#love you shep<3

[oh-snapperss]

hi for no particular reason and prompted by nothing in particular i'm begging for ethubs fluff. cmfort. occzy. cozy. pelase. please. pleas sfot. sfot comfy cozy soft please

anyway love you laurie <3 looking forward to totally NOT being carnally emotionally injured by your words in the very near future <333333333

omg hii shep. you asked me for a nightmare/comfort fic and uh. oh boy! i hope you like nightmare scenes!

this fic is based off the new half alive song, high up<3

Words: 3013

Read on AO3

CW: blood, nightmares, dead person (only in the nightmare), some unreality/disorienting scenes, general horror vibes?? i swear this is comfort in here LMAO

-------------------------------

Things start out quite simple. The dark surrounds Etho. Etho waits to respawn. It’s nothing new, he must’ve been in the void between respawns a hundred, no, a million times.

As more time passes, and no respawn happens, Etho finally feels a spark of fear. The darkness of the void hasn’t ever been particularly appealing, especially since he’s been falling in it for hours. There’s no wind, no melody, no noise at all to help break the crushing feeling of the void.

Is he trapped here? Where was he before this? How long has it been? Where is Bdubs?

he is falling and alone and falling and still alone and falling and falling and–

“Wake up, wake up!”

His shoulder is being shaken, he’s not in the void, he’s… he’s lying down. There’s a quilt over the lower half of his body, twisted in such a way it’s clear either him or Bdubs has been thrashing about. There’s a snuffed out candle on the nightstand beside him, and the room is swathed in shadows and a stillness only found in the middle of the night. Chest heaving, heart pounding, it’s all he can do to keep himself from–

Bdubs.

He flips around, quilt still tangled in his legs, and comes face to face with a dead man.

Blood drips from Bdubs’ shoulder, and Etho knows the warmth on his side is more blood seeping into his shirt from the second arrow wound in Bdubs’ side. Bdubs’ grins, two teeth missing, and his black eye is… well, it’s certainly not comforting.

“Bad dream, sweetheart?” Bdubs croons, and his voice is all wrong. It’s not his Bdubs. This Bdubs has a smile too wide. “Bad dreams, when you couldn’t even keep me alive? When you were too selfish to care?”

This Bdubs reaches a hand towards Etho, caressing his cheek with a gentleness Etho is certain he shouldn’t possess. But then Etho feels a stickiness against his cheek, and registers the warmth of blood on his face. Etho scrambles backwards, unable to help the gut reaction of panic and disgust and get that off NOW! He falls off the bed, trapped between the bed and the wall. Grasping at nothing, he tries to fly to his feet to run, but the quilt is still twisted around his legs. It holds him there, a sitting duck and keeping him from getting OUT-

He pulls upward with the nightstand, and…

The blanket is gone, along with the bed. He’s in the woods. There’s a splish-splash of running water nearby, and Etho heaves a sigh of relief at the thought of washing the blood off his face. The moon overhead is full, casting the jungle with more light than most nights.

Etho moves towards the water, although as he draws near, he realizes it’s flowing a lot slower than any creek he’s ever seen. Kneeling down, twigs pressing into his shins uncomfortably, he reaches down towards the dark liquid, mesmerized at the red color. Somewhere in his mind, a warning bell sounds. Is water red?

Something is wrong.

“Etho?”

“No, no, no, no-” It takes less than a second to turn around, stumble backwards, away from his husband, away from the stench that can only come from a decomposing body. Bdubs limps forward, and the leaves around him turn red from the blood still dripping from the three arrows embedded in his body.

“You could have stopped this, cutie,” Bdubs smiles again, and Etho wants to throw up at how disgustingly un-Bdubs his expression is.

Etho keeps scooting backwards, unable to tear his eyes away from his lover, from… the thing his lover has become.

“Urgh!” Etho yelps as his hand dips into the creek. It’s not cold or refreshing, it’s warm, and as he throws himself further back from Bdubs, his other hand gets covered too. When he stands, breaking into a sprint, a cursory glance downward almost makes him scream. His hands are covered in blood.

“Wait for me, don’t leave me again.”

God, he doesn’t want to, he wants to turn around and be brave, but there’s no saving Bdubs in his state, and–

And Etho is a coward.

And it’s Etho’s fault.

When he trips on the vines he’s hardly surprised. The jungle always did seem sinister (was he in a jungle before?), and as they wrap around his legs, forcing him down to the ground, holding him still, tightening around his waist… it's all he can do to keep struggling. He pulls and pulls at the vines, but they wrap around his hands too, forcing him still to face… face his own…

“Don’t run away, my dear!”

Etho snaps his gaze up from the vines now reaching his waist, and there he is. There’s more blood on Bdubs now.

“‘Dubs… I tried to save–” Etho begins to plead, but Not-Bdubs cuts him off with a snarl, and lunges forward, hands outstretched and–

And…

The vines release him, and it’s… he’s not in the jungle anymore.

It’s still night, but he’s in the shopping district now. The place feels silent, but Etho knows it must be late. Huh. Maybe he should go home? Etho’s never been one to fall asleep randomly, but… he must have been out just slightly too late and exhausted himself. Man, he’s not even sure what project he was working on today.

Okay, bed time.

Etho reaches for his rockets, and then realizes he doesn’t have any. That’s odd.

Wait, hang on… this is the wrong season. He’s in the Big-Eyes shopping district, and… and the ground is shaking.

Glancing up at the sky, Etho realizes.

It’s the end of the world.

Chunks of grass fly into the air, followed by rocks and bits of builds. Etho’s pretty sure there’s a flying pig. The ground shakes, and it takes a second for him to regain his balance. He grabs onto the nearest wood pole to keep himself from tripping over, then clutches it for dear life when he feels himself float upwards towards the ginormous moon in the sky.

There’s fires breaking out, and Etho can hear the distant screams of villagers and animals as meteorites crush them before the moon itself can. One of the shops nearby breaks into pieces, and his arm is grazed by a flying bit of wood. Etho winces as his feet hit the ground with more weight than needed, but then he’s tearing down the steps and toward the water. He’s gotta get out of here.

BOOM. Etho stops short at the wave bearing down on him from whatever just hit the sea, and just manages to avoid being soaked through and crushed by it.

Was the water… was it red? Why was the water red? Why is he even here? Hadn’t Bdubs been the only one left when–

“Bdubs!” gasps Etho, and this time he hears it.

Beyond the screaming, the spray of water, the sound of the literal apocalypse, there’s a jukebox playing.

This time, Etho doesn’t run.

The familiar tune guides him, feet carrying him to the place he’s only ever been told of. Bdubs had told him what happened, once, with tears on his face and fear in his eyes. He stayed because Etho had promised he would be there.

His feet move on their own. Etho knows where Bdubs was at the end, and as his feet carry him around the final corner, he’s proven right.

His husband stands alone, facing away from Etho and towards the moon. The jukebox is beside him, and… and Bdubs flinches when a rock hits the ground at his feet.

There are three arrows sticking out of him still. All of them are in his back, and the blood dripping down from his body makes a grotesque pool at his feet. Something keeps Etho from stepping any closer, and yet he can’t make himself flee.

“He promised he would come,” mutters Bdubs, and his fingers turn white where they clench the moss cloak Etho has come to associate him with.

I’m here, Etho wants to scream, I wanted to save you, I would have come–

“No you wouldn’t. And you didn’t.” Bdubs turns to face him with soulless eyes and an expression devoid of life. “You weren’t here, you didn’t care, don’t lie to me.”

Etho sinks to his knees, because Bdubs is right that he wasn’t there, he wasn’t there and Bdubs was alone and died and it’s all his own fault, it’s Etho’s fault, and–

“Go on and run,” Bdubs commands, and there’s something in his unforgiving and emotionless tone that sets Etho free. “Go and be selfish, go home, Etho.”

Etho glares up at the sky, in time to see the moon fill the entire sky.

It doesn’t crush him, but he’s helpless when it crushes Bdubs, burying him under rock and rubble and broken promises.

“Etho? Etho!”

The sound of screaming fills the air, and Etho thrashes to get away, get away from it, run–

(There’s a snuffed out candle on the bedside table. The room is cast in shadows not unlike before.)

“Etho, hey now-” A familiar voice comforts him (comfort? No, that can’t be right), and a hand lands on his shoulder. Etho can only move backwards get AWAY–

He wheezes, unable to catch his breath. “No, please, no–”

It’s his fault it’s his fault Bdubs died and it’s all his fault he could have saved Bdubs but he was too selfish.

“Shh, shh, it’s fine, what’s wrong?” Bdubs stares at him with far more concern than Etho deserves. The screaming has stopped, and Etho realizes belatedly it was his own cries.

