#making progress on what i want to do with my life id like to stay humble and aim for the postal service

[acornmoment]

I regret making the whole Nut Boi persona. I can't do this anymore. I don't have an ego so I just come across as annoying. I thought being eccentric like some golden age comic book villain would be great for laughs but I'm really only good at one liners.

[gommyworm]

:^}

[seeminglydark]

Idk if this means anything to you but I'm a comic artist who's had a hard time doing art for a few years. The first four was because of life hardship and lack of time/chronic pain, but now lately I've had time but a mental block. I'm creeping up on 30 and felt bad about myself for "missing out" on my opportunity to be a comic artist. It was really validating to see you post about being 41 (correct me if I'm wrong) especially since you have such wonderful comics that I've been following for a while now. It makes me feel less like I'm wasting my time putting my things in order when I "should" be drawing.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as offensive or anything. It was just comforting and validating. Anyway, big fan! Love your characters a whole lot and hope you have a good day!

Dear Anon

I am 41 years old. I have wanted to make comics my entire life. before my dad got sick, and my childhood kinda fell apart, all i did was draw. after that, i used the stories in my head to cope. life moved on. i was convinced not to accept a partial scholarship to an art school in California. life got hard. i worked at a hotel, and after i escaped an abusive relationship at 22 i hitchhiked/bused far far away to start over. i tried to make comics again, but i had to survive, and so i got another job doing the only thing i knew how to do, hotels. and i worked. and worked. and life got harder and times got heavier and i didn't get time to draw and i worked double hours, 15 to 17 hours a day. and i went four years without drawing a single thing.

i kept working myself into the ground. i was 29 now. i picked up a pen again and drew a red haired boy. he had a hard life and no love and no friends. his problems were on the outside, for everyone to see. he ran away but his problems went with him.

i was 32. surely i was too old now. my time to be an artist was gone. i had no school. no hope. i was so far behind the younger gen i saw online. i cried. all the time. i wrote stories in my email drafts while i worked shifts. i stayed up late trying to learn how to draw again. i cried some more. the boy grew. i called him Fiach. worthy. a raven. later i renamed him Avery. he was like a bird, he had wings, he was my hope. i started writing some friends for him. the people i wished i had around me.

i started finding time and space. i got a new job, something where i was lucky enough to set my own hours. for the first time i had a partner who believed in me. things were hard. but i was drawing now. and that helped.

i went on a road trip and i started drawing pages of an unnamed story on 6 by 8 paper in a sketchbook. i drew 20 of them. 'what could i call this?' i thought. Nothing Seems as Dark...no says my partner. Seemingly Dark. he made me a logo. i was 35. i bought an ipad, i cant do this on paper, its too much story i have too much to say. so i learned how to draw digitally by tracing my own trad art pages.

I spoke to my dad for the last time on June 17th, fathers day that year. he said 'you're good. i'm proud. and you're gonna do amazing things. none of this is your fault. and we will speak again soon.' i didn't know id never hear his voice again. he died a week later.

i turned 36. i kept trying. i'm old, i don't understand the internet. how can i share this?

i stumbled across Lore Olympus. i was introduced to webcomics. id read comics online before but the thought never occurred to me. i opened an account on Tapas. and then i stared at it. what if no one likes it. what if its bad. my art isn't good. i should wait til i'm better. but will i ever really be better? or will i always believe that tomorrow is better? do it now. if even one person gets something out of this story, this story about a boy who is you, a boy who looking for hope, a boy who might make it, then that is enough isn't it.

June 17th 2018 i launched Seemingly Dark.

SD's five year anniversary is in a week. 0ver 700 pages. leaps and bounds in progress with my skills. a printed comic under my belt as of monday. i was always a storyteller. but i was always an artist too.

I am 41 years old, dear anon. I did not truly embark on this journey til i was 35. life got in the way. even now, chronic illness gets in the way. but its worth it. its never ever too late. i believe in you the way my dad believed in me. i reset my life again and again. but I was always an artist. and if thats who you are, and who you want to be, even if things dont go the way you wished they could, you're an artist too.

im 41 years old. i speak about my age, even though i often feel too old to belong in spaces, cuz really, in this case age is just a number. take care of yourself. do what you need to do. and little by little, when your able, carve out your space until it becomes more of a habit. sometimes i think about all the years i lost not drawing or creating. but there's a lot of factors that make me believe had i made my story then, it wouldn't be the story it is now, i needed to live a bit. i needed to find myself. i know this was long, but i just wanted you to see i also had to put my life in order, and getting notes like this reminds me it wasnt at all a waste. im glad i could offer you some comfort. thats honestly the best compliment i could ever receive.

TL;dR I was 35 when i sat down and seriously started making comics, because life always got in the way and so did my confidence. i always feared being too old. im 41 now, still going strong.

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Soo this is coming from a headcanon series in development. I got carried away lol. Also, this is taken from my Patreon, so if you want go check it out 🩵 As always, your feedback is appreciated 🩵

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Gojo x Reader

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P l o t ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ He lies in bed and thinks about his latest exorcism. Suddenly, an intense feeling of loneliness struck him, and he decided to call you.

The lamp on the nightstand flickered weakly, casting away the darkness with difficulty. In this dim light, Gojo was staying in his bed, with his legs crossed, one hand under his head and the other resting on his chest, thinking about his recent exorcise. A grade 1 curse spirit was terrorizing the village of Ine, located on the coast in far north Kyoto Prefecture, disturbing not only the marine life but also the people. Its activity became noticed by the Jujutsu Society, and based on people’s descriptions, they sent Gojo to take care of it.

In his opinion, other sorcerers could’ve killed this one easily. He suspects that the higher-ups wanted to get rid of him for a while, as they probably had enough of him, or maybe they plan to do something devious to Yuji again.

As gratitude for getting rid of the village curse, one of the families let him stay overnight in their home. The bed was soft, the food was amazing, and he even got to show off in a fishing competition. The day went smoothly, and he can’t wait to return to Tokyo, to his students, to you…

A soft smile appeared on his face. Even if he was gone for a few days, he already missed you deeply. He doesn’t show his affection very often because your relationship already goes against every principle he has about the life of a jujutsu sorcerer. Yet he can’t help but wonder…what if…

Nah, he is just tired, and even more so that he is beginning to imagine impossible scenarios.

To ease the feeling of loneliness, he picks up the phone and calls you on video. It rings a few times before you finally pick it up. Around you, it’s pitch black, and your phone’s light is illuminating your sleepy, half-lidded eyes.

Stupid. He didn’t realise how late it was.

