#*putting all the characters in a box* I love these weirdos so much

[loregoddess]

damn I knew the Nibelheim section was gonna be kinda sad, but did the devs really, really have to go and make it sadder?

[rbbrbikerthorp]

A New Neighbour Moves In

[Please note: all characters are 18 plus and any reference to boy or girl is purely descriptive or used in dialogue between the characters.]

Mitchell was living the life much like any typical 23 year old male would. He’d graduated university, he had started his career in recruitment for legal and financial services and was starting to earn good monthly commissions on top of his basic salary. He’d used all the money inherited from his grandparents to buy a 1-bedroom flat in a new development, just on the edge of the city centre. Mitchell didn’t have a steady girlfriend – he wasn’t in a long-term relationship place. As he told his mates at the gym, he was a ‘date them and ditch them’ once he’d managed to ‘get them in the sack’ kind of bloke.

It was a Monday morning and Mitchell needed to get to work. First, he had to navigate his way carefully out of the flat where he’d been invited to spend the night. The girl he’d met in the club the previous evening had taken a shine to his blue eyes, rugby toned body and wavy blonde hair. “Another notch on the bedpost,” Mitchell thought as he tiptoed his way out of the girl’s bedroom. Mitchell made it a policy to only meet women in person and he would never exchange contact details. It meant that none of his ‘conquests’ had any idea of how to find him and, as he was enjoying his ‘tom cat’ life so much, he sure didn’t want to be found. He went on his Uber app and requested a taxi. In less than two minutes one had pulled up in front of him. He took one last look up at the window to check the curtains were still closed and the car pulled away from the curb.

He arrived back at his flat in plenty of time to get ready for the day ahead. He shaved his weekend beard growth and then turned on the shower. Whilst the water warmed up, he took a moment to admire himself in the mirror. He loved how beefy his legs looked from the years of playing rugby first in secondary school and then in the university’s first team. His regular attendance at the gym meant he had a well-defined chest and arms. Women loved his bum as it stood out, firm and muscular. Yes, at that moment as he entered the shower cubicle Mitchell was very content with his life, but on this day, things were about to change.

As Mitchell locked his front door, he noticed piles of boxes outside the flat next door. As he turned towards the lifts, he ran into a large man. He barely stopped as he fell into him. Stepping backwards he said, “I’m really sorry, I didn’t see you there.” As the guy regained his balance, Mitchell noticed the man’s shaved head, jeans with bleach marks with tall black boots with white laces tucked into them. Even though he thought of himself as a tough, well-built guy, he stuttered feeling inadequate and intimidated by this stranger. “I…I…I’m Mitchell,” holding out his hand, “n... n… nice to meet you. So, you’re moving in next door? I… I… always wondered who my new neighbour would be? It’s been vacant for ages.

The man smiled, “I’m John and yes, it was quite a steal really. Apparently last owner had been shacked up with his fiancé for the last few months and they were about to get married. I made an offer a bit less than what they were asking for, but, because he needed to put money down as a deposit on a new house, he had no choice but to accept.”

“Well,” Mitchell replied being polite, “I… I… I’ve got to get my bus.”

“Yes, I can see you’re dressed for an office. As you can probably see I’m not a suit person myself.”

Mitchell laughed nervously. Why was he feeling so unsettled by this guy?

“Look, why don’t you drop by when you get home from work. I always like to get to know my new neighbours.”

On the spur of the moment, Mitchell couldn’t think of an excuse not to accept the invitation, so he said, “why not? Must go!” As he walked away, he could sense the man was staring at him. He shouted, “good luck unpacking” and then lowered his voice a little, “weirdo.”

John couldn’t help admiring his good-looking young neighbour’s physique, and he shook his head hearing Mitchell mumbling that last word. He began to create a mental picture of what Mitchell might look like wearing less formal clothing. Tattoos were common on young men of a similar age these days, so John wondered if he had acquired any ink yet. He was sure to find out later when Mitchell would drop in for a chat and John would explain was his lifestyle was all about. John set about unpacking so that he could prepare for his young neighbour’s visit.

It was around 7:30 in the evening when John heard a knock on the door. He opened it to find Mitchell had changed out of his work suit into a t-shirt and sports shorts. “Come in.” It felt more like an order to Mitchell than a pleasantry.

“You got everything unpacked I see.” Mitchell said trying not to stare at the many pairs of tall lace-up boots all lined up by the door; taking in the various bomber jackets hanging on the coat rack and the skinhead themed pictures and posters on the walls.

John noticed Mitchell’s “That’s nothing lad, I’ve got way more kit in the bedroom.”

Mitchell really didn’t want to know any more about what might be in John’s bedroom, “takes all kinds I guess,” he thought as John handed him a beer. The two men chatted, but as Mitchell sipped away at the beer, “wow”, he thought, “this stuff has a real kick.” He found himself becoming more relaxed and more willing give direct answers to John’s questions; about his job, his personal life, his family and friends. Mitchell was hoping that by dressing as though he was going to the gym and John would bring their chat to an end and let him go on his way. Mitchell was starting to fidget as you do when you’re about to stand up. However, John had different ideas, “stay right there lad, and I’ll get us another beer.” Mitchell suddenly found himself wanting to stay and slumped back into the sofa.

“So wh… wh… what do you for a living?” Mitchell asked with a slight stutter and slur as John handed him another glass of beer.

John smiled, “I’m glad you asked. To put it simply I change people.”

“Change people?” Mitchell asked thoroughly bemused.

“Yes, I change people. I take ordinary people, with very traditional upbringings and boring lives and I change them into whatever takes my fancy.” You, young Mitchell are just the sort of person I look for to mould into something more, hmm, you know ‘out-there’.”

Mitchell had downed half the glass of beer at this point.

John continued, “maybe I’ll slowly take them from the lives they are currently leading and over a few hours, a few days, maybe a few weeks transform them. They might end up as a…”

John could sense Mitchell’s fear about what might happen to him but continued, “The next person I change may end up as filthy mohawked punk, a dirty greaser biker, a Leatherman, a goth, a rubber slave. Who knows? It’s whatever takes my fancy at that moment. After a time, I get bored and need a new challenge, so I sell them on to people into the lifestyle and I move on to my next…”

Mitchell couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He opened his mouth to challenge what John was saying but he discovered it wouldn’t move. His heart was pounding, his anxiety levels were on the rise – no matter how hard he tried he was unable to form any words.

“Mitchell, I want you to calm down! Mitchell is such as pompous name, so from now on you’re gonna be called Mike. Now, I will carry on. John pulled out an amber charm which he swung from side to side, glowing eerily in front of Mike’ glazed eyes. When I combine this fine-looking stone with a special ingredient I have – oh you know I added a few drops into your beer, my victims become more… open to the changes I want to make to them. More compliant.” Mike’ eyes were affixed on the stone. “That’s right, just follow the stone, from side-to-side, follow the stone, transfixed by its glowing beauty/” John was comfortable in the knowledge that Mike would soon be his personal boy toy. “Isn’t that the most striking, bright and coloured stone you’ve ever seen Mike?”

He tried to open his mouth in one solitary second of defiance, but all he could managed was a barely audible squeak. His independence, his free will, his ability to fight and think freely had departed. There was no resistance left in Mike. His mind was now mush, the lad could only obey and conform.

John pulled Mike to his feet and dragged him to the bathroom. Once there, he placed him in a chair. “Right Mike, I’ve been thinking all-day about the life I want to give you. How do you fancy being my skinhead son? I’ve always wanted someone I could call a son, but being gay it was never going to happen, and I think you will make the perfect skinhead.” John didn’t wait for Mike to reply - he couldn’t; he did however see the confusion and distress in Mike’ eyes. He chuckled to himself.

John walked over to the bathroom cabinet and took out several items: some electric clippers, scissors, a pack of Mach 3 razors and a can of shaving cream. Turning his head to look at the boy, he smiled, “Only real men have hair. So, yours needs to go Mike. I’ll start on your legs and then your chest, all of that lovely blonde hair on your head and not forgetting the parts in-between. I’m going to enjoy getting rid of that wavy blonde hair. When I’m done, you’ll have a perfectly smooth bonehead.” John cut through the lad’s t-shirt revealing a well-defined torso. Staring at the blank canvas and thinking what he would do to it, he couldn’t help but squeeze one of Mike’ nipples. John detected the tiniest of yelps, so he squeezed the other nipple. There was no reaction this time, Mike’ mind was lost. He continued to stare into the  amber jewel that was hanging in front of his face.

John turned on the clippers, starting with the boy’s left leg. Hair started falling in clumps on the floor. Once the left leg was done, he moved on to the right one. Soon John was wiping them down with a cloth, applying a astringent lotion so that the smooth skin shone in the bathroom lights and after a few more applications, regrowth would never be a problem. Then it was onto the chest. Although Mike was only in his early twenties, he’d already got quite a covering of fur, which John’s clippers made quick work of. Mike’s arms were also denuded of hair. John turned off the clippers and, with the same cloth, applied more of the special lotion to the recently clipped areas.

John stood up and smiled. He paused for a second, “this is the last time there will be any hair growing on your head.” He pressed the on switch, and after hearing the familiar ‘clack’ he began ploughing all the way through the boy’s golden locks. In no time at all Mike was motionless sitting in the chair with a zero-grade cut. John picked up the can of shaving cream, squirted it into his hands and rubbed it copiously all over Mike’ head. He took the necessary time to ensure all the fuzz was removed and Mike’ head felt like a cue-ball. In no time at all there was a shiny hairless skinhead son sitting in front of him.

Looking down, John smiled as Mike’ identity lay on the floor in clumps. He looked up at Mike who was sitting perfectly still, with the same glazed eyes and dazed expression on his face, oblivious to the changes being made without his consent. He took the cloth, poured some more lotion into it and rubbed it into his son’s head.

“Stand,” John ordered. Mike complied, happily obeying his skinhead master. The sports shorts were pulled down over the now smooth legs and John stood back as he grabbed the clippers. “Now boy, I need you to get nice ‘n’ hard so I can make sure I get all your hair… down there...” He watched as slowly but surely there was movement in Mike’ groin. John grinned as in no time at all full mast was achieved. “Very nice boy,” John said out loud, “I bet you were popular with the women. Is that six, possibly seven inches? Good and think as well. Unfortunately for you, you’re not going to have much use of it as my son, but it will look amazing with a thick gauge PA, and a Jacob’s ladder.”

‘Clack’, John turned on the clippers and began the removal of the last remaining hairs on Mike’ body. He had to hold himself back as he rubbed the special lotion into the skin around the groin and on the mounds that had once been covered in thick hair. When he was satisfied the boy was as smooth as the day he was born, John left the bathroom to get something from his bedroom. When he returned Mike hadn’t moved, he was still lost in the stone “Now here I have the perfect thing to complete you. Now stay perfectly still.”

Later, John walked into the main room of the flat dressed in full skinhead gear. As he gazed at his newly denuded skinhead son, he felt his manhood straining inside a pair of skin-tight bleachers, which were turned-up and touching the top of a pair of 30-hole red ranger style boots. He was looking lustfully at the 23-year-old standing to attention, still wearing the expression, he had when the amber jewel turned him into the compliant vessel he now was. “It’s time for the next stage in your transformation lad.” With that John walked over to a cupboard an opened the doors.

