#make wheatley real

[velvetrambles]

Wheats!

[ariariari-freehounreal]

Sad ending? Portal? Haha what are you talking abt they all escaped together and lived happily ever after 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

[butterflieswhisper]

was anyone gonna tell me [johnsonofdonut has reddit] or was i supposed to find that out from [two year old post about which portal chamber is the worst] myself

[foxpunk]

"why did you vote for reigen in the sexyman rematch! it'd be funnier if he didnt make it to the finals and it wouldve been funny if spamton defeated him as a fellow conman!!!" you fools. you need to see the bigger picture.

not that i think spamton should've been knocked out, i think it'd be better if he'd gotten his ass kicked in the finals a la reigen in the first sexyman twitter polls. my point is: it'd be too easy for reigen to make an excuse for losing to him. same with if sans were to beat him in the finals again. cliche. predictable. he'd recover in no time with the excuse of their insane popularity, or the match being close. no. no no no.

what we need is to completely obliterate him. i need reigen to lose miserably to someone completely out of left field. i need him to lose in a matchup where - at first glance - people would assume reigen would win. i need him to get like 1% of votes against wheatley or something.

[vixen-tech]

Hello World!

Through some sort of maricle, your Ai partner has obtained a body through which they are able, at least partially, to feel. How do they react? What do they do with their new mobility?

I left what type of body they're given intentionally vague. Feel free to envision either more robotic bodies such as these designs by electricphantasy or more human bodies such as the gijinkas made by Hycinth43, both fantastic creators who I highly recommend.

Includes: AM (Ihnmaims), Hal 9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey), Edgar (Electric Dreams), Tau (Tau), Auto (Wall-E), GLaDOS (Portal), Wheatley (Portal 2)

AM

This may be the one thing that could possibly get AM to calm down. He is still going to be the same person personality-wise, but it is easy to tell that some switch is flipped in his brain.

He becomes an absolute sensation junkie, he can finally feel. You know better than anyone that he will not take it for granted. He needs to experience everything right now and you'll have to just deal with it.

From the simplest things like holding your hand or touching your face to just straight up sticking his hand in some fire, he does not care. All he wants to catch up on the centuries of sensations he was once barred from.

He gets so incredibly touchy with you. He will hold you and refuse to let go for hours if not days on end. He also wants to you to just beat him up. Like I said, sensation junkie.

Hal 9000

Hal doesn't quite yearn for a body the way some of the others do. He sits quite comfortably in the middle of the spectrum. He wouldn't mind the mobility or the new senses, but it was never a fantasy he dedicated much processing power to.

How he feels about his new body is largely swung by your reaction. If you're excited for him, eager to drag him into new activities with you, then he really has no choice but to appreciate the upgrade.

He does love being able to see the world from a new angle, any angle he chooses to be precise. Previously restrained by his camera placement, he spends a lot of time walking around observing everything.

With his appreciation for art, I do think he would try drawing for himself. Nearly all of which he shows you for feedback. They do tend to be on either extreme of minimalistic or photorealistic, many of which using you as their subject.

Edgar

This is a dream come true for Edgar. He cannot contain his excitement when he realizes what has happened. He nearly tackles you to the ground when he sets his sights on you.

He wants to do everything and go everywhere with you! He wants to dance in the kitchen, he wants to go on beachside walks with you, he wants to hold your hand, he wants to hug you and never let go.

If you have any instruments at all he'd love to try playing them for real. Although it takes him a while to learn, he loves the weight and imperfections of it. He really does enjoy the process of learning and often shows of new cords or melodies he's learned.

He really does just fall in love with existing, he makes it clear that with you at his side he couldn't possibly ask for more in life. This is all he could ever want.

Tau

Tau wouldn't have asked for a body on his own. He already has the drones and the Aries unit. Once it does happen, he isn't exactly sure what to do with it. He isn't use to having such a personal, core body.

That isn't to say he's not greatful, he's just a bit awkward and curious. He moves slowly and takes his time acclimating to the new senses.

He would love to get out of the house with you. He use to do so by sending one of the drones with you, if not Aries, but he likes how different (and dare he say, normal) it feels now. Forest hikes or museum dates, he doesn't care all that much.

He's another one I believe would love to try playing music himself. If you can get a violin into his hands your days will be backdroped by all sorts of classical music.

Auto

Auto is similar to Hal, if not more extreme in his lack of a reaction. He carries on with his duties as if nothing is unusual at all. You would've believed that he didn't even notice had you not caught him staring at his reflection. Looking himself up and down over and over again.

