#lovejoy x you

[joviepog]

EEE HI JOVIE again i love love your writing and im so glad youve been enjoying my stuff!! anyway, sweet and simple request-- wilbur and reader having an at home dinner night :)) (if u wanna make it silly tommy could be their "waiter" LMAO)

much love !!

EEK I LOVEE THIS IDEA! ITS SO SIMPLE BUT SO GOOD AHHHHHH

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡—♡-♡-♡-♡-

Lovely night

Who: Wilbur x f!reader

Warnings: i dont think there is anything but if there is just let me know!

Pronouns: She / they

Word count: I have no clue

Requests: @poraphia

Anything’s else: I actually liked how this turned out! thanks for the idea lovely requester!

This story is NOT proofread

Listen to this while you read! <3

Both you and Wilbur aren’t the richest people around. For you, this was absolutely fine. But for Wilbur?

Well, Wilbur is just a bit disappointed about not being able to spoil you as much as he wants. Since you both have met, he’s been obsessed with getting you little gifts and taking you to cute dates. But what he really wants to do is to be able to take you to the fancy restaurant down the street from your guy’s apartment.

He’s told you about this little problem of his and you cant help but giggle every time he mentions it. The conversation always ends with a kiss on the cheek and the same six words. “Wil, i dont need all that!” But lately he wont stop talking about it. He’s been daydreaming about you in a fancy dress and him in a fancy tux. Not the old cheep one he has for all those dumb occasions. No, he wants to be able to give you a bouquet of roses and a ring that means forever. But most of all, he wants to make you happy.

You’ve noticed that this was starting to get to him. Every time you got home he would give you a kiss and a hug -per usual- then he would start talking about this dress he saw on twitter and how beautiful it would look on you. “And that dress would be perfect for that restaurant!” And every time you say that you dont need all that, he looks like a kid being rejected of a puppy.

And so, you set up a plan. While he was gone on tour, you saved up, took cooking classes, and learned how to do your best makeup possible. You called him up one night, “Hi Wil! Are you busy?” There was a slight pause and he spoke quietly, “No, i just have to be quiet.” You gave a soft laugh and spoke quietly. “I just wanted to make sure i have the right day for when your coming back.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked, “Why?” You pouted, “Why? What, I can’t miss my boyfriend?”

He apologized at least 100 times before he woke Joe up. You said hi to Joe and hung up. “I love you Wil. See you soon?” You asked with a smile. “See you soon.” You hung up and silence fell on the room. You had 1 more week. You bought the dress he had mentioned 1,000 times, you made sure Tommy was free, and you made sure the house was clean. You were ready.

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

“I’m two hours away.” he spoke and you could hear the boys in the back teasing him.

you fake sighed, “I guess i’ll just wait here. all alone, and sad, and-“

he stopped you, “Yeah i’ll try to hurry up.”

“No take your time, darling.”

he sighed, “All i want to do is get home and hug you.”

“Aweeee.” you put another fake eyelash on, “I miss you too baby.”

“Wilbur! The taxy is here!”

you laughed and he scoffed, “I’ll see you soon darling.”

“See you soon.” you hung up and looked at yourself in the mirror. you looked amazing. you hair was fixed, and the dress fit nicely just like wilbur said it would. everything was perfect.

2 hours: Tommy got there with a suit and a tie that was ties badly

1 hour 30 minutes: You and tommy set the table and clean the house. you fail to figure out how to tie tommy’s tie

1 hour: you start dinner and Tommy calls phil to help him tie his tie.

30 mins: you finish up dinner and you get out wilbur’s favorite wine

20 mins: you double check everything for 10 minutes

10 mins: you wake up Tommy from his nap and cehck to make sure you look good.

5 mins: you triple check that you look okay and you serve the food.

1 minute: You light the candles

0 mins: You hear a knock.

“Is that him?!?” you say with a cheerful smile. Tommy smiles, “No it’s the mailman.” he jokes. you roll your eyes and open the door. Wilbur has the biggest smile on his face and he’s holding flowers. You close the door behind you, not wanting to ruin the surprise, and jump into his arms. he gives you small kisses all around your face and neck; your giggling at his touch. he finally lets you go and you were so excited to see his reaction.

His eyes widen at the sight of you in the dress and he begins to ask questions. “YN? Where did you-“ you stopped him and grabbed his arm, interlocking your arm in his. you yelled out to tommy, “Ready!” tommy opens the door and the smell of delicious food swept through the door.

The sight of warm lighting and wine glasses were shows on the small table. Warm jazz music was playing and you couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of Wilbur. His mouth was agape and his eyes completely widened. He turned to look at Tommy, who had his hair slicked back and a napkin on his arm (still holding the door open he cleared his throat.) “Welcome Mr. Gold and Ms. LN. I have your table ready right over there. He nudged his head towards the table and you and Wilbur walked in. Tommy quickly close the door and pulled out the chairs for both you and Wilbur.

Wilbur sat down, still in shock, and looked at his plate. Tommy spoke up, “You see, we already served you food because your girlfriend here, preordered. Wilbur laughed and Tommy grabbed the wine glass. “Tell me when to stop.” He started to pour the wine and Wilbur told him to stop about halfway, you did the same.

“Anything else?” Tommy asked.

“That’ll be all. Thank you.” Tommy winked at you and nodded his head. As he walked away you turned back to Wilbur. “So?” His mouth is still slightly open but soon enough, his cheeky smile appeared back on his face.

“Well, i feel like I’m a bit underdressed.” You both laughed and spent the rest of the night talking while Tommy took photos of both of you.

What a lovely night.

[poraphia]

“PDA: Public Displays of Affection”

pairing • secret relationship!wilbur x reader 1448 words • 9.1.23 containing • secret relationship, sorry boys production, immense affection my masterlist ~! ღ mrs. mania ღ on Tumblr

“We’re about to film a new Sorry video. Want to give me a good luck kiss first?”

♡♡♡

There’s one thing about Tom Simons that everybody knows the moment you click on one of his videos.

Some viewers may find him annoying at first,

And frankly, it’s not like he’s wrong.

After Wilbur and I started dating we came to an agreement to keep our relationship a secret. There were a multitude of reasons for this. For one, we wanted to enjoy the relationship for ourselves and because of Wilbur’s music and streaming career, it would have been impossible to relish in such when there are hundreds of thousands of eyes on you. This leads to our next reason. Most of Wilbur’s friends are streamers, vloggers, gamers, you name it. That being said, most of the time we find cameras on us already. So, in order to keep up with our special secret, we tell our friends that we’re not dating so that it’s a much easier job keeping it on the down low.

So what happens when a younger boy who considers himself Wilbur’s brother constantly sees a woman constantly with Wilbur? Well, you’ll see for yourself.

I’m known to be Wilbur’s co-filmer and editor in his fanbase, meaning that even if we weren’t dating, I had to be constantly around him to help out with video planning and creating a digital diary as he was on tour. This week his friends were all coming to Brighton to shoot Chapter 2 for their Sorry! improv group.

It was the morning of, and I was met by the familiar, warming embrace of his arms slithering around my body. I scoot back a little bit, feeling his heartbeat steadily beat against my back. “Hey, are you awake?” He groggled out in a raspy morning face. I hummed in response, taking one of his hands to kiss the center of his palm. He pulled me closer to his chest as the fabric beneath us crinkled.

“I’m so sleepy…” I mumbled. With his hand, Wilbur smoothed my cheek, caressing my skin. I melted in his touch.

“I know, but we have to get up soon, darling,” He whispered. Gently, with his arm still wrapped around me, he sat us up in the bed. The morning sun peaked through the slightly open blinds, decorating our skin with streaks of light. He buried his face into the crook of my neck as the drowsiness slowly drained from me. His arms kept firmly around my torso, holding me as close as he could. Once we felt ready to get out of bed, we walked into the kitchen as I prepared a quick breakfast for the both of us.

“Do you want strawberry parfait for breakfast, my love?” I asked, looking inside the fridge.

“Yes, please.” He smiled. I nodded before grabbing the container of syrupy strawberries and Greek yogurt. Wilbur went inside the pantry to find the box of graham crackers. After he finished crushing them, he noticed me standing on my tippy toes to reach for the two glasses on the highest shelf. With a cheeky smirk, he walked behind me and lifted me up by the waist, earning a slight eep of surprise. Nonetheless, I was able to reach the glasses before he placed me back down with my feet touching the cold tile floor. I turned around, awarding him with a quick peck on the chin, before continuing on making our breakfast.

Sometimes, it was painful keeping this a secret, but I think it’s what makes moments like these more special.

Once we finished our breakfast and got dressed, we met up with the rest of the guys at a park in Brighton. Today’s film idea was to run a hotdog van of some kind, but instead, call them burgers. Honestly, don’t ask me, it was the guys’ idea. Most of the guys carpooled to the location, whereas Wilbur and I decided to take our own car. After some time walking to the park, we were both ambushed by Tommy and Charlie, who were already flopping around in hotdog costumes.

“WILBUR! (Y/N)! MY FRIENDS!” Tommy exclaimed, hugging the two of us. Wilbur pulled Tommy to the side, almost putting him in a headlock as they shared their own brotherly love. I hugged Charlie before stepping back to examine his outfit.

“You look… Meaty. You been working out?” I joked. He grinned before flexing one of his arms.

“Ah, so you’ve noticed my meaty and tender gains I see! I’ve been working on these babies just for this exact moment.” He said pridefully. Charlie flexed one of his muscles before kissing his bicep. I rolled my eyes before we both trailed back to the rest of the group. I greeted the rest of the team and even hugged Kristen to catch up with her since we last saw each other. Tommy and Wilbur then ran up to the group promptly as Russ explained exactly how the food truck was going to work. After some careful instructions, the film crew, which involved me, were told who was to record what. Per usual, I was directed to film Wilbur’s shenanigans.

“Alright, is everyone ready?” Russ asked, looking up from his clipboard. Everyone exclaimed their noises of agreement. I looked over to Will, who I noticed was patting down his pockets for something.

“Will, you okay?” Phil asked as he adjusted the scarf around his neck.

“Yeah, I just— I think I left my wallet. Uhh (y/n) can you come with me? It’s probably in the car.” He said, looking over to me.

“Oh— Yeah, sure.” I handed my camera to Russ in the meantime before walking with Wilbur to the car. I kept my hands in my pockets in the meantime to resist the urge to walk with fingers intertwined. It was far too dangerous now.

Once we made it to the car, I reached into my pocket to unlock it, but in return Wilbur just stood there, smiling at me. I tilted my head, a bit confused.

