#liv blogs from the hospital

[livrere-green]

I just pictured this random scene of charles telling edwin in the most casual of ways that he could show him how kissing is like just for edwin to respond in the most deadpan serious voice that he already knows how it is like.

it's funnier if you imagine crystal and jenny in the background almost losing their minds.

[superblysubpar]

Dad Steve Options

- dad steve wants to/asks to baby wear his little infant girl and it's just about the fuckin most adorable thing. Maybe he goes out on the town doing something domesticated with her strapped to his chest. 🫠

- his kiddo (boy or girl) plays basketball and he's all mushy proud dad at their first game (esp bc he knows what it's like to play with no one in the stands) 🏀

- dad Steve has a daughter and she asks him to her schools father daughter dance 🤵

- dad Steve gets heart eyes at you just after you give birth and are a trash mess in the hospital (and/or other first time mom things that are otherwise not glamorous but he's just so amazed. 🤱

dad!steve harrington x mom!fem! reader

a How Sweet It Is story

Summary: It's hard to stay mad at Steve when he's just being a good husband and dad | even if a fic is not marked 18+, my blog is

Warnings: reader is pregnant

3.6k words

Winter, 1996:

The house was in chaos, but what else is new? 

Steve can't even keep track of what day of the week it is, so it was a very real possibility (or entirely one hundred percent a fact) that he forgot to change the wet clothes from the washing machine into the dryer last night.

Normally, not a big deal - he'd rewash it or he'd smell test and toss it in the dryer anyways. However, this load was important because it had the basketball jersey in it.

The basketball jersey his daughter is supposed to wear in less than a half hour for her game. 

"Dad! Where's my jersey? You said you washed it right?"

The basketball jersey said daughter is screaming down the hall for. 

"Oh shit," he whispers before realizing the little lady who barely comes up to his hip is standing next to him as he carefully pulls another daughter from her crib. 

The noise of her sucking in a deep breath alerts him of her presence. Watching out of the corner of his eyes as she rocks back on her heels and chirps out happily, repeating it back to him, "Oh, shit!"

He spins to face her quickly, hand on the back of the sleeping one year old cradled against his chest, "No, no, no Liv, baby don't-"

"Shit!" She laughs as she repeats it again, happy to have her dad’s attention on her.

"Dad!" Nora shrieks down the hall and he groans.

When did the "dy" get removed? Why don't fathers get notified? Have ample time to prepare from being called Daddy lovingly by their baby girl to Dad like they’re public enemy number one suddenly. 

He calls out, squeezing his eyes shut, "Nora, sweetie I forgot-"

"Folded on the counter in the bathroom!" your voice echoes up the stairs, interrupting the meltdown that was about to occur. You are a saint and his shoulders fall down with relief as Nora shouts back a thank you - much too loud, but he’ll take the win. 

He watches Liv untangle her braids absentmindedly and she sings "Shit!" again as they walk out into the hall.

Grace gasps from the bottom of the stairs, "Mommy! Liv said shit!"

"Grace, don't repe-"

"She what?"

Steve groans again, his permanent state lately, as he makes his way down the stairs one at a time, his jeans in the firm grasp of his three year old as she takes her time. Julie stirs in his arms, that furrow of her eyebrows deepening and tiny fists forming from all the yelling. 

God, please don’t wake up and start screaming. Steve pleads down the stairs with the one who can maybe understand him, "Grace, baby, she doesn't know it's a bad word yet okay? She doesn't-"

"Shit!" Liv hops off the stairs from the second to last one, grinning proudly at you.

Steve closes his eyes and peeks them open as he takes the last step to see you trying not to smile.

"Liv, sweetie, bad word don't repeat," you squat with your arm outstretched for her and groan the whole way down and wince when she slams into you with a giggle.

Steve's nerves on high alert as your face scrunches in pain, "What? What's wrong? Are you okay? What hurts?"

Your laugh is loud as you look up at him, rolling your eyes. You slip on Liv's shoes as Grace uses your shoulder to balance while she gets her own on. Grace manages to trap some of your hair between her fingers as she tugs and he watches you physically fight off the wince that wants to come out as you huff, "Steve, I'm fine. I have a doctor’s appointment nex-”

“Yeah, not till next week. You should stay home and-”

Fury burning in your eyes towards him as you frown, “I’m not missing her game Steve.”

He swallows and nods. He totally understands, it’s the championship game. Nora’s first season. He’d literally have to be bleeding out to miss it, and even then he’d probably fight you on it. But this - you - it’s different. 

This pregnancy is so unlike the others already, your symptoms much worse and far quicker than the other four and he felt guilty and more worried than usual. However, the main feeling buzzing through his body is absolutely fear. Your mood towards him has been far more on the ‘you did this to me and I hate you’ side of the spectrum than the ‘wow I can’t believe we’re having another one’ he was normally used to. All of which has him convinced it’s a boy this time. Destined to be a pain in the ass just like his father. Or worse, it could be another daughter, but one who comes out calling him dad immediately with disdain dripping from her lips while she sneaks out of her window to go sleep with-

Nora’s feet slamming on the steps pulls him out of his spiral and he turns, a wide smile pulling at his lips. Decked out in green and orange, bright green glasses to match and her dark brown curls in a ponytail, she beams at him. 

He raises his hand and pretends to snap a picture and she poses, sticking her tongue out just like Uncle Eddie and he laughs. 

She jumps down the last few steps and as Steve bends to kiss the top of her head, Nora ducks to kiss Julie on the forehead softly. As Steve stands up, brushing a stray baby hair that fell from Nora’s headband, she peers up at him looking like his little girl and an adult all at the same time as she asks, “Ready to watch me kick some Cougar’s butts?”

He laughs and Grace cheers, causing Liv to join in and run around in a circle whooping and tugging on your jeans. Your hand falls to your stomach, not really showing at all yet, but your habit of resting it there from past pregnancies already returning. You smile at your daughters before making eye contact with him, nodding towards the front door with a roll of your eyes, “Well what are we waiting for? Time to go watch the best team in Indiana!”

“Steve, come on, I can just hold her,” you huff as you lean against the car, watching Robin push Grace and Liv on the swings across the parking lot.

“Baby, just-ouch!” buckle pinching his fingers again and he grits through his teeth, “This way we both have free hands,” he grins as it clicks together and he tugs harshly, making sure it’s secure before he motions with his fingers for her to hand over Julie. His youngest, who’s now awake and happily munching on her own hand as she peers at him with big brown eyes. 

You smile, kissing the top of her head, not releasing her and looking out the corner of your eye, “You look like such a dork.”

“Ah, but an efficient dork. This way my hands are free for foam fingers and popcorn. Plus it’s practice. What’s gonna happen when it’s park day and we have two that can’t walk and one of us is at work?” he snaps the band over his shoulder with a grin and raises his eyebrows.

You snort and he reaches for Julie, she squirms and shrieks, kicking her legs like it’s a fun game as he tries to place her in the opening. Steve mumbles, “Jules, come on now-”

“Would you like some help?” you ask with your arms crossed, hiding your amusement as he huffs and nods. 

Julie reaches for you again as you help tuck her legs in, her back to Steve’s chest. Her shriek breaks his ear drums as you pretend to bite the air around her, chasing her hands and pressing your nose into hers. 

Eyes sparkling as you look up at him from under your lashes, hair blowing lightly in the wind Steve was sure if you weren’t already pregnant he’d ask you for another one right then and there. 

Snorting, you stand up and raise your eyebrows at him and he feels the heat blooming under his skin as he asks, “What?”

You laugh, pointing an accusing finger in his face that Julie makes quick work to grab onto as you scold, “You’re giving me your baby eyes!”

“I-what?” Damn, you were good. Steve looks up at the sky, hands on his hips, “You’re ridiculous. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He starts to walk away, turning to reach out his hand, “Look at that,” yours slips into his and he squeezes, kissing the top of Julie’s head, “Another benefit to free hands.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s a fair argument,” you squeeze it back, locking eyes with him as you step closer to the playground. Your thumb rubs against the back of his knuckles, “I’m sorry I’ve been so awful lately.”

He stops you, hands reaching up to cup your cheeks and he shakes his head, “Woah, woah, woah, who said anything about you being awful?”

You roll your eyes, leaning into one of his palms and kiss his wrist, ready to protest when Robin interrupts.

“Hey! Lovebirds! If you’re done making googly eyes at each other, I think we have a very important game to get to!”

Steve sighs and you smile, stepping onto your toes to kiss his cheek and letting his hands hover in your absence as you start towards the girls. 

Robin hangs back until Steve catches up, yanking his arm harshly, “I cannot believe you.”

“Hi Robin, I missed you too,” Steve rips his arm out of her grip and frowns. 

She pokes at him, walking backwards with a hiss, “Did you really get her pregnant again?”

Steve stops, mouth dropping open and Robin groans, “Steve, you’re actually disgusting. Can you not keep it in your pants? I mean, my god, you just had this cutie,” she tickles Julie’s cheeks as she reaches for her and Robin raises her eyebrows, snapping the band of the pack as he had just done, “Dork.”

He rubs at his temple, “Will you -first of all, Y/N hasn’t even been to the doctor yet, so will you just cool it? The girls don’t know and actually, why am I even telling you?!” he throws his hands up, “You probably already know since you have a wire tap into my house or some shit.”

Robin snorts, turning back around, “No Stevie, you’re just very, very…” she flutters her fingers around, eyes scrunching before snapping, “Predictable?”

Annoyed at her use of the nickname and ready to argue with her, he’s interrupted when you turn with both girls' hands in yours to look over your shoulder and you frown. Any sweet moment the two of you just shared over as you scold, “Steve! Did you just tell her?!”

Steve holds up his hands, eyes widening, “No, no, no, I-”

You narrow your eyes and his voice squeaks, “She guessed!” he hits Robin’s shoulder with the back of his hand, “Right? You guessed. Tell her that I didn’t tell you.”

“Ouch,” Robin hisses and then shrugs, enjoying the game, “I don’t know, did I guess Steve? Or did you just confirm a suspicion?”

Steve can see the steam coming out of your ears and Robin winces, hands motioning just like Steve’s, “No really, I did guess. Not his fault. Can I get you a pretzel? How about a Sprite? You look beautiful today, doesn’t she, Steve?”

You roll your eyes and walk away with the girls and Steve’s shoulders slump, and Robin pat his arm, whispering as they trailed in behind you, “What the hell did you do to her?”

He looks at the back of your head and then at Robin and shrugs before whispering, “I don’t know, but I think a mini version of myself is coming out this time.”

Robin shivers, making a gagging noise, “Ew, gross, don’t say-”

“Aunt Robin!” Nora shouts, waving wildly from her spot on the bench. 

Robin screams, waving just as frantically and holds up two thumbs before blowing a kiss that Nora jumps up to catch. 

As you sit, Liv wastes no time, crawling onto you, her foot digging into your stomach as she maneuvers to a comfy yet restless position and Steve winces, “Baby, why don’t you come sit on Aunt Robin’s lap?”

You frown, “Steve, I’m fine,” but Liv is already crawling across your lap and into Robin’s who takes her arms and waves them and gets her shouting for Nora too. Grace standing on the bleacher next to her, holding up a sign decked out in glitter that’s raining on the people in front of her as she waves it back and forth too quickly. 

You’re on your feet suddenly, making your way past him and he grabs your wrist, “Wait, where are you going?”

Glaring at him, you remove your wrist, “To go get a Ginger-ale.”

He starts to stand, “Are you not feeling good? I can get it, you sit and-”

“Steve, I also have to pee, are you going to do that for me too?”

He sits, pulling his cheek in and nods once, “Right. Have fu-good lu-” he closes his eyes and shakes his head and nods again as you leave the stands. 

Robin whistles, “Dude, this is bad. I haven’t seen you this frazzled since before you started dating.”

Steve slumps against Robin, forehead to her shoulder, “I don’t know if she’s actually pissed or it’s just the-” his voice drops quieter, “hormones, or-”

Liv spins in her lap and pulls at his cheek and he smiles until she grins back and shouts, “Pissed!”

Grace gasps, “Daddy! Liv just said-”

Steve straightens, finger pointing at her, “I know! Don’t repeat it!” he boops Liv’s nose, “Not a good word. Don’t repeat.”

Liv grins, opening her mouth and before she can say it again, Robin blows a raspberry into her neck, distracting her in perfect time to you climbing the stairs with Dustin and Eddie behind you. 

Julie has a hold of his fingers and you smirk, “So much for free hands.”

Dustin stops in front of him, “You look like a mega dork.”

Steve pushes the bill of his hat down, “Takes one to know one.”

Eddie and Dustin plop in the now vacant and completely littered in green and orange glitter spots in front of you and Liv climbs from Robin’s lap onto Eddie’s shoulders. Dangling, her face upside down in front of his, she beams and shouts, “Shit!”

