#longimagines

[amazon-fan]

Why Don't We Preferences - Dating Them Would Include... (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/455085265-why-don%27t-we-preferences-dating-them-would-include?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading_amp 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝑒𝒹𝒾𝓉𝑒𝒹

[kpop4you-blog1]

Careful pt.4

J-Hope Long-imagine

S/N POV’S

Foi uma viagem cansativa até chegar no Brasil. Dormi a viagem inteira e estava meio sonolenta quando desci do avião. Passava pela minha cabeça como estaria Hoseok, o que o garoto estava imaginando ao perceber que eu  não estaria mais do lado dele para apoiá-lo como sempre fora; Aquilo vinha a mente e filme de nós dois no começo de tudo passava pela minha cabeça.

NARRADOR POV’S          

Você foi tirada de seus devaneios quando escutou a voz de seu irmão lhe chamando. Nathan sempre foi um irmão que se preocupara muito com você, era aquele que a protegia quando a mesma dizia ter monstros embaixo de sua cama ou quando a caía de bicicleta e voltava com os joelhos sangrando. Ambos moraram em um orfanato até seus 10 anos de idade, os pais morreram em um acidente enquanto voltavam de uma viagem de carro na BR- 101, intitulada a BR mais perigosa do país. Ficaram com os avós até certo tempo, porém os mesmos faleceram pouco tempo depois do acidente devido a idade, doenças  e também devido a dor do acidente os deixou abalados ambos não aguentaram muito tempo.

Nathan: Olha pra você, cresceu hmm, me deixe ver, uns zero cm talvez? – o garoto disse sorridente enquanto te abraçava-

Você:  Foram só 3 anos Nathan, para! - você disse com a voz embargada, a saudade que sentia de Nathan e de sua casa eram imensas. -

Nathan: Ei ei ei ei, porque esse choro, em? – disse ainda acariciando seus cabelos –

Você: É saudade Nathan. Muita saudade. – você disse com uma voz abafada e quente, sua cabeça estava apoiada em seus ombros. –

S/N POV’S

Era como se todo o peso de minhas costas que trouxe da Coreia tivessem caído no chão quando pude sentir o abraço quente de Nathan, sentia saudade daqueles braços que sempre me protegiam e apoiava. Fazia 5 anos que estava na Coreia e 3 anos desde a última vez que havia vindo ao Brasil. Nathan foi uma vez apenas para a Coreia durante esse tempo, sempre foi muito ocupado com o trabalho, era um advogado reconhecido e sempre havia muitos casos em suas mãos.

Nosso pai adotivo é coreano e nossa mãe adotiva Brasileira, papai morava no Brasil desde quando tinha 15 anos, ele conta que se apaixonou pela nossa mãe quando ainda tinha 20 anos, na faculdade. Quando viemos morar com eles papai perguntou se queríamos aprender a língua de seu país Natal e foi assim que eu e Nathan aprendemos a falar coreano fluente.

Eu iria ficar na casa de Nathan até que conseguisse um emprego e alugasse um AP, queria ficar com os nossos pais, mas achei melhor não, aliás tinha 22 anos e não era mais criança. Durante o caminho fiquei observando a cidade, parecia que nada havia mudado como se estivesse do mesmo jeito desde quando havia saído dali.

Nathan desviou minha atenção, tocando no assunto que por algum motivo minha mente já havia esquecido.

Nathan: Posso saber o motivo dessa visita ilustre? Por acaso aconteceu algo? Você ama a Coreia e ainda tem o Hoseok e seus amigos... – Você o interrompeu quando ouviu o nome de Hope.

Você: Eu estava com saudades Nathan, eu realmente estava com saudades! – você disse tentando esconder o maior motivo de estar de volta ao Brasil. –

Nathan: Até parece que você iria voltar só por isso, quando a saudade aperta você sempre liga pelo Skype ou da um jeito de falar com a gente. E aliás quando você está tentando esconder algo acaba coçando seu nariz sem perceber. – disse concentrado no transito, desviando o olhar por segundos para poder confirmar o que acabara de dizer. –

Você:  Eu e Hoseok terminamos...- você disse de cabeça baixa. – nós apenas terminamos.

Nathan: “Apenas”, não precisa esconder as coisas S/N você sabe disso.

Você: Tá bom Nathan – Você começou, dizendo com a voz embargada.- Eu não sei mais quem é o Hoseok que eu comecei a namorar a 4 anos atrás, o homem que eu mais amo e que era meu protetor. Hoseok entrou em uma briga por causa de ciúmes... – Nathan a interrompe. –

Nathan: Então quer dizer que vocês terminaram apenas por uma briga de ciúmes e por isso também você voltou para o Brasil? – disse como se você e Hoseok fossem duas crianças e aquilo tudo fosse uma bobeira. –

Você: Posso terminar? – Nathan consentiu. – Depois disso eu o vi no carro com outra mulher, Hoseok estava com outra mulher. Você consegue entender o que eu quero dizer? Um mês eu fiquei aguentando isso Nathan, eu só queria que tudo que aconteceu fosse mentira e sumisse de minha mente. Eu o amo tanto, e é tão intenso. Mas sinto que a dor que ele me causou foi maior...

HOSEOK POV’S

Não conseguia acreditar que aquilo estava acontecendo. Abaixei minha cabeça, me culpava por tudo que fiz com S/N durante todo esse tempo.  Abro os olhos que estavam embaçados por conta das lágrimas e vejo duas fotos em cima da mesinha onde estava o anel, junto das fotos também havia um post-it com algo escrito com a caligrafia de S/N. Peguei aquele post-it, não dei muita importância as fotos que estavam junto, poderia ser um aviso dizendo que a mesma tinha saído e que voltava logo.  

“ Até onde posso vou deixando o melhor de mim… Se alguém não viu, foi porque não me sentiu com o coração.” - Clarice Lispector

Te amo pra sempre, queria que você estivesse me sentindo com o coração mas parece que não fui o suficiente para você! A vida é assim, sempre surpreendendo.

