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callixton · 3 years

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hmm... toby right back at you for the headcanons thing, and also donna if you want!

thank you ! this got… long

toby

i’m just gonna put all of my gender/sexuality thoughts for toby in one so: i go back and forth between whether toby identifies as bi or just prefers queer. i think he’s someone who has a good technical grasp of queer identity, but not a good hold on his own. he knows he likes men and women and that’s enough. he doesn’t hide it, but it’s not something he talks about frequently either so most people don’t know (i have more thoughts abt he and bartlet having contention over how out he is but that’s a separate thing). i’m also fond of he/him agender toby in a he’s masculine but doesn’t feel any real connection to his gender way. like he’s not a Man he’s just existing. also convinced toby has some sort of very subtle queer symbol in his office, my instinct is the lambda especially considering it was established in nyc around the time he would’ve been active there

kind of linked to the first one but before he worked with campaigns i think toby was very involved in the new york activist scene — i think this is broadly true, and probably overlapped with the beginning of his career in politics (definitely the bronx borough race, maybe his city council campaigns but we don’t know where those were), but specifically with queer activism and aids relief. i know it’s only one throwaway line in drought conditions that links him to the aids fight but i’ll take what i can get. he still has connections/friends there during the show but bc of his job and optics things can be a bit strained despite his best efforts.

toby is autistic and has anxiety! i think he has anxiety tics (arguably canon but ehh) and the thing with the spalding ball is definitely a sensory thing. i’m not sure he’s ever diagnosed with autism, i think it’s something he figures out abt himself later in life. my thoughts on these aren’t so developed i just believe them to be true lmao. also depression but that’s. you know that’s pretty obvious. i do think he is passively suicidal. most? of the time? often, at least. always very fond of toby either researching ptsd and mental health for josh and figuring out things abt his own mental health, or josh encouraging him to go to therapy after things settle down post noel.

he’s a poet at heart, and he writes down little phrases and poems on whatever piece of paper is closest to him. at first, he’ll occasionally put them on sam or cj’s desk without comment instead of throwing them away, but i think he ends up writing poems for all of his friends. donna finds one on his desk when going to grab something for josh, and i think she quietly keeps it for about a week before asking him about it (donna toby friendship is a separate other thing that fascinates me). he tends to write abt josh a lot and josh finds out bc he pushes a napkin with a poem abt him into his hands and walks away. (i have a fic abt this that i swear i’ll finish one day i’m just averaging abt three sentences a month on it)

toby goes back to new york and teaches after he retires politics. these two things aren’t initially related, but he turns down more lucrative offers and ends up teaching at cuny. he starts out of some sort of sense of obligation, but he enjoys it a lot more than he thought he would — i think he’s always cared more about shaping a message than the actual politics (though he would let himself get swept up in the latter sometimes not denying that) and this is the same thing on a smaller scale. he writes on the side; he intends to finish a memoir first, but reliving a lot of those memories are painful, and he ends up publishing a novel that really explores a lot of the same themes that his memoir would have

donna

donna has a… complicated relationship with her extended family, especially after working for bartlet. but even before then, i think that she tried very hard to have a place and fit in and she never quite knew how. i also think that in her family meaningful relationships have always extended past immediate family so they have a real influence and there’s also a real sense of loss when she loses their approval. that being said, because those relationships are so important within her family she does have people who will stick by her through anything. other family things uh: she has a really good relationship with her mother, her dad’s always been too distant to feel she knows him, and she has an older brother who she was really close with as a kid and drifted from when he went to college but has started reconnecting in recent years.

i think donna has a difficult time identifying actual attraction? you can make plenty of inferences abt her sexuality with this (and i do have opinions on this but they do vary a lot so for now it’s kind of just donna is some flavor of wlw) but she tends to date men not bc she’s into them but bc she feels like it’s the logical next step when they’d really be better off as friends. i’m having trouble articulating this one maybe i’ll make a post abt it at some point but essentially it’s partially comphet partially a self esteem thing and also i’m not convinced it only applies to men

horse girl donna moss but in a suburban way. when she was in minnesota she did see horses a lot and that stuck with her when she moved to wisconsin. she wanted to ride western bc she thought it was cooler, but the only affordable/nearby stables taught english, so she settled for that. she only rode for a few years when she was a kid, but she’s still very fond of them. (secret worse/even better 20 hours where they have to ride horses part of the way back and donna is the only competent one)

this isn’t exactly a head canon but i think that donna is often grouped in with the senior staff (i do this as well and i don’t think it’s Wrong bc due to her relationship with josh/her arc she does have a different relationship to a lot of them than the others) but i’m really interested in her dynamic with the other assistants. we don’t really get to see any of their inner life and i know they have one! almost certainly more of one than their bosses. so i’d like to see something which goes more in depth with her individual relationships with all of them bc they tend to just become The Assistants and i know they’re all different people

i do think she has trauma that probably verges into ptsd and survivors guilt after gaza and it frustrates me to no end that this doesn’t even get a nod. i also think she has pretty severe chronic pain! ur faves are disabled agenda but she should get to use mobility aids — i’d like to think that seeing the president use a cane makes her feel a lot better abt using something similar herself. and all of these are things she should get to bond with josh over (also jed actually. jed donna friendship supremacy i think they’re very similar)

#i Cannot be concise huh #i so rarely say things abt them that aren’t partially shit posts but i have real thoughts abt them see i promise #my toby post canon opinions vary a Lot depending on how much i want to indulge canon that day (usually my patience for that is v limited)#but i think that one is pretty compliant with my actual canon thoughts. not sure how exactly the kids fit into it but please know they do #toby being from a family of overachievers (his siblings anyway) and therefore not feeling like he’s doing enough despite being in the white #- house is another one that didn’t make the cut #this is exacerbated by his whole complex abt winning #um wait a couple more specific toby ones:#he likes sinatra #he likes richard siken but prefers war of the foxes bc he’s pretentious #but his favorite siken poem is boot theory #he listens to podcasts when those become a thing but he claims to listen to like. political think pieces (and he does. sometimes) but what -#he really enjoys is poetic story ones like within the wires #i could really talk abt my thoughts on toby all day i need to stop ha #also donna has adhd. she and margaret have neurodivergent solidarity conversations without realizing that’s what they’re doing #uhh cj donna work wives #donna was an animal/nature documentary kid. josh and toby were both space but for different reasons #also tapping into my very specific horse girl past knowledge for this one 😔#sam tends to be my go to for future president bc of the themes set up in the show but i also ADORE donna moss for president as a concept #donna definitely writes a memoir she has her diary to pull from #also i’m a lot less sure abt whether donna’s are canon compliant but i believe them so it’s okay #okay. that’s everything this took so long skgjwjr #toby ziegler #donna moss #the west wing #ted talks

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make-me-imagine · 2 years

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Hi! Thank you for doing the sleepover & congrats on the milestone! Could I get a what if ship for Star Trek AOS/Marvel, please? I’m sure your inbox is bursting, so don’t feel like you Have to get to this lol

I’m a cishet girl with wavy dark brown-almost-black hair & hazel eyes, one is brown & green and the other is brown & blue (mostly brown but I still think it’s cool). I’m 5’5, super pale & freckled, and curvy. I usually wear sundresses bc I hate pants, but I’ve been told it makes me come across as very proper (+ I’m a stickler for politeness & manners). I'm the Eldest Daughter of a big family & fit the stereotype, so I'm 100% a mom friend & habitually take care of people. I do have a lot of pressure on me bc of it, but I love my family so it's okay.

