#look maybe im just tired idk but this made me laugh SO FUCKING HARD

[frostbeees]

"we put like ten potatoes on ours..."

[lonophobic]

“at least i finally got you back.”

tartaglia x male reader

pt. 2 of “should’ve just begged for me in the first place, huh?”

tw: smut, bottom!male reader, huuuggeeeee size difference, foul legacy!childe, dubcon? idk reader doesn’t stop him 🤷, fingering, humiliation, dumbification (kinda), crying, overstimulation, toys, reader almost passes out, childe big peepee hehe 🤭, im super fucking indecisive about what to call him at the beginning so all childe, tartaglia, and ajax are used, i think thats it maybe this is a long one

genre: smut (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

summary: tartaglia gets revenge, maybe a bit overboard though.

a/n: i hate myself

part 1

—

you had no idea how exactly this happened. actually, you did, but it made you feel a certain feeling.. fear? excitement? you weren’t sure, but you knew one thing for sure: there was no way you would be walking the next day.

ajax had asked you on a day together, as he had gotten the day off, granted by the great tsaritsa herself. just to note: it was just about a week after you fucked the living daylights out of tartaglia. the day started off nicely, actually. the two of you had a relaxing walk around liyue harbor, getting some snacks on the way. then, as the sun began to set, he had asked you to a duel, a friendly, innocent little match. and being relaxed and a bit tired from the day, you obliged.

maybe it was his talk during the match that caught you off guard, or maybe you were just tired, but he managed to hit you from the back, which gave him the opportunity to pin you down to the floor. you chuckled, you didn’t even get to use your elemental powers that much when he went into his foul legacy form. the man, who was about twice the size you were, looming over you made you remember what he said that week before-“i’ll be sure to get you back sometime.”you stiffen as you remember his promise, laughing nervously as he stared at you intently.

“tartaglia- you’re not thinking of doing it right now, are you? i-uh- we’re both pretty tired from the day..”

tartaglia hummed a response, his voice distorted from his foul legacy form. he stared at you for another split second, when he grabbed both of your hands and put them above your head, then proceeded to tear off your clothes like paper, leaving you in your underwear. you flinched at the cold air against your skin, as the sun was about to set and the colder winds started to set in.

”don’t worry dear, you’ll warm up in no time.”

you looked up to see tartaglia’s mask gone, so you could see his face. his hair was still slicked back, so you could see how dark his eyes were; clouded in lust and danger. you stiffened- maybe you shouldn’t have gone too hard last week. you were lost in your thoughts for a few seconds, but you suddenly came back when you felt your underwear being pulled off, and looked down to see his cock, and- ah. there’s no way that would fit. it was almost as long as your arm, and archons knew how thick it was. tartaglia noticed your hesitance, and laughed softly.

”hey, i’ll help you prep yourself so it won’t hurt as much, alright?”

you nodded, biting your lip as you tried not to think of how it would even fit inside.~at first, he had you finger yourself while he watched. it was humiliating, sure, but it definitely helped to loosen you up a bit. soon after, he used his own fingers which were noticeably larger than yours. you squirming against his fingers, which were knuckle deep inside. they would prod around, trying to find something. he thrust his fingers a few more times, which drew several more moans out of you, when he suddenly curled his fingers inside of you. just before you could cum, he dove down to deepthroat your cock, his warm throat around you throwing you off the edge, staining his throat white. you felt him gag a bit, before he pulled back and swallowed.

he smiled, and pulled his fingers out of you. he placed you so that you were facing towards him, and you would be sitting on his lap if his cock wasn’t right below you. when he started to align his cock with your entrance, you stiffened. you weren’t too fond of having your body ripped apart by cock, and tartaglia could tell. he rubbed your shoulder reassuringly, and sent you a gentle smile. you tried your best to relax as you felt his large tip slowly breach your entrance. you let out a whimper, already feeling the painful stretch. he slowly got the whole tip inside, groaning at the tightness. you were already struggling to catch your breath, already feeling full from just the tip. how the fuck were you going to handle the rest?? he let you stay for a few moments, then slowly lowered your hips down so that you were just about halfway down. you could just about feel him in your stomach- you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes. he was too deep, and yet you were only about halfway down. he slowly pulled you back up, then dropped you back down to about halfway.

“HAHH-AugHhh..”

you moaned out- it felt too good, and yet it hurt so bad. you threw your head back, eyes rolling back to your skull. tartaglia seemed to have noticed the bulge on your stomach, which he took advantage of, and softly ran his fingers over it before pressing down on it harshly. you choked on a moan, and felt yourself cum for the second time this night. you spasmed around his cock, screaming into the night sky when he suddenly pulled you all the way down. you could’ve sworn that if he came, his cum would come out of your throat from how deep he was. however, you were just focusing on attempting to heal whatever he could have damaged while he feverishly thrusted in and of you as you felt like a cocksleeve; being used for his cock and his cock only. you felt yourself close already, and feeling him press up against your prostate sent you to cum again, strings of white spurting out of your cock. you heard tartaglia’s distorted moans and grunts, occasionally commenting about you-

“you’re so tight, i might’ve not prepped you correctly.”

“you feel my cock all the way inside, yeah? ‘promise to make you feel good.”

“how does foul legacy taste, huh?”

your arms were wrapped around his neck, digging your nails into his back. you could barely hear them at all; all you could think about was the cock you were bouncing on- how it slid in and out so easily, and yet still felt so big inside. the bulge that stretched your skin that showed you were barely able to keep it so deep inside.

“i’ll make you so addicted that you wouldn’t even want me to stop, ever.”

you could hardly process what he said, but you were already so drunk on his cock that you could barely feel yourself cumming over and over again. you faintly heard your own voice, and yet you could hear tartaglia’s grunts and groans as he thrusted as fast as he could, obviously close to his high. your vision was hazy, and you swore you saw stars when he pulled you down harshly and thrust up at the same time, groaning rather loudly as you felt something hot fill you up inside. it was liquidy, and you felt some of it start to leak out of your entrance and down your thighs. you twitched as you felt him pull out, his fingers scooping up the cum that dribbled down from your hole and pushing them back inside. you slumped against his chest, trying your very best to learn how to breathe again. you were drowsy, and about to fall asleep, when you heard tartaglia’s voice.

“aw, come on. you’re a half-god, right? if a mere human could take this, i’m sure you could as well, no?”

you flinched at his words, not knowing how to respond, not that you really could. whatever you tried to say came out as incoherent babbles, which seemed to amuse tartaglia. he reached back to pull something out of his clothes pocket- something oval-shaped, and a remote for something. then it clicked. it was a vibrator. you tried to push back against the harbinger, already twitching and sensitive beyond belief- you couldn’t possibly take more. unfortunately, tartaglia pulled you back to his chest, smirking against your hair. he took the oval-shaped vibrator and shoved it as deep as he could with his fingers. it wasn’t on yet, so it felt a bit strange to have one thing up inside, when it suddenly clicked on and you felt tartaglia’s dick entering you at the same time, slowly pushing the vibrator deeper and deeper. the vibrator pushed against your prostate as he started to fuck you again, your tears flowing down your cheeks as your eyes rolled back and your mouth hung open. your head was thrown back in pleasure, your hands gripping onto tartaglia’s shoulders as best as you could. with all of your strength depleted, you fell back onto his chest, your arms hanging from his shoulders and your head was resting on his chest. you were twitching all over, cumming once again as you let out quiet, hoarse cries every thrust. you were about to black out- it was way too much stimulation, even for a half-god such as you. to give you some credit, a regular human would have passed out several hours ago. you finally heard tartaglia let out a series of groans, curses, and moans, before he released inside of you once again. he pulled out, taking out the vibrator along with it, as you were on the brink of passing out. you felt a hand on your cheek, and you groggily turned to see tartaglia back in his human form, smiling at you. you groaned, preferring to nuzzle your head back into the crook of his neck again. he laughed, pressing a kiss onto your temple.

“sorry if i was a bit rough. i know it was your first time with.. the foul legacy stuff.”

“what, it wasn’t your first?”

“what?? no, of course it was! it just… felt too good, i couldn’t really hold back. but, hey.” he grabbed both side of your face with his calloused hands, making you face him.

“at least i finally got you back.”

—

words: 1684 words of smut

also tumblr on mobile is a bitch i have no idea how to fix those huge gaps in between the paragraphs so sorry if it bothers you 😕 (nvm it fixed itself lmao)

also now i can stare at the wall and slowly disintegrate i’ve done my job here

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

status of babbit's life yeehaw

tl,dr: busy moving and a couple of other big life things that just complicate things, but well on the way to being back to normal! new fic chapters and better quality art coming soon.

tl,wr (too long, will read):

Helloooo what's up its me, Babbit. or Rabbit. or Bones. or Idiot Moron Menace Child, idk im not picky lol

i know a lot of you guys have been wondering wtf is up with my upload schedule lately and the extreme lack of even basic content and also i am extremely aware that i have not updated my fics in a few millennia and for that i am very, very sorry. this post is to answer a few questions you might have, if anyone was curious about the 'reason' instead of just the 'when.'

my family and i have had a hell of a year, y'all. like, jesus christ, i really hope things level out and calm down for a while once we're moved in to our new apartment bc god damn we are so tired. the list goes: 1. we got kicked out of the house we were renting-to-own bc we wouldn't be able to afford the new rate, so they gave us two months to find a new place to live (not long enough, it turns out) and then foreclosed to get us out. 75% of our belongings were still in the house when we had to leave. that includes all of our christmas ornaments- including the ones kept for decades, and the ones made by me and my siblings, and the fancy ones made from blown glass. 2. the first night out of the house, one of our dogs, freaked out by the strangeness of the situation, panicked and slipped her harness and ran off. that was over a year ago. we haven't seen her since. 3. my cat got very ill and became unable to eat. she passed away almost exactly a year ago. she had been 14-15, and had been my baby since i was maybe 8. 4. one of the tires on my dads car blew out. during the night, while it was parked on the curb so he could put the spare on in the morning, one of the in-tact tires was fucking stolen LMAO 5. we applied to rent at so many places and got rejected so, so many times. it costs money to apply, btw. we're talking like $200+. no, u don't get that money back. 6. i lost my job bc knowing i would have to work 8 hours at a job that stresses me out to the point of exhaustion (at a place where no one takes me seriously and would actively laugh at me when i try to express my need to step away for a minute) sometimes paralyzed me and made me sick to my stomach and made me feel unable to leave the house, and i called out one too many times. a day after my birthday, too! 7. just recently, like within the last week, my dad's car got fuckin totalled!!!!!