Ass. (S/N) ^.^

Ler aquilo foi como se tivesse levado um tiro no peito, aquilo queria dizer que ela havia partido? Estava na Coreia ainda escondida na casa de alguma amiga?

Peguei as fotos que estavam em cima da mesinha , deveriam ter alguma conexão com aquele post-it . Aquele era eu? Não podia ser, S/N sabia sobre o caso que tive no aniversário de Kook.

Fui surpreendido quando ouvi a voz de Namjoon me chamando, não havia percebido o mesmo entrando. Me atrapalhei para esconder as fotos  deixando percebível o meu desespero.

Namjoon: Hyung, não tranca mais a porta? – disse desconfiado do que hope estava escondendo. – Hey, o que é isso? – Disse se aproximando. –

Hoseok: Aish na-ada, não é nada! – disse com medo de que o garoto descobrisse. –

Namjoon: São fotos? Espera é você – disse tentando tirar as fotos de sua mão. –

Hoseok: Você tá louco? Tira as mãos disso ! –disse puxando as fotos. –

Namjoon: Se não é nada me deixa ver então – disse depois de conseguir tirar as fotos de sua mão. –

Namjoon POV’S

Cheguei preocupado na casa de Hope, apertei a campainha e bati na porta, mas parecia que o não havia ninguém em casa. Rodei a maçaneta e a porta estava aberta. Entrei e chamei Hoseok mas não obtive resposta, fui adentrando a casa e Hoseok estava vidrado, parecia estar em transe olhando duas fotos. Ficou apreensivo quando me ouviu perguntando o que era aquilo, desesperadamente começou a guardar as fotos. Porque me esconderia tais coisas?

Namjoon: São fotos? Espera é você – disse tentando tirar as fotos dele. –

Hoseok: Você tá louco? Tira as mãos disso ! –disse puxando as fotos. –

Namjoon: Se não é nada me deixa ver então – disse depois de conseguir tirar as fotos da mão de Hope. –

Quando vi aquilo não consegui acreditar, Hope havia traído S/N e esse poderia ser o verdadeiro motivo para ela ir embora? Era o que se passava na minha cabeça. Hoseok sentou no sofá e colocou os cotovelos apoiados sobre seus joelhos como se estivesse tendo uma crise ou algo do tipo. O sangue que percorria por minhas veias começaram a se esquentar, S/N era como se fosse uma irmã para mim e Hoseok havia a traído e S/N, sei que S/N daria a vida por ele.

~monnie

Continua...

[fandomobsessedforlife]

#imagine | Chaos has come again 💣💉💊🚬

(Read this whilst listening to seven nation army - the glitch mob remix for the best experience of 'the feels')

Stiles walks in the corridor, the lights flicker as he walks by. His smirk as dangerous as you could imagine. In his eyes you could see the glint of darkness that engulfed his brain and body. His eyes shining with bloody pleasure as he watches his slaves cut through every persons throat vigorously. "You are all dead" he snickered as he slyly smirked at one of the bodies which was Scott mccall.

"Dead. To. Me". Inside his head he was yelling for mercy. His concentration engulfed his spirit and body on the outside as he smashed his fist powerfully into the wall. The torture the demon was giving made him torn up. He was taking control of his vessel but the nogitsune fought vengefully. His head was turning hastily into unnatural angles as Stiles screamed in pain and anger. He grabs his hair as his eyes turn fire red. He roared powerfully and the waves of cloudy energy bounced off him and into his surroundings destroying everything in its way. He fell onto the floor as he began to have an unnatural seizure. His body began to shake violently like an earthquake with a Richter scale of 7. Tears strolled down his eyes like a waterfall. Blood poured from his mouth down onto the ground. "STOP! STOP!" Stiles screamed but the nogitsune showed no mercy. It separated from stiles body and using telekinesis he hovered him up into the air as he began to choke him . Stiles still vigorously shaking, he grabbed his throat in trial to breathe. He smashed him into every wall in sight leaving heavy dents in the walls. Every bone was broken in his body but the nogitsune was the only thing keeping him alive. He dropped him on the floor snapping his wrists. He cried out as he wishes he just died. He looks at the nogitsune. He whispered restlessly "p-plea-please st-stop. Let my friends g-go. Take me a-away. I - I c-cant stand th-this" the nogitsune stopped the seizure with a flick of a finger. "But your friends are all dead" the nogitsune said as it released this dark energy that soared like a tsunami towards stiles."Now , you will become what I became and we will be eternally bound! No escape now Stiles! You are MINE! YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME EVER AGAIN! YOU WILL BE.....THE VOID!

The darkness engulfed his broken lifeless body as it started to burn his blood and replace it with coal black venom. He didn't have the power to scream, he just lay there begging for it all to be over. 'What if this is all another dream? What if nothing is happening? What if I'm just having another nightmare' he though, releasing every bit of energy he had left in his body. "WAKE UP, STILES! WAKE UP!" He shouted. He opened his eyes and he was in the same place , bloody and dead. He looked around and seen this was never a nightmare. He lost everyone, everything. Alison, Scott,Lydia and Malia as well. 'This is so unfair' he thought. "I'm sorry" he whispered before his body was possessed by another nogitsune spirit. His body lifted as he began walking towards his dads house. He broke down the door and walked over to him. "Stiles?" Sherrif asked in worry that it was not him. " You are highly mistaken. My name is abadon! I'm a servant of hell, I came to kill! Your son? He's half dead. The only thing left of his is this vessel. Prepare to die!" the dark spirit said in angst as he launched for stiles father. He grabbed him by his police shirt and pulled his hair back as he bit him onto the neck releasing toxic black venom that would burn out all of his inside organs, including skin. He threw him into a wall and grabbed as much glass as he could find and threw it at him with such anger and vengefulness that it seemed completely inhumane. "IT WAS MY FAULT THAT CLAUDIA DIED? WASN'T IT?! THATS WHAT YOU SAID! RIGHT?!!" He holerred at his dad as he took an iron bar. Sheriff stilinski screamed in agony of this torture. "Stiles , I know you are in there , please. You can fight this." He said as he was bleeding from every part of his body. His veins started to simmer through his skin as it melted everything in its way. He screamed in pure agony. "STILES , YOU CAN FIGHT IT! I BELIEVE IN YOU SON! "