In my spare time, I usually read, watch movies, listen to music (rock or indie), play board games, or write poems. They’re not any good, but it’s fun & helps me vent. It takes me forever to warm up to people but once I’m comfy, I’m super bubbly with them.

I’m a psychology major & going to grad school for clinical psych. I’m super excited about it bc my studies are probs my no.1 priority rn. I probably find an unhealthy amount of validation from school, but I love learning new things & just really enjoy discussing things, so I love my studies lol

Sorry this is long! Again, thank you for doing this!

Ships are under the cut, I hope you like them!

Star Trek AOS:

S/O: Leonard McCoy (You would also suit Sulu as well)

How You Met: Your first day on board the Enterprise, as you were being shown around the ship by Uhura. You met in the med-bay, and he was a bit swamped, but he never refuses to say hello to a pretty woman lmao. And he was very glad he did,because he thought you were a breath of fresh air.

Your Relationship: Leonard was a bit flirty from the very beginning, but was always polite. You two hit if of really easily and quickly, and were dating within a few weeks. Leonard is a romantic at heart, and never turns down the idea of romancing you or sweeping you off your feet. And he is very good at it. Also, he LOVES your eyes.

Best-Friend: Uhura. You knew each other at Star Fleet academy, and had been close like sisters for years.

Job/Role: Onboard Psychologist

Other Info: Some of the others had made a bet as to how long it would take for you and Leonard to start dating. Jim lost by four days. Uhura won (she was one day off).

- - - - -

Marvel:

S/O: Sam Wilson

How You Met: You are a member of SHIELD and occasional member of the Avengers. And you met when you helped Steve during the downfall of SHIELD. Sam was flirty at first, and then very interested once he go to know you a bit more.

Your Relationship: You and Sam are both mature sibling mom/dad friends. Sam is a bit more outgoing, but loves your more reserved side. Though he does also adore your bubbly character. Sam adores you, and helps you ut when things get stressful, he is always there to hold your hand and be your shoulder to cry on if needed.

Best-Friend: Wanda. After you met Wanda, you two got along really well. You helped her though the loss of her brother, and she held onto that kindness forever. She saw you like a sister, and you two have been very close ever since.

Job/Role: SHIELD Agent/Psychologist; Part-Time Avengers

Ability: You are on the psychic scale; hence why you are often useful to the Avengers and SHIELD. You are Clairvoyance, and an Empathic Telepath (meaning you can "feel" what someone is thinking, meaning if it is an angry thought, happy, sad, violent, etc.)

#ships #ship #what if ships #milestone ships #anon ships #6.5k follower milestone #sleepover #sleepover ships #marvel ship #aos ship

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sunbentsky-archived · 3 years

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five songs i associate with my muse

tagged by @takivvatanga, thank you!! <3

tagging @bornofbloodandwater @fvk-destiny @mxuntainlion @aislingiche (do it for Nar 👀) and anyone else who wants to do it!

1. Strunga - Transsylvania Phoenix

This is a Romanian song based on an older 19th century poem about haiduci-- catch-all terms for outlaws, brigands, bandits, etc., with some of them being Robin Hood-eque figures robbing the rich to aid their local communities, others... not so much. I won’t try to translate the lyrics because I wouldn’t do it justice, but it speaks of threthening rich men to put two bullets in their backs if they dare to pass, so. You get the vibe lmao.

It fits Ecaterina both in the way it sounds and also thematically; even if her family hadn’t emmigrate during her childhood, I think she would have still ran away from home and joined a band of outlaws, especially under the pressure of the Ottoman suzerainty and Russian occupation over Wallachia.

2. This Bitter Earth - Dinah Washington

This bitter earth Well, what a fruit it bears What good is love That no one shares?

And if my life is like the dust That hides the glow of a rose What good am I? Heaven only knows

Lord, this bitter earth Yes, can be so cold Today, you're young Too soon, you're old

If Ecaterina were a gang memeber in RDR2, she’d sing something like this on quiet nights when she’s drinking alone at the campfire. A melancholy, bittersweet tune, coming from a woman who’s seen and done so much, yet at the end of the day, she still has to ask herself-- what good is she? Heaven only knows.

3. The Master’s Call - Marty Robbins

When I was but a young man girl I was wild and full of fire A youth within my teens, but full of challenge and desire I ran away from home and left my mother and my dad I know it grieved them so to think their only boy girl was bad.

I fell in with an outlaw band, their names were known quite well How many times we robbed and plundered, I could never tell This kind of sinful living leads only to a fall I learned that much and more the night I heard my Master call.

This song served as inspiration while I was brainstorming Ecaterina’s backstory. In the end, only the first part of it became relevant, but I still strongly associate it with her. Ecaterina is a priest’s daughter; she was raised with the fear of God and all that jazz, but it didn’t deter her from waking up one day and choosing violence. She does believe in God and she does think it’s a divine miracle that somehow she’s still alive, often wondering why that is, but at no point in her life did her faith actually cause her to decide to change her ways.

4. Cocaine and Abel - Amigo The Devil

I’m not proud of all the choices I’ve made for a lot of my life Following the shadow when I damn well know that behind me is the light But I’ve lied to my mother I’ve made people feel like hell But I refuse to believe I have to keep being cruel because I’m a coward myself

But the blood in the water Is the blood of my brother We both learned it didn’t mean a thing in the end if one was thicker than the other And I’ve tried having faith But I’ll rot like a dove Cause I’ve always been scared of loving someone just a little bit more than I’m loved

This song, oof... This woman had one hell of a life and this song pretty much captures it all. She is cowardly and it makes her cruel; she often chose ‘a little hurt now to avoid a big hurt later’ which never worked out the way she hoped it would. Not all of her choices have been selfish, but she does have a tendency to put herself first, regret it, and then never learn from that regret. She tries her best but her best is simply not enough.