“Weren’t you going to go look for your wallet?” I asked. Instead, Will leaned on the car, smiling down at me with his chef’s hat a bit lopsided and his arms crossed.

“I actually did have my wallet. I just wanted to have a good luck kiss before we started filming.” He smiled. I rolled my eyes before grabbing him by the shirt collar so that he was now at my height.

“You know you can be annoying sometimes.” I scoffed, but a wide smile was plastered all over my face.

“I know. I just miss you.”

I placed a quick peck on his lips, but before I could pull away, Wilbur held me gently by the neck to keep me in place. Slowly, I felt my body melting by the touch of his soft lips as butterflies danced on my skin. I wrapped my arms around his neck, moving me closer to him. Tiny droplets soon started to drizzle down on us, but we weren’t leaving each other's lips anytime soon. That was until someone caught us.

“Wilbur? (y/n)? Guys it’s starting to rain and— OH MY GOD!”

We both immediately pushed each other away, only to meet with the shocked face of Tommy standing paralyzed in his hot dog outfit.

“OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE DATING! I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT—”

“I— Uh— Tommy—!” I was rendered speechless as the poor boy rapidly glanced at the both of us. Wilbur ended up breaking the standstill as he walked up to Tommy, placing two hands firmly at his shoulders.

“Yes, me and (y/n) are dating.” He said firmly. “You’re not going to tell anyone, my boiled hotdog boy, alright?” All Tommy could do was nod in response, his mouth still open ajar. Wilbur patted him on the back before heading in the direction of the food truck. I jogged over to Tommy, shaking his shoulder a bit to snap him out of his thoughts. He turned to look at me, a hand running through his hair. I shrugged, a half-apologetic smile on my face before we both walked back to the park.

“To be fair, the reason I was so shocked was because last month I tried to set you two up on a date.” Tommy mentioned nonchalantly, playing with his fingers as he walked.

I chuckled a little bit. “That’s kind of funny—” until the realization hit. “WAIT HUH?”

♡♡♡

a / n ~ thought this was cute so I jotted it down like a couple mins before waking up lolol. Reblogs and likes are super appreciated mwahh

[haunted-headset]

Ok hear me out… scare actor reader and Wilbur who just wanted to go to a haunted house and then boom he’s like “oh no. The serial killer is pretty” you can use ur imagination for the rest this is just the caffeine talking to me with fanfic ideas :)

🔪 Is That Too Scary for You? 🔪

Summary: Headcanons about how Wilbur would act if he saw you, the reader, being pretty & a fake serial killer in a haunted house

A/N: HOLY SHIT. I LOVE THIS IDEA! Again, very sorry that it's only headcanons (idk if I'm even using the right term anymore lol), I'm extremely burnt out & tired rn. also tysm for the asks! it's been keeping me busy af & i love it! Also, the title was based off of the song I Think I'm Okay =)

pairing: CC!Wilbur x afab!actor!reader

pronouns used for reader: She/her/hers

tags: @vibestillaxxx @joviepog @ax-y10 @themonsterunderurmom @wilburstan @smolsleepykitten @funnyreally2009 @crows-death @thewheelersgaygaragelights @dykepunz @aresriiots @0miamor0 @cathers-world @defonotval @chipch0p @mazzistar16 @unmellowyellowfellow @justalittlebitofchaos @thosecolorfulsheets @vopix @taylors-version-from-the-vault @aine-lasagna @merianakross @veeislost @urfav-sapphic-siren (pls let me know if you do/don't want to be tagged!)

warnings/cw: scary stuff, reader is a scare actor (you're basically a fake serial killer), fake blood, the people with Wilbur & Tommy on the vlog getting jumpscared, reader pretending to k!ll Wilbur, Wilbur having a dream about the reader

genre: fluff/horror

Wilbur would probably be accompanied by the Sorry Boys for a Tom Simons vlog

Wilbur probably wouldn't want to go in the first place because he;d get scared easily

So when they do get inside the haunted house, they learn that everyone who's in the haunted house now becomes part of a challenge. They now have to escape the haunted house without being killed by any of the creatures/ghosts or you, the serial killer. It's basically just an escape room

When he first hears your menacing voice behind him, he stops walking. Not out of fear, but out of awe.

↑↑ You laughed creepily. "It seems I have some visitors here today..." Wilbur stopped in his tracks & Tommy turned the camera towards Wilbur. He was staring at you in awe. "Wilbur, stop being a simp & run!" Tommy laughed, pulling Wilbur away from you. "...Tommy, the serial killer's hot."

He basically tried to find any way to bring the group closer to you. He thought you were really pretty.

Would definitely 'die' first just to hang out with you

If you pinned him to the wall to 'k!ll' him, he would be so fcking flustered

↑↑ "Nowhere left to run..." you chuckled. You stabbed two of your fake knives into his shirt sleeves to pin him to the wall. "Any last words?" & Wilbur would be crushin' & blushin' so damn hard as he said, "Honestly? Uh you're really pretty & I kinda want your number if it isn't too much to ask-"

He ended up letting you 'k!ll' him so that you could bring him to where the people who were eliminated stayed until the attraction was over & you two just talked for an hour or so

& then you were stabbing him to death in his dreams <3

[deejayrockz]

PAIRING — cc!wilbur x (cc if u want)reader

SUMMARY — wilbur loves kisses, meaning he most definitely has his favourite spots, or as he calls them, the sweet spots.

NOTES — fluff, kisses, readers gender isn't specified however i made it with a fem reader in mind

EXTRA — i was watching that one stream where he talked about the girl in his history class he liked, so thought i'd just make a funky little list of his kisses ^_^ !!

ʚ┊knee kisses ; the back of the knee, when you're laying face down on the bed, is one of his favourite spots to kiss. you're laying down on your stomach, scrolling through your phone or reading, and he climbs up over you to trail small kisses down your back. once he reaches your knees, he lets out a small smile, kissing the back of them softly, holding onto your ankles to hold himself up. after, he'd probably just flop ontop of you, just for fun !!

ʚ┊hair / head kisses ; wilbur isn't usually one for PDA, only really liking hand holding, or arms around shoulders, as he prefers to be private when holding you, but he loves kissing your hair. if you're in the shop and he's behind you, while you're looking at stuff on the shelf, he most definitely adores wrapping arms around your waist and kissing your head, probably placing his chin on top of your head after. if you're too tall for his chin to be ontop of your hair, hed place it in the crook of your neck and shoulder, kissing softly, relishing in the small giggles you let out.

ʚ┊wrist kisses ; this one makes me so soft ohmygod. he most definitely loves kissing the inside of your wrist, right where your pulse is, as if hes kissing your heart through your hand. if you were to pass him something without looking at him, he'd take it from your hand, but grab your wrist before you could pull it back and kiss the inside as a thank you, smiling innocently after. or if you're laying on bed, and you're sprawled out, he'd kiss your wrist, trailing up your arm, until he finally reached your mouth, in order to wake you up.

ʚ┊stomach kisses ; if you were or if your weren't insecure of your stomach, he'd ask if he could kiss it anyway. you ask why, he just says he wants to show you how much he loves you. simple as that. he's laying his head on your stomach as a film plays, the film is one he's seen multiple times before, as it's usually your go-to romcom for movie nights, so he lifts up your pyjama shirt, leaving soft kisses on your stomach as the film continues. when he first started, it was ticklish, but it soon turned into something you absolutely adored as he left tingles with each kiss placed.

ʚ┊cheek / neck kisses ; cheek kisses are perfect for when he's in a rush, especially with the band, and him having to leave for shows often. before he left the apartment (or house, hotel room, etc), he'd quickly try to find you, giving you a loving kiss on the cheek as he muttered an 'i love you'. neck kisses are similar to the head kisses — he'd like to stand behind you, arms around your waist, while softly kissing your neck. he'd prefer to do this privately, when you two are dancing in the kitchen (cough cough), but he doesn't mind doing this in a somewhat public space. he wouldn't do it infront of a group of friends, more like if you were waiting in line for something .

[arcvillie]

EXCUSE ME??????

[phxntomsdusk]

i has an idea!

walking into the lovejoy tour bus after helping pack up at the venue and seeing wilbur fast asleep.

just a little silly thought that i think should be written...

Sleepy boy - Will x GN!reader

warnings: none !! just a lil blurb <3

tags: @ax-y10 , @joviepog (ask to be added!)

word count: 235

You had been helping Lovejoy with tour ever since the start. You were mostly in charge of cleaning up afterwards, getting everything put away, and making sure the boys took care of themselves.

As usual you were giving everyone a snack after the show, making small talk with them and asking how they enjoyed themselves. But someone was missing, Will.

You had no clue where a 6 foot tall man could have been hiding, until you wandered onto the tour bus and heard quiet snoring.

You entered the small room in the back and saw his face first in the mattress, a sigh escaping your lips as you walked over and placed his snack on the small nightstand.

“Will, your snack is here for when you’re up.” You whispered into his ear, lightly moving his head so he wouldn’t suffocate, and moved his hair out of his face.

A quiet groan escapes his lips, shifting in his sleep and curled up in the corner. You couldn’t help but laugh at this, patting his arm gently before going to leave him alone.

“Sleep tight, bud. I’ll be here when you’re awake.” You smiled at him, watching him move around like a child, before his eyes blinked open and he lazily waved at you. “Okay.. bye-bye.”

His voice was hoarse and low, his eyes almost immediately shutting again as he laid back on the bed properly again.

[loversj0y]

three drunk nights.

wilbur soot x gn! reader

TWs: lots of drinking and alcohol, alcohol is used as a coping mechanism (dont do this), slightly suggestive content, vomiting, jokes about vomiting, lots of pining, drunk kisses n drunk confessions

word count: 8.8k (specifically 8888 words)

note: MAR IS FINALLY POSTING WHO CHEERREEDDDDDD this fic was a tiny idea that i discussed a bit with a friend and then it just absolutely spiraled into this. this is also probably the most suggestive thing i will ever write (it's not that suggestive, i am just anxious so i actually had to ask someone if one of the lines was too suggestive so-) anyway. hope you enjoy! big thank you to everyone who chatted with me about this fic and helped me brainrot over this concept so i could actually stay motivated

taglist: @l0veb0mb1ng / @corequeen / @zooone / @melunnek / @shubblelive

When you moved to Brighton, you knew you would have to find a roommate. Rent was expensive, and your salary wouldn’t be nearly enough to live alone. You didn’t expect your roommate to end up being Wilbur Soot. You didn’t know who he was when you met him, he just seemed like a kind guy looking for a new roommate. You were a bit wary at first, when you’d only communicated over texts after seeing ads in a coffee shop, but after meeting him, you felt okay to move in. He was a genuinely nice guy, and not only did he make you feel safe, the two of you ended up getting pretty close quite quickly. It helped that he was funny and kind and had the most gorgeous eyes you’d ever seen. 

