#luke literally is a dickhead

[antianakin]

MY STANCES ON CONTROVERSIAL CHARACTERS ARE AS FOLLOWS

Anakin Skywalker: This one's fairly obvious, but I'm one of the people who doesn't see Anakin as redeemed by the end of ROTJ just because he saved one person he personally gives a damn about. My definition of redemption is about atoning and making amends, and Anakin has no possible way of actually DOING THAT for most of the things he's done, so there's no real way of acquiring redemption. He can be a better person, he can be forgiven by individual people for things he's done to them, he can keep choosing to be selfless instead of selfish, but none of that necessarily means he has to be considered redeemed. If you think he's redeemed at the end of ROTJ and that's what brings you joy in your interpretation of the story, great, I honestly don't care. But if you choose to come into my notes and get mad at me because I don't think the space fascist is redeemed just because he decides to save his own son, you will now be blocked on sight, I'm done having that conversation with people.

The Jedi As A Whole: Wonderful people with a beautiful culture that never did a single thing to deserve what was done to them. They were not corrupt, they didn't need to reform their culture in a single way. There was nothing more they could've done for Anakin or the Republic that would've stopped what happened. They don't steal children, they adopt them from parents who choose to let their children lead a better life, and become part of the large extended Jedi family. They are intergalactic therapists whose literal way of life IS therapy for those who choose to follow it. They were outplayed, but they did everything they could've possibly done. Sometimes, it is possible to commit no mistakes, and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life. (Side note here: This is an incredibly pro Jedi blog, if you come on my blog and criticize the Jedi in any way, you will be immediately blocked, I am so done with this fandom's anti-Jedi sentiments, consider this your warning.)

Padme Amidala: Deserved better from the Prequels, has such potential and promise and I want so dearly to save her from her toxic ass marriage to a fascist MAGA manchild, but damn am I glad Luke and Leia didn't have to grow up with her as a mother some days.

Bo-Katan Kryze: I wish I could like her, but the writers are making it SO HARD. They don't seem to ever remember that she gleefully set an entire village on fire because they dared ask for their enslaved people back and to not be occupied anymore, but I do.

Satine Kryze: I wish I could like her, but I don't have enough nostalgia for her to overlook how bad the writing is for her. She treats Obi-Wan like garbage, brings out the worst in him, acts very arrogantly about just about everything and never has to take responsibility for her own mistakes so she gets to die a martyr.

Aleksander Kallus: Literally has to have his ENTIRE BACKSTORY retconned so he can be "redeemed" within the span of one episode. Also manages to "All Lives Matter" Zeb into thinking that judging Imperials for their fascist choices is the same as judging an ENTIRE SPECIES on the actions of one individual who was acting in self-defense anyway. Stop saying he's got the best redemption arc in Star Wars, it sucks fucking ass and he's not a fucking Fulcrum, he just stole the title from Ahsoka and didn't earn it and he was a shit spy anyway.

Crosshair: Bigoted dickhead who treats everyone like complete crap and then goes full fascist as a punishment for the world when no one wants to risk their lives to save him. His redemption arc was completely half-assed and he should've had to do a LOT more to gain people's forgiveness and absolutely no one should've been forced to apologize to HIM.

Bode Akuna: Basically just Anakin lite and we all know how I feel about Anakin. No sob story justifies anything he's done and I didn't find him all that interesting or sympathetic, personally.

Rafa and Trace Martez: I actually loved them, I thought they had an interesting relationship with each other and with Ahsoka, I appreciated how different they felt and the arc Ahsoka goes on with them. I don't mind that they used them to showcase the rising anti-Jedi sentiment among the citizens of Coruscant, I just wish their opinions hadn't been presented as though they were right. I love that we see they've joined a rebellion of sorts post-Order 66 and I wish we'd gotten to see more of Trace, Rafa, and Rex working together rather than the absolute trashfire that we're actually getting on TBB.

Ahsoka Tano: Relationship status: It's complicated. I DO like her, generally, but I REALLY dislike the way she's constantly written in later stuff to be better than everyone else and to have basically zero flaws so that she can end up like a messiah or a goddess of light reborn or something. It's boring, it's annoying, and it just isn't any good. I particularly don't care for how she consistently gets utilized to bash the Jedi Order and absolve Anakin for all of his sins. Ahsoka deserves better, but I'm also immensely frustrated with where her story's taken her and the way fandom tends to treat her. We also just straight-up need more main female Jedi characters and as long as Ahsoka's around it feels like it'll never happen. She's completely irrelevant to the story overall and I'm annoyed at how much Felony is trying to make her more significant than she is instead of just letting her stand on her own for once.

Sabine Wren: I love the Rebels version of her, but the Ahsoka show version sucks. I have decided it simply does not exist for Sabine. That isn't the real Sabine and it never will be. That's not Sabine's story, the real Sabine would never try to be a Jedi because quite simply she doesn't NEED to be. And the real Sabine would NEVER disrespect Ezra's sacrifice by undoing it and then leaving him to deal with the fallout. It's stupid, it's ugly, and Sabine deserved better.

Hera Syndulla: Much like Sabine, I love the Rebels version of her, but the Ahsoka version sucks. The Ahsoka version deserves to be kicked out of the army or whatever, she's a terrible mother and an even worse General and quite honestly not that great of a friend. The real Hera would NEVER act like orders didn't matter just because she doesn't like them or refuse to see the logic in letting go of Ezra after he's been missing for 10 years so that those resources can go to people who they can confirm are still alive.

Shin Hati: She's so so so boring. She has the personality of cardboard, it basically consists of "crazy eyes" and that's about it. She is pretty literally just Darth Maul but a girl. Like every single part of her character so far is indistinguishable from Maul aside from the cosmetic stuff. I hope she dies in season 2 and never gets a redemption arc. I'd say Sabine deserves better, but honestly Ahsoka!Sabine deserves her.

Grey Jedi: Stop trying to make fetch happen. It's not going to happen. Let Grey Jedi stay in fanon where it belongs, none of your faves are Grey Jedi in canon and they never will be.

[letsgetrowdy43]

Life with Little Miss Flo— insta edit

Au Masterlist!!

Ynofficial just posted!!

Liked by lucafantilli and 1 588 others

Ynofficial my and little miss flo can’t wait for spring break!!

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Eblue_06 you and flo better stop by during the break!! Need to see you cuties ❤️

Ynofficial we will make sure to make a special trip just for you!!

User64 my god she’s getting some big

Rutgermcgroarty where tf are you looking in the first picture

Markestapa where tf are your manners, tell her she looks pretty you dickhead

Rutgermcgroarty you look so pretty 😀

User98 her little cheeks 🥹

Seamuscasey26 PUT YOUR KIDS DOGS AWAY

Ynofficial why are you looking at my kids foot??

Plapointe_22 ❤️❤️

Ynofficial just posted!!

Liked by jacob_truscott20 and 1 928 others

Ynofficial a little life lately

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Plapointe_22 awe me and flo

Adamfantilli I was more in awe of you and truss😍

Jacob_truscott20 our love means nothing to him 😪

User75 girl he is so husband material

Thomasbordeleau_ nah, he still gets yn to do his laundry for him

Plapointe_22 That is not true…

Ynofficial I do recall putting a load in for you last night 🤨

Nolan_moyle why is no one talking abt the pic of duker

Dylanduke25 sexy right 😼

Ynofficial me and him had a little photo shoot otw to target 🤷‍♀️

Plapointe_22 just posted!!

Liked by erikportillo and 3 929 others

Plapointe_22 I’m in my girl dad era 😌

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Lhughes_06 I can’t believe that yn let you leave the house in those ugly shorts

Ynofficial i told him they were ugly… he doesn’t listen to me

Plapointe_22 that’s literally not true

User73 she’s crawling 😩

Nblanks98 I’m gonna need to visit soon

Ynofficial please do 🙏

Ynofficial just posted!!

Liked by edwards.73 and 1 600 others

Ynofficial little miss flo and i stopped by the rink, Luke is the only one who would let me take a photo of him so he gets a dedicated post 🫶🏻 Lukey is my fav

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Lhughes_06 I’m a man of the ppl, it’s what I do 😉

Mackie.samo that’s such Bullshit moosey

Plapointe_22 my girls ❤️

Owenpower_ no. those are our girls

Kentjohnson.13 #fortheteam

Ynofficial that feels like slut shaming

Nolanmoyle slut shaming with love 🫶🏻

User75 all hail our queen 🧎🏼‍♀️

User95 the Luke content has been lacking as of late so thank you for this

Brendan.brisson since no one is saying it ig I will… THE FIT FUCKS

Ynofficial thanks briss 😚 I knew you’d appreciate it

User64 Flo’s little button nose 😍😍

[hannahhook7744]

Isle Representative Group Chat! (Part 3);

Usernames: Captain/Theeleganthannahhook/Captain Elegant= Hannah Hook, adoptive daughter of Zarina the pirate fairy and Captain Hook. livelaughfuckyou= Zee Snoops, daughter of Madame Medusa and Mr. Snoops. theisleshottestprince= Lucas ‘Luke’ Tremaine-Westergaard, son of Prince Hans Westergaard and Drizella Tremaine. Gothbitch= Darcy Aoratos, daughter of Hades and Narissa. thegoddessoffear= Skia Aoratos, daughter of Persephone and Hades. Dashadowman= John Facilier, son of Ursula and Dr. Facilier. Clever= Kailani ‘Clever’ Athanasiou, daughter of Ursula and Dr. Facilier. Flamingkaratemaster= Treycor Fae-Aoratos, son of Maleficent and Hades. Princess Peach= Peachy Gothel, daughter of Mother Gothel and Captain Flynn. Yellow devil= Remi de Vil, son of Cruella de Vil. Gothmermaid= River Le Beak, son of Lord Fathom and Beatrice Le Beak. WarriorBri= Shan Bri, daughter of Shan Yu. Thescarletking= Aaron King. Redbitch= Anna King. Thephantomstabber= Alexander ‘Alex’ Procrustes Aoratos-Sinclair ||, son of Helga Sinclair and Hades. Sunshine boy= Noah Aoratos, son of Persephone and Hades (he's 8).

--------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6: Damn it, Julie.

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Trigger warnings: sibling on sibling violence, stress, anger, swearing, threats of knife violence, etc.

Co-written with @igetthedisneybox as usual.

6/01/2024 at  12:20 PM.

Thephantomstabber: WHO THE FUCK IS SCREAMING, I'M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP YOU FUCK HEADS!

livelaughfuckyou: that would be our elegant captain

theisleshottestprince: Why are you trying to sleep, it's noon?

Thephantomstabber: Fuck you. Fuck your mom. Fuck your whole family!

theisleshottestprince: Well, someone's cranky.

theisleshottestprince: No wait that's how you always are.

Thephantomstabber: Do you want to get shot?

Princess Peach: No threats in the GC Alex!

Thephantomstabber: You're not the boss of me. 

6/01/2024 at  12:30 PM.

Sunshine boy: Whys Luke laughing?

Sunshine boy: And whys Alis swearin?

thegoddessoffear: Luke is laughing because Treycor smacked Alex because he was being a dickhead–don’t repeat that word–and Alex is sweating because Treyocr smacked him. 

Princess Peach: Noah’s in the chat, nobody’s allowed to swear starting now!!!!

Redbitch: How long has he even been here????

Gothbitch: His mom gave him a phone, remember?

thegoddessoffear: I forgot mom did that.

theisleshottestprince: I thought that happened weeks ago?

Sunshine boy: It did!

Sunshine boy: I was just tryin’ to think of something to say!

theisleshottestprince: Darcy, babe, I'm adopting your brother.

Gothbitch: The fuck you are! 

Gothbitch: You have more siblings than I do and my dad is literally a god . Go adopt your own siblings!

theisleshottestprince: But your brother is adorable!

theisleshottestprince: My siblings, minus Dizzy and the triplets, are just annoying. Or dead. 

Thephantomstabber: I was being attacked and none of you did anything?! 

Gothbitch: We all agreed to stay out of siblings’ arguing. 

Thephantomstabber: BITCH YOU'RE MY SISTER!

[Seen]. 

6/01/2024 at  12:40 PM.

Princess Peach: Treycor! Stop hitting Alex!

Flamingkaratemaster: Wasn't me this time. 

livelaughfuckyou: so we jus gonna ignore that h is still screaming or

Gothmermaid: oh, Julie Foulfellow just brought one of her contracts again.

Gothmermaid: *broke.

Thescarletking: that and her dads won't stop approaching children and breaking their contacts. 

livelaughfuckyou: i see. continue on w ur argument spawns of hades

[ragingstillness]

Finally getting around to watching CM:E

Thoughts thus far:

Rossi is sad and I remain pissed that they killed Krystal for no reason

Grey!Em is still my favorite thing

Happy to hear some swearing, the original show needed more of it

Let Rossi say fuck 2k24

“Remote Garcias” “we’re not gonna learn their names” lol Luke stays savage

“Anglophile baking club” oh come on Garcia. We all saw how shockingly queer everyone at that party is. It’s a kiki, plain and simple

Weren’t Luke and Garcia going to go on a date? Oh it’s been three years

“Take your carbs and exit sir” I love Garcia so much

“Hoo-ha” lol, burn Goop to the ground

“Korean drama” it’s a BTS anti unsub

Garcia straight up flapping I love her so much

Damn the writers for this Krystal flashback

Emily is gonna eat this Deputy Director alive

Oh thank fuck at least the rest of Dave’s family is alive

The Galvez cheek kiss *eeeee*

That little head kiss, Rossi’s such a dad/grandad

Damn Sicarius how do you have the time to dig all these holes?

Hahahahahaha I picked up on Tara and Rebecca at the same time as Emily

Waha Tara being openly queer!!!

Paget is like a proud mama that someone in the BAU finally gets to be queer

Dang this cashier girl is like literally saying exactly what I do at work

“My floof” I relate to this girl so hard

“Jagoff!” “Fuckhead!” Get his ass Rossi

Damn this therapy talk is so accurate go Garcia

Garcia and Rossi’s friendship is my Roman Empire

Man I can’t believe Sicarius actually thought that he could control obsessional killers. Dude, they aren’t going to listen to you

Sicarius you anti-retail asshole. I will dream of smashing you in the head with an axe from the hardware store where I work

Emily and Dave walking together both with grey hair look so cool now

“Is everyone but me getting laid?” “I’m not” lol ngl I appreciate the increased sexual humor

That’s my girl Garcia! I hate what it’s gonna do to your mental health to be back but I’m happy to see you

Dude if you’re gonna be a criminal psychopath with these amazing computer skills, how are you not at least making money off of it? Like, there is zero reason for you to be poor. Normally I wouldn’t say that about anyone but dude, are you seriously providing these kill kits for free?

Wait a sec he actually /took/ the dog? He didn’t just kill it? Dickhead!

