#love my weird little cat guys a lot and I'm glad we're getting some really good writing for them

[loregoddess]

damn I knew the Nibelheim section was gonna be kinda sad, but did the devs really, really have to go and make it sadder?

[queeniecook]

January 25 - Part 2

The Sun came up and was halfway in the sky by the time Este and I reached BrindleBay. I drove us there, I don't see the point in taking the private jet for a trip like that. Plus Este has yet to be on a plane. I'm not sure how she'll handle it.

Jillian was still in her Pajamas at the house, which I don't blame her. She's been through a lot. I can't imagine going into labor in the middle of a snowstorm and having to seek shelter in an abandoned house. Not to mention what happened after that. It's a miracle she and Slade are healthy.

I told her I'd watch Slade while she cleaned up for the day. Este found toys in the nursery, so she was good for about a half hour.

He's a cute little guy. It's a bit weird. Holding the baby of a man you used to date and have really strong feelings for and will always care about - but I'm happy for him and Jillian too.

"I bet you're going to be a heartbreaker when you're older." I told Slade softly as I rocked him. I glanced down at my own child, who was busy playing with a harry puffer toy. 

~A half hour later

"Don't get me wrong, we're all glad James helped you. But don't you think it's kind of weird he somehow knew were you where?" I asked Jillian after she filled me in on what she remembered from the night Slade was born.

Meanwhile, Este was making friends with Annabel Lee. I smiled briefly at that before looking back at Jillian.

"I guess I haven't really thought about it much because I've just been grateful my son and I are both alive." She admitted to me. "It is kind of odd."

"Yeah, he don't live here. He lives in Forgotten Hollow which is over an hour away." I told her, I remember the trips well due to my time going to see Caleb there. That seems like a lifetime ago now.

"Maybe it was just God's way of working things out?" Jillian asks, glancing down at Este and her cat. 

"It could be. Just...be careful around James. Please." I requested. I don't trust that warlock at all. I'm sure she's seen a different side of him but Caleb has known him longer than the rest of us. He don't trust James and that's good enough for me.

About that time, Jillian's Mom- Denise Ambrose arrived. I had yet to meet her and I instantly liked her. It made me miss my Mom. I wish she had gotten to meet Este.

"You really do need to talk to Dakota. The longer you two don't talk, the longer it'll fester. The uglier it can be." Denise reminded her daughter after she set the table with a dish she made in an instant pot. 

"I agree with your Mom, for the record. There's time I've wasted fighting with Caleb and I wish I hadn't wasted it now." I commented. Like after we found out Liberty is a "alive" and is a vampire. I didn't talk to my husband for weeks and it was while I was pregnant with our daughter. 

"I know admitting you were wrong can be uncomfortable, honey but you need to." Denise said after sitting down to join us. 

Jillian shoved a bite in her mouth to avoid saying anything.

"Both of you could of handled the situation better but nothing goes smoothly in the heat of the moment. You two love each other, it's time for talking and making up." Denise finished her thought before taking a bite of her own food. 

I almost cried a little. If my parents were around, maybe I'd avoid some mistakes but then again, are kids ever good at listening to their parents? Even when they're older? Still. I miss them. Jillian is blessed to have both of her parents. I hope she knows that.

<-previous

[chocoenvy]

💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥💥💥💳 MORE TRANS READER PLEASE. CRYING ACTUAL TEARS OF JOY. I AM DISSOLVING INTO A PUDDLE OF TEARS. NEW FAVORITE AUTHOR

A;SLDKFJASDFAS YOU'RE SO FALS;KFJASLDFKAS NICE PLS I LOVE YOU PLATONICALLY???????? I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!! SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE SAID HOW THEY LOVE THE TRANS READER! I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY TRANS PPL IN THE WILD!!! YOU'RE SO NICE I'M JUST-A;SLDKFJASLFKJASF THANK YOU <33333

MORE TRANS READER AS PER YOUR REQUEST! it's a bit of a mess but it's super fun and fluffy.

warnings: cult behaviors, dysphoria, lots of fluff :))

Nicknames and constant compliments.

They'd call you Prince/Princess, I don't make the rules

some of them start to get the whole dysphoria thing and will give you small compliments that mean the world

like "Your hands are so masculine/feminine!" "Wow your voice is so cute/handsome/hot/pretty!" "You've got a little fuzz on your face."/ "Your face is so smooth!"

stuff like that. the compliments that cater to your weird dysphoric needs.

I STILL WANNA STAY ON THE OUTFIT THOUGHTS OKAY?

Ningguang buying you literally anything you want.

Taking your kins or characters you find aesthetically pleasing to help you pick out outfits

Imagine buying a really masc/fem outfit and strutting around with the boys/girls in town acting like you own the place (because you do)

(Fem) imagine a flowy dress or skirt and flowy sleeves. Or a cute kimono from Inazuma with cute earrings you got from your favorite character. (Imagine getting cat earrings from Diona)

(Masc) Or a hoodie like chongyun has, a dress shirt, chains, rings. That necklace thing that Thoma wears.

PIRATE. APPAREL. A PIRATE HAT. pirate apparel is not gendered but imagine a super masc/fem version of pirate wear and boarding the alcor with Beidou i'm-

The amount of euphoria!

and if anybody ever misgenders you on purpose literally the entirety of teyvat will sneer at them

like wtf dude? that's basic human respect dumbass. you're creating a problem from nothing.

you'll never see whoever did that again :)) (childe took the "boil the homophobes" too literally)

Comfort from Dysphoria

as far as we're aware none of the characters are trans and understand dysphoria. But if there is anybody that would understand it would be the gods. Specifically Venti.

They can change forms, surely they understand that if they're in the wrong form everything feels wrong.

Whenever you approach Venti about this he understands. Not to the extent you do since he's not trapped in one body, but he does get it.

"It was such an awful feeling." Venti grimaced, "I changed my form as soon as I could to get rid of it. Is that what you go through everyday?" His eyes shone with pity. Sadness that his beloved god feels so awful all the time.

Venti, being the cutest dumbass bard that he is, sings a song praising you using your name and pronouns (think "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" but you and your pronouns. really dumb but cute)

It's so goofy that you can't help but giggle uncontrolably. Any thoughts of dysphoria or self hatred pretty much gone with the wind.

-Venti jokingly making his voice higher/lower to show you how masc/fem you are

-Zhongli giving you masculine/feminine jewlery custom made by him with pretty stones

-Ei doesn't know how to be comforting so she'll probably just be your supply of sweets on those really rough days. She'll also personally m u r d e r those that made you upset.

-IMAGINE Beidou and Xinyan helping you look like a masculine girl and Venti and Xingqiu helping you look like feminine guy. Like imagine for my trans mascs, looking like a boy but wearing a skirt!! Or wearing a tux and looking like a girl for trans fems!!

"Razor, what do I smell like?"

"Like...Lupical..."

"No, like, does my scent give away my biological sex?"

"Sex? Your scent... like lupical?"

"Razor I-"

"..."

"T-thank you Razor..."

":D"

-Someone is misgendering you and the traveler gets more and more pissed off while Paimon not-so-sutbly corrects them, her voice getting higher and higher everytime they use the wrong pronoun.

TransMasc!Reader: My chest is so big :(

Beidou: *proud* Not as big as these honkers *slaps her chest*

Transfem Reader begging the women of genshin to spare some boobage.

Aether and Lumine being the best older siblings:

Aether helping transmasc reader with his wardrobe and daily routine.

"i have long hair so you shouldn't worry about how long yours is"

He helps you do masculine makeup, "My sister taught me how to do it, i'll try to make is as masculine as possible :))"

if your hair is short but grows back super quick and you don't wanna get your hair cut every week Aether will jokingly put it in a tiny ponytail to match his braid.

You teasingly steal his sword and he just stares at you with his hand to his chin, humming, "You look very masculine with a sword."

Lumine dresses transfem reader all pretty everyday with fancy and cute dresses and jewlery.

Going shopping with Lumine and she points out every item she thinks would look good on you.

"Here take these dresses and model them for me!" She grinned.

The two of you had a whole fashion show in the dressing room.

Lumine puts flowers in your hair whenever she can because you just look so cute! (it was originally Venti's idea but Lumine beat him to it)

Lumine doing your makeup super fem and pretty. Matching makeup!! The two of you sitting at the vanity staring into the mirror, "What kind of look are we going for today?"

STYLING. YOUR. HAIR. doesn't matter how long or short it is, it's Lumine's to style! now She'll have a blast with your hair, she has lots of experience with Aether's hair and her own so she'll have fun and you'll definetely like the results.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Mist | Choi San | Chapter 3

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 9.9k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

--------------

"But I want to sleep..." Seohyun complained.

"Is sleep more important to you than us?" Wooyoung asked.

"Of course it is. Is that even a question?" Seohyun raised her brow and Wooyoung gaped at her.

"We've been friends for long now, Wooyoung, I thought you knew better not to ask questions like these," Yeosang said, laughing.

It had been more than a month now since that incident with San. Seohyun looked at each of them slowly, smiling. Despite herself, she had gotten quite used to the company of these boys. And they were EIGHT. It was hard to not be alone. Even if some of them were busy, the rest would always fool around after school as well.

Seohyun had gotten to know them well now too. She knew that Hongjoong, the oldest, also acted like one. He had a thing for fashion, and had reformed her navy blue cap that she always wore, embroidering a cat on it.

Seonghwa was the mom of this group for sure. He was always keeping them in check, always stopping them from doing something stupid (which was most of the times) and always helping them with homework. He was very caring, and he couldn't hide that part of himself.

Yunho was the clown of the group, and surprisingly, she was getting along with him and Yeosang quite well. Yeosang and her had the savageness in common, which mixed well with Yunho's humor. Since the three sat next to each other, they would always pass a joke or two to her even during class, and she had to beg them to stop one too many times.

Wooyoung and Mingi were quite funny too. There was just something contagious about their smiles. Seohyun found herself smiling a lot in their company. It didn't help that Wooyoung laughed like a hyena; even when she had no reason to laugh, she'd burst out laughing when she heard Wooyoung laugh.

She was getting along well with Jongho too, especially because they were paired for a project. She hadn't had the chance to talk to him much but once she did, she found that he was actually quite witty despite his dad jokes, and that he loved singing and... breaking apples. Which was weird but it was fun to see how strong he was.

"All you do is sleep, Seohyun. You have to come with us now," San insisted.

Seohyun stared at San. She was glad they were out of danger -for now. The old ghost had finally moved on after realizing that killing Seohyun was not worth it (thanks to Jiwoo). San had gotten close to Jiwoo as well. When she was not hanging out with the boys, she was with San. He liked being in her company because apparently 'he didn't want to look stupid alone staring at the distance'. He could see all sorts of ghosts now and Seohyun was helping him practice differentiating between the living and the dead.

"All right, but if I see something stupid, I leave. Okay?" Seohyun locked eyes with him and he nodded assuredly, smiling and showing off his dimples.

