#luckily in the afternoon they changed my schedule this week

[euphoricfilter]

☆

[hoshigray]

𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 | satoru gojō

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Is it possible to wish to be in the embrace of someone who makes you want to throw them off a cliff? You seem to think so, and the same goes for Gojo. But alas, good things always come to an end, even when not meant to be...

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Gojo x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern + college AU - frenemies to lovers + mutual pining - Gojo and reader are at least age 20 - implied fwb relationship - catching/awakening feelings - oral (m! receiving) - ball massaging + sucking - sex in a shared room; college dorms (alone) - cowgirl position on a chair - breast fondling + sucking + nipple play - protected sex (psa: wrap it up, or get tf up) - pet names (baby, cutie, pretty, princess) - heavy depiction of a blowjob - cameos: Haibara and Ijichi - fluff + angst; misunderstandings - humor bc i'm [not] funny.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.6k

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: second part, let's goooo!! i loved ur support and comments from the first story, so hope y'all are excited for this part :DDD and ty so so so MUCH for 5.5k like??? i kiss you on cheek, every single on of you, hehehe~

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“If you’re not gonna help, then leave my dorm!”

“Ehhhh, hell no! It’s cold as fuck outside; you want me to freeze to death?”

“They’re…still going at it.”

“Yeah…give it a minute, and we’ll just go to the library without them?”

It’s coming down to the last week of January; university students are finally settling in with their new schedules and getting used to the groove of the spring semester. Or some run around trying to keep up with the new semesters and the change of weather already getting on people’s nerves, wanting nothing more than spring to come quickly.

Three weeks in, and you already have stuff to do, one of them being an argumentative presentation assigned by Professor Yaga in your Contemporary Issues class. You and three other people are tasked to find sources for a topic issue you find interesting and then present a discussion-based presentation on two sides of the topic (two people in favor and two people against).

Unfortunately, the groups were to be randomly assigned. Luckily, two friends you knew in the class, Haibara and Ijichi, were picked to work alongside you! However, the bad part was that another person you knew was assigned to work with you, and he happens to be the guy getting on your last nerves right now, sitting on your couch while clicking through the television channels with the remote. 

Your roommates weren’t home today. The club fair was occurring at the quad, so Mei Mei and Utahime had to go out and represent their clubs for the afternoon. Shoko is having an intense study session with Geto for an exam on the first of February, so they’re at the library now. 

That leaves you alone at your dorm, using this as a perfect opportunity to invite your group over to work on the project. 

“You can freeze your nuts off and become the next Jack Frost for all I care; if you’re not going to do your part of the work, get out!”

Well, minus you yelling at your partner, who clicks his teeth before turning to you. His round sunglasses shone from the light reflected from the living room windows.

Satoru Gojo was your number one nemesis within these campus grounds; this was a known fact to everyone, especially the other group members who nervously examined you two bicker. Being in the same space as him is enough to make you wish you could pull your hair out or put him in the nastiest headlock you could do. Worse, being assigned to the same group as him for your project almost made you want to rip your ears off. 

But you had to suck it up; at least you were the first group to start a presentation. Better now than worry about it later, right? 

“Pssh, fine, I’ll get up and—Oh! Wait, you guys have Digimon on Hulu? Ahhh, sick!” 

Nevertheless, you can’t say that when your supposed partner acts like a child glued to your TV screen instead of doing the work he promised to do. You grit your teeth with a twitching brow, “Why you…”

Across from the common area was the kitchen, where Haibara and Ijichi sat at the dining table. The two sophomores could do nothing but feel the tension between you and Gojo grow with every passing second, suffocating the younger duo. Haibara eyes Ijichi from across the table and whispers, “Wanna make a run for it now?”

The black-haired second-year didn’t reply, only a hurried nod before the two grabbed their coats and stuffed their laptops back into their backpacks. The sound of their zippers alerts your ears, turning to them to question, “Huh? Where are you two going?” 

Haibara takes it upon himself to deliver a half-lie as he zips up his jacket. “On second thought, Ijichi and I are thinking of taking the shuttle to the library to work instead.”

Huh? The library? Were they leaving because of the belligerence between you and Gojo? God, you hoped not. “Wait, you guys don’t have to do that. I already made you guys walk all this way here; it’d be rough to have you leave for somewhere else…”

Ijichi comes with the assist after putting the sling of his messenger bag around his shoulder. “It’s okay, Y/n. We found material from the library we could use as sources, so we’re heading up there to take some notes while they’re there.” 

“Yup!” Haibara exclaims in agreement, and the two walk past you to put on their shoes by the front door. “Maybe you guys can find sources of your own while we’re gone, and then we can converse and share what we found when we come back. Sounds good?” 

“I suppose so…” you couldn’t shake the feeling that they were leaving to avoid being in the same room as you and Gojo. The guilt is hard to endure since you didn’t mean to make the younger boys uncomfortable. “See you guys, then.”

“Cya!” And with that, the door closes on their way out, leaving you and Gojo alone in your apartment. 

Well, this is just great; you’ve driven your group members and friends away and are now stuck with the nuisance of a partner who still keeps his attention on the television. It takes everything in your power not to pop a vein. But with one calm breath, you steady yourself and stand tall. 

You walk in front of the TV, blocking it from Gojo’s view. The white-haired boy throws his hands up in exasperation, but you couldn’t care less. “What’s the big idea?” He questions you as if he has a right to at this moment. 

You cross your arms across your chest with narrow eyes. “Haibara and Ijichi just left.”

“Uhh, yeah, I heard the door,” he maneuvers his body to try and see the children’s show blocked by your figure. “Doesn’t have to do with me—“

“It does have to do with you.” You interrupt him, taking two steps and bending to stare him down. Your face is a foot away from his. “You’re supposed to be here to work with Haibara on the ’no’ part of the argument while me and Ijichi do our part. You’ve only been here for thirty minutes, and the only thing you’ve done successfully is take off your shoes at the door and read your manga books on the couch. 

Gojo chuckles – oh, how you hated his laugh – as he puts his hands behind his head, spreading his long legs from their crossed form. “You heard them, no? They’re going to research on their own and then come back. Besides, you know I’m not one to start stuff right away. I’m a procrastinator, remember?”

“You’re annoying; that’s what you are.” You straighten up with a heavy sigh.  God, I wish Utahime and Shoko were here. They’d help me out with this white garbage…

“Ahhh, lighten up, Y/n. It’s not like the presentation is on Monday; we got until Friday to come up with everything.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that, smartass. And you’re right: I do know you. And I know you tend to do things at the last fucking minute. But not this time!” You watch him try to put his feet up on the coffee table, and you quickly intervene by kicking them off. 

“Tch. Look, you knew what you were getting into being partnered with me. And relax; those two said they’ll be back to discuss the material later. They already left – nothing I can do about it.”

Your hands rest at your hips, tapping your foot with visible frustration. “Oh? And I wonder why they left in the first place, Gojo. Mind telling me how?”

He quirks up a brow with a smug grin — a telling sign that you’d get ticked off with whatever he’s about to say. “I don’t know, Y/n. Why not ask the nagging control freak talking to me right now, huh? Maybe their short height and angry temper are affecting the mood of those around them to be miserable like them.” 

You almost did it — your hands nearly gave into your intrusive thoughts and were about to lunge at the snow-haired guy’s neck to wring around like a rag doll. But you played it off with a clap, rubbing the palms together to distract your temporary violent thoughts.

You sucked your teeth and turned on your heel. “Forget it. I’m gonna go take a nap.”

He scoffs, “Good, maybe your tiny brain needs it to calm down.”

“Choke and die, Gojo!” You say down the hall, already at the door of your shared bedroom. Before slamming the door shut, Gojo’s patronizing laughter can be heard to your dismay. With gritted teeth, you march to your bed to throw yourself on the mattress. 

“Ughhh. That Satoru Gojo,” you curse his name under your breath as if he’d hear you through the walls. “So unserious…”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

To be quite honest with himself, Gojo doesn’t necessarily hate you.

The white-haired boy lies on his side on Utahime’s bed, watching you nap. He did knock on the door – believe him, he did. He even gave you the good old ten-second rule, waiting for your response. But then you didn’t, which gave him the initiative to waltz in and see you in your slumber.

You slept so peacefully; your face at peace, and your faint snores were the only things his ears picked up on. It was as if your little nagging show from earlier was hard to comprehend when seeing your tranquil state in front of him. It used to be rare to see you like this. Keywords: used to be.

For the past two to three weeks, your relationship with Gojo has become more…intimate. Ever since he took your first kiss and drew your virgin curtains, the two of you have gotten a little closer than before — both platonically and physically. Something that Gojo never thought he’d experience with you, his tiny, cute frenemy. 

Gojo has known you since freshman year; you were two in the same enrichment group to prepare you to transition into college life. Personally, he wasn’t much for the program; he found it a waste of time, a mandatory prerequisite that he felt he didn’t need. He’s all about experience, wanting nothing more than to get on with his day, go to classes, hang with friends, and repeat. 

“Hello, my name is Y/n. It’s nice to meet you all!”

And then came you, the person sitting across from him at the round table your group would always meet at. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enamored by you the second he saw you. Gojo rarely finds someone who could easily pull his eyes to them — not saying the girls who’d usually crowd and admire him weren’t pretty. There was something about you that kept him wanting to know more – to engage more – about you. 

One thing he knew from you was that you carried your character with pride. Your achievements, your personality, your kindness, and your mannerisms — all of which were displayed elegantly and were a breath of fresh air to look at. You stood out to him more than all the other kids in the group, his eyes always finding a way to steer from the professor’s advice to your alluring, listening face. 

Another thing Gojo liked about you was that you weren’t afraid to stand your ground, especially when discussing with your peers or him. Sure, you were always respectful and would respect other people’s arguments. But, God, the way you said things so constructed and nuanced, it had the tall other glued to you whenever you spoke.

He’s not going to lie; he’ll admit that he’d try to tick you off and get you to get a little angry with him when it came to arguing. He couldn’t help it. He just liked the thought of you layering out of your poised appearance to the point you’d glare at him whenever you saw him in the halls. And it had him giddy knowing he’s the one that made you angry because you looked cute. 

And that was the other thing he really liked about you. The more you two interacted, argued, hung out with his friends, or attended classes together, the more Gojo’s fascination for you turned into that of a school-boy crush. He wouldn’t admit to anyone of this (minus Geto and Shoko if his life depended on it) because it certainly wasn’t something to be known. He was okay with what you two had right now, being the friend who loves to push your buttons to see you nag at him. 

That was until you two started sleeping together. Because holy fuck, the past weeks you two have been sneaking time to have each other’s bodies close made Gojo’s mind go crazy. So fucking crazy like the feeling of you on him is borderline addicting. Your whiny cries calling out to him when he scrapes your sweet spots, your nails scrape on his chest, your half-lidded eyes when you look at him, or how you whisper his name only for him to hear.

This was the kind of relationship you two brewed, a secret thing only between you two. And Gojo was satisfied keeping it like this because it was what you wanted. No need to flaunt it around; it was no one’s business. Besides, he likes having you to himself, seeing a side of you that only he could imagine and experience.

The sensations of your body under his touch, the various tunes of your voice, and the beauty exhibited in your gaze. It was all addicting. You were addicting.

“Who told you to lie on my roommate’s bed? You know she’ll kill you if she ever saw you.” 

It was so addicting that he didn’t even notice you awake until you spoke to him, the erotic memories of you clouding his brain dissipating at the indication of your voice. He smirks, “Oh, I’ll be fine; not like she can hurt me with her tiny self.”

You’re too groggy to roll your eyes, sighing as you turn to your side to face him from across the room. “How long was I out for?”

“Almost an hour,” he replies, switching to sit criss-cross on Utahime’s bed. “I got bored watching TV and knocked.”

“How long have you been in here?”

“Maybe twenty minutes?”

“Just watching me sleep?”

“Yeah.”

You let out a scoff, shaking your head. “Weirdo.”

He snickers at you for recognizing his silliness. “Whaaat? There’s not much to do aside from looking at you. I got bored of the TV.”

“What about your manga?”

“Got bored of that, too.”

“Anyone on your socials that you’d wanna talk to? Girls? Friends? Your teammates?”

“Mmm, nah, none I’d wanna talk to right now.”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you mean ‘right now’? You make it seem like I’m keeping you from interacting with your outside life. If you’re bored, talk with whoever you want. Maybe bother Geto…No, nevermind, he’d probably be annoyed since he’s studying.”

Gojo examines you, silently removing himself from your roommate’s bed and treading towards yours. He takes off his sunglasses and places them on top of your dresser before sitting on his knees on the floor. He rests his hands and chin on the edge of your bed, his sky-blue eyes locked in with yours. God, you were so beautiful to look at. 

“I meant that I don’t want to talk to anybody.” Now that he’s closer to you, his voice dials to a whisper. “Not when I got you here to myself.”

He notices your brows drawing upward at the sentence. “To yourself?”

“Mhmm,” he hums, bringing a forefinger to trace your brow. A sensual touch not to startle you. “Just you and me.”

You give him a look as if you think he’s trying to pull something. “Don’t tell me you were making me mad at you earlier just so Haibara and Ijichi could leave, and I’d be stuck with you.”

His smile broadens with every word, his dimples out to see. “No, although I hate that I didn’t think of that myself.” His hand goes to your cheek for his thumb to stroke gently. “Would it have been a bad thing if I did?”

You don’t reply, only placing your hand on his. Your eyes are still on his blue orbs, and – you don’t know this because Gojo has the perfect view of you – the light from the window made them shine charmingly as it highlighted your face. 

“No…I don’t think so,” you murmur, gaze gradually venturing down to his lips. “I like being around you…Satoru.”

He heard his name leave your lips, an invitation to what he wants to do, his eyes fixated on your lips before closing them and drawing in closer. “Me too…”

The kiss was soft and gentle like he always starts with, waiting for you to give him the okay to kiss you again. And when you meekly lick his bottom lip, he gives in to your request and claims your lips again. 

Your moans were so sweet to his ears — his favorite thing to hear — especially when he becomes a little devilish and sucks on your tongue to make you whimper a little louder, turning him on even more. It serves as the perfect distraction for him to snake a hand into your shirt, his hand already making itself home and cupping your breast in your bra. 

You break the kiss with a gasp, and massages to your mound make your breath shaky. “Mmmah…you sneaky pervert,” you name-call him sweetly. 

“Can’t blame me; I just know that you like to have your tits played with.” Gojo sneers, tweaking your nipple to hear you gasp again. “Hey, remember you said you���d suck me off next time?”

“Huh?” The question threw you off before you could fall deeper into a euphoric haze. 

“Don’t ‘huh’ me, you promised!” He whines to you like a hurt puppy. “After I ate you out for twenty minutes straight last time, can I just have your mouth on my dick once?”

“I never told you to eat me out for twenty minutes!”

“You crying and telling me not to stop said otherwise!” He stands his argument, even if you warn him with a glare. “Just suck it, please. I haven’t felt your mouth in a while.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. You didn’t expect to deal with his childish tendencies, but it is Gojo we’re talking about. You sigh, “…Fine, Satoru.” And then the white-headed boy beamed at the confirmation, immediately standing up and heading to your desk. It was an abrupt change of pace for a second until he brought your desk chair out. 

With glee, Gojo flings his jeans and boxers with ease, his half-hard cock out for you to see. He sits on your chair with spread legs, “I’m ready~.”

