#man really said “I actually AM this character and this REALLY HAPPENED” and I fucken believe him

[that-ineffable-devil]

The way George Rexstrew absolutely destroyed souls with the emotion behind the phrases "We didn't matter, he and I" and "Charles, I'm in love with you" will haunt me through eternity.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Isn't it implied that Armand was sexually abused even before Marius when he was basically a child sex trafficking victim? Kind of don't even want RJ to touch that backstory at all at this point tbh

Oh yes, I would say it's not even "implied" as much as very clearly part of his backstory. He's kidnapped and trafficked and winds up with Marius because Marius purchases him.

I will say when I talked about this yesterday I said "Especially because Armand's experience of it doesn't fit neatly into RJ's whole 'rape makes you tougher' trope since Armand doesn't ask the reader to think of it as rape." which!!!!!! I will fine tune here and say I meant his experiences with Marius are the rape he doesn't try to sell us as rape. Please don't get me started on TVA meta and Armand's reliability as a narrator since we are in AMC land today on this post. He's clear about what happens to him when he's trafficked, and when Marius first "rescues" him he's so traumatized that he's nonverbal.

So it absolutely does not make him tougher; it makes him traumatized and vulnerable. I think even his respite of living with Marius is undone when he gets to the cult and re-embraces his fervent religious beliefs. It makes me wonder if he's overcorrecting and seeing his time with Marius as sin. He doesn't recover from this for like 300 years!

But that kinda leans into like a lot of the casual readers' ambiguity about who & what Marius is, also about Anne's intentions writing it/the branding contamination of her erotica career. I would even argue that a lot of casual readers don't even make it this far into the series, anyway. This is probably the most divisive book in the series because some people read it as fun vampire erotica that's just packed to the rafters with sexy & extremely common kink tropes, other people go WAIT WHAT THE FUCK? lol.

I'm not completely buying that the team on this show actually read the whole series, or at least not as deeply as fandom nerds have 😂, and like I think everyone has to remember that Tumblr & fandoming are echochambers and people outside in the regular world tend not to be this sensitive to these topics. Especially when it comes to topics that are more familiar in queer spaces. So it wouldn't surprise me if the Venice era was read uncritically. I almost wanna say maybe even read as Anne intended but what the fuck has this show told us about what Anne intended? LOL.

But there's a lot of ambiguity in TVA with Marius's intentions again don't let me waste Marius meta on an AMC post and the thing people often romanticize about him is that he rescued Armand. And like I just wonder if the show, seeing how they're handling Claudia, would lean into the like Ricean precocious child trope and try to play it off that Armand is asking for it or enjoying it.

And much like the way they're portraying Lestat, I think it's worth noting that Marius's actons often come from grounded places, and the harm he does is not always intentional. Personally I don't think the show has framed Lestat as particularly sympathetic, although they've given us some clues about why he's like this. I think fandom is really extrapolating on that stuff and woobifying him LOL so just. WHEW WOULD THEY DO THAT TO MARIUS? HAHA. fucken yiiikes.

I am *eating popcorn gif* waiting to see if the completely rampant Lestat apologism will extend to Marius bc it's hilarious to me that he has been demonized by fandom along with his fans but yet Domestic Abuser Lestat is just sad about his ex uwu louis is so mean 2 him

So anyway yeah idk man. I'm not thrilled with what the show is saying about teenagers and sexual assault so I definitely have some concerns about Armand. But I also feel like it would be such a cop out to age him up, because him being turned at 17 and looking like that is so important to his character. All of this stuff is important to his character. Like idk I don't want them to shy away from these topics but I just hope like, if there's meaningful feedback from Season 1 maybe they write it more sensitively and with more nuance going forward.

I hate to say it but we can only hope that the show continues on its path of making it the fuck up and maybe none of this will make it to the screen anyway. hopes & prayers. please leave my son out of this adshjgkadg

[dull-c]

okay! i have finally managed to catch up on some sleep and am gonna talk further s5 thoughts under the cut.

overall - i had a really good time watching it. i had talked myself down over the last week to a point where my expectations were more or less in the gutter, so it exceeded my expectations, in some ways it met them, and on one occasion it was even worse than i had anticipated.

the great: -as i said last night: C H O Z E N. chozen was a dream. all of you can go home this is the only good man. god, the way he just showed up every time and loved and protected and supported the larussos and miyagi do and et al unequivocally. his daytime telly, patrolling the house, fucking with silver and his instant connection with tory when he was undercover at cobra kai (i so so wish there had been more of that), his egg training sesh and his running into the barnes furniture store to save his ride or die. i am not exaggerating in the slightest when i say i was squeaking and kicking my legs and muttering i love you almost every time he was on screen.

-related, DANZEN. danzen season was better than I had hoped for. the way they like totally unabashedly hyped each other up, smiled softly at each other, clothed each other, went on underover ops and bought each other $2000 couches and pat pat patted each other and generally just loved all over each other like, constantly??? it was amazing. they were giving each other the love and support they deserve and i was fucken thrilled -the lack of kreese redemption. that was honest to god so sexy. kreese redemption was something i have been anticipating/fearing ever since they started rolling out that insane backstory. ymmv about this and that’s cool, but i didn’t like the idea of it for many reasons. so, i thought it was going to happen and i was ready to slog through it while rolling my eyes and sighing long-sufferingly and when johnny and daniel showed up at the prison i was like, here we fucking go i guess. so i cannot tell you the elation that coursed through my body when the camera focused on that note and i realized what was happening. i yelled. i have had sex less satisfying than johnny telling kreese to eat shit and then daniel putting a fullstop on it with no mercy motherfucker.

(daniel and jlawz 100% practiced their good cop bad cop routine in the van beforehand) -no one died!!! lucille was fine (if nonexistent!) chozen was fine!! daniel got punched in the heart metaphorically and hawk got punched in the heart literally and they were both fine!!! yeah!!! fuck you for making me worry for months hayden s you fucking troll!!!! -was personally thrilled that the one time an australian has made an appearance in the show it was a grifting hemsworth knockoff   -daniel in the sauna. it was terrifying sure, but i was also just distracted by how utterly beautiful he looked in there. he looked amazing the whole season but especially there. daniel daniel daniel. i am still processing my thoughts on his s5 arc but i loved most of it. I wish that there had been more time to explore certain things but i love that his trauma and tendency to overreaction (or to be seen as overreacting) was addressed to an extent. i loved that we saw him receiving some of the love and generosity he had given out for once. that filled my heart -jessica!! i loved the way they wrote her into the fam, and the macaroni shoutout. i loved the way she pointed out so plainly what happened to daniel, in a way that couldn’t be handwaved or diminished. i would have loved to have seen her and daniel actually interact, but for now that pic robyn lively posted on twitter of her and ralph will have to suffice -reluctantly i must admit that mike barnes was not that bad. like i’m not about to ship him with my blorbo or anything, but he was fine. his storyline was fine and he even made me laff. i guess most of my mike animosity is based in animosity towards SK, not the character so much (also: the way mike apologized to daniel literally minutes after running into him again and jlaw is still crickets aha ha welp) -also reluctantly, i must admit that the running gag where daniel tried to break up fights over him between his old bullies and kept ended up getting beaned himself did made me laugh. baby boy!!! i’m sorry but my sense of humour is very low brow :(( -despite the valiant attempt to /no homo/ everything this season (see ‘the nah’ below), it was still extremely homo sorry about it. danzen i have already mentioned but lawrusso also gets a mention obviously for that butt slap, for “get your hands off him”, for we’re miyagi do / no we’re eagle fang, for the sudden uptick in touching generally. for the way daniel showed up drunk and dishevelled on jlawz’ doorstep and tried to start a fight/make himself feel something and johnny’s calm in that moment. for “i pushed him off a cliff” and that extremely beezee-esque double slap on daniel’s chest when they were singing eye of the tiger. (and i also now ship louie/anoush) (basically your no homo sign cannot work on me because i cannot read) (wont read) (refuse to)  -sam and tory’s arcs. both individually and together. the scene where sam walked into tory’s apartment made me cry. them both working out what they were fighting for. they’re lawrusso vibes but like 35 years ahead of the curve and I was rooting for them so hard. -that corny little love-in for daniel at the dojo. mr miyagis room. the paint the house sign!! (immediate tears) acknowledgement of his grief and regret. the stuff between him and robby - i was p much convinced that we’d never see any further reference to robby’s time being mentored by daniel now that he was making things up with jlawz, and i was so soft for those two. so it really really made me happy to see a bit of something there -eli and demetri teamwork always always gets me. actually, the whole group/protect the egg teamwork stuff was great (that’s the point right? stronger together is the point) and i liked that they leaned into anthony’s strength not being physical like his sister and dad. something something captain planet -i liked that amanda actually got some meaty stuff this season -terry was deliciously evil. just off the wall batshit and i respect it. i mean, i was also very happy to see chozen and daniel beat tf out of him, don’t get me wrong, but he is a good villain

the nah: -oh carmen got did SO FUCKING DIRTY this season (rip in peace to her and shannon’s characteristions apparently). 

unfunny story, this was a thing i said couple of weeks back in a post about the j-man:

so i had at least a half-sense that this was coming. however, i did not anticipate the do-over baby nor the fact that the no homo overcorrection would extend to pretty much everyone else as well. uh that’s on me i guess!!