It’s then he realizes that this Bdubs isn’t covered in blood, and is real, although Etho’s legs are tangled in their quilt just like before. He kicks away the quilt, sending it tumbling over the foot of their bed with too much force.

Bdubs is in front of him, breathing and alive. His lip is trembling slightly, and there’s no sign of the arrows or black eye… and it’s not–

“Moon big?” Etho croaks, and Bdubs eyes widen. His arms circle himself, tugging at his sleeves. It’s a nervous habit Bdubs picked up at some point when Etho wasn’t around, and already Etho wants to kick himself, he knows better than to–

“No… moon is small tonight,” Bdubs confirms, as though to reassure himself. Etho sags in relief, before stiffening again. He’s got no right to feel fear at the moon when it was Bdubs who died by it.

“You gonna tell me what–” Bdubs gestures at him, “--all this is about?”

Bdubs is right, Etho’s in a state. Between his haggard breathing, shivering violently against the cool breeze coming from the window, and general panic, it’s obvious Etho isn’t ok.

He doesn’t have a right to comfort though, does he? Not when he left Bdubs, he let him die not once but multiple times, he broke his promises and Bdubs suffered for it.

“...’m fine,” Etho chokes out, and he forces back the tears still growing at the edge of his eyes.

“You’re lying,” Bdubs says, frowning at him. Etho wants to rip his hand away when Bdubs takes it between both of his, gently massaging it. “What’s goin’ on?”

But he can’t, he can’t speak, he should be comforting Bdubs, hell, he shouldn’t even be in their bed after the way he’s betrayed Bdubs, he doesn’t deserve forgiveness.

A strangled noise makes its way out of his throat, and as much as Etho wants to be held, he pulls away.

He ignores the hurt in Bdubs’ eyes. He deserves to hold someone better.

And yet, Bdubs just sits there, legs crossed on the bed and waiting. He lets Etho breathe for a few more minutes, hands still hovering where Etho pulled away.

“Etho…” Bdubs tries again. “You know… you can tell me anything?” He reaches forward again, wrapping his hands around both of Etho’s hands. Etho is too weak to pull away. He wants to be held, he wants it so badly and he’s so selfish for it.

“You’re still cryin’, sweetheart,” Bdubs squeezes Etho’s right hand, then drops it to move his hand to Etho’s face. He wipes at Etho’s cheek, wiping away the tears that Etho hadn’t realized were still rolling down his face. “Whatever happened, better to talk about it, don’t ya think?”

“I shouldn’t,” Etho whispers, and he knows he’s right. His chest aches and aches, and it’s deserved. His own to bear.

“Why not? I wanna hear,” Bdubs blinks at him, and the corners of his lips turn upward into a mimicry of a smile. “You know I love you?”

“But you shouldn’t!” Etho bursts out, startling Bdubs into lurching slightly backwards. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to–” he cuts himself off with a groan and a hiccuping sob.

“No, no, it’s okay!” Bdubs recovers quickly, and moves his hand back down to hold Etho’s and thumb over his palm gently. “What in the world are you talkin’ about, me not supposed to love you?”

Etho clamps his mouth shut, determined not to make himself seem like the one deserving comfort. Minutes and more minutes pass, and Bdubs hums the same tune that played in Etho’s nightmare. Etho recognizes it now for what it is–it’s their song, he’s heard it a thousand times and danced to it with Bdubs almost as many. Soft, comforting notes that typically help Etho relax and feel safe-–this time it does little to calm Etho. But then Bdubs traces letters into Etho’s hands, declaring love over and over into his palms, and Etho can’t help but shift forward slightly. It does not help him keep his resolve to stay silent.

Bdubs’ hums trail off into silence, and Etho finally speaks.

“I… I’m so sorry.”

He can tell Bdubs is looking inquisitively, but he won’t look at Bdubs’ eyes now (just in case he finds them to be as soulless as in his nightmare).

“I should’ve saved you… I could have, I could have given you that life… there was no reason not to and–” Etho chokes on his own words for a moment before continuing. “I left you and betrayed you and–”

Bdubs is already shaking his head in denial, and squeezes Etho’s hands in reassurance. Etho keep going.

“And… and I left you alone on season eight, and you were alone and waited for me and I was just off doing nothing useful on my own world because I’m selfish and I didn’t wanna face you after I caused your death, and… and then you died again and it was my fault!” Etho tries to pull his hands away, but Bdubs’ grip is too strong.

“You shouldn’t love me, Bdubs,” Etho chuckles humorously, but sounds more like a sob. “You deserve someone who isn’t selfish and a betrayer and a killer.” Your killer, something whispers into Etho’s mind, and he can’t argue with it.

The death grip Bdubs has on his hands loosens.

That’s it, then, and Etho moves to leave their bed, but then…

“You’re stupid if you think that,” Bdubs’ voice is steady, and before Etho can back away, Bdubs reaches forward one more time, arms outstretched. “Etho, look at me.”

He doesn’t. He can’t. How could he look into the eyes of someone he’s practically been the death of? What if Bdubs’ eyes are dead and empty, and–

“Etho… please look at me,” Bdubs repeats, and Etho catches the tinge of hurt in his voice this time.

He can’t hurt Bdubs anymore.

Achingly slow, Etho raises his head to finally look his Bdubs in the eyes. He’s expecting them to be empty, uncaring, and probably full of deserved hatred.

Instead, he’s met with the same warmth Bdubs has always reserved for him, the same adoration Etho first recognized back on another world. Big brown eyes gaze at him, filled with more love than Etho has ever deserved.

“You’re stupid if you think that I’m just gonna stop lovin’ you,” Bdubs smiles, slightly watery, and Etho feels the same ecstatic rush he always does when Bdubs’ looks at him.

He shouldn’t, oh, he shouldn’t, he doesn’t deserve it at all.

“C’mere, sweetheart,” Bdubs nods encouragingly. “Let me love you, please.”

That’s what makes Etho break, makes him lurch forward into Bdubs’ waiting arms. It’s not the first time he’s had a nightmare, and he’s sure it won’t be the last. It’s not a perfect hug, but he curls his fingers into Bdubs’ shirt, falling into his arms desperately. Bdubs tilts Etho’s head up, and Etho feels like he’s flying in the sky with the way Bdubs looks at him so utterly filled with love. There’s no hatred to be found, and Etho knows despite his imperfections and selfishness and mistakes, Bdubs still loves him.

Bdubs shifts so that one of his hands can rest in Etho’s hair, and he runs his hand through it, detangling the strands from where it’s become knots and a mess. Once he’s done, Etho can feel him playing with a part of it, forming the tiniest braid at the nape of his neck.

It’s been a long time since Bdubs has done that. Etho knows Bdubs should have a braid of his own, around the back of his head. It’s a promise, and Etho knows that this time he’ll keep it.

He’s high up, higher than his imperfections, and it hurts to know the love Bdubs has for him. It consumes him, he doesn’t deserve it, and yet–

Etho thinks he can learn to live with it, and he lets Bdubs love him, lets Bdubs press his lips against Etho’s in reassurance.

but when you look at me i’m lifted high up

higher than my rain clouds

sitting on the mountain now i’m high up

never wanna come down

when you look at me i’m lifted

…

you saw me cowered in the corner

& offered me a second chance

now every night i wrestle Love

didn’t know that it could hurt this much

[elfcollector]

You can assume I’m generally aware there’s a war on, Commander!

[drabsyo]

been thinking about that post war, first rain in ranoch kiss with tali and femshep ❤

[tunastime]

On Life Series Season 4

for those of you who voted for jimmy and tango: this is for you.

also known as: I have very complex thoughts about rancher reunion for season 4 and monolith is a group of known enablers. 

(1545 words)

It’s the end of the world. Or, at least, it feels like it.

The grass is green and the sky is orange and red and Jimmy Solidarity is alone. He’s standing, half-stilted, leaning hard against the weight of the sword in his hands. It’s stone, just like the building. The rough cobbles form a tower. A defense. It’s all he’s got, here, in another death game. He’s got that, and another chance to die for nothing.

He tries to breathe normally, like he’s taught himself to keep level headed. It’s not doing much, considering that Jimmy feels something odd and aching boiling over in his chest. He feels like an unwatched pot, tipping over his lid, and his arms shake with it. It’s a feeling that pools in his wrists and the back of his knees, sharp and prickly. He can taste something vile in the back of his mouth. Words, laughter, bile. He isn’t sure.

It’s darkening. His building is on fire.

“Jimmy!”