You roll your eyes, yet the smile on your face sneaks without you knowing while leaving your bed and crouching between his legs. “You’re such a big baby sometimes…”

Your hand finds its way to the body of his dick, gliding it up and down to feel the veins under your palm and fingertips. Gojo hums to your cold fingers, hitching his breath when you tease him with a blow of air. 

Your free hand comes to his balls, massaging his testicles in a way that has his leg jerk. He tries to fight it, but the squirm on his legs says otherwise. “Hahhh, fuck…quit it…”

“Hmm? What, you don’t like it when I tease you?” You peer up at him with a smug grin before using your tongue to lick on the glans slowly, and he covers his mouth before a gasp comes out after lapping on his frenulum. “But when you do it to me, it’s not a problem, huh?”

“Mmmph, shiit, Y/n—Ohhh…!” Another jolt of the hips after you lick and kiss one of his balls, teasing the skin with a kiss and tiny chews that would have him choke on his breath. “Jesus, fuck! Y/n, baby, you’re driving me crazy….Aishhh!!

“Oh, really?” God, you were such a fucking tease. But he fucking loved that so much. “What should I do?” You ask him before sucking on his balls again, and a hand comes to your shoulder to grip. 

“Mmmm…Blow me off, princess,” shivers crawl up his spine as you place kisses from the base of his cock towards the tip. “Please, I wanna feel you…” 

You giggle at his reply, finally taking in his cockhead to your pretty lips and sighing through your nose as you hollow your cheeks to take in more of him. 

Gojo sighs at your licks and sucks on his girth, his erection becoming accommodated to your oral cavity wonderfully. You unhurriedly prompt yourself to take in more of him until your lips reach his pubes, your throat now full of him, and the warmness of your gummy walls makes him squirm more. 

Bobbing your head at a moderate pace, you suck him off to that of a pleasurable cadence. You still use your hands to stroke him, Gojo melting to your touch even more. He throws his head back when you attack his tip again with the onslaught of licks and laps, the hand on his balls roughly kneading them jerks him to moan aloud. 

Fuck, it feels so fucking good having you suck him off like this. How your tongue moved up and down on him was so dangerous, prompting him to place a hand on your head for support. As if that would help, you don’t show him mercy when you suck him harder and faster. The noises coming from your mouth sounded so erotic and pornographic, the heat on his face brewing out more. 

“—Khhmm, fuck, man, I can’t…Ahhh! Y/n, I’m gonna cum if you keep licking it like that. Stop, st—Ahhaaa!!” 

But like he said before – you’re a tease (if not worse than him). You remove Gojo’s dick from your mouth and throat at once, the groan he exerts fueling the fire in your body. You stand to withdraw your shirt, bra, and panties to the ground, knowing Gojo’s watching every move. “Don’t get mad at me; I know how much you wanna cum inside.” 

You pull out the condom from the pocket of your skirt, placing the rubber on his cock after removing it from the wrapper. He couldn’t help but laugh, “Seems like you’re more of a pervert than me if you had that ready while those two were here earlier.” 

“Shut up,” you playfully kiss him with a sneaky bite to his bottom lip. Then, you mount and align your cunt on his dick, the glans kissing your wet labia. “Hmmm, fuck…”

“Relax, cutie,” he kisses you on the cheek while his hands fondle your breasts. 

You slowly descend your slit onto him, the tip of his cock pushing into the entrance of your vagina. A couple of exhales and inhales keep you steady when inserting him into you, not letting the pain distract you from the task at hand. And the both of you moan in unison when it makes it in, your hips leisurely coming down on him until your ass rests on his thighs. 

You grind on him with the roll of your hips, evoking choked intakes of air from him as a hand goes to your ass with vigor. His face to your chest while the other hand plays with one mound. His lips found a nipple to pop into his mouth to suck on. 

With a slow pace, you rock your hips onto him. Your legs bent for your feet to be on his knees, the chair solid enough to withstand you bouncing on Gojo’s dick with repetition.  

“Hoohhh, ohhhh, mmmm,” your hums are expressed in tunes. The curve of his cock is so fucking good, scraping your insides with precision. You couldn’t help but increase the speed just a little bit. 

Gojo keeps sucking on your nipple; the grazes of his teeth and pushing the bud up to the roof of his mouth only fuels more quivers to travel down your bouncing figure. Both of his hands now under your skirt to feel the flesh of your ass under his hungry grasp. He kneads your asscheeks with every thrust to your chasm, and your shrieks get louder by the second. 

“—Mmmph! Shit, shit, you feel so good, pretty,” he finally lets go of your hardened nipple, burying his face to your chest. “So fucking good for me…fuhuuuucck!

You could feel your cunt contract around him; every graze to your sensitive spots prompted your walls to grip around him. He hisses, looking up to see your expression as you ride him out. Fuck, you looked so good on top of him like this. He’ll add this position to the list of things to do again with you.

You peer down to see that Gojo is staring at you, and you quickly bring a hand to cover his eyes. “—Ahhahhn, d-don’t look at me like that! Yer soo embarrassing…!” 

He only chuckles at your shy demeanor, especially during this. But he humors you, not fighting your makeshift blind for him to see you wholly. He’s seen it all already — felt it all, too. And he could never get enough. 

“Ooooh, Satoruuu—Nnaaahh!” He loves how you say his name, your hand traveling to his hair to grab in tuffs. “Oh, fuck, ‘toruuu, I’m gonna cummm…!”

“—Hnngh! Yeah, baby?” Oh, he knows. The way you’re grinding to and fro on his pelvis tells him so. “Go ahead, princess. Clench on me and ride it out.”

And with that, your hips go to an erratic pace that has the both of you holding for dear life. The squeeze of your inner walls clenching on him almost makes him choke on his spit, the nails of his fingertips forming crescents on your skin. And you scream at it, slamming your ass onto him as you both climb up to orgasm. 

Within seconds, it hits the both of you like a train. This had to be Gojo’s favorite part of the entire thing, experiencing having your folds clamp and flutter around him as you cry for him. It took everything in his power not to come with you because he wants to have you on him a little longer. You just felt too good to let go — too addicted to your body to be done with one round.

When the contractions subside while your slurred howls get quieter, Gojo gives you a few minutes to let your body be free from the aftershocks. He knows your body is extra sensitive now, rubbing circles on your back and placing chaste kisses on your clavicle. You hum under his lips, letting the wave of your crescendo exude out from you quietly. 

However, since you wanted to be such a tease, why not be a tease back? At least, that’s what Gojo thought before he threw your cunt another snap of the hips, his cock jabbing into your delicate walls that haven’t recovered yet. A sharp cry comes from your puffy lips, the hand covering Gojo’s eyes finally freeing him to see you. 

He grins with hooded azure eyes, “Sorry, cutie, but I didn’t get to finish. Wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t get to have fun of my own, right?” 

You chew on your lip with trenched brows before bringing your face to his. “Don’t you get carried away like last time, Satoru.”

“No promises, princess~” he sings to your ear before humming into your lips. 

As mentioned before, Gojo doesn’t hate you — he just hates that he can’t fully express liking you. 

But having you on top of him like this, in his embrace, is a nice change of pace he’ll happily get used to.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Okay, everyone, class dismissed! Thank you for your time, and see you all on Friday.”

Professor Naga closes up the last class for today, and the students all get up from the seats of their elevated rows to pack up and leave. The clock is ten minutes before seven o’clock, the winter darkness already claiming the sky with a sheet of night. Students are either famished and heading to the dining hall for food, going straight to their dorms or homes, or staying behind for last-minute conversations.

Gojo was one of the latter, deciding to stay behind to chat with the group for a bit. After packing his backpack and putting on his coat, he slings from the table to jump to the row below him, where you were talking with Haibara and Ijichi. 

You watch his stunt, ready to lecture, “Jesus, Gojo, what’s all that for? You could’ve just walked around.”

“Ehhhh, why would I do that? That’s so lame.” He comes and bends close to you enough to slang his arm around your shoulders. 

But you click your teeth and try to maneuver away from his tall figure. “You’re lame,” you mutter under your breath.

However, Gojo’s ears perked with furrowed brows. “What did you say?”

“You heard me, you lame white furby!” You repeat yourself with a huff and the snow-haired student gawks at your brazenness. 

The two of you argue again; students passing by silently exit the class, others stand and watch, and Professor Yaga can only sigh at yet another altercation between you two. 

However, it quickly dissipates when Haibara laughs from his seat. “You two, there’s never a dull moment.”

You and Gojo blink at the dark brunette before removing Gojo’s hand from your shoulders. “Hmph, it’s not like it’s my fault; he’s the one who starts it.”

“Oh, what could I possibly do to make Y/n so upset with me this time?” He pushes up his sunglasses, snickering at the scowl you send him. 

Ichiji, being the passive second-year he is, meekly changes the topic from the row below you three. “On some brighter news, at least we did well on the presentation.” 

“That’s right!” Haibara happily agrees with the statement, leaning against the chair with his hands behind his head. “Professor Yaga seemed really pleased with our arguments; I don’t think he intervened even once. Plus, he said many good things about how we handled the topic. Nice one, team!” 

The raven-haired one hums at the other’s exclamation. “I think most of it goes to how Y/n and Gojo bounced off each other’s arguments. How you two pulled up examples from the articles yet remained dignified with your viewpoints was cool to witness. I even saw some students be engaged with the conversation, many amazed with how Y/n refuted Gojo’s arguments elegantly and respectfully.”

But most of all, what the two sophomores wanted to mention was that there was no yelling. To them, the professor, and all the students of this class, you and Gojo presented your presentation without a single tone of malice, no pointless teasing, no name-calling, nothing! It was a civil conversation between two opposing sides. To everyone’s surprise — and thankful stars — today was a success.

You chuckle nervously at the praise. “Oh, come on, you two, don’t let me and Gojo take all the credit. You guys did your part. Especially you, Ichiji; you were an exceptional help for my side and finding sources I could build off from.”

Gojo, on the other hand, rolls his eyes. “Psssh, don’t butter them up like that; without us, they would’ve failed this presentation big time. No offense.” He was forced to say that when you called him by his last name and hit him with your elbow.

None taken, the two younger friends say to themselves unbeknownst to each other. 

The tall one continues, “Besides, you were the one who did most of the work. I slacked off until the last minute when you whipped me into shape.” Gojo brings his hand on top of your head for a pat. The action surprised you enough to flinch a bit. “Nice work like always, Y/n.”

Were the stars aligned differently, or did Gojo just compliment you? It certainly took you aback, especially the two others who silently kept their observation to themselves. 

You could only look at his complacent look for a few seconds before you realized the warmth of your cheeks became stronger. Averting your eyes, you remove his hand from your head. “Thanks, Gojo…” you express gratitude. “You weren’t so bad yourself.”

A cheeky smile, his dimples prominent to blind you. “Awww, would you two look at that? They’re complimenting me, too~” Another bump to the chest has him cackling like a child, and you shake your head with rolled eyes.

The two younger students observe the scene before Haibara forcibly stretches and yawns to catch the two’s attention. “Man, I’m so hungry; I skipped lunch to prepare for this presentation. Me and Ijichi are gonna meet up with Nanami at the dining hall. You guys wanna come?”

You instantly beam at the proposal; who are you to refuse a dinner with your friends? “Sure! I’d love to…Oh! Wait, let me use the restroom and fill my water bottle.”

You rummage through your backpack for your water bottle before exiting the classroom. The boys watch you descend from row after row, and Gojo says, “Don’t take too long; I’ll convince them to leave without you.”

“Hmph, go ahead and try! They invited me; I don’t know who told you to invite yourself.” You stick your tongue out at him before opening and closing the door behind you. 

Gojo watches you with a smile still plastered on his face for a few seconds before Ijichi makes a tiny cough to catch his attention, the sunglasses-wearing junior turning to look back down to the other two. He notes the albeit cheesy-smiling faces they harbor, and he lifts a brow. “The hell are you two smiling for?”

The raven-haired sophomore squeaks at the sudden firm tone, “N–Nothing!”

“Pfft, oh come on, Kiyo; let’s not act like we didn’t see what we just saw.”

Gojo catches the nuance of Haibara’s comment. “Saw what?”

“You’re over here talking about our faces, but you’re the one who’s smiling at Y/n as they leave the door?” The brunette sophomore sends a wink to his junior, whose face doesn’t change at the comment.

“And your point is?”

“Well, it seems — to me, at least —  there might be something going on with you and Y/n?” 

Gojo was prepared for that, opening his mouth to interject quickly. However, the dark-haired other beat him to the punch. “Now that you mention it, Gojo and Y/n have been kind of…stable? There's still the usual arguments, but those haven't happened as much since last week…”

“Right!?” Haibara points at Ijichi with exclamation, making the other second-year flinch. “For some reason, things seem to be a little quieter with the two of them now, not to mention them hanging out way more often. Everyone’s been talking about it; even Geto and Shoko asked if Gojo had done anything that made Y/n passive?”

“I asked Nanami about it on Monday; he thinks maybe Y/n finally knocked some sense into Gojo’s childish brain to have him be so civil to engage without yelling their head off.”

“Pffthaha, I wouldn’t go that far. Y/n did just kick him in the shin yesterday for scaring them from behind.”

“Ahh, yes, well, that was deserved.”

“You two realize I’m still standing right the fuck here, right?” No, they hadn’t because the two discerned the twitch of Gojo’s brow after conversing about the tall, white-haired boy. 

“But it’s true!”

Another voice enters the set, making Gojo raise his head, and the other two turn to their left. It was some girl and her friend. Gojo knew of her; she sat next to him during class. Again, he knew of her, meaning she had no significance to his knowledge.

And yet, she speaks to the three boys. “You and Y/n have gotten a lot more close these past weeks compared to previous semesters—“

“Real close, too!” Their friend adds on from behind. “It’s as if you two are like a couple.”

“So…Are you two….a thing?”

Gojo could tell from a mile away what this was. Obviously, the first girl has a thing for him — he can see the anxiousness from the twiddle of her thumbs and avoidant eye contact. Although he wasn’t interested, he couldn’t even answer the question the way he wanted. What the hell could he say: that you two are in a secret relationship? He knows you’d have his grave ready before he could finish that confession.

And he can’t say the two of you are in any relationship either; it’s not what you would’ve told them. To everyone else, you and Gojo are friends who would preferably be caught dead rather than lying in bed together. So, might as well keep that facade up.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” he starts with the push of his sunglasses. “Y/n is a pretty good friend, and I’d like to keep it at that.”

Haibara and Ijichi turn from Gojo to look at each other and shrug. Before turning back, something caught their eye that caused the two sophomores’ skin to turn white.

Ijichi tries to prevent Gojo from speaking further. “G-Gojo—“

However, the tall one doesn’t listen. “I mean, sure, they got a nice personality and are independent…Kinda pretty, too, not gonna lie. But they’re not really my type. I mean, have you seen them? Just a little person who likes to find trivial stuff to yell at me over. Angry at the world around them, I’d say.“

“Go. Jo.” Haibara says the junior’s name through gritted teeth, bringing his hand up by his neck and drawing an imaginary horizontal line back and forth — a gesture for Gojo to not say anymore. But unfortunately, the sign wasn’t seen, and the words kept pouring out.  

“And to be honest, can you imagine? Me and Y/n, a couple? Jesus Christ, that would be fucking exhausting to deal with, especially with someone so boring and too uncute like them. I’ve seen prettier, been with better. I feel sorry for the poor bastard who does end up with them—“

“SATORU GOJO!”