“Hello…” You didn’t manage to see the caller’s ID, you just answered on instinct. You thought it was something serious if they called so late in the night.

“Hi…did I wake you up.”

The voice was familiar, and you scoffed.

“No, I was in the middle of poker with your students.”

“Really? Please tell me they didn’t lose all their money.”

“Not yet, I had a full house when you called me. Wasted opportunity.”

Gojo chuckled softly.

Before he left, he asked you to take care of his students for him. You were one of the few he trusted, not only because he was in a relationship with you but also because you were strong.

“What’s up? Are you alright?”

You sounded a little concerned. He looked like he needed some sleep. He was pale, had dark circles under his eyes, and he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Yeah, I wanted to check on you, but I didn’t realise how late it is.”

“I see…” you yawned. “Well, we’re ok. We trained today a bit, then we went to eat something. After that, Yuji wanted to see a movie, and we all went with him. It was something  with...worms... guy turned into a worm…”

“Human Earthworm 4?”

You snapped your fingers.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. I didn’t understand his hype about it, but maybe I’m getting old. Anyway, they are making progress. Yuji is very happy when we learn about techniques and curse energy, Nobara catches on quickly, and Megumi is edgy as usual.”

“I don’t know where he got that.” Gojo chuckled again.

You could see him relax as he heard about his students, so you kept on talking. His face would become brighter, and his eyes would shine with joy and pride.

“Yuji is safe, don’t worry.” You said, knowing well, that was one of the reasons he called. You were also aware of the vicious intentions that the higher-ups held.

“Everyone is safe. But you didn’t tell me about you. How was the exorcism? And where are you, by the way?”

“Some people invited me to stay overnight as a sign of gratitude for getting rid of the curse. And the job went smoothly. I mean, they sent me, what did you expect?"

You scoffed at how arrogant he was, but at least he was in a better mood.

“Ey Gojo, stop being so arrogant, would you? One of these days, your presence alone won’t be enough. You need to be more humble.”

“That day is very far.” He chuckled. “But I can’t say I enjoy the loneliness, though.”

“I know… it will work out eventually.”

A short pause followed, in which he moved his gaze away from the camera to the room he was in. It was quiet; the lamp stopped flickering, casting shadows on the wall. Through the open balcony, there was a breeze that kept shifting the curtains left and right, creating a tranquil atmosphere that he wished could be shared.

“Wish you were here with me, tho. The moon is nice.” He said it without realizing it as he watched the full moon through the open balcony. Then he took a pause.

He already feels guilty for letting you watch the students, and he also feels guilty for pulling you into his chaotic life. But again, there are few people he can trust, so he doesn’t have much choice, right?

This thinking process was done in total silence, as you didn’t say a word. But you couldn’t help smiling, as it was another confirmation for you. Gojo cared about you, but he was afraid of showing it. Who can blame him?

“I figured..." another pause. “The feeling is mutual.”

Gojo shifted in bed, trying to figure out what to say next.

“Maybe we can come back to the village one day and show me the surroundings since you seem to get along with the locals. Exorcise a curse or two on the way.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He smiled as he stared at the camera in his new position.

“Listen, it’s getting late."

“I know, I’ll let you sleep. Talk tomorrow. Text me when you wake up.”

“Sure…Good night, Gojo.”

“‘Night, Y/N.”

He tossed the phone on the bed and rubbed his face as he groaned.

He doesn’t show it, but he is scared about his feelings for you as they grow stronger each day. You manage to ease his loneliness, something that only one person was able to do before you, and it didn’t end well. What will happen if he starts to love you...? Can it be different? Can he get rid of this curse? Even if he is the strongest, he feels so powerless in front of...

“Damn it… it’s late; I should sleep too.”

He closed his eyes and quickly drifted into the land of dreams and endless possibilities, as the room wasn’t that dark anymore and the air also became warmer.

[someone-always-cares]

Progress update

Edit: laptop broke (hard drive issue), so thing will either be delayed a week or A Lot depending if my shit is recoverable. Back up your files regularly yall

Realised I should probably update yall on how things are going! Things are almost ready, just need to stich the book together together and finish a couple things, then I can order a sample of the book. I don't want to start the kickstarter until I have a book sample in hand that I'm happy with.

Admittedly looking like my original timeline isn't quite going to fit but such is life. its a close enough timeline so im not too annoyed just not in time to advertise it this weekend

to thank yall for your patience with this, here a sneak peek of the stickersheets made because I'm very happy with them and also because I just approved the proofs the manu sent me for those samples:

disclaimer: colours may vary depending on how the samples turn out (converting rgb to cmyk, my beloathed).

[id: two stickersheets, one of characters from chapter 1, and the other chapter two: chapter 1 sheets has: rami (civilian clothes), his whole team, tsunami, inkmaster, swarm, sound flood, and mori. as well as some smaller stickers: a sparkling wave, rami's logo, two diamond shaped sparkles, a small fireball, swarm's butterly, and three hearts with the ace, trans, and rainbow pride flags. chapter 2 sheet has: lewis and sound flood (both in civilian clothes), iris, faete, mindforce, and omen (super costumes). also several smaller stickers: mindforce's eye, a yellow and pink rose, a snowdrop, faete's sword, iris's notebook (with the words "stay safe"), a starry sky with city view, rami's hand holding a rose, and 5 blue pink and white hearts. end id]

also here's the cover (minus the blurb)

[id: image of the cover design, layed flat. aka the front cover is on the right side, back on the left, and the spin inbetween. designed to look like a corkboard with photos pinned to it, and red sring connecting things. on the back there are photos that are from various panels in chapter 1 and 2 (redrawn, specifically faete after transforming, cam readying her forcefield, lewis on the roof, and tsunami riding his wave. the back also contains enamel pins: a trans flag, an ace flag, and mindforce's eye. as well as the corner of a missing persons poster, a business card for "cullen's bowls 'n' bowls", and a blank sheet of notebook paper where the blurb should be. the spine has some starry washi tape with the title written on. the front has a piece of blue paper torn off at the end with the title on it, and stickers of a silver star and rami's logo. below is a large image of rami sitting in the water staring intestly at the viewer, light emerging behind him. around him, hands all strech out towards him, hands belonging to the significant character significant in chapters 1 and 2 of sac. end id]

so specifically what is left (no particular order):

spellchecking

adding page numbers to the bottom

finishing the rest of the not comic pages (aka the thank you note, about the author, deciation and the bit where im going to add names of people who pledged to the kickstarter) 75% done

character bios (admittedly optional i just want to do them)

bonus pages for art and sketches (i have collected all the art and sketches, its just deciding which ones to ue and which ones to save for next time because it makes more sense to put them with the more spoilery chapters 3-5 specific arts)

assembling these and sending a sample off to print

actually starting the kickstarter (once i have decived book sample back and am happy. i am not starting it without knowing 100% that i can fufill it right then and there)