You couldn’t deny just how attractive you found your roommate. Even when you first met him, you thought he was quite fit, but you made an agreement with yourself that you wouldn’t catch feelings. You needed a place to live more than another ruined relationship under your belt.

Your heart didn’t quite agree. Within the first three weeks of living together, you’d become entranced by him, a crush that took over your body and soul. Every time you looked at him, it brought a grin across your face, and every time he looked at you, it had a wine flush rising to your cheeks. 

Regardless, you wouldn’t act on it. As overwhelming as it was, you couldn’t risk it. Wilbur is always home, so it makes it kind of hard to escape him, but at least when he’d stream, you could have time alone without having to worry about acting like a fool. 

Today was like that. When you got home from work, you could faintly hear the sound of Wilbur talking and yelling in his room, and you smiled at the sound. You changed out of your uniform foremost, grabbing some headphones as you walked into the kitchen. You used the headphones to play music, not wanting to risk disturbing Wilbur. Instead, you started making some dinner. Just something simple and easy, and you made a portion for Wilbur too. Even if he’d already eaten, you could at least save it for lunch tomorrow. You finally had a day off, and you were so incredibly excited to do nothing except lay in bed for hours. The cooking was calming too, allowing you to unwind from a stressful day. And speaking of unwinding from a stressful day, you grabbed a wine glass and poured yourself a quick glass, humming along to the song playing in your headphones. You drank and cooked at the same time, until your pasta was done, and you started preparing yourself a plate. You prepared a plate for Wilbur as well, setting it in the microwave to stay warm. You grabbed your glass of wine first, and as you went to reach for your plate, you yelped and jumped as you felt a hand on your shoulder, splashing wine across your shirt. 

You pulled your headphones off, turning quickly to see Wilbur, chuckling softly. 

“Sorry, I called out, didn’t realise you didn’t hear me over the headphones.” He smiled softly, then frowned when he saw your shirt, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you jump.”

You shook your head softly, “It’s alright. Didn’t realise you were done already,” you hummed, grabbing a napkin even though you knew your shirt would need a lot more than just that. “I made you some pasta too. It’s in the microwave, I didn’t want it to get cold.”

He smiled fondly, humming, “Thanks.” He reached for his plate, and you walked to your room to change quickly. “Did work go well?” He called out as he sat down on the couch.

“Eh, it was fine,” you called back to him. “How was your stream?” You asked, walking back into the room to pour yourself another glass of wine before eating. 

“It went well. Just did some Geoguessr.” 

You nodded, sitting next to him on the couch as you began eating. You grabbed the remote, tossing it to him. 

He chuckled and took it, putting on some random YouTube videos for you to watch while you ate. Most of the meal was silent, occasional quips in between videos being the most spoken until you finished your food. You washed your plate quickly, knowing you’d be annoyed if you left it for tomorrow. Wilbur did the same after, humming as he looked around the cupboards. 

“You’re off tomorrow right?”

You nodded, “Yeah, why?”

“You want a drink?” He hummed, grabbing a bottle of vodka from the cupboard. You thought about it. It’d been a while since you drank anything, and it’s not like you had any obligations tomorrow anyway, so…

“Sure,” you hummed, “Just use a mixer. You are not getting me to drink anything straight ever again.”

He rolled his eyes, “That was one time.” 

“One time that resulted in me throwing up in a parking lot,” you remind him. He chuckles, starting to pour the drinks, “And now you have a very fun night out story to tell people.”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes, “Yes, and I’d like to keep the number of those stories at one.”

He hummed a bit, shrugging as he handed you a drink, “We’ll see. Cheers.” You tapped your glass against his, taking a quick sip.

“Wow, for once? It actually tastes drinkable.” 

He snorted and rolled his eyes, “I know what I’m doing.” He grinned, and you followed him over to the couch, sitting down next to him.

As the drinks flowed, so did words and stories from both your lips as you sat next to each other, the TV having been forgotten in respect to the far more interesting view in front of you. Wilbur’s cheeks were dusted in pink from the alcohol, and you were almost certain that yours matched. Though it wasn’t just the alcohol in your case. 

“Have you ever really been in love?” He’d asked a few minutes ago, and it brought on a whole conversation about past love.

It’s not like your case was tragic. It just wasn’t exactly the most loving either.

“Honestly? My ex was the most boring person you’d ever meet. Even now, it’s been almost two years since he and I were together, right?” You chuckled softly, “I couldn’t tell you a single thing about his personality. He wasn’t even interested in anything. And it’s not like he was mean or anything, the relationship was fine, but he barely even kissed me. Like if it’s been about two years since before we broke up, it’s probably been like two and a half since I’ve last been kissed.” You laughed, finding amusement in it, as morbid as that seemed.

“Really?” He asked, “Even when me and my ex broke up, we’d still at least been kissing by that point. Granted, that was only a few months ago, but still.”

“I’m serious, it was,” you hummed, “it was something to say the least. Truthfully, I question if maybe I’m just a shit kisser or something. Sometimes I wonder if I’d even remember how to kiss someone at this point.”

He tilted his head a bit, “Hm, I doubt you’d be a bad kisser. Have you ever- like- practised with someone? So they can tell you?”

You snorted, almost choking on your drink, “God, no, I, never,” your cheeks flamed as you shook your head. “Never was really close enough to anyone to do that, I guess.”

He was silent for a quick moment, “Would you?”

The bright blush on your cheeks didn’t falter as you spoke, “I’m not sure, uhm, it depends on who it is and-”

“Me.” He hummed, a grin on his face. “If you wanted to practise, and I offered, would you?”

This was incredibly dangerous territory for your brain. The logical part of you probably would’ve ended the conversation, switching topics onto something you felt that you could discuss safely without your heart trying to overtake it. But honestly, before you could even consider the consequences, the alcohol had knocked down the filter in your brain, leading to your easy response of, “Yeah.”

That brought a slight blush to Wilbur’s cheeks, and god, you didn’t even have the words to describe how gorgeous he looked right now with his tousled hair, loose striped shirt giving you a peek at his collarbone, and the alluring pink that covered his cheeks. He set his drink down, though the glass was empty anyway, and he shifted a bit closer to you.

“Do you want to practise? I can give you a thorough review.” Despite his big words, his blushing was just as bad as yours. 

You should say no. This is probably a bad idea. It’s a terrible fucking idea. It’s a bad idea.

“Yeah.”

Wilbur didn’t hesitate, his hand wrapping around your neck and pulling you in for a kiss. It was soft for about half a second. Then it was passionate, your arms wrapping around his neck and gasping into the kiss. One hand moved down to your lower back, holding you close as the kiss deepened. After a moment, he pulls away, panting. 

“You’re definitely not a bad kisser.”

He doesn’t even give you a chance to respond, pulling you in for another heavy kiss, warmth radiating through you. You knew nothing would escalate past this, but you didn’t even want it to. The way he kissed you had you reeling, gasping into his mouth as he held you close. You ran a hand up, tugging at the ends of his hair and making him groan against your lips. The sound was melodic, and you wanted nothing more than to hear it again. God, you knew it was wrong. You were so fucking in love with this man, and you were both drunk, and he was just doing this as a bit of a favor. But fuck, you were going to allow yourself to indulge this once. This was probably going to be the only time you ever got to kiss him, and you knew tomorrow the both of you would pretend this never happened. 

Your prediction was correct. The next day, when you finally rose from bed with a brain-splitting headache, Wilbur was standing in the kitchen. Neither of you brought up the kiss and things went on, business as usual. You didn’t regret the kiss, per se. However, it definitely made your heart heavier whenever you saw Wilbur. The kiss was something you’d never recover from, but you had to try. 

You devised a plan. Maybe you just needed to meet someone new. Someone to get your mind off Wilbur. And what better place to find a person who will most definitely be a mistake than a pub. While you were planning to go alone, Wilbur had seen you getting ready and asked where you were going. You could’ve lied. Call you weak, but when he looked at you with those soft eyes and gentle grin, you just couldn’t.

“The pub,” you answered simply, “Do I look alright?”

He took a moment to look over your outfit and nodded, “Yeah, looks good. I’ll get dressed, and I could join too? If- if you want, I mean-” he stuttered a bit, not wanting to impose. 

You should’ve said no. But you were just so weak to him, “Yeah, sure. That’s fine. You can invite whoever too.”

He nodded, “I’ll see if Toms and his girlfriend want to join, yeah?”

You nodded again, humming softly. He walked to his room, presumably to change, and you fucking prayed that Tommy and Molly would be joining. You didn’t think you’d be able to go an entire evening of drinking alone with Wilbur without making some sort of mistake. You pulled on a coat, grabbing a sip of water before you left, trying to prevent another morning of groaning in pain and shut curtains. Wilbur walked back out from his room, and you mentally cursed yourself for just how good he looked. His black button up that he left just slightly unbuttoned at the top had your mind reeling, and you quickly shifted your eyes away. Tonight was not the night for thoughts like those; you were trying to get over him.

“Tommy said they’ll meet us there, sound good?” He asked as he grabbed his wallet.

Thank god. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

He held the door open for you to walk out, and you paused to let him lock the door to your flat. 

“Any reason you wanted to go out tonight?” 

“Not really,” you hummed, walking side by side with him. “Just felt the urge to get out of the house, I guess.”

He nodded, “Oh, yeah, I suppose neither of us really get out that much.”

“You get out less than I do. I’m shocked you even go into the sun anymore, you vampire.”

He laughed, head tilting back with a grin, “I’m not that pale. And I don’t bite, I just look like I do.”

The bump on your lip last week begged to differ. 

“You do look like you would. What’s the opposite of an ankle biter? Because you’re too tall for that. Maybe a scalp biter.”

He snorted, “Careful, tease me too much and maybe I’ll stoop to that level.”

God. You knew it was meant as an innocent joke, but fuck, you were too sober for this. 

You gave a half-hearted chuckle, “Right, mmhm. Not my fault you’re just that tall.”

He rolled his eyes, placing his arm onto your head, “You’re just mad you need help grabbing things off the top shelves.”

“Listen, they just shouldn’t make things unreasonably tall. You are an outlier here.” You moved your head from under his arm, huffing.

“Mmhm, console yourself however you please.”

The walk felt pretty short between all of your shared joking, and you had to continuously remind yourself that you were trying to get over him, not fall further in love. When you two arrived, you were thankful that Tommy and Molly were already there, at least allowing you to have some semblance of a mental break from his stupid, gorgeous face and mind. You shared a quick hello, sitting across from Molly, and taking a moment to look around and scope out the place. You were focused on trying to see if there was anyone that interested you when Wilbur nudged your arm.