Now — that sudden burst of yell from a loud, masculine voice — that was what got Gojo’s attention. It’s what got the attention of everyone else in the room. The snow-haired student jerks to look at the professor standing at the front, the older man with a deep frown. “What?

The professor doesn’t answer him. Instead, he points to the left of him with his chin with a huff. With common sense, Gojo turns behind him to see where the older man points. And at that moment, he felt his very being drop to the soles of his feet. Haibara and Ijichi took a slow breath in unison at the immediate tension.

Behind him stood you, a lone figure holding their water bottle within three arm’s length away from the group. But that was sufficient enough for you to have heard everything said. 

Breathing suddenly felt impossible for Gojo; his entire body was stiff under your gaze. His shades could hide his eyes, but he wasn’t sure it could shield the instant shame that slapped him across the face from you. 

And that was another thing: the look you harbored was indecipherable — the true definition of disengagement. There were no widened eyes, quivering lips, or shaky hands. You stood plainly and looked as though you were detached from the entire situation. And that was what scared him the most.

This was strike one.

He dared not move when you began walking up, and your eyes then shifted to ignore his presence. “Hey, Yu,” the brunette straightened his posture at the use of the first name. “I think I’ll have to decline on that dinner offer. I’m a little tired and have a paper I need to work on…Maybe next time?”

“Uhh, yeah, sure, no problem.” He answers with a sweat.

Wait a second. Gojo tries to call for you, “Y/n—“

“Ijichi,” but you immediately shut him down and directed your attention to the other sophomore friend as you put on your coat and stuffed your water bottle back into your bag. “Be sure to submit the presentation template and sources to the course site before the end of the day, please.”

“U–Uhh, already done, Y/n.” He squeaks while reassuring.

Wait, please. The tall one tries again, “Wait, Y/n—“

“Good.” You sling your backpack on, refusing to look at the person trying to talk to you. “Well, I’ll be seeing you, then.” And with that, you turn on your heel and head down the row to leave.

No, wait, stop— “Y/n, wait!” This was strike two. 

Gojo doesn’t hesitate to call out to you. At that moment, he follows you to the class steps where you were a row down left from the door. He grabs your hand without thinking, the size of your palm captured by his slender fingers. He knew it was a risky move, but he had to — he had to get you to talk with him right now, if not ever. Because the latter is something he isn’t ready for, something he didn’t think would be a possibility.

And yet, he will learn this lesson of being prepared for the impossible when you rapidly turn to him. Strike three.

SLAP!

Have you ever seen someone get smacked in the face so hard that their sunglasses come off? The remaining two girls who witnessed it know for sure now. Haibara and Ijichi won’t admit to it as they immediately turn to the other side of the room when they saw your hand move. But please believe they winced at the sound of the impact. The same goes for Professor Yaga, who was too stunned to speak, yet it was a valid outcome. 

Gojo didn’t move a single limb, allowing the stinging feeling on his cheek to course through his facial muscles. His eyes were glued to the carpeted ground; he knew that’s where they were supposed to be. And you snatched your hand away from his grasp, leaving his fingers to suffer in forced loneliness.

“You…you think it’s all fun and games to say stuff like that when I turn my back for a few minutes, huh?” He can see your hand palpitate from his peripheral; the anger depicted alone was enough to interpret. And the tremble in your voice? It felt like an arrow to his being. “…Look at me.”

He’d be a fool to have you repeat yourself; he has lost that right to toy with you now. With a slow inhale, Gojo rotates his head at you, azure eyes tracking up your figure to your face. And when it lands at that destination, his heart is shot down.

Tears stream down vexed, watery eyes. Your brows furrowed, and your bottom lip chewed in a terrible attempt to stop it from quivering. The rise and fall of your shoulders as you moderate your breathing, trying so hard not to let your temper dwell into a deeper phase of ugly. It was bad enough you’re crying in public, in front of your peers, your teacher — and it was because of him. 

“From this day forward,” you fight your sniffles to say your statement as clearly as possible. “Don’t you ever talk to me, Satoru Gojo. Enjoy your life without something as boring as me.”

And with that, you dismiss yourself from him and the class altogether, the room silent even after the slam of the door closed. No one says anything, too shocked from the event to utter a letter. 

The silence aids the ringing in Gojo’s ears, his breathing still having trouble maintaining a balanced front. The cheek you slapped burned with pain; he’s sure the skin is as red as a cherry. 

Oh, fuck.

He brings a hand to his face, his body fighting the trembling. The ringing in his ears worsens, along with the pounding in his head that beats like a drum. His eyes stuck to the ground below him, choosing to focus on something inanimate and not living. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck—

All he could think of in this time and place was you. Memories flashing right before him, of you and only you. He can hear the way you say his name, both in vexation and in sweet tunes. Your smiles, your frowns, your huffs, your whispers. When your eyebrows scrunch whenever you express worry for him, how you’re never afraid to stand up against him when making a point, the smile that’s been blinding him for many days and nights — the smile he wouldn’t mind seeing for eternity.

All those memories were one stab to his heart after another. And every time a recollection ended, a flash of your crying face would return to haunt him. Tears that weren’t meant to be there but were, and warm feelings you expressed with him were gone the moment he saw your eyes void of feelings for him. At least, that’s what he saw.

He hurt you. That was the only revelation that haunted him where he stood, making his voice falter from confidence. It was a revelation he never meant to bring about. And now that it exists and he sees the damage, nothing would be better for him now than the ground beneath him swallowing him whole.

“What…the fuck…”

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 ❤︎ reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ dividers by @/cafekitsune & @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.

[cameronspecial]

A New Kind Of Normal (Part 3)

Pairing: Dad!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Fight With A Parent, Swearing, and Fear of Relapse

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.0K

Summary: Rafe has accomplished his goals and is now able to meet his daughter for the first time.

Masterlist

Over the past month, Rafe has gotten a chance to learn more about Stella from his weekly meetings with Y/N. Stella was born on May 17th, 2020 at 10:59 A.M. Her first word was Joshy, said at eleven months old when she was calling for help from her uncle Josh when her uncle Benedict would mercilessly tickle her. At two years old, she became obsessed with witches after her mother read her a book about them and it has been her favourite topic of conversation since. Her favourite colour is dark purple and her favourite food is any soup in general because she likes to pretend she is drinking a witch's potion when she eats it. The most important fact of all to Rafe: Stella Rachel Y/L/N is his little girl’s full name. Y/N had tried her best to come up with a name close to Rafe, but all the names closer she found on the internet didn’t go with Stella. Nonetheless, the action still touched him when Y/N told him that was the reason.

And now, he’ll finally get to meet his little star. His hand fidgets with the small nob on his watch, making the hands go clockwise and counterclockwise. He watches as Y/N reads over his toxicology report. She didn’t require him to do a weekly toxicology report to prove that he was staying sober, but he wanted to show her she could trust him. The logical part of him knows she won’t say that he can’t meet Stella, yet a small part of him fears she might. 

The small smile she gives him relieves him of his anxiety, “This is great, Button. I’m so proud of the work you put into staying sober.” Forming a friendship with Y/N was another amazing thing that happened this month. When she started using the nickname she gave him the night Stella was conceived, he felt the air leave his lungs just like it does now. “Thanks. I was really scared that I might relapse this week after I got into an argument with my dad, but I called Diana, did some breathing exercises and looked at my picture of Stella. It all helped me get through it,” he replies truthfully. He had truly felt fear that week when he found himself on the road towards Barry’s trailer. Luckily, he was able to fight through his desire and pull over the car before he got there. Y/N nods and reaches out to place a reassuring hand on his, “Well, I’m glad you were able to recognize your craving and reach out for help with managing it. So do you want to come over after we finish our coffee?” 

His lips stretch so far apart that people would think he is the Joker. He pulls out his phone to check his schedule, “No, I won’t have enough time to go home and change if I come tonight. I also need to get her a few things before I meet her. How about tomorrow afternoon? Is that okay?” “You know you don’t have to make a big deal about this with the changing and the gifts. As long as you love her and show her that love, she is going to reciprocate those feelings,” Y/N argues. 

“I know, I just… Meeting her is all I have been dreaming about for the last month and I want it to be perfect. Plus, it really couldn’t hurt to get her a few bribery toys.”

“I understand how you feel. When Benny came home the week before Stella was born with the wrong colour paint for her room, I almost threw a chair at him. I wanted Finch yellow, but he got funky yellow. It didn’t matter that they were virtually the same colour. I just need her room to be exactly how I planned it. So you can come over tomorrow. Just don’t buy her too many toys.” 

“I can’t be held to a gift-buying limit. I have to make up for five years.”

——

Y/N watches as Stella tries to get ready by herself, thinking about what is going to happen in just ten minutes. “Mommy, help, please,” Stella cries out for help. Y/N’s focus returns to her daughter and she has to stop herself from laughing. Stella has gotten her shirt stuck on her head because she has been trying to get her head through the armhole. Y/N approaches the young girl and helps put her head through the right hole. “You were almost there, Stells. I’m proud of you,” she praises, giving the little girl a kiss on the head. Stella shouts a thank you as she runs into her mom’s room. 

Y/N follows her daughter to her room and carries Stella over to the bed. Once Stella is safely on the bed, Y/N turns toward her dresser to get her perfume. “One tiny spray for this wrist,” Y/N pushes the top of the perfume so the scent falls on her daughter’s wrist. “And one tiny spray for the other. Now, you are ready to go. Why don’t you wait in the living room for Mommy’s special guest to arrive.” The little girl runs off as her mother suggested and Y/N is left alone in her room. She looks at herself in her mirror, wondering how her life is going to change once Stella meets her dad. It’s not that Y/N doesn’t trust Rafe, he has shown her that he really is trying. It’s that Stella isn’t going to be solely Y/N’s anymore. She will have to share some parenting duties with Rafe and it feels strange for her to do that. She is the one who stayed up with Stella when she was puking all night last year. She is the one who would read the little girl a bedtime story every day. She is the one Stella goes to when she is scared. Now, Y/N is going to have to learn to let Rafe do those things too. 

Rafe nervously wipes the sweat off of his palm and adjusts the hat on his head. The time on the clock shows he is five minutes early, but he can’t wait any longer. He knocks on the door and rocks on the balls of his feet. The door creaks open, yet Rafe is met with an empty doorway. It is only when he looks down that he sees the perfect little star staring up at him with her brilliant blue eyes. “Stella Rachel Y/L/N, what have I told you about answering the door to strangers?” Y/N scolds, walking into the room with an adorable motherly look. Stella looks back at her mother with a pouty look, “I’m sorry, Mommy. But I knows we were going to have a special guest.”

Rafe is in awe at how adorable she is, but he takes this as his chance to do the first fatherly act he will ever do. “Your mother is right, Stella. What if I was a stranger?” he poses, kneeling down to her level. She gives him wide eyes, “But you weren’t. You are the man who Mommy yelled at.” Her words cause pain to shoot through his heart. The first memory his little girl has of him is his argument with her mother. Y/N can see the hurt that crosses Rafe’s face and beckons the pair away from the doorway. “Yes, he is, Baby. But he apologized to Mommy and we are friends again. Did you see his hat?” Y/N points out. The small blue eyes move from his face up to his head and her eyes turn to delight. “You’re wearing a witch’s hat!” she exclaims, reaching up to her father’s head to try it on. “Can I try it on, please?” Glad that his conversation start is working, he takes the hat off and places it on her tiny head. Everyone giggles as the big hat falls over her eyes. 

Now, that the ice has been sufficiently broken, Y/N decides it is time to make the introduction Rafe has been waiting for. “Stella, do you know why I asked my special friend to come visit?” Y/N sits on the couch, bringing Stella on her lap. The little girl shakes her head and rests it on her mother’s chest. “He’s your Daddy, Baby.” The excitement in his daughter’s eyes as she turns toward him sends him over the moon. The tiny girl flings herself into her arms and screams his new name. He never thought someone would call him those words, but now it’s the only one he wants to hear. “Does that mean you can play witch with me? I have a hat you can borrow.” With her now in his arms, he can smell the familiar vanilla fragrance of Y/N’s perfume. It makes him smile that she wants to be just like her mommy. Before he can answer, she runs off to her room to get her toys. She returns dragging a big plastic cauldron behind her. Rafe feels his father's instinct kick in. He jumps off of the couch and runs over to pick her and the cauldron up in his arms. Stella looks at him in awe, “Wow, my Daddy is super strong.” This absolutely kills him and he kisses her on the cheek. 

——

Y/N, Stella and Rafe have spent the afternoon playing various games their daughter wanted to play. When it got closer to dinner time, the three of them worked together to make something to eat. “Button, can you please pour me some more water?” Y/N asks, holding up her glass for him to do it. He picks up the water pitcher and pours it for her, “Of course, Buttercup.” Stella may be three and eleven months old, but she is very observant. Throughout the afternoon, she noticed the tiny glances Rafe would send Y/N’s way. She noticed how his hand would reach to find her skin, yet it never seemed to land. She noticed how he would always ask for Y/N’s approval. And just now, she saw how his lips formed a massive smile because of her mother’s attention. 

The small girl starts to form a plan in her head; she can see how much her father is pining for her mother. He clearly needs her help. “Mommy, I like Daddy’s hair. Do you?” she questions, looking back and forward between her parents. Y/N looks up from her food to look at Rafe, “I do like his hair. It looks nice when the front of his hair falls down like a little curtain.” He stops mid-stab of the pasta to look up at her through his lashes. “I’ll take note of that then, Buttercup,” he brings his hand up to hide the blush on his cheeks. Stella is very satisfied with the results of the beginning of her plan. She feels like a genius. Y/N doesn’t know that she is going to regret letting Stella watch Hallmark movies with her. 

——

After dinner, Rafe is preparing for the roughly hour-and-a-half drive back to the Outer Banks. Stella is holding on to Rafe for dear life because she isn’t ready for him to go. “Mommy, why can’t Daddy stay?” she begs, looking at her mother sadly. Y/N frowns at her daughter, “I’m sorry, Baby. Not yet, there is nowhere for him to sleep. Plus, Daddy has work tomorrow and you have daycare.” Rafe can see the struggle Y/N is having with saying no to Stella and he helps her out. “How about I go over to the diner on Friday? I’ll be there when you get back from daycare. Maybe I’ll even have a surprise,” he offers, whispering the last part in her ear. 

The darling’s eyes light up like a Christmas tree and loosens her arms from his neck. “Okay! I can’t wait to see you. Bye, Daddy. I love you,” she bids adieu. She hops down from his arms and runs to get ready for bed. The quicker she goes to bed, the faster Friday comes. Rafe calls back I love you. The two adults laugh at the child as they watch her run off. The laughter dies down and Y/N turns her body toward Rafe. “It’s okay that I come by on Friday, right?” Rafe confirms with a hopeful smile. 

“Of course, as long as you are sober, I won’t stop you from seeing her. The extra business is good too.” 

“Haha, I’ll make sure to deposit my paycheck before I go in then. Also, please let me know if you need anything. Money for food, rent, toys, clothes, tuition. Anything, okay. I want to pull my weight. She’s my daughter too.”

“I will, I promise. Thank you for coming over tonight. You made her day.”