-like. i adore chozen and kumiko. i love those pretend ppl so much it’s embarrassing and listen (despite my initial WHAT and damiko basically owning my heart and soul) I would not even be against the two of them kissing necessarily if it made them (and daniel) happy, but this just really felt like another deeply gratuitous no homo moment. what is wrong with them both being single anyway in their late middle age? they’re fine?? it’s not a curse to not be in a relationship. are we really doing this to try to stop people writing chozen luvs daniel online? bc folks will definitely still do that* so you are just diluting your story peeps *i’m currently writing ‘mr chozen larusso’ in cursive repeatedly in my diary -johnny’s entire will to live/fight back hinging on the photo of the fetus. who wrote this, the us supreme court??? i understand it was about what the photo ~represented~ rather than the actual scan itself but i dunno, maybe they could have used a photo of his actual outside-the-womb bigger than a potato child?? that turning point was genuinely so insane it startled a laugh out of me in what was meant to be a poignant moment (btw he’s soooooo hetero u guys) -in no time in the history of the world has any child or teenager responded to the news that their fifty something year old alcoholic dad knocked up his gf the way robby did btw. literally never. never ever ever. there was more nuance in daniel’s reaction lmao -the turnaround generally with miguel and robby from beating each other senseless to hugging and being like YAYE A HALF SIBLING was stupid fast. they are both deeply earnest babies so i absolutely believe they could get there, but there was literally no awkward teenage in-between time. they were fighting (johnny being like ok yeah fight it out was….. a thing that happened) and then they were 100% fine and. like. i liked their individual stories actually, but their interaction fell so flat. little steps in the right direction would have been just as moving and more believable, i think.

the i guess??? dot jpeg -CGI young johnny. cursed. if they ever try to cgi mr miyagi into this show i will literally nope out and exit the building so fast my head will spin off

-ok but chomiko really?? idk guys -daniel doing the crane kick was a lil bit cringe for me. in fact the pacing of his and silvers fight generally felt little off? i don’t know if it was just bc i was distracted worrying about chozen at that point?? but it didn’t quite hit. -the kreese ‘death’ didn’t quite hit either because i knew exactly what he was doing. did anyone not realise what he was doing?

//

anyway, that got long. i’m sure there are more things i have forgotten but they’ll out eventually.

apologies in advance for the imminent like-spam, i now have to backtrack through the last 48 hours worth of posts and catch up on what all you folks’ thoughts were. i have some snacks and i am Ready

[hotchley]

🦄 i know there are fics with hotch and food and how he eats bland food but also the guy puts jalapeños in his omelettes. do u think likes flavorful cuisines? he also does seem to only make bland foods for jack (mac n cheese, pancakes). which could be a kid's thing but could be a white thing like i wouldn't know lmaoo (come on, asian to asian, tell me to my face you weren't eating flavorful foods at a young age). like i dunno, hotch is such an inconsistent character. at one point im p sure he stopped eating bc he literally looked so gaunt on screen. but in the same ep he shows that he knows how to cook (or at least sautee onions lmaoo) AND organized a team cooking lesson. or maybe this is just me obsessing over all the hotch/garcia scenes bc they're one of my fave pairs and she always brings out the colorful sides of him.

this is also just me being annoyed at reid's character bc one of the trope i hate most is white guy knows more about minority things than the actual minorites. like somehow the guy knows korean but can't use chopsticks? also his pronunciation of korean phrases is horrid and i just hate the trope so much bc white ppl always butcher asian things and they always use asian cultures/aesthetics as props. like haha look at how smart i am, i can translate this korean movie for u in realtime. and him speaking over the kid at the reservation rubbed me in the wrong way like stay in your fucken lane, whiteboy. just bc u read books doesn't mean you understand anything at all and im really glad hotch called him out on that. i mean the same thing happened with the ep on african religions (which was not sensitively done might i just say). like i get he's a genius and he likes to read but what good is that booksmart if he just ends up being an asshole irl. so many of his "look im a genius and im cultured" end up being throw away lines and this show is already super white which makes the treatment of those lines seem even more insensitive. like does he know most of his genius comes a lot from his privilege of being a white male. i dunno, his character is just so annoying to me and ive said it before: garcia does the whole genius thing better and she isn't even half as annoying about it (even if she's white lmaoo).

Okay, so Hotch probably does enjoy trying new foods and different things but he’ll just give Jack bland things because he’s white and doesn’t want to destroy Jack’s taste buds, even though he would be fine. (Yep, I was definitely eating things I probably wasn’t old enough too as a younger child)

I reckon after Foyet there was only so much he could stomach which is why his choices went bland and after Pakistan he was probably so anxious, stressed and sad that he just couldn’t stomach anything without feeling nauesous.

I LOVE HOTCH AND GARCIA SO MUCH!!!! “Don’t call me honey.” is one of my favourite scenes with the two of them.

OH I KNOW! I get that the show came out in the early 2000s and all that, but if they really cared, they could have had an Asian character. Okay he can’t use chopsticks, but they should have just either a) left other peoples cultures alone or b) done it properly by actually doing research and having the team be like: Oh so I learnt this but obviously, I am white.

I’m gonna be honest, I do not remember the episode with African religions and I’m not sure I want to remember. I just feel like the writers should have made it that Reid has knowledge on other cultures but lets the people who are actually part of them speak and listens instead of having him every two minutes flaunt the fact that he’s a genius.

Because what I want to know is, if Reid had been an ethnic man, a white woman, or an ethnic woman, would the intelligence have been praised the way it was or would it have just been an expectation?

I’m fairly neutral towards canon-Reid I’m like: Yeah okay, cool. There’s a particular subsection of the fandom where I’m like: GUYS! REID IS A GROWN ASS MAN YOU CAN’T BLAME EVERYTHING ON OTHER PEOPLE!! And I also think basing your like of a character off what they say to Reid is kinda unfair because I will put my hands up and say I probably would ask how he happens to know stuff and not always be able to keep up with what he’s saying because I just couldn’t.

Garcia is the best. Absolutely love her!

[beigejournals]

Season 5 Lucifer

welcome to my unsolicited thoughts about Season 5 of Lucifer.  

as an avid and veteran series binger AND a talker-while-watching-a-movie-or-series-but-does-not-want-to-spoil-anything-for-my-friends type of person, i have finally dedicated a space and found a good way to let all my thoughts out as i watch a movie or series when i am alone when i can’t bother a lot of people because (1) they don’t want to be bothered and (2) i don’t want to spoil things for them.

so here are my thoughts, and of course, SPOILERS AHEAD.

BTW, i LOVED all of Lucifer! but this season was a slow burn for me. 

ep1

drug scene at Lux; is Amenadiel mean now?

so is Lucifer himself in his own hell loop when he became the ruler of hell? his own guilt towards his father? idk (to be frank, i don’t remember the past episodes except for the fact that he is now back in hell)

the premise of the first episode is cute!

side note after the title card: i remember how much i loved the soundtrack for Lucifer!

Maze is still hot.

I love how Maze and Chloe’s relationship developed and how they don’t have to use words to communicate.

Amenadiel’s and the Psychologist’s house HAHAHAHA i love it.

is Charlie Jesus? His mom’s faith in front of Ella is like every mom plus every religious person ever haha

YES. ELLA. YOU. DESERVE. A. GOOD. GUY.

self-improvement is now a meme, huh?

Dan is me.

comment on drug scene: Amenadiel is still the same, haha!

Maze and the card, haha!

how was the guy in the mask face (did i just say mask face?) blurred but in the party, Los Angeles was in perfect accuracy. excuse me.

coming out of the dead: “oh sorry, that’s so gross!” LORDT HAHA

love you, Charlie! hope you don’t feel like you have to perform because your mom expects a lot from you and that’s so ironic because she’s a psychologist!

Dan’s speeches about parenting: i get it tho, parents try to love their child, sometimes, they just don’t know how

also, i think it’s the sister but Chloe’s just a softie

lol Maze is jealous that Chloe got to talk to Lucifer and trying to say that they don’t need Lucifer.

OOF MAZE.

i forgot about what happened with Eve.

GUYS THE MURDERER IS LITERALLY GOING TO ESCAPE.

the amount of projection as defense mechanism in this episode is too much it feels like it’s too on the nose.

but i do love the parallel between what’s happening on Earth and in hell.

the amount of layers in this question either it’s Lucifer’s or his or his sister’s (assuming it is his sister who was behind his murder)

ok apparently it’s not his sister.

me in law school:

sana all kaya kang mahalin na babalik from hell. kilig aq.

also, after all these years, Lucifer’s house has been so clean!!! wala man lang alikabok

if she’ll be fine without him then who tf is that?

ok i read the synopsis for the next couple of episodes. i don’t like spoilers. don’t make the same mistake.

ep2

i’m Ella when it comes to my friends’ special people HAHA

also, i love the slight lean to one side to show us that this is not the real Lucifer.

why does he have to be naked???

it’s so funny for me how they have to reestablish him. LUCIFER NEVER LIES HAHAHAHAHA yes we can remember now after you repeated it 3x.

ALSO WHY IS EVERYTHING TO ON THE NOSE. EVERY SECOND IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING. was it always like this?

Oh Michael. Nice. Was he an archer? We love the American accent.

how can Amenadiel not know that was Michael? GANON KA IDENTICAL SIZ?

we love the unnecessary car chase just to  reinstate the fact that this is a crime show

that slomo with the wings!!!

also everything is so slow with this show!!! idk why but everything feels just a little bit slower (or maybe i just want lucifer and chloe to be together? idk)

gwapo ni lucifer nung nagmomol sila ni Maze pls

cringe ng elevator scene

ykw. i think it’s because i like the lucifer character that’s why i’m impatient. he hasn’t been appearing the way i want him to.

see. you don’t have to remind me so much about the show because i know he was supposed to say “what is it that you truly desire” not fear. I FEEL LIKE THIS SEASON IS DUMBING THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THE SHOW FOR SO LONG. okay sige.

either she knows it’s not him or SHE’S REALLY THAT NICE AND POWERFUL OF A HUMAN BEING.

oh i’ve been questioning whether they had sex already and this episode answered my question

CRINGE coffee scene: the spoon???

random question: are angels virgins? so is Michael a virgin?

what kind of a person would just go deep on someone else’s pocket just because they ran out of money?

knew it Maze won’t do Chloe dirty like that!

thanks Chloe. u know better than that. (full disclosure: I THOUGHT SHE WAS ACTING BADLY APPARENTLY A GOOD ACTOR CAN ACT BADLY TO PROVE A POINT?)

literally just liked it and now there’s a new secret that was said too soon.