“I’m going to grab a drink, you want anything?”

You hummed, nodding, “Rum and coke. A double.”

He raised an eyebrow, then chuckled, “Alright. Sure.”

He walked to the bar, and you let out a soft sigh. You felt bad being so relieved that he walked away, but there was a certain level of stress associated with being around him and hiding your feelings. You met knowing eyes from Molly, and you huffed, looking away.

“Soo, how’ve you been?” She asked, and you could sense the undertones there.

“Fine. Hoping to find someone tonight. You know how it is.”

Molly nodded, understanding flashing in her eyes. Tommy was none-the-wiser to the secret conversation you and Molly had, speaking up, “Oh, yes, I definitely know how it is. Ah, young love, young love. Sometimes, you know, young love is right under our noses.” He poked at his nose, pushing it up to accentuate his point. 

You nodded slowly, “Right. Well. It’s been long enough, I think. About time to get back out there.”

Tommy seemed hesitant to this, “I doubt people here will be the best pick.”

“Probably not, but it’s pretty good practise, right? Flirting with strangers?”

“Sure. I mean, I flirted with so many women to be ready to flirt with Molly.”

You snorted, “Sure, Tommy. How many women did you flirt with, then?”

“Tommy?” Wilbur spoke up, having returned with your drink and his own, “None. Tommy doesn’t know how to flirt.”

Tommy gasped, “I do know how to flirt! You don’t! I have given you so many tips, Wilbur, and which one of us is in a relationship? Not you!”

Wilbur was laughing, rolling his eyes in response to Tommy’s annoyed griping, “Sure, Tommy. And how many times have you tried to get Phil and Kristin to divorce?”

Tommy went to respond, but he was stumped by Wilbur nonetheless.

Drinks and stories had been shared, you and Wilbur both feeling the familiar warmth of drunkness coming over you. It’d been almost two hours, and you still hadn’t even spoken to a single new person. You knew you’d lose your chance soon, and thankfully, you had a convenient way to slip away from the table. 

“I’m going to use the bathroom and grab another drink, any of you want one?” 

Molly and Tommy turned you down, but Wilbur was quick to ask for another drink with a grin that made your knees weak. You nodded, heading straight for the bar. You didn’t actually need to use the bathroom; you simply wanted an excuse to be gone for a bit longer. 

You walked to the bar, standing there alone for a moment, both to get used to the drunken perspective and to scope out any prospective flirts. It didn’t take long. 

The man next to you was tall (not as tall as Wilbur), with slightly wavy brown hair (not as soft looking as Wilbur’s), and hazel eyes (not as gorgeous and deep as Wilbur’s). The important part about him was the look he gave you; not quite undressing you with his eyes, but not innocent either. A haunting middle ground for you to discover what would likely become a mistake. 

“Well, hey there,” he grinned, turning his body towards you, “You look like you could use a drink.”

You ignored the fact that you knew you looked and felt plastered already, letting a giggle pass from your lips, “And so what if I do?”

He smirked, turning to the bartender and ordering for you. A vodka cranberry. The drink seemed to reflect the man as well; basic and not the best choice, but at least a consistent one. You could always trust a man to be consistent in his ways, at least. 

He handed the drink to you, and you took it with a smile, taking a sip, “Well, why thank you.” You chuckled, causing a laugh to bubble slightly from him. 

“So, what’s a pretty person like you doing alone in a bar like this?” 

You weren’t alone, and you were the exact reason men like this went to a pub like this. You held your tongue, “Looking for something new, I suppose.”

“Oh? A lost soul, then,” he grinned, taking a sip from his pint, “I can respect that. I think all of us are lost in some way.”

Jesus fucking Christ. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. I think the society we live in makes us feel lost. Always searching for something new. You know, I read this article-“ you tuned the rest of his sentence out, watching his lips move and nodding in key occasionally. 

“That’s really interesting,” you hummed after he finished, “So, what are you doing here then?”

He chuckled, and you could feel a weird response coming on, “Anything. Seeing where the wind takes me. Finding some action, maybe, if that’s what’s decided for me tonight.”

You wanted to rip your hair out. “And if that is what the universe has decided for you?”

He smirked, and it did nothing for you, unlike the butterflies in your chest when Wilbur did the same. He brought a hand to your hip, “Well, guess it’s just my lucky day, then. If the universe presents me with an opportunity, who am I to turn it down?”

“You big on fate then?”

“Sure,” he nodded, “I find that fate is one of the most interesting things in life. The way it brings people into our lives. It’s fascinating.” 

You drank about half of your drink before responding. “Yeah, it is. It defines things in your life before you even have a chance to know them.” You didn’t even believe that. You hated the idea that your life could be predetermined and decided by some other force and leave you no opportunity to change anything. 

“God, yeah, it’s amazing,” he spoke, his hand wrapping a bit closer to you, “I’m not sure anyone’s told you, but you’re really smart. Smart and pretty.”

Wilbur had told you that. Probably a million times now, calling you a genius simply for being able to reset your wifi router. But you didn’t want to think about Wilbur now. 

You allowed the alcoholic flush on your cheeks to be mistaken for a blush, smiling with faux-shyness, “Wow, thank you.” 

“Yeah, you know, a lot of guys don’t see the beauty of a beautiful mind, but I think it’s the best quality, to not be an airhead like most people here are.”

You wanted to slam your head against the wall. Instead, someone slammed into you from behind, pushing you forward into the guy’s arms. Your hand came up to rest on his arm, craning your head up to look at him, resisting the urge to glare at the person behind you. At least from this angle, you could pretend the man you were speaking to was cuter than he actually was. 

He chuckled, holding you up against him, sighing, “God, some people really are dicks.” One hand came to your chin, and you hummed. 

“Yeah, at least you’re not.” You smiled softly. You had to at least act like you weren’t in love with someone else for this to hopefully work. You let your hand raise further up to his shoulder, eventually resting in the cusp between his shoulder and neck. You leaned in a bit closer, ready to spur some flirtatious line about how his lips taste when you were being yanked away. 

You stumbled, only gaining footing when you were pulled outside, coming face-to-face with a pissed Wilbur. 

“Will? What the fuck is your problem?” 

“Oh, my problem?” Wilbur chuckled bitterly. His words were slurred slightly, not unlike yours. He pinched his eyebrows together, scoffing softly, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

You gave him an incredulous look, arms crossing, “I was talking to someone, Wilbur, is that a fucking problem?”

“Oh, sure, you can call it talking all you want. You were throwing yourself at him.”

Your jaw dropped. “You’re fucking kidding me, right? You’re- you’re pissed because I was flirting with someone?”

“That wasn’t flirting, you were about to fucking make out with him! You don’t know him, I’m trying to look out for you!” 

“Wilbur, you’re acting like I was begging him to fuck me or some shit, I was just flirting! He seemed like a nice guy, God forbid I try to actually find a relationship for once!” You felt insane having to defend flirting with a stranger to a man you not only loved, but just a few weeks ago spent hours making out on your couch. You tried not to think on it much. 

“You cannot possibly think that was safe! You have no clue if he’s actually a nice guy!”

“Oh, I have no clue if he was a nice guy?”

“Yeah, you, he could’ve been a total prick, and you were basically crawling into his lap, begging him to kiss you!”

“For fuck’s sake, Wilbur, don’t act all high and fucking mighty about this, need I remind you, you’re the only who made out with me!”

“Yeah, and I’m not the one going off and throwing myself across the lap of the first person to buy me a drink!”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You scoffed. You were aware of people staring at the two of you. You were outside and weren’t exactly quiet, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “If that’s what you think about me, I may as well just go back in there and make out with him right there! At least then I’ll be matching whatever fucking description of me you have in your mind.” 

“You know what? Fine! Knock yourself out! Serves me right for trying to keep my best friend safe, just don’t come crawling back to me when he breaks your heart or leaves you drunk and stranded!” 

You groaned in annoyance, watching as he walked away, leaving you in front of the bar.

“Fuck you, dickhead!” You yelled after him, and he didn’t respond, just kept walking. 

You panted, yelling out in frustration into the cool night. You kicked the brick of the wall, whimpering in pain afterwards. You turned and sat on the ground, leaning your back against the wall as you just breathed.

You focused on breathing until you could focus on the lights around you, signs illuminated by fluorescent street lamps. You willed away the tears that blurred the words. The argument was sobering, to say the least, every aspect of a hangover hitting you all at once now that you sat against the cool brick. Fuck. You felt miserable, both from the sobering feeling and the fact that your best friend and roommate currently seemed to fucking hate you. And the worst part is you didn’t even get why! Like, yes, you were being reckless, you can attest to that, but you’ve been reckless before. He’s been reckless with you. With your heart. You can’t blame him for that; he had no way of knowing how horribly in love with him you were. 

The worst part was that it didn’t even work. Flirting with a stranger only brought you greater reminders of how in love with Wilbur you were. Fighting with Wilbur only made you worry that you’d never get over him. You should hate him right now. He said horrible fucking things; he was a prick, an asshole, a dickhead. There weren’t enough swears to properly convey just how mean he’d been. In the morning, you’d give him more sympathy for being drunk and not having enough of a filter to process what he was saying. But in this moment, you gave him no sympathy, and you still felt like you would tear your heart out and hand it to him if he asked. 

Everything sucked. You were cold, shaking from anger, exhausted, and just downright fucking sad. Usually when you were upset like this, you’d just go to Wilbur for some cheering up, but you’d be damned before you faced him again tonight. Which left you two options. Either staying out until Wilbur was hopefully asleep or asking Tommy if you could crash at his. Knowing Wilbur, he wouldn’t be asleep until three or four at the most. 

You didn’t want to go back inside. Didn’t want to face the stranger you’d flirted with, have to entertain another conversation that would lead nowhere. You would just wait. You’d sit here and close your eyes and just wait until Tommy and Molly came out. 

“-y? Y/N?” You felt yourself being shaken slightly, eyes opening blearily. 

Tommy was crouched in front of you, one hand on your arm. 

“Oh, shit,” you groaned, rubbing your eyes softly. It was still dark, and you could still see the same couple Wilbur passed at the end of the corner when he’d left, so it couldn’t have been much later. “Must’ve drifted off, I guess.”

Tommy frowned, looking around. “Have you just been alone out here? Where’d Wilbur go?”

“We got into a fight,” you sighed, running a hand down your face, “Uh, would it be possible to crash on your couch tonight? I’d rather not face Wilbur again tonight.” 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine,” he frowns softly, “Do you want to head there now, or do you need us to sit with you for a moment?”

