#literally one of my favorite things in the world. nerding out gives me life

[thebeautifulfantastic]

podcasts are so cool. i want to start a podcast someday but i don’t know someone who i’d want to host it with yet

[lawsvalentine]

How They Flirt • OP Men HC •

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Ace, Law

CW: slightly suggestive on some but overall fluff, bit of humor

Cee’s Note: Be honest ya’ll…..would you fold? 👀

Luffy

VERRRY touchy 👀

Mans is literally attached to your hip

If y’all are standing, he wraps his arms around you and holds you from the back

If y’all are sitting, he either has his arm over your shoulder or he’s resting his head against your chest

If y’all are lying down, he’s either laying on your stomach/ass or cuddling you

The funny thing is he does it like it’s the most normal thing in the world

Your in the middle of a conversation with the girls.

“Hey guys! What island are we heading to next?”

Luffy comes up behind you and wraps his arm around your waist. Despite your flustered face and the girl’s weird looks. Luffy carries on the conversation without a second thought.

Luffy is also very blunt with his feelings

You will not have to question whether he is into you bc trust me he will make it KNOWN

Nami had to knock him silly a couple times for blurting out something inappropriate

Zoro

Zoro is more lowkey with his flirting

He will playfully tease you by calling you princess and dollface just to start banter between you two

He finds it so hot that you challenge him and don’t back down from his taunts

He likes seeing how passionate you get when you too bicker

He sees you carrying something heavy

“I don’t think you can handle all that, princess.”

“I can handle myself just fine, tough guy”

PLS his dick is so hard for you sgdhdj

Even though you say you can handle yourself that doesn’t stop zoro from doing things for you

Not that he doesn’t think you can, but it’s just in his nature to want to protect you and help you

Despite all this, don’t expect him to confess his feelings first sgshdj

You will have to be the one to make the first move

Usopp

Mans will say every and anything to impress you shshdj

Just lying straight through his teeth about “being an expert” at whatever the hell you are interested in lol

If you suddenly pick up a hobbie for shell collecting, suddenly he is the shell connoisseur and will go out of his way to find shells for you

“This one is so pretty Usopp, thank you!”

“Oh please, this little one is nothing! You should see the massive collection of shells I have back at Drum Island. It will blow you away!”

This man….

He will also try and act like he’s so experienced saying he’s been with so many women when in reality the farthest he’s gone was a hug by nami sgshdjdj

If you play along and take him up on his offer to “rock your world” you will have him a flustered stuttering mess 😭

Ace

Ok let’s be real….

Ace got the best rizz out of all the men here sgdhhd

He is just naturally charismatic and charming without even trying

But ironically when he’s actually trying to put the moves on you he can be corny asl 😭😭

I’m talkin pick up lines corny shdhjd

“Does your feet hurt?”

“What are you-“

“Because you’ve been running through my mind” 😏

“…..” 🧍🏽‍♀️

He’s so…..

Let’s just say he’s lucky he’s pretty lol

Law

This man does not know how to flirt to save his life sgshdjjd

If you actually thought he had rizz be so fr 😭

Mans is antisocial and keeps to himself

But when he does have a crush he literally doesn’t know how to handle it sgdhdj

His way of flirting is trying to give you fun facts about anatomy sgshdj

“Did you know that the female body is naturally more flexible than men due to them having more elastins in their tendons”

“Ok…..good to know?”

PLS he’s such a nerd shddjj

He’ll also gush about his favorite comic if you show an interest in it so prepare for even more facts 😭

Just like Zoro, will absolutely not make the first move so you will have to literally spell it out to him that you like him sgdhjd

[jeonfiles]

sweetest apparition 01│ jjk

pairings: nerd!jungkook x popular!female reader

genre: angst with a bit of fluff and a bittersweet ending (and the tamest smut you’ve ever read)

synopsis: he admired you from a distance. everyone did. you're serene, words dance like ballerinas of your tongue, stars aligning when you laugh, the wind was made to sway with your hair, you were just too good for the world, and you would never know his name.

warnings: !! graphic deceptions of domestic abuse!! , jungkook is a little too in love, oc is kinda obsessed too, mentions of alcohol and drug abuse

wc: 12k oops

a/n: if you're triggered by domestic abuse pls don't read, i will write other stories without a single mention of it soon, im sorry i love you :( this story is just everything i wanted to write for so long and i hope you don't think its cliche lol

++ started writing this in 2021 and it took me so long to finish

masterlist │ my cc

14 days

A loud smack echoed in the dark living room, the smell of alcohol making him sick to his stomach, cheek red from the impact. He carefully held his palm up against his cheek as he prayed to god for someone to save him from this awful household, and his father's clutch.

Jungkook wasn't a crier, he had grown accustomed to the lack of parental love, yet it still stung a little when he heard his father curse at him, questioning why he even had kids. Dragging his feet down the wood-covered halls, Jungkook scrunched his nose in disgust as he saw mold growing on the walls, and he had no idea what to do with it.

His feet took him all the way to his room, dimly lit up with a little nightlight he had bought at the town's annual festival, and next to it was a birthday card from a few years back, which you had given him. He wasn't a stalker, it was just the only birthday card he had gotten from anyone. You were both 11 back then, and Jungkook had invited the whole grade to a party at his grandma's house.

No one showed up the first 20 minutes, and Jungkook cried in his grandma's arms until the doorbell rang, and a sniffling Jungkook opened the door to see you, smiling brightly, stretching out your birthday card with two ten thousand won bills paper-clipped inside.

Jungkook appreciated how you didn't pity him that day, how you didn't even ask about the other guests' absence. You just devoured the chocolate cake together, both laughing at each other and your glaze-stained faces. You never spoke to Jungkook afterward, yet you still left the biggest mark in his heart, and he would never, ever in his life forget you, and how you lit up a broken little boy's heart forever.

Tears prickling in his eyes, blinking them away, gone as fast as they came. He went to sleep early that night, knowing he would see you tomorrow, possibly the only thing keeping him from completely giving up. You were his everything, the light of his life, shimmer in his eyes, despite you not remembering his name. He didn't care, he would just continue fantasizing till it swallows him whole.

13 days

The front strands of your ponytail fell down in your face as you laughed joyously, bubbles brewing in his stomach as he tightened his grip on the book he was reading, The Lover by Marguerite Duras, a disturbing book, which he wasn't focusing on at all.

You were laying down in the grass, frilly pink skirt and a white top, summer breeze warm and comforting, as you giggled with two of your many friends, Jihan and Sooyoung.

The two last weeks of school before the summer break was your favorite, your report cards had been handed out and the school didn't require you to wear uniforms either, so you could wear all the pretty clothes you had bought, preparing for the hot weather.

A guy approached you, which Jungkook recognized as Kim Taehyung, your best friend, with who you were very comfortable, a bit too much for Jungkook's liking.

His whole stomach twisted into a harsh knot when he threw his arms playfully around her neck, quite literally, because he could feel his breakfast come up his throat as he gripped onto the bench, hurling onto the grass. In some ways, he knew it was coming. He had felt the weird feeling in his stomach since he woke up.

"Oh god... Look at Jungkook!" Jihan chuckled, a vicious tone in her laugh. A frown formed on your face, feeling bad for him, so you loosened yourself from Taehyung as you reached for your purse to approach him.

"Jihan." You gave her a cold stare, and she looked away awkwardly, "I'll be back soon." Already rushing over to the boy who was about to wipe his mouth with his hand.

"You shouldn't-!" You exclaim, and he freezes. He's still hanging, face facing the grass, huddled over the bench, saliva dripping from his mouth, probably an attempt to get rid of the gruesome taste.

Jungkook slowly turned his head to face you, and his whole body froze when he met your sympathetic gaze. Digging through your purse you found makeup wipes, holding one out for him to grab. He didn't take it, so you leaned forward to wipe his mouth yourself. "Yuck, this must've been horrible. Are you okay?" You smiled as the tissue met the corner of his mouth, with no trace of disgust on your face.

He didn't try to pull back either, he was so mesmerized by your face up close, he genuinely thought his fantasies had finally swallowed him whole.

Jungkook had an unreadable expression on his face, he was pale like milk, and you felt worried and contemplated calling for a teacher, but you realized they could probably not do any more than you could, considering you were outside of campus, in the park on the other side of town for another foolish class outing.

Placing the used wipe on the bench next to him, he winced and moved a little away from it, and you just felt relieved that he wasn't completely dead. You grabbed a water bottle from your purse, holding it for him so he could drink. It was a hot summer day, the scorching heat had probably gotten to him, lips dry like sandpaper.

He took a few sips, hesitating for a while until he kept drinking. "You must've been so lightheaded, you have to take care of yourself." He only nodded in response. You threw the wipes away and buttered up your hands in hand sanitizer and hand cream before getting comfortable on the bench next to Jungkook.

"Sorry if you don't want me next to you, but I don't think you should be alone like this. You have anyone who can pick you up?" He pondered on your question, only for a short while, until he realized, he had absolutely no one.

"No." He spoke dryly, voice weak and vulnerable. It made you want to protect him, but all you did was sit back in silence, placing your hand on Jungkook's knee, and he grimaced in pain, letting out a small whine.

"Shit, I´m so sorry!" You pulled your hand away, smiling apologetically. Your friends looked at you, questioning looks on their faces as to why you were sitting next to someone like Jungkook.

You brushed them off, and Jungkook crossed his arms protectively, and you felt a pang of guilt. He had only uttered a single word to you, as simple as "No."

When he lifted his arms up, you took it as an opportunity to let your eyes wander, noticing how frail the boy was, how his skin was light as day, and his bicep covered in a purple bruise on his arm, you couldn't help but think he had been sick for a while.

"Let's move out of the sun." You smiled, standing up and taking his hand, and he slowly got up, and you offered a second hand to help him get stable.

His legs were wobbly, the emotions were too much for him. He was holding your hand, you were caring for him, just like you did many years back. You hadn't changed, you were still an angel and not a product of his imagination.

The tears that had been welling up in his eyes last night finally came to the surface, endlessly rolling down his cheeks. You could nearly feel the sting as you heard his quiet sobbing and saw his cheeks turn splotchy red.

He looked embarrassed, mortified actually. You quickly placed his arm over your shoulder, as you started walking away from the open areas of the park. The bus station was close by, so you walked away from the park and your teachers, and none of you seemed to care.

A bus you took quite often luckily passed by, and you waved for it to stop, and of course, the bus driver stopped for you, a sight to behold, and you halted onto the bus with a sniffling Jungkook.

You both looked at each other, eyes widening when you realized that you had skipped school. Chuckling together, your heart warmed up, finally, he was smiling.

You wiped his tear with his thumb as you swore you would protect him from all danger. You both went separate ways that evening after you paid for some cheap mediocre sandwiches at the gas station, not talking much.

12 days left

The next time you see Jungkook, it's no different from the first, he's in yet another pitiful situation, nervously picking up all the books he had just dropped on the ground when crashing into Moonbin, another sleaze who has tried it with you.

"Watch your step dweeb," Moonbin growled, placing a foot on Jungkook's shoulder, pushing him down so his head hits the gravel.

Poor Jungkook groaned in agony, throbbing pain as he rushed to pick up the rest of his books, muttering sorry over and over again.

"Moonbin, what the fuck is your problem?" You stepped in, his saving angel. God had sent you to aid him, he was sure of it. "What has he ever done to you?" You spat, standing between the two boys.

Moonbin was a good 6'3, his height a little intimidating, yet you didn't budge. "Y/N-ah, seriously, stay out of it." His expression softened at the sight of you, and it only made you even angrier, stepping with full force on his foot, making him yell in agony, the little heel crushing his toes.

"Jungkook is my friend, and you don't mess with my friends." You smiled proudly, shooing Moonbin and his bruised ego away before you sat down on the ground with Jungkook, who looked at you like you possessed the world's greatest treasures.

You knew his name. You, Y/N Y/L/N, knew his name. He could squeal in happiness any second, luckily his throbbing headache kept him grounded, adoration glazing his pretty eyes. He had a little bruise on his forehead from the gravel, luckily no blood, and you didn't dare touch it, afraid Jungkook would cry out in pain again like he did two days ago.

You followed him to the bathroom, offering to hold his stuff for him, even his phone, case decorated in Undertale and Zelda stickers, and you laughed to yourself as you traced the stickers with your fingers. Out of a sudden, the buzzes from his phone wouldn't stop, and you flipped his phone around to see series of messages on his lock screen.

Dad 04:37pm

Where are you

You idior come home or i'l, throw your shit ouvt

Ungsteful brat no wonder your mom left tou

Heart dropping to the floor, you dismissed the messages and pretended you had never even seen them, scared Jungkook would close up again as he had finally started talking to you.

When he exited the bathroom, you pretended you hadn't seen anything, yet the lump in your stomach just grew bigger every time you looked at him. You started noticing, how his eyes were puffy, bags under his eyes, one cheek redder than the other, how skinny Jungkook was, and it made you shiver.

"A-are you.. alright?" He asked softly, and you only nodded, pressing your books up against your chest, trying to suppress whatever emotions you so desperately wanted to show.

He followed you home that evening, and you nearly cried out for him not to leave, not to go home to his dad who's texts had scared the living daylights out of you, so you reached for his hand.

"Stay for a while?" You pleaded, smiling, and he could see a little hurt in your eyes. He wanted to, so badly. Then he realized that he had a father at home, so he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, my dad wants me home." And you could hear the fear in his voice as he got ready to leave. His lips reduced into a thin line as you pouted.

"Give me your number at least." You smiled, despite being afraid, and he obliged, typing his number in on your phone, being extremely cautious because of the price of your new iPhone 12, while he was stuck with the iPhone 5.

He turned on his heel, and you couldn't stop him. He slipped out of your hands, your grip. You gulped, watching him walk till he was out of sight. You tossed and turned the whole night, which you never did, you always fell asleep in minutes. You were worried, a few dry cries probably left your mouth.

11 days left

He was present in class the next morning, a feeling of relief as you saw him with his nose down in another book, yet he looked even more defeated than yesterday. He ignored your smiles, he just looked at you with a dead expression and pushed his glasses up his nose, throwing his hoodie over his head, looking back down into his books.

