#makjang | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dllamarama · 3 months

Text

Episode 14 Queen of Tears BaekHong recap

Scene: Please... live, Hae In-ah…

My heart aches when they sleep in a different room in their hotel room. Hyun Woo wakes up from the couch with a heavy sigh. He is not sleeping well judging by his haggard face and even his eyes don't look alive, somewhere inside him is crumbling with fear and worry. It seems like Hyun Woo is waking up early every morning to go to the church and pray for Hae In. Hae In was awake when he checks on her and silently follows Hyun Woo to the church. When he said that he was praying for Hae In to get the surgery, his voice was shaking while holding his tears. He is asking God to let her live and won’t ask more than that. But, Hae In is acting like she is not affected by it in front of him, but she is obviously sad and frustrated with the situation.

They went to the lavender field and she asks Hyun Woo whether he remembers their visit here during their honeymoon. They were talking about the incident in the pub after their visit to the lavender fields and she tells him about everything that she remembers about that night. She remembers all about that night’s scent, the full moon and the wind vividly. She tells him about her decision to refuse the surgery. She would rather die than losing all the memories about him, about their honeymoon, the place they have visited and most importantly herself. He will become a stranger and the place that holds their memories will become meaningless, it will turn into an ordinary place for her. Hyun Woo lost his words and maybe for the first time he understands why she is so adamant on not getting the surgery.

Scene: Please change your mind Hae In-ah!!!

Their families are trying to convince her to get the surgery through the video call. His father reveals that every time he calls hospitals and labs from overseas, they all give the same answer; they are already in touch with Baek Hyun Woo. This was what Hyun Woo meant when he said that he has too many things on his plate and he asked Hae In to stay in Yongduri in episode 10. He was making phone calls and sending hundreds of emails in the middle of the night to match their timing so that he could find any hospitals or labs that can save her. Hae In was surprised when she heard that and touched by his effort. But, her memories about her family were much more important than being able to live without it. Hae In knows that they will be sad when she dies, but she already made up her mind and nothing is able to change her decision. Of course she wanted to live, but being able to live by being a stranger in her own body is terrifying.

After Hyun Woo met with her doctor, Hae In is missing from her ward. He was running all the way from the hospital to the church where they went together yesterday’s morning and found out that she had written her wish. Contrary to his prayer and wish for her to live, she is praying to only have all the memories of loving others and being loved by others till her last dying breath, she won’t ask for more than that. Her decision is final.

Hyun Woo finally found her outside of the church crying alone and wahen he said her name “Hae In-ah…” I just... cry. When she realises that he is there, she wanted to run away but Hyun Woo immediately pulled and crashed her into his hug and this was their most intense hug in the series. He is already bawling when he hugs her and says sorry; that he asked so much from her by asking her to stay by his side selfishly and for making it hard for her. While Hae In is pleading for him to stop making her want to live; he is the only reason for her to live but to live while losing her memories about him scared her more than her death for she will be nothing but a stranger (in the lavender field, she mentioned that Hyun Woo will be a stranger to her, and here she is making him understand that its not just him being a stranger to her after the surgery, even she will turn into different person from the Hae In that he knew all his life). Hyun Woo tries again to convince her that he will still stay by her side even when she forgets him and all of their memories, for he already made a promise to stay by her side even when she had a debt (strangely I always sobbing hard on this part) or even bigger than that, he will always stay by her side even if she hates him and unable to remember him. Hae In is sorry that she can’t do that for him. She loves him more than anything in this world, and so, she has to let go of his hands. To lost her memory means that she will lost the Hyun Woo that she loves, also her first love and the only one she is willing to live for.

It was very humane to see Hyun Woo being frustrated and angry at Hae In after their tearful pleas outside the church. He didn’t even say anything to her when she said that she wanted to go to the toilet and was obviously pissed with her. The way that Hae In had to match his pace but he is purposely walk faster without waiting for her. It is also a fact that Hae In has always being the one with faster pace between them. But he is tired of her not willing to hear anyone’s advice and stubbornly firm with her decision. He has been giving her time again and again but she never seems to budge from her decision. He had appealed, pleaded and begged her to live but she wouldn’t listen. So, he had to try a different approach; by making her jealous intentionally as he knows that he is her most prized possession. This is exactly what she meant when she said that he is a fox. He pretends to act like a fool while fully knowing exactly his effect on her.