Those words of courage made everything seem limitless. Stiles was still inside his own vessel but he didnt control it. One little step and he can break free. He started the countdown...3...2...1...and there it was. He smashed into the core of his body and his vessel fell onto the ground broken and bruised. It took a mere second to remember the agony of his own suffering that the nogitsune gave him. He screamed ever so loudly that it filled every corner of the house. "Dad!!" He yelled. "Kill me!". The sheriff looked at him as if he was out of his mind. " no, you are my son. We can fix you up, we can figure this out , we can save you. ". Stiles shook his head as tears strolled down his cheeks " there's no saving for me anymore. I'm barely alive. Please dad, let me go. I'll tell mom you love her" he stuttered as he talked to his dad. Sherrif took out the gun and pointed it to stiles head. "I love you son, remember that. " Stiles smiles at his dad with any remaining strength before the sheriff pulled the trigger.

[bsognin]

Thunder

You’ve always been scared of thunder.

  Ever since you were a child.

  Coming home from school wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Your life has always been different. You had your good days, and you had your bad days. But for some reason there were more bad days than good.

  And now, while Damon’s holding you in his arms, you’re scared. Hell, you’re terrified. You want nothing more than to disappear. You hate it. You hate the loud noise, you hate the way it looks, and you hate the memories. The loudest are always the most painful.

  BOOM.

  You’re suddenly seven again and back in your old bedroom. You’re clutching your knees to your chest and rocking back and forth slowly, panting heavily. “You better get your ass out here, runt!” The tears come fast. You want it to go away. You’d do anything to make it go away.

  “I’m scared!” You call out. “Help!”

  Her knocks come loud and you almost die from the amount of fear inside you. “Make it stop!” You scream, holding your hands to your face as if they’ll protect you from the demon that is your mother.

  “If you don’t come out this instant I’ll make you stop! Get out here right now!” You hate this woman. This woman is the reason you’re distant, she’s the one to blame. Ever since those lonely nights you can’t stand the sound of it. Her knocks sound just like the roaring claps of thunder.

  “You’re fine, Y/N. Calm down.” Damon shushes your loud cries as he rubs your back soothingly. “Just ignore her,” He whispers into your ear softly. “She’s not going to hurt you anymore.” He drags a hand through your loose curls and begins to shush you again, knowing that her voice is only getting louder. “Just let it go, Y/N. Let her go.”

  You only wish it were that easy.

[imaginesjustinbieber]

Your wedding day with Justin

imagine its your wedding day and you're in the hotel room getting your hair and makeup done. You hadn't seen Justin in almost 24 hours and that was the longest the two of you had gone without seeing each other since you got engaged. 

Someone knocked on the door and before you knew it Pattie was walking in with your daughter in her arms still in her pajamas, she had just turned 2 and looked exactly like Justin. You loved how in love Justin was with her since she was born, he treated her like the princess she is and was always spoiling her. 

"Brought her here to see if mommy can help her get changed." Pattie said while standing behind you looking into the mirror that was in front of you. "Justin couldn't because he still needed to take a shower and get ready." 

You tell Pattie to ask your mom to dress her and let you finish getting ready.

Once you're finally done you look at yourself in the mirror and smile, you were finally marrying your best friend since you were kids and the father of your child, and you were kind of hoping that there would be more little babies, but you knew Justin and you knew that the two of you would have many children. 

You're dad finally comes into the room once everyone leaves to get ready and tells you how stunning you look, you still couldn't believe that you two were finally getting married. 

Before you and Justin found out that you were pregnant he had proposed to you while you were on a vacation, about two weeks later you found out you were pregnant and Justin told you that the wedding could wait as long as you wanted it to or you could get married next week, you picked the wait as long as you wanted and here you two were, two years after Lila was born you were getting married.

As you begin your walk towards the isle you begin to tear up and as soon as you turn and see Justin the tears just begin to flood down your cheeks. He looks so handsome in his tux waiting there at the end of the isle for you. 

The smile on his face was priceless, it was mixed with lust and love and just pure adoration for you. You didn't want to run down there and ruin this moment but you also couldn't stand being away from him any longer. 

Finally you thought as you reached Justin and your dad kissed you and shook Justin's hand. You walked up to the front and you could see Justin was tearing up while you walked down the isle and even thought you were done crying for right now, you started to cry again. 

Justin leaned over to you and whispered "I didn't think that you could get anymore beautiful, but I guess I was wrong. You look so stunning I couldn't take my eyes off of you and I never will."

The pastor was finally finished and you looked at Justin and he had this huge grin on his face. You giggle a little turn to Justin and mouth 'i love you' and he chuckles silently and mouths back 'i love you more'. 

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. Justin you may kiss your wife!" Justin drops your hands and grabs your cheeks and smashes his lips against yours. It was the most perfect kiss ever filled with everything, love, passion, lust everything any girl would be happy to have as her first kiss as a married women. 

[imaginesforyouandyou-blog]