THE GOOD NEWS IS WE OFFICIALLY, FINALLY, AFTER A SOLID YEAR, HAVE AN APARTMENT!!!!! I'LL HAVE MY OWN ROOM AGAIN!!! THERE'S AN ENTIRE KITCHEN!!!!!!!

the 'oh god' news is we still have to move in, and replace a lot of the stuff that we just couldn't take with us when we moved out (mostly stuff like bookshelves, dining table, dressers, etc) AND get the few things we could cram into a storage center out and moved into the new place, which isn't a lot but at the same time is more than we can realistically handle on our own. and then, we have to get my mums cats (a pair of kitty sisters that we had to temporarily house with my aunt, who got tired of looking after them and let them outside to be outdoor cats a few months ago. yes, this was an extremely shitty thing to do, and we've been working hard to get them back safely) AND my gecko (who my cousin has been looking after, even tho feeding him worms freaks him out LMAO yes i plan on compensating him) moved in, as well... basically oh my god there is so much to worry about but at the same time it's nice to have to worry about it bc it means we're making progress sdkfhsjdkfhdsjfh

basically i am just so tired but so busy and also thinkin abt so much im so sorry for lack of stuff but i am so looking forward to being able to bounce back, pls stick with me, it'll be sorted out soon i think and then i'll hit y'all with some good stuff i promise!!!!!!!

anyway thank u guys i love u and appreciate u all for sticking around

[misfithive]

Omg yessss someone who finally understands what it feels like 😭😭

I’m so tired of people always saying “this isn’t hs, this is a DrAmA series, what do you expect?” in that condescending tone that is used to make you look stupid, acting like we didn’t watch s1 and even with THAT finale, it made us stay and continue it. Bc s1 was balanced. Yes, very bad things happened but there were also calm and nice moments. And throughout the seasons the angst got more and more and the fluff got less and less. Excuse me if I’d like to see them happy for once especially since this is the very last season and what we got is that Simon is very sad, Wilhelm is losing his damn mind over and over again and two cute moments out of a thousand intense/angsty. It’s exhausting and it doesn’t make me excited to watch it. I don’t even rewatch s2 fully bc it’s too much, I’m scared I won’t be able to enjoy this one either…

Tbh idk how people can be so happy about seeing them once again go through hell, but maybe that’s me.

You know what months ago i probably would have tried to make u feel better and say that it’s probably gonna be nice moments in there as thats what i was telling myself for the past year that they are boyfriends now so they wont be fighting as bad but i did not know that there was a fate worse than fighting lmfao like i cannot get over the rock thru his window thats so traumatic. And “love isnt supposed to be this hard” LISA WHAT THE FUCK WHY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I need to see them happy and smiling and joking together bc if we dont see it we will never see it i feel like thats what the added pressure is. And the logical side of my brain is like well they will be joking around together at the palace from that teaser but then i’m like okay but then august ruins it and Wille is upset again at the meeting so idk im also finding it a bit exhausting. Its legit whiplash i was so happy to see them happy in the stills then that trailer came out of nowhere crushing my soul i think i just wasnt expecting it to be that intense i thought that one moment in the uniforms would be like the height of it.

I’m mostly scared bcs im serious that trailer really fucked me up and i want to be able to enjoy the season im scared its going to be too intense or trigger me in some way when all i wanted was to see them happy for more than 5 minutes. i dont want somber yes we are so in love but our lives are miserable. I genuinely need to see them LAUGHING AND HAPPY BCS THEY ARE 16 and this is so legitimately unfair 😭😭😭😭😭☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

[hikari-ni-naritai]

3 6 10 11 12 18 21 23 26 27 29 30 31 36 45 50 52 54 55 57 58 59 60 62 69 (nice) 74 76 86 87 90 95 97

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

man . theyre both kinda. painfully sweet. bubblegum i guess? i also like cotton candy tho its just hard to pick

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

i dotn know what like. most of these words mean. how are half of these related even. tomboy.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

man i fucked hard at dodgeball

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

these days shredded wheat

12. name of your favorite playlist?

the fuck is a playlist

18. ideal weather?

yknow, cloudy, warm, smells like its about to rain

21. obsession from childhood?

warriors cats babeyyyy. and bionicles

23. strange habits?

man i KNOW ive got some but i cant think what they are. i do this wrist flick manoeuver to crack it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

if im actually out in the warm weather? take a nice walk maybe.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

yknow. i havent done it in ages but i really like doing jigsaw puzzles. maybe put some jazz on.

29. best way to bond with you?

i dunno honestly! i dont have an answer to this one. it takes a lot of time and effort i think.

30. places that you find sacred?

the woods. the woods the woods the woods you have no idea. the woods. its the woods.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

i would die if i tried to do either of those things

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

like...... charlie the unicorn i think.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy obv

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

god there was something that destroyed me but idr what it was. the hardest in recent memory was me trying to tell a REALLY really stupid joke that wont make sense to any of you. i did not manage to say it bc i was laughing too hard.

52. favorite font?

i absolutely do not have an opinion on this

54. what did you learn from your first job?

you know at mcdonalds in order to work the grill you have to be willing to put your arms under a hot piece of metal that drips boiling grease on you? thats what i learned.

55. favorite fairy tale?

what IS my favorite fairy tale....... we'll go with red riding hood bc her modern interpretations are always the cutest

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

damn what. uhh ok, having to rebuild my entire social life after the shit that happened a couple years ago, the several year process of going from hyperconservative christian to a . whatever the hell i am now. some kind of far left girl. and uhhhh. figuring out i was trans i guess? idk

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

four??? im good at ff14 raiding, im good at writing, im good at.... uhh... im pretty funny i think, annnddddd uhhh. i dont know that its a talent, but i like to think im good at making people feel safe talking to me.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

heh... guess i shotcha... uhh 'god im fucking tired'

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

ISEKAI OBVIOUSLY specifically something like slime 300 but ill take almost any of them.

62. seven characters you relate to?

SEVEN............ god.... uhh hanako ikezawa, hikari finalfantasy (im cheating), (god i got to ONE and already had to start cheating...) yumiella dolkness, man im tappin out. look at my list of ocs i put way more of myself into them than there could ever be in any other character

69 nice. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i feel like i know how i know most of my fun facts bc if i didnt i would not really know if i could believe them or not.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like 8 or 9 probably. i dont really go below a 5 so. its gotta be like migraine or vertebral artery dissection bad before im like 'i should really get some meds'. unless im doing it preemptively which ive done for like when ive got raid later.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

man fuckin SCALLOPED POTATOES BABEY

86. cookies or cupcakes?

the amount of qualifiers this question needs.... cupcakes tho probably.

87. your greatest fear?

dying.

90. luckiest mistake?

i mean most of my mistakes havent been lucky, the best i can think of is when i accidentally followed my girl @handinvampirichand and now we're mutuals with wildly different taste in things but we're cool.

95. favorite app on your phone?

i like tumblr

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

uhh mine, my moms, my moms house, my brother's, my dads. jg wentworth 877 CASH NOW. so thats 6

[mokutone]

I'm drawing Kakashi for the first time (as much as I love them, I rarely ever draw naruto characters so this is a little fun and new for me) and I'm struggling a little bc I'm trying to draw him relaxed, reclining with pakkun (in the way I recline with my cat) and I'm realizing there's something so personal abt drawing him in such a vulnerable pose ig. Like? I'm very tired too rn so maybe I'm being extra emotional and rambly but there are so few scenes of kakashi in canon where he's not wearing the jounin vest, where he's alone and relaxed and out of uniform. And I didn't realize it until I was trying to think back to other similar scenes and there really weren't any. and I'm kind of mesmerized by how you draw him because you capture that so so well, your art is gorgeous but it's also so real and expressive in a way that shows a lot of practice and a lot of love. Idk i think I've said this before and I'm sorry if it's annoying that I'm saying it again (I'll just shut up after this lol) but I went to an art school and I had massive burnout and only really started drawing again in the past 6 months and you were one of my inspirations 2 start drawing again and I'm still not as good as I'd like to be but I draw so much more now and having an actual passion for art has led to a huge improvement, so thank you and thank u for bearing with me and my sleep-deprived rambles. I think my original point got sidetracked. I forgot why i started writing this ask.

dkgjhsdgkjdshg no i think you're 100% right abt the kakashi relaxed thing, even when we see him "relaxed" he doesn't ever really Look relaxed. like

here he is chilling out in the hot springs. this man does not look relaxed but he DOES look exhausted and maybe a little like he's gotten lost. somebody help this confused man find the exit.

anyway art + motivation talk beneath the cut

djhsdkjghsdkjhg thank u for all the compliments abt my art, i do work really hard in order to draw expressive characters, and spend a lot of time paying attention to how the small details in posture and expression change how the character comes across, and im glad it pays off!

also yeah no, similarly, once i left art school (when the pandemic hit) i did have a good 6 months where i did not pick up the pencil even once, and like, usually i feel rlly bad or guilty when i'm not drawing, but my burnout was real bad and i was straight up angry abt everything dgkjhsdgkjh so i just...didn't draw for like 6 months. i didn't even feel bad about it bc i was too busy being angry

and i had a bad relationship with art at the time and eventually realized i kind of had to like? make a different relationship with art—like, try to stop seeing art as something which gave me fundamental worth as a human being, or part of who i am? you know? that's a LOT of pressure to put on just...something that i do. if i took that kind of approach to literally any other task in my life, i'd never do it. imagine thinking that the way and style with which you descend the stairs gives you your worth as a person and if you don't do it exactly right then it means you're worthless as a person? buddy i'd just find a way to go down and out through the window LMAO

i think this is the thing which gives a lot of people burnout, it's exhausting to be constantly working on something and ALSO believe that if you fuck it up even a little, it's because you are the fuckup, and a fundamental failure of a person. god thats so much pressure.

anyway so i decided to make a naruto art blog because i don't even like naruto That Much but my best friend had been trying to get me into it for years (ty kate ilu kate), and so any art that i made would be purely for fun, wouldn't have anything to do with my self worth, and might make kate laugh too, and that's why this blog exists! and taking the pressure off of creating art like that has been enormously helpful to my mental health and my ability to create, also i take breaks alllllll the time, i'm like...way healthier about my art thanks to that, and also just...a nicer person, i think? anyway i'm very glad that i inspired you to get back into art but i'm far more glad that you've found a passion for it, cultivating that passion and joy is so important

[abysslll]

listening to the dazai playlist! forgor if u sent link or not n too lazy to check so im just hoping the "dazai osamu vibes" one is the right one

idk whats been saying in the first song but wooo! woooooo!!!!! adventure!!!!!!!

the GUILT this man has is violent. i am choking on it. but like guilt in a very numb way if that makes sense? hes done horrible things and hes just fucken desensitized by it at this point that he cant even bring himself to feel bad about it, but some part of him still hurts.

anger issues he explodes constantly. very slow work up before it just goes bOOM

revenge. hunting down the people who hurt him

i already know this mfer does not wanna live but ive still gotta mention violently suicidal and self destructive. idk if ive asked but do we know why he has so many bandages?? constantly flipping between killing himself and fucking over life and living

very fast speeding connections in which he gets attached and gets hurt? when he does really connect to someone they mean a lot to him. keeps promises like hell and fuck. he has strong bpd vibes.

religious trauma?

sommmeeeeeetimes a little cuckoo crazy coco puffs. like really insane and violent and overall he turns into someone you dont want to be around. he can disconnect from everything around him easily so at that point, he doesnt care what happens

sexy

boogeying these tunes are so good and i feel like there should be a lot more pure screaming in this playlist like dazai probably listens to screams of anguish while falling asleep

very sneaky scary little man i think he would like guns and should not be trusted around weapons of any time. very smart also.

