#many MANY more people than initially believe have looked into my garbage dump of an exhibit. :DDDDDDDDDDDD

[crownedflora]

[feastfic]

Setting down some quick ideas for Spamton because this little man is completely consuming my brain- and also he's just so??? Ridiculously fun to think about :)

Like for example!!! I know that some other people believe he's related to the Addisons and honestly me too ^-^ My idea is that he's the oldest of them all, and the four Addisons we see are a set of quadruplets :0!!!

When they were all younger Spamton's siblings would look up to him- he was their cool older brother with a dream after all; he'd always wanted to make it big, it was something he was always told he was meant to do. They were proud of him when he finally made it with [[SOMEONE]] to help him.

And personally I think that- especially for these guys of all Addisons- there wasn't a lot of supervision for them when they were still getting themselves figured out and all that. Mostly left to themselves, Spamton, being the eldest, was the one who made sure they were all kept in line and in check until they found their footing in advertisement and sales. (It also just hurts a bit extra when you think about how they stopped talking to him because they got jealous :''') ) For a single guy, who probably has no idea what he's doing, he did a decent job of making decent people out of all of them.

His siblings all have names too! It typically ties into what they sell- they all were referred to by Addison until they figured out what they were going to make a profit off of; however to differentiate they used their colors as well- "Addison Blue"; "Blue"/"Bluey"; and other variants like that for each other. They all also got to name themselves once they settled down :)

(The rest is under a read more, because it's a bit more depressing. So don't read it if you aren't here for that <:) )

Spamton became a name only after he got the call from [a trusted business partner!] and things became a bit tense with him and his siblings. It initially started when one of them called him a cheat, because they were the first to be jealous of him and how quickly he flew up in business. Eventually it just stuck, and as Spamton began using more legitimate scams (as a car salesman he had to lie as a part of his job, but never to this degree before. And never with what he tries doing with Kris before, either) it fit him more than anything else. He doesn't exactly hold any qualms to how he got this name for himself- after all nobody really goes to him anymore, in the dump- so he came to a nihilistic acceptance of it between his desperation to become a [[BIG SHOT]] again.

A little part of Spamton's shop in the trash heap is dedicated to his siblings. It isn't much, and even though he doesn't really seem to acknowledge the little posters of his siblings that were thrown out, sometimes he talks to their printed faces like they were real and right there with him. A lot of the time he talks to them like he would when they went out, about how he can still make it big and rise back to the top.

Other times, though...he just apologizes. In moments of depressed clarity like when he talks about Mike, he seems perfectly aware of how things got to his head and how his own drive was ultimately what pushed his siblings away.

He has many frequent periods where he believes his phone is actually ringing even when it isn't; even then he still hopes it's Mike/his [valued friend] and sometimes has completely one-sided "conversations" with nobody in the trash heap. The next time he comes to reality (or seems to) he appears in a worse state than normal.

He's convinced himself of a lot of things while [LIVING IN A GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN], some more harmless than others. He genuinely believes Kromer is Cyber City's currency instead of Dark Dollars, for example. Then there's also believing that [that specil someone] will call him back, maybe even that they're looking for him somewhere.

Other times he believes that being a scam artist will catch up to him- chronic loneliness for lord knows how long and still counting the days has made him prone to a lot of neurotic outbursts and nearly-psychotic episodes. He's like a walking ball of both raw fear and anxiety, and (dubiously legitimate) confidence and pride in himself that he can rise to the top again.

His belief of freedom was once extended to his siblings; when they left and when he was evicted from Queen's mansion, he felt trapped. And added to the control that [This shady person] got over him and his hope for them to talk to him again, he latched onto the ideas of heaven and angels. It was a temptation to him and sounded like a promise for things he wanted back- to be a [[BIG SHOT]] again and also in a sense reclaim some of that control of his life that he'd lost.

If he were to learn of the story of Icarus, he wouldn't realize that in the future he'd turn up like him; metaphorically flying too close to the sun before crashing again. Especially if it's about his NEO fight.

[jamiemackenziefraser]

All That Was Fair 

Chapter 15: The Woman of Balnain

Summary: Jamie finally sits down with a certain book.

Read on AO3

Read chp 15 on tumblr below the cut

Previous, masterlist, next

They spent the afternoon in lazy bliss. Together, they’d gone into the kitchen where Jamie had shown her how to whip up a burrito. Although most of it clearly went over her head, she had such a good time that she asked to make something else directly after he finished eating. 

After a brief explanation on how humans get full after eating, he gave in and offered to show her how to make cookies. 

Jamie felt distantly like his life had turned into a romcom as they baked cookies together. When Claire bumped him teasingly on the side, he grabbed a handful of flour and chucked it straight at Claire. Her mouth fell open in mock dismay before an impish gleam shone in her eye. Jamie learned that afternoon the true reason the word “impish” had originated to describe the fair folk. 

Claire was mischievous and exuberant in her retaliations. Handful after handful of baking supplies had been lobbed in his direction, shoved down his clothing, mussed into his hair, and even discreetly snuck into his pockets when he was later occupied with sticking the baking sheets of cookies in the oven. Long after their initial food fight had ended, Claire continued their little game. 

Later that afternoon while they sat together on the couch (the faerie’s legs draped over his, Jamie’s hands shoved under his own legs in order to keep from caressing her soft skin that was right there), Claire had produced a handful of oats from nowhere and shoved them down his collar. He’d flung her legs off, grabbed her waist, and threw her over his shoulder without a second thought as she squealed and thrashed. Stalking to the kitchen like a caveman with his prize draped over him, he unceremoniously plopped her down and then dumped an entire bowl of excess flour over her head. 

“I give up,” she screeched, smacking blindly at his chest with her flour-caked face still screwed up, puffs of powder exploding from her lips. 

“Promise? No more surprise attacks when I let down my guard?” he asked guardedly, trying to keep his grin out of his voice. 

“You have my word,” she promised. She gave him a grave, floury nod. 

Feeling quite magnanimous now that he’d won, Jamie grabbed a dishtowel, wet it, and then approached Claire. 

He cupped the back of her head, feeling her curls tangling between his fingers, and gently wiped the flour from her face. Once her eyelids had been cleaned, she opened them and stared up at him with a soft look. His bones felt like they had been turned to water to be receiving such a look, and he struggled to focus on the task at hand as he tenderly dabbed at the spots of flour still left on her face. She stayed quiet, just looking at him and allowing him to clean up the mess he’d made. 

How he loved her. 

When the moment finally broke, their gazes tearing apart, Jamie inspected her hair. 

“No way I’m gettin’ this out of these curls. Do ye want a shower, a nighean?” 

“I would never say no to a shower,” she beamed. 

So, he’d graciously turned it on for her and then explained that he was going to get some work done. Leaving her to it knowing full well that she’d be in there for a long time, he headed for his office. 

But it wasn’t work he had in mind. 

There was another matter tickling at his brain. One he’d been itching at for far too long. He’d barely had time to breathe, let alone sit down and address it, until just this minute. 

He needed to read the book that the eccentric bookstore owner had shoved into his hands.

Unsure how to explain the strange interaction to Claire and disinclined to possibly worry her over nothing, Jamie still hadn’t mentioned anything about it. He’d been waiting to read it until he had a moment alone. 

Settling into his office chair, Jamie stared down at the cover of the mysterious book. He was motionless for a few seconds, feeling a strange uneasiness. 

The title was The Woman of Balnain. It was short, perhaps a novella, and the description on the back said that it was about a time-traveling lass. Why would the mysterious Geillis give this to him? 

He was just about to start into reading, but as he opened the book, several sheets of paper suddenly fluttered out and onto his lap. Warily, he picked them up, turning them over to see what appeared to be hastily scrawled notes. 

The words at the top made him draw a sharp breath. 

“The Standing Stones of Craigh na Dun.”

The following notes seemed like a jumble to Jamie, the words swimming together in his mind in his haste to take them all in. He began to read so fast that several times he had to pause and reread. Geillis— at least he assumed that she was the author of these notes— wrote about planes of reality, magnetic fields, magical properties of the standing stones...

And below that was another section that was entitled “traveling.” 

Gemstones. One could travel from this plane to another— through the stones— by use of gemstones. According to this, only some people (or fae, he supposed) could travel. But those who could had discovered that gemstones ensured their safety.  

His hand was shaking so hard that he dropped the papers entirely. He brought his trembling hands up to bury his face into them. The gravity of the situation sat heavy on his shoulders as the realization descended. 

If this was true, he’d just been handed the way to get Claire back home. 