Hongjoong had been insisting that she finally come to their 'second home'. Apparently it was a warehouse that Hongjoong's father owned but had no use for so Hongjoong turned it into a place for him and the boys to hang out. She had no idea what they did there, and they finally wanted to show her the place because they all 'approved of her now and accepted her as one of them'.

The warehouse wasn't far from school so they decided to walk there. The black cat was walking with them now. San bent to pick her up, patting her head.

"Still didn't come up with a name?" Seohyun asked.

"You rejected Shiber. I don't want any other name," San pouted.

"I told you you could call it Shiber, I'll just... call it whatever I call her... hey what do I even call her?" Seohyun wondered.

"You never actually call her, do you?" San laughed a little, caressing the cat's neck, "She sticks to you, and you didn't even give her a name. I'm disappointed in you."

"I couldn't find the right name," Seohyun mumbled, frowning.

"Still, she's been your friend for what, like a year now-"

"FINE. Shiber. That sounds like a male name though."

"It's my plushie's name, but she reminds me of it," San admitted.

"You're naming my cat after a plushie? SAN!" Seohyun punched San's arm, making him laugh out loud. Wooyoung joined them, grinning.

"San's had that plushie since he was a kid," Wooyoung said. "I'm not surprised that he couldn't come up with any other name."

"You should've told me before, I would have never allowed him to name the cat then..." Seohyun shook her head but grinned.

"We're here!" Hongjoong announced, and Seohyun took off her sunglasses as she looked at the large warehouse, the sun reflecting harshly back at her, making her eyes water.

They went inside, Seohyun stepping in last and she blinked as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Mingi turned the light on, and she ran her eyes around.

"Woah," she breathed. It really did feel like a 'home'. The place had everything they could think of; sofas, couches, tables, a fridge for snacks, a basket for basketball, and so many musical instruments and equipment. "Are you guys secretly famous musicians or what?"

"Nothing like that," Seonghwa laughed, "We just really like music. Hongjoong is always making songs though. We fool around."

"I wouldn't call this 'fooling around'," Seohyun said, walking towards the equipment, stopping mid-way. "Can I?"

"Of course," several of them replied, nodding. She smiled as she ran her fingers across the piano, looking at the speakers and the mics. She saw some pages, probably lyrics scribbled on them, lying on the table near.

"So you guys... make music? Do you want to be idols or something?"

"For now, we're just exploring," Jongho replied, "Who knows? Maybe some of us might want to go into the musical side."

"So you all sing?"

"I'm the rapper," Mingi said, "Hongjoong raps too."

Seohyun made an impressed face. She pressed some of the piano keys, and something clicked at her mind. She looked up at Hongjoong as a grin spread across her face. "So that's why your fingers are always tapping at the desk. You make music!"

"Oh? I'm surprised you noticed," Hongjoong admitted.

"It's hard to not notice when you're sitting in my vision with fingers tapping nonstop while I'm trying to focus in class. You were doing something like this today, weren't you?" Seohyun said and played the keys that had unintentionally been printed in her memory.

"Woah, I'm more surprised that you remembered it!" Hongjoong clapped in disbelief and then narrowed his eyes at her. "Do you... know how to play?"

"The piano? Not much. But I have a drum set at home," Seohyun said and she saw as the boys looked at each other, applauding her.

"What?" Seohyun asked.

"We knew there was something about you," Wooyoung went on dramatically, waving his hands as he said "who knew we had a shared passion for music?"

"I wouldn't call it 'passion' per se, it's more of a... hobby. A stress-reliever, if you will. And stop ogling at me like you guys won a jackpot. I know what's going through your heads, and I say no."

"But you can play!" Mingi wailed, "We need more people to play the instruments! These guys-" he pointed at the boys one by one, "-they never learn!"

"Hey, hey, hey, look who's saying! Didn't you want to learn drums? What happened to that?"

"I don't have a drum-set!"

"I can play too!" Jongho and Yeosang complained.

Seohyun watched as the boys started arguing among themselves, and she shook her head. She had never imagined they like making music this much. If she had known, she might not have told them about her drums, much less her room full of instruments at a time like this.

"If you don't shut up, I'll never bring any instrument here."

"You mean you will if we shut up?" San asked, followed by Seonghwa who said, "You have more than one instrument?"

Seohyun sighed. "This is overwhelming, okay? Like I respect what you do, but I'm still new to being friends with you all, and it would take me some time to open up to you guys about the instruments. It's just... I have some memories- I don't really want to go back there."

"Oh..." San raised his brow and she bit her lip. She hadn't lied. She had some memories attached to those instruments that she would rather forget. It had been about two years since she'd played. She wanted to shut out that part of herself. She wanted to throw those instruments, but she hadn't been able to.

"Can you just... tell me which instruments you have, other than the drums?" Hongjoong asked cautiously.

Seohyun rolled her eyes. "Drums, bass, electric-"

"WOW!" Wooyoung gasped out very loud.

"-and violin. And I can play piano and guitar too. But it's been like two years since I last played so I'm probably very rough now..."

"Is one of your parent a musician or what?" Yunho asked.

"No, the drums were my mom's. The rest, I bought them when I was going through a phase."

"A phase. Wow," Yeosang snickered, earning daggers from Seohyun.

"Alright, we won't pressure you or anything. But you're free to play the piano if you want to," Yunho suggested, "and you're free to do whatever you want."

"Thanks for understanding," Seohyun muttered, smiling at him.

"But I wanted to learn the drums..." Mingi wailed.

"Who knows? Maybe I'll be the one to teach you," Seohyun said nonchalantly, making him smile his famous gummy smile.

"So anyways, what's with those mirrors?" Seohyun asked.

"Oh, that? We like to dance too," Jongho said.

"Oh my god. You guys should stop watching all those idol videos..."

"But we're good at it!" Wooyoung laughed, "And anyways, even if we don't go down that route, we love doing it anyway. It's our way of releasing stress."

"Sure," Seohyun nodded.

"Don't tell me you can dance too," Seonghwa narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh no. I don't think I can," Seohyun admitted. Unless you could count those random 3 am sad twerks as dancing. The boys watched as she suspiciously tried to avoid their gaze, looking around.

"So now that we've told you so much about ourselves, how about you tell us something that we don't know?" Jongho suggested.

"I don't know what's there to tell," Seohyun said, her eyes unintentionally falling on San who lightly shook his head.

"Anything. Something. It's just that we'd like to know you more," Seonghwa smiled warmly at her.

"How about you just ask me and I'll answer? Because it feels like I'll never be able to start myself..."

"Or how about," Yeosang started, a devilish smile spreading across his face, "we play truth or dare?"

"Oh no..."

----------------

Yeosang made everyone sit in a circle, and though very reluctant at first, Seohyun had to sit down too (after being dragged by Wooyoung). They discussed the rules; they could choose between truth or dare, and if a person didn't want to answer a question they should just say so instead of lying, which would earn them a penalty.

Hongjoong spun the bottle, and Seohyun prayed it would never land on her. At least not today. She wasn't feeling it. She still thought that the eight of them were well knit as they were, they didn't need her between them.

The bottle landed on Yunho, and he laughed nervously. Jongho asked truth or dare, and he replied with dare. Not fair, Seohyun thought. She wasn't sure she would ever choose dare. She had no idea what sort of dares they were gonna give.

"Alright, show us your golden retriever! You haven't done that in a long time!"

"Golden retriever?" Seohyun asked. She had heard them talk about it once or twice, but she had no idea what it was about.

"Ah, I'm getting nervous~" Yunho laughed awkwardly. She supposed it was because he was gonna do it in front of her for the first time.

"Come on, don't be shy," Wooyoung teased and he nodded, taking in a deep breath. He turned his head back, then looked forward, his eyes a bit wide as he made a paw out of his hand and flicked it, barking in the cutest way possible.

Seohyun was silent for a moment before she burst out laughing. She was howling at this point, making the rest of them laugh too.

"At least I made her laugh!" Yunho said proudly.

Seohyun wiped tears from the corner of her eyes. "That was hilarious. You really do look like a puppy, Yunho."

"Thanks?" Yunho said and laughed.

"Alright, next!" Jongho said, spinning the bottle, and to Seohyun's relief, it stopped at Hongjoong who was right next to her. He wailed.

"I choose... dare."

"You all are gonna end up choosing dare. I'll be the only one choosing truth it seems," Seohyun groaned.

"You know what to do," Yeosang said, locking eyes with Wooyoung who nodded. "Michael Jackson impression."

"NO! I CHOOSE TRUTH!"

"It's too late to turn back now!" San said.

"It's embarrassing enough to do it even in front of one of you, and now there's EIGHT of you. Alright. Here goes nothing." Hongjoong got up and straightened his clothes. He took a few steps back so everyone could see. He made the famous pose and sang Billie Jeans, attempting to mimic Michel Jackson's style. It would have been okay if everyone hadn't burst out laughing, making Seohyun laugh a little too.

"How did you even come up with this?" Seohyun asked in disbelief.

"I don't even remember now..." Hongjoong pouted. He spun the bottle, and it landed on Wooyoung.

"Truth," he smiled rather proudly, folding his arms.

"Who do you love more, Hongjoong or Seonghwa?" Yeosang asked. The rest of them laughed as Wooyoung's eyes went wide in panic.

"That's like you're asking if I like mom or dad more! Isn't this unfair?"

"Who did you like more though?" Jongho asked.

"Mom-"

"You like Seonghwa more. Alright, next!" Hongjoong concluded, leaving Wooyoung attempting to explain that it was not like that anymore and he liked both of them equally, but everyone was ignoring him. Seohyun thought it must be an inside joke too.

"Your turn," San smirked at her. Seohyun, who had been distracted and hadn't seen the bottle spin, eyed them suspiciously.

"I move my eyes off the bottle for a second and it lands on me. Are you sure you didn't cheat?"

"We did NO SUCH THING," Wooyoung huffed.

Seohyun locked eyes with each of them. "Fine. Truth."

She watched as the boys looked at each other, suggesting questions while Seohyun tried to calm the rumbling storm of nervousness in her stomach. Should she have gone with dare?

"Can we ask... anything?" Mingi looked at her and Seohyun shrugged.

"I mean, we're friends now, right? So go ahead. If I think it's too personal, I'll say so." Seohyun nodded and the boys looked at each other before finally turning to her.

"What's the real reason you don't have friends?"

Seohyun's eyes unintentionally went to San's, and the boys noticed, looking between the two of them. San shrugged, as if saying 'I tried.'

"Does... San know something?" Seonghwa asked cautiously.

"You don't have to answer, you know that right?" Yeosang added.

Seohyun sighed deeply, nodding. She looked at San again, who nodded back, pointing behind her and mouthing Jiwoo. Seohyun sighed in relief now. She might as well give it a try.