GET MENTAL HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

walks around in life just really angry and resentful towards everything idk why hes still alive but maybe spite or just pure hate towards everything he cant even bring himself to really die. feels very unloveable and alien (okay fine yes i did read no longer human by the real osamu dazai)

mfer is always wearing a damn mask to please people!!!!!! stop people pleasing!!!!! be normal!!!!! or actually dont i think neither would be very good

his trauma made him angry and mean and unpleasant to be around instead of soft and caring and strong and hes so so angry about that and like. idk what his trauma is but its giving Why Would You Do That To A Kid vibe

fucked up morality. good or bad? who knows!

suuuuuuiiiiiccccciiiidaaaaallll i see you im so tired and last words of a shooting star. feels like all would be best without him around but doesnt really wanna hurt the people he cares about too much (though he wont let himself admit this)

AUHGOAUHGOAUGHAOUGHAOGUHAOGUHUAHGIAUGOUAHGO

reading through this grinning and laughing like a madman YOU ARE SO RIGHT FOR THE MAJORITY OF THESE OPINIONS!!!! i am going to go through and give way too detailed responses to most of this bc i am very normal here we go

numb guilt is SO TRUE for him i don't have a better word to describe his views like there's this scene where he's talking to kyouka and she tells him she can't live anymore because she's killed 35 people and he looks so sad when he says "so what? what's a mere 35 people?" bc hes killed HUNDREDS and he doesn't even really feel bad for it while this girl is in despair from a (relative to him) small amount

no anger issues actually but you've made me REALLY want to see an angry dazai now so i'm gonna have to write that revenge fic 😭

it is not said why he has bandages but there are two major theories in the fandom, one is that he self harms and doesn't want other people to see and the other is that he's actually the Book which is hard to explain concisely but is a reality-altering book that everyone in the series is trying to find. whatever is written in it will become reality so it's a theory that all the writing is on his skin and he's just kinda hiding in plain sight! nobody knows for sure tho

HE DOES HAVE BPD VIBES

he totally does switch personalities in canon, like most of the time he's all cheerful and woo happy go lucky eyehey and then whenever he's facing off against the villains or doing something a lil morally wrong he just completely shuts off any kindness he might have mustered it's fun to see but also yeah. Scarey

he absolutely would just listen to straight up screaming you are so right

crying at sneaky scary little man that is the best description of him i have ever heard and i am going to steal it for dialogue in the fic i'm writing rn. he should NOT be trusted around weapons but for some reason he's like the only guy in the detective agency who has a gun

i think thr people pleasing is better than his true self lmao 😭 idk if he even has a true self at this point tho </3

i almost wish we knew what his trauma was in canon but i prefer it being a mystery bc 1) i quite honestly don't think they could write whatever it was without making it seem underwhelming for his character bc tragic anime backstories are So common and he's so much more fucked up than your average anime character and 2) people write the most horrific fics about their versions of his backstory and i love reading them sm. i want to read them forever

thank you for listening !!!! hope u enjoyed and i will get to peyton's playlist tomorrow if i have time :DD <333

[euphor1a]

heyyyy, ive been meaning to ask you this but idk why i didn't until now🙃, lol anw since you posted that anon hour thingie im just gonna ask: which kpop idol is *actually* your type?? fr who would you date irl👁️👄👁️

your stan list is hefty(lol i check your carrd randomly sometimes it's so pretty)so im v curious

Ahhhh interesting question 😳!! I have never really thought about it, but y’know, sometimes (more than sometimes tbh) I’m watching a video and someone does something and internally I’m just going “hmm I think I’d actually date this guy” or “damn I think I’m in love is he maybe looking for a wife or something” 🧍🏽‍♀️

Skshksjk anyway, I made a whole ass list. Because yes. You might find it suprising at some points but not really... idk 🤡

bts: hobi (... he’s so hubby material it huRTS 😭! have you ever noticed how fucking caring and understanding this man is? and the way he’s so passionate? he’s so attractive 😔 also his vibe is top tier I LOVE IT SM GAHHHH >.< it’s like an instant mood lifter) + jk (pretty sure no one is surprised that i’m picking him, but 🥺 he’s so boyfriend shaped 🥺, and god, i can’t explain in short but i adore everything about him to bits ☹️, you can go through my tag for him and see the embarrassing ass posts i make about him if you wanna know more. PLS DON’T ACTUALLY, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR)

txt: binnie (i’m aware that i rarely scream about him so let me just— OH MY GOD CHOI SOOBIN IS LITERALLY MY IDEAL TYPE 😭?? i love quiet and shy people who are actually unhinged once they get comfortable, because guess what i’m exactly the same 🤠! we can be introverted clowns together and i’d love him so bad 🤧! i’ll probably be whiny and pouty all the time and i just know that he’s the type of boyfriend who pouts back and then kisses you. KICKING MY FEET WHY DID I IMAGINE THAT FUCJNSSS)

svt: gyu (the male-wife agenda is real you guys 😔!!! he’s a soft giant™ type of guy :( also his vibe??? idk bro something about enfjs 🥲, i feel so drawn to whatever he does. and he’s really fucking tall and buff, which are such a BONUS, because for some reason i really like the thought of being carried around in the house, especially if i’m tired or sleepy. so yeah. would climb 10/10. cuddles for life. size kink go brrrr. big boobs so i can hide from all the scary things in his chest. also i love him so very much and it hurts. ok that is enough simping) + dino (ah... love me a guy who can make me laugh to the point i feel like i’m gonna die because i haven’t breathed in the past 40 seconds. another enfj too :') i just know i’d be the happiest girl on earth with him. he’s so attractive??? and his personality??? and when he laughs???? and he’s so honest about how he feels :( *falls in love and breaks a limb*) + cheol (look me in the eye and tell me that he isn’t TOP TIER HUSBAND MATERIAL. i. dare. you. if he cares about you, you’re gonna be his top priority and i stan that shit so hard. he actually makes me feel like a 14 y/o who has developed a crush on someone for the first time 😭)

enha: park jongseong (🛐🛐🛐 he regularly makes my expectations for a partner reach new heights and i’m not exactly a fan of it. LIKE??? DUDE DON’T DO THAT I’M GONNA DIE SINGLE🧍🏽‍♀️??? ugh god he’s so :((( totally the type to hug you from the back as a surprise and then kiss any bare skin he can find in your shoulder/neck area. also, the type to bury his nose there and inhale your scent because he associates you with home— NOW TELL ME WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF 😭😭😭😭)

&team: kei (the irl disney prince i deserve!!! 🥺 throughout &audition he tightened his grip around my heart so badly... i legit get heart flutters whenever he appears on screen. he’s so exceptionally thoughtful and caring 😭, and his energy is so intoxicating! i love it, it makes me smile all the time! can’t wait for his debut 🥺)

skz: chan (do i really need to explain?? this man makes me feel such a wide range of emotions. a big heart with a big... nose and so goddamn boyfriend??? i love him. and ngl, it feels like he walked straight out of a romance webtoon. chan is very supportive of everyone too, it’s kinda crazy? i adore him 😞)

atz: yunho (this guy... i’d commit arson for him. he’s my honeybun, sugarplum, cuppycake, gumdrop etc. etc. you get it 🥺🤧😭!! i love him so much fuck i know i’m repeating the same shit over and over for everyone but yunho is so precious oh my god 😭!! soft boyfie :(( my heart aches for him, and!! yes i do the cooking, yes i do the cleaning 🤠👏🏼 *is that enough for a ring?*)

— “ anon hour ☁️ ” + send me an ask!

[jupio]

tl;dr my uni house sucks absolute fucking ass and its been building but one things happened today and it has. tipped me over the edge. so its either write it out or scream

i just want. one fucking week in this house where noone does anything that makes me want to beat the shit out of them

we had a couple silverfish earlier this week so i put my houseplants on a window sill in the shared hall outside my room because of the damp. this was 4 days ago and i havent watered them since so they should be bone dry. 

last night i went to bed first but the other people who live here decided to stay up and get drunk

i got my plants back in today because there havent been anymore silverfish and went to water and prune them but when i leant in closer to the first one i noticed two things. 

1. the soil was soaked through and messy 2. it fucking stank of piss

so yknow i dont want to jump to conclusions but what other fucking conclusions are there here. someone in this god fucking awful house thought it would be funny to take one of my plants and piss in it for fucking what??? for the laughs???

theyve poured wine on my dishes, they broke my kitchen scales, theyve screamed and tried to break and kick in my door at 4 in the morning when high on ket, theyve made fun of me to my face, theyve made fun of my hobbies, they make snide comments where i can tell i’m being made fun of but i cant work out what i’ve said wrong, theyve slammed doors at every hour of the fucking night for weeks, they scream up and down the stairs at 3am, they call me boring, they call me stupid and autistic and unfunny and bitchy and nit-picky and overly sensitive and i am so fucking SICK of trying to live here

every day i am masking so hard that i’m even more irritable and i go to bed exhausted and full of anxiety because i know!! i know everytime i leave a room they all look at each other like oh thank god ollie’s gone we can finally be offensive and i’m not sleeping properly, and i’m always on edge in my own home. i cant relax here ever

and idk. someone else might take this less seriously and brush it off. but i cant and i’m tired of trying to explain to them that maybe its funny to prank each other but when you fuck with my stuff it’s not funny, it completely derails my expectations of things and especially with adhd my reactions to things can be out of proportion. so its not funny at all. im just so angry that im shaking and i want to beat the shit out of someone. so no, i dont take well to it, and im not gonna laugh and deal with it, im gonna cry, and react like a kid. and then noone is having any fun because everyone acts like its so awkward that im upset when really they could just be normal fucking decent people and leave me the hell alone.

and now i have to try and deal with this and i have no fucking clue how im even meant to approach it. “hi guys, just wondering who pissed in my beloved trailing ivy? it was £25 so would love some financial compensation and also for you to hold still so i can break your fucking nose!” 

i dont even know if i should just leave it because its just not worth it. i dont even care if im a pushover at this point i am so. tired. of trying to make them respect me as a person. thats what it feels like, it feels like they dont even see me as a person they just see me as a fucking circus freak.

the plants still in my room. i dont even know what to do with that. i dont want to touch it because just touching the pot made my hands smell. so just everytime i look up i get upset and scared and angry all over again because its right there. and im 90% sure i know who did it but if i confront him about it he’ll do that thing where people go cmon its just a joke why are you being so sensitive? jeez, lighten up its not a big deal and ill look stupid and sensitive and different like i always do

ive got 4 more months of living here and then i am fucking gone and i am never speaking to these people again. 

[noxiatoxia]

hi its me the dead anon and i would like to share that maybe 2 nights ago i was up rlly late. and i was figuring out what i was going to write back to ur last response to my other ask when i got really tired

in my strange sleep deprived state i was hit with 'inspiration' and opened google docs. within a matter of a couple hours, from 1-2 am, i wrote a pages long fic where kaoru kills himself and hikaru was so upset and made myself cry so hard i passed out.

when i woke up i looked at it and it really wasn't that good?? but at the same time it was and it made me cry again so. theres that. if you were wondering what ive been doing instead of responding

anyway very sorry about dying. ive really wanted to send u asks but ive been stressed out so im not great at coming up with hcs. very uninspired (besides my weird kaoru suicide fic but. yk)

maybe this says something about my current mental state. maybe not. idk

NOOOOOOOOO HAHSJSOKDFJ I SHOULDNT LAUGH BUT THE IDEA YOU WOKE UP FROM A HALF AWAKE DAZE AND WERE LIKE "FUCK I GOTTA WRITE KAORU KILLING HIMSELF" CRIED, THEN PASSED OUT IS SUCH A FUNNY MENTAL IMAGE.

