#main verse // dying for money's one thing that's my choice

[prgenitor]

@fiercehearts asked: [ slap ] sender slaps receiver in the face / piers

the second piers's hand connects, jake forgets any rational thought — frustration both welling and bursting simultaneously as he lunges forward, hands slamming into the other man's shoulders, violently shoving him towards the nearest wall. ❝ c'mon! you wanna finally have it out? let's go, man. ❞ arms spread out at his sides, beckoning him to a fight. he feels so damn high-strung, veins thrumming with adrenaline. maybe if they let go, fucking had it out, it would be enough.

he's not sure he's met anyone half as infuriating as piers. and yet, he couldn't pretend like he doesn't have a role in it. he had a way of prodding people until they snapped. and for some reason, it was too damn easy with the soldier.

but jake's never had a hold on regulating his emotions. sometimes it feels like he was born with rage hovering just above.

❝ no weapons, just you and me. ❞

[some-jw-things]

For me personally, one of the hardest aspects of leaving a cult was how it fucked up my perception of love.

“Love-bombing” is a recruitment technique. You walk in through that door for the first time, and the entire congregation can’t wait to greet you and befriend you and they’re sometimes actually counting every minute they spend speaking to you so they can log it in their service report. You are offered instant love from a whole new community, for seemingly nothing, just for being there. Not earned, not gradual. Everyone in a Kingdom Hall loves one another

There were brothers and sisters I had never spoken to directly and that I didn’t know the names of. I was told since I was born that I should be willing to give my life and die for any one of them, no exceptions whatsoever. You aren’t allowed to dislike or openly have any issues with anyone in the congregation because of this specifically.

And then on top of this, we’re taught that only Jehovah’s Witnesses have love among themselves. There’s approximately 20 Bible verses they use to back this, they talk about the moral atrocities of every other religion as proof but of course the Society has never had a scandal ever— at least not one we were told about, and with the “don’t read outside sources” doctrine, they can get away with anything. They can get away with painting themselves as the only true, pure, morally upright religion in existence

When I said I was leaving, my dad told me straight up that I would never experience love again in my life. Only Jehovah’s Witnesses has that.

I know it’s easier to explain and more relatable for worldly people when we talk about the sky burning in Armageddon, friends and family falling and dying by our sides, going underground to live in a bunker and hide from the government, facing permanent eternal death— all those things that the Society has promised us, and we can point to and say they’re terrifying. It’s easy. It’s understandable.

The part that’s harder to explain is that I’ve expected my whole life that I’ll die young but the idea of living completely alone and unloved for however much longer I have— that kept me in a lot longer than the other stuff did. It’s a very effective control mechanism, being told that no one will ever genuinely care for you outside of this group

And then there’s the shit that Witnesses do to family relationships

At varying points in time, I have been fully convinced that the only things keeping my mother from leaving my dad were the congregation punishments and financial concerns. It’s a bit like their marriage came straight out of the 1940s: divorce is a sin, would get them disfellowshipped, and my mom doesn’t have the money to live on her own even if she could. My dad doesn’t do any of the housework whatsoever— all of that gets pushed to his wife and children. My mother blames herself for this, because apparently it’s her fault for “spoiling” him when he got badly injured twenty years ago. My dad, being the head of the household, has the final authority on any of our decisions he chooses to involve himself in, despite knowing almost nothing about what’s going on with us at any given time. The disparity of the housework wouldn’t be so bad, but my parents both work full time, not just my dad.

A few years back, my sister and I were in an extended period of anger over this. We weren’t outright trying to convince mom to leave dad (her main defense being that she was getting older and she had made her choice years ago), but it came damn close. My sister asked mom to name three things she loved about dad.

A half hour later, she didn’t have any.

She loves my dad, in the way a Christian wife loves her Christian husband. She couldn’t name any specific way, but she insists she does. She will never leave him.

They love each other. I know this. I don’t understand it.

I was terrified by the idea of marriage since I was eight years old. For Jehovah’s Witnesses, marriage is in no way between equals. I’ve gotten in trouble for implying that men and women could be equal. Marriage under this system means an even bigger loss of autonomy than I already had. The JW idealized loving relationship looks like hell to me

I said earlier that I was going to talk about familial love but I got sidetracked by romance, I’m coming back to it now

Familial love is completely 100% conditional. A JW will receive love if and only if they adhere to a strict set of terms. Upon violation of the terms, all love will be immediately revoked.

When a Jehovah’s Witness leaves the religion, their friends and family are supposed to shun them. No contact whatsoever, through any medium. If the ex-JW is an adult, they’re supposed to be kicked out of the house. If they’re still a minor, they are allowed to continue living there and communication is allowed only as far as it is needed for household functioning

This is love for Jehovah’s Witnesses. It is instant, enduring, boundless, to the extent of being willing to give your life for one another within seconds of finding out someone is a fellow brother or sister.

Until you commit a sin. Sinning makes you unlovable, here.

A girl I grew up with was kicked out, homeless, not even given time to pack a bag, because she fell in love with a worldly boy and interfaith dating is not allowed. This had nothing to do with any sexual sin. The boy just wasn’t a Jehovah’s Witness, and that was enough.

There was a man who left the congregation years back, along with his wife. He contacted his mother a few years later and wanted her to meet his kids. He wanted them to spend at least one day together. She told him very bluntly that she wanted nothing to do with him or his family anymore. She relayed this story in service, and everyone comforted her and told her how strong she was, how proud Jehovah must be.

Romantic love is bound up in rigid rules. You do not sit next to someone of a different gender unless you’re engaged or close to it. You don’t go on dates without a chaperone, you don’t spend even a minute alone without a chaperone. Texting and dating have a blurred line, so that needs to be policed. If you date for over a year, then you’re leading that person on. You’re a spinster or a bachelor by age 25. Divorce is a sin. Divorce will get you disfellowshipped.

There was a woman in my congregation who went to Bethel and met a man there. They knew each other for two weeks before getting engaged. And divorce is a disfellowshipping offense. There were so many older couples in my congregation who had stories like that, who had dated for only a handful of months, and I guess they love each other like my parents love each other

We’re told that disfellowshipping is a loving arrangement. Shunning is an expression of love. It’s spiritual rock bottom: it’s meant to be the wake up call that makes you realize how badly you need God and the Org. It’s meant to be incentive to repent, start following all the rules again, and beg for reinstatement. You want to see your loved ones again, don’t you? And they want to see you. That’s why they’re doing this, see, because they love you and care about you.

In the cult, love is used almost exclusively to hurt people.

[goldenraeofsun]

the best day with you

Part of this verse!

Dean taps Claire on the shoulder. “You got plans for this weekend?”

Claire twists on their couch to see him and sets aside her laptop. With narrowed eyes full of suspicion, she grabs the remote and mutes Dr. Sexy. “Why?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

Dean rolls his eyes. This is why he became a teacher. To help teenagers. Not to strangle them for sassing him to his face. Sure, Claire might be a sophomore in college now, and she’s not really a teenager anymore, but Dean’s never going to see her as anything but an angsty junior in high school. Especially if she keeps up the this attitude. Dean says, as evenly as he can, “Because I want to do something with you.”

Claire grimaces. “Really? Don’t you have other boring old man friends to do things with? Like, for instance, your boyfriend?”

“No,” Dean says. “Cas is going to visit Gabriel in LA this week.”

“And you chose to stay behind with me instead?” Claire says, her eyebrows rising to her hairline.

“Yes.”

“Are you dying?” 

“What?” Dean gapes. “No!”

Claire squints at him. “Are you hoping I can score drugs for you?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “I can get my own drugs, thanks. It’s one of the perks of being a real live adult.”

“Do you need money?”

“If I did,” Dean starts incredulously, “why would I ask a broke college student?”

“I don’t know,” Claire says with a shrug. “Dementia? That kicks in about now for you, right?”

Dean’s mouth falls open. “I’m barely thirty-four!”

Claire shrugs. “Alzheimers?”

“That’s a kind of dementia,” Dean tells her flatly. He runs a hand down his face. “Look, are you free or not, kid?”

Dean is pretty sure she doesn’t have plans, judging by the way she’s religiously camped out on their couch for the past two weeks straight. She's abandoned her spot only to go to the bathroom, eat meals, and, on one memorable occasion, visit her parents for Sunday dinner. The living room her space now - which is fine with him, Dean’s been doing his summer school grading at the kitchen table. Along with her computer, Claire’s got the coding handbook Charlie Frankenstien-ed for her out of a bunch of different documents, probably all downloaded and printed illegally. On the television, she cycles through daytime soaps and CW evening dramas.

Claire grins. “On Saturday or something? Yeah.”

He rolls his eyes. “Was that so hard?”

“No, but it was fun.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re a handful?” Dean says as he turns to head back into the kitchen. Lunch wasn’t going to make itself, and Cas was due back any minute from his errands.

“Just my parents, every day from age thirteen to eighteen,” Claire says casually as she reaches for the remote to resume Dr. Sexy.

Dean freezes. “Hey,” he starts, not really sure where he’s going with this.

“What?” Claire snaps as if annoyed, but her face is guarded. 

“Your parents were asshats, you know that?” Dean says. “They shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“Yeah, well, you know what they say about family,” Claire mutters as she turns up Dr. Sexy.

In the middle of her junior year of high school, Claire moved in with Cas for about six months.

Early in the year, she had an explosive argument with her parents about transferring from their preferred private school to Edlund High. She also came out to them.

Dean has the sneaking suspicion Claire doesn’t think she had it that bad. Her parents didn’t hit her. They didn’t kick her out. They didn’t even stop giving her her allowance.  But they didn’t talk to her for days on end. They ignored her until she needed something from them, or the other way around. By Christmas, Claire had had enough. She left.

Back then, Dean told Claire her parents were in the wrong as many times as she would let him - which wasn’t many.

Cas took the lead with her, instead. She was his family. He found her a therapist and encouraged her to make friends at Edlund. Dean didn’t really feel like it was his place. She was Cas’s niece, and Dean was the guy who stayed over a couple times a week when she was crashing there too. And then he became her teacher when the transfer to Edlund became official. Still, she wouldn’t consider him family.

“My uncle always said, ‘family don’t end in blood,’” Dean tells her seriously.

Claire slumps back on the couch. “Right,” she says dully.

Dean takes a step back, rubbing his neck as he swallows down his next few words. He’s not about to give a heartfelt lecture on family and healthy boundaries to someone who’s going to grumble and groan through it. He jerks his head towards the kitchen. “I’ll get started on-”

Claire interrupts, “But that’s not grammatically correct. Aren’t you an English teacher? Who gave you a license to teach?”

Dean snorts. “Just think about it, will you?”

“Uh huh,” Claire waves him off. “If you’re going to the kitchen, can you make me a sandwich?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yes, Your Majesty. Cas finished off the strawberry jelly while he was grading essays last night, so you’re gonna have to settle for grape.”

Claire makes a face but nods. Dean’s almost at the kitchen door when she asks, “Your uncle, was he really your uncle?”

Dean shakes his head. “Not by blood. He was a good friend of my dad’s. But he was as good as family - better than, sometimes.” He swallows. Bobby’s been gone two years now. Dean had thought the grief when his dad passed was bad, but it was a whole other beast with Bobby.

Claire squints at him, looking so much like Cas Dean can’t help the warm feeling in his chest. “This is your show, right?” she asks out of the blue, gesturing to the television.

Dean blinks. “Yeah?”

And that’s how Cas finds them ten minutes later, eating PB&Js on the couch, watching Dr. Sexy - with Claire skewering every characterization and costume choice, and Dean defending Dr. Sexy’s cowboy boots with his life.

* * *

“Minigolf, really?” Claire asks as they pull into the parking lot on a bright Saturday afternoon. The early-summer temperatures are already high enough to make Dean sweat in the Impala, and Claire’s shorts could double as bikini bottoms, they’re so small.

She adds, “You realize I have a fake ID and we could probably go to a bar or something.”

“One,” Dean says as he slams the car door shut, “minigolf is a classic American pastime. Much better for your liver than drinking. And B, don’t ever tell Cas about that fake.”

 Claire clambers out of the car. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Just making sure,” Dean says airily as he starts walking. He holds out his hand as she jobs to catch up to him. “Lemme see it.”

“Why?” she asks suspiciously as she digs for her wallet in her purse and fishes the ID out.

“Nice job,” Dean says as he holds it up to the sunlight shining overhead. “Ash?”

Claire stops short, surprised. “What?”

“Did Ash do this one?” Dean asks. “Come on,” he tells her as he nudges her shoulder to keep her moving out of the middle of the parking lot. “Nobody else does ‘em this good.”

“How do you know that?” Claire demands.

Dean laughs. “I told you I can get my own drugs.”

“Ash deals too?” Claire asks, looking hopeful.

Dean leans over to ruffle her hair. “His dope is a little out of your price range, squirt.”

“Hey!” Claire squawks as she tries to smooth everything back into place. “And nobody calls it ‘dope’ any more, you doof.”

Dean grins. “Yeah, I know.”

They enter the main building and get in line to rent the putters. It smells strongly of sunblock and worn down parental patience. A few parents wait ahead of them, all older than Dean with kids younger than Claire. A group of high schoolers are inspecting a row of putters on display on the far wall. Through the windows to the back, Dean can see a splendid display of mostly-intact astroturf and course obstacles with sun-faded paint.

The guy behind the counter is wearing an obnoxiously bright shirt and smile. “Hiya,” he says cheerily as they step up to the counter, “I’m Garth, welcome!”

“Two adults please,” Claire says quickly, like she knows Dean was going to ask for a kid’s ticket to mess with her.

“You got it,” Garth says as he bends down to grab two putters. “The bathrooms are by Hole 7, and if you want to grab lunch across the way at Fenris’s Diner, show them your receipt and you’ll get 15% off.”

Dean steps forward with his wallet. “Do you know if they have pie?”

Garth smiles wider, showing even more teeth, which Dean didn’t think was possible. “You bet! The best darn cherry pie I’ve ever tasted.”

“Awesome,” he says. “Thanks, man.”

“Thank you!” Garth says as he rings them up. “And good luck on the course!”

* * *

Dean is uncomfortably sweaty by Hole 2, and Claire piles her hair on top of her head in a messy bun to cool off her neck halfway through Hole 4.

“Swing batter, batter, swing!” Dean shouts from right behind her as she hits the ball at Hole 6.