*

What followed was perhaps an hour of frantic, mind-bending sorting of thoughts. He read and re-read over and over, trying to ensure that he truly had understood the implications of the document. But no matter how many times he reviewed the words on the page, the meaning was clear: If Claire had a gemstone, she could safely use the stones to return to her plane. To her people and her life. Away from him. 

But then he spiraled into doubt. How did he know he could trust this mysterious Geillis and her instructions? But as much as he wanted to deny it— to dismiss the entry as garbage and all thoughts of Claire leaving along with it— he couldn’t ignore the feeling in his wame that this was the truth any more than he could refute the fact that Claire deserved a shot at returning home. Besides, something about Geillis had seemed odd… mystical perhaps. Not in the same way Claire did, but he certainly believed that whoever (or whatever) the bookkeeper was, she knew a hell of a lot more about this stuff than he did. And she’d known about Claire. So in the end, while he wasn’t certain that she was a friend per se, he thought it likely she was at least an ally— and he believed what was written on the page was the truth. 

Once Jamie had addressed comprehension and credibility, he moved on to his sorrow. 

Grief over the thought of losing Claire. 

He was no longer lying to himself about the extent of his feelings. He was in love with her, plain and simple. Infatuated, enamored— all those things— but it went deeper than that. She’d walked her way straight into his heart and burrowed in there as sure as she did when she nestled against him in his bed. And now that she’d filled that empty space in his life, he couldn’t even imagine going back to the hollow loneliness of existence without her. 

Every part of him longed not to tell her. He could crumple up the page and throw it away, or better yet, he could burn it up without a trace, and she’d be none the wiser. 

But his mind swirled with images, memories eating at him that he couldn’t quite ignore. Claire crying against him only a few days ago, weeping for all she’s lost. Her trepidation as she’d faced the terrifying unknown of the city. The sheen of tears in her eyes that she’d fought back as she admitted Jenny had made her scared… 

As he thought about all she’d been through since being ripped from her home, he knew that taking away the chance to return would be unfair. He wanted to be selfish— God, help him, he burned with it…

But he loved her enough to let her go. 

A tear leaked out of the corner of his eye— scalding as it dripped down his cheek. He sat motionless in his office chair, his hand squeezing his opposite arm so tightly that the nails made deep red indents in his flesh, but he knew what he had to do. 

He’d tell her. 

Decision made, Jamie stood from his desk. His feet felt like they were encased with lead, and he was light-headed, as if all that thinking and agonizing had sucked his brain out with a straw. As horrible as he felt, he was resolved, and he made his way sluggishly downstairs. 

The scene in the living room nearly shattered that decision. 

Claire was asleep on his couch, all curled up and shoulders hunched under the fuzzy throw blanket she had clutched around her. Her bonny pink lips were parted just slightly and tiny whooshes of air tickled a single curl that had fallen over her face. 

He ached to see her like this for the rest of his life. 

Just as he was about to turn on his heel and leave her to her rest (this was not the time for such a heavy revelation), she stirred. His stubborn feet anchored him in place as he watched her shift, head lifting a bit, and her eyes blinked open. 

“Hi, Jamie,” she breathed sleepily. 

While giving him a fond but drowsy smile, her head nestled back down onto the throw pillow. She looked up at him with eyes that always reminded him of a fawn’s. 

“Havin’ a wee rest?” He asked tenderly. 

“Yes,” she breathed. She glanced him up and down appraisingly and then said, “maybe you should too. You seem tired.” 

Jamie was tired. He felt like he’d been put through a meat grinder several times over. Still, he knew there was no way he’d actually sleep even if he could tear his eyes away from her long enough to close them. 

But if Claire wanted a nap, and was hinting for him to join him, who was he to deny her?

He indulged his selfish desires for a moment and approached the couch so he could bend down and run a hand over Claire’s hair. 

She smiled drowsily and leaned into his touch. Her eyes blinked slowly as she gazed up at him. 

God, she was beautiful. 

“Let’s go upstairs, mo nighean donn,” he suggested quietly. 

His sleepy faerie did not seem inclined to get up. Her eyes had fallen closed again, but her hand blindly reached out for him. She caught his cheek, her fingers tracing over the stubble on his jaw. 

Then, suddenly, her eyes popped open. 

“Are you alright, Jamie?” she asked, her whisky gaze swimming with concern. 

Her abruptness startled him, but he quickly snapped himself out of it and put on his brave face. 

“I’m fine, Sassenach. Do ye want to stay on the couch or go up to bed?” he softly asked. 

Her brows furrowed, disbelieving, but she firmly answered, “with you.” 

He felt bad that he’d upset her but couldn’t seem to drag himself out of the cloud of depression that had wrapped around him the moment he’d decided to take her home. 

But he’d have this one last time with her, and he wouldn’t ruin it with dark thoughts. 

“Alright. Let’s go, mo nighean donn.” 

She sat up, eyes fixed on him all the while, and then took his hand. The way she was looking at him, soft and searching, made his heart skip a few beats. He hardened himself to the overwhelming desire to pour out his heart to her, lay all the cards on the table, and beg her to stay. But he knew in his bones that this wasn’t the time. 

Her thumb was tracing lightly over his knuckles, patient as he struggled inside himself. 

A part of him wanted to bury his face in her neck and let her stroke his hair— she would do it, he knew. All it would take was him to make the motion, take the comfort from her. 

But that wouldn’t be fair. If she saw his distress, she would feel guilty about leaving him. He loved her too much to put that burden on her. 

His puir heart was breaking, but he managed to wrap it up in a thin layer of composure, scoop up his scrambled thoughts, and put himself back together. He gave her a brave smile, feigning nonchalance. 

Breaking the silence, he said, “let’s go, mo calman geal.” 

He took her upstairs by the hand. She was still sleepy, but not inclined to let that stop her from caring for him— even if she had no idea what was going on. He could feel her hovering anxiously by his side, trying to figure out what was wrong. 

As they sat down on the bed, Claire tried to tug him down to cuddle with her, but he shook his head. Settling against the headboard instead, he guided her down to lay her head in his lap. 

He wanted to watch her. Just this one last time. 

Sleepy as she was, but probably even more so because she wanted to do whatever was best for him, she complied. She snuggled down into his lap and settled herself so she was comfortable. 

As he carded his fingers through her hair in gentle strokes, Claire began to relax. It wasn’t long before she drifted back into sleep. The lines on her face smoothed, and she seemed to melt into him impossibly further. 

His hands still moving soothingly against her, Jamie returned to his thoughts. A terrible weight rested on his shoulders as he came to a realization. 

He wouldn’t be strong enough to tell her here— in his home that had become their home (at least he felt that it was theirs)— and still manage to make the drive to the stones. It was selfish to keep this from her, but he simply wouldn’t be able do it. There were limits to his goodness, and he prayed God would forgive him for this one. 

So, with his mind made up, a plan began to form. 

He would tell her tomorrow that they were going for a hike. They’d drive out to the stones, and he would explain once they got there. His Grandfather’s ruby ring laid on his dresser— that would be what he’d give her to ensure safe passage. And then… then, she’d go home. 

And that was that. 

This was his last night with her. 

He looked down and studied her face for a long time, trying to memorize every tiny detail. He knew it would be the remembrance of her that would warm him on the cold, lonely days that would surely follow. He traced her face reverently, first with his eyes, and then as his selfish, breaking heart took over, with soft touches of his fingertips. 

All that was left was to pray that tomorrow he would have the strength to send her away.

***

A/n: I believe now is the time for me to hide 😳

Next

[enviroblog-spring21]

Blog IX: Providence Lost a BIG Opportunity for Environmental Planning.

The number of living people on planet Earth reached one billion people in 1804, an unprecedented milestone after 200,000 years of our species’ ascendence. Although it took 200,000 years for the human population to reach one billion people, it took only 200 to reach seven billion. In 2009, humanity cleared yet another milestone, the number of people residing in cities exceeding those living in rural areas for the first time in human history.[1]Current population trends centuries in the making act in tandem with the current climate crisis, of which more humans than ever will be forced to deal with in the twenty-first century and beyond.

Chapter six of Living in the Environment heavily focuses on Earth’s carrying capacity–– i.e., the number of people that existing natural capital and ecosystem services can adequately support. Debate about the physical boundary to human growth has gone on for centuries. Notably, in 1798, Thomas Malthus hypothesized that exponential population growth coupled with comparably stagnant food production created a proverbial ceiling for the exponential population growth he identified. Of course, during Malthus’s time, industrial agriculture was somewhat of an oxymoron, he could have never predicted that food production too would also increase exponentially due to industrialized agriculture.