“This fucking guy” yeah Rossi, read my mind about most unsubs on this show

Rebecca and Tara’s height difference is kind of killing me in this elevator scene they’re so cute

Garcia are you wearing Rocky Horror earrings? Love that

Haha fine furry friends returns

Dang y’all is Rossi the only one allowed to say fuck? It makes him sound like a teenager that just learned all the swear words. Let Garcia say fuck 2k24

I can’t believe that it’s an actual plot line that COVID prevented serial killers from killing so they had to change it up and go online. I’m sure the writers thought it sounded cool but it just sounds silly. What, did Sicarius’ first kill kits also include PPE?

Also why are these guys so willing to kill themselves for Sicarius? They seem like devoted to the cause and frankly, so many of these guys are narcissists and we’ve just seen one defy Sicarius, why are they listening to him? Seriously? No matter what he has on them, why would they consider it more important to follow his orders than their compulsions?

“You two-faced little jerk” yeah I hope he heard that

Soon we’re gonna be seeing Emily’s daydreams about killing people, not just Sicarius’.

Seriously, the idea of Sicarius having money problems is so dumb to me. He’s been shown to have immense resources and technological capability as well as ample time to use them. There is no reason why he should be financially unstable. I get that stuff like private school is expensive but dude, DUDE, you’re running a network of serial killers! It’s not THAT expensive! I feel like this whole plot point is set up to humanize him to a degree and it isn’t working well.

God whatever props guy worked on these posts for the fake forum Sicarius is using had fun. There’s a user named George_Jungle_fkr whose post consists of “I have a waifu, too!!! She lives in the jungle. I fuck in the jungle. I kill in the jungle.” With a profile picture of George of the Jungle. No shit. Pause on that screen, it’s wild. User GetHungry1893 with a post about not judging people and a profile pic of a man with bloody hands sucking on a bone. User NotSoFast with a drag racing car profile pic and with a post titled “I’m getting more guns!” That then goes on to use the phrase “waifu” and *wink wink*. User Tiredoftheblood101 with a bloodspot clipart profile pic and use of the term “OP”, asking about how to kill his MOM (capitalization his). Also in the background a user named Anonymous1232 with the anonymous logo as their profile pic.

Wait Sicarius actually has a real job? He wasn’t just bullshitting about it so he could travel all over the country? What, is running this serial killer network like a side hustle for him? Wait wait wait and he’s going on business trips that the company is actually sending him on? Like he’s following their directives? And driving a company car? This is insane. If they’re gonna characterize Sicarius the way they have been, none of this makes sense. Side note: the guy playing Sicarius is actually a good actor and after some of the previous disappointments (Scratch and the Chameleon) it’s nice to see.

This DEI discussion between Sicarius’ daughter and the redneck neighbor was not something I expected to see in Criminal Minds.

“You fucking beta cuck” yeah pretty much what I’d expect from a guy like this. But also, hysterical to hear incel language being used in real life. Damn man, you just called his daughter a bitch? He’s gonna flay you alive! I wouldn’t provoke anyone like that, even without knowing they’re the head of a serial killer network. Anyone can snap you dumbass.

“Somebody should do something about that guy.” Oh of course she says this to the serial killer. Good lord. “I’m glad you’re not that somebody.” Oh honey yes he is lol. Or he’ll send someone from the network to do it.

Ha I just realized that I carried a case exactly like the kill kit cases when I worked for the Red Cross. Contained equally suspicious things (needles, gauze, etc), if you didn’t know what company I was working for lol.

“Those who bankrolled you” then why is he having money problems god this is so dumb! “I’m not putting a gun to my head” yeah I predicted this would happen.

More hysterical users on Sicarius’ platform: User NotSoFast at it again “I miss my family. Bad aim” User Ript4u, with a muscular torso pic talking about the fruitlessness of love, calling people lemmings, “simps,” “bitchboy,” “I will dominate,” and the delightful paragraph “These bitches think they’re got it all figured out. Walking on a cloud of happy thoughts and unicorn farts.”

Haha Garcia said fan fiction! We made it to the mainstream lol.

“Honey let it go” woman he called your daughter a bitch! I’d punch him for that!

Damn Tara you’re gonna get your gf fired

“Typical bureaucratic bullshit” yes YES the old man is out! Rossi ur a king

Is Sicarius really there in person! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Oh wow he is what a dumbass! And so close to the bomb zone too! Did you want to get blown up too?!

Yeah bringing in domestic terror was a mistake.

“Excellent. I never wanted it in the first place” also kind of misogynistic to turn to Rossi after Emily rejected you.

“Wank-weasel” Garcia ur my spirit animal

“You’re a hedge fund manager with a badge. You have never done anything” get his ass Emily! I guess after Barnes the BAU has completely lost their patience for bureaucratic dickheads

“I just wanted you to hold my hand” they are soft gfs and I love them

About time one of the unsubs turned on Sicarius

Screw the propaganda that you can just make dogs eat people when they’ve been totally docile and relaxed their whole lives

Hey Sicarius, you remembering how annoying it is to do your own cleanup now?

Who the fuck is this guy Elias is hallucinating?

Genuinely curious how he finds time to make these custom foam inserts for the briefcases

Ok why is it taking so long to identify the victims found from Sicarius? This is set in 2022, DNA is fast and common.

Can’t believe this Tyler guy looked into Garcia enough to send her the encrypted locations but not enough to figure out she literally worked for the FBI. His anger over her handing over the info makes zero sense.

I know a lot of ppl hate Will for getting in the way of Jemily but he’s a very good husband. Patient, intelligent, cute. I like him.

“I believe you, but will Mom?” This new sibling energy between Rossi and Emily is everything. Also that burgundy blazer set is amazing on her.

I think Tyler has a little crush on Garcia. He just wants a woman who will kick his ass.

“Because of you I feel safe in our home” so cute literally so romantic I love them when they’re sweet

Only tangentially related but I’d love to see an episode where a serial killer breaks into another serial killer’s house. Like would it go “whoops my bad” or “you asshole you jacked my plan!” or would they just kill each other

Garcia’s little rant is hilarious

“I’m not a problem. I’m a delight. I’m a little dramatic but wonderful” yes you are Garcia

I almost believe the deputy director truly didn’t want to be overseeing this case. My guess, without watching the episode, is that he wants to prove he has some field experience so Emily can’t use it against him anymore. Also he might have a small crush on her and be a little afraid of Rossi. This season is full of men who like dominant women and I support that. I don’t support any sort of relationship between this man and Emily but I support the concept

“Bullshit. She broke your heart.” Welcome to working with profilers sir.

Also finally figured out what Emily’s scathing inditement of the deputy director reminded me of: it’s Hotch’s profiling of his team to defend them against Strauss

Emily’s smile when she finally got one over the deputy director, so pretty

Garcia and her ‘puter like she literally did the cat meme

Ok the orange crocs are a sin I would throw a folder at him too

Not surprised Will doesn’t have cancer but pissed they even teased us with it.

Haha Garcia is gonna make that dude keep the cat lol

Oh hey Sicarius. Nice to see you. Gonna kill a senator now?

lol Sicarius is like yeah I’m not sticking around for this freaky Oedipal shit. You can bankroll me, but I’m not into voyeurism on this

I know we’re supposed to be worried but 1) using a streaming site undercuts the tension of thinking a character will die and 2) that was the sexiest wheels up ever

Hahaha wow they didn’t even try to give us a realistic justification for Sicarius taking off his shirt

[punkeropercyjackson]

My peruvian ass is here to spread the argentinian agenda because percy because I would love to see Percy with the argentinian accent.

Luke: fuck you,dickhead, stupid bitch.

Percy,literally with the most disturbing and unhinged insults: Escuchame una cosa,pedazo de hijo de las re mil putas,y la recalcada concha de tu madre,aborto de la naturaleza,hijo de una cañonada de vergas sifiliticas,malparido, a vos te hicieron por no botar la leche.

luke: ....

HFLSKDKDKDGDJDHFH????? /positive

[sc0tters]

What is one piece you thought would do better than it has? And what is one piece you didn’t think would do well but did

I have different answers for different reasons:

Could have done better:

this one - it just never got any attention which surprised me because he was causing such traffic in my inbox

this one - nothing was wrong with how it was perceived, I just thought it would have gotten at least one part two request and it didn’t.

Passed Expectations:

this one - this was literally the second thing I published and it wasn’t even a request, it was me having fun in an Airbnb. makes me laugh that it is my top post

this series - overall the love on this series made my heart melt! And dickhead Luke was fun to write

[positivityjediprince]

Modern au where din and Luke end up with the exact same group of freinds but never manage to run into each other as a group start dating without telling anyone while their freinds are trying to set them up with each other but due to copious useless of nicknames they have no clue that it's each other

This feels confusing so I'll give an example

Luke working at Ms.mottos repair shop: oh hey it's lunch I'm gonna step out

Peli: oh that's fine I have a freind stopping by after this you should meet him and his kid

Luke: darn I need to run an errand for uncle obi sorry

*ten minutes later*

Din walking in with grogu

Peli: hey Mando you just missed junior he loves kids you two would get along well

Din: thank you for watching grogu I have lunch plans

Din to grogu: see you later kid I'll be back soon

Of course this au is best if Boba and the clones are related and the clones and anakin are close

It would be funny and grogu being the only one who knows

Ahsoka is of course the one who runs into them when they're on a date

-🐢

OMGGG IM C R Y I N G the Shakespearian comedy energy of this! I'm Living!

The gang ABSOLUTELY have a group chat dedicated to scheming of having Din and Luke meet!!! (They also have memes about them on this group chat..it continues even once they find out)

I love the idea that Din and Luke meeting like in a pretty normal place/way, like the park and Grogu just hones in on Luke or Din sees Luke ready to throw hands with some dickhead or whatever. Meanwhile the group is coming up with increasingly convoluted plots to get them in the same place.

Also they literally talk about their friends, but are so into eachother they don't even notice that so many of their circle has the same name; they're too busy making heart eyes and wedding Pinterest boards.

Din, the clones and Boba helping Anakin out with stuff and Anakin thinking 'hmm this young man would be the perfect son-in-law and he comes with instant grandson! And just keeps bigging Luke up and Din like being polite but thinking 'i already have the best Luke'.

I want Din and Luke just constantly coincidentally leaving a room as one of their friends walks in. Like full Emperor's New Groove restaurant scene vibes

Din like 'thats so funny I have a friend called Leia who has a twin brother called Luke! Must be a popular name combo!' Luke like 'my bestie Cara has a friend called Din and is a disaster lesbian too!' and it's just peak dumbass.

Din and Luke dating for almost a year when Ahsoka happens to walk past them on an adorable picnic date, and kissing. She sees Din lean in to kiss someone and is like "oh no our plans are ruined" and thEN SHE SEES THAT ITS LUKE AND LOSES HER MIND

She calls the group chat like YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

At the wedding Boba and Anakin have a slide show of the best of the Operation DinLuke groupchat and texts between them and Din and Luke. The presentation is iconic and Din and Luke are like .....how did we not realise... But at the same time do watch the video of it at least once a year (normally on their anniversary).

[adorethedistance]

Wired So Tight (4) - Artist!Reader X Alive!Luke Patterson 90s AU (18+)

JATP masterlist

Warnings: SMUT, this is a literal sex scene very nsfw, swearing. 

Words: 3172 (like, double all the previous parts)

Summary: There’s no time like the present to hook up with Luke Patterson! The only issue is this janitor’s closet is way too small for you to fit in.

A/N: I just realized that in part 1 I omitted Bobby from the friend group despite this being a 1990’s AU… Oops. Also, for those of you observant enough to clock that I gave the reader a flip phone in the 1990’s, you’re in the right place. And final disclaimer, as an LGBT, I am allowed to say the gays cannot drive (it’ll make sense eventually, just read the fic).

“Are-are you serious?” Luke pulls away from the spot under my ear where he’d been placing a sensual kiss.

“What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’?” I ask both humorously and incredulously. Luke stares at me for a second before lifting his eyebrows and microscopically shaking his head in pointed confusion.

“There’s like no room in this closet with us just standing here, how do you expect to- you know-” I trail off in a modesty that was solely elicited by embarrassment.

“Expect to what?” He teases before leaning back in and placing a lingering kiss on my lips. When he breaks the kiss, he barely pulls back and I can feel his playful smile ghosting over my cupid’s bow.

“Do that, you dickhead.”

“Well what do you suggest we do?” Luke’s lustful haze is clearing up as we both brainstorm what to do. I tried to focus on coming up with a solution, I really did! But he’s just so pretty. Even in the dim lighting of a janitor’s closet, the post-performance sweat glimmers like the night sky. His eyes always emit a wondrous glow, even when I can’t stand to look at his stupid face. And the contour of his lips! The way they relax from bliss, or lift from laughter, or the way they press together in concentration. Like right now.

“Y/n!”

“What?” I zone back in with a start.

“I know I’m hot, but the drooling is a little unnecessary.”

“Shut up,” I playfully shove his chest with my right hand, but before I can pull away Luke catches my hand in his left. My eyes drop to my shoes flusteredly. He then intertwines our fingers and caresses my hand with his thumb.

“Did you hear what I said?” he asks, leaning down to connect my eyes with his.

“No.”

“I said, I think I have an idea that might work. Just stay here. I'll be two minutes, tops.”

“Hopefully that’s not the universe’s cruel way of foreshadowing.” “Ha ha,” he says without a smile.

“Go, before my rational thoughts catch up with me!”

“Okay!” He zooms to leave, whips back around, kisses me quickly, and then bolts out the door. Ridiculous.

Now that Luke’s gone, I’m starting to come to my senses. He really pulled us into a janitor’s closet. And a gross one at that.

How romantic.

If you’d gone back in time and told Freshman me that I’d be hooking up with my nemesis, Luke Patterson, in a janitor’s closet, in a bar, on a school night… I might have dropped dead from shock.

Speaking of dropping dead from shock, what the hell am I going to tell Mia tomorrow? Will she notice the rumored ‘post-deed glow’ that people get after sex? Will I notice the rumored ‘post-deed glow’ that people get after sex? What does that glow look like? What if we don’t even do anything but kiss? Am I getting ahead of myself?

“Ready?” Luke interrupts my spiraling by abruptly opening the door to the closet.

“Where exactly are you taking me?”

“Come on, we don’t have a lot of time.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Before I can ask any further questions, Luke simply grabs my hand and drags me down the hallway. The farther we go, the faster the pace, and soon enough, we’re running through the tech crew’s tear down of the Lazy Crow.

Once Luke and I emerge from the dark hall into the backstage area, we slow our pace so as to avoid drawing suspicion. Glowing in the near distance, like a fiery red mirage, is the exit sign that hovers above the stage door. Luke pulls me through it and we emerge in a vacant alleyway. I don’t recognize any of my surroundings, and subconsciously squeeze Luke’s hand the slightest bit tighter.

“This way,” he tells me as we head for the back of the building, away from the marquee lights that illuminate the main street of downtown. Rounding the corner of the old cinder block bar,

I see a black Ford that can’t be any newer than 1975. It isn’t until after we approach the car, and Luke uses a key to unlock the trunk that I realize it’s his.