Class ended, and you gracefully walked over to Jungkook's desk, because it seemed like he had no intention of getting up. "I made extra lunch this morning so we could share. You never eat during break so-"

"Y/N, leave." He pointed at the door, all the other students leaving, signaling for you to leave with them, you refused, and pulled out a chair to sit in front of him.

"You're all skin and bones, Jungkook. Let's enjoy this meal together, I can be silent if you want." You shrugged, grabbing two bento boxes from your backpack.

"Why do you care? Don't you have friends you should be spending time with?" Jungkook spat, not even willing to look you in the eyes.

You just kept smiling, opening the boxes carefully and handing him a pair of chopsticks, "You're my friend too, Kook-ah," and he accepted, a small grin appearing on his face.

He loves you, he absolutely loves you. He doesn't even mind that you feel nothing for him, you are so, so perfect. Jungkook could stare at you all day, letting your beauty sink in time and time again. He wants to hold you because you're so close to him, but he knows that you're two worlds apart, no matter the distance between you two.

You could hold him so tight he'd turn blue and you'd still be so god damn far away, you were so out of his league, as cliche as it sounds, it's completely true.

Eating together in silence as you promised. Jungkook was completely engulfed in your sweet, silent beauty, how you resembled a wave that hits the shore with such ease, splashing everywhere, landing as simple drops of water, which couldn't hurt anyone.

You weren't loud and outrageous, you enjoy moments of silence, you love everything enclosed, safe and sound company, exactly like Jungkook.

"You wanna come to my house today?" You break the comfortable silence.

"I can't." He replies, sounding awfully sad.

You could ask why, but you chose not to. You didn't want to pick scabs off wounds you couldn't see, so you waited till he told you yourself. Hoping he would.

"Okay. You have my number though, can we text tonight?" You smile, knowing it's weird to ask someone to text you, but Jungkook was weird too, so it didn't matter.

He nodded and continued reading a book you knew nothing about. You appreciate a good book, classics like Catcher in the Rye, and How to kill a mocking bird, but it seemed like Jungkook had taken the next step into the world of literature.

He made you happy, his company felt good. Nothing could hurt you now, yet everything could hurt Jungkook, and you swore you felt nauseous just thinking about it. You knew what was happening in his home, but you needed him to tell you, trust you, before you could help him. Give him what he deserves, he just needs to hang in there for a little while longer.

"Can't we skip school tomorrow, we can do something then? It won't affect our report cards!" You shake him excitedly, yet carefully, like he's fragile

"They'll call home, my parents are already mad at me for a bad grade I got last week." Jungkook sighs, closing the book he was reading. He lets out a weak, quiet yawn.

You think he's pretty like this, eyes puffy and lips pouted, hair messy, glasses resting on his nose. Jungkook has the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen, and you swore to god you could drown in them.

10 days left

See tags for warnings.

He dragged his feet down the pavement of a busy street, trapping onto his heavy backpack. It was a long walk since he had missed the bus home from school. He was tired today, even worse than yesterday. The summer sun was frying him alive, forehead covered in drops of sweat, hair sticking to his forehead.

Wearing a sweater and jeans was probably not the most comfortable choice, but sure as hell the most secure one. He hated his legs, and his arms covered in purple and blue bruises, and how he wasn't fit at all, in fact, he had never entered a gym before.

Sometimes, he'd take the long way home. He tried to convince himself that it was for health reasons, that he needed the extra steps because all he did was stay in his room. Jungkook knew it was untrue. The only reason he took the long way home is because of his father and his unpredictable mood swings. Sometimes, he'd be in a good mood. He might even offer Jungkook the remote and the best spot in the sofa after a long school day.

Today, he was just so exhausted he even took a shortcut. He just needed a nap and something to eat. Opening the front door, he carefully stepped inside. His dad was on the back porch, smoking a cigarette and listening to the radio. Jungkook couldn't tell what kind of mood he was in. When he went to get something to eat, the fridge was nearly empty. Just some cheese and a few jars of jam. Maybe he could find some crackers to eat it with.

Looking closer at the cheese, it was expired. There were no crackers in the cupboard either. He had to approach his dad and see what mood he was in. Slowly sliding the glass door open, he called out with his softest voice:

"Dad?" His voice quivered.

His father turned around abruptly, seeing his son in the doorway. "What do you want now? I can't drive you to school if that's what you're gonna ask me. If you missed the bus you can walk." Jungkook heard his voice getting more irritable towards the end of the sentence.

He had to be so so careful.

"Uh, no... I just got home from school." He stopped to think for a while and his dad raised his eyebrows. "There's no food in the fridge. I was just gonna remind you that you need to go to the grocery store."

Jungkook´s father stood up, pushing his chair back.

"Who are you to tell me what I need to do?" He came closer and Jungkook braced himself. "You're just like your useless mother. Can't do anything on your own." He hadn't raised his voice yet.

"Sorry... M´sorry..." Jungkook muttered underneath his breath. At some point in his life he stopped defending his mom. It was somewhat true. She was useless, at least to him. She had ran away from her husband, Jungkook´s father, and started a new family with a nice husband. She deserved all of that at the time and promised to come back for Jungkook once everything was settled a few weeks later.

She never came.

"I can't believe I messed my life up so bad. Look at your mother running away from her own son, to think that I married her! Even worse, look at the son that I raised. Such a weak and sad boy. I can't even call you a man." He was yelling and Jungkook knew he was only seconds away from hurting him again.

Jungkook couldn´t even bother replying before his head hit the porch floor. He was still conscious and his dad pulled him up by the collar for another round.

When he was done, Jungkook limped his way into his bedroom and his dad sunk back into his chair and turned up the music even louder. He sat down in his bed and slowly took his hood off, wincing from the pain. His mind drifted elsewhere and landed on the thought of you. How your kindness and care could have calmed him down in seconds.

He picked up his phone and looked at the text from you from last night.

Y/N 9:17 pm - Yesterday

Hi Jungkook, how are you? ❤️ I can see that you're reading these :( Read 9:19

Jungkook 5:45 pm

Sorry. Hi. To be honest I could be better. How about you?

Y/N 5:49 pm

Happy you replied and sad to hear that you're not doing well. I really want you to come to my house tomorrow 🙏 I even told my parents that I made a new friend who's not related to my current friend circle and they couldn't be happier!! Pretty pretty pleaseee

Jungkook hesitated for a while. Considering his dad couldn't even grasp that it was 4 pm when he came home and not 7 in the morning makes him believe that he won't notice his absence for a few hours tomorrow. And even if he did, it would be worth it.

Jungkook 5:57 pm

Fineee

Y/N 5:58 pm

Yayy I can't wait!!

For the first time in a while, Jungkook wasn't dreading waking up in the morning.

9 days left

Jungkook 1:22 pm

Should we meet a slight distance away from school or should I just go directly to your house?

Y/N 1:25 pm

What are u saying? Meet me by the main entrance and we'll walk together!!

And so he did. You walked out the main entrance with your entire friend group and you smiled brightly as your eyes met with his. He was caught off guard by your lack of shame. "See you guys tomorrow!" You smiled brightly, and all your friends stared back with a confused look as you skipped towards Jungkook.

"What are you doing?" Jihan exclaimed. You turned around to her and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I´m gonna hang out with my friend!" All of your friends looked at you funny and you pushed Jungkook along.

"Sorry they're being such idiots to you. I try to make them stop but I think they have some deep rooted insecurities." You chuckled after a while of silence.

"It´s fine." Jungkook forced a smile and looked you in the eyes.

"No, it's really not fine and you need to stop saying that." You came to a halt and he turned to you. He didn't say anything and you couldn't read his facial expressions.

He knew he was dead silent and you probably thought it was weird. Only right now was he taking in how beautiful this side of town was. Large mansion style houses with three cars parked outside each house, modern communal parks and clean streets. You fit in so perfectly here.

If he closed his eyes real tight and concentrated very hard he could imagine himself as a family man in one of these stunning houses. Maybe he could own a Benz that he could take his kids to school in. They would never take the bus and they'd always come home to open arms and a homemade meal on the table.

Warm and lighthearted conversations at the dining table with his wife and children, everything his mom and dad couldn't give him. A pat on the back if they fail a test and not a slap in the face. That's what he wanted to give his children.

Jungkook was lost in thought and so were you. You were stood there thinking about how stunningly pretty Jungkook was. When you were close to him it was almost heartbreaking how it hasn't been appreciated more. How his face belonged on a canvas. That's what you thought of him. You aren't the type to stay silent when you really mean something. For some reason the words just don't come out the right way when you're with him.

"Are your parents home?" He questioned as you kept walking.

"My mom probably. My dad will be home for dinner."

The rest of the evening goes smoothly. Your mom loves Jungkook and constantly gushes about how well mannered he is. Your dad appreciates that he only speaks when he is spoken to and that he has realistic ambitions. You spend most of your time in the upstairs living room playing a stupid board game and watching a dumb sitcom.

It's quiet most of the time but the both of you can feel that you enjoy each others company. Just simply co-existing and not being alone feels nice for the both of you.

As Jungkook is putting his shoes on to leave, your mom walks in. "Jungkook-ah, why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow as well? You're such a pleasure to have as a guest." She proposes, and he nods.

"If Y/N wants to spend time with me two days in a row." He chuckles slightly.

"You know I do."

He smiles, you exchanged goodbyes and he shuts the door behind him. Both you and your mom stay silent for a while before she breaks the silence.

"I hope this boy isn't a pity project to you, honey. You can obviously see that he's struggling and you can't just leave him behind when you're bored of him. He needs you more than you need him." She places her cold hand on your shoulder as she leaves you standing in the hallway.

You're not so sure that he really needs you more than you need him, because you so desperately need a friend.

8 days left

"Jungkookie, can I tell you a secret?" You're situated on your queen bed with floral sheets, both sitting with your legs crossed like 5th grade girls. Jungkook looked up and raised an eyebrow curiously at you as he nodded slowly.

"I was hanging with the wrong crowd a while ago. Not that I'm hanging out with the right crowd now, but you get the expression." You chewed your bottom lip nervously before you continue. "You know when I left school for a month to go to the Caribbeans?"

He lifted his eyebrows and widened his eyes in a "Yes... And?" type of way.

"I wasn´t in the Caribbeans. I was in rehab. An old friend of mine overdosed and I had to get drug tested. I tested positive on coke and my parents shipped me straight off to rehab." His expression softened as he placed a hand on your knee just like you had done to him a few days earlier.

"I was so mad at the time, I wanted to get emancipated from my parents. Today, I'm grateful. Grateful that they helped me so I didn't have to suffer the same fate as my friend." You sigh so deeply you could feel tears stinging in your eyes, but you managed to keep them down.

"Why´d you do it? Take the drugs I mean?" Jungkook asked ever so carefully, and you knew he only meant well.

"I guess I wanted to feel something." You shrug. "I think that´s why everyone does drugs in one way or another. To either feel or not feel." You smile sheepishly.

"What's your secret?" Feeling a little vulnerable and naked, you divert the attention to him. Maybe you're hoping to hear something about his dad. If he hurts Jungkook. That's what you suspect by the clothes Jungkook wears in this hot weather. How he always tugs at his sleeves.

"I want to study nursing." You stare at him and he knows it not as interesting as what you told him. "I haven't told anyone, ever. Maybe it's not what you wanted to hear but to me it's a secret." He stared down in his lap, not meeting your gaze. Chipping at the loose skin around a sore on his hand.

"That's really cool Kook-ah. I'm happy I'm the first to know." He looks back up at you. "Where have you applied?"

"I applied to PNU but tuition wise I think INJE or Dong-A is more realistic."

All of the universities he has applied to are all in Busan and you swore you could hear your own heart shatter. "Busan, really?"

"My aunt lives there and offered to let me stay with her for the first years of my studies." He chimed happily. "I guess I don't have the best relationship with my dad."

You decided not to push it, not to ask any questions quite yet.

"How about you Y/N-ah?" You liked the way your name slipped of his tongue so gently.

"I´ve already accepted my spot at Yonsei. I'm gonna study dentistry, so I guess we'll be in the healthcare field together." You smile, but you can't help that you're looking quite disappointed. In some ways you were hoping for Jungkook to be your forever friend, not a friend you occasionally see whenever you're in each others cities.

"When are you leaving for Busan?" You question.

"After summer, I guess."

7 days left

The empty desk in the classroom makes your insides feel like they're gonna twist and turn and send your breakfast back up your throat. His empty desk.

The two of you had grown abnormally close over the past few days, texting all night and spending the daytime together in some kind of way. Maybe it's because neither of you know how healthy friendships are supposed to be paced, you feel like you've been friends forever.

The entire day went by and all you heard was the tuned out noise of your loud friends yelling across the lunch table with nothing interesting to say at all. Only shit talk and gossip. There's always a new guy or girl to talk shit about. Usually, you wouldn't participate in the chitchat, so they didn't notice your sullen mood today.

No matter how much you tried to paint yourself as a saint or a saviour, you only saw an accomplice when you looked in the mirror. You had the power to make them stop picking on so many people, in some way, they saw you as their leader. Maybe they'd abandon you at some point, but wouldn't it be worth it?

Despite the fact that you never encouraged it, you never stopped them either. So you weren't better than them in any way although you liked to believe so. You liked the validating feeling of them obeying the things you told them to do, and you guessed that´s why you're too scared to confront them. You're scared that they'll rebel against you and leave you behind.

Y/N 11:21 am

Kook-ah, where are u?

Jungkook 11:24 am

At home The walk back from your house gave me a cold I think

Y/N 11:25 am

Oh no :( Get well soon and text me tn!! <3

You knew he was lying and you could feel your heart hurting from lunch time till you were in bed staring at the ceiling. "Honey! Dinner is ready!" Your mom yelled from downstairs, and you barely heard it through your door.

"Not hungry!" You yelled back, continuing the intense stare-off with your ceiling. Your mind explored deep and dark places when you were alone. Letting your mind slip back to your past or the worst experiences throughout your life was very typical of you to do.

The text message you sent to Jungkook is left unread. Until it isn't anymore.