But like I GET IT!!! same shit happens to me. I'm about to sleep but inspo STRIKES and I HAVE to get it on paper. It actually happened last night... Idk if I'll turn the idea into a full fic I'll post but it was a comedic concept nonetheless

The idea of one of the twins dying always kills me bc it's like... SO fucking sad.... the heartbreak is too much for me... i like happy endings... But like, I get it. Sometimes you just gotta write super depressing stuff. I have before.

The idea tho of one of the twins having a nightmare abt the other dying... Oughh. Like some super vivid nighmare that has one of them bolting up in bed panting on the verge of tears, immediately seeking the other twin and hurriedly waking them up to make sure they're still alive.

Like for example, maybe Hikaru waking up a month after Kaoru had his really bad depressive episode that scared the shit out of him. In his nightmare though...things don't have such a happy ending. And Kaoru does what he worried so much about every night in that dream, and he loses his little brother, and it feels so real.

Hikaru wakes up with a really startled jolt and is on the verge of a panic attack. His first immediate course of action is to turn around and nearly shake Kaoru off the bed, panickedly saying his name.

Kaoru of course wakes up sleepy and confused, barely awake as Hikaru begins to squeeze the air out of him with a bear hug. He's mumbling some things Kaoru can't piece together in his tired state, but Kaoru can tell he's really upset...so he just holds Hikaru and sleepily mumbles some reassuring things to him, and it does make Hikaru feel better, just to hear him alive and well...

Also since I'm a sucker for close physical affection between the twins I like to think Hikaru sometimes kisses Kaoru on the cheek. He did it more when they were younger, but he still does it I think under special occasions. I think this would be one of them... He was just so broken up in his dream and it scared him so so badly, so as Kaoru is stroking his hair lazily and sleepily murmuring reassurances to him, Hikaru sniffling as he's trying NOT to burst into tears, he kisses Kaoru on the cheek. Kaoru makes a small confused noise because he isn't expecting it, but he gives Hikaru a kiss back. He basically ends up passing out after that bc he's barely awake as is but Hikaru stays up long after that, holding Kaoru and just listening to his steady, deep breaths and resting heartbeat. Just taking in the fact his brother is still here and alive.

He eventually falls asleep once dawn begins to filter through the curtains.

Also it's okay for not sending asks!!! Life is tough and busy. Your health & happiness is far more important!!! I really love your hikakao and ouran asks in general they are my day's highlight. But I'm here if you just want to send general asks about whatever :) DMs are always open too!

[yk-im-no-good]

omfg

ok tbh my (1) follower DONT READ THIS ACTUALLY ILL END MY LIFE AND PUT YOU ON MY SUICIDE NOTE. im being emo under the keep reading

tbfh ive locked myself in my room since like 5/6 pm idfk. but it's cause I DONT KNOW i was and still am in such a poo mood. liek first my mom promised me yesterday she'd take me to the laundromat today so i can wash my plushies MIND YOU I WAS GONNA PAY FOR ALL OF IT (which isnt sm cuz it's just a bunch of fucking QUARTERS so i wasnt gonna b paying a shartload). and pos NEVERMIND cause she's too tired which is! ok well im not mad she's tired cuz ever since my brother and his kids moved in everythings been 100x stressful for everyone especially her. but idk. maybe it's on me for not seeing this soonerbut she acted like she had no idea wht i was talking abt like...ok...and then she was like "later" BUT LATER NEVER CAME. and then my niece broke my pride fan and idk i didn't get mad at her but i was upset asf cuz THAT SHIT MEANS A LOT TO ME ? like idk i got it at my first pride festival w diana and even if it's just cheap plastic it still holds sentimental value to me. so after tht i just went into my room n listen to sad music which made me even MORE SAD . so i started crying. and den i was like ok well fuck it tumblr theme customizing time. so i did tht and liek. throughout the entire time ive been in my room my niece has been banging on my door, my nephews kept trying to get their dog to fight manchiis thru the crack under my door until i yelled @ them to stop. and den my niece kept banging at my door and i ignored it bc liek. SHE ALWAYS DOES THT EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR EVERY LITTLE DAY. and most of the time ill go along w it cuz liek whatever dude. but i fr didn't wanna be bothered bc i was upset and didn't wanna lash out @ anyone . and then she stopped then liek. in the middle of tumblr customizing my brother knocked on my door and asked if i wanted to eat, i said no LOUDLY CUZ I KNOW IT"S HARD TO HEAR WITH MY MUSIC. and then he left me alone for five mins and then he knocked on my door again and was like vale i cant walk. but i didnt even process w he said cause i didn't even fucking hear him. so i was annoyed and walked out and i see him at the end of the hallway laughing and i go in the kitchen and everyones staring at me giggling. and he was like see she came ^___^ !! and my SIL was like omg she did hehehehe. and even my mom was there laughing. and i felt so fucking embarrassed idk like it felt like they were treating me like a kid. and my brother asked if i wanted to eat again and i was like NO . cause what the fuck is wrong with you like actually. dont fucking humiliate me like that bc if u fr cant walk im not gonna be there for u bitch !!!!! and then my niece started chasing me and trying to get into my room and i was just like . no. and then i started crying again but you know i kept at it for my tumblr theme idgaf. coding this custom cursor through the fucking tears idgaf !!!!!!!!!!! and then my mom called me out to the laundry space asking if i could help her move some stuff for a garage sale into her trunk. n i was liek ok. and then my brother comes and looks at me and asks my mom what she's doing. and then he pats my head and asks if i need help w something and i flinch away from him and say no. then he starts helping my mom with the stuff like picking up 3 of the big ass bags of stuff . and i go back in my room cuz i don't want to talk to him i dont even want to be fucking near him. and then i started crying in my room again. and tbh idk if it's bc im on my period or what. but liek im in such a bad fucking mood

[bubsub69]

Entry 2

14/05/2023 22:47

Well might as well start all entries with how my sleep schedule is, i had an afternoon nap so i might not sleep enough tonight but better than being up at 4am because i tried going to sleep at like 11pm and it went horribly wrong.

Reason for writing today? well while before looking at cute couple stuff like hugging and cuddling would make me cry now a porn video that wasnt even my first time watching made me cry because the couple seemed really happy and having a good time even though the girl was probably laughing cause she ruined the dudes orgasm on his face (video: https://www.redgifs.com/watch/quaintelderlyvireo#rel=tag%3Aruined-orgasm%2Cchastity%2Ca;order=trending)

I guess i should start with yesterday, with the blessing of the folders/briefcases whatever, it was as bad as expected so at least not worse than expectations, a very late start as a lot of people expected followed by a walk a queue to sit down, a small sermon and then speeches from each course. The worst part honestly might have just been the sun, it was blazing hot and i think i got sick from it, my nose was extremely fucked last night and still kinda is. After that we went to have lunch at a crisp 3pm and the food arrived at like 4, thank god my body has a high hunger resistance or i mightve killed someone, i spent a lot of time at the restaurant but at least i got to be with my cousin so it was actually pleasant, at the end we went to the lake garden to take some pictures for some reason and then went home (the for some reason comes from the fact we already had like 40 photos on the camera alone and went to take more).

idk why i wanted to write down what happened yesterday this was supposed to be more about emotions than story but oh well who can stop an autist from rambling.

But going to aforementioned (wow that was the word whos spelling i really had to look up, why am i spellchecking a personal diary? cause fuck you i want to, anyway another autistic rambling aside) emotions, those ribbons made me feel kinda weird when i reread them cause everyone was saying congrats on the hard work and for beating this challenge but i feel like its undeserved cause its not like i put a huge amount of effort studying, i barely passed some stuff which is definetly something im not proud of but yeah i feel like i slacked off most of the year even though ive never missed classes or failed to deliver a project, i guess im just associated with the studying part of school instead of this which is better honestly, even if i get stressed like now where i have a shit ton of stuff to do and am over procastinating as usual, but yeah, a lot of good jobs for a meh performance feels kinda weird.

But enough about school heres an update on D, today is sunday which matches the same day as the day of the call so how was her availability? well she gave me a maybe and then said that apparently her visa is expiring and shes super stressed out, well that seems like something way too complex for an excuse/lie so i believe her more but yeah her moving again is definetely going to make her busy again so i guess no calls for me.

Really feeling like a piece of shit that thats all the care i can muster for it, shes like about to get formally deported and im out here complaining shes too busy for me, and the worst is i decided to get a keyholder on chaster just to satisfy me, it feels like cheating i dont know why, we had some mild texting and a call and ive already like fallen in love and feel like a traitor, but i guess im tired of waiting and it might be for the best to move on if she just wants to stay an acquaintance (well new record for biggest spelling blunder), but yeah i feel like im giving up too soon cause i really liked her and just moving on feels really bad but what can i do when she doesnt show any interest, i mean not only does she not text back she also hasnt asked anything about me, which i guess is kinda fair for most boring person in the world whos hobbies are gaming and youtube, yippy, i guess ill wait again, this time im gonna do a week of no texting to see if she ever sends me something, she will be busy with the moving so she probably wont but oh well whatcha gonna do, not like shed say yes to a call in these circumstances either, i still wish i could help her but i dont think i can just ask dad if he has a contact with the visa man to hurry her process, but i did imagine that cenario

I guess switching to a different type of emotion to put some variety in this yesterday i fucked up the gamepads usb port out of anger but i think i tricked my parents by saying i saved the computer from falling, and on other hardware problem news theres a screw that i think broke the plastic around it so know the case keeps disconnecting from the rest. This was a shitty story but at least its not all about being sad and lonely

Well a bit of a blunder of an ending but oh well heres entry two, if the lady i messaged to be my keyholder replies the update will be here:

[musselini]

its so hard to live when someone you love leaves you but isn’t quite gone

they’re friends with your other friends but not with you

they’re family to your family but not to you

idk im feeling sappy on this Monday night.