“This is your car?” I ask in disbelief.

“It’s Reggie’s. He’s our designated driver since I don’t have a car, Willie skates, and Alex is gay. Here,” he hands me a bunched up blanket, as I aim to connect the dots of Alex’s driving. Then, overcome with curiosity, I locate the corners of the blanket and lift my arms over my head to expand the image. Now fully spread out, I see the blanket is a picture of a giant wolf face.

“A wolf. How sexy-”

“Oh, shut up.”

“I mean, really, what a turn on.”

“You’re such a little shit sometimes. You know that?” Luke asks through gritted teeth and an unconcealable smile. After he relocks the trunk he lunges to grab me by the waist, and pulls me into a bear hug, smothering me in the teenage boy B.O. and whatever lingering notes are left of his cheap cologne.

“The later I’m out, the harder my parents are gonna kill me,” I whine at him through a tiny fit of laughter.

“Eager are we, Princess?”

“Just unlock the damn car!”

“As you wish, your highness,” Luke then opens the door to the back seat and bows, “Ladies first.”

“You’re so annoying,” I say climbing into the car.

“If I’m so annoying, why are you so desperate to get in my pa-”

Twisting the collar of Luke’s shirt into my dominant hand, I pull him in abruptly for a longing kiss.

“Reggie must be a really good friend if he’s willing to let you fuck in his car.” “As long as we don’t mess up the seats, he’s down to help a buddy out.” I laugh, “Hence the wolf blanket.”

We work together to lay it over the surface of the car seat. Once settled, Luke takes my face in his hands once more to hungrily kiss my lips. The kiss turns vulgar, much more explicit than any previous one in the janitor’s closet. And the added layer of frenching ignites a flame much lower in my body.

I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I am actually going to hook up with Luke Patterson.

Luke places his hands on my hips, and slowly toys with the hem of my shirt. His fingertips feel like ice against my flushed skin, due to anticipation. He then lifts the fabric off of my waist, and pulls the shirt off of my body.

Not that I was expecting the night to go like this, but intuition told me to wear my favorite bra and panties before leaving the house. Glad I listened.

After my shirt hits the floor, I swiftly take off my bra before looking back up to see Luke motionless, and staring at me.

“Can I help you?”

“Fuck,” he sighs which makes me laugh.

“Yes, I know, I’m an absolute goddess. Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Maybe, another time.” Removing his own shirt, Luke tosses it onto the floor, and then his lips are back on my neck. Instead of the chaste kisses from before, I feel him biting at the skin, sucking it against his teeth harsh enough to leave a mark. I’ll have to figure out an explanation for that, later.

His kissing and nipping travels downward to mark my collar bones, and the softer tissue of my chest. At this moment, I can’t help but think about all the cheerleaders who bullied me, and then sided with Luke whenever the two of us would publicly tussle. They’ve been sucking up to him ever since the band started getting big, but only one of us is in the backseat of his friend’s car, with our tits in his mouth!

“Fuck me,” I lace my hands into his tangled hair, and groan at the blissful sensation.

“I’m trying.” Luke continues leaving kisses down my torso until he reaches the waistline of my pants. As he lowers the waistline past the bulk of my hips, he stops to place sensual kisses on either hip bone.

“Luke, please. I just need you inside me,” I plead at the expense of his sensuality.

“Okay, I hear you. I put condoms in the glove box,” he says more to himself than me. While he retrieves the box, I can’t stop myself from eyeing his shirt that’s laying on top of mine.

“Uhm… I know sex is usually done without any clothes, but I want nothing more right now than for you to fuck me while I’m wearing your shirt.” My bold confession catches him off guard just as much as it caught me. He pauses briefly to register my words.

“It’s your world, I’m just living in it,” he shrugs while opening the box and tearing off a single square of foil. I grin widely at his response, then reach down to retrieve the discarded shirt. It’s slightly abrasive against the sensitive skin of my nipples, which Luke’s just spent the last minute marking up.

I’m pulled from my own dazed little dream world of wearing Luke’s shirt when I hear him sigh. He’s stroked himself a few times before rolling on the condom. Then, he looks back up to see me in his skull t-shirt. I lay back, propping myself up on my elbows.

“Have you done this before?”

“No, but I assume I’m in good hands,” I answer too truthfully. Luke laughs at my candid response before moving forward to hover over my eager frame.

“You’re sure you want to do this?”

“Yes! Don’t make me beg.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” he smirks before glancing down, and guiding his shaft to my entrance.

With one last nod, Luke pushes into me, fully bottoming out, and groaning in relief. The sound medleys with my shallow gasp of ecstasy, and my back arches slightly off of the seat. The burning between my thighs is just dull enough to be overshadowed by the sensational pleasure. My eyes flutter shut as I try and adjust to the new feeling. It doesn’t necessarily hurt, but it does sting a bit, and it’s much different than anything I’ve been able to do on my own. My concentration on the pain dissolves as I feel him twitch inside me ever so slightly. The feeling turns me on beyond understanding, and each moment I take to adjust, I can almost feel myself grow wetter.

Luke’s breathing is ragged. I can tell it must be agony for him to wait. The slight quiver of his hips resting against mine is indication enough for how needy he must be. I barely lift my head off the seat, and press my lips to his gently before laying back down and staring into his bewildered eyes.

“Fuck, please move.”

That was all the convincing he needed to pull his hips back, and thrust into mine. Now that feeling is much different than anything I’ve done on my own. The dull burning is back, but after a few more measured thrusts, the pleasure is amplified and I feel my clit involuntarily throb.

After a little bit, Luke’s found a rhythm that feels amazing for the both of us. I can’t help the lewd sound that resonates through my chest, into the car. My-something between a moan and a whine-really gets Luke going as he lets a string of curses fall from his pretty lips.

“You’re squeezing me so fucking good, that doesn’t hurt you does it?”

“The squeezing?” I ask between pants, “No.”

“Good. Don’t fucking stop.” His praise feels genuine, like no other girl has made him feel this way. And that makes everything feel a million times better. It feels better than any shower head or hair brush that’s had to suffice in the past.

“Luke!” I cry out when he pushes deeper inside of me. I can feel the smirk Luke is sporting even with my eyes closed. My curses of delight encourage him to move faster and he does not disappoint. Each thrust reaches deeper, hits harder, until I can’t produce any more sound. Just shallow breaths passing through my parted lips.

Luke then sucks the tip of his middle finger into his mouth, before dropping it down to rub short, calculated strokes over my clit. It’s an obscene contrast to the languid thrusts of his hips.

“God, you feel so good,” he nearly whispers as he drops his head to place another hungry kiss on my neck. My left arm desperately reaches up to hug his bare torso closer to mine, and my right hand reaches up to tangle into the back of his mousy brown hair. I can’t help the way I subconsciously pull his body closer to mine. I never want this moment to end. Right now, it’s only me and him. Me and him only.

“Not such a smartass when you’re getting dicked down real good, huh?”

“It’s ‘really well’, not ‘real good’” I sigh and I can feel him mischievously smile into the love bites he’s leaving on the side of my neck. Then, he slightly adjusts the angle of his hips, and when he presses back into me with force, I can’t stop the small screech that tears through my vocal cords.

I feel him grin against the skin below my jaw bone.

“Found it.”

I’m seeing stars from the new sensation of pleasure.

“You okay?” He checks in as he continues to move. A broken sob racks through my body in response,

“So good. I’m so close, Luke.” His face then resurfaces from my side and he captures my mouth in a greedy kiss. The rhythm of his hips coming to meet mine speeds up. And I feel his fingers against my clit again, which amplifies the internal pleasure by 100. My nerves are on fire as the quick, synchronized movement of his hips and his fingers together is enough to push me over the edge. For a few seconds I fall completely silent. My eyes squeeze shut and my lips part in ecstasy. The feeling of floating on cloud nine is briskly broken as my abdominal muscles begin convulsing, and I know Luke can feel my walls fluttering around him.

Luke’s movements become sloppy, fatigued.

After one…

two…

three more measured thrusts, Luke’s movements come to a stop. When he stills, he’s pressed as deep as he can go inside of me. With his hips flush against mine, and his head buried into my neck, Luke’s frozen position is disrupted by a shiver, and his body begins to rhythmically convulse over top of mine.

“Oh fuck!” he groans in the raspiest voice I’ve ever heard him speak.

Within a few seconds, his high is replaced by exhaustion, and I feel him relax into a deadweight on top of me.

“Shit,” I say on an exhale which morphs into a blissed-out laugh. The rush of post-orgasm endorphins sends us both into a small laughing fit.

Heat radiates off of Luke’s tired frame, and I hug him into my body once more. When I let go, Luke pushes up off of my body, and once he’s basically upright, he moves to pull out of me. The movement causes both of us to hiss from heightened sensitivity down there.

I remove Luke’s shirt from my naked chest, and locate my clothes on the floor. We take comfort in the silence that’s occasionally broken from our heavy breathing as we get dressed. What a night.

“I should get going, the last bus is probably gonna be here any minute, if I haven’t already missed it.” Luke’s head snaps up and he looks at me with a frown.

“Don’t take the bus, we can drop you off at home,” he offers, reaching out to hand me my shirt.  

“I don’t know. I don’t wanna put you or your friends in that position,” I go to take it from him, but instead of handing it over, Luke tucks my shirt behind his back.

“We’re taking you home, okay?”

“Is me saying yes the only way you’ll give me my shirt back?” I sigh after tying on my other shoe. Luke nods in apprehension.

“Okay. You can drive me home.” Luke then grins in victory and hands me my shirt.

“I’m gonna grab the boys and then we can head out.” Before he gets out of the car, Luke places one more lengthy kiss on my lips, and scrambles out of the car. I’m surprised by the kiss, I thought this was gonna be just another one of his hook ups. Is he even looking for a relationship? I’m not gonna ask. That’ll be a conversation for a different day. As I wrap up that train of thought, Luke’s resurfaced outside the car with his three bandmates behind him.

He climbs in the back seat with me, but leans over the center console to put the key in the ignition. We just finished having sex, and I still can’t keep myself from staring at his ass.

Reggie notices as he hops in the front seat.

“Hey Y/n!” He smiles sweetly as if he has no idea what we just did.

“Not the wolf blanket!” Bobby cries as he opens the door to sit in the back row with me and Luke.

“Right? That’s what I said!” My comment makes everyone laugh but Luke, who is instead, blushing like a madman.

“It’s not that bad,” he defends quietly as he sits back down and buckles into the middle seat.

“It’s pretty bad,” I say with an uncontainable smile. Luke scrunches his eyebrows together and sticks his tongue out at me. I fake pout back at him before buckling into my seat.

“Really?!” Alex whines from outside the car. Luke and I share a confused glance before turning back toward the blonde boy. As he climbs into the passenger seat, he tosses the opened box of condoms at Luke in dismay. I bite my bottom lip out of embarrassment, and stare out the window to avoid any unwanted glances from the boys.

“I’d offer you shotgun so you could help me navigate the way to your house, but Alex refused to sit in the back,” Reggie laughs a little bit as he places his hand behind Alex’s headrest, and backs out of the parking spot.

“It’s fine. I can see pretty well from back here.”

“I’ll minimize any and all distraction from lover boy here,” Bobby only half-teases, nudging Luke’s shoulder.

“Thanks. I’ll need all the help I can get with this one,” I say, reaching up to try and tame Luke’s post-sex hair. Alex begins to crank down his window when he speaks, which prompts Luke and I to share an embarrassed look as we stifle our laughter,

“It smells so bad in here, oh my god.”

***

A/n: be gentle bc this is kinda the first full on smut I've ever written?? It was hard (no pun intended) and I had to walk away like three times while writing bc I got so flustered. Lol, hope y’all enjoyed reading this mini series as much as I enjoyed writing it. On to the next!!

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13 @kaitlyn2907 @itz-jas @crybabyddl @kcd15 @kinda-really-lost @thesweetestsinner @imsydneywalker @lovesanimals​ @thebloodthirstyvampress​ @bumbleberry-pie​ @losers-club6​

[thewriterowl]

Was thinking the other day about a Dinluke AU in which Luke, while having spent Highschool hiding behind too large clothes and thick glasses to try and disappear from everyone’s radar, actually starts to feel better about himself once he starts college and is not known as “that orphan missing a hand” anymore. His final growth spurt and summer spent working in a farm helped a ton too. It would have been an all win, if his crush of 4 years had recognized him and not asked for his name on orientation day, breaking his heart in the process since they literally shared almost all of their classes during the last four years.

haha ow

Oh look my heart is cracking into tiny pieces.

I love that. Now Luke is finding a lot of his, tiny amount, confidence starting to break down a bit. Din wouldn't understand why Luke seemed so off at times with him and why he wants to hide his past from him, but Din doesn't push. Then some dickhead from their old school finds Din and then Luke and starts commenting, "it's farm-hand Skywalker! Oh my god, did you actually grow? Nah, not really. Still short. You're a cutie now, though. Makes me feel bad when we talked about your parents dropping your ass at some sweatshop. Man, I was an ass, haha, what are you doing tonight?"

Luke is mortified and it all really clicks with Din and oh no...

He feels like such an ass.

[lesducks]

Britgate fic, innit?

Pls why has my life come to this

“C’mon bruv he won’t even know iss’us,” Reggie adjusted his hood so it covered his face and stuck his hands in his pockets.

The four boys were loitering in an alleyway, down the side of the train station, a crowd of kids bustling past the alley entrance.

“I dunno,” Luke looked around at the front of the corner shop, “Remember what ‘appened last time mate?”

“Yeh yeh, but that won’t happen this time,” Reggie assured him, “I bet he’s forgot by now, right. We’ll be fine, g, promise.”

“If we get chased down the high street again I’m blamin’ you lot,” Bobby grumbled, from where he was leaning against a half-destroyed brick wall.

“I just won’t come into the shop,” Alex said, “But you have fun, chaps!”

Alex made to leave when Luke grabbed him by the hood.

“We all go in or none of us go in,” Luke reminded him.

“God, fine, if you insist,” Alex sighed, “Reggie has to open the door though.”

“Oi!”

“Well, I’m not going first!”

“I’ll go first, alreyt?” Luke stepped in between them.

“Now, we gotta be quick before the school rush ends, lads,” Reggie said.

“We’ve wasted too much time jabberin’ on anyways,” Luke replied.

“Well less’go now then, bruv,” Reggie replied.

The boys huddled together, all wearing hoods pulled tight and obscuring their faces, and shuffled over to Covington’s corner shop.

It was well visited by kids after school, just before the train pulled in, but, unfortunately, the boys had been given a ‘permanent ban’. According to Caleb they were “unruly, disruptive thieves who brought chaos to his business”, whatever that meant.

As they slipped in through the door, the familiar beeping sounded from above them, and they flinched. Luckily, Caleb was distracted with some others at the counter, rustling through the register for coins.