5. Coyotes - Don Edwards

Now the long horns are gone, And the drovers are gone, The Comanches are gone, And the outlaws are gone, Geronimo is gone, And Sam Bass is gone, And the lion is gone, And the red wolf is gone.

Since this whole list was rather depressing, I’ll end it on a similar bittersweet note. Well, this whole song. The nostalgia, the sadness, the inescable progress of time and life and people, for better or worse. At the end of the 19th century, Ecaterina is a relic belonging to a past that should already be dead, but... she still has some kick left in her. She does live through the turn of the century, only for a few more days and too sick to be aware of it, but she does. Her death comes as a mercy, though one she doesn’t welcome or embrace. In Romanian folklore it’s said that if it rains on the day of someone’s funeral, it means that they don’t want to depart from the world. The day Ecaterina was buried in an unmarked grave, it stormed.

#ECATERINA ABOUT: i spend a lot of nights on the run and i think i'm lost and can’t be found #ECATERINA PLAYLIST: when the day is through i’ll be here with you. into the sunset we will ride #i'm not sorry for making this long it's what i do dhkd #long post

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #429

“i’m just a bad luck charm to blame when things go wrong”

Are all-nighters something you have grown used to? God no. I have those SO rarely. I don't know how I used to do it. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I don't have sunglasses, and my driving permit has long since expired. Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? COLD, no. A tad chilly, very rarely. I have to be burning the hell up. What clothes are you most comfortable in? Men's pj pants and tank tops. Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? No, not anything. Have you ever unbuttoned someone else's pants? Yes. Are you good at painting nails? Nooooo. My hands are way too shaky. If it’s late at night and you’re hungry, what do you reach for? Usually a granola bar or piece of bread, lol. What word should you really probably remove from your vocabulary? I don't know. I don't really use any words I find wrong/offensive. Will you eat something if it falls on the ground? NOOOOOOOO SIR. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? God no. I'm not a vegetable fan. Do you see the value in education? Of course I do. Are you more physically flexible or situationally flexible? bitch neither lmao Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? I don't have one now, but my mom knows of some things from the past. Do you make an effort to eat healthy? Yeah. I could try harder, but I do try. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. I wasn't an official resident, but I was essentially always there and just counted as a guest, I guess. Would you ever be a stripper? No way in hell. Can you honestly say that you love yourself? No. Do you think that you’ve ever actually been IN love with someone? I don't just "think" it, I know very goddamn well that I was. Have you ever done a psychedelic drug? If not, would you ever consider it? No and no. Did you ever see the movie Good Burger when it came out? Not when it came out, but I've seen it and love it. How often do you clear your browser history? Never. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yeah man, gourmet shit. Do you consider yourself a burden to anyone? Why do you feel this way? I absolutely do. I'm just a leech at home. A financial burden to my parents since I'm unemployed. I have a lot wrong with me that my mom has to deal with. Who was the last person to carry you? Why were they carrying you? Probably Jason, realistically. I'm probably too heavy for anyone in my life to carry me now, and there hasn't ever really been a reason to besides him just being cute many years ago. Are you a clingy kind of person? If so, how has this affected your past relationships? I know I am. I'm lucky that I don't think it really affected any. I'm not OBSESSIVELY clingy at least, just moderately so. Have you ever witnessed someone drowning? Did you help in any way? Jesus, no. Have you ever felt like you just weren’t enough for someone? Who in your life has made you feel that way? I absolutely have. No one like... intentionally made me feel like that, I just felt it due to my own self-doubt. The times I've felt that that I remember have been in my only two serious relationships, but not endlessly. I'd just do something stupid and feel like it for a while. Have you ever been at a party where the cops came due to complaints?No. What were you doing the last time you spent a night away from home (or wherever you regularly reside)? I was having a sleep study to determine whether or not I had sleep apnea. Where do you like to sit when you’re on the computer? In my bed. Do you feel as though you’re good at understanding/communicating with animals? Absolutely. Are photographs important to you? Do you like to take a lot of pictures? Not incredibly important, because nothing is quite like actually experiencing that moment, but I definitely like to have some of major events. I honestly don't take a lot of pictures documenting my own life, but rather like nature and stuff. And when people pay me to take family/couple/child photos for them. Would you rather hike through the desert, the prairies, the forest, or the tundra? The forest, for sure. So long as I had my camera. If you could reconnect with someone from your past, who would it be and why? Guess. -_- What was the last game you played? Was anyone else playing with you? Do you prefer to play games alone or with others? World of Warcraft. And well, it's an MMO, so you're playing with what, thousands of other people? I mostly do solo content though, but I do usually chat with guildies when I'm on because I'm close and comfortable with them. What is the longest distance you’ve walked in a day? Idk, but definitely far. Do you prefer homemade food or restaurant food? Restaurant, sadly. What was the last new food you tried? Ummm... I want to say sweet potatoes, back at Thanksgiving. I didn't hate them, but they were okay. What is your most recent regret? I dunno, probably something really minor like eating/drinking something unhealthy. What was the last unexpected thing to happen to you? How did you react? I guess that would be the sleep apnea diagnosis. At least, that was the last big one. I can't think of anything in-between. I was very shocked, even doubtful that the results were reliable. But given how my APAP mask has almost completely solved my nightmare issue, I think it's safe to say it's correct. Name your three closest friends. Sara, Girt, and uhhh... Sam. Do you get excited or annoyed when the phone rings? Annoyed, honestly, lol. Do you prefer writing poems or stories? I prefer writing RP, which is pretty much just gradually writing stories. What pisses you off more than anything? Probably rapists, specifically when children are the victims. It's just... so, so repulsive and unforgivable to me. Like I don't understand how a human being could possibly be so diabolical as to scar someone like that. What’s the appropriate age to have sex? I think you should be adults, honestly, given the risk of pregnancy. Not that I followed that, so I can't really talk, and I know most people don't either. When you're really in love with someone and have a sexual side, it's kinda... hard to avoid 'til you're 21. Is there anybody you’re really jealous of? It's so stupid, I'll probably always be so jealous of the girl Jason dated after me. Even though I know they're not even together anymore (well, last I heard a few years ago). Is pornography evil or are you neutral about it? Meh. I'm not into it, but I don't think it's necessarily evil. I personally don't get sex without emotional commitment, but you do you, so long as you are both consenting adults being safe about it. Do you prefer to be monogamous, or are you more a casual dater or swinger? I'm strictly monogamous. I'd be way too jealous to share a partner with someone, and then there's the heightened risk of STDs, too. Have you ever had a crush on more than one person at once? Do you now? Yes, but I don't now. Who is your favorite relative? Excluding my immediate family, Uncle Rob. He is so damn funny. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I know I would, realistically. Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now? No. What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? It SUCKED while actually doing it, but I'm very satisfied having done around 20 minutes of cardio today at the gym. Cardio is something I 110% need in my life. Have you had any beer this week? I've never had beer. I hate the smell of it, and it's associated with memories of my dad as an alcoholic anyway. Could you cry right now? Nah, I'm in a good mood. If you could see one person right now, who would it be? I'd honestly love to hang with Sara again. Do you wear contacts? No, but I wish I did versus glasses, contacts are just WAY too tedious. What color shirt are you wearing? It's a dark teal. Song playing right now? Ha, I am STILL obsessed with Powerwolf's (but with Alissa White-Gluz's vocals) "Demons Are a Girl's Best Friend." Do you wear the seat belt in the car? Absolutely always. Please, please, wear your seat belt. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yes. There was a kid at dance who, from behind, thought I was his mother and he just ran up and hugged me from behind and I nearly had a heart attack. Do you like the color orange? Yeah; it reminds me of Halloween. Sometimes, do you wish you were someone else? Not really entirely someone else, but a much better version of myself. What is the weather like today? It's hot as shit and pretty hazy. Do you want any piercings? UGH like you have no idea. Have you given anything up for Lent? No. You do what you want, but I honestly think it's a dumb concept. Would you rather go to a rock concert or a rap concert? Rock, for certain. Have you ever dated someone that was a different race than you? Yeah; Juan was Hispanic. How old is your best friend? She's 23. What does your favorite necklace look like? It's a spiked choker with some dangling chains. It's fuckin' hot. Are you keeping a secret from anyone? I don't like the wording here. I don't have anything I'm hiding from someone in particular, and nothing they need to know at all. I just have a few inconsequential secrets I just don't share with anyone. Would you take a million dollars if it meant you had to die a month later? Uh, no thank you. Do you keep any type of diary or journal? You could say surveys are like snippets of a diary of sorts for me. I share a lot and use them to vent and just jabber on about my thoughts and feelings without exactly burdening anyone with them. What was the last thing that made you really happy? I'VE LOST A POUND SO FAR AT THE GYM!!!! :') It's been just one week, I know, big whoop, but it means A LOT to me. Prior to this, the numbers had just been gradually creeping up and up... but not anymore! :D Can you remember what you dreamed about last night? Very vaguely? Or maybe that was the night before's dream... Have you ever gotten kicked out of a class for being disruptive? Definitely not. I was a well-behaved, quiet student. Have you ever injected a drug? Noooo. Do you think the whole day is better if you smoke pot? I've never smoked. Last time you killed a bug? A while back when an ant walked over my laptop. Are you wearing perfume? What kind? No. The last male you spoke to… is he attractive? That would be my personal trainer, and yeah, he's very handsome.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''fuck up'' by shane dawson