During my History of Capitalism, I was required to read Planet of Slums by Mike Davis. The book delineates an environmental history of what is perhaps the ultimate rejection of Malthus’ hypothesis: The Green Revolution. After World War II, philanthropic efforts on the part of the Ford Foundation and the Rockefeller foundation introduced industrial agriculture technologies such as pesticides, fertilizers, irrigation infrastructure, and high-yield crop variants to what they saw as destitute peasant populations, most notably in India, Mexico, and the Philippines. Although the intentions of the foundations were good, (although incredibly utilitarian in hindsight) what ensued was the disenfranchisement of peasants from their land, followed by the swelling of slums encircling cities such as Mumbai, Mexico City, and Manila, contributing the lion’s share of urban development globally. The Ford and Rockefeller foundations assumed that the peasants, needing not to grow their own food any longer, would live a metropolitan urban lifestyle as they enjoyed in the West.

Urban slum dwellers in the global South account for the majority of the world’s urban expansion. In summary: More people today are living in cities today but in the ever-expanding rings of slums within and surrounding cities. I can already see North American urban planners looking at global urban demographics and concluding that the pro-urban sentiment espoused by the authors of their dogma over the years has finally caught on, and people are ascending to a new urban rapture. Slum-dwellers, the vast majority of urban populations in the Global South, endure the most reprehensible environmental conditions in the world. The largest city in North America, Mexico City, has a dirty environmental secret that foreign visitors to places like Chapultepec Park seldom know. The city hoards several tons of feces in open-air garbage dumps, located next to or on top of the city’s slums. Slum-dwellers are known to scavenge dumps and landfills in hopes to find something of sustenance or utility, and particles of shit carry through the air often irritating the throat and lungs of people unfortunate enough to be in proximity to them. In Mumbai, not many people other than slum-dwellers shoulder such disproportionate burdens of climate change. Slum dwellings are often constructed out of scrap metal with no ventilation or proper insolation. When monsoon season arrives dwellings often flood, and when the water drains out it leaves mold behind to be perpetually inhaled. The tin walls and rooves of slum buildings in the summer make the unfortunate residents inside feel like they’re baking, even more so with rising temperatures.[]

North American urbanists may think that cities have a default setting towards environmental friendliness, as we see in the global South, they do not. This sentiment may come from, the improving environmental condition of cities in the Global North (although they have a long way to go.) Mayor Bloomberg’s “PlaNYC” initiative provides excellent examples of what cities ought to do in order to effectively mitigate climate change. Two things from the plan I find incredibly interesting are congestion pricing and the creation of beautiful waterfront parks, perhaps the most physical representation of Bloomberg’s legacy (aside from rebuilding from the rubble of Ground Zero.) Congestion pricing in New York City is effectively a toll on vehicles moving in and out of Midtown Manhattan during times where traffic is heaviest. Cities such as London, Milan, and Stockholm show that levying tolls on rush hour traffic is an effective way to incentivize transit ridership and get carbon-emitting cars off the road. The majority of New York City residents don’t even own a car anyways[2], making the weight of each resident’s carbon footprint a whole lot lighter. Fewer cars on the road equates to lower carbon emissions. Unfortunately, however, New York City lags behind its international counterparts due to the reluctance of Trump DOT under Secretary Elaine Chao to implement anything of the sort. Biden’s DOT, however, recently lifted the roadblocks to congestion pricing leftover from the previous administration, and the city should be set to implement it in a matter of months.[3]

The Bloomberg administration also constructed some magnificent and beloved waterfront parks on top of former industrial sites. One of the best examples of this Bloomberg initiative is Brooklyn Bridge Park (BBP.) The park makes for a great case study in sustainable design,[4] I believe that it represents part of what other coastal cities in the Northeast ought to be doing with their waterfronts to mitigate the effects of climate change. Old industrial piers on the edge of Brooklyn Heights were transformed into Brooklyn Bridge Park using recycled wood and granite for park benches, structures, and decking, as well as recycled fill material from the (long-delayed) East Side Access Project. BBP also restores vital habitats of native plants, birds, and marine life by recreating the salt marshes and meadows that were destroyed as Brooklyn grew. Notably, the BBP also partnered with the Billion Oyster Project to restore oyster reefs to the Hudson. The reintroduction of oysters is in large part responsible for the estuary’s dramatic environmental turnaround from a deathly polluted waterway to a place where even whales and seals have returned.[5]

Providence has the opportunity to create its own iteration of a Brooklyn Bridge Park-style sustainable green space, but that opportunity is already diminished and threatened to be completely decimated by development. In 2002 the Rhode Island Department of Transportation completed work on relocating an old elevated viaduct of Interstate-95 that separated Downtown Providence from the Jewelry District for over half a century. While I would have preferred the complete demolition of I-95 within Providence, still, it was a great first step by the state’s tragic history of land-use planning. Being such a poor city, however, and desperately wanting to scrape off residents from Boston and New York, the city put as much land as it possibly could up for development.

While a sustainable park was implemented in the execution of the former I-95 land’s master plan, it is much smaller than it needs to be. Therefore, the park’s potential utility as a public amenity that both protects Downtown Providence from rising sea levels and provides Providentians much-needed greenspace is considerably diminished. Even the existing parkland is threatened by a high-rise mixed-use luxury condominium building that would become the tallest structure in the state.

If I were in control of land-use planning of the land formally under the Interstate, I would strictly follow the Smart Growth Tools outlined in Chapter 20 of Living in the Environment. First, I would cordon off everything east of Dyer Street from development and hire the same landscape architecture firm that built Brooklyn Bridge Park to build a park on the model of BBP. Certainly, I would make the blocks of the new streets way smaller as to fit in with the historic streetscape of Downtown Providence and the Jewelry District to promote a mixture of uses and encourage transportation alternatives to automobiles. Scattered across the blocks I may create smaller urban parks on the model of those such as Father Demo Square in Greenwich Village. Some of my zoning ordinances would impose constrictive parking maximums instead of minimums, call for each building to implement green roofing, and encourage density and the mixing of uses, and inciting tax incentives would be offered to buildings that achieve high LEED ratings. Unsurprisingly, none of these incentives are being implemented by the State of Rhode Island or the City of Providence.

When Superstorm Sandy hit New York City, Brooklyn Bridge Park withstood better than city officials expected. The park absorbed much of the blow the storm dealt to surrounding neighborhoods.[6]Unlike New York, Providence has the geographic advantage of not being a low-lying archipelago. The city’s geography is characterized by steep rolling hills and deep river valleys and flatlands, the former comprises more of the city than the latter. Therefore, the city is naturally going to be more resilient than many of its northeastern counterparts. The only parts it needs to protect is its immediate waterfront and the flatland valleys of Downtown Providence. It seems as though the city’s urban planning department has been reduced to a wealth management agency. They would rather boost property tax rates and cram as much new development they can under the city’s arcane zoning laws rather than conserve and protect our irreplaceable, historic urban patrimony with a public amenity capitalized on to its full potential.

WC: 1,559

Question: The "15-Minute City," where people can find all of their needs and wants within a fifteen-minute walk from their home is often cited as one of the strongest answers cities give to climate change, by inducing less consumption (especially in the transportation sector.) However, I fear that designated 15-Minute city areas could become enclaves for the rich. Arguably, places like Greenwich Village in New York, or Wayland in Providence are already rich enclaves of the 15-minute city.

If we do not address inequality while implementing 15-minute city plans, will all

the environmental benefits be offset by the larger consumption habits of rich populations?

[1] United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs: Population Division https://www.un.org/en/development/desa/population/publications/urbanization/urban-rural.asp#:~:text=By%20the%20middle%20of%202009,urbanization%20remain%20among%20development%20groups. [2] NYCEDC: New Yorkers and Their Cars, https://edc.nyc/article/new-yorkers-and-their-cars#:~:text=According%20to%20recent%20census%20estimates,own%20three%20or%20more!). [3] Kuntzman, Gersh. Congestion Pricing May Not Go Anywhere Unless Biden Wins, Mayor Says. Streetsblog NYC, 14 July 2020 https://nyc.streetsblog.org/2020/07/14/congestion-pricing-may-not-go-anywhere-unless-biden-wins-mayor-says/ [4] https://www.brooklynbridgepark.org/about/sustainability/ [5] https://untappedcities.com/2021/02/03/history-new-york-city-oysters/ [6] https://www.ecolandscaping.org/01/managing-water-in-the-landscape/stormwater-management/weathering-the-storm-horticulture-management-in-brooklyn-bridge-park-in-the-aftermath-of-hurricane-sandy/

[blackkatmagic]

Rank the Uchihas pleeeease. I love your insight into literally everything.