The cupboard contained piles of skinhead gear from boots to bleachers to braces to bomber jackets. First, he instructed Mike to put on a yellow jockstrap. “You’ll be wearing this non-stop for a few days – it needs to get in nice ‘n’ ripe.” Then he passed the boy a t-shirt, which Mike willingly slipped over his head. “These are your bleachers; they’ve got two zips – front and rear – you’ll soon find out why,” he grinned, “slip them on.” Mike pulled up the tight-fitting jeans that had been liberally splashed with bleach. Mike didn’t take any notice of the fact that they’d been cut off just below the knee and turned up so that they would show the full extent of the boots he would almost always be wearing when he wasn’t in his work gear. John walked across to Mike carrying a pair of red braces which he attached to the bleachers, pulling them right up his bum crack – so much so that Mike let out a little groan. To finish this stage of the transformation, John handed Mike the left boot. It was black with 20 eyelets and partly laced. John talked Mike through how to ladder lace the boot tightly and perfectly. John fitted a padlock at the very top of the boot before handing over the right one. When John was happy with the way that one was laced, he fitted another padlock. “Stand!” Mike stood up. “Turn to look in the mirror, see the Skinhead son I’ve created. This is what you are now a proud skinhead and my skinhead son.

“Now, we can begin your training. Kneel!” Mike complied. “I know your tongue will still be a bit tender, so I’ll be gentle. Open!” John commanded, and with that he slid his cock into Mike’ open mouth. “Move your tongue slowly, showing how much your love the bottom of your skinhead dad’s cock. Make sure you keep your lips tightly closed as I don’t want you to spill anything.”

He sat back as his cock was held between Mike’ virgin lips and soon found himself about to cum as the hard stud, he had introduced to the lad’s tongue work its magic. The combination of it all and the sensitivity soon had John unloading his massive load. “Swallow!” Mike swallowed quickly trying not to “spill’ as he had been instructed. John soon slid from the lips of his new son and quickly zipped up his own bleachers. “Yes,” John thought, studying the boy who, in addition to the tongue piercing also had a stud in each lobe and four more studs all the way up each of his ears. Mike would serve him well as his skinhead son, but first he needed to complete the lad’s transformation. “Right son, let’s go – I need you to see a friend of mine.”

With that John grabbed a green bomber jacket with orange lining and threw it to Mike, “put it on,” he instructed. Mike slipped on what he would get to know as an MA1 and followed John out of the flat. Right away he found it strange walking in heavy soled, tightly laced boots, but he didn’t complain – he couldn’t.

The skinhead and son waited a few minutes at the bus stop before one came along heading in the direction of the city centre. They alighted just before the main shopping area. It was an area that would be unfamiliar to Mitchell, but Mike was oblivious to everything now. He obeyed his skinhead dad, just as any good son would do. The two skinheads walked side by side into a small industrial estate. One of the units had a sign saying, ‘Anaconda Tattoo Studio and Piercing’. John walked ahead of Mike, as they got to the door, John walked in but for a second Mike hesitated. John knew this sometimes happened, especially with all the distractions of the outdoors. He pulled the amber stone out of his pocket and held it in front of Mike. “This way boy,” he ordered. Mike complied; his eyes once again completely transfixed on the glow of the jewel.

Once inside the tattoo studio, John turned to Mike, “stand here son. I need to talk to the owner.” Mike waited as instructed. Despite tattoos being made popular by the countless athletes and celebrities who adorned their bodies with intricate permanent markings, the old Mitchell would have never crossed the threshold foot into a tattoo studio. But here was Mike waiting to submit to whatever his skinhead dad was discussing with the owner.

John came out of the back office followed by a hulk of a man who was wearing tight leather trousers, a black vest, which exposed his muscular arms covered in tattoos, shaved head with long unkempt beard and on his feet were heavy biker boots. “Son this is Griff, he’s going to give you some more piercings and your tattoos. But first, you are to strip down to your jockstrap. When you’ve done that, go over there and sit in the chair. From now on you will do exactly what Griff tells you to do. He’s going to give you your first marks to show the world that you’re a proud skinhead. After you’ve got your first ink, he’s going to give you some more metal. I’m going to leave you for a bit, but I’ll be back to see the finished work.” Turning to Griff, John said, “he’s all yours.”

Griff walked over to Mike wearing only his jockstrap  sitting obediently in the chair. Since John had already removed all the boy’s hair, Griff simply wiped clean the areas to be tattooed and then laid the first outline template on the skin. His machine was then started up, some ink was added, and the needle started to buzz.

He then began applying the needle over the site of the first tattoo, Mike felt a dull pain but didn’t flinch. Once the first tattoo on the boy’s left arm was completed, Griff went on to add the other tattoos as instructed by John. He started work on a full sleeve on Mike’s right arm, which would take four or five visits to complete. Then he added a bulldog to the rear of the lad’s right calf. Finally, two swallows were added to the back of the each of the lad’s hands. Griff whispered into Mike’s ear, “that’s all I’m doing now lad. John has booked half a dozen more sessions, so you’ll be coming back to get your neck, back and chest inked, and I can finish off the full sleeve. Now stay still. There’s a couple more things to do. Griff pushed away his tattoo cart and returned with another.

Griff looked at the docile boy in the chair. I think we will start with the nipples. Griff played, stroked and flicked them for a few moments until they were firm. He then slipped a needle through the left nipple, at which point Mike squealed. He then installed a barbell through the hole left by the needle and screwed a ball onto either end. He repeated the process for the right nipple. “No touching lad.” Griff then turned his attention to the lad’s groin and applied a topical cream to the so-called policeman’s helmet (bell-end to others). “Right, we’ll give that a little while to take effect and, in the meantime, we can sort out your nose piercing. This will hurt, but only for a second.” Griff then picked up a clean needle from his trolley and quickly passed it through the front part of the septum. Mike’s eyes began watering, so he knew the boy was feeling the pain from the intrusion of the needle. Carefully he inserted a ring into the boy’s septum, and then said out loud, “That will take six weeks or so to heal, then John wants it swapped for a bigger ring.” Now, the cream should have dulled your senses on your knob so let’s add the final bit of metal you’re getting today. He wiped the area to be pierced with an antiseptic skin cleanser, put a mark where the piercing was to be made, and begin the piercing process. The most painful moment for Mike in the piercing process was when the piercing needle punctured his urethra. One the needle was through, Griff inserted a circular barbell and spoke again, “don’t worry if you feel a bit of discomfort – a dull, throbbing pain that’s to be expected.

At that moment the door opened, and John walked in carrying a large shopping bag. “He’s all done, just as you instructed John. Don’t forget to leave the starter jewellery in for six weeks – no less, and make sure you use the aftercare solution. After that we can do a bit of stretching to your liking.”

As the days turned into weeks. John had started his son on the path to being a smoker. First, he gave him a gum to chew to introduce nicotine into the body, then he encouraged him to vape. When he felt there was an addiction starting, he told the boy to smoke cigarettes, starting him on five a day, and quickly moving onto ten, then fifteen. Within a couple of weeks, he was getting through a pack a day.

Mike also kept up his weekly visits to Griff, as more of his skin was covered with ink. Over the period, the full sleeve was completed, the Union flag was tattooed on the back of Mike’s next, the word skinhead was tattooed in script of his back and the letters that made up the word skinhead were inked on his knuckles and finally a Celtic cross was inked on the left pectoral. On the most recent visit Griff replaced the rings in his septum and PA with heavier gauges. As per John’s instructions, he also replaced the studs in his ears with rings and the ones in the lobes with spreaders. Mike joined his skinhead dad in a new gym, one that was run by an ex-boxer friend of John’s. John made sure to get Mike in the boxing ring so that his pretty boy face could get roughed up a bit. John wanted his son to look a bit freakier.

Mike didn’t look like the sort of person who would work in an office anymore, so he was signed up to work in the city council’s recycling centre – they were always in need of people to sort through other people’s waste. Five days a week he stood by a conveyor belt dressed in dirty Hi-Viz gear, and safety boots separating glass, metal, plastic, paper and cardboard into different bins.

After work, the boy would return to his skinhead dad’s flat, which was much bigger now that the wall had been knocked through joining what was Mitchell’s flat and John’s flat together. This night was special because as soon as he got home, Mike got out of his stinking workie gear he’d be in since just after dawn and into the skinhead gear his dad left out for him. Tonight, skinhead dad would be introducing his skinhead son to the lads in the pub. Mike dressed in his bleachers, a black Fred Perry, yellow socks and red 20-hole boots. Mike was ready in time for his dad to return home. John walked through the door and saw the perfect skinhead son standing there. “C’mon son. You’re gonna meet your skin bruders.”

[cursedcatvibes]

WORLD RECORD!

re4r!incel roommate leon x roommate reader

word count: 3.6k

summary: Incel leon who thinks he’s above women and thinks he’s an alpha male. he’s an absolute piece of shit too.

tags/warnings: 18+ minors DNI! Smut, many many mentions of misogyny. He literally can’t find the clit. P in V, he wrapped it before he tapped it! Incel 😧. quick mention of abuse but it’s not super relevant to the plot. not proofread!

a/n: not much to say other than i cringed so bad trying to write leon’s character, but i was committed, i looked through incel forums on reddit and even got chronically online real quick. also i’m on vacation! so i’m not able to write as much as I want! :( i’ll probably post small drabbles but i will most likely have another full story up in a month considering I cranked out a whole 7k page fic and then now a 3k one. DONT QUOTE ME! Also maybe agent leon x agent reader next. @gettingsilly (my sweetheart who was so hyped about this! here you go my love!)

songs:

pussy - rammstein (highly recommend them)

behind blue eyes - limp bizkit (fun fact; this was the og title of the story!)

rape me - nirvana (this was going to be a non con but i changed my mind)

norwegian wood - the beatles (literally burns the woman’s house down cause she don’t want him😭)

happy reading!

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

Handsome. Is the first thing that came to mind when you first opened the door to greet your new roommate, Leon. 

-

The rent was getting out of hand these days and you figured it was a way better deal to split the rent instead of living paycheck to paycheck damn near.

The only downside were the horror stories about roommates and even just random strangers too. It made you feel a bit queasy, but what else could you do, a recently single woman and at the ripe age of 25, technically you were in your prime for all types of creeps and weirdos to try and pull something, especially if you live alone.

So you bit the bullet and put up a craigslist ad, putting it at the back of your mind for now while you went back to getting rid of your ex-boyfriend's belongings. 

You only remembered about it when someone responded to it and after a few messages back and forth you gave the address to him and told him he could move in tomorrow. Feeling a bit proud of yourself for even being able to organize such an arrangement.

-

The first thing you noticed was how absolutely built he was, he definitely went to the gym and it made you feel a little insecure for a brief moment, before you stepped to the side to allow him to enter. “Welcome to your new home!” You beamed, happy with what you’ve done to the place. Completely missing the way his eyes ran up and down your body lewdly. 