"Since you guys shared something today, I will too. But it's kind of... weird. Unbelievable. You might think I'm lying. You might think worse things. Whatever you think, do tell me, because I can prove it."

"Don't tell me you're some sort of a secret agent," Yeosang said, earning a slap from Hongjoong who shushed him.

"Alright, we'll hear you out," he said.

"I... can see ghosts. The dead."

There was a moment of silence before Jongho raised his eyebrow. "What? You mind saying that again?"

"I said I can see the dead. I can see ghosts. I can touch them. I help them move on."

While the boys exchanged looks, still in disbelief, San smiled at her and Seohyun nervously laughed. She had finally said it out loud.

"So you can... see ghosts? Like in the movies?" Mingi asked.

"Yep. They're just like us. Unless they're old."

"How do we believe you? I mean, you could be joking," Yunho asked.

"Well, San knows," Seohyun said, and everyone looked at San, who nodded, then looked back at her.

"How does he know?" Wooyoung asked.

"Long story. He got caught up in something, which led him to discover my secret and eventually led him to seeing ghosts too."

"You both are mad." Wooyoung laughed nervously.

"You want proof?" Seohyun challenged.

"Sure. I can do with that," Wooyoung folded his arms, anticipating.

"Alright folks, you're in for a surprise," Seohyun heard Jiwoo say. Jiwoo rubbed her hands and went near Seohyun, picking her hair and making it look like it was flying in the air.

The boys... shouted.

"MEDUSA!" She heard someone shout amidst them. San tried to calm them down but it was no use. They all were... freaking out, to put it simply. Half of them were gasping while the other half was laughing in disbelief.

Jiwoo dropped her hair down and they watched as she pulled the sunglasses off her shirt and the glasses magically disappeared.

"Where did the glasses go?" Wooyoung asked.

"Ji- the ghost. Her name is Jiwoo. She's a friend of mine. So when she takes something of mine, it would disappear once I'm not holding it anymore. But-" Jiwoo handed her the glasses back and they watched it appear out of thin air, "when she gives them back, here they are."

"Is this... magic or really a ghost?" Jongho asked.

"It's a ghost, believe me," San finally said.

"So you can see ghosts now too? How?"

"Let me explain," Seohyun said, and narrated the events, giving a little backstory about how she was born with this, and that she actually helped ghosts move on.

"That's kind of cool though," Yunho commented.

"Wouldn't call it cool," Seohyun muttered and Seonghwa noticed.

"It must not be easy to live like this..." he said, and she hesitantly nodded.

"Is that why you changed schools so often?" Hongjoong asked and she nodded. The boys looked at each other, trying to figure out what to say.

"Well, you won't have to worry about that again," Yeosang said, "We'll help you. You won't have to move again if something happens."

"It's not that easy, Yeosang. If something unexplainable happens, I won't be able to hide it."

"Oh don't worry about that," Mingi laughed, "unexplainable things always happen to me. We'll cover for you, trust me."

Seohyun was, for the first time, touched by how earnest they sounded. They really were a weird group of friends.

"I'm kind of jealous that San can see ghosts now too," Hongjoong sulked. "Can't we see too?"

Before Seohyun could answer, everyone else burst into complains too about how they wanted to see too. "Hey hey," Seohyun began, "first of all, it's too risky. I almost died and then San was able to see."

"WHAT!"

"You forgot to tell them that part," San muttered.

"Ah, right. So when I had to teleport San, we ended up in the other dimension, right? So I had to teleport again, and I had a massive nosebleed plus headache. I passed out too."

"Oh..."

"Even if it was easy, I would never do that to you. And I wish I could take it away from San. I wish it would fade," Seohyun said, and San looked at her, shocked. He had not expected this.

"It's not about it being cool, San," she locked eyes with him, "Being able to see ghosts mean you're attracting danger every second. Thank god you can't touch them. That means they're not able to touch you, not directly. I want you all to be safe, that's why I won't ever do that to the rest of you."

There was a moment of heavy silence, then Seonghwa broke the ice. "I understand. It's okay, you don't have to do that. We want you to be safe too, so if you're ever in some sort of danger, don't hesitate to ask for help."

"Thanks Seonghwa, I really appreciate it." Seohyun smiled.

"It's really unbelievable though. What does this ghost look like?" Wooyoung asked, eyes brimming with curiosity.

Seohyun grinned a little. "Well, she's a girl. Jiwoo. She's about my height, has long black hair with red streaks. Has a mole on her cheek. Also, she's weird-"

Jiwoo kicked Seohyun's back lightly, but she just continued. "She died in a car accident. A ghost with amnesia. Unbelievable is the right word, Wooyoung."

"Woah. She sounds familiar though..." Wooyoung looked towards Hongjoong who shook his head. Seohyun noticed but didn't comment on it.

"So you're waiting for her to remember so she can move on?" Hongjoong asked.

"Yeah. She's been sticking with me for months now, and I got used to her."

"Ah... that's understandable," Hongjoong looked at his wristwatch, "Anyways, we should go home now. it's late."

"I thought we were playing truth or dare. This turned into a horror show. How will I sleep at night!" Mingi wailed dramatically, making them laugh. Wooyoung called him 'scaredy cat' and San said, "Like you're one to say."

Seohyun smiled at Jiwoo. This had been an unexpected night, and she had never expected them to believe her and not make fun of her. She looked at the boys, bickering, and smiled at them.

She felt comfortable.

-----------------

The next few days at school had been... annoying, to put it simply.

The boys were very excited at the new discovery about their friend they had made. They simply couldn't contain themselves- save for San, and Seohyun found her patience wearing off day by day.

It wasn't that she was ungrateful for how things had turned out. She simply hadn't expected this sort of a behaviour. Secondly, she did not know how to deal with 7 excited boys who couldn't stop asking her the most stupid of questions.

She had to admit some of the questions did make sense. Like Yeosang asking if a ghost's touch and human's touch was any different. Seohyun shook her head as she thought of how the question had shook her.

"What do you mean?" Seohyun asked.

"Do you feel different when a ghost touches you? Like, Jiwoo. Does her touch feel different than a regular human's?"

Seohyun inhaled sharply as she was reminded of the time she had spent in her music room, laughing, with him, holding his hand, touching-

"I'm sorry, was it a wrong question?" Yeosang finally asked and Seohyun realized she had been staring at him too long.

"Uh, no. I'm sorry I zoned out. I suppose it is- it is a bit different. I don't know how to explain it. It's not... warm."

Seohyun shook her head as she waved off the memory. Another memory made its way....

"This friend of yours, Jiwoo," Hongjoong asked, "is she here right now?"

"She may not find the idea of dying twice appealing," Seohyun muttered.

"What?" Hongjoong furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Now why would a ghost attend school? Surely she doesn't wish to die of boredom. AGAIN."

Hongjoong laughed. "So she's not here? Do you know her full name?"

"Ahn Jiwoo, I think," Seohyun replied. She noticed Hongjoong's eyes gleam as his mind worked.

"How old do you think she is? And can you describe how she looks like?"

"Playing detective, are you?" Seohyun raised her brow.

"Just answer. I may have something."

"Well, she looks our age, maybe a year older, she has an average face, honestly I haven't noticed much. She does have red hair."

Hongjoong nodded slowly, and Seohyun asked when he was going to let her in.

"I'll just check something. If it's true, I'll tell you."

Seohyun shook her head again. She should really be focusing on class. But her mind went back to think of the stupid questions. Yunho had asked if 'ghosts could eat' and when she had replied no, he said he was just wondering if they did eat, did they excrete as well. And if so, was the ghost realm full of-

Shit, she thought as she heard Yunho giggling. "You keep shaking your head. What's wrong?"

"Believe it or not, I was actually thinking about you," Seohyun admitted.

"Oh?" Yunho turned a bit towards her, smirking. "And what scandalous thoughts made you shake your head so much?"

"How in the world could your brain wonder if the ghost realm was full of ghost shit?" Seohyun almost shouted, but clearly she hadn't been quite as well. She earned a warning glance from her teacher and sunk in her chair as Yunho shook with silent laughter.

After the class was over, Hongjoong made his way to Seohyun.

"Is Jiwoo here?" He asked.

"Again, no. Why are you so interested in her?" Seohyun folded her arms and Hongjoong snatched Seonghwa's seat from his spot, sitting near her and placing a book on her desk.

"This is last year's yearbook. We have some photos from an event, and I want you to tell me if you spot Jiwoo."

Seohyun raised her eyebrows. Jiwoo- she could have been a student here?

She supposed it was possible. San turned too, muttering how he can recognize her too, and they flipped the pages, checking each one carefully until finally San pointed at a person and looked at Seohyun, who had paled.

"That's... Jiwoo. How did you know, Hongjoong?"

"I guessed when you told me her name. San told me how she had died of an accident and had amnesia, and I could remember hearing something about a senior here who had died in a car crash. So I put 2 and 2 together and here we are."

"But, this doesn't help much, right? We only know that she was a student here. What's this got to do with how she died, and why she is still here?"

"There were rumours circulating her death," Hongjoong sat back, "Her father was a prisoner falsely accused of some crimes, and she was trying to get justice. I talked to some of my senior friends, who had been her classmates, and they told me that she had started receiving some threats."

"And they must have given all this information to the police too?"

"Yes," Hongjoong nodded, "Now you know her identity. You can talk to her friends, go to her home, and finally help her move on."

San felt his heart sink as he looked at Seohyun. They both were thinking the same thing. Seohyun had grown very attached to her and she did not want to do this. She gulped, and nodded slowly.

"Of course. I guess I should thank you..." As the words left Seohyun's mouth, Hongjoong heard something bitter in her tone.

"Did I do something wrong?" Hongjoong asked, and Seohyun didn't reply, only shook her head no, and San shushed Hongjoong, mouthing that he'd explain later. Seohyun got up abruptly, her bag falling off from the chair. But she didn't hear it. She couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything.

"I need some air," she muttered and rushed out of the classroom, leaving the boys staring.

"Shit," San clicked his tongue, "You did the right thing, Hongjoong, but you have to understand. Jiwoo is her friend. A sister to her. If she moves on... I should go after her."

"Are you sure I did the right thing?" Hongjoong asked him as he gave him space to move. San nodded and went after Seohyun.

"It looks like there's more to the story than she lets on," Yeosang commented. Hongjoong only looked at the door. It did seem like it.

San ran around the 1st floor where their class was, then went downstairs, hoping she was somewhere here. After checking the empty rooms, he went outside, towards the lawn, and found a figure sitting near a tree, staring in the space. He narrowed his eyes, then spotted the cat wandering around her, and his shoulders sank in relief.

He wasn't sure if he was the right person to be there. Surely Seonghwa could comfort her better. Or Yunho. But he was the only one other than Seohyun who would miss Jiwoo. He could relate to her, somewhat. So he decided to sit down beside her.

As he did so, he realized she was shaking. San looked at her worried. "Seohyun? Are you alright?"