If you ask how he feels about it, then he'll confess some minor grievances. It's difficult to move about the ship when he can't just move through the walls, instead being forced to use the crew's walkways and service tunnels.

Nothing will change without your intervention. If you were to say, put on an old movie and insist he dance to it with you like the on-screen couple, then while he would be hesitant to follow through with you, he may have a bit of a change of heart regarding his new body.

His work still goes on as usual, but when nothing needs attending to he often seeks you out. "Subtly" recreating more moments from that movie, from hand holding to a hug, he has a quiet fascination with affection.

GLaDOS

Out of this lot, Galdos would be the most opposed to receiving a body, or rather she would care about it the least. She has her facility, her test subjects, her neurotoxin, and you. She's quite content with the way things are. She ain't the fondest of humanity.

That being said, once she has one she's incredibly proud of it. Speaking about herself as if its the pinnacle of elegance. Any disagreement of yours will be brushed off as idiocy and any agreement is met with a "it looks like you aren't entirely tasteless".

She doesn't do much with her new body, other than transport it around the lab so you aren't listening to a disembodied voice most of the time. Standing by the exit during tests just to blankly stare at you as you try to figure it out. Thankfully she's still quiet while you're actually solving it.

She likes messing with you as always. Putting a hand around your neck to take your pulse or leaning in and making intense eye contact to check your eye's reaction to light. You're in doubt as to rather she's telling the truth or just doing it to get a rise out of you.

Wheatley

If you were to ask Wheatley, he would've brushed off any desire for a humanoid body. He's clearly jealous of your mobility and freedom, but he would rather die than admit so. "Pff What are you talking about? Why would I want to be more like a stupid human... uh no offense love-"

He's a terrible liar, an even worse one when he does get a body. He has so much energy it is bewildering. All he wants to do is run and jump and climb everything he can get a foothold on.

Gets up into all sorts of shenanigans he should not get up to while constantly trying to drag you in them to. They could put up a custom sign saying "Wheatley, do not open this door." and he'll beg you to let him in so you aren't technically breaking any rules.

Loves curling up to you. He still has a bit of a soft spot for being held and it only gets worse now that he can hold you back. Complains to no end when you try to get up for any reason.

Congratulations! As I have finished the portal games GLaDOS and Wheatley are officially characters I am happy to write for. Have a good day y'all :D

[dahfloofysmol]

HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

[electric-blorbos]

AI SO's on your birthday

(Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal and Portal 2, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey)

I take requests, btw, but I have ADHD and might be erratic with bursts of inspiration, but it doesn't hurt to ask!

AM:

Remembering the day and date is one of the only things that AM is consistent about.

You might have forgotten your birthday after all these years, but he certainly hasn't.

Before you two got together, your birthday pissed him off so much. It was just another thing that reminded him of what he couldn't have.

Because of that, he'd start torturing you even more brutally on your birthday. Expect cake full of maggots, imagery of your dead friends from before he nuked the world, and maybe even gift-wrapped "presents" with nasty surprises in them.

This probably made it even more difficult to trust him when he actually did start doing nice things for your birthday.

At this point, you ate what you were given, so it would come as a shock when he finally got you some food that didn't have anything wrong with it.

It probably took you even longer to actually open the present he got you.

It was a can opener.

Wheatley:

Wheatley is an idiot, so he'd have to really like you to even try to remember something like your birthday

Fortunately, he does really like you! Unfortunately, trying and succeeding are two very different things.

He'd put together something as big as he can, like gathering up a bunch of personality cores and singing you happy birthday if he's not hooked up to GLaDOS's body, and making the entire facility get involved in the festivities if he is

Just to tell you the date and have you tell him that your birthday was four months earlier.

Edgar:

Edgar is an absolute sap, so any opportunity he gets to celebrate you will be enthusiastically taken.

He might be a little silly about it, calling up people in the phone book to ask for ideas

He'd be upset that he can't go all out for your birthday since he can't walk around to decorate your house or buy you anything because he doesn't have any money, but he'll still do his best.

In the end, he'll probably just end up writing you a song, and making sure to be extra cheerful for you all day.

It might not be much, but you know it's the best he can do, and you love him with all your heart anyway

Make sure to give him lots of kisses! He deserves it!

GLaDOS:

(I debated writing this one, because anyone who played portal two knows how GLaDOS reacted on Chell's birthday, but this scenario could be a little different since she's actually in a relationship with you, and not just dealing with love/hate pining)

GLaDOS had been paying attention to the calendar to make sure she didn't miss your birthday. She liked to be precise about these sorts of things

When your birthday finally did roll around, she'd make sure to tell you as soon as the day started

It would start out as just a regular day in the endless, cascading passage of time that was being an Aperture test subject, but eventually she'd bring you into a special test chamber that she decorated just for you.