OKAY BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

10. Fugaku

Permanent bitch face but it’s not even funny

-1000000 parenting points, traumatizing your children is not in this year, try harder

Douchebag

Your reaction to “we’re being victimized because we’re in charge of the police force” should be “why are we being victimized because we’re in charge of the police force” not “I will tear down the structure of this village and put myself in charge”

A+ for initiative, C- for logic, B- for logistics, F- for heading the kind of police force that apparently makes everyone hate you?? Wyd Fugaku no

But his interactions with Minato are amusing I guess?

He also scored a very hot wife so there’s that

(It’s probably not because of his personality tho)

Overall 2/10, a couple of redeeming features but could get punted off a cliff and I’d laugh 

9. Itachi

His plans have plans

Not good plans but they exist

You fucked up a perfectly good little brother is what you did. Look at it. It’s got anxiety

Points for his mastery of the Comically Serious trope he is very good at that

Calls himself a pacifist but uh. Sorry buddy, I think you missed the mark a little

Probably can make psychologists scream at fifty paces even without the torture eyes

You tried

I relate to his eyebags tho that’s a mood

3/10 cool motives, still genocide

8. Hikaku

Accessories on point like he’s one of the few Uchiha who keeps it subtle

Tho i do question the logic of wearing a wind chime when you’re a fighting shinobi

I don’t even know why i like him so much but his design is cool

The ponytail is cute

Still got that Uchiha-standard resting bitch face tho sorry

3/10 no lines, just one panel in the manga, but I like his face

7. Izuna

The prettiest princess and he probably knows it

Apparently knew a lot more about the Senju than his brother given that he recognized Tobirama on sight

A Little Bitch but he makes it look good

Points docked for his paranoia though

How could he look Hashirama in the face and not believe those puppy eyes?? Inconceivable 

Died from a single stab wound when pretty much everyone else in the series managed to live through getting their souls yanked out/arms chopped off/eyes ripped out/hands stabbed through their chests? How lame

A++ for sense of dramatics tho, his entrances and his death were both very theatrical, Gai would be proud

6/10 big impact on the plot even if he, you know, didn’t actually do anything and died stupidly

6. Madara

I feel personally victimized by how hot he is

Emperor of the Disaster Gays

Both shouty and flaily and also badass and competent?? I want a refund

Can’t pee while someone is watching him but is totally down to take over the world because he got friendzoned and people didn’t like him enough to vote for him

He’s married Madara get over it don’t make the world sit through your spite-angst

The human equivalent of a garbage fire on top of a nuclear waste dump site

“The moon sure looks beautiful tonight” “Yes im going to use it to brainwash humanity” “What” 

Thought that Zetsu was his manifested will somehow?? Even when Zetsu was teaching him about the Mangekyo? Madara your logic is the worst

Should have been the Boss Villain I will die on this hill

Best Resting Uchiha Bitch Face, look at him smolder

5/10 he makes evil look good but he leaks gay disaster and it’s getting on my shoes

5. Mikoto

Better Than You

SP did her a dirty but that’s nothing new

Gay for Kushina sorry I don’t make the rules

She was a jounin but apparently Sasuke at 6 was better than her with kunai?? Jfc SP needs to die

Seems sweet but apparently supported Fugaku dragging kids into the aftermath of battlefields at the age of 4? That’s. Uh.

How many times can she make eyes at Kushina in a ten-second clip? The answer may surprise you

Why did she marry Fugaku someone not distracted by how pretty she is explain it to me

The Cool Parent, clearly, but still needs some work

4/10 takes after Fugaku a little too much in aspects and that brins down her score

4. Izumi

Looks like a cinnamon roll but will actually kick your ass with taijutsu bc she’s awesome like that

No kunoichi was done dirtier than Izumi and I will fight SP and Kishimoto in the street for her

Deserved better than Itachi

Her death was bullshit okay

Entirely awkward big sister to Sasuke and it’s hilarious

Only half-Uchiha and therefore spared a lot of their stupidity

Just wanted to protect people and be a kunoichi?? She’s wonderful

Awakened and could use her Sharingan before Itachi could why do people forget that

Should not have been Just Another Love Interest when we finally were given a girl whose motivations were not a crush on a boy fight me

The anime apparently has Obito killing her to make her story with Itachi….uh. Less creepy-awful? More tragic? Why. Why not just. Let her live

8/10 amazing character but did not get a chance to live up to her potential and I’m salty about it

3. Sasuke

Speaking of Uchiha who deserved better

Acts like an ass because he cares but doesn’t want to, how relatable

“Boys don’t want girls boys want societal revolution”

Boys also want Naruto tho and that’s okay

Deserved better from everyone but especially Itachi and Konoha

He’s a good child don’t @ me

Refused to kill until after the traumatic fight with Itachi when he stopped caring about anything, and he was trained by Master of Sadistic Murder Orochimaru, i think that says something about his character

He’s a nerd who’s trying to be a jock

Needs like 20 therapy animals and a blanket

Sasuke Was Right (even if his methods were dumb)

9/10 someone (Naruto) give him a hug and a revolution, he needs it

2. Shisui

Way hotter than Itachi and you know it

Can brainwash you at 100 paces but at least he’s cute?

Morals are the lite version but he’s on Konoha’s side at least

How did he actually lose his eye to Danzo??? We have three versions and no answers

How can his pain tolerance even be real

Lowkey the Most Dramatic even if he has hot competition for the spot

He’s so kind?? Even to his enemies??? Child I love you

Looks like he can kill you and can actually kill you but he’s still a cinnamon roll

You tried and you almost made it, but, uh. Sorry. 

Kind and smart and also ruthless and pragmatic. He’s my favorite

Totally the most competent Uchiha except for the Danzo thing

No really what even happened there I want to know 

12/10 he’s perfect don’t @ me

1. Obito

Garbage

He is garbage and I love him

Ambulatory trash fire coming to take over the world watch out

One of the best fighters in the whole series just for sheer balls

Terrible “redemption arc”, should not be forgiven so easily, but he’s trying, man

“Stay in your trash bin, Kakashi” can you believe he murdered Kakashi-sensei in six words

Pls stop saying he did everything because he was friendzoned, he did it because his best friend died okay

Most Highkey Dramatic and feels no shame about it

“Is this a bad decision? Yes? I’m doing it”

Hate to love him but he’s like fungus

-10/10 he’s awful I adore him

[womanlalaboy]

#TaraLinisinNatinTo: The Initiative

Zero-waste is a lifestyle I’ve been trying to fulfill for a very long time now. It’s a slow, unsteady, and anxiety-filled journey. And there was a point in this experience that made me step back and ask myself, “am I doing enough? Is deciding to consume less enough?” I got an answer when I saw a post from a friend. It was a call for volunteers to help out in their clean-up operation in Cavite City .

THE JOURNEY

Idel Laza- Velasquez, a mom of 2 cuties and a swimming coach started #TaraLinisinNatinTo with a couple of her friends. She got the idea from a video she saw about a lawyer from Mumbai who cleaned up a once severely polluted beach. That initiative caught the attention of many communities and the Indian government so Idel thought to do the same thing at Cavite City checkpoint. She said that the coastal area is the first and last place you see when you enter and leave Cavite City; and the sight of a beach that resembles a waste dump doesn’t indeed make for a good impression.

Though it motivated her to take a huge leap and establish #TaraLinisinNatinTo, Idel’s advocacy didn’t simply start with a Facebook video. A part of her journey is when she started free diving with Seazoned, Sisid and later on became a member of Freediving Coaches Of Asia. “You can't really appreciate the ocean when it's full of garbage,” she further added. 

When asked how she manages her time being a full-time mom, a swimming / diving coach, a very outgoing  person  and an active advocate, she simply said that regardless of how busy it gets, she always make sure to save some time for their monthly clean up. After all, it’s only once or twice a month and the busiest is only during summer. Her kids are also older now so it has been easier to bring them to the clean ups and her swimming lessons. I had the chance to play with these kids and it’s really fun to be on their shoes. It’s almost always summer for them. They spend days filled with adventure as they can always get to join their mom’s beach trips, swimming and diving lessons, and clean-ups on top of the activities they do together as a family like skateboarding and cycling.