(in the intrest of transperency: while these are all easy and mostly quick (aside from character bios. havent started that one yet), i also have some upcomign events that will have to take priority. that being a convention this weekend, next weekend, and my sisters wedding the weekend after (and the wedding gift, which is custom artwork of my sister and future brother in law. like a wedding painted but not on the day and also digital. so that will take up a bit of time after [another reason i wanted to get this done before then but ah well])

for real though one day i hope to be able to do art stuff full time because i am. so tired of doing a day job

also also there are versions of lewis and rami stickers in super outfits, they'll be seperate stickers

[id: drawings of lewis and rami, same as the stickers in the sheets, just seperate and in different outfits, the drawings have been placed close together, so it looks like thye're holding hands. end id]

you can make them hold hands :)

[nijigasakilove]

I’ll never be the same after watching this show. The way these girls have altered my life’s story won’t be forgotten. Called it AOTS from episode 1 and it firmly stayed that way throughout. What a special anime and group of girls. Thank you Yaku sensei and Doga Kobo for this masterclass.

Kano overcoming her past and fear by delivering the performance of a lifetime was so beautiful to see. That wouldn’t have been possible without Mero telling her to look forward at the “aquarium” art Kano built on the buildings was such a great scene.

So many people, myself included thought Mahiru was snakey for working with Yukine, but it ended up being the best possible gift for Kano and the others. I just wish we would’ve been able to see more of the performance :/ we all know how good Doga Kobo can do idol performances.

That escalator reunion scene with Mahiru and Kano was everything to me. Them going in opposite directions initially before linking up was basically their relationship summed up. And Kano finally found her reason for singing! I love love love how it progressed from having no reason to sing, to Mahiru being the reason, to wanting to bring joy to peoples’ lives and help people who were lost like she was move forward.

In some more cliche stories, they would’ve kept it with the simple “I sing for you”, but that’s not really sustainable long term. You have to do things you enjoy for you.

Yukine finally acknowledging Kano as who she really is brought tears to my eyes man. All she wanted her entire life was to live up to her mom’s standards and make her happy. She also fulfilled her promise of selling out Tokyo dome with the number of live viewers 😭 I can’t man this was amazing. It’s so Yukine to not give a direct apology with words, but with her actions.

“Graduation” is a fitting literal and metaphorical way to end the episode. Everyone finally moving past their trauma and insecurities and just starting a new phase of life. Yukine showing up to Kano’s graduation and congratulating her was so sweet. I’m happy for them.

Mei trying to lift her skirt up for the farewell video got me dying 💀 she so slow man.

Is that Mahiru’s dad?!! Wow this was a perfect ending for everyone man. I don’t get the “rushed” complaints. Everything that needed to be wrapped up and addressed got addressed. And there’s still the LN for anything else. We will be reading.

Review: https://myanimelist.net/reviews.php?id=528446

[pillarofna]

alright! recap of the last 3 hours. tldr neighbor got arrested for five felony charges and almost killed her husband 👍

so. shes been getting bad the past few days (saying stuff like “i dont give a FUCK how you feel” and “i wish you would just drop dead” to her husband, that sort of thing) and apparently she had another violent outburst and she left the apartment. so i went over to talk to him and see what was up to see if he was ok (he has terminal heart failure so like. i wanted to check on him)

while im there suddenly theres a POUNDING on the door, non stop, really angry knocking over and over. he tries to say like “what do you want” to her through the door but she doesnt stop. he tells me “just open the door before she gets more violent and breaks a window” so im like you know yeah ok. im scared as fuck but yeah so she gets angry at me and tells me to leave im like Yep was planning on it 👍 but her husband told me he didnt feel safe alone with her.

she starts screaming at him saying a lot of really irrational things and hes just like “look, what can i do to make it so we can talk like adults” and that sets her off. by this point i was standing outside the door to their apartment (he was in the doorway) and hes just like “should i call the cops??” because we both have peaceful contact restraining orders and she was in a place where it was likely shed get physically violent. i tell him look if youre afraid for your safety (which with her history he had every right to be) then id call them. shes still screaming the whole time this is happening too

i pull up the number for the police dept just in case, and as im doing that she grabs him, throws him inside, and slams the door shut behind them and i hear loud thumps like someone being thrown against the wall. im already on the phone with dispatch at this point because she Has tried to kill him in the past, and i hear him screaming “DYLAN HELP ME! HELP!!!” like ive never heard him sound so fearful before. i tell dispatch “i have to go in there and see if hes ok” and they tell me to stay outside and stay on the line

they send someone out, i hear more thumping, i’m feeling terrible because it’s likely she’s beating the shit out of him (i know what that sounds like cuz ive seen her do it before.) and, after this was all over, he told me she slammed him into the wall, threw him on the ground, kicked him in the head, and then tried to strangle him with two hands (he had the marks around his neck, too). he said he almost passed out but thats when the police knocked and she answered the door and went outside and i heard her be all “why are you here i didnt do anything” and this whole time im texting her husband and calling him and not getting a response so i was genuinely worried she killed or seriously injured him.

so they start questioning her, she starts getting progressively more defensive and aggressive, and once she asks “can i talk to him?” the cops say no, and she starts SCREAMING. when i say i have never heard someone scream like this in my life…. it was awful. she was screaming at full volume just like a bloodcurdling scream, over and over and over for 20 minutes while the cops are trying to get her in the car. i hear the cops say “stop kicking” and “stop resisting arrest” over and over and she starts saying things like “FUCK YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH IM GOING TO KILL YOU IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU” to the cops…… anyway.

so! she was arrested for five felony counts. 1) domestic violence, 2) violation of a court restraining order, 3) resisting arrest, 4) criminal threat, and 5) harm to officers. and depending on the situation she might be charged for attempted murder.

i felt bad about calling the cops at first because i was like “what if she really didnt do anything” but knowing she tried to kill him… i feel worse that i didnt go inside when he screamed for help but i honestly now think she would have tried to hurt me too and it’s better i called when i did. especially since the only thing that saved his life was the police knocking on their door when they did.

sooo she’s going to be in prison for probably at LEAST ten years. maybe upwards of 25 depending on what they do charge her with…. my god. anyway that was my night :)