Jungkook 8:21 pm

I really need you right now

You started blankly at the screen, heart pounding in your chest whilst typing your message.

Y/N 8:21 pm

Ofc, where r u???

Jungkook shared his location with you for 1 hour

You raced down the stairs, and your parents looked at you confusedly as you rushed past them and put on your running shoes in the hallway. You so badly wished you had your license. Darting out the door and slamming the door behind you, you weren't thinking straight. The air was cold for a summer night, but it was still bright out.

Jungkook lived on the other side of Goyang, a city right outside Seoul that you both resided in. Walking would probably take you 45 minutes at least. You didn't care. The wind ran through your hair as your breath was pacing. You made awfully loud noises as it was starting to get tiring. You refused to stop running, you couldn't stop running. Your body wouldn't let you.

The location Jungkook sent you was a park, and you guessed it was close to his house. Sometimes you picked up your phone for directions but you never stopped running, you only slowed down to a jog. A faint iron taste was present in your mouth and you were heaving for air, but he needed you.

Someone finally needs you.

You ran across busy roads, cars honking and people yelling out their car windows after you. At some point you even fell and twisted your ankle, but it only slowed you down slightly. At some point you start thinking of other means of transportation you could've turned to to get to him. This felt more rewarding.

"He needs me!" You yelled out like a crazy woman to motivate yourself as you picked up your pace.

"Your destination is 1 minute away." Your phone said from your back pocket. You looked around, and a bench with a silhouette sitting on it caught your eye. You ran over, head banging and feet sore.

You stopped abruptly in front of him, trying to catch your breath. You met his gaze. His teary-eyed gaze. All you could do was throw your arms around him and hold him ever so tightly. He sniffled into your cardigan and held you close.

He was gonna be okay. You didn't ask any questions that night.

6 days left

You were nibbling on a mozzarella stick your mom had packed in your lunchbox. Everyone else was eating the cafeteria food, but you couldn't stand the nauseating creamy pasta they served every other week. All your friends were talking about something you couldn´t focus on. Suddenly a few girls rushed over and shouted your name.

"YN-ah!! They're fighting over you!" You recognised a few of the girls; Jisoo, Heejin and Soomin. They had math class with you, and god, they were loud. Loud but kind. They´d always include you in their conversations since none of your friends were in that class.

You shook your head trying to come back to your senses. "Who is fighting over me?" You blurted out.

"Moonbin made the first punch but he punched back!" Heejin shook your shoulders and made you come with her. "Can you believe it?" She spoke yet again, dragging you down the hallway, your friends were right behind you.

"Who is the other guy?!" You refused to keep walking before they told you.

"Jungkook, obviously! He punched back!" They almost laughed in disbelief.

Jungkook. He was defending himself against Moonbin. The thought sent shivers down your spine. Moonbin was a self proclaimed professional in bathroom fighting. He'd fight anyone for any reason he could think of, just for the fun of it. He didn't leave Jungkook alone when you told him, in fact, it probably provoked him even more that you stood up against him a few days back.

The girls pulled you around the corner and into the mens bathroom. Moonbin had Jungkook by his collar, his nose was bleeding and there was blood on his blue shirt. He didn't look scared though. He looked completely and utterly numb. Moonbin turned around to see you in the doorway, and his face was pretty bruised up too considering the punch had only been thrown minutes ago.

"Moonbin, please stop!" You nearly screamed, choking on a sob. It only infuriated him more and he threw a gut punch at Jungkook. He winced in pain, and you let out a squeal as you could feel it slightly in your own stomach. The pain.

Taehyung came up behind you and you turned to him. "Please, for the love of god, stop them. For me." The tears were running down your face already, and he´d do anything for you if you asked. Taehyung rushed over and separated the two, and a few others who were watching helped hold Moonbin back. You followed close behind, and watched Jungkook slide down against the wall.

"Make them leave, please." You pleaded with Taehyung, and he obliged. He told everyone to get out as you fell to the floor next to Jungkook. You placed your hand on the cut on his lip and wiped the blood off.

"I´m so sorry. So god damn sorry." You sobbed uncontrollably at this point, and he was the one to comfort you when he was the one who was hurt. "Stop apologising." He held you this time.

"I keep making things worse for you. I act like some kind of saviour when I do the exact opposite." His gaze softens.

"It's worth it to me." He says, running his hands through your hair.

"You're worth it to me." You barely hear him saying it, but it's loud enough for you to hear. A soft, pained whisper.

"I think you're the best thing that ever happened to me." You reply.

5 days left

Jungkook was seated on the ottoman, his face covered in band aids and strips. You were twirling around outside the dressing room in a white summery maxi dress. "What about this one?" You question, doing an extra twirl.

"It's nice." He shrugs, letting his eyes wander down your body starting from the top. How the dress hugged you in the completely right places. Your hips and waist looked amazing, and he so badly wanted to touch you. Without the dress if he could, but he'd be more than satisfied with it on.

Your expression saddened as your mouth formed a frown. "Okay, should I be completely honest?" He asked seriously.

"Should I be scared?" You laughed. "Go ahead."

"I think it's beautiful. It's perfect. You're perfect." He said sheepishly. He meant it although he hesitated. You were so perfect. Jungkook hadn't been to the Louvre ever before, but he was sure that a painting of you would attract more attention than the Mona Lisa ever could.

He was sure people would travel from every corner of the world to see your face, even in a painting. Everyone who were lucky enough in person should be thanking the universe for blessing them with the opportunity.

"Really?" You beamed, heart pounding. "Is it okay for graduation?" You look down at yourself hesitantly, the cleavage of the dress maybe dipping down a bit too low.

"More than okay."

The sales assistant came to check up on you and her eyes lit up when she saw you in the dress. "It's gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. I think you need this."

"Honestly, I do too after such positive feedback." You giggled lightly. "Can you take his measurements and pick out a suit for him as well please?" You point at Jungkook seated on the green velour ottoman.

"Me?" He was flustered and looked you dead in the eyes.

"Yes, you silly." You smiled softly.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He desperately pleaded with you with his eyes and pulled you aside.

"Y/N I can't afford this. I don´t know if you think that I have more money than I do but I seriously have to scrape together money for a new hoodie from H&M."

"No, god. I´m not making you pay when I dragged you all the way over here. Consider it a graduation gift. If not, salary for being my personal shopping assistant." You nudged his shoulder playfully.

"Look, I´ll wear some black pants that sort of look like suit pants and the school uniform shirt. I can't let you do this." He almost pushed you against the wall as he grasped both your shoulders. Unbothered, you pushed his hands off you.

"Can´t let my date wear something simple as that to graduation. My grandparents are gonna frame the pictures of me and you're gonna be in them. I want you to feel confident that day. You deserve it." You pull him in for a hug.

You walked back to the sales assistant. "Will you take him to get his measurements?" She nodded, and now it was your turn to sit on the ottoman. He ended up trying on a few suits, and you landed on one that the both of you really liked. You could see him sweat when looking at the price tag but you reassured him with your soft smile.

"Get changed and we'll go pay." He agreed and disappeared behind the curtain. You fiddled with your phone for a while before going to browse the store. Understandingly, a suit that was so perfect for his figure would take a while to get out off, but you went to check on him.

Between the crack of the curtain and the wall you saw him. His upper body undressed as he touched a wound. His whole back covered in purple, red and dark bruises. You had watched enough medical shows to know that they weren't from yesterday. He had more scars and bruises visible than skin.

He saw you in the mirror and turned around. He looked scared to death. Like you were gonna hurt him as well. "Y/N, what the fuck?" You stood frozen. You were scared too. All your suspicions confirmed. Sometimes, late at night, you'd comfort yourself thinking that you were overreacting.

He threw on his sweater and pushed you to get past. You almost stumbled. Before you knew it, you saw him outside the store window, nearly running to get away. Get away from you and your invasive self. He had hung his suit up carefully, and defeatedly you took it with you to the counter where your dress was laying.

"Can you get the suit delivered? I did something stupid and he's not gonna accept it if I turn up on his doorstep." The cashier understandingly nodded. You took your phone out as you waited for the cashier to finish adding up your total and bagging it up.

Y/N 3:12 pm

I´m so sorry I keep saying sorry but I really do mean it. I'm not gonna bring it up, ever. If you wanna talk I'm here but I´ll keep my mouth shut till you tell me to open it up. Please don´t close down on me.

"Excuse me, miss?" The cashier waved his hand as you had zoned out completely. "Sorry. Your total will be one point four million won." the cashier pointed to the terminal. (About a 1000 USD) "Delivery fees included." You swiped your card and he handed you a beautiful bag with gold writing.

Parts of you wishes that the suit was in the bag and Jungkook was walking nervously next to you.

You had to give him space.

3 days left

All of Sunday had passed without any replies from Jungkook. Your dad dropped you off outside school that morning. You weren't sure if Jungkook would be at school today, but you were dressed up pretty just in case. A pretty frilled blouse only for special occasions.

Like the gods had answered your prayers, you saw him. You met his eyes and he walked over to you. "Y/N-ah, I forgive you. I don't have time for anything else, I´m sorry."

"Time? What do you mean?"

"My aunt called yesterday. She needs help at her restaurant in Busan and asked me if I wanted a summer job and to move in earlier." He was studying your face to see your reaction.

"Jungkook-ah, no..." You whined.

"You of all people should know why I want to leave. Especially after what you saw." He tried to reason with you.

You threw your arms around him in the busy school hallway. "I know." You whispered. "It's okay."

"I just wished we had more time." You smiled bittersweetly as he pulled away. He wanted nothing more. He wanted nothing more than to stay with you forever.

"I got the suit." He changed the subject.

"Are you mad?" You gave him your best puppy eyes.

"Why would I be mad about a great graduation gift?" He laughed wholeheartedly, and his laugh filled your heart with warmth and gave you butterflies. He was making you all jittery.

Why?

2 days left

"Pour me another shot Jungkook-ah!" You held your shot glass in front of him as he smiled at you, pouring soju into your glass. You swung your arms around, singing to the music playing at the restaurant.

"Slow down." He said as he called for the waitress to take the soju away. "That's all for tonight, alright?" He patted your head. You liked the confidence boost the alcohol had given him. How he so openly flirted with you, and it satisfied some deep rooted needs of yours.

He paid for the drinks which you didn't notice in your state. "Let's walk home to sober up. We have school tomorrow."

"I think it's sad that we won't go to school together. We were totally acting like college students today and it was so fun. Drinking on a school night feels crazyyy..." You slurred and he pulled you closer as you almost stumbled over your own feet.

"Yeah, it is sad."

The rest of the walk was silent. Stopping outside your house, you felt a few raindrops hit your cheeks and head. Jungkook cursed under his breath. He had a forty minute walk home. "Do you have an umbrella I could borrow by any chance?" He asked shyly, retorting back to his humble, sober self for a second.

"No. Don´t wanna." You crossed your arms. "My parents are away for their anniversary. Won't be home until graduation." Tugging at his denim jacket sleeve, signalising for him to come inside.

"I shouldn't. I should go home." He refused.

"Sure, you should go home, but do you want to go home?" He looked so gut-wrenchingly sexy underneath the street lights, hair ruffled and a tired look on his face. Shirt unbuttoned so you could see his golden tanned chest.

"No." He replied, and you pulled him inside by his sleeve. You took off your shoes and for a few seconds you just stood looking at each other. Something was in the air. Something you had never felt with Jungkook before. It wasn't comfortable anymore, it was electric.

You needed him so bad and you were about to throw yourself at him. He beat you to it, he grabbed you and pinned you up against the wall. Your lips crashed and you didn't have time to catch a breath. You let out a few desperate moans to catch your breath as you both stumbled down the hallway over to the staircase.

As you were making your way up the stairs, you fell on your butt down on one of the steps and he got on top of you. You chuckled between the desperate kisses as he lifted you up the stairs. He was stronger than you thought.

He went down the upstairs hallway with you in his arms and into your bedroom with an open door. He threw you on the bed and wasted no time in trying to take off your shirt. "Kook-ah, I need you so so bad." You whimpered in despair, rutting your hips forward.

"I´ll make it worth it." He smirked as he kissed you. While kissing you he started unbuttoning your pants and you helped him. You were all exposed to him and he was completely clothed. You looked each other in the eye and slowed down. He started with his jacket. He hesitated with the shirt.

"Can I?" You looked up at him. He nodded slowly. You gently took his t-shirt off, and he felt incredibly exposed with all his bruises on display. You only smiled as you placed kisses on his chest, trailing down his stomach.

He took his pants off on his own and you handed him a condom. He slowed down again and you raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, a thought popped into your head.

"Kook-ah... Are you like.. a virgin?" you ask innocently.

He nods slowly again. "Don't treat me any differently than you would with an experienced guy. Some guidance might be nice but-" He says, panicked. You interrupt him. "So you want this?" You take his hand and you embrace it with your own.

"I want this more than anything." He kissed you again.

"I´ll take care of you." You bit the wrapper open and he put the pieces together as to how you're supposed to put it on.

"Aren't you supposed to do some sort of foreplay before?" He questioned awkwardly.

"It´s usually for the girls´ sake. I don't need that. I need you inside of me." You moaned, leading his body closer to yours. He let his hands slide up the side of your waist before carefully going inside you.

"Okay, do what you want with me." You smirk slyly as you whisper. "I'm yours."

"I know. And I will." He thrusts harder into you and your moans come out in unison. Tears start running down your cheeks and he checks up on you by stopping.

"Please don't stop." You cry out, placing your hands on his back. "Please."

He obliges and doesn´t stop until both your bodies give out. You fall asleep like that, bodies close and sweaty.

1 day left

This wasn't what you two planned at all. You both were pacing around your bedroom, refusing to met each others eyes. The alcohol had clearly gotten to you two yesterday and you the air was different. It wasn't comfortable like usual, or electric last night. It was uncomfortable. You felt like you shouldn't have let him yesterday. You wanted him to lose his virginity with someone he was in love with, not a friend he's been close to for 2 weeks at most.

Jungkook didn´t regret losing his virginity to you, not all. You were careful and tender, but you didn't treat him any differently like he asked you not to do. He was ashamed because he thought you would regret it. That he took advantage of you in your drunken state, and that you wouldn't touch him like that sober.