It’s a voice he’s memorized. Gravel on the low notes. Whispers in the middle. Footsteps in the dirt. He thinks there might be blood under his nails, but he thinks it might also be soil, because nothing smells like blood and nothing about him stings. The voice that cuts through the dusk is too familiar, too safe. He staggers.

Jimmy’s house isn’t on fire, he is. He feels it coiling in his chest, licking at the inside of his lungs, hot, too hot, or maybe not hot enough. If he breathes out he fears it might be smoke. His hands are shaking. He swallows. He can’t make his lungs inflate.

Part of him thinks he deserves this, to know he’s mocked from the start, because he can remember the words about his house, about the rumors around him, he can remember the anger boiling up to an overflow. His house is burning. He made it out of stone this time. That wouldn’t burn, he thought. But his hands are hot. There were words he said, isn’t there? Things that punched out of him as soon as he saw a familiar face that had to crane to meet his eye again. What was it that he said, when he ran into Scar first? Joel? When they told him good luck both times? Was it something cruel to match the curling in his chest? Was it the brief glee on Joel’s face, knowing he got under his skin, that made him snap back? Who else was there?

There are other words being said to him.

What happened back there? I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Someone said you nearly punched Joel? And Scar? Jimmy—

Feet on the grass. He’s not there though, on that hillside with Joel, not anymore. He’s staring wide-eyed into bright red eyes, arms stretched out, a perspective that forces him to look at only him, at Tango in front of him. 

It’s Tango, terrified. It’s Tango, and Jimmy can swear he can feel Tango’s heart thudding away helplessly in his own chest. It’s Tango, and for a moment he feels like his hands are burning and that the noise is deafening around him. 

Except there is no noise. He fights to get forward, lands himself into Tango’s shoulder, hears the audible thud and oof as he does, as Tango digs his heels into the earth and refuses to be pushed aside. Tango pushes him back, trying to hold him steady.

“Jimmy—that wasn’t—this isn’t you,” Tango says, and his voice borders on confusion, on despair. Jimmy makes a noise somewhere half in his chest in response. “Snap out of it.”

“He’s just—he—he’s—” Jimmy struggles for a moment, squirming against the arm that holds his elbow. He didn’t see Joel like Tango did, scared and alone. He was the sneer over a wall Joel built. He was feeling himself picked up by the scruff, unable to fight back. He was watching a town crumble and it wasn’t even his fault. He was bleeding out on a bridge and someone was laughing. It’s gloating, it’s—someone is laughing and it isn’t Tango and it isn’t him. 

Jimmy struggles. Why is Tango stopping him? Isn’t this what he should be doing? Standing up for himself? Jimmy deflates. Wouldn’t Tango be proud of him? Isn’t this what he wants? Every nerve in his body feels like it’s lit up, hair standing on end. Something watches (it isn’t Tango, and it isn’t him.)

“This isn’t you,” Tango manages. 

Jimmy feels himself pushed back, but the hands are firm on his shoulders as his arms start to ache. His shoulder feels aflame where Tango holds it, warmth spreading from one point of contact through his muscles. He’s looking at Tango now, just for a fraction of a second before looking away, not able to hold his eye. His vision isn’t clear. It goes fuzzy around the edges, unfocused like he might be drifting off into space. He’s seeing bright red eyes under the brim of a hat. He’s seeing blue flames across the way. There’s someone in the pocket of his side and he is safe. 

He takes what feels like the first breath of air in a long minute and his mouth doesn’t taste like smoke. He feels a hand peel from his shoulder, something that slides up to his face. It cradles his jaw in one warm palm, then two, fingers curling around the shell of his ears. He blinks, even has his vision blurs completely. The back of his throat burns. He feels like his nose is pinched shut. He swallows, and it takes everything in him to focus on the warmth of the hands over his cheeks.

“Jimmy, look at me. Look at me,” Tango’s voice tugs at him, firm. He lets his eyes drift back to a face that he knows. Tango’s eyes are wide, eyebrows upturned, lips in a fine line. He’s swaying, maybe not on purpose. He’s shivering, maybe not on purpose. The sky was never burning, it was just red. Jimmy feels his weight start to drop. It’s Tango. It’s Tango.

“It’s me, it’s Tango, your rancher,” he watches the wisp of a smile form on Tango’s face, through the wobble in his voice. He inhales sharply. “Remember?”

Cows! a voice calls from the doorway as Jimmy tries to circumnavigate the small herd chewing at the bundle of hay in his hand, on the sleeve of his shirt. This was many months ago. This was the first instance. There comes a day where Jimmy will sit a little too close and Tango will decide to slot himself in the curve of his arm at night and soon enough one bed was enough space and too much all at once. Hands fitting hands. Arms fitting around shoulders. We’ll rebuild, his voice says, to wipe the look of desolation from his rancher’s face as they stand in the broken husk of a house. It was never the home, anyway, was it? It was the people inside.

Something in Jimmy’s chest twists the strings of his heart in a knot. He sees Tango expression wavers as he shuts his eyes, swaying forward. He only manages a breath before it breaks.

Jimmy collapses into his arms and the smell of burnt matches is like coming home.

Tango sags with him, sinking them to the ground. Jimmy presses his face into the side of his neck, and safe, held close, he cries. It’s a horrible sound, one that pulls from him brokenly as he buries himself in Tango’s arms. He chokes on the sob.

“It’s empty,” he says, and the words are haunting and choked into his shoulder. Tango holds to the back of his neck, to the base of his spine, even as Jimmy’s hands tangle uselessly in his sweater. It’s all Jimmy can manage. He repeats it in the inhale that he takes: It’s empty. I’m alone.

Tumble Town is empty, and he knows it’s his fault.

Or maybe it isn't. Because what else could he have done, except convince them to stay? What could’ve been done that hadn’t been already, that he hadn’t already tried? What could he have done that would’ve made any difference, anyway, besides leaving himself?

Jimmy cries. Tango’s hands run up the base of his spine. They pull Jimmy to him, holding him close, holding him tight. Tango’s voice is a barely audible thing, through the gasps for air, between the calculated inhales and exhales Tango tries to have him copy. He repeats it like a mantra, pressed into the side of his head, into his hairline: “You’re not alone, I’m here.”

I’m here now and I won’t leave. Your home won’t be empty and your hearth won’t be cold. Your arms won’t be empty and your chest won’t be cold. I’m here.

Tango holds him in the grass and the dirt. Even when the sky is no longer pink and orange, even when the stars have started to peek out in the blue that blends with the fringes of sunset.

If only by one person, he is loved. 

Jimmy breathes.

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF SHENKO 1/?

The end of the world has a way of reminding you of all the things you forgot to say do. Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)

[herrshepard]

'I am yours'

Mass Effect gifs 4/*

[buckycap]

where’s that post that said no character romance has come anywhere close to alistair’s in dao bc they were sooo right for that

[puppypaw-wc]

love the clangen clan i made last night. i say clan but with the lore i came up with for them they're just a bunch of loners in a group together who were former kittypets/rogues or loners who decided to join/that kinda stuff. using a mod (kind of mod???) someone in the discord made that just gives the cats rogue/loner/kittypet names.

i love all the kitties i started with and the lore i made for them my favorites are probably buddy (she's a daylight warrior p much and also one of the medics. and the only medic as of the last moon, rip alder- she likes rambling about twoleg stuff :3), ripple and shep (bonded pair of former kittypets who were abandoned by their twolegs 😔 seemingly. no one's sure they were babies so-), mitzi and snowbell (their lore's not super exciting but they be lesbians and i love them. also mitzi kept killing ripple i literally had to lower her hate for him in the game files because otherwise she'd just kill him no matter how many times i reset-). here's the forum post for them for anyone who's in the discord server, i love these silly kitties v much. :3

[shepards-folly]

A wc!birdsibs doodle cause they’ve been in my head. [alt without the wet cat text under the cut]

[astorythatwritesitself]

So through the ME1 play it kinda turned into 'oh wow Adrian really hates the mind-meld shit' and I'm just now realizing ohhhhh Samara's loyalty mission is gonna fuck her up even harder.

[oh-snapperss]

A Resistance AU inspired playlist because brainrot is real

Bruno is Orange - Hop Along

Good For You - Dear Evan Hansen

I Knew You Once - Hollie Allen

Congratulations/ Burn - Hamilton

Your Sister Was Right - Wilbur Soot

It’s My Party - Lesley Gore

Water Fountain - Alex Benjamin

Traitor - Olivia Rodrigo

Hero/Villain Duet - Backseat Vagabod (the YouTube version is better trust me)

Mr Loverman - Ricky Montgomery

Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery

Like Real People Do - Hozier

Just some stuff I’ve been thinking about :)

hi hello sorry this took me so long to answer! been quite sick and I wanted to listen to all these with a clear mind:D

GOD. you absolutely NAILED most of these and gave all of us emotional damage. I would say the only songs I slightly disagree with are Congratulations, and Your Sister Was Right. The vibes are there but the lyrics don't quite fit in my personal opinion (and of course that's just me!)

but JFC I Knew You Once, Hero/Villian Duet, It's My Party and Good for You especially stick out here, I LOVE how well those fit and if I had time I would go on full analyze mode on those songs within the au. I've added these to the playlist!:D

thank you so much for the recs! I adore asks like these so much.