He only wanted to have a girl roommate because he figured she would give it up easily or at least flaunt her body off to him, much to his dismay you were wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, not a single ounce of skin showing where he could sculpt your body out. “Prude.” Is what ran through his mind.

“Thanks.” He replied stiffly. “Where is my room at?” Leon asked as he looked around, he was kinda pissed off you didn’t show him any goods. He hated girls who didn’t show off their body, but he hated girls who showed off too much, thought they were just whores looking to get some attention.

So what if he catcalled them? Obviously they were dressing like that for attention and got all pissy when he gave them that attention.

You were oblivious to Leon’s degrading thoughts, too focused on trying to make sure he didn’t try to kidnap or murder you. When he spoke about where he would be staying you perked up and showed him the room while also giving a quick tour of the apartment.

You were even sweet enough to help him unpack all his things once they were all brought in! He owned some interesting objects, a bit uncomfortable to watch him unpack as he had a whole box dedicated to just sex toys. Fake pair of tits that were way too big to even be comfortable on a woman, fake mouth, fake ass, and multiple fake pussy’s. That wasn’t even the worst part of it. 

It got all too freaky when he pulled out hentai figurines that had little to no clothes on, all in lewd poses with lewd expressions on their faces, more specifically ahegao. You could feel the initial attraction from him sizzle down to a mere speck of a flame.

How could someone just own all this stuff so casually, flaunting it like it was a toy race car collection? But Leon didn’t care, fictional cat women were so much better than real women. They couldn't reject him or deny him sex. (Because they quite literally couldn’t, they're inanimate figures.)

He had the straightest deadpan expression on his face and you got the heebie jeebies thinking about what he could’ve possibly done with all these weird toys.”So,” You cleared your throat awkwardly, suddenly feeling like every object of his you touched was just icky. “Where did you say you lived before this?” You asked curiously.

Leon glanced over at you, wondering if you were gonna pull your hoodie off and finally show him your tits if he answered all your questions, he was growing frustrated. Dammit woman! Show him something! He thinks this is the longest he had gone without jerking off or watching a porno. If you weren’t gonna entertain him sexually why were you still bothering him?

“My mom’s. She said something about me needing to move out because I'm too old.” He grumbled out, this gave you a major ick, didn’t this guy say he was 27? He wasn’t struggling to get money when clearly he can afford expensive sex toys and other items. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” You replied quietly, to which Leon grunted in acknowledgment.

Once you finished the box you were unpacking you decided the best course of action was to just walk away from this conversation. “It seems like you can handle the rest on your own, I don’t really wanna break any of your computer monitors and stuff.” You said as you stood up from the floor and brushed your hands against your pants.

 “Okay.” Leon hummed, disinterested in  conversation. All he really wanted to do was hurry up and set his computer up so he could jerk off in peace. You leaving his room was a bonus. He didn’t want to be downright rude and kick you out, after all, he is totally a nice guy. Plus he got the opportunity to stare at your ass as you walked out, he could see it jiggling underneath your sweats which was enough to rile him up.

-

You wish you could say it improved from there but unfortunately it did not at all. It only seemed to worsen. Like who the hell is watching porn from the moment they wake up to the moment they fall asleep. It’s all just yucky. The loud and over exaggerated moans that were definitely done for performance and not real. 

The only time Leon would leave his room was to eat or grab some water, he always looked so dazed too, it made you wonder what he was doing in there, you’ve never seen him go to work so it made you curious. 

Leon on the other hand was always so dazed or flustered in the face from the amount of jerking off he does all day. He once ran his dick dry enough to start cumming clear, rubbing himself raw damn near. It’s not like he tried not to get laid, he definitely did. But it never worked.

The way he carried himself was creepy, flaunting the fact he was a nice guy who could give a girl a good time. News flash! If you have to say you’re a nice guy, you're definitely not. Girls often avoided him in middle school and that followed him throughout highschool and even college. So he naturally drifted towards animated women.

He was hot but his personality quite literally sucked, it's like he would attract women because of his looks and as soon as he started speaking they lost interest. But you? You still greeted him every time he came out of his room with a polite smile on your face, offering to cook him something but he always declined because the mere thought of having a woman do something trivial such as cook for him like a traditional woman should, made him hard on the spot.

He had the normal views on life, such as all men do. Women are baby makers, they belong in the kitchen, they should treat their man like a king. It’s not like anyone could change his opinion either. He’s so far into the rabbit hole that his other incels praise him like he was a god, thus only further bursting his massive ego. 

-

You didn’t think much of Leon, not in a harsh way, you just didn’t really know that much about him because you two never spoke like that. All you did know was that he watched porn, maybe a bit too much that was considered normal. It's not like you're shaming him because you watch porn too, but you have some decency, a bit of dignity and pride.

Yet your opinion of him instantly sours when one day he comes out of his room, which reeked with the smell of cum and sweat, the room was humid too, which confused you when you first noticed it. He wore an angry expression on his face as he stomped, yes, like a toddler would, towards the fridge to guzzle down a can of soda. 

You, sitting on the couch mindlessly scrolling through your phone waiting for the time to pass on your off day, you planned to go to a club and slut yourself out to help remind yourself that you’re in fact hot and your ex missed out. Yet when he slammed the fridge door closed that caught your attention, perking your head up like a puppy.

“Uh, you alright?” You asked aloud, watching his eyes snap towards you with a frustrated huff. He figured if you put up with him this long then you must see the same misogynistic views he does about women. “No!” He scoffed out, dragging himself to sit on the couch next to you, like directly. Knees touching and everything.

This piqued your curiosity, maybe you could learn something about him? “What’s wrong?” You questioned as you shut your phone off, sitting up a bit straighter now, putting some distance between the both of you on purpose by grabbing a throw pillow.

Leon then started to rant and you’ve never been more disgusted and horrified in your life before. “I’ve been talking to this really hot chick and we were hitting it off, even had phone sex once or twice but when she asked me who my ideal woman was she ghosted me! Like what's wrong with saying women belong in the kitchen, or doing laundry, or even just cleaning. Women are only here to serve us alpha males.” 

Your nose scrunched up while your face morphed into genuine horror mixed with disgust. Is this seriously his mindset? It must be a joke or something of the sort because no way in hell. “Is.. is this a joke?” You asked, feeling puzzled as you looked around for a hidden camera. Out of all the people you got stuck with, you got stuck with an incel of all people.

Leon stared at you with the most serious face he could muster, he wasn’t kidding, in fact he was getting a bit upset that you were thinking he was joking. “Women are what's wrong with this world! You’re all too soft and so ditzy. You all think men’s feelings are a joke.” He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and you swear you can make out a dried cum stain on his clothes. 

You felt so sick and also tickled, you’ve never heard someone or have been around a real life incel before and unfortunately this one came in the form of a super hot guy that wasn’t looking so hot anymore 

“Ew..” You stood up from the couch and stuck your tongue out slightly. “Is that how you see women? No wonder why she ghosted you, you’re a fucking incel.” You scoffed out, to which Leon got offended. “So?! What’s wrong with that?!” He shouted, the tips of his ears turning pink. It was different being scolded by a woman in person rather than over the phone because  he knows they can't hurt him physically but rather verbally. Plus it’s much easier to insult someone online versus real life.

“Do you actually hear the words leaving your mouth?” You questioned, staring him down intensely. Leon tried not to shrink in on himself, it reminded him of his mom telling him that he had done something wrong and now he was in trouble. So he doubled down and sat up straighter too, staring up at you. 

“Yeah, and what about it? Why do women get so butthurt over every little thing?” Leon grunted out, rolling his eyes like a little kid would. You were just astonished that he was willing to keep going even after being confronted with the fact, but you weren’t oblivious to the way his ears were turning red from embarrassment. “Fine, if that’s how you’re gonna be.” You murmured as you sat down on the coffee table right in front of him. His eyes follow your form curiously. If he was being honest the only reason why he actually moved in with you was because he thought you were really hot from your profile picture and even the photo you sent of yourself to prove that you were real, per his request. He jerked off to both photos for hours. (Plus his mom really did kick him out.)

Leon went to question you in hopes of turning the table around to make it backfire on you. Yet as his mouth opened to make another snide remark about women you spoke up first. “Let me be the first one to tell you this, and I mean this too.” You paused as you stared right into his eyes. “No woman is ever gonna have sex with you if you have this mentality and mindset.” You watched his eyes widen a bit and felt some joy come from it.

Leon balled his hands up into fists in genuine anger, a deep part of himself knew she wasn’t lying but the other part was so adamant on her being wrong. Obviously she didn’t know what she was talking about, women never do. “You’re a liar. You’re just jealous.” He scoffed out, narrowing his eyes into thin slits.

You were absolutely not lying.

Far from it actually.

The closest Leon had came to a pussy is on a computer screen, let’s face it. No woman on earth would wanna sleep with such scum such as him, not even prostitutes themselves want to take on such a tedious task. They’d rather kill themselves or have their pimp abuse them than sleep with him.

“Really, name 5 women you’ve had touch you in a romantic way.” You countered, staring into his eyes with an intense expression. Leon opened his mouth to try and smugly name a woman until he realized the answer was 0, he had no names because no one wanted him like that.

It was a blow to his ego and it showed on his face. If he wasn’t such a loser with terrible opinions along with his shitty personality then you would’ve felt bad but you didn’t. It was his own fault.

“That’s not fair.” He grumbled, staring up at you with a slight hurt look on his face. He wanted to get back at you. Make you regret and eat your words. How? Well that problem was quickly answered as he grabbed your wrist and pinned you beneath him on the couch. A yelp leaving your mouth at the sudden movements.

“What the—“ You were suddenly cut off by Leon’s hand slapping over your mouth, he smelled of cum and sweat, it made you wanna gag and throw up on him. “I bet I can make you cum so hard you’ll forget that you were mean to me.” He hissed, his fragile ego was broken because of you!

You furrowed your eyebrows before rolling your eyes. “Whatever.” You said underneath his palm, voice coming out muffled.

Leon smirked and moved his hand off your mouth, gazing lustfully at your body. He seemed confident but on the inside he was screaming at himself. He’s never touched or seen a woman in such an intimate manner in real life. This wasn’t a screen this time.

He gulped and hooked his fingers on the waistband of your sweatpants, he was determined to make you cum if it was the last thing he ever did.

Once he removed your sweatpants he found you commando beneath it. His breath caught in his throat, your mound was glistening beneath the light in the living room. It wasn’t even wet because of him, but he was dumb enough to not know the difference. He stared in awe before looking back up at your face when you cleared your throat awkwardly. “You gonna stare or what?” You questioned.

Leon shook his head before putting his hands on you, gently rubbing your inner thighs. Making you think that for a brief moment he might actually know what he was doing, right up until he pressed his thumb against your lower lips and started rubbing them.

Completely missing your clit.

He felt so aroused and a bit cocky now that he was touching your pussy, his eyes laser focused on your face to see if it was feeling good. He even tried dirty talk too. “Yeah? Does that feel good? I bet it does.” Literally hyping himself up.