Seohyun couldn't breathe. She was having some sort of an attack, like the ones she had about two years ago. She heard San alright, but she was afraid if she spoke, she'd cry.

"Here, have some water," San uncapped the bottle and closed her hand around it, and she managed a sip then handed it back to San.

"This is about Jiwoo, right? She's your friend, and you don't want to let go of her. I understand, Seohyun."

Seohyun sighed, fisting her hands. It wasn't just about her. It was the flood of memories that had come crashing without a warning when she thought of Jiwoo disappearing.

San put his hand on hers, caressing it, hoping it would give her some sort of comfort. He looked at her. All her walls, her strong walls she put around her were breaking down. Her lips were parted and wobbling. She looked like she might cry any second.

"You want to talk about it?" he whispered, and she sighed, nodding, taking deep breaths. She wouldn't cry. Not right now.

"You know it. I have grown attached to Jiwoo. Hell, she practically lives with me. I shouldn't have allowed this in the first place. I knew she was going to move on someday, yet I grew emotionally attached to her. I'm so weak."

"You're strong because you helped her too. She had no memories. How do you think she would have felt if not for you? She couldn't even go to her family or friends. You became that for her."

"I know," Seohyun bit her lip. "It's not just that. It's... I- I had someone. Like her. He and I... We were close. And one day, he was gone-" She bit her lip again, taking a deep breath.

"It's okay. You had no one then, right? You have us now. You have more friends than you could have ever thought of. You're so brave, Seohyun," San said, putting an arm around her shoulder, rubbing her back as he smiled. "You're one of the strongest people I know. We're both going to miss Jiwoo, but we have to help her move on. You don't want her to stay here too long now, do you?

Seohyun shook her head. San smiled again as she looked at him, making her smile a bit too. "There. We'll send her off with a celebration, okay? No more sadness. Okay?"

"Okay," Seohyun smiled. She could do that.

"Let's get back to class," San said, getting up first then helping her up. She dusted off her clothes and they walked in comfortable silence back, though San had to admit he felt weird. His heart... wasn't acting right.

Hongjoong casted a cautious glance at Seohyun as she entered, but she passed a little smile as she settled. Yeosang looked curiously at her, and she made a face.

"Is something bothering you?" Yeosang finally asked. He watched as Seohyun sighed. Sometimes it felt to him like she was carrying the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. Like she would bend under the pressure.

But she was strong too. She passed a little smile and said, "Yes. I'll talk about it later."

Yeosang just nodded, watching her curiously as she stared at her notebook. And then she sat back in her seat, staring at San.

---------------

"You're telling me that I was a student here? That this is a big, big 'coincidence' that you had to transfer, of all the schools in the city, right here?"

"For the hundredth time, Jiwoo, yes. I know you think I transferred here on purpose, that I somehow found about your life and didn't tell you, but believe me, this is a big, big coincidence." Seohyun replied, looking at San for help.

San shrugged, saying, "The way you're always hanging around Seohyun, when do you think she even had the time to plot this?"

Seohyun clapped her hand, smiling approvingly at San. "See? I told you he isn't that dumb. That is a great point, San." She watched as San shook his head, the faintest trace of smile on his lips.

The three of them- with the cat, of course, had this meeting in the same park that Seohyun and San had once teleported in. It had took a few days for Seohyun to finally settle with the fact that yes, Jiwoo was going to move on. But it won't be like before.

Seohyun found herself thinking of that time. The piano. His slender fingers gracefully playing music. His hands guiding hers across the keys. His contagious laugh. His deep eyes, covered by dark tendrils of hair-

"Earth to Seohyun?" Jiwoo was clapping in front of Seohyun now and she blinked. She cast a quick glance at San, who was watching her more confused than curious.

"Yeah. I'm back. What are you planning?"

"I suggested we show her the photo. She might recognize some people from the photo." San said.

"Also, I walked around the school building a few times, and it did feel familiar. I thought it was just because it was a school and schools are, you know, pretty much built the same. But I would have the strongest of headaches when I walked there," Jiwoo admitted.

"A ghost having headaches? Here's something to tell Yunho," Seohyun thought out aloud, "Though one might think that death would relieve you of all worldly headaches..."

"It's probably because of my amnesia. But yeah, San's right. I'll have a look at the photo. I'll come to school tomorrow."

----------

"Wow, that's me," Jiwoo gasped.

"Of course it's you," Seohyun muttered. Jiwoo ignored her and continued to stare at her picture. Seohyun cast a look at the boys. They were watching the book flip pages on its own, their mouths slightly open in surprise.

"She can hear us, right?" Wooyoung asked Seohyun, who wanted to make fun of Wooyoung but wasn't quite in the mood. She was more busy thinking if Jiwoo would indeed remember something.

"Come closer, Jongho. We're still in class, no one should see the book moving on its own," Mingi motioned with his hand.

"No one is looking unless you start acting weird," Yeosang commented.

"I'm having the worst headache right now. Is this normal?" Jiwoo asked.

"You're a ghost, unnie. Nothing's normal about you."

Jiwoo tsk-ed at her and then looked at Hongjoong. "He should know something about where exactly I died. If it was an accident, I might be able to remember something."

"Not sure if that would work," Seohyun's mood was very gloomy. San shook his head at her, and she sighed before asking Hongjoong if he knew something about where she had died.

Hongjoong, to Seohyun's dismay, said he'd find out in a minute. It looked like he texted one of his friends, and while they were waiting for an answer, San told the boys what was happening just so they would stop asking after each second.

Seohyun caught Hongjoong glancing at her, as if trying to convey a message. Seohyun understood and casually checked her phone, indeed finding a text from Hongjoong, which read:

There's a possibility that her death might not have been an accident

Seohyun frowned. Was she murdered? Or did she commit suicide? She felt as if it would hurt Jiwoo no matter the answer.

What do you mean?

Hongjoong replied:

I'll tell you later.

With that, Hongjoong told Seohyun out loud that his friend would have to ask around for the address, and that settled it. Jiwoo announced that she was gonna roam around the school again, and maybe that would make her remember something too. She asked San to remind Hongjoong to find out her home address too. That would certainly spark a bulb, if nothing else.

As soon as Jiwoo walked out of their classroom, Hongjoong brought everyone closer. "My friend gave me the address. It's near a restaurant here."

"Why didn't you tell Jiwoo?" San asked.

"When Jiwoo passed away, her friends were told that it was an accident. But according to my sources, they say she was out with some of her friends. They had somehow gotten in an argument, causing her to flee and accidentally crash with a car."

"So it is an accident, right?" Seonghwa asked.

"That's the thing. Some people say that one of them pushed her in front of the traffic, and that they are all covering it up. We have got to find out what happened. Before we tell Jiwoo."

Seohyun pursed her lips. This is not how she thought it would have turned out. Sure, most of the ghosts she dealt with had usually been murdered. But that didn't make hearing any of this easier.

"Alright, we will find out. We need to distract Jiwoo. San, you'll help me out, right?"

"Of course," San said, sitting straighter. Seohyun laid out their plan; they were gonna divide into two. San, Wooyoung, Yeosang and Jongho would lead Jiwoo to a false address, somewhere far from where the rest of them were going to go and actually investigate what really happened. If she had died in a car crash, however that happened, the people around would remember and would be able to recall the incident.

After school, they told Jiwoo that she would go with San to check if that was the right place, since Hongjoong's source could be 'unreliable'. Meanwhile the rest of them were going to find out her home address by asking around. Jiwoo didn't suspect them thankfully, and gladly went along with them.

"I have the home address too," Hongjoong said, "It's on the way to the restaurant. We should pass by there too."

"Yeah," Seohyun muttered. "Do you think I should talk to her family too?"

"I think you should, but after we visit the restaurant. That would certainly give us more information. because all you have now is nothing about the real Jiwoo."

"Point." Seohyun thought it was kind of ironic. She knew nothing about how Jiwoo would have been when alive. The thought of it made her heart twist with pain.

As they walked to the site, Seohyun was so lost in thought that she didn't see the rest of them exchange nervous glances. They all realized that Jiwoo had been her only friend for a good while. And they could definitely see how difficult it was for Seohyun to let her go.

"Can I ask you something?" Seonghwa finally said.

"Whenever someone asks me if they can ask me something, it's usually going to be something about my personal life. Go ahead, shoot."

Seonghwa shook his head. "How many ghosts friends did you have to let go of?"

Seohyun stopped in her tracks. It took her a second before she started walking again. "That is a very good question, Seonghwa."

Mingi and Yunho exchanged looks. They knew she always made remarks like these when trying to avoid something. "Jiwoo has been your friend for a few months. It must be hard for you."

"It is, actually," Seohyun admitted. "And most of my friends, sadly, have been ghosts. They're a better company. I sharpen my dark humor on them. I make a lot of dead jokes, if you haven't noticed that already."

"I did," Mingi raised his hand, smiling sheepishly. "Knowing you can actually see ghosts makes them more funnier."

"I know," Seohyun smiled back.

They finally reached the restaurant. It was a traditional one, with tables set outside as well as inside. Potted plants made for most of the décor, a stark contrast to the mauve and white theme, and the scent of spices filled the air.

Seohyun's eyes traced what could have been a possible path; Jiwoo walking out of the door, a car speeding forward-

"How do you suppose we're gonna find some information? We can't just go and ask them to show us the CCTV footage or something," Yunho said, looking pointedly at the camera.

"We won't have to," Hongjoong said, "We just have to make up a good story. Come on, we're eating something from here."

"Really, Hongjoong? Do you think we have the time?" Seohyun asked.

"Trust me. Come on," Hongjoong said, not waiting for them and walking inside. They seated themselves in the corner, and a waiter came to take their order. After ordering some barbeque, Hongjoong told them that he was going to ask for water while they would be in the middle of eating, and they would start talking about the incident. When the waiter comes, he would hear them talk about it, and provide his comments on the topic without asking.

"If I was the waiter, I'd kick you out," Seohyun said, sitting back and folding her arms, making the rest of them snicker.

"This works every time," Hongjoong said, his eyes glinting with challenge, as he mirrored Seohyun's pose.

"And what if he doesn't talk?" Seohyun asked.

"In that case, I have a backup plan. I don't come unprepared." Hongjoong said, and Seohyun rolled her eyes, looking at Yunho who was sitting beside her.

"Is he always this confident about himself?" She asked.

"When he's sure, yes," Yunho nodded.

"Don't tell me he's a secret investigator or detective or something," Seohyun muttered.

"I could make some similar assumptions about you," Hongjoong muttered back.

"Shut up, blueberry."

"You should, you old-"

"Just because I have grey hair doesn't mean I'm old-"

"Stop it, you both," Seonghwa laughed. Hongjoong pouted. "But do you dye your hair?"

"Yeah. Some years ago I went blonde. Now I prefer the more... dead tones, if you will," Seohyun said, and Mingi grinned. "How's the drum learning going, Mingi?"