[kozykricket]

big vent addendum

i could do many things. i have potential and ideas and i have the power to do what i wanna do if i just try but agh

is it just that i get either tired or anxious whenever i think about actually fucking doing something? because... maybe... because i see myself as someone who just cant do anything that i want to do, who sits on the sidelines, in the spectator seats of my own life. and i think theres a strong part of my brain that wants that to still be the case, and doesnt want to be proven wrong. doesnt want to actually try to make things becauswe that would mean i ... actually CAN do things... which. is almost scary maybe?? because then theres so much to do... and i just. mm. i dont wanna... do ... things..... yes theres many things id love to do, to create. but i just would rather stay content as i am , i think. because its safe and comfortable, and i am someone who wants to just wallow in my comfort zone about how everyone is making progress towards making shit but im not making shit . i know i know everyone goes at their own pace. but im sick of waiting for some perfect time to finally start like. doing shit i want to make a game, to write more on basic OC concepts, to try out creating music, to learn to mod other games. to . even just write more fleshed out concepts for said mods i mean not to say i havent written pretty neat concepts for things like ... pokemon AUs lol. and ive written a decent amount for an oc or two . but. not that much that feels coherent im just ... very stuck and . i think that relates back to theres too many directions to take an idea. like my Game Idea. which has lots of ways to take it. and yes i know i could ... try out one direction and if it doesnt work out then i could just go backwards but as soon as i take one step in a specific direction, i just wanna step backwards and go the other direction. back and forth. ughhh

[meatsex]

This may be odd to say. But it is clear (to me!!) that you care about the sauce boss a lot in your art and find a lot of comfort in who he is. The way you draw his eyes & hair specifically really calls to your attention to detail that's present in all of your art. It doesn't come across as parasocial in the slightest either - you just genuinely like what he does and play with the idea of the dude and aren't weird about his personal life. Idk maybe I'm not making sense but it's nice to see.

Also, your art really does reflect the same type of feelings as Sachiko Kaneoya's captures, in my opinion. Your use of line work and shadows also speaks to the ukiyo-e prints of the Edo period of Japan, though I'm not sure if that's intentional!! Specifically, the Takiyasha the Witch print is what the shadowing reminds me of.

Lastly, the dedication to your projects and work as a whole is so impressive. I've been here for a while following your art and watching the progress has been so cool. Your colors have become a little more cohesive and pull pieces together - they always have, but the grasp on color theory is clear there. Seeing that you're going to college to pursue what you put so much work into is the dream and I really hope it works out!!

I'm so sorry for how long this is and if it's weird, absolutely don't feel the need to respond especially since you can't shorten the post and I can't get it under a readmore. I also understand that having an anonymous person do a mini-tour and discussion of your art could be uhh possibly odd. If anything, keep being cool and doing what you love!!! It's awesome!!!!

hey, thank you for such a nice indepth message and analysis on my work, i promise it really isnt weird or at the very least any weirder than other messages ive got LOL

thank you for appreciating my art of vincent, i usually mention this but a lot of times i mostly draw inspired by his music rather than him as an internet personality which is why i end up making these edgy pieces but in general he does mean a lot to me in the most normal appreciate way possible both as a musician and as a streamer, i try not to streamline the way i draw him too much so im glad the small details are noticeable

i can confirm i get inspired (and always have been honesly) by kaneoya sachiko's works if it wasnt obvious enough but i am also happy to hear that i can give off a similar vibe, not because i want to give off the exact specific vibes of her artwork but rather some of similar tones and types; as for the other thing that actually isnt on purpose, id have to look into artwork from that period but thats one hell of a compliment tbh

im really happy to hear that you have been around for a while, i cannot know since when but either way it means a lot that someone would take the time to not just point out my improvement but also to just stay around because they like what i do, i personally feel like ive improved especially in colors like you mentioned but its always better and helpful to hear it from someone else too, i hope that with college i can become better at art too

in any case thank you again for taking the time to send such a positive thought-out message, i dont want to repeat in-depth but it really is and it means the world to me that you took the time to send it and i promise its not weird at all

[cartyrs]

How do you feel as a CielDoll shipper with recent chapters

this just reminded me that a new chapter is out and i just read it and i'm in the brain dimension. throwing this ask under a readmore bc it got long but it basically just sums up my opinions on the series as a whole rn:

my feelings on kuroshit have been complicated the past few years ngl! more than anything i'm very frustrated with how the story's been paced since the twin reveal, and i've found it very hard to stay engaged as a fan with how slow things are progressing. but that's also not what you asked so i won't rant about that LOL

I have very mixed feelings on this current arc - it's what finally got me back into reading bc DOLL! MY FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER! IS HERE AND I WAS RIGHT THAT SHE'D BE RELEVANT AGAIN!!! I'd really, really like it if Doll lives past this arc and is able to confront Ciel again. I think I might actually drop the series entirely if she dies here because it feels very pointless to me after all these years to bring her back if her whole point was just to [207 spoilers]. I'm really interested to see Ciel's reaction to her rebirth, esp if after coming clean about his true identity that he's able to be honest about the guilt he harbors over killing her. (SINCE YANA PUT DOLL AND JOKER IN THE SAME PANEL AS MADAM RED, CIELS PARENTS, AND R!CIEL IN CH 100, OVER 70 CHAPTERS AFTER NOAHS CIRCUS, ID GO CRAZY IF IT DIDNT MEAN ANYTHING)

I've always seen Doll as being one of if not the most significant character into understanding Ciel - his sympathy for her in Noah's Arc shows that despite how emphatic he is that he's forgone his soul, he does still care about people underneath it all. I'm pretty sure Yana's even said that if circumstances had been different (plot wise and also wealth wise), they could have been really good friends. I think Doll as a foil for Ciel reveals a lot about him - the biggest being her double-identity and reveal, as well as her playful, childish side vs. her cold, killing side (which even then, Doll doesn't want to kill - she just has to. I think deep down, Ciel is the same way). Same with Doll discovering Ciel's brand and having that empathetic moment with him over it, they don't go too deeply on it but Doll's backstory prior to living on the street is that she was abused by her parents and they scarred her face. She knows better than anyone else in the story what that permanent mark of abuse means for Ciel, and that's why she's so sorry she accidentally exposed his brand.