I guess im just tired of feeling used. what did I do wrong in my life that I got thrown out like a toy. how can I be better. I dont know how long I can bare asking that if someone’s definition of better is different than mine. I dont want to be passive and non aggressive. agreeing with everything anyone says and only arguing in a way that benefits them. I want to be me I want to have my own opinions and thoughts and not feel so wrong about that. I think my brother really scarred me. maybe I knew that. maybe I saw that coming. I knew leaving my dad would be fucked but I didn’t think my brother leaving me would be so. detrimental. I don’t know if i’ll ever have the right relationship with men. if i’ll always need some validation from them. some sign that what I am is Right. it breaks my heart to see myself like this. to feel anger when I look at pictures of my own nephew. and yet why shouldn’t I? when You Shut Me Out. when You Left Me. you grew up and left me in the dust and then laugh when you turned back and I was still standing. angry that I didn’t choke on your dust. but I never will. I won’t. I don’t think that I am capable. not now. not after what i’ve been through. if i decided to not give up. that was not a easy decision to make. what I didn’t realize is that meant facing the people who gave up on me. and its not like my dad didn’t fight for me, but he lost me as soon as he punished me for being myself. He made me hate myself. and for what? existing? I have tried so fucking hard to scrape by, knowing full well I am capable of so much more, all because I felt I didn’t deserve a life of good. I failed college. I failed high school. I hurt people so they would hurt me back. I fell in love with lying and hiding and dancing and singing and the stage. I chose to push myself in a direction I knew would get me hurt all because I thought thats what I deserved. because that is what You Told Me I deserved. I was a child. a fucking child. and you chose that time with me to tear me down. why? were you scared? did you see my potential? when Kronos ate his sons did he know it would fail him in the end? did icarus love the sun because he knew the power to fly was too strong? why are you my father if you are not my friend. why are you my brother if you aren’t my family. why are you my lover if you aren’t my fan. I am a person. I am a human. I have worth. I love myself. I do. and I deserve more than this. and much much more than you. so thank you. thank you for being bullshit. thank you for moving on after hurting me and letting me run rampant. while you grew and flourished and lived without me I failed and I hurt and I cried. and in the end I will learn more from it. you fail and blame others rather than look towards yourself. I looked towards myself before I even took the wrong step and yet you judge me? I am a free women. I am loved. I am strong. I am powerful I am beautiful I am smart. I am better than you and it is not hatred in my heart. at least. I try for it not to be. but it is anger and anger is fuel and i’ve been fire long enough that i’ve figured out how not to burn out. all I have to do is feed. and you’re starting to look suspiciously like oxygen to me.

[wh6res]

127 SQUAD AND ROMANTIC BF TINGS

tw a lil bit of suggestive on jae's but nothing explicit

✰ — TAEIL would sing lullabies over the phone or video call. you and him would just be doing your own thing, not talking but enjoying being each other's presence. he'll probably pull out his guitar and start singing random songs until he eventually notices you fell asleep on him. will not end the call and when you wake up in the morning, his snores and his cute sleeping face is the first thing you see. "love? you still there? ... taeil?" then laugh out loud when you hear his snores instead. "okay yeah lets sleep more" the call will only end probably because his phone died. he kinda strikes me as a guy who's phone is always < 50% battery lmao

✰ — JOHNNY is your everything. literally. as long as he has the power of youtube, google, and instruction manuals on his side, he can fix anything and everything for you. we've all seen him do crafty things on jcc lmao so it'll probably apply to relationships as well. will 100% say you now owe him cuddles for fixing something for you. you kinda dont like the fact that he's doing all these things for you so you try doing them on your own without him knowing only to fail big time. "what did we learn today?" "never touch the pipes under the sink" "and?" "and always ask johnny for help" "nuh-uh thats not how i said it" you sigh exasperatedly "always let my smokin hot amazing handsome boyfriend johnny suh get the job done"

✰ — TAEYONG doesn't care whether you take the time shopping or not. in fact, he loves seeing you all excited and giddy for pampering yourself as you should. totally the type to hold the paper bags even if you complain and say you can manage on your own. is a complete angel and will wait patiently outside changing rooms and will give you genuine insight he has of the clothes you picked. "that looks nice. you should get that. the length is just right and the sleeves help accentuate your waist" "really yongie?" "yes love. i mean you look pretty in everything anyway" miss ma'am my heart just fucking melted ?¿?

✰ — YUTA doesn't look like it but will exert real effort into things. would be the type to have a note or a google doc about your favorite orders from restaurants because he just loves how your eyes light up appreciatively and you look so smitten by him. its like a cheat sheet. eventually he memorizes the list with how much time he spends with you and he wont even need it. the type to always bring you food before meeting you (if its just hanging out inside the house). "no way! i was just craving for these!" he smiles before kissing your forehead, volunteering to put the food out its container for you. "i figured. you'd been working since this afternoon. lets eat first then you can tell me about what you've been working on so i can help you, okay?"

✰ — DOYOUNG loves cooking for you. i highkey feel like its his love language? like cooking for you and seeing your eyes light up as it darts back to him after you take your first bite from whatever he cooked just gives him so much happiness. its disgustingly sappy and he doesn't like talking about it. now he understood fully what it meant to see your loved ones eating and being full yourself or some shit. idk how the actual quote goes okay dont come 4 me but u probably get it. anyway the type to always pack you lunch and will get hella mad if you skip meals. "what do you mean you havent eaten yet?" "yeah but i will after i--" "you mean you're going to eat Now?" "what? no maybe later--" "thats it im coming over"

✰ — JAEHYUN would be the type to make you playlists. its really random sometimes he'll send them to you in the early morning for the heck of it bc he cant sleep. most of the time its him being horny lmao the frat boy in him awakening and sending you a playlist called imma blow your back out or something extremely cringey and thirsty pls dont block his sorry ass maybe he'd spell out the words using song titles too! idk jae just rlly strikes me as a guy who's love language is music. "hey babe did you check the playlist i sent you?" "wtf its 4am???" "oh so you havent listened to it yet?" "fuck off" but at the end of the day he'll come over and will use the playlist to,,, you know,,, do the sexy thing ;)

✰ — JUNGWOO always makes sure you walk on the inside of the road. you know when you're walking in the street and he softly nudges your waist? yes. will probably even scold you playfully because with how long its been since you both are together, "babe you always walk on the inside of the road how many times do i have to tell you?" is also the type to remind you to wear your seatbelt immediately after hopping onto his car. would ask you Again while in the middle of the car ride because he forgot that he already asked you earlier. please don't mind him he's just looking out for you bb. "seatbelt?" "yes, babe. already done" "are you sure? i dont think i heard it click--" "babe eyes on the road please" "oh right sorry"

✰ — MARK sends you tiktoks, vines, or memes. this is his love language fite me im calling it. he just wants to see you laugh too okay? thats why he does it. i mean it made him laugh, so maybe it will you laugh too. also because he hopes to make inside jokes with u cuz he believes thats how people really get close and stuff. would definitely love it if you do the same thing with him. you'd be chilling in the sofa while khalid plays on the bluetooth speaker and he'll suddenly go "babe babe babe check this out!" then you both proceed to laugh at a vine for the next thirty minutes <3 #living.the.yn.life

✰ — HAECHAN will do your skincare for you when you're drunk or super tired that you just passed out cold on the bed. would probably come into the room to see you snoring and tutting bc now he has to do it for you again but meh deep down he loves it because he enjoys admiring your sleeping face. its sorta like a healing thing for him? yeah it just washes away all the stress he's feeling and bb is just excited about the idea that this becomes "your thing" with him if u get what im saying? altho the next day he'll probably use it as a leverage to get out of chores :) "no way im not folding our clothes" "and why is that?" "i took your make up off yesterday u know how hard that is? im still tired" "but its literally the next day--" "awww thank you for doing my chores, baby! u the best!" ._.

[sailorhyunjinz]

SAW THAT DRUNK FLUFFY HEADCANNON. NOW DO A ANGST SMUT VERSION OF IT OR WHATEVER SIS. LEZ GET ETTTT SKRRTSKRTTTTT

Please. 🥺

LEZ GET IIIIIIIIIIT SKRTSKRT (I CANT)

some of these are both smut/angst and others only smut or only angst OK? ok

SMUT AND ANGST VERSION WOOP now we’re talking bby

warning; SMUT/ANGST. gn!reader x skz. subxdom, use of alcohol, sex under influence, minor injuries, penetrative sex, degradation, punishment, nicknames, choking, mentions of blood, slight dacryphilia, mentions of tobacco

Bangchan

he’s more pouty but seeing you with scraped knees makes him mad

mad because he cares so much about you 

“y/n you’re being stupid”

you fall into his arms, just as mad back at it

“if im so stupid then leave” 

he looks at you, dumbfounded but then mad

“fine, then i’ll leave” he says, clearly hurt by your words but holding tightly to his pride, storming off.

as the door closes you panic, feeling lonely and paranoid at the same time

you never really being good with alcohol anyways

so him leaving you in this vulnerable state made you feel,,, bad :((

you run after him and eventually catch up 

right as you get to him you stumble, scraping your knee and your hand

he turned around quickly, filled with worry but also pure rage

“you’re so stupid y/n” he says leaning down and looking you into your glossy eyes

“h-help me channie” you say, your voice frail

he sighes, picking you up and the two of you going back home

Minho

be scared be real fucking scared

you aint walking for a week nuh uh

fucks you DEEP 

deeper than ever

boy is mad as fuck, he just lashes out on you for being so stupid as to walk home alone in the middle of the night. 

he complains and scolds you whilst he’s railing you oop

“fucking stupid, walking like that all alone”

you are practically crying underneath him, not sure if it’s from him scolding you or from how DEEP this man goes 

pounding some sense into you LMAO

lots of choking OOF

denying your orgasm until you’re crying

“yeah thats right, cry for me” (lmao cue twice)

NAH BUT A SWEETHEART AFTERWARDS I PROMISE 

Changbin

“what if you get injured y/n?” he says, holding your hand on your way home

“i didn’t!” you say confidently 

“then whats that?” he says, pointing at your bleeding knees

“n-nothing” you say, limping forward

“should listen to me more” he says quickly, puffing his cheeks in frustration

“i do listen, just,,, just let me have f-fun!” your head spinning. 

“but thats not having fun y/n, thats called being stupid and destroying your health” he spits on the ground

“alright then let me, not like it’s affecting you in any way” you slur out, changbin looking at you through hooded eyes as he exhales loudly

“maybe if you’d stop being drunk all the time you’d actually see how it is effecting me” he says, letting go of your hand causing you to stumble over your own legs

you hit the cold concrete in the dark as he walks home

“come back when you’ve thought about your actions”

Hyunjin

he paces back and forward in the hallway, waiting for you

the door creaks open and you, looking like a mess, appear infront of him

“where were you? i was worried sick y/n! you cant just do-”

“shush,,, i want a,, a hug” you stammer out, getting closer to him and smelling of cigarettes and alcohol

he pushes you away, glaring at you through dark eyes

“do you even care about me?” 

you tilt your head, feeling more unstable for every second that goes by. 

“of course hyunnie!” you smile lazily at him 

but he’s not buying any of it

i feel like he holds grudges for a long time??? idk just me??

“i’ll sleep on the couch, dont come close to me”

bruh his voice and tone is so cold, it send shivers down your spine

you nod, tears bubbling up in the corners of your eyes. 

Jisung

“im not helping you!” jisung says, you rubbing your thighs together, always feeling needy when drunk

“pl-please sungie, i-i wont drink ever again i-if you help,,, me”

he cocks his eyebrow at you, licking the inside of his cheek

“mhm.. you think im stupid enough to fall for that? what do you really think of me babygirl/babyboy”

you scratch the back of your head, not knowing what to answer

“y-you fell for it last time~”

he scoffs, pissed at the fact that you came stumbling through the door in the middle of the night

him waiting for you and being filled sick with worry

he leans closer to your ear, feeling the smell of liquor 

“why should i help you? sluts like you dont deserve me”

you whine at his words, not helping with your neediness

“please,, jisung i,, just help me!” you were started to get pouty to which he chuckles

“beg nicely”

Felix

“where were you”

his voice is like LOW low

he sits with his legs spread apart

bruh his gaze?!??”! its like black, just blank

you try to ignore him, shuffling around awkwardly but only stumbling from being drunk

“sit” he pats his lap you gulp, having no other choice but to listen

you sit down on his lap

your eyes are running all over the room, looking everywhere but at felix

“was my slut out drinking?” 