"Ah," Mingi sighed, "I still make do with boxes and plates. I think I could do a good freestyle if I had an actual drum set."

"I used to air drum all the time. You should drum along to some songs you like. Really helps."

"I'll try that," he smiled.

"When do you think you're showing us your music room?" Hongjoong asked.

"Not anytime soon," Seohyun said. Before Hongjoong could ask something, they saw the waiter come with their food. Hongjoong muttered ''play along' and started speaking.

"I've been wanting to try this place for a while now. But I heard there was some sort of accident here, so I couldn't come." Hongjoong widened his eyes in signal and Yunho began, "Oh I've tried, and I'll tell you, it's really good."

The waiter set their food, and Seohyun watched Hongjoong and Yunho go on about the restaurant, slightly amused. As soon as the waiter went, Hongjoong frowned at them.

"The three of you could have said something."

"This seemed more natural," Seohyun said. "Two guys raving about food. Nothing suspicious about that."

After a few bites of the amazingly juicy barbeque beef, Mingi asked for water. Hongjoong cleared his throat.

"I heard a girl died somewhere around here. They're saying it could be murder. People these days!"

"I'll tell you, sir," the waiter, a middle aged man with wrinkles around his eyes began, surprising Seohyun, "it was an accident. A bunch of students. The usual crowd. Had an argument and the girl went out in a rush- nobody followed. A few seconds later, we heard a horrible sound and screams. The people out there witnessed it."

"But why would people say she was pushed?" Seonghwa asked.

"People make all sorts of stories, girl," the man said, shaking his head in disapproval. "I was inside. I know none of the friends went after her. The crowd outside was too absorbed with their food. Nobody saw anything until the crash happened."

"Ah.. I see. So I guess since this was an accident, the matter cleared up quickly? With the police and all?"

"Of course," the man said, "they saw the footage. Nobody pushed her. A pity that people had to spread rumors like that. Didn't help us. Nobody came here for days."

"I'm sorry that happened," Yunho said, and Seohyun felt that he actually meant it. "I hope more people are coming here now, for the food."

"Oh we're getting back now. Enjoy," the man smiled at them and went away. They all looked at each other.

"So it's an accident. But this doesn't make sense," Seohyun said, "if she died because of her own mistake, why is she still hanging around?"

"Unfinished business?" Mingi suggested.

"Usually happens when someone is killed, but yeah. She must have made it to the hospital and lost her memories during treatment. That must mean she's holding a grudge, or actually has something so important to do that despite her memories being lost, somehow she stuck to this world."

"That makes sense," Yunho said.

They finished the food lost in thoughts, and decided that is that was the case, it was wiser to not talk to her family. She could be holding a grudge against them too.

Though they now knew how Jiwoo had died, and they were one step closer to sorting this all out, Seohyun felt dread creeping upon her.

-------------

"I can't believe you sent me to the wrong address!" Jiwoo exclaimed.

"It wasn't on purpose! Hongjoong's friend confused you with someone else. It seems like he deals with this kind of stuff often," Seohyun was nodding her head along, as if that could convince Jiwoo. "And anyway, at least it wasn't all a waste. We're going to the place where you died, are you sure you're ready?"

"Born ready," Jiwoo said, pumping her fist in the air.

"Born ready but-"

"Don't, Seohyun, just don't" San cut her off, shaking his head. Jiwoo laughed. Seohyun pouted but stopped.

The three of them were going to the place where Jiwoo had her accident. It was only yesterday that Seohyun had come with Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho and Mingi, and had falsely led Jiwoo to someplace else with the rest of the boys. Now, upon constant insistence of Jiwoo, the two of them decided they'd better take her.

It wasn't because Jiwoo threatened to summon a bunch of revengeful ghosts. Nope. It certainly hadn't been that.

"We're close now," San said, pointing ahead, "It's right across the road. You should start looking on your own now. Without distractions."

"Don't look at me, San," Seohyun muttered.

"You're right. You both can... wait for me here. I'll see if it rocks a memory," Jiwoo said, and went ahead, leaving the two of them watching her go.

"Do you think we should be there for her?" Seohyun finally asked, "The memories might be painful."

"I think she should just walk down memory lane. We'd only distract her. Going on her own is sure to bring back some memories."

"I still wonder what made her stay," Seohyun said, and San looked at her. It was one of those moments when she was not wearing a filter. San felt like he was intruding- it was rare to see her so... present. There.

"Have you dealt with many murder cases? Or suicide ones?" San finally asked.

"You think it's one of the two?" She asked.

"I think it could be something simple. I know if I died today, the only reason I'd hang here would be to say a final goodbye. That is, if I die suddenly."

"Believe it or not, those are the hardest," Seohyun turned towards San, "With other cases, it's usually finding justice, or personal satisfaction. But goodbyes are difficult. I wouldn't want that for anyone. It's harder for those who are living."

San narrowed his eyes at her for the briefest moment. It felt like sometimes she meant more with what she spoke. Like there was a backstory he did not know.

"It looks like you've had some experience with that," San asked cautiously. Seohyun bit her lip and he saw the slightest of tremble in her hand before she closed them in a fist. She was suddenly reminded of San's hand on hers comforting her.

"You're right, actually," Seohyun finally said, surprising San, "I'll tell you. I need to move on too."

"You don't have to," San assured, but she shook her head.

"His name was Joon Hyuk. It was two years ago. He and I used to go to the same music academy. We were only friends then, not close, until he passed away suddenly. He had a heart problem."

"I'm sorry to hear that," San said. He truly was. He couldn't imagine how he'd cope if one of his friends met the same fate.

"I was shook, but that wasn't the end of the story. He was hanging on because he wanted to say goodbye to his family. It took him a few days, and I helped him come to terms with his death. That's when we grew close. I used to be home alone, and we'd just sit in the music room and talk all night. He told me all about his life. I told him about mine. He taught me to play the piano." Seohyun shivered a bit but continued. "He said his goodbye, but he still didn't move on."

"Does that usually happen?" San asked.

"No. It was because he found something to stay for. Me."

The breeze made San shiver too as it settled in. His heart twisted with emotions he couldn't recognize. He wanted to comfort Seohyun somehow, but he stood frozen.

"Ironic, isn't it? He found something to live for when he had already died." Seohyun's lips quivered. She stared at the light bulb near her, hoping it would force back her incoming tears. This wasn't the time to cry. She looked at San and smiled, "I knew it was wrong. But I was so alone. I craved friendship. I craved love. And I got it for a while. It was short. He started to change. You remember the old man?"

San nodded. The man because of whom he could now see ghosts too.

"It's like the process sped up. He started to become bitter. It would come and go. When he was sane, I finally told him to move on before he became- that, before I had to force myself to send him away. And he did. Without a goodbye this time. I guess that was the only way he could manage it."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Seohyun. I-"

San wanted to say so much but they heard a scream which was unmistakably Jiwoo's, and with a look at each other, they rushed to the source of the sound. They found Jiwoo clutching at her head, down on the ground

Seohyun rushed to her, sitting down and hugging her, muttering comforting stuff that San couldn't make out. He just stood and provided cover, hoping no one would notice Seohyun hugging the air.

It took a few seconds for Jiwoo to calm down, and when she did, she sighed loudly, looking at the sun.

"It's coming back," she announced. "I remember how I died. My own fault. How dumb is that?" She laughed.

"Glad to see you're back in your spirits," San scoffed.

"You, boy, have been making unintentional puns," Jiwoo scoffed back, making Seohyun grin.

"So how much do you remember?"

"It's coming back. You guys should go your own way. I'll just wait for it to come back. I think I know where to go too. I remember my home. I think- I think I know why I'm here too."

Seohyun and San shared a look. "You wanna tell us?"

"I gotta check something first," Jiwoo said, getting up and helping Seohyun up too. "Off you go."

"Weirdo," Seohyun muttered and Jiwoo just waved at her before she started walking. Seohyun was resting her hands on her hips, tapping her jeans, watching her go with a frown.

"IF YOU MOVE ON WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE I'LL HUNT YOU EVEN IN THE AFTERLIFE OR WHEREVER IS IT THAT YOU GHOSTS GO!" Seohyun shouted at Jiwoo, startling San and the couple walking past.

"YOU BETTER HOLD A FREAKING FAREWELL PARTY THEN!" Jiwoo shouted back. Before Seohyun could retort, San took her by the arm and dragged her in the opposite direction, laughing and telling her she should stop before the whole neighbourhood comes out.

"I'll walk you home," San said. He wasn't sure if now was the time to leave Seohyun alone.

"If you insist," Seohyun said, and they walked in silence. San wanted to say something about how she had been wise to send Joon Hyuk off, something to comfort her, but he couldn't find the words. He was sure Seohyun would be too busy thinking about Jiwoo. He decided he'd walk in silence and let her sort her thoughts.

When they finally reached her home, Seohyun looked at San. "You wanna stop for some coffee? Maybe a snack?"

"Oh no, don't bother," San waved her off.

"I have chocolate chip cookies," Seohyun wiggled her eyebrows.

"That's not fair. Lead the way," he said, and Seohyun smiled in victory, letting him in.

Though the house looked plain from the outside, it wasn't such inside. It was well decorated, the brown and white reflecting the walls and the floor, and had an overall homey feel. Plus, it was quite spacious. No wonder she had a music room here.

San sat on the table in the kitchen, looking around while Seohyun made two cups of coffee. The refrigerator had fruit magnets with various lists sticking. Grocery, things to do. Doodles. San smiled. It really did look like Seohyun lived here. His eyes fell on her figure as she rocked back and forth, mixing the coffee. Her hair created quite a contrast with her navy blue shirt. The soft grey hair looked fluffy.

Seohyun turned around, catching San staring at her, and he shifted in his seat as Seohyun set the two cups and the cookies. San took one and bit into it.

"Oomph, that's delicious."

"Thank you. I made them."

"No way!" San was genuinely surprised. "I didn't know you liked baking."

"I like making food," Seohyun admitted, sipping the coffee.

"That sounds so mundane now," San laughed.

"What do you think I did at home? Made talismans?" Seohyun scoffed and San almost choked on his coffee.

"You surprise me everyday, Seohyun. We must look quite boring to you," San said.

"Well," Seohyun munched on the cookie, "You aren't boring. None of you are, actually. Why don't you tell me something I don't know about you then?"

"Well," San imitated Seohyun now, "I collect plushies. And I know taekwondo."

"That's... interesting. Taekwondo and plushies. Wow," Seohyun laughed. "Poor Shiber, I guess."

"HEY!" San frowned. "Your turn."

"I didn't realize we were taking turns?" Seohyun raised her brow but thought about it. "My favourite colour is blue."

"Mine's purple," San said. "I hate vegetables."

"Hard not to notice," Seohyun commented, biting into the cookie and thinking. "I want to be a musician."

"Cool. You can compose for us," San smiled and Seohyun smiled back mockingly.