You found it hilarious and decided to nod, stifling a laugh as you let out a fake over exaggerated moan he hears in his crappy pornos. Leon let out a soft groan at the sound, his hips bucking up into the air while his cock twitched.

Now, Leon had seen enough porn to know that he needed a condom and lube, obviously they never showed the actors prepping the girls' pretty cunts, they just stuck it in. Spoiler alert, foreplay is hot! None is not.

While Leon ran to his room you took the opportunity to finger yourself, even if you were sure he wasn’t packing much you wanted to be somewhat prepared for a small stretch, you groaned silently, throwing your head back in pleasure, clearly favoring your hand over Leon himself.

When you heard his footsteps you quickly pulled your hand away and watched as he excitedly took his pants off. Wow, so much for knowing how to pleasure a woman. It was funny to watch him struggle to keep it together when he kneeled back between your legs.

“I’m gonna put it in now.” Leon announced, squirting a generous amount of lube on your cunt before (attempting to) rolling on the condom. (You definitely had to help him. The last thing you wanted was to get knocked up by some dimwit.)

He put some lube on his cock, jerking off a bit while looking down at your pussy. Not your face. When he stopped masturbating he slapped the tip of his dick against your clit a few times, your body jolting in pleasure at the sudden sensation.

This immediately boosted his ego and you were in awe he was able to make you feel partially good. He was just daydreaming of how tight and warm your hole was going to feel. His dick wasn’t that big either, it was average length, average size, average balls. Just.. underwhelming and average.

“What’re you waiting for?” You murmured, snapping him out his trance briefly before he cleared his throat. “J-Just trying to brace you for my cock, it’s big right?” Leon questioned, feeling a bit insecure but he wanted you to make him feel better, feel like a man. That was a woman’s purpose after all.

“Yes (no).” You sighed out breathily, keeping up your act, dragging your nails down his body gently, causing him to shudder and nod with a smug look on his face. He pushed himself in fairly easily, considering your ex-boyfriends cock was much bigger and overwhelming, accidentally clenching down around Leon’s sad excuse of a penis which riled him up, thinking you had came.

You definitely missed his dick and now was stuck with some crappy one attached to a misogynistic freak. A soft sound of discomfort left your lips and Leon took it as a sign that you were enjoying it. You must love it! He was so confident in himself!

So confident that after 5-6 thrusts he spilled inside the condom, talk about a minute man. He was a millisecond man. His whole body spasmed from euphoric bliss, he had never cum this hard in his life before, burying his face in your neck, sloppily kissing at your skin because he couldn’t kiss for the life of him.

You were stunned someone could cum so quickly, that had to be a world record or something. Quickest man to cum after sticking it in or some random ass title, you hadn’t realized you had zoned out about the Guinness record book until Leon pulled his cock out from inside you, feeling good about himself.

He was panting softly from the intensity of his orgasm, leaning back against the couch to gaze at your pretty pussy, he wanted to eat you out too, wanting to show you he was good orally too.

“Was it good? Did you cum too?” Leon said as he stared into your eyes, wanting to hear you sing his praises and take back your harsh words that hurt his feelings. Almost like a puppy waiting for its owner to praise them for pissing outside the house instead of inside.

You grabbed your clothes and put them back on, smirking as you stared him dead in the eye. “No, I didn’t cum.” You snickered as his face dropped, kissing his forehead quickly. “Sucks to suck, Leon.” You said casually, getting up to go to your room and nap.

Leon sat on the couch stunned beyond relief, his cock kicking against his thigh as he watched you.

He swore under his breath that you were lying and you did cum, after all, delusion is key, and delusion is what made him become your roommate to begin with.

[gallusrostromegalus]

You mentioned once that Mai Valentine likes her sweets boozy and also you had a bunch of other preferred flavor profiles for TPOFATGIF. Any chance of something similar for AEIWAM?

I know Kubo made canon notes on everyone's favorite and least favorite foods, but this is for the AEIWAM versions of the characters. Here's much of the cast's food preferences, as characterization practice:

Ichigo:

As much as he gets teased for it and his name, Ichigo loves him some fruit. He will inhale any fruit or juice left unattended within arm's reach of him in seconds. Melons, berries, pineapple, pears, guava- he does not care. There is fruit, it's going in him. Isshin is pleased his son likes healthy snacks but sometimes the grocery bill can get alarming. Ichigo's least favorite food is anything with capsaicin in it- being a ginger means he's unusually pain-sensitive and with an equally touchy tummy. It burns on both ends and all the way through the middle too.

Orihime:

Tatsuki likes to joke that the gods were drunk when they made Orihime, and they put her taste buds in backwards. Truth is, Orihime is a sensation-seeking kind of autistic girl and loves novel flavors more than anything else. She read "salt, fat, acid, heat" and took it's advice very literally, so you end up with things like "cream (fat) of tuna (salt) balsamic vinegar (acid) sriracha (heat) casserole" . The only thing Orihime really dislikes is foods she's gotten bored of.

Chad:

Beef. The boy needs beef. Chad spent his early adolescence on his Grandfather's Cattle Ranch in Mexico, allowed to eat as much red meat as he wanted and his physique shows it. Now he's back in Japan where it's prohibitively expensive and he is DYING. Please. He is a large carnivore. He can't live like this. Chad's least favorite food is ironically, his most reliable source of red meat: the fast food burger. It's not the same. It mocks him.

(More Karakura Gang and Some Captains under the cut)

Uryuu:

Uryuu is the son of a doctor and a little weirdo in his own right and he will assemble a baked potato or disassemble a slice of pizza with surgical precision. He just sort of likes customizing his food before he eats it. Hence, his least favorite foods are things where all the ingredients are mixed together and inseparable, like stews and casserole.

Tatsuki:

Tatsuki is a hot wings afficionado- she likes all the flavors, because there's a lot of really nice flavor interactions in the milder sauces, but also, the hotter the better. She once entered a hot wings eating contest in middle school where every round was hotter than the last and sailed easily into the "scorpion death pepper" round before being declared the winner, much to her disappointment. She was still hungry, and those were a 5/10 at most for her. Tatsuki's least favorite food with anything with even a hint of clams or other mollusc shellfish in it. She hasn't been diagnosed with an allergy, but given her extreme aversion to shellfish, she's not going to press her luck.

Keigo:

Keigo lives on a rancid diet of junk food, novelty soda, and instant ramen and likes it that way, thank you. Ichigo periodically makes him eat an apple at sword point to get some kind of fiber and vitamin into him. Keigo's least favorite food is anywhere can't cook in a microwave, and all vegetables.

Mizuiro:

Mizuiro is way too vain about his skin and hair to live on Keigo's garbage raccoon diet, but he can't cook to save his life. His favorite foods are multivitamins and everything he can get delivered, and his least favorite is anything deep-fried and greasy

Rukia:

Rukia was raised in fantasy medieval Japan, but is a "I'll try anything once!" Girl and this has lead to her favorite food being Oregano. Favorite condiment. Puts it on everything, even ice cream. Once things calm down a little when she returns to soul society, she gets Orihime to send her a "care package" of assorted spices, snacks and modern "puzzle" foods (juice boxes and ramune) to show to Byakuya, who starts inviting friends and coworkers over to try these things too, and the resulting video makes Ichigo laugh hard enough to rip out a few of his stitches. Rukia's least favorite food is jellybeans, because she can never remember the flavors and keeps putting bad combinations of them in her mouth.

Renji:

Like Chad, Renji needs his fucking protein, and sure loves him some beef, but he's also got that ADHD Hyperfocus going on and regularly forgets to eat so while he's not specifically partial to the flavors, his favorite food in terms of 'keeping him alive and hale' is nutritional protein shakes. Like Ichigo, Renji is also partial to fresh fruits and has the spice tolerance of a recipe blogger from Kansas, but he does have an extremely strong aversion to Bananas that he refuses to explain.

Byakuya:

Byakuya is a sensation-avoidant autist who has had his aversions largely ignored in favor of "you need to uphold the clan honor by being POLITE at this dinner and EATING WHAT YOU ARE SERVED, you can throw up in private later", so his regular diet is quite mild and limited, which moderately terrified Unohana (she IS partially responsible for keeping him alive). A chance encounter with Zaraki Kenpachi accidentally saved the Kuchiki line because he introduced a New Food to Byakuya by being normal about it, and now Byakuya loves BEANS. All of them. Red, Black, Soy, Kidney, Mung, Great Northern, Purple String, Adzuki, Anasazi, Edamame, Pinto, Pole, Striped, Yard, Garbanzo and Navy. Peas too- English, snap, snow, lentil, black-eyed and split. Paired with already-acceptable rice, this makes his limited diet startlingly nutritionally complete and high in fiber. He'll never eat squid or octopus again if he can help it though.

Kenpachi:

AEIWAM Zaraki Kenpachi was raised by eagles and it shows through in weird places, like how he insists on eating poultry and fish bones like his mother taught him to. In fact, the bones from deep-fried chicken are his favorite, and he will help himself to the bones other people don't want. He has a cast iron stomach that rarely gets upset and a notable sweet tooth, but is extremely picky about texture. This surprises some people who think that living as a beggar for a few centuries means he'd eat anything, and comes as no surprise to anyone who HAS been that destitute- an off texture is often your only warning before a potentially lethal case of food poisoning. Hence, Kenpachi's least favorite foods are anything "slimy", which puts him off many sauces and seaweed-based dishes.

Yachiru:

AEIWAM Zaraki is significantly more amiable and cunning than his canon counterpart because, realistically, he had to keep Yachiru fed. No village will let a random murder-hobo in to eat, especially if he's broke, so Zaraki got exceptionally good at ingratiating himself with strangers and getting hired at odd jobs in a hurry. This was an extremely sharp learning curve because he found Yachiru when she was an infant and not yet weaned, and he had to go to some fairly extreme measures to get milk for her. It's a point of pride for him that his little girl has never gone to bed hungry, even if he did. Yachiru is very aware of the fact she has historically eaten better than her father, despite his best efforts to disguise it, so her favorite foods are anything she can share with him- bags of small candies or chips or other snacks she can divy up and insist he eat too. She gave Zaraki his sweet tooth sharing candy like this, but anything she can share while eating is a favorite. Her least favorite is boiled vegetables. There is nothing that can make boiled broccoli worth eating.

Unohana:

Retsu Unohana has severe ADHD and makes food choices based first on the dopamine reward she gets from eating them, and the medical knowledge of "you need vitamins and fiber too, bitch" second. She would live on high-octane coffee with an excessive amount of sugar and cream if it were nutritionally complete, but alas. She does have a notes fondness for organ meats like liver, kidneys and lungs because they taste "richer" to her, and the novelty appeals as well. However, she has seen the horrors of what The Wrong Mushroom will do to a human body up close far too many times, and it's put her off eating fungi entirely. She'll eat her own hand before she'll eat a mushroom.