Eddie laughs but quickly covers it up with a cough, “Well, that’s a new word,” he looks over his shoulder at you and grins, “For the record, I was not the one to teach that one to her.” He pulls her forward until she’s balancing a foot on each of their thighs and beaming back at you.

Sighing, you shake your head, “Nope that one was all Steve.”

Liv chooses then to repeat her other new word and Steve hides his face in Julie’s hair. Grace gasps again, “Mommy, did you hear-”

It’s extremely hard to stay mad at Steve Harrington. 

Not a new realization, in fact it’s something you’ve been highly aware of since the day you met. One look at his stupidly adoring face and anger just seemed to dissolve from you. So, today was no different of course. 

The way he nudged his knee against yours when you returned to the stands, a silent ‘we’re okay, right?’, his sudden jump up when Nora got the ball and he shouted, “Elbow, baby, keep your elbow in!” and his fist pump as the ball swished into the net. The stupid ( and fine, very logical) baby carrier that shouldn’t look good on him but did. The way he handed Julie off to you so he could race down the stairs and catch Nora who jumped into his arms as he spun her shouting something about pizza for everybody. 

It was all so incredibly and unfairly endearing. And it’s not like you were actually mad at him. You couldn’t wait to have another baby with him. No, the problem is that once Steve finds out, he’s not going to let you out of bed, out of his sight or allow you to do a single thing for yourself. Because you know that’s how he was with the other four and this will be worse, you just know it.  

Having four girls is already a lot of work. His promotion at work and your job keep you both busy aside from being parents. He already insists on doing most of the chores since you work longer hours some nights. But it’s chaotic. Both of you forget loads of laundry, leave dishes in the sink, and you get take out far too many nights because the thought of cooking is too much. What’s going to happen when he finds out? When it’s already chaos and you’re helping, how much worse is it going to get when he refuses to let you do anything?

So, when he insists on getting up at dinner to go get you another slice and go refill the girls drinks and his pizza sits cold and uneaten in front of him you snap, “Steve! Stop it!”

The table falls silent, a thing you actually thought impossible for your family. Even Julie, her pacifier placating her into silence. The arcade game’s dings and whistles are the only sound for what feels like forever before you blow out your breath and push back from the table. Mumbling some sort of an apology and you step outside taking a breath of fresh air. 

Though your vision is blurry, you can see through the front windows that they’re all trying and failing to look busy instead of watching you, and Steve is outside and in your space because of course he followed you immediately. 

“Baby, you gotta tell me what’s going on. Hey, come on,” he cradles your cheeks, thumbs brushing over them and wiping your tears as his forehead presses to yours, glasses sliding down his nose. 

“So-sorry,” you hiccup, hands tightening on his forearms and squeezing. 

“Will you stop apologizing? It’s my fault and I know we talked about it, but maybe you don’t want this fifth one and-”

“Steve, please stop. You have to…” you take a step away from him and wipe at your cheeks and cross your arms, “I need you to listen. Really listen. Let me get it all out before you go into overprotective hero mode okay?”

He grimaces, “That is not making me feel better, babe.” His shoulders relax at your raised eyebrows and he nods, leaning against the window, raising his right hand with a small smile, “I promise, okay?”

Taking a deep breath, you start pacing in front of him, “I love you. So much. And I love our family. It’s chaos, but it’s our chaos, you know? And, seriously, I love you, but you have to let me do things for myself and trust that I know my body and my limits because, Steve,” your hands are in your hair as your eyes stay focused on the sidewalk, “It’s already hard to stay on top of stuff when I do help. So I need to hear you say it.”

He straightens, eyebrows furrowed and you reach forward on instinct to soften the wrinkles with your fingers just like you do for the girls as he asks, “Say what?”

“That you promise to let me help. That unless I ask for help or to not do something, that I can…” you wave your hands around, “That I can go get my own slice of pizza. That we both help with the girls, that-”

He nods, hands finding yours, “Okay, I promise.”

He leans in to kiss you, nose pressing into your cheek and lips hovering over yours as you sigh, “Thank you, but there’s one more thing?”

His lips twitch up on one side, “Yeah? Do I need to start using a swear jar?”

Blowing out your breath in a shaky laugh, you watch his eyes carefully as you whisper, “Remember how you said you wanted six kids?”

He smiles against your lips, not fully listening you’re sure, since this is the closest you’ve been in weeks but he nods. Swallowing and licking his lips as he presses closer to you. 

“Well, uh, about that,” his hands find your cheeks as you push through it, “We’re having twins.”

Steve’s thumbs freeze, his shoulders tense and his gulp is audible, “Wh-what?”

You shrug, biting your lip as your vision turns blurry from more tears, “Surprise?”

His arms move around your waist and before you can say anything else he’s holding you up, your toes barely touching the ground as he laughs through his own tears and kisses you. Breathless and kissing all over your face as he spins you around and the door opens, the girls running out, Julie in Nora’s arms and Grace holding Liv’s hand. 

Nora cocks her head to the side, a mirror image of Steve as she frowns, “What’s going on? Why are you crying?”

Steve’s behind you, head pressed into your neck as you laugh and wipe at your eyes, holding up two fingers, “Well, mom’s having two babies!”

Shouting and running around in circles and kisses on every cheek you can find as they all celebrate loudly and are filled with too much energy for such small bodies. Steve doesn’t remove his arms from around your waist, squeezing you lightly and laughing into your shoulder as Liv yells, “Shit!” again. 

It’s chaos. But what else is new?

Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought, and I hope you consider reblogging my work to get it circulated to new readers - thanks for being here 💛

[tearfallpixie]

Trust and Love - Chapter 4: Boys will be Boys

Tags: @nerdraging4point0 @thesazzb @synthetic-wasp-570 @circle-with-me @beaker1636 @itsjustemily @witchyweeb34 @agravemisstake @cookiesupplier @cncohshit @faceless-mirror @nonamessblog @yournecessaryevil @black-damask1999

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“Vin? Is everything ok?” Ricky asked when he opened the door to his hotel room to see a very angry drummer standing on the other side. His question was answered when he was shoved backwards and the door was kicked shut. Olivia had gone home for a couple days to deal with some family stuff, so the guitarist had a room all to himself. “Woah. Vin-“ His words were cut off as he was shoved to the bed and his mouth was claimed in a needy lustful kiss. Ricky rolled them around so Vinny was under him and pinned his hands above his head. “I don’t mind helping you out, but you have got to tell me what’s got you so riled up.” The drummer groaned and flopped back onto the bed.

“Sorry. I’m just so furious. This fucking dumbass has been stalking me all over the place. He was fucking following me around ShipRocked last year trying to figure out who I was with and now he’s got pics of me and Liv together. He’s saying he’s going to blast them all over the internet and it just pissed me off.”

“Were you and her doing anything in the photos?” Ricky asked.

“What? No! We wouldn’t. It’s just pics of me saving her when we were in that swarm of people at the Walmart at the beginning of tour and various pics of us hugging since then. Nothing technically incriminating but she doesn’t need that stress when she’s your girl.” Ricky nodded and slid to his knees off the bed. Vin propped himself up on his elbows and watched as the guitarist expertly undid his jeans and started working them down his legs. Vinny’s breathing had shallowed out and he knew his eyes were blown wide. It was rare for Ricky to get on his knees for him, which the drummer didn’t mind, but it meant he didn’t last long when he did. “Rick-“

“Shh, I don’t mind helping you take some of the stress off.” The guitarist licked a strip up the underside of his member before taking him into his mouth and swallowing him all the way down. Vin threw his head back and laced his hands in his own hair, trying not to claw his scalp too bad. He groaned when he opened his eyes a bit and saw Ricky looking up at him through hooded eye lashes. It was enough to send him way to close to the edge so he scrambled to grab onto something. A hand snatched his when he got too close to Rickys hair. He looked down to see the man giving him a warning glare so he clung to his hand like it was a life line.

“Rick- fuck. Rick, I’m so fucking close.” This seemed to spur the guitarists determination and he sucked a little bit harder, tugging on that last string that sent Vinny crashing into his orgasm. He laid there gasping for breath for a moment before shoving himself back onto his arms and seeing the proud smirk that Ricky wore. “What are you so happy about?” Rick shrugged.

“Just missed seeing you come undone beneath me. Its been a while since we fooled around.” He crawled up to lay next to Vinny who noticed a patch of come on the corner of his mouth. He leaned forward to lick it off but was caught in a deep messy kiss from his partner.

“I’ve missed this. Should we tell Liv? I don’t want her getting hurt if she thinks we’re fooling around behind her back.” Vinny worried. Last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt the most important girl in their lives.

“She won’t care.” Vinny gave him an unsure look making Ricky roll his eyes. He picked up his phone and called her number. “Hey baby girl.”

“Hi baby. How is everything over there?”

“Fine, Vinny and I miss you. How is your grandma?”

“She’s good. She was released from the hospital today with no more than a broken arm. I’m still all good to return in two days.” She told them. Vinny elbowed Rick in the side making him grunt.

“Fuck, ok.” He snapped at the drummer. “Vinny so desperately wants me to tell you I blew him tonight.” Vinny groaned and buried his head into the pillow.

“Well ok then. Did you enjoy it?” Olivia asked. Vinny gave Ricky a bewildered look who just shrugged.

“I guess.” The drummer muttered.

“You guess? My skills deserve better than an I guess. I had you coming in under two minutes.” Ricky huffed playfully making Olivia laugh. The sound of her gorgeous laugh had Vinny melting.

“So why was it so important that I knew you two fooled around?” She asked.

“Vinny was worried that you would get hurt by it. He thought it felt like we were keeping a secret from you.” The guitarist explained.

“I know you two are together. I just didn’t want any secrets. You are very important to me.” Vinny grumbled.

“Vin, sweetheart I already told Ricky that if you two need to blow off steam together it wouldn’t bother me. Both of you were honest to me about your history together so I don’t mind.” The drummer let out a sigh of relief that he didn’t know he was holding.

“Thank you, Liv.” He whispered.

“I have to go but I’ll talk to you two later. Ok?” Olivia said.

“Ok baby girl. I love you.”

“I love you too Ricky. Bye Vinny.” Vinny mumbled a goodbye and curled into Ricks side. Ricky set the phone on his nightstand before wrapping his arms around the drummer.

“See? I told you she wouldn’t care.” The guitarist teased him.

“I know. She’s just so pure. I wouldn’t want to cause any issues between you two.”