They both look at each other for a second and then notice the time. “I should probably get going. It’s getting late,” Rafe concludes, taking a step closer to the door. Y/N tries to hide her slight disappointment, “Uh, yeah. Drive safe. See you on Friday.” Rafe nods his head and opens the door. “See you on Friday.” Y/N stays by the door as she watches Rafe walk down her driveway. She waves goodbye to him as he gets into his car and drives away. Once he is out of sight, she closes the door and reflects on the day. It was strange to have Rafe there, but she doesn’t regret the decision. She saw how much he cared for Stella and it solidified the idea in her mind that he is meant to be a father. This is a new kind of normal that she can get used to. 

——

Since Sarah and Rafe moved out of Tannyhill, Ward insisted on having family dinner every week. Everyone knows Sarah’s departure is the main reason why Ward wanted to do so, especially since Ward tried to have just Sarah come to dinner. However, thanks to Sarah, Ward gave in to inviting Rafe. Most dinners start with Ward getting small talk with Rafe about work out of the way before he moves on with asking Sarah about a full second-by-second breakdown of her week. And this Wednesday is not any different, but Rafe has something else other than work to talk to his dad about. 

“Actually, Dad, there is something I want to talk to you about,” Rafe brings to the table, looking Ward dead in his eyes. Ward stops chewing, not really expecting Rafe to have anything else to say. Ward tilts the end of his fork toward Rafe, “Okay, what is it?” “I have a daughter. Her name is Stella. She is three years old, almost four. And she looks exactly like me,” Rafe gets everything out in one go. He may have known about Stella for a month now, but he didn’t want to tell his family until he knew he could step up and be the person his daughter needed. This causes everyone at the table to freeze and look at Rafe in surprise. Ward’s eyes narrow; his brows become one. “What do you mean?” he gets out in a rough tone. 

“I mean that five years ago, I had sex with Y/N and she had a baby nine months after that. I didn’t know about Stella until last month. I didn’t want to tell you guys until I was a month sober and certain that I could be there for her.”

“You better tell me that this is a joke because I can’t believe that you could be that much of a screw-up. How do you even know she is your daughter?”

“I told you, she looks exactly like me.”

“How do you know that’s not because you want to believe she does? How do you know that bitch isn’t lying to you? You were so useless that you didn’t even get a paternity.” 

Rafe stands up at what Ward calls Y/N and points a finger at his father. “You have no right to call her that. I know she isn’t lying because I trust her. I won’t make her get a paternity test,” he yells. Ward lets out a low chuckle, “Okay, fine. Do whatever you want. But I’m going to need you to get a lawyer and write up a contract for child support if that’s what the bitch is after. There is no way you are actually going to raise that kid.” “You need to stop calling the mother of your granddaughter a bitch. And why can’t I raise my daughter? You are always telling me I need to take responsibility and I am. Why can’t you just be proud of me?” he argues, his anger getting to a whole other level. The other members of the dinner see that this fight is not about to end any time soon, so Sarah steps in. “Dad, stop. This isn’t going anywhere. And you should be proud of Rafe. He overcame his addiction just so that he could be a better father. That’s amazing and I’m proud of him for that. I, for one, am excited to meet my niece,” Sarah reasons. Wheezie butts in too, “I want to meet Stella too.” Rafe gives them a thankful smile but gets up angrily.  

“Thank you guys for your support. I’ll talk to Y/N to find out when you can meet Stells. Dad, I wish I could say that I am surprised but I’m not,” he begins. “No matter what I do, I will never compare to Sarah and I won’t force you to meet your granddaughter. I think I’m going to go. Goodbye.” Rafe storms out of the house and slams the door. He gets to his truck and is about to drive away, yet he knows he shouldn’t. If he goes now, he is scared it will lead him to Barry’s. Instead, he pulls out his phone and dials a number that recently entered his contacts. “Hey, Button. Is everything okay?” Her voice is like a light guiding him back to home base. He vehemently shakes his head, “No, I’m not. Do you have time to talk?” Y/N immediately stops what she is doing and gives him her full attention for the whole night. 

Taglist: @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @drewstarkeyswifehoe @kisstaya @magicalyoura @mp-littlebit @loverfu55ii @dark1paradise @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @alyisdead @emeloyy @js-a-writer

[dreamerschroniclesofstories]

Hey love ! Hope you’re having a wonderful day/night 🩷

Could you please do a Tommy X reader where the reader works for him ( it could be his maid or secretary) and someone says something mean to them and they feel so humiliated that they leave. At first Tommy doesn’t know what happened until someone tells him and he goes ballistic and ends up defending her then they end up together 🩷 it could be angst to fluff please :) thank you so much

Sorry for any mistake !! English is not my first language

Hey lovelie! Thank you so much for your ask, I can definitely do that for you!. Hope you guys enjoy.

This fic will be based around season three, this means that Tommy and grace do not get married, in this she had Charles then left Tommy. Also, in this Lizzie is a bitch but its only for the purpose in the fic x.

Summery: request above

Word count: 2,321

When you were twenty, you had graduated from bed-ford college, which was very uncommon since not many people could read or write, but luckily your mother learnt you from a young age how to both which allowed you to complete your studies.

However, this meant that when people found out you were from London and had gone to one of the most prestigious colleges for young women, you were judged. Most people thought you were a privileged woman from a rich family. Unknownst to anyone but yourself, you aren't. You lived in a one bedroom apartment with your mother and two younger sisters. Your father had left your mother ,after your youngest sister was born, for a younger woman.

As you grew up, your mother had become ill, she had began to suffer from Melancholia, as her doctor described it. She never recovered from it and died when you had moved back home after graduating. When your mother died, your young sisters were left in your care and you decided you wanted to leave London and find somewhere else for your sisters to grow up. After nearly four years, you found your current home, Birmingham.

You loved your job, all you had to do was respond to letters for Tommy, make sure his schedule was up to date, make sure there weren’t any over laps and make meetings on his behalf. The only bad part of the job was sharing the room with tommys other secretary, Lizzie stark. At first, when she had started working two weeks after you started. She was nice, you spoke everyday, had lunch together whilst on break but once you started to get closer to Tommy she began to change.

At the beginning, you pretended not to notice, thinking maybe she was just having a bad day but every time you went into tommys office without knocking or every time Tommy comes in work, he stops to speak to you and asks you how your weekends been and how you sisters are, Lizzie would grumble under her breath and when you weren't looking would steal the paperwork Tommy gave you to sort out so she could do it and claim you weren't.

Today was one of the days that Lizzie was being extremely bitchy, it was a Friday afternoon which meant Tommy wasn't in the office most of the day. He was either at a meeting or in the betting shop. This left you and Lizzie alone.

You had just gone into tommys office to put the paperwork Tommy needed on his desk when Lizzie walks in as well.

“ Tommy has a lot of whores, one for each month, which one are you?”she sits down at the round oak table, getting out a cigarette then lights it.

You turn around to look at Lizzie and frowns, not understanding the purpose of this conversation “ what Mr Shelby does in his personal life is none of my business”

“don't act dumb, you know what i'm talking about Y/N” Lizzie spits, venom lacing her voice.

“ i don't think we should be having this conversation when Mr Shelby isn't here, its not appropriate” you asserted, picking up another pile of paperwork, being to walk back to the double doors that leads out to you desk and Lizzie.

The sound of scuffing catches your attention, making you stop walking and look towards Lizzie once again “ get off your high horse Y/N, this is Birmingham everyone is a whore, they don’t have money to act like they are better then everyone” Lizzie barked, pointing a finger at you.

Your heart begins to race, the blood running through your veins begin to rush to your face, causing your cheeks to begin to heat up, it was like someone had turned up your internal thermostat to the maximum and now your face is a shade of red that would make a tomato jealous.

“ i'm sorry if i offended you in some way, i did not intend too” you apologise, you knew you hadn't said anything offensive but you didn't like confrontation and you wanted to avoid yelling in any possible way.

Lizzie takes a drag of her cigarette “ you are so insufferable, i dont know how your family deals with you” she chuckles under her breath.

At the mention of your family, you take a shakey breath and turn away from lizzie “ i need to start this paperwork” . As soon as you sit back at your desk, you began to look through the paperwork but you couldn't concentrate. what Lizzie said to you runs laps in your head, making your chin begin to quiver as your eyes begin to fill with tears.

Unfortunately, at the same time polly walks through the main doors into the building, she walks over to you. Wiping under your eyes quickly,putting a smile on your face.

“ hello Polly, what can i do for you?” you ask softly, your voice breaking slightly as you try to hold in your emotions.

Polly raises an eyebrow and places her purse down on your desk, watching as Lizzie walks out of tommys office with a smirk on her face but as soon as she sees Polly, she quickly covers it with a smile.

“whats happened?” Polly asks, suspicion filling her words, looking between Lizzie and you.

“ nothing pol, just talking business” Lizzie puts on a smile and looks towards you, her eyes widening for a second to tell you not to say anything.

“yes, just business” you agree, nodding slightly.

Polly hums “ if you say so, anyway is Tommy free in the afternoon this week” she asks.

You grab his schedule from your draw and begins to look through this weeks page he's free Wednesday afternoon from two o'clock onwards” you grab your pen “would you like me to write you in for a meeting with him”

Polly smiles and grabs her purse again “ yes, thank you Y/N, your a doll” she kisses your cheek softly then leaves.

The visit from Polly, helped you distract yourself from the situation with Lizzie, you smile happily as you begin to write down the information bout polly's meeting in tommys schedule. As you begin to write in the book, the ink tub falls onto the page causing you to gasp.

You look up and see Lizzie standing in front of your desk, smirking. she lights another cigarette “opps, i guess you'll have to tell Tommy you ruined his book” she tuts, shaking her head.

Once again, your pulse begins to race, your heart starts to beat so incredibly loudly, louder then gunshots. Your hands shake as you begin to try and pat the ink with her handkerchief but it wasn't working.

“no,no,no” your eyes begin to well up with tears for the second time, in less them an hour. You look up at Lizzie, disbelief in your eyes.

“ why would you do that, this has all of Tommy's schedules” you ask astonished.

“ you don't belong here, I've known Tommy before you even were in Birmingham, i should be sat in your chair. Everyday i have to see you prim and proper, giggling at Tommy” Lizzie rants angrily.

Unknownst, to both of them. Polly was still behind the door listening to the conversation. she knew something was wrong so she wanted to listen in case they were hiding something.

Polly leaves the office, determined to find Tommy to tell him what she heard between his secretaries. however, she couldn't find him.

It had been a few hours since the incident, you were quiet s you write a letter to Tommy, you have decided to leave your position of head secretary, you couldn't cope with the daily taunting from Lizzie.

The sound of the door opening and close catches both of the women's attention, you stand up immediately when you see Tommy.

“ Mr Shelby, i need to speak with you if that's alright” you ask softly as you walk around your desk, to stand beside Tommy.

Tommy nods and lights the cigarette that was resting between his lips “ come through to my office miss Y/N” he gently places his hand on the small of your back as you begin to walk to his office with him.

As the door to his office closes, you didn't notice Lizzie watching you. Her eyes like daggers.

“please sit” Tommy nods to the chair by his desk as he sits in his own chair, slowly blowing out the smoke from his mouth. You gulp and nod, sitting down slowly on the cold brown leather seat. the coldness helping to cool down your skin.

“ I've been thinking for the past couple of weeks, and i didn't want to do this but its the best thing for me” you explain, nervously fiddling with the letter in your hands. Your hand shake as you give Tommy the letter “ i'm giving in my notice as Secretary, i will be leaving this company after we finish this conversation”

Tommy frowns, taking the letter gently “ may i ask why” he raises an eyebrow, looking towards your direction. you end up making eye contact for the first time during this conversation.

You smile slightly, your eyes showing that you were distressed “ no reason, i just feel ready to move on”

The next day

Tommy had organised a company/ family meeting, he had some business to talk about. Lizzie had to sit in the meeting since you use to but now you had left your position, no one else can do it.

Tommy had ordered two peaky blinders to watch your flat, wanting you to be protected since people knew you were associated with them.

The meeting had started nearly half an hour ago, however Polly just noticed Lizzie sitting at the table. She frowns “ Thomas, where is Y/N?”

Tommy sighs and leans against the wall, taking out his cigarette holder then opens it “Y/N has decided to move on with her career and no longer work for me” he announces.

Polly raises an eyebrow, glancing at Lizzie, seeing her smirk slightly “ have something to say Lizzie?” her voice full of bitter.

Lizzie shakes her head, no saying anything. Tommy nods and lights his cigarette “ Lizzie, by tomorrow afternoon i need an advert in the paper for a new head secretary” he explains.

Lizzie frowns “you're looking for someone else, i thought i would take that position” she admits.

Polly chuckles and shakes her head “ is that why you forced Y/N to leave? or is it because you want to fuck Thomas?” she quizzes.

Lizzie blushes slightly as Tommy raises an eyebrow and looks towards her.

“is that right Lizzie?” he asks, his eyes turning cold.

“ it wasn't fair Thomas, she came in and you gave her the job straight away without even knowing her” she snaps, putting down her pen. The room went quiet after lizzies confession.

“you were jealous of her so you made her feel bad about herself so much that she left her job? ey? are you fucking proud of yourself” his voice begins to rise as he speaks.

“it wasn't-” Lizzie begins to defend herself when Tommy interrupts her.

“ By the end of today, i want your desk cleared and you stuff gone, you're fired” he points to the door as he speaks, Polly smirking as she watches Lizzie stand up and rush out of the door. As soon as Lizzie left, a blinder rushes into the room.

“Tommy, shes leaving. we followed her to the train station. shes got bags and her sisters are with her as well” he states, catching his breath.

Tommy immediately grabs his coat and cap, rushing out of the betting shop.

At the train station

The sound of people yelling and rushing to and from trains fills your ears as you carry your bags, your sisters infront of her, walking towards the platform where your train back to London would arrive. The clunking and screeching of train engines makes you flinch slightly, you never get use to that sound.

Your train was due for another hour but you wanted to have enough time for your sisters to say goodbye to their friends before you went to the train station.

As you sat on the bench with your sisters, you didn’t hear Tommy calling your name since the platform was extremely loud. However, in the corner of your eye you see him walking over.

“ girls, stay here” you instruct, standing up.

You walk over to Tommy, looking up at him as you both stand infront of each other. However, you didn’t have time to say anything before Tommy kisses you. You didn’t know what to do at first but after a few seconds you felt your shoulders relax as you ease into the kiss.

Time slows, your lips felt like they were made to connect with each other. The feeling of Tommys hand on your cheek causes goosebumps to arrise on your skin. You had wanted his mouth on your for months, but now it’s happening, you want to savour the moment.

Your lips part softly, chasing tommys as he pulls away “ what was that for?” You whisper, biting your lip ever so softly.

“ I should have done it awhile ago” he whispers, stroking your cheek bone gently “ come back, I know what happened, lizzies gone” he explains, looking into his eyes. His pupils blown.

You smile, chuckling under your breath “ okay” you whisper, putting your hand over his.

Tommy brushes his pad of his thumb over your bottom lip. A silent harmony parts your lips as a soundless breath leaves your mouth. Your eye lids slide shut as Tommy leans in, brushing his lips across yours, feeling the coldness of his skin, like snowflakes trundling down from the sky. The soft pillow of your mouth gives Tommy the pressure that he longed for.

This is the light at the end of the tunnel, and you’re so glad you survived.