Komamura:

Food is both a joyful and distressing experience for Sajin. Joyful, because his exceptionally sensitive sense of smell and taste means he gets to experience layers to even the most simple foods that humans can't even begin to comprehend. Distressing, because humans have a very weak sense of taste and over-season their food accordingly, often with poisons. A lot of the reason he started wearing a helmet was less about fear that humans would attack him for being a wolf man, or that he would inspire undue fear in others, and more that he has a hard time saying "No" to people, who keep unwittingly offering him food full of toxic onions or worse, grapes. The helmet was not easily removed, and kept the dangerous gifts at bay. Fortunately, modern humans are more aware of things that will poison him and more willing to make accommodations on his behalf. Still, his least favorite food is Raisins, which keep being added to otherwise perfectly good dishes, like someone deciding to sprinkle a bit of Water Hemlock in their tacos. He still keeps the Occasional "Carnivore Outing" he and Zaraki take to the distant mountains to celebrate their shared cultural heritage a secret though, because he's not sure most of his friends and colleagues are ready to learn that his favorite food is "Elk bone marrow, either still hot from the kill or after it's been buried in dirt for a week", but at least these days he has Zaraki "You know how it is with Liver and Eagles" Kenpachi to commiserate and split the carcass with.

Tousen:

Kaname did his required tour of duty in the living world in Oaxaca, Mexico and while he was there he developed a taste for Chapulines, or fried grasshoppers. He didn't mention this delicacy when he returned to soul society, not out of fear that people would think he was a freak- his coworkers already largely did, either because of his blindness or his Blackness, if not both- but because one of the few coworkers who he genuinely liked and got along with was Lieutenant Mashiro, whose favorite animal is Grasshoppers. His least favorite food is any alcoholic beverage or boozy dessert, because the one time he tried drinking with some friends from Shinigami academy, he developed a case of the spins just two drinks in and immediately became completely disoriented and couldn't right himself, and quickly became too nauseous and panicked to speak. His friends were having a GREAT time and thought Kaname was doing his usual wallflower nonsense until Liza Yadomaru finally realized something was amiss and she and Love Aikawa ended up taking him on a drunken sprint to the emergency room. He got better by morning but now even the smell of alcohol makes him feel sick again.

[elizabethrobertajones]

Frog Time

I'm so bad at tagging people so consider yourself tagged if you want to be :)

B A S I C S

Name: Bounding Frog (redacted roe language name because I forgor)

Nicknames: Frog

Age: 18-22 (ARR-EW)

Nameday: 23rd Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon

Race: Hellsguard Roegadyn

Gender: cis woman

Sexuality: Bi

Profession: She has a summer job working with the hippo riders, although that doesn't pay as well as adventuring, so she's looking forward to Dawntrail and doing more than delivery runs.

P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C T S

Hair: maroon and light pink

Eyes: maroon and light pink

Skin: brown

Tattoos/scars: I headcanon the single choice of tattoos per face for roes are meaningful somehow - I chose coming of age, getting her Adventurer Name, and leaving home, so those were fresh porple swoops over her cheekbones in ARR :D I've only known her as long as she's been Frog and looked like this.

The scar on her nose is from being underhand punted like a rugby ball by an older brother back when she was an orb shaped child. Since adventuring the regular healing has stopped her getting too scarred up from any misadventures.

F A M I L Y

Parents: Notable members of their remote mountain community, maintaining an important set of Arcanima wards around an aetherically dangerous geological fault. Of course, they're good at their jobs so this wasn't very scary as an upbringing. They're a lovely couple and make a hell of a bowl of soup. All else I know about them is they're very supportive and Frog writes to them regularly.

Siblings: like six rowdy older brothers. She was very spoiled by this squad of bodyguards tbh. (Ignore the previous comment about one of them maiming her, they DO love her even if they saw her as a cannonball under other circumstances.) A couple of them left to be mercenaries, uncertain if for Garlemald - they don't write home as thoroughly.

Grandparents: Probably, tbh. We're getting out of my limited perception of Hellguard culture and history but I think I can say the remoteness of their village is an excuse for nothing too terrible to have happened to any of them :P

In-laws and other: She was sort of starting to think of Edmont as a potential in-law and he began acting like it after Events so she's acquired some without marrying. He DID also adopt Aymeric informally, so now she's courting him it's coming back around!

Pets: Multiple, even not counting animal sanctuary beasties. Some she drops by to visit where they're being looked after once she'd raised them or sheltered them for a while (the baby hippo was donated to the hippo riders thankfully before he got too large and hungry for example). Others live at the free company house getting spoiled by the staff. The free company is named after the baby tapir who is the best and cutest. :)

S K I L L S

Abilities: In character, she has yet to find something she isn't good at after a couple of false starts. (ooc is much more of a mess depending on my ability) As an all-jobs all-crafts all-gatherers weirdo she's genuinely alarming to contemplate.

Hobbies: crafting/gathering/fishing is more of a wind down respite than a career calling for her. Canonically she's finished the fishing log... ooc I haven't by a long shot :P She also loves visiting bars and pubs across the world that she's visited to drop in on old friends, or go on foodie tours of places she's liberated. They stole G'raha being a foodie traveller in the dawntrail trailer from her actually.

Kinda always wanted to do a in character review of all the drinking establishments in game.

T R A I T S

Most positive trait: determination and everything that went into being strong enough to do the end walk, which did feel like a culmination of all the positive things they ascribe to the WoL. Since she's living the life of box art Meteor with no plot deviations or alterations except what I can put into the downtime and spaces between cutscenes, I can't argue with times when they REALLY show the admirable heart of the WoL.

Most negative trait: She's not going to say no, so if you need a favour just stand near where she wanders by routinely and look forlorn and you WILL get helped to within an inch of your life.

L I K E S

Colors: royal purple, dark reds and deep blues

Smells: fresh baked anything. Probably also the fresh morning smell when she gets up at ass o'clock to do stretches or whatever gross things morning people do.

Textures: G'raha ears >:)

Drinks: black coffee, red wine, milky tea

O T H E R    D E T A I L S

Smokes: tried it with the Vath and hated it. Still has no idea if Fogweed is a drug or not.

Drinks: socially and merrily with a bottomless liver.

Drugs: nothing harder than caffeine and alcohol.

Mount Issuance: her sweet blue chocobo is called Turbulence and threw off everyone who attempted to ride him before that.

Been Arrested: not outside MSQ run ins with the law

[dont-f-with-moogles]

hello Terra ♡

new follower here (on Val's recommendation btw) discovering your works and enjoying them a lot so far!

can I request prompt 26 secret Santa gift exchange for the Survey Corps Vets? there's no way this would go smoothly with such a bunch of weirdos, right? you can include ships (I love them all) to pep up your story if you feel like it

thank you for taking prompts and happy holidays (*^‿^*)

Festive Fics 26: Secret Santa Gift Exchange

How Mike Stole Christmas (Canon Universe) Characters: Levi Ackerman, Hange Zoe, Erwin Smith, Mike Zacharius, Nanaba, Moblit Berner 602 words 

Mike seized the final scrap of paper lying inside a squat, cardboard box. Erwin placed the empty vessel on his desk before addressing the small group before him in the same formal tones that he used during every expedition briefing.

“And so concludes the drawing of names for this year’s Secret Santa. Now, just a few reminders with regards to the rules. 5000 yen spending limit. No items which include hazardous, corrosive or highly flammable matter. No conspiring to exchange names with one another.” At this he gave a pointed stare in Hange’s direction.

There came a derisive snort from the back of the group. Heads turned towards Mike Zacharius who glanced up triumphantly.

“Hey, Hange. Seeing as you’ve got me, don’t bother buying me a gift. Just swap outpost duty with me next weekend?”

Hange blinked; their eyes magnified alarmingly behind dark, square frames. “Huh? Surely your nose doesn’t possess that level of power, Mike… unless…”

“Well…” Mike strode with his hands clasped behind him and head thrown back so that his celebrated appendage was held proudly in the air. “...not only do I know that you do indeed have me Hange, but I’ve also figured out who everyone else has too…”

Stopping abruptly, Mike gave a sudden nod of his head.

“Levi didn’t put in a name or take one out. He doesn’t want to participate.” 

Levi scowled at him. 

“Never do. How’d you figure that much out?”

“I got a whiff of ink and paper from everyone here… apart from you.” Mike’s nostrils flared. “Standing next to you, all I smell is deception.” 

“Meanwhile, Hange’s expression was just like the first time they saw Levi using ODM gear.” Mike paused to inhale deeply. “The air is thick with awe and… pheromones.”

Beneath their misted frames, Hange’s face glowed pink. “Why thank you.” 

“...but that’s just because you slipped Levi’s name in the box when he wasn’t looking and you’re excited to see who picked it.” 

Levi closed his eyes in frustration. Mike continued his course, hesitating to sniff the air beside Moblit’s ear. Hange’s subordinate gave a visible shudder.

“Increased perspiration, panic and dread. You could cut the air with it,” Mike concluded. “Moblit pulled Levi’s name. Erwin drew Moblit…” 

The Survey Corps Commander regarded Mike coolly. “I thought I kept a remarkably impassive expression and maintained my body temperature throughout the whole ordeal.”

“But you can’t fool me.” Mike tipped his finger from his forehead towards Erwin. “I saw you mouthing ‘Moblit Brenner…?’ with obvious confusion.”

Moblit sighed. “It’s Berner. Sir, I’ve served alongside you for the past five-”

“And, lastly, I caught Nanaba’s clean, refreshing aroma of relief,” Mike cut across him. “She eyed up Hange’s frog crocs immediately after she picked their name. Nanaba’s been dying for an excuse to buy them a new pair. Those old things are falling apart so badly, they’re more hole than shoe by this point.”

“B-but they’re comfy!”

“And I drew Nanaba.” Mike waved his own slip of paper. “That’s why I need next weekend off. I’ve booked a little place outside the district…” He offered her a wink.

“So Mike single-handedly sank the whole thing?” Levi’s brows were contracted in disbelief.

“So, I didn’t get picked at all?” Erwin gasped faintly. “Hange, how could you just throw my slip out…?”

“Let’s punish him.” A glint of light flashed dangerously where it caught on Hange’s glasses. “Shall we draw the names again and leave Mike out this time?” 

“Wait, wait - ” Mike’s voice caught in his throat. “You can’t blame me! Blame my nose - it’s both a gift and a curse!”

[eff-plays]

A personal rant about BG3, Larian, and writing fanfic

So let me preface this by saying that I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on?

I am not really a fanfiction writer, which is ironic considering some of my first writing was fanfiction. Since then, it's been nothing but original fiction. The Wayhaven Chronicles was the game I started writing actual fanfic for, and that was only a couple of years ago (nobody look at me I haven't updated in forty years). I'm very new to the genre, basically. I barely even read fanfic, as for most of my life I've just been like "Well it's not canon anyway so what's the point of it?" and it's only recently that I've gotten more into it and understood the "point".

That is all to say that when I started writing my BG3 Tavstarion (I know, so new and never seen before) fic, I wanted it to be based as closely on the game as possible. To the point where I would boot up the game to get the smallest details right; which boxes were where and had what in them, the inflection of a character's voice, the movements, the animations. I could look it up on Youtube, but it felt like cheating -- I had to be there, as my OC, and filter it all first-hand through their thoughts. That way, my fic would have a solid foundation of canon on which I would build their story.

