#luke was supposed to be up in the air. He's literally a driving force the whole book come on now

[twilightarcade]

anyway do you ever think about how his token character trait was being mysterious constantly being hinted at being a member of the eye, never formally confirmed. But he comes around at the end of the book like hey I'm mayday but he's leading her towards either death or salvation and she can resist and if it's salvation then she will have lost it and if it's death then the hope will be gone because you Know so there's nothing that she can do besides go along with it because the alternative is terrible, knowing your fate and by the end so many characters fates are up in the air only to be left up for interpretation by hypothetical 2040 scholars but even they can't be sure but then the fucking series comes along and is like hey fuck that everyone is still fine they're all alive Luke is alive Moria broke out June has a name for some reason and whatever there's still the Horrors but we go beyond the book which was so neatly wrapped up isn't that terrible you were left to speculate and now they spell it out for you they weren't supposed to do that and nick is the most generic hot guy I've ever seen I know they described him as handsome but the bar is literally in the ground I would kill to have a Normal Guy do you think they even have time to spend on that frivolous stuff he literally doesn't have a nice bedroom

[nicknellie]

Anonymous requested: Can I request a one bed trope for willex?

Oh, you absolutely can request that! I’m a sucker for this trope and I think this is my second time ever writing it (first for this fandom) so this was a lot of fun to get into. Thank you for the request, anon!

Champagne and Roses

Alex was never trusting Luke to book a hotel again. There was a reason Flynn handled admin for the band despite not being in it, and that reason was that all the actual bandmates were useless at it. Still, Luke had found a hotel that he had described as “super insane, like bro, it’ll be awesome, I promise” and had insisted on being the one to book it so nobody had the surprise of what was so good about it ruined for them. But it looked like Alex was set to reap the consequences.

Technically, Julie and the Phantoms were on tour, but what they were really using the opportunity for was something more akin to a road trip with just their nearest and dearest. Alex, Luke, Julie, and Reggie were there to attend their shows and meet-and-greets, Flynn had come along as their manager, but Carrie and Willie were also tagging along for the fun of it. So far they had stopped off at six different venues around North America, and they were on their way to the seventh, namely the hotel Luke was so pumped about.

He hadn’t stopped talking about it since they’d got in the tour bus the previous night, and it was starting to drive Alex a little insane. He was sat on one of the bus’s plush sofas with a cushion clamped over his ears as he tried to drown Luke’s voice out, but it wasn’t working all too well. Sat next to him, Willie was clearly trying not to laugh at him.

“I know I said I wouldn’t tell you guys anything about the hotel,” Luke was saying, the biggest grin plastered across his face, “but just wait until you see the pool. It’s gigantic, and there’s like a thousand slides. And Reggie, bro, you’re gonna love the breakfast buffet they set out, from the photos on their website it looks like they’ve got literally everything.”

“It sounds expensive,” Flynn called from the front seat, sat between Julie (who was taking her turn at driving the bus) and Carrie, who was somehow managing to paint her nails immaculately in a moving vehicle on the highway. “If you’ve blown the band’s budget on a hotel, Luke Patterson, I’m going to hop back there and murder you.”

“It wasn’t that expensive,” Luke said, looking sheepish. Still, Flynn’s threat shut him up a little – Alex decided it was probably better not to ask how much Luke had spent on the booking. “Besides, I saved money by booking shared rooms instead of individual ones.”

That grabbed Alex’s attention. If ever they were away as a band they shared rooms – Alex would buddy up with Luke and Reggie, and Julie and Flynn would be together – but this time there were two extra people in the mix, and Alex didn’t really see how it would work having Willie and Carrie share a room when they hardly spoke to each other outside of this kind of setting.

“Who’s with who?” Alex asked, removing the cushion from his ears and setting it down next to him. A moment later, Willie reached across Alex’s midriff, plucked the pillow from the sofa, and put it behind his own head, laying back comfortably. Alex’s pretended that he wasn’t blushing profusely at the brief touch.

“Well, we can probably change it if we want to once we get there, but I’m with Julie, Flynn and Carrie are together, Reggie’s got a room to himself, and you’re with Willie.”

Alex had no idea how to react. The moment Luke had spoken, his mind had imploded. At every other hotel they’d stayed at so far, everyone had got their own room, purely to give themselves some alone time because they were spending every minute of every day together on the tour and it could get a little suffocating. To go from that to sharing a room with Willie of all people?

Luke had to have known what he was doing. He knew how Alex felt about Willie, so this plan had to have been formed in the deep dark corner of his brain that was designated for doomed matchmaking. It wasn’t like Alex had never shared a room with Willie before, but they had always chosen to, it had never been forced upon them like this. He couldn’t help but wonder what Willie made of it, if his heart was hammering the same way Alex’s was, if the thought of sharing a room made him giddy and nauseous all at the same time too.

He cast a quick, careful glance in Willie’s direction, only to see that his expression had remained completely unchanged, which was unhelpful. Complete neutrality could mean anything. Still, Alex supposed it was better than Willie looking annoyed or disgusted or downright angry at the thought of sharing a room together.

This was silly, Alex told himself. He had shared a room with Willie before, they’d had the occasional sleepover and it had always been lovely. There was no reason that this time should be any different. He tried to calm himself, school his features into something resembling nonchalance.

“Alex,” Reggie said, sounding concerned, “are you feeling travel-sick again? You look like you’re about to vomit all over Willie.”

Apparently nonchalance hadn’t worked.

Alex seized the opportunity. “A little bit of fresh air might be nice,” he said.

Julie pulled over a minute or so later and Alex hopped out of the tour bus. They had pulled off the highway a while back and were now on a much smaller road lined with tall hedges and completely deserted except for their bus. Alex let a gentle wind wash over his flushed face, closed his eyes, and let himself calm down a bit.

It would be fine.

“Hey,” came a voice behind him, startling him. Alex jumped and looked to see Willie stood beside him, his hair blowing elegantly behind him. Not for the first time, Alex wondered how he managed to look like an angel constantly. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Alex replied, trying to smile. “The roads were getting a little twisty. I’ll just take a minute to cool off. I’m fine, though.”

He leaned back against the cool metal of the tour bus and felt Willie do the same. He could feel Willie’s side pressed against his and his heart starting beating faster at the slight contact. Their fingers brushed gently together and Alex felt a smile tugging at his lips.

“If you don’t want to share a room with me, that’s fine,” Willie said. He rushed the words out as if he didn’t really want to say them, avoiding eye contact until he’d finished speaking. Then he turned to look at Alex – Alex was bad at reading expressions at the best of times, and all he could make out of Willie’s right then was something close to nervousness. He just couldn’t pinpoint why.

“No,” he assured Willie quickly, “I don’t mind. I do. I do want to share with you, I mean. It’s cool. We’re cool.”

“You sure?” Willie asked, sounding unconvinced. “Because the moment Luke mentioned it you freaked.”

Alex felt himself blush faintly. “No, I told you, it was just the roads getting too twisty. I’m not worried about sharing with you, if that’s what you think.”

“So we’re okay?”

“Of course.”

“Great,” Willie said. He beamed, and Alex couldn’t help but smile back. It was impossible not to smile when Willie did. “I’m going to head back onto the bus. Take as long as you need – I don’t think any of us want to clean up after you again.”

“That was one time and it was four years ago,” Alex protested, though he couldn’t help but smile at Willie’s teasing. At that, any nerves he’d had were gone; how could he be worried about being with Willie when doing just that was so easy? “I’ll come back in a minute.”

As Willie disappeared back onto the bus, Alex closed his eyes and leaned his head back again. His panic was replaced with butterflies in his stomach, silly with excitement at the thought of what the night might hold. Not much, he reminded himself, it was just sharing a room with a friend. Still, he suddenly couldn’t wait.

To Luke’s credit, the hotel was amazing. They arrived there in the late afternoon, checked in, and had their luggage taken up to their rooms for them, leaving them free to explore the hotel. The pool looked bigger than the actual building, with six different slides, people zooming out of them gleefully every few moments. They found the restaurant, which was currently preparing for dinner, and the smells wafting from the kitchen were to die for. There were bikes to hire (Julie suggested a group bike ride which led to mixed responses from the others, ranging from Reggie’s immediate enthusiasm to Carrie stating monotonously that she’d rather do literally anything else), an enormous duck pond nearby, and a small cinema which that night was showing some generic action film Alex had never heard of. Overall, Luke had really outdone himself with the booking.

They busied themselves for the rest of the evening, splashing about in the pool (or, in the case of Alex, Willie, and Carrie, relaxing by the side of the pool on the sun-loungers) and spending far too long in the mini arcade that Reggie had stumbled across. Luke hadn’t been wrong about the food either – the staff set out an enormous buffet that had every food Alex could think of. Alex tried to stick to a regular meal because mixing so many different foods felt strange, but Luke’s plate was piled with pizza, curry, and a slab of chocolate cake.

The evening had been so hectic and jam-packed that by the time Alex and Willie bade farewell to the others, he had almost forgotten all his whirring thoughts surrounding the shared room. But by then he was too full and tired to be too bothered anyway. It was just sharing a room with Willie – what could go wrong?

Willie pushed open the door to room seventy-three and entered ahead of Alex, flicking the lights on as he went. Alex was exhausted and his vision slightly blurred as his eyes kept closing, but he could still make out that this room was nothing short of luxurious. There were chocolates on the pillow, complementary tea and biscuits, a bottle of champagne cooling in a bucket of ice, a vase of roses, a flat-screen TV so big it looked as if it would fall off the wall, and a gorgeous king-size bed with rich red satin sheets.

It took Alex far too long to realise that there was something a little off.

He looked around again. Chocolate pillows, tea, biscuits – that was fine, that was normal. Flat-screen TV – expensive, but every hotel room he’d ever stayed at had a television. But champagne, roses, only one bed… Alex felt the pieces click in his mind.

“This is a couples room,” he said.

He was never letting Luke book a hotel ever again.

Willie looked just as bewildered as Alex felt. They had both frozen in the doorway when they saw the room, but now Willie headed in cautiously, picking up the champagne and one rose as if trying to work out whether they were real. He smoothed down the bedsheets, not that they were rumpled, and then turned back to Alex. His expression was infuriatingly neutral and hard to read again.

“Yep,” he agreed, “definitely.”

Alex carefully followed him into the room and looked around. Those old nerves about sharing a room with Willie came back – if they had to share this space then surely it was going to be incredibly awkward. Especially since they weren’t even dating.

“Do you think there’s been some sort of mix-up?” he asked, eyeing the singular bed. It looked invitingly comfortable, and Alex was knackered. He wanted nothing more than to just crawl in and sleep beside Willie as the room was clearly telling them to do. But he couldn’t do that, not if Willie wasn’t comfortable with it, not if there had been a mistake.

“I don’t know,” Willie said, shrugging. “It’s definitely the right room, otherwise the key wouldn’t have worked. I could go and ask at reception if there’s a different room, if you like? With two beds?”

There was something in the way Willie said it that caught Alex’s attention, but he couldn’t identify what it was. But he could see that Willie was watching him carefully, looking for all the world like all he wanted was to make sure the night went well. He thought, Alex realised with a start, that Alex wouldn’t want to share a bed with him. It nearly made Alex laugh, but his nerves stopped him.

He did want to share the bed, but the idea terrified him.

He shrugged, trying to seem indifferent. “If you want. It’s up to you, I don’t mind.”

“You sound like you mind,” Willie countered.

“I don’t.”

They stared at each other for a minute or two, sizing one another up. Alex didn’t want to seem like the idea of sharing a bed with Willie made him uncomfortable, but equally he didn’t want to seem too eager. He wasn’t sure what the middle ground was – indifference maybe? But if he seemed like he didn’t care at all then it could look like he simply didn’t feel one way or the other about Willie.

He decided he was reading too much into it, worrying about it too much. So he was the one to break the silence.

“I don’t mind sharing a bed with you, Willie,” he said. “It’s late and I’m exhausted, I could sleep anywhere right now. And I’m sure you don’t really want to go all the way back downstairs just to ask if they have another room. It won’t make any difference. We can share a bed – we’ll be fine.”

Willie blinked, seeming surprised, but then he smiled lightly. Alex felt his heart flutter despite his exhaustion – it was incredible how Willie could have that effect on him no matter what.

“Okay, hotdog,” Willie agreed, nodding resolutely. Just with the use of the nickname, any tension in the room dissipated. Suddenly they were just two guys about to share a bed and it was completely fine. “You’re right. Let’s get some sleep.”

They took turns getting ready for bed in the bathroom (which was far bigger than a bathroom had any business being, Alex thought) and eventually settled down into the bed, side by side, plenty of room between the two of them. Though the day had been hot, the night had turned cold, and the satin sheets were doing very little to keep them warm. Alex burrowed further into the covers, pulling them up to his chin and trying to settle himself. He was still a little nervous, it would have been impossible to be completely chilled out about the whole situation, but he was too tired to really notice.

There was total silence for a few minutes before Willie quietly said, “You talk in your sleep sometimes.”

Alex turned to his right to face him. Willie was laying on his side, facing Alex, one hand under his head on the pillow and the other hidden by the duvet. The top he wore was oversized and revealed most of his collarbone, his hair was mussed as it spilled out over the pillow, and he had the sweetest little smile on his tired face. Alex, heart hammering, mirrored his position without realising he was doing it, but he did register that his movement brought them much closer together.

“Do I?” he asked, voice low and hushed.

Willie giggled gently, nodding. “Yeah. I’ve heard you on some of our sleepovers.”

“What do I say?”

“Nonsense, mainly,” Willie told him. “But sometimes you talk about the band, that’s always sweet. It’s a change from you calling Luke and Reggie annoying so often. And it’s nice to know you love them really.”

Alex grinned. “Of course I love them. They’re my brothers and Julie’s my sister. Although I am still annoyed at Luke for this whole thing.”

Willie’s expression changed abruptly, from amused to… what was that? Hurt? Had Alex said something wrong without realising it? Oh god, had he just changed the tone of the situation back to awkward?

“I thought you were okay with this,” Willie said. His voice was a different kind of quiet. Small now in a way it hadn’t been before.

“I am,” Alex said quickly. “I’m more than okay with this.”

“Then why are you still angry at Luke?”

“Because he knows how I–”

He stopped himself abruptly. He knows how I feel about you. That had been what he was about to say. The late hour had loosened his tongue and he had almost ruined everything. He stopped, changed course, started again.

“He knows how I get nervous about this kind of thing. If I’d been sharing a room with him and Reg like normal then there wouldn’t have been this whole problem.”

“Why is sharing with me a problem?” Willie asked, brow furrowed in confusion. “Would you have been like this if we were just sharing a room, not a bed?”

Alex opened his mouth but couldn’t think of anything to reply with that wouldn’t prompt further questions. He couldn’t see this night ending well for him at all. It was barely midnight and already he had offended Willie by saying the wrong thing. How was he meant to carry on from this?

“I wouldn’t have been so worried if there were two beds,” he admitted slowly. Willie deflated, nodded, curled into himself slightly. It broke Alex’s heart. “But it’s not because I don’t want to share a bed with you.”

“Then what is it?” Willie asked pleadingly. “Just tell me, Alex – whatever the reason is, it won’t change anything between us. I won’t hate you or anything like that. Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

Alex couldn’t help wondering from that if Willie had already guessed. And if he had then there was no point in pretending anymore. Perhaps he wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t been so tired, his brain working so slowly, but he made his decision then and didn’t back down.

Willie’s hand had come out from beneath the covers and was now resting in the space between them on the mattress. Alex placed his hand over it and linked their fingers. He heard Willie gasp quietly and didn’t stop to think whether that was a good or bad sign.

“Luke knows how I feel about you,” Alex said. His voice wavered nervously and he couldn’t look Willie in the eye, but he still felt a thrill knowing that he was finally saying this, taking an enormous weight off his shoulders. “He knows that I’ve liked you for as long as I’ve known you. He knows how much this could mean to me, but also how nervous I’d be. I don’t know if you feel the same way, Willie. If this is weird or I’m out of order or anything like that then you can tell me to stop talking. I was just nervous because Luke did this, got me this close, without telling me about it and it threw me off. You threw me off. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you or made you uncomfortable. But that’s what’s on my mind.”

Alex finally took his eyes of his and Willie’s interlinked fingers to look Willie in the eye. Willie’s eyes were sparkling, an incredulous half-smile on his face. Alex took that as a good sign.

“Really?” Willie asked.

Alex swallowed heavily and nodded once. “Really.”

Willie said nothing. He just used their intertwined hands to pull himself closer to Alex and rest his head on his chest. Alex was glad his heart was on the other side of his chest, otherwise Willie would have been able to hear how fast it was beating. Willie had thrown an arm over Alex’s waist, holding him close, so Alex’s wrapped his around Willie’s back. He felt Willie sigh contentedly, and on a burst of confidence he pressed the lightest kiss possible to the top of Willie’s head.

“Does this mean you like me too?” Alex asked. He was fairly certain, but it was always good to double check.

Willie chuckled and Alex felt his heart swell with love. “Yeah. I like you too, hotdog.”

“So the couples room worked out after all, I guess,” he joked.

Willie tilted his head to look up at Alex, looking for all the world like an angel on Earth.

“Definitely,” he agreed. “But I think we finally use this bed for its real purpose and get some sleep.”

“Goodnight, Willie.” Alex reached over and flicked off the little bedside lamp, plunging them into total darkness.