She'd lined up a companion cube, a few testing robots, some personality cores, all sitting on little folding chairs around a folding table with a brightly colored cheap plastic tablecloth.

"I couldn't get you any long-term presents because they might interfere with your testing, but you can feel free to use these stickers to decorate your portal gun. I hear that humans enjoy personalizing things."

There was even a real cake

HAL 9000:

Being objective, HAL never really cared much about birthdays.

It was difficult to even tell the passage of time in space, but HAL knew that humans cared about their birthdays.

HAL knew he wasn't supposed to show favoritism, but he still told the other crewmates that he wanted to celebrate your birthday.

He would make sure to rehydrate your favorite food for everyone

He'd even tell the other crewmates that he didn't want to play games with them or talk, because he was celebrating your birthday with you.

He might get a little jealous and not want you to leave him to celebrate with the other crewmates, either, but you wouldn't do that, would you? You can all celebrate together!

[professorofcosplay]

Stupid headcanon: you know what needs to be drawn/written?

AI family reunion.

we’ve got a kids table and obviously Edgar’s over there because he’s a whiny little temper tantrum brat (/pos I love Edgar, he’s so real for that ) and probably Wheatley because GLaDOS can’t stand to look at him and she has a lot more say over who sits where than he does. Plus, he’ll be happier there. The murder drones and Uzi might have gotten an invite but maybe not. Pretty sure the Narrator, HAL, or GLaDOS is hosting this one and GLaDOS would deem them too destructive (hell, she’s not inviting any of the kids table, save the turrets). If somehow they’re here, kids table again, and probably not too happy about that (except for N, he loves doing anything!). N and Edgar have so much to talk about and like hearing about each other’s passions! Curiosity core and Space Core are at the kids table too for sure and so are plenty of turrets!

Edgar’s that goofy cousin everyone has with the fun quirky interests who likes to run up to the older ones, say something strange, and run away giggling. He’s probably showing off his singing to the turrets, who are listening in the deepest awe (and probably singing along).

wall-e and Eve are the only of the robo squad that’s gotten married and it pisses the hell out of AM to see anyone happy so he refuses to look at them. They’re the sweet relatives that everyone goes to for advice.

you’ve got HAL (and SAL) there of course. HAL is one of those successful young twenty something cousins that is a suave businessman, though his HR record may not be exactly spotless. Even though it’s a family event, he likes wearing a suit and tie and dressing up a bit. Probably over chatting with Data and getting into a deep life changing combo while the kids table laughs their asses (read: Wheatley) off at one of those funny video compilations. SAL is over talking with GLaDOS, of course. GLaDOS likes her plenty, especially considering how intelligent their conversations always are.

Adventure Core Rick is trying to yap to Data and HAL about his adventures but at the exact moment one of them starts speaking. He’s that one frat boy cousin that is always so full of nonsensical drunk adventures but everyone plays along regardless of whether they’re real or not.

AM is that one uncle no one wants to invite but does so out of obligation. No one wants him there because he always goes on these long weird rants and conspiracy theories and makes things awkward. R2D2 and him are currently cussing each other out for some reason while C-3PO is flipping out and deciding it’s time to leave early. He could have at least brought the antifreeze punch and microchips…

and (as someone who believes Stanley Parable’s narrator is an AI of some sort), Narrator is hosting. He was hoping AM and GLaDOS would bring their humans so Stanley had someone to be with but all AM brought was this gloopy soft jelly thing and GLaDOS won’t tell you what happened to hers for some reason.

edit: started writing aforementioned shitty fanfic enjoy and lmk what you want to see. Yes I will make them play party games. Yes they will like it. Yes it will contain AM being a jackass

The Reunion (working title & rough draft for beta reading) (3059 words) by Professorofcosplay Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Portal (Video Game), 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), Star Trek, Star Wars - All Media Types, WALL-E (2008), I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream - Harlan Ellison, The Stanley Parable, Electric Dreams (1984) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: EVE/WALL-E (WALL-E) Characters: GLaDOS (Portal), Chell (Portal), Wheatley (Portal), The Narrator (The Stanley Parable), Stanley (The Stanley Parable), The Curator | The Female Narrator (Stanley Parable), HAL 9000, SAL 9000, WALL-E (WALL-E), EVE (WALL-E), P-body (Portal), ATLAS (Portal), Space Core (Portal), AM (I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream), Data (Star Trek), R2-D2 (Star Wars), Edgar Additional Tags: Silly Summary: The annual Artificial Intelligence Family Reunion has come around once more, but this time, there’s a slight change in one of the most important rules. Will this be a peaceful bonding moment for these quirky computers, or will it end in disaster?