You threw yourself down on the bed and let out an exasperated sigh. He looked to you and it felt like he was almost choking on his own heartbeats.

"Do you regret sleeping with me?" He asked gently with a sullen tone, sitting down on the bed next to you. You sat up startled when you had processed what he said through your throbbing headache.

"What? No no no..." You cupped his face in your hands and stroked his cheek with your thumb. "I don't regret anything about last night, Kook-ah." You looked distraught, like you really meant it, like you were shocked by what he had said.

"Good. Cause I don't either." He placed his hand on yours. Jungkook took the hand you had placed on his face and placed it on his knee. He drew circles on your palms and made little hearts.

"Whatever this is.. Whatever we're doing right now; I don't want it to end." You smiled teary-eyed. He was leaving you and you didn't know what to do.

Jungkook wasn´t great with this kind of stuff. The touching, the loving and the expressions of love. All he did was nod quietly, and you knew by the look in his eyes that he felt the same.

You didn't know how to identify the feelings you felt for Jungkook. Throughout you've had boyfriends and best friends but none of them made you feel what you were feeling right now. Here, with him.

You had slept with a few guys before, and you've also slept with a best friend before. Taehyung, less than a year back. That felt weird, but not weird in the way Jungkook made you feel.

Not weird in a bad way.

"Y/N... I have to go. My dad´s at a meeting with the department of labor for a few hours and the moving trucks are coming in the meantime." He grimaced, wanting you to understand why he was leaving you high and dry at 6 am like this.

"Aren't you coming to school today?"

"No, I need to do this now or else I don't know how I´ll get out without him finding out." He put on his denim jacket and kissed you on the cheek. "I´ll see you tomorrow."

"If you're moving your stuff out today, where are you staying tonight?" You get up from the bed and you place yourself in front of him.

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"Stay here." You propose, smiling warmly.

God, he loved that smile. He loved you.

That morning, after he left you with your own thoughts again, you walk to school with a skip in your step. Taehyung greets you by the entrance and asks you why you're so smiley and weird today. You tell him that it's just one of those days.

He knows why you're smiling and he hates it. It's because of him. Taehyung can do nothing but observe as you make it so clear to him that you are not his and he is not yours.

You spend the rest of the school day thinking. You had lunch in the cafeteria with your friends and spent most of the time chatting with Taehyung about trivial stuff. University, summer and graduation. He was also staying in Seoul for school and was attending SNU law. You were impressed, not knowing that Taehyung had been able to get his grades up to study law.

"My parents wanted to send me to Harvard but contrary to popular opinion, I think it sounds overrated. I like the idea of being a student in Seoul." Taehyung explained, making you nod your head in agreement.

"I get that. There's just something about Seoul." He smiled as he stole a spoonful of your seaweed soup.

"Hey!" You ruffled his hair, knowing he had spent all morning doing it as revenge. He flung a spoonful of rice at your face and you laughed almost hysterically as you managed to inhale a grain of rice.

After a while you're laughing calmed down and your friends had stopped giving you two a weird look. "Do you have an apartment yet or are you commuting back and forth from your house?" He inquires, stirring his food around as fidgeting.

"I was thinking of moving out but I just can't find the right apartment. There's an open house next week that I want to go to." You explain, and he nods along.

"Is Jungkook coming with you?" He asks, now fiddling with his own thumbs.

"Uh.. no." He looks up at you. "He's moving to Busan tomorrow." You elaborate, and a look of pity flashes across his face.

"Oh."

"Yeah..." Taehyung smiled awkwardly. "So I'm gonna have to go all alone." You were insinuating that he should come with.

"I´ll go with you." He suggests. "If you want me to."

You nod.

It was starting to get dark out when you were seated in your windowsill with the window open. The window from your room had direct view down to the street and your frontyard. As promised, he was there, outside your door, waving up at you.

The day of

Jungkook was trying to curl your hair. After a few burns and a little cursing, he was starting to get the hang of it. You were sitting in front of the vanity with him standing behind you and while he was curling your hair, you were doing your makeup. The two of you were both in bathrobes, your outfits laying neatly on your bed.

"This stuff is hard. I'm sweating in fear of burning myself again." He snickers, and you laugh along.

"I´ll blow on your burns when you're done." You smiled at him in the mirror and you saw his reflection blushing slightly. "When is your train leaving tonight?"

"I'm taking the KTX train around 8 pm so I´ll be in Busan before midnight." He announces, and you feel realisation creeping up on you. Sure, the train ride isn't that long with the speed trains, but he's still far away and you're both gonna be busy. Your parents booked you a graduation trip to Greece with them and then you´re flying straight to Aiya Napa with a few friends, including Taehyung.

"Okay." Is all you manage to utter with a sigh at the end.

"You'll come with me to the train station, right?" He questions.

"Of course." You smile.

He finishes curling your hair and you add the finishing touches to your makeup. "All done." Jungkook grins proudly.

"It´s really pretty, thank you." You shake out the curls to see them properly and run your fingers carefully through them to loosen them up.

"I´m gonna go change." He said, gesturing towards your bathroom.

"Okay, let me do your hair when you're done please!" You request, giving him the puppy eyes that you give everyone when you want something your way.

"Maybe." Jungkook shuts the door behind him.

A few minutes later he came back out, all dressed up. Except the tie that he was holding in his hand. "I can't tie a tie." He admitted ashamedly, letting a slight chuckle escape his lips.

You turn around to see him and you're stunned. He looked great in the white lights in the store dressing rooms, but in this light, he looked gorgeous. The morning summer sun shining in through your window, hitting Jungkook like a spotlight.

Getting up from your chair and walking over to him, your heart was pounding a hundred beats a second. You couldn't shake the weird unidentifiable feeling that you felt when you were close to him. You swung the tie around his neck and tied it tight, but not too tight.

"I´ll send you a video tutorial if you want to know later, but we're gonna run late if we don't hurry up." You smile, patting his shoulder., signaling that you´re all done.

You point your finger to the chair in front of the vanity and he sits down. "Let's see. Hand me your gel." Running your fingers through his hair, he closes his eyes in pleasure.

"It's really nice when you touch my hair." He hums in delight.

You alternate using the comb and your hands and soon you finish up. "You like?" You ask with a satisfied grin on your face.

"I love." He almost blurts out a "you." at the end but he manages to hold it in.

"Now I need to put my dress on." You let your bathrobe fall to the floor, now standing there in your white lace underwear. Jungkook rapidly turns away from you and you laugh.

"After what we've done you really don't need to turn around." You smirk confidently, knowing you're gonna make him flustered. He turns back around, almost shamelessly to watch you.

You slip into the dress and you struggle with the zipper in the back. He notices your struggle and gets up to help you. "Let me." He offers and you would never say no.

He turns you around so he's facing your bare back. He can't help but let his hands caress your back for a while, up and down, back and forth. Seductively, he pulls the zipper up slowly and you can feel his fingers brush up your back as the dress tightens.

Getting ready to leave, Jungkook grabs his little backpack of necessities since all his things are on their way to Busan. After you've celebrated for a while you'll follow him to the train station to say your goodbyes.

Your parents drive you to the ceremony and you both hurried over to get your cap and gowns. The ceremony went nicely, and both you and Jungkook stood posing in your parents photos with your diplomas in hand.

"Kiss her on the cheek Jungkook-ssi!" Your mom laughed and you looked to Jungkook who was looking at your dad with a frightened look on his face.

He placed a soft kiss on your cheek as your dad jokingly shook his head. "What a pretty picture." She fawned when she looked at her camera. "Jinho, come see." Your mother gestured at your father and his lips curled slightly upwards before he pulled himself together.

The whole moment felt bittersweet and went by like you were thinking back on a blurry memory. Giggles, smiles, hugs and joy were the most prominent things in the blur that you felt.

You and Jungkook collected a few of the people who hadn't left school yet and invited them out for drinks. You purposely picked people who you weren't close with, except for Taehyung.

You invited Jisoo, the girl from your math class, a boy you knew from Forensics club and a few others you hadn't spent that much time with. Stumbling down the street to a nearby restaurant, you meet many other classmates. You get situated at a table and you share embarrassing memories from high school.

"Jisoo, do you remember when you got that love letter from Sungkwan and you went around telling-" One of the guys at your table started before Jisoo interrupted.

"Stop! I've never been so embarrassed in my life!" She laughed as she reached across the table to give him a little smack on the cheek. You look over to Jungkook who's staring out into the air, ignoring the constant calls from his father.

You take his hand under the table and you stroke his knuckles with your thumb. His shoulders fall down a little from their tense position when you touch him.

The weird feeling gets you again.

You know that Jungkook doesn't share as many fond memories from school as the rest of you around the table do, but you try your best to include him in the conversations when you can.

"Can we go outside?" Jungkook requests. "I have a memory I want to share." You look at him with a questioning look but you oblige and follow him outside.

You're standing outside the restaurant, feeling the summer breeze blow through your hair and your dress billowed to the point where it looked like a fairytale gown.

He gulps. He has always thought you were the prettiest girl in the world, but standing in front of him now, you looked angelic. He silently thanked the universe with blessing him with your presence. That he had gotten the opportunity to touch you and to feel you like he had.

"Y/N. I want to share a fond memory of mine that involved you, many years back." He spoke so formally you almost laughed at him, but you controlled yourself and nodded along. "The year I turned eleven, I invited the whole class to my birthday party. I paced around the floor as the clock ticked past six and no one had showed." He pauses and looks at you.

"I had given up all hope that anyone was gonna show, until you knocked on the door with a birthday card. You were the only person that showed that night and I've never forgotten about it." He sighed and his chest heaved for air.

"I hope you don't think it's weird but I keep the card on my nightstand." He admits ashamedly.

You don´t say anything, you just pull him in for a hug. The two of you stay like that for a while before you go back inside. It's seven pm when you go back inside and your heart feels heavy when you see the time on your phone.

The conversation goes on but you're so deep in your thought that you don't participate. It's hitting you real hard. Jungkook nudges you and shows you his phone with a bus schedule on it. It leaves from the bus stop outside the restaurant in eight minutes. You start saying your goodbyes to everyone at your table before you walk outside.

It´s silent as you're waiting for the bus, silent when you're sitting on the bus to the train station and it's silent when you get off.

"Platform seventeen..." He mumbles to himself and points you both to the right. You could see the sign with the little seventeen on it from afar but you so desperately want to point him in the other direction. Make him miss the train so he has some extra time to think about leaving.

a/n: so sorry for interrupting but if u want u can read the next part listening to the song I listened to while writing (taking pictures of you - the kooks)

He grabs your wrist and leads the way when you hesitate. Platform seventeen is right in front of you now, and the train is already there. He's looking you straight in the eyes, dressed in a suit and hair done all neatly you swore you could pass out.

You knew it was over although it never really started. All you did was spend fourteen days together, moving extremely quickly forward from strangers to being in bed together. You liked those fourteen days, you loved those fourteen days and you hated those fourteen days.

"I have to go." His lips quivered and your eyes stung with tears prickling in your eyes. There came the weird feeling again. This time, it didn't creep up on you, it hit you like a wave hits you at the beach, the type that makes you lose your balance and swallow a whole lot of water, struggling to get a breath of air. The feeling was unfamiliar to you and it felt uncomfortable.

"I really liked these fourteen days." You smiled genuinely through your tears. He pulled you in for another hug, less stiff than the ones before. It felt good to hug him, to get that last inhale of his cologne and the scent of his shampoo.

"Me too. I loved them." He spoke into your hair as he took in your scent for the last time in a while as well. "Visit me, please Y/N."

"Of course. I´ll come toward the end of the summer." You pulled away from the embrace to look him in the eyes. Before you knew it, you were kissing. The conductor yelled out that the train was leaving and he was the one to pull away this time. You took his hand and as he walked away his hand slipped away from yours.

He stepped on the train and you saw him through the window, never losing eye contact. You stood still on the platform as you were reduced to tears. The dark mascara that was running down your cheeks were the perfect contrast to the gorgeous white dress you were wearing. His denim jacket draped over your shoulders and your strappy baby pink heels in your left hand.

You were straight out of a movie.

As the train started moving, the feeling grew stronger as it finally hit you. You knew what you were feeling, and you had been denying it for too long.

It was love.

You were in love with Jeon Jungkook and he was leaving.

a/n: honestly that's the end but if u want to read a sneak peek of part 2 then scroll down a little!! join the taglist here if u want to be tagged in part 2.

The Epilogue

Day 1140

It was late at night and your friends had dragged you out of your apartment to go to some stupid club that had just opened in Gangnam. You weren't friends with any of your old friends anymore, just Taehyung.

You and Taehyung could be considered more than friends but less than lovers. It was complicated and not exclusive so you thought that you might as well find someone to spend the night with. He was sleeping with other women, so you felt like you should as well.

The music was blasting way too loud from the speakers and it was awfully crowded on the dance floor. You finally made your way to the ambient bar that was on the quieter side. Club standard quiet, of course. You ordered a gin and tonic to loosen up and have some fun.

The first year of university, you spent everyday partying and bringing new guys back to the apartment you shared with your best friend Hayoon. She eventually grew tired of it and so did you. You spent the second year dating, meeting new guys from Tinder or agreeing to blind dates that Hayoon arranged, and that didn't work out either.

By the time you started your third year you settled down with being Taehyung´s something. Sometimes, your mind would drift back to what you felt for Jungkook. You hadn't seen him in 3 years and you never visited him in Busan, but what you felt when you stood on platform seventeen is a feeling you'll never forget.

You cancelled your visit to Busan in the summer and promised to visit for fall break. By the time fall break came around, he wasn't picking up your calls. You kept calling for a few weeks and in anger and spite you blocked his number and never reached out again.

You asked the bartender for a straw just so you could stir the ice cubes around. Boredom washed over you after a while, so you moved seats to sit closer to the one window that wasn't shaded black. You saw the busy streets, girls with wobbly knees and high heels who held on to their boyfriends for support.