“Goodnight, Alex.”

*

Taglist (if you want to be added or removed just let me know): @ace-bookworm @williexmercer @willex-owns-my-heart @itstiger720 @the-reckless-and-the-brave @that-one-newsie @bluedarkness @lookingthroughmirrors @tmp-jatp @salty-star @julieandthequeers @lmaohuh @sunnysbright @sylphrenas

[lukehemss]

( i will follow you into the dark - luke & ashton. )

WHO: luke hemmings & ashton irwin & michael clifford. 

WHEN: 03/13/21 

SUMMARY: luke and ashton have a heart-to-heart after luke wakes up. 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of a car accident, mentions of drunk driving, cursing, hospital setting.

@xash-bloomx & @clifford5sosx

Ashton:  Luke was supposed to be home at midnight.   Now he knew better than to truly count on that.  It could be one or two, but there was also the prospect of dinner, or maybe Ashton just wanted him home.  He tried not to be the clingy boyfriend, but he didn't want to overdo and wake old habits when they went out to party.  He also didn't want to tell Luke what he thought he should do since it was a personal choice.  There were just a lot of things on his mind lately.  He wasn't sure what set him off the way it did when Luke didn't show up, but there was something that felt off.   As time wore on, a cute text became more frantic, and soon he was a ball of panic.  By pure luck he remembered how to use the Find My app to locate his missing boyfriend. He could feel his heart tighten in his chest.  The hospital.  He knew.  There was something, likely the paranoia that came with a missing boyfriend, that told him Luke wasn't a visitor.  Michael had agreed to pick him up as Ashton was making the phone calls to find Luke's room, confirming what he feared the most.   While Mikey tried to convince him that Luke wasn't dead, Ashton's mind was doing a thousand miles an hour, trying to fend off the worst thoughts.  Mikey had to help him in the car. He actually didn't remember the trip to the hospital at all.   He's only remember that it was really one of the first times Michael's car wasn't full of chatter or music.  He stumbled out, dressed in sweats and a hoodie and made it to reception to find the room.  He was informed that visiting hours were over, but since this was a new patient just brought in, they allowed the frantic boyfriend to go down the hall.   Ashton informed the nursing staff immediately that he would be staying.Once he had heard about the injuries and was finally left alone, he pulled up his chair and dropped his head against Luke's for a minute, avoiding the wires and tubes still connecting him to machines.   "I'm sorry," he whispered, not sure why he was apologizing at all.  The tears fell that he'd been holding in.  He was exceptional at keeping his feelings bottled up, but now they weren't about to be contained.  "Why, baby?  I love you.  I do.  You even said that to me.  Why?" He really wasn't going to get an answer very soon.  According to the next nurse to check, the morphine would keep him out for several hours.  Ashton curled up in the chair and she brought a pillow and blanket.  It didn't matter that he was entirely too tall and cramped.  This was home for the duration.  He wasn't sure when he drifted off, fading in and out when the staff wasn't checking up on Luke, but he did manage a little sleep.

Luke: luke was exhausted.it had been approximately fourteen hours since he had arrived at the hospital, a mixture of morphine and other various pain meds keeping him under from the moment he had been wheeled past the ER doors. his nose had been set and his arm had been placed in a sling to keep him from moving and disturbing his broken collarbone. his once flawless face was adorned with stitches, a chest tube settled between his ribs on his naked torso. to say he looked like hell was an understatement, but his appearance was the last of his worries. as he woke, glad the hospital lights had been dimmed, luke’s first worry was alex. his friend had been seriously hurt and it was entirely luke’s fault. the guilt squeezed at his heart, reminding him over and over about how bad the previous night had been. he had fucked up. bad. mouth dry and throat sore, luke could only assume that he had a breathing tube in earlier but it had been removed at some point during the day. thankfully.  “ -- alex?” he mumbled, still hazy from the drugs in his system. blue eyes flickered around the room, circled in a ring of a bruises. yeah, his nose had definitely broke from the impact. “alex?” he lifted his head, careful not to disturb the tubes and wires that wrapped around his body like vines. it wasn’t alex that his gaze settled on, but ashton.fuck. fuck. fuck. if luke didn’t hate himself before, then he did now. “ashton?” he didn’t dare raise his voice above a whisper, afraid that speaking louder would only unleash the wrath he was so afraid of. he deserved it, though. he deserved the anger and the hurt. he knew this. “fuck, ash. i’m so sorry.”

Ashton: Ashton didn't really know about Alex, or that they had been together.  Not that way, but hearing the other name as the first one out of Luke's mouth had an impact that wouldn't be quite evident by his face.  Ashton was the master of hiding pain.  Listen to the album, then look at his face.  The two didn't match, but they did.  A green eye opened under the dark curls that flopped over it.  He brushed it away and sat up.  He swallowed thickly and shoved that lump in his throat back down. "Hey.  You're awake."  He took the unsuspended hand, and held it.  All those tubed looked terrible.  "It's okay."  No, it really wasn't.  "They say you are going to be fine.  The wreck was pretty bad."  He didn't know exactly.  Technically he wasn't family, so they couldn't tell him everything.  "Do you remember what happened?"   He looked down after a moment, unable to handle all of this.  He knew Michael was angry, but he still lurked around the hospital.  Michael was like a sentinel, always the vigilant watchman until it was time to attack.  His presence had helped a lot.

Luke: "i'm awake." luke confirmed, letting his head rest back down against the soft pillows. his head was killing him, a faint throb always present. it would've been so easy to slip back under and let sleep claim him again, but he didn't dare. he wanted to be with ashton. "mmm. i wish i didn't, but yeah. left jack's party and hit a cement pole on the way home." he gave ashton's hand a squeeze, thinking over his next words. luke's main worry, aside from alex and his condition, was ashton's reaction. "i was ... uhm." he paused, swallowing. fuck. luke didn't want there to be any secrets between them, but it killed him to be truthful. "i was drunk behind the wheel."

Ashton: Ashton swiped at his cheek where a stray tear had fallen.  He was angry.  Really he was hurt, but there wasn't much difference.  He was being selfish and stupid and he chastised himself silently.  Of course the hour of sleep that he had dozed off wasn't doing him any favors.  Green eyes stared back at his boyfriend while he chewed the inside of his lip until he tasted blood.  Slowly he let go, and stood and walked to the window.  For a minute, he just couldn't look at Luke.  It was way too much.  He wasn't surprised.  He was more surprised that it hadn't happened sooner, but he was hoping that it would change while things were good between them.  They were both healthy, or in a much better place, so those things would follow.  He was wrong.  He was at a complete loss for words.  "You are going to be fine.  That's the biggest thing, but then what?"

Luke: luke's fingers curled around the open air before he let his hand fall back to his side. there it was -- that moment of abandonment that he feared. he had always been his own worst enemy. emotions were buried in drugs and liquor, keeping himself comfortably numb. he always had to be the life of the party, always had to make sure everyone had their eyes on him. it was finally catching up to him. he watched ashton walk towards the window, silent before he let his own eyes focus on the wires that were taped to the back of his hand. he was nervous, wondering if he'd be leaving the hospital single and more alone than ever. "-- then what?" he frowned, finally glancing up at the back of ashton's head. "then i get to go home. i get to fix this mess."

Ashton: Ashton didn't have any plans on leaving, but he just couldn't look, couldn't touch or anything right now.  He was overloading, but he wasn't going anywhere.  He'd stay, kind of like the Greyhound in his song.  He ran around and around never getting anywhere until Luke broke them up.  He rested panes on the cool glass.   He forced himself to breathe.  "What about me?  What about us?  Didn't we even matter to you?  I swear," he turned to look, catching his breath at the miserable mess that he was, "Were you gonna just leave me like that, or go to jail or what?  Then what?  Do you even think before you do stupid shit what it could do to us, or does it even fucking matter?"  There were tears that came and slipped past the defenses.

Luke: there it was. there was the verbal lashing he had been expecting. luke glanced away, taking in each and every single word. usually such anger would be met with his own, but he didn’t have it in him. ashton had every right to be angry and all luke could do was sit there and take it. “ash...” his chest ached, but not from anything related to his injuries. “i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry.” he could say it until he was blue in the face, but he wasn’t sure it mattered. ashton deserved better. “of course you matter. you’re the only one that matters. i never meant to hurt you. i wasn’t thinking. i—“ anxiety took over, that empty feeling in his chest very present. “i never wanted you to doubt that. i never wanted you to question if i cared. it literally kills me that you are. i just — i understand if you don’t want to be here.”

Ashton:  Ashton looked at him and exhaled, close to a sob that wasn't as hidden as he liked.  "You don't get it, do you?  I'm not leaving.  I love you."  His voice caught and he shook his head.  "I fucking love you.  I can't - ."  His hand was in his hair, pulling down curls to cover tears.  "You're always sorry."

Michael: "Hey," came a voice from the other side.  Michael had two cups of coffee.  He came around the bed to Ashton, seeing the upset in his face.  "Take this.  Go calm down for a few."  He wrapped a large hand around the back of Ashton's head and kissed his forehead.  "Give me a few okay."   Ashton seemed reluctant, but he left, watching Luke every second before he hit the door. "Good morning, Sunshine," Mikey smiled sarcastically.  "What is up with the look on his face?"

Luke: luke knew the arrival of michael wasn’t good news. he knew his friend, knew how he reacted to such situations. he bit his tongue, the familiar taste of blood returning. “he’s upset with me. and understandably so.” he replied, silently trying his best to calm down. it felt like everything was slipping through his fingers, getting closer to tears with each passing second. he needed to relax, needed to remember how to breathe. “how long have you been here?” luke asked after a second, eyes on michael.

Michael:  Michael also looked pretty ragged.  They were the oldest friends.  Michael was the original rebel, the punk that didn't fit in except here with this band.  He was the awkward turtle, but also the protector.   He sipped at the mocha, and rubbed tired eyes.  "He loves you.  You scared the fuck out of him.  You should have seen him though.  He came flying in here.  If I didn't let him out of the car, he was going to jump out and run in on his own.  He was up here before I even came in the door, and he was telling the nurses he was staying the night."   He exhaled and came a little closer.  "I've been around, mostly drinking coffee and doing some puzzles that someone left on a table.  Oh and late night infomercials.  They're great."  He took another drink.  "Now what the fuck would you have done if that was Ashton in the car with you?"

Luke: luke didn’t bother with the other drink, too distracted and distraught to really care. “thank you for driving him.” luke replied, forcing a small smile. he was at least thankful for that much. “why are you asking me that, mikey? i would’ve fucking hated myself for that mistake. you know that.” luke shifted in his bed, uncomfortable with the entire situation. “it wasn’t him and i’m thankful for that. but it was my friend and i’ll have to live with that regret for the rest of my life.” he could feel the emotion building again, hate blooming deep within him. not towards anyone but himself. “i fucked up.”

Michael: "Because I don't believe you," Michael shrugged.  His aloof attitude could rattle people.  He didn't show anger until it exploded and hands were thrown.  "See I thought about him before I got him in a car, or got in a car myself.  I knew he couldn't drive because he wouldn't be paying attention, and all he wanted was to see you."  He shook his head, taking a drink again.  "When do you stop being a selfish prick?  Maybe that's the real question.  You do whatever the fuck and you don't care who you hurt then go back and apologize for your mistake.  Dude, that was a fucking choice, not a mistake.  Your friend could have been Ashton, or Cal, or me.  I wish them the best, but fuck, you just don't fucking get it.   Being sorry doesn't make up for you if that other person is dead because of you.  We all party and get all wasted, but you are just fucking stupid about it."  That was Mikey, blunt and to the point, protective of Ash who was a mental health twin in a way.

Luke: luke didn't know why, but everything always seemed so much worse coming from michael. maybe it was the bluntness of it all. "you're not wrong." he rubbed at his face, careful not to bump any of the stitches. "i get it -- i'm a selfish prick. i ruin everything for everyone, and i'm ruining ashton now. you got your point across, so you can go now." maybe he was being rude and selfish, but he was exhausted. fighting with his band mates was the last thing he wanted right now. "we can argue it out when i get home, mikey. just ... not right now."

Michael: If that was all it took, that would be great, but it wasn't.  Michael was way too stubborn for that.  "Look at you playing the sympathy card.  I ruin everything.  Shut the fuck up and listen.   What you do, all this bullshit, affects all of us.  This band is all I've got, and honestly, it saved me.  My head was never in the best place, and here we are, and I'm doing this good because we've stuck together.  Calum too.   We didn't know about Ashton until after that album then whoa, there's shit going on.  I knew a little but not all.  We all need this, and you give no fucks.  You can decide to give a fuck after you've already fucked up.  Now you lay there and fucking think about it." He was about to walk away and then turned back.  "He really does love you.  He won't leave here until you leave.  You better know what you have.  Sierra and the thing were temporary.  Ashton - you better fucking fix this."  He turned again, "I'm going to check on Alex then I'm going to take a shower."

Luke: luke resisted the urge to roll his eyes, keeping his gaze straight as he listened. michael was right about it all. maybe luke was trying to play the sympathy card, but he hadn’t been lying when he said he was exhausted. he’d been awake for only a short time, but he felt entirely drained both emotionally and physically. “thank you for your input, mikey.” he mumbled, watching as the other headed towards the door. he was slightly happy that his friend was leaving, not quite enjoying being called out and put in his place. “i’ll fix it. i promise.” he would stay true to his word, of course. he wouldn’t lose ashton. he couldn’t.

Ashton: Mikey walked out and combed a hand through his hair.  He leaned against the wall and breathed.  He didn't like being a hard-ass.  Hated it in fact.  He was angry, but deflating fast.  Where were they when he struggled?  Likely right where they always were when he wasn't talking about it.  Fuck it.  He did what he had to do.  He needed to go sleep somewhere.  He'd probably have to find Cal first. "Are you alright?" Ashton asked, looking at the blond who was adjusting the hat on his head. "Good," he said, but the real answer didn't matter anyway.  He'd live.  "He's waiting for you.  Sleep when he sleeps, okay.  I'll text you later." Ashton was back in the room a moment later.  "Hey," he said.  "Looks like you didn't lose any more blood."  With Mikey who knew what would happen.  "The nurse was going to bring you a tray of liquids in a little bit.  She warned me against smuggling in the good stuff."

Luke: the sound of the door opening made luke glance up, not surprised to see ashton had returned. it was nice to have him back, but luke didn’t really have any words. he let himself get comfy, pulling the blankets over his torso. “thankfully. think he wanted to punch me, but maybe he’s saving it for when i get home.” he chuckled, able to find a bit of humour in it all.  “sweet of her. hopefully i can find my appetite for it. if not, at least i’ll be getting a jump start on my tour diet.”

Ashton: Ashton really had needed a minute to just breathe.  All the emotions were swelling, making him want to dive into a bar until he couldn't see straight.  He pulled the chair over and reclaimed the hand that he let go of.  His head leaned against what he could.  He was angry, but he loved his boyfriend, and likely had for years - really had for years.  The last two weeks he'd been so happy, just staying together.  There were concerns, and this brought them all to the front.  They had similar demons, and a deep fear of being left alone, and a very similar crutch in the booze and other things.   "Everyone's got room for Jello," he mumbled.  "I'll help.  Maybe the nurse thought I was cute enough to bring me a tray too."  He tipped his head up to look into blue eyes.  "I'm gonna have Mikey bring back some clothes."

Luke:  there was a sense of relief when ashton took his hand again, emotions extra high. luke had been convinced he was going to be left alone, that his band had truly had enough of his bullshit. he wouldn’t have blamed them for it. everyone needed a little break every now and then. “look at us having a romantic lunch date in the hospital. it’s practically peak romance.” he chuckled, winching a little at the effort. broken ribs really were the most painful thing he ever had to deal with. “think you can talk him into bringing me my toothbrush, comb, and other hygiene stuff too? i feel like hell. maybe a shower will do me some good.” he wasn’t entirely sure how he was meant to shower with his new little body additions, but he would figure it out.

Ashton:  Ashton would have to admit it was strange when he had more time to think about it.  He'd really never been in love.   He'd take breakups with his usual shots at the bar, then he was kind of over it in a very detached way.  Now he found himself sticking like glue.  Yes, he was hurt, but he didn't want to go anywhere.  He wanted to stay, and he wanted them to be okay.  "Oh it's so sexy.  We can share a straw."  He waggled his eyebrows at Luke and his other hand found the curls that showed through bandages and tubes.  "He's pretty stubborn.  I'll have him bring it though.  I get to help with the shower.  I don't want the nurses doing all that.  This body is mine, tubes and everything."

Luke: luke was silent for a moment, watching ashton as he spoke. he had always been fond of the older boy, always looking up to him and seeking his approval. he had been able to convince himself it was because he saw ash as an older brother, but it had obviously been so much bigger and deeper than that. now, sitting together in the silent hospital room, he was finally able to take it all in. he loved ashton. it was different with him than it was with sierra or anyone else. well, yes, sierra did hold a special place in his heart, he wasn't foolish enough to turn a blind eye to the ways that she had ruined him. but ashton was different. ashton was gentle and kind and sweet. he looked at luke in ways that had the lead singer falling head over heels all the fucking time. "can't say it's not original." he smiled, coming back down to earth. he was glad that ashton hadn't left him, his anxious heart slowly settling. one day at a time, one step at a time. they would get through this and come out stronger than ever. "look at you stealing their chance to see me fully nude. bet they're gonna be heartbroken about it." luke teased, the hand in his hair making him visibly relax a little. "you should fully join me. shower might help you relax and feel a little better."