[deep-space-lines]

so… Mass Effect. good game huh

Prints of this, as well as a few other Mass Effect stained glass pieces, are now available! I'd love to see/hear about it if you order any, it would make my day <3

This one, Mordin, and Tali are the only ones currently finished, but I have plans to do a few other characters as well; you can check out the #mass effect stained glass tag on my blog to see the others, if they happen to exist when you come across this post.

…side note I’m aware the armor is not an exact match to femshep’s mass effect 1 armor but here’s the thing: I hate the boob plate and it is stupid. I reject reality and replace it with my own where shep gets normal armor <3

[boo-moved]

Oooooooh alt endings to games where the protagonist dies either after living out their dreams or at the fault of their own character flaws

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF PRIORITY: MARS (PART 1)

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Maj. Kaidan Alenko, Lt. James Vega, and Dr. Liara T'Soni Sophie, I don't know what you are- or who. Not since Cerberus rebuilt you. For all I know, you could be their puppet- controlled by The Illusive Man himself. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

[dragonrider9905]

Infectious Love

Summery: After a failed, almost confession of love, you and Hunter's relationship is skating on thin ice...that is, until someone falls through (or gets stabbed in the gut), so to speak.

Warnings: Angst, lots of it, but comfort too. Lots of emotions. Mentions of blood and sickness.

Hellooooooooo @imaginesfordifferentfandoms tis I, your Secret Santa in the @cloneficgiftexchange!!!!! I really, really, hope you like it. I worked really hard on it ;D So I hope it turned out the way I imagined it in my head ;D Enjoy this kinda longish drabble XD Hehehehe now you understand all the questions I asked. I hope you don't mind I went with Hunter. You seemed to not mind any of them; he's my favorite so I know I can get carried away :D and I wanted to make sure the story was nice! Also, I gave Hunter's scarf a destiny. A fate. A sense of purpose. We now know what happened to it. I have spoken.

Furthermore, I'd like to throw a huge shout out to some people who deserve it. Firstly, @ghostofskywalker. Thank you so much for organizing this event and all the other ones like it. They are always so much fun and I enjoy them immensely. It is safe to say the others who join feel the same way. Thank you for all the hard work you put into it all! Also, thank you to @photogirl894 for being an awesome beta reader and supportive friend. I don't know if I would have finished this fic on time if she hadn't helped me through all the rough spots by her encouraging words. Bestie, you read everything but the ending...I hope you like it <3

The decree is written, now, let the story unfold.

“As a father, you couldn’t ask for a better place to raise a child.”

You’d heard Shep say these words to Hunter your first day on Pabu, and you had to admit, it made your heart flutter a little bit. You’d fallen hard for Hunter a long time ago but duty always got in the way. At first, you hadn’t realized just how much you cared for him during the Clone War, serving as their medic, until Hunter received a shot in the chest. It was then that you realized, or rather were honest with yourself, that your friendship was always more than just a friendship. Almost losing him gave you a clarity and an honesty with yourself that you needed, but that didn’t make things easy. In fact, they made them harder.

Because now you knew how YOU felt, but you had NO IDEA how he felt. Every day, you’d face a new challenge, a new battle, overcome insurmountable odds against the Separatists on top secret missions and won. Every night, you’d have a heart to heart with Hunter, talking about things that made him laugh, made you laugh, things that made you cry, or things that upset him. 

But never unburying that heavy secret locked away in your heart. 

You considered yourself brave in many aspects but not when it came to problems with the heart. You could tell Hunter anything and everything, except how you felt about him. Instead, you’d find little things every day to show him you loved him. You’d fix his caf the way he liked it, you’d make sure the others were considerate of his sense, you listened to him when he wanted to rant, you showed him you trusted him. You were his shoulder to lean on, his unofficial right hand man. Technically, Crosshair filled those shoes but not always. You tried to be the head of reason when the boys fought and patched them up when they were done arguing. 

Then the Clone War ended with fateful Order 66. Your world turned upside down and even though circumstances were different, your situation was the same. 

That secret would have to be pried out of your cold dead hands. 

You’d been on the run, constantly in fear for your lives and that of the child in your care. You’d started to love her as your own daughter, and you could see Hunter did too. You’d seen Hunter with Cut and Suu’s children before, but somehow, this was different. He’d cared for her as a father would. And that made your heart melt more than you ever thought it could. 

Now, here on Pabu, having something that resembled peace and a chance at a life, was it time? Could you actually have the dream you despaired of. The dream which was a nightly comfort but in the morning seemed unreachable as something you thought you couldn’t hope for? 

Shep’s words teased you. Taunted you. Pried at you. 

Perhaps, perhaps it was time to open your heart? 

“So have you reconsidered staying?”

“For soldiers, putting down roots is an occupational hazard.” 

“Is that all you are? Soldiers?”

You’d seen the thoughtful look on Hunter’s face. It was the one he made when he was considering something. There was no contention, just thoughtful pondering. 

Somehow, some way, that moment spurred you and you worked up the courage. 

Hunter sat in the cockpit, swirling his knife. You approached and leaned against the door. You’d love to sit there and watch that for hours. You smiled a little to yourself, waiting for him to recognize your presence so as to not scare him into a mistake (not that he’d ever but…better be safe than sorry.) 

“Echo said he’s on his way. Will be here in a few rotations.” he said without looking up. “Omega will be glad to see him.”

“Yeah, she misses him, the poor kid.”

Sheaving his knife, he turned to you. 

“So, what can I help you with?”

“Oh, you know, just checking in on my Sargeant. You’ve been in here all day.” You placed some fruit native to Pabu in front of him. You never could remember the name, but you’d noticed he liked them. 

“Thanks,” he gave half a smile while you took the seat next to him. “What kind of trouble are Wrecker and Omega getting into?”

“Ohhhh probably best not to know right now. Just enjoy the few moments of peace while you can.”

He chuckled and cut into the fruit.

“Soooooo” your heart pounded. You were actually going to do it. You got this…just had to breathe and remain steady, it’d be ok. 

Hunter gave you a side eye, silently offering you a piece of the fruit. Kriff, he can tell. You tried to slow your heart best you could. 

“So.” He prompted you.

You laughed. “I heard Shep the other day. Something about settling down…ever think about it?”

He sighed. “More than you know. I honestly don’t know what to do about it. I’d like to but… It’s … complicated.”

“Ever think about marrying a pretty woman and having a family? Raising Omega somewhere safe where she’d be happy…”

He huffed a little. 

“Who’d I marry? Please don’t suggest the woman Wrecker’s friend was trying to set me up with.” 

At the words, the muscles in your face felt heavy and turned sour. The twinkle in your eye went out and the joy in your demeanor dissolved. 

An empty smile remained on your face. No indication to the outsider that anything had changed. But Hunter wasn’t an outsider. He knew you inside and out. 

Who’d I marry? You weren’t even a consideration. You weren’t on the list. Of course you wouldn’t be. It’d be foolish for you to think that. Why’d you hope in the first place? You should have known better. 

Swallowing hard, you bit back tears and forced a laugh. 

You had Hunter’s full attention now. He sat up straight and leaned forward a bit. 

He immediately sensed the change of demeanor. Your heart rate plummeted but beat hard. Your focus was gone, staring into nothing. Even if it was just for a millisecond, he’d have noticed it, but it lasted longer than that. 

Your hollow laugh filled the cabin.   

He knew he messed up.

Hunter moved to speak again but it was too late. You’d gotten up and moved toward the door. 

“Well um, I should go check on Omega and Wrecker and see what they’re up to before they do too much damage. Yeah, yeah…”

The next moment you were out of the cabin and down the ramp without a second look behind you. 

Kriff. He had to fix this. 

He almost went after you. He almost made it out the ship, but an incoming transmission stopped him. This could be the one he was waiting for. He looked longingly out to where he saw you hugging yourself, making your way slowly across the shipyard, and went back inside the ship. 

Kark it all. This’d better be important, Echo.

Tech was gone. Omega was taken. Crosshair a prisoner. Echo abandoned them, again. It was just you, Wrecker and Hunter now. A ship once filled to bursting with life and light, warm with the love and laughter shared between its walls, was now cold with an emptiness, a magnanimous devoid maw that the ship had never known before. 