A/N: hey guys, I don’t really like this one. It feels rushed and it’s unedited so there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. Please do like and comment, I appreciate all of your support ❤️

[kylorensl]

Every day, Kylo has to leave at lunchtime. Mitaka, his personal assistant, cannot find out, althoug has tried in every way, what do these outputs mean, and what intrigues the young assistant most is seeing his grumpy boss come back from lunch with a bouquet of cherry blossoms. Mitaka has lost count of how many has taken home, or given to some of the staff. Why the hell does taciturn Kylo Ren need to bring flowers every day? Then he has one more idea and says to himself, that it will be the last try, and promises to leave this obsession. "Sir, may I ask you a question?" Mitaka ventures visibly tense, under the scrutiny of Kylo who hesitates a bit before answering. "Be quick, I can't be late." Kylo waits, growing impatient, as Mitaka swallows. "Yes sir, please, I would like to know where you buy these flowers, so that I can buy some." Mitaka is shaking inside because he was never so bold but, his efforts are rewarded when sees his boss, the mighty Kylo Ren, look away, blushing like a teenager. So he knows got him. "Huh... Yes... Of course... I... I'll tell you where it is." Kylo doesn't even look at Mitaka as reaches into his wallet, pulling out a card and handing it to his assistant. "Thank you sir." Mitaka holds back from laughing, when sees that big and feared man, fleeing his scrutiny, as the game flees from the hunter. The next day, he changes his lunch schedule and goes to that flower shop. The array of flowers is beautiful and he almost forgets why he's here when sees Kylo walk in. Mitaka hides and is perplexed to see his boss smile... Yes... Kylo is smiling. But then he sees why, when the gorgeous redhead emerges from inside the shop, bearing the well-known bouquet. The man is of a distinct beauty, and though both try to hide it, Mitaka catches it quickly, that unmistakable exchange of glances. There's also that subtle touch when the redhead hands Kylo the flowers, and both blush, smiling when the purchase is complete. Now all makes sense... However, the young assistant, can no longer bear to see so many bouquets being wasted and, suspects that his idiot boss, he has yet to make any attempt to invite the florist to dinner. That is inadmissible. Mitaka feels he has to do something and... It was with this thought that the next day, when Kylo leaves the flower shop, Mitaka runs to the place and luckily, he still manages to reach the redhead. "Could you please bring me a bouquet similar to the one my boss just brought?" Mitaka takes a chance and sees the redhead's subtle interest. "Yes of course. They're my favorite." The redhead comments while arranging the bouquet. 'Of course that would be' Mitaka almost rolls his eyes when the man in front of him starts talking again, failing to hide his interest. "So, Kylo is your boss... Do you... Do you know who the flowers he brings every day are? He... Is there anyone?" The redhead finally looks at Mitaka who suppresses a sigh. "No... He doesn't have anyone." Mitaka notices how subtly pleased the man is. "In fact, he is very shy and, I think he is interested in someone, but doesn't have the courage to talk..." Mitaka hints, watching the redhead work. "Serious? So that person needs to do something about it." The redhead squints and Mitaka knows he's got him too. "For sure. By the way, my name is Mitaka." He extends a hand with a First Order card, which has Kylo's number highlighted. "In case you need a good lawyer." The redhead takes the card and blushes. "Thank you Mitaka it's nice to meet you, my name is Hux." Finally with his goal achieved, the young assistant awaits the scenes of the next chapters, hoping his boss doesn't throttle him for giving out his personal number... 'Accidentally'. A few weeks later, Mitaka is called into Kylo's office, to organize new data from a process and, he is not prepared, when he enters and finds his boss, having afternoon coffee, together with a certain red-haired florist... But on the table, this time, there is a sunflower vase.

@symphonyofthieves 🖤🧡✨🌌

[fangirlstorycreator]

Terry CK X Reader

Context: You find Terry passed out! 😟💚

You had been out shopping with your friend for the afternoon, Terry was just relaxing at home. You asked him before you left if he wanted to come with you, but he said he was feeling tired and politely declined. You gave him a kiss goodbye and spent a few hours buying clothes and hanging out with your friend. When it was time to head back home, you were given a lift by your friend and she dropped you outside yours and Terry's place. "See you soon Y/N" "You too" you say to her before she pulls out of the drive way and makes her way home.

You had your keys in your fingers as your clothes bags were hanging onto your arm, it was a little tricky getting the door open. But when you did, you let out a sigh of relief and pushed the door open. You let yourself in and close the door behind you "Terry, I'm home babe.....babe?" There was no response as you enter through the house. Felling a little concerned, you put the bags down and make your way into the living room. But that's when you see Terry lying on the floor. "Terry!" You run over to him and gently move him onto his back as you look for any injuries. "Terry? Babe can you hear me? Please speak to me" Still there was no answer.

Luckily you were a trained firstaider and knew what to do, but you were still worried about him. You gently patted his shoulders "Can you speak to me Terry?" No response. You check to see if he is breathing, thankfully he is. So your careful as you place his hand under his head, lift his leg and gently pull him towards you as you manoeuvre him into the recovery position. His airway was now supported and he was safe, that's when you call an ambulance. "Hello? I need an ambulance please, it's my boyfriend, I came home and he was passed out in the floor, please hurry" Once the ambulance got the address details, they were on there way to you and Terry. As you waited, you never left Terry's side, gently resting your hand against his cheek as a tear fell down your face.

They had arrived and helped him onto a stretcher, then they took you and Terry to the hospital. When you arrived, the hospital staff said that you had to stay in the waiting room until they had helped Terry. You understood and stayed were you were, as you see Terry's unconscious body being taken down the hall. You waited....and waited....it felt like they had been with him for hours, and yet when you look up at the clock, it's only been 1 hour. You couldn't sit down, you just paced back and forth in the waiting room, unable to stop thinking about Terry and worrying about what was wrong. A few minutes later, a doctor walked into the waiting room and approached you. "Miss L/N?" "Yes, yes that's me. Is he alright? Please tell me he's alright?"

"Dont worry miss L/N, he is going to be fine" You feel like an elephant has just taken its foot off your chest, and you take a breath, only just realising that you were holding it in. "Miss L/N, we have done tests on mr Silver, and we know why he fainted" "What was it?" "It appears that Mr Silver has an iron deficiency. Has he been feeling more tired recently? Or has there been any changes to his diet?" "Now that you mention it, he was feeling really tired today. Hes been like it for about a week, and hes been so busy at work recently that we dont eat dinner a lot together. He finishes so late and he says that he will make himself something" "He needs to consume more iron in his diet, this fainting spell is not a good sign. He needs to get back onto a normal work schedule and back to healthy and consistent diet"

"I will tell him that, thank you so much for helping him doctor. Is he awake? Can I see him?" "He is asleep at the moment, but your more than welcome to sit with him" The doctor leads you down the hall and into Terry's private hospital room. You see him there lead in his bed, he looks so peaceful, and it's a relief to see that he has some colour in his face again. "He should be waking up soon, I will be back when he is and I shall inform him on what hes going to have to do once he's discharged" "Thank you doctor" He leaves as you take a seat at Terry's bedside. Your relived that hes ok and it's nothing serious....but you were still feeling the mixture of emotions you were feeling earlier. You were so frightened when you saw him lying on the floor, you thought you were going to loose him.

You reach out and hold his hand as he laid still, you begin to cry quietly as you look at him sleeping. You couldn't help it, you loved him so much and you had never seen Terry look so helpless and vulnerable. "Sweetheart?" Terry says in a croaky voice as his eyes start opening. "Terry! Oh babe I was so worried about you" "Where am I? And-why are you crying? What happened?" He asks as his fingers brush against your cheek, wiping away a few of your tears. "Terry i came home and I saw you passed out on the floor, i was so scared for you. I called the ambulance and that's why your in hospital" He takes in the room as he looks around. "But? I dont remember? Why did I?...."

"The doctor said that you have an iron deficiency. You haven't been eating properly recently babe, you haven't been looking after yourself, it's been work work work" "John needed me and-" "I dont care what John needs Terry. Working your ass off for John has put you in the hospital and I'm not going to allow that to happen again. I was so scared when I saw you like that, and I will not let the man I love suffer like that again" You say all this to him as tears are still running down your face, and Terry's heart breaks at the sight of you. "Y/N I'm so sorry, I didnt mean to scare you, I love you" "I love you too" He rests his hand against your face and he pulls you in for a loving kiss. "I wont scare you like that again sweetheart, I promise" "I know you wont babe, because your going to do what the doctor tells you, and I'm going to have a word with john"

Terry raises his eyebrow in concern "Umm sweetheart, I'm not sure hes-" "Terry, you are lying in a hospital bed, this has to stop. I'm going to talk to John and weather he likes it or not, he is not going to over work you like this anymore. Not allowing you to even have a blenced diet or time to breath is unacceptable, and hes going to understand that. And if he disagrees with me, hes just going to have to go though me, and he knows he cant take me" Seeing your protective side is really cheering Terry up, and he smiles warmly as he holds your hand. "How did I ever get so lucky to have a girlfriend like you?" "I guess your just a very lucky man" You both smile before sharing another sweet and tender kiss.

[clairefoyanttt]

Chapter One

I filed for short term disability for burnout about two weeks ago. I'm still waiting for final approval from the leave group, but I'm reasonably certain it will be.

Step one was ensuring it was an option with my company. I reached out to HR, who is required to keep these conversations and inquiries confidential, and they confirmed it was an option but would need a doctor to say it was medically necessary.

Step two was getting my doctor on board. She grilled me, hard, because saying this is medically necessary when it isn't is fraud and if I was trying to pull a fast one, it's her ass on the line. She was, understandably, concerned as my previous anxiety self test had looked like an improvement and the one I took the day of our disability discussion was a drastic change for the worse. I think she probably thought there was a chance I was artificially nudging my scores. However, the day of my last appointment with her, I had an interview scheduled for that afternoon for a company that I thought was going to be a great change for me. They offered me great pay, the recruiters swore they were a family-friendly company, that they would be accommodating to my kids schedule, and it was closer to home. What actually happened was learning that the job was going to be significantly longer hours, zero opportunity for remote work, and a significant drop in paid time off. So yeah, I had been really hopeful in her last appointment, and still scored fairly high on anxiety but not as bad as I did the day I walked in there realizing that I either had to figure out a way to make things work with my current job, or I was going to be unemployed.

In fact, that's what I told her. I said that one way or another I was not going to be working as of February 23rd, either because I was on disability leave, or because I quit. I think that was when she realized that this was legitimate.

I also agreed to up my therapy sessions to weekly as opposed to the current bi-weekly schedule, I shared with her the steps I had taken to mitigate my depression and anxiety (gratitude journaling, meditation, taking walks in nature, eating better, exercising more, spending less time on my phone, socializing more frequently, sleeping better, etc) and assured her that I'd seen improvements at home, but work was still a disaster.

After our appointment, she and my therapist worked together, and the result is that my doctor has approved the request and believes it is medically necessary.

Yesterday I had my last day in the office, and my last day of work. I also had my annual review with my new-ish boss. The conversation was wonderful, if a bit uncomfortable, and I am genuinely excited about the goals we have set for this year and the projects I'll get to work on upon my return. That being said, it was hands down the worst annual review of my life. Inconsistently met goals, failed to meet goals, standards not set, it was a disaster. Luckily I fully expected it to be a disaster, so it wasn't a surprise and I didn't get upset.

You see, 10 years ago this year I joined the Army. Less than a year later, I was set to run my final PT test on a knee I had injured 6 months prior. I passed my push-ups, I passed my sit-ups, and all I had to do was pass a two mile run. Within a half mile, I knew my knee wasn't going to make it. Around the 3/4 mile mark, my knee gave out and I hit the deck hard. It took a second to breathe, popped up on my feet, and sprinted. My knee gave out again, and I fell. Then I got up, sprinted, and fell. I did this for about a half mile. I wanted everyone who saw me to know that I pushed myself. That I was strong. That I was determined. I thought that made me a worthy person. I failed my test that day, but it wasn't my fault. My knee just couldn't keep up.

Unfortunately, pushing through that pain also gave me lifelong knee problems. I am currently in physical therapy once again due to meniscal fraying because my knee was already weakend and unstable from my decade old injury and exacerbated by pregnancy, and carrying a child who now weighs 26 and a half pounds. I might have made a good impression on the people who saw me running that early morning in Arizona, but in my desire to be seen as someone who wasn't a quitter, I gave myself a lifelong injury.

This time, I failed again, and it still isn't my fault. My mental health is fractured after years of frequent change, the stress of COVID, the stress of being a full-time working mother, the stress of having an injured spouse, the stress of having no family nearby to chip in when things get tough, the stress of difficult bosses, the stress of living with a traumatic brain injury, the stress of ADHD exacerbated by TBI and mom brain... However, I can take ownership of my mental health and work to improve it so that I don't fail again in the future.

And that's my plan. During the coming weeks, I will try to rest a lot. I will try to stop beating myself up based on perceived expectations. The only opinions that matter to me, in order, are mine, my son's, my husband's, my dog's, and my boss's (and that's a distant fourth during this recovery time).

So, I will be a potato. I will sleep. I will binge comfort shows and video games. I will take long walks with my dog and have dinner with my family. I will play with my kiddo and spend tech free time outside. I will remove the things in my house that stress me, and show off the things that bring me joy. I will find rhythms for personal and home upkeep that I can maintain when I go back to work. I will go back to my creative roots and be happy creating things again.

I woke up this morning with my jaw clenched and my back on fire. For now, my goal is to wake-up rested instead of stressed. And that's enough for now.

[conceptsformyowner]

PTJ9: Pet for a day, and being immobilized tortured and photographed.

Public Toy Journal 9 - 2022 08 14

This week, we started Pain Training, we applied some of Merciless Chance, did some pet play, I got very sadistically immobilized tortured and photographed, and then had my brain broken at my birthday party. This is an eventful one!

Monday

On Monday, my Owner started applying the Pain Training. Every night before clocking in, we will follow that schedule, increasing the number of spankings and changing the implements towards more painful ones throughout the following months.

We began this week with just 5 spanks with their hand, on each buttcheek.

I’ve done very little impact play, and am quite sensitive, so I can feel them even if it’s just that. For now I’m doing perfectly alright. A couple times we forgot to do it and compensated by doubling it the following night, which was a bit more intense.

I’m really happy to be doing this for a couple reasons.

I’m happy to be trained to be their toy and adjust to whatever they want, and this does exactly that by allowing them to inflict pain on me.

I’m happy to have it as a small nightly ritual. It’s an amazing reminder of what the dynamic is, it gives us an excuse to have a tiny session at the end of the day, even when the day was too busy for us to do anything else. It let’s us connect through our dynamic, through the pain of the stings and the kindness of the caressing and the massaging inbetween them.

I love it.

Tuesday afternoon

On Tuesday, following our current established routine, the time of the day came when I had nothing to do. As agreed upon, my Owner took out the dice and the spreadsheet, and proceded to allow chance to dictate what my fate would be for the rest of the day, like in Merciless Chance.

The dice landed on 61. They entered ‘61’ into the spreadsheet I’d made that assigns number ranges to different predicaments according to odds determined and editable by my Owner, and saw the result come up.

Pet

Toy must be gagged.

Toy must have mittens locked on.

Toy must be at it’s Owner’s feet and/or chained to a fixed point.

Toy must not stand up (or be able to stand up, maybe).

Toy must only walk on all fours.