Claire glares at him as her ball knocks against the windmill blade and skips off to the side. “That’s for baseball, idiot.”

“But you still missed,” Dean points out as he sidles up to tee. “So does it really matter? Hey!” She kicks him in the ankle as he strikes at the ball. “You cheater,” he gasps dramatically.

“So what?” Claire asks, putter swinging ominously at her side, “You gonna tell on me?”

Dean frowns. “No, but I won't buy you any pie when this is all over.” He keeps his eyes peeled for an opportunity to mess with her as she takes another stab at the windmill.

“Fine with me. I like cake better.”

Dean raises his head to gape at her. “Seriously?”

Claire throws him a funny look. “Does it matter?”

Dean’s mouth works furiously. “You ate the last slice of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving two years ago.”

Claire’s eyebrows climb to her hairline as she leans against the windmill and watches him take another stab at it. “You remember that?”

Dean hardly watches where his ball goes. “Of course I do.”

Jimmy and Amelia had elected to have Thanksgiving at Cas’s mother’s place. Cas, whose frosty relationship with his mother wasn’t helped by her dismissive attitude towards Claire, hosted a separate Thanksgiving at the (then) new house he shared with Dean. Sam and Jess flew in from California, and Claire was, of course, invited too. They were having a fucking blast, until Claire stole the last slice of pie right out from under Dean’s nose.

Claire snickers under her breath. “You’re so weird.”

Dean glares. “I called dibs.”

“I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about, McMurphy,” Claire says, the liar. She crouches to get a better look at the windmill. 

Dean tries to suppress his smile. “Was that a One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest reference?”

Claire rolls her eyes. “I paid attention in your class, you know. Even if you gave me an A-minus.”

Dean grins. “But you got a 5 on the AP Exam.”

Claire does a little jig as her ball falls into the hole. 

* * *

“What the fuck?” Dean howls as his ball stops just short of Hole 9. Parents chaperoning a group of five kids at Hole 10 glare daggers at him.

Claire laughs uproariously. “Sucks to suck, old man.”

“Hey!” Dean glowers as she sinks a hole in one. 

“What’s that?” Claire holds her putter up in victory. “Did you see that? Did that go in the hole? I wasn’t watching. Did the ball go in the hole?”

“Shut up, kid,” Dean grumbles as Claire smirks. “It wasn’t funny the first time.” He concentrates on his next shot. God help him if he fucks up with his ball barely half a foot from the hole.

One of the toddlers at Hole 10 lets out an ear-splitting shriek, and Dean’s ball skips off in the direction of Hole 13.

Claire doubles over laughing.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean grumbles as he sidesteps her to go fetch it, “Like you would’ve done any better.”

“I just did. Or did you miss my hole in one?” Claire asks from right behind him.

“I’m hungry,” Dean declares.

“Okay…?” Claire squints at him.

Dean nods to a hotdog stand by Hole 14. “Whaddya say to a dog?”

“Mystery meat at a roadside attraction that hasn’t been renovated since ‘97? Sign me up,” Claire says sarcastically.

Dean claps her on the back, just a shade too hard. “That’s the spirit.”

She stumbles but doesn't fall - exactly Dean’s plan - and glares at him. “If I get E. coli, it’s your fault.”

Once hotdogs are in hand, they sit and eat on a worn bench that’s more chipped paint than bench, facing a dinky little fountain. A few pennies glint dully from at bottom, almost obscured by the bright midday sunlight reflecting off the surface of the water.

“So,” Claire says after she takes her first bite. “You wanna tell me what this is all about?”

“What?”

“This whole distant dad trying to reconnect with his kid routine,” Claire says.

“I - I’m not your dad,” Dean stutters, face heating. 

“Duh. Dad was more of Church retreat guy.” She leans back on the bench, stretching out her legs, and tilts her face up to catch more sun. “I would’ve had a better time if there was no singing and 100% more hitting things.”

Dean asks haltingly, “So you don’t think this is weird?”

“What hanging out with you?” Claire asks, her smile guileless. “I heard elder enrichment is important to prevent cognitive decline, so I’m just doing my duty.” She laughs at his disappointed frown. “Relax. This has been… great.”

“Really?”

Claire finishes off her hotdog and balls up the aluminum foil wrapper. “Yeah. Don’t let it go to your head.”

Dean gets up to put her trash and his in the garbage and manages to stow his broad smile before he gets back.

* * *

“Hole in one!” Dean crows at Hole 15.

“Do you want a gold star?” Claire snarks as she tees up.

“Shut up.”

Claire swings, and they both watch as her ball deftly navigates around the bumps and turns to sink neatly into the hole.

Dean’s smile falls off his face as Claire jumps around in victory. “Lucky shot,” he tells her as they troop to Hole 16.

“Uh huh,” Claire says. “And that makes, what seven lucky shots for me? And how many holes in one have you had?”

At the next hole, they have to wait for the large family ahead of them to finish up.

“Oh my god,” Claire mutters as one of the parents demonstrates how to properly swing the putter for the youngest child, “it’s minigolf. Not the Olympics.”

“I know, right?” Dean says in an undertone. “Who cares how she hits the ball? If she wants to bowl it down the course, let her.”

“Seriously, who gives a fuck?”

“I bet she’s gonna scream before they’re done with the lesson.”

“What?”

“Water works in 5… 4… 3…”

They wait with bated breath as, sure enough, the child sits down in the middle of the course and wails. She refuses to even touch the putter.

“How did you know that was gonna happen?” Claire asks as the family moves on. She eyes him critically. “High schoolers aren’t the tantrum type.”

“Shows what you know,” Dean snorts. No matter the point of spending today with Claire, he wasn’t about to tell her how he became an expert in toddler care. Christ, he can still remember the sticky feeling of Sammy’s vomit all over his front when he cried so hard he puked. Dean’s crime? Telling Sammy his favorite blanket needed to be washed. Dean hadn’t even taken it away yet. 

Dean tells Claire instead, “I’ve seen more meltdowns over bad essay grades than I’d like. And it’s not like I can say, well, you should have read the damn book, Ava.”

“You wouldn’t say something like that,” Claire says as she bends down to set up her ball.

“Of course not,” Dean rolls his eyes, “that makes it worse.”

Claire straightens. “No, I’m saying, you would probably ask her why she didn’t have the time to read the book; if she’s tried the audiobook instead; if you should talk to Mr. Lafitte for her since she spent too long on Algebra and didn’t get to your homework.” She shrugs, meeting his eyes briefly. “You would do something like that.”

Dean blinks because she’s got him exactly right. He’s a firm believer that there’s no such thing as a lazy student. There are unmotivated students; there are students with undiagnosed ADHD or dyslexia; and there are anxious and/or depressed students. Hell, there are students with side-jobs, bills to pay, and little brothers to look after.

“Yeah,” he agrees, discomfited. Claire was his student for one year, but her presence in class was kind of eclipsed by her rocky home life. In senior year, she was back with her parents, but she also caught up regularly with Cas. In class, she faded into the background - Kaia’s blonde shadow. Cas’s stories provided Dean with more insight than any discussion on The Plot Against America ever did.

“All the seniors loved you,” Claire says. “Max Banes would’ve slept with you if he could.”

Dean hits his ball right into the mini sand pit. “What?”

Claire smirks. “You didn’t know?”

“No!”

“Uncle Cas was right, you are oblivious,” Claire says as she whacks her ball straight into the hole.

“Hey,” Dean says, but the protest is weak. “Cas wasn’t much better.”

Claire grins. “No one’s arguing that.” She waits until Dean’s mid-swing to say, “Max would’ve slept with Uncle Cas too - which, gross.”

“Dammit, Claire!”

* * *

“Okay,” Claire says as they walk away from Hole 18. “I’m gonna need to sit in AC for at least forty-five minutes.”

They’ve been out in the sun for nearly two hours now. Dean pulls his damp shirt away from his stomach with a grimace. “You down for pie?”

“Sure,” Claire says gratefully as they leave minigolf behind them.

In the diner, the air conditioning hits them like a bucket of cold water to the face. Claire throws herself into the first both they see as Dean troops off to relieve himself in the bathroom. He checks his phone - one grumpy text from Cas about Gabriel’s inappropriate choice of swimwear for a hotel pool - and exits with a smile on his face.

Back at the booth, Claire is twirling a lock of blonde hair around her finger, smiling coyly up at the waitress from lowered lashes. But Claire's inviting expression flips off like a switch as Dean drops down into the opposite seat.

The waitress’ own sunny smile takes on a distinctly plastic sheen at his arrival. “Hello!” she chirps as Dean picks up the menu. “Is there anything I can get you besides water?”

“Can I get a coke?” Dean asks the waitress - Maggie, according to her nametag. She’s tall, probably taller than Claire, and dark-haired. She seems around Claire's own age, so Dean would bet she’s only working here as a summer job.

Claire is still glaring daggers at him, so Dean asks, partly to be a dick, “And what’re you getting, Claire?”

“Water,” she says through gritted teeth.

“A coke and a water, please,” Dean says cheerfully to Maggie. 

She bobs a nod and casts a lingering look at Claire. “I’ll be right back to take your order.”

Claire kicks him under the table as she disappears into the kitchen. “You couldn’t have waited another five minutes?” she hisses “I was just about to get her number.”

Dean grins. “My bad.” 

“Now she thinks I’m here with my dad or something.” Claire crosses her arms across her chest.

Dean rolls his eyes. “You call me an old man, but I’m, what, twelve years older than you? We’re more likely to be on a date.”

Claire’s flat-out horrified face is enough to make Dean’s week. He’s still laughing as Maggie makes a return, one water and one Coca Cola in tow. 

“So what can I get you both?” Maggie asks as she reaches for her pad and pen.

“One slice of cherry pie, thanks,” Dean says brightly.

“Nothing for me,” Claire mumbles.

Maggie looks from Claire to Dean and back again. “One cherry pie,” she confirms slowly. “Should I bring out two forks?”

Over Dean’s fresh bout of laughter, Claire says loudly, “We’re not together!”

Maggie blinks a few times, and Dean can’t tell if she’s more shocked by his reaction or Claire’s. “Okay.”

As she leaves, Claire buries her head in her hands. Her voice is muffled by her hands and hair, but Dean can make out, “This is all your fault.”

“How?” Dean asks as he sucks on his straw. “It’s not my fault if you’ve got no game, kid.”

Claire slumps onto the table. “I used to.”

“Stalking doesn't count as ‘game’ or else Cas and me would have gotten together way before we did,” Dean says sagely.

Still face-down on the table, Claire flips him the bird.

“Have you spoken to Kaia lately?”

Claire doesn’t move for a long moment. When she finally raises her head, her expression is pinched. “Not since Spring Break last year. She was doing good, I guess.”

Awkwardly, Dean says, “It’s okay if you’re still hung up on her.”

Claire waves his assurances away. “It’s been a whole fucking year."

Dean sighs. “These things can take time. You were with her while a lot was going on in your life, and she was there for you through all of it. Just ’cause you're young doesn’t mean it meant less. But if you want to move on, sometimes you don’t have to wait until you’re 100% ready.”

“Thanks, Senpai.”

Maggie approaches carrying a large slice of cherry pie.

“Here you go,” Maggie says as she sets the plate down. “Anything else I can get you?”

“Nothing for me,” Dean butts in before Claire can get a word in edgewise, “But Claire, here, would like your number.”

Maggie goes bright red.

“Dean,” Claire hisses, completely mortified. “What the fuck?” She turns to Maggie. “Forget what he said. He’s a moron who doesn't know what he’s talking about.”

Maggie glances to Dean before settling back on Claire. “So… you don’t want it?”

Claire splutters, “I - no - yes, but not if-” She takes a breath, clearly trying to compose herself. “Yes, I would like your number. But not because he said so.”

“You don’t have to decide now.” Dean fishes out his wallet and takes out a five. “It won’t affect your tip,” he says with a wink as he shoves the bill under the napkin dispenser.

Maggie bites her lip. “I’ll think about it.”

Once Maggie’s left, Claire leans over the table and punches Dean, hard, in the arm. “Oh my god, are you actually braindead?”

“Hey, watch the pie!” Dean yanks his plate closer, out of Claire’s line of fire.

“What on earth possessed you to do that?” Claire demands.

Dean eyes his pie, planning his perfect plan of attack. “You needed a push in the right direction.”

Claire’s eyes flash. “I don’t need your help.”

“Tough luck, because you got it anyway,” Dean says with a shrug as portions off his first bite. “You’re only here for the summer. You don’t have the time to pine from across the softball field for a whole season.”

Claire frowns, saying warily, “I know Maggie isn’t Kaia.”

Dean points his fork, dripping with pie filling at her face. “So you gotta try a new strategy.”

“How?”

“Well, get yourself a capable wingman, for starters,” Dean says around his next bite of pie.

“Who? You?” Claire asks incredulously.

“Probably not,” Dean says, shuddering at the thought. He’d intervened with Maggie because was fucking funny as hell to see Claire get Cas-levels of awkward, but scoping out any more romantic prospects for Claire makes him feel sleazy. “I’m more of a pinch hitter.”

“What?”

“You really didn’t pay attention to a single softball game, did you?” Dean says, almost impressed.

Claire glares.

“They’re the guys called in last minute to fill in for a batter,” Dean says. He shovels the last bit of pie into his mouth, saying, “Did you keep in touch with Krissy?”

Claire shakes her head. “They were all Kaia’s friends first, so…”

“She got them in the divorce?” Dean says sympathetically.

Claire nods, her expression darkening.

“I know she’s back home for the summer too, taking care of her dad,” Dean says. “I bet she could use someone to hang with - if you ever get bored coding from our couch. Data entry for Charlie can’t be that exciting. Don’t tell her I said that.”

Claire rolls her eyes. “You don’t need to set up playdates for me, Dean.”

Dean shrugs. “Suit yourself. But none of Krissy’s other friends are back home - Josephine’s abroad, and the rest of ‘em are staying in their college towns.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Dean nods. That’s probably as good as he’ll ever get with Claire - she’s not the type to gratefully accept help. She’s more likely to complain to his face while going behind his back and doing it anyway. Which, fine, if it gets Claire out of their apartment and out of her funk.

On their way out, Maggie leaves her number on their receipt.

* * *

Claire slams the Impala door shut and relaxes in the passenger seat. “Well that was fun,” she says sarcastically as Dean twists around to pull out of the parking lot without mowing down an unfortunate 1999 Toyota Camry. “Let’s do that again soon.”