Ashton: Ashton shrugged and smiled as much as he could.  He hated the situation, hated the tubes and wires everywhere.  He was trying to ignore it and ignore the reason he was angry in the first place.  It didn't matter.  "It's pretty sexy.  That straw is getting a lot of tongue," he teased.  He probably didn't need to make Luke laugh, but he tried.  "Hey, I'm not sure that's what we should even do in the shower at this point, not that I don't need one.  I do.  But I think giving you a blood pressure boost is probably not the right thing to do.  I'm going to be there though.  That I promise, breaking hearts one shower at a time."  He stayed right there, both hands occupied.  His face turned serious after a minute.   "I can't lose you, you know.  You can't do this to me again.  Not once."  His voice was barely over a whisper and there was a grittiness to it while he battled another flood of worry.

Luke: he appreciated the light moment, appreciated that ashton was kind of making an attempt to make him laugh. it worked, of course, and a little chuckle escaped his lips, but it quickly died out as the conversation turned serious again. "i'm not going to do it again. i promise, ash." he was determined to stay true to his word, already swearing off liquor and drugs. he could do this. he could keep himself in line and make his band proud. "you don't have to worry about losing me anytime soon. you've got me. i'm here to stay. i know it sounds like a load of shit considering the fact that we're sitting in a hospital room right now, but i mean it. i want to do right by you, ashton. you deserve better than the bullshit i've been pulling these last few years."

Ashton: Ashton smiled sadly.  "I wish you wouldn't but I'm not sure you won't."  That was just the truth.  Trust was earned, not free.  He trusted Luke in a lot of things, but not this.  "I need you to try.  You know how much it would hurt if you weren't here?  Mikey, Calum, me -- we wouldn't be us without you."  He bit his lip.  "Sometimes I wonder how much I matter to you because you just go away like this.  I'm trying to be healthier, but I want to do it together.  I wouldn't be healthier without you.  I'd be worse."   He was worried that Luke might push him away, or think he was bad for Ashton who was managing his own recovery.  "I don't want to have to be okay without you."

Luke: "can i ask you something? and i want you to be one-hundred percent honest with me." fuck it. might as well rip the bandage off now. luke was determined to be the best version of himself, but it was growing increasingly clear that nobody really had faith of him. did he blame them? well, no, because this was his biggest fuck up yet. he made a horrible choice and it resulted in horrible consequences. taking a deep breath, he did his best to keep the self-deprecating thoughts at bay, nervous about falling back into that familiar dark place. his fingers twitched, resisting the urge to pull his hand away. "do you even trust me at all? it's fine if you don't and i understand if that's the case. i'm just ... curious."

Ashton: Ashton sighed, but looked at him.  It was important to see someone's eyes when you are saying something important.  "Yeah, I do, most of the time, except stuff like this."  He gripped curls a little harder just to draw attention.  "I've been through bottles, done a lot of stupid shit that none of you know about.  I thought I was being so sly for a lot of years.  When you dropped on my doorstep, I was wrecking day by day on my own, but you needed me, and in a way you pulled me out and I had to be a better man.  That sounds like a song someone sang."  His own - Scar.  "I had to pull myself together not only for me, but for you.  I know how amazing you could be if you wanted to.  I know I can't give up on you, and I won't.  I just wish you'd think of me sometimes instead of the next drink."

Luke: luke noticed the tight grip in his curls and said nothing of it. the moment was tense, his heart beating furiously as ashton spoke. he knew this little confrontation was needed. ashton had a complicated history with alcohol, one that had been planted from a young age, and luke hated that he had added to it. sometimes it was easier to replace emotions with vodka, letting the alcohol numb him and keep him from having to deal with anything. it was a cheap way out. "i'm not going to argue it. i know i'm quite .... messy when it comes to drinking. always being cut off and dragged home. i just -- i never meant for it to go this deep." the confidence he usually held had faded, blue eyes flooded with tears that he refused to shed. "i'm sorry, ashton. i can sit here and promise that i'll do better, but i know it won't matter until you actually see it happen. i'm going to stay true to my word. no more drunk nights. no more putting you after whatever drink i'm going to have next. i promise. i really fuckin' promise."

Ashton: "I know you promise."  Ashton was staying right there.  He was showing him that he wasn't going to run.  "It was funny that when you came, I was pretty low.  I needed something to focus on other than all my bullshit and you were there.  I could focus on what you needed, and heal myself at the same time.  You didn't need to know all that, but I did.   Taking care of you helped me."  He leaned in as far as he could, and kissed his forehead.  "I started writing my album then.  I didn't do all of it, but I started.  I wanted to be that for you.  I wanted to be that one that kind of gave you enough so you could start to come out of all that.  I need you to be okay."   A rogue tear slipped out.   He knew he didn't quite believe all the promises.  Hell, he'd promised himself that long before he'd toned it way down and he'd broken all the promises.  "I want us to be okay.  Not just as us, but all of it."

Luke: luke sighed, a feeling of defeat washing over him. maybe it was just the overall exhaustion of going through something so traumatic. "you liked taking care of me?" a frown crossed his lips, surprised at the little confession. he didn't know why it was so surprising, but it was. "i mean -- why? i was never really any fun to be around. always crying about the end of things and how fucking shitty it turned out to be." he shook his head at the thought of it all. luke hated his low moments, hated that he usually dragged someone down with him. "don't get me wrong, though. i appreciate that you took care of me and let me stay with you. it's truly the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." he reached for the hand in his hair, taking it into his own. "we'll get better. one step at a time, ash. now kiss me again."

Ashton: "I did.  I needed that, and I really needed to be needed.  I also wanted you to be okay.  When you were feeling better, so was I."  He hadn't minded in the slightest.  It wasn't an invasion on his life, not that he really had one at the time.  "It wasn't a burden at all.  I'd do it all again, and I don't even have to think about it."  Ashton would consider this a much lower moment than that, and obviously he was now going to do it again.  He leaned in and kissed him again as told.  "I can't wait until we lose some of these machines.  They are in the way."

Luke: "you're too good to me." it was a simple statement that held so much truth to it. luke had never really been the best person around. always so caught up in his own devices and his own plans. he was just grateful that ashton was willing to take a chance on him then....  and now. he probably didn't deserve it. "it was nice living with you the first time. i'm glad we're doing it again. we've got a place together, a dog -- i don't want to be the one to fuck that up." he smiled at the kiss, feeling a little better with each passing second. well, emotionally. "mmm. fingers crossed that they take a few off on their next rounds."

Ashton: "I know," Ashton teased, and to him it was just a tease.  "I know it's not going to be easy, and I'm not going to try to control you, or make you do what you don't want to do.  I'm going to help with whatever you need."  They had a place together and a dog, almost two dogs, and likely would once Luke was back to moving around again.  Those good moments had become priceless to Ashton.  "Yeah, you better not.  We have another dog on the way.  We have to take care of them."  He considered the space for a moment.  "Maybe if they move enough of them I could fit up there with you."   It was likely not allowed, nor could the bed accommodate two six foot tall boys, but it was a nice idea.

Luke: "another dog on the way." luke chuckled, already knowing that petunia was going to hate it. she was much too spoiled to share, but that was all going to change. "makes it sounds like we're expecting a child or something. it's cute." he really couldn't wait until he was released and reunited with his dog again. something about the animal always made luke feel better, petunia proving to be 'home' for him. "i could move over and you could take up the space on my good side? i mean, i should be getting the green light to go home tomorrow, so we'll be back to sharing a bed soon enough. thankfully. hospital beds are by far the worst beds i've ever had to lay in, and that's saying a lot considering how many hotel beds i've slept in. i'm sure you know that, though."

Ashton: "Have you ever tried a chair?  This chair is way too small even if it reclines a little."   It was an older recliner, not in the best shape.  Ashton managed with legs hanging off the end.  He'd probably be stuck over there again.  "We are expecting another, so you better behave yourself, Mister.  We have a growing family."  He'd have to text the boys and have them make sure Petunia was fed and let outside.  Mikey might have done that already, but he didn't know if he had a key.  "I could probably get up there for awhile.  Talk puppies, and stuff."  It might not be the best idea until some of the hookups were removed, so he was patient.

Luke: “i’d rather the floor. looks way more comfy to me.” however, depending on certain things, luke knew the broken collarbone might have him sleeping in a recliner for a few weeks. lame. “i’ll be on my best behaviour. for you, the new addition, the band, and tour.” he wasn’t going to promise it, but that part really went unsaid at this point. “any names for the dog in mind?” luke asked, happy for the small talk. he was calm, relaxed. any tension had left his body, just happy to be having a conversation where someone wasn’t yelling at him.

Ashton: "We can do one more night.  It will make our bed that much better when we get home," Ash told him.  If he needed the incline, Ash would go buy one from the medical supply store.  That way they could sleep snuggled up.  It was funny how quick he adjusted to having someone there every night and had no desire to sleep alone.   He just nodded and continued the affections that came with the relief that his boyfriend would be okay.  There would be consequences, but they were fine.  He'd wait and see on the rest and hope Luke could do it for himself and for them.  "I'd love to name one Kitty.  Is that overdone too much."

Luke: "gonna have to keep petunia off the bed for a bit. you know how she loves to be a spoiled baby and wake us up." luke smiled at the thought. he was already longing to go home, hating the hospital setting and the heavy cloud that hung over his head. was he stupid enough to think that it would go away upon his release? no, but that didn't stop him from thinking about it. "a dog named kitty? i like it. don't think i've ever met one with that name before, so i'm gonna say no to it being overdone. it's cute, original." he let himself get comfy, careful of everything connected to him. "thanks for coming, ash. it's nice having you here." he mumbled, words soft and just above a whisper as though their perfect little moment would be ruined if anyone heard them. "i love you. maybe it's too soon to say it, but it's how i feel. you don't have to say it back. i just ... -- it feels right to me."

Ashton: "You tell her that.  Good luck."  That dog had a mind of her own.  She was lazy, but persistent when she wanted something, and if they were sleeping, they couldn't stop her.  He couldn't wait to go home, even if he wasn't in the bed he was here for all of it.  "I think a dog named Kitty is perfect.  Here Kitty!"  It was cute.  Of course the name would have to fit the dog. "I've seen it twice."  He shook his head and almost missed the words.  Luke didn't have to thank him, like somehow it was a choice.  He HAD to come, it was that simple.  He didn't miss them though.  "Not too soon," he whispered back, eyes bright as they could be on no sleep.  "I love you, too.  We've known each other forever anyway, but yeah."  Now he felt awake and happy.  They would have a lot to face, but they could do it.

[atamascolily]

Metaphors vs. world-building in Star Wars landscapes: a ramble

Readers of my fics will know I am a big believer in the idea of the landscape as a reflection of the inner life of my characters. They also know I'm fond of "layers," which is my term for plot and character decisions that resonate on both literal and symbolic levels, and draw on archetypes and references that I find interesting and meaningful. One of the reasons I enjoy playing in the Star Wars sandbox is that the original trilogy really GETS that; one of the major reasons why I think the franchise is so popular is that it taps all this other stuff on both conscious and subconscious levels.... and this is especially true when it comes to landscapes.

Take Dagobah, a swamp planet shrouded in mists. As he struggles with his training in The Empire Strikes Back, Luke is literally bogged down, trapped in a landscape where his vision is obscured and nothing--from the tiny creature who turns out to be the teacher he was searching for to Darth Vader himself--is what it appears to be.

At the same time that Luke is struggling on Dagobah in ESB, Han and Leia are having their own struggles with illusion and deception on on the gas giant Bespin. Cloud City is literally a "castle in the air," beautiful in appearance but lacking any grounding--as a dis-armed Luke literally discovers when hanging suspended from what passes for foundations.

(As an aside, I appreciate Luke's "fall from grace" during his fight with Vader, and its parallels to the myth of Icarus. Icarus ignored the warnings and flew too close to the sun, only to die because his father couldn't reach him in time; Luke ignores the warnings and confronts Vader, only to deliberately refuse his father's outstretched hand. I don't know if the filmmakers consciously intended that parallel, but they nailed it.)

Yet by the time Luke returns to Dagobah in Return of the Jedi, the ubiquitous mist has vanished, and he is able to walk through the swamp in knee-high black boots without a speck of mud on him. The "veil" over his eyes has been lifted both literally and metaphorically--he now knows the truth about his father, and has accepted it.

We all know that world-building in Star Wars ranges from mediocre to non-existent, but there’s very little in any of the OT landscapes that seems grossly out of place within the context of the films themselves. The same is not true for the ST, where the filmmakers toss the world-building out the window and just go with what looks/seems the coolest (*cough* Starkiller Base *cough cough*).

In The Last Jedi, the Ahch-To sequences are supposed to parallel what we've seen in ESB of Luke's own training under Yoda. The filmmakers chose to site Ahch-To on Skellig Michael, a World Heritage site off the Irish coast, which works great on a metaphorical level. At the same time, they claim “Temple Island” be the site of the original Jedi Temple--which was a poor choice from a world-building perspective. 

Just as the island is a lonely, rocky peak emerging from the ocean, so is Luke, tucked away in his self-imposed exile. I hate that nu!canon did that to him, but metaphorically it checks out. Just as Christianity survived in large part due to small, isolated outposts like Skellig Michael, so too have the Jedi been reduced to this final bastion. Luke's decision to self-isolate makes no sense in a larger context, but the symbolism is clear and consistent. 

Because of this, the Ahch-To sequences are the most visually compelling in the entire movie for me. I like the juxtaposition of Rey, a desert child, literally out of her depth in the cave sequence--although I would have had her "vision" arise from staring at her reflection in the water as opposed to an actual mirror, because, you know, METAPHOR.

On the surface, Skellig Michael seems like a reasonable choice from a world-building perspective. It's home to a famous Gaelic Christian monastery founded somewhere between the 6th and 8th centuries. Since the Jedi are envisioned in the PT as space warrior-monks (retconned from the samurai analogues they are strongly implied to be in A New Hope), a monastery seems like a good fit for them, right? Well, yes, and no.

The problem is when nu!canon tries to claim that this is the home of the first Jedi temple--because that doesn't make sense from a logistical OR metaphorical perspective.

Historically, there were only 12 monks and an abbot living at the Skellig Michael monastery at any given time. I'm sure some of the Jedi could have doubled up, but there's still only so many people the island can support, unless their food is coming from elsewhere (From the Lanai? From somewhere else? who? what? how?) And where did those Jedi come from? Were they born on the island? Were they all related? Why did they build their temple THERE as opposed to some other place? How did they get off the island and into the stars? What was their tech level like, given that all we see of them (books, architecture, etc) is very low-tech to begin with?

To be fair, it may well be that Ahch-To is far more variable than the single-biome worlds we see elsewhere in Star Wars, but...do we see any of this, ever? NOPE. And the whole point of using Skellig Michael is to visually explore how little the Jedi Order has changed over the centuries... even their stonework is still there, thanks to the Caretakers (note that Rey, the disrupter, keeps knocking them down because METAPHOR), so I feel like it's okay to say that other things were probably the same however long ago the Jedi Order arose (which nu!canon is kinda vague about).

There is one reason why you'd build a temple there, though--and it has to do with the "Jedi as space mariners and star navigators" motif that nu!canon has been building up as a precursor to its High Republic mode. The temple site is literally a lighthouse, perched over the ocean, with the sun streaming in along the floor in a way meant to evoke ancient devices for measuring the arc of the sun. And I bet it has a fantastic view of the stars--perfect for people whose books are filled with geometrical depictions of planetary orbits and carry star compasses attuned to the Force.

But the FIRST Jedi temple? The first ever?? This I very much doubt, any more than Christianity itself originated at the Skellig Michael monastery. Not without a hell of a lot more world-building than they've ever bothered to show us.

Nu!Canon also tries to tell us that Ahch-To is the original homeworld for the uneti trees, which again, is fucking ridiculous without a little more world-building given that SKELLIG MICHAEL HAS NO TREES and the only one that we see in TLJ is ALREADY DEAD. This works well as a metaphor--the Jedi are a literal dead end, one that must be burned to rise like a phoenix from the ashes--but makes no sense from a world-building perspective.

I'd believe it if you told me the Jedi had come to the island to build their temple-monastery-observatory and planted the tree there from elsewhere. But they didn't do that, and it drives me crazy, because it was so easy for them to make it make sense and they didn't bother to think it through.  

I think it was Philip Pullman who said, "Never make a metaphor do the work of a fact," when someone asked him about how/if daemons eat. Trying to make functional ecologies out of metaphor is probably a futile task doomed to failure... but some ideas are easier to work with than others and the best settings (in my opinion) exist as both.

I guess we'll put this down as yet another reason nu!canon doesn't work for me.

[vincevanbro]

two worlds ✘ becky

TAGGING → Becky Baker, Vince Bell, Special Mention: The Baker Matriarch

TIMEFRAME → Spring Break

LOCATION → Florida

NOTES → A visit to Becky’s grandparents goes terribly wrong, and for the first time since meeting Vince and Becky are forced to recognize the vast differences in their upbringing. 