You shake your head and sigh, “I’d rather head there now.” You stood up slowly, Molly coming to help you up as well. 

“Was it a bad fight then? He said he was just going to check on you,” she asked softly, Tommy starting to lead the way back to his apartment. 

“It was… rough. Think he hates me,” you admitted in a soft voice, and she frowned, rubbing your back gently.

“I’m sure he doesn’t. Wilbur’s just a little bitch,” Tommy sighed, and you could hear a mixture of disappointment and fondness in his voice.

You didn’t respond, and the topic dropped.

When you woke up in the morning, it was with the groan of a headache and a sore back. Tommy’s couch wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but it was bad enough to have you holding your back as you slowly sat up. The sunlight streaming in through the blinds made you wish that you had sunglasses, or some form of lightswitch to just shut the sun off. You grabbed your phone, sighing as you unlocked it. There were probably a hundred texts just from Wilbur, along with a few missed calls from the morning. As you scrolled and started reading the texts, another call came through. You huffed, setting your phone down and letting the call ring out.

“It’s been doing that all morning,” Molly hummed, emerging from the kitchen. She set a mug in front of you, and you took it thankfully.

“And here I was hoping to forget last night,” you chuckled bitterly.

She sighed, “He won’t let that happen. He feels like shit. He was on call with Tom for like an hour. Probably just got off, if anything.”

“Did he tell him I was here?”

“No,” she chuckled, “I wouldn’t let him. Figured you’d be too hungover to actually be able to handle that.”

“Thank you,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair, “You wouldn’t happen to have painkillers, do you?”

She nodded, standing and coming back with a small bottle in her hand. You took it from her gratefully, taking two and setting the bottle back on the table.

Tommy walked out, smiling a bit, “Well, I finally got Wilbur to calm down a bit. He knows your safe, but he’ll probably keep texting you until he heads to his office.”

You nodded, opening your phone and turning on Do Not Disturb, “Do you know when he’ll get to the office?”

Tommy shook his head, “Not sure. He won’t stream until later for sure, if he does, but I know he had editing to deal with and some band stuff.”

“Isn’t that stuff he could do from home?” “Possibly? Can’t say for sure.”

You nodded, sighing softly. You wanted to go home, take a shower and eat the pint of ice cream you had in the back of the freezer. “Is there anyway you can get him out of the apartment so I can sneak back in?”

Tommy frowned, “That bad?”

“I just don’t think I can do it today. I can talk to him tomorrow, but today is too much.”

Tommy nodded, “I can text him, see if he wants to get coffee or something?”

“Please, if you can.”

Tommy grabbed his phone, calling Wilbur.

“Hey, Will, any updates?” He asked, giving an overexaggerated wink to you and Molly. Molly stifled a laugh, and you gave a bit of a smile. You couldn’t quite make out what Wilbur was saying, but Tommy was responding a moment later.

“Well, I’m sure they’ll respond soon. They’re probably still asleep, mate. You might need a distraction.”

A chuckle, and a nervous glance towards you and Molly. 

“Yeah, no, I just mean like, we could grab coffee or something. A little pick me up since you’re all upset.”

Tommy listened closely for a moment then seemed to relax, giving you a thumbs up. You relaxed and stood, letting him finish the conversation while you went to splash some water on your face. God, you looked fucking rough. You ran your hands through your hair to try and fix it up a bit, though there wasn’t much of a success there. You used cool water to try and lessen the bloat of your cheeks, sighing when you didn’t have much of progress there either. 

You sighed, walking back out of the bathroom. Tommy was stood up, pulling his shoes on.

“Molly and I are going to head there, and we’ll text you whenever he’s there. My spare is under the mat, so just lock the door and put the key back once you’re done, alright?”

You nodded, “Thanks again, Tommy.”

He nodded, “it’s no problem. Try and talk to him when you can, alright? He’s genuinely upset over whatever happened.” “I will.”

You did not end up talking to Wilbur. Not that day nor the day after. Every time you thought about it, you just felt sick to your stomach. You snuck in the apartment with Tommy’s help, using the time he was out of the apartment to grab some food to keep in your room, and then you just used your room like a shelter. You heard Wilbur come back. You knew that he knew you got home: your shoes were left by the door and your keys hung up on the rack. But he didn’t try to say anything.

Until the day after. He was usually asleep when you left for work, and you assumed the same was true that day. After you came back from work, you snuck past his room, moving quickly to your own in case he heard. An hour after, you heard him knocking on your door, quietly asking if you were there. 

You didn’t answer.

The next two days were a complete repeat. Sneaking out, avoiding him when you got back, ignoring him when he tried to talk. You don’t even know why you were so against talking to him. You wanted to fix it; you couldn’t stand living like this, and you wanted your best friend back. It hurt, though, because every time you thought about him, you thought about the fight. He was a bit drunk, and he always was a bit loose-lipped when drunk, but you couldn’t wrap your mind around why. Why he said those things, why he cared so much about some harmless flirting. You know he didn’t actually think you were someone who slept around or something, but it hurt nonetheless. You were banging your head against a wall trying to understand why he said those things, and it had you grasping at straws, questioning if you two were as close as you thought. You honestly just didn’t know what to think.

You needed to get out of the apartment. You felt a knot in your throat at the idea of going there. So you didn’t.

After work, you just went to the pub. It was the same one from that night, but you just sat at the bar and drank a bit, trying to get your mind off… everything. Your head was swirling with thoughts about the fight, about how much you love Wilbur, about how much you thought he hated you. You didn’t keep track of how much you were drinking. You didn’t feel it at first either. Not until you could barely keep your head up, words slurred as you closed your tab. You stood up, stumbling over your own feet and falling directly into a familiar friend.

“Y/N?” Tommy asked, holding your arms to steady you.

You smiled, blinking a bit as your eyes focused on him, “‘ey, Toms, w’as up?”

His face was full of concern. You found it funny, giggling to yourself as he spoke, “Are you alright?”

You gave him a thumbs up, giggling out, “Mmhm, I’m fuckin’ fantastic.”

“You are fucked, mate, where’s Wilbur?”

You pouted a bit, “He’s at home, like a loser. Di’n’t wanna be invitin’ him for our first conversation since- yeah.”

Tommy’s eyes widened a bit, and he sighed, ruffling a hand through his hair, “Alright, stay here. I’m gonna tell my mates something, and then I’ll be right back, okay? Have you drank water?”

You shook your head, and he nodded again, walking up to the bar where you’d just been and ordering a water. 

“Wait for the water for me, and I’ll be right back, okay?”

You nodded, and he walked away quickly. You turned back towards the bar, waiting patiently, oh so patiently, for the water Tommy had ordered. You could understand why he seemed concerned, but it didn’t really cut through the haze in your mind. You were fine. You couldn’t see straight or stand straight, but you were fine. Everything was so, so perfectly fine. The bartender gave you the water, and you took it, holding it carefully for Tommy. He’s such a nice person, he deserved nice things. When he came back, he took your arm, guiding you outside. 

“Here, take a seat,” he helped you sit down against the wall, pulling his phone out.

“I got your water,” you hummed, holding up the glass.

He chuckled softly, “it’s for you, drink it. I need to make a call.”

You nodded, taking a sip. He stayed stood up as he made a call, words hushed just enough so you couldn’t hear them. Not that you were really able to focus on it much anyway. Your head felt light, but your body felt heavy. Everytime you touched your skin, it felt like it wasn’t your own hands touching you, every nerve felt separated from yourself. Most of all, you were tired. You wanted to sleep. Your head hung forward, and you let your eyes slip closed for a few minutes, just to rest them. 

You weren’t allowed to for long. Tommy gently shook your arm. It felt like a sick parallel of just a few nights ago.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep on me, alright? I’ll get you home soon.”

You groaned softly but nodded nonetheless. 

He sighed, crouching in front of you, “make sure you drink that water alright? Not too fast though.”

You gave him a thumbs up, this one weaker than before. You took another sip of the water, rubbing your face a bit.

“Did you tell anyone that you were even coming here?”

“Nope,” you hummed, popping the ‘p’. “Too- too sad.”

“Too sad?” He frowned, “Is this because the whole Wilbur thing?”

You nodded, and you couldn’t fight the slight tears brimming your eyes, “I just… I don’t get why. I-” you choked on a weak sob, head falling forward again as you quietly admitted, “I love him. So, so much, Tommy.”

You could hear Tommy let out a hiss of air, almost a gasp, gently placing a hand on your shoulder, “I really think you need to talk to him. It won’t be an excuse, but I think you’ll understand it.”

“I want to, I-I’m just scared.”

“What are you scared of?”

“I’m scared that forgiving him means accepting how in love with him I am, because I know it’s hopeless. I’m scared of forgiving him and signing away my heart to someone who- who just won’t love me back,” you felt less coherent than you spoke, the drunkenness letting out slurred words you’d never let pass your lips otherwise.

Tommy frowned, pulling you into a hug as you sniffled.

“I just-” you sobbed quietly, “I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Tommy spoke, rubbing your back gently, “It is scary to love someone, but it’s not a bad thing. I really think you should just talk to him, I think-”

“Tommy?” 

Your heart dropped in your chest slightly upon hearing Wilbur’s voice. Tommy let go of you, standing back up to head over to Wilbur. You took the time to wipe the small tears on your face, brushing off your temporary bout of sadness. Tommy spoke to Wilbur for a moment, and you fought the urge to hang your head again. Quite poorly you fought that urge, letting your head lull slightly, the exhaustion coming in full force. You heard feet shuffling, and you could see Wilbur’s usual Docs in front of you. He crouched down, one hand gently coming onto your cheek.

“Hey, darling,” he spoke in a hushed tone, similar to how one would speak to a wounded animal, “are you feeling alright?”

You hated that you leaned into his touch, even in you didn’t have much control over your body right now. “‘M fine,” you hummed out.

He frowned, clearly not believing that, “Let’s get you home, alright?”

As much as you wanted to fight going back to the apartment with him, nothing seemed better right now than lying in your bed rather than on the cold ground. You nodded, and he carefully helped you up. You immediately stumbled, but he was quick to hold you against his side.

“I got you, it’s alright,” he hummed, pulling you into his side. He gave Tommy a bit of a wave, humming out a thank you to him, before he started walking you both home. 

The ground was swaying – or were you swaying – underneath you, and you groaned softly, leaning into his side.

“I know, I know,” he hummed softly, “if you need me to carry you, just let me know, okay?”

You snorted. “I’m fine, Wilbur,” you spoke with a slur, dragging out the word ‘fine’. 

It made him giggle a bit, and honestly, fuck him for letting out such a beautiful sound, “I know you are. You’re just a bit silly right now, hm?”