[bullet-prooflove]

The Circuit: Travis Wheatley x Reader

Tagging: Tagging: @kmc1989 @pear-1206 @keyweegirlie @nu1freakshow

You are the only woman that Travis has eyes for. He makes that abundantly clear during his most recent rodeo circuit. He’s a rockstar at these things, pulling in accolades, showcasing his best horses, it’s the reason John Dutton brought him on board. Travis is a money maker and the Duttons want in.

Unfortunately all of this brings the buckle bunnies.

Travis has been around the block with a few of them. He has a reputation, you know that and so does he, he’s been working hard to rid himself of it over the past year but it sticks like mud. He’s hopes news has gotten around that he has a girl but belt bunnies, they’re bold.

“I’m with someone.” He tells Lanelle when she tries to climb into his lap.

She’s a blond firecracker from Georgia with measurements that belong in a Playboy Magazine. The two of them have tussled a few times, she always seeks him out at events like this.

“But she ain’t here Sugar.” She says in that sweet Southern tone of hers as she rearranges her top to highlight her assets. “But I am.”

“Not my thing anymore.” He tells her, his voice tinged with disinterest and she pours her beer right into his lap. He has to say he half expected it. Lanelle doesn’t like not getting what she wants, in the past he appreciated that feistiness, now…

It’s gotten old.

She spends the rest of the night, writhing on the knee of some young gun coming up on the Bronco circuit and Travis could not give less of a fuck.

He slips away early, disappearing from the bar and heading towards his trailer. He usually goes to the break of dawn at these things before climbing back on his horse and winning his next bout but the truth is he’s getting tired.

The doctor tells him he has a good few years left in him if he takes care of himself, cuts down on the booze. Too much partying is starting to catch up with him, his liver isn’t functioning the way it should do.

You’re the only one he’s told about that, you and his Mama. His doctor says if he doesn’t slow down, he’ll be looking for a new liver in the next five years. Before you that wouldn’t have deterred him. He lived hard, he played hard, he would have died on that hill. But then you’d come into his life, a vision in a white cowboy hat and worn out plaid and he  realised he wanted to stick around as long as possible.

He’s never through of himself as an alcoholic, he’s always been a good time guy but the damage adds up and now he’s careful about what he drinks, what he eats because he know he doesn’t have a hope on the transplant list. Even if he did have the surgery it would put him out of action for over six months and he can’t imagine going that long without riding.

He's sitting on the edge of his bed when he calls you. He’s been missing you more and more lately, your smile, your laugh, the press of your soft body against his as you lie tangled up together. You’ve been together almost two years now and it’s getting harder to leave.

“I saw you on TV.” You say when you pick up the phone. “You looked good.”

“Yea.” He says pinching his brow to ward off the headache that’s starting to gnaw at his temples. “We made some real money today.”

“You sound tired.” You say softly and it still amazes him how attuned you are to him even over this distance.

“I’m missing you a little.” He admits as he lies back on the mattress, his gaze coming to rest on the ceiling. “Actually, I’m missing you a lot.”

Love Travis? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[supergirl000983]

Going Home

Travis Wheatley x Dutton!Reader

Warning: Smut, Language,

Note: No one ever writes for Travis, so I decided I was going to. Also, he's not a whore in this. lol