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honestlyfrance · 4 years

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Again! :D 10 and 18?

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Pantser, all the way, but I mostly write down my basic idea in brackets then I could expand that however long I want to. Sometimes, but most especially for DTTEND, I'll write paragraphs for each bracket one at a time or I just go in blind and hope for the best lmao

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Most of them, mostly the ones on my sambucky bingo card; you'd see that beside the stats there's something like "fic coming soon" meaning that there'll be some alternatives. Speaking of abandoned plotlines, also from my bingo 😅 here's some snippets:

[[ Sam can't take it anymore—Steve always dragged him ( occasionally with Natasha ) with his and Tony's dates to "make it look casual" "not give Tony an idea" or some other bullshit he pulls out of his ass. "Just talk to him!" Sam says. To get out of another third wheeling date, he says he's got something to do with Bucky who was in the same room. The two get the wrong idea and drag them along for a double date in a fancy restaurant. Tony keeps on asking questions, and Bucky is a great bullshitter; Sam is too, and he's glad he doesn't have any noticeable "tells" that shows he was flustered with the way Bucky is handling the situation. Tony and Steve leave for an emergency battle thing, and the two are left alone. And obviously, they talk, "for real this time." ]] — Fake Dating, which is now in poem form, Kisses Almost Forbidden

[[ Bucky and Natasha go on a date, to get the secret sort out and to figure out if they still have feelings for each other, knowing they had a thing in the past. It all goes swell until some bad guys began to target them, and it all goes downhill from there when they began fighting, but ended up always fixing it up. Sam comes in when Natasha calls him in for backup, and Bucky realizes that he likes him more than Natasha, and the feelings he felt were for him ]] — Bad Date, which is now It Rains Every April 10th (also, what is this plot 😂)

[[ Sam takes the night shift at the local hospital, and Bucky is always there, every night, either battered and bruised or bringing their mutual friend, Steve Rogers, to be fixed up. Steve finally introduces the other after some tension.]] — Emergency Room AU, now an aesthetic and different AU

There's so many alternatives and you'd see which on my masterlists. One that I could say is to love a dying man, an alternative to the sweetest tragedy 😌 which is definitely pending

send multiple meta writer asks and help keep me busy!

#france answers #27dis #ahh 💓 thank u

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xreiiixc · 5 years

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Day #731

February 9, 2019

Hey. It’s been a long while since I wrote to you. Went to visit you yesterday. You showed us you knew we were there again. I honestly thought it wouldn’t happen again, but you made the sun shine for the first time all day, even though it was still raining. God, I love you. There was a rainbow too. You are at the end of the rainbow. It’s you. The mood was so different compared to last year. We were laughing and joking around. I knew you wanted us to be happy. I knew you didn’t want us to cry over you. There were definitely still tears, but I hope when we were laughing you were laughing along with us. Anyway, so much has changed since September. I have a boyfriend lmao. Tomorrow will be 3 months with him. He reminds me of you a lot, honestly. He’s constantly smiling and joking around. He doesn’t like it when people see him cry. He knows how to cook pretty well, and I told him I’d teach him how to bake, just like you taught me. I miss you so much. We had a narrative unit in English and I wrote my final narrative about the time we went to visit you last year. Sam wrote an amazing, beautiful poem for you that made all of us cry. I really wish I could talk to you again, just maybe, like, 5 minutes with you would be awesome. Breaks my heart knowing that you’ll always be 13. You’ll never experience highschool or have your first kiss or stress about finals. It’s okay. I’ve come to terms with what happened, and I’m okay with it. Finally. I know you know we’ll always come back. I just miss you a lot. I have Formal to go to tonight, and I wish you could be there with me. You probably wouldn’t like it, but who knows? I thought I wouldn’t like Homecoming but turns out I did. Anyway, I miss you so much. Thank you for showing us you knew we were there again. We really needed it. I love you so much. Rest easy, Irene. Love you lots <3