God baka naman pwede mo ko gawing Chloe Decker char.

AH so interesting. Lucifer = Desire. Michael = Fear. Too on the nose again but that time, i needed the guidance because i am a dumbass.

God ain’t raising his children right!

ep3

yes explain everything to me it’s literally not like we have been binging this show for 2 hours straight

see, the Lucifer character is really endearing. i’m enjoying myself again hahaha. (well, i guess Lucifer when he’s with Chloe?)

can i just say that Tom Ellis was born for that role. he fits is so well that him acting as his own twin doesn’t sit well with me.

i just feel like this show was written by a psychologist who liked watching murder shows.

it’s Lucifer, Chloe!!! siya yon.

ep4

love Lucifer-Chloe tandem!

we love how the actors can sing and the show gives them a chance...

one thought: is everyone going to play a double of who they are?

also is Maze the daughter of Lucifer?

i love how they’re transcending mediums, reminds me of Community with their random episodes.

there you go, Chloe’s doing the double acting too.

Now it’s Linda. (so maybe this is the episode i was asking about earlier).

Now it’s Ella.

omg is this why i loved fleabag, it took forever for the Priest and Fleabag to finally do it? no. i just love the Priest.

Charlotte’s back! and the distance from the table shows how not okay they are. okay.

green screen while driving i love it.

now, Daniel!

we love gender fluidity? i guess. i’m not sure how you call it but i appreciate.

Lilith’s dress for the second song. OMG.

there again to make us dumb. after we just watched the whole thing happen, they retell the whole story again. damn. they think we dumb.

literally this season is making every girl kiss Chloe.

why did she blow the ring? was that her life?

what’s that song in the end?

OH that was the reason why she was retelling everything.

damn celestial beings are the worst parents.

ep5

i wanna be Dr. Linda Martin please.

i appreciate Lucifer wearing the bracelet until now. (but i expected nothing less)

i’ve always loved how people reacted to Amenadiel. he always seemed nerdy but these are times where he truly shine and im so happy.

i forgot.  i think i was showering that time that Michael and Lucifer fought and theyre hella dumb. ok lets go toxic masculinity mixed with daddy issues.

i know they’re too on the nose ABOUT EVERYTHING but i do like the debate about free will and predestination

honestly i don’t know what’s Chloe’s issue is with being made by God probably just because i’m lazy and i just want to lay everything in His hands but coming from a very atheistic perspective where she comes from i kinda get it. i guess my only reasoning why i’m okay with God’s reason is with her is because of my fear of the unknown; my current fear with not knowing my true purpose. at least she got hers! what is she complaining about?

oh i get it now, but that’s why there’s free will Chloe (or idk, idk how God works; there’s currently no electricity in my house rn. i don’t get how that works even if we pay for our electricity all the time, how am I suppose to know God’s plans?)

but aren’t well created for something else? looking at a selfish perspective, maybe He created all of us just because He wanted to.

wow. literally when the nun kissed Amenadiel, the lights in our house opened up. if that ain’t God. idk who that is.

wow that’s so interesting.

“There are no shortcuts.” 🥺

he exposed himself i’m interested. what if i were the one to whom that was exposed to... how would i react?

another sample of them explaining to us WHAT WE ALREADY CAN INFER FROM THE SHOW (the conversation actually continues to dumb it down for the audience) but i get it. it’s religion and fiction built together.

oh i just cringed i almost vomited with this 

also can i just share these. these are the funniest thing Chloe said on the show.

ep6

OOF what a horrifying way to start the episode (after the beach fiasco)

they’re holding us. that’s so adorable!!!

ugh. im still cringing.

yes jowa for ella yes pls. ELLA YOU SAID YOU WANT A NICE GUY!!! HE’S THERE!!! i’ll take him if you won’t!

Chloe if you don’t want Lucifer, i’ll take him too!

can i say how proud i am of Chloe and Dan’s relationship. it’s very healthy for what they are. add Lucifer and Dan to that too! we love men.

also the women in this show have bad taste in men. (except for who Linda married, i guess)

we love the seasonal girl’s night!

that whole charlie thing being amused by lucifer’s devil face is the best bit

was it Michael calling? and oh noooo ;(

FUCKEN MICHAEL

ngl i could have waited for another season for them to have sex on season 6 episode 6 but sure have it at season 5.

ep7

we love a person who wakes up and is not pretty. princess anna who? (i mean she is wearing full on make up, but we’re okay with that snore)

Deckerstar!! they made a word for it

our mojo??? does it only work on lucifer or does it work when she does it to others as well, we shall find out.

oh no! Lucifer’s isn’t working at all HAHAHAHA

it’s currently 2:19 AM. i am tired and sleepy.

Dan talking to Charlotte 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Fucking Michael

oh he emphasized archangel Michael. with my limited knowledge being raised Catholic, i was going to ask earlier if he was an archer because he had crooked shoulders. AND I JUST CHECKED. ARCHANGEL MEANS HIGH RANKING ANGEL NOT AN ANGEL WHO’S A FUCKING ARCHER. me being raised Cathlolic means nothing. HAHAHH

now i’m realizing if i see an angel, maybe i won’t be in the situation where i’ll see Amenadiel but Michael

NO NO NO AMENADIEL

i love this HAHAHAHAHA

knew it. called it! worked on lucifer ONLY. HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE THAT MADE FOR EACH OTHER. LORD BAKA NAMAN.

i’m ella shipping them.

THEYRE SPEAKING TAGALOG HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

what song was that? “When it hurts, just to breathe” same

The Shining reference no thank you pls

NAAAH i really can’t do horror things especially not with things i truly fear and when i don’t have a curtain on. No thanks.

14:54 and i’m watching again open the lights bro, it’s easier to find clues that way   also i do get that they’re closing it to ensure that the killer is not there but theyre also moving like the killer is not there anyway so better open up the lights! tho i really know nothing about crime solving (i just typed crime solving instead of solving crimes didn’t i)

we stan ella’s healthy relationship!!!

can i just say there was a time where i can’t even say serial killer out loud so this is really hard for me to watch alone

i know that he’s vulnerable around the detective. BUT SHE SAID HE CHOSE TO BE SO BY NOW HE SHOULDN’T BE AFFECTED BY WHAT HE DID.

Fucken Michael.

ep8

how attractive can you be that even in slow motion, you look great.

oh apparently he did not die.

ALSO OO NGA CHLOE. US2 MO SIYA MAMATAY TEH.

CHLOE THE OVERTHINKER but i get it. BUT STILL.

you know that montage of people just studying and it’s now happening to chloe trying to solve a crime. that’s my cinematography goal HAHAHA. it’s been awhile since i’ve been invested in studying like that.

Lucifer can be just so immature some times

is KillShare based off of SkillShare?

also i’m thinking that Chloe was either taken by Michael or Dan or the SK.

that ring of Lucifer on Maze is probably the longest ring someone has waited for.

i love Maze’s eye make up! ALL THE TIME!

if the lady here is not detective and they’re relieved. that’s just fucked up, man. they were slightly relieved. that’s good acting HAHAHAHAHA.

I’M JUST PRAYING TO GOD THAT PETE REALLY IS A GOOD GUY AND NOT THE SERIAL KILLER COZ I CAN’T HATE THAT GUY PLEASE. the key and the research!!! WTF. stop trying to be smart, show!!!

his mojo is back, does that mean Chloe is gone? 😢

OH AFTER THE TAPES, I THINK IT IS THE BOYFRIEND. DAMN SHE’S REALLY INTO BAD MEN, ISN’T SHE?

I’M SO SCARED. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.

THE FLOWERS ARE FRIGGIN KILLING ME.

kamukha niya pa si Penn Badgley, nice.

DOES HE GENUINELY LIKE HER OR IS THE KISS TO THROW HER OFF GUARD.

AH NO. i think he genuinely likes her. except that she... you know found that he’s a fucking murderer

HAHAHA PETE

right??? why does this show have to say everything out loud like don’t already know.

oh he just used her but then he liked her. idk. the way he speaks too, so nonchalant.

preach, ELLA!!!! shout out to those who had crappy childhoods and are not serial killers! that’s the bare minimum i guess.

go, Ella!!! know your worth!

lol made me love Pete, he’s funny.

ok my assumptions were right-ish.

HAHAHA, his american accent.

his choosing to be bot vulnerable around her anymore, Michael, i think is a way of him staying alive for Chloe but ofc Chloe will think that Lucifer would rather have his vulnerability than to be with her.

baka di lang love language ni Lucifer words of affirmation, okay! HE SAVED HER LIFE SO MANY TIMES AND NOW SHE’S DOUBTING BECAUSE HE HASN’T SAID I LOVE YOU YET??? SIZ. HE LITERALLY LEFT HELL FOR YOU.

MICHAEL STOP. Michael the shit stirrer. we all have that one friend.

awa me kay Maze. she’s like a lost dog throughout the show.

does Michael want to be God?

skipped thru the speech. cringe.

what’s Amenadiel’s problem with his child having a normal cold? what’s wrong if he’s a mere mortal?

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHO’W SO INSECURE. i get so annoyed every time Chloe’s mad that Lucifer doesn’t get what he wants

it’s just that i resonate with Lucifer. it’s hard for me to say i love you and now i think Amenadiel stopped time.

oh. i thought Amenadiel’s fears about Charlie being mortal was superficial, i just realized that he was afraid that his child was going to die. but, he can take him to heaven like what he did with Charlotte, right?

oh Michael.