I've never shipped Doll/Ciel in a "canon" sense (like it just wouldn't make that much sense post-doll's "death", she despises him for killing her family, and after knowing what the circus did, she's nothing but a child kidnapper to him, criminal scum that's not worth anything). Their dynamic to me is so much about the "what if things had gone differently?" - which I also apply to Ciel's other friendships, particularly with Soma, Lizzy, and Alois (though season 2 is it's whole own discussion LOL). So much of Ciel's characater arc is about how he was willing to throw his own life and soul away thinking he had nothing after his parent's and r!ciel's deaths, as well as his own disgrace, but kuroshitsuji has shown us time and time again that there are people who deeply love and care about ciel, and if things had been different, if he hadn't sold his soul to the literal devil, he could have lived for them. i love Doll for him in this regard, because she's someone who doesn't know what happened to him. I think a big crux to Ciel's relationship with Lizzy (ignoring the incest aspect because of the period accuracy, but also because of the incest aspect I obviously do not ship them in a romantic sense) is that she knows more than most people about what happened to Ciel and his family, and that humiliates him. Pity and vulnerability humiliate him. This is a huge reason why he can't be honest with Lizzy about what happened - he doesn't want her pity, it only makes his reality that much worse. When he meets Doll, she's a stranger. And despite knowing nothing about him, she worms her way in and tries at every angle to befriend him. Also, given that his betrothal to Lizzy was by force (esp with how he steals her actual fiancees identity lol), I think if Ciel had been able to choose his own partner, he might have chosen someone like Doll.

ANYWAY - that's why I'll be really disappointed if they don't reunite at some point. I have some vague hope, since this is the last of the servant's arcs, maybe we'll get back to Ciel soon and Doll will get the confrontation she deserves. I actually really wasn't expecting [207 spoiler], that changes a lot for the character dynamics in this arc. I unfortunately haven't been a huge fan of Doll's actions in this arc, it feels horrifically out of character for me to believe that after her moral values are laid explicitly clear in circus arc (she feels guilty for kidnapping children and doesnt want to do it, but fears her older siblings retribution and fears Kelvin and feels an obligation to keep her family safe above all else), that she'd be willing to both make connections with the children at this orphanage as well as let them be used to keep her body alive... for what? To kill Ciel? Obviously she was brought back by Undertaker, but I doubt that Undertaker's true intentions are to kill Ciel, given how important the Phantomhives are to him (I think he's probably way more after Sebastian, but that's another thing entirely). So, why did Undertaker bring her back at all? Why is it Snake and Finny that find her, and not Ciel? Her personality once Snake and Finny discover the truth too is just all over the place, I don't particularly buy it.

I've felt that Yana's writing has seemed rushed and lazy since the twin reveal, whether it's her shifting her focus onto TWST, or that she's just trying to wrap up the series as fast as she can, while also still attempting to churn out monthly chapters (if you compare recent kuroshit volumes to old ones, old volumes had maybe 4-5 chapters, while new ones fit about 10 chapters at the same pagecount, so it's also waaay shorter chapters each month that don't quite move the story along). It's obvious to me that now that R!Ciel is out of the bag, the servant chapters have been a way for Yana to finally write plotpoints that she's had on the backburner since early on in the series (Meyrin, Bard, and Snake's backstories) - but IMO, terribly integrated. Finnys backstory in witch-arc is still some of my favorite parts of the series - because the arc itself is incredibly written, and Finny being highlighted fit in so well. It feels like with these mini arcs that Yana's just like oh shit what kind of plot should X servant's backstory come up in, and none of the newer plots/characters have felt deserved (i.e. the maids in meyrin/ran mao's story). Same thing goes for the characters in this arc, the children dressed like the phantomhive servants are just so weird and out of place to me. Why is this a thing??? An orphanage dedicated to making children act like ciel and sebastian and others and then sacrificing them as blood for Doll????? Why???? The whole scenario is weak and far-fetched IMO, I would've rather Doll's reentry (as well as Meyrin/Bard/Snakes backstories) been introduced in a more natural way, it genuinely feels like Yana is throwing all her cards on the table to wrap the series up without any loose strings.

SO, I don't have like, a TON of hope for Ciel and Doll's story to be wrapped up in a way I personally find satisfying for their character arcs, I'm vaguely hopeful that they'll at least just meet again, but as you can read I've had very mixed feelings on the direction that the series has taken for years now (servant backstory arc has been going on since MARCH 2019 LMAO..), so I'm sorry that your very simple question turned into a rant HAHA but this is like, the crux of my relationship with Kuroshitsuji atm.

Kuroshit has had its fair share of problems, many of which I'll be the first person to go out of my way to critique. I've been able to rationalize being a fan by touting just how good the manga's story is. Nowadays, really not so sure I can stand by that opinion! However, Doll's also like... is The character of all time for me. I've even been contemplating getting her tattooed lately LOL. So, regardless of the direction the series takes, even if it just absolutely tanks, she'll always remain incredibly special to me, as will Ciel and all the characters I've loved over the years.

[renarots]

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

tagged by @solaireverie

thanks pookie <3

1. Who or what got you into F1?

i grew up in a pretty big nascar family, my family would put it on the tv instead of watching the kids and natural progression i fell in love with motorsports. i do think a combination of seeing the tooned cartoon and me being fascinated by the engineering in the cars dragged me fully into f1.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

for me it was fernando alonso and jenson button. although jenson is retired i still watch him in his other series like nascar. i still support fernando as well although i feel like it passed the torch on to lando when he was the reserve for mclaren and then later took the seat at mclaren. if you cant tell im a huge mclaren girl.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

lando norris and yuki tsunoda, cant pick one but yeah theyre my ultimate pookies 🫶

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

my biggest driver pairing right now is lando and oscar, i think their pairing is what lando needed and what oscar needed and theyve already shown they push eachother so i cant wait for this season. my ultimate that i think about is fernando and mark tho, theyre my roman empire. from them always misisng eachother as teammates and then the infamous abu dhabi 2010. i could go on an essay about them (as a treat i also love nando and jenson)

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite driver?

no but i did get my friends and their cats into it. one of them is a ferrari fan and the other is a mclaren girl more leaning towards op81 but im gonna make her an ln4 girl soon. her cats are both mclaren cats but one only loves lando, she legit gets disinterested when someone else is on screen. one time she literally followed landos car off screen and my friend didnt even know that was lando so she was surprised her cat caught on to him.

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

i know i mentioned it before but abu dhabi 2010 is definitely one i watch a lot. 2020 austrian gp as well, even tho lando got the podium cause of disqualification it still holds a special place in my heart. Runner ups are silverstone 2023 and Abu Dhabi 2023 where pookies lead the race for a period of time.