-Rei

#a letter from here to wherever you are

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gayneral · 5 years

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All those flowers, my dude

First of all thank you for asking, this will be longAlso as this took me almsot two weeks already I took the liberty of leaving some queastions out so I wouldn’t take even longerSince this was answered over a longer time span some questions that are aimed at certain days may be slightly outdated (ed what are u wearing today and such)

Alisons: Sexuality?I’m gay my dudes

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?He/Him, male

Amaryllis: Birthday?My Birthday is in June

Anemone: Favorite flower?This is gonna sound lame as fuck but I rly like roses, red ones in particular

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?I can’t choose but here are some favorites:

Peaky Blinders, I’ve watched this one so often,,, Cillian Murphy was what got me into it and I stayed for beautiful scenes and atmosphere and the gang drama

Gotham, Let’s be honest, the best thing abt dc are their villains (also suuuuper into Robin Lord Taylor as Oswald)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Office, i like these because they are easy, nice and satisfy my need to have something running in the background while I’m at home. (Also insanely sweet in the case of BB9)

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?One I still remember strongly is from two boys kissing “you should all live to meet your future selves”

Also many of the poems by keaton st james deeply resonate with me so check those out (most are religious-ish just in case that’s a no no for you)

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?I gotta be boring and say water

I like hot chocolate and a special kind of peach tea and some soda I drank in brazil but water,, yeah I drink that most,, love hydration

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Nope

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?I am, right now, at this very moment

Baneberries: Favorite song?I can’t give you an all time favorite so here’s a random favorite I currently like listening to: Sedated by Hozier

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.My family is not very big and actually hasn’t been a family for a very long time. Namely it’s my dad, my sister, my grandparents, my dads wife, her son, our dog and I. I have never experienced family in my youth so sometimes when I’m with them it’s all very odd. And sometimes it’s stressful. But it’s the first time I actually miss family when I’m alone at home, far away. I speak about my father and my grandparents further below but my sister is very sweet and I’m pretty protective of her, she and I get along a lot better now than before which is a common trait as ull see later.

We often take care of things, and are probably the most planning of the family. My dad’s wife is very good to talk to, having a very different perspective from my own and will always offer up advice. Her son is currently in pirperty and more interested in playing fortnite than anything which makes for some explosiveness at home. Our dog is cute and perfect that’s it.

Begonia: Favorite color?I like blue tones, but a dark, rusy kind of red is cool too

Bellflower: Favorite animal?Dogs Dogs Dogs. By far my favorite animal, they fill my heart with joy. Next up, Giraffes, funny big boys

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?Morning I think, I definitely work best early.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?I actually never really had a dream job as a child. Not that I remember at least.

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?While I generally ain’t a big fan, like I’m someone very based on conversations so obviously that’s hard w kids. I am growing more to them. I’m far from wanting one but I think children are special in their.. Like innocence. They are beyond all the bitterness and hatred that we adults have. If only parents would be better lmao

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?I’m afraid of many things. Change for example. And failure. I think that might be because being perfect was important when I grew up and whatever I did it was never enough to my mother especially. Perhaps that has become so deep rooted that I tell myself I can not fail, which makes me very nervous and makes me worry too much.

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.I spend lots of time on building sites and in hardware stores because my grandparents have houses and my parents often would work there too.

Buttercup: Relationship Status?Single

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?God I don’t know, I think it’s probably when I’m with someone I care about and it’s easy and light and fun and I feel comfortable and they tell me that they like being around me, or that I made them happy with something.

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?Nope,wanted to have some but money and shit

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings? I have my ears pierced, but it’s the earlobes so the most basic thing

California Poppy: Height? I insist on 1,70 at least, I will not accept being under that.

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?In a way, yeah

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?My new boots, black pants, winter coat, black jacket, a blue button up and a lord of the rings shirt underneath. Obviously underwear

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?When I was a child for sure

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?A person from school, who’s also in fashion design, but a few years above me that I got to know bc of cosplay.

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?My Ex

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?God idk, I like oldish looking ones, elegant ‘n stuff

Columbine: Are you tired?Nah, actually not rn

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?Sam visiting me in March

Coneflower: Dream job?I’m not sure, definitely something w sewing but idk if I wanna go theater or my own things

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?Introvert

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?Yeh

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?Very very far

I’d say I’m pretty damn loyal and also give myself up easily even without noticing. If someone has my love and my loyalty they have my everything basically. Would I commit a terrible crime? I don’t know. Would I be real mean to someone or punch them? Yeah, if it’s reasonable w the situation I would (would it be affective? Not sure)

Give myself up? If we’re thinking real dramatic..maybe yeah

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?Gemini

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?Funny or stupid things? MaybeOtherwise honourable stuff, i don’t think so, i don’t view my actions like that.

I mean I survived, that’s pretty cool

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?Above mentioned survival. Which includes making it out of my mother and her boyfriends abusive grip and household. Moving away. Being true to myself. Dragging myself out of the hole I had fallen in for a while. Getting close w my dad and family. Believing more in myself and stopping things that are not good for me. Getting an apprenticeship that I like. Moving forward in life

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?If it’d be my dad I’d sit down with him and ask him why exactly. I have had a relationship before in which I did not see how badly I was treated/ that I basically searched someone like my mother. So I’d listen, perhaps to prevent from making the same mistake again. If it turns out it’s nothing reasonable I think I’d tell him that I will pursue the relationship anyway and ask him to respect that and be as nice as possible to my partner.

If it’d be my mother.. No surprise she doesn’t even like me and honestly I wouldn’t give a shit.

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?Did I say it? Not sure but written it in a letter, it was Sam

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?If my grades speak for themselves it’d be my apprenticeship, or like idk working hard about something I enjoy. I take this very seriously and give it everything I can. I’ve been told I’m good at talking, not sure if that’s true

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?I’m envious. It’s not that far that I am not happy for people, I think i generally have it under control but sometimes it gets the best of me and fills my stomach with nasty emotions.

Also saying stop. I do a lot for people, and I’ve been prone to letting people use and step on me for too long xnot standing up for myself

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?The past month was actually absolutely terrible so not much to find here.Uhm..the bad thing that happened got our family closerI spend Christmas and new years w my familyI got amazing gifts and letters from my friends

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?Stressful. I worked on my semester project and I feel like hardly anything worked

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?I’m moving towards a happy place. But I’m definitely doing a lot better already

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?Finish my apprenticeship, surgery, be able to make my own money so I don’t have to rely on my dad so much (he does enough for me already) and so I can get more distance between my mother and I

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?In no particular order

1. Dogs, god whenever I see a dog I’m happy because they are so cute and loyal,,,,,,,

2. probably everyone and their dog says this but my friends, honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without them. They helped me through terrible times in my life, are a constant source of love and joy to me.