Scene: A broken Hyun Woo in a world without Hae In

Hyun Woo had a bad feeling after Grace’s phone call; he ran outside and was relieved when he saw that their car was still there and was walking towards the car just a few seconds before a truck crashed into their car. He is in shocked while walking without his soul to the crushed car; Hae In was definitely inside the car when he went into the store. His blood drained from his face while desperately praying that somehow Hae In is fine inside the car. He ran to the car instinctively and kept punching the passenger door’s window without a care or feeling an ounce of pain for his hand until it somehow broke. But, she is not inside.

Hae In shouts his name from behind and he turns around to that familiar voice. He could barely breathe through his mouth and it seems like there is no oxygen left in his body. He walks towards her while fixing his eyes on her, to make sure that it’s not his eyes playing tricks on him. She approaches him and cups his cheek, he can see her and he can feel her soft touch but he is not fully aware yet, it seems like he had been woken up from a nightmare. A nightmare with which he had to live in a world without Hong Hae In; it feels like she is an illusion in front of him. When Hae In scolds him with a worried voice, it finally seeps in; this is his Hae In and she is there in front of him. He finally pulls her into the most vulnerable hugs, so different from how he always pulls her into his hugs. He always pulls her into crushing bone hugs, but this is different; he feels like Hae In is a fragile glass that needed to be held gently and that’s how he broke down crying into her shoulder. He desperately craves her touch and his hand… his wounded hand clenches her coat with every ounce of energy he could gather. He probably didn’t register the pain from his hand.

Hae In is confused, this is probably the first time she ever saw him this vulnerable and disoriented. She almost couldn’t recognise him in this state. When Hyun Woo said that he thought that she was dead, something finally clicked inside her and she froze while he looked at her for a brief moment before his legs gave out and kneels down while desperately holding her hand and leaned his head on her small hand. He keeps chanting the words relieved while holding her small hand with both of his hands. She had that “What have I done?” moment after he kneels down and desperately holds her hand, Hae In broke out of her trance and kneels down in front of him while cupping his face and this time she is the one who hugs him and keeps whispering that it’s okay and she is there with him while caressing the hair on his nape. He is still sobbing like a child while Hae In is having her moment of realisation and clarity. She had seen the preview of devastated Hyun Woo once she died and it pains her to see him in this state, especially when the choice is in her hand and she has the opportunity to change her own fate.

They arrived at the hospital and probably it was only then Hyun Woo was able to register the pain from his broken knuckles at that moment. She chided him for acting like a lunatic and he answered that he really was a lunatic that lost his judgement after seeing it happen in front of his eyes and thought that she was inside the car. She was luckily saved after following the four-leaf clover cart that passed by. The way he didn’t save a breath to answer her “Will you sob like that if I die?” with “Of course” with full conviction although embarrassed and avoiding her eye contact. He really meant it when he said that he will give up on his life if she dies. Hae In after knowing this fact, finally makes up her mind to receive the surgery. At last, she is able to set her priority; Baek Hyun Woo. She is terrified of losing her memories and most probably herself entirely but the most important thing she doesn’t want to lose is Baek Hyun Woo. She said that she doesn’t want to see him cry again while wiping his tears, that she should start trying to keep the promise she made when she asked him to marry her. Hyun Woo hugs her and thanks her for making a difficult decision, he understands that it was terrifying for her. But he promised her that he will make sure that she will never lose herself and he will protect her to make sure that she stays as Hong Hae In. For us to know that the promise will not be able to be kept because of YES scheme….

Scene: The only thing that left for me is remember your name; Baek Hyun Woo

The scene before Hae In went into the operation theatre just annoys the hell out of me. Even when I watched it for the first time, I had to pause and wait until the series was complete first. Knowing what will happen to them and YES trapped Hyun Woo just makes my blood boil and I had to calm down first. Hyun Woo had promised to be by her side when she woke up after the surgery but he couldn’t because YES framed him for the murder and had to be detained. Hae In already told him that she will be a newly hatched duckling and she will follow whoever she saw first and to know that shibalsaekki will be the first person she saw after the surgery just… I hate it so much! Why does PJE still wanted to put YES as the focus of their story at episode 14 for fuck’s sake. She could’ve focussed more on Baek-Hong relationship growth and development, talk about their baby 1031.