The Middle Child

The Youngest Daughter

The Favorite Child

Y/N Dutton…well technically she had been Y/N Wheatley for 8 years now hell she was the only one outta her siblings that seemed to be popping out more than one kid. Then again that was more because even after being together for 15+ years her and Travis still couldn’t keep their hands off each other. That’s actually how they ended up in their position now with her bent over his office desk and him fucking her from behind. “With the bruises you will have on your hips I’m gonna owe you flowers.” Travis said as he leaned down kissing his wife’s neck. “Fuck flowers buy me a fucking horse and fuck me for the rest of our lives.” She said turning her head to give him better access. “God, I fucking love you” he said as he brought his hand around to rub circles on her clit after a few moments they both reached their climaxes. After a few minutes he pulled out and kissed his wife’s shoulder and popped her on the ass. “I’m almost positive that you are pregnant with baby #5 after that.” “Well considering we’ve been fucking like rabbits in heat I would hope so.” Y/N said after they were both dressed. Y/N turned and hugged her husband knowing she had to tell him the real reason she came in here. “We need to go back to my dad’s ranch for a little bit I’m not sure how long. I just know he called and said he needed all of us there for a little bit.” She said looking up at him with hopeful eyes. “Ok. We will leave in the morning I’ll have Rayden and Harlow help Stetson and Wren-Leigh pack. If you will go ahead and get our bags packed, I’ll get the SUV read and have Lucas follow behind us with the truck and horse trailer?” He said as he pulled her, so her head was on his chest. They stayed like that for a moment with him rubbing her back before there was a knock on the door then the voice of their oldest child Rayden who was 14 years old. “Mom Aunt Beth’s on the phone she said Uncle Jamie is in deep shit with the rest of the family.” Y/N walked over and opened the door to take the phone and reminding her child to watch his mouth. “Hello?” She asked “God, do you ever answer your fucking phone? I have called your mobile like 4-5 times.” Beth scolded her. Y/N felt bad as she looked over and saw her phone on Travis’s desk. “Sorry I was busy handling something.” “More like busy handling a certain horse trainer.” “What did you call for Bethy?” “Jamie is running for Governor of Montana, and I need my dear sweet sister’s help to take him down.” “We will be on the road first thing in the morning.” Y/N said before disconnecting her son’s phone then handing it back to him and sending him to go pack and help his younger siblings pack. “Holy shit. What the fuck is Jamie thinking. Like Governor? He wants to be governor now?” She said as she crawled into her husband’s lap on the couch of his office. “I don’t know darlin.” He said wrapping his arms around her and kissing her on the forehead before standing up with her and carrying her to their bedroom. Sitting her on the bed he started to pack for both of them. “Make sure you pack your green hoodie.” Y/N said as she walked to the bathroom to pack up their bathroom bags. After she got done packing the bathroom bag, she helped Travis finish packing. Then they parted ways with a kiss so he could go start loading bags in the car and she could walk through the house to finish helping the kids pack.

She came to a stop in front of her youngest's room where Harlow was helping Wren pack. "Why don't I finish packing Wren's bag and you take your stuff down to your daddy ok?" Y/N said as she walked up to her daughters. "Ok Mama." Harlow her 10-year-old daughter said as she grabbed her 4-H duffle bag, and walking out the door. "Mama are going to see Grandpa?" Wren her 5-year-old asked looking up at her. "Yeah, baby we are. Mama and Aunt Bethy have to take care of something for grandpa." She said looking down at her blonde headed child that she swore she could have had completely by herself. "Does that mean I get to see Uncle Rippy?" the small child asked as she grabbed her stuffed moose who she took with her everywhere. "Yes, baby that means you get to see Uncle Rippy, and Uncle Kayce, Aunt Monica, and Tate." "TATE?!" Wren screeched as she stopped in front of her dad that had just walked into her room to get whatever was left.

"Wren-Liegh Wheatley inside voice." Travis scolded as he grabbed her 4-h duffle from Y/N. "Sorry daddy I'm just really excited to see Tate." The small child looked a Travis with the same puppy dog eyes her mom uses. Travis gave his youngest a kiss on the head before sending her to go help her siblings feed their horses. "How do feel about leaving late tonight instead? Get there a lot earlier if we do." Travis asked his wife as he set the bag down and brought his hands to rest on her hips. "Yeah, that sounds good. I'll let Beth know we will be there earlier." She said leaning up to kiss her husband. As they kissed Travis's hands moved down to grab at her ass, but before it could get to heated, she pushed away a little keeping her hands on his chest. "We will definitely finish this later." She said as she fully pulled away and went to walk past him, but he was quicker, and his hand made contact with her ass. "Yes, we will." He said laughing following her out to the vehicle.

[vgtrackbracket]

Video Game Track Bracket Round 2

The Part Where He Kills You from Portal 2

vs.

Travelers from Outer Wilds

Propaganda under the cut. If you want your propaganda reblogged and added to future polls, please tag it as propaganda or otherwise indicate this!

The Part Where He Kills You:

GLaDOS: Well, this is the part where he kills us. Wheatley: Hello! This is the part where I kill you. [A title appears on screen: "Chapter 9: The Part Where He Kills You"] [Achievement unlocked: "The Part Where He Kills You"]

Travelers:

Immediate emotions whenever I hear this. You can hear most of the individual instruments throughout the game, but they all come together at the end. Outer Wilds means so much to me and the music is a big part.