You were scouting the streets for something interesting to let your tired eyes focus on. Just like fate, like it was written in the stars, he was there. Jungkook was there. Rubbing your eyes and closing them for a few seconds didn't make him go away. You got off the barstool and picked up your bag, ready to rush out into the street.

You didn't know what to say or how to approach him, but you had to do something. Maybe take his hand and lead him away, let him say the first sentence and really let his voice soak in. Let his words surround you and his hands touch you.

You walked as fast as you could out the door in your own high heels. You were like those couples, he was missing the girl in high heels and you were missing the boy to support yourself on. You stood frozen on the sidewalk as he stood across the road from you. A girl leapt into his arms, dark raven curls bouncing as he caught her and pulled her in for a warm embrace.

Only now did you take your time to process how Jungkook looked. He was buff and muscular with a tattoo sleeve. Only in a t-shirt at night, his arms were free from any bruising. You were smiling like an idiot until you snapped back to reality and realised that he was holding someone else.

She kissed him,

and he kissed her.

fin.

(for now)

part 2 taglist

[magic-is-something-we-create]

Writeblr Re(rere)intro that's a year late!

Hi! I'm Pax, and I write Big Books that keep getting darker and darker in subject matter 🎉🎉

Basics about me:

he/him or they/them, Mid 20s

Favorite genres: Fantasy, SciFi, Horror, Mystery

Favorite authors: N. K. Jemisin, Tamsyn Muir, Brandon Sanderson, Pierce Brown, Samantha Shannon

Other things I do: Digital art (including commissions!), Twitch streams (usually art or writing sprints, occasionally video games), digital art assets and fonts (PWYW on Ko-Fi!)

Basics about my WIPs:

THE MILLENNIUM SAGA

High fantasy/Steampunk epic, 8 books planned. Book one: Firebreathers (160k words; ~700 pages) Book two: Echoseers (148k words; ~600 pages) Book three: Goddess-Touched (15k as of posting; 3rd attempt at drafting) First person, Multi POV What starts as a simple rebellion against their local Citylord becomes a flight - and fight - for their lives, as Ember Timber, their family, and their newfound friends are forced to flee overseas from the vengeful general who will stop at nothing to earn her Eternal King's favor, and will in fact relish hunting her own son and grandchildren for sport. But along the way, the crew learns that the Eternal King's immortality was not granted in return for his success as the Chosen One long ago, as they have always been told - and the sacrifice for such a thing is not only paid dearly in blood, but on its way to being repeated.

WHISPERS

Dark fantasy Noir. Currently with beta readers. 172k words; ~750 pages. First person, Dual POV. Set in the same world as Millennium Saga, ~5 years after the series concludes. Marika Swiftfoot owes her life to the Shadow of Fowden, the sorceress leader of a terroristic crime syndicate based in the north pole. When the man she once loved finally comes to collect on that life debt ten years later, she plans to kill him the moment it's safe. Too soon, after all, and everyone else she's ever loved will join him beyond the Veil. But hate isn't the only feeling that lingers between them, and when they're offered another way out of their debts, the lives of a few innocents looks like a bargain compared to the life of cruelty ahead of them. Lorelei has been hunting the Shadow for twenty years, and looking for the sister who disappeared for thirty. And here, names are legacies: she wants to earn Hopebringer before her legs give out for good, to erase the stain her father's name has left with Vowbreaker. And for that, she sees one way forward: she must never break her vows, no matter how small. The Shadow must die, and the Whispers with her. Her sister must be found, even if all that's left to find is a story. She must find answers for every case she takes on, even if she doesn't know so much as the name of the man who's gone missing.

THE LOST

Space opera webcomic. First scene fully illustrated; will release once the first chapter is complete, a week after Patrons receive the final scene. In the far reaches of space, the term "Media Empire" is quite literal; the Watchers have extended their influence throughout their galaxy filament with the help of their beloved Coliseum, and the Champion therein. After all, having a shapeshifter capable of replicating anything leads to some gruesome, spectacular fights, made all the more heartrending when they are the last of their kind, trapped in the ship molded from their kin's corpse. But while the Watchers have total control over what happens in the pit, they cannot predict the audience. And they certainly cannot predict the malfunctioning psychic implant of an assassin in the front row, and the loss of both opponents and a long-time prisoner of war to the escape.

I also post art of all of these semi-regularly, including in-progress stuff, as well as excerpts and rambling braindumps!! I'm also a huge worldbuilding nerd, so if you ever want to learn more about the worlds I'm writing, don't be afraid to ask!! I love talking about them :D

Boosts are appreciated <3 tell me about your own WIPs in the tags/replies/wherever!! I love learning about what people are working on!

[eaglefairy]

Why I love XC2

I know that I complain...often...about xenoblade 2. I promise that I really do like this game! Believe me, if I didn't love it I wouldn't be complaining, I just wouldn't be thinking about it. Anyway, an incomplete list of why I love this game:

The presentation! This game is gorgeous and has some areas that can just take your breath away. Uraya is one of my all-time favorite areas in any video game, and I just had to sit back in awe the first time I saw the petal rain there. Xc2 also knocks it out of the park when it's going for aesthetics that aren't jaw-dropping beauty; the environmental storytelling in Mor Ardain is top-notch, Temperantia truly looks and feels like a blighted wasteland, and there is nothing I could say about the Land of Morytha that hasn't already been said. Just amazing all around.

The music! Literally on the night I began writing this post my roommate and I played the end of Torna and they use the music from the Land of Morytha for the inside of Torna which is just. ow? The music is all beautiful, for one, and they absolutely nail whatever mood they're going for at the moment.

The characters! The cast is truly unique, in my opinion. Out of all the xenoblade games, it's absolutely the character concepts from 2 that stick with me the most. None of them are generic or cliche, everyone has something new or fresh to appreciate once you dig into them. This post is already long enough but for just the highlights: - I must shout out Rex for maturing, becoming more worldly, and going through an arc learning about the horrors and despair you'll find in the world without ever letting go of optimism that things can be better. A lesser character might end the story by becoming jaded as a substitute for maturity or begin the story jaded and have to be proven wrong about the world, but he just truly believes in goodness the whole way through! - Jin and Malos have one of my favorite relationship dynamics of all time. No one is doing it like them. Jin acts on his desire to destroy the world because Malos found him and gave him something to live for beyond keeping Lora's memory alive. Malos's desire to destroy the world is validated by Jin and the rest of Torna--people who would not be there if Malos hadn't inspired Jin! They're an ouroboros of destructive codependency and I love them for it. - Addam. The way he's built up as this incredible legendary hero in the main game and then you play Torna and he's just a man trying his best to do what's being asked of him. Probably the first time I've seen humility as a fatal flaw done well (done at all?). He never wanted Mythra's power, doesn't want to be king, and that in the end is what undoes him and his entire country. And then the truth of his tragedy and loss is papered over by people who don't care, who just want their story of a savior, and he's remembered forever as something he never wanted to be. Deliciously tragic!

The writing! This one might come as a surprise if you've seen my complaining before, but I'm being 100% serious here: there are elements of the writing (especially in the latter half) that I think are extremely well done. It embraces its themes without yelling them at the player outright. It presents murky situations and asks the player to engage with it honestly and think critically as you experience the story. It's very subtle storytelling that actually requires effort from the player to experience to its fullest, and I've just got to give it props for demanding trust from the player

The setting! The Cloud Sea has 100% grabbed me as a worldbuilding concept and never let go. (Could also be blamed on Skyward Sword, my first single-player video game.) I also love the Titan-Blade life cycle as a concept. This would absolutely come off strangely without context, but it reminds me of like bugs and plants and anything with a non-mammalian reproductive cycle. That's a good thing! I'm a biology nerd, these are all compliments!

Edit: I've decided this is the collective's xc2 positivity post now. Reblog and add your own favorite things about this game! Whether it's something already mentioned in this post or something else, let's get some positivity flowing!

[https-dollnini]

ᴢʙ1 ᴀꜱ ꜱᴀɴʀɪᴏ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ

Summary: My thoughts on what sanrio characters zb1 would be based off of their personality

Author Note: Was feeling a little silly and thought this was a good idea (I'm also a fat sanrio fan so this is very self indulgent)

ᴋɪᴍ ᴊɪᴡᴏᴏɴɢ ᴀꜱ ᴋᴜʀᴏᴍɪ

both of them look tough on the outside but are secretly sweet on the inside

defo people that pretend they listen to hard rock and then cry themselves to sleep with a ballad instead

the most misunderstood :(

but that means their also the ones to always include people and would rather die than make someone feel left out

i feel like the reason why i felt like jiwoong and kuromi matched the most in my head is because of how enigmatic and mysterious their personalities are made out to be

but trust that my man is a true softie at heart

ᴢʜᴀɴɢ ʜᴀᴏ ᴀꜱ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇʟᴏᴅʏ

do you see how coquette this man is

this paring is literally why i made this whole post

defo see my melody as a kind and gentle person

with hao as mother, everything in my head just clicked

the most calm and collected out of all of zb1, but that's probably just because he's an introvert in a room full of extroverts

also think that they both have such a strong liking for cute and pink things

mans literally said his favorite colour is pink

this pairing can not be any more perfect than it already is

ꜱᴜɴɢ ʜᴀɴʙɪɴ ᴀꜱ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋɪᴛᴛʏ

you can not convince me that hanbin isn't main character coded

this is his world and we're just living in it

both of them have so many friends its insane, and are defo more on the talkative side

also feel like both of them are very dramatic

like have you seen this man every single time something mildly suprising happens

hes shocked to the core, on the floor, disgusted, making the weirdest facial expressions known to man

ALSO LOOK AT HOW CUTE BOTH OF THEM ARE

i rest my case

ꜱᴇᴏᴋ ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴡ ᴀꜱ ᴘᴏᴍᴘᴏᴍᴘᴜʀɪɴ

the embodiment of a puppy

both of them are very playful and energetic in the cutest way possible

like have you seen this mans natural aegyo

they also spread positivity absolutely everywhere they go

like its oozing out of them

i refuse to believe that matthew has ever cried because when you have a smile like that why would you ever do anything other than show it off????

can you tell i like his smile...

ᴋɪᴍ ᴛᴀᴇʀᴀᴇ ᴀꜱ ᴘᴇᴋᴋʟᴇ

i was seriously debating between whether putting him or yujin as cinnamoroll bcs in my head yujin kinda fit pochacco too

BUT then i remembered that pekkle. is. a. duck!?!?!?

that literally solved all my internal conflict

LOOK AT THEMMMMMMMM

both soft hearted to the core

also a little sassy but i think we expected that

i did a little research and apparently pekkle is really good at singing and dancing

literally so many similarities

matching them together is a canon moment in my life

ꜱʜᴇɴ Qᴜᴀɴʀᴜɪ ᴀꜱ ᴄʜᴏᴄᴏᴄᴀᴛ

honestly this is less about personality and more about appearance

chococat being a black cat is so perfect that i had absolutely no choice but to give it to ricky

AND YOU SEE THAT STRAWBERRY PHONE CASE IN THE PICTURE?!?!?

as a strawberry enthusiast i think that ricky would approve

moving on, i think he's a playful and funny character

defo looks cold at first but once you warm up to him you see how he pays attention to the little details

lovelicky fr

ᴋɪᴍ ɢʏᴜᴠɪɴ ᴀꜱ ᴋᴇʀᴏᴘᴘɪ

look at this man and tell me he's not keroppi coded

sososososo cheerful and bright

he's literally one of he main mood makers of the group

also very mischievous too

i mean look at him teasing ricky every 3 seconds or annoying yujin with his love

and maybe this is the inner delulu speaking but i also think he actually looks like keroppi?!?!?

someone pls agree with me or ill cry no i really will

ᴘᴀʀᴋ ɢᴜɴᴡᴏᴏᴋ ᴀꜱ ᴛᴜxᴇᴅᴏ ꜱᴀᴍ

ik this is kind of a weird one

but you need to understand the vision

i feel like theyre both HUGE nerds (in the best way possible)

like you know how gunwook always sprouts random facts, or goes into a rant about information that no normal person would know???

yeah. thats what i mean.

i also feel like they're both really laid back people that love to enjoy the moment they're in to the fullest

i will continue pushing this agenda until everyone is brainwashed to agree with me

ʜᴀɴ ʏᴜᴊɪɴ ᴀꜱ ᴄɪɴɴᴀᴍᴏʀᴏʟʟ

we all saw this coming

so baby

thats all i have to say

literally just shy little cuties trying to make their way through life the best they can

once they warm up to you though...

they genuinely can't shut up

will say the weirdest things at the weirdest times for absolutely no reason

but they get a free pass because LOOK AT THEM OML IM GONNA DIE

the way i can see yujin using the excuse "i'm just a boy"

he is, just a shy, cute, menace of a kid

[ivebeencursedbygays]

Kai: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany! 

Kai, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Zane: Kai, you can do anything! 

Kai: Anything? 

Zane: Anything! 

Kai, holding a torch: ANYTHING?!?! 

Zane: Wait, not that!

Cole: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? 

Nya: Wait, what’s the difference? 

Cole: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Kai: Time sensitive question how flirt boy. 

Pixal: Throw rocks at he. 

Cole: Hot Dogs. 

Morro: Kill him. 

Kai: Thanks guys.

Nya: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

Pixal: You use emojis like a straight person. 

Kai: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Kai: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? 

Jay: Peonies, why? 

Kai: 

Jay: Were you going to get me flowers? 

Kai: 

Jay: 

Kai: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Jay: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff. 

Nya: Oh, that was all real. 

Jay: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?! 

Nya: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

*The gang is about to do something dangerous* 

Cole: Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk? 

Kai: Go ahead. 

Cole: Be careful. 

Cole: Don’t die. 

Pixal: *Holds back a laugh* 

Kai: Great. We’re all bloody inspired.

Jay: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT! 

Cole: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone. 

Jay: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch? 

Cole: Somehow that's worse.

Kai: I can’t believe my birth certificate says F... 

Kai: ...How did I fail being born?

Cole: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Zane! 

Zane: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Pixal: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon. 

Pixal: It's me.

Cole, in a room with Jay, Kai, and Nya: It’s calm in here. 

Cole: It scares me…

Nya: Fight me! 