Toy may not use furniture meant for humans.

Toy must not speak, sign, or gesture like a human. Exception may apply if it’s to ask permission to do one of the things forbidden here, like using the toilet (furniture).

Half excited and half scared, I was immediately made to get down on the floor and crawl on all fours towards Owner’s bedroom. I was instructed to place the tape, the mittens, chain, locks, keys, and links on the bed and then stay kneeling next to it. Once I was done, my Owner placed mittens (my “real toy hands”) around my hands and locked them, and then carefully wrapped the lower half of my head in bondage tape, sealing my mouth shut compeletely.

They threw a blanket down towards me from the closet and threaded my everyday chain through my collar chain. I then crawled on all fours (which, btw, being naked on a dirty wooden floor in winter with very thin skin and my ankles linked together is painful) back towards the living room, pushing the small blanket as I could on the way.

I was then made to lie on top of the blanket, now spread out next to the couch and covering about half a square meter of floor with a thin but at least ever so slightly cushined and soft-ish dirty dark red cloth. My owner sat on the couch next to me and attached the chain to the feet of it, tightly enough to forbid me from standing or going really anywhere at all.

I was then kept there, securely chained on a small blanket on the floor, laying my head on and huddling up to my Owner’s feet.

After a while, they took their feet off the floor and lied down on the couch to watch a show. Sad about this, I tried sitting up and putting my head on the couch and against their legs. Luckily, I was caught and luckily allowed to continue to stay on that position.

Minutes passed (presumably; it was pretty hard to keep track of time even if I had actually been trying to, which I wasn’t) and my legs started hurting incresingly badly from keeping them folded beneath me to allow me to stay like that. When it got kinda bad, I tried getting on the couch, to communicate that I wanted to ask permission to.

I was allowed to!

I got on the couch after fumbling around a bit with the now-pulled-much-tighter-bc-i’m-further-away chain. I stayed like that for a long time, cuddled, gagged, collared, cuffed, chained, and mittened up. At one point my Owner caught me catching a glimpse of the computer screen while they watched a show on it, but no further repercussions were met so I assume they decided it was alright.

A couple hours and a half after we began the whole thing, they told me “Alright, off the couch. Good toy! Now, you’ll take off your tape gag. Yes, with the mittens still on.”

I stared confused and surprised. They they insisted “Come on, get to work. Otherwise I’m not releasing you until it’s absolutely necessary, tomorrow evenin. You’ll spend the whole night like this, I won’t give you a blanket and I’ll make the chain tighter so you stay off the couch. Understood?”

aodwuibuadibuif damn

fuck

That was extremely hot, I wanted that but not really. I wanted that in the sense that I’d give no resistance to the beginning but would be genuinely begging for forgiveness after enough time. Damn.

I obeyed and luckily it wasn’t as hard as I thought. Really many things have revealed themselves to be easier than we thought with the mittens locked on, since I can still bend my finger and grab things like some kind of lego figure, because they’re large and for long-term, not those spherical or really small tight ones where the hand inside is kept in a fist.

I loved the whole thing, felt really helpless and cold and uncomfortable and theirs. Just their pet. And I adored not being able to speak, it takes away such power so effectively.

Tuesday night

Only about an hour later, my Owner caught me looking at a half-empty bottle of wine in the kitchen. After confirming that yeah, that’s wine I like, they immediately made me chug the remaining half-full bottle of red wine that was left.

Damn that was kind of hard, and immediately I got incredibly turned on and started kissing them non-stop.

Happy about making me a bit of a mess so easily and so quickly, they spent all diner making sure I drank lots of water, and a bunch of vodka until my belly started complaining.

Compeletely drunk and in their hands, I was helpless.

However, what happenned was that we actually spent the rest of the night simply…talking about our feelings and our dynamic. It was very nice. I’m happy about it.

Tuesday bedtime

That night, when chaining me up for sleeping, my Owner made the bondage extra tight, assuring I could barely move and was made to stay compeletely stretched out. They also attached my wrists directly to my collar chain, forcing my elbows to remain bent.

“If that gets too painful or you can’t sleep, you can unlink your wrists from your collar. You will get punished for it still of course. Good night toy.”

They kissed me and then turned around.

It was kind of tought but eventually I was able to fall asleep, only being able to basically wiggle around a bit.

At 4 a.m. I released my wrists from my collar because the pain had woken me up and was keeping me that way. Next day, I of course reported it and was due for a punishment later.

Thursday

On Thursday, you decided to do an item from Merciless Chance when it was time to, but you wanted to pick it today.

Sadistic Immobilization The toy will be kept by its Owner helplessly immobilized in tight tortuous painful uncomfortable and/or predicament bondage. The toy will signal when a limit is reached or a limb starts losing circulation so that the bondage may be changed but not removed. Suffering will end whenever Owner wishes or toy safewords.

Ah, yes, fuck, I’d been fearing this for a while. Very exciting.

They locked my mittens on me and tightened a collar around my neck as tight as they could. They pulled my hands above my head and then bending my elbows upwards locked them to the back of the collar.

Already quite uncomfortable and with no possibility of releasing myself, I whined at them when they took hold of my ankles and, making me lie on my belly on the bed, chained the already linked together anklecuffs also to the back of my collar. They pulled on the chain, narrowing the space between my feet and the back of my head until I had to bend my back a little in order to not choke myself with the collar. Once satisfied with it, they finished attaching the chain, and then lied down next to me.

I was compeletely immobilized, and in a very unfriendly way. My back, knees and elbows were bent by the pull of chains, which allowed for no give. My fingers were trapped in the faux-leather mittens, locked with padlocks to which only my Owner had keys, and even if I had the keys, with my wrists together behind my head I would never be able to unlock anything.

I suffered for a few minutes while switched between using their phone and watching me. At one point I believe they simply got bored, so they asked “Where are the clothespins?”

“Uh on the drawer I think, if not, they should be on my backpack.”

They checked the drawer, and then left me there with the door closed and the light off while they searched for my backpack.

They came back and said “They’re not there.”

“Um…I…they should.”

“Yes, they should.” they dictated, such that I would understand how this was a failure in my duties.

“I’m sorry.” I whined, knowing that this wouldn’t go unpunished and feeling how my body started aching all over, specially my shoulders.

They shut the door again and after a minute they came back holding a frightening amount of clothespins. Fuck.

They laid down next to my stretched and whining body, and staring right into my eyes, ordered me to put my tongue out.

Scared, I stared back in fear but kept my tongue in and my mouth closed.

“Out, now.” They ordered, and gripped my jaw strongly in their hand.

I obeyed and slowly put out my tongue. They smiled and carefully started placing the clothespins.

“This one is for not opening right away.” They placed one to the side of the back of my tongue, leaving plenty of room for more.

“This one is for not keeping the clothespins stored properly.” They closed another one next to it.

I’d forgotten a bit how bad it was, to force my mouth open like this and to press on my tongue this exhasperatingly.

“This one is for tuesday night: you released yourself, which was allowed, but this is the price.” They let go of a third one, now near the tip, leaving a whole other half of the tongue free.

“This one is because you’re mine. You’re my toy and I do whatever I want with you.” They placed a fourth one, and then grabbed two more. “These…are just for fun.”

Six clothespins now holding my tongue tortured and out, keeping my mouth opened lest I make matters worse by pressing on the clothespins with my teeth, they watched me whine and breathe. They watched their bound up toy suffer for them. My Owner showed me their love in the way only a sadist who entrusts you compeletely can show love.

I struggled to keep my head pointing up, which, if I haven’t yet confused you too much with the description you might realize was quite hard. Luckily they did provide a pillow behind my head to help me, since they really didn’t want me drooling on their bedsheets.

After placing two extra clothespins on my top lip, just for fun, they checked if I was okay with them taking pictures and they spent some time positioning me and photographing my tortured mouth, playing with the light and the framing.

They tried to photograph my whole body but said they weren’t really satisfied with how it looked.

The pictures looked so special, like they captured the beauty of this suffering, this affection, this powerlessness and complete submission to them, this ownership. I got emotional from looking at them, when they showed them to me just after taking them, without changing anything about my predicament.

They recorded my predicament, which was now making me consistently whine in pain from my elbows and my mouth, and sent the video to @musingsformyowner, to cheer them up I think. I love that.

Not long after that, they dettached a wrist from my collar since it was on the verge of starting to lose circulation. Unbending my elbow was painful as fuck, I was made to stretch it and bend it a few times to make sure everything was alright and to regain muscle activity and make blood flow, before attaching it to the chain pulling my feet and neck back.

Didn’t take long to do the same thing with my other arm, and then it was time to release my mouth from its plastic and wire torture device.

Putting on clothespins can be pretty bad, keeping them for a while can be torture, and if it’s been a while, taking them off can sometimes be the worst part. So when they took the…8 clothespins? off of me one by one, it was a series of pain stings that struck my tongue and top lip making me cry out, making them smile.

After making sure I was alright, they had to go prepare dinner. As they were leaving, I started trying to get off the bed. Bear in mind, my feet were still very closely attached to my neck, bending my back a bit. But now that my wrists were free (even though my finger weren’t), I started trying to shift and wriggle my way down out of the bed and then trying to follow them.

And I succeded!

This was possible because I was able to turn my feet towards my front, making me able to bend forwards instead of backwards. I’d been using this to relieve my back and stretch and move different parts of my body for the last hour or so, so I had already gotten the knack of it.

I got off, and then I was able to…”””walk””” towards the kitchen following right behind them. What this really looked like was that I had my knees on my chest, my head low, and was using my mittened hands to swing myself forward by putting them down at the same time, lifting my whole body and swinging it forward while pushing back with my arms, and then landing my feet and raising my mittens off the ground to start again.

This basically looked like a small egg trying to move itself forwards with two arms. They found it absolutely hilarious and I started saying I was a gENDER GREMLIN and that I was going to eat all their genders.

Yes this is the cute part of the story I’m sorry if you were horny.

My Owner filmed me walking like that and sent it to @musingsformyowner to cheer them up. It was a success.

Eventually my chain was dettached from my ankles and to the bedpost, and I ate some vegan cheddar-ed noodles using my face, since my hands were trapped in the mittens.

Then they took off my mittens to allow me to write that day’s concept and we went to sleep.

I was not reliefed of the collar or the chain attaching me to the bedpost.

Saturday

On Saturday, I was to have the final part of my birthday: the Party! This was an actually quite vanilla setting, since not all my friends are from the BDSM community (though the percentage is getting higher every day), but most people still looked pretty gay* so I think you’ll forgive me.

** that is to say, looked such that they might be hatecrimed as a lesbo or a queer*

My Owner supported me a lot while I organized it and helped a lot with my anxiety, which I’m very grateful for. Then at the actual party, they brought out two wine bottles exclusively for me, and made me fill up the largest glass up to the brim with red wine.

They would tell me I needed to finish the glass by a certain time, and if I hadn’t, I’d have to chug the remaining of it. After that, I’d refill the glass and get a new expiration time. Damn.

It didn’t seem that bad at first, but damn was I wrong. The times kept getting shorter and shorter and by the time I finished the bottle my stomach started seeming unhappy with the ordeal, which luckily made my Owner order me to stop.

Alongside it of course I had to constantly drink water, so the next day I’d still be useful and not a hangovered mess of a toy.

*** warning: small tangent about bondage and restraints and control and intox play ahead ***

I was very drunk, incredibly dizzy, and everyone seemed to be amused with it which is nice. I find intox play incredibly hot. I’ve come to find that I usually find the abilty to control things in three levels:

Physically, which is to say I’m quite nibble and not at all particularly athletic but definitely energetic. I’ve done quite a lot of dancing and swimming, and have done a lot of physical acting.

Verbally, through talking my way through things (and out of/into things heh). I have a long history of literary studies and was raised surrounded by pretentious very heterocis books.

Mentally, which is actually simply how to use the other things to my advantage to get out of situations.

Which is to say, the ways to lose control are exactly those. I lose physical control with inescapable restraints so I can’t physically get out, then verbal control through gags so I can’t talk my way out, and then mental control so I can’t figure out anything else.

This is why intox play is so powerful for me. They’re in charge of my mind, can compeletely mold it and bend it and break it and turn it off at will. I’m theirs.

a n y w a y s, where were we? Yes, the party. Sorry my ADHD meds are wearing off.

*** tangent over ***

By the time @musingsformyowner got there, my brain was already quite messy.

I knew Mel (musings) had planned something out with my Owner, so I was quite intrigued. There had been a misunderstanding where I was blamed for stating something without my Owner’s ok, which is compeletely untrue but my Owner and Mel don’t seem to care >:| so they came to the party prepared to punish me for it. Or as they call it, to give me my little gift.

After they’d settled in and spent some time at the party, my Owner and Mel took me up to my bedroom. With my Owner’s very enthusiastic consent, Mel tied my hair with some rope and attached it to a high point…I think, and then I remember getting untied.

That’s the thing about alcohol, everything I’m saying is very fuzzy and missing bits.

I was starting to feel nauseaus so we stopped and rescheduled for Wednesday (as in, two days from now as of writing). They both then spent some time cuddling and I was told to stay at their feet, where I laid down and gave them leg mimitos. It was really nice.

Mel had brought as a gift for my birthday to my Owner (since I can’t have possessions of my own) a small soft paddle with three hearts on it.

Our first paddle!

And right on time for the Pain Training, it’s perfect and I love it. But most importantly, my Owner really loved it a lot and that makes me super happy.

I got very sad later when I realized I don’t have a single picture of the whole thing. Good to know for next time, but it also means I had a really nice time uwu.

Sunday

On Sunday I spent pretty much the whole waking day cleaning up after the party, with my Owner supporting me by my side. Afterwards we came back home; they allowed me to take a warm shower, massaged my legs and took great care of me.

I’ve never felt safer and more taken care of.

[khalixascorner]

Meant to Be Part 2

Day 4 of my 12 days of Christmas!

Summary: When Tony first met Peter, he was sure the kid would be an omega. The perfect omega for him rather. But when Peter presents as an alpha, Tony is willing to take drastic steps to correct the error. Luckily Peter is more than willing to go along with his plan. Somewhat tropey Omegaverse bitching fic written for @monster-cock69

Read on AO3 Part 1

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Tony Stark, Omega Peter Parker, Alpha Peter Parker, Dark Tony Stark, Tony bitches Peter into an omega, Mpreg, Breeding Kink, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Consent, Peter wants it, but Tony definitely eggs him on along the way, and then takes advantage of him in doing so, Mates, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Smut, So much smut

When Peter arrived at the compound Saturday afternoon, Tony had everything set up. He had soundproofed a room and stocked it with plenty of food and water and everything else they’d need to ride out the flash heat that bitching the boy would likely trigger. He had also built a breeding bench that should be strong enough to hold Peter if he struggled.

Tony had cleared his schedule and even pulled out some old projects for SI and Shield that had been easy to finish and would act as a smokescreen for what he was doing. Then he had scheduled for an unknown compound to also be ‘delivered’ towards the end of the week. It would be easy enough to fake a lab accident, call it freak thing that interacted with the Spider bite and Tony’s own alpha presence, and then no one would question it too closely that Peter had suddenly become an Omega and mated Tony Stark.

The only people smart enough to figure it out were on his payroll, missing, or fugitives. And even if people eventually found out, it wouldn’t matter. He had Peter’s own statements of consent lined up and buried on Friday’s servers. Add that to a long established bond that would destroy the omega to break, and Tony was satisfied that he had covered his bases.