First kiss

Luke- You and Luke were in his backyard jumping on the trampoline when you stopped and sat down on it he did the same then you asked "Why do you like me" at first he looked confused but then he moved his head side to side and smiled before responding." I like you because your nice,funny,beautiful and" he was hesitating on the last word "a-and your lips their so plum and kissable" he looked at you lips when he finished talking but then looked at you when he realized what he said, you leaned in to kiss him but he beat you and put a hand on your cheek and kissed you slowly but passionately. When you two pulled away you saw each other smiling. Beau- You and Beau were walking home from the park holding hands when it started to sprinkle you looked up at the sky and asked him"Do you think it's going to start raining soon" he responded " Nope I don't think so a little sprinkle of rain doesn't hurt" right when he fished his sentence it started raining no not raining it started pouring you gave him a look and said "You liar " " Well what do you want me to do I'm not a whether man " you two looked and each other and laughed "come one let's try to get somewhere dry" he said you two ran under a big tree that prevented most of the water away "y/n , your gonna catch a cold" "no I'm not " you said shivering "Here let me help" you thought he was going to hug you but you were wrong he was leaning down to kiss you you didn't know what to do but when his warm soft lips touched your cold ones you closed your eyes and both of you enjoyed your first kiss together. When you pulled apart your foreheads were touching each others and he asked you "Better?" "Better" you said with a big smile. Daniel - You and Daniel were driving to your house from your second date when he pulled up to the front of your house you didn't want to leave but you had to " Thanks I had a great time" you said opening the door to leave " Where do you think your going" he said . You looked at him confused and then he got out of the car and oped your door he extended his hand and said " A gentleman doesn't just drop off and girl and leave" he said you smiled and said "Thank you " He walked you up to your porch and you guys talked and then said your goodbyes he hugged you and started walking back to his car. You turned around to open your house door when someone spins you around and kisses you.You don't know who it is but then you see Daniels face and start kissing him back you two pulled apart and you said " why did you come back" "Well to kiss you I was going to before I left but your dad was watching" "oh " you looked down and started blushing he put one finger under your chin and lifted your head up he pecked your lips once more and said " I had a great time too " you smiled and watched him as he walked to his car you two waved at each other before he drove off. James- You were cooking dinner for you and James so it would be ready when he came home from work when you felt someone wrap their arms around your waist. You knew it was James and said " Hey babe how was work?"" Good same as always Daniel and Beau messaging around the whole time" you laughed "Why don't you go take a shower and I'll call you when it's ready" you said looking at him "ok love you I"ll be right back" he said as he kissed you on the cheek. Right before he left to go take a shower he reached in the ready pasta and ate it "James" you said he just pinched your cheeks and went to go shower. You set up the plates with chicken and pasta and went upstairs to get him. You walked into his and your room and told him " Babe foods ready" "ok coming " he walked up to you and laughed "what" you asked "Their's still pasta sauce from when I pinched your cheeks " he smiled "Wipe it off please James " you asked him.You thought he was going to wipe it off but instead he licked it you got chills on your back since it was so close to your lips "There" he said. You and him looked at each other until you felt your lips touch it was so perfect it couldn't be better. You two had bee kissing for a while when you pulled away and said " Babe the foods gonna get cold" "ok fine" you took his hand and laced your fingers with his you smiled and looked at them you loved that his were much bigger than yours. You started to walk out holding James hand but he didn't move "James come on I'm hungry" but he just stood there pointing to his lips you sighed but kissed him and you were glad you did " I'm happy we finally had our first kiss" he said "me too" you guys then started walking downstairs to go eat. Jai- You and Jai were sitting on the floor you in between his legs with a controller in both of your guys hands playing mario carts " I'm gonna beat you " you said to Jai as you poked your tongue out "Not for long" he said you shook your head and laughed. You were so close to the finish line you could see it when he paused the game" Hey! What you do that for" " To do this" he stood up and pretended to stretch when he took your control and started running around the house "Hey come back" you said as you ran after him. You two kept chasing each other until you lost him you were in his room looking for him when you said" I'm gonna find you" you knew he was trying to scare you when you heard noise from the closet you knew he was in there so you started looking around the room for something he liked a lot you saw his beanie and picked it up your were leaving the room when you saw his phone"Aha looks like some people are gonna get some friendly texts" you ran out and hid in the bathroom shower when you heard Jai saying " No y/n I'm sorry your the winner give me my phone " You laughed and walked out of the shower you creeped up behind him and screamed he let out a loud girl scream. You burst out laughing "Don't scare me like that " he said "well you shouldn't cheat" you said as you gave him his phone "I known I'm sorry " he said as he walked up to you and hugged you "You were gonna win and you know what winner get " "What" you said "They get a prize" when he finished he started leaning down to kiss you, you closed your eyes and waited for his lips to meet yours and when they did it was the best feeling ever you had tons of fireworks and bombs in your stomach. He pulled away and smiled " Round 2 " he said with an even bigger smile " Your on" you said and shook his hand

[taehyungharder]

Long Niall Imagine Part 20

Part 20 of Long Niall imagine. *Morning* "I will miss you mum." "I will miss you too. Come on let's go to your Aunt's House." I carry her things and went to Aunt's. "Maura, you're leaving? With Niall?" "No just me, I let Niall to stay. Can you take care of him while I' away?" "Mum I can take care of myself." "Sure, but where are you going?" "US." "Wait for us, we'll drive you to the airport." Uncle says. We wait for Aunt and Uncle to get dressed, but I wonder where (Y/N) is. "Ken, where's (Y/N)?" "Upstairs on her room. Wait I call her." "Okay thanks." *** (Y/N's) P.O.V. "(Y/N), Niall is looking for you." "Okay, Just wait." I washed my face and try to smile so they will not see that I'm crying all night. I went downstairs and saw them. "Hey Aunt Hey Niall. So your flight is today?" "Yes sweetheart. But Niall is not coming with me I let him stay here." "Really? But why?" "Just don't ask." She smiled and looked away. "(Y/N) we will drive Aunt to the airport, wanna come?" "Sure." I hugged Aunt Maura and I say "Aunt take care of yourself there, you know that you're like my second parent here." "Of course I will." She smiles and hug me. "So we ready?" Mum says. "Maura where are your things? I'll carry it." "Over there. Thanks." *** Niall's P.O.V. "So here it is I'll be away for 2 months." "Mum! I love you." I said and cry harder. "Don't worry about me, your brother is there I'll be fine." She starts crying too. All of us hugged mum and after that she walked away and carry her things. Aunt and Uncle hugged me so I will feel better. "Come on let's go home now." *** "Niall you can use the guess room for a while." "Thanks Uncle." "Anytime." "So, feel at home." He closed the door, I grabbed my things and arranged it. I saw a photo album in one of the drawers. I opened it and I saw the baby pictures of (Y/N), I sat down on my bed and  can't erase the smile on my face. But someone knocks on the door. I hide the album under the pillow. "Come in." "Niall, time for lunch." So I went dowstairs with Aunt. End of Part 20. Thanks for reading. :)

[imaginesjustinbieber]

Christmas imagine!