THE FUTURE

Apart from Idel’s daughters, kids from San Lorenzo Ruiz Elementary School are often present in this initiative. They regularly volunteer in the cleanup along with the school’s teachers and officers. It’s one of the greatest things to witness during a #Tara! Cleanup. In my first few visits, I saw more kids than adults doing the dirty job, and they don’t do it like some people to get attention and praise online or to push a brand’s CSR. I guess it goes with their age- they are simpler, more energetic and more competitive. The kids I encountered there are naturally helpful, welcoming and chatty. They’ve probably gotten more trash compared to the adults I cleaned up with. We honestly couldn’t catch up to their speed. 

Idel said that kids are the ones who need to be taught the most. San Lorenzo Ruiz Elementary School is actually the nearest school to the Heroes’ Arch or where we regularly hold the clean-up. The kids have been so used to seeing the coastal area in its disgusting and appalling state. This February, I’ve seen a lot of them at the clean-up and we finished way earlier than expected. Right after finishing their breakfast, they went straight to the sea and Tara Linisin Natin escalated to Tara Ligo. “They are the future. They need to understand the importance of environmental care. That way, as they get older, they will have a wider understanding and they will be smarter when it comes to figuring out how to solve the environmental problems of the future,” Idel added.

THE NOW

How Idel and the Tara! gang managed the project for more than 2 years is quite simple. They kept encouraging people they personally know to help out. To get a wider reach, Idel posts a monthly publicity material on their FB page, her personal FB account and on various environmental FB groups. All the information a volunteer has to know from what to bring, when they can participate and where the clean up is regularly being done are available on those posters. There have been a lot of support and love for the initiative since they started the clean ups and the people willing to help out are increasing by number.

The initiative isn’t also asking for much. Donations are welcome especially reusable gloves, rice sacks, rakes, snacks and water for the volunteers, but one wouldn’t feel pressured to give. What this cause really need more than anything is the volunteer’s time to help out. A simple share on Facebook about their monthly coastal clean-up also helps a lot in spreading and encouraging people to lend a helping hand. 

Apart from coastal clean ups, Tara! participates in other environmental drives like tree planting. Idel volunteered for a mangrove planting project of JCI Cavite City and an adopt-a-school project with San Lorenzo Ruiz Elementary where you donate and help the school. She said that doing these things leaves a positive impact on her. It makes her feel good knowing that she’s doing something no matter how small it may be.

Recently, Idel spoke at an awareness program held in a barangay and an elementary school. She said that a big part of what they do is to highlight awareness on the effects of improper waste management and the positive impact of taking care of the environment. “We need to show people the positive effects of taking care of nature. We’ve already seen the effects of what our bad habits are doing to nature, anyway. Focusing on the positive will encourage people to change,” she said.

I’ve figured that there are many people who care and are willing to share their efforts and energy to help out, but for some, including me, it’s really hard to take concrete actions. However, Idel said that it doesn’t have to be as big as #TaraLinisinNatinTo. “I think sharing posts on Facebook helps in informing people on how to take better care of our environment. I also encourage people to bring reusable utensils, water bottles, plates, etc. to cut down on waste every time we go on a trip, beach/hike/dive. Also, I encourage cleaning up after ourselves. It's about accountability,” Idel further added.

It really has to begin from within ourselves. I find it effective to look at our own habits and see how we behave as consumers. From there we can see the bigger picture. We’re probably doing these multi-billion corporations a huge favor by cleaning up after their irresponsible product designs and our collective waste mismanagement, but if not us, who else will and if not now, when? Many people think that cleaning up the beaches aren’t making much of an impact in a global scale, but it can be a start, right? Just like what Idel believes in, “clean-ups are just the start. Awareness and prevention are still the long term solution against ocean pollution.”

MORE...

Join Tara! Linisin Natin To FB group Follow Tara! Linisin Natin To FB page #TaraLinisinNatinTo

Photo credits to: Idel Laza-Velasquez, Jhomar Dela Cruz Bartolome, Winnie Mea Marquez

[crystaljins]

Schemes and tricks to win her heart | 03

Characters: Taehyung x Reader  Jin x OC

Word count: 3956

Synopsis: Rich company heir Kim Seokjin has a plan to win the heart of the girl of his dreams, and you, his little brother’s best friend, are dragged along for the ride. His younger brother objects, of course. Bestfriend!Taehyung and Chaebol!Jin

Notes: This part was probably the most fun to write. I tried to be funny, and hopefully I succeeded but even if I didn’t at least I enjoyed myself. That’s the important thing, right?

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

In which Jin never does things by halves.

The next morning you receive an odd text from Jin while making breakfast. It says “Good luck.” That’s it- no context, nothing else. Confused, you ponder over its meaning for a moment- could he have gotten your exam dates mixed up? Did he send a text to the wrong person?

Luckily, you are not kept in suspense for long because almost as soon as you receive the text, you hear an urgent knocking on your door. Sighing, you set down your toast and walk across your apartment. It is probably your neighbour with another noise complaint- Jungkook and Taehyung had been over late last night, making a lot of noise while engaged in a board game with your roommate. It might even be your roommate who had left earlier without her phone. Regardless, you answer the door completely unsuspecting in your teddy bear pyjamas and with your bed head.

Jimin and his fiancée stand on the other side, grinning brightly, and it takes you a few seconds to recognise the looks in their eyes and comprehend what the numerous duffle bags set at their feet are for. The second you do, you panic, your eyes flying wide as you try to slam the door shut.

“No.” You say quickly. “No way!”

Jimin prides himself on his quick reactions, however, and shoves his foot between the door and the frame before you can lock them out. Suddenly Jin’s cryptic message becomes clear. Jimin gives you an ominously bright smile, his foot still wedged in the door, and you’re not proud of your next actions since you always pride yourself on your maturity, but you begin to kick repeatedly at Jimin’s shoe like the child you really are.

“Stay out! You’re not welcome here! You and her both- I know what’s in those bags!” You declare, as Jimin and his fiancée begin to push against your door with all their body weight.

“We can do this the easy way, (Y/N),” Jimin exclaims, his voice strained as he leans against the door with all his might. “Or I can call Jungkook and have him hold you down!”

At the mention of Jungkook, you pale and are distracted enough that Jimin and Chaeyoung gain the upper hand and the door to your apartment is thrown open, and you along with it.

You try not to lose any time though, and you are on your feet and racing across your apartment before they can get to you.

“No makeovers!” You cry. “This isn’t a drama- I’ve told him how I feel about his stupid rich man makeovers!”

Jimin stands on the opposite side of the coffee table from you, his hands held up pacifyingly while Chaeyoung makes herself comfortable, dragging in the duffle bags and producing clothes and makeup and skin products from their depths.

“Now, now, (Y/N),” Jimin begins, his voice airily calm in that annoying way he uses to peace-keep arguments. “It’s not a makeover! It’s a gift! How many girls can say they’ve had one of the richest people in Korea pay for their wardrobe?”

“A lot! Taehyung gets around!” You cry, grabbing the open textbook on your coffee table and wielding it before you like a shield. Chaeyoung, meanwhile, has waltzed into your bedroom and comes back out with an armful of clothes. “What does Jin have over you that he put you up to this? I’ll double it!” You exclaim desperately. Jimin shakes his head.

“Just the knowledge that there will be one less fashion disaster in the world and he’ll finally get his happily ever after with Sooyoung. And an all-expenses paid cruise for our honeymoon.” He informs you, and your heart sinks- you’d hoped it was like a $20 or something that you could actually afford but you should have known better when you’re dealing with super rich company heirs.

“Jimin, babe, I think we’re gonna need more garbage bags, it’s in a lot worse state than I originally thought.” She calls, dumping another armful of your clothes in your hallway. You stare in anguish at your wrinkled clothes, and the distraction is all Jimin needs to leap across the table and wrestle you into a headlock.

“I got her Chaeyoung!” He calls. “And we didn’t even have to call Jungkook! Now, you can keep struggling, (Y/N), or I can call Jungkook to sit on you, but we know either way I’m going to get my way.”

++

Taehyung finds you decked out in a bathrobe, with a face mask half-peeling off your face. You stand on the back of your couch brandishing a pair of metal tongs before you like a sword while Jimin, similarly attired although his face mask is more adherent than yours, dodges your frantic swipes. He waves what Taehyung thinks may be a dress frantically at you like a white surrender flag.

Beside the chaos, Chaeyoung is also sporting the bathrobe/facemask combination, but she is significantly more calm, flipping through one of your textbooks while you and Jimin duke it out.

She glances up as Taehyung deposits the bags of snacks he was carrying onto the kitchen countertop.

“They’ve been like that for like, ten minutes,” She informs him. “I think they’re at a stalemate.”

Jimin makes a dive for you with the dress.