Tech was dead. Crosshair was gone. Omega was taken. 

He was lost. 

Hunter might as well have added you to the list of lost as well, because even though you were physically on the ship, you weren’t with him. You were distant. Gone. In every way possible other than physical. You’d done your best to keep Wrecker and himself together. You’d been the same insurmountable strength you’d always been for them to lean on. You were being the strong one for them because you knew they couldn’t right now. He was angry, frustrated, focused and lost all in one but didn’t know where to direct that energy. As always, you came through. You acted the same as how you did throughout the entire Clone War, except not. The actions were all there, but there was a lost life to it. 

A lost love. 

And it was his fault. 

Though you were strong, you weren’t invincible. 

During the day you’d serve them. Got them food, made sure they rested, used every resource imaginable to find the little lost loved one. You tried to make them laugh and smile if you could or focus on the task at hand. Completing small missions to get by was his bane, because all Hunter wanted to do was find Omega, but you brought him back to the present, reeled in his reckless side when it got to be too much. You kept track of the inventory and how and when to push on. 

But every night he’d hear you silently cry yourself to sleep. 

You’d go and comfort Wrecker, then you’d offer the best gesture you could to him to encourage him, then you’d retire to your bed, broken down by the day. Tired, exhausted, empty. 

He saw it. And he caused it. 

And he hated himself for it. 

He’d lost you in a hasty, foolish sentence. One he’d said without much forethought. One he said because he was afraid if he’d said too much, or given any indication of the deeper feelings he had for you, you’d have rejected him and he’d lose you entirely. He thought he could be your friend. You deserved so much more. So much more than himself and what he could offer. He’d wanted to stay your friend so that way, even though he couldn’t have you, you’d be happy. He’d make sure that whoever he was, the man you’d marry would give you all the love he couldn’t. 

Turns out he was wrong.  

You did return his feelings and he broke you.

He should have gone after you, but he didn’t. He thought he’d have time. He thought he could do it when you’d return to the ship and he could sit down with you uninterrupted but he was wrong, so wrong. Echo arrived and in moments, though he didn’t know it, his life turned upside down. When the mission was declared, his focus turned to that. 

He should have talked to you. He should have let you know how he felt. 

But the manner of your hurt shifted. You were no longer hurt, but cold. 

Perhaps you didn’t want him to love you anymore. He didn’t know what to do. So much was wrong. So much that shouldn’t have been, was now his reality. 

In truth, you DID deserve more than him. Perhaps this was for the best. This hurt would pass and you’d meet the one you were supposed to be with. You could get over this fancy for him and live an actual life with someone else. 

The thought made his stomach churn and threatened to vomit, but perhaps, that’s what was meant to be. 

After all, sometimes to love someone you had to let them go. And Omega, she needed him right now, fully focused on nothing else but finding her. 

It was late in the night watch, Hunter sat alone staring at the broken pair of goggles and a plush toy that belonged to the child of the ship. His child, not by blood but by choice. 

Taken from him in a cruel twist of fate. 

He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. Hunter wasn’t normally one for crying but he felt close to it now. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew Omega took priority over himself. He HAD to find her. Bring her home. Oh Force, what was Hemlock doing to her?

He felt his head start to pound and his brow furrowed. 

It hurt so much to love. This was love, wasn’t it? After all, what would he know? All he knew of it was what was in the novels and holofilms…

Something cold touched his head and he jumped in surprise. Opening his eyes, he found you had taken a few steps back surprised, with a blanket and an ice pack in hand. 

It didn’t go unnoticed you’d had the scent of fresh tears on your hands. 

“I’m sorry, I thought you were in one of your uncomfortable sleep cycles.” You offered gently. “You looked like you had a headache so I brought you this.” You shook the ice pack. 

Hunter sat up and rubbed his head. “I…can’t sleep.”

He looked down. It was so hard to keep your gaze. His throat tightened and tears sprung against his will. All he could do was sigh, long and heavy. 

Hunter was silent, not knowing what to say. He tried opening his mouth a few times but closed it at every attempt, frustrated. 

You slowly drew near him, considerate as you always were. Giving him a chance to stop you if he wanted or needed, but he didn’t. You crouched down in front of him and took his hands. 

A shock of surprise sprung his head up immediately and sent a shiver through his body. His brain registered your hands were cold and instinctively he moved to warm them, covering them completely with his own. But his mind was fully focused on your face. 

Your eyes glittered with unshed tears and your mouth had a half, crooked smile. A ghost of the one you’d had before. But there was something in your gaze he’d missed, he’d longed for. 

It was ‘that’ look. 

You hadn't looked at him like that in a long time. 

There was a warmth and a love aflame. A gentleness that hadn’t been there these long past few weeks.  

If eyes were truly the window to the soul, he’d seen that the embers were dying, but not gone. 

You squeezed his hand. 

“We’ll find her. I promise.” 

There was such a conviction in your voice, determination. A rawness that almost freighted him. A testament to the power you had. The power of your will and spirit. The power of your determination. One of the reasons he loved you so much. One of the elements in your looks that he yearned to see again after missing it for so long. 

He squeezed your hands. 

“Thank you for everything.” He swallowed hard, voice now scratchy and sore. 

You nodded and stood, pulling your hands from his. You placed the pack on his forehead and placed the blanket on him in two swift motions and made to go. You were fast, but not too fast for him. You’d tried to retreat, but Hunter jumped and grabbed your arms, centering you to himself. 

A surprised look crossed your face and he saw you searching him, wondering. 

“We need to talk.”

You looked away, tears starting to gather again, a breath catching in your throat wanting to break free. 

Hunter cupped your face with his hand and slowly, softly turned your gaze back to him. 

“Please.”

You nodded, but then looked away again. 

“Ok, but not now.” Your voice was heavy and empty. That void look entered your eyes, extinguishing the flame that was there before. 

“No, you should get some sleep, you look exhausted. You’re always looking after us. Tonight, take care of yourself, yeah?” He rubbed his thumb against your cheek, whipping away a tear that escaped. “Tomorrow.”

You nodded. “Tomorrow.”  

Lifting the blanket you’d brought for him, Hunter placed it over your shoulders with a reassuring squeeze then turned back to his chair, cradling the ice pack to his forehead. 

Tomorrow came, but started off all wrong. Emergency lights flashed and sirens blared. The Marauder made an emergency landing on the treacherous mountainous planet below. The hyperdrive malfunctioned and threw you out of hyperspace. It was a tumultuous, uncontrolled landing but Hunter managed with minimal damage to the exterior of the ship. The haul was a little banged up, but other than that, the smoking hyperdrive was the focus of your concern.

There was no Tech to fix the ship now. You were on your own.

“Do you think you can fix it?” Hunter looked at you worriedly. You’d helped Tech plenty of times in the past. You considered yourself pretty capable with all the training you received from him. 

Taking a look around, you carefully considered. 

“I think so, but it’s going to take time. This superficial stuff I’m not too worried about. We’ll have to make port somewhere soon anyway for supplies. We’re low on everything.” You’d been looking at the inventory the last few days and the lists were concerning. “I think we have enough credits to get by until we can do a job and earn more.” You rubbed your forehead. “I’ve been running numbers on how to keep ourselves sustained without needing to distract ourselves from our mission with a whole bunch of side missions anymore. I think it’ll work but you’re going to have to trust me. But I digress. I’ll patch up the hyperdrive which seems to be the main problem. I’ve got a weird feeling about this place, I don’t want to be here too long. Weather might not hold out for extensive repairs either.”

“Alright, we’ll discuss this when I get back. I’ll scout the area and see what we’re dealing with.” Hunter turned to leave, then paused. Half looking back he spoke: “And, I do. Trust you, I mean.” 

With that he put his helmet on and shouted to Wrecker. 

“Keep her safe. I’ll be right back.”

It’d been an hour. And Hunter wasn’t back. 

Whipping the sweat from your forehead you heaved a big breath.

“I think that’ll do it Wreck. Where’s Hunt?” 

Wrecker looked nervous. “Not back yet.” 

You looked at your wrist chrono and raised your eyebrows in surprise. Highly unusual.

“Ok, I’ll go look for him. Protect the ship.” 

“We should stay together.” Wrecker added quickly, “I’ll come with you.”

“I would like that too but at this moment that’s a luxury we can’t afford. We have to split up.”

Wrecker groaned. “Bad things ALWAYS happen when we split up.”

You softened and patted his shoulder comfortingly. 

“I know, big guy, I know. But the less we argue, the sooner we get Hunt back.”