“Aw, man, here it is,” Reggie murmured, reaching for a pack of Caleb’s original gum, flavours you couldn’t find anywhere else.

“Just slip it in ya pocket and leave,” Luke said.

“Is that it?” Bobby sniffed.

“You got a fuckin problem with it, mate?” Reggie gave Bobby a light shove on his shoulder, “This gum is absolutely bangin’.”

“I’m going to get a drink,” Alex sighed, moving past them to open the fridge of drinks.

“Yeh but be quick so we can do a runner, alright?”

“Yeah yeah,” Alex reached over a year seven to grab a coke from the shelves, then let the heavy door slam shut.

“Make sure you pay for that, boys.” A voice came from the counter immediately after the bang of the closing door, causing Alex to jump. The boys turned around and-

“Great,” Reggie muttered. Caleb Covington, owner of the shop, dressed head to toe in a sickening purple stood at the counter, eyeing the boys.

“‘He’s forgot by now’, my arse,” Bobby muttered.

Reggie elbowed him. “Shut up mate,” he hissed. “Luke, get out ya wallet.”

“Hey, I ‘aven’t even bought anything!” Luke protested.

“Well I didn’t bring any money!”

“Thas’ your own fault then innit?”

“I’ll give ya some of this gum if you pay.”

“What if we just run out the shop?” Bobby added in.

“He’s seen us now, let’s just pay,” Alex said, then walked up to the counter.

“Afternoon,” Alex said timidly, placing his bottle and two pounds on the counter.

Caleb raised an eyebrow. “No service,” he said pushing the coins back across to Alex with the tip of his finger.

“What?” Alex spluttered, “Why on earth-?”

Caleb said nothing but pointed to a pin board behind the counter. Plastered over the cork, the four boys’ faces were printed out in black and white onto paper. And underneath, in big, bulky, red font: BANNED

“Oh…” Alex said, his voice small, “Well that’s new, isn’t it?”

“Get. Out.” Caleb smiled threateningly wide, “And leave anything you picked up.”

Alex turned to his friends, Bobby putting his gum back onto the display. Reggie had his hands behind his back suspiciously. Alex lowered his eyebrows at Reggie, who shrugged, his eyes not meeting Alex’s.

“Go, now,” Caleb repeated. Before they could leave, he stopped Reggie with a cane - who has a bloody cane? - and wouldn’t let him pass until he fished the gum packet out of his pocket and put it back on the shelf. A group of year eight kids watching giggled.

“Alright, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Reggie said, walking out of the shop, “Ya bloody nonce,” he added, as soon as they were out of earshot.

“Well we’re screwed,” Bobby said as they stood around aimlessly in front of the shop, not ready to leave yet.

“Nah, we just gotta find someone else to go in for us, ya get me?” Reggie said.

“Who?” Alex asked, “If Caleb knows they know us he won’t let them in.”

“So it’s gotta be someone who knows us but Caleb doesn’t know they know us?”

“They have t’know us and know what t’get in tuh shop AND know Caleb can’t know that he doesn’t know they know us,” Luke said, as if that simplified anything.

“So they have to know that he knows-” Reggie started.

“Please stop,” Bobby cut him off. Reggie and Luke sniggered.

“I can’t believe that wanker got our faces up an’ everyfing,” Reggie said disbelievingly, “I mean, I know we’re well peng,” Reggie placed a hand over his heart dramatically, “But c’mon? I thought that permanent ban was a bloody exaggeration! He’s such a prick.”

“We did kinda ruin some of his stock though,” Luke reminded Reggie.

“Yeah and it was a fucking accident, wasn’it?”

“What was an accident?”

The boys jumped as a result of a sudden voice for the second time that day.

“Julie!” Luke exclaimed, breaking into a smile. Reggie rolled his eyes.

“Oh you guys got banned from Caleb’s shop, right?” Flynn asked, then laughed.

“Oi, it’s not funny bruv!” Reggie said, crossing his arms.

“It’s kinda funny,” Willie said apologetically.

“Speak fo’ yourself,” Luke muttered.

“Can’t you just go to another shop?” Flynn asked sceptically, “There’s one literally over there, right?”

“Yehyehyeh,” Reggie waved his hands as he tried to explain, “But Covingboy’s got this really good flavour gum, right? And ya can’t get it anywhere else…”

Julie sighed, guessing where Reggie was going with this. “Want us to go in and get it for you?”

“Would ya, luv?” Reggie answered.

“You gotta pay me back though,” Julie said.

“I’ll come too,” Willie added, “Get a drink or something.”

“Would you mind popping in and getting a drink for me, too?” Alex asked quickly.

“‘Course mate!” Willie replied. Alex smiled, adjusting his hands in his pockets awkwardly. The other three disappeared into the shop.

Apparently, it was not a good idea to discuss their top secret plan to get goods from Caleb in front of the window to the corner shop. Less than two minutes later, Julie, Flynn and Willie had been kicked out of the shop, looking thoroughly disgruntled.

“Well, we tried,” Willie shrugged. The boys groaned. “I also got told I have an extra shift at the pub this Friday night.”

“Oh right, he owns a pub too doesn’e?” Reggie asked, “Bloody rich dickhead.”

“So why’s ‘e so fussed about us?” Luke threw up his hands.

“We gotta get a backup,” Bobby said, “Really reach for someone nice enough to do this, but also someone we never ever talk to ever.”

“‘Ave you been to our school? Who the fuck’s nice enough to do anything for anyone?” Luke asked.

“Well that’s why I said to bloody think about it, innit?” Bobby shot back.

“Fine, fine,” Luke resigned, “We’ll reconvene at school tomorrow and fink of another way.”

“Can’t believe I’m having to go this long without some of that gum,” Reggie complained.

“You know you can just go to another shop,” Julie said.

“No!” The boys responded in unison.

“This is a fuckin personal attack, right?” Reggie said, “So we can’t give up cuz that’s bloody pathetic!”

“I…” Julie started, then gave up, “Y’know just, okay, if you guys are happy.”

“Jules, we’re gonna miss the train,” Flynn said, checking her phone.

“Right,” they left, Willie going with them, “See you guys tomorrow!”

“I should probably get my train too, lads,” Alex said, following after them. “Later!”

“Alex, wait up!” Luke half-jogged to catch up with him.

“You gettin’ a train too?” Reggie asked Bobby after a while.

“Nah, waiting for my sister to finish drama club and getting picked up.”

“A pick up? Alright you fancy sod,” Reggie smirked. He knew Bobby would get a ride in one of his dad’s pristine cars back to their bloody huge house.

“You got a ride home?” Bobby asked.

“Yeh, bus,” Reggie pointed over the road to the bus stop.

“Right.”

“Right!”

The boys stood in silence for a while. Reggie searched his brain for something to say but all it was coming up with was ‘Bobby looks well fit today’. Bloody useless.

“Well, keep thinking about possible candidates for master gum smuggler,” Reggie said after a while, giving Bobby a playful shove on his back.

“Will do, mate.” Bobby reached out his hand to shake Reggie’s, in a casual farewell. Reggie tried not to stare at where their hands touched, Bobby’s warm and comforting against his.

As he walked to the bus stop, he wondered how visible his blushing had been.

[morningfears]

Hiking

Rating: PG-13 (Language, mostly)

Summary: College!Luke and hiking for the 10k celebration. 

Word Count: 2.1k (...this was supposed to be a drabble, whoops)

“Tell me why we’re doing this again.”

You listened to the crunch of gravel beneath Luke’s feet, a signal that he was rounding the car to meet you at the trunk, and bit back a laugh as you reached for the extra water bottle you’d packed because you knew that he was going to forget his own. He’d been whining since you picked him up, a pout on his lips and sunglasses perched on his nose, and you knew that he’d stop the moment you truly got annoyed with him.

For now, though, you were enjoying making fun of him just as much as he was whining.

“It was my turn to pick our activity. I like to hike.” You pressed the bottle into his hands, a saccharine smile on your lips, before you closed the trunk and shrugged. “I also like to see you miserable.”

He turned his head toward you, bright blue eyes hidden by the sunglasses he’d snagged from you years ago, and scowled. “You owe me pancakes for this. It’s so early.”

“It’s nearly ten, Luke.” He waved a hand dismissively when you scoffed, unashamed of his status as the late riser in your friendship, and leaned against the car to take a sip of his water. “Don’t drink too much. If you puke on me, I will murder you. No one will find your body up here.”

Luke snorted at that, his hands moving to tighten the cap on his water bottle before he waved them at the nearly full parking area. “There are literally fifty other people on this trail right now. Someone would find me.”

“Shut up and start moving, yeah?”

Luke breathed an exaggerated sigh and made a show of dragging his feet, sending dust and rocks flying in his wake, but followed you toward the trail. He was joking - that much he made clear when he cracked a grin at your laughter - and you knew that he had no intentions of making the hike miserable for either of you. He was annoyed to be awake so early on his only day off but there was no one he’d rather spend the day with.

And, besides, it wasn’t the first time he’d gone hiking with you.

The first time Luke went hiking with you, you were both freshmen in college and equally shy. You were a friend of a friend of a friend - Ashton was dating your roommate’s older sister - and had somehow gotten roped into going hiking with the group of them. It was Ashton’s idea, to drag all of you out to the middle of nowhere right before fall break, and Luke had only tagged along because Calum and Michael dragged him.

While you weren’t exactly the most social of the bunch, it was clear that you and Ashton were the only ones who’d actually hiked before. Whereas everyone else showed up in black, wearing various old band t-shirts and, in Michael’s bad judgement and mildly hungover case, jeans, the two of you wore actual gym gear and appropriate shoes. 

Luke quickly fell to the back of the pack, happy to be away from the chatter and the attention as he struggled up the mountain, and somewhere along the trip, you fell back with him. He knew that you were capable of beating them all up the mountain - and probably back down, if he had to wager a guess - but you kept pace with him and never even made a face at the sweat that made his t-shirt stick to his skin.

You were halfway up the mountain before either of you spoke - to everyone’s surprise, it was him; he complimented the All Time Low sticker on your water bottle - but it seemed as if neither of you knew how to shut up after that moment.

Your friendship formed quickly, bolstered by your commonalities and strengthened by your differences. If you weren’t in class or at work, you were at Luke’s. And if you weren’t there, the pair of you could usually be found elsewhere together.

When he moved into a frat house and you moved into an apartment, nothing changed. The brothers knew you, just as your roommates knew him, but your nearly nightly outings - to diners, to the movies, to the mall, to the park near campus - shifted to once a week activities that you took turns planning once you both delved deeper into your respective majors.

Luke was your best friend, just as you were his, and you were grateful for the strange hike that brought him into your life. That was, however, to everyone’s surprise, all that you were.

You had a small crush on Luke when you met - even drenched in sweat and struggling to keep himself upright, trudging up the side of a mountain he was cute - but the more you got to know him, the greater your crush grew. He was everything you’d always wanted, all wrapped in an adorable package, but you told yourself early on that you weren’t going to push; whatever happened with Luke, happened.

You knew, deep down, that Luke felt the same. You saw the way that he looked at you when he thought you weren’t looking. You saw the way he blushed when you complimented him or the way he grew flustered whenever anyone pointed out how cute the two of you would be together. Neither of you hid your feelings well but you were content to see where things went.

You always said that you’d rather have him in your life as just a friend than not at all.

Your line of thinking had recently undergone a bit of a shift. You were both approaching your senior year; two semesters away from the great unknown. Luke had plans to stay in the city and work for a record company. You were weighing your options to continue your education and considering leaving to give life elsewhere a shot.

It hurt, thinking that you’d be separated from Luke after so long of him being your only constant, but you knew that you either needed to make a move or move on.

“Alright, you haven’t said a word in almost a mile. Stop thinking, start talking.”

Luke’s words, said through huffs of air forced past his lips, broke you from your thoughts and you blinked when you noticed just how far down the trail you’d made it. You were glad you’d chosen one so familiar - the one you hiked the first time you met and found yourself returning to, time and time again - as you’d mostly relied on muscle memory to make it this far.

“Nothing to talk about. Just stressing over that Media Law final. Baker’s a dickhead and is going to make it unnecessarily difficult.” You knew that you should tell Luke the truth, spill your worries as you normally did, but you couldn’t force the words out.

It was easier this way, to continue on as you had for the past few years, and pretend that the heartache blossoming in your chest wasn’t real.

“Bullshit.” Luke stopped, nudged you to the side of the trail to let others pass, and met your eyes to search them. “That was your sad face. Baker gets the mad face. What’s up? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“Of course I do, Luke.” The words fell past your lips readily, confident and clear, because you knew that. You knew that you could talk to Luke about absolutely anything and he would be there to listen. You knew that he’d never judge or laugh, not if it was a serious discussion, and that helped calm the raging sea of emotions in the pit of your stomach.

But nothing could quell the ache that settled in your bones when he looked at you the way he was.

He had a habit of looking at you like you were the one who hung the stars and moon. His eyes, usually unfocused as he zoned out, were clear and bright and shining with an admiration that rolled off him in waves. Whenever he looked at you like that, right in the eye, he always had a hand on you in some way. This time, he had one hand on your shoulder and the other cupping your cheek.

“What happens next May?”

Luke blinked, confused by the question. “Next May? After graduation?” When you nodded, your eyes flicking between his own and the sand beneath your feet, he shifted his weight and nodded slowly. “I’m staying here and you… You’re going to do something amazing. You might stay here, you might move to fucking Siberia. But whatever you do, you’re going to do it well because that’s just the kind of person you are, honey. You can’t half-ass anything, even if you try.”

Luke grinned when that got a small laugh but it was quickly replaced with a frown when you shook your head. “That’s not what I meant.” You trailed off, almost embarrassed to ask, before the words escaped your lips in a near whisper. “What happens to us?”

That was a question Luke had long considered. He, too, wondered what would happen to you both as you moved into the working world and farther away from one another. He wondered what would happen if you left the city. He wondered how he would continue on without seeing you every day.

And he realized that he didn’t want that.

“We’ll still be us,” he answered finally, his voice just as quiet as yours had been. “We’ll see each other every minute we can and if you decide to go somewhere else, we’ll FaceTime so much that we might as well just livestream our lives to each other. If you leave, I’ll come visit whenever I can and you know you’ll always have a place to stay with me if you want to come back. Nothing will change for us after graduation because I love you and I won’t let it.”

Before you could speak, before you could ask him if he really believed that was possible, Luke continued speaking.

“You know that I mean that in every sense of the word. You’re my best friend and I love you but you know that I also love you with a  capital ‘L’. Being friends with you is something I’d never change but I don’t want to spend our last guaranteed year together wondering what could be. I don’t want to just dream about kissing you, I want to actually kiss you. I want to wake up to you asking me to go hiking and kiss you to convince you to stay in bed. I want to hold your hand and wake up beside you every morning. I want to be the annoying couple everyone already thinks we are because it’s us. And it always has been.”

