#lotr fuck moment

[blinday]

[andromeda3116]

people actually went on about how game of thrones made it socially acceptable to be a fantasy nerd, as though the lord of the rings movies hadn't been released less than a decade earlier and left far greater cultural ripples and i am just

got may have made the adults feel better about liking fantasy, but lotr got into the kids' heads when they (we) were just young and impressionable enough to be absolutely transported and emotionally rewritten by don't you leave him, samwise gamgee and my brother, my captain, my king and and rohan will answer

lotr was rewriting entire generations' brain chemistry long before asoiaf and so obviously it's not fair to compare any post-lotr fantasy novel to it, and each book series was trying to do different things within their own spheres and so that also is not a fair comparison, but in terms of the cultural impact of the adaptations that came out within a decade of each other, saying that it was game of thrones that made fantasy mainstream is baffling

game of thrones could only run because the lord of the rings movies laid the path, and i will die on this hill

[sunderedseas]

sick and twisted how much frodo loves the shire, his home, and yet most of the people who live there didn’t care about him when he came home, didn’t want to hear his stories, just thought him cracked. respected him enough as he had wealth and his class as landed gentry. but didn’t care. tolkien what the fuck

[estel-of-the-eyrie]

Throwaway line in fanfic sprint today has led me to a hilarious headcanon:

Aragorn is scared of bees.

[borom1r]

unwillingly learning things abt Game of Thrones from ppl I follow (said w all the affection in my heart) and having to fight for my fucking life against the urge to finally watch it bc ik if I do I will wind up like

[cornerful]

'Tell me of these havens as we walk.'

'I cannot,' said Merry. 'I have never seen them. I have never been out of my own land before. And if I had known what the world outside was like, I don't think I should have had the heart to leave it.'

'Not even to see fair Lothlórien?' said Haldir. 'The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.

'Some there are among us who sing that the Shadow will draw back, and peace shall come again. Yet I do not believe that the world about us will ever again be as it was of old, or the light of the Sun as it was aforetime. For the Elves, I fear, it will prove at best a truce, in which they may pass to the Sea unhindered and leave the Middle-earth for ever. Alas for Lothlórien that I love! It would be a poor life in a land where no mallorn grew. But if there are mallorn-trees beyond the Great Sea, none have reported it.'

So I Tried to make a post about all the feelings I'm having about Tolkien's themes of impermanence and the inherent tragedy of the elves and how this and Merry's words and Sam's words from other contexts all relate to the ring and Frodo and his choices throughout the story and how wonderfully upsetting it all is--

And it turned into one of those games of connect the dots where more dots keep appearing like stars in a sunset in the country when you've only ever lived in a city and it got completely out of control and will have to be shelved for later.

GPOY

Damn it

[symphonyofsilence]

Listen...I know red is a color associated with fire, anger, blood, energy, strength, passion, war & rebellion & danger & such so that's why it's the Fëanorian color...

But also...in universe...I see how it could be Fëanor's favorite color or the color he sees fit for his house but I'm just saying...could it be Fëanor's favorite color because...you know...a certain lady's hair color?

[aquarianshift]

i'm dead i've died

i knew they wanted to do a LotR adaptation but

...........😐

[rohirric-hunter]

Oh, nice. Everything I loathe about session play in one convenient little bundle.

[tieflingbi]

characters (and also by extension franchises) that wield hope like a weapon make me go so fucking feral it’s UNREAL

[blinday]

[ethereumwinds]

The moment when, after many years of hard work and a long voyage you stand in the centre of your room, house, half-acre, square mile, island, country, knowing at last how you got there, and say, I own this, is the same moment -

[astronicht]

Okay I'm almost done with Fellowship, here's an incomplete list of shit I noticed and thought was buck fucking wild on my first ever read-thru: medieval edition.

In literally the second line of the book, Tolkien implies that Bilbo Baggins wrote a story which was preserved alongside the in-universe version of the Mabinogion (aka the best-known collection of Welsh myths; I promise this is batshit). This is because The Hobbit has been preserved, in Tolkien's AU version of our world, in a "selection of the Red Book of Westmarch" (Prologue, Concerning Hobbits). If you're a medievalist and you see something called "The Red Book of" or "The Black Book of" etc it's a Thing. In this case, a cheeky reference to the Red Book of Hergest (Llyfr Coch Hergest). There are a few Red Books, but only Hergest has stories).

not a medieval thing but i did not expect one common theory among hobbits for the death of Frodo's parents to be A RUMORED MURDER-SUICIDE.

At the beginning of the book a few hobbits report seeing a moving elm tree up on the moors, heading west (thru or past the Shire). I mentioned this in another post, but another rule: if you see an elm tree, that's a Girl Tree. In Norse creation myth, the first people were carved from driftwood by the gods. Their names were Askr (Ash, as in the tree), the first man, and Embla (debated, but likely elm tree), the first woman. A lot of ppl have I think guessed that that was an ent-wife, but like. Literally that was a GIRL. TREE.

Medieval thing: I used to read the runes on the covers of The Hobbit and LOTR for fun when I worked in a bookshop. There's a mix of Old Norse (viking) and Old English runes in use, but all the ones I've noticed so far are real and readable if you know runes.

Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you once spent months of your life researching the early medieval art of galdor, which was the use of poems or songs to do a form of word-magic, often incorporating gibberish. If you think maybe Tolkien did not base the entirety of Fellowship so far around learning and using galdor and thus the power of words and stories, that is fine I cannot force you. He did personally translate "galdor" in Beowulf as "spell" (spell, amusingly, used to mean "story"). And also he named an elf Galdor. Like he very much did name an elf Galdor.

Tom Bombadil in fact does galdor from the moment we meet him. He arrives and fights the evil galdor (song) of the willow tree ("old gray willow-man, he's a mighty singer"), which is singing the hobbits to sleep and possibly eating them, with a galdor (song) of his own. Then he wanders off still singing, incorporating gibberish. I think it was at this point that I started clawing my face.

THEN Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you've read the description of the scop's songs in Beowulf (Beowulf again, but hey, Tolkien did famously a. translate it b. write a fanfiction about it called Sellic Spell where he gave Beowulf an arguably homoerotic Best Friend). The scop (pronounched shop) is a poet who sings about deeds on earth, but also by profession must know how to sing the song or tell the story of how the cosmos itself came to be. The wise-singer who knows the deep lore of the early universe is a standard trope in Old English literature, not just Beowulf! Anyway Tom Bombadil takes everyone home and tells them THE ENTIRE STORY OF ALL THE AGES OF THE EARTH BACKWARDS UNTIL JUST BEFORE THE MOMENT OF CREATION, THE BIG BANG ITSELF and then Frodo Baggins falls asleep.

Tom Bombadil knows about plate tectonics

This is sort of a lie, Tom Bombadil describes the oceans of old being in a different place, which works as a standard visual of Old English creation, which being Christian followed vaguely Genesis lines, and vaguely Christian Genesis involves a lot of water. TOLKIEN knew about plate tectonics though.

Actually I just checked whether Tolkien knew about plate tectonics because I know the advent of plate tectonics theory took forever bc people HATED it and Alfred Wegener suffered for like 50 years. So! actually while Tolkien was writing LOTR, the scientific community was literally still not sure plate tectonics existed. Tom Bombadil knew tho.

Remember that next time you (a geologist) are forced to look at the Middle Earth map.

I'm not even done with Tom Bombadil but I'm stopping here tonight. Plate tectonics got me. There's a great early (but almost high!) medieval treatise on cosmology and also volcanoes and i wonder if tolkien read it. oh my god. i'm going to bed.

edit: part II

[cornerful]

"This is my favorite part" i say, for the tenth time

[moonlit-solace]

so the silmarillion is really good and I really like aulë thank u for making the dwarves ily

[gus-the-goldfish]

Headcanon: riding them the first time

A/N; No one asked for this, but i, once again, fell into the lotr/hobbit hole. So there is that. Now I will probably disappear for another year before posting any stories. Enjoy!

Rating: 18+ minors avert your eyes

Warnings: smut!, a tiny bit of degradation

Characters involved: Kili, Fili, Thranduil

Kili:

The first time you literally flipped him over to be on top, his eyebrows shot up so high on his forehead you were worried they would never return to normal

Boy was he surprised

He is usually a talker, loves to tease you in and outside of the bedroom but at that moment, he was speechless

For a few seconds he just stared at you, not knowing what the fuck he was supposed to do now since he was usually the one on top

You started out slow , just grinding against him which had him gripping your hips so hard you were sure there would be bruises

Honestly he wouldn’t be able to stop moaning because it felt so fucking good

And the way you look, fuck. Enjoying yourself, literally using him for your own pleasure

From that day on, he was the one almost begging you to ride him

Fili:

Fili, like his brother, was surprised to have you on top of him but he recovered quickly and had a shit eating grin plastered on his face “Alright then...”

He would quiet literally lean back and enjoy the show, giving you some encouraging words along the way

��Doing so good, love. Keep going.”

“That’s it, make yourself cum.”

Would shamelessly grab, kiss, bite and lick any inch of skin he could find

Grabs your hips to keep you still once he noticed you’re close, just to hear you whimper and beg him to let you cum

“Not yet, love. You got to work for it.”

When he feels like you deserve to cum, he would just grab the back of your neck and pull you down to him before fucking up into you with a intensity that lets you see stars

Safe to say its his new favorite position

Thranduil:

He felt insulted the first time you mentioned your desire to be on top for once

Thranduil is a king. A king has to be in control

He agreed to try it after lots of convincing (and to shut you up)

Once you finally settled on top of him, with his cock deep inside of you, he had the audacity to look bored. Bored!

Tried really hard to look unaffected when you started to move, but you did notice him licking his lips at the way your boobs bounced right in his face

He kept his hands at his sides, denying you the pleasure of his hands on your body even when you begged him to touch you, to guide you

Would definitely start mocking you when your legs gave out right before your orgasm

“What is it, meleth nin? You wanted to do this on your own, didn’t you?”

“Look at my stupid little girl, cant even ride her king properly.”

Finally had mercy on you when you started to cry from frustration and desperation

“No, no don’t cry now little star. I will show you how it’s done.”

Would fuck and overstimulate you for hours to remind you why he is the one on top

Secretly likes you on top anyway