“Really?” Dean asks. At her blank stare, he adds, “I never know with you. Did you really have a good time?”

She fiddles with her seatbelt, biting her lip. “I won’t say this again, so cherish this moment: today was not the worst day I’ve ever had.” She huffs out a long breath. “It was almost fun, if you forget that shit in the diner.”

Dean laughs. “I’ll take it, I guess.” He taps his fingers against the wheel as he waits for an opening in traffic to merge onto the highway. “I’m glad.”

“Me too,” Claire mutters, so low he can barely hear her.

Dean lets the noise of the road take over for a few minutes: the reassuring rattling of the toy soldiers in the back air vent; his baby’s engine purring like a dream; the low ambient hum of her tires carrying them across miles of pavement.

Once he’s as calm as he’s gonna get, he says, “I have a question for you.”

Claire shoots him a look. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

Dean shouldn’t have bothered asking. She really is incapable of being anything other than a teenager. 

“I’m thinking of asking Cas to marry me,” Dean says quickly. As Claire absorbs his words, his heart kicks up to double-time, hammering away in his chest. “Would you be okay with that?” 

“Why are you asking me?” Her eyebrows are drawn together in that same furrow that Cas always has whenever a student stumps him with a question. 

“Because you’re his family.” He’s honestly surprised he has to say this part out loud.

“Shouldn’t you be asking Grandmother instead?” Claire asks.

Dean shakes his head. “Cas doesn’t care about her opinion - or Jimmy’s.”

Claire takes another long moment to think that over. “So… are you, what, asking my permission?”

“Yep.”

“To marry my uncle.”

Dean shoots her a look. “I really don’t think the concept is that hard to understand.” Claire’s a smart kid. She’s probably drawing it out on purpose.

“Yeah, but -” Claire breaks off, “It’s weird, though.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “You literally called me a weird old man yesterday.”

“But… not this weird.”

“It’s a yes or no question, Claire,” Dean reminds her testily.

Claire waves him off. “I mean, yes, obviously, but what the hell?” Her eyes narrow, accusatory. “Is this why you made me do this weird bonding thing with you today?”

“I -” Dean stutters. “I didn’t make you-”

“It is!” Claire crows. “Were you thinking about it for all 18 holes?”

“No,” Dean says shortly.

“I don’t believe you.” Claire grins. “Were you nervous?”

“No.”

“Yeah, I’m calling BS again. You gotta work on that poker face.” She sits back in her seat, her smugness practically radiating off her in waves. 

Dean has the strangest urge to hug her.

Claire lets her hair fall over her face as she picks at her nails. “Just so you know,” she starts in an undertone, “I know it was you who convinced Uncle Cas to take me in. Back in high school.”

“Cas wanted to be there for you,” Dean says quickly, “He just didn’t know how. Honestly,” he says with a laugh, “Cas was scared he’d piss you off more, and then where would you go?”

“Really?” Claire asks, surprised.

Dean nods. “The guy is a great teacher, but he’s not great with kids if there isn’t a desk between them, you know? He's been working on it, though. Having you around taught him a lot.”

“That makes sense,” Claire says, almost to herself. “Anyway, I’ve only really known Uncle Cas while you were together. It’d be more weird if you didn’t get married.”

Dean doesn’t bother turning on the turn signal as he pulls over to the side of the road.

“What the-?” Claire starts, twisting in her seat to look out the window. “Why’d you - oof.”

Dean wraps his arms around her, squeezing tightly.

“Ugh,” she groans, “You smell.” But she hugs him back anyway.

[voices-ringing-out]

CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY: Eli the Devi

Trigger Warning for Christianity references/allegories

“My friends are dead because of my teachings! The way of love - it wasn’t the way for Gabrielle. I was too proud to see that. What good is this gift if I can’t at least protect the ones I love? Why did you even give this to me? What am I supposed to do? You show me! What am I supposed to do?”

                                                           ~*~

Eli was born to Malachi and Sarita, but never had a chance to know his mother, who passed away shortly after he was born. It had been natural causes; she had fallen ill partway through her pregnancy with Eli, and held onto strength long enough to bring him into the world, to get to know him and help Malachi come to terms with what would be happening before she passed.

To his credit, Malachi tried his hardest to be a good father. He put aside any and all habits that might hinder his ability to provide the best life he could for his son; no more drinking, no more journeys that might prove risky. His world revolved around three things and three things only: his child, working to provide for them, and keeping his wife’s memory alive.

Still, growing up with only himself and his father - who was often scarce, trying to make sure they had money enough to survive - left Eli a very lonely young boy with a tendency to find distractions wherever he could. Usually that meant wandering the village, always getting on well with the other village children, but never connecting enough with them to become proper friends. 

He often found himself wanting to help others in need, becoming frustrated when he couldn’t due to his own poverty-stricken status and his small, thin frame. This frustration came to a head when he was thirteen: Malachi’s best friend, a man named Rakesh who suffered from chronic convulsions, was visiting one day when he fell into a particularly bad fit. Malachi left Eli there with him while he ran to find the village healer. 

While trying to comfort the man, Eli had reached out. When he touched the other’s forehead, he was gripped with a white hot surge, and when it passed, Rakesh had stopped convulsing. He was perfectly fine when Malachi and the doctor returned, and Rakesh never convulsed again. But no matter how hard he tried to replicate it, tried to explain it, Eli could never figure out just how he did what he did - or what exactly he had done in the first place.

After years of wishing he had the power to help, thinking he might have it, and then deciding it had all been a fluke and a coincidence because he couldn’t replicate it, Eli gave up on the dreams of helping others with some god-given power at the age of 16. His father was ailing and he needed to help earn money to survive; it wasn’t something he nor his father was proud of, but he had become adept at magic tricks and illusions, and began making a name for himself as a street magician who did shows for others’ amusement.

Even as an adult, this was the job he took. It didn’t pay well, sometimes, and he took to traveling from town to town to make ends meet, always sending money back to his father; it was the only way he knew how to help, as Malachi was aging and finding it harder and harder to work. 

It’s while traveling in India and putting on his performances that Eli meets Xena and Gabrielle - two women who eventually, through a remarkable chain of circumstances, come to help him realise that he does have powers - he is a Devi, a divine healer who has contact with God. He just hasn’t learnt how to use those powers to the full extent yet. Taken aback, Eli decides to take his leave for a while and mull everything over, trying to come to terms with a fact that he had thought was a dream this entire time.

THE BASICS

full name: eli. in his canon verse, nobody really has surnames; in modern verses/ones where he does have a surname however, his entire name is elisha cyril theodorou - which makes it apparent why he prefers just to go by eli.

aka: eli, the devi

age: it varies verse to verse but in general his age is in the late twenties range!

gender & pronouns: gender doesn’t particularly matter to him, though at the same time he definitely connects to masculine energy - so he/him or they/them are both fine.

orientation: panromantic asexual! which basically means (for him, it varies from asexual to asexual) that he can fall in love with any gender, but doesn’t really have a sex drive. he just likes pleasing his partners in whatever form that takes, but if it does go sexual, he WILL be awkward as hell and people are just gonna have to deal with that.

species: human more or less, though it is up for debate (and differing in other verses)

occupation: street magician, healer

residence: verse-dependent; he travels a lot, and canonically they ran across him in india - i would imagine he often travels up and down from greece to india on a semi regular basis.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

hair: long and oftentimes braided or tied back with some sort of fabric or ribbons; thick and black.

eyes: an expressive, stormy blue-grey.

complexion: lightly tanned from his frequent travels in the outdoors.

build: he was very small and skinny as a child, oftentimes looking sickly, but grew to be quite tall in his later teen years - he’s leaner now, with more muscle on him, but still fairly thin.

scars: most scars he has from his travels; various accidents, such as the time he was bucked off a horse, or the time that he lost his footing climbing a ridge and tumbled down a sheer cliffside. a few scars he has from fights, but he generally prefers to flee rather than fight if given the choice - at first out of fear, but then out of a desire for peace.

tattoos: he has none, though has occasionally had others create temporary art on his body with henna. he enjoys how it looks.

piercings: a variety of ear piercings, with golden hoops being his favourite jewelry to place there.

etc: when he’s truly joyful, he smiles with his whole face - a grin with the teeth showing, dimples in his cheeks, eyebrows raised, eyes dancing. he feels emotions intensely -  whether they be grief or joy or fear - and no matter how hard he tries to hide them, his face is so often an open book, easil and expressing his feelings for all to see.

face claim(s): timothy omundson for most of his verse faceclaims, though i’m still looking for a childhood faceclaim!

PERSONALITY

zodiac: pisces

alignment: somewhere between lawful and neutral good

hogwarts: hufflepuff

positive traits: compassionate, gentle, generous, perceptive

negative traits: anxious, can be a pushover sometimes, insecure, perfectionist.

MEDICAL RECORD

mental: he has anxiety, but other than that, not much else that could be diagnosed.

physical: N/A

phobias: atychiphobia (fear of failure), thanataphobia (fear of death/dying), thalassophobia (fear of deep water).

eyesight: excellent.

drug use: verse-dependent; in most verses, eli tends to stay away from drugs.

alcohol use: again, verse-dependent, but it isn’t frequent - he’s a social drinker, or will have perhaps a glass of wine occasionally.

BACKGROUND

birth place: unknown

ethnicity: greek mostly, i think; mediterranean at any rate.

parents: malachi and sarita

siblings: none, but he considers anyone he grows close to as family, whether that be siblings, children, or otherwise.

pets: he travels too much to provide a home for pets, but has oftentimes helped feed and take care of stray animals - cats, dogs, or otherwise - that ended up following him on his journeys. he loves animals.

education: he didn’t receive a formal education, instead learning trades and skills as he grew from those around him. he was fortunate enough to get book-learning, something many people in his village didn’t receive growing up, thanks to his travels later on in his teen years.

notable skills: magic tricks and illusions he has mastered the art of, which proves to be his greatest skill - it is his main source of income before he turns to the nomadic life. he also has a love for wood carving, often making little figurines that he will sell for money on the side. other skills he has are just those expected of someone in his world - how to farm and hunt if needed to feed himself, how to take care of others as best he can, etc.

languages: this is tricky because of the way the xena: warrior princess canon is set up lol. let’s just say he knows english and depending on verse, can also speak some hebrew, greek, and hindu.

[therealjambery]

Long fics rec post is long

What better way to while away the time than fanfiction? Long fanfiction! And when I say long, I mean long, like so long it is three novels put together, how on earth did you find time to write this, so long it takes even me more than one day to read long. I'm irrationally jealous of all of these writers, as I am the type of writer who has a hard time dashing off 10,000 words in a timely fashion, let alone writing anything longer.

I'm using the SFWA's definition of a novel here, which is anythiing over 40,000 words.

These are all stories I've loved, and most of them I've actually got saved as PDFs so I can re-read them wherever I want. I'm digging pretty deep into the archives for this one, kids, so hold onto your hats.

Fandoms: Avengers/Marvel, Firefly, Inception, Leverage, Merlin, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek AOS, Supernatural, Torchwood

Fandom: Avengers/MCU/Marvel/Whatever we're calling it these days

in deep with you darling by topaz Author's Summary: Darcy could have, under normal circumstances, resisted the aesthetics (however awesome they are, and holy crap are they awesome), but there's an itch under her skin—apparently, nearly dying by giant, fire-breathing robots from space in the middle of Nowhere, New Mexico will start you questioning your life choices. Who knew? Main Pairing: Clint/Darcy Words: 48024

runaways are running the night by anothercover Author's Summary: Clint did like that the photo stayed private. He’s shit at social media, only on it because, you know, he has to be, but even Clint knew it was the kind of candid that was Instagrammable - #queen, #legend, #rawmemama, etcetera, ad nauseam, he’s pretty sure he could predict the comments before anyone actually typed them. (Bucky once said “raw me, mama?” to her with a goddamn straight face and Natasha’s expression of abject horror while she tried to work out if he meant it had made Clint laugh so fucking hard he was certain he’d ripped an organ in half. He still wants to find a way to work that story into his act, because on the one hand, people love it when he talks about his marriage, but it’s hard to find a way into it that doesn’t sound like he’s making fun of their fans, and that’s a big no-go.) AU: Natasha's in a band, Clint is basically John Mulaney, it's great Main Pairing: Clint/Natasha/Bucky Words: 53873

Ready, Fire, Aim 'Verse by gyzym Author's Summary: There's no "I" in "Avenger." Main Pairing: Steve/Tony Words: 63019

Ain't No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) by spitandvinegar Author's Summary: It's six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don't. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It's very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps. Main Pairing: Steve/Bucky Words: 107076

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail series by owlet Author's Summary: The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect Main Pairing: Steve/Bucky Words: 264438

Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club by sara_holmes Author's Summary: Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.)

"When Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, Clint’s first thought is that Tony Stark’s pride and joy is quickly becoming a less of a very tall and expensive ‘fuck you’ in the faces of investors who don’t believe in self-sustaining energy, and more of a superhero rehabilitation center."

Boyfriends, compromises and learning to like oneself. Main Pairing: Clint/Bucky Words: 67059

Nobody Lost, Nobody Found by ClaraxBarton Author's Summary: "Look, dude, I get it. You’re fucked-up. HYDRA fucked you up. I’ve been there. But you’re my fucking Soul Mate!"

“I can kill you. I could kill you without even realizing what I was doing. I’m not fucked-up, I’m a monster. I’m a nightmare. You can’t be here. You can’t- All the people I’ve killed- I will not murder my Soul Mate too. Not after everything else I’ve-”

Clint worked his left hand between their bodies and managed to land a punch to the man’s right side, forcing him to shift his weight, and Clint brought his right hand down on the place where the man’s metal arm met his torso - hidden by the shirt he wore, but on full display in the video Clint had watched.

The man released Clint with a grunt of pain, and Clint pressed his advantage, landing another punch to his abdomen, backing him up against the opposite side of the RV and then pressing the kitchen knife he had pocketed while cleaning up earlier to the man’s throat.

“Like I said, I’m not a Boy Scout. I’m plenty dangerous myself. We clear on that?”

OR:

This looks bad, because it is.

OR:

How Clint Barton met his Soul Mate AU: soulmates! Main Pairing: Clint/Bucky Words: 108331

Ronin!Clint 'verse by shatteredhourglass Author's Summary: “Who the fuck are you and how did you get this line?”