It felt as if a weight was lifted from your chest as Luke rambled, words spilling past his lips in a rush. He was passionate, certain, and braver than you ever could be. He took the first step, just when you were beginning to think neither of you would ever make it there, and the only way you could think to respond was with a kiss.

Pressing your lips to Luke’s didn’t send fireworks erupting across the sky nor did it feel as if the earth was going to shatter at your feet. It did, however, feel as if you were exactly where you were meant to be. You were wrapped in his arms, hands tangled in his curls, and nothing had ever felt more right.

You were upset that you’d wasted so much time, waiting for life to just happen. But, as you pulled away and rested your forehead against Luke’s, you decided that nothing else mattered anymore. The future, the one where you and Luke existed and everything else came as it would, was all that mattered.

Luke, with his bright grin and flushed cheeks, grabbed your hand and began tugging you back the way you’d come. With a laugh, you dug your heels into the ground and shook your head. “Nope. Finish hike first. Then, we go to my place and shower.”

“You’re going to make your boyfriend hike two more miles?”

“For every half mile you finish, I’ll give you a kiss.”

“Make it every quarter and I get to touch your butt.”

“Shut up and start hiking, Hemmings.”

With another grin in your direction, Luke returned his sunglasses to the bridge of his nose and kept his hand in yours as he tugged you along down the path. In the future, there would be more hikes and more kisses.

And neither of you could wait.

___________________________________

Author’s Note: ....there’s not as much hiking in this as I wanted but I got started and it, uh, had a mind of its own. Anyway, two fics in like a week? Who am I?

[yeetingmyfeeling]

Run, Run, Run!

Chapter Five

Everyone had begun eating, and loud chatter filled the room. It was comforting, in a sense. Though the blanket was going to break soon enough.

“These meatballs are so good!” Jarren mumbled through a mouthful of food. He was sat directly across from Brian, John on his left. On his right was Ryan and Luke.

John rolled his eyes at the pale boy. “Eat with your mouth closed,” Jarren swallowed his food and stuck his tongue out. The elder went to stab it with his fork, making the younger squeal.

“You know Evan, instead of doing whatever you were going to do,” Anthony pointed at Evan with his fork, then at John and Jarren. “Remember you have two literal children already,” The two shouted their protests, making the table laugh. 

“No wonder I’m already getting wrinkles,” Jon sighed over dramatically, pressing a hand to his forehead. “I’ve been babying two overgrown men.”

“There there dear,” Evan patted Jon’s thigh. “There’s ointment for that.”

“You’re supposed to say I don’t have wrinkles, dickhead!” Jon swatted Evan’s chest. “You bet I’m killing you soon, old man. For your fucking money.”

“I always knew Jon was a gold digger,” Marcel chuckled. “Scott, cough up the tenner.”

“Eat my ass Marcel,” Scotty shoved spaghetti into his mouth. 

“Take me on a date first,” Marcel rolled his eyes jokingly.

“I wouldn’t take your bitchy ass on a date,” Scotty swallowed the spaghetti in his mouth, coughing slightly. Marcel asked who he would on the table. Scotty looked around. “Brian.”

“Me?” Brian tilted his head, and a light blush coated his cheeks. He knew this was just a stupid joke, but the sentiment was nice. No one ever really wants to take him out on a date

“Oh so, you’ll take Brian but not me?” David was offended. “We’re the same! Both irish, and cute.”

“You’re not cute,” Tyler snorted, now a part of this conversation. It seemed everyone was watching this interaction now. “Brian is cute though, and his accent just sounds better. At least it sounds like he’s speaking mostly english.”

David scoffs loudly. He looks at Brian, who was sitting awkwardly next to him. Both because nerves, and the two mens long legs squished his own. “Brian,” Brian looked at David in question. “Do you think I’m cute?”

Brian stuttered for a second. “I- um, yeah,” Was what he managed to get it out. “You’re very cute David!”

David grinned, feeling something swirl in his chest. He went to say something, but Scotty interrupted him. “Yeah yeah, whatever. Brian, since you’re the cutest out of everyone here. Come on a date with me?” John, Ryan and Luke knew what he was doing. Brian had a hunch. 

Brian was stuttering again, but David spoke first. “Sorry, he’s busy going on a date with me,” He stated firmly.

Brian heard a growl to his left, and he was sure the only other person who heard that was Anthony, on Tyler’s other side. “Who says he has time to go on a date with you? Our date takes up a lot of time, so he’ll be with me.”

Brain could feel his face burning. He did not want to be a part of this conversation! So he just busied himself with his food. 

People moved on from that conversation, and were now talking in their own little groups. Brian was the only person sitting there quietly. He silently ate his food, admiring how good it actually tasted. Brian had cooked a few times, but not many.

He lifted his head up to look around the room. He felt like this was his new family. Although he felt some major attractiction from the two men currently squishing his legs, everyone else felt like brothers.

John and Jarren were in a heated conversation with David, something about realistic food. Brian didn’t understand it. Luke and Ryan were talking to Marcel and Scorry. Luke had an arm over Ryan’s shoulders, eating with only one hand. Tyler was talking to Anthony, and Brock was talking with Evan and Jon.

Brian still felt out of place a little bit. He wasn’t here as long as the rest of them, and he came from another pack. On those really bad nights, Brian swore he could still smell the old pack on him. This made him shiver.

He finished off his beer, noticing he finished it off quickly from his nerves. It made him feel warm, but he was nowhere near drunk. Maybe another night.

He heard the conversation to his right, and noticed David was now eating his food. John and Jarren talking to each other. Brian smiled, he could tell they had a thing for one another. Brian turned to David and poked his foot with his own.

David lifted his head, spaghetti dangling from his lip. Brian laughed and David quickly slurped it up with a blush. He wiped his chin and chewed at the food. “What’s up?” He asked after he swallowed the food.

“I was wondering if you could help teach me how to cook? Since you’re the big cook of the house,” Brian asked. “I sort of know how to cook, but nothing like.. This.”

“I don’t usually cook at home, maybe once every two weeks,” David stabbed at a meatball. “But I can help teach you. Actually,” He quickly ate the meatball then turned to Brian. “Did you want to go on a date? We can go to this cafe. The restaurant I work at partners with them, and we get bread for them. So it’s more like a bakery. It’s really good though, it would be nice,” David kept going on a tangent, nervous. 

Brian’s face was warm, but he had a giddy smile threatening to break. “That sounds good David,” Brian finally spoke. “I’d like that,” He mumbled. David smiled. 

David would have said something else, only he was interrupted once again. By Tyler. “A date?” He asked, and it sounded quite angry. He huffed loudly. Brian heard Anthony say something, making Tyler wave him off. “Bri, wanna go to the bar with me Friday night? I can get Anthony to give us a secluded table.”

Brian flushed even more. “Wha- I-,” That giddy grin was starting to come out. “I’d love to go to the bar with you.”

“So on Sunday, you’ll come to the cafe with me?” David asked, bringing Brian’s attention back to him. “They close at two, so maybe we could do brunch?”

Brian nodded quickly. “Brunch sounds nice, I’ll have to set lots of alarms,” He laughed, making David laugh as well.

“I’ll work on Friday, but we can still get there before it gets too busy,” Brian turned back to Tyler. “I get off early anyway on Friday’s.”

“That’s handy,” Brian grinned. “Maybe around six thirty we could get there?” Tyler seemed to agree with him.

Brian heard a huff next to him, and saw David shoving another meatball in his mouth. Looking at Tyler, he was smirking as he finished off his bear. Oh boy, what did Brian just get himself into. He looked up, and John winked at him. Ryan made the sex movements with his hands, and Luke pushed his mates hands down.

Brian’s face turned even more red, if that was even possible. He was sure he looked like a tomato at this point. 

“So Brian,” Brian knew from Scotty’s tone, he was about to start something ugly. “I think you’re the cutest at the table, and you said David is cute. But who do you really think is the cutest?”

All eyes were on him again, and he could have let out a whimper. He suppressed that classic omega noise and stared at his plate. He did not want to make accidental eye contact with someone. 

He would say Jon, but Evan would get pissy. Maybe Brock? He has been one of the nicest thus far. Brian really knew who was the cutest, but didn’t know if that answer was allowed.

“Am I allowed to say two people?” Scotty shook his head. Brain frowned, seriously considering his options. He sighed. “Brock is the cutest.”

“Yes! I knew the charm would work!” Brock joked and everyone laughed. Except for a certain beta, and a certain alpha. Brock noticed this and his lips quirked up in a smirk. Aside from the couples, who does everyone else think is the cutest?” John and Jarren said each other's name. “You two are basically a couple, hush.”

Anthony answered Brock. Marcel answered Scotty, Scotty kept with his answer of Brian. Brock said Marcel. David and Tyler were quiet. Brain felt the tension, and went to joke about how Brock didn’t think he was cute back when Tyler spoke up.

His voice was thick and heavy, and it sent a shiver down Brian’s back. “I think Bri is the cutest,” He answered. “Especially with those diamond eyes.”

Brian heard a grunt from the beta. “Bri is the cutest, he beats all your asses,” David tried to match Tyler’s voice, so his accent was thick. “He’s cute in every way. Look at him blush.”

Everyone could feel the tension seeping from the beta and alpha that sat beside the nervous omega. Brian looked at the people across from him with pleading eyes, but they just shook their head. They were trying not to laugh. 

Tyler wrapped an arm around Brian’s shoulder, and the omega immediately tensed up. He wasn’t prepared for the sudden contact. David noticed first.

“Hey, get your hand off him,” David pushed Tyler’s arm off Brian’s shoulder. “He was clearly uncomfortable with that.”

Tyler scoffed, shaking out his arm. “Were you uncomfortable Bri?” Brian shook his head slowly, looking down at his lap. “See, dude, it was fine.”

“Brian you’re allowed to speak up,” David placed a gentle hand over Brian’s that rested on the table. “Just because he’s an alpha, doesn’t mean you have to put up with him being a bitch.”

Brian blushed, his arm twitching from the touch. That’s when Tyler leaned over, harshly grabbing David’s hand and pushing him away. He nearly fell out of the chair. “Uncomfortable, remember,” Tyler mocked.

“Tyler! You act like such a child!” David groaned. “Stop being petty.”

“I am not being petty, alphas don’t get petty.”

“Alphas are some of the most petty people I know. Maybe you’re upset because I got to Brian first, but maybe if you weren’t such a dick at the beginning.”

“Not upset. You haven’t even gotten to him yet, you asked him on a date, that hasn’t happened!”

“You are upset! And at least I asked first, I was also kinder, not a cunt.”

“I’ll show you a cunt.”

Tyler stood up quickly, the chair going back. David stood up as well, eyeing the slightly taller male. Brian sat in between the two, alarm bells ringing. He looked at both of them, knowing he should say something. He was too scared. He looked around the table. The two other alphas seemed ready to jump in if necessary, but otherwise, they just sat and watched.

“Tyler, you have always been such a moody bitch,” David rolled up the sleeves of his sweater. “Since day one. You use the fact you’re an alpha to scare everyone, and you don’t care when it genuinely hurts people. You’re never nice, never say thank you or sorry. You need a reality check mate.”

Tyler glared at the other. “Oh get off your high horse, you were no piece of cake either,” Tyler pulled off his flannel, laying it over the back of his chair. “I remember when you first came here and Brock tried to help you. You nearly ripped his damn eye out.”

“I was scared and angry! What the fuck did you expect me to do!?”

“Not attack him!”

“Oh I’m sorry, who’s talking again? How many fights did you get in with Evan?”

“They were reasonable.”

“Stupid alpha fights.”

“They were pretty stupid,” Evan muttered, only to be slapped over the back of his head by his mate. Evan just snickered.

“Fine, David. Have it your way.”

“My way?”

Tyler stepped forward, and his fist collided with David’s cheek. Brain yelped standing up and pushing back into the table. David stumbled back, a hand coming up to rub his jaw. He knew he wasn’t going to win this fight. Tyler was trained, and a strong alpha. David was no weak beta.

David went forward, sending his own punch into Tyler’s gut. Tyler had little to know reaction, grabbing David’s wrist and twisting. David scowled, sending a leg into Tyler’s knee. This got a reaction, and the alpha bent slightly. David brought his knee up, slamming it into Tyler’s bottom jaw. He yanked his wrist away and pushed his other fist into Tyler’s chest. This caused Tyler to stumble back.

All while, Brian was gripping to the table. His eyes were wide with fear, and his breathing had picked up, his heart hammering in his chest. His knuckles were turning white, whimpers falling from his lips without him knowing.  

Brock rushed over, standing in front of Brian. Brian couldn’t help but reach out and cling to the back of his shirt. The two were still fighting. Throw kicks, punches and insults.

Anthony stood up and stood between the two, trying to push them away. He got a kick to the hip, and a punch to the jaw. Accidentally, but he didn’t budge. Luke came over next, wrapping his arms around the betas skinny waist and lifting him up, taking a few steps back. Evan was in charge of Tyler, and simply went about grabbing the collar of his shirt and forcing him back. This caused Tyler to on to his knees. He knew his alpha was the one holding him back, so knew to stay put.

The two were breathing heavily, glaring each other down. Anthony took a step back, standing next to Brock. Brian poked his head out over Brock’s shoulder, staring at the two angry males. Evan cleared his throat, going to speak. Only his mate was the one to talk.

“What are you two ididots doing!?” Jon shouted, walking to stand between the two. “Fighting? Actually fist fighting? At the fucking dinner table! Ryan spent all this time cooking for us, and although it was mainly for Luke, he was down in the kitchen since midday trying to make this right. Now you two knobheads have to come along and completely ruin it!”

“What Jon is trying to say, is that we are disappointed,” Evan’s tone voiced how everyone felt. “We are family, and we have all gone through a lot together. You both have gone through a lot, and it’s okay to have pent up anger, but fighting is not the way to solve it.”

“It’s my fault,” Brain spoke up with a frown. “I-I’m in the way, I’m the reason they started arguing.”

“No Brian,” Brock tried to reassure the omega. “It’s not your fault.”

“But it is!” Brian tried to argue, his voice cracking.

“Look what your fighting has done!” Jon yelled. “Brian is going to cry!” The two heads snap to Brian’s direction. He sunk down, hiding behind Brock again, sniffling. “Luke, Evan, please take the two to their rooms. They can stay there until they calm the fuck down.”

“Who put you as boss?” Evan asked with a smirk. Jon raised an eyebrow at him. Evan just rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” He yanked at the back of Tyler’s shirt. Tyler got the idea and stood up. Evan let go, and led them out of the room. Tyler looked at Brian one last time, guilt swimming in his eyes.

After a minute or two, Luke put the lanky Irishman down. David brushed off his middle, only to be shoved by the larger. “Gonna act tough, treat you tough,” David just snorted. He gave Brian a sad smile, then the two left the room. 

“Desert anyone?” Jon asked the room. 