“I’m always silly, actually, you’re just a lil bitch.” 

He laughed, holding you closer, “I know I am, trust me. I very much am a ‘lil bitch’.”

You hummed, nodding, “Glad you know it.” You couldn’t stop the words that came out next, “you’re my lil bitch.”

If you’d been looking at his face, you probably would’ve caught the slight flush that covered his cheeks. 

“Yeah,” he hummed, “I am.”

You gave an affirmative nod, leaning your head on his shoulder slightly as you looked up at the world.

“Wilbur.”

“Yes?”

“The lights are moving.”

He snorted softly, “What do you mean, darling?”

“The streetlights are moving.”

He hummed, nodding and stopping walking. “Did that fix it?”

You glared at the streetlamps, trying to determine if they were pretending to be still, “A little, but I think they’re lying about it.”

He started walking again, chuckling, “Oh, they are?”

“Yeah,” you hummed, “Government conspiracy, innit?”

He laughed, nodding thoughtfully, “Yeah, must be. Don’t look at them too much, alright?”

“Why? Scared they’ll start running after us?”

“No,” he laughed, “Just don’t need you throwing up on the street.”

“I’ll throw up wherever I please, actually.”

“Oh, do you need to?” He asked, concerned suddenly.

“No,” you huffed, “I have a gut of steel.”

“We both know that’s not true,” He noted, relieved once again.

“How dare you, actually, that is so rude. I’m going to throw up on your shoes as protest.”

“I’d very much prefer you didn’t.” “Mm. Don’t care. You’ve shamed me,” you giggled, “The shoes will pay for it.”

He chuckled, “I sincerely apologize, darling. Will that save the shoes?”

“Hmmm,” you pretended to think. “Well, darling,” you mocked, “that will save them, but only for now. They’re on thin ice.”

He grinned, walking up to the front of your apartment building and pulling out his keys, “You ready to walk up the stairs?”

You groaned, “Why did we get an apartment on the third floor? This is a curse.”

“You got this. I can always carry you.”

“I can do it, the stairs are just evil.”

“They are evil, but you can conquer them,” he smiled, holding you tighter as he helped you manuver the stairs. 

“This sucks,” you groaned, trying to focus on your steps and nearly failing each time. 

“We’re about half way, love. You still feeling alright? Wanna stop for a moment?”

“If I stop,” you paused, “I will not continue.”

He chuckled, “Alright, good to know.”

You both continued walking up, slower than usual to make up for the fact that you could barely see straight. He helped you every step of the way, taking his time to make sure you’d be alright, which you were thankful for given the amount of times you were tripping over your feet. You finally made it up to the door, fighting the urge to just lean against it as Wilbur unlocked the door. All the movement was making you feel a bit off and even more tired before. Wilbur guided you to through the door to your room. 

He carefully sat you down on your bed, “Stay here, I’ll grab some water, alright?”

You nodded, eagerly sitting on your bed. You relaxed on the bed, pulling your phone and wallet out of your pocket and setting them on your nightstand. Wilbur walked back in, setting the glass of water and a pack of painkillers on your nightstand. He grabbed the wastebin, setting it next to the bed.

“Feeling any better?” He asked softly.

You nodded, but you paused, actually taking a moment to focus on how you actual felt. Your throat felt slightly closed, and your mouth was salivating. And your stomach felt rough. Oh fuck. You leaned over, spilling the contents of your stomach into the waistbin. Wilbur rushed over to clear your hair out of your face, gently rubbing your back as you threw up. You panted softly, gripping the edge of the bed. You cursed softly, wiping at your mouth. 

Wilbur stood, bringing you the water. You drank it thankfully while he walked out for a moment. 

He came back in with a big hoodie and a pair of shorts, and you looked down and noticed the vomit on your shirt and pants. You felt exhausted. You groaned softly, slowly getting up and taking the clothes thankfully, walking to the bathroom to change quickly. You only noticed it was his clothing after you already got dressed, and you did not feel like changing again either. You shuffled out, walking back to the bed. Wilbur was sat, waiting for you. You sat next to him, lying down with your head next to his lap. You wanted to rest your head on his lap, craving the comfort he brings you, but you felt wary to do so. Regardless, he brought a hand down, gently playing with your hair.

“I know we should talk about this more in the morning, but…” he sighed softly, “I really am sorry for what I said the other night. I just- I wasn’t thinking, and I was just drunk and upset. These are all just… excuses, but I… I really am sorry.”

“I know,” you murmured softly, “I knew it was just you being drunk, but… I just didn’t understand why and I was scared you hated me.” You spoke quietly, moving your head onto his thigh, solely so you could hide your face against his chest.

He shifted to move your head fully into his lap. “I could never hate you. I-I have a reason, but it doesn’t excuse what I did or said.”

“What’s the reason?”

He frowned, biting his lip and going silent for a moment, “I… can it wait until morning? I think I may only be able to say it once.” You felt the pit in your stomach drop, but you nodded nonetheless, burying your face further into his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” he continued, “that I brought you to this. Hiding and getting drunk and just… recklessness, I guess. I was really scared when Tommy called me.”

“I’s not your fault,” you sighed softly, “I just didn’t know what to do, I chose to do this. I could’ve just talked to you.”

“You could’ve, sure, but I was… a dick. I don’t blame you for being scared to talk to me. I said horrible stuff. I have no control over who you talk to or decide to flirt with, and it was entitled of me to even act like I do.”

You sighed, yawning quietly. You wrapped your arms around his torso gently, relaxing into him. You could feel the exhaustion taking over, eyelids heavy. 

You spoke quietly, “I was only flirting,” you mumbled, “to try and get over you.”

He tensed, but you didn’t hear his next words, sleep taking you like you ached to take Wilbur’s hand. 

In the morning, you were overwhelmed with a feeling of dread, created by a mixture of the hangover and the remembering. Shockingly, you weren’t alone. You thought once your words had processed to Wilbur, he’d have left you. Instead, you were pressed against his chest, cuddled into him. You could tell he was awake – could feel his hand gently carding through your hair – but for a moment, you just wanted to pretend. After whatever conversation was coming up, you didn’t know if you’d ever get to be wrapped up in his arms like this again. Not to mention, opening your eyes meant an imminent headache due to the daylight. So for a few minutes, you just tried to gain some comfort from this and ignore the growing dread.

But you couldn’t pretend forever. 

“Darling?” Wilbur whispered, “Are you awake?”

You sighed, groaning lightly as you nodded, “yeah.”

“How are you feeling?”

You whined softly, chuckling a bit, “Like shit.”

He chuckled softly, “I have water and painkillers, you want them?”

You nodded, and he shifted up, grabbing them from the nightstand without pushing you out of his arms. You still had to eventually, sitting up to take the painkiller and drink some of the water. You opened your eyes, and you were thankful to find that the room wasn’t as bright as you had thought it would be. You saw Wilbur watching you with concern, one hand gently rubbing your back. You set the water down, sighing softly after. 

He bit his lip before speaking, “Do you… want to talk now or when the painkiller has kicked in?”

The question you were dreading. Better to just rip the bandaid off. “Now.”

He nodded, shifting and gently taking your hand.

“Last night, you said… you were flirting to try and get over me. What did you mean by that?”

You gulped softly, closing your eyes to brace yourself for the potential rejection, “Wilbur, I… I’ve liked you for months now. And I thought I’d get over it, but it just- it just got stronger. I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, and I understand if you want me to move out or something. But I wanted to at least try to flirt and see if I could get over you, and it just didn’t work. So, that’s- that’s why. I wanted to get over the crush I have on you.”

He didn’t respond for a while, and you kept your eyes closed, taking a shaky breath while you waited for him to respond.

“What if… I didn’t want you to get over it?”

Your eyes flew open, looking up at him quickly. He had a shy expression, a faint blush on his cheeks. “What do you mean by that?”

He sighed, squeezing your hand a bit tighter, “I got mad at you flirting because I was jealous. I’ve liked you for a really long time, but I didn’t want to say anything because I was scared to lose our friendship and my roommate. I asked to kiss you that night while we were drunk because I figured it’d be my only chance to ever get to kiss you. But if you’re telling me that isn’t true? Darling, I’d do anything just to feel your lips on mine again, let alone to get the chance to date you and make you happy.”

Oh. Oh. 

You moved a hand up, gently cupping his cheek. He leaned into you, and you leaned forward, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. He let out a quiet gasp, kissing you back lovingly, his other hand coming to wrap around your back. The kiss was short lived, but only so he could pull away to speak, foreheads still pressed together.

“Darling, can I,” he paused, taking a quick breath, “Will you do me the honor of being mine?”

You chuckled softly, nodding, “It’d be the greatest gift I could ask for.”

He grinned, pulling you in for another kiss, this one stronger and… just. 

You didn’t have the words to really describe it. It felt warm. Like daylight resting on your skin on a spring day. The warmth that felt like home. Like pulling clothes out the dryer and just holding them close for a moment. The warmth that came from laughter and telling stories in the middle of a summer night. It was golden.

When he pulled away, you two stayed close, panting lightly for a moment. When you finally separated fully, his arms were coming to wrap around you once more, hugging you tightly. 

“And here I was thinking that I’d lose you when I confessed.”

You hummed softly, “I thought the same.”

He smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “Well you didn’t. And I didn’t lose you. Don’t worry, either, I’ll be taking you on a proper date once you’re feeling better. For now… cereal date?”

“Hm,” you thought, “Can it be a cereal date in bed?”

He chuckled, “Absolutely it can be, my love.”

[cigarette-scented-hotel-rooms]

more starboy since y’all loved him last time

[veenus777]

◜Dadbur Headcanons◞

┊ ᝰ﹕Fluff, SFW, mention of divorce

┊ ᝰ﹕Part Two of Dadbur, send me suggestions and asks for the next ones <3

♧ ok, imagine a mini wilbur with curly hair and a snub nose, well that's your son.

♤ At first Will would be absolutely terrified, he didn't have the best parents in the world so he was afraid of being the same for his son.

♧ This man tries so hard! he didn't want to fall into that stereotype where only mothers really take care of their children, so he'll be there to change their diapers and give them bottles, waking up in the middle of the night to get them back to sleep. He knows how stressful and tiring this is for you, so he does everything in his power to make it easier.

♤ Lullabies but not children's ones, he would play Bowie like Starman and Space Oddity, Beutiful boy would definitely be in the repertoire and he would change the gender if it was a girl.

♧ He would spoil his son a lot, with clothes and toys, and he often buys things that are definitely not for his son's age but always ends up saying "he will use them in the future".