BRUH YOU JUST STARE AT HIM

he only says that when he’s mad, ONLY

so now you’re scared but you nod, barely having your eyes open

he hums, his voice vibrating through your ears

“you agree, you’re a slut?”

you nod again and before you know it theres a hand wrapped around your throat, pushing on the sides and making you feel even more lightheaded. 

his mouth gets close to your ear

his warm breath desending down your cheek

“dont make me do this kitten”

Seungmin

frustrated 

he gets a call from one of your friends that tell you that you’re passed out on the street

he picks you up, you barely standing on your own two legs and the entire way home he didnt say a word

as soon as the door to your home closes he starts yelling at you

“dont you have any thoughts in that dumb head of yours?”

you start tearing up from his loud and stern voice, leaning against a wall. 

“i-im sorry minnie” 

that being the only sentence he understood, the rest sounding more like blabbering

“are you really sorry y/n, are you??!”

“y-yes,,, just tired~”

without saying anything more he grabs his jacket and leaves

slamming the door behind him

at first you dont understand but then the silence takes over, leaving you wrapped with a lonely blanket as tranquility

“m-minnie?” you call out as if he was still there but being met by nothing but pure silence

you slide down against the wall, crying as seungmin peeks through the door, feeling bad for making you cry 

Jeongin

“enough”

he grabs the bottle from your hand, placing it beside him as the two of you were drinking at home. 

“but whyyy?~ we were just getting started innie~”

he looks at you with a puzzled expression

your cheeks flaming hot and your eyes drooping down

“cant you just stop y/n?”

you meet his brown eyes, not understanding what he meant

“hm? whatchu mean~?

he sighs loudly, seeing you roll around on the floor

“why can’t you just control yourself? why do i always have to take care of you?”

you laugh, your thoughts gone with the wind

“thats funny innie!”

poor boy gets frustrated and lays down, hovering above you

“is it funny if i do this?”

he kisses you, slowly trailing his fingertips downwards

OK I HAVE ONE REQUEST LEFT IN MY INBOX SO GOTTA DO THAT!! and after that im gonna start posting/working more on fics even though... i feel shit about writing fics because they never turn out that good huh.... AH WELL at least im trying T-T 

hard/soft thoughts are always welcome ><

[hxneekyuu]

falling in love || a playlist

>> because falling and realizing he’s fallen are two very different things.

genres : haikyuu x f!reader, fluff, angst, slightly suggestive

a/n : i got this idea after seeing the n/sfw version called “songs they would fuck you to” or something??? i literally cant find the post anymore so pls someone tag me or send me an ask if you know what im talking about so i can give that writer credit for their post -- just wanted to do a kind of slice of life version of that idea!! idk why but this really took me 2 weeks to finish for absolutely no reason, so i hope you like it!!

daichi -- you got something x rochelle

you got a something, making me weak // you got a something, i’m on my knees

“what are the odds daichi’s girlfriend is completely made up, and he just doesn’t want to tell us?” asahi laughs at suga’s comment, but daichi only picks up a handful of sand and chucks it at them, a scowl set deep on his features. he had told you a few days ago that he and the guys were going to be spending their saturday at the beach, the first nice day in a while -- he had been trying to tell you that he wanted you to finally meet his friends, and you had seemed really excited at the prospect. but you’re late, and while daichi knows his friends are just teasing, he can’t help but feel anxious.

“are you sure she’s coming?” asahi doesn’t mean it as a quip -- he genuinely is asking because he can tell this is important. but daichi isn’t listening. he’s staring down the stretch of beach at the person that’s stumbling in the sand, trying to cross the distance to him almost frantically. you look stressed, and he knows you’re probably freaking out about how late you are, but when you look up and finally make eye contact, the smile you give him is so bright and genuine that he feels like he’s the only one there.

“i’m sure.”

suga -- freakin’ out on the interstate x briston maroney

you got a lot on your mind // and your heart, it looks just like mine

he’s not sure when he falls asleep, but when he comes to, he knows the ink from his homework has probably copy-pasted itself onto his right cheek. it’s been week after week of deadlines and assignments, the stress of third year finally catching up to him. an unplanned nap was bound to happen at some point with the way he was staying up later and later each night, barely getting 4 hours if he was lucky. he’s ready to lift his head and get back to work, but when he opens his eyes, all he sees is you. you’re sitting next to him, headphones in as you work on your own assignments, completely unaware that he’s awake. as he studies you closely, feeling calm for the first time in weeks, he decides that maybe another few minutes won’t kill him.

asahi -- apocalypse x cigarettes after sex

when you’re all alone, i will reach for you // when you’re feeling low, i will be there too

he’d had a hard practice -- he’d messed up so many serves and missed enough spikes to make him feel like going home and forgetting this whole day had happened. he can’t meet anyone’s eyes because he knows they know how he’s feeling, and that’s just embarrassing. he even waits until everyone’s left the club room for the night, having told daichi and suga to go ahead of him, that he’d walk home alone. sitting in the club room all alone, he can’t help but sigh in frustration.

finally pulling himself to his feet, he grabs his bag and heads for the door, locking it behind him once he’s outside. turning toward the door, he almost yells when he sees you standing there, staring down at your shoes as you wait. when you had become karasuno’s manager, you’d made a point to tell them that they could rely on you for anything, but he really hadn’t thought you’d meant this. looking up and meeting his eyes with a smile, you gesture toward the stairs and don’t say a word about practice. he won’t realize for a long time just how much he appreciates you in this moment.

“come on, slowpoke, i’ve been waiting to walk home with you.”

kageyama -- the less i know the better x tame impala

then i heard they slept together // oh, the less i know the better

“you need to tell her before i tell her for you.” it’s an empty threat, but he aims a punch at the side of hinata’s head for good measure. they’re standing at the door to his classroom, pretending to be busy talking about something so he can have an excuse to look at you. you’re standing in the hall not too far away, laughing about something with your friends, and it takes all of his self-restraint not to confess right then and there. you don’t even know who he is, and he’s just about ready to risk public humiliation for you. he doesn’t know what’s happened to him in the weeks since he’d first laid eyes on you, but he’s not sure how much longer he can deal with this torture. 

“dude, she is right there. seriously, you need to just tell her. so what if she says no and you’re embarrassed for a few days? at least you’ll be getting it over with. there’s nothing that could be worse than that -- oh.” almost as if the universe is playing some kind of cruel game, both kageyama and hinata watch as the door to the next classroom slides open, making way for a certain 6’2” blond middle blocker to step into the hall and call out to you. when you smile and wrap your arms around his waist, silently asking him to bend down so you can plant a small kiss on his cheek, kageyama grits his teeth and looks away, locking eyes with a flustered hinata.

“that. that’s worse.”

hinata -- i’m so tired… x lauv, troye sivan

hurts like heaven, lost in the sound // Buzzcut Season, like you’re still around // can’t unmiss you, but i need you now

he can feel you next to him, curled up into his chest, your breathing even. he can feel your loving gaze on the side of his face as he helps you cook dinner and even more so when you two are on the couch watching netflix -- you’d always had a habit of watching him more than the show. he can feel your skin on his in the shower as you drag your nails through his hair, scrubbing the shampoo through his locks and laughing when he starts to splutter under the rush of hot water. he can feel your lips on his, your embrace warm and safe after a bad day. he can feel it all like it’s still happening.

but when he opens his eyes, nothing is there to greet him but the empty spot in his bed to match the equally empty apartment. you’re still abroad, just as you have been for months now. and no matter how many good morning texts and late night facetime calls he has to look forward to, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still not here with him. you’re still gone. and he’s starting to realize he can’t feel much of anything anymore.

nishinoya -- ego x milky chance

and i guess that she’s the strongest // that i’ve ever seen yet, ever seen yet

“come quick, yuu! there’s a girl outside standing up to those bullies in the year above us!” nishinoya rushes to the window, taking his place among his classmates as they all watch you, standing your ground out in front of the school. you’re hovering over a boy who’s been pushed to the ground, his hand and knee already bleeding lightly. your arms are crossed, eyes squinted in determination as you stare down two boys that are older and much bigger than you. he finds his chest tightening with worry -- how can a ten-year-old girl take down two bullies? why isn’t anyone helping? shouldn’t someone get a teach--

“well come on, then, you jerks! i thought you guys were supposed to be scary, but you look like a couple of wimps to me, picking on someone smaller than you!” his classmates start snickering, the bullies noticing that they’ve got an audience, but nishinoya’s breath has caught in his throat, and all he can see is you and that look in your eye -- he needs to know you.

tanaka -- perfect places x lorde

all the nights spent off our faces // trying to find these perfect places // what the fuck are perfect places anyway?

he pushes the nameless girl up against the wall, lips finding hers in a rush of alcohol and adrenaline. he doesn’t care about her, and he knows damn well that she doesn’t care about him either. you don’t go to a frat party looking for love. that’s why, when he pulls away and opens his eyes to look at her, the guilt he feels isn’t for her or that fact that she’d likely be going home alone tonight. it’s for you, completely unaware of his feelings or his fantasies. because it’s not her face staring back at him. it’s yours.

ennoshita -- cigarette daydreams x cage the elephant

so sweet, with a mean streak // nearly brought me to my knees

“dude, seriously! we’ve come to this coffee shop every day for like the last two weeks -- the chocolate croissants cannot be that good!” he shushes tanaka angrily, shoving him through the door and to the far end of the room, forcing him into the booth by the window and dropping his bag on the other side. he tells himself, and anyone that asks to be honest, that he needs to focus because finals are coming up. he tells himself that the ambiance at this cafe is calming, that he can always get work done here without a problem. he tells himself this as if he doesn’t have a mountain of work that most definitely has not been getting done in the last two weeks, the deadlines piling up to the point where he’s sure he’s going to be suffering very soon. but none of that matters -- ‘none of it matters’, he tells himself as he approaches the counter, meeting your playful eyes with a nervous smile.

“ennoshita-san, you’re back! should i get you the usual?”

tsukishima -- know your worth x khalid, disclosure

find someone you know will put you first // find someone who loves you at your worst

he’s at your door not even ten minutes after you’d texted him. it had been easy enough to get past the security guard in front of your dorm -- he’s spent more nights here than at his own dorm, which he’s sure his party animal roommate is thankful for. but tonight, tsukishima’s not here to avoid a 2am rager, the “he left me for her” text settling like poison in his veins the longer he thinks about it. he’s angry -- beyond angry -- but he knows to store it away for later. later, he can find that piece of shit and release the worst of tsukishima kei’s sharp tongue. right now, he can hear you crying on the other side of the wall, and it’s all he can do not to bust the door down. 

as he’s bringing his hand up to knock, the tissue box and pack of oreos shifting in the bag around his wrist, the door swings open, revealing your roommate. she barely spares him a glance as she shuffles past him into the hall, patting his shoulder as she goes.