[kaleidoscopeminds]

I’m going blind from this sweet craving

This came about because I wanted to write some Cake and my brain just went bakery!!! au!!!! Anyway this is very self-indulgent and driven by my own baking obsession. Please enjoy 6k of me talking about cake (literally) and a cheeky bit of side mashton because I couldn’t resist. For the club because everything I do is for the club <3

Warnings: horribly tooth rotting fluff, too many baking metaphors

Title from Cake by the Ocean by DNCE because I think I’m funny

Luke places the last piece of broken Oreo carefully atop the whirl of buttercream and wipes his hands on his apron, reviewing the set of cupcakes in front of him. He knows he’s hypercritical of his own work; he gets called a perfectionist by Michael at any opportunity (and not in a complimentary way), but he still maintains that it’s the only way to be to make anything good.

 He deems this double dozen of the Oreo chocolate as close to perfect as he’s going to manage this morning and slides them next to the strawberries and cream set with mini meringue topping he just finished. He goes to the walk-in refrigerator and pulls out the layer cake that he made before he left yesterday, and then crosses over to dry storage to wheel out the trolley containing the carefully wrapped crates of bread that Ashton, their bread supplier, had dropped off about an hour ago. 

He pulls the trays of croissants, pain au chocolat and pain aux raisins out of the oven deftly, and slides them onto a cooling rack to leave for a couple of minutes, before he can transfer them to the cabinet in the front of the bakery, and checks the clock. It’s 6:40, so he’s just on time to get everything stacked up in the front if he has a bit of help. 

He hears the door at the front of the cafe slam, handle jangling ominously as it closes again and Luke smiles to himself, grabbing the trays of cupcakes and heading out into the front, opening the swing door with his hip.

“Hi Mikey,” Luke calls over as Michael struggles out of his jacket, pushing his glasses up onto his nose and grumbling incoherently.

“I’m not late,” Michael starts, attempting to pull his apron out of his backpack and hang up his jacket on the hook at the same time.

Luke doesn’t say anything, just turns his head to look deliberately at the large clock hanging over the coffee machine behind the counter and raises his eyebrows, smiling slightly.

“Well, barely,” Michael responds defensively. “You’re not the boss of me, Luke Hemmings.”

Luke laughs, “Unfortunately for you, I am. Supervising baker remember?” He opens up the display cabinet and slides the cakes carefully into place.

“Promotions gone to your overly large blonde head already, I see,” Michael says, struggling with his apron ties where they’ve got tangled around his belt.

Luke laughs again and goes over to Michael, untangling him and turning him round to tie his apron for him. “Go and drink your coffee Mikey, I made one for you about 10 minutes ago, should still be hot. I’ll get the rest of the stuff out to the front.”

“I think I’m in love with you,” Michael says genuinely, quickly walking behind the counter and finding the insulated travel mug Luke had filled with a latte earlier that morning. He pulls off the lid and Luke watches him practically inhale it, smiling fondly as he makes his way back into the kitchen.

“Remind me again why I always seem to be making coffee for you when you’re the trained barista?” Luke calls out as he carefully lifts the 4 layered cake onto a stand and carries it back out to the front.

“Ooh that looks fucking good what’s in that?” Michael asks, eyes lighting up at the sight of the cake in Luke’s careful grip. “And it's because you won’t admit it but you’re in love with me too,” He adds, putting his coffee down so he can take the cake off Luke to put on top of the cabinet.

“Chocolate hazelnut with Nutella and praline,” Luke replies with a smile. “Sorry to disappoint you Michael but we would never work, I couldn’t be with someone who hates mornings,” He says solemnly as he returns to the kitchen, lightly checking the pastries to make sure they’re cool enough before tipping them onto another tray.

“You’re going to be on your own for a while then!” Luke hears Michael call, and he laughs as he comes back through the swing door. “No one likes mornings,” Michael continues crabbily, downing the rest of his coffee in one gulp. 

“You know who does like mornings?” Luke asks as he passes over the tray to Michael. “Our lovely bread baker.”

Michael blushes and ducks his head at the mention of Ashton. “Why don’t you ask him out then,” He grumbles, lining the pastries up neatly with the tongs in his hand. 

“Not my type.” Luke wiggles his eyebrows at Michael. “Plus I think he might be more interested in barista types than cake-making types.”

“Shut up Luke,” Michael groans back. “I’ve told you before, he barely knows who I am. I only see the man for about 5 minutes every day when he comes to pick up the crates.”

“And yet every morning. I have to tell him that ‘No Michael’s not here yet, sorry,’” Luke smirks. “Honestly Mikey, you’re missing out not being here at half past five, lots of Ashton content.”

“Yes but that would involve, you know, being here at half past five,” Michael replies sarcastically. “Did Em make any tarts for today?” He asks. 

“Yeah they look great, she’s done a new orange curd one with chocolate pastry which I’m excited to try.” Luke accepts the change of subject and goes back towards the kitchen. “Do you want to come and grab your boyfriend’s bread? Think that’ll be the last of it then.”

Michael glares at Luke and pretends to trip him up as he walks past, then follows him into the back.

“You’re such a dickhead sometimes you know that,” Michael says grumpily, pulling out the loaves of bread and stacking them on the counter.

Luke laughs, it’s too easy to get a rise out of Michael, particularly first thing in the morning and especially when it comes to Ashton. He opens the fridge again and as always sends a silent thank you to the angel that is Em, their evening baker, and the only reason they’re able to produce enough goods for the cafe. It honestly changed his life when his boss decided to employ an extra baker, now he can actually leave when the cafe closes; she picks up anything that Luke doesn’t manage to finish, as well as shaping the pastries to chill overnight and producing a few dozen tarts for the next day. He checks the new orange curd tarts and their customer favourite, the strawberry ones (perfect as always), and slides them off the shelves. 

“You were literally declaring your love for me not 10 minutes ago I believe,” Luke says, checking the fridge to make sure he’s not missed anything. 

He turns around frowning at the lack of a bitchy response, but Michael’s distracted by something in one of the crates. 

“You okay there?” Luke questions.

“Yes,” Michael mumbles, blushing furiously, attempting to pull the crate out of Luke’s view. Luke quickly walks over, interest piqued, and grabs the crate out of Michael’s hands, ignoring his noise of protest. 

In the bottom of the crate there’s one of Michael’s favourite chocolate chip hot cross buns, but instead of a cross on top there’s a carefully shaped ‘M’. Luke laughs delightedly.

“He barely knows who you are, hm?” Luke teases.

“Its..” Michael coughs embarrassed. “It’s probably just a friendly thing.”

Luke rolls his eyes. “Come off it Mikey, that’s the most obvious display of affection in enriched dough form that I’ve ever seen. Where’s my L eh? Nowhere to be seen.” 

“Shut up,” Michael says, but he reaches into the crate and pulls out the bun, wrapping it in some baking paper with utmost care, before walking out into the front of the cafe. 

“You’re meant to be stocking the actual breads!” Luke calls after him, grabbing the tarts and following Michael out. 

Michael just raises his middle finger at him as he gently slides the wrapped bun into his backpack, still blushing. 

Luke laughs and goes to fetch them himself, stacking them in the baskets at the side of the counter, ready to be sold or to be sliced for their toasties.

“Right I’m gonna start on tomorrow’s cake, let me know when you need a hand.” Luke says, turning to Michael who’s absentmindedly filling up the coffee grinder with beans and not looking like he’s heard Luke in the slightest.

“Earth to Michael, come in Michael.” Luke nudges Michael’s arm with his elbow and Michael looks up with a start.

“Oh yeah, sorry. That’s fine,” Michael replies quickly.

“Are you going to be okay out here on your own?” Luke jokes. “You look like you could burn yourself on steam or tip grounds everywhere at any minute.” 

“Yes Luke,” Michael replies testily. “Now go and make some cake and let me do my job, I’ll call you when it gets busy.”

This is the way it works with the two of them in the morning, Luke getting a head start on his batters while Michael deals with the dribs and drabs of the early customers. When it gets to 8am and the little cafe starts getting really busy, Luke will step out to the front to help, and they will work seamlessly together; Michael tamping coffee and steaming milk expertly, whilst Luke takes orders and fills bags with breakfast pastries and muffins. After the rush dies down, Luke will retreat back into the kitchen and start the doughs for the next days’ croissants, until lunch time and he’ll be back out to give Michael a hand with slicing bread and toasting sandwiches. 

He enjoys the buzz of service with Michael, moving round each other with a well practised air and smiling at customers, his favourite bit is getting glimpses of the joy they get from something that he’s created. He’s most comfortable in the kitchen though; in the sweetly calming clouds of icing sugar and the reassuring warmth of the ovens, most at ease on his own with slightly sticky hands, flour perpetually dusting all of his clothes and with a speaker quietly playing his favourite songs into the vanilla scented air.

 X

“Luke!” He hears Michael’s voice float through the door, just as he’s closing the oven door on 3 sandwich pans of fresh raspberry filled sponge. 

“Coming!” He responds, setting his timer for 30 minutes, and pinning it to the top of his apron, before washing his hands and heading out of the door to join Michael. He sees there’s a queue building up and quickly steps behind the counter and smiles at the next customer as Michael pours milk into 3 flat whites in quick succession, a perfect leaf in milk foam appearing in each of them with an artful flick of his wrist.

“Hi, what can I get you?” He smiles at the man who’s just approached the counter.

“A small black Americano to take away, and make it quickly, I’ve already been here 15 minutes and some of us have actual jobs to work you know,” an older man in a suit barks at him, not looking up from his phone. 

“So sorry for the delay Sir, we’re very busy as you can see. Can I take a name for that?” Luke grits his teeth but maintains the smile on his face with some effort.

“It’s Richard,” the man says pompously. “And maybe you should employ more staff if you’re this busy.”

“We’ll take your feedback on board,” Luke replies, his smile coming forced. He writes the man's order, and “Dick” in tiny writing underneath on a cup before turning round and putting it on top of the coffee machine, rolling his eyes at Michael as he does so. Michael smirks in return, pressing his lips together to quell a laugh and slotting the portafilter into place under the grinder.

“That’ll be £2.00 please.”  

“Actually I think I’d like to speak to the manager about the poor service before I pay,” The man says brusquely.

“She’s not here at the moment unfortunately,” Luke responds, not bothering to maintain the smile.

“Well then I’d like to speak to the most senior person here,” The man continues.

“You’re looking at him,” Luke replies coolly, crossing his arms. He’s never been good at dealing with difficult customers, which is why he prefers being in his quiet domain in the kitchen, but he’s dealt with men like this before, all talk but no action when pushed. 

“I think you’re being incredibly rude, you’ve made me wait a ridiculous amount of time for a coffee which is priced extortionately, and now you’re going to be disrespectful to my face,” The man snaps.

“Maybe if people like you just paid and left then nobody would have to wait as long.” A calm voice comes from behind the man.

Luke looks around the rapidly reddening man in front of him to see the source of the voice and sees a man around his age in a suit, with a pair of headphones slung around his neck. Luke tries not to stare but the man is gorgeous, all deep brown eyes the colour of rich dark chocolate ganache, and swooping dark hair, his eyebrows raised and plump lips pursed slightly.

The older man starts spluttering angrily, “And who do you think you are to say something like that to me?”

The younger man just shrugs and continues to look at him calmly, not bothering to elaborate. Luke takes the opportunity to hold out the card machine towards the older man.

“£2.00 please,” He repeats.

The man scowls and taps his card against the machine. 

“You can wait at the end for your drink,” Luke says with a dry smile.

The man grunts but moves away to the side with a glare.

“Thanks,” Luke says quietly, smiling at the younger man as he approaches. 

The man’s lips spread into a genuine smile and Luke thinks they look even better that way if that were possible. “No worries, I think you were handling it fine, it was just an observation.” His voice is warm and deep, reminding Luke of a buttery caramel sauce. 

Luke bites his lip and tries not to blush. “What can I get for you?”

“Flat white, please,” The man says, still smiling at Luke.

“Name?” Luke attempts to hide his face behind the cup he’s just picked up.

“Calum,” He says. “But I think I’ll take that to have in if you don’t mind?” 

“Of course!” Luke says quickly, fumbling his pen slightly as he switches the paper cup for a ceramic one, peeling a sticky note so he can write Calum’s order. “Anything to eat?”

“I’m new here, what do you recommend?” Calum says, cocking his head slightly before looking over the display case. “It all looks amazing.”

Luke definitely blushes this time and clears his throat. “Well the pains au chocolat are quite good I think,” he says nervously.

“Let’s go with that then.” Calum smiles again and Luke thinks his legs might have melted into his shoes but he can’t seem to move them to check if that’s true or not. 

“Or if you wanted something sweeter you could go with one of the lemon muffins, or the strawberry cupc-”

“Luke,” Michael interrupts from behind him. “Please stop flirting with this nice man and get on with serving the other eight nice people we have waiting?” He begs.

If Luke thought he was blushing before it's nothing compared to the heat he feels in his face now. He turns to Michael and throws him daggers.

“The pain au chocolat sounds perfect.” Calum fishes out his wallet. “And your colleague’s right, I’m being a bit of a hypocrite after telling that twat to hurry up aren’t I?” He pushes a hand through his hair and smiles apologetically.

“No, you’re fine it’s no problem at all,” Luke manages to get out. “That’ll be £5.60.”

Luke lets Calum tap his card on the machine and then busies himself with pulling the pastry out and onto a plate which he places on a tray with a napkin, ready for Michael to put the coffee on when it's been made.

“Why don’t you go and sit down, Luke will bring it over in a few minutes if you’re not in too much of a rush?” Michael suggests, pressing the buttons on the coffee machine and sliding a cup underneath to catch the espresso starting to stream out. 

Calum looks bemusedly at Michael for a second before shrugging. “That’d be great, yeah. My office is just round the corner so I’ve got a few minutes. Thanks… Luke.” He says Luke’s name like he’s deciding how he likes the taste of it in his mouth, before quirking his lips once more, and heading to a table in the corner of the cafe.

“What are you doing?” Luke hisses at Michael as he takes the next customer’s order, writing quickly on another cup and fishing change out of the till when the woman hands over a five pound note. “You were just making a point about how busy we were!”

“I’m not telling you to go and sit down with him,” Michael whispers back, only just audible over the sound of the coffee grinder. “But he’s obviously into you, just take his coffee and flirt a bit and then come back and help me!”

Luke takes the most recent batch of completed coffees and distributes them to the waiting customers, smiling slightly when the rude man snatches it off him and storms out on his phone without even checking the name on the cup. He takes another order and passes it to Michael, just as Michael finishes off a flat white with a perfect heart.

“There,” He says in a pleased voice, setting it down next to the pain au chocolat on Calum’s tray. “Now off you go.”

Luke smiles at the woman he’s just served then glares at the tray and at Michael. “What have you put a heart on it for!” He yelps.

“It’s called flirting!” Michael starts steaming another jug of milk. 

“He’s going to think you like him not me!” Luke protests.

“Just go!” Michael hisses, finishing up another coffee and handing it to a waiting customer. “Hi, how are you?” He intercepts the next person waiting at the counter before Luke can do anything about it.