“I have my ways,” the voice says, amused. “Don’t worry, I’m just enjoying the view, Captain America.” Main Pairing: Clint/Bucky Words: 63266

Fandom: Firefly/Supernatural

Weight and Motion by sevenfists [note: the podfic by dodificus is excellent] Author's Summary: The pears were ripe, Kaylee told him, but Mal wouldn't eat any of them. They were a present, nestled all sweet and green in a wooden crate that a grateful passenger gave them right before they left her on Greenleaf. AU: Crossover, Dean ends up on Serenity, just roll with it Main Pairing: Mal/Dean Words: 43117

Fandom: Inception

All the World is Bullet Shaped by pushdragon Author's Summary: If Arthur thinks that, just by waving enough money around, he can get Eames to risk his life and reputation to rescue him from a death sentence, he's got another thing coming. So Eames sets a malicious, undignified price on his services, one he can be certain that a man like Arthur would never condescend to pay. It turns out to be the first of many mistakes. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 76656

I Seem to Be a Verb by Aja Author's Summary: Arthur owns a quirky hipster science bookstore. Eames is a world-famous mega-celebrity.

Clearly this calls for a meet-cute. AU: Notting Hill AU Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 93837

In Medias Res by starlingthefool Author's Summary: What's the most resilient infection? What's more infectious than a cold, deadlier than cholera? What lingers in your blood forever?

Love, of course. Mal has always known that. Her pointman Eames may dismiss her for a romantic, but for better or worse, love has gotten her this far. AU: Mirror-verse Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames, Mal/Dom Words: 52662

The Music Makers by mami_san Author's Summary: A. Graham Cole was twenty-one years old when he was killed in action in Iraq. This is the official story. The truth is, of course, somewhat different. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: I dunno, because it's not on AO3. But my PDF is 451KB so it's over 50k, most likely.

Presque Vu by rageprufrock Author's Summary: Or, "on the tip of the tongue." Arthur meets Mal first. He inherits Dom, after. Everything else is on him. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 69588

Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home) [The DomesticVerse] by gyzym Author's Summary: People you kiss in an airport baggage claim and then don't talk to for thirteen months shouldn't be able to exist, let alone make your chest do the things Arthur's chest is doing. There are rules. Main Pairing: Arthur/Eames Words: 74828

Fandom: Leverage

Psychic AU series by Laughtsalot3412 Author's Summary: He had a sniper rifle scoping the girl’s bright eyes and the guy’s smile. AU: They all have psychic powers Main Pairing: OT3 Eliot/Parker/Alec Words: 89955

Fandom: Merlin

[note: look, I don't even go here. I've never watched the show. But.]

Drastically Redefining Protocol by rageprufrock Author's Summary: In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose. AU: Modern AU Main Pairing: Arthur/Merlin Words: 46,059

The Student Prince by FayJay Author's Summary: A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love... AU: Modern AU Main Pairing: Arthur/Merlin Words: 145222

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves by auburn Author's Summary: Vala Mal Doran and her partners, renegades Jehan abd-Ba'al and Meredith McKay, hijack the Tau'ri ship Prometheus and leave the Milky Way behind in search of the Lost City of the Ancients, Atlantis. AU: Space pirates! Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 180299

The Price That Life Exacts by cathalin Author's Summary:When John disappears without a trace during a routine mission, people in a beleaguered Atlantis eventually have to try to move on. Rodney never completely gives up hope of finding John, and though he soldiers on to help Atlantis, a year later he still lives every day with his grief. Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 63369

Written By the Victors by Spreranza Author's Summary: Caroll, Franklin R. Atlantis Revisited. New York and London, Routledge, 2011. Chapman, Denise. Several Kinds of Genius: The Life of Rodney McKay. NY: Harper Perennial, 2015. Croft, Rosalind. City of Spires: A Memoir. Toronto: The Mercury Press, 2009. Dugan, Paul. A Political History of Atlantis. Oxford: OUP, 2012. Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 52843

Tongues of Men and Angels by Mad_Maudlin Author's Summary: When SG-4 is ambushed offworld, an injured Major John Sheppard must put his trust in a Tok'ra agent named McKay to survive. But what secrets is McKay keeping about his mission, the planet, and his own motives for helping John? AU: They didn't go to Atlantis Main Pairing: John/Rodney Words: 58523

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)

The Least of All Possible Mistakes by rageprufrock Author's Summary: If ever a people deserved tasering, it’s Holmeses. Main Pairing: Lestrade/Mycroft AU: Genderbent Lestrade Words: 118096

Fandom: Supernatural

Red by Big Pink [note: seriously, this is one of my favorite fics/series ever and I have the ebooks if you want to not read this on LJ or FF.net] Author's Summary: Something evil is killing treeplanters in the forests of the Pacific Northwest, possibly the same predator that Dean narrowly escaped years before. How Grimm will things get before the brothers figure it out? Main Pairing: none Words: 81839

Fandom: Supernatural/Stargate Atlantis

And All the World Beneath by seperis Author's Summary: Dean remembers Texas as blackland stretching in marker-thick strips of vivid brown and black, broken with the sprawling metroplexes of Dallas and San Antonio and Houston; farms spread with the yellow tops of maize waving in pre-autumn winds, threshers moving complacently through the fields with drowsy men in hats waving at the road. He remembers green and gold fields dotted with cows, half-year calves running on the outskirts of the herds. He remembers these were what he saw between jobs, lives being lived that had nothing to do with creeping twilight and sleeping only behind salt circles and ritual wards. AU: Cthulhu mythos Main Pairing: Dean/John, John/Rodney Words: 67279

Fandom: Star Trek AOS

Leave No Soul Behind by whochick Author's Summary: If you're Starfleet, you spend your whole life wishing you never see an EPAS uniform right up until the moment they become your only hope. Whether you're dying a slow, cold death in space, or a long painful one on some godforsaken planet, they're going to come for you. So count your last breaths, son, and hold on tight. They leave no soul behind. AU: Spock did not join Starfleet, he joined the Emergency Personnel Ambulance Service (EPAS) Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 258951

The Lotus Eaters by aldora89 Author's Summary: Stranded on the planet Sigma Nox while searching for a missing away team, Spock and Kirk find themselves pitted against a disturbing native life form. With the captain out of commission on a regular basis and Spock struggling to preserve his stoicism, staying alive is difficult enough – but when a slim chance for escape surfaces, their resolve is truly put to the test. Together they must fight for survival in the heart of an alien jungle, and in the process, uncover the mystery of the planet’s past. Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 93594

Only Good for Legends by leupagus Author's Summary: Detective Spock, born on Vulcan and resident of San Francisco, is assigned to the Midwest police bureau. I think everyone can guess what happens next. AU: Spock is a Detective. Otherwise it's pretty much the same, including Kirk's petty criminal tendencies. Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 149640

So Wise We Grow by Deastar Author's Summary: "Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week." AU: kidfic Main Pairing: Kirk/Spock Words: 81248

Switch by Ceres_Libera Author's Summary: The life and times of Leonard H. McCoy MD/PhD … If Leonard McCoy's life could get any fucking weirder, it would be … Jesus, he didn't even want to think what that could possibly mean, because it's already been too fucking weird to make any kind of rational sense. Main Pairing: Kirk/McCoy Words: 230867

Fandom: Torchwood

The Rose of Jericho by kaydeefalls Author's Summary: Post-CoE. When Martha Jones encounters a dark UNIT cover-up in the wake of the 456, it's up to Gwen's new Torchwood team to bring the truth to light -- and save Ianto. AU: alternate ending post Children of Earth Main Pairing: Jack/Ianto Words: 62606

That should keep you busy for a while, right? If you have other long fic recs, let me know in the comments/with a reblog!

[thesunsethour]

Little Les Mis Things ~ 28 Dec 2018

* okay so this is becoming a series

* let’s get started my guys

* DUBLIN EDITON

* KILLIAN DONNELLY BACK AS MY MAIN MAN JEAN VALJEAN!! he was perfect absolutely incredibly prefect. i saw him a year ago in london and then booked again for this summer but he was gone so when i found out he was gonna be in dublin i like ran to get tickets (i explained this all to him at 482994 miles an hour at stage door he was lovely). Killian is the best Valjean i’ve ever seen he hits all the high notes his acting is superb he just embodies everything jean valjean and i will treasure his stint as JVJ for as long as i live

* Katie Hall as Fantine was amazing!!! you really got the sense that fantine wasn’t this ‘can-do-no-wrong angelic woman’ but literally a young girl forced into terrible circumstances which Katie played SO WELL holy fuck. her acting with javert and JVJ was just stellar

* Javert was Nic Greenfields and he. was. INCREDIBLE!!! stars honestly had me in tears what the fuck man it was beautiful and he was like slowly getting more haggard as the musical went on and khlgkfk I LOVED HIM

* Cosette was Bronwen Hanson and she was the smiliest Cosette i’ve ever seen it was so pure you could really see her as just the embodiment of light and hope and her scenes with Marius was A+++

* Speaking of Marius, Mr Henry Apps made his professional debut during this tour and WOW!! astounding. he was awkward but not annoying and love struck but not sickening

* Enjolras!! Will Richardson!!! he had the good ass blond curls for this role GOOD ASS BLOND CURLS!! he was so good and his singing was beautifulllllllllllLll

* Éponine my love was Tegan Bannister and this was a solid af éponine tegan really made this role her own while still being éponine if you get me it was gr88888

* Thénardier was Martin Ball and need i say any more than he stole the goddamn show

* Mme Thénardier was Sophie-Louise Dann and hoooooooly shit was she committed to her accent it was brilliant and she was hilarious

* OK GENERAL THINGS

* there was no revolve like there is in london and so the whole staging was different and it was freaking fantastic

* they included all these little book moments like when valjean steals some money from a kid twas good

* killian donnelly is a fantastic actor and when JVJ is getting rejected by everyone at the start i was nearly on my feet like “STOP BEING MEAN TO HIM!!!”

* jean valjean got beat up so much in this production. someone help him. let him sleep. stop punching my boy

* the foreman really was fuming today and you could really sense the fear he pity in everyone

* fantine also got beat up by the other factory girls leave my girl alone please!!!

* her hair was so beautiful and when they cut it it was so sad

* fantines transformation from ‘virtuous’ to ‘lovely lady’ was never more pronounced then in this and you could see the early stages of her sickness and anger and hooooo boy it was emotional

* you could also see some of the other ladies getting sick and it kinda made out that they also died soon after and that’s so sad oh god

* when that prick who accuses fantine started babbling to Javert fantine had like kill bill sirens going on

* fantine practically attacked JVJ and was like “kinda all your fault bruh” and jvj has his sad puppy dog brooding face of oh no my morality it was dramatic

* javert: jean valjean was captured this morning” JVJ AS MLM: *freeze frame* huh whaaaaa

* who am I? 2!4!6!0! ONEEEEEEEEEE (high note thanks k!!)

* fantines death was so tragic i died too

* whenever a character dies a really bright white light shines on them store that info it’ll become important later

* when jvj met cosette he booped her nose remember that too it’ll become important later on

* master of the house was fucking fantastic best sequence in the whole first act

* thénardier not knowing how to bless himself when his wife says “it’s no more than us christians should do”

* GAVROCHE!!! my little man!!!!! LEGAND our little narrator

* montparnasse didnt have his hat babet did and i was sad

* however, montparnasse was fabulous and his acting choices (by leo miles) were superb and really book accurate he was always real sneaky and sly with perfect posture

* when cosette and marius met cosette dissolved into giggles and it really served to humanise that meet moment

* G R A N T A I R E ( ruben van keer) was the best grantaire i’ve ever seen. he was constantly drunk and drinking and hanging off people and you could see he reallyyyyyy annoyed enjolras BUT R and gavroche had the sweetest relationship (remember that, it’ll be important later)

* gavroche, standing on table: “lemarque is dead”

* enjolras, lifting him down: “lemarque is dead. hmmm. that’s sa- LETS USE HIS FUNERAL FOR OUR POLITICAL MOTIVES”

* all the amis were like “seems kinda soon? idk” but E was just so inspiring that they were like “hell yeah” after two seconds

* cosette was on her balcony and marius was below it ala romeo and juliet and when cosette rushed back into her house to come downstairs marius flung himself against the wall “IM DOING EVERYTHING ALL WRONG” lol drama queen

* attack on rue plumet- CHECK

* during on my own the entire audience seemed to have caught a coughing bug and were hacking up their lungs like SHH

* after on my own éponine walked upstage and the barricade like filled in behind her it was class

* éponine screamed in pain during a little fall of rain and honestly? i died it was so sad

* grantaire hugged gavroche so tightly after éponine died and kissed his head it was so gentle wooeowoowow i stan older/younger brother dynamics

* OKAY SO AFTER GRANTAIRES VERSE IN DRINK WITH ENJOLRAS RAN DOWN FROM THE BARRICADE AND THEN DIDNT HUG HIM AND I WAS LIKE HMMMMMM OK WHAT BUT THEN AS R STUMBLED AWAY EVERYONE IGNORED HIM AND HE COLLAPSED IN A CORNER BUT GAVROCHE RAN OVER AND HUGGED HIM AND FELL ASLEEP ON HIS LEGS CURLED UP IM N O T O K A Y

* bring him home murdered me

* it was so beautiful

* everyone listen to killian donnelly sing bring him home

* he got a solid 2 minute long applause it seemed like the applause would never stop

* since they didn’t have a revolve stage when gavroche went round to pick the ammunition you could hear him singing but couldn’t see him and when the first shot rang out all the barricade boys like jumped but then he started singing and climbing again and made it all the way to the top of the barricade before being shot, bathed in white light and collapsing into enjolras’ arms

* it was SO SAD

* enjolras passed him to grantaire who SOBBED

* and so instead of enjolras and grantaire hugging in drink with me they made had like a solemn moment of understanding over gavroches body and they both looked to traumatised and fuck

* fuck

* then as all the amis died on various parts of the barricade white light was shining in every direction and grantaire was the last to die

* when JVJ was dragging marius into the sewer he was just muttering little reassurances to marius like “come on now good boy there we go not long left come on please” and boy did that shit hurt

* enjolras was upside down in a wagon cause there was no revolve and javert piled gavroches body on top of him

* when thénardier woke JVJ up thénardier nearly karate chopped him it was hilarious

* turning fucked me up they all brought candles on stage and there was this little child there and oh fuck it was so sad

* BUT THEN

* during empty chairs marius walked into a stage filled with candles and picked up éponines one and all the amis filed on and picked up their candle and walked off as he sang and at the very end marius blew out éponines candle and raised the jar it was in like a final toast to his friends what tje fuck that’s sad

* during the wedding the thénardiers were so funny and all the wedding guests copied their ridiculous dance moves

* WHEN JVJ WAS DYING I WAS DYING HE LOOKED SO FRAIL AND OLD AND HE BOOPED COSETTES NOSE AS HE WAS DYING LHLKHKKHKHKG

* fuck off bye i’m broken that was so goddamn good

[shellheadtmarc]

actually, because i really need to finish my new theme and need new verse blurbs, here’s a more in depth look at my current/in-use verses, with links to full writeups as available.

mcu:  this is boilerplate.  i’m a canon tony, this is a canon verse.  follows the events from iron man through infinity war for the moment, including the tie-in comics iron man 2: public identity, iron man 2: agents of shield, iron man: the coming of the melter, iron man 3 prelude, marvel’s avengers: age of ultron prelude - the scepter’d isle, marvel’s captain america: civil war prelude infinite, marvel’s avengers: infinity war prelude, and marvel’s avengers: endgame prelude.  also includes the post-iron man 3 short about the mandarin.  everything not covered/discussed in mcu canon is plugged with 616 continuity canon.