Peter met him down in the lab, a ball of energy as always, though a hint anxious if his scent were anything to go by.

“Is everything alright, sir?” Peter asked, and Tony realized he had been frowning while lost in thought.

“Just fine, Peter-Pie, just fine,” Tony assured him. “Was just going over all of my precautions one last time. You ready to do this?”

“Ye-yeah, I’m ready, sir,” Peter said, though Tony could see the fear there too. He contemplated giving the boy one last chance to change his mind, but it’s not like he would listen anyway.

“The first bit is going to be the most uncomfortable, and by that, I mean it’s probably going to hurt as your body tries to reconfigure its genetics,” Tony said, grabbing a few syringes and pocketing them before waving at Peter to follow him. “Think spider bite all over again.”

Peter flinched at that, and Tony nodded. The kid had told him all about that nasty experience, and Tony intended to use it to his advantage.

“Yeah, I figured you’d feel that way, so Friday and I synthesized a drug to help you sleep through the worst of it,” Tony said. “Only if you want it, of course, it’s your body, kid.”

“No, yeah, please,” Peter hurried to say. “I, I don’t want to feel that again.”

“Alright, well, let’s get you changed and fed, and then we’ll get this started,” Tony said, guiding Peter to a prep room he had set up next to the breeding room. “Here, change into this, then hop up on the chair there. I know it looks like a dentist chair but I promise no drills.”

Peter huffed at the bad joke but Tony could see him relax a bit as well. Tony turned away from the boy to grab the food Friday had prepared while adding the first dose of the meds into the drink. It was tasteless, and given Peter’s fear of needles, this was the simplest way to knock him out.

“You decent, kid?” Tony called and Peter stuttered out a yes so Tony grabbed the tray and carried it over. “Eat as much as you can, and make sure you finish the drink. Hydration is important.”

Peter nodded and started eating even as Tony distracted him with small talk. Soon, the tray was cleared and Peter was laying back, staring at the ceiling in a drugged haze.

“You with me, Peter?” Tony asked, checking in. Friday was monitoring his vitals, but they only had one chance to do this right.

“Mmm, M’ St’k?”

“Yeah ok, kid, drugs are almost kicked in, so I’m going to start getting things ready,” Tony said, chuckling at the dopey smile Peter gave him.

He grabbed an IV line and got it inserted with minimal trouble, then hooked up the omega hormone cocktail they had prepared alone with Peter’s sedatives, a hydration bag, and a mix that would provide Peter’s body with the calories his metabolism needed while he couldn’t eat.

After that, he grabbed a specially designed cock cage, and replaced the one Peter had been wearing. Tony was pleased to see that the first one had kept the kid’s cock from getting too big but this new one would take it a step more. It would slowly compress down as Peter’s body underwent the changes, until his cock was more appropriately sized for an omega. Tony had contemplated letting him keep at least some of his cock size, but Peter was so dainty with a dancer’s body. He would look much sexier with a dainty cocklet too.

“Alright, Friday, let’s get him transferred over and go ahead and activate the Smokescreen Protocol,” Tony called, and two suits joined him in carefully moving Peter from the chair to the padded bench. Tony buckled him in, checking everything carefully and ensuring that his mate to be would be comfortable when he finally woke.

“Protocol is fully active, boss,” Friday said as the suits withdrew. “I have put Peter’s vitals on the primary screens and you’ll find the requested supplies prepped in the container to your left.”

“Good girl, let me know if his vitals spike into unacceptable ranges, otherwise monitor the incoming and outgoing communications for the compound and intercept as necessary,” Tony said, checking everything one last time before finally letting himself appreciate the feast in front of him.

The bench kept Peter’s ass elevated, presenting to the alpha behind him. His head was cradled by soft bands that left his neck exposed while his hands and legs were pinned down on equally soft but strong ledges built into the bench.

Tony felt his cock stiffen as he ran his hand along Peter’s back, the skin so smooth underneath his roughened hand.

“Soon, soon, you’ll be mine and no one will be able to take you away,” Tony promised.

With a shake of his head, he stepped away to find the lube. Bitching wasn’t something done often in modern society, but there were extensive records if you knew where to look. It used to be a way of ensuring there was only one heir in a line of succession, not that royal families would admit that.

Tony slicked his fingers, running them over Peter’s hole, pushing gently but not penetrating as he spread the lube.

“Come on, baby, open up for me,” Tony murmured as he continued the pseudo massage. It took a little patience but eventually, the muscle softened and his finger slid in.

Tony continued his gentle assault, taking his time as if Peter were awake to feel it. He knew his mate wouldn’t remember this but Tony still wanted their first time to be special. One finger became two, and then three. Time was immaterial as his senses focused in on his mate to be. Peter’s scent hadn’t settled, and the omega hormones he’d been taking for a few days had already softened the heavier alpha musk. He couldn’t wait to learn his mate’s proper smell, mated and pregnant if he had his way.

Finally, he had reached 4 fingers, and he deemed Peter loose enough for him.

“You’re doing so good for me, kid,” Tony said, dropping kisses along Peter’s back as he unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out. “Gonna make you a proper omega, just like you wanted now. Just gotta be a good little boy for me and take my knot until your body learns its place.”

Tony slicked himself quickly, and then pressed the head of his cock against Peter’s hole. It resisted at first, but he didn’t let up. Peter’s body tensed beneath him, the alpha instincts fighting what was coming, but Tony just ran his hands along Peter’s body soothingly as he breached the virgin ring of muscles.

Inch by inch, he pushed his cock into Peter’s body, moaning as it clenched around him.

“That’s it, baby, take your alpha,” Tony groaned as he finally bottomed out. He stilled, letting Peter’s body adjust as he peppered the younger man’s back with more kisses and nips. Tony slid a hand under Peter’s chest and started playing with his nipples, pinching and pulling until Peter’s body was twitching beneath him and the death grip on his cock had loosened. “There we go, sweetheart, knew you’d like that. Can’t wait till our pups are suckling your swollen tits while I fuck another into you. Gonna breed you until you’re cock silly all the time for me.”

As he spoke, Tony started thrusting into Peter, short thrusts lengthening into longer ones that shoved Peter’s body into the bench and the straps holding him down.

“That’s it, baby, gonna take it all, aren’t you,” Tony grunted. “Not gonna make it long this time, baby, been wanting you so much. Promise we’ll play more properly once you’re bitched into a proper omega though.”

Tony pounded into Peter, chasing his knot with abandon, all words and gentleness forgotten in the wet sounds of their coupling and the slapping of skin on skin. When his knot finally grew to full size, Peter tried to flail briefly beneath him but relaxed again as Tony soothed him with gentle touches and kisses.

When his knot finally went down, he pulled out and plugged Peter up with a special injector that Tony had created. It was filled with cum that he had been collecting for the last few days. Thanks to modern medicine, he had managed to store quite a bit to help speed this part along.

He took a short break to take samples and grab a snack for himself, checking in with Friday as he did. Once he was sure everything was good, he pulled a stool over to the front of the breeding bench, pulling his cock out again and grabbing a spider gag. It was quick work to get the gag in place and loosen the head straps enough to pull Peter down onto his cock.

“Alright, baby, Alpha’s gonna get some work done so you keep this warm and wet for me until then,” Tony said fondly, running a hand through Peter’s curls. He made sure Peter’s breathing was steady, then pulled up the next project on his list for the Smokescreen Protocol.

-----------------------------

Tony got lost in his work, taking care of two smaller projects before he noticed his cock was rock hard. His pants had a wet spot from Peter’s drool, and Tony groaned as he thought of how it would feel when this was slick instead of spit.

“Baby, look at you, I can’t- just gotta,” Tony murmured to himself as he grabbed Peter’s hair and pressed into him until he felt the tip of his cock breach Peter’s throat. “That’s it, baby, just a few times, I promise, but I have to, you feel so damn good.”

Tony pulled him off and then pushed him back down, gagging his little mate a few times before he finally pulled all the way back.

“Fuck, so good for me, baby,” Tony said, taking the gag off and kissing Peter deeply. Then he stood and moved to the back of the bench, yanking out the plug and thrusting in. He was so close that it took hardly any thrusts before he was knotting again.

Tony draped himself over Peter’s back, nibbling at his neck and searching for the gland that would enlarge as the omega hormones became more prevalent. When he softened, he pulled out and replaced the plug before getting himself cleaned up and into more comfortable clothes. Then he put the gag back in and pulled Peter onto his cock once more.

It took three more cycles before Friday finally registered the hormone levels they needed for the next part. Bitched omegas were often infertile due to a lack of internal reproductive structures, but a recent study had shown that inserting unpresented reproductive tissue coupled with an activator could correct this problem. Of course the original research was on natural born omegas who didn’t develop or had trauma, but the theory was the same as far as Tony was concerned.

Friday took control for this one, using a custom apparatus to take their modified cells and place them in the correct location. She had run numerous tests to ensure the cells would take and that they had accounted for the spider DNA, and the final result was a smug AI announcing that the procedure had gone perfectly on the first try. They kept sensors on Peter’s abdomen so Friday could monitor things just in case but they had used Peter’s own pre-presentation samples coupled with lab grown cells to create their artificial tissue.

“How’s everything looking, Fri?” Tony asked, trying to hold back but so turned on by the thought of stuffing his boy full and not just bitching him but breeding him too.

“Green across the board, boss, but I’d hold off another 30 before taking him again,” Friday reported. “We don’t want to risk your hormones triggering the tissue into going non-omega.”

Tony groaned but knew she was right, so he settled for choking Peter with his cock while he waited for Friday to give the all clear.

The knotting after they added the new cells seemed to be the tipping point, and Friday measured increasingly high levels of Omega hormones coupled with major physical changes. Tony disconnected the sedative and added a heat inducer that doubled as an aphrodisiac, wanting to hear his omega moaning for him as he bitched him the rest of the way.

[never-not-ever]

I feel so stressed out and drained. I was deeply regretting picking up this shift this morning but I really need the money. I thought I was going to just do my 5 doubles in a 2 week period but week that had the 3 of them would be automatic overtime so I had to switch my schedule back to the 2 doubles and an evening each week. So I’m only coming to work 3 days a week which isn’t bad but I NEED to pick up 2 extra shifts a week.

But today I really could have used this day off cause I’m on a double tomorrow and I’m off Saturday but I’m taking my car for an oil change in the morning… but I also need to get a new inspection sticker cause it expired yesterday and the fuckers sure enough have out tickets at 1:30am. Luckily I didn’t get a second ticket this morning but I feel like they might keep giving them out.. and I don’t know if I can get an approved inspection sticker if my oil is low. So I might have to wait til after Saturday morning.

I’ve been in desperate need of laundry and think I might be able to do some today. I was going to try to get the inspection sticker after work today but might just say fuck it and wait til after my oil change so I don’t waste my time.

I’m working til 3 today and need to rush home and try to beat traffic cause I have therapy at 4. Depending on what time I get home and how cold it is outside I might try to go to the beach and do it in my car. But the connection just sucks hooking up to my phone wifi. Last week I just stayed home and she was sleeping so I didn’t mind talking in the bedroom but this afternoon I don’t know…. Although things seem to be chill between us. Just a waiting game now of both finding apartments. So honestly therapy might be less talking about her and more so other shit so maybe I’ll just stay home and do it in the bedroom. Then take a nice nap….

Okay sounds like a better plan and that nap will be something to look forward to since I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night cause I worked til 11:30.

I hope this shift flies by. I’m doing the 1:1 and right now they’re with a nurse hence me on my phone typing out this pointless boring rant 🙃 but day shifts are more busy and seem to go by faster. They have school in like an hour so they’ll be occupied with their tech for a bit. Probably will meet with their team before that. Then they’ll be with a nurse after lunch and then just a little bit of down time to kill before I leave at 3. Maybe they’ll go to a group….

And it’s raining today. I love this weather. Don’t like to drive in it but seeing it out the window is nice and calms me and puts me in a better mood. I feel so annoyed and bitter today. Hope I don’t come across as quiet and bitchy…

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (290): Sat 31st Dec 2022

My final workday of 2022. We were told at the start of the shift that although we were scheduled to finish at 4 today there was a possibility that we would be allowed to finish even earlier. I thought that they meant we would get to finish an hour earlier than planned bur at 12:50 we got a message through on our screens telling us we were finishing at 1 which was fucking awesome and music to my ears. I genuinely thought that I’d never have a job that I’d look forward to. I thought that a job like this was, like a good Jennifer Aniston film that isn’t Office Space, non-existent. Luckily this job has changed all that. Don’t get me wrong there are some days where I wake up after not having had enough sleep (due to staying up later in order to pack more stuff in after not getting back in from work until six) and bemoan having to return to work already but for the most part I’m happy to go to work for a hard days graft because I know the company pays handsomely in addition to rewarding those who work their arses off.

Since I now had the rest of the afternoon on free I decided to pop over to the town and pay the remaining balance for my holiday to LA. The moment I pressed the enter button on the travel agent’s card machine felt so good because now I know it’s definitely happening: I’m going to WrestleMania (well I shouldn’t say “definitely” since the plane could still crash or the stadium could still fall into a giant sinkhole but on paper I am going to WrestleMania and the Lakers game).

2022 has been a VERY mixed bag for me. For the first six months I went through serious mental fatigue thanks to the fact that for some reason that I can’t quite put my finger on I decided to accept a job in the fraud department with TSB. For someone who hates having to talk to people this was perhaps the worst possible career move imaginable. It didn’t help that the people responsible for training me and giving me guidance were fucking useless. I suffered multiple anxiety attacks and I would wake up dreading having to go to work because I knew by the time I got home my head would be in even worse shape. Luckily a few months after starting this job I decided on a whim to apply for a job at a factory and within one week I had started there and I’ve never looked back. Although this job is exhausting it’s still a major improvement on where I was before plus the money is good and critically: I don’t have to talk to any fucking customers. Other highlights from 2022 were starting therapy, taking surfing lessons, Edinburgh, Italy, and finally visiting Portmeirion. Therapy was great as it enabled me to finally get a few things off my chest without having to bite my tongue and worry about upsetting people. Surfing was great although o didn’t have as many lessons as o would like to have had. As soon as it gets warm next year I’m going to be down the beach at every opportunity to get better. Shinsuke Nakamura says that he never took surfing lessons but rather just learned through trial and error and is now a really skilled boarder. As tempting as it is to practice on my own I enjoyed the social aspect of surfing as the instructor and the people I was sharing the lessons with were nice guys so I think I’ll just carry on with the lessons. Edinburgh was fantastic as always but next time I don’t think I’ll buy tickets for so many shows as having to rush off from one to catch the start of another was exhausting at times. Visiting Italy for our first family holiday in four years was a tremendous experience. I enjoyed getting to chill by the pool in the baking sun plus having a guided tour around Pompeii was a great way to spend my break away from that hellacious call centre. I have high hopes for 2023 in fact I’ve already got three items penciled in to cross off my bucket list. I’ve always wanted to visit California…well actually I already have visited California but it was at the end of my Route 66 journey and I was knackered by then so I couldn’t really enjoy it. This time around it will be nice to experience to whole city of Los Angeles plus hopefully surf in Venice Beach. As soon as I get the cheque that HMRC have been promising me for half a year I’m going to book my tickets to see the Lakers play against the Clippers in what will hopefully be a superfluous game as by the time April comes around they will have already qualified for the playoffs. Finally in April the boyhood dream will come true as I will at long last attend WrestleMania. For someone who has been a wrestling fan since 1998 going to a WrestleMania has been the holy grail of wrestling fandom. I was planning on paying to go to the 2020 event and thank fuck I didn’t because that was the year the world shit down. But everything looks good to go this time around and rumours of a Rock vs Roman main event make me even more excited for my first (and perhaps only) WrestleMania. In addition to the surfing lessons I also want to finally finish my Edgar Award winning novel challenge as I’ve been at it for years now and frankly the fact that I didn’t finish it ages ago is embarrassing. I also want to get all of the travel based items on my bucket list out of the way so that I can concentrate on getting my own house / flat which will be incredibly expensive but now that I have a well paying job it should be doable. Bon voyage 2022, not a bad old year.  