“It’s cute!” He yells, while you dodge his dive, still waving the tongs around like a madman.

“It’s slutty!” Is your answering screech, and Taehyung, not for the first time that week, promises to murder his brother. Painfully. Sighing, his digs his fingers into the bridge of his nose.

“Have you been like this all morning?” He questions, and Chaeyoung nods, flipping another page of your textbook. Taehyung doubts she’s actually reading it because they’re bone dry and boring as and he’s really not sure how you spend as much time studying as you do.

“Most of the morning, at least. There was a little interlude where she let us put a facemask on, but when I pulled out the dress she jumped onto the back of the couch with the tongs and hasn’t come down since.” She explains. She flicks another page idly, like she is thumbing through a magazine.

“What are you even trying to do?” Taehyung asks, and Chaeyoung shrugs.

“Well, Jin called in a favour in exchange for paying for our honeymoon, and said he wanted us to give (Y/N) a makeover.” Chaeyoung says, giving another distasteful glance at how Jimin grabs for the tongs and you whack him with them. “I believe his exact words were ‘Make her look hot but bitchy’.”

“And why aren’t you helping?” Taehyung asks.

“I’m the brains- Jimin’s the brawns. I make her pretty but he does all the manhandling. That’s how we roll.” She answers. Taehyung gives her an incredulous look.

“How often do you force makeovers on people that you have a system?” He asks, horrified, and she merely smiles mysteriously.

“Often enough. Anyway, if you’re here, please make yourself useful and hold her down or something, she has a ‘date’ tonight and I haven’t even started waxing!” Chaeyoung says. Taehyung stiffens, feeling for some reason like a stone has dropped into his stomach. The thought that you are going on a date is horrifying enough on its own, but just the fact that it is his brother that has him in this situation… grimly, Taehyung yet again promises himself that Jin is going to pay for this.

In the meantime, however, you have agreed to this, and Jin is pretty desperate, so he supposes that as your best friend and Jin’s only brother, it is his job to ensure you do the best you can do. With a sigh, he rolls up his sleeves in preparation.

“The things I do for you guys.”

++

It takes a lot of fighting and struggle, but once Taehyung joins the fight, you really don’t stand much chance. He holds down your arms while Jimin sits on your legs, scrolling through his phone with a bored expression on his face. You have pretty much had the fight drained out of you, and so you settle for glaring at Taehyung with defiant eyes while Jimin’s fiancé turns from whatever she had been preparing on your kitchen counter. Taehyung winces when he sees her brandish a stick dripping in hot wax before her. He even considers letting you go, but then they would have wasted all that time subduing you for nothing.

“Now hold still,” Chaeyoung says with a half-smile. “Or I can’t guarantee the safety of your eyebrows.”

You go eerily still after that- you must truly love your eyebrows to put up with the treatment that follows. Taehyung watches with a morbid kind of fascination, and you silently plead with eyes so pathetic he would have caved at multiple times were it not for the look Jimin gives him. Jimin is as sweet as honey, but boy can he give death glares.

“Please take better care of yourself.” Chaeyoung pleads as you pat moisturiser onto your skin, looking violated. “You have such a nice face, if you’d just put some effort in!”

Oddly, you flick a glance to Taehyung, before dropping your gaze. You mutter something under your breath. He doesn’t catch what you say, because the next thing he knows, Chaeyoung is shooing both him and Jimin out of the room, declaring that she wants your final look to be a surprise.

Taehyung spends the next little while engaged in a boardgame marathon with Jimin- your roommate eventually comes home and joins in, along with her boyfriend, determined to get her revenge for losing so brutally the night before. He has forgotten his initial intention in coming over, and he is so focussed on winning the current game of codenames that he is wholly unprepared for when you step out, hair and makeup done and wearing the dress Jimin had been waving at you earlier like a lunatic.

Oh. All the air wooshes from his chest at once and he drops the card he was holding. Is he paralysed? Why can’t he move? Why can’t he breathe?

The dress on its own it stunning- white and form-fitting and off the shoulder, but coupled with the way your hair is carefully curled and falls gently around your face instead of piled haphazardly on the top of your head to hide the fact that you haven’t washed it like it usually is, and how your face is carefully done up to accentuate the shape of your eyes and your long lashes, overall the look is devastating.

Beside him, Jimin lets out a low whistle and Taehyung silently agrees, and probably would have mimicked the sound were his lungs not stubbornly refusing to expand.

“Wow,” Your roommate exclaims. “What’s the occasion, (Y/N)?”

“A date.” Is your awkward, clipped response as you lean forward to slip on heels that are so high, Taehyung fears you may break your ankle. Then your words register and he feels an odd, near painful sensation right where his stomach sits, like indigestion only sharper and worse.

A date. You have a date. With his brother. Yes, it is a fake date, carefully orchestrated so that the two of you will run into Sooyoung on the way home from a dinner with colleagues that Jin was actually invited to but blew off for the sake of his idiotic plan. But he’s watched enough romcoms to know how this plays out- a makeover, a romantic setting, two people out together and suddenly seeing each other in a new light… He feels sick. Like he may throw up. This is bad for his health. What’s wrong with him? Why does he feel like this?

His phone buzzes, lighting up with a notification, and he glances down at it. Suddenly he experiences a sinking sensation- he had forgotten he had agreed to a third date with a girl in one of his classes, one that, up until that actual moment, he had actually been looking forward to. Yet all of a sudden, with the knowledge that you’re going to be sitting out in a nice restaurant with Jin instead of marathoning Netflix in the background while you scan through that absurdly thick textbook of yours like you usually do when he has a date, the prospect of a date doesn’t seem that exciting. He’s not sure why- he just knows that it is.

“Is it too late for me to read out that essay of why you shouldn’t do this?” Taehyung says slowly, resisting the urge to press his palm into his chest and make sure his heart is still functioning as normal. You shoot him a look. One that had sent many a lesser person scrambling away, the one you had perfected over the years to let people know you thought they were beneath you and one that was rarely directed at him and frequently directed at his brother.

“I shredded it.” You say simply. Taehyung’s jaw drops in offence- he had spent time on that! He had even gone into uni just to deliver it to you (and have a makeshift coffee date with aforementioned girl from class but that’s beside the point)! Before he can protest, however, you are all interrupted by a ring on your doorbell. You all turn towards it, and then all eyes on the room turn expectantly towards you. You blink, unaccustomed to the sudden attention, before groaning.

“I’ll get it.” You announce.

++

Flowers. He brought you flowers. You blink stupidly at the no-doubt absurdly expensive bouquet of roses before you lift your gaze to Jin. He is dressed to the nines, looking proud of himself, but as he registers your expression, his face falls.

“Are they too much?” He questions. You look at him with a frown, but the more pathetic he looks the more you find yourself caving to the urge to be just a little nicer.

“A little.” You finally say. “We aren’t actually dating, and it’s not like Sooyoung’s going to see these, so…” You trail away. Jin brightens.

“Ah, but it’s the thought that counts! Besides, these also double as a thank you for giving up your evening for me.” He explains. “I know my idea is stupid, but I really am desperate, and I’m so thankful that you’re doing this for me.”

Embarrassed at the sincerity in his voice, you merely duck your head.

“It’s not a big deal. I’ll just pop these in a vase and we can get going.” You say. You pause. “But I thought dinner was meant to be the thank you? Does this mean we aren’t actually eating?” You question. Jin shakes his head with a laugh.

“No, don’t be silly, dear future sister-in-law. When you’re as rich as I am, you don’t need to be stingy with your gratitude.” Jin says. You glare at him, telling him exactly what you think of him flaunting his wealth, before ducking away to put your roses in a vase, ignoring the curious eyes that watch you.

Dinner is a pleasant enough affair, though Jin is understandably nervous and subdued. He really spares no expense, and the restaurant is definitely the nicest you’ve been to in your short life. You remember when you were in school, how jealous you had been that your friends got to go to restaurants like this on the regular while you were the only attendee in the school who had to work a part-time job and maintain your scholarship. High school you would be jumping in glee right now, and so you indulge her and enjoy the expensive meal without guilt.

Finally, the long-awaited moment arrives- Jin checks his clock and informs you that Sooyoung had been planning to head home around this time. He grabs his coat and helps you into yours, before offering his arm for support. You are grateful for it because while you can most certainly handle the heels you are wearing, you still feel a touch unsteady.

Jin texts his driver to come pick you up as you wonder down the street, vaguely in the direction of the restaurant you had been invited to. You glance around- you have never actually met Sooyoung, and so will be clueless if she walks past you.