616:  what it says on the tin.  covers most of the runs from about 2008-present, including the new tony stark: iron man, against my greater judgment, though that may change in the future if it keeps tanking in story. in reality, this actually covers everything post-heroes reborn, but to make it simple we’ll say it’s wibbly wobbly because comics.  also includes heavy snippets still in play from classic invincible iron man.

classic:  from his first appearances in tales of suspense up to the inception of heroes reborn.  or, if you prefer, original flavor tony stark, the cool suave businessman with the aloof nature, party boy ways, and injured heart, reliant on his rechargeable chest piece, as he also has a double identity as the golden avenger known as iron man.  poses as his own bodyguard.  jetsetter.  people love or hate him, but most want to be him.  if only they knew how much his bum ticker isolated him.  a ton of fridged girlfriends.  later physical ailments include:  paralysis from the waist down.  degenerative nervous system.  a cranky ticker more than you can shake a stick at.  literally dying and being cryogenically frozen.

616 meets mcu:  this covers any time comicverse tony is thrown at mcu versions of the people he knows.  things to note include being taller.  he has blue eyes.  his tech is more advanced.  his speech patterns differ heavily.  recovering alcoholic, coffee is fine no matter how shitty it is.  he has more years as a superhero under his belt at this point.  his fears and points of stress differ from mcu tony’s quite a bit, and his reactions are different.  he and pepper are barely on speaking terms (generously speaking). he’s different, and it’s obvious he’s different.

broke:  mcu-based verse that includes corporate espionage and tony stark having to keep his head down and learning to live under the table paycheck to under the table paycheck until he can muster what he needs to make a frontal assault on regaining what’s rightly his.  a verse where tony’s at his absolute lowest, still determined to retain the phoenix metaphor and rise from the ashes of the misfortune thrust upon him.

superior iron man:  hiding the fact that he’s still under the scarlet witch’s inversion spell, tony goes full tilt diva, his main concerns being money, power, and fame.  he starts drinking again.  he makes san francisco his own personal big brother state, where he watches the city like a hawk by day while shilling extremis as a beauty enhancer, and parties like it’s 1999 at his new home on alcatraz island by night.  is still iron man, as long as there’s something in it for him.  will partially be at fault for the destruction of the 616 universe (it gets better).

hypervelocity:  tony’s attacked in his own lab by the mind-emulationware mechs known as “beautiful garbage”, and his newest iteration of the iron man suit forced an upload or a copy of his brain patterns to get him out of there.  the wetware is damaged, and the suit dumps it before it bleeds out in the suit cavity, and thus that suit, with the ability to walk, talk, and think exactly like tony stark (albeit full of bugs) is born, to unravel the mystery of the attack and attempt to stop the emulation program that caused it.

ai:  after being punched into a literal coma during a battle with captain marvel/carol danvers over the fate of miles morales and concerning an inhuman by the name of odysseus’s increasingly violent visions of the future, and with even hank mccoy being afraid to even draw blood on tony after seeing what tony’s been doing to himself over the years, tony’s ai comes online, as a mentor to riri williams/ironheart and to help against the clone captain america with those of the mount.  he’s twice as sassy with quadruple the processing speed, and he’s got some weird feelings about being the recreated consciousness of a living person suddenly finding itself with no physical body.

noir:  a businessman who likes to play adventurer for a men’s magazine, along with his best friend james rhodes and their new reporter pepper potts, writing under a male pseudonym, tony stark on the surface has it all in the late 1930s.  beautiful women, exciting adventures, and loads of money.  but all it does is hide his desperate search for a cure for his dying heart, as he’s forced to wear a metal chest piece that has to be charged frequently to even keep himself alive.  

director of shield:  mcu-based version of tony’s time as the director of shield.  after everything that occurs after captain america: the winter soldier, and the fall of shield, an attempt is made to resurrect it with tony stark at the helm as fury’s replacement (hand-picked).  he stresses transparency, he stresses equality, and most of all, he just wants to find a way to balance being iron man with having to deal with the day-to-day bullshit of international bureaucracy.

sorcerer supreme:  based on the 90s “what if?” one shot comic.  tony was the cause of the accident that injured stephen strange’s hands, and, feeling supremely guilty about the entire thing, searches for ways to give stephen his dexterity and life back.  it leads him to becoming the sorcerer supreme, despite that inherent dislike of magic he has, and he combines the iron man technology with the mystical forces he gains a hold over in that quest for a cure.

guardians of the galaxy:  mcu flavor for tony’s time as an active gotg.  after civil war, on a break with pepper, and feeling about as great about things as someone laying facedown in a gutter possibly can, tony puts his mobile armory into space, tinkers together a suit for deep space exploration, and takes off, losing himself for a while among the stars.  threat is going to come from there, sure, but there’s going to be opportunity, as well.  it’s a useful thing to find out who’s friend, and who’s foe, and see what there is to see in the black expanses of space.

supernatural:  the other family business.  being a founder of shield and everything he took to his grave wasn’t the only secret he was keeping, and this was one maria was in on as well.  too bad tony doesn’t stumble across it until after he’s already become iron man, where saving the world is so tied into his moral code he can’t look away.  if he goes missing for a few days, it’s fine, it’s chill.  he’s just taking a breather, not poking around at things he only still half-believes in even when he’s seen them with his own two eyes.  the biggest skeptic hunter you’ll ever meet.

fallout prewar:  mcu continuity up to the beginning of iron man 3, against fallout’s prewar as a backdrop.  tony stark is who he is, he does what he does, but he also is someone certain government agencies would love to tear down, because he’s a rabble rouser against the war, and has no problem hogging the iron man technology for himself instead of sharing with the military.  he also has no problem sharing the dirty secrets he finds out with the press.  full write up can be found here.

fallout new vegas:  tony as the infamous courier six.  left in stasis in a vault in california, tony comes to years and years after the devastation of the bombs to a world vastly changed from the one he remembers, and in a vault full of ghouls.  once topside, and once reoriented into the world, he ends up something of a jack of all trades until he takes that fateful job with the mojave express, and gets two to the head for his trouble.  independent path with the yes-man aligned ending, details of choices and all dlcs available as needed until i get off my ass and do a full replaythrough and write up.  keeps the spine from big mt, but his heart and brain are back where they belong.  locked elijah in the vault.  nuke launch stopped (ed-e repaired after).  evacuated the sorrows.  

fallout 4 sole survivor:  still needs a full write up, but tony as the sole survivor.  does not take the shock at the change in the world well at first.  eventually pulls his shit together enough to get shit done, but can’t touch a suit, can’t think about the suit, will take some time to even toy with the idea of possibly touching a suit again before he actually can.  minutemen and railroad aligned, destroys the bos and institute.  peaceful ending with all far harbor factions.  spares the mechanist.  destroys the raiders at nuka world and turns the parks over to the minutemen.  question information as needed until i get a full write up done.

fallout 4 companion:  tony’s been in new york since the bombs dropped.  there are huge chunks of it that are still uninhabitable, much like boston’s glowing sea, but the parts that are?  he’s started on a grand rebuilding project, because he’s got nothing but time:  the arc reactor’s kept his heart pumping well past its expiration date.  when the bos slow rolls past new york, he follows them into boston, mostly because he’s paranoid and cagey (with good reason in the wasteland) and partially out of curiosity.  available as a companion for sole survivors, some restrictions apply, please see this write up for more details.

fallout 76 dweller:  locked up with a bunch of other big brains after the bombs, tony’s that guy.  you know.  the one you read about in the terminal.  the one that kept hacking things.  once topside again, he sheds that vault tec blue and yellow as quickly as he can and sees about setting things right.  a member of the responders.  a mole in [redacted].  fire breather.  rebuilding the world has to start somewhere, so it might as well be west virginia.

dwemer:  the last surviving dwemer, finally peeking his head out of his lab in its pocket plane of oblivion to find the nords are at it again, dragons are still doing their thing, his people have just flat out vanished, and that skyrim is still cold as balls.  often gets mistaken as a very tall bosmer.  still calls the dunmer the chimer out of sheer smartassedness.  swung on rolf in windhelm and ends up in jail more times than you can shake a stick at.

single parent au:  handed off a baby under some shady as hell circumstances, unable to find out anything and secretly glad he can’t find out anything about her in the end, tony pulls some strings and sophie stark ends up hitting the jackpot as far as adoptive parents go.  tony had thought just being iron man was hard, but now he’s balancing ballet practice and pta meetings with saving the world.

[prgenitor]

@novus-ordo-seclorem asked: "Well, well. The boy lives." Cue a disingenuous smile from the man he would call father.

and there he is.

jake's on edge, arms folded defensively, shoulders square with false bravado. the smile wesker wears feels off, and jake finds his eyes narrowing in response. he can pretend like it's nothing. like seeing the man behind the name means nothing, but it fuels a swirling of emotion inside of him, so much that tastes like anger. the stories have made him a legend ( and for jake, he's a mystery that, despite his absence, still played a role in his life ).

❝ yeah? it's a talent of mine, ❞ he retorts. more than luck has kept him alive, but he finds it ironic coming from him. hell, maybe he shouldn't. clearly he got his penchant for surviving from somewhere. ❝ last i heard, you've got nine lives yourself. ❞

there's nothing casual in seeing him. and yet he desperately tries to cling to playing pretend.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

@swampwitched You ask, you receive.

Okay, for this verse (because I know my friends here and they will end up somehow sparking something) MC and Grace are half- native Hawaiian through their father. They named their kids Mano and Grace to show both sides of this.

Grace is much younger than in game and was the one to find Stitch but the canon events of the movie are the same… so Grace is pretty much Lilo.

-

She misses the island. She misses the air, the sea, the sky, she misses it all.

She misses the people, the food, the casual use of language, the stories from the older generation. She misses Jumba and Pleakley.

Mano Conner sighs as she stands on the porch of her grandmother’s house. Choosing to leave had been the hardest thing for her. But in the end… was it really a choice?

Bills were piling up, the mortgage was high, everything was just awful. Her grandmother’s death- as awful as it sounded- came at the perfect time. She now had a fully paid for house, money and the chance to sell her old home to settle the mortgage.

She could have sold the house, but the old bat had never liked that her daughter married a Hawaiian man and had put clauses in her will to force her grandchildren to leave the islands. They had to stay until Grace was eighteen. Then they could sell the house and go back home, to Kaua’i.

Jumba and Pleakley stayed on the island, to make a home for them, though she told them they didn’t have to. They didn’t listen though. Which was… nice.

Grace had hated leaving them behind but MC had told her baby sister that it was okay. They weren’t leaving them behind, they were making a home to return to.

They weren’t leaving their Ohana.

MC sighs, breathing in dry air that made her want to gag.

This wouldn’t last long. Grace was ten, eight years would fly by. And with Stitch, they could have a happy home. She was lucky Cobra Bubbles had transferred to stay with them, Stitch was weird and would raise way to many questions- though most people would just look the other way on Kaua’i.

It would be okay- what could possibly happen?

-

Mackenzie Hunt wasn’t sure what to make of the newcomers in town. The Conner family was made up of an older sister and a younger one who had to move into their grandmother’s home because of her will. The old woman had been very proud of her will and had bragged about it to everyone.

Meaning that Mac already was sympathetic to the kids, being forced to move so far away just because their grandmother was an old bat. A fair few others in town thought similar to the grandmother, but others thought like Mac, so the girls wouldn’t be totally isolated.

But… their dog…

“What kind of breed is he?” Mac asks, staring at the bipedal blue thing that followed Grace around. Mano blinks, her eyes wide behind her glasses as she tilts her head a little.

“Oh! I don’t know. Ummmm, probably a mutt? I mean we got him from the pound and the lady said he got ran over. We’re not sure if that impacted his looks…”

Mac blinks at her then looks to the… ‘dog’ who drops to all fours and barks.

Okay… so either the girl is an idiot, has no idea what supernatural laws are, or the dog somehow messes with human perceptions because no one else seemed to notice.

“…Well, he looks like a nice dog but we do have a bylaw asking to keep dogs on a leash while on main street.” Mano’s eyes widen even further and she nods quickly.

“Of course! I’m so sorry Sheriff, I didn’t know.” Mac nods and walks away from the new people, not hearing the beginning of a hissed conversation.

“You’re wearing a leash.”

“Ni.”

“Don’t care, you are. I am not getting in trouble with the Sheriff.”

“Can I pick it out?”

“NI!”

“No.”

-

“Your dog is weird,” JD tells MC who hums, cleaning the bowling balls. Stitch, the blue walking and TALKING dog is busy with cleaning under the tables, Grace chattering away as she worked on homework at the bar where Razi was watching.

“He’s a good dog though.”

“He’s cleaning under the tables.”

“Stitch! Don’t eat food off the floor, you don’t know how long it’s been there.” MC calls out, not even paying attention as her DOG MOPS THE FLOOR WITH A MOP.

“…He’s blue.”

“Unusual shade but the lady at the pound said someone might have dyed him,” MC replies. “Hasn’t washed out yet which is weird but… eh.”

“…Okay then.” JD tells her, turning around and heading to Razi who only raises an eyebrow. They just scowl.

Okay, so the dog had a pretty nice cloaking effect, whatever.

-

Stitch did not like the doctor, even if MC couldn’t tell what Stitch felt was off about him. She never was good at deciphering his words.