[emmarachelharding]

Sunday 13th November

It's been a busy week again, it never seems to be calm ha! We have been organizing the flat in preparation for my mum's visit this coming Wednesday so we needed to clean stuff and wash and get her bed cleaned and ready. We also went out during the week to check bus routes so that I know how to get to some places as there will be a few days when it's just mum me and the baby.

I'm really hoping the weather will be fine and dry as for now it's forecasting rain! I'm sure it will change though as the forecasting here is very unreliable, it must for some reason be harder to predict what will happen in the atmosphere.

We saw my partner's mum and grandpa on Friday afternoon, they will come every Friday afternoon now as it works out well with my husband's work schedule. He will pick them up on his way back from work. This week they helped to disassemble the old cot that was in the flat when we arrived and we were finally able to put together the cot that was gifted by a family friend. It was a bit stressful and there were some tense moments between my husband and his mother in law but luckily it was completed successfully.

The transition seems to have been ok for my baby but he did wake up and cry at 230 in the morning the first night which is highly unusual for him. I hope it's just where he needs to get used to the new cot and that it will pass quickly as he has been sleeping really well now for almost 2 months.

On Saturday we were out for the birthday of one of my husband's friend's wives. We went out for a meal at a restaurant in downtown Haifa, Douzan. It was pretty and the atmosphere was nice but it was really expensive and the food was just average. To give you an idea my husband had steak which coat around £37 and I had sea bream which was around £30. These are prices I would expect to pay in London but not here! A bit disappointing.

Today we met up with the lady who invited us to her Halloween party at her house. It was just us and our bubbas. Her baby was born around 3 months after mine so they are quite interested in each other. We went for coffee and walked around one of the big shopping centres in Haifa. So lovely to see her again and chat, she seems really down to earth and kind.

It was also the first time I took the bus alone with a pushchair. I was honestly quite nervous, mostly as I knew I'd need help getting on and off the bus and I can't speak Hebrew. This turned out fine, people are usually happy to help and most people here speak or at least understand English. Also there is a very hand app Moovit which has info in English too and tells you which number bus routes to take and provides you with guided instructions on which stops to go to and get off at. One of the other English speaking girls I met recommended it to me thankfully!

[tamakittykami]

What Day is it Again?

All my days have been blending together into one big, long, endless cycle. Mostly the day-in and day-out of get up, get dressed, coffee,

kid's summer homework, kids chores, pack a lunch, go to work, feel unproductive for close to eight hours, and go home. That is my general schedule from when I wake up at 5:30 until home time at 4:30, Monday through Thursday (Sunday is similar, except I get to go home from work after only 6 hours of feeling like I'm throwing my life in the compactor).

After work, the daily routine is a bit different, depending on the day. Regardless, it is still full of hurry-up and rush, no matter what day it is. Monday is the only really laid-back night. As soon as I get home, I start making dinner so that it's ready between 5 and 5:30. Kids take FOREVER to eat (OMG it's painful some nights), and we try to cut them off at 7, so they can get ready for bed (which takes about an hour, particularly if I'm not harping on my son to stop getting distracted by every little thing).

And honestly, I should go to bed between 8:30 and 9, because I have kind of high sleep requirements. This sucks. So, I usually end up staying up later, procrastinating. If I am taking care of myself (vitamins, full skin routine, hygiene) it takes me about 45 minutes to get ready for bed. Often I am too tired, or too distracted, to do this. It is what it is.

Throw in the mix that Tuesdays my daughter has tutoring from 6 to 8 (bedtime out the window at least for her, and sometimes my son insists on staying up as long as she "gets to"), Wednesday is my son's beginner parkour class (Little Ninjas) from 5 to 6, and Thursdays are swim lesson days (5 to 6:30 when you factor in changing and that their classes are back-to-back). Sunday's spare time in the late afternoon is usually eaten up by grocery shopping.

Oh, and my husband and I usually end up trying to fit an at-home date night in there, somewhere... Often Wednesday...

We'll, what are my weekends like then? They, too, are pretty much booked up, although it being summer makes them more so, since I feel an incessant need to spend as much social/leisure time with my children as I can right now, before they become teenagers and pretend they don't know me anymore.

Once a month, we get together with our "Tribe" or "Chosen Family"; the people we aren't actually related to by blood, but whom mean the world to us, and whom often treat us/are treated by us better than actual blood relations. Tribe Dinner is held at a different person's place once a month, so we don't lose sight of these important people. It's nice to get all the "cousin's" together too, as they make their own tribes.

There are birthday parties, get-togethers with our actual families, cottage weekends (which are relaxing in and of themselves, but cause a bit of stress when planning and packing).

This week was particularly stressful and (for the kids especially) disappointing, as they were supposed to join up with some of the Tribe mothers and cousin's for a DIY summer camp, but half the clan came down with Covid. This has also required for us to postpone our annual MidSummers party, which is our biggest party of the year and had been originally scheduled for tomorrow.

Stupid Covid.

So, that's been moved to August.

Finally, there comes the last peppering of craziness in my scheduling, which is to find time for modeling, cosplay, and acting. With the kids out of school, I've basically relegated those to the back-burner. It's just too, too much.

Luckily for me, there is a bit of a reprieve for me.

Next week, the kids are in bike-camp, which, while it makes things a tiny bit more hectic in the mornings and evenings with having to get them ready a bit earlier and having to pick them up from the camp after work, also means I get a Friday to myself!

However, it won't be all fun and games, because the next day we are leaving on our annual summer vacation to Manitoulin Island.

Which will, fingers crossed, be the deserving break that I need.

In case you're wondering, I haven't abandoned the cruise-life post. The draft DIDN'T delete itself. It's just, as I had hoped, saved on my other phone rather than on the server. I will continue working on it, so keep checking back!

[jnnambatac]

Week 8

So this is it! The day of pitch deck, I was very nervous on this day because we are still not done on our PowerPoint presentation. Luckily the schedule was move into the afternoon. As I was making our PowerPoint presentation I recognize some of our interviewees have many suggestions about streetlights. Suggestions like installing solar panel, motion sensor, anti theft mechanism, hydro power and etc. I’ve realize that we have many option for our product but we also need to considered the availability of materials.  As a result, the team decided to present our presentation individually so that each of us could speak. The presentation goes well, although Sir Jael and Ma'am Bergado have made some suggestions that we might examine. They stated that our product is good, but that we need to do something to distinguish it from other similar items. So, after the pitch, we discuss what we might add to make our product stand out on our GC. Many suggestions were made, but one in particular attracted my interest. It is to make our solar panels follow the sun in order to increase its efficiency. I think this idea is doable because I've found many studies related to this idea. 

Example of auto rotation solar panel idea:

One of the idea that I've seen on the net is to add LDR(Light Dependent Resistor) on the solar panel, this resistor can increase resistance when hit by light. So we can use a microcontroller to manipulate the resistance change, and the microcontroller will utilize a servo motor to regulate the angle of our solar panel. There are many more studies that support this theory, thus I believe it is feasible.

That concludes my week 8 :))

[loptrcoptr]

Me: I’m going to have a very chill night, make myself some kind of healthy-ish dinner, and relax. Drink some bubble water, be chill.

Crazy horse lady: *tells me I have to cancel all my lessons on Monday so I can go to brunch with her and everyone else and listen to her bitch for three straight hours, which will change nothing in terms of ‘the business plan’, but has already obviously offended all of my Brand New Clients*

Me:

[abimess]

A welcomed change of plans

Jane Banner x Reader

Summary: Long-distance relationships are never easy, even more so when they involve not spending holidays with your loved one. You showing up at her door on Christmas Eve is not the only surprise Jane will get tonight.

Warnings: slight suggestive talk (almost nothing)

Pronouns: not used || Word count: 1.503

Not me writing a proposal to the love of my life FOR CHRISTMAS!!! I feel blessed haha enjoy the reading while I go be soft in silence

You do NOT have permission to repost or translate my work on any platforms (even with credit)

For this request I Christmas Special Masterlist I Masterlist | Library Blog

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Despite loving her job, Jane couldn't ignore some extremely negative points about it. For example, today is Christmas Eve, six o'clock in the afternoon. And instead of being at home, she was working.

But she wasn't exactly sad about it. The actual sad part about Christmas is not being able to spend it with you.

You and Jane met a little over two years ago, in New York. You were both there for work, but the attraction between the two of you was so magnetic that it was impossible not to make room in your schedule to meet and even more inevitable to prevent the feelings from blossoming.

Jane told you she's currently living in Washington and you told her you've recently been transferred to Cleveland. The distance isn't long, there's no time zone difference and, luckily, your work is flexible, allowing you to visit her frequently.

Still, the longing is unbearable and the heartache of not spending Christmas with you is more intense than she would like to admit. At least she'd be able to see you, even if it's only through a screen.

When her workday is finally over, Jane gathers her things on her table. As she finishes putting her stuff in her bag, footsteps approach her. When she turns to face the person, she sees one of her close friends in the Headquarters.

"What's up, Banner, are you going with us to Clarke's party?" Smith asks excitedly as the two walk to the building's exit. "I can't, I have a date," Jane replies apologetically, but the smile on her face shows she is not really that sorry, and the man smiles amused.

"Merry virtual Christmas to you." The man says before the two go their separate ways, and Jane lets out a giggle. "Merry Christmas, Smith."

And then Jane's driving back home. But she barely acknowledges the way there, counting down the minutes to call you, to hear your voice again. It doesn't matter if she talked to you this morning after leaving for work, she missed you the moment the phone call ended.

It begins to snow just as the blonde parks her car in the garage. On the porch steps, a few feet away, Jane sees someone sitting. Her muscles immediately tense in alertness, but as soon as she recognizes the figure, she widens her eyes.

"Oh my god, Y/n!" She exclaims as she gets out of the car, walking over at you with her arms hugging her body to protect herself from the cold. "What are you doing here?"

"You've changed the hiding place of the spare key." You say as you stand up, smiling as you move closer to her and wrapping your arms around her waist. "Shit." The blonde mumbles with her eyes shut, sliding her hands over your shoulders, and you giggle.

"There are suspicions of home invasions in the area, I thought I'd better be cautious." She explains and you hum in understanding, an amused smile playing on your lips. "It would've been interesting to let me know at least."

"I forgot!" She says defensively, making you giggle. "In my defense, you weren't supposed to be back until next week." She retorts and you raise your eyebrows. "Do you want me to go back to Ohio?"

"Not at all, I'm glad you're here." She says as she smiles, her fingers moving to the back of your neck and scratching the skin there. You smile in appreciation, having missed her touch for so long.

Pulling her closer, you connect your lips, kissing her gently yet passionately, pouring there all the longing you felt this past two months, and she does just the same.

When you move away, she looks at you with adoration, but soon her expression changes to one of confusion. "Why are you, though?"

"Did you really think I would miss the opportunity to spend Christmas with you? Especially after the fiasco that was last year?" You say and Jane giggles, remembering last year when you invited her to spend Christmas with your family.

On that occasion, absolutely all your relatives decided to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend. Jane loved that weekend, using to this day various information provided to her to make fun of you. This is the exact reason why you promised you'd never take her to one of your family reunions again.

"Besides Christmas, there's another reason why I'm here." You say, and even though you smile, your voice sounds serious, anxious. Jane frowns worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

"No." You answer promptly, shaking your head as a tender smile frames your expression. "On the contrary, things were never as good as they are now." You assure, making a hue of pink creep in her cheeks as she smiles back at you.

"Jane, almost two years ago I met you, and honestly it was the best thing that ever happened to me." You tell her, your heart beating faster and faster as you do so. Jane watches you attentively and silently, and so you keep going.

"You changed my life completely. Looking back now it seems like I was just surviving and now I'm actually living. And honestly, I don't see myself living with anyone other than you." You confess and you can see tears pooling in the corner of her eyes as she finally realizes what you're doing right now. You take a deep breath.

"So," you start, moving away from her as you bring your hand to the inside pocket of your jacket. You get down on one knee with the velvet box in your hands and the blonde's breath hitches. The snow freezes your knee immediately, but Jane is looking at you with eyes so bright and a smile so blissful that you couldn't care less. "Jane Banner, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" She answers immediately, making you giggle happily. She pulls you up by the shoulders and deposits several kisses all over your face as she repeats her answer over and over again. You hug her tight, your heart ready to explode inside your chest.

She ends the kissing sequence with a long one on your mouth, and even though you're both smiling too much to keep going, you do it anyway.

When the kiss is over, you move away just enough to put the ring on her finger, and you both giggle happily at the sight.

"I love you to the moon and back, my darling." You say as you look back at her eyes, stroking her hand with her thumbs, and Jane smiles brightly, caressing your cheek with her other hand. "And I love you with all I am and all I will ever be."

She looks so beautiful, so happy, and you missed her so much that you can't help but kiss her again, and the blonde doesn't oppose it in the tiniest bit. When you pull away, you notice Jane's expression changing.

"I'm so glad you came to spend Christmas with me, but I have absolutely nothing prepared. I was going to eat yesterday's leftovers while we had our video call." She says and you giggle.

"How glamorous." You tease, making her roll her eyes in amusement. "I don't mind, though, I just want to be with you." You confess, hugging her again, and Jane takes no time in wrapping her arms around your neck.

"A friend is hosting a party for my colleagues if you want to go." She suggests and you hum in agreement. "Sounds fun. But I'd like to take a shower first if that's okay." You answer and Jane nods. "That's okay, I could use one myself."

"Great, we can do it together then." You quip, a mischievous smile on your lips, and Jane bites her lip in a smile immediately. "I think we'll be late for the party." She retorts, but you can see by her eyes darkened with lust that she's as up to the idea as you are.

"I don't mind." You answer, lowering your hands to her lower back, and Jane moves forward, kissing you with such intensity that all the air is immediately knocked out of your lungs.

At some point during the kiss, a gust of cold wind envelops the two of you and Jane shivers intensely, making you smile. "Let's go inside before you freeze." You tease, making her giggle. Before you start to walk, she raises her hand in your line of sight.

"My hand is kind of heavy right now, you know? I think you should carry it." She says with a smug smile, and you laugh through your nose as you take her hand in yours.

"Smooth, Banner." You say amusedly, making the blonde let out a chuckle.

Once inside the house, away from the snow and the cold, Jane kisses you again, but only stops when the two of you are in her bathroom.

As she eagerly removes your jacket you smirk, thinking that there is no better way to spend Christmas Eve.

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#Day 18: About whale watching and keeping secrets (Wanda Maximoff x Reader)

And that's it for today! I hope you enjoyed it, thoughts and comments are always welcome ツ

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