Wrecker paused and nodded. “Ok.” He sighed and took his place by the ramp of the ship. “And…..it’s good to hear you call Hunter, Hunt again…”he trailed off uncertainly, “but it’s kinda making me scared. You think he’s….?” 

Your heart clenched in realization. You didn’t think how your hurt would shed and affect others. “Oh Wrecker….” You started but he stopped you. 

“Aw Doc, I am just worried about ya. You two always meshed together, you know? So when you didn’t, and now get soft again…” He shook his head. “Get Hunter back, and everything will be ok, yeah?”

“Yeah, it will. I promise.” You started off your sentence quaking but with every word you found your conviction. It was time to go. 

“I hope you two can work things out. I always liked it that way, ya know?”

You smiled, “Yeah I do actually, and I did too.”

“Well, do you think that … whatever happened…you two can fix it?”

Your smile faltered a little bit but Wrecker didn’t see that. Really, only Hunter would have been the one to notice.

“I’ll do my best.”

With one last nod to Wrecker, you set out.

You weren’t exceptional at tracking but Hunter taught you a thing or two. 

It was time to bring Hunter home.

Hunter skirted the edge of the cliff carefully. His foot set a few loose rocks tumbling into the unknown. Knife unsheathed and corned against the endless void beneath him, he glared at his enemy. Hunter met these villains almost as soon as he left the ship. It didn’t take him long to realize their harmful intentions and led them away from the ship, hoping to buy you as much time as he could to fix the ship. He’d taken out ten of these bandits already, but this one was of a higher status, he could tell by the large hat he wore and more expensive weapons he possessed. He’d be more of a challenge but that would only make it more fun. 

Hunter growled and lifted his knife in the ready. Blood and sweat dripped from his face from the few scratches and scrapes he had. 

He was prepared for anything.

“Get away from him!” An agonized voice filled with terror screamed. 

Your voice. 

Hunter’s heart dropped to his stomach and for the first time since the crash, terror entered his veins. He was prepared for everything, except that.

Garnishing your blade, you swiped the air to show the mysterious stranger you were serious. “Leave him alone!”

Hunter’s throat closed up. You didn’t have your blaster, and while still decent with the blade, you weren’t ready for this yet. He hadn’t finished your training. 

“Meshla, no!” 

Hunter reached out, distracted only for a moment but a moment is all it took. In the second he tried to get in between you and the enemy, a kick to his stomach sent Hunter over the side

“Hunter!” You screamed after him in terror. 

What you didn’t see was the flip he made or how he grappled onto the rock. If only you had the enhanced senses he did, you might have heard his hard breathing, the uneven sob, and the continuous prayer that somehow you could live long enough for him to get to you. 

His heart pounded. He wanted to call for you but that’d only make things worse for you. He grunted as silently as he could. He had to get to you. 

He heard your angry grunts, the slices of knives through the air, missing their marks. He heard you yelling unintelligibly and savagely. The man’s gleeful laughter. 

Your painful cry.

No

Those were some of the longest seconds of his life. What happened? He tried to climb faster but the rock was so slippery.

Watching Hunter get shot. Finding him shot again in the same place all this time later by Cad Bane, and now seeing Hunter tumble over the edge was more than you could handle. Anger like you’d never felt it bubbling all over you, tingling your fingers and guiding your blade’s every movement with hardened focus.

No, you couldn’t lose him like this. You wouldn’t. The man was quick, practiced. But you��d had a good teacher. Now wasn’t the time to doubt. Sure, you wished your blaster had survived the raid on Ord Mantel but there was nothing you could do about that except replace it when you made port.

You tumbled, dived, parried. This demon wouldn’t win. He made a hit on your arm and you cried out. The evil, smug smile he had was enough to refocus you instantly. Jumping for him unexpectedly, you caught him by surprise. You pushed your entire body against his in a close roll.

And your blade found a home in his heart. 

Breathing hard, it took you a moment to realize…you’d won. You defeated him! Hunter would be so proud.

Hunter!

Diving for the cliff, you slid toward the edge. 

“Hunter? Hunter!”

Hunter looked up at you, face hidden behind his visor but all the emotions were spilling from his mouth. “Are you ok? Mesh’la, what the karking hells?”

“Grab my hand!” Ignoring him, you reached down. “I’ll pull you up.” 

Hunter clasped your hand but you let out a cry of agony. Collapsing in a heaping pile. You were shaking but your grip held firm.

“Mesh’la…” 

“Don’t you dare let go. Don’t you dare.” Your demand was dry and forceful, but fear spilled from every word. “Please.” Your plea was soft, broken.

“Alright.” He tightened his grip.

Tears streamed down your face as you panted, hulling him up. Hunter seemed so heavy. You’d done exercises like this before and it was a lot easier. Hunter seemed to notice your lack of strength too.

You pulled and heaved and scooted and rolled until you managed to get his body over the lump. Immediately, Hunter started his barrage on you in between heaving breaths of his own.

“What were you thinking? Don’t you know you could have gotten yourself killed?”

You got to your feet and brushed yourself off, head dizzy with emotion and adrenaline.

“Do you,” you panted, “have any idea what you did to me? Don’t start with me…”

“Oh honey, just wait until I get started—“ 

You turned to look at Hunter who also had gotten to his feet, the words registering, but sounding quite distant. Was he yelling? You weren't sure. Suddenly, your breath was knocked from your lungs and a sharp pain invaded your entire body. 

Falling to your knees, you clutched your side to find it wet and sticky, and warm. You didn't need to pull your hand away to look at it to know there was blood, yet that's what you did, and you were shocked nevertheless to find the red, sticky substance on your hands. Gasping with wide eyes, you missed Hunter’s cry of alarm.  

“You’re bleeding!”

Hunter ran over to you and caught you as you crumpled to the ground in pain. Gathering you to himself, he rested your body against his.

Tearing off his scarf from around his neck, Hunter pressed it to your wound.

“You’re losing so much blood.”

“Nah, I know exactly where it is. Here, there, and a little over there.”

“Not funny.”

“I thought it was.” you faintly chuckled. 

With a dark look, he cut the red fabric into strips and bound your abdomen tightly. 

“I’ll get you back to the ship as soon as I can, just hold on for me ok?” 

You nodded but your eyes now felt so heavy. You just wanted to sleep. 

Scooping you up, Hunter started at a full run. 

The bouncing hurt. Every pounding bounce sent fire mixed with ice through your body. Your head rolled back and your eyes shut.

“Hey, hey, cyare, look at me. Look at me! Don’t give up on me yet, please.” 

Hunter came in running. 

“Wrecker! Wrecker! Get the ship started, we’re leaving NOW!”

Wrecker didn’t miss a beat. He saw you dangling limpless in Hunter’s arms and dashed up the walkway. Wrecker tore through the room, doing the start up sequences as fast as he could then meeting Hunter in the gangway, he threw the med kit at him. 

Back in the cockpit, Wrecker took the controls. 

Placing you in his bed, Hunter slapped your face.

“I know you’re in there, wake up! Wake up! Don’t leave me now, I need you. I can’t do this without you. Omega is depending on you. You’re stronger than this, come on!”

Injecting you quickly with a stim and re-wrapping your wounds, Hunter frantically chaffed your wrists until your eyes fluttered open. 

“Hunter?” You were looking around, trying to sit up. 

“Hey, hey don’t get up.” He placed a hand on your forehead, then your pulse points. He felt you slowly but surely starting to equalize. “Just rest for a bit, ok? I’m going to stay right here if you need anything.” He pulled up a chair next to you. 

“I’m ok,” you smiled weakly, “I was so scared when I saw those tracks. I thought I’d lost you again. But you’re ok, and that’s all that matters to me.” You squeezed his hand, then let the darkness take you.

All was still and dark. The Marauder gently rocked in what would pass for the early hours of the morning, if there really could be a morning or night in space. 

All was still and quiet inside the Marauder. Wrecker was by the controls watching the ship’s course and motion beacons, Hunter was fast asleep, leaned over the bed and holding your hand. 

You on the other hand were restless. Buckets of sweat fell from your forehead. Dizzy and disoriented, even laying down, a nauseous feeling crept up your stomach into your throat. 

You wormed your hand out of Hunters, not wanting to wake him. It’d been too long since he’d gotten any sleep at all and at last the complete and utter exhaustion took him over. You pushed on the bed, attempting and failing to drag yourself up. 

You glanced at Hunter, considering only for a moment, then resurfaced your determination. No, you’d let him rest. You could do this. Grasping the blanket’s cocooning you, you attempted to untangle the heavy sheet entwining you. It was so heavy, suffocating. 

With a heaving breath, you pushed your feet off the bed and lunged your body forward.

You were standing. 