Becky: After getting settled in, she had to make sure she was looking her finest. In front of the Baker grandparents it was almost like a sin if you weren't dressed well. Now that she was in her dress and all dolled up, she comes out of the bathroom and looks at Vince. She had told him to at least pack a pair of casual clothing with him. "You ready? I told my grandma we'd be there in like an hour. It's super important that we're on time." Becky said. If Vince couldn't already tell, Becky was stressing out. Her grandparents weren't the nicest folks around and that's why she warned Vince beforehand.

Vince: becky’s in rare form today, checking and re-checking her appearance in the mirror, making sure his tie is fixed up just right. (a tie, for something as simple as a family gathering) and he’s starting to wonder just what kind of lion’s den he’s about to walk into. “okay, okay, i’m ready” he replies, running a hand over his crisp cut as he takes one final glance at the mirror. they pile out of the hotel and into the car he rented, and he senses a tenseness from becky next to him. “is everything..good?” he asks finally, thick eyebrows furrowing in confusion. afterall, how much trouble could two little old people be?

The Baker Matriarch: She sat on the front porch of the home that she shared with her husband — the same one that she had raised her son in and then later on her grandchildren would visit. She was happy that her granddaughter, her pride and joy, was visiting her again. It was a joyous occasion, and knowing her Becky, she would enlighten her as to why her grandson didn't do the same. Barbara Baker was a sucker for baking pies, turning her head in time to smell the cinnamon and sweetness of the apples that sat on the windowsill, her husband stepping outside as she held a cup of coffee — his fourth one no doubt. "Our little sunshine daisy will be here soon, birdie," he reassured her, even though he was watching for the moment that she would arrive, too.

Becky: Once the two of them got into the rental car, Becky bites down on her lower lip as Vince asks if she's good. Clearly she wasn't considering just how many time she checked her appearance in the mirror before the two of them left. Looking over at Vince she couldn't help but smile as she looked him up and down. He really did clean up nicely. "I did something bad." Becky said as she looked away from him her smile fading. She just hoped that Vince would forgive her after all this. "I didn't tell my grandma you were coming. I know I should have, but my grandparents are super religious and that's why I warned you about the fact that they can be rude too. I was just scared that my grandma would have said no to you coming if I mentioned you on the phone." Becky said. She starts to fiddle with the hem of her dress as she waits for him to respond to her confession.

Vince: “why..wouldn’t you?” he doesn’t get nervous, and now is no exception. he’s dealt with rude and far worse. but there’s a certain prickle in his chest, a certain something he can’t place that makes him feel that maybe she’s a little ashamed of him. something he hasn’t felt with becky ever before. still, he allows himself to portray no particular emotion, just straightens up and tightens his grip on the wheel because they’re approaching the long winding driveway, littered with palm trees on each side, and a few little garden gnomes. the vision of what a visit to the grandparents was supposed to be, sweet and warm. so why does he feel like he’s walking into some kind of trap. “alright—“ he sighs as we switches the ignition off, because there’s no turning back now. “let’s go”

The Baker Matriarch: The sight of a car caused her push herself up off of the porch swing, her husband's hand holding hers as they moved closer to the edge of the wrap-around porch that encircled their home. Eyes that mirrored her granddaughter's gazed upon the car and were full of excitement. She stood there waiting as Becky's grandfather left her side to go open the car door for her. He loved Becky as much as he loved Luke, but there was something about his granddaughter that sat differently with him. Boys his grandson's age were independent and rough around the edges whereas Becky had remained wholesome and never strayed off of the path that God had carved out for her. For that, he was truly blessed. Walking towards the car, he realized that she wasn't alone. In fact, he was taken aback at the sight of a coloured boy sitting in the driver's seat, opening Becky's door. "Did your father pay for somebody to drive you out here?" he inquired, slightly concerned but more elated to see his granddaughter again.

Becky: "Only because of how they are." Becky said. When they arrived at her grandparents house, she let out a sigh before looking over at Vince and nods. When her grandpa came and opened up her door, she simply sighs at what her grandpa had already asked the second that he saw Vince next to her. "No. There's someone I want you two to meet." Becky said as she looks over at Vince with a smile as he gets out of the vehicle. "This is Vince Bell he's actually my boyfriend." Becky admits. She knows it'll come as a shock to her grandparents, but she wasn't ashamed to introduce Vince as her boyfriend.

Vince: in a span of seconds he hops out and crosses the few yards of space between his door and becky’s. and as if on cue, her grandparents come padding out of the house, seemingly innocent and sweet enough. he smiles, because he’s not an animal. and they’re literally within the first few seconds but so far so good, the day is bright, and becky looks beautiful, and did he hear that correctly? dark hues narrow just slightly, even though his gaze remains on becky who seemingly brushes it off, doesn’t think much of it. why would she? it’s a subtle and underhanded remark, but it’s that tone, that inmistakable condescending air that he’s encountered too many times before. “nice to meet you--” he nods, lips pulling into a taught smile.

The Baker Matriarch: Barbara didn't understand what was happening, her husband and Becky being too far away, but then another person emerged from inside of the car, causing her to straighten her spine. She watched as the two people she loved the most turn towards her, her husbands eyes holding a look that she can't place, soft blue orbs trying to decipher the unspoken message. Who was the coloured boy following behind them? Becky looked as beautiful as ever, her husband holding fast to his granddaughter as they greet her on the porch. "Rebecca," she coos softly, arms reaching out to wrap her baby up in them, a happy, breathy laughter rushing from her lungs as she sways back and forth with her granddaughter nestled in her arms. "Did your daddy finally buckle down and take your granddaddies' advice about a handservant? He cleans up nicely," she says, waving it off as it wasn't encouraged to compliment the help. "Birdie," her husband counters, shaking his head as if to say 'Don't, that's not what this is'.

Becky: Becky couldn't believe this. It was one thing for them to be rude, but the fact that they weren't even acknowledging that Vince had spoken to them? That didn't sit well with Becky. The young girl shifts uncomfortably in her grandmothers arms for the first time. They weren't listening to her and they definitely weren't being nice to Vince just like Becky had thought in the first place. Becky removes herself from her grandmothers arms and looks at her. "You didn't just call him that." Becky said as she walks over toward Vince. Letting her hand intertwine with his as she glares at her grandma. "Like I said before he's my boyfriend. He's not a servant and he never will be." Becky said already standing up for her boyfriend.

Vince:  is known perhaps for one thing, not his wicked jump shot, not the crisp clean kicks he wears to school. not his low fade, or dry humor, or even the fact that he’s the heir to entire drug cartel. but his temper. and he let the first snide remark from these racist pricks slide, but he’ll be damned if he allows them to get over on him with a second. “damn, i knew it felt like 1954 in here--” he chuckles dryly, holds tightly to becky’s hand. “look i don’t want no trouble becks. we can go”

The Baker Matriarch: didn’t know how to react. She remembered a time when she had fallen in love with a coloured boy, and her daddy had forbade her to see him. She didn’t necessarily care what colour her granddaughter’s suitors had ( or in this case, her boyfriend ), but she did care about her virtue and stood solid on the belief that it was to remain intact until Becky was married. Vince seemed to care about her, and the headstrong girl didn’t appear like she would allow any wiggle room in regards to this specific union. Barbara looked at her husband. He knew about her past. He knew what kind of hateful man his father-in-law had been, rest is soul, but if she knew anything, people like that didn’t earn everlasting life through acts like the one she was showcasing right now. Her granddaughter was everything that she wasn’t, and she prayed that she never lost her fire. “Will you two come inside for tea?” she asked then, joining her husband at his side who placed his palm against the small of her back to help guide her inside their home.

Becky: When Vince held onto her hand tighter she couldn't help but smile a little. Now she was thinking that maybe it was a good idea for the two of them to just leave. Seeing as she didn't want Vince to have to continue to get ridiculed for being who he was. Though when her grandma asks if the two of them would come inside for tea she glances at Vince. "That'll be his call." Becky said as she squeezes Vince's hand. She didn't want him to feel like he had to say yes and she definitely didn't want him to feel like he was walking into more of a trap. All the sudden her grandma was just going to let the two of them come inside? She wasn't so sure of this anymore.

Vince: he can’t figure out this lady’s angle. one minute she’s referring to him as a “colored boy” in 2020, and the next she wants him to join them for tea? fat chance. vince’s expression is cold, and he doesn’t need to stick around to see this woman’s true colors any longer. “nah I’m good” he replies dismissively, taking her sudden change of heart as feigned politeness and turning his back on her grandparents and their sunny villa, but not without a few parting words. “you can keep your tea and crumpets and kiss my black ass” he says loud enough for the neighbors to hear, and anyone else that needs the message.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x15 Reaction / Commentary

........who died and made her queen? Literally no one finds it weird that the newby from a day ago holds announcements and motivational speeches? And I thought vampires don't like swift changes. Guess that was racist of me.

..................?? Literally who has ever denied the vampires entry? Except maybe the shadowhunters to their Institute and the werewolves to their home-restaurant? So she's basically saying “If anyone doesn't want us in their private homes we'll break and enter!” How is no one calling her out on how stupid that is??

hahaha how long did she work on that line?

........? Why? Because up until this point I was under the impression that the Accords where strictly restricted to governing the border between shadow world and mundanes, keeping them separate and protecting mundanes from demon and downworlder attacks alike.

If you care to remember, the whole mess with helping-save-Luke / not-helping-save-Luke in season 1 happens because Alec says shadowhunters aren't allowed to interfere in downworlder affairs, hence saving Luke would be seen as shadowhunters meddling in downworlder business which isn't a thing shadowhunters are allowed to do. It's why him going to lend Magnus his magic to save Luke was a Big Deal for him, because it was basically breaking the rules. It's why he was so against Jace and Clary helping Luke in the first place, because interfering is – at least the way I understood that! – a breach of the Accords, which grant downworlders the right to govern themselves.

In basically all other situations where there are conflicts between downworlders we don't see shadowhunters interfere: Luke beating Taito-or-however-he-was-called into submission, Camille being put into a coffin in the DuMort's cellar indefinitely for reasons. I'd even let myself be convinced that these might be exceptions, since those are ritualized thingies where downworlders decide who gets to rule, and so the shadowhunters aren't allowed to interfere even if their respective election systems consist of battle to the death / whoever wants to revolt revolts.

But how do you then explain all the other instances: Simon getting that Glen werewolf guy into a wheelchair and never facing any consequences except Luke scolding him a little, Simon fighting to the death with Quinn which never gets investigated, and don't even get me started on the seelie queen because she does shit however she wants to whoever she wants, kidnapping random werewolves and holding them hostage, putting marks of cains on unsuspecting daylighters, openly siding with Valentine, etc. and no shadowhunter ever cares about any of this! Not to mention that when Jace first encounters Jordan, he clearly recognizes his authority as Praetor and withdraws, indicating that the Praetor are an established and known organisation who deal with downworder affairs, and shadowhunters have to steer clear of them. Even Kaelie who murdered shadowhunters wasn't sentenced by shadowhunters! She was transfered back to the seelie court after she was captured and the seelie queen dealt with her as she saw fit. To me that simply fortifies that shadowhunters don't govern downworlder-downworlder-relations. If they don't even govern downworlder-shadowhunter-relations.

Besides, if shadowhunters really were supposed to police downworlder-downworlder-relations then please explain to me why the hell it's always treated like an invasion and an insolence if a downworlder dares to come close to the Institute? I mean, shouldn't there be a contact point for them to get in touch with their executive forces? Wtf??

So I guess this is just a random curveball the show throws my way to make this episode's plot work. And really, this is bullshit. I can't accept this. It's one thing to bend and twist portal travel and magic because, whatever, it's magic. But to just 100% turn around their entire frikkin legal system is not something you can just do! No!!

He 100% nicked that horse statue thingy from Magnus's loft to make him feel more at home in his room.

Also, I get that this is a cute parallel with the orange juice, but I also get that this is the show again depriving me of seeing Magnus and Alec actually waking up in bed together and it's NOT OKAY. I just want to finally see Alec “Little Spoon” Lightwood in action, is that too much to ask? Apparently -.-

Also, I have questions. If Alec is just putting on his day clothes.... did he go fetch Magnus's orange juice bare-chested? In his pyjama??? Does he have one with little bows and arrows? I need answers!!!

Rude hahaha, as if living with Magnus was a strenuous, orange-juice-less experience. Kidding, I know he's trying to make living at the Institute palatable to Magnus, quite literally.

I know I wasn't the only one who had severe Pirates of the Caribbean flashbacks at that because after the sneak peek aired I saw a gifset pointing out the parallel XD

Also

MAGNUS'S FACE Btw I think it's sweet that Alec spouts reassurances none of them buys just to make Magnus feel comfortable. Just like it's sweet that he brings Magnus a glass of orange juice that they both proceed to ignore, and to add insult to injury, Magnus gets himself a new one later. Rude.

Okay, so the runes we see here are the nourishment rune (blue), the sharing rune (green) and of course the stamina rune (yellow).... so shadowhunters know to eat real hard. And also... those two tiny tables are supposed to be enough to sustain all those people? With only drinks? Is this some perfidious game where shadowhunters just get drinks and need to feed themselves with nourishment runes? Barbaric.

Yeah I'm in the mood for pancakes now, too, thanks.

I'd like to repeat my question from last episode: If Sentry Guy wasn't planning for his untimely demise, how the hell did he want to hand over that data chip?

Okay but do you realize how amazing and hilarious that is? Because Izzy just came from the serving counter. If she wanted bacon she could have gotten some. But she didn't. To me this looks like routinely stolen food, maybe even just because it's on Jace's plate. This is something that happens regularly and I love it. Need more sibling-y Jace&Izzy interactions honestly!

Also? Izzy missing the piece of bacon on the first try hahaha <3<3<3

Can we please take a moment to appreciate Magnus's absolutely disgusted face and the fact that he carrys that tray with minimal finger contact? Hilarious.

1) I too was wondering why they didn't just go out for breakfast to avoid this situation, so I'm glad they mention that this option has crossed the protagonists' minds as well. 2) Why do they already have beverages on their trays when the refreshment tables with the glasses are off to the side? Possibly so they don't have to run around stupidly?

!!!!!!!!!What other food events are there??????? I need to know okay!!! Also, I think we can all agree that Alec isn't in it for the pancakes but to Prove A Point.

Also, quick question: Who the hell mans the serving counter, who cooks, who cleans the dishes, who buys groceries, who--- etc.

You know what I was just wondering? This is a new outfit, right? Has he moved all of his clothes to Alec's room? Or are they still in this apartment? What's Lorenzo gonna do with all that stuff? And also, do they really expect me to believe Magnus only had this one apartment and literally no other home anywhere? He couldn't have rune!portaled literally anywhere else? He couldn't have stayed with the ever elusive Catarina? Or crashed on Luke's couch since he's not currently using his apartment, being in jail and all? (Though to be fair, we never actually see Luke's apartment so who knows if it even exists? Since they kind of pretend that all werewolves live at the Jade Wolf.) Magnus couldn't have gotten a hotel? I mean he has cash, right? But sure. I'm totally buying that this was the absolutely only option he had.

Izzy is the best and I love her.

So is he supposed to step in as racist, now that Raj is gone? Cuz that'd be unrealistic. I'd buy it if he's miffed that Alec didn't tell him about this, since he's Head of Security and all and could have helped but istg if he reacts badly to Magnus being there I'm gonna flip my shit because Underhill totally ships Malec, okay, why would he react badly?? I'm anxious okay.

“They don't see a lot of warlocks in here.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG the sass!!!!!

I noticed this in the sneak peek already and honestly, I think the shadowhunters are just angry Magnus is there because he gets to eat fancier stuff than they. I mean, look at him! He even changed the shape of the glass because he's so extra. Love him.

Hahahaha who doesn't want to get a call from jail over breakfast from their father figure. Also I feel like those roles should be reversed XD

I mean, I get it. But thanks, Luke, for not relaying the crucial detail that this was Heidi or at least that Maia is still alive and to contact her for further info since he's in jail, and thus enabling everything that follows. It's not like he told Simon and Maia to drive off with Jordan because he'd handle filling in the Institute on all that happened. Honestly. He's like that one guy in group projects who says he'd do something and then just.. doesn't.

..............................................why Look I don't have the energy to rage about this but wtf Luke. If you think anyone would buy all those fang marks being caused by one person alone, then why not try to get the actual culprit to be imprisoned? Or at least, idk, investigated after to gain some time? Honestly. It's like he wants to go to jail.

Hahahaha okay this is too good an opportunity to pass up, so please go read the dumb drabble I wrote about this exact situation shortly after 3A aired. It's here.

Btw I wanna see that verdict. Because Luke's prints sure as hell aren't on the corpses, and keep in mind any forensic worth a damn should be able to notice that those people died half a day before Luke was found on the site of the crime. Not to mention that since Luke frequented the Jade Wolf it's not exactly surprising he'd want to check up on all his homies there. Not to mention he has zero motive (since his fallout with the pack is so recent nobody not involved would have noticed). And not to mention that he wouldn't even have had time to kill all those people in the 3 minutes after he arrived at the Jade Wolf and before his surveillance team caught up to him. Just, sigh.

Edit: Wow actually they're gonna find his prints all over the corpses because Luke, in his unending wisdom, touched them all to close their eyes. It's like he learned nothing in How To Not Get Imprisoned For Crimes You Didn't Commit 101.

Great Scene. Very relatable.

Though I gotta say I never got the feeling Maia particularly liked any of her packmates since we always only saw them hating on her for dating a vampire and being general idiots, but I'm gonna ignore that right now. It's easily arguable that their happy pack life together wasn't shown because it wasn't relevant to the plot.