“Meesha… nee… errrr….” He would growl when asked. Grace had no idea and was wary of him as a result, though MC thought both of them were overreacting.

“Sorry, they’re just afraid of doctors.” She assured Diego after he was nearly bitten by Stitch. “They’ll be well behaved, promise!”

“Of course…” Diego trails off, staring at Stitch who glares back.

God stitch, what the hell?

-

Razi smiles at MC who grins right back. Grace is chattering away to JD like normal on a stool, working on homework while JD works… or leans. Either or.

Stitch often is found helping MC when Grace is at school and everyone is used to seeing the ‘dog’ though some say it isn’t very professional but MC told a huge story about a near kidnapping and how Grace used to worry so much but with Stitch, she felt safer leaving MC alone. And today it’s not different, the dog lining up pins.

Sometimes, he wonders how good the dog’s illusions are.

“Thanks again Razi,” MC says as she reaches up to push some hair out of her face. “I really appreciate you’re help with everything.”

“No problem at all,” Razi says, shrugging. MC giggles and smiles softly at him. She’s so beautiful, Razi thinks. His small crush had been developing since she moved to Havenfall and he saw how much she cared for her sister, how much she worked and how fully she loved her sister.

It was an amazing trait.

The two stood there, smiling at one another.

“Just a hunk-a, hunk-a burning love-“ the jukebox sang and MC jumped as did Razi, both turned to see Stitch near it, scowling as Grace hisses.

“Didn’t work.”

“Stitch, don’t bump the jukebox!” MC calls out, looking confused. “I thought you had to put money in…”

“Uh… I guess something went wrong.” Razi says awkwardly as Stitch crosses his arms, scowling.

What the hell?

-

MC scowls at Jonas as Razi holds her back, his outfit kind of distracting, but MC was more focused on the asshole. Who. Took. Her. Sister.

She bares her teeth and glares at Jonas.

“You messed with the wrong family,” MC snarls. “Stitch! SIC HIM!”

Out of the underbrush, Stitch flies out, six arms and a snarl on his face as he lands on Jonas’s head.

Jonas screamed as Stitch yanked and clawed, MC grinning all the while.

“…What the hell…” Razi says in a half-choked tone.

“Stitch is an alien fugitive who Grace somehow made her best friend and now we’re in charge of rehabilitation.”

“…YOU KNEW HE WASN’T A NORMAL DOG?”

“He’s blue and walks and talks! I’m surprised no one called me on it!”

Razi just groans.

MC turns back to the show with a smirk. This was fun.

 And maybe she would learn exactly what Razi was...

[little-jester-adventures]

1OO IMPORTANT CHARACTER QUESTIONS

(( I really wanted to do this meme for a long time now ! But I kinda struggled with which verse I would do for Elisa. But since it’s tumblr, I’ll do it with the more Borderlands-tumblr verse I have for her right now. If you guys want to see this meme with Elisa her main/canon backstory. Feel free to tell me :) ))

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?  “My name is Elisa de Graaf.”

Where and when were you born?  “I was born on Earth. Haha no, I was born in the Netherlands on the 13th of February 1994.”

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)  “Uhm...That’s a weird situation...I have my own parents, David and Selina de Graaf. My dad and I share the same powers and he is a magician who preforms shows around the world. My mom has telepathic powers, just like my brother. She works as promoter for my dad. So they can be together as often as possible ! They are kind, funny and very supportive. But uhmm..Now the weird part...Since I kinda live on Pandora now, I got a set of new parents. Handsome Jack and Nisha the sheriff of Lynchwood...Yea...I call them my murder parents, because, well...You know...”

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? “I have ! My brother Liam de Graaf, he’s a couple years older then me and share the same powers as my mom. He is very protective and funny. I miss him...But I have nothing to fear. I got my Pandoran brother now, August ! August is such an amazing guy. He takes care of me, he’s kinda, funny, charming and makes me feel at home again.”

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. “Right now I live in a couple of places. I have a place on Helios, in Lynchwood, in Hallow Point and with Rhys is the Atlas facility.”

What is your occupation? “I work in the Purple Skag as a waitress.”

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. “Uhmm...I’m 5′8 feet tall. I have long brown hair with a little streak always on my face. I also paint a little star on my cheek because I’m took scared to get a tattoo on my face. This doesn’t mean I don’t have any tattoos. I have a bunch of tattoos on my hips and back and with a little help of my silly magic, I made them fade and appear on random parts of my back. Oh ! And I don’t weight a lot...whoops.”

To which social class do you belong? “Here on Pandora ? I think a pretty high one...Since I have ben adopted by Handsome Jack and Nisha.”

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?  “I’m not very strong...”

Are you right- or left-handed? “I am right handed.”

What does your voice sound like? “Uhm...Pretty high pichted, maybe a bit annoying...It’s not high pichted like a 4 year old...But well...You know.”

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? “Oh my goodness. Oh jeez. IT HAPPENED ONCE !”

What do you have in your pockets? “Uhm...empty candy wraps...I ate a few a couple of minutes ago hahaha.”

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? “I giggle a lot and very quick, I trust people waaaay to quickly, I also turn really REALLY red very often. Oh...And when I get drunk...I start to float because I can’t controle my powers very well when I’m drunk.”

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general? “Very good ! I had a great childhood.”

What is your earliest memory? “Uhmm...My earliest memory is about my brother and I sharing ice cream. I was covered in it tho hahaha.”

How much schooling have you had? “I went Highschool and College.”

Did you enjoy school? “Highschool was a bit meh, because you know how teenagers are...I was the weirdest girl in school with strange powers...So yea, I got bullied a bit.”

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? “From my father and from my friends.”

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. “My role model were my parents, yea I know it’s super cheesy. But they were good people, they were kind and showed me that there is good in the world that we need to protect.”

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? “I wanted to be a nurse.”

As a child, what were your favorite activities? “Playing piano and later violin.”

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? “Cheeky, adventures, curious, kind and a little trouble maker. All I wanted to do was go on adventures and be a superhero.”

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? “Yea I was, because I was able to show my friends some little tricks I learned. My friends were kids who lived nearby and from school.”

When and with whom was your first kiss? “M-My first kiss ? Oh...Oh goodness. That was back in highschool. I was...15 ? With my first boyfriend at the time...Who...Well kinda dumped me a couple months later because ugh never mind.”

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? “Believe it or not, but I’m not a virgin. I lost mine at the end of highschool when I was 18 with my second boyfriend who was very sweet and kind back then.”

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. “I was born with my powers. Just like my parents, I didn’t have to do any scary things to get my powers. Thank god for that !”

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? “I have a few...But I think...The moment I made a big mistake by trying out new magic and ended up here on Pandora...”

Who has had the most influence on you? “My friends and family.”

What do you consider your greatest achievement? “My greatest ? Was joining my superhero team back home and helped a lot of people across the world.”

What is your greatest regret? “Not staying in contact with them...When we split up...”

What is the most evil thing you have ever done? “Now see...I don’t like doing evil things to people...”

Do you have a criminal record of any kind? “Nope ! And I would like to keep it that way...”

When was the time you were the most frightened? “The first few hours on Pandora. I had no diea where I was, if there were people on the planet, what kind of dangers I would come across...The whole being on Pandora thing was very frightening.”

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? “I uhmm...W-Well I...I kinda kissed Jack when I was really drunk...IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING WHEN I FOUND OUT WHAT I DID !”

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? “Stay in contacted with my old superhero buddies...”

What is your best memory? “Creating our superhero team and living with my new family.”

What is your worst memory? “Losing them...”

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? “I am very optimistic !”

What is your greatest fear? “Dying alone...”

What are your religious views? “Uhm...Not really....I believe there is something out there watching over us, but I don’t know what it is...”

What are your political views? “Uhm...skip !”

What are your views on sex? “It’s nice.”

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? “I-I don’t like killing people. I only did it...Twice...Because we had no choice. I believe that everything can be solved by talking or helping someone...Killing is never the answer...Sadly that’s not how it works here on Pandora.”

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? “Killing someones family...Those are the people who you are bounded with for live...And then you take that bond away from someone...It’s the most horrible thing.”

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? “I do ! Ofcourse I do ! True love is always out there and everyone will find it.”

What do you believe makes a successful life?  “A successful life ? Oh that’s a difficult question. I think for me it would be to be happy with my partner, not have to worry about money and raise a family.”

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? “I...I hide a lot...That’s all I want to say about it.”

Do you have any biases or prejudices? “I try not to have any...But sometimes I do...Sorry...”

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? “I will not kill people...”

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? “My friends and family.”

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? “I treat people how I want others to treat me. Politely, with kindness and I’m always willing to listen to everyone. Sure it changes a bit when I get to know the person better, I get a bit more bold. But I always stay kind towards everyone.”

Who is the most important person in your life, and why? “Right now ? Rhys. Right behind Rhys on my list are August, Nisha and Jack. But Rhys is the most right because...Well he’s my boyfriend.”

Who is the person you respect the most, and why? “The most respect ? Hmmm....I have to say August and Jack. Because they both made a name for themself...Sure in...very different approaches...But that’s not what I want to focus on.”

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. “My friends. Well you have Rhys, who is my boyfriend. Nisha, who took me in when I had no place to go and she quickly became my best friend ! August, who is my Pandoran brother ! Handsome Jack, sure our relationship is kinda weird...But I see him as a friend. And Pari, she’s such an awesome friend, I love her. And there are a lot more, but we’re not that close yet...”

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. “My  significant other is Rhys. He’s funny, kind, a bit sassy and works really hard. I love him.”

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. “Hmmm...Like I stated a couple of times...I have boyfriend ! So yea I have been in love. It was a very warm and fuzzy and felt great.”

What do you look for in a potential lover? “A man who loves me for who I am, even with my strange powers. Who is taller then me and loves cuddling. Oh and who’s older then me is always great.”

How close are you to your family? “I am very close with both my families, the one back home and the one here on Pandora. Sure I could get a bit closer with Jack...But we can work on that.”

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? “Why not ? Uhm...I’m 24...I’m a bit too young.”

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? “That depends on the situation...But I think I would go to Nisha first. She’s the one person who has known me the longest...But she has told me that’s not very good with emotions...”

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? “I do. I trust August, because he sees me as his little sister and has already protected me a couple of times. I trust Nisha, for the same reason. And I trust Rhys ofcourse.”

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? “I hope my Pandoran friends and family would miss me...”

Who is the person you despise the most, and why? “I don’t really despise anyone...”

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? “I mostly try to avoid conflict...”

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? “I do, I love interacting with people !”

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? “I do ! Because it’s fun to meet a lot of people and hear their awesome stories.”

Do you care what others think of you? “I do...But I shouldn’t...But it’s hard to not think about it over and over again. I want people to see me as kind and caring...“

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? “I love watching movies with Rhys, Dancing and singing in the Purple Skag with August and my shooting practice with Nisha.”

What is your most treasured possession? “A picture of my family back home I always have stored in my tophat...”

What is your favorite color? “Red, yellow and purple.”

What is your favorite food? “Anything that is sweet hahaha.”

What, if anything, do you like to read? “I like to read history books and books about magic.”

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? “Music you can dance to, I want to have a great time and lose myself in it. Same goes for movies !”

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? “I do drink, I like cocktails oke haha. But I’m a lightweight.”

How do you spend a typical Saturday night? “Cleaning the bar with August, talking about our day and have a good laugh when bar is closed.”

What makes you laugh? “Rhys making silly jokes. Nisha talking about Violet and Jack. Oh ! oh ! oh ! And when August does impressions of people we know !”

What, if anything, shocks or offends you? “People not taking me serious...”

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? “Play with magic, talk to my bunny or...read or something.”

How do you deal with stress? “Uhm...I try to take a long warm bath and try to listen to some nice music.”

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? “I am pretty spontaneous. Sure a plan is nice...But most of the time I don’t have one.”

What are your pet peeves? “People bringing up things I did in the past I feel embarrassed about.”

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? “My routine ? Oh it’s not that special. I get up in the morning, get dressed and check what I have to do one that day...It’s a oke routine, nothing too special.”

What is your greatest strength as a person? “Mine ? Uhmm...I think my kindness ? I don’t know...I don’t think I really have any strengths.”

What is your greatest weakness? “My naivety...”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “I want to be stronger...I don’t want to feel weak like I feel right now...”

Are you generally introverted or extroverted? “I am very extroverted !”

Are you generally organized or messy? “I’m pretty organized.”

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. “Things I’m good at ? Uhm...Listening to people, making people smile and taking care of my friends. Things I’m bad at, Learning to not trust every person I meet, magic and defending myself.”

Do you like yourself? “Uhm...I...I’m not sure to be honest...”

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…) “I do these things to be a hero. I want to help people, that’s my biggest goal in life.”

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? “I want to be able to control all of my powers.”

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? “In 5 years I hope I’ll have figured out how to use my powers to switch between Pandora and Earth so I can always visit all my friends and families.”

If you could choose, how would you want to die? “Defending a friend or family member.”

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. “Say goodbye to Jack and Nisha. and give Nisha my tophat because she likes it so much. Stay a few hours with August to calm him down and tell him everything is going to be oke, leave Apollo with him to take care off...And my last hours I’ll spend with Rhys...”

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? “My kindess...”

What three words best describe your personality? “Kind, silly and a bit of handfull.”

What three words would others probably use to describe you? “Bubbly, cheery and naive.”

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…) “You are a great person...I don’t be so hard on yourself and take the compliment you get. Don’t stress yourself out, you are doing great...”