Luke huffs noisily and picks up the tray reluctantly. He wouldn’t go over at all, but Calum did help him with the arsehole customer so the least he can do is actually provide the service he came in for and give the man his coffee. He heads over to where Calum is sat, with his headphones on and jiggling his knee as he types something into his phone. He looks up at the sounds of Luke putting his plate down on the table and smiles gratefully. Luke then sets down the coffee next to the plate and tries to tamp down his instinct to run away immediately. Calum looks at the coffee and then up at Luke, eyes twinkling and a blush in his cheeks. 

“Hope you have a great day!” Luke squeaks out and speed walks back to the counter.

“So?” Michael asks as he fishes out a croissant and places it in a bag, tapping the end of the tongs on the glass.

“Uh, I told him to have a good day then ran away before he could respond,“ Luke mutters, snatching the bag off Michael and handing it off to the customer in front of him. 

“Luke -” Michael starts.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Luke snaps. “Make coffee.”

“Okay boss,” Michael says, barely repressing a giggle. 

Luke spends the next 15 minutes regretting every life choice he’s ever made and resolutely not looking towards the corner Calum is sat in, focusing entirely on the rush of customers. At about 8:45 he sees out the corner of his eye that Calum has stood up, brushing a few crumbs off his knee and patting his pockets. Luke turns around and busies himself with writing the next order on a cup for Michael so that Calum can leave without making eye contact with him. When he deems that it’s been long enough, he turns back to the counter, but standing just off to the side is Calum, scuffing a hand up through the back of his hair and smiling shyly at Luke again.

“Just wanted to say, an inspired choice on the pain au chocolat.” He says. “Send my compliments to the chef,”

“Oh erm, thanks, I will.” Luke stutters out.

“Bye, Luke,” Calum says. “Maybe see you tomorrow, and... Hope you have a great day too.” His face breaks out into a wider smile that reminds Luke of the feeling of getting just the right consistency for macaron batter, or a perfectly smooth finish on a cake or the way good puff pastry flakes into the perfect fragments when you cut through a mille-feuille. Or something.

With that Calum slips his headphones back onto his head and leaves the cafe. 

“You are a useless sack of shit you know that,” Michael scoffs at him.

“Fuck off,” Luke mutters under his breath. “Two words. Ashton. Irwin.” Michael glares back at him.

They get through the last half hour of the rush as normal, Luke pausing only briefly to pull the sponges out of the oven, and he’s twitching more than ever to get back into the safety of his kitchen with some dough in his hands and the comforting whirr of his mixers.

“Okay I’m all good here, you can go,” Michael smiles at him shaking his head.

Luke basically runs through the doors into the back and inhales deeply. God, he needs to get a grip.

X

It continues like this over the next few weeks. Calum will come in most mornings, and sometimes he’s in a rush, smiling apologetically as he orders to take away. Most mornings though, he will appear earlier, choose something to eat on Luke’s recommendation and sits at the table in the corner for 20 minutes before complimenting what he’s eaten on his way out. Luke never speaks to him short of suggesting a new pastry or muffin (and maybe he’s also developing new options everyday just to be able to give Calum something else to praise), but he does spend quite a lot of time looking at Calum sitting in his corner, long fingers wrapping around his mug of coffee and mouth chewing thoughtfully on whatever Luke’s provided him with whilst he jiggles his knee to his music.

Luke swears that sometimes when he chances one of these looks over to him whilst he’s serving a customer, Calum is looking back at him, but his brown eyes always blink away as soon as Luke’s catch them. 

Predictably, Michael is absolutely insufferable about it.

“Loverboy’s looking at you again,” He smirks, checking the most recent order Luke has written for him.

“Shut up, Mikey,” Luke says petulantly. “He is not.”

“He’s always looking at you, Luke,” Michael laughs. “You’re actually driving me mad, please just ask him out or something, you two have the most obvious thing for each other ever. ”

“We do not, he doesn’t like me like that,” Luke protests. “He could be looking at you for all we know, you were the one who put a heart on his flat white,” he adds, sourly.

“You should see his face drop when he comes in here and you’re already in the back,” Michael responds knowingly. “He looks like someone’s pissed in his coffee every time you’re not here to stammer at him about what cakes you’ve made.” 

Luke’s face flames red and he turns his back on Michael deliberately to serve the next customer, as he hears Michael’s suppressed giggles behind him. Look, he knows Michael might have a point and that he could just talk to Calum, but Luke doesn’t really know how, unless he’s talking about pastry or ganache or sponges words just don’t come that easily to him. Especially when faced with someone who looks like Calum does. He sighs and closes his eyes briefly. When he opens them, as if summoned by Luke’s thoughts, there Calum is at the edge of the counter.

“Blueberry muffin was particularly good today,” He says quietly with his usual smile. “Have a good day, Luke.” He gives a small wave and exits the cafe. Luke opens his mouth to say something before he can leave, but nothing comes out so he just closes it again. He kicks the edge of the counter grumpily.

“I’m literally the worst ever,” He groans, spinning round and going through to the kitchen, swinging the door behind him, Michael’s laughs following him through. 

X

Luke is having what he thinks might be the most disastrous day ever. It’s after 5pm, the cafe has just closed and he would normally think about going home soon but Em’s got the day off and he’s not been able to make half of the stuff he needs to for tomorrow. Every ganache he’s attempted has split, he’s burnt one batch of cupcakes and under-cooked another so they’ve sunk in the centre, he’s crystallised his caramel so its unusable, and the chocolate he tempered for the triple chocolate layer cake he has planned has come out mottled and dull. He hates to admit it but the worst part of it was that he didn’t even see Calum this morning, he worked out the front much longer than he normally does in the hope of seeing the other man, but he never turned up. Michael had just raised his eyebrows and given him a knowing grin as he had slumped back into the kitchen at well past half-nine. He sighs at himself as he pushes a hand through his curly hair which he’s had to pull back into a tiny ponytail at the nape of his neck, and tips another set of cakes into the bin. 

He hears a knock on the back door of the kitchen, and the door opening. A curly brown head appears round the door frame. 

“Hi Luke, Is this a bad time?” Ashton says, surveying the disarray before him, bowls and utensils on every surface, half finished cakes and fillings littering the other available spaces. 

Luke huffs out a laugh and wipes his hands on his apron. “No you’re fine come on in, just having one of those days. Sorry for the state of it in here.”

Ashton smiles at him and steps into the kitchen, going to the store where he knows they keep the empty bread crates. “No worries at all mate! Oh I brought my flatmate with me, hope you don’t mind. Calum had the day off today and I roped him into helping me do the pick-ups.”

Luke’s mouth drops open as Calum Calum sidesteps into the kitchen and smiles at Luke embarrassed. “Uh, hi?”

Luke just gapes, spatula limp in one hand.

“Just going out the front for a sec, Cal, just need to check something with Michael!” Ashton calls quickly exiting the room. Luke thinks he spots a smirk on Ashton’s face and his eyes narrow in suspicion. 

“Uh, sorry for barging in on you like this,” Calum starts, standing awkwardly by the door still. “When Ash said he did deliveries for cafes in the local area I didn’t know he meant yours as well.”

“Missed you this morning,” Luke blurts out, then promptly feels himself turn red, again. Jesus Christ where did that come from? He wants to disappear like, immediately and wonders whether he could shut himself in the walk-in without Calum noticing.

A small pleased smile appears on Calum’s face and he blushes slightly. “I thought it might be a bit desperate to also turn up when I’m not even in the office. But I guess I’m here anyway.”

“Well I’m glad,” Luke says quietly, ducking his head and biting his lip. 

Calum’s eyes twinkle at him. “So this is where the magic happens?” He asks, examining his surroundings.

Luke groans. “Don’t look at it like his,” he begs. “I’m usually such an organised worker I promise, I’m just, having a few issues.” 

Calum smiles and comes over to stand next to Luke. Luke inhales sharply and thinks that Calum smells like the freshly baked bread in Ashton’s van but also something else, sweet and spicy, like a hot cinnamon and apple cake or a warm speculoos biscuit just out of the oven. 

“Can I help with anything while I’m here?” He asks softly, reaching out hesitantly and barely grazing Luke’s elbow. Luke focuses on trying to regulate his breaths which is proving almost impossible with Calum standing so close to him, the feeling of his warm hand through his sleeve and the sight of the concerned smile on his face.

“It’ll be okay I think,” he manages to get out breathily. “Thanks though, that’s very sweet of you.” 

“No, I think that’s you,” Calum says quietly, reddening a bit but looking up to meet Luke’s eyes. 

He reaches out and brushes a hand gently through an escaping curl on Luke’s face.

“You’ve got a bit of flour here.” He says quietly, tilting his head to one side and twisting Luke’s hair around his finger briefly. “And here,” Calum continues, skimming his fingers across Luke’s cheekbone. “Here too,” he murmurs, stepping even closer to Luke and dragging his fingertips under Luke’s chin and down the side of his neck, leaving them to rest curling slightly into the collar of Luke’s shirt and looking at Luke in the eyes. Luke’s not sure if he can breathe, lost in the gentle stroke of Calum’s hand and the swirling chocolate of his eyes, feeling the pink blush dusting across his skin, left in the wake of Calum’s touch. His eyes flicker down to Calum’s lips, and he sees them curve into a smile, before he leans forward slightly and catches Luke’s own lips in a soft kiss.

“Hm,” Calum murmurs as he pulls away slightly. “You taste sweet too.” 

Luke honestly thinks this might be the best moment of his life so far, and slides his hand over Calum’s shoulder to pull him back towards him, but just as he does he hears a scuffling sound from outside the swing door into the main cafe.

“Mikey is that you?” Luke asks suspiciously, stepping away from Calum slightly and turning towards the door. Calum steps back too, but loops an arm loosely around Luke’s waist, fingers playing with the ties of his apron. 

“No,” a voice comes through the door.

“Get in here,” Luke says bossily, “You too Ashton I know you’re out there.”

The two of them appear in the doorway, Michael having the good grace to look a little ashamed but Ashton doesn’t even bother, a huge shit eating grin on his face.

“What is going on here?” Luke demands, narrowing his eyes at the pair of them. He’s trying to stay stern but it's proving very difficult when he can feel Calum’s hands skim along his side and him gently nose his shoulder blade as he huffs out a giggle behind him. 

“What I think is going on is that you, Lukey, and dearest Cal Pal might have been having a moment?” Ashton smirks at the two of them.

“I don’t know how you two are involved in this but I know you are and I want you to explain yourselves,” Luke says petulantly. He then looks at Ashton and Michael closer and catches sight of their hands clasped, hidden slightly behind Ashton. 

“What is going on here?!” Luke repeats again, gesturing at their hands. He sees Michael (and Ashton come to think of it) every day, how has he missed this? Probably because he’s been lost in thoughts of Calum for the last 3 weeks he reasons with himself.

Michael blushes to the roots of his hair and pulls away from Ashton slightly but Ashton just tugs him into his body, curving his hand around Michael's hip and pressing a kiss into his neck before releasing him. 

“Well Michael and I started talking the other week, and we found out that by some miracle that the Calum that happened to be coming in everyday to stare at Luke for 20 minutes and leave, was the same Calum who lives in my flat and won’t stop talking about the gorgeous cake maker who works at the cafe round the corner from his office.” Ashton says, laughing, as Calum makes a wounded noise of protest and hides his face in Luke’s shoulder. “And this very Luke that Calum wouldn’t stop talking about happened to be the Luke that I deliver bread to every morning and apparently won’t stop throwing longing glances at Calum from the other side of the counter when he thinks he’s not looking.”

Luke squeaks, and feels Calum giggle behind him, both arms coming round his waist and dropping his chin onto Luke’s shoulder.

“And you two thought you would mastermind a plan then I suppose,” Calum says amusedly. 

“Why aren’t you more annoyed by this,” Luke gripes, turning his head to try to glare at Calum but managing only to brush his nose against his cheek. 

“Because I got what I wanted out of it, regardless of the method,” Calum says sweetly, and Luke blushes again.

“That doesn’t explain.. This!” Luke gestures at Michael and Ashton, he doesn’t know quite why his brain has fixated on this development when he has Calum basically draped along his back but what has happened in the last 10 minutes has been too much for his brain to handle.

“Well we had to come up with a plan so I asked Ashton if he wanted to go for food,” Michael finally pipes up, a small pleased smile on his face.

“You did?” Luke asks in what he acknowledges is probably quite a rude way but this was a turn of events he was not expecting.

“Well maybe watching you pine so disgustingly made me want to do something about it,” Michael retorts, but there’s no heat in it. 

“I knew the hot cross bun would work,” Ashton says solemnly, and Michael jabs him in the ribs with his elbow.

“Okay, I’ve decided that’s enough of the two of you,” Calum says. “Go and scheme elsewhere now please.”

Ashton laughs and salutes them before tugging Michael out of the back door.

“I honestly can’t believe this,” Luke begins, “they think they can just meddle in our business and force us into the same room together and that we’ll just kiss and they can pat themselves on the back for a job well done?” 

Calum is quiet beside him and Luke turns to look at him. “Well?”

Calum smiles at him, that one that makes Luke feel like he’s floating in sweet mallow clouds and tips his head slightly to the side. “I mean I’m sorry Luke but that’s exactly how it happened, so yes I suppose they can.”

Luke begins to make a noise of protest but Calum just grabs the front of his apron and pulls him back towards him. 

“You can carry this on later, but can we stop talking about Michael and Ashton for one second? I was sort of busy before they came in,”  Calum whispers over Luke’s lips.

“Yeah okay,” Luke responds, leaning into Calum and catching his lips back against his own. 

Calum pulls away after a couple of minutes and brushes another rogue curl out of Luke’s face. “So about that help you turned down earlier, I’m not taking no for an answer. I’ll start cleaning some of these things up and you can get on and do what you do best.” Calum leans in and gives him one last peck before heading over to the sink and starting to run the tap.

Luke smiles, slightly dazed and runs his fingers over his lips, thinking Calum tastes pretty sweet himself, a little bit like the warm vanilla air in his kitchen and a lot like home.

[calumcest]

there’s no time for running away now

so me exposing myself: yes i write fics that i never post. here is one of them that i’m pretty sure i wrote while completely out of my fucking mind at like 2am and have not re-read or edited so? absolutely cannot guarantee the quality of this fic in any way shape or form please do not hold me accountable for any of its content. unless you like it in which case please do hold me accountable because i require at least 3 doses of validation a day to survive. also this fic was literally me coming up with the final line and then writing 2.4k just to have a reason to have it

It’s three a.m., and Ashton’s awake. 

On the surface, that might not appear to be a problem. And ordinarily, it wouldn’t be - ordinarily, Ashton would either roll over groggily, will sleep to come with every fibre of his being and maybe a quick prayer or two, or read something mind-numbingly boring like his urgent work emails to send him back to sleep. This, however, isn’t the most ordinary situation. 