MAZE! MICHAEL IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!! you’re fine! i don’t have a soul either.

celestial beings and their daddy issues and inability to communicate with one another and the desire to fight it out as if that’s the solution

HOTTEST BROTHERS EVER DAMN.

itong si God ngayon lang magpapakita anuna siz.

WHY ISN’T HE PLAYED BY MORGAN FREEMAN BUT OK.

CLIFFHANGER!!! IM MAD.

ep 8 should have been called blueballz tbh

[multiverseofimagines]

for the song lyric thing, could you do 8 w richard madden?? 💗

prompt 8; “ We’re such a Mess Together, You make me lose My Temper.”

Prompt list

a/n ; pls request more richard im so in love with this mans. also idek what this is, this is a lil angsty and mentions smUt. Also I’m so sorry if this isn’t what you wanted I got so carried away.

warnings; angst, some dom!richard, sex mentions 😤 Age Gap (18+)

-

You watched Richard tentively flirt with some random woman at Elton’s huge cast dinner, celebrating the success of Rocketman, the biopic based upon Elton Johns’ life. You had been one of the movement coaches, helping all the boys learn how to not only sound like their characters but walk and have mannerisms like them. This led you to have many ‘private sessions.’

None of your lessons with the other boys had been anything but, professional or friendly. But, Richard, he was a different story. He had you absolutely wrapped around his finger; quivering at every touch he gave you. You could hear his voice in your head as you watched him and the woman whom you had seen at least once on set flirt with eachother.

“ darling, you’re fucken’ drenched.” He would whisper against your ear biting and sucking at the lobe, making you go absolutely mad. Running a long finger along your slit.

You shot daggers at the two, his hand running along her back, bringing her to the back garden, where most of the party really was. You couldn’t help but tear up a little. How could you be so stupid? Falling for a man much older and successful than you. Foolish.

You were about to let all of your tears out before you felt a hand on your shoulder, it was Charlie. “ You alright y/n?” He asked you, concerned as he saw a small tear leave your eye, rolling down your cheek.

“ yeah, no, I’m alright.” You smiled, wiping the tear away quickly.

“ You don’t look alright, love.” Charlie gripped onto your shoulder, “ lets go somewhere to talk.” You nodded following his lead to a random room in Eltons’ massive mansion.

Charlie was definitely your cast best friend. He was the youngest adult working on the set, aside from you. And despite him being in a relationship, you didn’t feel uncomfortable spending so much time with him as you did Taron and Jamie, both being in long term relationships.

“ So, what’s wrong y/n.” He asked softly. Both of you sitting down on the neatly made bed. The room looked as if it was for a guest, nothing seemed touched, and it was absolutely spotless.

You just shook your head at Charlie, “ it- it’s Rich.” You shrugged. Charlie nodded, instantly knowing what it was.

You had spoken to Charlie before about your massive crush on Richard, and Charlie understood but both of you agreed that the age gap might be too much for him to handle. “Hey,“ he grabs a hold of your hand, though it was in a friendly and comforting way, “ I know, its hard. He’s one of the most famous actors right now, and if anything came out about you two, it could ruin his career.” Charlie’s eyebrows knitted together, thinking of what he had said, “ but if you actually fancy him, proper like... I say.. go get him love.” Charlie turned to you, giving you a simpathetic smile.

You leaned over giving Charlie a kiss on the cheek. “ This is why you’re my best friend.” You then heard someone’s throat clearing, You and Charlie’s attention turned to the door. Richard.

Richard stood, leaning against the door frame, awkwardly looking at Charlie and You. “ Am I interrupting something?” His scottish accent, thick with annoyance. Charlie immediately got up, “ Nope, nope.” walking past Richard and leaving.

Richard walked into the room, shutting the door behind him and locking it. You knew exactly what was coming. “ How fucken’ dare you. I leave you alone for less than half an hour-“

Richard inched closer to you, looking at you with lust and anger within his eyes. “ mind telling me what the fuck that was about, dear?”

“ Rich, we were just, talking.” You assured, looking up at him as he stood, now inbetween your legs. “ just talking aye?” Richard bent down, meeting your level, wrapping his hand around your throat, squeezing at the sides. “ You don’t talk with you’re fuckin’ lips dear.” He bit down on his lip, before kissing you hard, hand still wrapped around your throat. You moaned into his mouth as he kissed you passionately, but with anger. That’s when something came over you, a wave of confidence, almost feeling insulted.

You pushed Richard off of you, your hands pushing on his chest, making him slightly fall back. “ y/n?” His tone came down ten notches, looking at you with worry, eyebrows knitted together. “ Don’t, y/n me Richard. You fucked off with some random girl and then expect me not to hang out with Charlie? When You know damn well that I have absolutely no interest in him! God bless his heart, but Richard, who have I seen everyday since filming? Who have I given up everything for ? And during filming, risking my fucking job! And for what? To have you fuck off and then get posssesive !? No fucking way.”

Richard was taken a back by your words, standing completely still and in shock for a good second. You got up off of the bed. Making your way towards the door, but stopping in front of him, to say something.

“ I’m done-“ and that’s when it happened, before you could utter another word, he grabbed your cheeks with his hands, pulling you into a kiss, and though you were angry, you still kissed back, unable to control yourself. He didn’t kiss you with anger anymore, it was passion filled, as if he was attempting to prove a point. Soon enough though, you both pulled away, forheads resting upon one another.

“ you make me lose my temper, ya know.” You barely whispered, almost as if you’d lost all the air in your body from the kiss.

“ We, are such a mess together,” he began, grinning. “But you are the only One I want.”

[kitten1618x]

GoT Afterthoughts ep. 08x01 ‘Winterfell’(Part 3)

Annnnd I’m back again! So where were we? Oh yes, back in Cersei’s boudoir...

~

The first thing I noticed is Cersei is drinking wine again. I’m still not 100% sure she was pregnant to begin with, guys. They were very secretive and ambiguous about the whole thing if you think back on it — and those leaks about her miscarrying turned out to be a wash.

~

Cersei is still salty about those damn elephants.

Same girl, saaaaame.

~

Euron wants to know how he compares to her past lovers. She strokes his massive ego a bit until he brings up Jaime—still a tender wound, she warns him to tread lightly, then simultaneously insults and compliments him as he lays a possessive hand on her stomach and declares he’s going to put a prince in her belly. She promptly dismisses him.

~

What’s striking here is that Cersei appears to be fighting off tears. Clearly, she didn’t want to sleep with Euron, but did so to keep him loyal to her. Love her or hate her, it’s sad to see her at such a desperate and low point where she’s basically whoring herself to keep an ally. Especially when Euron is such a wildcard, and now that he basically got exactly what he wanted—who’s to say he’ll stick around?

~

But, if you believe in political!jon, this is quite the parallel to Jon essentially doing the same to hold onto a wildcard ally in Dany.

~

I’m still not sold on a Cersei pregnancy/miscarriage guys...

~

While Euron is distracted, Theon and what remains of the Iron Born loyal to them, free Yara. She promptly headbutts him for leaving her ass, then helps him up. Now they’re even. 10/10 realistic sibling behavior. lol

~

Yara wants to head back to the Iron Islands, but senses Theon’s need to make amends to the Starks. She sends him to Winterfell with her blessing. I truly love these two as a strong family unit!! Gahhhhhh

~

We drop back into Winterfell where Lord Royce greets Alys Karstark and her people. And why this is necessary got me like 👀. Almost as much as why Alys was cast as a tall, red-headed girl... perhaps to fake a death scene of another important tall red-headed girl with the battle of Winterfell right around the corner?

~

Davos schools Tyrion and Varys on Northern stubbornness and loyalty. Then he proposes a marriage alliance between Jon and Dany if the world should survive. And fucken gag me, Dadvos... I expected better of you! lol I believe the words he uses are “a just woman and an honorable man.” And I’m sorry, it’s just hard for me to reconcile this statement with the same Davos who was extremely skeptical of the things Missandei was saying about Dany last season. Or the same Davos who looked extremely uncomfortable with Dany’s tantrum on the beach when she accused her hand Tyrion, of not wanting to murder his family... but, I digress.

~

We end this scene on Varys’ ominous words, sure to leave a bitter taste in your mouth: NOTHING LASTS. Drop those truth bombs, Varys.

~

A marriage alliance between a truly just woman and an honorable man is probably still in the cards... just sayin’.

~

We drop down from the battlements where Dany and Jon are strolling amongst the battle preparations. Of all the things they could be talking about: the wall falling, the issue of food shortages, etc. Dany brings up Sansa, of course. (no love triangle brewing here folks, none at all).

~

Dany licks her lips and looks around coyly, as if annoyed. “Your sister doesn’t like me.” — well neither did Bran really, or any of the northern lords, but it’s only Sansa’s name on Dany’s tongue—how curious. (Not really).

~

Jon’s eyes shift nervously before he turns to face her and sighs (because I’m telling you, he knew this was coming and it’s no coincidence that he’s kept his mouth shut and stayed out of the conflict). “She doesn’t know you.” Truth. He attempts a joke at how Sansa didn’t like him much either when they were growing up, but Dany isn’t amused.

~

“She doesn’t have to be my friend, but I am her queen. If she can’t respect me…” Dany leaves the threat and it’s implications hang in the air between them, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

~

Dark!dany is here, y’all.

~

I’m sure Dany stans and the jonerii are twisting themselves into pretzels to explain this away.

I mean, it’s not like Emilia herself didn’t warn us all that her character would be doing some ‘weird shit’ and we’d know when we saw it...

~

But Jon’s face here is strikingly similar to these various scenes...

And...

And...

Same. Ass. Energy. You do the math friends, but he’s certainly not looking upon her lovingly.

~

Luckily for Sansa and Jon, the Dothraki steal Dany’s attention to inform her of the livestock count of the dragons’ current dinner menu: 18 goats and 11 sheep. Dany looks alarmed—the dragons are barely eating. Barely. Do you have any idea how many people that amount of livestock could feed?