Kai, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

Zane: Nya got into a fight. 

Kai: That’s bad. 

Kai: 

Kai: Did she win?

Cole: Jay, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. 

Jay: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Kai: Is that a gun?! 

Jay: It's not what it looks like! 

Kai: It looks like a gun! 

Jay: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but in my defense, it doesn't have anymore bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore. 

Kai: ...ANYMORE?!

Kai, to the Squad: I’d die for you. 

Jay: Then perish. 

Pixal: You will. 

Nya: Please don’t. 

Cole: Cool. 

Zane: I’d die for you first.

Nya: If you got arrested what would be the charges? 

Jay: Theft. 

Zane: Disturbing the peace. 

Cole: Aggravated assault. 

Kai: Arson. 

Pixal: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Nya: You know what I asked Santa for Christmas this year? 

Jay: If you say me, I swear I’ll— 

Nya: You? What? No, I asked him for that cool Ninjago Lego set we saw in Target!

Cole, texting Zane: Zane there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it? 

Cole: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry 

Cole: Zane 

Cole: Zane 

Zane: Zane is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

Pixal: A sprite is anything not static. 

Jay: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. 

Cole: A sprite is a fucking soda. 

Cole: You god damn geekass bastards.

Kai: *sighs* I have no friends... 

Jay: 

Jay: *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

Zane: *tapping fingers on table* 

Cole: *taps fingers back furiously* 

Jay: …What’s going on? 

Pixal: Morse code. They’re talking. 

Zane: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - 

Cole: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Jay: *finds half a watermelon at Whole Foods* 

Jay, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!

Kai: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one. 

Nya: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Kai, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— 

Zane: A family. 

Cole: A better love life. 

Nya: Mental stability. 

Pixal: *clueless* Bagels?

Zane: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Jay: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. 

Kai: 

Jay: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? 

Kai: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

Nya: You think that’s cringe? Moms around the world wait 9 months just to end up naming their kid Jay. 

Jay: Hey, fuck you.

Jay: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Pixal: Why is Kai crying? 

Zane: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- 

Kai: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! 

Pixal: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say- 

Kai: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! 

Pixal: NO, NOT THAT!

Zane: Hey, what have you two been up to? 

Nya: We were helping Kai write his vows, but he kicked us out because Cole was making inappropriate suggestions. 

Cole: How is “Jay, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

[elzphine]

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ About me! ⭑.ᐟ

This post IS LONGGGG Hi I'm Ella, this page is mainly for me to rant and talk about things I like. Below is more about me as a person and my interests, I do like talking about my personal life to a degree without giving much information out just so you know. Ella isn't my real name either it's a nickname I go by on some of my socials.

Name: Ella

Age: I don't like going into specifics, but I do follow dnf's that restrict certain ages according to my actual age, just keep creepy things to yourself! <3

Just so you know I do tend to overshare on my posts, I try keeping an open mind most times, due to my personality and the way I was brought up I am relatively mean when talking about others even if I don't exactly mean to be. I don't necessarily trash talk people in specific but I tend to be overly honest with people which causes feelings to get hurt etc, etc. I speak what I perceive to be the truth so I lack friends irl..

Personality: It's changed almost every time I took the MBTI test, probably because I took it on 16p.. But I also self typed too and looked into how people who actually are the MBTI I call myself act and respond as a person and compared it with myself I so I guess it's self typing? I don't know. But INTJ is what I find most relatable to myself and how I perceive the world and interact with people. Not too sure of an enneagram I haven't found a free test for that yet.

Interests: Ani-manga, Horror genre things, JJK, PMM, Death note, tbhk, danganronpa. Drawing, Character design, Fanfic reading or writing, world building, character writing, Reality shifting, japanese folklore, I love using folklore when creating characters it is so much fun to interpret and create a design incorporating elements from history, or just irl things in general. I like hazbin hotel, don't come for me I hate the humor in it but I love the idea of the show being an interpretation of heaven and hell and the society in it. Harry potter kind of not really.. Never was much into it. give anime reccomendations pls I need more things to watch!!

Music taste: ANYTHING LITERALLY ANYTHING IM IN THE MOOD FOR I WAS ABLE TO LISTEN TO A 6 MINUTE SONG ABOUT CORNDOGS PERFECTLY FINE IDK HOW. I have bad hyperfixations when I comes to music genres so these are my tops, Emo claimed bands, female manipulator music, pop punk and some hardcore bands, I don't have any at the top of my head, but I was able to listen to black metal, death metal, parody songs the electro swing remix was fire! I can get down to taylor swift and baby shark, I can listen to drill, rap, phonk, songs in spanish or even swedish. country, folk idc. My playlists due to my recent revamp, Are more fixated on ariana grande, sabrina carpenter, mitski, lana, and very few taylor swift, I like alternative music too, I know I'm forgetting so many different genres but those were what I could list off best so keep that in mind. early 2000s-2016 music is top tier fyi. though frank Sinatra is a G oms.

Other random things: I'm all for self improvement and learning more about myself and other topics if I ever magically start liking something you know about by all means info dump, My fav seasons are fall and winter. I'm a winter baby <3 I prefer "cunty" music made by women rather than gay men or trans women (Love y'all too dw.) It just feels more authentic to me if you know what I mean, I can't properly like describe it for some reason but just trust me it's not because I hate that group of people. (I hate everyone equally !!!) I'm a medical NERD, my favorite medical dramas are HOUSE!!! HOUSE I LOVE YOU HOUSE PLS ADOPT ME AND TEACH ME EVERYTHING HE'S THE ICON PLEASE PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE. He's funny and I love his way of thinking. (I just realized we have the same personality type live laugh love that!!) My personality does kind of differ online due to the character limits on tumblr, because if it were up to me every one of these sections would have 5 different paragraphs per thing thank you. I'm an honors student idk if thats shocking to anyone but yea. This also probably will be more shitposting based just random takes from my perspective like reviews on starbucks drinks and just random events. the format is probably going to be more like, diary like idk? its just me posting my thoughts and leaving it out for you all more anonymously if ykwim? I was bullied all of my elementary years over a single unsanitary habit I had. (Picking my nose, like everyone made a point to leave me out due to this. EVERYONE collectively even when i stopped it still happened.) I'm insanely delusional not in a cute or quirky way like "omg he likes me guys" like no, I convinced myself for a month that I had schizophrenia even though I had 0 symptoms or auditory hallucinations or visual hallucinations. I did constant research and found myself on schizophrenia tiktok. Like dawg is trippin fr fr, overthinking and analyzing every little thing is my favorite hobby, so is daydreaming!! One time during a finance class I had I daydreamed that I was a single mom who lived a walking distance from the beach and I had the job i'm going for in the medical field. I loved that daydream so much, would've preferred to have a partner ngl.

Thanks so much for reading, apologies for it being so long my mind is so rampant and i have so much to say and so much input to give that it kind of gets hard to put it in simple sentences. If you're similar to me please follow and moot me or wtv yall do on tumblr I love people with similar mindsets and aspirations it makes me wanna do better in order to keep up.

[chloedanvers13]

Y’know, what? No time like the present…

First and foremost, Happy Pride!!! 🧡🤍🩷

Second, I suppose a more-proper introduction is in order…

Hi! My name’s Chloe! (I suppose the username tipped you off to that, but I digress.) I am a 30-something trans-femme demi-sapphic woman living, begrudgingly, in the American MidWest.

I am a massive nerd (pop-culture, DC Comics, Music, among others), and well… as you can see also, my chosen last-name is Danvers… so I’m not even gonna lie when I say that my personal inspiration for the kind of person I want to be is Kara (Zor-El) Danvers herself. [Doesn’t hurt that I dumb-lucked into finding my personal Cat Grant… tis the silver-est of linings.💜☀️]

I am a fledgling writer, though I have largely been in a 10ish year slump of writers block… currently trying to claw my way out of it starting with what has been my brain’s salvation these last few years: fan-fiction.

And in that vein, I figure, how better to get to know me, than to talk about my favorite ships, and why they resonate with me. So, let’s do this. :)

Bechloe: My first ship, even though I didn’t realize it at first. I’ve come a long way as an individual, so much so I watched Pitch Perfect the first time and saw 0 sapphic subtext between Beca and Chloe. (That is VERY much not that case now, I assure you. Lolz) So, why them? I’m a sucker for a grumpy/sunshine dynamic (we will revisit this later, I assure you. Lolz) between two women, and especially watching the sunshine warm up the grump a little. ❤️

Also doesn’t hurt this ship’s chances that this Chloe is THE Chloe that my name comes from… aspirationally, that kind of girl is inside me, but life has made me a bit more of a Beca, if that makes sense. Lolz

SuperCat: I could go on for days about them. Once again, Grumpy/ Sunshine, and I mean, I am literally a Danvers, so… lolz. Suffice it to say, they are a pair put on my radar by ‘My’ Cat…. And I have not shut up about them ever since. Seriously, the fact my partner still encourages it is a Raosend. Lolz I won’t go into much more detail, because my writing will do that for them, in spades.. whether it’s SuperCat, or AstraCat…. (No, not Aunt Astra… but consider this a tease for my SG-rewrite. ;) )

Chenrich: “Life is Strange: True Colors” is my favorite game, of all time. I’ve platinumed it, and I’m working on the perameters of a playthrough that gives me different challenges. But all that being said, when I see Steph and got her vibe, I burst out in a laugh and called it my “discount Beca Mitchell dating simulator”.. and I was not disappointed. ❤️ (btw, my canon ending? Alex and Steph stay in Haven Springs, and get the Black Lantern and turn it into a nerd bar… maybe one day I’ll write it. Who knows? Lolz)

Avalance: this is my semi-unexpected one… my brain is almost always in National City.. but these two, they grew on me, so hard. It doesn’t hurt that my partner broke my brain by telling me she saw a lot of Sara in me… and it took me years to finally see it too. (Though I will always, shamelessly, be a Kara… lolz) Co-Captains for life, babe. 💜☀️

Alright, that just may be enough to prolly not tell you all that much. But I’m an open book! And my asks are actually open now. Lolz

Alright, one more random thing, because why not? So… when I world build, I sometimes go to weird tangents… like, I may not have fleshed-out plot-lines… but I have 3 seasons of villian progression, and I’ve created the ice cream flavor made for her by a grateful National Citizen… (it’s “Swirl From The Stars”.. Fic is a lifesaver, swear to Rao. ☀️)

Alright, I’ve rambled on enough. I hope this finds all of you well, and once again, today and every single day ever…. Happy Pride!! 🧡🤍🩷

El Mayarah,

Chlo. 💜☀️

[donnerpartyofone]

I had a dream that I had gotten heavily into a (fictional) indie rock band with a lot of thoughtful, poignant lyrics about life and relationships and stuff. I was telling people, "I don't usually listen to anything like this, but this is so good, it's my new favorite thing!" In reality I haven't listened to anything like that in years.

I started removing myself from poignant, thoughtful music about life and relationships and stuff during and after my Very Abusive Relationship, which semi-permanently alienated me from most forms of sentimental, romantic media--ESPECIALLY media that romanticizes destructive obsessions and shitty behavior, which is practically all media as you may have immediately realized. That stuff used to be fun before I actually lived through it and realized that it's always about infantile egomania and that I actually hate people who have to hurt others in order to feel like they have the slightest shred of efficacy/value/relevance in their own narrow little lives (which is a surprising number of people btw). The /bad romance/ thing seems so monolithic, like the biggest most desirable thing in the world, until you get right up close with your nose to it and you realize it's made out of particle board and vinyl siding and it has to be that big to cast an obscuring shadow over a whole lot of adult babies (sorry, adult baby community, I actually don't mean you) who are hoping you won't notice how spineless and pathetic they are. Spending a few years with someone who made it his business to scare the shit out of me and try to ruin my life, fairly publicly, had the one-two punch of making me feel like I simply wasn't good enough to be in one of those dark and brooding romances because otherwise why would he try to convince me I was nothing--and conversely, leaving me totally disillusioned about dark and brooding romances because I had been up close and seen how the sausage was made and it's not remotely as exotic and delicious as people try to tell you it is. It's just off-brand baby food, left on the shelf long past its expiry.

Right after that was over another factor pulled me away from poignant, thoughtful music about life and relationships and stuff, which was working in an open-plan office next to the tech guy pool. Us sensitive, artistic nerds in the production department had a pretty high-stress job that required constant focus, and we were pretty much only ever noticed by the overlords if one of us screwed something up; we were constantly being monitored not just for poor performance, but for potential political incorrectness or any little thing that could be construed as an HR problem--and in the meantime, the tech guys were literally screaming misogynistic jokes and racial slurs and throwing shit at each other, sometimes hitting us or our computers, but the executives had this hypnosis telling them that tech guys are Valuable so everything they do is OK forever. One of my main coping mechanisms was to get heavily into metal and harsh noise: anything with a cathartically brutal wall-of-sound quality and no discernible lyrics to speak of, that prevented me from having to hear anyone around me or even think about other people and their emotions. This kind of music became a huge passion for me, so in a way it was a net positive experience.

Nowadays I don't have a lot of time for music, which seems crazy even to me, like I don't want to be one of those sociopaths who say they don't listen to music! I just have to spend a LOT of time watching movies, when I have time for A/V entertainment, and I don't drive or have a commute anymore, so that's pretty limiting. When I do have time for music, it's a weird 7-10 split of trashy hype dance music like Atari Teenage Riot or Rob Zombie (or other things I'm too embarrassed to mention atm) to burn off my anxiety and give me a temporary ego boost that I can feel ashamed of later, and on the other hand, really heady, long ambient or experimental compositions, preferably with no vox. I think I'd like to get more into jazz and classical music and I occasionally go down a youtube rabbit hole that I really enjoy, but not much sticks because it turns into information overload and I get distracted.

Sometimes for whatever neurotic reason I have this allergic reaction to our collective preciousness about Human Drama, like why don't we have anything better to think about? There's some Herzog quote, I won't know how to find it, where he wonders why people always make movies about interpersonal problems, why not the drama of insect life, of cellular activities, of geological metamorphosis? And I really feel that way, often. But for some reason I am now dreaming that I've found some thoughtful, poignant indie rock band with lyrics about life and relationships and stuff that I cannot get enough of and I'm telling the world. I wonder what shifted to make me imagine that.