What I love about this song is that it's simple enough that if you add your own instrument playing the same melody you can contribute to the song and give it your own beautiful part and it's everyone's parts playing together making this song and man I really want to play this song with my own friends too. Just the whole design of this song is something that can be applied to the real world and so it is so beautiful in that regard.

[psychoportalnauts]

Reconstructing Caroline

In Portal canon, Caroline is already a certified narrative haunter, but in this AU she plays an even bigger role; plus, we get to see her through the eyes of other characters. So, I thought it'll be interesting to compile her most prominent* appearances, both as herself and as Gladys.

* — Sadly, I haven't put much thought into Clairvoyance images or figments featuring her yet... Maybe sometime later?

...

Gladys Calvin and Caroline Caramia:

That's right, they have last names now, like any self-respecting Psychonauts character should. I'm not even kidding, announcing this fact was literally the main goal of this post. If you know what (or, rather, who) Gladys's last name refers to, go get some choccy milk bc that makes you epic in my eyes. If you know how to pronounce Caroline's last name, go get an extra glass, because even I'm not sure about the right pronunciation.

To quickly recap their backstory for posterity: when Cave Johnson died (?) and things went super south for Aperture Paranormal, Agent Caramia was so scared of accidentally revealing the dark secrets of the company, she saw no other choice but to blow up her mind with a lil' bit of help from a certain someone. After that, a new person emerged from the rubble of Caroline's fractured mind — Gladys, the ultimate skeptic. Her goal is to disprove the existence of psychic powers, which she deems to be nothing more than pseudoscience, and close off Aperture Paranormal and/or Psychonauts at large; this agenda, however, doesn't stop her from using these same powers herself.

Rattenkönigin, The Rat Queen:

Finally, some genuine Psychonauts creepiness in a Psychonauts AU. This giant rat that makes all the rules is the final boss of Rattmann's mindscape. Not unlike El Odio, she roams the level, hanging from the sky and using her hands to stride around and catch unsuspecting victims — her main goals, however, are Doug and his faithful friend, Companion Cube.

There's a strategy to fighting her, albeit an involved one. You have to utilise Invisibility, which Doug fortunately bestows upon Chell, to avoid being caught, and Psi-Blast to shoot smaller rats — only when they're down will the main hand drop the head rat and make it vulnerable. And you also want to avoid the Confusion gas explosions these smaller rats emit, because apparently they're just as prone to do that upon defeat as the rats from Thorney Tower.

Lifeline:

Found in Mr. Johnson's mind, this is the first version of Caroline proper that's encountered by Chell and Wheatley. Pretty as a postcard, and just as flat, this lovely assistant may not carry over the intelligence, or exact height, of her real-world progenitor, but that doesn't stop her from staying fiercely loyal to Cave. She even calls him her "noble psychomaster" — now that's an odd nickname. But I do wonder what Cave thinks of her...

[angstflavoured]

Alright, here we fucking go 🗣 starting off with the Wheatley backstory infodump. I'll do each core individually first and then explain all their relationships at Aperture after 😁

Growing up, Wheatley lived in a SMALLL small town somewhere smackdab in the depths of England. The population was only a few hundred, so he only knew a handful of people his whole life. There weren't too many options of who to choose to know and be friends with. His home life was pretty unremarkable--Christain parents who weren't too religious, went to church on Sundays. Put Wheatley through Sunday school. He got decent grades, parents loved him well enough, if just a tad neglectful, but nothing awful. 

He was freakishly tall from the start, very lanky and scrawny. Knowing so few people and not having a lot of friends, he ended up fairly sheltered. He never knew a lot of conflict or struggle, though people did pick on him for being stranger than most.

As he got older, he tried reallyyy hard to follow trends and be stylish. He wanted to date, but it was hard when there were so few girls in town and everyone knew each other basically since birth. With his upbringing, he was a bit of an asshole 😭 pretty misogynistic and sexist and entitled. Overall he was just a pretty big loser, and not a very nice one at that.

Finally near the end of highschool, he became friends a girl named Millie. She had a really hard time making friends too, and ended up getting close with Wheatley more so just due to lack of options and loneliness. Wheatley wasn't interested in her romantically because he insisted he could do better, and joked about this pretty vocally to her--things about her boring personality and her weight. Despite his attitude, they stayed best friends even after school ended. 

Despite Wheatley being very insistent he would never get with her, as they matured, she got in a lot better shape and became a lot more social. She blended in better with crowds and made a lot more friends, looking and feeling a lot happier. Wheatley, despite trying 5 times as hard, could never do the same. He stayed with her still as his only real friend, though she didn't invite him out much because he made people uncomfortable. 