But as soon as you got up, you realized your mistake. The ship spun and the dull aches over your body were awakened. Your stomach’s pain blew its trumpet and your ears felt like balloons that were going to pop. You must have swallowed marbles because there was barely any room in your throat. 

Oh well, you could only push forward. 

Stumbling into the bathroom, you turned on the cold water. Perhaps that would help. 

The first thing Hunter noticed was his hand was cold and clammy. The lack of warmth left a devoid and empty feeling embedded with a nervous foreboding. 

Next came the darkness, which became a haze, and that haze turned into a bubble as he fought he was to consciousness. The bed in front of him was empty and Hunter could vaguely make out the things around him, noises indecipherable. He thought he heard trudging of feet scraping against the floor, the turning of a facet with the gush of water, then a loud crash, and thud with a BAM!

Instantly his body was alert. Dashing toward the source of the sound, he knew subconsciously what he’d find. Your body on the floor, sprawled out and drained. Your face was pale as death, eyes hollow. You didn’t look like this a few hours ago? 

“Mesh’la? mesh’la! what happened? Did you hit your head? Why are you up?” A thousand questions spilled from his mouth in worry. 

Worming his body behind yours, he gathered you up gently. You mumbled something that was lost even to his hearing. 

Concerned, Hunter removed his gloves, and placed them on your face. 

You leaned into his warmth, shivering, unable to get warm, yet your skin felt like fire to him. You were burning. Beads of sweat danced on your forehead as large as the tears that fell from your eyes.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Cradling you now, he carefully wrapped himself around your body. This allowed you to curl in on yourself and tuck yourself in further to his chest.

“‘M sry.”

Kriff, you could barely speak. 

“Don’t be sorry. I got you now.”

“Hunter, I-I can’t hear you too well.”

A wall of realization hit him hard. Kark it, he knew what happened. 

The fever, the swelling, the loss of balance and your voice, not to mention your hearing? 

You had an infection. 

Fear invaded Hunter’s senses. He’d never been sick like this, having super immune genetics (one thing to thank the long necks for he supposed). But now, how could he help if he didn’t know what you were going through exactly? 

This wasn’t the first time you were sick like this. He remembered the story you told of your childhood, and how one winter, you fell through the ice which resulted in something like this. The incident left you vulnerable and weakened, and he worried about you. 

You were tough and fought it out. But what if you couldn’t fight this one off? Would your second brush with death be enough to claim you?

Tears swelled your eyes and poured onto your cheeks. Small sobs started to wrack your body as emotion overtook you.

“I…sorry…don’t burnden…’Mega, gotta find…” 

“Hey, hey, it’s ok, I got you, I got you. You’re not a burden. We’ll get you better then we’ll find her. Hey, I got you, it’s ok.” Hunter had no idea how he managed to sound so calm. He’d never seen you like this before and it terrified him. Your small sniffles and hiccups reminded him of a small child. Every nerve and essence of his being screamed at him to protect you. 

“I’ll get you some water, I’ll be back. You have to stay hydrated.”

“Stay, I’ll get it.”

Hunter looked up to find Wrecker looking down at the two of you with a sad look in his eyes. “You should be with her.” He disappeared then returned a few minutes later with a full flask of cold water. 

Hunter brought it to your lips, but you barely swallowed any before relinquishing your strength to an empty sleep, exhausted by the struggle. 

Silence bore down on the three of you as Hunter and Wrecker looked on while you slept an uncomfortable sleep.

“I knew we should have stuck together.” Wrecker said sadly at last, not looking at Hunter. “I told her I’d come with her…”

“It’s not your fault, Wreck.”

“Bad things happen when we split up, I told her that….”

“This is all my fault.” Hunter hung his head. “I—”

“That kind of talk isn’t going to help her, Hunt. Don’t even think that. She made up her own mind. She was scared for ya, Hunt. She even started calling you ‘Hunt’ again.”

Hunter looked up surprised, then back down towards you. You’d stopped that since that morning on Pabu. You’d been formal with him afterward. It was either Sargeant or Hunter. 

He shifted then lifted you in his arms, bringing you back to the bed. He set you down then ran his fingers through your damp hair, worry evident in his eyes. 

“We need to get her to a hospital, Wreck. I don’t know what to do…Without Tech…I’m really scared right now.”

Wrecker placed a large, comforting hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “Then we go. We’ll get her better, Hunt. Don’t worry. I think we have a few of those fake IDs left Tech made. We’ll make something work.”

Swallowing hard, Hunter nodded.

Instead of letting go, Wrecker’s grip tightened. In one swift motion, Hunter was enveloped in a hug. If he was being honest, he didn’t mind in the least. 

Hunter sat by you in silence as the ship flew through hyperspace toward the hospital, watching your fitful sleep. Your forehead was creased in pain and your mouth turned into a pout. One hand carefully stroked your sweat soaked hair, the other intertwined with yours.

The waiting was the worst part. Not being able to do anything to help or accept, fate could only take its course and he could only stand by and watch. The worst enemies were the ones he couldn’t protect you from and he hated that. He couldn’t fight the infection with his blade, or take away your pain by shooting the cause with a blaster bolt. 

He leaned his forehead against yours and swallowed a sigh. Was this agony what you'd felt when he'd been shot? He remembered what delicate care you took of him. You'd been more than thoughtful, and tried not to show your concerns but he saw them anyway; just as he could always see you. But there was something else there that at the time he hadn't realized. And now he hoped he hadn't realized it too late. 

“You asked me before if I’d settle down like Shep asked……………and in my dreams, yes. I always wanted to, even before he asked, with you. It was you, it was always and only you.”

Silence was your response. 

 “Please, don’t leave me now. I already lost the others, I can’t lose you too.”

The steady rhythm of your heart was promise enough for him right now, he had to hold onto hope. 

“We can take it slow. Take our time. We don’t have to rush into anything but please, please stay with me and I’ll be yours for the rest of our lives. That’s my promise to you. I–I love you. Always have, always will.”

Perhaps if he’d hadn’t been so tired, he would have noticed the slight squeeze of his hand you have him. 

Hunter walked into the hospital carrying you wearing civilian clothing hoping he looked more inconspicuous than he felt. He approached the nurse at the front desk. 

“Excuse me, my wife needs help. She had an accident…”

“Chain codes.” the nurse said flatly without looking up but holding out her hand. 

Hunter fished them out and gave them to her. 

“It’s urgent, she needs to see a doctor ri–”

“Just sit down over there and the nurse will be with you shortly.”

“But she needs a doctor NOW!”

The nurse glanced up annoyed. 

“Keep that up and she’ll have to wait a full rotation, buddy.”

Hunter glared but didn’t say a word. Normally he would have fought back harder but with your life on the line, he couldn’t find it in himself to do it. So he did as he was bid, and took a seat in the waiting area. 

You blinked your eyes open with a smile. 

“Hey Handsome.” 

You reached up for his face, and he took your hand in his and gave it a quick kiss. 

“Hey,” Hunter kept his voice low, giving you a quick smile before making a quick survey of the area, “to catch you up real quick, we’re married. You’re my wife and we took you here after an accident on our farm. You’re going to be ok, ok?” 

His eyes darted across your face, looking, searching, for any indication that his words would come true. Even here and now on the brink of being saved, he felt like you’d suddenly vanish and be taken from him. 

He didn’t know what he expected from you, a nod of recognition maybe? But he didn’t get that. Instead, you chuckled. 

“Married? Already? So much for wanting to take it slow, Hunter.” 

To his surprise, a laugh burst from his lips, a smile replacing the worry for a second. He shook his head. Even now, you were trying to look out for him, making him laugh while you were the one who needed help. 

“Always looking out for me, aren’t you?” His voice was warm and full. The deepness of his voice like chocolate on your sore ears, not that he’d know that of course. All he could hope for was that you could hear the depth of love and gratitude he had in such a few words. 

You smiled, “always have, always will, I promise you that.” 

Hunter heard the nurse approach and looked up, only to be faced with a jaw dropping phenomenon. 

“How can I help you today? Wait…Hunter?”

It was Nala, your old classmate.

“Nala?” Hunter repeated, stunned. “You work here?”

“Yes…” her eyes drifted down to you. 

An unsettled feeling came over Hunter. You hadn’t been in touch with anyone since Order 66. Whose side was Nala on?

He didn’t have to wonder long when her face went white and she dropped down on one knee to be at your level. 

“What do you need? Let me assess her and see what I can do.”

Nala came running up carrying various vials and all but shoved them in Hunter’s pockets. 