3. my family. Since I didn’t have that for a long time I cherish it even more now that I do. It’s amazing to have a family that supports you behind you. I’m super grateful for everything they’ve done for me

4. the possibility to do the apprenticeship that I want to. it’s not always easy,,,I lack the money lmao but I’m so grateful that I can do this, because it makes me feel like I’m actually worth something in the working,adult world. I’m good at this

5. music. I listen to it so often, I can’t imagine not having music

6. sunshine, there’s something wonderful about going outside and feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, when it’s spring and winter has just gone by and you just have to smile because everything is bright and you’re surrounded by light

7. myself. Listen I dislike myself as much as the next guy but I’m working on appreciating myself and I am insanely proud of myself for coming as far as I have come. I don’t let myself feel it very often but having myself, it’s a good thing. I know my younger self would be very happy knowing that I did all those things for us.

8. something that makes me happy is creating, might it be art, or sewing or writing, anything really. It’s a pain in the ass and frustrating at times but I love looking at something knowing I did this, finishing it. And then looking back at it later and seeing how far I’ve come again

9. playing video games. It’s just fun to lose yourself in a story sometimes.

10. Christmas Markets. I don’t like Christmas itself. But I love the Markets, it’s the atmosphere of it. The food smells amazing and there are all those lights and there are kids with actual shining eyes because they see Christmas so magical and they are in awe by all the lights and honestly I feel the same awe sometimes when I’m on those Markets

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? Hardly anything lmao. Listening to music. Distracting myself with either talking to someone or playing/watching something. Tho that often makes me feel guilty on the long run. What helps if stress is overwhelming me is writing down what it is that is stressing, like making a list and trying to untangle the mess, looking at what I have to do one by one

Hellebore: How do you show affection?Since I’m A big fan of honesty I usually just say it. I like to tell people when I get some emotion. Like just telling them that I appreciate them. I think it’s nice to just be told that sometimes. Besides that I do things, like I’ll send anon messages or offer help just assisting somehow. Like not always outright having them know it’s me,like affection from afar. And well I’m helpful when I care abt someone especially, like “I can do this for you”

And being super openIt’s not alway clever as experience has shown but to me offering up things about myself means trust means affection in a way. Like giving a part of myself to someone. lmao

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?Making it to this point, I wasn’t in a very good state just a bit ago. But with the help of my friends and family I made it out of it. I have an apprenticeship I enjoy, I have my own flat, I have something to stand up for again. I can appreciate myself some more. I was able to see toxic relationships i was in and get away from them and not let myself be guilted but seeing them for what they are and acknowledging that while I am not a saint it doesn’t mean that I have to accept any treatment. I stood up to my mother, even if just a bit that was a huge step for me.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?I barely had any of it recently so I can very much put what I want to do. Which would be drawing. I haven’t done that properly in so long and I miss it. Like both sketching stuff on paper but mostly full pictures, sketching, lining and colouring somethin. Having a full art piece at the end. Also Play Games. And talk to my friends. Haven’t had a nice hour long convo with Nina or Charlotte or Sam in ages and I hate that.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?That’d be Charlotte and Nina

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?I would hide away in my room and imagine. Invent stories, characters, anything to distract me from how unhappy I was. I would act them out in my head when I laid in bed so I could sleep.

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?I did not treat someone that I care about very well a few years ago, I didn’t give them the honesty they deserve. I was an asshole. Even if we spoke about it, I still feel very bad about it.

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?Indulging. When I have things to do but take a break I always feel super guilty for not doing anything.

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?It seems it comes from the Roman name Julianus, and was the name of a pangan Roman Emperor as well as a name of saints. Sometimes meaning youthful which fits because I look like a baby

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.I grew up in a big city in Germany. Very busy City with high buildings and no time. I lived in a flat when I was very young, a room with big windows where I’d sit and look out ot. Then we moved into the house my dad still lives in. Where houses were built in rows and more people knew each other, I’d walk home and pretend to not see them as to not have to speak to them.

Then I moved in a beautiful flat in a more busy part of the city, with a bookstore in the same building and a supermarket right down the street. My hometown is best described in the colour grey. I dont think it very pretty if I’m honest.Still its full of memories and not half as bad

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?Talking about the one in the house. Light peach coloured walls. Small but with big windows to look out of. An old wooden bed in front of one Window, and even older Closet next to the door, already so old that it had been ancient when my dad had been young. A desk in one corner at the other side of the room, above it shelves filled with books, little trinkets on the windowsills. Cabinets filled with paper full of secrets. Posters on the Walls and a round mirror that I hated looking into when I was young.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years? God no. I have repressed most of my younger years. My teenage years were filled with confusion and self doubt. I was a mess, I hated myself, not knowing who I was. And then knowing but being shamed for it, hiding away and keeping my head low to survive. Pushing myself to the limits and clinging to the thought that I could escape at age 18

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.My Mother and I are not on good terms. I’ve spend countless of years desperately attempting to please her, hoping for love or anything close to it. I was constantly let down by her. My mother is someone that I fear I’ll never understand, adapting to the men that she is with. Claiming to have reached compassion and selflessness while being the opposite. Acts childish and has never accepted or supported me. Now attempts to lure in my sister whom I fear for as she’s always wanted my mother to love her. I have estranged from her very much and currently I am happy seeing her as less as possible.

Onions: Tell about your dad. I remember my father as a very autocratic person in my youth. He’d always work and would only be home to cast judgement. We did not get along well, and my mother, like grima wormtongue, had influenced me further into seeing him as a terrible person. Now I see him very differently. In fact I am similar to my father. Hard working, well spoken and crafty. We share a similar humor and I am very thankful for his support over the last year. To me my father is a very good example of how sometimes people can actually change, sometimes second chances will not disappoint you. My father cares very much about our family and I am happy to have gotten close to him again.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.I won’t lose many words about my mother’s parents as there isn’t much to say about them.My mothers father was always sick, more often because he believed he was. The years before he died it had only gotten worse. My Grandmother was never really happy in that relationship, something I believe she handed down to my mother.

My fathers parentsWell, when I was young it was difficult, they aren’t exactly children people, despite trying. I especially had my difficulties with my grandmother, who was work above everything and wanted everything to be perfect.I remember her always fixing my clothing. Countless of instances of her and my dad arguing.