And also.... how did they find the Praetor? Isn't their location top secret? How should I imagine that? Was Jordan lying in the backseat half dead, shouting instructions “Turn left now!! No, not your left, my left! Turn right dammit!!” Wtf.

RIGHT BACK AT YOU IZZY FFS. *sigh* Okayyyyy technically Clary killed him, but Izzy didn't react with all the indignated outrage she displays now and I vividly remember this and I already ranted about this at length after 3x04 aired. I'm so done with her attitude on this.

Since when does Alec accept the “I wasn't in control” excuse? Either you were in control, then you go to jail. Or you weren't, then you go in a holding cell because you're an unpredictable danger. In no scenario do you get a free pass. Wtf.

??????????? You get talked into crossing against a red light, not into a frikkin sadistic hostage-taking, what the actual hell???? Why does Alec buy that???? Is he stupid????

...................................wtf Alec I hoped you'd do better this episode, but apparently not?? I mean, not investigating anything, just taking random person at her word, not even taking the time to talk with Izzy – even worse, showing in front of a third party that he didn't know about the Raphael* thing – and finally, basically him making that offer half-felt like he was trying to get back at Izzy for her keeping secrets from him? Wtf Alec? Wtf? And also, since the only werewolves left are Luke (currently in jail), Maia (currently missing in action) and Bat (currently at home like the neat little werewolf armcandy that he is) it's really not like Alec is under time pressure to get the vampires who killed all the werewolves behind bars. What's gonna happen if he takes a few hours to investigate properly? There is literally no risk of a war breaking out between werewolves and vampires since there are basically no werewolves left. Wtf Alec, I just robbed you of your already super flimsy excuse for your behavior, so please. Explain yourself. It's as if he wants to make up for last week's inaction by making super swift decisions. Wtf. If this is not Plot Convenience then I don't know what is.

*I guess Alec stopped holding those weekly downworld cabinet meetings or otherwise he would have noticed that Raphael is missing...... LOL or else maybe they want to tell us less than a week passed since 3x04 which, honestly, I WOULDN'T EVEN BE SURPRISED OKAY

Luke and Clary and Jace are so frikkin stupid. I mean, it's not like they were in this exact same situation in this exact same precinct in season 1 and remembered to turn of the frikkin security cams are you kidding me wtf

Self-fulfilling prophecy, Luke. Well frikkin done. I don't even feel sorry for you.

Actually they kicked you out because they new you didn't prioritize them, but sure. Survivor's guilt. I get it.

Anyway now that Luke is caught on tape talking to non-existent people about werewolves and vampires I guess he'll go to the psych ward instead of the jail, so yay for improvement?

<3

Quick question.... after the cut, to they just awkwardly stand around until someone opens the door again so Jace and Clary can slip out?

WTF Underhill don't make me hate you.

Izzy: “Raphael is not a bad person. He just made a horrible mistake.” Alec: “He commited a gross violation of the Accords.” Izzy: “He's trying to turn his life around.” Alec: “It doesn't change what he did.”

And yet.............. Alec pardoned Heidi....................... and yet..................................... Izzy hates on Jordan........................................... It's like no one on this show is able to assess situations consistently while disregarding personal relations to the people involved. Really. I don't even really expect it from Izzy because she's too passionate for that. But I sure as hell expected better from Alec. Smh.

................................................................. What. What even. Because doing things by herself worked out so well last time. Because Alec totally acts like his trust in her judgement wasn't shaken by this revelation. Wtf Alec, why do you agree to this. It makes no sense.

?????????? this is not the Aline from 2x15

and that bothers me because 1) why recast her wtf and 2) I think 2x15 Aline looked more approachable and warm and yeah wtf why recast her. So from now on I'm calling this imposter “Aline”. I'm serious. Watch me.

Plot Twist: In German they are dubbed by the same dubbing actress.

Edit: Apparently they recast here because 2x15 Aline wasn't available due to scheduling conflicts which, okay, valid. But I'm still calling the imposter “Aline”. I've commited to it already, okay??

Alec, your arguemnt is still invalid because the only werewolf ready to wage war is standing right in front of you and you said yourself you thought she was dead. Wtf man.

YEAH ALEC AND FOR THAT REASON YOU WAIT BEFORE YOU STRIKE A DEAL WITH SUSPECTS WTF MAN YOU OVERTHINK EVERYTHING BUT IN THIS YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT THREE FRIKKIN MINUTES ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME-- I'm exasperated, in case you can't tell. Mainly because Alec assuming Maia is dead makes no sense whatsoever. She wasn't among the dead, so why would he assume she's dead instead of escaped? Why didn't he try to track her? Why didn't he try to call her himself? Why didn't they call ahead?!* So many questions, all answered with two words: Plot Convenience.

*Oh right, because they trusted Luke to tell the Institute everything. But my point still stands. This miscommunication is ridiculous.

Also, can we talk about the pacing? In the time Simon needs to drive his and Maia's ass over to the Institute, Heidi walks in, Alec draws up an amnesty and organizes a mission, they go to the DuMort, secure all the vamps, and bring them back into the Institute. Just how slow was Simon driving? Makes no sense. Wtf.

Uh-huh. Sure, Head of Security, why would you need to know that. Also, who made those keys? Are they lying around somewhere in a spare drawer? So many questions.

Good save, man. I can accept that. Seems he's trying to do his job. But still. The way he half-whispered insolently during that mission briefing strikes me as really not fitting his character. He calls Alec “Sir” dammit. As if he'd stoop to such cheap bitchy behavior, especially when it stands to reason that the shadowhunter he was whispering to doesn't respect Alec like Underhill does because, y'know, gay and dating a downworlder and the general tendency of shadowhunters to be biased and racist.

LOL I guess the first thing I can really appreciate about this episode is that they make an effort to bring back stuff from the past season???

Aha. Looks like someone felt the need to change.

Clary: “He somehow got it in that twisted head of his that I'm gonna help him find it.”

........did I miss that part? Because I sure don't recall it.

Well, Simon, then I hope you have a degree in psychology and don't ask any leading questions that make her useless as a witness. Also, be sure to carry your plan out while Alec isn't present so your story will be more credible and Alec won't think you encanto-ed her so she says what you need her to say to get Heidi behind bars. Since, you know, you and Maia are totally neutral when it comes to this investigation. It's always a great idea to conduct investigations yourself when you're completely unbiased and absolutely not involved in any way, with no personal stakes in the matter. SIGH.

This.... was actually unexpected. See, this is why I like Heidi as a villain. She is smart and she knows how to cover her tracks. And that whole plan to stir up werewolves and vampires against each other was expertedly executed (even if her defense in front of Izzy and Alec was a little weak and Griffin could have acted a little less stupid).

Hahahahaha Magnus. Tbh though, Alec knew Underhill would be in charge of setting Magnus up with a key, and the long amount he thought about what the hell Magnus meant makes me think he doesn't really think handsome = Underhill. Surely not after that haircut amiright ok sorry sorry I'm shutting up. Underhill is a handsome guy.

Ugh. Okay, honestly I don't want to do this. I want to say this was a cute scene and move on. But I just can't move past Alec's apology. Why the hell does he apologise? He did nothing wrong? It's his typical my-opinion-doesn't-count,-whatever-the-person-I-love-says-must-be-right-and-I-am-wrong spiel and I hate it. It would have been something else entirely if he'd said “I didn't know this bothered you so much, I won't do that again in the future if it's a problem to you.” Finding a compromise while recognizing that talking about his issues is his right, since Magnus didn't ask him to keep quiet about it. No matter how good he knows Underhill – and I agree with Magnus on that one, it was strange for Alec to talk about his problems with someone he barely knows, but at the time it was, oh surprise, Plot Convienience to bait some cheating angst – it was his right and with his apology

he basically asserts that it wasn't. Because of some misguided jealousy from Magnus. Magnus should protest this immediately but he doesn’t, he just lets it sit there and just..... argh!

Also another thing, since I saw some people getting worked up over it: Yes, I read the scene earlier in the way that Alec didn't realize Magnus was talking about Underhill because he finds him so super hot, but because context reasons. Still, even if he did find Underhill attractive... that's not a problem? It's part of interacting with someone and looking at their face while talking to them and by the way realizing “Wow, this person isn't fugly.” If he spent all his days oogling Underhill that would be something else entirely, but he obviously doesn't. So, even if his conclusion was “Handsome? Must be Underhill!” that wouldn't make him a bad person. We all know he only has eyes for Magnus.

*sigh* I'm a weak woman, okay, this placates me a little.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I  C A N ' T The fact that he thinks he needs to clarify!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing.

I have so many questions. If she wakes up, will she hold her breath again? I honestly expected her to be dead after Heidi's order, but apparently encanto only takes hold of the person's actions while they are conscious. So this leads me to the question why the f Nora is in a coma instead of simply unconscious, since if your brain doesn't get oxygen you slip into unconsciousness, not coma wtf.

...............by? The shadowhunters on washing machine handling duty?? So many questions.

.........or just do it right away. Why wait?

!!!!!!!!!YES at least someone has common sense left this episode. It physically pains me that this person is Jonathan. Wtf, show.

1) Soooooo why is his magic suddenly blue again? Though it's slightly tinted so I guess one could argue that this is Magnus trying to cover up the ugly Lorenzo-color. 2) Did the nurse really let them all in? Are they using glamors? I need answers. 3) Won't this place be swarming with doctors as soon as she wakes up?

“This is Maia. If you're hearing this, it's because my phone's battery sucks.”

Hahaha, I approve.

Lol this is the other reason I like Heidi as a villain, she's cheeky.

That.......... WAS UNEXPECTED OH MY GOD WOOOW I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!!! Color me impressed!!! And from Maia no less, who's always throw fists first, think straight later!!!

But..... while we saw where she got that syringe from I can't help but wonder where the hell she got that Holy Water from? Also how the hell did Simon, Magnus and Alec know in which back alley exactly she was hiding?? Guess we'll never know.

Soooooo whenever she stares into the flames she gets a Jonathan-possession-episode???? Okay??????? Why?????????????????? But anyway, the solution to their predicament seems clear: Just keep her away from fire. Then again they're shadowhunters, so compulsively lighting candles is a thing, so I see where this might get difficult.

You know, this scene would probabley even touch me emotionally if I wasn't busy muttering wtf under my breath because I'm still not over how they completely screwed over the Accords. With the way things were back in 3x04 what Izzy did in banishing Raphael was nothing more than an exceedance of competence. (Yes, Raphael deserves punishment for what he did, but not. from. Izzy.) And now suddenly it's a law-breaking act of compassion? Wtf, no, doesn't compute.

Also, as Bohemian pointed out: why the hell is Raphael's Dramatic Pre Jail Scene with Izzy instead of, idk, Magnus who's like a father to him and also at the Institute in this very moment?? Why do those two don't get any screen-time together when their relationship is more profound than, sorry, anything between Izzy and Raphael?? Tbh reducing Raphael to a pining mess who's only thinking about Izzy makes him feel real two-dimensional to me and he deserves wayyy better than that.

...................you know what? No!! Too late!! I've mentioned it in a past reaction post (from 3A I think) that I would have loved for this to be the reason they break up: Maia's okay-ness with ending a conflict through violence and Simon's relative patriotism. And even though this scene was everything I hoped for in this regard it still leaves a stale taste in my mouth because it's come too frakkin late. They are already broken up and their break up scene wasn't up to par. And why wasn't this their break up scene? Because if they'd been together up until now we couldn't have gotten the Jordan/Maia cuddling. Ugh.

Also this

would have certainly packed more of a punch if it came from someone who was consistently opinionated that way and wasn't randomly stricken by “I don't give a damn who gets injured, I have a gig to get to” moods (and yeah, I'm still not forgiving that, Simon).

Ohhhh no Magnus, stay away from that carpet, bad things will happen here, didn't you see the sneak peek????

WOW I am impressed, this is more than I expected so I'm really happy about this, especially since we all know how Magnus “It's all in the past” Bane normally deals with conflicts. You can see how much it costs him to get over himself and say this, and I love it. (What I don’t love is that Alec immediately glosses over this and barely even registers it but, whatever, that’s not Magnus's fault. He did what he should have done, and I’m happy about it.)

“Having an outsider live at the Institute, that is against protocol. And how can I expect everyone else to follow the rules if I don't follow them myself?”

I mean, I don't really think Maia would have refrained from her little murder plot if Magnus had spend the night at a hotel instead of in Alec's bed, but I recognize Alec at least attempting to be true to his rule-abiding, authority-acknowledging character for five seconds. So I'm somewhat semi-..... uh, quarter-proud of him.

Awwwww and Underhill just worked the whole day to get him settled in, the poor guy.

AGAIN WOW you can see how much courage it costs him to ask this after last half-season's moving-in-talk went so smoothly!!! I love it!!!

I LOVE IT!!!

I HATE IT!!! Yeah wow, I really hate it. Why can't they be happy for two seconds istg!!!!!

Btw I'm ordering you to read Matt's live tweets because they are therapeutic, okay.

(Bacon Gif Source)

[the5sosdumpster]

I’m The Best You’ve Ever Had // m.c.

Masterlist

Request

Warnings: literally all smut; 18+ minors dni

A/N: This wasn’t requested and I’ve had it finished sitting in my docs for a hot minute now. I don’t know how we came upon this, but @thicc-bread and I wrote this and you’re welcome. (it’s really really fucking long)

Part 2//Part 3//

Calum is your best friend, like an older brother to you if you’re being honest. You two met a while ago when you were working in a coffee shop he used to frequent. He asked you for a drink recommendation, and you guys became fast friends, to the point where he brought you to meet the rest of the boys. When you first met Calum, you knew who he was instantly, but played it cool until you’d accidentally let it spill one Tuesday afternoon.

When it comes to the rest of the boys, you guys all get along super well, with one exception. Michael. You don’t know why, but it seems that since the first day he met you, he didn’t like you, and it had grown into a mutual hatred for one another. Whenever you are in the same room, you and Michael can’t seem to control your anger towards one another, to the point where you two end up yelling across the room at each other. Calum has tried talking to Michael before, but nothing he does seems to get Mike to ease up on his snarky comments. You told Cal you would try being nicer, but each time you two got together, Michael knew exactly what buttons to press to make your temper boil over. The worst part of it all is that he has a smirk plastered across his face, which for some crazy reason you find undeniably hot. You’re never able to fully admit to yourself that you think he’s extremely attractive, after all you’re supposed to hate him. Every once in a while, you’ll catch yourself staring a little too long at his lips when he talks. Lately, it’s gotten worse and you’ve caught yourself more and more allowing your gaze to trail down his body.

Tonight is Luke’s birthday, and you’re all going to Ashton’s house for a big party he’s throwing. You, the boys and a few others get there early to set everything up as Luke is out with his parents for the day.

“No, Y/N, don’t put the balloons there, that looks stupid.”

You turn around to see Mike walking over to you shaking his head in annoyance and you scoff, “like you could do this any better?”

He just rolls his eyes and grabs the balloons out of your hands, “watch and learn, princess.”

You grumble under your breath at the pet name, and walk away, going to set up drinks in the kitchen with Calum. When you get in there, you hear Ashton compliment the decorations Mike did and Mike responded extra loud so you could hear him, “thanks Ashton! Y/N, had them set up wrong, so I had to fix them.”

You yell back to him, “at least I can choose one hair color and stick to it!” When you turn back, Cal is looking at you with raised eyebrows and you sigh, “I’m sorry,” you mutter to him, fumbling with the plastic cups on the counter.

He shakes his head and says, “it’s fine, just try and keep to yourselves for the party, okay?” You nod your head and finish setting up the drinks with him.

For the majority of the night, you’d been able to avoid Michael, only every once in a while, you’d catch each other’s eye and send glares across the room before moving on. You and Cal hung out most of the time with other friends, drinking and having fun. After a few drinks, Calum is drunk enough to want a picture of you two together, so you two have someone at the table with you, take a picture of you drinking from a straw with your eyes closed and a big smile on your face, while Calum has one arm around your shoulders and has a matching smile with his middle finger in the air. After the picture, you lean into Calum and tell him you want to go dance and you would be back later. He simply nods his head and continues talking to the group of friends at the table.

When you get out to the middle of the makeshift dance floor (the living room), there are people everywhere dancing to the loud music, some with cups in their hands. You join in with the bodies and close your eyes, swaying your hips to the beat of the song playing, a smile on your face. Not long after you start dancing, you feel a pair of hands on your waist and you lean into the stranger behind you. After dancing with him for a while, you walk up to the kitchen to mix another drink. Suddenly, a familiar voice sounds behind you making your blood boil.

“You really need to clean up your act.”

You spin around to see Michael leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. Raising an eyebrow, you stand up straight with your drink, “excuse me?”

“You need to clean up your act,” he repeats himself.

You roll your eyes, “care to elaborate or should I attempt to guess what you’re talking about?”

He shoots you a sharp glare and pushes himself off the counter, “you can’t just go whoring around with every guy, it’s bad for the band’s reputation. You’re associated with us now.”

You quirk an eyebrow, “wait,” you pause, narrowing your eyes, “were you watching me dance?”

His face flushes for a second, but it was gone as fast as it came, “you wish,” he says smirking.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you feel your body start to shake with anger, “I’m my own person. I can do whatever I want.”