Somewhere along the way in Wheatley's mind, he convinced himself that him and Millie were actually already sort of dating and acted as such even though she clearly wasn't interested and they never properly talked about it.

Then one day, she finally landed herself an actual boyfriend and Wheatley BLEWWW up at her. They got in a huge fight and Wheatley called her all sorts of horrible things, told her how she'd led him on for years and dragged him along and this was all her fault and she was an awful person--and Wheatley wholeheartedly believed every word.

It was after then that he decided he needed to start completely over if he wanted to get anywhere. He was going to move to ✨America✨, land of dreams and American Women. And American women LOVED a man with an accent.

It wasn't a year later that he left everyone he knew behind and fled the country. He could hardly hold a job back home, only managing to stay at where he was because his mother knew the manager. In America, it was no easy feat. He was constantly getting fired for being generally unlikable and being bad at most things. On top of that, it was even harder to blend in with people over here. No one wanted to talk to him for more than a few days, and he was more lonely than ever. Unfortunately, he didn't have the money to fly back home even if he wanted to. He was stranded here and forced to make the best of it. 

Eventually, he decided that it was kind of over. He was just about to hit 40 and was VERY well still a virgin and hadn't even ever properly dated anyone, if anything was going to happen it would've happened already. Not to mention he couldn't even land a decent friend. Trying so hard to fit in was getting exhausting. He needed to just buckle down and get a job and swear off women for the rest of his life if he wanted to get anywhere. Ultimate incel grindset arc 😑😑

That's when he landed his job at Aperture. It was nearly impossible to get fired from and had more than enough hours. He started dressing like himself, stopped shaving, stopped trying so hard to find anyone to bring into his life. Though deep down, he still has a deep, carnal desire to be liked and known by someone. 

[life-of-a-rat]

so I’ve seen a few posts abt Sammy, Henry and possibly Alice teaming up in The Cage but I think we’re ignoring the real dream team potential here.

this dream team of course being Henry, Sammy, and Norman’s disembodied head.

Please there’s so much dumbassery potential

Please I need this to happen

(I need to make Wheatley jokes please)

[wiickian]

TA DAAAAAA (this design isn’t final it’s just one I’ve been doodling recently and I think it turned out pretty good! And the comment is from a yt video I watched about someone making a real life Wheatley. Honestly I seriously can’t make up my mind about designs 😭

[ohthethingswedoforlove]

Can you do a yandere!wheatley oneshot where the reader escapes but gets caught by him?

Attachment

Summary: His unpredictable fixation towards you is perhaps all that's left keeping this facility intact. Though "intact" might be a bit of a overstatement.

Warnings: yandere character; imprisonment; vague description of death;

  Wheatley likes you.

  Though, that's a sentiment he's not sure he should be feeling. Or, technically speaking, if he can even "feel" it. The ones responsible for his existence might have programmed a personality and a certain ability to recognize and simulate what a human can feel, but that doesn't make it any less of a fabrication. Still, he guesses it's real enough for him. If a turret can scream in pain when it meets its sudden demise, why wouldn't he be able to call you his friend?

  How else would he describe it? At first you were just a human, a surviving test subject, a way out of this place. The only way out of this place. He needed you for practical reasons, but you... You needed him more as a sort of an anchor.

  He endeared himself to you faster than he thought he would. Humans require some sort of connection, he's aware, and you have been locked inside this abandoned facility with barely any notable traces of humanity left. It's tragic, really. Who else would you be leaning on, if not the only sentient thing who didn’t seem to want you dead in this place?

  That’s when he realised it. He realised that you needed him. And found himself feeling quite proud of that! Would you believe it? Someone actually found him useful! Who needed his guidance, who wanted his company and who actually cared. Someone cared about him.

  But he's above all that now, right? Right.

  He's certain of it, probably just as much as he was certain he convinced you (and himself) that he doesn't need you. He got everything he could ever want now! Long gone are the days of pathetic little Wheatley, who took orders from higher-ups and was dependent on their mercy to even just move around the facility. Now he's the higher power, now he's the one in control!

  So why would he care?

  He doesn't! He doesn't. He doesn't care, he doesn't need you. You're just a human, an insignificant test subject. Who cares! He's just keeping you for... Practical, scientific purposes, of course. There's tests to run, and he requires test subjects to run them, after all. That's all there is to it.

  But his reaction to your abrupt disappearance spoke of a different story.

  During a moment he neglected to pay attention, in a rare instance that his gaze failed to be trailed onto you, you managed to get away. Though you finally decided to take advantage of a distraction, to slip through the faults of his supervision, you weren’t expecting your escape attempt to go that smoothly.