“Vinny, you could never cause issues between us because for once I laid out everything to a partner from the get-go. Its been very refreshing and she’s been very understanding. I’m honestly so lucky to have her.” They chatted a bit longer before words left them and they got lost in the feeling of being together once more.

~~~~

“Ricky! Vinny!” The boys looked up from their conversation to see their favorite girl running across the airport towards them. They both stood up and braced themselves for impact as she threw her arms around their necks and hugged them tightly. The three of them hugged each other tightly, having missed being together.

“I missed you so much baby girl. How was your flight?” Ricky murmured, brushing a stray hair out of her face. She leaned into her touch and sighed at the comforting touch.

“It was fine. I remember why I don’t like flying alone but I’m ok. I missed you too. Both of you.” Ricky leaned down to kiss her and then Vinny pulled her into another hug.

“We missed you too, Sunshine.” He whispered.

“At least you two had each other to take care of. I was all alone.” She dramatically complained.

“Don’t worry, I bet Rick will give you a big welcome home once you are alone.” The drummer smirked.

“You’re always welcome to join us.” Ricky grinned back, throwing an arm around Olivia’s shoulder and pulling her towards the baggage claim.

“W-what?” Vinny exclaimed, chasing after his two friends.

[randomfoggytiger]

X-Files' Collector's Edition: Fight the Future Fics (Part I)

No introduction necessary, I think.

Loose chronological order below~!

astronaught's Equilibrium - Entr'acte

""He doesn’t like having an aversion to smallness because it means he might reject a truth for being insufficiently grand. Tall tales curdle in Kurtzweil’s mouth, and for the eighty-seventh time that year he feels dirtied by their hold on him....

If their work was going to be destroyed by anything, he didn’t think it would be because she lost her nerve. He and she share a tendency to hold their noses when it comes to dealing with the spiritually mundane, but they don’t do so childishly....

But all the same. Their intellectual honesty has always been its own kind of snobbery. It isn’t really smallness (nor practicality, nor effort) that he’s averse to, but rather inefficiency of a very specific kind. His duty is to the necessary. To the fundamentally true....

And he thought she was the same.""

Mulder and Scully spin their wheels, confused and hurt by each other's lines they draw about the work.

red2007's Icarus

""One breath. Two breaths. Chest compressions.

Molten lava was licking through his veins. Every movement he made, every memory he conjured was a four alarm fire coursing through his body. He’d been pulled closer to her everyday since they’d first met, no one else heard him or bothered to listen. No one could see him the way she did, she made him feel relevant. Her trust in him made him feel invincible. He didn’t remember what life was like before her, he didn’t care to.

He was terrified of a life without her and it was burning him up from the inside out. This partnership turned friendship turned codependency turned love…he didn’t know how to survive without it.""

Mulder's body is on fire with adrenaline as he pushes its limits to save his partner.

@leiascully's (Ao3)

OctoberFicFest Day 6: Frost (Ao3)

""He’s too desperate to revive her to think of how empty, how shattered his heart will be if she doesn’t wake up."" 

Mulder ruminates on twisted fairytales while saving his frosted partner.

To The Ends Of The Earth (Ao3)

""He’s still shivering, even in his suit in the sun in the summer. He’s seen her shivering too. They’ve both been drinking more coffee since Antarctica. He’s been watching her lace her fingers around her mugs, just letting the warmth seep into her. He hopes his hand is as soothing to her as the terrible coffee in the bullpen.

“If I quit now, they win,” she said. He turns it over and over in his mind as they walk. He doesn’t know where they’re going. He doesn’t care. They’re together. They survived. They have their work. That’s all that matters to him anymore, Scully and the work.""

Post FTF Mulder and Scully leisure around DC, he enjoying and she surprising.

@scapegrace74-blog/scapegrace74's Walking After You

""It was foreordained that Mulder be beside her.  Where fear and the improbable intersected in her life, there was her partner, vigilant defender against all her katabases.  She no longer questioned his presence there.  He simply was.

...Her beautiful Don Quixote, caring only for the quest, and not its consequences.""

Scully pulls Mulder to her on the ice, contemplating her childhood dreams and her partner's revitalized wonder.

@all-these-ghosts's (Ao3

if i am hopeful - Chapter 6

""After everything, all of the strife and regret, she will die here. In this great whiteness. They say that freezing to death is an easy way to go, but she is a doctor and a realist and nothing, nothing has ever been easy for them.

He has already stopped shivering."" 

Scully is convinced she and Mulder will freeze to death, noting his deterioration but grateful to perish with him.

unfinished business

""This is Scully, he reminds himself. Scully who follows him on every insane adventure, who pulls him back from the edge, who not even a year ago was dying in a hospital bed while he raged, unable to contend with his absolute powerlessness.

And now, here in his living room: he is not powerless.""

AU-- Scully is overthinking her rescue, questioning why Mulder went to the ends of the earth for her. He finally demonstrates why.

@scully/humancredentials’s

a series of tumblr prompts - Chapter 8 (Ao3)

""Her eyes sting, her tears freezing on her face as soon as they fall. She feels the ache in her bones and her lungs burn with every inhale of cold air. She presses her cracked lips to his forehead and tastes blood. His, she thinks, but she’s not sure....

“Mulder,” she murmurs, her voice hoarse and underused. He doesn’t react, doesn’t even move, this foolish hero of hers that followed her to the ends of the earth. He has given her his warmest clothes.""

Scully begs her partner to stay awake, thrilled and relieved when he cracks a joke.

@frangipanidownunder’s (Ao3) 

I Love You Prompts: Tiny Fics - Chapter 2

""Thank you,” she says and her voice is cracked like the ice.

He doesn’t know what to say. She would have done the same for him. Had done the same. Their rescues of each other are becoming more epic by the year. He chuffs out a laugh at the thought but it gets stuck in the frozen air.""

Mulder drags Scully to the Snocat, letting Scully off the hook for not remembering the hallway completely. They always save each other, after all.

Cold, happy, tired.

""She can recall his expression though. Standing before her in that chamber, willing her to breathe. His lips parted, his eyes wide with a mix of terror and happiness. Wet hair flopping over his face. He had saved her and himself - the relieved note in his voice told her that. In that moment, a tiny speck of time between them, she knew she loved him. Irrefutably. The thought flashed through her mind, a bolt of reality. It warmed her chest, spurred her on.""

AU-- Scully sees the spaceship; and, mind blown, helps drag her weary partner to safety, welcoming his tiny little move.

@sixhours/6hoursgirl's (FFN) Waking Hours - Chapter 1 (FFN)

""Mulder,” she tries again, jaw aching with the effort. “Wake up.”

He does, then, ice crystal lashes blinking open to reveal muddy hazel eyes. His lips form her name, a soundless whisper cast into the storm, received by mutual telepathy.""

Scully wakes Mulder up in the icefield, pulling him away from looking for the spaceship he claimed to have seen for more practical pursuits.

@scullydubois/scully_dubois's txf prompts - Chapter 2

""He is numb to everything except a weight and warmth near--one that could not possibly have originated from him, for he has known nothing except ragging breath and stillness for...well, he doesn’t know how long. There are no sunrises or sunsets here to mark the time.

He remembers, then, why he is here. That he’s not alone. That he came here to rescue the one person that’s ever believed him when he needed it, and that he did, and so she must be here, she must be that weight against his side.""

Mulder wakes to Scully, filling her while on the ice and leaving it open-ended on how to go forward.

@contrivedcoincidences6/Spooky66/geektime66’s

Never Let You Go

""For as long as I live I’ll never be able to get the image of her in that capsule out of my head. It will haunt me till the day I die.""

Mulder drags Scully back to the Snocat, both vowing to never let the other go.

Helpless

""I’m too late.

As I helplessly pump at her chest I begin to feel the sobs. My chest and my throat feel like they are being ripped open with the force of them.

She’s gone. Scully is dead and there is no point in living.""

Mulder has a nightmare; and he makes a move on Scully while she attempts to comfort him.

@i-gaze-at-scully’s (Ao3)

Tundra

""I saw it,” you whispered, holding me, as the loose wet hair around your face froze in strands.

Belief as soft and fresh as the snow we laid in insulated us from the cold.""

Mulder and Scully lay on the tundra, warmed by their belief.

Pad Thai and poison apples

""They get out together though, naturally, at the basement level. Scully wants to be smug, wants to rub it in Diana’s face that this is her office, her work, her.... she wants to, but she can’t. Not without a nameplate on the door. Or even a desk.""

Post FTF Diana goads Scully about not getting a lunch invite from Mulder. And even though he'd forgotten about Fowley, it doesn't soothe the sting.

ML/ML_is_me’s (Ao3, Gossamer, DW, Invidiosa)  and LaVa, Jacquie and Tess

Fight the Good Fight

""His cot was less than ten feet from hers but it might as well have been ten miles. She was exhausted by the time she reached his side. Collapsing onto the floor beside him, she called to him.

"Mulder. It's me."

Fear sent her heart bumping against her breastbone when he didn't stir.""

Scully is worried for her partner, both physically and mentally: it's obvious that he's losing his drive for a quest that always hurts her.

@allyinthekeyofx’s (Ao3)

Small Considerations Between Partners - 6 (Ao3)

""Because mostly what I remember is the fear; the absolute all encompassing terror I felt when I tried to swallow and discovered my throat was blocked by a tube, gagging as I tried to scream, to shout, to have someone please come to get it out of me. This invader of my prone body that stole my breath and rendered me almost hysterical as I fought with everything I had to lift my hands in an attempt to rid myself of it; the restraints that prevented me from doing so biting cruelly in to the soft flesh of my wrists even as I arched myself from the bed, the high pitched sound of alarms piercing my already aching head as I silently screamed for him to help me, needing him to find me, to save me just this one last time as scalding tears streamed down my face only to become instantly chilled against my skin.""

Scully is traumatized while recovering from her experience; but Mulder is there (as always) to comfort and reassure.

@danascullysrationalism/ARoadInCapeCod's Whatever's Left

""For too long, she had been his ripcord.... She would always bring him up and out. Alive.... It had saved him too many times when he wandered too far in the ticks of light that led him astray. She was the storm that let him live. He always knew there was something righteous inside her.

This was all he could do to thank her.""

Scully is lost in her recovery, knowing she can't follow Mulder forever; and Mulder is lost watching her recover, knowing he can't give her more.

chezamanda's The Five Times Fox Mulder Didn’t Tell Dana Scully He Loved Her (and the One Time He Did)

""Now here they are, still together even though it feels like the world is constantly trying to keep them apart. If I quit now, they win.

FTF (amongst other seasons) Mulder ruminates thrice on his awe of and love for Scully.

Singing_Violin's This I Can Do

""We are so cold. But she is alive. I am thankful for that."" 

The one thing that Fox Mulder can do is hold Dana Scully.

@broadcastnews1987/audries/@kennedyandheidi/inkspl0tchess's (WBM 1/2/3)

string theory (or seven times dana scully wore fox mulder's clothes)

""be careful,” she thinks she says as the medics move them into the helicopter. the voice in her head is cool, detached, precise. hypothermia demands gentle treatment, it says. he needs me, she tries to tell them, he told me so. she doesn’t know why they won’t let her hold his hand.

two days later and he is slouching in her doorway wearing sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. he tilts his head to wait for permission and she uncurls her fingers to open her palm like a flower.""

Scully's hypothermia hinders her responses but not her resolve-- to care for and stay with her partner.

DanaScully77's Delirium

""Dearie, you really shouldn’t be speaking.” The nurse is kind with a calming hand on his chest. “Do you remember what happened?”

Mulder shakes his head no. His eyes are pleading with the nurse, confusion too thick in his brain to make sense of anything around him. All that keeps ringing in his mind is that Scully is hurt and that he needs to get to her.

“You both were found in Antarctica by a team of scientists exploring disturbances in the ice. Do you remember how you got there?”

Flashes of alien testing tubes fill his mind and his jaw opens. “Scully."" 

The Unnatural Mulder remembers comforting Scully during the events of FTF. Now, they enjoy hot cocoa at his apartment, happy.

@frogsmulder/Brynstein's Chapter 1: Post Fight the Future

""Mulder, it's me."

He couldn't help but let a laugh go down the line. "Never have I heard sweeter words, Scully."

"Mulder?" The was a pause of quiet, no doubt filled by the rise of a singular eyebrow. "Have you just taken your meds?""

Post FTF Mulder wanders around, bored, before calling Scully to re-patch his wound.

@mashnotesofthemythopoeic/Penumbra/The_Mythopoeic - Works/Penumbra's X-Files Fiction (Alt., Zuffy's Tripod)

The Cretan Paradox

""No minotaur," she says, as they gain the center.

"Looking for trouble, Scully?" he asks, with some intent. His soft mouth quirks.

Labyrinths, Mulder explains, are convoluted journeys fraught with dead ends and blind passages, and are solved by intuition and creativity. "But a maze is a left-brained puzzle." He looks down at her, eyes narrow and warm in the afternoon light. Not unlike you, his eyes say.""

Post FTF Mulder takes Scully to a maze, showing her how to always escape it and leading up to his tentative movie night invite.

AUs

@oceanofthesky/noifsandsorbees’s White Noise (Ao3)

""She smiles and she laughs. A lot.” Mulder says suddenly, and his eyes are faraway, lit up and peaceful. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“What are you talking about, Mulder?”

“Scully. The rare moments when she lets herself be happy. It’s really something.""

Mulder and Scully may resolve things between them in the hallway, but she's still reassigned. Many phone calls, doubts, and insecurities plague their long-term relationship, deeply rooted by the time they're reunited.

@starwalker42 (Ao3

can't stay awake