When I got older we had barely any contract until I had my coming out to my dad, who told my grandparents. Much to my surprise and I still respect that so much, they were immediately supportive and accepting, perhaps even more than anyone else from my family.

In the last year we grew closer. They helped me with my flat and would come over to set up a few things. I took them to a restaurant that my grandfather would always talk about whenever we talked, happily.

My grandmother and I had phone calls at least once a week, she was also the most interested in my apprenticeship, always curious, sending me old magazines and ideas she had. As well as button ups and shirts she had bought for me or old ones from my grandfather.She offered me support when we talked, told me they’d do anything they could

When my sister and I were getting clothing for my grandpa, as he was saying with us, I found a book on my grandmother’s bedside table.It was an educational oneIn it was also an article she had cut out of a newspaper, the title saying how the support of the family is the most important thing to lgbt children.

I miss my grandmother

Peony: What was your first job?I worked a summer at my mothers workplace. Cleaning watches and watch straps, replacing small things on the straps

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?We met 2014 on a cosplay convention in the city I grew up in. We met on the first day of that, where we all hung out in a group and then he and Charlotte spend the next day w us as well.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?I bottle it up, focus on something that keeps me busy. Sometimes other people’s pain or doing things for them. Distraction from thoughts really. I’m best when I’m busy

Pink: Where is home?If you’d asked me a couple of months ago my answer would’ve been easy and quick. But now phew, I mean I call my place home as in “I’m going home” and I call my dads place home as in “I was home over the holidays”

But I’m not sure, not really

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?I could go endlessly both about important historical events and tragedies as well as personal mishaps and bad choices. But eventually I actually think this is too big of a question to answer like this. I’m generally better in speech than word when it comes to things like that

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.Steady. As in a job that I like, that provides me with enough money to survive well. Not to worry about everything. Having Dogs, as that I something I always wanted. Living somewhere in the city (always dreamed of a Fachwerk House but yeah…), with the possibility to visit my friends that I am in good contact in. Living with love and happiness. With a connection to my family still as good as now. Perhaps with someone,,,

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?I love the sound of paper, like books, pages turning, things like that. Also soft rain

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?I’m a Class A represser. So it’d probably be many things centered abt my mother.

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? I want my semester presentation to go well tomorrow. That’s all I care abt rn

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? It used to be harder in the past but I’ve gotten slightly better at it. I’m still struggling with feeling but it’s a work in progress.

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?My Friends and Family, cheesy I know but over the last year I’ve become more set in that. Once more I noticed how much strength those can give you. And also noticed how important they are to me by the way things that happen hurt me

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?7 hours, couldn’t fall asleep at first but that’s usually my minimum of sleep

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?School. I have a timed, strict schedule thanks to that and it forces me to get up until a certain time in the morning. That helps a lot actually

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?I’m still in an apprenticeship but I enjoy it a lot

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?I have a new pair of shoes that are so beautiful I wish I had the look and body and style to wear them day to day. Also got some cool button ups

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.Look at this and you’ll see first hand https://www.pinterest.de/Gayneral/

I’m sorry I’m bad at desctibing my aesthetic. It’s like, historical stuff, museums, snowey Fachwerk, religious themed things, bee themed things, watches…

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?My semester project is due to two and a half weeks and I’m super nervous about finishing it like boooooy

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?Sadly I’ve been super busy recently so I’ve only been able to read a tiny bit in my holidays, Acht Nacht by Sebastian Fitzek

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?Still in school, doing good, and enjoying it

Still having a good relationship w my father, my sister and that whole family

Still good with my friends, hopefully seeing them more often

(maybe in a relationship pls don’t @ me)

Generally happy, not having to worry too much

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?Thanks to tumblr I do, and I hate it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.I take my school very seriously. And I have zero tolerance for those in our school that don’t.

#you wanted to know #ninjago #answered ask #ask game #ask meme #pers: negative #redbluemaiden #long post

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golbrocklovely · 3 years

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I always forget about Colourpop! Everybody was all about them one day and now I never hear about them, same with Makeup Geek. I've always wanted to try them. Those books sound cool, especially "There's Someone Inside Your House" I'll have to look into that one.

The only song I think I have saved from Colby's playlist is @ my worst by blackbear, which I don't know if he actually added that song or if heardwell did but it really sounds like his tweets put into a song lmaooo

Favorite Disney Channel original movie is tied between Princess Protection Program and High School Musical. Both because I have vivid memories of when they premiered. For HSM I can literally see myself sitting in the middle of the livingroon floor watching it and for Princess Protection Program I remember I was sleeping over my aunts house when it came out, my cousins and I were sleeping on an air mattress trying to count how many times they said Princess because they had that contest 😂😂😂

And Halloween original is without a doubt Halloweentown. I mean it is a cult classic for any late 90s early 2000s kid.

I'd rather have Colby's closet, he's got the more edgier style that I'm into. I really want those nike sneakers he has with the bandanas! I'm not gonna lie though I've really been feeling Sam's style lately. He's really stepped up his game.

Conspiracy theories give me anxiety 🤣🤣🤣 I think the extent of conspiracies that I can handle is the Mandela effect (if that even is a conspiracy theory lol) also do aliens count as a conspiracy??

What season best fits your personality and why? If SNC were in front of you right now, what is one question you've been dying to ask them? What's one thing that takes up too much if your time?

i still hear about colourpop all the time. makeup geek, different story lol

i recommended there's someone inside your house ! it was such a good read. i had to read it all in one sitting bc i just couldn't put it down.

you know what's funny, one time i thought about putting some of colby's tweets into a poem or a song bc of how they read lol but yeah there are couple songs i've heard that sound like something he would tweet.

omg hsm was my shit at one point. even my choir back in 5th grade sang songs from it and i had troy's part in breaking free lmao i will say tho hsm 2 is superior in my eyes.

my favorite dcom growing up was the thirteenth year and camp rock lol and then halloween themed, i mean, halloweentown is great and i do love that movie, but my favorite has to go to phantom of the megaplex. no one talks about that movie enough.

colby's closet is really nice. but i'm starting to think that colby is rubbing off on sam bc sam's style is like a mix of edger clothes mixed with preppy. and i'm all about it highkey.

omg same. i don't really like conspiracy theories, but i think some of them can be really interesting. mandela effects i think fall into conspiracies so yeah. those are weird to me, bc i feel like maybe our memories aren't as strong as we think and in reality instead of admitting that you're not remembering correctly, you're just double down for prideful reasons lol

i would say fall matches my personality more. i'm into spooky stuff, and the general color scheme of fall is kinda my aesthetic to some extent.

oh my god i have so many questions for them. but if i had to ask one where they had to be 100% honest with me, i would love to know what happened with metalife. why did they shut it down? what happened behind the scenes that caused it to be shut down? i just need to know honestly.

highkey, i hate how long showering takes for me. it usually takes me 20-30 mins to shower. even when i go fast, i'm still 15-20. like, if i could constantly just be clean... that would be great.

questions: what's your favorite drink (alcoholic and non-alcoholic), last tv show/movie you watched (and was it good), where do you buy most of your clothes from?