“she’s all yours, tsukki.”

yamaguchi -- are you bored yet x wallows (feat. clairo)

’cause we could stay at home and watch the sunset // but i can’t help from asking “are you bored yet?”

it’s just past 5pm, the soft glow of the afternoon really tempting his inner desire to take a nap, but there’s something eating away at him. when he looks down at you, head in his lap as you read a manga, the part of his heart that used to be filled with nothing but love feels now like it’s being drowned in doubt. is he still enough for you? are you getting tired of having him in your life? should he change to match your idea of the perfect boyfriend? 

“hey.” he’s snapped out of his thoughts, eyes focusing in on your face and realizing that you’re peeking over the top of your manga to look at him. he tilts his head to one side, the ghost of a smile forming on his face when you mimic his movement playfully. you pull down the manga just a little bit more, revealing the rest of your face, and reach for the hand he has tangled in your hair. bringing it down to your lips, and that ghost of a smile becomes a full, genuine one when you whisper a kiss into his knuckles.

“i love you.”

kuroo -- one dance x drake 

strength and guidance // all that i’m wishing for my friends

you’re throwing back another shot, setting the glass down on his coffee table when you’re done. he knows you’ve had a bad week at work, if the “i’m coming over, let’s drink” text had been anything to go by. this is the way you two had bonded in college, meeting up whenever one of you was having a bad time and drinking until your livers would cry. of course, you would follow it up with healthier coping mechanisms the next day, often spending all day together talking things through properly and eating greasy food for the hangovers.

it had been years since you’d started this little tradition, but as you turn up the volume on his speaker and sway to the music by yourself in the middle of his living room, he starts to imagine that maybe this could turn into something more.

kenma -- sunflower x post malone, swae lee

you’re the sunflower // i think your love would be too much

he’s not sure how he’d actually managed to convince you to pretend to be with him. it hadn’t even taken that long -- he’d barely let out that he was starting to feel overwhelmed with the amount of viewers that would hit on him during his streams when you were agreeing to his idea. as he sits in front of his computer, explaining in a low voice that the roommate he’d talked about before was actually his girlfriend, he wonders how the hell you could possibly be okay with this. but more than that, when you “interrupt” and walk into the room with a glass of water for him as an excuse to place your lips gingerly on his, the chat going absolutely crazy at the display, he wonders why it can’t be real.

lev -- death is in the air x sakima

is my heart breaking // or do i have one at all

he’s sitting across from you in a diner that’s otherwise empty, watching you stir the coffee in front of you. he knows you will never bring the cup to your lips in the span of this conversation -- it’s just a nervous habit, a need to keep your hands busy while you talk. he can hear your words, but they sound muffled, as if he’s underwater. this entire moment feels like it’s happening to someone else, but when he pinches the inside of his thigh, you’re still there, telling him what he never thought he’d hear. that things aren’t working out between you -- that you’re tired of him being a player and coming close enough to cheating that it almost hurts more than if he would just do it already. he hears all the ways he’s been the kind of person he’d always hated, but he doesn’t say a word. he hasn’t said a word since he sat down, not even five minutes prior. is five minutes really all you need to end things?

he doesn’t move, not even when he hears the bell above the door ring, your footsteps fading as the door closes behind you.

yaku -- sucker x jonas brothers

i’m a sucker for all the subliminal things // no one knows about you (about you), about you (about you)

it’s 3:37am on a tuesday night -- or is it wednesday? -- and he should be in bed or at least in the comfort of his own home. but he’s not. he’s not home, and he knows he’s really pushing his luck because his father wakes up for work every day at 4am, but he just can’t bring himself to be responsible. he knows he’s going to be so screwed when his 6:30 alarm goes off, but at this rate he thinks he might be watching the sun rise with you. you’re in the exact same situation, so who is he to cut the night short if you haven’t yet? even if you do look as exhausted as he feels, there’s a happiness on your face that he feels partially responsible for, and he’s not ready to give that up yet. 

so he lets himself be dragged around the empty streets of tokyo, feeling like nothing else matters but this moment with you, at 3:37am on a tuesday night.

oikawa -- pristine x mantaraybryn

and that all this time i was trying to be // james dean, pristine, suntanned, underwater // living an american dream

glass shatters against the far wall, and he’s not quite sure when he’d picked up the bowl from the coffee table. he’s alone in the main room of the apartment, almost vibrating with rage. there are tears falling from his eyes, but he’s not sure when that happened either. all he can think about is the humiliation he’d felt, the bitter pain that had filled him when his father had expressed his disappointment at the way his son’s life had turned out.

“... should have stayed in Japan… real job....” oikawa stares at the shelf above the TV, lined with every award he’d spent his entire life earning. before he can think properly about it, he’s across the room, swinging his arm toward the shelf, ready to destroy everything he’d ever worked for --

“tooru?” spinning around to face you, panic fills his teary eyes as he realizes he really wasn’t alone in the apartment this whole time. you’d been there, probably just doing work in your own room with your headphones in. the sound of the bowl breaking against the wall had probably caught your attention, and now he feels bad for ruining the space you two share. but you’re not looking at the mess. you’re only looking at him, concern lacing your eyes, and for the first time in a long time, he feels safe.

iwaizumi -- eastside x benny blanco (with halsey & khalid)

we can do anything if we put our minds to it // take your whole life, then you put a line through it

“what are you doing here?” he says it without looking back, having heard you scaling the side of his house as soon as you’d gotten there. when you settle down next to him, legs hanging off the roof, he reaches over and takes your hand in his, a sense of calm falling over him for the first time all day. he feels you scoot closer, leaning your head on his shoulder as he wraps an arm around you and presses a kiss to your temple. you two sit on top of his house like this, staring out at the city together just as you’d been doing since you were kids and needed to escape, even if just for a few minutes.

“your mom called me -- said she hadn’t seen you in hours. i told her i’d take care of it.” he smiles to himself. he should have known you’d find him. you always do.

matsukawa -- you get me so high x the neighbourhood

we should stick together // you’re my best friend, i’ll love you forever

he can see you across the party, looking annoyed and a little impatient as a guy steps into your path, trying to chat you up. whatever’s on your mind has you peering around the frat boy, and you wave him off without a second glance as you search for something -- or someone. he’s persistent, though, and matsukawa has half a mind to save you, knowing that having a best friend with a frame as large as his has gotten you out of trouble with guys before. but before he can pass his drink off to makki, your eyes are locking onto his own, and it feels like the world has stopped. you’ve never smiled at him like that before.

hanamaki -- on melancholy hill x gorillaz

’cause you are my medicine // when you’re close to me

“you know, hanamaki, you visit my office hours every week, but it never really feels like you need help.” he pulls his eyes away from the whiteboard littered with your handwriting, meeting your eyes just long enough to feel exposed. you’re giving him a sweet smile, but the look in your eye is anything but innocent. you see right through him, he knows that much, but he’s never going to admit that he knowingly ditches party plans with his roommates every friday just so he can see you for an hour. he’d never tell you that -- just like he’d never tell you that he knows you’re pretending to be worried about his progress just like he is, that he knows you can see how good his are grades, too. instead of mentioning any of that, he shoots you a quick smirk, cocking his head to the side in mock-confusion.

“i’m not sure i know what you’re getting at, y/n.”

kyoutani -- chill x rayana jay

baby, can i be real? can i be real with you? // it means the world to me, i just wanna chill with you

rounding the corner of the aisle, he doesn’t even realize he’s bumped into someone until there are groceries rolling around at his feet and you’re apologizing softly. the glare that settles on his face is one of pure habit, an expression that had become his only one over the course of his life. he’s guarded by nature, and he knows it pushes people away, but that’s how he prefers things. so when you glance up from where you’re crouched, putting your items back into your basket, he’s shocked that you aren’t matching his glare or even that you don’t seem the slightest bit intimidated. you’re just asking him to hand you something by his feet.

realizing that you’ve dropped quite a bit of stuff because of him, he bends down, grabbing items before they roll away and handing them to you without a word. he then realizes that he’s made you spill your drink on your shirt, something you only notice when you catch him staring at the stain. when he sees the smirk on your face, his guarded glare makes a comeback, but you still don’t seem to notice it.

“are you going to tell me your name, or are you just going to keep staring at my chest?” well this is certainly new.

kunimi -- sweater weather x the neighbourhood

just us, you find out // nothing that i wouldn’t want to tell you about

“so you met this girl on twitter? what if she’s like some 40 year old dude?” he rolls his eyes at kindaichi’s comment, pulling up your account and showing him the selfies you’d posted not too long ago. his best friend nods appreciatively before shrugging. “i don’t know, man, those could be fake.” understanding kindaichi’s concern but unable to stop the annoyance that flares up in him, he shoves his phone back into his pocket and starts to walk away.

“whatever, dude, what’s the harm in making a friend?” there’s a scoff from behind him at the word ‘friend’, but he ignores it, just like he ignores the blush rising on his cheeks.

“i’m just saying, you’ve never exactly been one to put yourself out there and make friends, so why her?” he shrugs, deciding that even starting this conversation with kindaichi had been a huge mistake and that he just wants it to be over. he’s well aware that it’s not the best idea to get close to someone he hasn’t physically met and that kindaichi’s just looking out for him, but he feels oddly protective of you and doesn’t like where the conversation is headed.

besides, his attention is no longer on what’s happening around him. he can feel his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he just knows it’s you.

kindaichi -- that’s just how it goes x role model

you’ll sleep with friends of mine // i’ll sleep with people i don’t like

he waves at you when you enter the gym, remembering that you’d promised to come watch him practice. they haven’t quite started yet, so he jogs over to you to ask how your day was. he knows why you’re really here. he can see the way you try to glance around him without being obvious about it, but he knows exactly who you’re here for. it’s so obvious it almost feels like a joke. because when kunimi wanders over to say hi, he can see the way you look at him, your ears tinted red as you smile nervously. he can see it, and he hates it, so he looks away. he always looks away. that’s why he never sees the moment when you turn your loving gaze to him or the way kunimi smiles knowingly, shaking his head at the fact that kindaichi can be so oblivious sometimes.

bokuto -- magic in the hamptons x social house, lil yachty

you know where i go when we’re dancing // handshakes in the hamptons and getting drunk in the mansions with you

“akaashi... who is that?” he’s standing in one of the aisles of the library, eyes locked on the table where akaashi can usually be found studying. he’d come to this spot specifically to find his best friend, ready to drag the younger boy off to lunch, but he’d found you instead. he’s not exactly sure how long he’s been standing there, probably in everyone’s way, but eventually akaashi does pass the aisle on his way to check out a book, stopping short at the sight of a familiar large frame. 

at akaashi’s noise of confusion from his question, bokuto does nothing more than repeat himself, swallowing hard as he watches you study. glancing past bokuto to see what he’s looking at, akaashi finally spots you, lifting his gaze and smiling almost evilly when he sees the telltale expression of awe on bokuto’s face.