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

singapore is lovely, silverstone because of this year with lando leading the gp just really put it up there, and i think interlagos always has me excited, even if mclaren has a bad track record with it (please get your shit together for quali guys)

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

ive never been to one theyre too expensive in america to go to one but i have been to a couple nascar races and those were so lovely. im hoping to take my friends and i to the suzuka gp next year tho (its so much cheaper please f1 sort your shitty pricing please)

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

no and id rather melt into the floor than meet one

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

i think the rb19 (rocky) has to be my fave rn if you asked me a year ago i would say otherwise but from an engineering standpoint rocky is the most beautiful piece of machinery ive laid my eyes on (excluding my beautiful b&m rollercoasters of course (my first love fr))

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

not really tbh

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

"i nearly said i wouldnt want to be married to him but obviously i- im happily married to a lady but" -mark webber (🫵🏳️‍🌈❓)

"who is the blind guy in the alpha tauri?" -fernando alonso (even tho it was against yuki it was so funny from this years radios)

"soy lago" -lando norris (i miss carlando guys)

"fernando is faster than you" -rob smedley

realised thats a lot of fernando related quotes but oh well 🤷‍♀️

🏷️ <3

@dumbf1sketches @formulafics @disneyprincemuke @lovewithmary @piasstrisblog @bekaillustrates @honeyhobbs and anyone who would like to participate

[exmeowstic]

hii bastion !! can i pls ask to learn more abt ur ship with graha ? :o is ur insert the wol, or some other role in ffxiv, what were ur first impressions of each other and how/when did they shift into smth more? (u dont have to answer all of these, im just shooting questions out !) id love to learn more!! (@dmclr)

HIHII I HOPE YOUVE BEEN WELL <33 ive been dead from work but i finally managed to type out words from my brain. readmore bc its more than i expected and im embawassed a bit 👉👈 (also obligatory warning for spoilers thru endwalker)

SO. MY WOL AND GRAHA. truthfully,, there is still a lot of thinking to be done in terms of my s/i bastion and how things play out for him/how he fits into the story/how he acts and thinks and feels about things! esp as i approach the end of endwalker, it seems like dawntrail mighttt give me a bit more breathing room to actually think abt stuff

i do have him as the wol, i just feel like theres a lot i kinda missed out on/would like to review bc i Tunnel Vision Focused on msq to the exclusion of almost all else lol (and it doesnt help that my progression thru msq had been Very on and off until now bc i would put the game down for months due to social anxiety. frankly anytjing before like. mid stormblood is a biiiit of a blur)

though its extremely funny because i think during the crystal tower questline first meeting graha he did not make. a Particularly Big Impression on me. i was just like "oh cool another friend!" and then moved on once that was wrapped up and he kind of stayed in that default area of "nice new friend" that 99% of people fall into for bastion for a while..

AND THEN SHADOWBRINGERS HAPPENED. (admittedly i did go in pre-spoiled on the exarchs identity long before i even properly got into the game period, but just Knowing the thing and playing through it all myself are two Completely Different Feelings imo and everything about the reveal and the expansion just wrecked me it was so goodddd!!!) this is where i became crazy in the head about graha and started truly thinking abt him and bastions relationship specifically...

mm like i said i am still very much thinking about/putting pieces in place regarding bastions feelings and relationships with various characters and things, but as of endwalker things are in a weird spot with him and graha :3 specifially in the way of like... bastion is having a hard enough time just trying to come to terms with the fact that he has any sort of feelings for graha (or anyone, really) in the first place.

with the amount of things that happen to/around/because of him, he kind of blames anything happening to anyone around him on the fact That he is around, and is. overly worried with the idea that the people he cares about may get hurt because they get caught up in the mess that is His Entire Life. as much as he wants to spend more time with graha and just go on adventures with him and Not Worry, it all sits very heavily in the back of his mind.

that being said, while theyre definitely still dancing around the finer points of their feelings through endwalker, bastion and graha are undeniably close. there is no way bastion could see that an old friend waited and hoped and worked for an entire century for the sake of him and his future and Not try to match that dedication. bastion wouldnt say hes in love if you asked him, but he would say hes determined to do everything in his power to fulfill his promise to graha, to stay by his side through adventure after adventure and see the world as soon as theyre able.

on grahas side it probably seems like hes had. a Lot more time to think about things, but in truth i think hes still very much putting together the pieces. between all but abandoning who he was for a hundred years to take on the role of exarch, and then getting his soul and everything merged into his old body in the source and having to process all that, especially when he was so sure he was gonna sacrifice himself during shb and wasnt really planning on surviving up until now its. it makes me ill to think abt everything hes been through. so for sure he is also still working through his feelings. even if theyre both in a weird uncertain position about it as of right now, they both know for certain that they would like to stay by each others side.. we will have to see where dawntrail takes them ^_^

tldr lotta stuff is happening right now for the both of them so my wol and graha are not 100% a thing yet. though i can certainly think about them kising catboy yaoi style <3

bonus Image Of Them if you read this far i thank you for your time <333

[brucespringsteen]

Hi, do you have any beginner tips for lifting/getting into the gym? I no longer want to be a scrawny waifish butch and instead wanna be able to pick up my gf and look like mid 80s Bruce… If you’re comfortable talking about it I’d love to hear if you have any tips… I’ve been researching and have learned that diet is a huge part in building muscle but as far as the gym goes I’m lost… I’m honestly mostly just nervous because I have no clue where to start and don’t want some dude to help me (nothing wrong honest help I’m just shy and get embarrassed)… Thank you!!!

hi king 🤝🏻

im so happy 2 talk about this cos im in my musclebound era again

disclaimer what i know is a mix of what i learned from my dad and reddit threads LOL and my own trial and error. weightlifting really is the gayass journey of all time 💪🏼😋

first gonna keep it real with u ive lost a lot of muscle mass from stupid life events n being sad lol but im actually getting back into a routine for the first time in over a year. so i haven't properly lifted anything heavier than the 15lbs dumbells i got at home 😂 when i was once able to press more than my weight ✊🏼😔 BUT form is so much more important than lifting heavy. u will get better results lifting at a weight that you can control and build up lifting heavier over time 👍🏼 which i can go more in depth about how to do that. good form is so sexy and makes u feel and look so badass

u might find more eloquent lifters out there who talk about the mind and muscle connection and visualization. it's really cool stuff that connects practicing mindfulness as u workout which is what makes weightlifting so meditative to me. this will also help u maintain good form and i think nourishes a healthy mindset toward working out/yourself in general

n you are definitely right about diet playing a huge part. don't worry about bulking/cutting when ur first starting out, most important thing is making sure you're getting enough protein. if u are iron deficient i would look into taking a supplement! dont know all the science but iron keeps ur oxygen flowing better, so your stamina can be down if ur iron count is low. my mindset about diet is the simpler the better and u should never be miserable lol. i will never give up beer & pizza & a good time 🫡

second most important thing is sleep. make sure u get enough.