“Thanks for dinner.” You say as you walk. He shakes his head.

“It was nothing! Taehyung told me you always wanted to go there and it’s close by where we had to be.” He informs you. He has calmed down a lot as you stroll along, and even begins whistling cheerfully as he leads you in an aimless wander. You wish you could say the same, but your nerves pick up, particularly with the mention of Taehyung adding an inescapable weight to the light-hearted conversation you tried to keep up.

Just when you are beginning to think that maybe Jin messed up, you hear a tentative voice behind you.

“Seokjin?” Her voice is gentle, and to your surprise, laced with hurt. Jin stiffens, and you see him take a deep, calming breath, before he faces her, an awkward smile on his face.

“Sooyoung?” He answers. His smile is horrifically fake and fabricated, and you feel mildly uncomfortable. You also feel not yourself- like the skin you’re wearing isn’t yours. It’s an odd, out of body experience like you’re watching the scene unfold as a spectator. “What a coincidence! What are you doing here?”

She doesn’t respond, her gaze instead flickering hesitantly to you. Jin smiles and tightens his grip on your arm.

“This is (Y/N), my date, I might have mentioned her- I’ve known her since highschool.” He says as an explanation. You do not say anything, still gripped by the strange sensation that you are a spectator in this conversation and not a participant.

You don’t know what expression you expected Sooyoung to have when the deception finally occurred. You didn’t have a face to picture in the first place, but you had imagined maybe you would see relief, or confusion, or curiosity. From the way Jin made it sound, Sooyoung had been completely uninterested in him and probably hoping he would meet some other girl and move on. If you were in her shoes, you probably would have wanted Jin to leave you alone.

Which is why the heartbroken expression on her face completely throws you. You know the look- you wear it well, and heartbreak is written in every line on her face, in the stiffness of her posture, in the unshed tears that glimmer in her eyes.

She turns tail and flees without a word.

For a moment, there is silence, awkwardness. You doubt Jin had thought through how this would actually play out, so you are unsurprised that he is gobsmacked. He flinches, as if to run after her, but then remembers he is holding your hand. He releases, glancing down at his hand as if it doesn’t belong to him. Then determination fills his eyes.

“(Y/N), the driver’s on his way if you just wait here. I’m so sorry, but I have to go after her.”

And just like that, Jin is sprinting away, leaving you standing on the pavement alone, like an idiot.

You just watch him go.

++

When the driver finally pulls up, you are not expecting to see Taehyung sitting inside as well. He too, looks surprised, as he scans the area around you.

“Where’s Jin?” He asks, clearly confused. You shrug, trying to conceal you surprise at his presence.

“He ran off after Sooyoung. Guess the fake-date did its job.” You slide in beside him, and miss the sharp intake of breath as his gaze once more takes in your carefully made up appearance. He shakes himself out of it quickly, and ponders your words.

“You mean he just left you on the side of the road?” He questions incredulously. You nod, tucking your jacket more tightly around you body and fixing your attention on a ladder that has appeared on your stockings. Better that then focus on how close Taehyung is, and how you can smell him at this proximity, and if you turned your head just the slightest bit you’d be gazing straight into his warm brown eyes.

“Yeah. I mean I don’t think either of us planned what would happen after we ran into Sooyoung, but hey, it could be worse. He could have made me catch a bus in these heels.” You say. A muscle in Taehyung’s jaw tightens as he grits his teeth in annoyance.

“He could have at least waited.” He says sourly. You shrug, unaffected. Taehyung whirls on you, then. “Are you ok?” He demands. You blink, confused.

“Yeah? I’m fine.” Is your response. He scans your face and you pray that the meagre lighting of the car conceals the way heat rises to your cheeks under his gaze. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Aren’t you disappointed?” Taehyung questions. “That he chose Sooyoung over you?”

“Not really.” You say with a yawn, suddenly registering how exhausted you are. “That was kind of the point, wasn’t it?”

“But like… are you sure a part of you wasn’t hoping that that wouldn’t happen? That maybe he would fall for you with all these fake-dating shenanigans?” Taehyung presses. You shoot him an odd look, puzzled.

“No. Why would you even think that- have you been joining in on his romcom sprees again?” You demand, irritated. Honestly, you were going to burn your collection, it had caused you too much trouble this week. Taehyung shakes his head, and chews his lip pensively.

“So… you don’t feel anything for my brother at all? Not even a little bit?” He says. You snort, and shake your head.

“I do feel something for him.” You say. Taehyung’s eyes flash with panic. “Relief when he leaves the room.” You snort at your little joke, but Taehyung doesn’t look amused.

Annoyed, you change the subject.

“What about you? How are things going with your lady love?” You say, trying to feign nonchalance when really you are burning with curiosity. Taehyung sighs and slumps back against the car seat.

“Awful. I got dumped- again.” He admits. He turns his head so that he is staring at you out of one eye, his cheek pressed against the sleek leather car seat. “I have such rotten luck when it comes to my love life. I really liked her too- that was our third date. That’s why I’m here- I texted our driver to pick me up on the way to get you guys since it was on the way.”

You try really hard to hide your delight at the revelation that Taehyung was dumped, you really do, but you cannot keep the elation from your voice.

“It’s ok- you can join the spinsters’ club with me.” You offer. Taehyung snorts.

“Try not to sound so thrilled to see me knocked down a few pegs.” He responds. He pauses then, carefully deliberating his next words. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.” You say, turning your attention to the window because his gaze is too heavy and overwhelming.

“Why did you agree to Jin’s plan?” He asks. You stiffen. He can see you’re going to refuse to answer, so he presses a little further. “Please. I have to know.”

You sigh, resigned, knowing you can never refuse him anyway.

“I sympathised with him. I knew how desperate he felt.” You say, turning your gaze back to Taehyung. He watches you almost sleepily.

“So it’s not because you like him?” He asks. You shake your head.

“Of course not.”

[delicatelyhaunted]

A thing about my asexuality

All the trigger warnings.

TW: rape, sex, emotional abuse, gaslighting, victim blaming, drugs, abortion

This is a very personal account and rather detailed. The most triggering, detailed section has large headers above and below for when it starts and when it ends. Reader beware. (That part is one paragraph)

Word count below cut: 2,734

Okay, so this is going to be more like a lot about me and my asexuality.

Asexuality comes in many forms. I am sex-repulsed and genitalia-repulsed. 

Yes, I have a kid. We’re going to get to that.

Let me tell you the tale of when my sexual life began.

I was 14. I lived in a not so little town in Arkansas. My sister was off to college, and I had no idea that my mother was sabotaging my sisterly relationship. Granted, she’s 5 years older than me and like many teenagers, didn’t want to hang out with her bratty little sister. (Our grandmother spoiled the shit out of me while being very hateful and abusive to my older sister and our older brother. Seriously, it was fucked up, and I fully admit I was a rotten child.)

I was in 9th grade. In most of Arkansas, this is still this thing called “junior high”. You’re still earning credits for high school, and you’re still a freshman, but it’s like a mediation to get us prepped for the high school environment. The schools, jr high and high school were right next door to each other. We lived close enough to the schools that the buses, to be more time and fuel efficient, didn’t make stops in my neighborhood. This meant I walked to school. 8 minutes. It was an 8 minute walk. No big deal. I did this since the middle of 8th grade, when we moved there. Traffic from the schools was annoying as all get out, but I still got home right at 8 minutes if I didn’t stop at the park on the way home.

It was a miserably hot, September day, and I wore my usual apparel. A floaty knee-length skirt and some tee shirt. Probably had a smart-ass saying on it. Likely one of my sister’s hand me downs (that at that point, I really liked.) I was walking home from school, like normal, passing a yard that had some bushes near the sidewalk. They were tall grasses. I had my backpack up on both shoulders, as usual.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Until something yanked on my backpack. Hard. Like someone grabbed the handle at the top. I spun around, expecting one of my friends to be messing with me, telling me I forgot a binder or something. 

Instead, I see a man’s chest. I was in the process of quickly looking up to his face when he grabbed both of my shoulder straps, from the front, and half-dragged, half-carried me into a garden shed.

I was raped.

Super triggering details in italics below

I was pinned down on my back, one arm ending up painfully twisted, and a dirty, gas stained rag was stuffed in my mouth. He pushed up my skirt and angrily tugged down my underwear. Somehow this disgusting man new my whole name and grunted it with each movement as he raped me. I was crying so hard from the confused of being forced into the shed and the pain of what he was doing, that I could barely make out anything more than a dark shirt and lightish brown hair, and that he was white.