“that’s y/n, bokuto-san. she’s a good friend of mine -- should i introduce you?”

akaashi -- fuck, i’m lonely x lauv, anne-marie

and all my friends are way too drunk to save me from my phone // so sorry if I say some things I mean

when akaashi steps out of the convenience store, well past midnight, the last person he’s expecting to see is you, sitting at one of the little tables outside. there’s a bottle of sake and a small disposable cup in front of you, but you’ve got your head on the table, looking out at nothing in particular. he checks his phone quickly and realizes that he does, in fact, have two texts from bokuto, the first letting him know that the two of you had gotten into a disagreement of sorts and you’d stormed out of the house to clear your head. the second is a request, friend to friend, that akaashi find her because, as annoyed he is with her, bokuto knows that his baby sister trusts akaashi more than anyone else in the world and he wants her to come home safely.

he sets his bag on the table and sits down across from you, letting you know that someone’s there. when you lift your head and see that it’s him, you give him a smile so warm that his breath catches in his throat and he has to find something to distract himself. picking the bottle of sake up from the table, he judges that you’re probably pretty tipsy, as it’s almost empty. he knows you’re pretty tipsy when you hum quietly and grab for his hand, whispering to him words that he figures you wouldn’t say if you were sober.

“I missed you, ‘kaashi.”

ushijima -- loving someone x the 1975

and i think i should be… // … loving someone

“i do not know how to tell her that she is overbearing. she even becomes angry when i try to explain that my career will not allow me the amount of time she demands of me.” he can hear you humming sleepily on the other side of the phone, and he wonders momentarily if he should have checked to see if you were sleeping before calling, but you’d told him long ago that you’d always pick up. he supposes 1am is never a good time to call, but he’s always had trouble talking to anyone who isn’t you. no one else has ever put in the effort to understand what he’s saying and especially what he isn’t saying. no one else has ever tried. not even his own girlfriend.

tendou -- blueberry faygo x lil mosey

one bad bitch, and she do what i say so

when his phone dings quietly from where he’s left it in the passenger’s seat of his car, tendou knows you’re almost ready. he rounds the corner onto your street and kills the headlights, rolling up to the front of your house as carefully as possible. he can see your parents sitting in the main room, the sofa positioned so that their backs are to the window, the TV glaring brightly in front of them. it’s a lucky setup for a certain redhead, as it’s granted him several opportunities over the years, both to sneak in and for you to sneak out. the latter is what he’s currently witnessing.

he watches as you slip out of your window and almost roll right off the roof,  but you catch yourself and maneuver very carefully to the edge of the roof. he can’t help but grab his phone to film you as your legs hang precariously off the edge, your body wiggling cutely as you try not to make noise. at some point you’re dangling in the air right in front of the window, but you drop to the ground before either of your parents can notice, and then you’re bolting down the driveway to tendou’s car in uncontained excitement. 

he watches the whole ordeal with nothing but love in his eyes, knowing there’s no one else in the world that would risk the true wrath of their parents for a 2am mcdonald’s run with him.

semi -- dangerous x big data (feat. joywave)

you understand, i got a plan for us // i bet you didn’t know that i was dangerous

he thinks he recognizes you, but he can’t quite place your familiarity. it’s a standard interview, one that the band has had scheduled for weeks now. when they get there, you’re already seated in the interviewer’s chair, a camera set up just behind you. you greet them kindly, smiling and bowing to each of the members. when you get to him, however, he has to ask.

“sorry if this comes off as a little weird, but… do we know each other?” your kind smile morphs into a smirk, so he knows he’s right. the response you give has the rest of the band howling with laughter, but he’s too busy noticing how stunning you look in that moment, your eyes dancing with mirth as you tilt your head to the side to look at him.

“you mean you don’t remember rejecting me in high school?”

goshiki -- adore you x harry styles

i’d walk through fire for you // just let me adore you

“...so what i’m trying to say, tsutomu… is that i like you. a lot…” he can hear the words leaving your mouth, but all he can see is you -- the way you refuse to meet his eyes, the deep red that’s filling your cheeks the longer you go on. he barely registers that this is a confession because all his mind can focus on is the fact that it’s taken this long for him to realize his own feelings. almost 2 years of inviting you to his games, begging your teachers to make you two seatmates at the beginning of each term, asking you to wait for him to finish practice so he could walk you home -- it had all been some selfish attempt to make you his, and he didn’t even realize it until you were trying to make him yours, too. he doesn’t let you finish your rambling confession, unable to stop himself from speaking.

“what are you doing this weekend?”

shirabu -- toothbrush x dnce

baby, you don’t have to rush // you can leave a toothbrush at my place, at my place

when the two of you had started dating, you’d both agreed that keeping things private for a little while would be best -- the shiratorizawa VBC is a lot of things, but subtle is not one of them. he’d been well aware that if anyone were to find out, he would suffer endless teasing and constant questions, and since you’re friends with all the boys, you would not be spared the torture. but “a little while” had become months, and he’s starting to feel like he’s made a mistake trying to keep you a secret. when you visit the team’s practice, he feels trapped, like he’s not even free to look at you or give you the soft smile he knows you love. he just has to sit there, blending in with the rest of the boys as they greet you, as a few of them even flirt with you. they have no idea that you’re his, and he’s really starting to hate it.

terushima -- blinding lights x the weekend

i’m drowning in the night // when i’m like this, you’re the one i trust

“yuuji, you shouldn’t be calling me…” he’s drunk -- more than drunk, really. if he’d been any less intoxicated than he currently is in this exact moment, he never would have looked for your name in his contacts. he knows you’re trying to have a clean break, that after years of back and forth and mistakes that were masked as late nights and one too many drinks, you had finally had enough. he’s trying to respect your decision because he wants nothing more than to give you everything you want. but there must be some piece of him that’s hoping you’re willing to make just one more mistake. one more mistake with you is all he needs, and then he’ll let you go.

atsumu -- love$ick x mura masa (feat. a$ap rocky)

i need you // i’m a lovesick fuck // i want you // i’m a lovesick fuck

“rin, you left this at my place last night -- my mom filled it with leftovers in case you didn’t have lunch for today.” watching as you place suna’s lunch sack beside him and nod at his quiet mumble of gratitude, atsumu considers it both a blessing and a curse that the universe made you suna’s best friend. but today he feels especially cursed, since he’s now finding himself choking half to death on his lunch when suna lets out a quick --

“by the way, this piss head’s been crushing on you for weeks -- can you please go on a date with him so i can get some peace and quiet during lunch?” snatching osamu’s water bottle right as his brother’s raising it to his own lips, atsumu quiets his lungs and glances up at you, beet red, just as you’re turning to walk away, a smirk forming on your lips.

“i’ll think about it.”

osamu -- paradise x bazzi

don’t know if it’s the drink i poured // but i swear i’ve never loved you more

“stop touchin’ my rice! it’s for the fuckin’ onigiri!” if any of his customers could see the way he’s acting right now, he’d definitely be out of business. he’s known for providing quality service with charm to match, but right now he’s acting like nothing short of… well, his brother. you’d stopped by just as the shop was closing, part of your friday night routine that consisted of nothing but your favorite miya twin and a heinous amount of food for two people. atsumu always complains that you’d shown osamu favoritism since high school, something that osamu was always secretly happy about. even now, as you stand in the kitchen of his restaurant asking him to show you how to make onigiri and then proceeding to wreak absolute havoc on his poor ingredients, he’s pleased that you’d always chosen him over anyone else. he does need you to stop touching his inventory, though.

“but what’s the difference between this rice and this ri-- okay, okay, i’m sorry!” you run around the island in the middle of the room, narrowly avoiding him as he swipes at you and yells for you to get out of his shop. he can tell you’re about to do something else to rile him up, so he tries to reach for you again but ends up tripping over his own foot and falling to the ground, taking you down with him. he only realizes just how close you are when you’re whispering his name, your breath fanning over his lips.

‘oh... shit’ 

suna -- notice me x role model (feat. benee)

let’s dance when we’re not supposed to be // can’t stand when you’re not close to me // damn, can’t believe you notice me, notice me

caging you against his bedroom wall with his arms, he presses his lips to your neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down to your collarbone. he can feel your pulse jumping in your throat, and he feels a kind of guilty pride that he’s the one that makes you feel this way. when you grasp at his shirt almost desperately and pull him flush against you, he wants to forget about the fact that this means nothing to you. he wants to forget about the way you sneak out of his room when you think he’s asleep, as if he could ever sleep peacefully knowing you’re so close. he wants to forget about how stupid he’d been, losing his courage and asking you to just be fuck buddies instead of what he really wants.

sakusa -- 505 x arctic monkeys

but i crumble completely when you cry // it seems like once again you’ve had to greet me with “goodbye”

as you storm toward the front door, his hand wraps firmly around your wrist, pulling you back to him. when you whip around to look at him, your eyes, burning with anger and wet with tears, have his heart breaking clean in half, but he doesn’t let go.

“i’m not letting you leave. you’re the one who said leaving wouldn’t fix anything. we have to fix this.” the look you give him is resigned, almost as if you think there’s no point in fixing what had slowly been breaking between you. if you had been anyone else -- if he could live without you -- he would have let you go a long time ago. but you’re not someone else, you’re you. and he’s not ready to live without you, so he doesn’t let go. he can’t let go.

aone -- firebird x milky chance

you’re like a firebird in the sky // shining for a challenger in the night

there’s a hand wrapping around his bicep as he stands in front of the chinese food takeout place on his street, waiting for futakuchi to finish ordering for them. when he looks down, you’re looking right back up at him, a complete stranger.

“babe, i thought you said you’d meet me at the corner!” he blinks inquisitively, tilting his head to the side, but he can see that there’s thinly veiled panic in your eyes. glancing quickly over your shoulder, he catches sight of two guys not too far away, watching closely. acting on the only conclusion that makes sense to him in that moment, he removes his arm from your grasp, but just as that panic in your eyes starts to grow, he’s wrapping it around you, pulling you into his chest comfortably. 

“i’m sorry, i must have forgotten.” he wants to cringe at his own stiff language, hoping he doesn’t blow your cover and make things worse, but you’re relaxing into him as the guys finally decide you aren’t worth the trouble. once they’re gone, he drops his arm but keeps you close just in case. he wants to offer to walk you home, but he doesn’t like the idea that those guys are still wandering the streets and could find out where you live if they spot you again any time soon. you start to apologize for catching him so off guard, but his voice, firm yet polite, stops you.

“do you like chinese food?”

futakuchi -- 7 rings x ariana grande

happiness is the same price as red-bottoms

he doesn’t see you at first, the lighting in the room so dark that he can barely see his drink in his own hand. the club is beyond crowded, and the sweat that starting to roll down his spine is making him really uncomfortable. he pulls out his phone to text you, but then he remembers that he’d upset you earlier -- a remark that had come out automatically, his quick, unfiltered comments a product of his sharp tongue -- and you had cancelled your plans with him and told him you would text him in a few days. he has no right to be upset, he knows he shouldn’t have been rude to you. but then he spots a dress not too far away -- a dress he very clearly remembers paying for. 

you’re hanging off of some other guy, and it looks like you two know each other because you aren’t tense around him like you were when you’d first met him all those years ago. you’re not his, he has to remind himself. this arrangement had been built on nothing but sex and money, as all things tend to be. you keep him company, and he gives you anything you could ever want -- the perfect sugar daddy.

then why is he so goddamn irritated?