""Underneath our cocoon of blankets, trembling fingers wrap around mine. I barely feel the contact, but I’m glad for it all the same. It’s not lost on me that not an hour ago, she was frozen in ice on the brink of death, and now she’s the one comforting me. She’s too good at this – looking after me when she’s the one in pain. I know I don’t deserve Dana Scully. I certainly don’t deserve to die next to her. But I’m glad that if I have to go, I get to go like this.""  

Mulder keeps a slurring Scully awake by bantering about penguins; but the two of them soon slow on the ice, dropping a love you before they succumb to sleep.

@o6666666's (Ao3) Prompts 1, 2, and 83

""He came with a big bottle of aloe, planning to paint her cheeks with it. How funny that his conscientious Scully should get sunburned in the dog days of August from lying out on the ice. (It wasn’t funny.)

They’d brought her all the way to Antarctica in her skirt suit. He pictured the henchmen in their parkas and gloves and boots, none of them caring how she shivered.""

Mulder's guilt over his ice-burned, clingy Scully almost destroys the potential between them. She sees past his reticence and reassures.

2plumsandagherkin's Like You Wanted to

""Do you remember anything that happened… in the hallway?” he asked, tentatively.

“No, what happened in the hallway?”

He explained about her getting stung by the bee and the ambulance crew taking her and trying to shoot him, but she had the feeling he was leaving something out."" 

Scully doesn't recall the hallway incident until later, rushing over to Mulder's and affirming her love.

@frostbitepandaaaaa/FrostbitePanda’s Four Days AU

""If she had just followed her parents’ wishes... she would be laying in a king bed right now. Safe in some boring suburb with a dog and perhaps even some handsome husband watching reruns of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and idly wondering what it would feel like to be a pioneer, a woman planted on the edge of the unknown, spread before her vast and endless and hers for the taking. 

That’s what Mulder gave her— a borderless realm, a fertile landscape lain with both the dreadful and the sublime.

“I’ve always felt… that it should interest me. That… in order to be a real person in the world, I needed to want those things.” She shakes her head, tilted back on the seat, staring at the riveted ceiling, beaded with condensation. 

A great breath shifts out of him, but he says nothing. 

“But the only thing that has ever made me feel like a real person, Mulder, is you."" 

While trapped in the Snocat for four days, Mulder and Scully reopen their hallway discussion and plan for a first date that is not over file cabbage packaged meals. Diana tries to throw a wrench in that; but Skinner is not going to sit idly by at the FBi shindig.

Ann Ripley's Any Resemblance

""The chip was reinserted and her health steadily improved. I know this because I was able to watch the process through a two-way mirror.... They cured her but also filtered out all her memory of our work, our partnership, our love.

Anna's recovery and future safety was the price I paid for my silence. Any subsequent investigation into the consortium or revelation of colonization plans would result in the cancer's return. It was not too high a price to pay. I would do it again in a second.

The show debuted a year after Mrs. Spriggs wheeled Anna out of the consortium-run hospital and started a new life.""

FTF was based on the life of two real people; but the fact was separated from fiction after the unhappy reality. The man who Mulder was based on watches the show, ruminating on all that never and really was.

Enjoy!

[loverofallthingssarah]

Just a cup of coffee

Alex Cabot x reader

Based off an anonymous ask but a little different spin

Word count: 700+

A/N: just my terrible writing and mistakes as always

Everyday, like clockwork, you rounded the corner to none other than ADA Alexandra Cabot’s office with a scalding cup of coffee in one hand and an iced cap in the other. If anyone asked, it was just convenient to pick up Alex’s order it was on your way, right? Not quite. Little did anyone know what you would give to spend just one more second with the beautiful blonde who stole you heart with just one look. For God's sake, you didn’t even work for the bureau, and trust the gang at the bull pin never let you forget it.

Today was different, Olivia called you in early and your first thought was getting Alex her coffee. Today she was just going to have to get it early. You hurried to get ready and make your way to the Starbucks across the street from your apartment, and BAM… a rogue bicycled road right over your foot racing off to work. A quick ‘sorry’ was yelled over their shoulder as you yelped.

“Shit!” you yelled out in the crowded streets of New York. You limped off to a bench slinging every surge work in the book as you did.

Your cell started ringing, “Hello?” you asked.

“Where the hell are you, Y/L/N?” Liv yelled.

You explained your situation and she called over a bus to pick you up to take you in for x-rays to be on the safe side. It hadn’t even occurred to you that a certain unobtainable blonde was on the other side of the city waiting for you.

Alex sat in her office tapping her pen away at the stack of paperwork sat in front of her. Every noise she heard outside her door she looked up in disappointment when it wasn’t you. After the 20th time, she began to worry. It wasn’t like you to just not show. Even if you were in a hurry, and it was just a quick hand off. You always showed up.

“Hey, Alex. How did the arraignment go?”

Alex huffed at Liv, “Fine. Have you seen Y/N?”

She replied, “No. She’s at Mercy with a sprained ankle. I asked if she needed me to go by but she said she was fi-,” Alex didn’t even wait for her to reply as she rushed to grab her things and flew out of her office.

You were grumbling on your hospital bed angrily waiting for your release. The door to your room was pushed open and you looked up about to yell at the nurse again to release you, but the woman before you was not your nurse.

“Alex?” you asked as she rushed to your bedside and buried her face in your neck in a tight hug. “I was so worried about you, Y/N! Don’t you dare do that to me again! Do you hear me?”

“Alex, I twisted my ankle. I didn’t burst my eye drum. Please, calm down.” She rolled her eyes as she leaned up to look at you without dropping her arms from around you. “I’m serious, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you,” she looked down blushing, refusing to elaborate further.

You took your hand and lifted her chin to look at you, “Hey, I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

She nodded and smiled the most genuine smile you had ever seen. She pulled you closer and held you until a nurse finally brought in your discharge papers.

Alex reluctantly took you back to the precinct after much begging from you. She helped limp your way inside and over to the elevators.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” you said as the doors opened. Alex smiled, and as you turned to make your way onto the lift, you felt her hand pulling you back in. As you head turned back around, you felt her lips connect with yours in the most passionate yet gentle kiss you had ever received. Once air became necessary, you both broke away just staring into each other's eyes.

Alex whispered, “You can count on it.” She winked at you before walking off blissfully.

You yelled back, “Coffee, tomorrow?”

She giggled, “I’ll count on it.”

sfw taglist: @oh-mydarling @rainbow-hedgehog @peggycarter-steverogers @citizenoftheworld-stuff-blog @lanawinters-ily @lntlmate @sapphicforsarahh @strawberryshorttcakkee @dreamypqulson @goodeday2u @winters-witch-bitch

[imamxdel]

a brief update on life and the blog (contains medical stuff)

If you don't want to read, I kindly ask for your prayers :)

Brief introduction: my name is Liv, I'm 27, and I'm an orthopedic/ocology nurse in Florida. Diagnosis with an unknown cause of myocarditis (heart inflammation) in August 2023.

I was expected to make a full recovery within 2 months. January rolls around, I'm still sick. April rolls around, I'm even sicker and they finally test me for an autoimmune disease. Let's roll to today where in 3 days they'll finally give me a diagnosis and treatment for lupus induced myocarditis. Long story short, I have a severe autoimmune condition that is attacking and actively killing my heart.

I'll save the details, but over the last nearly 11 months, I've been in the hospital 6 times and admitted for 2 of them with no answers. This last one was 3 days and I underwent a cardiac cauterization, which is something they do for people who have heart attacks. Luckily, there doesn't seem to appear to be any permanent damage despite my heart levels being the highest I've ever seen in my career.

Bad news is that over the last year, I've suffered intense chest pain that makes it difficult to breathe, my ankles are swelling, and I have no energy and life just overall sucks. I surprisingly never stopped working. However, being a bedside nurse taking care of actively dying cancer patients is just mentally exhausting and one week ago, I finally hit the breaking point and sobbed in the bathroom before my shift started. I still don't have the details, but I've requested an extended leave of absence from work.

In 3 days, I'll finally have an answer. My doctor already warned me that treatment will be intense. I'll be undergoing chemotherapy.

But, hey, guess what? I'm an oncology nurse and guess what I do for a living?

This last year has been exhausting. It's been the worst. I'm very blessed to say that I've never suffered from any mental illness or depression, but in the last three months I really think that's what I've felt. Nothing makes me happy that used to, I've stopped cleaning my condo (and I'm a minimalist who hates clutter btw), my eating habits are trash, I can't exercise since my heart gives out, and I've completely isolated myself from my friends and my wonderfully supportive family. Every time i do go out, I just bring them down, too.

And guess who bought a condo literally one week before this all went down? I'm not in a safe financial position to stop working for a long time, but I can for a brief time. I'm thankful to be where I am in the sense of good healthcare and a small emergency fund.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that my life this last year has been bad, but the last three months have been the worst, so my activity on this blog has been sporadic and inconsistent. I know my writing quality has gone down; I can't apologize for getting sick, just know that soon I can have some answers and recover to get back to where I was.

My faith has taken the hardest hit. I am a firm Christian and I believe in the power of prayer. I'd really appreciate a prayer from everyone, even if you don't believe, it would still mean a lot.

[bulimic-x-kittens]

finally the FAQ's answers

did you know liv?

yes for a short time we followed each other on tumblr about 2 months before she passed, my original blog was words-have-consequences (which has been suspended since 2013 where liv's & mine conversions were, losing my account devastated me because that was where my pieces of liv were), i used the blog where i expressed my dark & sad feelings, s*cidal thoughts & that. she reached out to me first & we just conversed up until about 2 weeks before her last hospitalization, we talked about how we experienced similar traumas & i was later diagnosed with similar diagnosis's as liv was.

do you talk to liv's parents?

yes, not as often as in the beginning but usually around the holidays, liv's birthday & from march 28 to april 3. kellie, alex & i all follow each other on instagram.

do they know you run this blog?

we talked before where kellie & warren asked me to reveal who i was, during a situation on tumblr many years ago & they gave me a decision to shut the blog down in respect to them or take down the personal pictures & that. i decided to take the personal pictures down & only post the ones available on google or what they posted themselves to respect their wishes. i have messaged kellie today (april 3/24) to remind her that i run this blog still & reaching out to the others i have on social media.

why don't you post anymore?

due to the respect to kellie & warren i only post what they post on their memorial page on facebook (link here), their wishes to not use liv for likes or popularity which is not the reason for this page in the first place, it's just a memorial page for those who knew liv outside of tumblr & from tumblr & who discovered her story at a later time. so i only post mostly on her birthday & on april 3rd & may 1st.

who are you?

i'm justice, i ran words-have-consequences, after that blog got suspended i made prisoner-of-her-memories which i still have but haven't opened the account in a loooooong time. i'm @justicegrelowski on instagram.

[rahleeyah]

Do you think that by killing off Kathy instead of a divorce between her and Elliot, that El is still not "choosing" Liv? That when EO get together it's more of Elliot being "well my wife's dead so I guess I'll be with you". For many fans the choice of killing her off was not the best choice for the reason I state, and cause to fridge a female character is gross too.

What are your thoughts? Hopefully you understand what I am saying.

No, I don't think that.

I know a lot of people feel that way, but as we've discussed on this blog before I really do feel that Elliot couldn't choose Liv over Kathy while Kathy was still alive, not least bc Olivia wouldn't let him. And yes, of course, he could've gotten divorced from Kathy and then turned up looking for Olivia - and it would've been interesting to see Olivia be able to really vent her anger at him in those early days - but there's something....off, if Kathy's still around. She's still such a source of insecurity for Liv - does Elliot really want Olivia more, did he only come to Olivia bc Kathy finally got rid of him (which is essentially the same as only coming to Liv bc Kathy died, maybe even worse), has Olivia taken something from Elliot's family, do the kids resent her, etc - and Olivia's own reticence I think gets in the way too much if Kathy is alive. Olivia has been telling herself that Elliot is someone else's husband for so long that even a divorce isn't enough to nudge her, I don't think; it certainly didn't the first time. And yes the first time they were still partners but this time he's left her for a decade (why is he only coming back now? Isn't Liv still a consolation prize in this version?) and if she leaps straight into her anger without those months of caring for him maybe they don't ever recover.

And like what's the timeline. Elliot comes for the ceremony while still married to Kathy and Liv is furious and he leaves Kathy? Idk about that. Elliot gets divorced and only then turns up? Yeah I don't love that either.

And yeah, obviously, fridging is a serious issue that we do need to talk about but also characters have to die sometimes. We can't just never have a character die, never have the other characters experience loss; that's ignoring a whole vast swath of human emotion that does need to be explored in media. And if you're gonna kill someone off so that you can talk about grief and trauma and love and healing, pragmatically you're gonna kill a side character. Bc you want to keep your mains around for later. You need your mains. They're the story.