♤ He wouldn't post photos of his child, just one or two that don't show his face, he doesn't like this type of exposure on the Internet, especially with his son.

♧ When the child grew up and had some kind of interest in appearing, he would agree, but nothing excessive, just a few appearances on streams or things like that.

♤ As soon as he reaches a certain age, Will would like him to be at his shows even if it's with ear protection headphones.

♧ If he won a prize he would promptly dedicate it to you and your son.

♤ Possibly the baby would appear in some Lovejoy music videos (when he was old enough).

♧ Would you create a family day that happens every week, where you both take time off from work just to spend time with your child outdoors having picnics, trips to the beach, going to amusement parks and things like that.

♤ You would also have a game night, with a good pizza and board games or video games, sometimes you also invite your friends to participate.

♧ Another family tradition is to always have dinner together and talk about your day and plans for the next one, you also like to cook dinner together it's always a lot of fun.

♤ You also always travel on vacation to different countries, you want your child to get to know different cultures and experiences.

♧ Trips to Disney with Uncle Tommy are definitely your child's favorite.

♤ Once a week Phil and Krist babysit for a romantic parental date.

♧ Will would definitely cry on the first day of school, I see this man coming home and checking his watch every 5 minutes to see what time he will have his son back.

♤ As a first-time father he would also despair at any slightest sign that his child is falling ill.

♧ I can easily see Will, Tommy and Charlie dressed up like princesses and made up for tea time, and they would absolutely love that.

♤ He goes to put the baby to sleep and ends up sleeping in his place>>>>

♧ I think during pregnancy with his first child he would be extremely nervous but after that he would definitely want more children.

♤ I think he would like two or three, nothing too big but not small.

♧ He would be in favor of positive and non-aggressive parenting with his children, he would also be a great supporter of all of his children's choices.

♤ He would also be in favor of teaching his children to be independent with things like handling money, knowing how to cook, having responsibilities and things like that.

♧ When he was on tour with Lovejoy I feel like they would have two options, the first is that if your children are young and not studying yet he would try to convince you to go along with him, but if the children are not so young anymore he you would just feel really bad about leaving them and wonder if you are being a bad father.

♤ In the second option he would make a point of calling all the time, at least two calls a day, he would also buy gifts and things from every country or city he visited, collectibles like postcards or key chains.

♧ He would have lots of photos of his children, some funny ones with just them sleeping, and his lock screen would be a photo of his loved one next to his children.

♤ Even if you separated he would be a good father, he would try to solve all your problems so that it doesn't affect the children and they have a good co-parenting.

.˚｡  💋 .˚｡ 💌

[joviepog]

this might be a little cliche but, can you do a Wilbur x reader where they are both musicians and it’s like they are communicating through song lyrics?? totally understand if you don’t :))

AWE I HAVENT EVEN THOUGHT OF THIS!!!

—♫—♫—♫-♫-♫—♫—♫—♫—

Love at first sound.

Who: Wilbur x reader

Warnings: None!

Pronouns: They / them

Requests: From Anonymous

Anything else: I hope you dont mind but i made it that they confess their love over their songs. And then one time they preform together like Lovejoy and GoodKid and then the crowd realizes that they are looking at each other :)

—♫—♫—♫—♫—♫—♫—♫—♫—♫—♫

Ah love at first sight. A thing we all dream of on the daily. But little did you know, this would happen to you soon.

It wasn’t much of a secret that you were very much in love with Wilbur since the first time you streamed with him. Shelby, Jack, and Scott could see it, chat could see it, damn even wilbur could see it. You were head over heals! And from that’s moment on, you wrote almost cry song while thinking about him.

Dont worry its not like you only streamed with him once. You guys were close now! You guys talked every day for almost the whole day. You guys met up and hung out all the time. You guys would even go to each others houses on the daily. So being in love with him wasn’t much of a surprise.

And when he found himself liking you, well he wasn’t all that surprised either. Nor was he surprised when eh started writing loves songs about you. At first it started with his own music but then it went on to his band as well. But that’s alright, because you wrote every song you’ve ever made about him too. And every time you would listen to a song of his, you would reply with your own love song.

Soon enough, wilbur asked you to play with him at one of his concerts.

“So… Y/n… i was wondering if you wanted to play at a concert with me?” He rushed the last part and he closed his eyes. You gasped and put your hands over your mouth, “OH of course of course!” You giggled. “I would love to play with you wilbur!”

And only three days later you found yourself being a backup singer for wilbur. He was staring at you the whole time he was singing. And when it was your turn to sing your songs, you were staring right at him. The crowd obviously noticed this and were awing and cheering any time you guys would inch closer to each other.

The next day though, twitter was buzzing with clips of you and wilbur looking at each other with cheeky smiles on your faces. You were both blushing and a sweating mess from all the movement.

You sighed, “oh how i want this to be true.” You looked at your screen sadly. “What do you want to be true?”

You quickly turned off your phone. “AH n-nothing! Nothing at all.” You hid your phone. “Right… So, i wanted to tell you something.” “Mmm?” You tilted your head like a curious dog. wilbur rubbed the back of his neck and blushed, “A-about my little secret.”

[poraphia]

"Twitter Headcanons Status: Dating!"

pairing • wilbur x reader twitter posts • 8.31.23 containing • cute little moments between reader and wilbur on twitter! just for funsies really hehe my masterlist • ღ mrs. mania ღ on Tumblr

“we're a little quirked up on the bird app.”

♡♡♡

♡♡♡

a / n ~ ykw i shouldve used will's priv account for this. might do more just different stages of relationship like friendzoned or ldr <333 reblogs and likes superrr appreciated!!

[haunted-headset]

Wilbur talking about YN at a concert and YN just happened to be streaming and chat told her. Then once wilbur gets back from tour (theyre roommates) YN mentions it and wilbur gets all flustered 🤭

💬 Everybody Talks Too Much 💬

Summary: Wilbur was talking about Y/N at a concert and Y/N happened to be streaming & her chat told her. Then, once Wilbur gets back from the tour, Y/N mentions it & Wilbur gets flustered AF

A/N: guys go follow @joviepog, they're basically one of the reasons you guys get fanfics. Also, this title was based off of a song called Everybody Talks :p

pairing: CC!Wilbur x afab!musician!reader

pronouns used for reader: She/her/hers

tags: @vibestillaxxx @joviepog @ax-y10 @themonsterunderurmom @wilburstan @smolsleepykitten @funnyreally2009 @crows-death @thewheelersgaygaragelights @dykepunz @aresriiots @0miamor0 @cathers-world @defonotval @chipch0p @mazzistar16 @unmellowyellowfellow @justalittlebitofchaos @thosecolorfulsheets @vopix @taylors-version-from-the-vault @aine-lasagna @merianakross @veeislost @urfav-sapphic-siren (pls let me know if you do/don't want to be tagged!)

warnings/cw: reader & Wilbur getting flustered, swearing, mentions of whimpering audios

proofread?: *aggressively shakes head*

genre: fluff

word count: 455

"Do we have to steal Wilbur's YLYL rules again, chat?" You said to your chat with a laugh. "It seems like Wilbur's the only one who can tame you feral fuckers." You were doing a YLYL stream & your fans thought it would be a funny idea to try & send whimpering audios through MediaShare. You were not amused. Just then, a different video had been sent in. You were very prepared to pause the video or have the mods remove it, but you then saw your roommate Wilbur in the video.

"What's this?" You asked with a raised brow. You read the caption of the video, which read, "Wilbur was talking about Y/N during one of his concerts!!!!" You felt your face get hot.

In the video, Wilbur had just finished a song & he said to the crowd, "Guys, I forgot to mention, but shoutout to my roommate Y/N, because they stuck around even though I forget to pay rent half of the time & I bother her with my dumbass rambling! So, yeah, respect for my pretty hot roommate!" He said it so easily as if it were nothing. As if he didn't just call you hot.

"...interesting," you mumbled. The chat was blowing up with 'lol' messages & comments about how red your cheeks were. You didn't really care because you heard a knock at your bedroom door. You were home alone.

"Uh...come in?" you said to the knocking at the door. Wilbur then opened the door. "Wilbur?! You're back from tour?"

"Yeah," he smiled. He became Beardbur again during the tour & he looked very tired. "Sorry, I didn't tell you. I wanted to surprise you."

"Nah, it's fine," you said. "I was too busy to pick you up anyway."

"Wow," Wilbur said sarcastically, placing a hand over his heart & scoffing. "I can't believe that you would prioritize your streams over me!"

"Oh, piss off," you laughed.

"What're you doing?" Wilbur asked, looking at the webcam. He looked at the video & raised a brow.

"We're doing a YLYL stream," you said. "& my chat sent a video of you talking about me during a concert."

His usually pale face went ten shades pinker. "Th-that must've been edited or something-"

"Wilbur, it's fine, I know you're madly in love with me," you said jokingly. He laughed awkwardly.

"Oh well, I'll leave you to your weird chat," Wilbur said as he quickly got up & left the room. You waved goodbye & saw that someone had subscribed & left a message along with the sub.

"WILBUR LIKES YOU! HE SAID SO DURING THE SHOW! I JUST DIDN'T SHOW YOU THAT PART!" The message said.

"...what?" You said softly.

[deejayrockz]

PAIRING — cc!wilbur x reader

SUMMARY — neck bites.

NOTES — fluff, the neck biting is sfw !! fem reader in mind, but it's not really specified,, lowercase is intended, small small little drabble

EXTRA — i have a job interview tomorrow and decided to write this instead ..

it had just hit 1am before wilbur finally came to join you in bed, his eyes closing automatically, as he took off his clothes to change into some pyjamas (joggers and a black t-shirt).

he flopped onto the bed beside you, placing one arm above his head to cover his eyes, the other resting on his stomach. you happily made yourself comfortable on his chest, eyes closing to the sound of his heartbeat.

"d'you have a good day?" you asked, tracing small swirls into his chest, as you moved your head to look up at him. a small smile was now on his features, as light kisses were placed on his jawline.

"yeah, didn't do much, but ive got sound checks with the band tomorrow," he groaned, hating the thought of having to ever get out of bed.

you just hummed, placing one last kiss to his jaw, before suddenly getting the urge to bite. was it normal? probably not. are you going to do it anyway? definitely.

"ow!" he laughed, facing his head to the left of him, just out of your reach. however, you had sat up by now, a smile on your face.

you held his jaw, facing him to you again, seeing the soft smile on his face as he looked at you, eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes.

"what are you saying ow at?" you played dumb, smiling innocently as he rolled his eyes.

"you bit me!" he argued, rubbing the bitten jaw slightly, before moving his arm to trace doodles on your back.