1. back/shoulders and biceps

going to the gym can be a little scary, but that's where having a routine helps so much 🧑‍💻doing one of those dynamic workout routines u find on an instagram reel every now and then can be fun and i recommend it. BUT doing a random workout Everytime u workout will make it difficult to see results. doing the same workouts is how u can see ur progression better and focus on good form. im talking about learning the basics of benching, squatting, and deadlifting. 😜✌🏼

if u can, i would aim a routine of 3-4 times a week. I kept it like this:

2. leg day and abs

3. chest and triceps

what helped in staying consistent w going to the gym was having a set time where i would go. ritualistic

4th extra day: fun cardio like interval training or boxing. OR if i was feeling like i just needed a chill day a slow incline walk on treadmill/outside😊 then do some really intense stretching/foam rolling

here is an example of a chest/tris day

The 3 "T's" stand for tiers starting with the most difficult exercises, so I could use most of the energy I have on it.

To elaborate further on how to see progress: say this week you're able to bench press 60lbs. Next week you try 70lbs on your last rep and it's kinda hard. The third week, you bench 60lbs again, and it feels a little easier now. The fourth week, you're benching 70lbs on your last two sets. By the fifth week, you find you're able to do your entire workout with 70! Etc repeat etc

when i first started i kept one of those tiny composition books w different workouts and id also keep track of how much i was lifting when i reached a new pr/mile time/etc. u can also just keep this in ur notes app. but i found having the paper in front of me was more efficient than continuously looking at my phone and fighting the urge to check apps in between sets lol. also if i was getting texts id have No Idea which just helped me reinforce the gym was Me Time

before u buy into a gym membership tho, take advantage if they have a free trial. u can find what time is least busy/if the vibe fits for u.

another tip. put a photo 1985 bruce on ur wall trust me this will help.

I can go more indepth about specific workouts or if u got other questions, lmk!

U got this!

[quackitytheduck]

about the qsmp gotg au: I'm listening, do you mayhaps want to elaborate 😁

ngl i JUST had the split second thought while listening to dog days are over (fatm) so my thoughts are still in progress BUT rn im trying to connect character arcs to determine who should take whose place

at first i was thinking quacky as peter q bc. well. im a quackity main. and then i wondered how i could fit tilín into that and my thought process for that kinda ended there. but i was still stuck on quacky and then i thought of gamora and he actually fits her arc more plus i like fem coding quackity's characters. then i was thinking maybe tilín as nebula? theyd have to have an ever so slightly diff relationship but i could make it work, maybe el pato or cucurucho as thanos OH WAIT MAYBE CUCURUCHO AS RONAN so that would put el pato as thanos and then i was thinking how would i get elq in here maybe he could be nebula and THEN i thought what if i split nebula into 2 characters so i could have qq elq and tilín all under thanos at some point but then qq escaped w tilín but elq stayed working under thanos and took back tilín at some point so that could give qq that good good grief arc!! and then well there's the obvious memory loss which would fit in perfectly with both arcs!!

and then i got to peter q and who has a backstory of being taken from their home and growing up in a hostile and violent environment. boom cellbit ez. but does the backstory or personality matter more?? so i had a character w a good backstory but who didn't have peter's wit although he had his heart and charm like that. and i dont wanna say who i thought of but let's just say his charm comes from being a musician. but i didnt want him i wanted literally anyone other than him so now im stuck on that

and then i was thinking what if starmora luckity. luzu the angstlord (+ arin) as gamora and then maybe i could take some of c!quacky's sarcasm and put it into this au but that would take away from it being a qsmp au

and now im trying to veer away from my quacky centric tendencies and go back to qcell as quill and then bagi as maybe a mantis type figure who was introduced in vol 2 w ego, and i think that could work with bagi having been on the island (ego (planet)) much longer than cellbit and i feel like im missing some piece of lore here i feel like im getting this backstory wrong but icr. and i know bagi isnt loyal to the feds in any way so i think she's been trying to escape the planet her whole life and always failed. idk who ego would be idk some kind of fed rep. id like pol to be there too if in this version ego is fed affiliated i want pol to be a reluctant employee on the planet w bagi. tbh idk what their canon relationship is or if theyve even met yet but i think it would be a cool new dynamic. wait shit icr if pol's lore is that he's pro fed or not i dont think he is but i can NOT rmbr rn. anyway i like this version w mystery twins a lot tbh i might just take this one and run w it

to summarize:

quackity gamora w tilín/elq nebula, cucurucho ronan, el pato thanos

quackity quill w luzu gamora

⭐️ cellbit quill w bagi mantis-ish

foolish drax!! and maybe two eggs as rocket and groot

or rocket as an egg and the high evolutionary as el pato/the fed w all the other experiments as eggs too!!

[aestheticvoyage2024]

Day 195: Saturday July 13, 2024 - "Quiet Nights On Rialto"

The car was rented and the permit in place for me to be spending this Saturday night out on Rialto, but the bags weren't packed and the last thing any of us needed was a stressed out sideways misadventure. And so I did the grown up thing - I pulled it. I stayed home, I rested - a full two hour afternoon nap, thanks to Audrie, I packed slowly, I helped around the house, made dinner, and an evening fire. I made a conscious decision to not pout or poo one bit about the slight change in plays - as badly as I wanted to be mad at work - I knew that was a deflection to my own doing too. Just let it be and ok with it, I told myself immediately on Friday night. And with that positive attitude, I had a productive restful day, and I am ready to go get after it tomorrow.

And in the reflection of this being the painfully right call, an insight came to me about all those nice quiet nights out on Rialto, in self reflection, were about hoping for and striving for exactly this. Those nights led me here. And while I had traded the view of sunset over the pacific and a driftwood fire in, the return on that trade was equally as beautiful. A quiet night at home with my family. And I can imagine, that old aesthetic cowboy, sitting out there in the salts of time, affirming my decision. "Id rather being doing that right now" I am sure I would catch myself thinking. And We'll go, some time soon now, I promise - with him in tow, to see those tidepools and join me at that fire. And I can be thankful for the important places like Rialto, that can take us back into their folds in our memory and remind us what is most valuable....everything I ever wanted then, is sitting right here, with a fire in my own blessed backyard. And the game is to continue to see it, and continue to look for it. Those reminders are there, outside the grind.