On the one hand, it would've been nice to see Kathy stand up for herself and go out and make a new life and not be beholden to Elliot. On the other hand, life doesn't give us all happy endings. Kathy had just as many choices as Elliot did. She asked him to come to bed, she asked - pushed - him to come back to raise Eli. She was happy in Rome. With him. Maybe Kathy didn't want another life. Maybe she wanted her husband - she worked hard enough to keep him - and maybe her ending is tragic, but life is tragic. A man looking at his cell phone while driving hit my mother head on and we spent a week in the hospital with her, jumping every time her eyelashes fluttered even tho we knew there was no activity in her brain. In the perfect story, her eyes would've opened. She would've woken up. We wouldn't have lost her. We did. The story doesn't have a happy ending. We stumble thru our grief. I kind of like it when the stories I consume reflect things I've felt in my own heart; it helps learn to name my emotions, and find connection and solace in the knowledge that I am not alone in feeling them.

Not every story has a happy ending. Kathy's didn't. That's not a crime imo.

[jostystyles]

I posted 6,041 times in 2022

922 posts created (15%)

5,119 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@comphyjost

@cinnamoncowboy

@jostystyles

@reputation

I tagged 3,810 of my posts in 2022

Only 37% of my posts had no tags

#emmie speaks - 601 posts

#avs lb - 296 posts

#asks - 295 posts

#anon - 128 posts

#fic rec - 92 posts

#tyson jost - 90 posts

#soulmate tag - 56 posts

#lanie - 44 posts

#isles lb - 42 posts

#‼️ dilf alert ‼️ - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

306 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

#4

bestie pls we NEED bob twin dad because it’s lichrally so personal to me 🤍🤍 🫶🏻 xx liv callsignbob

oh liv you do not understand the feralness this unlocked in me. twin dad bob lives in my brain rent free. @callsignbob

Bob could count on one hand the number of days he considered to be the best of his life. The day he graduated from the Naval Academy, the day he met (Y/N), their wedding day, and the day the twins were born.

Maisy Jane and Franklin Max were born about 2 weeks ago, after a long and stressful labor for both parents.

Since the twins had been earthside, Bob doesn’t think he’s had a dry eye for more than an hour or he was asleep. It had been a whirlwind of emotions, from the terrifying moment (Y/N)’s water broke a few weeks early, to being at the hospital, and each anticipating moment until they could hold their babies for the first time. They had decided to wait on finding out the genders of the twins, deciding on picking out a variety of names to choose from. The Dagger Squad had even come to the Floyd residence to help put together the nursery, where Bob stood right now.

He often found himself standing above the crib, just watching the babies in awe, and wondering how he got so lucky.

“Hi, sweet girl.” He said, reaching down and stroking Maisy’s cheek with his pointer finger, gently as if she was made of glass. She rustled slightly in her sleep, a soft groan sounding from her tiny body. Bob let out a soft chuckle before turning to his son, who laid on the other side of the divider in the crib. Franklin was laid in a similar position to his sister, and seemed to let out a groan in response to hers. Smiling to himself, Bob knew he’d have his hands full with these two.

But he wouldn’t want it any other way. He felt a pair of hands slide around his waist and a pair of lips on his neck, the sweet giggle of his wife like music to his ears.

“I could watch them sleep all day. They’re so tiny, Bobby.” she whispered.

“I know, mama. Only going to get bigger from here, though.” He replied, which earned him a small smack to the stomach.

“Let me enjoy them while they’re this little, Robert.” (Y/N) scolded jokingly. “Can you believe we made them? Like, they’re two living breathing humans that I carried inside me for 8 months.”

“It’s wild to think, darlin. I’ve waited for them since the moment you told me we were having ‘em. Two little products of our love. Can’t get better than that, huh?” Bob spoke sweetly, turning his head to meet his wife’s eyes.

(Y/N) responded by tilting her head upwards to kiss her husband, uttering a soft I love you, before they were broken apart by the waking babies.

As he scooped his bleary eyed daughter into his arms, ready to start the day, Bob was grateful for whatever he did in a past life to earn the one he had right now.

He used to always think (Y/N) would be the only love of his life. But that all changed the second Maisy and Franklin came into the picture. Bob always dreamed of starting his own version of a Floyd family growing up, and to have that be true in this moment with those 3? He was the luckiest man in the world.

bob night!

a/n: this is kind of bad bc i’m really tired but it also made me very soft and i am willing to explore more of this little floyd family if it is welcomed.

337 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#3

enemies to lovers hc's | rf

a/n: im not sorry for this. these came straight from the gc with @lt-natrace and @rhettabbotts and bc im too lazy to write a fic, here's some headcanons we came up with during this mornings brain rot <3 also reader's callsign is yankee bc im self projecting and from ny. i also got really carried away and this is so long i’m sorry. thank u to @mayhem24-7forever and @topguncortez for beta-ing this too!

~ no one understands how you could possibly hate bob. its bob. he's a total sweetheart, the quiet one. but not to you.

~ to you, he's snarky, and there's just something about him that gets under your skin.

~ you're no picnic to him either. he tried to befriend you, a fellow WSO, from the start. but he was met with a blank stare and a scowl. two can play at this game, he thought.

~ it all started one of the very first nights at The Hard Deck. already unamused with the pissing contest between hangman and rooster, you've stuck to phoenix's side as you've flown with her before but aren't paired together for this mission

~ you've heard of her backseater's reputation, and were eager to meet him. someone at your level, who understands the role and loves it just as much as you do. and by the looks of it, he looked like he might be different from the male pilots you've worked with in the past

~ and not to mention he's really fucking hot.

~ but as soon as he cracks a distasteful joke, one that rubs you the wrong way and somehow takes a jab at your ability to fly like him, you're done. so you give him the cold shoulder and think to yourself, he's just like the rest.

~ but that doesn't stop you from trying to impress him, because for some reason you may have developed a crush on him. but after a while, that crush turned to nothing but pure hatred.

~ bob makes your life a living hell. he makes it a point to criticize every little thing you do, and soon enough it became a battle to see who the better wizzo would be.

~ "god, you're fucking insufferable. you really can't keep your mouth shut, can you? you're clogging the damn radio Yankee." he spat. "Bob." Phoenix piped in, but was ignored as you responded. "I've got to get Coyote's attention somehow, asshole. back off."

~ the rest of the squad is used to your bantering, but it never went passed jabs at each others abilities, or other meaningless characteristics.

~ none of it went unnoticed by phoenix, though. she could see right through the snide remarks and icy glares. she knows you. she remembers the blush that crossed your face the first time you laid eyes on bob, and she remembers the way your face fell after his joke went over your head.

~ she knows bob. she knows that he thinks highly of you and is impressed with your work. and that he has the dryest sense of humor known to man, and that he thought you were stuck up after you didn't laugh at his joke.

~ she sees the longing glances bob gives you when you aren't looking. the ones where he stares at you, laughing with fanboy, in that beautiful sundress that flows so perfectly around your curves. and he's angry with how beautiful you look, and how happy you are in that moment, and he's angry because he wonders why can't i be like that with her

~ he wasn't good with feelings. and you were mean to him, so he was mean back. but maybe one night he takes it too far.

~ you've mentioned in passing and in group that your parents struggle with your line of work, and it's taken a toll on your relationship with them. so after a long day of flying and picking fights with each other, you're both exhausted. and of course that tiredness turns to anger, and anger is an emotion you and bob know best with each other.

~ bob's fed up. fed up with himself, and flying, and mav's drills, and you. it's always you.

~ "god after missing that target, it’s no wonder your parents aren’t proud of you” he regrets it as soon as he says it. a surprised "woah" is elicited by rooster, as you stop in your tracks. “you’re a real asshole, floyd” you say, voice shaky, before you turn on your heel and dart away.

~ phoenix grabs bob's arm, pulling him back as the rest of the pilots move along. "what the fuck was that, bob? you know, this little rivaly you and yankee had was cute at first, but it's gotten out of hand lately. coming for her like that? brining her parents into it when you know what their relationship is like? that's a low blow. especially coming from you. you need to take some time and think about whatever this little thing means, because its obvious you've got something else going on." she says, leaving him standing on the tarmac. he waits there for a minute, ashamed. bob feels his jaw twitch before he heads back inside

~ he knows he has to man up and apologize. he didn't mean it, he was frustrated. frustrated with his feelings, and the mission. but his words shoot to kill when he's mad. he has a lot of regrets about that. (thank u to jay for killing me with that)

~ the next day, as he plans to apologize to you, he approaches with caution. he waits for you to say something, anything, but the moment never comes. you don't say a word to him, just leave him with a second long look, full of pain and something else he can't place.

~ it goes on like this for the next few days. no more snide remarks, scowls, or fighting. just stolen glances that don’t go unnoticed by your teammates.

~ in between drills, bob walked past an empty classroom put paused when he heard your voice.

~ “i thought he was different, javy. i don’t know. i’ll get over it.”

~ bob couldn’t help but feel yet another pant of jealousy. he knew you were talking about him. and to confide that in coyote? you were a lot closer than he thought, and he felt stupid for how much he hated that.

~ he decided to stay on base a little later than usual that night, catching up on some reading and drill planning. as he was packing up his bag, he heard some yelling, a loud clatter, and a scream that sounded all too familiar. running into the hallway, he bounced his head around until he found the site of the incident. his heart dropped to his stomach as he spotted you, crouched against the wall, shaking, blood dripping down your face mixing with the tears that were also falling. there was broken glass next to you, a shattered frame. he ran faster than his feet could take him, stumbling before he landed on the ground next to you.

~ startled, you look up through teary eyes to see the last person you’d expect to come to your rescue. bob looks at you with an expression you can’t decipher, one of concern mixed with rage. he reached gently to wipe your tears, uttering a soft, “who did this to you?”

~ "no one, just some new recruits ran by and knocked me into the wall, the picture fell down and hit me on the way. i'm fine." you said, breathily. "no, you're not or you wouldn't be crying and bleeding. let me help you." bob said, standing up and reaching his hand down to help you up. rolling your eyes, you took his hand to stand up, ignoring the fluttering in your tummy as your hand clasped his.

See the full post

502 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

#2

Bob night Bob night Bob night aheeem

“How many drinks have you had?”

🤧

*chants* bob night! bob night! bob night!

There were 3 things that (Y/N) loved more than anything. Her cat, her fiance Bob, and sleep. She loved sleep. And those close to her knew not to mess with her when she was tired, or about to go to sleep.

So when she awoke at 2 am to the sound of her phone ringing, she was not happy. reaching out from under the blanket, she grabbed her phone to see who dared try to reach her at an ungodly hour. Upon seeing the caller ID, she came to remember.

Oh fuck.

If Rooster was calling her at this hour tonight, something must've happened.

"Hello? 'S the matter Rooster?" She mumbled, voice full of sleep and concern.

"Hey, (Y/N)? Look, I know how much you hate being bothered during the night, and I'm really sorry, but none of us can get him to move." Bradley said with a sigh.

"The fuck are you talking about? What do you mean you can't get him to move?" (Y/N) questioned.

"Well, we're trying to call the uber to take us home, and uh, we might have let Bob drink too much. He's refusing to get off the curb unless you come get him. He punched Hangman in the balls and said he's not getting into a lady's car unless it's yours."

Bradley could hear (Y/N) groan and mumble something under her breath. Then he heard a little bit of rustling before she spoke. "He's lucky I love him. I'll see you soon, can you airdrop me your location?"

Rooster chuckled, "Copy that, Missus. Sorry again."

"Don't apologize for my fiance's drunk simping, Roo."

About 15 minutes later, a bleary eyed Bob was having a heated argument with what he thought was Hangman, who had since been picked up, before he was torn from the conversation by a yawning Rooster.

"Hey, Bobby boy. Ride's here." Bradley told him with a light forehead slap.

"Wha?" Bob replied, before coming face to face with his fiancee.

"Jesus, Bobby. How many drinks have you had?" (Y/N) giggled, trying to hold up Bob as he stumbled into her arms.

"I don't know baby, but boy, I had such a great night. I know it was a bachelor party but I wish you were here, honey, and they tried to get me to go in some lady's car and I said I won't do that I'm only loyal to one person and she's waiting for me at home, my best girl, and now you're here!" Bob rambled, as (Y/N) and Rooster helped him get into the car.

"Thanks again for calling me, Bradley. I'm sorry he's such a dope."

"No problem at all, (Y/N). He loves you a lot, you know. I'm glad guys are getting hitched." He replied with a smile.

"Yeah, I love him too I guess." She joked, "You need a ride?" Nah, I'm only a block away. See you later, kid."

As she climbed back into her car, Bob was going off on a tangent about something she couldn't quite understand.

"I love you so much, you know that (Y/N)?" He said much clearer, his hand reaching over to grab her free one.

"I know, baby, I love you too. You tired?" She said, glancing over at him.

He was unable to answer, as he had fallen asleep just as fast as she had asked the question.

bob night!

665 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

they’re the same.

2,121 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[patientselftesting6732]

Where Can I Get My INR Checked: Benefits of Regular Monitoring