"i didnt do such a thing," you smirked, before leaning in and biting his neck, feeling him giggle and try to move away.

"you're such a little gremlin," he laughed, before pulling you down, holding you tight against his chest so you couldn't move. finally, you relaxed, your head tucked into the crook of his neck.

"goodnight, love," he whispered, kissing your hairline.

"goodnight," you bit his neck once more, kissing it, then drifted to sleep, a smile on both yours and wilburs face.

[loversj0y]

bad day?

cc!wilbur soot x gn! reader

TWs: dissociation, explicit implications of self harm, blood

word count: 2.1k

note: please, please, please, heed the trigger warnings. i have been going through a rough time and i wrote this fic as a coping mechanism, so please be aware of what you are going into. it's not my best work but it brought me some comfort to write it, so i hope it may bring you some comfort to read it

There was blood on your hands. 

Why was there blood on your hands?

You looked up in the mirror. It took a few minutes to recognize where you were. You didn’t recognize yourself, but you knew you were looking at yourself. 

You were standing at your sink. There was blood on your hand, dripping into the sink. Fuck. 

You were slowly coming to, turning on the water from the sink and gently running your wrist until the tap. You held in a whimper, hissing at the feeling. As irritating as it was, the cool water and the sting helped ground you more and more into yourself. Once you washed the majority of the blood off your hands and arm, you sighed, slowly taking a seat on the bathroom floor. You couldn’t stand staring at the stranger in the mirror anymore. Opening up the cabinet, you pulled out the first aid kit, nestled at the back behind Wilbur’s spare hair products. The first aid kit collected dust most days now. It almost felt like it was mocking you as you opened it up, pulling out some supplies.

You made quick work out of cleaning. You didn’t want to have to stay here staring at your arm for any longer than you had to, and you’d rather not still be here on the floor when Wilbur got back from filming. After you were properly bandaged, you pulled a hoodie on and just collapsed straight into bed. You had no conscious idea of what time it was, but you felt exhausted regardless. 

You stared at your bandage for a few moments, tracing the line of where the gauze met your skin. Wilbur taught you how to do it properly. Your recovery was no secret to him, and he had always been incredibly supportive. However, the first time he had seen the way you bandage your arm, he looked almost appalled and immediately pulled out the first aid kit again. 

“Darling,” he was chuckling lightly, as if the issue was something far lighter than it was, and it made you feel more at ease as he started undoing the bandage you had done. “I’m going to teach you how to do this properly, alright? I don’t want you getting an infection on me.”

“And how do you know how to do it properly?” You asked, eyebrow raised. 

He hummed, pulling out some antiseptic cream and gauze. “You don’t spend as much time in and out of hospitals for no reason without picking up small things. I went in once because I had a pain in my side that my brain convinced me was my liver failing.” He started rubbing the cream onto your arm so delicately as he continued, “While they went to do tests, I was sharing a hospital room with this guy who had gotten this bad infection on a scrape on his leg. They were training some new nurses, so they started going over appropriate techniques for wrapping cuts and scrapes.”

“And you listened?” 

He looked up at you, pausing his hands to just smile fondly at you and chuckle, “of course I did. As convinced I was that my liver was failing, I also just thought to myself: well, if I survive this, there’s nothing saying the next time I get scraped up won’t be my end. So may as well learn how to prevent it and buy myself some time to say goodbyes.” 

You snorted softly, “That’s pretty dark.” 

“Yeah, I wasn’t doing the best at the time,” he chuckled lightly, “but it was for the better. Because now, I can make sure that doesn’t happen to you.” 

You smiled gently at him, leaning forward to kiss him gently. “Thank you, Wilbur.” 

“Of course, darling. Anything.” He smiled, turning his attention back down to finish wrapping your arm. 

Once he finished, he turned your hand over, kissing the top of the bandages. 

“If you’re trying to be cliché, that’s the wrong side,” you hummed. 

“Oh please, I saw your face when I was wrapping you, I know how tender your arm is right now. The day one of my kisses hurts you will be the day I die.”

You flushed softly, taking his hand and squeezing it gently, “Dramatic much?”

“For you, darling? Always.” 

You thought about that night as you pulled your sleeve back down to cover the bandage. No matter how much you knew Wilbur wouldn’t judge you for it, you still felt a shame bubbling in the back of your chest. Instead of pondering it or letting it consume you, you let the exhaustion take over you instead. 

You woke up to the feeling of arms wrapping around you, shifting and sighing. 

“Hi, darling,” Wilbur spoke softly as you turned to face him, settling into his arms, “Bad day?” 

You nodded softly, sighing and looking up at him. He had a gentle smile on his face. Never judgemental, always kind, even if he was finding you in bed after a few days. Even if your room was a mess and your hair was oily and you couldn’t stop crying. He always met you with nothing but kindness. 

He gently brushed some hair out of your face, gently kissing your forehead. He spoke gently, “I saw the first aid kit on the bathroom floor.” He kept the light smile on his face, as if he was asking you about the weather, not your own mental doom. “Do you want to talk about it? Or just lay here for a bit.” 

You leaned forward, resting your head on his chest. When you spoke, your voice was a bit jagged, “Lay here first. Talk after.” 

He nodded, pulling you into him closer. You pressed your head onto him, relaxing slowly. You focused on the sound of his heartbeat, closing your eyes again. He hummed softly. You could spend the next day just lying here before you spoke again, and he would never complain. He’d take as much time as you needed. 

You didn’t know how much time passed before you opened your eyes again. When you did, you watched Wilbur’s face for a moment. Contently, he continued to hum, eyes closed as one hand absentmindedly traced figures into your back. You took a deep breath before speaking softly. 

“I don’t really know what happened,” you spoke. His eyes opened slowly, his gaze full of nothing but love and acceptance. He nodded a bit, waiting for you to go on. 

It took you a while to continue, but he didn’t push, just waited patiently. 

“It felt like a glitch or something. One second I was staring at myself in the mirror and the next I was staring at blood dripping into the sink. I don’t even remember doing it.” 

He nodded, keeping you close, “Did something trigger you?” 

You frowned a bit, “I- I don’t know. I don’t think so, I just…” You trailed off, unsure of how to put it into words. 

“That’s okay. To not know,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, “walk me through your day. I’ll try and see something you don’t.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Alright, uh. I woke up pretty late. You’d been gone for a while already, the bed was cold.”

“How were you feeling when you woke up?” He asked softly. 

“Uh,” you thought, “hard to say. I- I guess numb? Didn’t particularly sway one way or the other.”

He nodded, “Alright, continue.”

You nodded, “I went to the kitchen first. Didn’t change out of my pajamas, but I went and I got water. Then I made some breakfast, something light, but I don’t remember what.” You took a deep breath, thinking back and sighing, “I- I remember feeling gross.”

“Gross?”

“Like physically? I couldn’t remember the last time I’d showered, so I just felt gross. So I went to take a shower. I- I felt… rough. Couldn’t look at myself without feeling gross, no matter how much I’d cleaned myself. At one point, I was just staring at the floor completely… blank. There were no thoughts really going through my head, it just felt like I couldn’t get out of my head.”

“What got you out of it?” He asked gently. 

“My phone went off. I- I never actually checked it, but the sound startled me enough to pull me out of it. I got out, got dressed and everything. And I stopped in front of the mirror to put product in my hair, but when I started looking at myself, it just… cut out from there.” You finished, frowning and focusing your eyes on the seam of his sweater. 

He nodded softly, “Can I see the bandage?”

You shifted your arm, lifting the hoodie sleeve to show him. “I used your method, don’t worry.”

He inspected it carefully, nodding. “Should probably change them, it’s been a while. Are you alright with me doing it, or would you rather do it yourself?”

“You can do it,” you spoke softly. 

He nodded, standing briefly to grab the first aid kit. “How here are you?”

You sighed, thinking. “About 95%. Still not fully here, but I’m mostly all back to myself.”

He nodded, sitting back on the bed next to you. He carefully started undoing your bandages, humming again to himself as he finished getting them off. 

“This will sting,” he warned, waiting for your nod before gently starting to wipe the wounds with an alcohol wipe to disinfect them. You hissed softly, and he gently shushed you. 

“I know, darling, it’s alright. I’m almost done, you’re doing great,” he spoke softly, distracting you until he’d finished cleaning them. 

“There you are, the hard part is over, love,” he spoke softly, grabbing the antiseptic cream and gauze, starting the process of dressing your wounds once more. 

“Scale of one to ten, how bad do you think they are?” He asked softly.

“Physically? They’re not that bad, probably a six. Mentally, I’m not sure. Probably a nine.” 

“A nine?” He asked softly, focused on wrapping the gauze over your wrist but still listening intently. 

“It’s just another reminder that I’m not doing good. That I’m never going to be able to fully heal. I know healing is not linear, but it’s still frustrating to have a physical reminder of it.” 

He nodded softly, “I can understand that. I think you may just be focusing on the wrong thing.”

You tilted your head, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I think when this happens, you focus on the whole thing about breaking the amount of time you’ve been clean. Am I right?”

You nodded, so he continued. 

“I think instead of focusing on the streak being broken, we should focus on how good it is that you went as long as you did. You’re treating an addiction like a competition instead of an addiction. You can’t just stop all at once, especially when you were used to doing this every day. So instead of being upset that you didn’t go as many days as you wanted or that you have to start over, focus on the fact that you went as long as you did without doing it. Because it’s a big thing, and a good thing. It deserves its praise.” 

He finished wrapping your wrist, and he placed a gentle kiss to your palm. 

You sat up, slowly leaning forward and resting your head against his shoulder. 

“Thank you,” you whispered softly. 

He wrapped his arms around you gently, whispering back, “of course, darling.” 

You kissed his shoulder lightly, and he rubbed your back gently. 

He waited calmly for you to pull away before pulling you into a gentle kiss. He placed a hand on your cheek, gently rubbing his thumb on your cheek. 

You kissed him back gently before resting your face into his hand. 

“You said your phone going off helped break you out of it when you were in the shower, yeah?”

You nodded softly, looking up at him. 

He used his other hand to gently brush your hair from your face, “alright. Moving forward, when I’m not home or not with you, I’ll text you at least once at the start of every hour. And unless I know you’re busy, if you don’t respond within… thirty minutes, I’ll call you. Does that sound good?” 

You nodded softly, “That sounds good. Maybe within twenty instead of thirty though.” 

He nodded, “alright. We can experiment with it or change it up occasionally to see what works best. Good game plan?”

“Good game plan,” you nodded softly. 

He smiled, pulling you in for another gentle kiss. 

“Good. Now, choose your comfort film of choice, alright? I’ll order your favourite in too, God knows I won’t be cooking tonight.”