A thought struck her. "Wanna see the music room?"

San raised his brows. "Can I?"

"If you want to?" Seohyun shrugged. "It's okay. That room needs air anyway."

"Alright then," San finished his coffee. Seohyun got up, her heart thumping. She was right. It was about time she opened that room for someone else. About time she let go too.

"Here we are," she said and fished out keys from her pocket (San thought she must carry them everywhere) and opened the room, turning on the light

It was gorgeous, San thought. A piano in the corner, a drum set in the other, couches as they entered, three different guitars hanging by the wall, a violin case resting on the table. The dim white lights made everything seem a bit eerie, but it smelled like roses, and indeed San noticed a scented candle on the table. It felt like a room full of memories.

"I do come in every now and then, but I don't really play anymore." Seohyun looked around.

"Can I see them?" San asked, and Seohyun nodded.

Seohyun watched as San examined the guitars then walked to the piano, running his fingers on the keys and making some sounds, then off to the drum set.

"I'd pay to see you play," he grinned.

"Oh you won't have to. I'll do that for free one day," Seohyun smiled.

"So you don't play anything anymore?"

"Just the violin sometimes. Or drums when I'm angry."

"Can I hear the violin?" San asked and Seohyun looked at him.

"Pretty please?" He made puppy eyes and Seohyun scoffed. "Now how do I reject that?"

Seohyun opened the violin case, saying something about how it's gonna be short. While she tested the strings and the bow, San sat on the piano stool nearby. Seohyun flipped her hair back and inhaled.

And then she played a tune so melodic, a tune so haunting that San wasn't sure if seconds had passed or minutes. He only saw her face, etched with the most emotions he'd seen on a single person. It was as if she was telling him a secret, baring her soul to him, and he just couldn't decipher it.

When she did stop, San felt short of breath. He just stared at her in awe and she came closer, already having put the violin back. "How was it?"

"That was... breathtakingly beautiful. You were amazing," San said and immediately felt like he should have said something more.

But she seemed to understand. "Thank you," she said. She was leaning against the piano. San got up and came closer.

"Thank you, Seohyun," he said, touching the tendrils of hair that fell on her shoulder, "For everything."

"I- I've done nothing," she almost whispered. San locked eyes with her, still playing with her hair, now his thumb caressing the soft skin of her cheek.

Seohyun stared back at the dark orbs, his gaze so sharp that a part of her wanted to run away but the other part wanted to never look away. San blinked once, then slowly, painfully slowly brought his face closer and kissed her cheek lightly, leaving her out of breath.

Thank you for playing for me," San said, "I'll never forget it."

And then he drew back, and Seohyun came out of the trance.

"If you sugar coat it so much I'll never bring you here again," Seohyun was smiling.

"Nah. Now I'll wait for the day you're angry," San winked, pointing at the drums. "I should give pointers to Mingi."

"HEY!"

prev - next

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Fourth Letter

-----------------

To: Wen Junhui

From: Y/N

Jun, how are you doing lately?

I'm always wondering that now that you're gone. I want to text you or call you but it'll be awkward since before you left, we decided to break up. I want to call and hear your voice, laugh at your jokes, I miss it all.

I'm sure it's better for the both of us that we cut off contact, but how can I forget you, my first boyfriend that I'm still in love with? I think you're the first person I've ever loved so deeply like this. I know that I'm in love with you.

During the little over half a year that we dated, I learned so many things about love. It was phenomenal, beautiful, and such a good feeling.

I'm always wondering, if we weren't teens in high school, if we were adults, would our relationship be different? Would we have ended differently? Because if we were adults, maybe you wouldn't have to leave back to China. Even now, I'm wondering, in the future, can we cross paths again? Give our love another chance?

But I know that by that time, we would be completely different people and maybe not even attracted to each other anymore. Who knows, you may find someone in China that you love better than me.

If you didn't have to go, maybe we could have had a longer relationship. Why must we have to be apart when we're so in love? You're my first boyfriend ever and I can't be more grateful to you. You were the best first boyfriend I could ever ask for.

This letter to you, it's not a confession, only a little bit. I just want to write this letter to remember you, my first boyfriend, and thank you now that it would be too awkward to do it over text or call.

You're my first boyfriend and when you came into my life, it felt like someone above heard my prayers. At that time when you slipped into my life, I'll confess that I was trying to fall out of love with someone else. Thanks to you, I was able to do that.

Should we both thank Mr. Koo for pairing us up for the 2-month project? I mean, thanks to him, I was able to fall in love with someone like you.

I remember how awkward it was for both of us introverts to speak with each other. You introduced yourself and I introduced myself and then we didn't talk for like five minutes. I still remember how heavily my heart pounded while waiting for you to speak. To this day, I don't know why you giggled first, but it was attractive and cute. Maybe I'm just so madly in love with you that I find your everything to be perfect and cute.

When we began talking to each other, I was surprised at how unique you were. Trust me, Junhui, you're nothing like anyone I've met before. Out of the guys I've ever met, you're the weirdest! But that's a good thing, because of that charm, I fell even harder for you. It's your charm, Jun.

It was just your way of thinking that was unique. You were able to come up with the most unique jokes I've ever heard and your humor always cracked me up as well. I still remember that first day when we were working on the project, you drew a small sun with a smiley face at the corner of my paper. It was so cute.

Soon, I realized that most of the time during class, we were just busy joking with each other and wasting time. You shared stories about your little brother and always made me laugh somehow. Each time I laughed because of you, my heart fluttered. Each time you laughed because of me, I would feel a rush of excitement and my heart would be pounding so fast.

When you started coming over to my house to work in hopes of getting more progress, that's when our relationship progressed. It was weird to have you around at my house because we just talked so much instead of getting work done. Sometimes, the responsibility would hit me and I would remind us to get to work, in which you would chuckle and reply, “Oh right, what are we doing, fooling around?”

Every time you said something along those lines, it made me smile because you were just so cute. I was slowly drowning myself into your charms. This unique personality of yours was drawing me in.

Aside from your dorkiness, when you get to work, you work hard. Sometimes I was distracted by how you looked when you were focused.

Thank you for asking me out that day at the bus stop. I was sending you home. I know I told you it was because I felt bad for leaving you alone and it really was because I felt bad, but it was also because I wanted to be around you longer.

When we reached the empty bus stop and you waited for the bus, you told me after some hesitation, abruptly, while chuckling softly, “I like you, Y/N. Should we date?”

At that time, my heart and mind were racing, that's why I replied stupidly to your confession and said “Isn't it too fast...?”

Gosh, I was so dumb! It wasn't fast at all and the pace was actually good. We took two weeks getting to know each other, it was about time that you asked me out, right? I mean, I liked you back then too, so I hope you don't think those dates we went on captured my heart because that's not the case at all! I've liked you before your confession.

However, thanks to my dumb reply, you took me on many dates. It was my first time going on dates like that with just one other person. A date like the ones in the movies.

The first date being at the carnival that was open in town. I had so much fun there! Plus, I still have that photo of us with the face paint in my photo gallery. I don't want to delete it because it holds so many memories. Maybe someday, I'll print our couple pictures and tape them on the back of this letter. Plus, the cat ears looked so cute on us.

For the first time, I felt like I was on a real date, and it was with you. I'm grateful that I was able to participate in so many different games with you. I still have the small duck you won for me. Those games are all a total scam but you still insisted and managed to win it for me. At that moment, I felt your sincerity at the bottom of my heart.

I also remember our date at the PC cafe. Gosh, you have the weirdest taste in games, you know that!? Usually, men like playing shooter games but you and I trained a cat to fly and had multiple races. The loser would then have to get a flick on the forehead, even though we both went easy on each other. That brought me a lot of joy too even though it was simple.

For our last date, before we started dating, I just want to confess, I lied about being able to stay out late. My dad didn't figure out I was with you though. I just really wanted to see the movie so I went to watch it with you. That was the location of our first kiss together.

After the movie, I was stretching my back outside the movie theatre. I don't know what you were looking at but if you were looking at me, I'm sorry I looked so ugly while stretching. It was almost 9 PM, two hours past the time I can stay out.

I can remember the scene clearly. I was just about to tie my hair while talking about the movie when you suddenly took my face with your cold hands and kissed me with your warm lips. Your hand on my warm neck was sending chills down my spine. I still didn't know how to kiss then and just going with the flow, I found myself enjoying kissing you a lot. My heart was racing and I remember how hard I clenched onto your khaki jacket. I'm giggling now thinking about it.

I did learn how to kiss better because of you though, Jun. After we started dating, sometimes when my dad left to get us some fruit, you would sneak some kisses onto my lips in the meanwhile instead of working. You're so playful too. Playful and sweet.

Sometimes, you don't know how much you mean to me, Jun. I mean, I'm still a bit upset that you didn't tell me you were moving back to China in the middle of summer break. However, I'm glad that you told me before you moved and just didn't disappear suddenly. Because you told me, I could love you with all of my teenage heart and give you all of me. I was able to convince my father to allow me to spend more hours with you, whether it was goofing around, working hard, or just kissing and hugging. Thank you for that, because I was able to prepare myself. I loved it whenever we were just sitting, our legs crisscrossed, and my arms around your neck with your hands clasped around my waist while we kissed sweetly.

I also love your hair, Jun. It was so soft and flowy that I could ruffle it all day. Your hand too, whenever they clasped with mine, I would always feel a sense of warmth.

When the move ticked closer, I was beginning to grow more nervous. I didn't want you to leave but I knew it wasn't your choice. Did you dread the day as well?

I wonder if we could have broken that long-distance relationship curse. We loved each other after all. I thought that I would be able to handle it as long as I could still hear your voice and text you. I thought long and hard about it, wondering if a breakup was necessary. But then, without even trying, I know that we will eventually drift apart. We're still teens and it's my first time having a boyfriend, how was I supposed to know what to do?

I remember the day before you left, you told me that you loved me and that you were sorry that all you could give me was memories. I'm still believing that every word you said was genuine.

You cared for me when I was sick. I remember how you rushed to check up on me after school when you heard that I was absent because I was sick. Most of the time I was sleeping but I can still remember how gently you caressed my hair and stroked my cheeks.

You showed me unconditional love, even when I was telling you that I wasn't proud of myself. You cheered me on with your bright personality.

I'm glad I said those words too. “I love you.”

Even though we may just seem like kids to others, I truly loved you, Junhui. The day when we broke up at the airport, I did not want you to see me cry. You always told me to cry if I wanted to but I didn't want you to see me cry.

When you said “Well, I guess that's it for us. Thank you, Y/N, for being mine for a while. I love you a lot and I'll always treasure the memories we made” as you left, waving and smiling painfully, I was going to cry, but I just smiled and waved after telling you that I loved you too and that this breakup was unfortunate.

When you stopped your suitcase and ran back to me one more time to hug me, I was about to burst into tears. You said your final goodbye and then went back to your suitcase. To be honest, I wanted to hold you longer. I didn't want you to leave, I wanted to hold you back so that you could stay with me.