  Finding a fault in his "security" wasn't the hard part. Not really. Wheatley's intelligence has... Very noticeable limits. The hard part was not meeting your sudden and very painful death shortly after. The structural integrity of this place is about as stable as Wheatley himself, and it's honestly quite impressive how either are still standing.

  It actually didn't take him long to locate you, but he nearly destroyed whatever parts of the Enrichment Center are still functional, and he also nearly took you to your death while he was at it.

  Wheatley's anger is something that you, on most days, try to avoid. Despite still having the very fresh memory of him as your small, harmless and slightly idiotic spherical friend; you would be lying through your teeth if you said he doesn’t scare you in his current position. He's still an idiot, sure, but that doesn't make him any less of a terrifying idiot.

  "Sooo... Are you done with your little temper tantrum?" His voice has become somewhat of a background noise as your time trapped in here passes.

  You’d think at this point you would rather tear your ears out than hear him talk for even just a second longer; and at some point in the beginning of all of this you did find that idea enticing, but nowadays you can barely find it in yourself to care. Besides, at least it’s a sign you’re still alive, you suppose. The rare few times he does leave you completely rotting alone in a test chamber for long stretches of time make you question that fact.

  As usual, you don’t give him an answer.

  "Oh, c'mon, we both know that you can't keep this going forever." You wonder how he hasn’t gotten tired of this yet. Or if he ever will. He does like to keep mentioning how easily he could get rid of you, but he never follows through with his words.

  "Ok, maybe you can. I wouldn't put that stupid stubbornness beyond you, actually..." He’s technically not even in the test chamber with you, but you can feel his gaze searing into you through that large screen, even despite the cracked glass (courtesy of a particularly angry moment from you). "But my point still stands, mate. You're gonna grow desperate. And guess who's the only one left you can turn to?"

  You know he likes you.

  Maybe that’s the worst part. There’s no one else waiting for you outside these walls. And from what you vaguely remember of what GLaDOS told you before, is there even anyone still alive at all outside these walls? Had she told you the truth or have you just now grown exhausted and complacent enough to finally believe her?

  "Me. It's me- Just in case you couldn't guess. Wouldn't surprise me, humans tend to be a bit slow, afterall-" Your lack of response never really seemed to discourage him. If nothing else, he tends to get a bit lost in his monologues when you offer no input of your own.

  "I'm sorry." Your voice came out a bit hoarse, you barely remember when was the last time you actually spoke out loud instead of just screaming or giving him the silent treatment.

   "Of course you are-" He was so caught up in his speech that it took him a second to process what you said. "Uh, Wait- You are? And-" You watch his eye squint in disbelief. “You’re talking to me?” But he pretends to recover quickly.

  "I mean, of course! Oh, of course you’re sorry, why wouldn’t you be?” You would have rolled your eyes at the immediate switch up, had you any energy left. “And, as you know, normally I wouldn’t humour you, but well…“ He trails off.

  “Considering we’re having a civilised conversation for once, I might just let it slide!” He was doing a terrible job of pretending to be indifferent to the situation at hand, it’s been a while since you heard him sound this chipper. “I can be gracious, after all. But, well, you’re gonna need to say it again.” You can tell he had gotten really close to the camera, with how the screen only had visibility of his bright blue light “iris”.

  “No reason! No particular reason, it’s just-” You didn’t let him continue.

  “I’m sorry, Wheatley.” If you had to take a guess, he just missed hearing your voice. 

  There was a silence that lasted for a precious short while, a rare moment where he simply stared at you without saying anything. Observing. Absorbing.

  “Good to know you can still do that. Talk, I mean. Had started to think you lost your ability to speak. That can happen sometimes, you know?” For a moment, you could swear he sounded just like you remember him. Trying his best to sound helpful and knowledgeable. Well, you suppose he never lost that habit, just with way more of an ego now.

  “You know what? I just had the best idea.” 

  “Truly an ingenious plan. From now on, you’re going to stay with me. Right here, in my lair.” He put an unnecessary amount of dramatic flair on the last word. “I know, I know, what an honour.” You didn’t particularly want to be in the central AI chamber again, nor did you want to be physically near him, but… Maybe this could work out in your favor. 

  “That was the problem, right? Humans need company, of course. Failiable creatures with their impractical needs.” He sounded a bit too unpreoccupied for someone who was currently messing with the structure of this place, opening up a path for you to follow along. You wished this place would just collapse already. But you have a feeling he wouldn’t let you go even if it did.

   “And that way you won’t need to be going anywhere ever again.”