Ashton is awake because of Luke. 

And, okay, that’s a bit of an unfair characterisation. It’s actually Ashton’s racing thoughts keeping him up, but since Luke’s the focus of said thoughts swirling in a huge cluster through Ashton’s mind, overlapping and interlocking so Ashton can’t pick them apart from the love love love that’s threading through them all, he’s going to blame it on Luke. And it’s not exactly Ashton’s fault he’s in love with Luke, is it? He’d challenge anyone to spend years crammed in tight spaces with Luke Hemmings and not fall in love with him. 

(Michael and Calum don’t count, obviously. Ashton’s never seen two people so blinkered by love in his life, and he’s equal parts envious of their deep, easy love and grateful that they’re not his competition. He’s not sure he could take on Calum’s thoughtfulness if it came down to it.) 

The real problem is that Ashton’s alone. They’re in a hotel, some shitty place in northern England that Ashton can’t even remember the name of, but they’d all been so ecstatic to find out that they had a room each (each!) that they hadn’t been able to bring themselves to care. They’d all hopped straight in the shower, washing off three days’ worth of sweat and grime, and then one by one dropped out of the group chat (Ashton had heard Calum’s door clicking open and shut, muted footsteps and muffled voices), until Ashton thought he was the only one left awake. 

When Ashton’s squashed in a tour bus with God knows how many other six-foot-something men in their twenties, there’s nothing he wishes for more than a moment to himself. He sneaks the moments in when he can - a few minutes backstage, a few moments on the bus in the morning before anyone else has woken up, before Luke comes padding in with bleary eyes and a sleepy smile that makes Ashton’s stomach flip - but it’s never more than ten minutes, never enough time to feel the solitude. Now, though, he’s got nothing to do besides let the seclusion envelop him, listen to the silence and his tinnitus and let the ringing infiltrate his thoughts. 

It’s been so long since Ashton’s been on his own, really been on his own - usually on hotel nights, he’s so exhausted and grateful for a proper bed he falls asleep fully-dressed and wakes up disoriented - that he’s kind of forgotten what it’s like. He’s forgotten the way that his thoughts start to squirm around in his mind, all clamouring for his attention, one following the other in such rapid succession that Ashton barely has the time to process them before the next one is already gripping him by the throat and forcing him to look at it. He’s forgotten how fucking overwhelming it is, how it makes his breath catch in his throat, his stomach churn, thinking himself in spirals that he can’t think himself out of. 

The fact that Luke’s next door isn’t exactly helping matters. The hotel walls seem to be a product of a scientific experiment into creating materials that are one atom thick, so Ashton can hear every move Luke makes. He heard it when Luke padded into the bathroom for a shower, when Luke ambled over to the desk, heard the entirety of the news that Luke had on for about twenty minutes (apparently the Queen’s giving a speech tomorrow, and the EU are looking to pass a law about interest rates). He heard it when Luke got changed, heard his fucking jeans drop to the floor, heard him tossing and turning trying to get comfortable on the lumpy mattress. He can hear every creak of Luke’s bed, can almost make out Luke’s deep breathing if he really strains his ears, and it’s making it impossible not to think about him. Not that Ashton’s particularly good at ever not thinking about Luke. Luke Hemmings is definitely the majority shareholder of Ashton’s mind. 

Now, though, at three in the morning, in a shitty hotel room in God knows where, a country that isn’t home and never will be, on his own with nobody there to ground him, it feels frightening, more overwhelming than Ashton could ever put into words. He’s so in love with Luke, so fucking in love with Luke, and it puts everything on a knife’s edge. His sanity, his friendship with Luke, his career - everything’s on the line because Ashton can’t say no to those baby blues.

At half-past, when Luke rolls over in bed and makes a little noise of contentment, duvet rustling as he moves, Ashton breaks. 

“Wha’?” Michael says groggily when he picks up, sounding too sleepy to be annoyed. 

“Are you awake?” Ashton says, as quietly as possible, gnawing at his lip. 

“No,” Michael says, and then the line cuts out. Ashton hates him. 

“Are you up?” Ashton asks, when Michael picks up again, on the first ring. 

“Am now, dickhead,” Michael grunts. “‘s up?” 

“Luke.” There’s a pause, then a rustling sound and quiet footsteps, and then the sound of a door locking. 

“Ash, it’s three thirty in the fucking morning,” Michael says, and his voice echoes strangely, bouncing off the walls of what Ashton can only suppose is his en-suite, but it’s soft, understanding. He knows why Ashton’s still up, why he’s getting a call from across the hall at three-thirty in the morning. 

“Yeah,” Ashton says, hoping Michael understands yeah, that’s why I’m this fucked up. Everything feels worse at night, when Ashton doesn’t have the bright light of day to convince himself that it’s not that bad, he’s not going to fuck everything up that badly. Michael sighs, and it’s tinny and a little staticky, and Ashton’s suddenly struck with the thought that Michael’s voice is being beamed up to a satellite thousands of miles away before being sent back to Ashton, even though he’s about five strides away. It makes him feel a little sick, that level of removal between the two of them. Michael’s a few metres and yet thousands of miles away. 

“Ash,” he says gently, which is never a good sign from Michael. “You’ve got to stop torturing yourself like this.” Ashton bites at his thumbnail. 

“‘m not torturing myself,” he mumbles. 

“Oh?” Michael says, a note of scepticism in his voice. “You’re not lying in bed at three-thirty in the fucking morning thinking about how in love you are with Luke, convincing yourself you’re going to fuck everything up because of it?” Ashton hesitates. 

“Fuck you,” he says eventually, and Michael doesn’t even retort, just sighs again, heavy and sad. 

“I don’t like seeing you like this,” he says. 

“You’re not seeing me,” Ashton says, a little childishly. 

“You know what I mean.” Ashton does, and he hates it. It adds a sheen of guilt to all the other confusing emotions bubbling through him, that Michael’s got to deal with this, got to walk the tightrope of being between his two best friends. 

“Sorry,” Ashton says, a little too meekly. 

“Don’t,” Michael says sternly. “You’ve got to do something about it, Ash. You can’t spend the rest of your life stuck in perpetual limbo.” Ashton tears at a hangnail, relishing the way it stings when he rips it. 

“Do what?” Ashton says. “‘s not like I can tell him. Could fuck everything up.” He hesitates, and then adds: “Could fuck your life up.” 

“You think that matters more to me than your happiness?” Michael says, sounding genuinely incredulous, and Ashton loves him, absolutely fucking loves him, and absolutely doesn’t deserve him. 

“I love you,” he tells Michael, who snorts, the sound echoing strangely in the bathroom. 

“You’d better,” he says, but it’s fond. “C’mon, Ash, you’ve got to talk to him at some point. What the fuck else are you going to do? Sit around and wait for Luke to get married and have two-point-five kids?” Ashton blinks up at the ceiling, stomach churning at the thought of Luke with a faceless spouse and a white picket fence. 

“Maybe,” he says, counting the stains on the white paint to give him something else to think about. “Doesn’t sound like the worst plan in the world.” 

“No, Ash, it does,” Michael’s tinny voice tells him. “Christ. You’re such a fucking emotional masochist.” Ashton sighs, and casts his gaze down to the hem of his shirt, picking at a loose thread.

“What the fuck would I even say?” he says. It’s not like he’s never envisioned it; a grand declaration of love - always returned by Luke, of course - but in his fantasies, it’s a certainty that Luke’s going to feel the same way, so there’s none of that gut-wrenching, stomach-rolling uncertainty, no bile rising in his throat, no clammy hands and dry mouth. 

“The truth?” Michael suggests. Ashton rolls his eyes. 

“Mike, I can’t just waltz up to Luke and tell him I’m in love with him,” he says.

“Worked for me,” Michael says, and Ashton can almost hear him shrugging. 

“That’s different,” Ashton says, because it is. Michael’s not a massive fucking overthinker. 

“Is it?” Michael says, a little shrewdly. “I didn’t know if Calum felt the same way. But what else was I gonna do, wait around the rest of my life wasting my time on him? I needed closure either way. Would’ve spent the rest of my life making myself miserable living off hope otherwise.” Ashton knows he’s right, knows from the way his stomach sinks and his heart speeds up, but hates it, wants to rationalise why he doesn’t need to tell Luke, why he shouldn’t. “You’re overthinking it,” Michael says into the silence, like he knows exactly what’s going through Ashton’s mind right now, and Ashton scowls. 

“Right, fuck me for overthinking something that could end my career,” he hisses, gripping the phone tighter than necessary because his hands are a little cold and clammy now at the thought of having to actually stand in front of Luke and say the words I’m in love with you. 

“You’re such a fucking drama queen,” Michael says, tutting. 

“Are you insane?” Ashton demands, incensed, and this is good, this is safe. He can redirect all the discomfort and anxiety into righteous anger; he can handle that. That’s well-worn territory with him and Michael. 

“I’m not doing this, Ash,” Michael says sensibly, because he knows Ashton far too well for Ashton’s liking. “You can’t keep running from your feelings the minute they get too heavy for you to bear. ‘S never gonna get any better if you’re not letting yourself process it. It doesn’t go away on its own.” 

“I know,” Ashton says hopelessly, because he does, and it’s what he’s been trying to run from. He knows he can’t live in this limbo forever, but he can’t bring himself to take a step in either direction. “Fuck, Michael. I don’t know if I can do it.” 

“You can,” Michael says, gentle, encouraging. 

“It’d fuck everything up,” Ashton says. 

“It won’t,” Michael says. “You’re both mature adults.” He pauses, and Ashton knows they’re thinking the same thing, and then he adds: “Okay, well. You’re a mature adult. I’ll drag Luke into maturity kicking and screaming.” Ashton can’t help but huff out a laugh at that, chest warming as he hears the meaning behind what Michael’s saying - I’ll fight your corner. I’ve got your back. 

“What if he doesn’t feel the same?” Ashton says, biting his lip. 

“Then at least you know,” Michael says. “And you can start moving on.” Ashton swallows, ignoring the pain of the lump in his throat. 

“I don’t want to,” he says, and it comes out a little strangled. 

“I know,” Michael says. Ashton waits for something else, for him to justify it, but there’s just staticky silence from Michael’s end of the line. 

“That’s it?” 

“What, you want a deep, motivational speech as to why you should tell him?” Michael says. “I’m not going to give you that, Ash. Do it or don’t, it’s up to you. But you’ll never be able to rest, never have your mind to yourself, until you do it.” Ashton exhales shakily. 

“Yeah,” he says, and his voice cracks, because God, it’s fucking terrifying, thinking that he might have to face Luke and say the words I’m in love with you in order to get his own sanity back. “You’re right.” 

“I know,” Michael says, and Ashton huffs out a laugh to cover the flutters of panic in his chest. “Can I go back to sleep now?” Ashton blinks, and nods. 

“Yeah,” he says again, voice a little steadier this time. “Sorry.” 

“‘S okay,” Michael says through a yawn, and Ashton has to stifle a yawn of his own. Christ, he’s actually fucking drained. Overthinking should qualify as a sport. “Love you. Not as much as I love Calum, though.” 

“Arsehole,” Ashton says, rolling his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Love you too. But not as much as I love Luke.” 

“I’d fucking hope not,” Michael says. “Don’t want you to be fantasising about fucking me.” Ashton wrinkles his nose. 

“I don’t want to fantasise about that either,” he says. 

“So don’t.” 

“I won’t.” 

“Good,” Michael says, stifling a yawn. “Don’t fantasise about Calum, either.” 

“Why the fuck would I fantasise about Calum?” Ashton wants to know. 

“Hey,” Michael says, sounding a little affronted. “What the fuck are you trying to say?” 

“I’m saying neither you nor Calum are exactly at the top of my fantasy list when Luke’s right there,” Ashton says. 

“That’s fucking rude,” Michael tells him. 

“What the fuck? You just told me-” 

"Yeah, but on principle you should want to fantasise about us,” Michael interrupts. “You just aren’t allowed.” Ashton rolls his eyes. 

“I’m not fantasising about anyone except Luke,” he says. 

“I don’t want to know that.” Jesus Christ. Michael’s fucking impossible. 

“Go to fucking sleep,” Ashton says, because arguing with Michael is a waste of time on the best of days, let alone at four in the fucking morning. 

“I’ve been trying,” Michael says, and there’s rustling sounds as he gets to his feet. “Night, Ashton. Love you.”

“Night,” Ashton says, but Michael’s already hung up. 

He plugs his phone in and rolls back over in bed, the emotional exhaustion starting to kick in, and he closes his eyes, ready to fall asleep, when from Luke’s room he hears a very, very clear-

“Night, Ash.” 

Fuck. 

taglist: @sadistmichael @callmeboatboy @clumsyclifford @angel-cal @tirednotflirting @cthofficial @tigerteeff @haikucal @queer-5sos @i-am-wierd-always @stupidfukimgspam @bloodyoathcal

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[lukeisbaby]

boxer!luke being the biggest dickhead to literally everyone but when it comes to his girl he’s so fucking soft and protective, constantly checking on her if somethings wrong, little subtle smiles when she texts him, ready to beat the fuck out of anyone who disrespects her in any way

he’d call her his little princess and always buy her surprise gifts, cook dinner for her and end the night cuddling and watching disney movies

then of course fucking her brains out

[takemywhiteasstosixflags]

me and ellis decided to diagnose everyone in our group called OSHA Violations on the fandom misinterpretation thing and i think its funny and telling of many things so lets hit it .  me (ted): either made out to be an uwu/baby autistic/aspec/arospec or made out to be a one dimensional dickhead because a lot of my humor comes from (jokingly) poking fun of my friends. difference between me doing it and others doing it is that im very blunt outside of jokes ellis: underrated as hell because lesbian, probably somewhat of a fan favorite anyhow because Funny. there would also be like 3000 gross ships that make no sense (esp considering he’s a lesbian) grz: immediately forgotten about despite being a fun character, or made out to be the “smartest of the group” (hint: none of us are the smartest of the group) luke: fairly neutral, people pretty much only put him there for shipping with des despite being having a lot of personality without... shipping. jude: basically everyone’s projecting character. EVERYONE kins this mf and makes him out to be way more emotionally closed off and “””cool””” than he actually is. probably the character everyone is attracted to for no reason. almost forgot, people probably just completely ignore hes asexual and are always fucking gross about it des: made out to be way more of an asshole than he actually is, definitely the “problematic fav” despite the fact he never does anything objectively wrong and only has other people’s best interest in mind OR a weirdly creepy ship thing with luke flick: ALSO has the uwu/baby autistic deal but 🍰’s also an underrated fave. people would never believe that 🍰’d ever say a slur but 🍰 calls me a fag every day of my life so i think you and i both know thats wrong ace: instead of the uwu/baby autistic, theres the absolute fucking moron ADHD deal (which literally anybody with a brain will know this isnt true) and probably the source of a lot of shipping discourse because he’s an attractive white boy despite canonically being poly and dating jude and flick