I admit, that's the main reason I've kept the game installed despite burning out of actually playing it months ago. Because of my stupid OC that I love. Here's what I even made the Steam banner look like.

It might be silly -- I would never hold a fic I read to these dumbfuck standards, anyway -- but it felt right. I'm writing a canon-compliant fic, so of course I need canon to support it. Maybe not to the extent I was doing it, but the fundamental idea made sense to me. I wanted my deviations from canon to be minimal and well-informed. Because I loved the canon and that's what made me love the game, and in turn my OC. It was all connected, you see?

Which brings me to the patches. The updates. The scene changes. All of it. I wanted to stay true to the game, so I hung onto it for dear life, letting it clog up my PC's storage just in case I needed it for fic purposes. But now ... what's the point? Larian won't leave well enough alone, so to which version am I staying true? Why should I respect canon when Larian can change it at any moment if a vocal minority has issues with something I personally enjoy and want to include in a fic? At this point, my personal experience doesn't matter -- my Tav's version of the game doesn't exist anymore. So looking up stuff on Youtube feels right. In fact, it might be my only choice, if I want to see the version of the game where they first and best existed.

And you might think "Wow Eff, that's a long-winded and melodramatic way of saying you're uninstalling the game!" Well, yeah. This is my personal gaming blog, so of course I will put my big gamer feels on here. That's just what I do. But this is the first time this has happened to me, where I feel like there's just no point in respecting canon at all, and I want to document that feeling. I was trying desperately to stay true to Larian's vision, playing the game when it brought me no joy just so I could then write fic which does bring me joy. But why do that? Larian does not respect me, and more importantly, they don't respect their own stories. So why should I?

Anyway, yeah. I'm uh. Uninstalling the game, finally. I will keep writing my fic, as that still brings me joy, and apologies for getting shit wrong, but at this point the game I remember doesn't exist anyway, so what's the point in getting the current game right?

The only thing I'll miss is being able to take screenshots of my Tav, and making gifs of them. I modded in a unique face for them (and long-time followers will know how much I struggled with that) and now that won't be as easily accessible anymore. I don't think it's a waste, though, not with how much joy it brought me, and I'll still have the files. Maybe I'll come back in a few months and gaze upon them again.

Goodbye for now, my blorbo. You will always be loved. The game you're from? Not so much.

[bloom-ribbon22]

Bloom's Dinotrux HUMAN AU infodump: D-Bros + Skrap-itt

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I know I already posted them but I still wanna put em here + front facing D-Structs(unrelated note: don't usually do front faces much, I have tried it probably two times and it either ends up looking weird or just not right but I do like how it turned out this time! hmm maybe I should do more characters front facing).

anyways, I've always wanted to infodump share some bits of lore, facts, info, and other stuff of my human AU version of the Dinotrux and I kind of started with the D-bros + Skrap-itt, why? ngl they're one of the most interesting characters to me. soooooo here you go :)

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D-Stroy:

-when D-Structs was born, D-Stroy looked at his parents while pointing at his new baby sibling and asked "mom, dad.... why does he look so ugly?"

-a very mischievous kid back then. he was the ultimate pranker. he pranks a lotta people that he almost lost count of them but his favourite pranking victim is you guessed it! ya boi D-Structs! oh poor poor young, bratty, selfish D-Structs... always having silly stuff drawn on his face when he was asleep and almost getting scared to death everytime his brother just jumpscares him...I'd list more but this is getting way too long lol.

-hair is l o n g and messy af. you can probably store/hide items in there idk.

-has a high tolerance for spicy food and also enjoys eating it.

-even as a kid, he always gets into fights and still does which results to him always receiving new scars/injuries. almost never minds it because with all honesty he doesn't really give a shit what he looks like. even though he is incredibly strong, he knows his limits and also knows he isn't invincible or indestructible so he tries his best not to overestimate his strength and avoid battles if he knows he can't win it.

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D-Structs:

-was already a selfish guy when he was a bratty little kid and a bit of a snitch too. when he was five and D-Stroy would do something to him, even something that's completely harmless like slightly nudging his arm this left D-Structs no choice but to use a move that every older sibling fears "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

-heavily dislikes the taste of sweets. can't really handle it, the taste of sugar and the feeling of it melting into his tongue is just....sickening, maybe even irritating...in fact, it's unbearable....

-similarly to D-Stroy, he often gotten to a lotta fight even as a kid and still does which ends up getting himself new scars/injuries. most of these fights are pretty much his fault as most of the time he's the one that's starting/asking for it.

-"I'd rather live my life all alone until I die" that's what he thought to himself until Skrap-itt came to his life. story between them was kinda similar to the canon. it was so hard for him to tolerate this talkative and dumb lil pipsqueak but as time goes on he kind of started to get used to his company that it feels oddly weird whenever he's alone... sometimes...after all, Skrap-itt was the only one that gives a fuck about him...

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Skrap-itt:

-short king. you can kick him like he's a football or better yet, pick him up like he's some kind of cat and maybe even put him in a box, seal it shut, and deliver it to any random person. "your order is here"

-a cat person. he understands them, he knows they're not just annoying animals always whining for food 24/7, they are loving and caring too! they're not just, y'know, not that playful...at least..most of the time...he would adopt a cat but sadly D-Structs not really a big fan of pets in his home.

-was the weird lonely kid who often gets picked on a lot and many avoided him because, again, a weirdo and thus lived a pretty lonely life. Smash-itt, Break-itt and Lloyd are often the ones picking on him which would explain why Skrap-itt is so bitter to them when he meets them again, worse part is that D-Structs, though completely unaware of their history, """hired""" them.

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that's all for now, there will be plenty more(and I may add more stuff) and of course I'll make some for Ty and the gang :) fun but not needed fact: I started to type all of this with 11 percent battery and now it's 7 percent....dang

anyways I'm coming back to school at January 3 and I'm scared af sidbdiebsisbisbsisjd-

[jennifriend]

Dear OFMD,

I wasn’t sure who to address this to, at first. There are so many options, so many people instrumental in the creation of this show that means so much to me and so many others. David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, Vico Ortiz, Alex Sherman, and the rest of the producers, directors, writers, cast and crew. I did try to list out everyone, but it took up the whole first page. My social media follows exploded when I began watching.

The thing is, I’ve never quite been comfortable in my skin. I knew something was off about my gender as early as 8, possibly earlier, but eight is when I remember actually thinking that I wasn’t a girl for the first time.

I wasn’t a boy, either, but it was the eighties, and I didn’t know the term non-binary, or that gender was as much a brain thing as a body thing. So I shoved it down, along with the thought that the kids at my school should hurry up and learn the lessons already so we could go onto the next thing and that I hated wearing dresses, except when I loved it.

And then, I just . . . didn’t think about gender for a long time. Not when trans people were the butt of all the jokes in the movies in the nineties, not when trans stories, real trans stories started getting told in the aughts.

Someone gave me the word agender, once, when I was curious and asked what might describe someone who felt neither man nor woman, and never had, and I went with that. I still go with that, or enby, whichever I’m comfortable with in the moment. I was forty. Thirty-two years of not even knowing I was looking for that word, and I was.

And then a year or so later, someone talked me into watching Our Flag Means Death. 

I write. I’ve published. When you send a story out, you never know what other people are going to think of it, what symbolism they’re going to find, how they’re going to interpret this thing or that thing. So I don’t know if you realized when you finished filming the first season and sent it for edits, or finished the second season and watched us foam at the mouth for it, how the fans were going to react. 

There are a lot more of us out in the world that don’t feel quite right in whatever gender box we’ve been put in than anyone realizes, I think. And I think a lot of us gender-weirdos are fans of this show.

It’s not just Stede, and his love for fine things. It’s Ed, with his hidden silk, and his softly admitting to “maybe” liking “a fine fabric.” It’s not just Jim being outed, and everyone going right back to normal after they figure out that that’s what Jim wants. It’s not even just Wee John’s wonderful performance as Calypso.

It’s also Wee John sitting down to sew and saying he used to sew dresses with his mom. It’s calling Izzy the ship’s “new unicorn” and it’s also Izzy wearing make up. It’s everyone wearing flowers. 

It’s Spanish Jackie having nineteen husbands, and maybe some wives.

It’s a meme of any of the characters that’s just a screenshot and the word “gender” written across it.

It’s the concept of “assigned knives at birth” 

And it’s the community that this show created to let us feel free to explore all of this. We can bounce ideas off of each other, we can explore new identities, and you - the cast, the crew, the writers of this show - you have given us a safe space to do so.

I’ve been on the outskirts of a lot of fan spaces. I’ve never wanted to step into them because at their core, they seemed so toxic and gatekept. I’ve never felt that from the fans here (we’re not perfect, and there are a lot of very angry arguments over things that I hope you never see).

So yeah, this is my love letter to Our Flag Means Death, the show that helped me figure out, at forty-three, that my gender is, well, me. And it doesn’t have to fit anyone else’s label.

Thank you for creating it.

Thank you for writing it.

Thank you for acting in it.

Jenn

[11queensupreme11]

Hi Sweetie ❤️ Heard you were looking for some rankings, so here am I once again... Now that Bloodflood is on hold, let me gather my thoughts. How long can this get 😮‍💨...

First, the ranking based on the anime only:

1) Toji--> I know he's not part of the yanderes but hear me out THIS HOMELESS GROWN-ASS MAN HAS BEEN HAUNTING MY DREAMS, MY DAYS AND MY NIGHTS FOR ALMOST A YEAR, THIS IS NOT FUNNY ANYMOOOOOORE 😰.

2) Suguru--> Me trying my best not to cry seeing my all time favs not being included 🥲. Joke aside, really liked the fact he wanted to "mercy kill" Mizu cause he knew what it was like to be Satoru's prey. Really heartbreaking, my poor babies.

3) Choso--> Well... my type is hard working, muddy guy 😅. Finally we enter the yandere grounds 🥳. Fun Fact: Absolute first jjk man who stole my heart, seeing only 2min of him in season one.

4) Sukuna--> Me looking at my RoR Ranking with Shiva on top 👀💧. What can I say... Four-Armed Men=Best kind of Men, certified Monster-Lover here.

5) Yuuta--> My sweet cutie babyyyy 😭😭 made me scream when we saw him at the end of season 2 with his big ass weirdo eyes...

6) Satoru--> Well... I understand. He's like, bred to be perfect, but I never was any Gojosexual to be honest (all my homies love Toji-).

7) Megumi/Yuuji--> I love them as characters, really, but the ranking is mostly based on the HoRnY... they're adorable, but... not in a sexy kinda way?

8) Kashimo--> To be honest, like every character introduced during the Culling Games (the only exception being Gigami Chadguruma) , this one absolutely never impacted me in any kind of way. I'm utterly neutral about him. Nice buns tho.

That being said... oh boy, time for the Tsunami ranking!