[surviiived]

Kira Black

=BASIC INFO= FULL NAME: Kira Black NICKNAME(S)/ALIAS(ES): The Sorceress, witch, hunter PRONUNCIATION(S): Kee-rah AGE: Looks to be 24, is actually over 200 years old GENDER: Female SPECIES: Human (formerly), spirit (currently) BIRTH DATE: November 3rd SEXUALITY: Bisexual (leans more towards man) =PERSONALITY= PERSONALITY: cold, distant, quiet, serious, vengeful, harsh. If one manages to get close to her and have her warm up to them, she’s much softer and very gentle and caring.  EMBODYING QUALITY/IDEA: A wrathful spirit who uses her magic to bring pain to her enemies LIKES: Magic, reading, quiet places, animals, music, good people DISLIKES: Being called a “witch”, rude people, betrayal, most humans, loud people, being interrupted when alone FEARS: Caring for someone again only to have them betray her once more. WEAKNESSES: She’s too untrusting. It takes a long time for anyone to gain her trust. To everyone else, she’s cold and serious without actually meaning to be rude—she just comes off that way.  STRENGTHS: Once she trusts you, she will do whatever it takes to help you and keep you safe. SPECIAL/SIGNIFICANT BELONGINGS: Her spell book =PHYSICAL AND HEALTH INFO= HEIGHT: 5′6″ (shorter than some survivors, levitates in matches to seem taller) WEIGHT: 96 pounds BODY TYPE: Small and petite with a slight hourglass figure. Very skinny from malnutrition when alive. JEWELRY: Earrings PIERCINGS/TATTOOS: Earrings SCARS/DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Scars on her back from abuse as a child, glowing eyes that create a magical mist =RELATIONSHIP INFO= RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Verse dependent PARENTS: unknown SIBLING(S): n/a – BEST FRIEND(S): verse dependent FRIENDS: n/a ACQUAINTANCES: all hunters ASSISTANTS: n/a GUARDS: n/a ALLIES: hunters PETS/SPECIAL ANIMALS: verse dependent  – ENEMIES: survivors, people in general MAIN ENEMY(IES): the living MOST HATED: the living =STORY INFO= STATUS: deceased BACKSTORY: Kira was born in 1613 in London, her parents being unknown as she was left on the doorstep of a childless couple. In contrast to what her parents believed when they left her on the doorstep of these people, they did not want a child and instead abused and tormented her. It wasn’t until she was 12 when she finally snapped and killed her “adoptive parents”. However, she killed them with a burst of magic. Kira, of course, didn’t know she had powers, and didn’t know her parents so she couldn’t tell if she inherited them or not. Word got out of a child who used witchcraft to murder her parents, and before Kira knew it, she was being hunted. The young girl took refuge in the woods outside of London where she found a book that was calling to her—a book of spells written by her mother as a gift. Kira treasured this gift and used it to grow stronger in the safety of the forest, and she even began to create her own spells and write them down. She spent eleven years in the woods, away from any form of civilization, until a thief came in seeking refuge. He met Kira and she fell in love with him, with how he stole her heart and brought her beautiful things from the outside world.  One day, the thief got terribly injured. In order to save his life, Kira exposed herself as magic to him by healing him. She believed her secret was safe with her beloved... but when he was caught stealing in town and nearly executed, he was quick to tell the officials that he knew where a witch was hiding and would tell them where if they let him go.  He led them to Kira’s little part of the forest where they captured her. She was unable to escape this time and was instead sentenced to a witch trial to be sure she was or wasn’t a witch. So, they bound her arms and legs and threw her into a lake to see if she would save herself.  Kira died from drowning in that lake, but the moment her life left her body, her magic and burning desire for revenge broke free and destroyed the little town as well as killed everyone within.  Now, she refuses to be hunted ever again. She’s the hunter now.  – PLACE OF BIRTH: London PAST LIVING QUARTERS: London, forest CURRENT AND FUTURE HOMES: Oletus Manor – NATIVE LANGUAGE(S): English LANGUAGES SPOKEN: English, Latin =TALENTS/OCCUPATION/EDUCATION= OCCUPATION/JOB: N/A BOSS: N/A TALENTS: Magic, alchemy, enjoys singing YEARS OF EDUCATION: No formal education  LEVEL OF EDUCATION: N/A =GAMEPLAY= WEAPON/ITEM: Kira carries her spell book wherever she goes. From there she can use her magic to create slashes to injure survivors.  EXTERNAL TRAIT:  Porcelain Doll: With the appearance of a doll, Kira’s appearance isn’t as frightening as the other hunters. This means her fear radius is far smaller than most hunters. ABILITY:   Blink: Creating panic and fear requires but a flash. Tap to blink in the direction the camera is facing. Drag to blink in a different direction.  Spell Book (0): With her spell book, Kira can send off a burst of magic that will chase the survivor she is pursuing until it hits either them or an obstacle. It takes time for her to recover from using so much magic in one attack, however. Levitate (1000): Kira grows stronger as the battle continues, and thus can levitate high above the ground to get a bird’s eye view of the area around her.  Reform (2500): Kira can send off a spell and use it to teleport to that location. She can reach anywhere on the map and reform there. PERSONA: Detention & Insolence =VERSES= ~ᶜᵃⁿ ᵃⁿʸᵇᵒᵈʸ ʰᵉᵃʳ ᵐᵉˀ ᵃᵐ ᶦ ᵗᵃˡᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠˀ~ |Survivor Verse|:  Alias: The Witch Past: Kira had always been shunned and unwanted, ever since she was a little girl. She grew up being abused and made fun of for the way her eyes emitted a faint mist and glowed. It wasn’t until she was twelve that she left the home in which she was abused in and found the spell book her mother left for her. She tried to use her magic for good and to make money, but no one thought it to be real—but still, it was better than being killed for witchcraft. Kira was barely getting by when she received a letter inviting her to a game that promised her fame and acceptance if she should win. She wanted that more than anything in the world...so she accepted.  Abilities: Kira is a containment/assist type. She can use her magic to stun the hunter after being in their fear radius for a specific amount of time. Just being in a match with others allows the other survivors to get a boost of movement speed by 5%. Her healing speed is also increased by 35% because she can use her magic to heal. ~ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵐʸ ʰᵃⁿᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵉᵉ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶦᵈᵉⁿᵗᶦᵗʸ~ |COA Verse|: The Netherwalker’s Spiderlily is one of his closest pawns. Kira, once lovesick and afraid of her lover dying from the Nether’s erosion, so she begged the Netherwalker to spare him and have her in return. With the deal made, Kira’s love was brought back to health—only to leave her for another woman and abandon her completely. The only person she now has is the Pickman and the Netherwalker... Thus, she does whatever is told of her. Does she agree with the Netherwalker’s orders and beliefs? Not in the slightest. But what other choice does she have other than to follow him..? ~ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵃʳᵏ~ |Out of the Manor Verse|: This is a verse that all of my muses have. This ‘verse’ contains all AU threads, crossovers, and just any interaction that doesn’t take place within Oletus Manor.

like this post if you have read it and agree to it, please.

[colachampagnedad]

In an interview with Zane Lowe, the only one Kendrick has done since DAMN.‘s release, Kendrick was extremely cagey about the overall concept for the album. He did drop 2 major hints, for those listening closely. In discussing the opening song, “BLOOD.,” Lowe asks “Is it the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning?” “I can’t tell you that. That’s what I can’t tell you,” Kendrick says with a grin. “Come on, now. That’s the whole thing!,” he continues.

It turns out that was one of the most meaningful exchanges in the entire 44-minute interview. “BLOOD.” opens with “Is it wickedness. Is it weakness. You decide. Are we going to live or die?” That is the key to the entire sonic journey that Kendrick has architected with DAMN.

The theme of “wickedness or weakness” is one that plays out through the entire project. Kendrick asks the question multiple times. It is a deeply philosophical question akin to whether our paths are determined by destiny or whether we have free will to make our own choices. We all sin. There’s no debate about that. What Kendrick wants to know is are our transgressions a result of wickedness that is native to us or do we just have moments of weakness that can be overcome by choosing to walk the righteous path. Kendrick never gives us a definitive answer to the question, but he made 2 albums with 2 different endings—one where the answer is wickedness, which leads to his death, and another where the answer is weakness which finds him alive and flourishing because weakness was overcome. When Kendrick says “You decide. Are we going to live or die,” on “BLOOD.,” those words are deeply intentional. He is literally telling us as listeners that, as many of us did as kids when we read books that allowed us to pick from multiple endings, we have the choice to experience DAMN. 2 completely different ways.

When we listen to the album in the order in which it was released, it takes us down a path of gradual enlightenment. The question of “wickedness or weakness” is explored through several contrasting themes. Kendrick seems to make several choices that show he is not wicked and is often able to overcome weakness. The order of the song titles suggest the evolution. Kendrick moves from “LUST.” to “LOVE.,” “PRIDE.” to being “HUMBLE.,” having “FEAR.” to feeling like a “GOD.”

He struggles, for sure. He articulates his difficulty staying righteous on “FEAR.,” where he raps “I’m talkin’ fear, fear of losin’ loyalty from pride, ’cause my DNA won’t let me involve in the light of God. I’m talkin’ fear, fear that my humbleness is gone. I’m talkin’ fear, fear that love ain’t livin’ here no more. I’m talkin’ fear, fear that it’s wickedness or weakness. Fear, whatever it is, both is distinctive.” It is also on that record where Kendrick’s Uncle Carl gives him the answers for which he’s been searching. He tells Kendrick that people have been punished by God for not following God’s commandments, but they can lift God’s curses by living righteously.

The album culminates with “DUCKWORTH.,” the ultimate example of how curses can be reversed when people overcome their weaknesses and live righteously. In the song, Kendrick lays out the real-life story of how Anthony “Top Dawg” Tiffith, Kendrick’s mentor and the owner of his label, and Kendrick’s father, Ducky, knew each other as young men. Top had robbed the restaurant where Ducky worked before he started working there, and Top intended to do so again. Ducky sensed that Top was dangerous, and rather than treat him hostilely, he chose to act kindly by offering him free food. Top eventually decided against robbing Ducky. The two men would not see each other again for 20 years, and did not realize their profound connection through Kendrick, until the first time they met in the studio. Had either Top or Ducky acted differently 20 years prior, there lives may have been fundamentally different. As Kendrick raps:

“Pay attention, that one decision changed both of they lives, one curse at a time Reverse the manifest and good karma, and I’ll tell you why You take two strangers, and put ’em in random predicaments Give ’em a soul, so they can make their own choices and live with it Twenty years later, them same strangers you make ’em meet again Inside recording studios where they reapin’ their benefits Then you start remindin’ them about that chicken incident Whoever thought the greatest rapper would be from coincidence? Because if Anthony killed Ducky, Top Dawg could be servin’ life While I grew up without a father and die in a gunfight”

Kendrick lays it all out in that one passage. We have souls and can make choices. Top Dawg could have chosen to rob Ducky, but he did not give in to the weakness of temptation. As a result, both Top and Ducky have prospered and Kendrick is thriving.

In addition to providing a mind-blowing end to the story of DAMN., “DUCKWORTH.” is also instructional. Near the beginning of the song, DJ Kid Capri says “We gonna put it in reverse.” Like most things on the album, that phrase can be interpreted in a couple of different ways. In listening to DAMN. from front to back, it could simply mean the album is going to go back in time. After all, most of “DUCKWORTH.” is about Top and Ducky’s lives decades ago. However, soon after the DAMN. and NATION. theory surfaced, another theory arose that suggested DAMN. was actually meant to be experienced in reverse order. Thus, in saying “let’s put it in reverse,” Kid Capri was being instructional rather than descriptive. That interpretation of Kid Capri’s words also unlocks the significance of Kendrick’s hint about listening to the album “over and over and over again to fully understand the direction.”

When listened to in reverse order, DAMN. takes on a completely different feeling. From the beginning of “DUCKWORTH.,” the wickedness (or destiny) theme begins to take shape. The song opens with “It was always me vs. the world. Until I found it’s me vs. me.” Right off the bat, Kendrick is telling us that in this journey he is not battling the choices that the world presents that allow for weakness. Instead, his battle is internal, likely with wickedness.

Aside from Kendrick progressively moving down a path of wickedness in the song titles–going from feeling like a “GOD.” to “FEAR.,” moving from “LOVE.” to “LUST.,” and going from being “HUMBLE.” to embracing “PRIDE.”–the album has a very different sonic arc, as well. In its original order DAMN. gets progressively more introspective and melodic, ending with the deeply soulful “DUCKWORTH.” In reverse, the album gets increasingly aggressive, culminating in the ultra hostile “DNA.” Where “DUCKWORTH.” is about choice and overcoming weakness, “DNA.” is all about Kendrick’s wickedness being hard wired into him. He literally ends his last verse by forecasting his death and acknowledging his inherent wickedness. “Tell me when destruction gonna be my fate, gonna be your fate, gonna be our faith. Peace to the world, let it rotate. Sex, money, murder—our DNA.”

Of course, the last song on the album in reverse is “BLOOD.,” and the final occurrence on the song is Kendrick dying from a gunshot. In reverse, Kendrick’s death is foreshadowed a number of times, starting on “DUCKWORTH.”–which culminated in a gunshot after the album is replayed at hyper-speed, backwards–and continuing through “DNA.” The person who shoots Kendrick is a woman, and that also likely not a coincidence. On his album To Pimp A Butterfly, he makes a number of references to “Lucy,” short for Lucifer. Lucy is a temptress, always luring Kendrick into destructive situations and, just as Kendrick had an in-person encounter with God on TPAB‘s “How Much A Dollar Cost,” it’s not far fetched to believe that his walking down a path of wickedness would end with his death literally at the hands of the devil.

In addition to the dramatic ending “BLOOD.” provides the album, as the last song, other parts of DAMN. start to fit together differently when it is played in reverse order. For example, going back to “FEAR.,” the last thing Uncle Carl says on the record is “Until we come back to these laws, statutes, and commandments, and do what the Lord said, these curses are gonna be upon us. We’re gonna be at a lower state in this life that we live here in today, in the United States of America. I love you, son, and I pray for you. God bless you, shalom.” In reverse order, the next song is “XXX.” which opens with Bekon singing “America, God bless you if it’s good to you. America, please take my hand. Can you help me underst…”

With nuances like that unlocking, it’s easy to start to believe that the “right” order in which to play DAMN. is, indeed, in reverse. But, again, the very first words we hear on the album, when starting with “BLOOD.” are “Is it wickedness? Is it weakness? You decide. Are we gonna live or die?” “DUCKWORTH.” ends with Kendrick living and thriving because Top resisted weakness and made choices that broke the curses of which Uncle Carl spoke in “FEAR.” “BLOOD.” ends with Kendrick dying because the wickedness coded into his DNA has caused him to fall from grace into the hands of the devil. Is “BLOOD.” the beginning or the end? “That’s the whole thing!”

Kendrick’s response to Zane Lowe and “BLOOD.’s” opening words suggest that the album is meant to be experienced in both directions. A tweet by Sounwave, Kendrick’s longtime collaborator, also supports the theory. Before the album was released he posted a cryptic tweet. It was simply a picture of Laurence Fishburne’s character “Morpheus,” from the film The Matrix. The picture is of Morpheus seated in the chair when he offers the main character the choice of which existence he wants to have. “You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”“You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes,” Morpheus says. Red and Blue. There are those two colors, again.