~

That’s why it’s really hard for me to not be critical of Dany’s character here. I realize she loves her dragons and they are her ‘children’, but in this moment she shows more empathy for the dragons lack of food (who truly can fly off and hunt) than that of the actual people who quite possibly could starve—and was irritated with Sansa for bringing it up.

~

And I will show this fucken gif as many times as I want because it’s so important!!

Food is so important. Don’t let the antis try and tell you otherwise.

~

Jon and Dany go to check on the dragons, and we have the scene we were treated to from the early released stills.

Jon asks what’s wrong with the dragons and Dany replies “they don’t like the North.” — and there is definitely a double meaning behind her words, as I don’t think Dany much likes the North, either. She climbs atop Drogon while Rhaegal expresses a curious interest in Jon.

~

“Go on.” Dany encourages Jon. Not the brightest move to give your bf of 10 minutes the keys to one of your WMD’s, and especially since there are surely much more important things to be done since being made aware that the wall is down and your other child is now a flying ice demon, but hey, joy ride time you crazy Targ kids!

~

So this must be the comedic scene the D’s talked about. I know everyone had mixed feelings about Jon riding a dragon, but I must say, I rather enjoyed this scene—except for the music, which for awhile seemed like a very jarring variation of the Truth theme. The music is very important in this show, so I’ll be curious to know when this pops up again, and where. Perhaps a dragon face off in another dance of dragons? Hmmm?

~

Drogon takes the lead, and Dany seems rather amused at scaring the pants off of Jon when she nose dives Drogon into a ravine and Rhaegal follows. Oh, but what’s this? Jon has realized he can control Rhaegal on his own, and brings the dragon in for a landing. Dany—a bit surprised at this—follows suit. Girl, you should be worried.

~

But she’s not, of course—at least not for long, because she’s busy being ‘twitterpated’ a’la a typical Disney flick, at the impressive place Jon chose to land—right beside an amazing waterfall. Props to loverboy, this is 10/10 primo scenery on the romance scale.

~

I would like to take a moment here to be petty af and point out that it is Daenerys that says the “we could stay here a thousand years” line—not Jon. And who could forget his super-romantic and witty come-back; complete in his Northern drawl: “we’d be pretty old.”

and Dany’s expression says everything! lol This from Mr. ‘I’d like to see you in a silk dress so I can tear it off you’. Pretty weak, Jon. You’re losing romance points for that!

~

Okay, but all joking aside, because I know a lot of my fellow Jonsas were probably a little put off by this scene; let’s break it down. After Jon’s crappy comeback, Dany moves closer to him, and he says something kind of flirtatious and sweet: “It’s cold up here for a southern girl.”

~

This is actually a very Jon-like thing to say, and I could even see this kind of banter between him and Ygritte. It’s also a very ‘equal’ thing to say—here, where no one is around, and formalities aren’t necessary. After all, had he said, “it’s cold up here for a southern queen,” it wouldn’t have had the same punch, now would it?

~

However, Dany has no interest in being Jon’s equal — even here, alone, her first instinct is to remind Jon she’s the queen: “then keep your queen warm” — not, “then this northern boy better keep her warm”, or “then keep your southern girl warm.” Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but that’s what hopped out at me.

~

Now the kiss. Sigh. Yes, I’m not gonna lie, it definitely looks like Jon’s into it. But my darling Jonsas, before you’re ready to throw Jon under the bus (as I imagine quite a few of you did while I took an entire week to write up my recap) the parent reveal hasn’t happened yet! Simmer down and find your zen, Jon is not a northern fool!

~

And for you antis lurking around: NO. This doesn’t negate political!jon. Not even a little bit. If political!jon is true, then he’s doing exactly what he committed to do—keeping Dany happy and keeping her North. The unfortunate trade-off is, she’s now their queen.

~

But what do we have here? Drogon seems a little restless, and Jon immediately breaks the kiss, and casts nervous eyes in the dragons direction. (Gods yes, this is so romantic). Dany laughs it off and tells Jon not to be afraid, pulling him back into the kiss. But while she’s all oblivious and lost in the kiss, Jon leans her body sideways and opens his eyes to eyeball Drogon, who’s giving him a look like ‘bitch, I know who you are, and I know what you’re doing. Watch your back.’

~

Is it a wonder why every single Jonerys love scene has been interrupted by weirdness? Bloody birth flashbacks, creepy brother voice-overs, no first kiss, growling stink-eyed Drogon... it’s almost like they’re trying to tell us that this isn’t really a romance.

~

And this is where I leave you, for now. The last part will follow shortly, and NO, I won’t break my future recaps into parts. I only did it this way because myself and half my house are sick.

[ravenofthefandoms]

Here are my thoughts on S8E2!

REAL QUICK THO AN ANGRY REMINDER

If you’re gonna post about an episode after watching the leak TAG UR SHIT I saw way too many spoilers and literally two hours before it aired. If you can’t tag ur shit then don’t post at all until it’s over. At least then most people have seen it. If you don’t tag ur shit then ur legally an asshole so be careful

ANYWAYS Thoughts from S8E2:

- Hi yeah did Dany kinda forget that her dad was the Mad King or is she just gonna act like she’s the only one with the right to want Jaime dead?

- Also I love how she’s like “your sister lied to me wut you gonna do about it”

- She needs to step oFF of Tyrion

- I hope Jaime really does slit Dany’s throat tbh how great would that be

- Bran is great fuckin hilarious

- YAS BRIENNE DEFEND YO MANZ

- God I love Sansa so freaking much 😭 she actually values her advisors opinions unlike another queen I know

- I love how Dany expects Jon to be like “yeah babe whatever you want” and then he’s like “nah Sansa’s right”

- Grey Worm I love you but you’re not intimidating buddy I’m sorry

- Jonno does a 10/10 walkout

- Tyrion you don’t deserve this work environment abuse go give your wisdom to someone else who deserves it

- Mmmmmmm Gendry what a man

- “It’s strong enough” what ur dick?

- “What do they smell like?” What kinda question is that wtf

- PSA: sharp objects handled by Arya Stark turn on Gendry pass it on

- Arya Stark, Queen of BDE

- Fuck yes I love this Bran and Jaime reunion

- Bran is like it’s chill tbh it’s like a good thing that you pushed me out the window and made me a cripple cuz now we’re here and I’m a magical motherfucker

- Bran is the most understanding person ever after he became the Three Eyed Raven

- “She’s your new queen too” mmm no

- Actually, contrary to popular belief Tyrion, it’s not hard to blame her

- Tyrion is both smart and a dumbass at the same time how the fuck

- Jaime’s like a dog who just heard a squirrel like “????brienne?????”

- Podrick isn’t a boy anymore HE IS MY MANZ AND HUSBAND AND HOLY FUCK HE GOT HOT SO FAST LIKE THE LIGHT FACIAL HAIR? WET. SWORD FIGHTING SKILLS? WET.

- Awww Brienne and Jaime are like the awkward high schoolers who have a thing for each other

- Why does Jorah still call her Khaleesi

- I’m glad Jorah isn’t a dumb bitch. Like he literally betrayed Dany to her brother’s killer and she still forgave him but Tyrion decides to trust his sister for once??? Nope he fucked up too bad not trustworthy

- Uhhh the position wasn’t Jorah’s to be stolen

- This scene is proof that Daensa will never happen and I am glad for it

- “I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisors” uhh??? Maybe get some new advisors then??? You should trust them??? That’s why they’re your advisors????

- PREACH SANSA CLAPBACK ON THAT BITCH BEING A HYPOCRITE

- Uh no a) the northerners accept Sansa pretty well they actually like her and b) you’re not doing a damn good job of it dumb bitch

- Uh the family that destroyed Sansa was your family dumb bitch

- Is this bitch really making the excuse that she was manipulated?¿?

- This bitch big stupid

- This scene literally reminds me of high school like Dany literally reminds me of those fake ass bitches who were sickly sweet just to get what they want from me like wtf Dany is so obviously fake that it makes me cringe

- BREAKER OF CHAINS MY ASS THE NORTH BROKE THEIR OWN CHAINS AND NOW YOU WANNA PUT THEM BACK ON DUMB BITCH EHHA (read that ehha as Cardi B)

- THEOOOOOOON YAS

- I love how he just ignores Dany and is like SANSA I WANNA SERVE U BB

- Suddenly I ship Theonsa

- This Theonsa hug is all I have ever needed in life

- Isn’t that the thief from Merlin?

- I love that little Irish girl who’s like “imma fight give me a sword” like is this Arya 2.0??

- I heart Gilly

- “I’ll defend the crypt then” YES YOU WILL LIL HUNNY YOU’LL DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT TOO

- EDDAAAAAAAY AND TORMUND YAS MY FAVE BITCHES

- Tormund is like surprise bitch you getta hug me first

- Beric is basically that cool as fuck and chill as hell uncle

- “The big woman”

- We love a Jon Snow pep talk

- Bran is like “hi yeah I’d like to be uhhh bait”

- Damn Samwell you didn’t have to flex on us like that with that deep thinking aight

- YES THEON REDEMPTION ARC AS FUCK

- Noooooo let Tyrion fight you ain’t his boss bitch (I mean you are but)

- Need it for what? Taking over the north?

- “No one’s ever tried” hehe I’m in danger

- Stark fam looking badass as fuck

- Walkout #2 isn’t as smooth but still acceptable

- “It’s a long story” bitch I got time start talking

- I CACKLED when those girls walked away from Missandei like I felt bad but that was just such a “you can’t sit with us” moment

- CAN GREY WORM AND MISSANDEI JUST GO TO NARTH AND STAY THERE FOREVER AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE

- WE WILL PROTECT YOU IM CRYINGGGGG

- Ghost is that you homie????