Imagine it was christmas eve and Justin was back home in canada and you were at your house, the last time you saw him was about 2 weeks ago and you missed him so much and just skype calls and facetimiing him wasnt' gonna do anything for you, it just made you miss him even more, because all you wanted to do was hug him and kiss him. So that morning you didn't even want to get out of bed but your mom was calling you from downstairs for you to come down, you groaned and slowly stood up, you went and brushed your teeth and hair and didn't even bother putting on a bra because you knew you were just gonna go back to bed after whatever she needed you for. You made your way downstairs and before you hit the last steps you heard the familiar laugh of your boyfriend. you suddenly got so excited and ran into the kitchen to find your mom dancing and singing to one of justin's songs, all alone. you were so upset that you went back upstairs and got in bed, you started crying and alls you wanted was justin to hold you. A couple of hours later around lunch you finally got dressed in your favorite pair of leggings and a big sweater, and went downstairs. You walked into the kitchen and started making some tea before you could take a sip of your tea someone knocked on the door, you turned around expecting your mom to get it but she was no where to be found, you groaned and walked to the door, opening it without bothering to ask who it was. Once you looked at who was at the door, all you could see was a whole bouquet of red roses and the legs of someone, before you could say anything Justin popped his head from behind the rose and smiled. 'merry christmas gorgeous' you couldn't even reply you were just so happy, you ran out to him even though there was snow everywhere and you only had socks on, and jumped into his arms. He spun you around and then walked into the house. 'I've missed you so much!' you started crying but Justin was kissing your tears away. 'i missed you too, i promise i'll never leave you for longer then two weeks again, I don't know how we did it.' you giggled and justin pressed his lips to yours. after a while of telling him everything thats going on for you in school and stuff justin couldn't keep his hands off of you and you began making out on the couch. 

[bsognin]

Rage

He leans towards the microphone; trying to get close enough so everyone can hear him.  He wouldn’t want anyone to miss it.  “Hi,” He says. “I know not everyone here knows me, so allow me to introduce myself.” He’s speaking with the best of manners because he knows you would’ve wanted him to. “I’m Dan Howell,” He parts his lips to speak again. “I am—or was, Y/N’s boyfriend of six years.”

Those who do know Dan don’t appreciate his presence.  They accepted him to attend because you wanted him to.  You’ve always wanted your family to accept him.  And even here and now, they still don’t.

“Y/N was the most beautiful, smart, and talented woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Dan looks around the room.  He makes eye contact with Phil, whom gives him a reassuring smile.  It’s not a happy smile; it’s a sad smile, one deserving to escape on this certain day.  “She made me so happy.” Dan bites his lip in attempt of holding back his tears.  “When we parted ways for the first time,” He starts, allowing one single tear to fall down to his chin. “Life for me was hell.”

  “I would do nothing but lay in bed thinking about how much of an idiot I was.  And I guess that’s when it started.” He lifts a hand to rub the back of his neck—something he often does when nervous.  “I wouldn’t know, though.  I hadn’t seen her in months.  But I’m guessing it was hard on her, too.”  He lets out a ragged, well deserved, sigh. “Once I got the strength to get out of bed, I went to visit her.  If I hadn’t done that, we wouldn’t have gotten back together.”

He steals a glance at your mother, watching as no sympathy appears on her face as he continues to speak, not that he thinks she would feel any towards him.  He looks at your father.  No sympathy.  Dan grows angry.

“God damn it,” He says loudly, throwing his fist against the podium. “I’m here trying not to break down and you’re all just sitting there.” His anger is what ended it for you.  He tries not to remind himself he’s the reason why you left, but sometimes it just slips out.  “I know you all hate me but will you please just—“ He looks around the room nervously.  Everyone’s staring at him.  They all think he’s crazy, mad even.  They want him to go back into that mental hospital.  They think that’s where he belongs.

            “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to stop her, okay? I’m—“ He stops himself.  His vision stars to blur; he can’t take it.  He looks down at his feet, feeling the room start to spin.  He takes deep breaths, attempting to calm himself down but failing miserably. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers into the microphone.  And with that, he steps off stage.

[bsognin]

Letters From The Dead

“It’s been—what?  Six years of us being together?  That’s a long time.”  You comment, but you grow sad when you hear no reply.  “God—who am I kidding?” You mutter to no one but yourself.  Who’s going to reply?  You stand up and stare at the vanilla cake sitting on the table.  You baked it yourself.  You’d spent such a long time baking it; you wanted to make sure Dan would like it.  That is, if he were here to see it.  You like to imagine he’s happy where he is now.

You slowly push the cake off the table, making sure it lands in the trash bin that’s sitting next to the table.  You’re proud of the job you did on the cake, but if no one is going to enjoy it, what’s the point of keeping it around?  All it’s going to do is remind you that today is two days, 36 hours, and 2160 minutes since he left. 

You swallow back your tears and look at the picture of Dan that you cherish most.  You always keep it sitting on the dining room table, just incase you need a little reminder to keep living.  You’re not going to lie; life’s been hard ever since that night.  Damn, life’s been hell.

You don’t want to go on anymore.  All you want to do is be with him but you can’t.  You don’t enjoy living without him, you’ve tried to move on but you can’t.  He was your one and only.  Without him there’s no one.  You have the same schedule everyday: wake up, get ready, go to work, come home, and go to bed.  With Dan you two would do something exciting everyday, throwing you off your schedule.  But you didn’t care.  That was the way you liked.

You even write letters to him.  You don’t put them in the post, though.  If you did where would you address it to?  You don’t know where he is.  All you know—All you hope is that he’s happy.  He brought this upon himself.  You thought you were there for him, but that one night proved that you weren’t.  He didn’t even leave a note.  What kind of person doesn’t leave a note?  Don’t all? 

You pick up the picture frame and hold onto it tightly.  You stare at the picture.  He’s smiling in the picture.  Him and his fucking fake smiles.  Up until that night you thought they had been real.  You thought he cherished being with you.  You thought he loved you.  But if he really loved you would he have done it?  Wouldn’t he still be here?  What made him so unhappy?