Kendrick did release two albums on April 14. The first album, the forward version, is the Red album, since it is one of enlightenment. Humans succumb to their weaknesses at times, but are also able to overcome them and live righteously. The second album, which plays in reverse, is the Blue album since it ends in death (and was the second color Kendrick uploaded on his Spotify profile). It is one in which wickedness is fateful and fatal.

Besides the song order and bookends/beginnings of “BLOOD.” and “DUCKWORTH.,” there are loads of other themes and occurrences that take place throughout the album, that change its arc and meaning depending on which direction it is played. Kid Capri’s role is one of the most readily accessible examples. When played in its original order, he does not appear until the third song, “YAH.” He simply says “New sh*t. New Kung Fu Kenny.” He appears several other times, and his presence feels like a throwback to his mixtape days in the 90s and 00s, where his drops were an integral part of setting the energy for the tape. When played in reverse, however, Kid Capri’s words seem more like they are advancing the narrative of the story, rather than ad libs to set the mood. In addition to his directions to put it in reverse on “DUCKWORTH.,” transitions like the one between “FEEL.” and “ELEMENT.” start to seem more like commentary. After Kendrick has repeated his refrain of “Ain’t nobody praying for me multiple times,” Kid Capri affirms it on “ELEMENT.,” saying “New Kung Fu Kenny. Ain’t nobody praying for me.” However, he also says “Y’all know what happens on Earth stays on Earth,” foreshadowing Kendrick’s death.

Other examples include the role Kendrick’s Uncle Carl plays on the album. In forward order, Kendrick briefly references him on “YAH.,” but it isn’t until “FEAR.” that we understand his huge significance. After Kendrick has said “ain’t nobody praying for me” a number of times throughout the album, we learn that his Uncle Carl actually literally is praying for Kendrick, and Carl’s revelations seem to be what allow Kendrick to become righteous and thrive.

When played in reverse, however, by continuing to go down a wicked path after receiving Uncle Carl’s knowledge, Kendrick seems to rebuff his words of wisdom. It leads to an increased sense of isolation, which is heard on “FEAR.,” and he outright rejects Carl on “YAH” where he says “My cousin called, my cousin Carl Duckworth. Said know my worth and Deuteronomy say that we all been cursed. I know he walks the Earth, but it’s money to get, bitches to hit.” His disregard of Carl’s teachings causes him to remain cursed and it ultimately costs him his life.

There are certainly several other examples. DAMN. is as dense as it gets…both versions. In his interview with Zane Lowe Kendrick said of the album “I want it to live for the next 20 years.” Given the unbelievable originality of is double album within an album, it seems very likely DAMN. will live for a long, long time.

[sunken-standard]

Hi there! Could you possibly turn your considerable talents to prompts 27 and 57, please? (if nobody has got in ahead of me!) Tom-verse if possible, but I'm happy to leave the artistic decisions to the artist :-) Ellis

I tried for Tom-verse, but I justcouldn’t make anything fit (though, I mean, if you squint, it couldmaybe fit in there before the first ficlet in the series).  Sorry! For some reason the unicorn prompt just tripped me up (I’m evenreusing a bit I had written and scrapped for the other one becauseI’m just coming up empty).  I’m so off my comedy game and all aboardthe train to angstville, apparently.  Also, just pretend thechronology fits with the actual timeline of the show and Surrey hasthe year-round summer of LA.

“Sometimes I just don’t wantto exist”/ “You asked me if unicorns were real”

“Didyou ever wonder if unicorns were real?  Like one horse somewhere inprehistory with some kind of keratinous carcinoma or something thatstarted it all?” Molly said, staring at the 14thcentury ‘unicorn’ horn (that of a narwhal, most likely) mounted onthe wall of the study.

“Probablysomething along those lines, could have been an oryx or a rhino thatsomeone saw while in an altered state.  Between ergot, mushrooms,natural fermentation, and all manner of disease andnaturally-occurring poisons, added to the fact that there was noreliable way to record an experience, it’s amazing we as a speciesever came to any consensus about the nature of reality,”Sherlock said as he searched the club treasurer’s desk.

“Saythat at a physics conference sometime,” she said.

Officesupplies, sweets, nail clippers, cap for a memory stick but no memorystick (bugger), sticky note with password to company server(P@55vv0rd, how clever), deck of naughty playing cards (didn’t evenknow they still made those); nothing useful.  Bollocks.

“Whenhave you ever been to a physics conference?”  He paused in hissearch.  

“Never. But I’ve heard stories.”

“Whenhave you 'heard stories?’”

“Anex-boyfriend is a theoretical physicist.  That one was more schizoidthan sociopath, though.”

Ugh. Another one.  He wished she wouldn’t talk about them.  He’d muchrather pretend she wasn’t an actual woman and never had anyboyfriends at all, for reasons he didn’t care to examine at themoment.  Or ever.  He went back to rifling the drawer.

“Haveyou ever considered your time would be better spent by taking up ahobby instead of wasting it on relationships?  Knitting, taxidermy,paragliding?”

“Sexis a hobby.”

“Nymphomaniaisn’t a hobby, it’s an addiction.”

“Well,what do you know, we have something in common,” she said lightlyand, in Sherlock’s opinion, rather cruelly.

“Notan addict, I’m a user, there’s a difference.”

“AndI’m not a sex addict.  Though, I mean, I’m not a user,either, because that sounds like I’m just looking for a sugar daddyor something.  I just like sex.  A lot.  I mean, we only get so muchtime, might as well enjoy it.”

“Yetwhen I say that about any number of arbitrarily illegal substances, Iget crucified.”

“Wellit’s not like I’m going to suffer a collapsed vagina from repeatedpenetration, unlike a vein and a needle.  Or, you know, literally diefrom too many orgasms.”

Hegrunted as he popped the secret panel behind the drawer.  He reallyhoped it wasn’t booby trapped.  Good thing she was being so annoying;if he started thinking about her vagina and repeated penetration hemight get sidetracked.

*

“Isthat his girlfriend or his daughter?” Molly muttered as shelooked across the lawn to the pool.

Sherlocklooked for himself; the client’s midlife crisis girlfriend and eitherher sister or her friend (hard to tell, they both had the same dyedblonde hair and Instagram brows and noses picked from a book in aCzech bargain-basement plastic surgeon’s office) were lounging indeck chairs.  Nothing particularly striking about them; he wonderedwhy she sounded a bit bitter.  Wasn’t like her.  Best not to ask, hethought, lest he actually get an answer.  Solving the case shouldcheer her up.

“Girlfriend. And she’s got nothing to look forward to but a life ofdisappointment and melanoma.  Come on, I want to check thegroundskeeper’s cottage before he gets back from shaving thetopiaries or painting the grass green or whatever other crimesagainst nature these people feel the need to commit for the sake ofappearances.”

*

“Wow,is that…?”

“Youasked me if unicorns were real.  Apparently they are,” he saidas they approached the groom, busy saddling a white pony with a pinkmane and a rather realistic horn somehow affixed to its head.

“Huh,”Molly said.  Then, as the pony lifted its tail and did what allanimals do, “The internet lied.  That was supposed to be arainbow.”

Sherlocksmirked, then schooled his face before addressing the groom. Wouldn’t do to look happy while questioning the main suspect.

*

“Sothe groom was actually the birth mother and she was helpingthe ex-wife steal from the client?  I will never understand richpeople.  Kinda sad for the little girl, though,” Molly said,looking out the window of the train.

“Alwaysis,” he dismissed, but not rudely.  He hoped.  

“Imean, I kind of sympathize with the ex-wife, especially after seeingthe girlfriend.  A woman gets to a certain age and she’s just…disposable.”

Helooked at her askance; that uncharacteristic note of bitterness wasback in her voice again.

“Isthis about Tom?  You broke it off with him, why are you still upsetover it?”

Surelya few months was more than enough time to get over him.  She barelyblinked before moving on from other boyfriends.

“It’snot about Tom.  Well, maybe some of it.  I’m just tired ofstupid men always coming out on top in these things.”  

“Hardly'on top’ in this case.  His nine year old daughter already resentshim, which is unlikely to change, he can’t perform for hisbarely-legal fiancée—yes, I found a ring while looking for thememory stick—without the help of a little blue pill, and she’lltake him to the cleaners in the divorce settlement within five years,provided his hypertension doesn’t kill him first, at which point thedaughter gets it all anyway.  That is, if there’s anything left bythen.  He has a mountain of debt and he’s made nothing but poorinvestment choices since his ex-wife left.”

“Youknow about investing?  I thought you hated City boys and the entireconcept of money.”

“Iknow a bit.  Mrs. Hudson knows more.  She did successfullylaunder the earnings of a not-insignificant drug cartel for thebetter part of twenty years.”

Theway Molly’s lips pressed together and her eyebrows rose as she tippedher head indicated she really wasn’t very surprised.

“Evenso, ’s still not fair, is it?”

“Verylittle ever is,” he said.

Hedidn’t like Molly being so pessimistic.  It was out of place with theorder of things.  He’d much rather she talk at length and in greatdetail about her vagina and its numerous exploits if it meant shewasn’t so… down.

“SometimesI just don’t want to exist.  It’s still a man’s world and being asingle woman over thirty sucks.”

Nothinghe could really say to that without sounding like a completearsehole.  Just because he didn’t voice any opinions on it didn’tmean he was blind to the struggles competent women faced.  Hell, heknew what it had done to his own mother, and she’d been relativelylucky in the stable, supportive partner area.

“Well,you’ve always got me?” he said, more in the form of a questionthan a statement.  He squinted to make it look like he really wasn’tsure if that was the correct protocol for offering support; hecouldn’t let her know he meant it so sincerely that he refused tothink about the feelings it stirred and what that might mean.

Sheglanced at him with an expression on her face he couldn’t read, thenlooked back out the window.  "I suppose I could find a worsesidekick,“ she said after a few moments.

"Sidekick.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well,yeah, obviously.  I did solve the case, after all.”

“Youdidn’t solve the case.  You found the memory stick, and that was justdumb luck.  I solved the case.  He made the check out to me.”

“Itwasn’t dumb luck.  I knew they had cats, and I know where toy-sizedthings end up when there’s a cat around.”

“Yes,and if you want a sidekick you should get another cat.  I’ll just beyour… consultant.”

“Consultantpain in my arse,” she said, her lips twitching up a bit at thecorner.  It was a start.

“Theysay 'follow your bliss…’” he said lightly, which earned himone of those impish smirks that gave him a mild, almost pleasant formof indigestion.

Sidekick. Honestly.  Though he supposed there were worse fates than playingsecond fiddle to Molly Hooper.

[prgenitor]

( @buriedabove asked: “I think you’d better take a break.” )

a break. jake had once jumped from one job to the next out of necessity. it kept him fed, sheltered, and satiated. he'd been little more than the guy who followed the money, who wrapped himself in violence like a comfortable blanket. and now? the necessity was different. the goal isn't money. it hasn't been since lanshiang. but lately, it feels like exhaustion has seeped into his bones, spreading through him like a virus in its own right. fight after fight, he feels like his boots have been swallowed up by cartoon quicksand, like the path forward is turning hazier, darker.

is it possible to want nothing more than to push onward, to maintain momentum while feeling impossibly burnt out at the same time?

jake's fingers drum idly on the table, “I think you’d better take a break, ” he hears, but chews on the inside of his bottom lip instead of answering promptly. he might have a point and while jake acknowledges it, he isn't sure he wants to accept it either. taking a break meant silence. taking a break meant letting his thoughts fester. he's not used to being left alone with them and fighting keeps them at bay. slowly, his blue gaze lifts to focus on leon yet again, unable to disguise the uncertainty of his furrowed brow. his fingers come to a stop, hand resting on the table instead — stilling.

❝ do you ever take a break? ❞ he asks, not intending for it to sound defiant. it's a genuine question. hell, so far he suspected that everyone swallowed up by bioterrorism was overworked. ❝ seems to me like there's always something to fight. ❞

[prgenitor]

( @lasplaga asked: don't leave me in the dark. ▶ "TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON" PROMPTS / always accepting! )

it's impossible to be here by accident. the old pathways for hikers have grown over — the region under a persistent quarantine to keep unsuspecting tourists from stumbling upon the ganados that persevered inside. but jake knew exactly where he was going.

( to an extent )

he's uninterested in the science that seemed to motivate his father to valdelobos nearly ten years prior. wesker's research is worse than unimportant — it's the pursuit of a madman. he isn't surprised at the cruelty and carelessness of people, but if he's learned anything, it's that the world was filled with malignancies that no one should have touched.

just because you can, didn't mean you should, right?

he's tracing the footsteps of a ghost, not digging for answers as much as he's digging for closure.

he feels a deep unease since he'd arrived, stomach jostled, mind too alert, like he needs to keep constant watch over his shoulder. he's made it to the castle and it's the opposite of a fairytale. the air feels heavy like tangible death, pain still lingers.

❝ shit, who lights all these? ❞ combat boots trudge through the audience chamber, focused on the eery candlelight, instead of the way his stomach swims. shake it off, jake. shake it the fuck off.

don't leave me in the dark, he hears and spins around, looking for the source of the voice.

❝ sorry, i'm not really the sharing type of guy. ❞

[prgenitor]

( @gviirus asked: " Wesker Junior. Your father and I conducted business together. " A pause, and Ada gives him an observing glance. " ...there's something more to you than he ever was. " )

the more he learned about his father — the more he hoped that the parts of him that had made him crazy weren't also a part of jake. while he'd been self-serving, he didn't get a rise out of hurting others ( though he can't know how wesker felt, can't wrap his head around what made him tick and now, he can't ask him ). he'd thought himself more neutral for so damn long, but now he wants more than that. he wants to be better, wants to prove that blood didn't make him. he doesn't want to fear genetics.

in some ways, he feels as though he'd been shorthanded. he lost the opportunity to speak to the man, lost the chance to know who he was firsthand. but judging how he was talked about, he might've dodged a bullet too. jake only wished he'd had some kind of choice in it. it's through the stories of others, through those who worked with him, fought with him, or had known of him in life that can help him.

❝ was that before or after he went off the deep end? ❞ he asks, though his brow furrows, considering what she said. jake shakes his head, because while he can hope that there's more to him, he's intimidated by the unknown. ❝ — how do you mean? ❞