[vanweezer]

tagged by @longtimelie - 13 songs that have been on my mind recently and some blurbs because i love 2 run my dang mouth

black - pearl jam ; one of those songs where i know if i listen to it i gotta have a good cry. just a nice long cry. because holy fuck

all out life - slipknot ; i have mostly been thinking about this one because im learning it on bass by ear and it is so DIFFICULT to hear the bass on that track ....vman if you are out there tell these nerds to turn you up i am suffering out here. plz youre my only hope

r/pe me - nirvana ; naughty title i know but it is one of my favorite nirvana songs and i can't Not put it on repeat every now and then and i can't Not stare at a wall for 8 hours afterwards its about the routine of things

lies - korn ; ngl the main reason i think about this song as much as i do is because i wanna learn how to do the vocal work in this sooo bad SOOO bad i have a pretty good foundation for this typa screamin (i just be making noises that is me i am the noise maker) but i wanna get BETTER at it so i can DO THIS because WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

tornado of souls - megadeth ; other than the fact that i think dave mustaine is probably the cuntiest old man alive? no words. literal party song. good times all around

nothing else matters - metallica ; this was one of my first metallica songs i listened to back in middle school and for some reason for Some Reason it has found its way back to me in small bursts...could be me finding familiarity with it as i learn more about the band but oughh mygod!!!!!!nothing else matters!!!!

new slang - the shins ; early signs of my scrubs rewatching relapse is when i got this thing blasting ... there's no hope for me after that you just gotta understand

given up - linkin park ; watchin video clips of this song being done live has severed my jaw from my skull and permanently stapled it to the floor theres no fucking way no fucking WAY it can sound that good. houly shide

what love? - idkhow ; always gotta show love for what love like honestly? if we're talking instant pick me up songs? songs that fuck silly nasty crazy for no reason? instant bump instant replay all day every freakin day. the music video was so beautiful and the wait was so WORTH IT in this house we love what love

for all the cows - foo fighters ; for SOME reason i always find myself stimming along to this song or humming it or tapping it during work it's just s'darn catchy...whole album is s'darn catchy! what gives!!!!!!!!

good god - korn ; this is quite literally me every single day at work i am not even kidding not even in the slightest. probably not the best for my hearing that i have been rotating this album in my mind for a good two and a halfish months but yeah. crazy how they wrote a whole song about me at work

liberate - slipknot ; this song makes me feel a certain way 🚶 a quite silly and rambunctious typa way

darkness - rage against the machine ; it's the curse of the crow soundtrack i fear. aka one of the greatest movie soundtracks of all time. to me. can't imagine a world where i would ever skip this beauty and i will not ever BE part of a world where i ever skip this song as it comes on. no way no how

tagging @half-doomed & @sinclarsupremacy

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships how it would be like dating my ocs (hehe)

Only like.. the story im writing and everything

Marianne

She'd be like the best gf ever.

Elizabeth tells u Marianne's deepest darkest secrets

Slight nsfw but if u kiss her bare back u go straight under the sheets idc idc

WOULD listen to you rant about literally anything. Rant about frogs and shit and it's better than anything she's ever heard her entire life.

She's a workaholic bc she's the heiress, so when she knows she can't spend time with you she writes you a handwritten letter instead.

Lets you proofread what she writes

I feel like she's both a morning bird and a night owl, so like when you wake up she'll be right there excited to hold you and at night, if you beg her to read one of her works, like-- pleaaaseee with a cherry on top, she does it until u fall asleep.

She likes to tease u. It's her way of showing u how comfortable she is.

She spoils you to death. If you asked her for McDonald's she'd buy the company.

Sometimes she judges herself too much, or think what she writes ain't good enough, so you hype her up.

Has the BIGGEST smile when you're around like are you kidding me? You make her the happiest girl in the world.

Lots of aftercare with this woman.

She would write you a poem, a letter, a whole book on why she loves you. Literally.

She's stubborn. When you fight abt something she somehow gets the upper hand most of the time.

She bites when doing the yk what

Secretly very thirsty and vocal (hehe)

She's a sucky cook so if she cooks for you pretend u like it

Elizabeth would yell "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST KISS"

--squeals when you DO kiss.

She's such a boomer. Bear with her if she doesn't even know what "asdfghjkl" means.

In the modern world it's canon she plays candy crush, so it would take up a lot of her time

Gives u back massage

Her love language is words of affirmation.

Hope to god her mom ages out. Pls.

Damian

Has a lot of hyperfixations so if u listen to him rant about them he's a goner

Draws you little butterflies. He can't draw but he can try because he loves u

He would talk to u abt his mom a lot

Scenario: he would be sparring with Jake and as soon as he sees you?? Motivation = 📈📈📈📈

Speaking of Jake he's wondering "HOW THE FUCK DID HE PULL"

Don't be surprised if one day by some miracle he brings home a ferret. He loves ferrets.

You're a writer??? HE WILL analyze your book, or anything you write. He WILL proofread anything you write. He WILL give out honest opinion

The thing is he would lie sometimes. But like, only lie about if he fought a raccoon or something. Like he would lie to u about the secret stash of sweets, or if he threw heart shaped confetti in your room. But get this, he's a bad liar.

If your favorite color is green you have no right to break up with him. He has green eyes.

His love language is gift giving and quality time

A cuddly man. He wants to feel u physically every second of the day

"Hey can u write me something"

Plant nerd. Instant info-dump

Loves people of all body types. Thin? Smash. Plus sized? Smash. Chubby? Smash dear god. He's a lover AND a fighter.

Recommend him a book and he'll read it for you.

He's like a male version of Belle. So, he's academically smart. But emotionally very dumb.

Please don't mind this man being silly and a little childish at times. It's his way of showing he's healing his inner child with you..

Reassurance would never be a problem with him. He'll give you that before u realize you need it.

Severe abandonment issues.

Do you sing? Good luck. He's gonna keep bothering you to sing for him.

Also he's a choir kid.. you might even go for a "Fly Me To The Moon" duet.

HE needs insane amount of reassurance. Give him ALL OF IT.

He has big hands.. i think u know where this is going

"Is this okay?" While doing IT. AGSAGDASJJAKSAAJ

Elizabeth

She braids your hair.

A ball of sunshine, actually. She acts like a teenage girl with a massive crush around u

She needs kisses and you'll give her all of it.

She adores dancing so pls dance with her

Love language is physical touch.

You + her = PDA

She takes commissions from you but instead pay her with a date

She loves strawberries and sometimes you would pick strawberries together

"They listen to u rant--" bitch no. With Elizabeth? You rant TOGETHER.

"I love you more" competitions.

Marianne gives u a locket of Elizabeth

Ava loves you for her actually. You and Elizabeth would go visit the tavern and she would be like "EEEEEEEEEEE"

Cheesiest petnames beware.

Hold her as she tells you about her mommy issues.

"Slay the house boots down houston im deceased" "Liza, what language are you speaking?"

She loves idioms sometimes even no one gets it, and you kinda have to deal with it.

HAND HOLDING IS A MUST

Selene/ Lady May

Shes the most introverted person that has ever introverted. So indoor dates.

Love language is quality time

I feel like there would be more to her character.. so we'll see (free space)

Loves combing your hair

Would dedicate like 10 songs to you and you've just brushed your hand with hers

A hopeless romantic so she aint lettin u go

Family issues. So, her parents do not approve of you

Yest despite her family disapproving, you fight for her.

Only lets you touch her hair

Hates horror movies. She hides her face behind you a lot.

"Darling" is her petname for you.

She plays ukelele and sings to u often

Jake (I'm including him because I love him. Yes. I do. Despite what he pulled in the 2nd chapter. If u can love canon alistar then im allowed to love jake 😔)

Overprotective mf

Never lets u near damian

Pretty toxic lol

Only loves you. Literally. This man loves no one else lmao

Jealous guy

Simp

"Hold me im angry" "why what's wrong?" "Damian beat me at UNO"

You have to rlly empathize with this man. He has mental health issues

Communication issues. *runs from u*

Bad flirt but you love him anyways

You have to put up with his dark humor

Level 2-3 asshole around you, level 10 at everyone.

If you're shorter than him then he wont let u live a single day without letting you know "how the air up here feels like"

Love language is physical touch.

Nerfed Chaz Thurman.

[wanderingnork]

for end of the year book asks: 3 and 14 :)

3: Top five books of the year

Oh damn...that's TOUGH considering how much I read. Let me give it a shot. In no particular order!

Thick as Thieves: #5 in the Queen's Thief series. It's an amazing roadtrip story, full of beautiful invented mythology, wonderful character growth, lovely prose, nuanced worldbuilding, politics politics and more politics, and one of the best all-but-openly-stated romances I've ever read. The local himbo fights a lion barehanded...for really no good goddamn reason. Local nerd spends the entire book trying not to fall in love with said himbo and fails miserably. Mythological figures literally follow these two around. The book recontextualizes all FOUR of the previous books in the series, somehow. Absolutely buckwild and so much fun.

Tongues of Serpents: #6 in the Temeraire series. I really enjoyed the worldbuilding here, and I loved...getting to see the protagonists happy. The previous book was HARD to read, though of the best technical quality in the series so far, so I can't call it my favorite. In this one, we start to see the protagonists' character development come into focus and really inspire them to take meaningful action. The ending is peaceful. The prose is GORGEOUS. The backdrop of international politics is elegantly handled without overrunning the central storyline. Just a lovely read and a breather in a series prone to being very serious and complicated.

Never Home Alone: A nonfiction book discussing the tiny life that lives around us and on us and inside us. It covers the tiny biomes and webs of life that surround us even when we can't see it. From house crickets to viruses, it's a loving examination of things we consider creepy and often overlook. Did you know that your hot water heater more than likely contains bacteria of the same genus that live in hot springs like Yellowstone, because the conditions of a hot water heater so closely resemble those? What I TRULY loved about this book, though, is that it didn't condemn readers or offer hopeless proclamations. I read a lot of ecological nonfiction and those are things I see a lot. This book offered gentle, straightforward, and meaningful suggestions for people who may not have easy access to The Great Outdoors or the resources to take huge action. It encourages closer study of the things that share our homes, opening our windows to invite the outside in, and offering compassion to things that we find creepy--because they're part of our homes and lives and just as important to the health of our planet as the bigger, cuter, easier-to-see life.

Otherlands: This is a beautiful book that takes readers on a journey into deep time. It takes a narrative journey through a variety of pre-human places and times, starting with the plains of Alaska 20,000 years ago and ending in the Ediacaran seas 555 million years ago. It offers a glimpse of many lesser-known places and times around the world. Not just the iconic locations like the Burgess Shale or the Morrison Formation, but places where our understanding might be based on just a few small fossils--like fossil filaments from the Yaman Kasy sulfide deposits in the Ural Mountains of Russia. The author reconstructs an environment of the ancient life around hydrothermal vent deposits laid down 435 million years ago, in the Silurian period. It's a wonderful journey into the past. I could have done with a little more "what can we do to fight climate change" and hope toward the end of the book, but that's a personal quibble.

Empire of Ants: A book about ants and why we should love them. It talks about the unique life cycles of different species, the diversity of ants, the wonderful complexity of their lives. Sheer adoration just shines out of every word in this book. We learn about how entomologists actually study ants, hear anecdotes about collection and study, and what experiments can look like and why we care about them. The author, though, freely admits she just loves ants for the sake of ants. Ever since reading this book, I've felt nothing but affection for the little insects. I find myself looking down more often and studying the ants I see. After learning about how leafcutter ants have an almost janitorial class in their nests to maintain their fungal farms, I--as a janitor by profession--have started calling leafcutter ants my professional colleagues. It's not entirely a joke: their industriousness and care of their colonies genuinely inspires me. That wouldn't have happened without this book.

14: What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

Due to personal events right now, I'm not actively reading any new books. But!!! I've started a reread of the early Legend of Drizzt books, since my love of Forgotten Realms and specifically the Underdark has been reawakened by Baldur's Gate 3, and I'll be reading those through the end of the year. It's not taking in something new; it's reacquainting myself with old and cherished friends. It's been a long time since I read them, and I'm definitely looking with new eyes. I haven't lost any affection for them, but...I can definitely say that my style has outgrown these early books. I could do without some of the weirder aspects of drow society and I can see ways to alter or do away with them *without* destroying the overall plot of the books or Drizzt's character and narrative. But the descriptions of the eerie, monster-filled-yet-wondrous Underdark, the fantastical city of Menzoberranzan, and the marvelous monsters...yeah. Those still hold up and ring true.

Also, I can really see where I got my style writing fight scenes. I have no objections to that. They're good.

[tsuki-sennin]

Yo, what is UP, everybody!? And Happy New Year! The latest DGP season, Divergence, is about to air! What manner of wicked trickery have Ace, Keiwa, and Neon gotten themselves wrapped up in this time? Who are our new friends Lopo and... Nadge-Sparrow?

Comin' at you live from... somewhere, it's Spoilers, I guess...

-Ah, yeah, I have been enjoying this drama, haha

-...pretty sure there was an entire movie that's not gonna be subbed for a while, but such is life.

-Ultimate Superstar Geats, Ukiyo Ace!

-Celebrity Heiress Heroine Na-Go, Neon Kurama!

-Prodigy Quiz Show King Nadge-Sparrow, Daichi Isuzu!

-Fastest Woman in the World Lopo, Sae Ganaha!

-And Keiwa, I guess

-Holy shit, not a single clap hjklhl

-Ahhhhh, Ace's got a past with these guys.

-KEIWA HJKLGHg

-Poor Keiwa-kun.

-It's okay Keiwa-kun! You've got me lighting up for you!

-Oooooh, don't think I didn't notice the changes in the op. "Who is the back stabber" indeed.

-Oh shit, starting out super strong, huh?

-Jamato Time.

-Ooooooh, Neon got comebacks!

-Gotta say new guys, I really like them suits.

-Ah, looks like Lopo's pretty tricky?

-Nadgey too!