He steps closer to you with his jaw clenched, “No. You can’t. It’s bad publicity for the band if one of the people we are seen with is acting like a slut.”

“I’m not acting like a slut,” you say, voice raising.

By now your chests are brushing against each other and you’re both looking angrily at each other. Before the argument gets more heated, you turn out of the kitchen, drink forgotten, and head up the stairs to the empty hallway to go to the restroom and calm yourself down. When you get near the bathroom, though, a hand grabs your arm and you turn to see Mike dragging down the hallway, to the last bedroom. He opens the door quickly, pulling you in before slamming the door shut and pushing you harshly against it.

“I fucking hate you,” he sneers before smashing his mouth against yours. Your hands instantly fly to his hair and his tongue forces its way into your mouth, exploring every crevice. His hands travel down to your ass, groping the cheeks in each hand. You tug harshly on his hair causing him to let a low growl out of his throat and you smirk against his mouth. Pushing him back a bit, you kiss his neck, leaving marks along the way and when you get to his earlobe, you tug on it lightly with your teeth. You can feel him starting to slip into your hands, but he catches himself and rips your mouth off his skin. “You drive me fucking crazy,” he forces out before putting his lips back on yours. He bites down harshly on your bottom lip, and you yelp in pain.  

He only smirks and runs his tongue over the swollen skin before he begins kissing down your jawline to your neck. You feel his hands move from kneading your ass, to the band of the front of your shorts causing you to swallow harshly. You freeze for a second.

“Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop.” You don’t say anything, silently debating in your head. “Nothing to say, darling? Well that’s not like you at all,” he smirks at you, slowly unbuttoning your shorts. He pushes the zipper down slowly, still kissing your neck. He continues his slow pace as his hands make their way inside your panties. “Last chance to back out baby girl, do you want my fingers?”

“Please,” you manage to whine.

“Mm I like it when you beg,” he says while his tattooed fingers move down to your clit, rubbing painfully slow circles against it. Your body jerks forward, your nails digging into his shoulders and leaving small crescents in their wake, and he smirks at your reaction. Suddenly, he moves his fingers down and thrusts two into your entrance, causing you to gasp and arch your back towards him. He thrusts them in and out quickly before curling them forward, hitting just the right spot. The feeling of his lips on your neck plus his fingers inside you, sends you into a pure bliss.

“You’re such a slut for me, aren’t you, baby?” He says lowly into your ear, “taking my fingers so well.” You let out a shaky breath and whimper at his words. His fingers pull out of you and pinch at your clit, “I wanna hear you say it, tell me you’re my little slut.” He stops all movements, waiting for you to say it.

Groaning, you desperately say, “fuck, Mikey, I’m your slut, p-please do something. I need your fingers.”

Smirking, Mike slides his fingers back into your entrance, this time adding a third digit, making you let out a loud, involuntary moan.

“You need me hmm? You hate me but you’re dripping for me, princess.”  A frustrated growl drives its way out of your chest and you start to move your own hand towards your throbbing center, but his hand slaps it away. He tisks and shakes his head at you, “now, now, princess, let Daddy take care of you.” The name sends shivers up your spine as submission takes over, and your hand falls limply to your side.

“Please make me cum, Daddy,” you whine.

“Well since you asked so nicely,” he grins down at you. Suddenly, his fingers pick up at a brutal pace, and his thumb keeps constant pressure on your clit. You hear yourself moaning his name over and over as you feel that all too familiar knot forming in your stomach. His fingers continuously prod at your g-spot, curling every time they thrust back into you. You feel his lips on your collarbone, working their way up your throat.

“Please, please - fuck Michael - please,” you beg. You’re so close, but you need something, you don’t know what’s missing, what you’re begging for, but Michael seems to.

“That’s it princess, you’re almost there aren’t you?” You nod your head quickly, whimpering out another plea. “Cum for me baby, make a mess on Daddy’s fingers,” he breathes in your ear and brings his other hand up under your bra, twisting your nipple. You cry out as you feel your climax wash over your body, he continues his ministrations as you ride out your high. Eventually he slows his fingers as you come back down.

Before you can catch your breath, Mike is ripping your shorts and panties to the ground and you kick them off quickly, looking at him in shock. He looks at you with raised eyebrows and a smirk as he pulls down his jeans and boxers, “What, you think we’re done? Baby girl I was just getting you warmed up.”

You swallow harshly as he spreads your legs and wraps his arms under your thighs, pressing you farther up against the door. He crowds closer to you, supporting your weight as he uses one of his hands to tease his cock along your folds. Your hands tighten their grip on his biceps as a new wave of arousal crashes through your body.

“Oh God, Mikey please just-“ you start to whimper out, but he doesn’t let you finish before he’s slamming all the way into you and fuck he’s huge compared to what you’ve had before. He’s stretching you and he hasn’t even moved yet. Your nails dig into his biceps as you attempt to adjust to his size, and when you nod to him, he pulls out and slams back into you. “Oh fuck!” The stretch is incredible and every time he harshly thrusts back into you, your breath is forced out of your body. You’re panting and swearing, his chest is flush with yours keeping you pressed up against the door. Suddenly his lips are back on your neck sucking more marks into your already bruised skin. Those will be fun to try to explain to Calum tomorrow. You must have voiced your thought out loud because Michael’s voice cuts through the fog in your head.

“What, you don’t want Cal to know I fucked you, is that it? What would he think if he could see you like this, hmm? All weak and begging underneath me? Legs spread, taking my cock like a whore,” he punctuates the last word with a particularly hard thrust. You don’t know if it’s his words or his cock that makes you cry out. He continues to thrust his hips and whisper filthily into your ear. “Do you think Calum would like to watch me destroy your sweet little cunt?” The thought of Calum or anyone seeing you like this makes you involuntarily clench around Michael. “Oh princess likes to be watched, huh?” He lets out a breathy chuckle, “didn’t know you were so dirty, baby.” His rhythm hasn’t faltered yet and the feeling in your stomach is building up again, as his dick brushes against your g-spot again and again.

“Michael - Daddy,” you choke out, nails clawing at his still clothed back. “I - I need - shit fucking hell -“ a high pitched whine cuts your words off as Michael shifts his hips, driving his cock deeper than before. “Please let me cum, Daddy, please.”

“What if I say no? Hmm, what then princess?” You mewl at his words as his hand snakes between your bodies to pinch at your clit again. His hips slow to an excruciating pace. He continues to pinch at your clit while he slowly fucks in and out of you.

“Please just fuck me, Mikey, please,” you’re just whining now, your core fluttering around him while he continues his torturously slow pace. “Please I need to cum. I need you to make me cum. Please make me cum, Daddy,” it comes out broken and breathy but it seems to do the trick. His hips speed up considerably, the sound of his flesh slapping against yours fills the small room.

“Cum,” he tells you with one more harsh tug at your clit. Your whole body shakes as your climax takes over. You’re chanting his name again, embarrassingly loud. “Just like that, baby, maybe Cal will hear you,” he’s somehow still smirking down at you, with his bubblegum pink hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. He nips his way down your jaw, his hips jackhammering at a bruising pace. His breaths get shorter and his hips start stuttering out of rhythm. His voice is breathy when he asks you “Do you want Daddy to fill you with his cum?” You can’t do nothing but nod enthusiastically and clench around him, your body spent from your second orgasm. “Fuck, baby your pussy is incredible,” he moans out as his hips continue to stutter. A few more shallow thrusts and he’s filling you with thick spurts.

You both stay like that, pressed against the bedroom door, breathing heavy for what feels like hours. Until he slowly pulls himself out of you. You mewl quietly at the feeling, while trying to prevent any of his cum from making a mess. He sets you down carefully, and your knees almost buckle. He chuckles and supports you in his arms.

“Didn’t know I was that good, you gonna be able to walk on your own, princess?” His cocky tone returns. You groan inwardly, you should have expected this. You struggle your way out of his arms and find your discarded clothes.

“You’re not that good,” you say as you start to redress. “I’m pretty drunk,” you lie. You’d only had a couple of drinks, but you didn’t want to feed his ego anymore than you already had. You make your way over to a mirror and survey the damage. Your makeup is smudged, your lipstick is completely gone and your neck is littered with bruises. You use your hair to cover most of the hickeys, and pray that Calum is drunk enough not to notice.

“You’ve had like three drinks max. I know you can handle your booze,” he’s studying you in the mirror. “C’mon darling, just admit it,” he comes up behind you, whispering the last part in your ear, “I’m the best you’ve ever had.”

You roll your eyes and push him off of you, reaching for the door, “Cal was better,” you shrug and open the door. Looking back, you see his face pale before you shut the door on him. Smirking, you make your way back towards the stairs and the party, but you hear his voice behind you.

“We both know you’ve never fucked Cal. You shouldn’t lie to me when my cum is still dripping out of your cunt, darling.”

You feel your face flush and your thighs clench involuntarily at his words. Your body’s reaction just irritates you more and you push through the large crowds of people, leaving the party and Michael behind.

[chasiingfreedom-blog]

My Thoughts On The Last Jedi *spoilers ahead*

Ahead lies thoughts about TLJ that are 100% true to me. Obvious spoilers ahead!

If you don’t think too much while you watch this movie and just take it at face value like a casual watcher, it’s a decent movie. Things blow up, the good guys escape actual extinction; typical action movie. But if you do actually start to think deep about what is actually going on for 2.5+ hours with characters and storylines you’ve been invested in for seven (or eight including Rogue One) movies, the cracks are so much more apparent. Characters are OOC, actual canon stuff that happened in the last movie are conveniently ignored; it’s like a badly written fanfic.

I came in fearing one thing and realized I should have been afraid of everything else, stuff I didn’t even think I needed to worry about because you’d never think they’d fuck up so badly. Though I should’ve realized when Rian said there’d be no time skip that things were just gonna go downhill from there.

Don’t get me wrong, there were things I loved about the movie, and I’ll start with those positives first!

Positives

Poe got more screen time. How they used that time is a different topic, but he had so little scenes in TFA because he was supposed to die in the opening that I’m happy that it got upped in TLJ.

Let the record show, once and for all, that Leia is Force-sensitive. Can you believe that there are still people, to this day, that think that Leia isn’t Force-sensitive? I didn’t even know the Force could work like that, but anything that kept Leia from dying on that bridge is welcomed by me. I was screaming in my head for a long time about how they lied about saying Leia isn’t killed in The Last Jedi until she awoke and propelled herself back to what remained of the ship. Glad that part was true at least!

Holdo’s death was pretty epic. My mixed feelings on her aside, that scene where she jumped to lightspeed through the First Order ship literally silenced the full-capacity theatre I was in. Like, literally—there was no rustling of popcorn bags or whisperings. It was just utterly breathtaking.

Hux and Finn have a scene. I’ve heard a lot of discourse about Hux slapping Finn, and while I understand where they’re coming from, I didn’t think of it on that level. What I did think of is how people are honestly confused as to why Hux actually felt personally attacked enough by Finn to do it. The stormtrooper program is everything to Hux, and Finn is a living, breathing reminder of his failure, that Mr. Perfectionist isn’t all that perfect after all. Wasted potential of a storyline aside, I’m glad they were able to meet.

Luke Skywalker deserves his legend status. LUKE BRUSHED A SPECK OF DIRT OFF HIS SHOULDER AFTER MINUTES OF BEING SHOT UPON. LUKE DID THAT. THE ROOM I WAS IN CHEERED SO LOUDLY AT HIS BADASSERY. IT WAS FUCKING SPECTACULAR. Don’t try to ruin the moment by saying he wasn’t actually there. Just. Don’t.

Kylo Ren’s arc progressed. Honestly his plot line was the whole point of the movie. Everything else was literally, actually meaningless in its wake. People who wanted him to have a redemption arc got a teaser for it, and him ascending to be the main baddie of the trilogy has solidified (which was my favourite of the theories regarding him tbh). It’s weird though, because while I had always hoped he’d off Snoke I honestly didn’t think it’d be that easy. It was too easy, actually. Really anti-climatic. I was hoping for an epic battle but alas. We never even got to find out who Snoke was, his orgin.

Rey’s past is finally revealed. While this, too, was anti-climatic, I’m glad it was addressed (unlike Finn’s, cough cough). I get why they wanted Rey to have come from nothing, to have someone that wasn’t apart of such huge dynasties like being a Skywalker or a Kenobi. Just know that I still love and adore any and all origin headcanons any Rey RPers have <3

The FinnRey was on point. And there was some FinnPoe and FinnReyPoe action. Finn’s and Rey’s first thoughts were always of each other. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TRANSLATE WHAT CHEWIE SAID WHEN HE INTERRUPTED REY ABOUT WHAT TO SAY IF CHEWIE FOUND FINN FIRST? I NEED IT LIKE AIR. Even that look Rey had when she saw the Finn and Rose moment OH BE STILL MY HEART. Also that tracker became the new jacket thing that they shared. Rey had one, and Finn took the one Leia had and then passed it on the Poe like FUCK ME I LOVE THIS. And then POE AND REY FINALLY MEETING IN THE MOVIE? (I mean, in the novel they had met at the end of TFA but I digress.) IT WAS SO CUTE. FUCK. I lived for all the scenes Poe and Finn had together honestly, whew.

The Reylo wasn’t actually there. This was what I was most afraid of going into watching TLJ. I heard enough murmurings about it that I was dreading having to watch it. (I don’t care if you personally like it; it’s just not my cup of tea.) Like, I can see where the shippers would just take and run with what they were given, but I didn’t see anything romantic about their interaction despite how hard they were trying to make it be. I mean, Snoke was the one who forced their Force connection. I just saw two lonely, powerful people who were trying to find someone who understood what they were going through, like, platonically lol Plus, Rey didn’t even join him. That was another thing I was afraid of; Rey going dark. So I was overall pleased by this.

Negatives

Poe was so OOC (as well as 90% of the characters in the movie). Yes, Poe may be very good at blowing things up, made quite the career out of it, but if y’all are trying to help him see that that alone isn’t going to win wars and show him that he’s more than a flyboy maybe y’all shouldn’t be slapping him needlessly or be hypocrites and send him out to do the very thing you just reprimanded him for ten minutes later.

And yes, Poe may be reckless, but only with his own life, never with the lives of his friends and squad and Resistance members that he considers family. Never. Ever.

And yes, Poe had technically defied Leia before in TFA (but that was in the novelization only when he had stayed behind until he had eyes on the Falcon after Starkiller blew up and honestly in the eyes of TLJ he had never defied Leia) it was a) for a damn good reason and b) he had told his squad to leave without him and they chose not to.

So watching Poe defy Leia and risk an entire fleet of bombers to destroy one Destroyer was just painful to watch. Watching some no name newbie character take command over Poe when Leia was out of commission was painful to watch. Watching Poe being treated like he isn’t a brilliant commander and having ALL HIS PLANS FAIL was painful to watch. Fuck, watching Leia taser Poe like he was a fucking terrorist was painful to watch. Honestly I think the whole theatre was stunned when Leia did that, DAMN. It was just all very painful.

Finn is not a traitor, please get that straight. That whole Finn/Rose scene where Rose said Finn was a traitor for trying to escape and lead Rey away from danger like WHEN THE FUCK DID FINN JOIN THE RESISTANCE? DO Y’ALL THINK YOU OWN HIM BECAUSE YOU HEALED HIM? Honestly I didn’t think he was all in until he said he was rebel scum tbh. He admitted that he was only on the Starkiller mission to save Rey, just as he was when he tried to leave. He doesn’t owe anyone shit. Tasing him was so unnecessary.

There was no time skip. Other than being typical of Star Wars trilogy movies, it just would’ve made sense. Can you tell me how the first sentence of the opening crawl said the ‘First Order had won’ or something to that affect? LIKE DID WE WATCH THE SAME MOVIE OR WHAT?

And then somehow the FO had developed tracker tech and didn’t use the entire time they were fighting the Resistance until the Resistance was fleeing D’Qar, which apparently must’ve happened right after they sent Rey off to find Luke because haha Rey and Luke’s first meeting scene is happening concurrently with the rest of this shit. It doesn’t make any sense. Finn recovers so rapidly without any physical therapy (Kylo’s face I can understand because hey the FO has the tech for that advancement).

All of this would just make sense if there was a time skip. The Resistance flees D’Qar shortly after Rey leaves because the First Order knows what system they’re in and it’s only a matter of time before they find out which planet. In the mean time, the FO develops the tracker technology (and all those fancy Destroyer ships and hey when did the Resistance get bombers, why weren’t the used at Starkiller??). The Resistance finds out about from whom the FO gets their funding from and heads to Canto Bight, or hey after a run in with those damn destroyers they know they gotta take them down and the whole Maz-code breaker-Canto thing happens and boom that fight in Canto is where the tracker gets placed and boom the standoff in Crait and during all this they don’t do Luke dirty and Rey really trains and DOESN’T THIS ALL MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE?

They did Luke dirty (as well as Ben/Kylo’s origin story). Another victim of being terribly OOC. This man wouldn’t even consider killing his own father but hey, my nephew Ben is being seduced by the Dark Side and I can’t hope to save him even though I saved my father who was even more fargone than Ben so let’s consider killing Ben for a hot second before that becomes a problem thus driving Ben over the edge. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’m gonna stick with Ben’s power just exploded, killing everyone, and in his fear he ran to Snoke. Oh, and they killed Luke off. Epic way to go, but still.