- Awww the Nights Watch reunion made me tear up a lil

- Sam’s like “I AINT NO BITCH I KILLED A WHITE WALKER KILLED A THENN AND STOLE BOOKS FROM THE CITADEL IM THE BADDEST BITCH AROUND”

- I love this banter with my whole entire heart

- i miss grenn and pyp so much I’m crying grenn was my pre-Pod husband

- I love Lannister brother moments so much they are so pure

- Oprah is handing out redemption arcs left and right wOw

- PODRICK HE IS A MAN NOW HE IS MY HUSBAND HE IS JUST SO SEXY NOW

- CACKLINGGGGG “half a cup” pours in half the wine jug

- What a squad

- TORMUND MAKES ME LAUGH SO FUCKIN MUCH

- He’s the awkward kid who tells weird stories and then does weird shit

- “Kingslayer get it right” - Jaime on the inside

- Everyone just has a “wtf” look on their face and I’m dying

- I. AM. CACKLING. AT. TORMUND. SEND HELP

- I fucking love Sandor with my entire heart and soul

- “I fought for you didn’t I?” Touche you got her there

- *sandor doesn’t get to sit by himself* fINE WHY DOESNT THE WHOLE FUCKING NORTH COME SIT BY ME TOO HUH IF YOU ALL WANT TO. CROWD. ME HUH???

- “I’m not gonna sit with you old shits I’m gonna go fuck a bull I mean uhhhhh I gotta go ”

- Arya being lowkey jealous makes me cackle like a witch

- “Is that your first time?” “Well yeah Arya I don’t put leeches all over my dick every time I get home wtf”

- YES ARYA GET THAT DICK HUNTY YASS RIDE HIM TO STORMS END HUNTY YAAAAAAS

- ARYA IS DOM AND GENDRY IS SUB PASS IT ON

- Arya having her first time be CONSENSUAL and with someone she loves makes me happy as fUCK

- GENDRY IS THE PUREST MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR (only after Pod though)

- All I want at this point in my life is for Podrick to hold me in his big strong arms like I just wanna cuddle him fUCK

- “Not a Ser?? Why the fuck not get outta here with that bullshit”

- “I never wanted to be a knight” Podrick: I call bULLSHIT

- Tormund is supportive of Brienne even when she’s dating another guy he doesn’t even care

- WE WAITED SO LONG FOR BRIENNE AND JAIME TO HAVE A ROMANTIC AND INTIMATE MOMENT AND WE GOT AND BRIENNE EVEN GOT WHAT SHE DESERVES OUT OF IT

- Podrick is Brienne’s proud son I am living for it

- BRIENNE’S SMILE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS THING ON THIS WHOLE ENTIRE EARTH IT MUST BE PROTECTED

- Honestly Tormund just wants to see Brienne happy and successful and tbh I don’t think he would care if that meant that she was with Jaime

- I stg if anything happens to babygirl Lyanna i will throw fists she looks like such a little bad ass in her armor omg she’s adorable

- Yeah Jorah you don’t gotta wield it in Randals memory he was kind of an asshole

- Can Podrick sing me to sleep every night please holy fUCK

- Theonsa? Check. Gendrya? Check. Grey Worm and Missandei? Check. Podrick making my whole self thirsty for him? Check.

- Uhhh Daenerys are you not gonna be concerned that you were idk fuckin your nephew or maybe that you aren’t the last Targaryen???? Maybe something important like that not the Iron fucking Throne???

- This bitch really thinks that Bran and Sam were lying hAh she drank a lot of dumb bitch juice this episode

- Daenerys is like those anti-vaxxers or flat earthers who refuse to see the facts

- Fun fact: episode 3 is going to tear out my heart and soul, put them in a blender, and then fucken shook it until it exploded like a coke with a mento in it

- I read somewhere that said something to the effect of characters who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it and that sounds like Dany w/ the Mad King to me rn

- Honestly every time Dany talked in this episode I got pissed off so that’s not good

- People be like “aw this episode was so boring” like bITCH ARE YALL MISSING THESE GREAT DOMESTIC MOMENTS?? GAME OF THRONES ISNT ALL STABBY AND SHIT IT CAN BE NICE FOR ONCE

- This episode made my heart full and I’m going to cry

- Ummmmm in case y’all haven’t seen in Dan Portman (Podrick) posted on his Instagram and it may or may not be a spoiler and if it is then I’ll kill myself

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

Black Panther, 2018 (dir. Ryan Coogler)

Nominated for: Best Original Score, Best Original Song, Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Costume Design, Best Production Design, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing

ok y’all lets get this party started with a movie i didnt get to catch in theaters (i think i ended up renting it) but people were absolutely raving about it all of last year, and for good reason i gotta say!  it was one of the better marvel films that came out last year (though in my humble opinion Infinity War takes the gold)

speaking of marvel lets talk about it for a spell!  lets have a lil sit-down chit-chat shall we!!  cause its kind of insane how much of an american media phenomenon marvel has become, they are arguably single-handedly responsible for reviving the superhero movie subgenre and now these types of movies bring hollywood more dineros than they probably know what to do with (besides make more superhero movies).  what used to be a niche market where only your most hardcore of nerdy types dared to dwell has been embraced into the mainstream wholeheartedly, and now its hard to imagine the american film industry without them. 

from a film critique standpoint, marvel movies seem to be a hit-or-miss as far as quality, however i cant really think of a particular marvel movie that i thought was a total piece of hot garbage (the first two Thor movies come close but they were more boring than anything else).  however last year was a real success for the studio, they just kept pumping out quality movies left and right and once disney managed to get its grubby lil mouse paws on Spider-man it was a done deal baby.  DC and other companies have tried again and again to recreate the success that Marvel has managed and so far they’ve failed to various degrees.  Marvel’s just got that special something with their cinematic universe, some magical combo of great actors and creative directors and an ever-expanding budget that keeps them staying at the top every time.

so whats my stance on superhero movies???  well theyre not my usual cup of tea but i gotta say they’re real damn entertaining.  i kinda view them like a high-speed ride at an amusement park, super fun and thrilling and exhilarating and just a real good time!  but thats about as far as it goes for me, and im sure thats the same for a lot of people.  to be honest its kinda refreshing to have movies that quality-wise are up to my standards that i dont have to think too hard about.  so for me the movies i typically go for are like museums, whereas superhero movies (and action movies in general) are like a carnival.  both entertaining and fun, but the latter is just all about letting loose and not wondering about the why’s and how’s.  when i think about it, this kinda mindset is for sure a factor in how these movies got so popular, because with the shitshow that is our current government and the potential imminent death of our planet people are once again looking for movies as a form of escapism, rather than a way to get deep and philosophical and ask the tough questions and see something profound. 

with that being said, despite some exceptions that have proven me wrong to my utter joy and delight (im looking at u Logan), i expect movies that are nominated for wiener awards to be more like museums than like carnivals y’know what i mean?  u catchin my drift???  u takin what im dishin out????  the academy awards have a long history of prestige, of nominating the best of the best of any given year. quite a few movies that won oscars are now considered to be timeless classics.  which is why superhero movies, at least the typical marvel types that are chocked to the brim with CGI and epic massive fight scenes and explosions, dont really strike me as anything that could eventually become a timeless classic.  the amount of computer-generated effects alone will make these movies feel really dated as soon as like five years from now with how fast technology is progressing.  i just dont see it happening.

and that brings us to the first wiener award nominee ill be talking about, Black Panther.  this isnt director Ryan Coogler’s first time at the rodeo; his first feature film Fruitvale Station received critical acclaim in 2013, and the spiritual Rocky sequel Creed actually got nominated for some oscars a few years ago.  so we’ve got a promising and talented director at the helm which is a great start!  we’ve also got a stellar cast with the likes of michael b. jordan (who has been in all of Coogler’s films so far), lupita nyong’o, angela bassett, and forest whitaker in the bunch.  it also has the astronomical financial backing of Supreme Overlord Disney so u know this is gonna be some high-quality shit.

so i’m gonna tell y’all why i think this movie got nominated for so many oscars, because in a way i do think this movie is deserving of noms from the academy.  theres no denying that it is very groundbreaking for a movie of this scale and magnitude to have a black director and a nearly all-black cast.  in fact, i think a lot of the crew members (including set and costume design) were black as well.  thats fuckin huge my guy.  and this movie was by no means a flop either; it ended up being one of the highest-grossing films of 2018 and stayed in theaters for a loooong-ass time.  and not only were the people on this project mostly black, the movie itself is a story praising and showing off the beauty of african culture without exotifying or demeaning it in any way.  like i can say 100% without a doubt that this movie deserves its best costume design nom cause holy shit the outfits in this movie are stunning, just the perfect blend of ancient/current tribal african aesthetics and a more futuristic sleek style that any fashion enthusiast can drool over.

i cant say much about best musical score or best sound mixing or anything like that cause it all seemed like typical marvel stuff to me and wasnt all that memorable.  however i can say that the production design on this movie, while it didnt impress me as much as costuming, did still impress me.  the one thing i gotta knock it on is all the fucken CGI, like whole entire towns and landscapes were digitally rendered.  i wouldve been a lot more impressed and would agree more to the production design nom if they used more practical effects and real sets/locations. 

so.  best picture.  this is where i feel the most conflicted.  cause this is where i now have to look past all the pretty fancy visuals and music and look at the actual meat of this movie, its story and characters.  usually best picture noms also get noms for things like best actress, best script, and best director, cause those are all really important elements of a good film.  ur movie can look and sound as pretty as it wants but if the storys shit and the characters are shit and the actings shit then u dont have much going for u.