For individuals on anticoagulant therapy, regular monitoring of the International Normalized Ratio (INR) is crucial. This measure helps ensure that blood clotting times are within the desired range, reducing the risk of complications such as bleeding or thrombosis. Understanding "Where can I get my INR checked" and the benefits of regular monitoring is essential for maintaining optimal health. In this blog, we will explore various options for INR testing, the importance of regular monitoring, and how you can integrate it into your healthcare routine.

Understanding INR and Its Importance

INR is a standardized measure used to determine how long it takes for blood to clot. It is especially important for individuals taking warfarin or other anticoagulants, as it helps maintain the delicate balance between preventing blood clots and avoiding excessive bleeding. Regular INR monitoring ensures that medication dosages are effective and safe.

Where Can I Get My INR Checked?

. Doctor’s Office

The most common place to get your INR checked is at your doctor’s office. Healthcare professionals can perform the test during a routine visit, ensuring accurate results and immediate adjustments to your medication if necessary. Regular appointments also provide an opportunity to discuss any concerns or side effects you may be experiencing.

. Laboratories

Many medical laboratories offer INR testing services. You can visit a lab with a prescription from your healthcare provider, and the results are usually sent directly to your doctor. This option is convenient for those who may not have frequent appointments but still need regular monitoring.

. Pharmacies

Some pharmacies provide INR testing services, often without the need for an appointment. This can be a convenient option for quick checks between doctor visits. Pharmacists can also offer advice on managing your medication and lifestyle changes to support your treatment.

. Home Testing Kits

Home testing kits are becoming increasingly popular for INR monitoring. These kits allow you to check your INR levels from the comfort of your home using a small, portable device. The results are immediate, and many devices can connect to your healthcare provider’s system for easy data sharing. Home testing provides flexibility and encourages more frequent monitoring.

Benefits of Regular INR Monitoring

. Ensures Medication Effectiveness

Regular INR checks ensure that your anticoagulant medication is working effectively. If your INR is too low, you may be at risk for blood clots, whereas a high INR can lead to excessive bleeding. Frequent monitoring helps maintain the correct dosage and reduces the risk of complications.

. Reduces Emergency Risks

By regularly checking your INR, you can prevent emergency situations related to blood clots or bleeding. Early detection of any irregularities allows for prompt adjustments to your medication, keeping you safe and reducing the likelihood of hospital visits.

. Empowers Patients

Knowing where to get your INR checked and having the ability to monitor it regularly empowers patients to take an active role in their healthcare. Understanding your INR levels and how they fluctuate with diet, lifestyle, and medication can help you make informed decisions and improve your overall health management.

. Enhances Communication with Healthcare Providers

Frequent INR monitoring enhances communication with your healthcare providers. It provides them with up-to-date information about your condition, enabling them to make timely and accurate adjustments to your treatment plan. This collaborative approach improves the effectiveness of your care.

. Improves Quality of Life

Regular INR monitoring can significantly improve your quality of life. It provides peace of mind, knowing that your medication is working correctly and that you are minimizing the risks associated with anticoagulant therapy. Consistent monitoring helps you live a more active and worry-free life.

Knowing where to get your INR checked and understanding the benefits of regular monitoring is essential for anyone on anticoagulant therapy. Whether you choose to visit your doctor’s office, a laboratory, a pharmacy, or use a home testing kit, the key is to stay consistent with your monitoring routine. Regular INR checks ensure your medication is effective, reduce emergency risks, and empower you to take control of your health.

At PatientSelfTesting, we provide reliable and convenient home INR testing solutions. Our goal is to make regular INR monitoring accessible and straightforward, helping you maintain optimal health and peace of mind. Explore our services today and take the first step towards better health management with PatientSelfTesting.

By focusing on where to get your INR checked and the benefits of regular monitoring, you can enhance your health management, ensuring a safer and more effective anticoagulant therapy regimen.

[rsfannan6]

Day One: We start the Peddars Way

The Peddars Way is a wonderful ever changing, easy graded, 46 mile long distance walk starting from the pretty woodland of Knettishall Heath just outside of Thetford, through to open countryside, along quiet lanes, and Roman roads eventually leading to the North Norfolk coast at Hunstanton.  This is our fifth walk here in the U.K.  It dates to 61 AD, when it was used by the Romans to defeat Celtic tribes which had inhabited much of which is now Mid Norfolk.  In the 15th and 16th century, this route was named Peddars Way in honor of the pilgrims and traders who walked to the religious village of Walsingham and the priory there.  We picked it as it is somewhat easy for those of us who are a wee bit long-in-the-tooth.

A note here about jet lag.  After a long day of travel to get from the west coast of the good ole USA, Diane and I, along with the rest of our group had no problem falling asleep.  For me, the sleep of death descended almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.  Regretfully, this did not last long.  3:00 am rolled around and both Diane and I were wide awake.  This did give me the opportunity of working on this blog in the hours before breakfast.  

Our group of eight had a delightful meal, and it was not long before a van rolled up to take us to the embarkation point of our journey.  The start of the trail, Knettishal Heath, was a five mile ride outside of Thetford, and David, our driver, whisked us there in no time at all.  

Today’s walk would be the shortest at 6.5 miles.  Piece of cake.  The well marked trail took us through  a beautiful forest populated by all sorts of ferns and trees as well as thousands of lavender Digitalis or Foxglove plants.  Simply gorgeous.  

We did have to watch our step as sometimes the path became quite narrow with many thorny inhabitants such as stinging nettles and the dirty-evil Hogweed which had sent Diane to the hospital on our walk down the Thames River Path eight years ago.  Our caution paid off as all of our group came away unscathed. 

Much of the path was easy going, but things got a bit dicey as the trail narrowed and our pace slowed down considerably.  On these cross country endeavors, it is hard to average more that about 2 miles an hour, and when you are basically making your way through brush and overhanging branches, 1 mph is about all you are able to achieve.  But, the weather was ok and basically it is just one foot after another.

We passed a recreational area called Forest Holidays, where cabins are available to rent along with a small cafe as well as a pretty cool looking disc golf course.  Just past this is where the weather turned sour.  And, if that were not bad enough, the trail was flooded, halting our progress.  Stopping at the cafe to assess our options, we enlisted the advice of Liv, the friendly forest ranger.  What a saint.  She told us to hang out, have a coffee, and she would go see how bad the flood was, and return with her recommendations.  About a half hour later, she returned.  We could either add 2 miles to our journey and walk around the problem venturing on the highway or take off our shoes and socks, roll up our pants and wade through the water and slime in the four areas that impeded our progress.  We decided  to brave the slime.

All was ok until the rain started, becoming quite heavy at times.  We got soaked.  And mind you, what was going to be a short walk was not even half over.  Very slow going in the next hour.  Very slippery making our way through the flooded areas.  But, we were buoyed by the group effort, laughing our way through this setback.  Fortunately, the rain abated, and it was not long before we were back in our shoes and socks, enjoying the sun which dried us out.  

The forest morphed into rolling pastures populated by hog farms and fields of potatoes and vegetables.  

On most of our other walks, we would simply go from inn to inn.  But on this particular adventure, the towns and villages we passed through are few and far between with no facilities to house 8 travelers.  So, our hosts, Let’s Go Walking UK, had arranged for us to be transported by taxi to and from inns that could accommodate our group.  As we finally ended our first day’s journey, two cabs arrived to take us back to our digs in Thetford.  We would be spending the night again at The Bell Hotel.   Kinda funny how these things work out.  After our 6.5 mile trek had morphed into over 9 miles over a period of 6 hours, the ride back to Thetford took about 15 minutes.  Tired and weary but in good spirits, we had a rollicking good dinner and cocktails back at The Bell.  

It was D Day, which is a big deal in this part of the world, so we went to the center of town to witness what can only be called an underwhelming commemoration.  Sort of sad.  We topped off our day by singing and playing ukulele on the terrace outside of our hotel.  

We can only wonder what tomorrow will bring when the stakes go up a bit as we embark on a 10 mile venture to our next destination. 

More to come……

[tampatom12]

Law and Order: SVU and the Bradelman of it All

Ok, so for those that are unaware, I am a BIG Law and Order: SVU fan.

I absoutley adore Olivia Benson, Elliot Stabler and most of the other characters who have been involved with the show.

That having been said:

In 2011, actor Christopher Meloni's contract was not renewed. Chris had played Elliot Stabler for 12 years at that point and unfortunatly left because the studio/Dick Wolf were not giving him what he deserved.

This left actress Mariska Hargitay, and her character Olivia Benson, REELING. Mariska and as a result, Olivia, struggled deeply with his absence.

Cut to:

April 1st, 2021, aka the day that Chris and Elliot returned to the Law and Order world!!!!

This was the first time in TEN YEARS that Benson and Stabler had seen or even SPOKEN to each other!!!!!

Eventually, in the second half of the episode, they found themselves in a hospital waiting room where they had a LONG overdue conversation about him leaving:

Elliot Stabler: Liv, I'm sorry. Olivia Benson: Elliot, we don't have to do this. [seeing the pain in his eyes] Olivia Benson: Okay. I guess... you wanna do this now. You're sorry for leaving? Or are you sorry for walking... for not giving me the courtesy of telling me? Elliot Stabler: Both. I think I thought if I talked to you about how... Olivia Benson: You walked away. 'Cause that's what you did, Elliot. I had to find out from Cragen. Elliot Stabler: Olivia. Olivia Benson: Elliot. You were the most... single most important person in my life... Elliot Stabler: Olivia. Olivia Benson: And you just... disappeared. Elliot Stabler: I know. I was afraid... if I heard your voice, I wouldn't have been able to leave.

Dialogue directly from the official IMDB page

So...!!

What does all of THIS (⬆⬆⬆⬆) have to do with me posting about this on my NFL side blog instead of my main???

Well, I'm glad you asked!!! :D

You see, I've been thinking about this scene a lot lately in a Tom and Julian context.

As we ALL know, Tom left the Patriots back in 2020, thus leaving Julian behind (while also reuniting with Rob). At the end of episode one, season two of his podcast Games With Names, Julian talked about how Tom didn't even tell him that he was leaving before he left...apperantly, Jules found out when the rest of the world did and read the news on the bottom of a scrolling news ticker.

As soon as this fact was revealed, I was truly SHOCKED.

Tom and Julian had always had a hella tight bond, so it didn't make much sense as to why Tom would leave without saying even one thing to Julian!!!

I was recently rewatching "The Return of the Prodigal Son"-the official name of Elliot's return episode-when the above scene in particular hit me like a semi truck.

It got me thinking about the 2020 Tom and Julian situation in a different context...

What if Tom was like Elliot??

He didn't speak to Julian about leaving before he left because he was afraid that if he heard Julian's voice, he wouldn't have been able to leave.

As low-key insane as this sounds, I also think that this idea is something that makes a whole lot of sense.

Tom and Julian were very much in love with each other, even though it seems that Julian both fell first and fell harder.

Overall, I do think that Tom is a person who doesn't wanna look back once his mind is made up. Bill didn't wanna give him the security of what he wanted, so it makes a lot of sense why he chose to leave after he offically became a free agent.

At the same time, it's intresting to think about what could have happened if Bill had been willing to work with Tom and give him the deal that he very much deserved.

Julian and New England as a whole would have been thrilled, but I also know that then Rob would not have come out of retirement because I've always gotten the sense that once Rob retired from New England, he was done done with that city, even though it is a large part of who he is.

Alright and now: Here is where everyone is at today, in April of 2024:

-Rob and Julian seem to be tighter than ever. They have been hanging out a lot lately and that is in part due to the fact that they are now both on the Fox Sports Network as part of the team that provides commentary about NFL games.

-Rob has been on Games with Names TWICE already for the second season!! Meanwhile, Tom still hasn't been on once. 😳😵😔

-Rob and Julian seemed to have a FANTASTIC time together while in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl this year!!!

They did a ton of events/press together!!! My favorite parts were when Bounty paper towels gave them matching jackets (it is SO boyfriend/husband/partners for life coded!!!) and when they were at Rob's Gronk Beach event together; specifcally because of this moment ⬇⬇⬇⬇

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Julian Edelman (@edelman11)

-Meanwhile, when he isn't endlessly thirst trapping over on Insta stories, Tom is chillin' and hanging out with his kids, either at his fabulous home or out at some kind of resort for a vacation with them.

-He's also still making episodes for his Let's Go! podcast and of course has been golfing a lot too.

-On top of all of this, he is doing promotions for random businesses; basically anything-literally anything-that he can promote, he has been.

-Most recently, he has teased that he may come back to play in the NFL again, but I don't feel like that's gonna happen for real, even though he clearly loves football so much. (Perhaps too much, but that's another topic for a different blog post. 👀👁👄👁)

-He hasn't been completly ignoring Rob and Julian...he's been liking their posts on Instagram and even sometimes throws a comment in here and there; be it on a post-post or through a simple shout-out via Stories.