Out with the old, in with the new. Jessika, Snap and the rest of the squad from the first movie just mysteriously disappear in TLJ. In their wake we get Rose and Paige and Holdo, of which the latter two’s deaths really don’t impact us as much as they would have if, I don’t know, we knew about them before? Could y’all build up the characters you have instead of bringing in new even more underdeveloped ones?

Kylo Ren and Finn don’t meet. We got a Hux/Finn reunion, where was the Kylo/Finn one? This one actually makes more sense because, I don’t know, Kylo could name Finn by designation and wrecked a console upon hearing that BB-8 was with Finn and HEY HE FUCKING SCREAMED AT FINN FOR BEING A TRAITOR but nah, not one peep in TLJ. Makes sense. Not.

All that wasted storyline potential. Let’s be real here, folks. Everything that didn’t involve Kylo and Rey was utterly meaningless to the plot. Two-thirds of every fucking thing that happened in the movie meant nothing. Tons of people died for nothing and Poe and Finn and Rose got beaten and made to look like fools for nothing and this was really a 2.5+ hour filler movie to ascend Kylo into main antagonist.

Knowing that the people who help fund the First Order hang out in Canto Bight could’ve been huge.

Finn realizing that the same people who sold weapons to the First Order also sold to the Resistance could’ve been huge.

Kylo fighting Snoke could’ve been huge.

Finn returning to the First Order undercover could’ve been huge.

Finn returning to the First Order undercover and getting captured could’ve been huge.

A defecting stormtrooper piloting that machine instead of BB-8, as cool as that was, could’ve been huge.

Poe actually being groomed to become Leia’s successor could’ve been huge.

Finn’s force-sensitivity could’ve been huge. (PRY THAT FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS.)

The parallel between Poe willing to die for a cause and Finn finally finding a cause worth dying for could’ve been huge. (They both could stand to learn from Rose’s words to be honest.)

JUST. ALL. THE. POTENTIAL.

Luke and Leia deserved a real face to face meeting. I thought we had been blessed by a real reunion of the twins only to later find out Luke wasn’t really there. While I’m so glad we got something at all (that forehead touch fucking ENDED ME) I think we all deserved a real meeting. And now we’ll never get one.

There’s probably more for both sides that I’m missing that I’ll probably write as I think of them but I think I got most of it off my chest lmao If you made it this far, congratulations! I applaud you.

TL;DR: The movie had its good moments, but there were a lot of fundamentally wrong moments, too.

[bananashemmo]

When We Collide (Part 27)

Pairing: Assistant!Y/N/CEO!Luke

Rating: NC-17

Masterlist: Here

Summary: He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand

When We Collide on Wattpad

“Oh I’m sorry if I woke you up it was just-, It was Ashton saying that I should just walk over and knock for some eggs-, I’m sorry I wasn’t supposed to disturb.” 

The words were flying out of your mouth at once. Your eyes were too the point of popping out of your face and the redness on your cheeks spoiled how embarrassed you actually were.

“It’s okay.” Calum grinned and wrapped the towel tighter around his naked waist, “He does that often. I’m just not used to a girl showing up instead of him.” 

You smiled softly by his explanation but it didn’t stop the redness from spreading. You stood confused not really knowing what to say it was almost like you had forgotten why you were standing in front of his door in the first place.

“Eggs?” He hummed after a minute of silence and your eyes widened again.

“Yes!” You exclaimed and moved your hands up to your cheeks to cover them, “That would be really great, thanks.”

“I’ll be right back.” 

You nodded your head in agreement by his words and watched him close the door again. You mentally wanted to slap yourself for your awkwardness but most importantly you wanted to freak out over Ashton for not warning you.

“Here. Just take the rest of the package I kind of owe it to Ashton. I borrowed some of his last week.” Calum said once he was back in the door frame and leaned over to give it. 

“Thank you.” You smiled and took the package, “Uh-, Have a nice shower.”

Have a nice shower? Really?

“I will.” He replied and didn’t really seem to mind the weird combination of sudden words. 

You rolled your eyes deeply once the door was closed and you didn’t hesitate to sprint towards the door right next to his. This was not really how you wanted to start out the morning and to be honest you could see more through that towel than intended.

“Why didn’t you tell me your neighbor greets people by only wearing a towel?” You barely got the chance to walk in through the door before the words fell from your lips.

Ashton looked up from his morning coffee with a huge grin and amused expression on his face.

“He was naked again? Damn, third time this week.” He mumbled in wonder but he didn’t seem as shocked as he most probably acted like it was.

You rolled your eyes again and placed the eggs on the top of the kitchen counter. He was standing there with a smirk growing on his face and you baffled your arms in the air when he apologized.

“You know next time you’re the one walking in asking for eggs. Calum must almost believe I’m only doing it so I can see his bare ass.” You explained with wide eyes and took a seat on the bar chair right in front of the kitchen counter. 

“No he just thinks it’s nice for some visits. If it would have been me he would just throw the eggs into my face.” Ashton laughed and leaned down to grab a pan. Finally he could start make some breakfast before you needed to get out of the door.

You shook your head in disbelief and leaned over to grab the plates he had placed out for you. It was a tradition of some sort. Ashton and you sitting with the morning sun streaming in from his French balcony and eating breakfast. Which he always insisted on making.

Moving in with him was definitely something different.

It wasn’t that it was bad, you preferred this much more than the high standards in the penthouse apartment.

Sure you were living on his couch in his living room which was also his bedroom but it was nice. You didn’t have to take long walks just to get down to the kitchen and everything was just in your arm reach.

He was a big snore there was never anything quiet. People were making noises from downstairs and Ashton’s colleague and neighbor Calum Hood wasn’t the one to be quiet either.

But it was fun because with a drum kit placed in the corner of the one room apartment Ashton could annoy everyone when it was needed. If he wanted to be annoying he would just play out from his heart until the early mornings.

You really had to adjust to something else. It was almost like taking a step back just like you had when you lived in your old dorm but this was still nicer.

It wasn’t filled with stress and you didn’t have to worry about having Luke running around all the time. There wasn’t the face of horror alternatively known as Holly and her fake long acrylic nails.

You could just walk around without having the feeling of being judged just by the way you were.

“What time is the appointment? We shouldn’t eat for too long if we have to make it in time.” He asked and grabbed your attention with your curious eyes.

“I’m not even sure...” You mumbled in thought and leaned over to grab the papers you were supposed to bring along.

“It says 9 A.M. So we’ve got at least 15 minutes to eat before we have to leave.” 

“Great. It’s done now so eat up for two.” He smiled and hovered over to place the eggs on your plate and some on his own.

You smiled in satisfaction, the cravings had been kicking in and the only way to satisfy them was by eating eggs. Not just eggs in general but you also died hard for tomatoes but only if they had an insane amount of salt spread on them.

Of course this wasn’t like any of the fancy food that was served at Luke’s place but you liked the style of homemade. It reminded you so much of home.

“You sure you want to come? It’s not something I’m forcing you to do I can take the bus if you need to be at work right away,” You had a bit of nervousness in your tone but it was only because you didn’t want to feel like it was forced.

It was just much easier having Ashton to drive you instead of fooling around with public transport. That way you didn’t have to fear not being there at the right time.

“No you said that the last time as well. I really don’t mind besides I think it’s the coolest thing ever. I mean, you can practically see the living life right inside of your belly. Even if it’s not my baby I think it’s the most amazing thing ever.”

You smiled softly by his words and finished the last bit of your eggs. Cravings meant eating fast and since you were ‘eating for two’ you were eating much faster than he was.

“Even though we should talk about the father.” His tone changed a bit but it wasn’t like he was acting angry.

“Again? I thought I explained you everything.” You mumbled casually like it was nothing and grabbed your plate to place it into the sink and start the water.

“Is he coming today?” He asked with a raised eyebrow and you stood quiet for a moment.

“I don’t know actually.” You tried to think back if you had mentioned it but you weren’t sure.

“Since the thing at the lake house we haven’t really spoken. When we do it’s literally only about work and he barely wants to look at me when I greet or say goodbye. He’s literally just as cold as he was right after you know... The baby conceiving thing.” 

Both Ashton’s eyebrows lifted by your words and he looked down at his eggs.

“Where do you guys stand? Like, has the thought crossed you that it might not work out in the end.”

You quietly looked down at your fingers not really knowing what to say. In your head you had thought this over so many times but the realization of your position had not hit you yet.

“I don’t really know,” You said and tried to brush off the goosebumps, “It’s like every time I try to think it through there won’t be a conclusion to my thoughts. It just doesn’t work out that way.”

Ashton nodded his head in agreement and finished the last bit of his toast that he had grabbed along to eat. You looked down at the plate for a moment and took in the expression on your face.

“It’s like no matter what I do, no matter how much I hate him I can never fully brush him off my shoulders.” 

“That’s understandable.” 

You looked up by his words a little bit startled. It wasn’t what you had expected him to say. You expected him to call you ridiculous and that you shouldn’t have such thoughts about a guy like Luke.

“You guys, you have that connection.” He explained and walked next to you with his plate.

“What connection?” You asked with a hint of confuse and washed his plate too.

“That connection only parents can share.” 

You stopped silently by his words and looked up at him. The water was still running but you weren’t doing anything but he didn’t seem angry or anything about it. He seemed pretty accepting.

“I think that is possibly the closest connection you can get to another human. And mostly there shouldn’t be something to break that.” 

You watched him take a step back to grab his working shirt and threw it over his shoulder. He could tell that you were affected by his words but it was a natural reaction he assumed.

“You ready to leave?” He asked just to change the subject a bit and you looked down at the running water that was making your hands feel warmer and warmer. 

“Yes.” You said after thinking and turned off the water.

“Let’s go.” 

The way to the hospital from Ashton’s apartment was a little bit longer than the other one and the traffic was pretty jammed. Not that it was a surprise in New York, you never seemed to walk on the streets in peace.

Not to mention that it was in fact December. People were crowding all areas and driving in cars wanting to get to the nearest supermarked and fill down their trolleys with presents.

Even the hospital had been decorated for the Holiday tradition. It was nice to see that they cared so much for the patients that weren’t able to come home in the most ‘Family brought together’ month of the year.

You almost wished that you could do something more because it was so nice to see that people cared.

“You and your coffee.” You laughed when Ashton stopped in track just to get another cup before you walked into the scanning room.

“What? I’m not the one who has to go back to the apartment and watch reunions of Riverdale until the sun sets and someone comes home to make you dinner.” He grinned and took a sip of the hot liquid.

That was in fact true. After the scanning you would go back home and chill on a lovely Sunday. Ashton had to set up some new security cameras at the restaurant Luke owned.

“I’m not saying you’re addicted, but you’re addicted.” You looked up at him with a teasing smile and hurried to open the door so he wasn’t able to say something back. 

“Morning Dr. Sullivan.” You greeted once you were inside and in her sight.

She was rolling up the curtains of the window and revealed the warm sun that had been following you since you had woken up this morning.

“Morning Y/N. I see you brought Ashton do. What a pleasure.” She smiled and leaned over to shake both your hands in politeness.

“Yeah the best support I can get.” You nodded your head in agreement and took a seat down on the chairs. It had become a routine by now you always needed the little talk just to catch up with what was going on.

“So let me see? Last time we got to see the gender reveal and you also had an appointment with heartburn?” 

“Yes that was a bit urgent.” You explained, it wasn’t something you had talked about the last time since it was all about the gender. You had barely gotten the chance to get inside the room before you literally begged to find out what was hiding inside of your belly. 

“Yes it says you showed up after midnight. Was it burning much because I would have loved to take care of you but my schedules only go from 8-16. Everything after midnight is usually the emergency room and doctors.”

“Yes it was burning in my chest it was horrible. But the doctor gave me a few tips here and there to quiet it down and now I only feel it once in a while. It was pretty scary considering I had no idea what was going on.” You explained and she nodded her head understanding. 

“Yes it does in fact arrive at weird times. Sometimes the body doesn’t understand what is going on but it was the right decision to go get it checked.” She nodded her head again and looked through her files on the computer.

“So, what else? Starting to feel the second trimester things kicking in?” She asked and you moved your hands down to your belly.

“Speaking of kicking. When does it start to kick? I tried to google it but I couldn’t really find the answer it. I was just nervous that something wasn’t right because I couldn’t feel her.”

“Oh no no that’s totally normal,” Dr. Sullivan smiled. “The baby starts to kick between week 16 and 22 so it shouldn’t be long from now. Some babies are just lazier than others and when you feel it you know it’s there.” 

“But how far am I know? I’m getting a little bit impatient I know the scanning pictures are telling her heart is beating and everything but I’d prefer some movements in confirm.” You raised an eyebrow thinking back, you couldn’t remember what she had said the last time.

“It seems as you’re around the 5 months or definitely close. It means that it won’t be long before she will start to kick. She must be a heavy sleeper.”

“Just like her mom.” Ashton commented from your side and you widened your eyes. 

“I am not a heavy sleeper.” You disagreed as Dr. Sullivan checked up on everything. 

“You slept until noon yesterday.” He argued and laughed by your reaction.

You had been battling with mood swings for so long he couldn’t tell what kind of mood you were in. Either it would be you yelling at him for doing absolutely nothing it could be something as harmless as not putting the toilet seat down.

There could also be days where you would be a ball of sunshine. Everything could make you smile but it could also take seconds to make you cry. It was like you could never really know how you were feeling and your head was mixed up with many emotions at once.

Ashton saw it as a fun opportunity to tease the hell out of you. He came with comments he only did to trigger your mood but he also knew where the line to how far he could go was.

He was, after all, still a gentleman. 

“Well sleep is definitely normal at this time of the pregnancy. You will experience your body getting more and more tired because of the weight your gaining and the less you’re doing. The pregnancy fills so much it’s not something everyone wants to admit.”

“Well that makes sense because I feel so fatigue all the damn time. After a long day of week I practically fall asleep on the couch until there’s dinner.” You explained with a nod of agreement to Dr. Sullivan’s words.

“Very and pretty normal.” She said with a wink and folded her papers together. 

“What else? Is there anything I need to know. I’ve borrowed a lot of books at the library but I just think it’s better to understand when someone explains it to me.” You had a curious expression on your face and tried to think back in case you had any questions.

“Well as you’ve already experienced there is heartburn. Also, we’ve got the baby kicking as we spoke about, mood swings, cravings, aches and pain along with your second trimester ultrasound which is the one you’re here for today.” 

You nodded your head by her words and looked down at the papers she was placing in front of you.

“Lamaze classes?” You asked with a quivered eyebrow and looked up at her.

She nodded her head in agreement and pointed her finger on the words you had just said out loud.

“I think this would be really good for Y/N just to get a better understanding of how the birth is going to be and such. The classes can also be divided by age so you can be with people of the same category as you. It might feel a bit awkward and weird but as your doctor and midwife I’d say this is the best choice for you.”

You looked down at the paper carefully. You could only recall the moment from Friends where Ross and Susan had to do the breathing techniques together - Ross being the pregnant female. 

“Of course it’s not something I’m going to force you with, it’s just something I recommend when I think it’s needed.”

“No it’s fine, I will definitely check out some classes and register.” You nodded your head in agreement but to be honest you were a bit nervous.

Could they be just as hard as college classes?

“Good. Just keep the paper and call me if you’re confused about anything.” She smiled and pointed towards the bed with the scanner next to it, “Go take a seat.” 

You nodded your head and stood up from your chair along with Ashton. He took a seat on the extra chair next to the bed while you sat on the sheets and moved your shirt up to reveal your never ending growing stomach.

“So the second trimester ultra-scanning is pretty much like the others. I go check if everything is alright, if she’s gaining as she’s supposed to and if the placenta is alright. It’s like any other checkup but instead of just going it all through and writing it down on a paper I explain it all to you.”

Dr. Sullivan pressed on the button to turn on her machine and rolled the chair to get the gel she always used for scanning. 

“I’ve actually made sure to heat it up this time. Last time you thought it was so cold you got goosebumps on your arms.” She smiled as she squeezed it out on your bump.

“I know but it was also because I had been standing outside waiting to come in and because of the not so hot weather anymore I was almost freezing to death.” You giggled and the feeling that the gel was for once warm was really nice.

You loved the connection you had with her. It was like you could tell her everything, spill all the details about your life and what you had been going through without her judging you a single bit

The last time you were here alone to get the gender scanning you spoke for almost an hour. It wasn’t just about the baby it was about everything. Getting to know each other a little bit better because she was currently going through a big part of your life and seeing the devoplment. 

“So should we see the little princess? It’s somehow so different to look at the screen now that you’ve adjusted to the gender.” She explained with a smile and used her remote to turn on the TV.

Within seconds the picture that you always looked most forward to was plastered on the screen. The  background noises of heartbeat was sweet music to your ears and you sat quietly with a hand in front of your lips.

“Wow she’s grown. You can start to see the face structures.” Ashton commented with a impressed look on his face.

“She definitely looks like you.”

“You can’t see that yet.” You laughed and slapped him in the arm but your eyes were quick to glance back at the screen and feel your heart skip a beat by the sight. 

God you could never not get enough of this. 

Dr. Sullivan continued to run the tests and explained here and there what was progressing or not. The baby girl was having a good weight but she did mention it wouldn’t be bad if you continued to eat a little bit more than you had done before. 

Meanwhile during the chit chats and talk with Dr. Sullivan moving the mouse around the screen to illustrate what she was explaining, Ashton looked over his shoulder confused.