and by no means am i saying that Black Panther was shitty in these aspects, it was just well.  passable.  it was ok.  but nothing to write home about

we got some good performances from newcomers letitia wright and chadwick boseman, lupita kills it as always, but then everyone else was like.  okay.  michael b. jordan didnt really do his best in this and idk if its the script’s fault or something but it was weird.  and speaking of the script it was uuuuhhhhh well.  not great.  every time i think about that “what are those” reference i die a little inside.  and the story overall wasnt really anything new when u break it down, just another “son of king struggles to take his place” narrative.  and that aspect of the story couldve actually been more developed into something interesting, i found myself really intrigued with the political scenes.  but there just wasnt enough of that cause they needed to make more room for the PEW PEW POW EXPLOSIONS

granted, movies with lots of shimmer but little substance have been nominated for best picture before (just look at James Cameron’s Avatar which is apparently getting a sequel now????????).  and its not even that this movie is completely devoid of substance cause theres some interesting things going on plot-wise, and some stand-out characters too (shuri is the boss and no one can tell me otherwise).  its just, u know, a good superhero movie.  nothing really profound about the story itself except for the cultural, historical, and social context behind it.

so lemme get back to why i think this movie got a best picture nom.  i think the academy wants to keep up their appearance of being #woke now by continuing to nominate more than one poc-heavy project each year, but they seem to be caring less and less about the actual overall quality of these movies.  and theres even some movies on the noms list that i think actually have what it takes to be a strong oscars contender, like If Beale Street Could Talk and BlacKkKlansmen.  but i think in Black Panther’s case, they were under a lot of pressure to give it top noms (or any noms at all) because of the intensely positive response this movie got, as well as the accusations of racism to people who didnt think it was as great as fans were saying. 

also i have no doubt that Supreme Overlord Disney like threw piles and piles of money at the academy like they tend to do (cause i’d bet good money thats the only fucken way Incredibles 2 got nominated for anything)

well anyway ive gone on long enough about this, lemme know what y’all think.  really the only nom im iffy about when it comes to this movie is Best Picture, but the others i think are well enough deserved, especially costume design.  so i guess the one thing i struggle with is this: does a movie becoming a pop culture phenomenon and being groundbreaking in its cast and crew count as enough for it to be nominated for the top prize of the wiener awards, despite any fallbacks in script, direction, and acting?  idk man im just hoping it doesnt get the award by default or something but then again maybe after watching all the other nominees it may turn out that the rest of them were worse than Black Panther i guess i’ll have to find out

stay tuned for my A Star Is Born review y’all stay fresh and funky eat ur vegetables stay in school u dont need drugs when ur high on life

[ennaih]

Thoughts on It (2017)

Asshole audiences need to read the fucken book before they laugh at things they really shouldn’t be laughing at, fucken jerks

Bill Skarsgard was wonderful. I enjoyed his performance so much I actually found myself more than once secretly cheering Pennywise on. “Yeah, you go, man! You fill the room and scare the hell out of these kids, you DO YOU SWEETIE!”

I was so angry at what they did to Mike’s history. His relationship with his father is SO IMPORTANT in the book. He actually does have a functional home life, how dare they -- way to go to shaft the only black character!

Really didn’t care for how pretty and sexualised Beverly was in the movie. Like I don’t remember her being quite so beautiful in the book, and there was definitely no flirting with the goddamned pharmacist. Having said that, I liked that they didn’t shy away from the sexual grossness with her dad nor the blood stuff. And I found her vengeful violence very satisfying.

DEAAAADDDDLIIIIIIGHHHHHHTS we saw deadliiiiighhhhhtsss that made me so happy

I am now very inappropriately turned on by Owen Teague. I did not expect that. I was totally distressed when they cast him as Patrick Hockstetter who scared the fuck out of me in the book. But oohhhhh my sweet lord how very Nick Cave has our Owen Teague become. His creepy smile was too beautiful. I went all hot in the face and started silently lecturing myself about age differences and that I was prolly fifteen when he was born. *googles* JESUS I WAS EIGHTEEN. So gross. But so pretty.

It’s kinda hilarious how if you’ve seen Mama, Andy Muschietti’s first feature, then one of the horror creatures looks very familiar indeed.

The music was excellent

I loved how certain future events have been totally flagged by certain shots in this film. Like the Paul Bunyan statue that made me laugh very darkly to myself. And the shots of the main street of Derry which totally flashed me forward.

They better cast the adults well. The Vulture fancast totally nails it, yes please to all

deaaaaaadddddlllllllliiiiiiigghhhhhhhtsssss

I’m so glad I read the book first. Cos if I hadn’t, that movie would have totally given me a stroke. I would have actually died in that cinema from sheer terror. But because I had read the book, I realised very quickly that I knew almost every single thing that was going to happen and that totally made me relax into it. I already knew of the major change with Stanley. The major change with Mike had me going “What?” with very loud indignation in the cinema.

I liked that they kept the fact that the people in Derry were so contaminated by the evil. But I didn’t like how they shortchanged the horrible stuff that had happened, namechecking them instead of going into the detail. But then time constraints, I suppose. Maybe that stuff will be more explored in the second film.

I wonder how much the second film will go into the domestic violence aspect

I hated that fucking stun gun so much! It was so WRONG I wanted the slingshot back so badly ... 

I hated how they changed the placebo revelation to Eddie. The way it’s done in the book is so delicate and compassionate and heartbreaking. This was crass as fuck.

I wish there was more time in the Barrens. I regret the loss of the dam the Losers built.

Ben was just perfectly written and perfectly played in this version

deaaaadddddd ... liiiighhhtsss ... were so prettttyyyy

Even though they cut the home scenes with Henry Bowers and his dad, I thought the movie did a really good job of showing us how just traumatised he was by that relationship. I needed that.

How much this movie adaptation was about absent parents and abusive parents and kids finding their own agency against abusive adults

except, you know, Mike’s parents are really quite lovely in the book

I kinda missed the werewolf

I think I’m going to sleep quite well tonight, actually

[dachi-chan25]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 6 Recap Pt. 1

Oh boy… I need to vent again, I’m sorry, but thanks to everyone reading this, it’s a cathartic experience if anything.

WARNINGS: SPOILERS; Not a D@€ny fan, but if you follow me you already know that and if you don’t no problem that’s why I always warn you about it; Jonsa shipper and still growing strong ( I always loved the Tyrell OK???)

Before diving into the recap:

1.- The toughts, tinfoily wishy washy stuff, analysis, random stuff that I write are my own only, and in no form or way am I trying to convince you that I am right and every body else is wrong, I have been wrong about fandom stuff a LOT, and really it’s just fun for me to do this, anyway I am open to debate if you want just be respectful. Feel free to correct me if you notice I have some facts I present wrong, I will never get mad about it and will even thank you for your insight.

2.- The analysis/opinions I express of certain ships/characters are just my opinion as an audience, if you like the ship/characters good! That’s what makes the fandom experience such a diverse thing, and I have nothing against you. Keep on loving the thing you love!

3.- The Salt Throne and I are one entity of pure undiluted Salt and bitterness,if you don’t wish to subject yourself to reading my salty fangirl rants I completely understand.

—————

1.- We start on that table-map, helI feel I condemned myself saying I didn’t wanted no more close-ups of the thing, anyway so it’s just a pretty shot to get to where the story (plot? What plot?) really pick’s up: Eastwatch by the sea.

We are with the suicide squad on this show’s dumbest mission, but then again this season a lot of dumb things happened so I am resigned. Yeah so Jon and Tormund are talking about how dumb this mission is (got is breaking the fourth wall now???) while Gendry is freezing, Tormund is happy to be back North of the Wall cuz the air in the south is shit, Jon is like bih you never went south but really is agreeing actually Jon seems much more himself now that he is in the North again. Tormund and Jon tease Gendry about making do with him cuz there are no ladies here (ahaha joking about experiencing homosexual sex but no homo bro it’s just because we have no ladies amirite? Am I watching got or the big b4ng th€or¥?) and you know what else they don’t have?? Horses, and food, and those pesky dragonglass weapons, and a raven to send for help should anything happen… But no ladies are the priority. (*sigh* this show is so painfully obviously written by man) Gendry apparently believes them and goes away, Tormund comments he isn’t very bright, he needn’t be says Jon cuz they need the brawn and not the brains right? No this stupid ass mission could have seriously used some brains.

Anyway this next convo of conversations was very intresting to hear, not because they add anything to the plot (if such a thing exists anymore in this show) but I think they are important in understanding the theme they have in common and the relevance I think they have in the final scenes of the episode.

First we have a Tormund/Jon convo, our funny redhead asks about the Dragon Queen, and I expected they would use this chance to make some crude remark about her beauty or her body (dude not a second ago they were joking about bedding Gendry!!) but no, the conversation never goes in the direction that could further the idea of Jon’s attraction to D, Jon trusts Tormund and it would be normal for bros to discuss this stuff (remember how Jon giggled about Tormund mentioning Brienne last episode), instead a very weary and frustrated Jon states she (D) wouldn’t help unless he bends the knee, Tormund says that won’t happen cuz Jon spent so much time with the Wildings to be a kneeler again, but then he moves on to talk about Mance Ryder (dude this Jon/Mance parallels are hitting me in the face like a cold fish, I know D&D I noticed! You haven’t been subtle about this!!! You used the same FUCKING dialogue) and how the dude could have saved a lot of lives if he just had let go of his pride and knelt (so Tormund is our Jon in this parallel ain’t he?) it just made me laugh that Tormund, a wildling cuz they are still Free Folk and rule themselves even if they have an alliance with the KitN, is the one to suggests kneeling, but then I realized how big of a fucken deal that is, Mance could have saved those lives yes (and that’s mere speculation honestly cuz Stannis and his army could have also died at Hardhome #just saying) but he decided keeping his people’s will was more important, Jon respected that to the point he defyied Stannis (they needed his help and dude had just saved them) openly by killing Mance, and now Tormund who is kind of the new Free Folk king/leader is saying it would have been OK if he knelt to save everyone’s lives in front of Jon whom is in a very similar situation.