(1) Megumi/Yuuji--> Look at my bois, how sweet they are😭. They climb at the top because I just reaally loved their interactions with Hime. They have yet to disappoint me, and I just feel they would treat her the "best" out of all the suitors. I could be wrong tho. Also the way you write Megumi😳, it made me realise the potential of HoRnY- Was wishing he would fu** her in front of Yuuta's camera-

(2) Sukuna--> I stayed up all night just to read your Shisui flashback. It may be my favorite segment of your story, how talented can you be? Ryomen Sukuna... he is the one who has the most reason to be obsessed with Mizuhime, he helps her with exorcism when Gojo puts her down, he has four arms 🤤... He could have been my favorite but to be honest, I feel like his ending would be the absolute worst for Mizuhime (being the King of Curses, the final antagonist etc...). And I just love her so very much, she needs at least one good ending 😭

(3) Choso--> Ok hear me out- I know I may be biased, we hadn't really seen him yet, but it seems he would be kinda like Yuuji. I think he could treat her well. And he's just so clueless, how cute🥺. I makes me wonder: would he be aware of Yuuji's love for Mizuhime? If so, would he try to be a good "big bro" and support his little brother, or would he be selfish and try to keep her for himself? (I think I already know the answer-)

(4) Satoru--> Like someone famous said: "Certified LoverBoy, Certified Ped******"! Maaaan, no wonder Hime wants him to stay in his box, he's so nasty🤣. Gross, disgusting, pathetic, obsessed, overpowered, terrifying... He's the worst, but he's so funny to read at the same time. Let's not even talk about his Heian counterpart... As I said, I never was a big fan of this character, but with all the Jjk fic I read, I can say your portrayal of Gojo is my favorite in all the FanficVerse. It may be the same with other characters, but especially for him. How dreadful, to be the object of obsession of the Strongest in the World... He is still at the bottom tho, we don't need this creep around Hime ever again.

(5) Kashimo--> I have no expectation with this one, as I've said earlier. The electricity power seems interesting, but honestly write him however you want. Seeing your blog he seems like a little shit too.

(6) YuUtA🤬--> Well... if you paid attention in the Pjo/RoR ranking, you already know where this is going. Don't you wonder, what's the point of the dual rankings anyway? I use this to compare how high can a character climb (Megumi/Yuuji, Loki) and how low can he fall. And man, HOW LOW DID YUUTA FALL. It breaks my heart because during the first part I was the biggest YuutaHime apologist. He has seen her fucked up family, he bought her books, plushies, he was sweeeet 😭... If he was a yandere "on his own", maybe I could have let it slide, but how can you go from "Damn Hime your relatives are a bunch of creepy weirdos" to "No u can't unfiance me uwu cause I'm ✨️Daddy's Special Boy in Law✨️" Do you know what happens when you do shit like that? I'm gonna tell you, you earn the [Whiny Little Bitch] stamp. Actually, maybe it was my fault. Shouldn't have put all my faith on the Panty Stealer to begin with. I may be harsher with him because, unlike Gojo or Sukuna, this kind of yandere is not cartoonish evil. The way he acts (manipulation, baby-trapping, forced union enabled by the relatives), it seems... way more realistic. It's not funny or entertaining, it's just... sad. I don't want my best girl to end up like the 2nd Sanyu. Not to say the way you wrote him is bad, it was the best to show us how much of a LOSER he is. My last words about him: I hope he dies in a meaningless way.

Well well well, that's quiet the long rant. I would like to have your thoughts about it. I know you're currently focused on Arsenic Blues (great last chapter btw, Nubby for life) but I really wanted to share with you my review about Tsunami. Really, your fics are the best stories I've read in a veryyy long time and it's the first time I ever interact with an author, so it means a lot to me. Hope you have a great day, week, month. U dropped this 👑

PS: Pls help me I'm gonna cry in non-english what's the difference between "tho", "though" and "thought"-

omg im so sorry, so "tho" is basically just a shorter way for me to type out "though" and it is not a real word, i'm just lazy LMAO i'm sorry!!!!

"though" is just another way of saying "despite the fact" and "however" -> "even though my mom was angry at me, we still went out to get ice cream!"

and "thought" has two meanings:

noun: an idea/opinion in your head -> "I had just had a thought!"

verb: the action of thinking -> "I thought my answer was wrong!"

NOW ONTO YOUR LIST

i was so shocked that gojo was ranked so high LMAO. I THOUGHT HIS NAME WOULD BE DEAD LAST!

though I can kinda get it since kashimo hasn't been introduced and he's kinda been... eh in the manga (sorry bro), BUT OMG YUTA IS LAST??? I wasn't expecting that. I thought he'd be second last with gojo as last 😂😂

but your explanation makes sense. yuta started out sooo cute (creepy though), and at first he was helping her with her dad....... only to become just like him.

and also "No u can't unfiance me uwu cause I'm ✨️Daddy's Special Boy in Law✨️" 😭😭😭😭😭

honestly, he might as well be calling susanoo "daddy" at this point with how much ass kissing he's been doing 😂😂😂

[utilitycaster]

I know the unpopular opinions meme finished ages ago, but id love to hear yours on Chetney, especially given the uthodurn arc. I suppose for more specific direction since thats quite a broad ask, what would you say is the fandom interpretation of Chetney’s character, and how does your opinion/interpretation of him differ and why?

Absolutely - and questions like this one are always welcome!

I was actually quite pleasantly surprised by the fandom response to Chetney this week, which was by and large positive. But with that in mind I think that honestly, it's hard to pin down a definitive fandom interpretation of Chetney's character! Some of this is probably the circles in which I engage and what people put in the main tag, but I think at this point people who felt he was comic relief or a shallow joke or "just couldn't get him!" have either quietly adjusted their expectations or have left the fandom, or have always been people only watching for one character and ignored him from the start.

So I think the thing that differs in my opinion, to be honest, is just that like....I've never reduced him to mere comic relief? Like, he's an extremely funny and ridiculous character, but he showed a great deal of emotional depth from early on; if you didn't pick that up from his rapid turnaround on Dorian it's pretty much impossible to miss in his quiet conversation in the Heartmoor or the way he takes FCG's also ridiculous backstory about Shithead completely in earnest. These two things, as I've mentioned many a time before, are not in conflict! I think Chetney definitely skews far more comedic than, say, Fjord; or obviously more so than other Bells Hells party members Imogen; but like, comedy, tragedy, and horror are all connected by the same tissue, separated only by timing, perspective, and expectation. We know Travis can do a ridiculous character with heavy plot beats as we've seen with Grog; we also know that sometimes the funniest jokes come from more serious characters (again, I think an underrated moment of hilarity in C2 was Caleb's early "you look like a nerd").

It's very narrow and not terribly smart to box characters into a tiny contained archetype with no room to spread out, and Travis is particularly good among the cast at creating characters who defy those boxes. Chetney is an old weirdo with a high voice who says truly preposterous things; he is also someone whose life took an unexpectedly sharp slide downward following an impulsive decision, and who then, improbably, found that what many would consider rock bottom was in fact one of the greatest things that ever happened to him. He's incredibly passionate about what he loves, and vocal about what he dislikes, and deceptively insightful, and has a strong sense of justice and a remarkably good sense of how far he can push people with his over-the-top bravado without wearing out his welcome. He's even (heavily implied to be) bisexual.

I also think, and here's where "oh shit we need to catch up on the entire campaign on the Bells Hells page on the wiki" is really benefiting me, people underestimate how quietly instrumental Chetney is in many of Bells Hells decisions. He was not just the person to clock Dusk, but also the person to broker the compromise; he served as one of the more levelheaded party members following the disastrous fight with Otohan; he's consistently been the one to ask Imogen to actually consider her relationship with her powers; he was the one who convinced Delilah that she needed them leading Delilah to give Laudna a moment; and it was ultimately his idea to fly the skyship into the key. As of this level, he literally is the brains of the operation, with a +3 INT modifier to Orym, Ashton, and Laudna's +1 (and Imogen's +0 and Fearne and FCG's -1's). He has an overblown public sense of pride, but is remarkably willing to set his ego aside when he is not the focus. And for all he loves being a werewolf, he also does take responsibility for the harm he has done without wallowing in guilt. (Not that exploring guilt isn't valid as well, but I think Chet's approach is an admirable trait).

To be honest I think anyone who's not on board with Chet is uncomfortable with those final notes. Either they're one of the stragglers still on their "but Grog had a 6 INT and despite having five entire years to get over this during which Travis has consistently played characters with at least a +2 to INT, I shall not change my perception" bullshit, or, more realistically, are uncomfortable with the fact that Chetney (and, on a meta level, Travis as a player) both without hesitation will take the lead when appropriate or needed, but also will step aside when the narrative is not about him with absolutely no ego or resentment. I think that last bit really throws people off, especially people of the 'if the show cannot be interpreted as secretly centering my blorbo at all times I'm going to go into my tantrum hole' persuasion.

[jonellescribbles]

I’ve seen a few posts along the lines of “I don’t feel like the ship represents LGBT space for me” or “I feel like other parts represent queerness for me, but I feel like the ship is hetero culture”

I feel like this is coming from a place where people see the characters chafe under the stress of masculine conformity and don’t recognise that place as the loving and open queer spaces we mostly have access to now.

Perhaps some of these sentiments are coming from younger queers, so I just wanted to remind people that up until very recently many queer people and spaces felt they had to hyper perform masculinity and binary gender roles in order to claw any dregs of respectability left after coming to terms with their own gay identity. I mean, do I have to remind anyone of the ‘no fats no fems no Asians’ that people willingly put on their own dating profiles.

Something that sticks in my mind was this biography of a man arrested for sodomy - before the Oscar Wilde case. He was frank in describing himself as a gay man, but when he was in jail he looked around at the feminine ‘limp-wristed’ men also in jail with him and compared them to pedos and degenerates, saying “at least I’m not THEM.” Baffling. The mental gymnastics. But that’s what people did. Butches and fems, bears and twinks. The masculine partner was expected to perform masculine roles and the feminine partner received. Needless to say in fiction and reality we can see how these roles box people in and destroy them and their relationships.

I don’t know if people have memories like this but personally, my best friends parents were a lipstick lesbian lawyer (say that five times faster) and a bra-less, short-haired, woodworking dyke in men’s jeans and waistcoats. When they broke up - messily- one of the first things the butch did was steal her partners car and start wearing dresses. (Resist rooting for her she was Troubled and abusive and I’ve made her sound much cooler than she was).

For me the pirate ship is an Extremely Queer space, ESPECIALLY because of the toxic masculinity (and touch of misogyny through their initial suspicion of Jim etc), not in spite of it.

The first shot we have of Blackbeard he’s a leather daddy surrounded by a crew and culture of buff leather daddies, here to save foppish, limp Stede. They, and S1 Izzy, represented the hatred and fear of being something WORSE than gay - feminine. And I love that the story works to undo that.

What I’m saying is that for me OFMD nailed it. The ship is a crew of weirdos - the people in the grey area; nonbinary people, people of colour, bisexual people, and poly people. And FEMININE people. The crew is ‘soft’, ‘weak’, ‘foppish’, all of which are insults the queer community has levelled at their most fem members.

Anyway, I’m rambling but I just wanted to put up my hand and go “Um-yeah. I like your opinions but please don’t forget about the negative parts of our gay history too!” Thanks for attending my Ted Talk, the doors have been unlocked now.