You scream in agony, dropping the picture frame onto the floor.  You gasp as the glass that had been caressing the beautiful photo of Dan shatters against the hard wood floor. “Fuck you.” You say.  You drop your head into your palms and sob quietly, finally letting yourself go. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.” You mutter.  The pain, it hurts a lot.  It hurts so much it’s almost unbearable.

You look down at the floor, frowning as you realize you’ve broken the picture frame Dan picked out.  You two had gone to a carnival and he loved that frame so much you bought it for him.  But now you’ve gone and broken it.  You bite back the tears.  You feel like your dinner that you didn’t eat is coming back up your throat.  You don’t feel too well.

You’re about to go to the bathroom when suddenly you spot a slip of paper peeking out of the back of the frame.  You bend down slowly, picking up the note carefully and dusting off any of the glass that remains on the paper.  You unfold it cautiously.  You have absolutely no idea what it is, what’s on it, and who it’s from.  You blow away the dust that’s on the paper and see it’s addressed to you.  It reads:

Dear my wonderful Y/N,

  I’ve been thinking about it lately.  You know that discussion we had that one time about death?  Yeah.  I’ve been thinking about death again.  I’ve tried not to, I promise you I have.  But I can’t help myself.  I know you told me to talk to you if I ever started thinking about it again, but I don’t want to ruin your mood.  You seem so giggly and cheery lately.  It makes me smile. 

  Dan x

  - - -

You sigh, opening the fridge and looking for some milk.  You reach for it and accidentally drop it on the floor, causing the carton to open and spill milk all over the floor. “I don’t even care.”  You say to the carton. “I don’t even care anymore.”

You walk over to the couch and collapse on it, not allowing yourself to cry.  All you ever want to do is cry.  You don’t want that to be all you want to do.  You want to go outside and enjoy yourself, but how can you when the one man you love isn’t with you anymore? 

You sit there for hours.  You get up when you hear a loud, obnoxious knocking at your door.  You sniffle, wiping your tears away with the back of your thumb and making your way to the door.  You take a deep breath and open it slowly.  You see Phil standing there with open arms.  You swallow and run into his arms.  You sob for what seems like forever.  “It hurts so much.”  You cry into Phil’s chest.  All he can do is pat your back and say it’s going to be okay.  He needs to be strong for your sake.  You’re grateful for that.

Phil stays over at your flat for the next few hours.  He gets up to get you a glass of water when you ask for it, and he walks to the kitchen.  You don’t hear him for a few minutes until he calls you into the kitchen.  You enter with a questioning look on your face, silently asking him why he hadn’t just left you to die on the couch.

He’s holding something.  A slip of paper.  You quickly grab it, stealing it from him.  You hold it close to your chest.  You hope it’s another note from Dan.  You haven’t gotten one in a few days.  You close your eyes and pray that it’s from him.  You open the note and see it’s addressed to you, just like the last time. 

Dear my beautiful Y/N,

  I know what you’re doing.  You’re not eating because you don’t think you look good enough.  I may not be there to remind you that you look beautiful all the time, but you do.  You are beautiful in every which way.  Remember that.

  Dan xx

You smile.  You lift the note up to your lips and kiss it lightly, watching as your lipstick stains the white paper.  You look up towards Phil.  “Where did you find this?”  You ask.  He points at the toaster.  “It was taped on the side.”  He explains.  You walk over to the toaster and stare into it.  You can see your reflection.  He’s always been so clever.  He always knows exactly what’s on your mind, even if he’s not with you.

- - -

You take a handful of Dan’s old shirt and cry into it, allowing your fresh tears to soak the thin fabric.  It’s your favorite shirt of his.  It has little cats on them and you’re pretty sure he bought it from Drop Dead Clothing.  You inhale any of the scent that’s remaining on the shirt; it still smells like Dan.  It still smells like his Gucci cologne he insisted he had to buy. 

You suck in your breath and exhale slowly.  This is how you try and calm yourself down when you’re very upset.  You lay the t-shirt out on the bed you used to share with Dan.  You smooth out any of the wrinkles you spot and stare at the shirt for a moment.  It reminds you of all the times you and Dan had together.  It fills your mind with wonderful memories you’d relive any day.

You turn his old shirt inside out.  You’re not very shocked when a piece of paper falls out of one of the sleeves.  To be honest, that’s what you were hoping to find.  You smile and take the note into your possession.  You unfold it carefully, not wanting to rip it.  You see it’s addressed to you at the top.  Your smile widens.

Dear princess Y/N,

  Still obsessed with this shirt I see.  Keep it.  I won’t need it.  It looks better on you, anyway.

  Dan xxx

- - -

You get into bed early, looking at the right side of the bed; the side of the bed Dan used to sleep on.  He liked that side because on the left side is where you two kept the alarm clock that woke you up for work every morning.  He didn’t like to be woken up early.

You reach for your favorite book, which is placed on the night side table next to your bed.  You grab it and flip to one of the pages marked with a yellow post-it.  You see, you like to mark the happy parts with yellow flags, and the sad parts with the green flags.  You’ve been reading the happy parts lately.  You watch as a small slip of paper falls out of the page you opened up to.  You smile.  You unfold the note slowly.

Dear my sweet Y/N,

  I don’t want to leave you.  I want to leave living.  It’s not fun for me anymore.  I don’t want to say I hate it—but I do.  I hate it.  It’s hard.  It’s not enjoyable.  We’ve always talked about our lives being our stories, and I think that is beautiful.  But my story is coming to an end.  Beyond this page lays nothing but blank text.  You’ve always told me to write my story, as I want.  And this—this is what I want.  I love you, so, so much, Y/N.  You’re the only thing that makes me want to stay.  But that isn’t enough.  You’re not always going to be there for me, and that’s okay.  I want you to know that it’s not your fault I’m unhappy.  And once I’m gone I don’t want you to lock yourself up.  Hang out with someone.  Find someone new to love.  Because I’m not always going to be there for you, and that’s okay.

  Dan xxxx

Ps. I’m always going to love you.