After you left, I ran into my dad's car and cried.

I cried a lot and my dad didn't even do anything to stop me. He knew you were my first boyfriend and having to end my relationship with you so sadly made his heart ache too I bet. I'm glad my dad let me cry though. I think he understood what I was going through.

I miss you a lot, Jun. I still think about you a lot. Sometimes I look back on the place where we worked on our project and I can almost see the scenes of us sitting there, laughing, talking, hugging, cuddling, kissing. I was really sad after you left. I'm still getting over it. I'm still remembering when I wake up some days and realize that you're not here with me anymore and that you're in a different time zone, a different country, a different place.

A month has passed since you left. I have a month of summer left to spend to move on.

I hope you're having a good time, staying healthy, being happy where you belong. I will always remember you. I don't want to forget you, Junhui. You mean a lot to me.

I miss you, Jun. I'm thankful to you too.

I love you, Jun.

If only we fell in love at a different time, perhaps in the future when we are adults, capable of our emotions, capable of thinking, capable of our own lives, capable of loving. If you didn't have to move... If you didn't have to leave... I'm sure I'd still have you beside me. Yet, I can't even tell what the present holds, who am I to assume the future?

All I can do is reminisce now. I really miss you, Jun. I'll move on soon enough. Are you trying to move on too? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?

If only we were given more time.

Yours truly,

Y/N

-----------------

© serenityseventeen

6/20/21 - 1:03 am

a/n: I listened to ‘Silent Boarding Gate’ while making this one because that song is so beautiful and just makes me feel like I'm reminiscing about a past love that is now gone. I almost cry every time. It's such a beautiful song, guys...

[thegracelessfaceless]

Needy Entry # 9: Steven With a V

I found a kitten today and named him Steven 🔪

And then I showed him that Steven was a girl 💖

So her full name is Steven with a V. Get it? 🔪

🤦‍♀️💖

Anyway, Steven is white with blue eyes, just like me. I really think she's albino, sweetcheeks. This is her, by the way🔪

Well we're taking her to the vet tomorrow so she can have a full check up. Maybe the vet will know more. So, honeydew, are you going to tell them about finding Steven? 💖

Look at her, isn't she stunning? Legion, you guys are going to love this! So ya know how I go running in the cemetery every morning? Well there's this little chapel that's open air with a roof. I guess it's for funeral services or memorials when people get their folks cremated? Or maybe some weird church services? I dunno 🤔. Sorry, I'm getting off topic. Help me stay on track, baby. 🔪

'Kay, hun 💖

Sooooooo this chapel is made out of cinder blocks and concrete floors and it's painted white. I'm guessing Grace told you all about how I drink a lot of water, and my bladder was about to burst. Luckily, I have a dick so, I just whipped it out and was watering the foundation of the chapel, like one does. Did you guys know I don't have to hold it when I pee? I can just flop- 🔪

Jeff! Back on topic, please!

😅 anyway as I'm finishing up, I hear this tiny little noise behind me and track it down to a hole in the wall where some bricks came out or something. So I shine my phone light in there and find this adorable little ball of fluff cowering back from my hand against the back wall. Scratched the hell out of my hand, but I got her. Grace made her chicken nuggets since her cats wouldn't share the cat food. I don't really like the idea of her eating that processed roadkill kibble anyway, what about you, babe? 🔪

I love Stevie just as much as you do, chére, but ultimately she's your baby. You get to decide what she eats and doesn't eat. Ira won't eat people food at all and you know Smokey will break into anything. I'm just glad the apartment is enormous 💖

I think I'm gonna be a great cat daddy. You're already a great mom to your crew. Maybe you could coparent with me, Bliss? 🔪

😊 I'd be honored 💖

[chromehevrts]

                                         𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖

                                           𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝: 𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓

𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐈 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 : hey, what's up everybody, we live baby, HOT 97 THE GATTI SHOW, and today we have a very special guest in the building, DAVE EAST. how you doing today, DAVE?

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 : Ayo...what's good ya'll and Im doing alright, how you been? Thanks for having me.

𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐈 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 : i'm feeling great and super excited to have you here today, so thank you for stopping by. i always wanted to have you as the guest at my show because hey, it's NEW-YORK baby and let's face facts, you're one of those new school artists who represents NY. at what age you've figured out you want to do music?

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 : Shit, honestly music was a last resort for me. I went to college and tried to play ball, but shit ain't go how i want. So I sat down and was like shit, what else can I do and niggas was like rap. So I was like aigh, I took on the name rebel and started to push my pen at like 18 or suttin.. So it was either do music and make something outta myself or trap. I went with music, cause shit i had a backup plan if that shit aint work.

𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐈 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 : i'm sorry it didn't really go as you planned it with basketball, but UNIVERSE had some other plans for you. i think young people should look up at you, like hey, things might not go the way you want them to be, so you have to dust yourself and try again or find something even better. like you did. what inspires you when you write your lyrics? or it's more a freestyle like process?

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 : Shit, I mean life inspires me... like the shit that goes on around me and my niggas inspire me. I shit I do a little of both, I can freestyle but half the time I like to sit down, smoke and get what i gots to say on paper. I be in the studio from 8pm to 4am mostly every night. But back to what you was saying, when you come from a struggle you gonna do what you gotta do to make it, like I was watching niggas I played ball with get drafted into the NBA. That shit is what motivated me to do something. I ain't want to be the failure watching these niggas living they best life.

𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐈 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 : when people scroll through social media, they think all the diamond chains and fancy cars come easy, as if the famous card is unlimited credit card and you don't have do anything for it. no one really thinks about how much you put into work, staying in the studio all night long, tours, shows. i'll have a nerve to compare music industry, and show business in general, with a basketball court. either you sweat and play, or, sit your ass on the bench. and music is not the only thing you do, you're also a business owner and now, a reality tv-show star. hello cast mate, how ya doiiin'? but hey, CONCRETE JUNGLE baby. how did you came up with an idea that you do want to participate in the show?

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 : I mean... the money. I figured since I'm already doing a TV show and this won't mess with that, why not. I got people I need to take of so doing this show is to help them out to at the end of the day. But I have a few business ventures Im into and that I do, so I'm getting checks in multiple areas. You can't depend on making music forever, you don't wanna get burned out like RIHANNA's ass did. Thats something I always tell starting artist. Like ye treat yoself but sure you invest into some shit and build some shit for yourself.

𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐈 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 : and just like that, straight forward and without any fake reasons to get sympathy and attention. DAVE be like yes bitch, it's about the money, so who's going to check me? i love it here. and you are right, once you get your first bag, why not to make more bags out of it? i'm glad you're looking out for the youngsters, but i don't blame them, when you get those figures first it definitely can blow your mind. but let's talk about the show a little bit. are you familiar with other cats mates? do you have any expectations from this project?

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 : I mean I ain't familiar with all them, but I have met a few and they groupies and shit. I don't know, like its still early to tell, but im just tryna have my fans see more of me than they do already. I just hope the show don't edit me too much cause they will notice the difference.

𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐈 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 : since MONA SCOTT has nothing to do with the new production team, let's hope for the best. i'd hate to see some words or actions dragged out of context. okay, moving to the next one. i bet most of the guys would like to know the secret recipe of DAVE EAST's charm, because we all know a lot of ladies consider you as their celebrity crush, along with MICHAEL B JORDAN and ODELL BECKHAM. is there any secret to it and how does it feels to have if not all, then a lot of eyes on you? now i know ladies gonna perk their ears up right now in a hope to hear if they have any chance and what not.

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 : I mean i don’t discriminate so as long as you keep my attention and you cool. You got a chance..and at first the shit felt weird cause i always had some attention on me but to now have woman that look like models be like oh yeah let’s fuck be on me. I ain’t know how to handle it. Then at the same time it’s annoying cause then you get woman that get jealous and mad at me for no reasons.

𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐈 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 : a blessing and a curse at the same time, isn't it? so ladies, respect some boundaries and privacy before showering DAVE with your love. but, let's hop back to the topic of you being on the show. a few days ago there was this shooting at the club where you and other cast members happened to be at. do you have anything to say about it?

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 : I mean i left before the shooting happened cause some nigga and the club discriminated against me. But the shit was wild, i was outside when it first started. I hope everyone but the niggas that tried me is aigh. Fuck them dick succas.

𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐈 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 : well, and you know we on air and our audience is pretty, let's say huge. so if the club attendance will go low out of sudden they better not act surprised because you don't have to discriminate anyone. we're glad you made it out safe. and the final question will be, DAVE EAST and MARION, is it the same person or it's more like alter ego thing, like BEYONCE and SASHA FIERCE?

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 : Nah it’s the same person i don’t do that witch craft ass shit. The niggas that bump my shit wouldn’t be listening to me if i did that shit. You feel me?

𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐈 𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈 : you made it clear as a day. thank you so much for blessing THE GATTI SHOW with your appearance, DAVE. it was really nice to learn a little bit more about you, but is there anything else you'd like to share with your fans, you know, maybe some things to get off your chest?

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 : I said all i had to say, but fuck CAVALI or whatever it called and a nigga named VONTE. But karma 3 comes out august 14th so check that out and look out for the EP i got with my boy millyz coming out too. Peace.

[lovetheplayers]

Taylor's interview with Shannon Burns | CHUM 104.5 (April 30, 2019)

Taylor: Hey, it's Taylor.

Shannon: Hey, how's going?

Taylor: It's going so great. How are you?

Shannon: Good! Thank you so much for this chance to talk to you. It's an honor.

Taylor: Oh my gosh. Thank you for saying that; that's so sweet.

Shannon: Okay, so I want to start off by asking, Reputation--it was so full of, like, angst and snakes and things. What made you decide to go in a whole separate route for this new single?

Taylor: Well, I think I was feeling differently. You know with my albums, they're very reflective of kind of my mood and how I'm feeling and what's going on in my life, and so it's always very reflective of that. And so, yeah, I feel like I'm in a much brighter, more glittery place in life, so that's why the music looks more glittery and bright colors.

Shannon: Can we kind of expect the same kind of theme for the whole album?

Taylor: The album has lots of different kind of emotional tones to it, you know, just in the same way that, like, a person's never going to just be happy all the time. When I make an album it's not ever just going to be a happy album because, you know, we're hopefully complex individuals and as a songwriter you try to reflect that and, you know, I think that with this album it's definitely very—it's got a very diverse emotional spectrum of things that are on the album and that's why it's so hard for me to always pick the first single. Like, that's always the most difficult choice that I face because when the album is such a vast landscape of emotions it's so weird to have to pick one song that represents all of those. That's why it's good that you can put out, you know, a lot of music before an album comes out and kind of give people a taste for what the album actually is.

Shannon: What made you want to go with ME! for the first single then?