[natsmagi]

this ask is insanely late to the "nutmeg are weird" party but i hate hate when people think they aren't equally weirdos or tsumugi's more of a loser than natsume and is somehow worse than him like natsume doesn't canonically read bdsm books on school grounds for fun they are BOTH so weird and so cool for it.

NO RIGHT ????? natsume and tsumugi are both total weirdos and its genuinely odd to see people just pretend like they arent, or that they arent to the extent that they really are. ive talked abt it briefly before im sure so i doubt i need to highlight it again but the shit those two say to each other can be SO outta pocket at times on BOTH ends i guess people are just too uncomfortable with the thought that their favs canonically know what kink is ?? strange that they decide to make that OUR problem though

AND YEA THEYRE BOTH TOTAL LOSERS TOO!! people thinking tsumugi is more of a loser than natsume have fallen for natsumes lies. Look beneath the surface babes snap outta his spell and look at the bigger picture he is so cringe and loser and pathetic and thats what makes him so good and while we're at it i feel like people portray tsumugi as shy and timid too much when hes more. bashful and worried ? if that makes sense ? the difference is slim but i think its an important one bc i feel people forget tsumugi is very easily excitable, extremely blunt and usually just says whats on his mind in favor of making him more " stereotypically submissive" (i agree that he IS submissive btw, but his submissiveness portrayed by fans feels very. "Ideal Anime GF" at times if that makes sense. its fun to joke about ofc i do it too but the reality is more complex than that). and his blunt, excitable nature also plays into his weirdo factors since it usually results in him saying things that fluster natsume who tries his best to be more reserved and keep to himself (aka loser behavior) AND THATS WHAT MAKES THEIR DYNAMIC FUN!!!!!!!!! THATS WHAT MAKES IT UNIQUE AND EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!! they subvert your expectations!!!! i love them so much!!!!!!!! the two of them can also be really cool though...... i dont like putting either of them in definitive boxes or reduce them to stereotypes bc theyre complex characters that behave differently during different circumstances, all we can do is use context clues to try and figure out how theyd act during X Y and Z

[nicole-from-co09]

I'm sorry. I was being a weirdo like a week ago. Honestly, I miss you. I really do. You're someone who did hurt me, but you're so much more than that. You're smart, you're witty, you're charismatic, you're confident, and you aren't afraid of anything.

Sometimes, you're even kind, and that's the best. I feel like I should get your boundaries and know that it isn't gonna happen. I don't think you really want a partner, not really. I think you want a friend who you can sleep with if you want. That's not a bad thing! A lot of people want that, and that's okay. I shouldn't have tried it with you.

It's just that you're not the dangerous, edgy self-destructive force that I kinda fetishized you as, and I shouldn't've insulted and degraded you by putting you into that box. I know it's been hard for you. I know you've dealt with a lot of real fucked-up shit.

I shouldn't have been part of that. I think I just need to find someone else, and I think maybe you should go somewhere where people treat you with the respect you deserve when you graduate. I don't know if that's UCLA or UConn or LSU or friggin' Rome.

I'm not mad that you hurt me. How were you supposed to avoid hurting me? When someone's been wronged like you've been, it's hard for that person to not wrong others here and there. That's not because that person's evil, but because they view how other people have mistreated them and assume that's normal.

I'm also really, deeply sorry for my role in our bad relationship. I hurt you too. I didn't fuck with you the way you messed with me, but I may as well have chained you up and forced you to play a role that wasn't you and that you never wanted.

Remember how I said that girls made me wanna kill myself? I thought I just meant it like I felt so wronged and unsafe that I had to date guys, and I meant it like that, but honestly I don't think it's true anymore. I thought girls made me want to, because you made me want to, but that wasn't it. After you, I finally had the first moments of love in my life and I lost them. Every girl I look at seems so much better than me, so much more moral and pretty and strong. How does a possessive, manipulative dick like me compare to girls like you, Emily, Jecka, Karen, and Kelly? I wish I could be like you. I wish I could have been hot and shit, and powerful and likable and normal and funny and witty and smart and strong as hell. You've survived so much.

What am I?

I guess I'm somene who needs to get better.

I'm sorry that the world doesn't understand that you're a diamond, and I feel like I should never have been one of your many goddamn abusers.

Nicole, you can respond to this with a hot girl "nah, I don't care, I'm cool" thing. In fact, I kinda expect you to, and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I guess then you'd be the cool chick dismissing the emo gay girl, right? You could make a cutting joke or something, and it'd be funny.

That's a good lesson, and one I think you taught me: Honesty gets you screwed over. Nobody really likes being honest. They just don't want to feel like they're being lied to.

If you ever write a book, I'll read it. Like I said, you're smart.

Keep on shining like a beacon of willpower in this shitty fucking universe.

I'm sorry I was one of the people who gave you problems,

Ari

see, this is exactly what i was talking about - who the FUCK wants to listen to all of this? ten million words of "blah blah blah i'm so sorry you're so hot" like you're a fucking virgin or something, which i know you're not

ari, if you're reading this, i didn't read a single word of your three hundred page letter. if your stupid fucking essay lasts longer than you do in bed, that's like a serious character issue called "being a boring fucking bitch" - and maybe you should deal with that before ever speaking to me again, thanks

fuck, i'm way too high to be dealing with this shit

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

“yes, other writers who have smaller blogs would love to have more comments on their fics, but they too would feel annoyed if all the comments they were getting were 'Part 2???'”

OMG YES! i love it when people comment on my fics like so so much but a lot of the times there’s at least a few ‘part 2??’ type of comments. (also a lot of the time the asking for a part 2 is the only engagement they give) while im not opposed to the idea of writing a part two, i usually don’t have any ideas for a part two because most of the things i write are meant to be 1 parters and so if i can’t think of anything sometimes ill ask them what they’d like to see in a part 2 or if they want to send in a request for it but they never respond? i hope it doesn’t seem like i want them to basically come up with the idea for me but im just kinda confused on why people ask for a part 2 on something i wrote when it doesn’t seem like they’re really that serious about wanting to see more because it’s happened at least 3 times now.

anyways, i hope your day is going good (and if it isn’t i hope that changes soon :/ <3) and that those delusional obsessive weirdos learn to fuck off and stop making shit up

okay, idk if people have noticed this, but I have started putting disclaimers on my fics. I have literally had to put disclaimers at the end of my fics saying 'this is meant to be a oneshot, so please to not comment asking for a part 2' - and comments on my oneshots have gone down so much since I started doing this. I have gotten way less comments on my oneshots because of this. (because people don't want to talk about the actual fic, they just want to ask for more.)

because I couldn't handle the mental strain of getting a notification of a comment, getting excited about it, and then opening that comment to see 'part 2?' or 'omg you need to continue this' - when the ending was very purposeful and it was a oneshot for a reason. especially smut. like just because I don't include both partners having an orgasm and pillow talk, people demand that it's incomplete. people saying 'when are you gonna finish this fic' kills me. it is finished. (kill me, please. you need to kill me.)

and like sometimes I never think that I would ever write a second part to a fic, but positive comments encourage it. my Gleggie fic Hold Me Tight Or Don't - a fic where the main character fucking dies - is a very open and shut case for a fic without a sequel. because the main character IS DEAD. but someone in the comments made a joke about being in their 'Ellie Williams era' because they wanted to mentally deny the sad ending, and it sparked a whole idea for me where the reader character is immune and lives instead. and that fic is currently in my drafts and I am excited about finishing it in the future.

that is the power that engaging comments can have - it can spawn a whole new fic from a place where there was a dead end plot with absolutely 0 potential

but yeah, thank you for this message. I hope you're having a good day - my day is mid level, and I hope to have a better day tomorrow.

and for reference, to all fic readers/commenters out there - if you really like a fic and you are really excited about the idea of a possible sequel to it, here is how you go about asking for it:

go to the writer's ask box or their DMs - open up a line of communication that is separate from the comment section of that fic

tell them that you really loved that fic, and tell them a reason why - the writer will want to know that you are supporting their work, and that you're not just asking for more fanfiction because you're bored

politely ask if they would consider writing a sequel or a continuation to that work

and maybe, in the same message, pose some possible ideas or concepts for that follow up

so, something like "hey, I really loved Hold Me Tight Or Don't. I love the way you contrast the themes of sex and death. but I couldn't help but to wonder what would happen if the reader was immune and survived. would you ever consider writing a follow up or a sequel to it? if not, that's okay."

(fyi, even on works where I have said I do not want to make a sequel, I am open to these ^^ kind of messages if you are particularly interested in one of my works having a possible sequel. the circumstances for each of my works having a sequel is different in every case)

[redmelawashere]

hi hello! may i ask 13 for Near and Mello?

13: Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

hey hi! Oh that's juicy. I feel like I have WAY more unpopular Mello than Near opinions, since some of my unpopular opinions have become popular over time just as the fandom has evolved (I've been in this hellish fandom, shyly, since I was a wee baby starting highschool and I'm currently in my late 20s for context😭)

Also I realize this was only supposed to be one (1) unpopular opinion. And I provided several. Mb 🙃.

Near:

Near is too slow in taking action (conversely, Mello is too quick in taking action but I think the latter part of this statement isn't all that unpopular lol).

Near isn't weak or brittle, physically speaking. I think we all forget how in the manga buddy straight up dressed in riot gear and blended in with the police to escape an incensed zealous mob.

Near's actually fairly emotional in the series - people just can't read body language or neurodivergent behaviours well

speaking of which Near is super underrated as a character. So it's easy to put him in a box of weak, emotionless, boring, weird, and cautious when he is, like all Whammy kids, a traumatized child doing the work of adults. I also dislike viewing him as a watered down version of L.

Near isn't an angel who is morally above killing someone. I kind of like Matsuda's implication that Near is the reason Mikami is dead.

Near might not be as smart as L and that's not a bad thing. L was an adult way older than Near with more experience solving cases. I also like the imagery of Near and Mello needing to work together to surpass L.

Mello:

Mello didn't idolize L. He was obsessed with the power and glory that the title brought, as well as the concept of beating Near.

Although I think its fun to treat Mello as the "popular" and "well liked" kid at Whammy's kind of like the bully/jock in a highschool setting (and tbh, I love fics that characterize him this way) if we look at manga he's also kind of an isolated weirdo who was mean to basically everyone he interacted with.

I actually think Mello, despite his appearance, embodies a lot of domineering and masculine behaviours and he's comfortable with that portrayal. I honestly don't know how you'd survive the mafia otherwise, even with smarts, and reaching that level of power and infamy with just "faking it". This kind of goes with the point above.

I kind of view Mello as a pansexual disaster who doesn't give a fuck about gender presentation. He just dresses how he likes. But that's maybe cause I'm Eastern European, and when I go back home for the winter, the amount of dude bros in fur trim coats and leather is like a LOT haha. It's a flashy way to show you have money - not necessarily flamboyance. It's kind of like with the extremely elaborate hidden mad max-esque bunker in the middle of the goddamn desert - I think a lot of that was like "haha look how much money and power I have".

Mello could have still helped Near without revealing his face to Takada. I think his rashness reared its ugly head after Matt died (which he didn't expect to happen) and consequently, so did he.