#ask #personal

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samraclaus · 7 years

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Do em all boredom sucks

Thank u lets get personal: send me a number  1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? - Bloom by the paper kites, somebody else by the 1975, beautiful sea from sing street, amnesia by 5sos, tarot by alt-j, and coming up roses from begin again  2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - either lily Collins, calum hood or Ezra Miller 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. - “…men have integrated feminist values into their lives, whether or not they use the label, and this is also an important barometer of the impact of feminism." 4: What do you think about most? - certain people in my life or sometimes death tbh  5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?- "me too omg” from Nichole  6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? - with  7: What’s your strangest talent? - I can imitate people and characters really well but they’re always weird voices  8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) - girls are beautiful. Boys are confusing but also beautiful.  9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? - no :/ 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? - literally like an hour ago I do it so often lmao  11: Do you have any strange phobias? - uhhhh I’m afraid of everything  12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? - the only thing that’s been in my nose is a really long qtip at the doctor and never again no thanks that’s scary  13: What’s your religion? - Islam (not religious tho) 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? - probably taking a walk or going to the park  15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - behind but good candids are the best  16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? - either sir sly  17: What was the last lie you told? - that I was okay and not to worry lmao  18: Do you believe in karma? - kinda yeah  19: What does your URL mean? - my name is samra but it gets autocorrected to Santa so it became a meme in my friend group  20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? - weakness: I guess my anxiety. Strength: staying positive outwardly  21: Who is your celebrity crush? - Ezra Miller and calum hood 💕😭 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? - no 23: How do you vent your anger? - I either punch things or just yell at everyone  24: Do you have a collection of anything? - a small collection of mugs! 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - hmm both are kinda stressful but I’d probably like video chatting more  26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? - not at all  27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? - I hate the sound of people chewing. I love the sound of hairdryers and vacuums. They make me sleepy  28: What’s your biggest “what if”? - what if I died? Or. What if I actually told people how I feel? 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - yes to both!!! -  30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. - right arm: basket. Left: pillow 31: Smell the air. What do you smell? - nothing really tbh  32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? - louder than life  33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? - east! 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? - Calum lmao  35: To you, what is the meaning of life? - making the most of the time you have even if you mess up along the way. But for a depressing version: you live and then you die. That’s it 36: Define Art. - anything that you make that represents something and you think is beautiful  37: Do you believe in luck? - kinda 38: What’s the weather like right now? - warm  39: What time is it? - 11:39 pm 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? - not yet  41: What was the last book you read? - cellist of Sarajevo  42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? - love it 43: Do you have any nicknames? - my dad calls me samronis and some people call me sam  44: What was the last film you saw? - uhhhh I think holes (what a night lmao)  45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? - I broke my arm on my scooter  46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? - no, I used to think they were kinda scary. I don’t now but still no  47: Do you have any obsessions right now? - flowers probably  48: What’s your sexual orientation? - bisexual  49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? - I think once in middle school, it was really dumb, someone just said that I said something mean about my friend  50: Do you believe in magic? - not really  51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? - sometimes, but I usually just let it go cause I feel bad lol  52: What is your astrological sign? - taurus  53: Do you save money or spend it? - usually spend :/  54: What’s the last thing you purchased?- sour patch kids  55: Love or lust? - either but love is better  56: In a relationship? - not right now  57: How many relationships have you had? - only a couple  58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? - no :/ 59: Where were you yesterday? - moving back and forth from my old house to my new house 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? - literally my entire room lmao  61: Are you wearing socks right now? - always  62: What’s your favourite animal? - guineas 🐹 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? - I actually don’t have one, I just live my life  64: Where is your best friend? - I have no idea tbh but probably at home  65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. - imsograntired (my sister), blushedaesthetic (erin), granterin (other erin), and basically all of my friends tbh  66: What is your heritage? - Turkish?? 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? - taking a shower and texting sam  68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? - trump  69: Biggest turn ons? - personality: humor, sarcasm, if you're a good person, cocky but not too much ya know. Physically: tall, nice hands(hands are so important wow 👀) 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? - eh I guess, I try my best to be a good friend  71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? - SAVE THE DOG WTF ILL LIVE ON THE STREETS WITH HIM  72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? - id probably tell people but make sure they don’t freak out too much and have them so funny things with me b) What do you do with your remaining days? Id do things with my family and friends all day every day and travel a bit if I can. Id tell people what I’ve always wanted to tell them without being scared. c) Would you be afraid? - I’m afraid of what happens after death, if it’s simply nothing, that’s what scares me. It’s impossible for someone to think of what it’s like to be absolutely nothing. I won’t even know I’m nothing because I’ll just be gone. But a big fear is how upset my family would be. I would hate to hurt them like that  73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. - love  74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? - a beautiful sea from sing street  75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? - 9203 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? - trust, compatibility, not taking everything seriously  77: How can I win your heart? - be there for me, give me space if I ask for it, talk to me all the time tbh and watch movies with me  78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?- probably  79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? - i haven’t made many good ones so I honestly can’t think of any rn  80: What size shoes do you wear? - 8-9 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? - “life is hard when you’re an idiot" 82: What is your favourite word? - UGH I LITERALLY TOLD SULTANA MY FAVORITE WORD YESTERDAY AND I CANT REMEMBER NOW 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. - love  84: What is a saying you say a lot? - what do I even say ever these are so hard  85: What’s the last song you listened to? - a.m. By 1D  86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? - dark green and pastel pink 87: What is your current desktop picture? - a picture of me and my friends  88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? - Donald trump  89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - "do you like ___” I’m weird with this question because even when I do like someone a lot, I just get really scared and end up lying and I hate that about myself. I need to be pushed  90: Turn offs? - not caring about my problems, ignoring me 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? - reading minds or flying  92: where are your parents from? - Bosnia!  93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? - while my aunt was in the hospital  94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? - definitely calum  95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? - Italy!! 96: Do you have any relatives in jail? - not that I know of  97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? - yes, and right on my sister too. I had too much mayonnaise :/ 98: Ever been on a plane? - yes ugh I hate planes  99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say - i would be too stressed to talk to the whole world so I have no idea

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