How many times did Hyun Woo cry for this episode alone? I counted and it was six; 1) when he asked her to live after revealing the surgery’s side effect, 2) outside of the church pleading her to live and stop praying for death, 3) when he thought that the car crash killed her, 4) at the hospital after she made the decision to receive the surgery, 5) outside of the operation theatre after she went inside and 6) at the Germany detention centre when he saw the first snow outside of the window.

After he sends Hae In inside the operation theatre and the view blocked him from her, he was trying to calm himself down and keep repeating inside his head that Hae In will finally live. But a sudden realisation hits him like a truck; that it was their last conversation with Hae In’s memory fully intact. There is no certainty that she will be able to get her memory back. But, at least she will live and by being able to live itself brings so many opportunities and chances for their future. He will be able to see her after her surgery. He was also worried that some complication could happen during the operation. He was trying to put on a brave face in front of Hae In before he sent her in. But now that he is alone, he is just as scared as Hae In. He is desperately praying for Hae In to come back to him.

Right just after Hae In’s surgery was completed and she is in recovery, German police force arrived at the hospital to arrest him for the murder of Mr. Pyeon (the broker). He could only see Hae In being brought out of the operation theatre before he was being held on the floor and handcuffed as he was attempting to at least see her face.

The scene showing Hae In’s memory vanished one by one while she was still unconscious after the surgery; Hyun Woo’s request for a divorce withdrawal, the moment they found out she’s pregnant, Hyun Woo’s marriage proposal at the aquarium, Hyun Woo’s promise to stay by her side when she ate the strawberry pop for the first time during their visit to Yongduri, their wedding day and lastly is Baek Hyun Woo. It has all vanished from her memory but when she finally wakes up, the first word she utters before even fully conscious from the anaesthesia effect is… BAEK HYUN WOO. But all she got was YES with a creepy smile who hurriedly explained things to her after she was just conscious for less than one minute. She didn’t get her “Gwaenchana?” from Hyun Woo. Hyun Woo would never do that to her, he will wait until she is fully conscious and had enough time to adjust to her surrounding. She was supposed to get a warm smile with happy tears from Hyun Woo, to hold her hands and thank the heavens for saving her. But…

Baek Hyun Woo is in the detention centre and seeing the first snow of the year from his detention room. He was reminded of Hae In’s wish to see the first snow while hoping for her first love to come true. He feels powerless and massively worrying and missing her. They could’ve seen the first snow together from her ward while she is recovering and he should be there to tell her everything about her, him and them. But he can’t and there is nothing he can do about it. At the hospital, Hae In is also watching the first snow from her window and she had this empty but sad undertone expression on her face. She reached out her left hand towards the window and noticed her little finger’s nail was painted with balsam ink on it. She felt a sharp pain in her heart without knowing, understanding or remembering why. We knew that she will slowly regain her memory because her heart remembers and it will lead her back to Hyun Woo.

Summary:

Hae In’s only reason to live: Baek Hyun Woo. He was the one that makes her want to live and when she realised that he did not love her in episode 7, she’d rather die and that’s why her subconscious mind brought her to stand in the middle of a busy road. This time, she’d rather die than have her memories of him and of them disappeared and she fought hard at that even when he pleads and cries because of her. Then again, she decided to get the surgery because she’d seen how devastated he will be if she dies, even more if she dies while having the option and hope for her to live but choosing not to live. She chooses to live because of him.

We had seen all sorts of crying with different emotions by Baek Hyun Woo, but him crying like a child in front of Hae In after the car crashed was easily the most heart-wrenching scene for the whole series. He had shed many tears in front of her but never once did he ever seem totally out of it, Baek Hyun Woo is always present. But after the car crashed, his soul was gone, gone with Hae In when he thought that she was inside the car. Even after he was comforted by Hae In’s hug, half of his soul is still lost somewhere during the event that had just happened in front of his eyes.

BAEK HYUN WOO. Hae In knows her priorities and it is Hyun Woo. She carries his name in her heart and she is praying with his name on her lips right until the last moment she was under the influence of anaesthesia. She keeps chanting his name so that she would never forget that name; BAEK HYUN WOO.

#queen of tears #baekhong #rewatching #kdrama #hong hae in #baek hyun woo #kim soo hyun #kim ji won #king of tears #we were robbed #by this ridiculous makjang #lavender #sobbing in the corner #the plot ain't plotting #its the end of the series #lets pretend the last 2 episodes didn’t happened #in my mind they shall be romancing

10 notes · View notes