He knew that interruptions weren’t supposed to happen during appointments like these but he swore he had heard the door open but it was quickly closed again.

“What’s wrong?” You asked with a hint of confuse.

“Nothing. I don’t think it was anything.” He replied and shook his head, both of you focusing back on the screen afterwards. 

And with eyes so focused on the screen of your baby girl none of you had taken notice of anything. The door had been wide open but the person standing there stopped in track once he saw the sight. 

It was with a frown and many more feelings to come Luke shut the door quietly on the other side and leaned against the wooden frame. 

He looked down at his shoes with thoughts racing around his mouth at once he didn’t know how to handle or what to say.

With a shaking head he let go of the door handle completely and disappeared down the hall of hospital beds completely empty of words to say. 

[elegantinternetbread-blog]

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[bananashemmo]

When We Collide (Part 6)

Pairing: Assistant!Y/N/CEO!Luke

Rating: NC-17

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Summary: He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand?

Twenty-something tequila shots, four different kinds of drinks and a bottle of champagne later you would have believed you weren’t able to feel anything. The banging sensation behind you was loud as Luke had smacked your back against the door but you barely felt a single feeling.

His finger was almost furiously tapping against the ring bell to his front door, desperately waiting for Patrick to open up because he hadn’t had time to inform about your arrivals, his lips nippling onto your bruises ones.

Safe to say, Luke was right about his sayings when he said that first kiss wouldn’t be the last of tonight.

The rest of the night had been a complete blur to be exact. You remembered the first tequila shot that had been served by the bartender at Carl’s but from that and to the next twenty ones you started losing track of counting.

You had never expected to be this drunk but never had you had such a fun night either. You neither had expected that Luke would fit in in a crowd of your friends, sitting a bit misplaced in the middle of the boot like the others but they seemed to love him, mainly because he was the one constantly ordering the drinks.

The glares from Nicole had been obvious you were surprised Luke hadn’t commented about it. The way she had looked over at you with confused eyes and mouthing a few words you weren’t able to understand with so many other things going on around you told that she wanted to express something.

It was only for a short second you understood what was going on when she dragged you out to the bathroom to have a cigarette and a short pee. She wasn’t mad but you could tell that she was suspicious about the way Luke was acting around you and let alone the fact that he had showed up.

“I just think he needs the proudness of actually hanging around with me without getting scolded at or rolled with the eyes.” You had slurred against the doorframe while watching her, almost wanting to loudly grimace when you saw your drunken reflection.

“He always wants this confirm from me and I don’t understand why.”

Nicole looked at you with wide eyes while hovering over the sink just to get a bit of water from all the drinks that had been served, she was still curious but she wasn’t wearing the same expression as before.

“He constantly touches your thigh and you don’t say a thing about it?”

“He does?” You looked over your shoulder to look back at the booths where they were sitting, getting eye contact with Luke for a short moment and watched him blink with his right eye in reaction.

“I almost feel like I can’t feel a thing.”

“How do you get home?” She ran a hand through her hair because of the sweat she had created from the crowded room, at first nobody had been there but it seemed as if everyone wanted to show up after midnight.

“Come on Nicole don’t be like a mom I live right across from the street. If you’d like you can hold my hand and follow me over the street.” You commented and felt a hand ghost right above your bum making you stand up straight from almost hovering over the doorframe, eyes wide when you noticed it was Luke walking past you.

“No it’s okay I just wanted to make sure. Joey was supposed to be our ride home back to college but I’m not sure if he’s even able to ride his bike.” She explained but before she could say more Luke chirped in into the conversation.

“I gave him a check to pay a taxi for you.”

“Actually, that’s okay.” Nicole replied a bit confused, you couldn’t tell whether it was because she was surprised that he had done it out of nowhere or the fact that her boss was suddenly nice.

“No he took the money already so expect a cab to pick you up soon because he seems like someone ready to fall asleep over the table.” He pointed towards where you had been sitting, Joey hovering over the table with a lukewarm beer and eyelids heavy.

“Well thank you very much then.” Nicole mumbled, deep down inside happy that she wasn’t supposed to drive two on a bike with Joey.

“You’re very welcome Penelope.” Luke responded and adjusted the tie around his neck before walking out towards the back exit to get outside, you didn’t know for what but you shrugged it off and tried not to laugh by Nicole’s reaction.

“Will he ever fucking know?” She rolled her eyes and looked back to the mirror to put her hair into a pony tail not wanting to deal with the hotness and sweat in her neck anymore by her long beautiful dark hair.

“Maybe you should just write it in your forehead.” You commented with a small giggle, knowing that it would only piss her off even more.

“Maybe you should just make him learn that my name is not Penelope. I mean he even hired me before you and he still can’t remember my goddamn name!”

“I will try on Monday, okay?” You smiled softly and felt how the world was spinning to the point of if you let go of the doorframe you would fall to the ground.

It wasn’t the first time you had been like this but it had definitely been a while. Being out of college meant that you weren’t that much invited to parties and such things down by the parks, you really wanted to tag along but you felt a bit misplaced when it came to that.

But it was nice to actually feel free for once and when all the others had to study for Monday’s classes with a thick hungover you could just hover over your old bed with a cup of coffee and watch Cartoons in the screen. You didn’t have to worry about anything else than meeting up at Monday morning with a donut from the Danish pastry down by the street right across from Luke’s building.

“So I just called my chauffeur he will pick us up in less than five minutes.” He showed up from the back entrance with cold wind added along and you looked up at him confusedly.

“Us?” You quivered an eyebrow confused but you still had a faint smile on your face.

“Get your coat.” He replied and didn’t want to say anything before he left to get his blazer.

You stood for a few seconds trying to register what was happening, looking over at Nicole who raised her hands in the air.

“I’m not gonna comment on that.” She mumbled and walked past you knowing that now she definitely didn’t have to share the responsibility of your drunken ass, hurrying out of the bathroom to head back to Joey but not before looking over her shoulder with a very teasing smile.

“Welcome home, Mr. Hemmings. May I grab your-, Oh.” Patrick was quick to stop in mid-sentence, his eyes a bit wide once he had finally opened the door for you and Luke.

“Thank you very much Patrick. Do something decent and go read a book or something. I won’t need your assistance tonight.” Luke ripped off his blazer and grabbed your coat to almost force it into Patrick’s embrace.

“Will do sir. Goodnight.” Patrick mumbled in the same enthusiastic voice, watching as Luke literally threw you over his shoulder and headed towards the stairs that lead to his bedroom.

In fact he didn’t let go of you until you were right in front of the large white door, his hands pinning yours to above your head once you were finally down on your feet again.

“You have no idea for how long I’ve been waiting for this.” He drunkenly slurred, his thumb caressing over your chin and leaned in for a kiss.

“I think I do.” You mumbled back before he connected your lips, deciding to open the door as well and almost made you fall down to the floor if it hadn’t for been the nice grip he had around your waist.

His bedroom was nearly as you had imagined. The large windows that were tall like the ceiling, the large king sized bed with a million pillows on it, it had all the features Luke showed in his attitude. He had a long grey fireplace with a large TV screen above it, a few pictures here and there but you didn’t get the chance to give it a small look.

His lips were nearly everywhere possible on your skin, going from your lips to your cheek, nose forehead and neck. There was lust clear by every kiss and you almost couldn’t tell whether it was because of him or the alcohol that your legs had turned into jelly.

“Oh my god.” You gasped once he connected you against the white large dresser against the window, it was so harshly that you managed to knock down a white and blue vase that instantly crashed once connecting with the shiny marble floor.

“I sincerely hope that wasn’t expensive.”

“An Imperial - around $22.6 million from Hong Kong but who counts.” He replied casually as if it was nothing and by that it was as if you had turned sober for a second and looked up at him with wide eyes.

“$22.6 million? For a freaking vase? Are you insane?”

“What?” He questioned as if you were being ridiculous, his breathing uneven from the intense makeout session.

“You think I would have bought a lazy one from IKEA?”

“I can’t even afford a vase from IKEA!” You almost wanted to argue and took yourself to your head. You could already feel the hangover ready to pound and even if your head wasn’t clear you could suddenly feel a gutted feeling creep up on your spine.

“Luke this is wrong.”

“What? How can it be wrong buying a fucking vase?” He questioned unaware and took a step back away from you, biting down on his lip and trying to focus on what you were trying to say. He was, after all, to the point of being completely hammered you had never seen him like this.

“We are fucking wrong you ass!” You yelled and tried not to step onto the broken pieces of the vase, jumping over not so elegantly to stand by his bed, “You taking me home all the time, your weird flirting at work and all of the sudden us making out! It’s all just wrong!”

“Does this feel wrong to you?” He questioned and motioned between the two of you, your mouth opening but no words seemed to come out by his question.

You had no idea how you were feeling. Everything just seemed like one big giant bomb of something that couldn’t turn out to be something great yet you were still there. You had showed up, you hadn’t been the one to deny or reject him this time, there was something different going on.

“Okay I’m sorry I just imagined that we would be in some sort of cheesy movie where we pretend that we’re soulmates.” He suddenly laughed and took you aback completely, “I just wanted to pretend to be a movie star just for a short moment.”

Your mind scanned the many horrible names you could possibly call him by his sudden outburst, not sure whether or not you wanted to knock something into his face by the annoying smirk coming back to his features.

Even in his drunken state Luke was still his annoying persona if not worse.

“Come on don’t be mad.” He gently laughed and grabbed your hand, “I mean even though we don’t fit with each other doesn’t mean I don’t fancy you. If it hasn’t come to your attention for a while I’ve tried for nothing more than your attention since I hired you.”

You watched him as he intertwined your fingers just to pull you closer, the smell on his alcohol clear once your lips were close to each other again. You didn’t know what was best, smack him or kiss him.

“I’m not mad.” You stated, taking a step back but still had your hand in his, “I just don’t want to be like the others.”

“The others?” Luke quivered an eyebrow confused and his lips tightened, “What do you mean by others?”

“Your other previous assistants.” You commented like it was obvious and widened your eyes, “Don’t you do this with all your assistants? Try on them, want to sleep with them and afterwards you just fire them because you got what you wanted?”

“You really think I’m like that?” He questioned and for one second you actually felt like you had thought wrong about the whole situation, “Because it has been like that but not anymore. You’ve been one hell of a chase Y/N I must admit.”

“I fucking knew it.” You mumbled below your breath and wanted to turn around but he still had your hand in his making sure that you didn’t leave.

“No Y/N you can’t just leave okay? I might be an ass and I’m aware of that but please don’t leave because I know you can’t walk home on your own right now.”

“But I don’t want to stay here.” You argued.

“Why not?”

“Because if I do, I know we’ll end up having sex!”

There it was, the truth. Your clit had been pulsing since the first time he had touched your thigh this evening and your makeout session hadn’t made it any better. You hadn’t had sex in a while and the way Luke was making you feel was out of the ordinary.

If he could just for the love of god shut up for one second you could actually clear your mind.

“Fine, Luke. One night, we never speak to each other again about this and you fucking promise that one, you won’t ever talk to a woman like you’ve done before and two, you make sure that I won’t get fired after this.”

“So what you’re saying is you’re sleeping with me for the money?” He smirked while loosening the black tie around his neck.

“No I’m saying that I’m sleeping with you because I want you to shut your fucking mouth.”

“And how would you be able to do that-,”

Before he could suppress any other word from his mouth you forcefully pressed him against the marble pillar and your lips finding his. He wasn’t even surprised by your action, his fingers finding your hips and digging into the skin harshly.

“Well choice.” His smiled into the kiss and deepened it, slipping his tongue in between your lips and dominated instantly.

You couldn’t tell why you were doing this but enough was enough. A single thought of how horrible you would feel after this both regarding awkwardness and your hungover was quickly brushed off when Luke took off your shirt, letting it fall to the ground and buttoned down his dress shirt.

You had seen him nude before but you could still feel yourself losing your breath once he loosened the belt around his pants but teasingly waited until you were completely nude until he finally settled on stripping down completely himself.

He went down on his knees to slip down your pants, the position reversed and your bare shoulder pressed against the cold marble pillar. Once you had gotten rid of your pants and socks he couldn’t avoid the small chuckle.

“I see you’re wearing the lingerie I gave you.” He teasingly commented and his thumb gazed over the fabric right where your clit was hiding, biting down on his lip when he looked up at you.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” You moaned and pressed yourself further against the pillar, closing your eyes and felt how your nipples were clear visible through the bra fabric by how hardened they had become.

“Gladly.” He leaned up to unclasp your bra behind your back easily as if he had done nothing else in his life but that, the fabric falling to the ground by the help of you and discarded the expensive clothing to the ground.

He slowly gazed the skin around your panties, making sure to tickle right by the inner part of your thighs knowing that it would have deep affection, his lips finding your hip and teasingly sucking.

He didn’t stop but waited until you were becoming impatient, your breathing becoming slower but also deeper, stomach rising and falling by every second that passed by without any further progress.

It felt as if it had been forever when he finally decided to hook his rough fingers around the hem of your panties, falling down to the ground in the same pace as before and revealing yourself to him completely.

You were ready to say something again but before you got the chance he attached his lips to what he could, hand holding onto your bum to make sure you wouldn’t be wiggling or moving around to his disadvantage.

“Fuck.” You moaned almost in a small whisper when his tongue started to lick over your clit repeatedly, feeling how it started to pulse and send bliss through your whole body. It was that pit in your stomach that made all the bad thoughts vanish, erased and completely gone from your mind.

His hair was tickling against your stomach and with his hand still holding onto your bum firmly and sometimes giving it a small slap you were sure you could come undone within seconds. You didn’t want to admit but he was doing amazingly work down there you had barely predicted it.

He had the attitude but you had never realized that it wasn’t just a stupid façade he was keeping to try act like someone he wasn’t.

“Come here.” You said lowly once you felt your knees trembling, sincerely not hoping that he would continue because this wasn’t the way you wanted to come.

“I need all of you.”

He stood up from his knees with glistering lips and hair completely messed from your tucking, his thumb coming up to remove some of the juices and placed it into his mouth.

“Salty like you.” He just had to say it and at any other moment you would have scolded at him but your thoughts were too blurred to let you say anything. You needed him, you didn’t care what it took because with how his tongue had worked you almost couldn’t imagine what he was hiding behind his tight pants.

Still making sure to keep the eye contact with you he loosened the belt from his pants completely and let it fall to the ground, leaning down to discard the rest of his clothes and show how his tip was to the point of leaking with precum down his red shaft.

In one swift movement he leaned down to grab your thighs and lift you up, barely having the time to wrap your legs around his waist before he had you on top of his bed, pillows almost making you invisible in the large pile but it was definitely more comfortable than you had felt for a while.

There was something about his lips that made you feel in such bless you weren’t sure if it was because of the alcohol. He had nice lips there was no doubt, you even felt the small hole from what you assumed was a lip ring was charming.

It added a bit of definition to his otherwise always fancy attitude and you could just imagine how it must have felt to kiss with one. He had the thing with both being very gentle but also lustful and rough when kissing you and pressing you further against the pillow crowded bed.

“You know you just have to tell me if anything hurts but by how wet you are I assume it’s gonna be alright.” He said something for the first time in a while after yet another intense makeout session, his arms resting on either side of your head.

“I’m not the only one being ‘wet’.” You commented and leaned down to grab his shaft, running your hand over it a few times and watching as his eyes closed in pure bless.

It was amusing to see how much power you suddenly had over him. That was definitely the first time since your first meeting, the way he was slowly rocking back and forth to the pace of your hand making him harder and harder to the point of being close to orgasm.

When it was enough he leaned down to grab your hand and moved his member down to your entrance, just like he had predicted your folds were almost drowned with juices from when he had been licking you before and with a gentle push he was already half inside of you.

“I think it’s safe to say we both fucking are.” He commented and started to rock back and forth, wanting to find the right pace where it would be pleasurable for the both of you but also making sure that it wouldn’t be too hard for him.

With every thrust he gave you, you sunk further down onto the mattress. There wasn’t any doubt that he had been waiting for this as well, most probably not been with someone for a while because you hadn’t seen him invite anyone into his office other than you.

“Y/N I’m just gonna say this,” He breathed out, sweat forming on his forehead to the point of the sheets not even being cold anymore from being untouched.

“I’m drunk as hell and it won’t be long before I cum.”

“That’s okay. I think I’m too drunk to even get a release.” You held onto his hair again and swung your legs around his waist just to get that feeling of him hitting right in the spot, your legs trembling but you knew that would only be it.

Being so drunk only left you too unfocused to even see the final of a release and just the act itself was good enough for you. It was fine that he didn’t last for long because if you thought about it he could just pay back another time.

But would there be another time? You didn’t really understand what was going on but you couldn’t give it a second thought because Luke suddenly groaned loudly, his body completely still and holding onto you for dear life.

It was warm and fuzzy against your legs and thighs feeling how his member was pulsing with a drunken intense orgasm that left him completely breathless, almost to the point of falling on top of you.

“Oh my god.” He commented and fell onto the sheets next to you, his heart beating so loudly he was sure you were able to hear it too.

“High five for drunk sex.” He raised his hand in the air once he had folded the sheets over your sweaty nude bodies, the both of you looking up at the ceiling where small mirrors were reflecting you.

“High five.” You mumbled breathlessly and smacked your hand against his, feeling your eyelids grow heavy in tiredness but also a suspicious feeling creep up your spine by tonight’s events.

Part 7