Then we get a Jorah/Jon convo, again perfect oportunity to show them as D’s love interests and rivals, or for Jorah to wax poetic about Khaliiisi and Jon being jealous or some shit. Some serious talk, if we had time in this compact season for Jon to threaten (or pardon) every man who ever crossed paths with Sansa, why Gendry or the Hound haven’t mentioned Arya at all, if logic states that she is someone this people have in common and should talk about? (like Theon asking about Sansa, or Tyrion) Why Jorah doesn’t talk about D if Jon is her new love interest and it would be a nice and neat contrast between the two of them? Instead they disscus another people they have in common, ex-Lord Commander Jeor Mormont and Ned Stark, oh yes they talk about their dads, Jon says how wonderful was Jorah’s dad and how awful was his death, while Jorah said it must have been heartbreaking for his dad whose entire life was the NW and Jon talks about Ned “the goodest most honorable man ever” dying like a traitor for his honor and pride (like I sense a pattern, can you tell? Gods D&D are too subtle guys) and goes as far as to say he is glad his dad didn’t kill Jorah (you know making him pay for his crime in a just honorable way). Honestly what was the point of this conversation if not that survival is most important than honor? The writers (through Jon) are celebrating that Jorah survived even if he has done sketchy awful things (among them he conspired to have D and her baby killed so he would be allowed to go back to Westeros).

Right we get an intresting end to this convo, Jon offers Jorah Longclaw (why would he give him the sword if he is gonna need it right now in the stupid ass Wight hunt? Why didn’t he gave it to Lady Lyanna Mormont, she has presumably begun training cuz she said to Lord Glover she wasn’t gonna sit by the fire while the man defended the North??? Why would he give it to someone if Jeor gave it to him cuz he didn’t wanted Jorah to have it???) but the point of the conversation it’s not the sword, because Jorah rejects it, it’s about planting the possibility of children in Jon’s future. people have been screaming Targ baby to the heavens and back, and if that is what you chose to belive alright, but I think not, if that was the case wouldn’t it be appropiate to have the Targ theme or the J/D song in the background and transition to DS where D talks about children with Tyrion like she does in a future scene? I would have believed it then. But instead we have the Stark theme and the scene transitioning to Arya and SANSA, call me delusional if you want but for me this is another check in the ‘targcest is building up tarbowl’ column.

Summarizing this we get the very bright neón message of Honor=Death. Which I’ll bring back later.

2.- Y'all remember those good times when the WF storyline was the only thing getting me through all the bullshit I was being fed by D&D? Well they’re over. As I said in point 1 we get a transition of Arya and Sansa looking down at the courtyard while Arya talks about how Ned watched the boys training and tries to diminish Sansa’s connection to her family by stating she was surely too busy sewing to know that (have fun freezing your limbs off darling!!! Sewing and Knitting and all those “delicate female” activities you sniff at are the reason you have clothes miss, really I can’t with this where is the Arya that thought woman to be of equal importance than man?) Sansa is having none of that and says she remembers, we get a cute memory of Arya practicing archery in secret and Ned approving (we get again nods to the patriarchy is wrong! But this is sloppy as fuck if D&D make Arya feel superior to non-warrior inclined girls, like that is also misogynistic) Sansa is smiling fondly (she at this point is more of a feminist icon than any other girl in this show, make no mistake she is not upset or resentful of warrior girls, she approved with a smile when Lyanna said girls on Bear Island were going to be trained too, and she smiles at the memory Arya is sharing with her of defying the rules and practicing archery cuz that made her happy) but then things take a turn for worse when Arya said that Ned is dead cuz Sansa helped the Lannisters. I never asked for this bullshit!!! Not even Ned blamed Sansa for anything, even if Sansa hadn’t alerted her Cersei was gonna kill Robert to protect herself and her children, Ned died for Joffrey’s cruelty (he wasn’t even supposed to die, he was to be sent to the Wall) and yes Sansa had a role to play in the chain of events that led to that, but Sansa had no way of knowing that, she only tried to save her family! The smile gets wiped from my girl’s face she is completely at loss. Arya takes out the letter and starts reading it out, even when Sansa asks her to stop cuz she already knows what does the letter say (wow I can’t belive D&D keep on triggering Sansa through her siblings, FUCKING disgusting) Arya is being unnecessary cruel, blaming Sansa for being powerless to stop their father’s death when she herself was equally powerless, like????? D&D are pushing this Starkbowl bs cuz this is got and nothing can be nice for 2 sec. But really this shit has no basis, you have Wight Hunt Team people who have literally killed each other or tried to working together and joking and then have two sisters who went through hell and back fighting cuz one of them thinks the other survived KL by being a princess in a tower??? Like how is this logical? Even if this is a cleverly crafted Arya plot (I think there is some logic to this) to kill LF is not fair for Sansa, god can’t she have good things on her life? D&D took away the safety of her home by marrying her off to Ramsey and have him rape her in her HOME, and now they make her family treat her one like a stranger and the other like shit???? I’m not asking for Arya to thank Sansa on her knees like she suggested (if anything Sansa was super brave standing her ground and defending her possition and everything she did to retake their home) I don’t want everyone to worship her as they do certain someone all I am asking for is respect and safety for someone who deserves it! Really and Arya suggesting Lyanna Mormont would go for Sansa’s throat why yes she is a child, one that has lost a lot with all this fucking wars but still a child that lacks the knowledge of the true game of thrones and what it takes to survive it, like you Arya (doesn’t she remembers she was cupbearer to Tywin who literally was responsible for the murder of her brother and mother? This is actually what leads me to think this is a ploy cuz Arya is not a hypocrite as far as we’ve seen) still this was painful to watch if you love the Starks.

Anyway leaving my frustration with this cheap drama aside, did anyone notice the parallels between the Arya and Sansa confrontation and the Jon/Tormund and Jon/Jorah conversations? The Wight Hunt Team was talking about great honorable man whose honor and moral code brought their downfall and in the Sansa and Arya, the youngest sister was blaming the eldest for having no honor and surviving (she goes as far as to say she would have rather died than betray her family) while Sansa defends what she did and shows how far she has come from paying the game.

Again this thing is not subtle at all.

———

This is too long so Part 2 is coming!

[kiwiwatermelonsupreese]

Snicketwatch Day 1: Thoughts on The Bad Beginning

Under the cut for spoilers

- The whole thing feels SUPER Pushing Daisies. Not just aesthetically, but also in the banter between characters. Especially the whole ‘hey what’s the thing Einstein said’, that feels a lot like Pushing Daisies dialogue to me.

- Violet’s inventions are so cool in this but like...you have to wonder why she felt the need to put a toaster in the clock. like wouldn’t the toast fall on the floor??

- I LOVE that they use the old-timey title cards and the iris in/out effect. It’s so kitschy and it really vibes with the look of the show. really the way this is edited as a whole is very retro. it feels like an old disney film, or maybe like La La Land with 900 times more irony.

- MR POE’S EMO SON !!! HE’S EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED !! and when he asks Violet if they burned the house down oh my god...the bit about one of them going on to live in a cave made me laugh really hard.

- I KNEW THAT BLUE BIRD WAS GONNA GET FUCKIGN WRECKED...but I didn’t expect it to get swooped by a crow. I honestly was expecting the power lines. I jumped.

- Count Olaf is just...everything I wanted him to be. he’s legitmately revolting and horrible but JUST entertaining enough that I don’t want to fast forward through every scene he’s in (which has happened to me with other villains on other shows) It’s really a testament to NPH’s ability as an actor that I was alternately cackling and recoiling in horror at everything he did.

- I’m assuming that this is because of some law regarding portraying substance abuse in family shows, but I feel like they’ve replaced Olaf’s constant obvious day drinking with him stealing people’s food. like they imply he’s an alcoholic, but I guess they can’t show him actually drinking excessively, so instead they have him eat a whole lamb leg in 5 minutes. I’m not complaining, because I think it fits his character, but it’s still weird. like I always associate eating a lot with getting stoned.

- I didn’t think this show could come up with a line that topped the iconic ‘I am an Italian man’. That was before I knew about ‘Yessica Haircut’.

- I actually really like Jaquelyn?? I'm always skeptical of new characters introduced into existing franchises but thankfully Jaquelyn’s subplot adds to the story rather than overshadowing it.

- also I’m getting used to Tara Strong dubbing Sunny. I see the benefits of doing so from an efficiency standpoint (you can’t really get a baby to do anything) but it’s still kinda skeevy

- Justice Strauss is so tragic in this show!! I felt so much more for her in the series than I ever did in the movie. maybe it’s just because I adore Joan Cusack.

- Olaf’s song made me cringe so hard I had to mute it the second time I watched that episode.

- THE NAMES IN THE TUNNEL !!! I YELLED

- All of the Jewish references are exactly what I meant when I said I wanted the show to have some cultural flair. but it’s really icky that olaf comes off more jewish than the rest of them.

-Olaf’s preparations for the marriage made me really uncomfortable. he just got way too into it...like way too into it. I legitimately shrieked out loud when he said ‘I can touch whatever I want’ mercifully they left out 'my bride and i are off to go enjoy our honeymoon’ but even without it....Neil as Olaf is a huge disgusting pedo.

- Fernald is a fuckign gift as usual. ‘say your prayers, or don’t, if you’re athiests’ that’s m boy. also I like that they include his affinity for card games this early on in the series. but I’m still mad that they didn’t get a real double amputee to play him because hOLY SHIT those prosthetic arms look SO FAKE on him???

- I miss the marvelous marriage from the film deleted scenes....it was a better piece of theatre.

- ‘I AM LEAPING IN THE AIR PHYSICALLY BECAUSE OF HOW HAPPY I AM’ fucken champion

- they kept the ‘flips the lights off and runs away’ thing god bless

- I’m slowly warming up to the idea of Beatrice and Bertrand being alive but I’m not commiting because Lemony Snicket could very easily kill them off for real or have them turn out to be total randos, because he’s the troll lord.