[bsognin]

Sunday

  First comes the screaming.  At midnight you start screaming.  Dan has his arms around you in an instant.  But you don’t stop.  You don’t stop until it’s all stopped.  Usually, this would be the part where you’d go to your dresser and get the pills.  But you’re at Dan’s house.  And your pills aren’t here.  You figure that if you ignore the pain it’ll go away.  He never told you what would happen if you didn’t take the pills once the pain and the screams started.

  Dan’s dragging his fingers through your hair and he’s asking you what’s wrong.  He looks terrified.  You spend Sundays alone for a reason.  You don’t want anyone to see you like this.  You drag yourself off the edge of the bed, taking the covers down with you.  You stand up as quickly as you can, wrapping the covers around your naked body.  You begin to walk towards the door but you fall on the floor.  It’s too late for the pills now.  It’s been started.  You use your elbows to try to crawl to the door.  “What’s going on?”  Dan finally asks.  You don’t reply. 

  Your screams transform into heavy pants.  You feel them coming—the claws—they’re coming in through your skin, they’re—they’re ripping your flesh.  You scream once more in agony as they break skin.  They grab at your upper arms.

  Of course, through Dan’s eyes you just look like you’re having a stroke on the floor.  He doesn’t understand.  And he never will.  No one understands.  You’re in this game alone.  There is no player two, there’s only player one. 

  The fur is starting to grow now, all over your arms.  But the stinging is gone and the pain is away.  You’re a danger to Dan and to yourself—you know that.  You reach for something—anything you can get your hands on to defeat yourself.  You spot a knife on his bedside table, it’s right next to a plate and a fork, and it must’ve been for something he was eating.  Why else would he have a knife in his room?

  You take a look at Dan.  He’s just gotten off the phone.  You know he called an ambulance.  You use your elbows to make your way to the bedside table.  Dan sees what you’re going for and gets there before you do.  He’s at full strength, where as with you you’re battling the demon that is yourself, so it’s kind of hard to be at full strength. 

  You reach out your hand for the knife, but Dan slaps it away. “What’s going on, Y/N?! Tell me what’s happening, tell me what’s wrong!” He screams.  You see the fear in his face, it makes you sad.

  You reach for the knife again and that’s when the paramedics burst through the door.  You try to reach for it and you stretch out your arm until you feel yourself touch the end of the knife.  The paramedics take you by the arms and hold you against the wall.  They try to place you on a medical bed but you fight back.  You scream about needing to go back to your house and needing to be alone.  A paramedic stands next to you with a needle filled with Benzodiazepine.  He injects it into your skin.  You feel your body go limp.  The strength you had leftover disappears and you find yourself drifting off.

  You wake up in a hospital bed feeling very weak.  You look around the room for Dan.  The only thing you want to know is if you’ve hurt him.  If you hurt him you know you won’t be able to live with yourself.  Finally you spot him outside your hospital room talking to one of the doctors.  The doctor is holding a clipboard.  You hate clipboards.  Ever since your physiatrist told you what you had you’ve hated them.  They hold the truth; you don’t like the truth.

  “Y/N has a reputation for stunts like the one she preformed last night.  You being her boyfriend of a year I would’ve thought she had told you.”  Dan shakes his head at the doctor, implying he doesn’t know whatever the doctor does.  You don’t want him to know.  He’ll judge you, just like the rest have. “Well seeing as you don’t know and you have a right to, I’ll tell you.  Two years ago Y/N was diagnosed with a rare syndrome called Clinical Lycanthropy.  It makes her think she’s turning into a werewolf and/or is one.”

  Dan has the look they all have had.  They all have that look after hearing the news.  They all think you’re mad.  They all don’t like you anymore, and they don’t want to be near you because they’re worried you’ll hurt them.  They’re worried your delusions will get in the way of your relationship.  They’re all disappointed that they fell for a girl as crazy as you.  You really hope Dan is different.

[bsognin]

Birthday Boy

You get out of bed slowly, making your way into the kitchen. You walk over to the coffee maker and switch it on, putting it on the setting used for coffee for two. You hear him walking towards the kitchen, so you quickly look around for the present you placed around the area yesterday. You spot it behind the napkin holder and walk over there quickly. You stand in front of the neatly wrapped gift and smile at Dan when he enters. “Morning, birthday boy.” He chuckles lightly at what you’ve just said.

“So, what do you want to do for your birthday?” You ask him. He shrugs and puts a piece of bread in the toaster. You watch as he leans against the counter and rests his palms against it for extra support. “How does cuddling and watching movies sound?” That gets a smile out of him.

“Perfect.” He says, walking over to you. He presses his bare chest to yours, which is covered with one of his old t-shirts. He leans down and presses his lips to yours lightly. He does this multiple times, leaving you wanting more when all he’s giving you is a few pecks. “So far, this has been the best birthday ever.”

“Why’s that?” You ask while getting your fingers tangled in his dark brown fringe. You’ve always loved his hair. And his hands. And his torso. And his—well, you love everything about him. He parts his lips slowly to speak.

“Because I get to spend it with you.” He kisses you once more. You feel blush rise to your cheeks, making them a crimson red color. He always has this effect on you, even if he’s just making a cheesy joke. You lean up towards him for a kiss, and he kisses back. You both pull away when the alarm on the coffee maker goes off.

“I have something for you.” He smiles and groans at the same time, and you know he’s about to give you the you didn’t need to get me a gift speech. He gives you this whenever you get him something, he always smiles while telling it, and he knows you’ll still give the gift to him. He simply gives it to try and be polite. You just think it’s funny how he tries to act like he doesn’t want to accept it.

You turn around and take the small gift in your grasp. You face him and hand it to him. He takes a step back, resuming his position of leaning against the counter. He sighs, and you know what’s coming. You try to prevent it. “Dan, don’t tell me that I shouldn’t have gotten you anything, because I did. So just open the goddamn present.” You order him. He laughs at your words and rubs his eyes, probably still adjusting to the lights in the room. He has only woken up five or ten minutes ago. He opens his present quickly, but still manages not to damage any of the wrapping paper. He gasps and gives you a loving look. You got him seasons of Doctor Who and Dexter.