Song: Mikey Mike - Cooler

Quote: “The hardest thing in the world is to simplify your life. It’s so easy to make it complex...what is important is to lead an examined life.” Yvon Chounaird

“In response to people saying “you can’t go back,” I say, “Well what happens if you get to the cliff and you take one step forward? Or, do you do a 180° turn and take one step forward?” Which way are you going? Which way is progress? The solution to many of the world’s problems is to turn around and take a step forward. You can’t keep going trying to make a flawed system work.” -Doug Tompkins

[nicegaai]

having nor/ice thoughtssssssssssssss sad sad whiny kitty cat noises. wahhhh. im thinking about them wahhhhhhhh. WAHHH

what if i took all my small canonverse ideas and compiled them into ONESHOTSSSSS........................................ and what if they were CHRONOLOGICALLY ARRANGED ..... and showed RELATIONSHIP PROGRESSION over the course of 1000 years ...... and it wasnt that deep but i pretended it was and called it something like "i was meant to keep you warm" because i love to steal fox/i/ng lyrics. maybe even id find a way to make this a 5 times + 1 time format.

if i can wrestle my way into figuring out what goes on in nors head i could do it. ive figured that i want ice to never ever see him as a brother. my vision is that nor is iceladns hot babysitter fantasy and first crush that never goes away. he wants to marry him when he grows up but then his feelings stay that way and it never ever ever ever ever goes away and only gets worse. u understand? do u see it

and UNFORTUNATELY nor knows ic/eland likes him from the beginning. he can tell from like ice's adolescence onwards and is like yeah idk about all that...... but the attention is flattering and he loves this little guy so much and thinks its sweet. he doesnt get to visit often but ice writes him a lot because hes in love with him ykwim and nor loves him so much too (platonic) and always writes back.

and yeah they go through periods of living together for various reasons. sickness unions famines etc etc. not ever for long and nothing ever happens. if adolescent iceland pushed boundaries, nor would humor him a little with like...a kiss, bc he spoils him, but ultimately he hard-shuts it down. and ice would be traumatized forever and block the memory out / be eternally tormented at night by the time he did such and such so is the worst person alive etc

and ice begins teen life with the whole he will never love me and i am a tormented soul shtick. now he writes to him less, tries to put more distance between them... so it hurts less and all that. hes not GOOD at pretending he hates nor or whatever but its easy to lose connection when messages are rare and visits are rarer

he spends much more time at denmarks than with no.rway. he sees den.mark as a proper older brother / uncle / fatherly figure. hes closer emotionally to him and lives with him more and all that. his tutors are danish and he goes to boarding school in cop.enhagen in the 1800s. idk how this ties into the romance necessarily but its timeline relevant. whether or not denmark picks up on the crush , i dont know. i could go either way lol. also, den + nors relationship is strictly brotherly btw. ironically. because theres not enough fics where theyre platonic and i really do enjoy them that way too

nor and ice remain distant for several hundred years. its once ice gets into his pushing for independence mixed with modern technology for better communication ..... somewhere between say, the invention of the airplane and landline phones, nor and ice repair their relationship. iceland is coming into adulthood (independence) for real, and is SO mature about his international relationships. he can be so mature and normal about norway. he can sit down with him and have lunch and discuss business and norway wont talk down at him for being young at all (lie) and he'll be so chill about that and not yell at him (he only does it once) (he only has to do it once)

all this isnt to say n.orway himself didnt attempt to stay close over the years, but ic.eland wasnt reciprocating, and even if they saw each other every year at christmas (doubt) that doesnt make them really CLOSE. but i think iceland was always particularly special to him bc of how close they were as kids. and they WERE both kids back then. little icela.nd sent him letters while nor was like 14 at best. i believe in teen mom norway and his eldest sondaughter icey. at least from nors perspective. even tho hes so absent so much of the time. when he comes around he showers him in gifts as a love language even way back when

anyway, ice.land still has an obvious crush on nor and nor finds it SO cute. like he could just pinch his cheeks and coo at him for it. ice tries to keep a lid on his emotions but can only do so much. nor doesnt SAY anything to point sus behavior out. but as soon as he notices,,,, its like there was no time apart, to nor. ice is so closed off and stiff and weird around him and nor wishes he would relax so they can connect properly and he honestly CANT

the solution is to drink otgether i think. at some point. maybe not immediately but they'll get to it.

icela.nd isnt like oohg im too young to drink, i think hes just lived long enough that hes a bit Over It / doesnt want to act like an idiot / really doesnt want to act like an idiot in front of nor. but nor could peer pressure him into anything if he really tried so they finally get tipsy together and i think that goes a long way to repair their relationship.

they do this many times and as long as ice is careful to not drink a lot he'll be fine. hes gotta keep his wits about him and still be able to feel shame. one time he indulges a little hard and i think ice trauma dumps on him and they kiss to make up for the time nor pushed him away and nor didnt realize he was still hurting so much about that. nor is tipsy enough to do it (not even drunk) and afterwards he goes ohh wait i kind of enjoyed that. and do it a few more times then make out for a while and it doesnt go anywhere, they fall asleep

the next day they completely remember kissing and know the other remembers it and just mutually dont talk about it.

icelan.d is VISIBLY struggling even harder around him for at least a few days until he gets a handle on his emotions. and nor has a lot to think about. in general.

i dont know where the dna stuff comes in. im falling asleep while typeing this

but icelan.d obvioiusly is like wtf? we arent related. thats impossible. i cant even fathom this. and nor.way is like you are the closest i will ever have to family and i am your biological father and icel.and is like what the fuck ew you can say brother as much as you want but never say father again im begging you and nor is like Bet.

and then they test and they're first degree related. father or brother would be appropriate. and nor is like yeah obviously (already believed this when he kissed him) and ic.eland is like (max harlow voice) SUICIDE !! SUICIDE !!

icelan.d sits with that information for a while but his crush still doesnt go away. nor gives him space and also sits with the information. he never thought he'd end up here but he decides that hes into it. its kinda hot. I Do believe in slutty n.orway supremacy i thnk hes slept with most of europe and doesnt have a strong internal sense of familial boundaries considering he is a landmass and is like yeah id do that again we're both adults hes cute whatever

next time they see each other nor comes onto him. and ice is squeemish about it but this is also everything hes ever wanted. whats he gonna do, say no?

at this point i fell asleep but im awake again uhhhh

ic.eland gets to cope with being a creep a weirdo and getting what he wanted in the worst way possible and nor gets to torment him with the brother thing not as a kink but bcz it makes him uncomfortable and he thinks its funny.

i forgot to talk about the actual oneshot ideas that inspired this in the first place didnt i. oh well

aaaaaaaaaaaaand post