-Overall though, he has not been as publicily with them as what Rob and Julian have been seen with each other, which is...fine.

-Obvisouly Tom is a VERY busy man, but it's also intresting to see who and what he priortizes. Of course I understand that his children are always gonna come first, but it also seems as though his various business ventures will come over any/all other relationships, even though I know how much Tom truly does value all of the interpersonal realationships he has built over the years.

-Anyway, for this upcoming NFL season, Tom is going to be a lead commentator on Fox Sports, so that will automatically and offically reunite him with Rob and Julian, which is so, SO exciting to me!!!!

-I hope that this reunion leads to more projects between the three of them!!! Maybe Tom will finally agree to come on Games With Names, who knows.

Sooooo...in Summary:

-Tom left Julian in 2020 and Julian didn't even find out from Tom himself.

-After not seeing or speaking to each other for ten whole years, Elliot Stabler told Olivia Benson that if he would have heard her voice after he left, that he actually would not have been able to leave.

-I have intermingled the two above events in my head to mean that Tom wanted to tell Julian that he was leaving but didn't because he feared that if he did, that he would not have actually left New England/the Patriots for real.

-Julian still misses and loves Tom so much even though he has a fantastic relationship with the one and only Robbie G. 🥺🤧🥰

-Tom has been busy this year hangning out and doing odd things, but WILL reunite with Rob and Julian when he offically enters his Television Broadcasting Career Era.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I have been driving myself a tad insane with all of these thoughts and this post is my way of getting them out!!!! A big thank you to anyone who has stuck around to read all of this; I love and appreciate you more than you know. 😊<3 <3 <3

[akindplace]

Update on recovery:

Posting this picture to show that I finally had the energy to dye my hair! I am loving this bright violet color and might keep it for a while.

Also I am still dealing with acne, but is has gotten a lot better with treatment. It happened as a collateral effect of my pain medicine (along with weight gain).

It really made my self-esteem (which was already low because I am constantly sick) suffer to have severe acne. I have no pictures of how it looked before, but it was so much worse than that. It was all over my face. It's been a month without the medication that caused me the acne and with my new skincare regimen. I decided not to take oral antibiotics because I am already on a lot of medication.

I don't want to be ashamed of the leftover acne and scars, so I am choosing to show my face as it is in the present moment. Especially on this blog, it's important to keep things real.

The weight gain doesn't bother me as much because I am sure that as soon as I become more active, my body will lose some of it. What truly matters it to become more active to have stronger muscles and less back pain (even though the damage that has been done to it is already there, it's not going to change, unless it gets worse and I would have to have surgery).

Honestly, just bleaching and dyeing my hair, doing some haircare and skincare has got me feeling so much more confident! Add to that some red lipstick and a rose scented perfume, and you have a very happy Liv! 💜

I love the colorful hair. It reminds me that I have a rainbow personality, that life itself is so bright and colorful and beautiful. It makes me happy to see all that colorful hair. There are some people who really don't get it, so this is the best way I can explain how looking colorful makes me feel happier, even if it seems "extra". Also, all colors have a meaning, so I usually paint my hair according to the meaning of a color.

According to google: "From a color psychology perspective, purple and violet promote harmony of the mind and the emotions, contributing to mental balance and stability, peace of mind [...]."

I hope you like the color too! I am quite happy with it.

I am very, very slowly making a progress at my mental and physical health, but it is progress nonetheless! Most days are still painful, tiring, and all I can do is stay in bed. But there are days where the pain and anxiety are... tolerable. And that is such a good improvement considering I was at the hospital two weeks ago!

Yes... when I think of all that, I feel like the progress, no matter how small, is amazing, and that I have reason to have hope and I should keep moving on with my current treatment while trying new ones.

Going to attempt to make a video about all of these changes towards recovering. I hope you would like to see a bit into my life.

Lots of bubbly love to you,

Liv. 🌱

[waxhouse]

may i request 👉👈 gabriel may with an s/o who loves to draw him -razzy

>:) of course!!! i'm not sure what this quite became, but i had Thoughts. i hope you enjoy!!

sketch the trees and the daffodils | gabriel may x reader

GN reader. this title is SFW, but my blog is 18+. minors are not to interact.

warnings: mentions of medical trauma, doctors, hospitals. words: 706

Thin, trembling fingers gripped the crayon with effort. The scene on the page depicted a cheerful blue sky and green grass, with a large, smiling yellow sun in the corner. A singular figure stood in the center of the page in profile, seeming to enjoy the nice day that had been so carefully captured on the page. One face--A girl's, as indicated by the lashes drawn on to the dot eyes-- peered at a flower gripped in her hand, while the other on the back peered up at the sky, seeming to admire a pink butterfly. Thin arms reached up towards it, and towards the sun.

Clumsy letters in brilliant red captioned the image.

"my name iz Gabriel May. I am 6 and i liv in a hospetal. me and my sister eMily lik to play out side. my favrut colur iz red!!"

As he put the finishing touches on the image, his sister's arm reached around to take a look at what he'd drawn. No sooner had she done so that the door to their room opened, and Doctor Weaver swept in.

Gabriel watched as she smiled at Emily, his fingers twitching and stretching in excitement. Show the picture! Show what he had made!

"I see you drew something, Emily," the Doctor approached, sitting across from them. "May I see?"

When they nodded, she picked it up and looked at it.

"What a lovely drawing. Is that you?"

"Gabriel drew it. He said he wanted to you see." Emily said, leaning over the page. The doctor smiled again, nodding slowly in that way she did when they were making up a story for her. Like when she didn't quite believe them.

They were little, but they weren't stupid.

"How nice,"

"He did," Emily insisted. "He drew it."

"Of course," Dr. Weaver said indulgently. Their shared stomach twisted, and Gabriel twitched, letting out a sad, low vocalization. Why couldn't she see that he had drawn it? Why wouldn't she listen?

"Are you ready for your tests?"

-

Light flooded through the windows of the living room, the late afternoon sun cascading over your sketchbook page.

Therapy had ended near two hours ago now, and you watched your partner and his sister as they sat on the couch--Madison engrossed in a book, Gabriel half-watching some show and posing for your sketching. You figured it had been a good session, considering how quiet Gabriel had been since it ended.

You peered up at him as you tried to capture the gesture of his shared body. They were lounging on their side, Madison facing the back of the couch, head leaned into their shoulder, legs stretched down the length and crossed at the ankle-- Gabriel's vibrant blue eyes fixed on the TV, wordless mouth occasionally twitching when he found something playing on it particularly amusing or irritating.

He was beautiful. Reconstructive surgery had certainly helped him with comfort, though the healing period had been arduous. At the very least, you figured, there wasn't need of bandages any longer. His face was mostly healed, and from what you'd gathered from him and Madison, relatively close to what he'd had before the doctors had decided to skin him and shove him inside his own skull. He was keen to point that out often.

The TV crackled, pulling you from your reverie.

WHAT IS IT? YOU'RE STARING.

You huffed a laugh.

"I have to stare, Gabriel, that's how life drawing works."

A flare of distortion from the TV's speakers. It might have passed for a sigh.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY IT IS SO ENJOYABLE TO YOU.

You shrugged. "I don't know, I've always done it. It makes me feel fulfilled. I like creating." you paused. "You could try. I'm sure Emily wouldn't mind lending the hands for it."

I BURNED THAT BRIDGE A LONG TIME AGO. I DO NOT DRAW.

"Suit yourself, but if you ever want to, I'll help, or keep you company." you smiled at him, and he averted his gaze.

WHATEVER.

There was a beat. The TV crackled and spat, distorting the image displayed on the screen. Then, almost shyly,

CAN I SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE SO FAR?

You felt your heart warm a little.

"Of course, my love."

[mm2305]

The future

A/N : I realized I never posted the future of my Olivia although I had done past and present so here I am!

Masterlist

Olivia becomes the leader of the diagnostics team and Ethan the Chief of Medicine at Edenbrook. Ethan however, resigns from this position after the birth of their firstborn 3 years later, and joins the team along with Tobias, Harper and Baz.

Tobias later becomes the new Chief and Baz continues his research with Elijah while being in the team.

Back to Valensey, Ethan proposes Christmas 2020 (I hc that they've been officially together for almost a year) and they get married September 2021.

June 2022 Liv learns she's pregnant with their first child. Victoria Dolores Ramsey was born on February 18th 2022, making them the happiest couple alive. That is until their second daughter Anastasia Sophia Ramsey comes on August 21st 2024.

2 years later, Olivia is asked to assist the existing diagnostics team in New York, in order to be more productive while keeping their patients needs in mind. Soon enough, a similar offer comes from Los Angeles, thus making Olivia supervising 3 teams.

After the success of those projects, there is the suggestion of the creation of a brand new team in Seattle. Knowing that a project of this scale would need time and energy, she declared that she would accept only if Ethan was a part of it too. Her request was immediately welcomed and the Ramseys shook the medical world with this.

In 2030, she publishes her first book "Rookies", revolving around the challenges, joys and knowledge that come during one's residency, becoming a best seller. 5 years later, she co-publishes with Ethan her second book "Patient care" analyzing the process of diagnosing while interacting with patients and actually listening to their concerns and ways to maximize the quality of rapport between the hospital staff.

Family life consisted of busy schedules but always finding time to be parents to their daughters and be there for one another.

The gang never really parted, since they got together during holidays and vacation.

Olivia's sister Lily, moves in with Bryce to Boston in 2023. They met on Olivia's birthday party and quickly hit it on. They had a long distance relationship but met often enough since Lily traveled a lot for work. Finding a job in Boston wasn't a hassle for her, since she had a very impressive CV and skills as a PR and administration manager. They get married on 2025 and later have 2 sons, Thomas (Tom - Tommy) and Alexander (Alex). Bryce is the successor of Harper as Chief of Surgery at Edenbrook.

Tagging All works/edits : @romereadingshop @sophxwithers @actuallybored @potionsprefect @ethansramsey @crystalwillow @gryffindordaughterofathena @kiara-36 @mrsethanfreakingramsey @writer-ish @panda9584 @genevievemd @jamespotterthefirst @queencarb @shanzay44 @nikki-2406 @starryeyedrookie @schnitzelbutterfingers @mysticaurathings @lsvdw-blog @silma-words @stygianflood @headoverheelsforramsey @maurine07 @natureblooms24 @a-crepusculo @choicesaddict5 @quixoticdreamer16 @crazy-loca-blog @jerzwriter please let me know if you want to be added or removed

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 12*

Chapter 11

(i fucked this up by editing on my phone and now I have to post the next chapter link like this. )

Whoooo buddy! The angst is REAL, y'all.

I apologize for this, but also I really don't. And I made it normal length to make up for that short shitty one earlier.

Enjoy!!!! Mwahahahahha

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

---------

It seemed like forever for the ambulance to get there, Rafael just sat there trembling and crying while you started to convulse in his arms. Finally the door busted open and EMT’s threw you on a gurney and took you downstairs. Rafael sprinted behind them and jumped in the back of the ambulance as it sped away.

“Y/N….Carino please, please don’t die on me…” Rafael stroked your hair as you were hooked up to oxygen and anti drug meds. It was like literal hell having to watch this all over again, even worse that it was someone he actually...loved.

“Please, please don’t die…” He looked up to the sky.

----------------

Rafael paced the hospital waiting area furiously, they wouldn’t let him go back with you once the ambulance got you both there. When he saw Sonny running up the hallway towards him, he grabbed him by the neck and shoved him up against the wall.

“I TOLD YOU!!!!” He screamed violently, while several nurses ran over and pulled them apart.

“Rafael! Jesus Christ--” Sonny was breathing heavily while he tried to recover from Rafael’s ambush.

“I told you something was wrong, I told you I knew her better than you did!” He tried to wrestle away from the nurses.

“Okay I’m sorry, I’m sorry alright?!” Sonny yelled, tears starting to fill his eyes. “I should have listened to you--”

“You’re god damn right you should have!!!” Rafael continued to scream.“ She could die right now, do you realize that?”

“Of course I realize that!” Sonny screamed back while looking around them, trying not to make a scene.

“God dammit Carisi, she knew better than you. Why didn't you listen to her?!” Rafael was beginning to cry; he was so upset.

“Barba I--” Sonny started to apologize.

“Excuse me, is Miss Y/L/N’s family here?” An orderly came out from the back.

“I am!” Sonny forgot about Rafael and ran over to the man, Rafael did the same.

“I’m sorry sir but this is really just a family conversation--” He started to dismiss Rafael, but Sonny put his hand up.

“He’s fine,” He assured the doctor.

“Right, well--” He cleared his throat as he led them to a more quiet area. “The damage to Y/N’s body is pretty bad,”

“....God,” Sonny muttered, putting a hand over his forehead.

“The mouthwash has several chemicals that aren’t in traditional grain alcohols, mostly lethal. And her pancreas, liver and gallbladder were already severely damaged from the years of alcohol abuse,” He explained as he looked gravely between the two men.

“No…” Rafael put his hands over his face.

Flashbacks of a very similar conversation happening between a doctor and his mother filled his mind. The way his mother fell against the wall when she heard the doctor say there was a good chance his father was never waking up.

“How bad is it, doc?” Sonny’s voice quivered, and Rafael instinctively took his hand.