-"Good job, everybody! You're all gonna live here instead!"

-"Oh Christ, we have three weirdos in charge of this game in a row."

-Oh my god

-Chiram!

-Fresh veges?

-Camera!

-Oh! We're literally in survivor mode now!

-There's sussies among us!

-I can't believe this is the timeline I currently live in.

-I wonder how the Tsuki-Sennin of the Geiz Revive timeline would be reacting to his time with Shinobi?

-Oh god fucking dammit, they said among us in the subtitles.

-Distrust and backstabbing! Thrills! Chills! Kills!

-Azumaaaa!

-I missed you!

-He's literally a zombie now!

-Archimedel...

-"Ooooooooooh, Keiwa's in love with a girl~!"

-Thank you Sara, very cool.

-No internet. No TV.

-Until Takahashi says otherwise, I'm sticking with my headcanon that they're being broadcast to various Sentai and PreCure worlds. Mainly because Godatz absolutely would put betting pools on these people's lives.

-Nooooo Keiwa-kuuuun!

-"Where the hell did this tent come from!?"

-Ah, Quiz Guy won't let Keiwa in either.

-Aaaaaace

-Aceless.

-"Ace is the impostor and a stream sniping little bitch."

-Oh shit, the execcutive dude.

-Jean! Ace's sponsor!

-Ohhhhhhhh, he knows a lot.

-Old Maid! A favorite of mine.

-Nadgey has done thirty thousand equations in his head.

-"I want all of humanity's knowledge."

-Asking for the Gaia Library, huh?

-"Who's that guy though...?"

-"Just the next Game Master of this show."

-Playing the nepotism card!

-...hate that he's actually right on two counts though.

-There's a sussy baka amidst we.

-Who're we vote kicking?

-Oooooh, Keiwaaaa!

-"Oh let the boy do what he wants. He'll learn."

-So uh... what did you guys do to Mitsume?

-Jamato Municipal High School!

-Heeeeenshin~!

-Let's get sent to the principal's office~!

-Damn, Lopo's awesome.

-I can't believe Toei discovered that women are cool.

-Neeeeeeeerd! Studyin!

-...I can't imagine how horrifying it'd be to be ground up into burger meat and have the creature you spawn traipse around in cosplay and die.

-"Beat up a nerd for free stuff!"

-Oooooooh, there it is! The movie buckle.

-Gigant Blaster!

-That's a huge bitch!

-Of course! Make one! It's that easy!

-Jya?

-Mr. Principal!

-Lobo with the defenestration!

-Even the delinquents respect Principal Soylent!

-Gigant Hammer!

-Holy shit, Ace.

-Gigant Sword!

-Literally God.

-Mission Complete! Yeah!

-Oh?

-No, Keiwaaaaaaa!

-It deliberately smacks him.

-Good job, gamers. Nobody's going home today!

-Oooooh, everybody hates Keiwa except me.

-I don't really see why people'd like Nadge so much. I mean, he isn't super interesting, and if there's one thing I know about people who'd spend all day watching people fight and possibly die in a reality show, it's that they really like to fixate on women.

-"Get up, nerd. You need to be reminded."

-Seikai no da.

-Jesus Christ, this garden gives me nasty feelings.

-Oooooooh., that's a big scary bitch.

-"You're up~!"

-Oh god, the sounds

-Ohhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiit!

-It's the fireman!

-Goutokuji! Kinjo-san!

-If you commit a murder and get away with it, you graduate, gotcha.

-Footbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!

-"I'm NOT the sussy baka, I'm NOT!"

[anxietywriter]

things characters do that make me worship the ground they walk on

my heart literally cannot handle soft comfort characters that deserve the world. like holy shit they have my sword

if they have the capacity for redemption due to being easily manipulated and an easy target after years of being an outcast, having no support system, and misunderstood? especially if they used to be the mastermind until everything went topside

when they do that thing where they lay down next to someone and raise their hand to the stars

when they're so so so close to making it, to completing a big achievement/dream, one that they avidly talked about with such hope in their eyes, only to have it all ripped away

martyrdom,,, you stupid, brave idiot

they're always cracking jokes, trying to make people feel more welcome and comfortable, easing the tension, lightening the mood and they've bonded strongly with others because of that

extreme loyalty, whether to a cause or to a person, big respect for the dedication to their principles, but definitely a high risk/high reward kind of trait

love when characters make a nerd reference, shows their interests and is incredibly endearing, also good conversation starter if anyone else happens to catch it

scenes of them alone, jamming out, air guitar turned microphone as they switch between miming playing and singing. of closing the door and being immensely excited/flustered after scoring a date. moving around in excitement, only to curse as they stub their toe

punching the lights out of a bully. no remorse.

when they laugh it's higher pitched and it's this cute chuckle or cackle or it's entirely unrestrained and it's beautiful and it should be a crime to be that adorable

they're a seemingly innocent character and repeatedly shock everyone by making flirty comments or dirty jokes at the most random times. flirty comments are always directed at movies of the inappropriate genre, ex. sad movies or horror. dirty jokes are always delivered conversationally in monotone

characters that are the 'babysitters' and are always exasperated by the others' shenanigans and they just care so much

they make themselves out to be a hardass and for the most part they are, but when they see someone's really breaking down and having a hard time, they soften up. just for that one time though. until another breakdown happens.

they have a really mundane topic that they will defend with their life. it is the hill they will die on (ex. best music genre, pizza, eggs are good, etc.)

when they excitedly collect things or save things for later (rocks, photos, etc.) whether it's for other people or themselves

seeing characters get a gift earlier and seeing it later when the character brings it out or wears it

that soft look they give to someone they care about, my heart

love any kind of banter or teasing

dramatics, the cape swoosh, speeches while moving, jumping onto tables and chairs for height, grand gestural movements, all of that

they fluster easily because they're not used to niceties, flirting, or being asked out. and my goodness do they deserve better

nervous movements like fiddling with their necklace or hair and jiggling their leg

my favorite thing is when characters can sing and if they're angry, they belt out how they're feeling and that sends me

[clauguadarrama]

Manuscript of the same moon, that was never mine to lose (1/?)

[July 2024 - The Manuscript]

…The only thing that´s left is the manuscript

One last souvenir from my trip to your shores.

Now and then I re-read the manuscript

But the story isn’t mine anymore.

Here I am, once again, doing what I always do with my thrown-out speeches, with a sea of emotions, whose waves are crashing into my deepest thoughts and feelings.

[December 2023 - Enchanted / All Too Well]

The air was cold,

But something about it felt like home somehow.

[…]

Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well

When I first met you, in my life there were a lot of new and exciting things going on. I had just moved to a city, that for years felt like a dream to live in, I was starting a new job with amazing people and thrilling projects, in the very niche area in which I wanted to start my career path, and I started this new chapter sharing it with the person who means the world to me, which is my sister. However, I had the feeling something was missing. 

We met each other in December, the air was cold and the days were short and dark. Nevertheless, December is definitely one of my favorite months, as this is such a magical season, as the darkness is needed to light up all the beautiful lights that light up the streets, and Christmas trees, and of course, the Christmas markets have a fairytale mist. I have always loved the holiday season, as I think that it is not only a time for reflection into the past and brings a lot of excitement into the next year, but it is also (at least for me) a season to be incredibly grateful about the people we have in our lives, and it inspires me to give the best of me. 

I hate dating in the modern world, one would say that there is absolutely nothing magical about swiping left or right. One can’t simply get to know a person just by a couple of pictures, a rather poor description about yourself or the same old pickup lines, and small talk over text. Trying to find someone who is worth it, or at least matches your energy is not an easy task. To try to find people that kinda match my energy, and at least that I knew that they took the time to read my profile, I asked “Who would win in a streetfight? Remy from Ratatouille or Stuart Little?” Although the question itself is super stupid and the answer doesn’t really matter (no actually it does, of course, Remy would win, I didn’t trust people who said that Stuart Little would win). I remember that your answer was one of the nerdiest ones I had. Of course, as the nerd-as paleontologists, your answer was that since Remy is a rat, he has the biological advantage of being bigger and heavier, so he could easily beat Stuart. I found that hilarious, 

Even though I was curious and kinda looking forward to our first date, I was really looking forward to seeing the Christmas market at Odeonsplatz, as that is one of my favorite markets where you literally feel inside a children’s book. To be honest, I was not really expecting a lot of the date itself, and I don’t know why, but I had the idea that you would be a little bit too nerdy or dorky for me. Back then I was a bit unsure if I wanted a serious relationship, but I wanted to meet people in the new city I just moved in, and I was a bit afraid of maybe not liking you and having to break your heart (and it is quite ironic how this thing turned out to be… two times).

To be honest, I feel so silly and maybe even a little bit embarrassing that I remember every single detail about that date. From the place where we decided to meet, in front of one of the lions, as it was winter, everyone was wearing black or grey jackets and coats, including us. I remember you said that to make it easier for me to find you, you would wear only one glove. That is the level of detail, in which I remember it all too well. To be honest, my first reaction when I met you was “oh wow he’s actually cuter in person”. I felt so stupid, because even though we were texting in German the whole time, I got a bit nervous when I met you, and suddenly I was too conscious about everything, including my questionable German. That immediately went straight into the rubbish.

You apologized because you didn’t make the scientific fact-based list of why Remy would win. After all, you didn’t have the time to do it. To be honest, I also wanted to do one but also didn’t have the time to do it, at the end of the day, we are both functional adults. Anyways, we did the mandatory thing to do whenever you visit a Christmas market, which is to get a cup of Glühwein. 

We did a bit of small talk, you were so charming and charismatic, and somehow, being with you felt rather familiar. I was genuinely curious to know what the hell a paleontologist does in real life. My only references were Ross Geller, Indiana Jones, and a bit of Jurassic Park, which are all jokes and references that you get for sure more than a thousand times, but I wanted to know all about it. To be honest, seeing how excited you got about talking about these topics was rather cute, and I found all of it genuinely interesting. At the end of the day, I am also a nerd who was really interested in biology. I think that when I told you about what I studied and what I was working on, I think I made it sound rather confusing and maybe not so exciting, trying to explain something with passion in your third language, it’s not so easy. I have barely felt myself whenever I talk in German. I can do it, but my German version is far from being my favourite version of myself. 

After some small talk, you casually asked, why or how I came up with the whole Remy and Stuart question. The real and blunt answer: to filter boring people, people who don’t have a sense of humour and people that will not take one extra step. The answer I gave you and I kinda chocked on it in German: me and my sister make jokes about it, because she hates Stuart Little (which is also true). I struggled to find the words in German and I asked you if we could switch to German. I am so glad we did because suddenly I felt like I could be more like myself. The English and Spanish versions of myself are basically the same thing. Once I felt that I could actually relax, be more like myself, the conversion flowed way much more easily, and I noticed how easy-going everything felt. 

It is so stupid how up to this day, about 8 months later after that first date, I still remember everything so vividly. I remember that we talked about the uncanny valley when we saw these weird ass looking animatronics at the Christmas market, I remember that you made fun of me because I ordered a Bratwürst with süßes Senf, I remember how you said: “it is so easy to tell that you are not from here because nobody would have a Bratwürst with sweet mustard, maybe some Leberkäse, but not with a Bratwürst”. 

Anyways, the evening went by, we had another Glühwein, I remember that randomly a girl you went to the university with popped out with her boyfriend and you catched up. I remember it was so silly when she asked us “Where are you living guys” assuming we were a thing and that we were living together, but the reality was far from that, I internally laughed a lot about it, because I thought “oh no we actually just met today”, but you actually answered way much more elegantly with a “oh no we’re not living together” and that’s it. I remember you talked about the Barbara’s Fest thingy, which you happened to tell me before by text. Also, it was quite interesting for me, because you mentioned that you wanted to start your PhD, and you were not sure where you would do it, but of course, Munich was your first option. At the end you exchanged numbers and I remember that it was so hilarious that at the end you mentioned “yeah I am terrible with names” and you were really waiting for her to say her name or to type it in as your contact. Later you mentioned that after a 6-year relationship, you didn’t remember the name of your ex-girlfriend’s dad, even though you really liked the guy… also you mixed my name at the very beginning and you thought it was Laura… that was already a major red flag from the very beginning, but I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. It is so stupid because I think that by now, you have already forgotten my name, or It is just a matter of time, but I definitely can’t say the same thing.

As time went by, the Christmas market closed and they sent us all home, I remember we walked to Universität, so you could take your bus and I could take my subway. Already with a couple of Glühweins running through our veins, I remember we had one of the silliest conversations. I remember you made fun of horse girls, and I was mad because as a girl, horses were my favorite animal (and I even got bullied for that, but that is another story… and funny enough, it was by a guy named Max, but that is another story). You also joked about people burying hamsters instead of flushing them away (?), that was a bit odd, but okay, I remember that I told you that I had a Yorkie, which I loved with all my heart and soul. I also remember a lot that we talked about how stupid pigeons are, and how we made a lot of fun of them of how low their stats are when you compare them to any other animal.

We finally reached our separating points, we wanted to keep the conversation going (or I least I had the feeling that was the case) but we needed to go back home. I remember you accompanied me to the U-bahn, even though your bus left first, you didn’t seem to mind catching the next one. We chit-chatted a bit more, and we hugged to say goodbye, after a (at least from my pov) lovely evening.

Honestly, that rather simple evening, was one of the best first dates I ever had, not only the combination of the charm and flare of the Christmas market, and the lightness of the mood sponsored by the Glühwein, but getting to see a glimpse of who you are was amazing. It was enchanting to meet you.

That night was flawless,

I was wonderstruck flushing all the way home,

after being enchanted to meet you. 

I was praying that was the very first page, 

not where the storyline ends, 

my thoughts echoed your name until I saw you again. 

These were the words I held back as I was leaving too soon,

I was enchanted to meet you,

begging that you were not in love with someone else.

I remember I got home, my sister asked me how did everything go, and I just said “that was one of the best first dates I ever had. I had so much fun and I really liked him. I don’t know where exactly this thing is going, but it was SO good.” I could not stop smiling and dancing across the apartment. I could not wait to see you again. It is one of those things that when you know, you know. I haven’t felt something like that in years.