“Give her this as soon as possible. It’s safer for all of you if you just take it and administer it on your ship. I got word of Imperials coming here shortly. I’ve listed instructions on how to give it to her safely. You should go before someone recognizes you and hands you over. Goodbye, and good luck. Take good care of my friend. When she gets better, tell her to give me a call!”

With that, Nala turned and left, trying her hardest not to give an impression of concern. 

Back on the ship, Hunter did as instructed. After making sure you were carefully placed in bed and made as comfortable as possible, he enlisted Wrecker’s help as soon as they’d jumped to hyperspace. Hunter knew Wrecker wasn’t going to like it, but there wasn’t another way. 

You’ll want to give this one to her first. It’ll regulate her body so she can take the following medications. It’ll help her breathe easier and adjust to what’s coming…it won’t appear so right away so don’t worry. You’re going to need to give this to her in quick succession so don’t wait to see the effects.

Hunter injected the hypo into your arm. 

This one is the IV with the antibiotics. Get her hooked up quickly and make sure the bag is drained before you take it out. 

He rubbed your arm and inserted the needle.

This one, inject into her chest near her heart. This one will hurt the most. 

This one, he couldn’t do. 

“This…is going to hurt.”

“I know.” You stared at the ceiling, trying to catch your breath and collect your courage. “It’s ok.”

Of course you knew, you were a medic. He would have cringed at his own words, but he couldn’t help it. His own fear mocked him and he wasn’t ashamed of it. Pain was pain, and nothing could make him like it or want that for you. All he could do was prepare you in any way he could. 

Your breathing was labored, huffing your breaths, greedy for air, gluttonously swallowing in as much as your lungs would let you. 

“Tell me.” You looked into his eyes, trying to focus, “tell me about it? I can’t seem to remember anything from our big day. What happened? Who was there? How did it go….How did I look?” You huffed a little laugh at the last question, “nevermind, don’t answer that.” Your laugh caused a coughing fit to follow. 

Hunter gripped you firmer as your body racked, fear unmasked in his eyes. 

Shutting your own, you tried to center yourself. 

“Crosshair probably made trouble, didn't he. He and Wreck competed to see who could eat the most cake and got sick, right?” Your voice was nothing other than a whisper, but Hunter could still pick up the dream-like tilt in your voice. The little smile as if it was a real memory, breaking across your lips. 

“Of course, would you expect anything less?”

Another chuckle turned into a gasp of air. 

Hunter kept his gaze on you as he spoke, his hand on your cheek facing him so you wouldn’t have to see what was to come. Rubbing gentle circles in your cheek and wiping away tears, he tried to speak without a shake in his voice. He didn’t know if he succeeded, but ever after that, he’d remember the images burned in his mind both, of the story he was telling and the raw reality of your pain. 

“Tech filmed the entire thing; we’ll have to rewatch it; would you believe Echo had more champagne to drink than anyone? He was so happy the entire night. He was also the only one next to Wrecker to cry.”

You smiled through gritted teeth.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You looked beautiful all dressed in white…” he stumbled over his words now as Wrecker garnished the needle, “your dress dazzled with little jewel thingies and you liked spinning in it because it reminded you of a waterfall or a butterfly’s wing. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. And when you walked toward me, I was a mess, because I knew I was the luckiest man in the world, and I couldn’t ever have imagined you more beautiful.”

You swallowed hard. 

“Omega couldn’t stop smiling or singing; and when the music at the Pabu sunsets starts and the orange sun starts setting in the sky, it hit you just right and…”

You screamed as muffled of a scream as you could, but it rang in Hunter’s head so loud it bounced around until he felt like he was going to be sick.  

“Aaand, and, when the sun set, we resaid our vows under the stars, just you and me. Always, just you and me. I’ve got you, it’s ok.”

Your eyes rolled back and all went dark.

Breathing never felt so sweet. You smiled, feeling like you could laugh and cry at the same time. The pain was gone and you felt great! Energy was surging, and life felt beautiful again. Despite the illness, you remembered everything that happened with vivid accuracy. Though your eyes were closed, your mind was very awake and registered everything in perfect memory.

Not just the pain, but the sweet moments too. Hunter taking such good care of you, his poor fear and concern, the thoughts he confessed because he thought you couldn't hear.

You felt the urge to stretch but couldn't move. Opening your eyes and looking around, the sight made your heart melt. Hunter was curled up half beside and half behind you. His body was curled in around yours, holding you as if he feared when he woke, you wouldn't be there. 

Your heart was gripped by the softness of the gesture and you didn't want it to end.

You reached your hand up, running your fingers down his face and neck. The touch was enough to wake him. He stirred, then jolted with realization.

“You're awake!!!” Tears gathered in his eyes as he cupped your face with both his hands. “You're ok.” He smiled and swallowed so hard you could hear it. You embraced him, burying your face in his neck.

“I love you.” 

You froze. You didn't expect him to actually confess to you while you were awake. Hunter sensed your hesitancy and started to pull away, but before he could move an inch, you were grabbing him toward yourself again. 

“I love you, too. So much.”

“Can…we talk? I can't wait anymore.”

“Of course.”

Hunter turned shy. He found his hands extremely interesting as he fiddled with the blanket rim. His face turned red and he tripped over his words.

“I only said what I did because besides you….I wouldn't want to marry any other woman. Who would I even marry…if it wasn't you?”

He paused briefly before continuing.

“I always felt like you deserved way better than me…I can't offer you anything but myself and that's not much of a gift.”

“Hunter! No! You—” 

He gave you a sheepish look and cut you off.

“And I'm so sorry for everything that happened, for how I hurt you. I should have gone to you sooner, I should have…”

Now it was your turn to cut him off, but instead of with words, you captured his mouth with yours in a kiss 

You felt his shock, which made you smile, and soon he joined and returned your soft show of love, holding you even closer than before.

“You scared me.” Hunter said, kisses becoming needier. 

“You scared me first!” You countered, meeting his veracity. “More than once!”

When you both stopped for breath, you settled back in his embrace. 

“Hunter, you're all I could ever need or want. The gift of yourself is more precious than anything or anyone in the galaxy, and that's more than I deserve. All I've ever wanted was the war to end so we could have a family of our own, your brothers all be near us if they're not with us while we raise Omega and children of our own.”

Hunter's face darkened. 

“I wasn't strong enough to protect you or keep this family together. I lost Omega.”

“You didn't lose her, Hunter. She made a choice. She didn't want to lose you, and neither did I. You don't control the galaxy or have some responsibility for everything that happens. It's ok to breathe, Hunt, and let go. All we can do is move onward and face the galaxy together, just like we always do.”

Hunter nodded, the shadow slowly falling from his face, replaced with something gentler. 

“And that story I told before, about you in the white dress?”

“Yeah?” You blushed sheepishly, recalling with a bubbling laugh trapped inside your chest. 

“What do you say we make that real?” Leaning closer, he whispered in your ear, “I want to see you all in white, for real. I want to be yours, only yours, forever. I want to have a family, with you and only you. My brothers can all live close by and we can all be together. We can raise Omega the way she deserves to be raised…and I can love you, the way you deserve to be loved.”

“Yes! Oh yes! My sergeant, I am yours and only yours, now and forever!”

Filled with new determination, you smiled even wider, gripped his hand and got out of bed.

“Come on, now, love, let's go get our kid. Time to bring our family home. Time to start healing and growing.”

"The Empire be warned, we're coming."

Dividers by @stars-n-spice @ve-ti-ver and @djarrex

[janewayintersection]

after the other shenkos ever so cruelly reminded me of the shared "are you flirting with me?" line shep and kaidan have in me3, i just need to cover my favorite things about it.

so there are like, two main flavors of shenko, right. the trilogy romance run and the me3 romance run. the "are you flirting with me?" line takes on different meanings with each one, and they're both so good.

with a previously romanced kaidan, it's funny because it takes on more of a silly "haha let's pretend we're new at this" joke. like "oh, we have to start from the beginning again, looks like we're back to basic flirting LOL". i know people say this line makes more sense with an unromanced kaidan, but i do really love the idea of it being a goof between the two of them as their relationship recovers.

while unromanced, you've got kaidan, who's been pining since me1, but has been dealing with commander "i'm married to my job. also i died and joined cerberus" shepard. and kaidan's genuinely just so fucking flabbergasted at the mere notion that 1. this seems to truly be the shepard he remembers and has feelings for, 2. that shepard might be into him and 3. that shepard is possibly flirting with him. and then once shepard repeats the "are you flirting with me?" line later, its a mix of this confidence boost, and the "fuck it, the world is ending" mentality that finally leads to kaidan flirting way more obviously and eventually deciding to take his shot. i love it. and like others have said, this could become an inside joke as well.

delicious. im eating the shenko parallels off the fucking floor as we speak. yum.