Taylor: I wanted to go with ME! for the first single because it's just sort of a celebration and it kind of bursts open this new world that I see as this new album. It's very—it's very flamboyant and colorful and sort of playful and mischievous. Like, it's definitely like a very playful song but at the heart of it... actually I think with a pop song and especially a very catchy pop song... Like, when I wrote it I was like, "Okay that's pretty catchy." So, like, we have an opportunity as writers to say something that other people are going to sing in their head consciously or subconsciously, right? Like, sometimes you don't even mean to have a song stuck in your head. But if you have a song stuck in your head and it's saying, "I'm the only one of me," like, that's kind of like a mantra, so you know I hoped that it would, like, go out into the world and, like, make the world a little bit happier. I don't know.

Shannon: And I definitely think that that song does it. It's perfect for that.

Taylor: Thank you.

Shannon: Yeah, so there's a ridiculous amount of Easter eggs that are in this new video. This isn't a totally new thing for you either but what made you want to start playing that game with fans in the beginning?

Taylor: Well I started doing this when I was about 16 and I put out my first album and put out, you know, the album booklet and I just had this idea where I would capitalize letters and, like, if you put the letters all together they would spell out a code, and I was like, "I wonder if any of the fans will pick up on this?" And they did right away and they loved it and told me that I should do more of that and so it's kind of—it's kind of escalated now to a point where I will plan out a music video months and months and months in advance and think about, like, "What can I drop here, what can I plant here?" And it's the more that they've had fun with it, the more that I've had fun with it because I think it kind of expands a music experience. It kind of makes it more of, like, a visual experience; it's kind of like a brain teaser; Kind of, like, something that makes you think about what you're seeing. It makes you go back and, like, notice the details and so that's kind of why I do it because it also kind of plays into, like, the mischief of this new era of music that I'm trying to put out which is, like, a little bit more playful than last time, you know?

Shannon: Oh totally yeah. I can see that. Is it frustrating watching people guess things online like the album title in the video and then seeing them get it but not being able to just tell them?

Taylor: No, no I—I definitely am going to tell them.

Shannon: Yes, but is it frustrating seeing that they they get it already but you, like, haven't said anything yet?

Taylor: Some of them have gotten it but some of them haven't so it's, um, they're very clever and, like, all their ideas are very well researched and they have a lot of reasons for why they have their theories which I think is great. Like, I'm a big Game of Thrones fan. I have you know, I've had theories going the entire time I've been watching the show and when my theories are proven wrong I'm not, like, disappointed; I just find it fun to have a theory in the first place and to see if it'll happen. But just—you know, just like some of my theories about Game of Thrones have been right, you know, a lot of their theories on the album title have been right. A lot of them will be, like, high-fiving each other when they realize they were right all along.

Shannon: True. I like that. Also, congrats on your new family member.

Taylor: Thank you so much.

Shannon: So you didn't actually plan on adopting him until you met him on set. Is that correct?

Taylor: That is correct, and we actually just put up today—on YouTube we put up this behind the scenes video of me meeting the kitten and, like, I literally meet him—I'm so glad they were filming this; like, I didn't realize there was a behind-the-scenes camera filming the whole time they hand me the kitten. And I fell in love with him immediately because he's so sweet. He loves people and so he just started purring as soon as I, like, held him and he is the sweetest, most loving little cat I've ever met in my whole life.

Shannon: What made you decide to go with the name Benjamin Button?

Taylor: I really liked the movie Benjamin Button. Benjamin Button in the movies is just such a good guy; he's always doing the right thing.

Shannon: That's true, that's very true, yeah. I like that a lot. Okay thank you so much for letting me have the chance to chat with you. I really appreciate it.

Taylor: Thank you so, so, so much. It was great talking to you.

Shannon: Alright have a great day.

Taylor: Have a good day.

[prxncessophelia]

Magdalena Bay /r/Popheads Discord AMA [16/08/2019] Transcript

Q : Did you get your name from this iconic bop? [Sandra : Maria Magdalena]

MB : hahah no, Matt stole it from a literal person named Magdalena Bay // (they called her maggy bay)

Q : whats your biggest influence that sounds nothing like your own music

MB : we love PC Music even though we don't really sound like it

Q : out of everything you’ve made, what song is your all-time fave/which one are you the most proud of?

MB : We think Set Me Off is super underrated, but usually our fave is whatever the newest thing we write is

Q : Did Matt take up that offer at the DMV?

MB : hahaha NO

Q : whats the song you guys most had trouble with?

MB : hmmm probably move slow, we re-did the melody and production a few times before we settled on the disco vibes

Q : What made you guys decide to go for shorter song lengths, or was it somethjng that just happened naturally?

MB : We got tired of waiting so long to release official singles, wanted to do low-pressure quick songs that we could get out to our fans sooner!

Q : So like, where’s Voc pop on Spotify?

MB : hahah does anyone actually like that song?! It was the first pop thing we ever made and it was more of a learning experience for us than an actual song to us

Q : are you planning to tour europe anytime soon?

MB : we'd love to tour just need the right opportunity

Q : what's both of your favourite songs right now? also have you heard any of Caroline Polachek's music

MB : Actually one of our favorite songs right now is Door! Another is Ever Again (Robyn)

Q : one more: do you have any plans for an album in the future? Or are you just going with the flow

MB : yes we have album plans! Maybe next year

Q : Did you have a specific inspiration for Neon's music video, or was it just the whole vaporwave aesthetic in general?

MB : that video we actually didn't do ourselves, we found that archival footage of the couple and had that intro sequence sone but we sent it to our talented friend Matt Lewis who added the whole vaporwave element, we really weren't too aware of that whole world at the time! But it really worked well with Neon

Q : do you like the band Superorganism?

MB : haven't really listened to Superorganism, we'll check them out!

Q : Only thing I don’t like is the redbone cover to be honest with you and I’ve gone through your YouTube and soundcloud

MB : lol we respect that

Q : I really like your Redbone cover! What other songs would you like to cover?

MB : we always struggle to think of covers, was thinking of sourcing suggestions on Instagram so maybe we'll do that soon

Q : What is thr most difficult song of the creative process for you guys, is it, say, the lyrics, the melody, the mixing?

MB : probably lyrics, it's not that it's HARD but I get very particular about it and sometimes a little slow haha - Mica

Q : i just have to say, i think i've streamed your one song Only If You Want It a million times. it's such a bop and i think it's a great song to introduce people to your work. what was your inspiration for that song and the retro style music video?

MB : yes we think OIYWI really encapsulates what we're aiming to do musically, really glad you like it! Spice Girls, specifically Say You'll Be There, was a huge inspo. We really love that video but didn't have a plan for it AT ALL when we filmed all that footage of me with our vhs cam hahah so it was a mess but then we figured out the word art aesthetic and the bugs and it all came together

Q : How does it feel to be the highlight of my terrible day? Because once I saw the tweet I felt quite a bit better, plus my magbae playlist keeps me calm

MB : Thank you!! We made that cover ourselves so means a lot, and there's a little nod to each mini song in it which is fun

Q : have you ever covered songs that you decided against releasing?

MB : yes lol how did you know?? we did really weird attempts at promiscuous girl and rod stewart's if you think i'm sexy that will never see the light of day

Q : https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/264810236500639745/609503125677670418/magdalenabay.gif

MB : love the gif!!

Q : if a blackpink stan is called a blink is a magdalena bay stan called a mabay

MB : we think magbae is a good stan name

Q : what is the best/worst thing you've guys have encountered so far in the music industry??

MB : best/worst thing we've encountered in the music industry: one of the best things is finding our stuff being posted on r/popheads, we used to have to do it ourselves hahah, worst thing is dealing with shady industry people

Q : Any plans for shows in the Los Angeles area by the end of the year?

MB : re LA shows: we're working on it! probably yes

Q : Oh shoot i just thought of a very very improtany question i must know - Simply : Cats or Dogs

MB : DOGS

much later // we like cats too just dogs more :/

Q : Did you start making music for the fun of it, or did you actually have asperations to be famous?

MB : we started making music back in high school in a rock band and it just evolved from there. I (mica) never thought I would really do this until i had to graduate college and was like wait!!! I don't want a real job!! // Matt always knew he wanted to work in music

Q : magdalena bay, how would you guys describe your songwriting process?

MB : it's pretty different for each song, only thing that stays the same is that we write lyrics after melody, not all writers do that! but a song can start with a beat or chords or sometimes melody, from either of us!

Q : ooh I actually have one more question! what song of yours has the most meaning to you? whether it’s bc of the inspiration behind it or something else

MB : probably some of the unreleased stuff, but you'll hear it soon! a song called airplane is prob the most personal to me (mica)

Q : what artist(s) would you collab with, if you could pick any?

MB : soo many but Rina Sawayama is near the top of our list

Q : If you could travel back in time and impart one piece of advise to your early teenage selves, what would it be?

MB : START MAKING POP SOONER

Q : So do you sit down for hours and work on thinking of melodies or do they come to you randomly and you're like "whelp, time to record"

MB : both definitely happen, iphone voice memos are key

Q : Actually I do have a question, if y'all had a bigger budget, what would you be doing differently?

MB : blackpink-level music videos

Q : Favorite video games?

MB : We've just started playing video games and love zelda twilight princess but we're dumb and bad at it and are always stuck lol

Q : there are several users here in popheads who are trying to get into the music industry, if you have one tip you can give them, what would it be?

MB : try to do everything you can yourself- from music production to videos to graphics you will learn a lot and be less reliant on other people!! and you'll save money haha

Q : If yall dont thats chill but if yoy do whats your fav song from blackpink

MB : we like the one that goes dudududu

Q : Were you ever worried about a song with hashtag as a title/lyric? Or were you just that damn confident?

MB : yes we were worried lol

Q : would you play Minecraft

MB : don't know anything about it but matt's little sister plays it so sure

Q : we spoke about artists you'd like to work with so...what producers do you get inspiration from / would like to work with?

MB : definitely ag cook, Sophie, grimes, toro, also get a lot of influence from the classics like max martin, quincy jones, pharell

Q : What's one thing people might be surprised to learn about the both of you, respectively?

MB : Maybe that we started music playing in a progressive rock band (the opposite of pop) also matt is an amazing chef and mica is argentinian??

Q : if there is one, favourite Britney Spears album/song?

MB : BLACKOUT we listen to it every day

Q : is there any of your progressive rock stuff on the internet 🧐

Also: (you may have answered this already, skip if you have lol) why did you guys make such a genre switch?

MB : Yes but we're not gonna link hahah, and we started making pop because we were at school in different cities and pop is easier to make long distance.... didn't know we'd fall in love with making it! Also mica discovered art angels around that time and that was that

Q : will you continue to be in the server and chat with us? we enjoy having you and hope you'll stick around

MB : thank you!! @hals#0013 yes we'll be around

Q : what do yall liste to outside of pop

MB : NOTHING and with that, goodbye! :heart: :heart: :heart: thanks again!!