He pulls you into a comfortable and sweet hug. You breathe in his smell; enjoying the love he supplies you with. Wow, you think, I really love this boy.

[bsognin]

Sane

You’ve both lost someone very close to you, you your older brother, and Dan his best friend. The only thing is, Dan’s been taking it a lot harder then you have, if that’s possible. He’s been in his room ever since the funeral. You at least go out to see if he’s okay, or to use the restroom.

Today, you haven’t checked on Dan yet. You check on him everyday, because he’s beginning to worry you. You knock on his door softly. There’s no reply. He usually gives you a grunt to let you know it’s okay to enter, but today he didn’t. You push the door lightly, and it opens, revealing the messy room Dan has been keeping himself in for weeks.

You don’t see him. You usually spot him on his bed sobbing, but not today. Your heartbeat quickens of the sight of him missing from his spot. You enter his room quickly, throwing things around in search of him. You see his bathroom light on, the door almost fully shut. You rush over to it, and now there are tears streaming down your face. You open the door slowly; afraid of what could lay behind.

There, on the floor, Dan lays. You stand there. You don’t believe it, you don’t want to believe it. You knew he would do it. He talked about it to you. And you knew he would end up trying it, you just thought you would be there to stop him.

There was a piece of paper next to the pills on the side of his bathroom counter. The ones he consumed to put himself in this state. You take the note in your hands and try not to shake. You’re able to see what’s written, even though the paper is soaked with Dan’s tears.

It reads: I’m sorry.

Not only have you lost your boyfriend, but now you’ve lost the one person who’s kept you sane.

[bsognin]

Forgotten

You wait for him to take a good look at you.  And watch as his eyes travel around all your features, searching for a sign that shows you were once his.  He looks at your lips; those big pink plump ones he’s always thought were gorgeous.  And you really don’t know he doesn’t remember, because those lips… those lips were once pressed to his.  And you didn’t think he’d forget something like that.  And if he truly forgot, you don’t know what you’ll do.

You stand at his door.  He’s towering over you just like he always has.  And your long dark hair is slid over your shoulders as you look up at him with disgust.  How could he forget you?  How could he forget the one whom he lost his virginity to?  He can’t.  So you don’t know what’s going on.

He stares at you, and you don’t know what to do.  You don’t know what you were doing at his apartment door.  You hadn’t thought this through.  You two had ended your relationship over five months ago, but for some reason you cant get him out of your head.  And now, standing at his door, you just wish he’d remember.  He has questioning look on his face, too.  As if to say, “Who are you?  What are you doing here?”  And that look.  He never gave you that look.  You’ve never been a stranger to him, and that fact that you are now…it breaks you.  But you’ve been broken too many times before; you don’t want to be shattered again. 

So you turn around and stare at the long hallway behind you.  You remember when you used to sleepover at his place, and he’d walk you to the elevator and pick you up and twirl you around and kiss you.  You want that back.  But he’s forgotten you, and you’re not sure you want to remind him.  Because reminding him, is the next step of ending your relationship again.  And you start to think, that maybe he wanted to forget.  Damn, even you want to, but you can’t.  His stupid smile is stuck in the back of your mind, and his stupid jokes are too. 

You look back at him.  And swallow.  You look him in the eye, and have to stop yourself from crying.  You part your lips to speak.  And what you say isn’t true.  You say, “Sorry.  I must be at the wrong door.”  And he smiles at you, and he nods.  And then he replies with his stupid voice of his that you could listen to on repeat.

“That’s okay.  Have a good day.”  He says.  And he shuts the door.  And you look towards the floor, and under the mat, you recognize a little white envelope.  The one you had left him to read.  The one where you had apologized, and begged him to let you be his again.  You bend down.  You pick it up, and you look at the front, remembering how you had been crying when writing those words.  You don’t take it.  You simply, slide it under his door.  You never thought you’d be forgotten.  

[bsognin]

Heart Attack

"Damn it, Dan, why'd you have to go." You say, falling to your knees. You drop your head in your palms and sob loudly. The tears drop into the soil just above where he was buried. "I visit you every god damn day thinking you're gonna come back. But you never do."

"The least you can do is give me a sign that you're happy so I won't want to kill myself." You sniffle. "All I need to know is that you're happy, Dan. That's all." You hear some rustles from a nearby bush. And stand up immediately, attempting to dry your tears. You don't tell anyone you visit Dan's grave. They'll think you're weak. Just like they always have. Your parents think you're at your friend's house.

They don't even care enough to ask which friends'. You have none. Dan was your friend. He was also your best friend. Boyfriend, too. He was always there for you when you needed him. He would come to your house if you didn't text back. He wanted to make sure you were okay.

The place he was buried is where he first kissed you. And where you two lost your virginity to each other. This beautiful park is full of so many wonderful memories. But then again, it is where he died. And that's one memory you hate to remember.

And even though it's been years since he had a heart attack in the park, you still want to have him back.

[bsognin]

Hope

“Yeah.”  He replies.

“I hate them.”  You whisper.

“No.  No you don’t.”  Dan tells you.

You lay back on your bed.  You pull your knees up to your chest, forming a ball shape.  You tilt to the left side of your bed, and you lie there, facing the wall.  You just want to be alone, but you know Dan wont let you do that. 

He’s probably afraid you’ll do something if he’s not there.  He’s one of the only friends you’ve ever had.  He knows what you do when you’re upset, so he never leaves you alone when you’re upset.  It can get annoying, but you think it’s sort of cute that he cares so much about you.

He lies down next to you, so that his chest is against your back.  You don’t move.  The feeling of his chest pressed against you feels nice, it gives you a bit of reassurance that everything will be okay.

He wraps his arms around you.  Not exactly in a romantic way, but in a comforting way.  Dan’s been your best friend for years now.  And you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t formed a crush on him over the years. 

You unwrap your arms from your body, allowing Dan to wrap his arms around your waist tightly.  He kisses your head lightly, not speaking.  And he holds you.  And it’s nice.  It’s comforting.

And him holding you gives you some hope that maybe your parents will get back together.