“Well, we had to completely remove the gallbladder, and parts of her pancreas so she’s most likely going to develop diabetes,” He further explained. “...And she most likely will need a liver transplant, depending on how the next 24 hours go,”

“Christ…” Sonny whipped his hand from Rafael’s touch and put both of his hands over his head while he paced.

“Can we see her?” Rafael asked.

“Yes, you know your daughter is very lucky to be alive,” The doctor informed them.

“...Excuse me?” Sonny asked while he and Rafael exchanged confused looks.

“...Are you two not her dads?” The doctor waved his pen between the two men.

“Oh my god,” Rafael muttered in horror, wanting to vomit right there.

“Uh, no sir-- no we’re not,” Sonny shook his head. “I’m her uncle and this is my partner,”

“Excuse me?!” Rafael practically screamed in disgust.

“...Do you want them to let you back there to see her or not, honey?” Sonny said through his teeth.

“Right,” Rafael nodded uncomfortably, taking Sonny’s hand once more. “We’re her...Uncles,” He tried not to grimace.

“Oh, right. So sorry sirs,” The doctor apologized once more as he led your “Uncles” to the room you were in. You were unconscious, but breathing on your own.

“She might be out a while from the meds, if you’d like to come back tomorrow,” The doctor informed them once more.

“Uh, I think we’ll wait at least for a little while, if you don’t mind doc,” Sonny replied while Rafael walked up to your sleeping body and just stroked your hair lovingly.

“Whatever you two want to do is fine with me,” He nodded. “I have other patients to see, if you’ll excuse me,”

Sonny nodded to him and he walked out of the room leaving the three of you alone. Sonny ran his hands through his hair while Rafael pulled a chair up next to your bed, still stroking your hair.

“...Barba I think you should leave,” Sonny said softly.

“...What?” He laughed. “Are you...are you fucking joking me, Carisi?”

“No look,” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, I’m sorry I didn’t hear her. And I’m sorry that I just...gave up, protecting her,”

“Yeah well--”

“But I hear you now, and-- and she’s going to need to go away,” He looked at your sleeping body sadly.

“She’s in no shape to go anywhere, Carisi,” Rafael clutched your hand as if he was protecting you.

“Not now, no,” Sonny agreed. “But when she’s better--”

“We don’t know if she’s going to get better!” Rafael suddenly stood up and walked towards him; Sonny backed up as he approached, afraid Rafael was going to grab him again.

“Even more reason you shouldn’t be here!” Sonny argued.

“What?”

“Barba look,” He cautiously put a hand on Rafael’s shoulder. “I...I get that you two have some kind of-- I don’t know, connection,” He glanced at you.

“But it doesn’t change the fact that you barely know her, and she barely knows you. You have a job and a life waiting for you tomorrow, you can’t be sitting here sitting vigil for some girl you slept with once,”

“How dare you fucking say that to me, Carisi,” Rafael’s eyes narrowed as he snapped his shoulder from Sonny’s grasp.

“How fucking dare you. First you don’t want me anywhere near her, then you tell her she’s nothing to me, then suddenly you think that I’m in love with her, and-- and now that I’m finally...attached to her-- you want me to just leave her alone again?”

“No, I never wanted you near her because of this exact situation!” Sonny hissed, trying not to wake you. “I told you straight up that she was complicated, and that you weren’t about that life,”

“I am about that life-- I’m serious, about her,” Rafael corrected himself, rolling his eyes at the terms Sonny used.

“Well I don’t think you should be,” Sonny crossed his arms.

“This is the jealousy thing again, isn’t it?” Rafael licked his lips angrily. “You and your stupid ego can’t stand the fact that we--”

“That is NOT it Rafael and you fucking know it,” Sonny narrowed his eyes.

“Then what is it?” Rafael crossed his arms. “It’s clearly not because it’s too much for me, because I’m flat out telling you it’s not,”

“Rafael--” Sonny placed his hands over his face. “I have spent my life protecting this girl, okay? And I may have dropped the ball here, but that just means that I will sure as hell not do it again. And that means that I have to have her best interest at heart,”

“What does that even mean?” Rafael looked at him quizzically.

“Her whole world is different now, Barba!” Sonny gestured to you. “You heard the doc. She has no gallbladder, whatever the fuck that means, she will probably get diabetes, god knows what will happen even if she needs a liver transplant, but my guess is it ain’t good!”

“...Well she won’t be able to drink alcohol,” Rafael said softly.

“Which will make her sobriety that much more urgent and permanent, Barba,” Sonny stepped towards your bed.

“She’s gonna have a long hard road ahead of herself no matter which way this goes right now, and keeping her on track is the only way she is gonna get through it. You think she’s gonna be able to focus on anything but you if you stay here?”

“I can help her--” Rafael insisted, glancing down at your innocent sleeping face. It broke his heart you were hurting, now all he wanted to do was take care of you and make sure you never hurt again.

“You don’t have the time or the freedom to do that, Rafael,” Sonny said sternly. “And you know it,” Sonny’s statement brought him back to reality.

“And you do?” He looked back up at Sonny.

“I’m a detective, Barba. It’s not like I do that much,” Sonny shrugged. “And I have enough PTO for a bit to take care of her. And she’s my responsibility! She’s MY family, Liv will understand that. What she won’t understand is you sitting Shiva at some young girl’s bedside who you barely know,”

“....And what are you going to do when she gets better?” Rafael ran a finger down your bare arm, wishing you would wake up and stop this nonsense your cousin was spewing.

“I’ll ask around,” Sonny now sat next to your bed. “I’ll find her a good place, somewhere she can be taken care of the right way, not some creepy mental hospital,”

“...Alright fine,” He sighed, looking at his watch. It was getting late, and he had an early court date.

“I’m coming back--”

“No, you’re not,” Sonny shook his head. “Look I promise you if she gets worse and needs your emergency liver or kidney or somethin’, I’ll let you know. Other than that, just-- leave her be,”

Rafael flashed back to the last time Sonny had used those words, and how as soon as he agreed, you heard him and it destroyed you. He couldn’t do that again, what if you could still hear him?

“No, I’m coming back--”

“Barba if you come back here I’m gonna tell the nurses that we broke up and you are no family member of hers,”

“You,” He shook his head. “You wouldn’t do that--”

“If it keeps you away from her, I’ll do anything right now Barba, I’m sorry,” Sonny gave him a sympathetic look.

“...She’ll never forgive you for this, Carisi,” He warned Sonny. “When she finds out you kept us apart she will never forgive you,”

“What are you Romeo and Juliet all of a sudden, counselor?” Sonny scoffed. “Give me a friggin break. I’m sure she’ll get over it, when she’s clean and sober and thinking straight,”

“I’ll never forgive you for this,” he growled with a death glare.

“...Yeah, well--” Sonny stood up and started escorting Rafael out the door. “I guess that’s something I’ll just have to live with,”

Rafael glared at him once more before turning on his heels and stomping down the hall, just as you stirred from your med nap.

“Sunshine?” Sonny quickly ran to your bedside.

“Rafa..?” You sleepily asked, you swore you heard his voice just moments ago.

“It’s Sonny,” He nervously looked back at the door, making sure Rafael hadn’t heard you wake up and came running in again.

“Oh,” You blinked several times, trying to get your vision back. When the blur in your pupils resolved, you saw Sonny’s smiling face beaming at you.

“Hey there,” He kissed your forehead. “You scared the shit outta me there, Sunshine,”

“...I’m so sorry, Sonny,” You began to cry in remorse.

“Hey hey hey,” Sonny took you in his arms and shushed you while he rocked you. “Shh shh shh, you’re alright. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you when you were asking for help, I just--I just let you go,”

“...But Rafael didn’t,” You sniffled as you looked around the room for him. “Where is he?”

��He uh--” Sonny stammered. “He left, Sunshine. Early court meeting tomorrow, y’know. Lawyer stuff,”

“Right,” You nodded.

“...He said he wouldn’t be coming back,” Sonny added with a sympathetic look.

“What?” You blinked in disbelief. Had he really just taken off? Without even saying goodbye?

“Well it’s just,” Sonny took your hands. “Honey you’re-- you’re gonna have a lot to go through these next few weeks, maybe months. And Rafael--”

“He doesn’t have time for that,” You finished for him, accepting the truth.

“Yeah,” Sonny nodded slowly.

“Right,” You picked at your blanket as you stared down at it morosely. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything more than him dropping me here. He tried telling me that he was--”

“He was what?” Sonny quirked an eyebrow. You thought about telling him that Rafael had said he was in love with you, but you weren’t entirely sure that happened anymore, given how out of it you were at the apartment.

“...He was ready for a relationship,” You lied. “But I guess he wasn’t ready for a dumpster fire of a girlfriend,”

“You’re not a dumpster fire, Sunshine,” Sonny assured you.

“...Yeah clearly this doesn’t scream ‘damaged goods’,” You gestured to all the wires you were hooked up to.

“You’re not--” Sonny sighed and shook his head as he wrapped his arms back around you. “You’ll find someone,”

“...Not someone like him,” You whispered sadly, tears dripping down onto your IV tube.

“Well hey,” Sonny coughed as he tried to change the subject. “I better get goin’ make sure you get some good sleep,”

“...But I was just--” You tried to say you had been sleeping this whole time.

“I’ll come check on you tomorrow, kay?” Sonny kissed your head and started heading towards the door. He hated to do this, but he had to keep you safe. He turned around and gave you a sad smile.

“Hey, Sunshine?”

“Yeah, Son?”

“I uh, I don’t wanna rub it in or nothin’, I just--” Sonny cleared his throat. “Barba wanted me to tell you not to contact him anymore,”

“...Oh,” You looked over at your phone, which was charging on the table next to your bed.

“He just thought it would be easier, y’know? Clean break and all,” Sonny lied with a sad smile.

“Yeah, sure no of course,” You nodded, trying to keep it together.

“Alright well, I’ll see ya,” He nodded one more time before shutting the door, leaving you alone.

You immediately grabbed your phone and began typing a message to Rafael, telling him how you were sorry and that you never should have tried to kick him out, and that he saved your life and that you knew you were a huge mess, but that you would clean yourself and do everything in your power to be good enough for him if he just let you--and you just stared at it.

You re-read it a thousand times, tears streaming down your cheeks. You couldn’t send this, it was pathetic. He already made his choice, he tried to tell you he loved you and you had blown him off by almost dying in his arms. And he ran. You couldn’t blame him either, you’d run away faster than a Kenyan track star if you were him.

After going through all that bullshit with his dad, he’d never want to relive that with you, some girl he barely knew. There was no way. And begging him to come back to you after all the shit you said to him at your apartment was just pitiful.

You deleted the message and then started to delete his contact info, but you knew you needed to be drastic. If it was a clean break he wanted, you’d have to give it to him. You’d already put him through way too much stress and punishment than he deserved, you had to be stopped. You highlighted his number and hit “BLOCK NUMBER”, before deleting it from your phone.

There. Now there was no way you could find him, or vice versa. Clean break. You put the phone down next to you and laid down, realizing what you had just done. You had just deleted the potential love of your life from your existence, forever. You cried yourself to sleep, only dreaming of Rafael.

=============

Rafael laid down in his bed after getting home and showering the bad day off of him. He opened the text thread of your messages, and saw the ellipsis light up, signaling that you were typing. It was there for a long time, he became more and more anxious as they just flashed in the darkness, taunting him. He was so happy you were okay, he had to tell you what Sonny said but that he would never be able to keep him from you. He waited and waited, and then the dots were gone. He waited a moment for you to send it, but soon got impatient and just texted you

“Y/N I’m so glad you’re okay, you had me so worried. I miss you,”

He hit SEND, but was met with the most horrifying response:

“The number you have texted has blocked you from contacting them.”

“No…” He muttered alone in the dark. “No, this can’t be happening,”

Did Sonny have your phone? Did he do this? Did he tell you something to make you do this? Did you do this on your own when you realized he had left. Sonny had to have told you something bad, something diabolical. He had no way of contacting you now, and he would never get into the hospital to see you.

What was going on?

-------------

The next morning after his court session, Rafael headed over to the precinct to talk to Sonny. He practically sprinted through the door into the bullpen, to find it empty.

“...Where’s the SVU squad?” Rafael asked a cop at the front desk.

“Do I look like a concierge, Barba?” The cop rolled his eyes. “Does my badge say ‘doorman’? I don’t keep tabs on you people!”

“Thanks Louie,” Rafael rolled his eyes as he walked out of the station, dialing Sonny’s number on his phone.

“Hello?”

“What did you do?”

“Barba?”

“What did you do, Carisi?!”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N blocked my number,”

“Well good--”

“NO, not good. Carisi. What did you say to her?”

“Y’know Barba, maybe you should take the hint and move on,”

“Oh fuck you, Carisi,” He growled into the phone. “I’m going to the hospital,”

“Yeah well, good luck getting in here counselor,” Sonny shook his head with a small laugh, glancing over at you in your room, while he stood outside. “I’ve told the nurses you were a deadbeat dad who wanted to kidnap our niece for yourself, so they’re on alert not to let you anywhere near her,”

“You’re evil,” His voice was low and horrified.

“I’m doing what’s best for my baby cousin, Barba. If that makes me the bad guy, so be it,” Sonny spoke like a mob boss, tracing the glass on the window to your room.

“I’ll see her when she gets out,” Rafael sneered.

“Well that might be difficult, seeing as I’ve found her a very nice place to go as soon as she gets outta here. Somewhere far away from here, and you,” Sonny couldn’t help but smirk.

“No, Carisi don’t do this,” Rafael became desperate, his angry threats turned to pathetic pleas. “Please don’t send her away-- I love her,”

“If you love her you’ll let her go, Rafael,” Sonny simply said, ending the call before Rafael could say anything else.

“GOD DAMMIT!!!!” Rafael screamed in the middle of the foot traffic, making people turn and stare at him.

He had to fix this. He couldn’t let you leave thinking he didn’t want you. He couldn’t lose you, not now. Not after everything.

Was he going to lose you forever?