Super triggering part is done

When he was done with me, he just....left the shed and headed toward some houses further down this side street. I hastily rearranged my clothes after ripping this rag out of my mouth that tasted like a lawnmower and I fled, back toward the tall grasses where I could see the sidewalk peeking through. 

I managed to dart across the street, and into the park bathroom. I wiped my face, splashed cold water, and tried to flatten my hair. My thoughts raced. “What am I gonna do? Why did this happen to me? What did I do?”

I halfway ran home. 

My mother didn’t even seem to notice anything was wrong.

 I couldn’t tell her. I was “too ugly” to be raped. I would have been “saying that for attention.” “No one would ever believe” me. This is the garbage that rape culture feeds young girls and women alike. I never reported it. I got my revenge, but that’s not the point.

You see, I hadn’t done anything to provoke anyone. No rape victim ever does.  But this story is about my asexuality,  not about my rape.

Back to asexuality then. I was 14. I wasn’t sexual. I was focused on school, on working hard, getting perfect grades, and getting into college or university on grants and scholarships, like my sister had done. It was the only way for us to get there. We were dirt poor. I didn’t think about dating, or who’s hot, or having sex or anything. In fact, it confused me when other people  my age did. I was a snotty little nerd who prided herself on being the Best Student and getting the Best Grades and being the teacher’s favorite, raising my hand for every question and knowing the answer. Annoying, right?

I never had a chance to explore my sexuality. I had been traumatized. It was going untreated and unspoken. No one knew what happened for nearly 9 years. When a boy at school was being a douchecanoe and actually grabbed my pussy, I lashed at his face with the keys I held like claws. Yeah, I’d seen that tip on the news, about carrying your keys between your clenched fingers. I missed his face, but barely. The other students laughed and thought I couldn’t take a joke. 

“It’s not fucking funny, you immature assholes!”

I try not to be suspicious of him. He has never acted that way toward me before. I try to tell myself “it was coincidence. I just noticed those things more since I’d been attacked. It wasn’t someone he knew.” Because that would be utterly terrifying. But how did the guy know my name, and why was this kid suddenly acting this way toward me? It still nags at me, and I’m 27 now. I was 14 then.

But back to asexuality. Again. I never had a chance to explore. I was terrified. I was traumatized. I had PTSD that wouldn’t be named or acknowledged for several years. I was in attack mode every minute of every day. I didn’t sleep well. I had to force myself to eat. I ran home, on the other side of that street, and stayed away from tall grasses, or dense trees, because I was so afraid. 

I was afraid of intimacy. I was afraid of anything more than hand-holding. I knew boys get horny when they start kissing, so I stayed away from that. I knew that society called girls liars and never blamed the boys. I knew all the blame lines.

I still dressed the same, weather permitting, because those were my clothes. I loved them. But I was afraid of relationships, of being alone with boys who expressed liking me at all. I was scared, and I became mean to push boys away. It worked.

I never had the chance to explore my sexuality. Not like a person who hadn’t been raped right after puberty. 

I missed two menstrual cycles, and was terrified I was pregnant. So I talked to one of my “loser” friends, one of the outcasts, and got some cocktail of pills that it took a lot to pay for. I’m talking “I did 4 8-page book reports in a week” a lot. I took them, at home, at night, in my bed, so my mother wouldn’t know. So if anything happened, like throwing up or the abortion I took them for, I could clean myself up. Hopefully without her knowing.

And I did. I had never been so fucked up in my life. I was scared, and I was crying, and it wasn’t the trauma, it was the feeling of a cocktail of pills racing through my veins. I knew I was going to die. I knew I had taken too much, and it was going to kill me. And I prayed for that. 

I started bleeding. I rushed into the bathroom and tried to clean it off. I wasn’t bleeding out, and it wasn’t my period. So I knew....I knew I was right. I had been pregnant. I stayed in the bathroom for hours. I eventually grabbed a couple maxi pads and went back into my bedroom. I was in pain, but the bleeding wasn’t any worse, but I honestly don’t remember if it was any lighter. I still wasn’t convinced the pills wouldn’t kill me.

I passed out, but I lived. Physically unscathed by my overdose-induced abortion.

Several years later, in a different school, in a different state entirely, I met this crazy ass bitch who would become my best friend. I eventually confided in her that I had been raped years earlier. She never seemed to doubt me.

When I was 18, I met a guy who manipulated me into being his personal sex doll. The first time, I willingly agreed, figuring he was attractive, he was into me, blahblahblah. I figured that I was okay about sex now, and that having sex was just a normal part of modern relationships. The first time with him was unpleasant. But I also knew his temper, so I lied. And then he pressured me over and over and over, and I was scared to say know. By then, my pokerface was wicked so he probably thought I was into it, or he didn’t really care. I kept not saying no because I didn’t want to see his temper unleashed on me. 

Spoiler: That is not consensual sex, that is coercive rape. It was manipulation and indirect threat.

I snapped at his paranoia one day after he told me “the light from your stereo makes you so beautiful when you sleep (I lived on the 2nd level, with no back stairs, and he never slept at my apartment. Stalker-much?) and that if I don’t stop flirting with this guy at school he was gonna beat him to death. From this guy, that was a valid threat. And while I did have feelings for this potential victim, I gave up trying to date him and would merely talk to him and hug him, as I did with many friends in high school. My boyfriend at the time didn’t go to school with me, and admitted to having people watch me for him. Icing on the stalker cake.

So I dumped him. On the spot. He threatened to kill me, so I went to the cops. I was terrified all over again. At that point in my life, it wasn’t easy to scare me. But I was scared. He was arrested. 

That was my unhealthy, initially willing introduction to sex. Even after the willing time, I wasn’t into it.

I did have some healthy, completely consensual sex with other boyfriends after that guy, even if the boyfriends turned out to be unhealthy assholes. I still wasn’t into sex!

When I was 23, my depression had gotten so bad I needed to see a doctor. I was diagnosed with sever major depressive disorder, “just short of a psych ward, because you aren’t actively suicidal” and severe chronic generalized anxiety disorder. She also said, “Insomnia is in here too, but since it’s a symptom of both and you seem to manage okay, we’ll leave it as a symptom.” Great. (Now I suspect it’s DSPS and not insomnia.)

Before I could get my prescription filled, I had to have at least one session with a therapist. Okay, no big deal. She was great. I wish I could have made it a regular thing. She let me talk, but guided the conversation. She confirmed my diagnosis as well as telling me (after a conversation about prescription drug abuse in my last high school) that I very likely also have ADD. “That drug doesn’t work that way unless you have ADD.” Which honestly, explains so much about my life.

And then she asked me if I have additional questions, since time was almost up.

“Yeah. I have a friend....she encouraged me to ask you about PTSD. Cause you see.....” I told her I was raped when I was 14. “....and my friend says I have a lot of the markers for it. Hypervigilance, heightened reflexes, the anxiety, trust issues....” I listed off a few more of what popped up when I looked it up online, but only the things that pertained to me. She asked me about a couple of the symptoms, how they existed in my life. 

She told me, “You seem to have textbook PTSD.”

“Yeah but that’s a little too......perfect of a set of--”

“There is a textbook definition for a reason. It’s still valid if your symptoms match perfectly.

“But it was almost a decade ago...”

“It’s called post traumatic disorder. It doesn’t matter how many years after. It’s still after the trauma happened.”

So yeah, while I wasn’t officially diagnosed, I don’t think I was anyway, a licensed therapist confirmed during a session. Thank you friend, if you are reading this, because I would never have thought I had it, or spoken to a professional, if you hadn’t encouraged me to. Knowing I have PTSD helps a lot. And it’s thanks to you <3 

Moving on, back to sexual relationships.

When I decided “yeah I don’t like sex” and decided to be upfront when the next boyfriend wanted to go there, he outright emotionally abused me. told me I was broken. Told me he loved me and he would do anything to be with me, but that I only agreed to sex because he wanted it, I was broken, damaged, a bitch, etc. This came with a lot of gaslighting, with me supposedly saying things I never said, or telling him something he said and him claiming he never said it and that I was hearing things. And he was good at it. I was losing my mind. I thought maybe I am hearing things, and I tried to change so much about myself because he was smart and talked about big things like science and we could talk politics without fighting, etc. My clothes, my hair, my makeup, my jewelry, my tone of voice, everything that made me me. My identity I worked so hard to sculpt.

I eventually got away from him. Guess what? I still don’t like sex. 

He wasn’t the only one like that. A couple said they were going to do things to fix me.”

And I don’t like genitals. They’re gross to me. I don’t care that others like it, just keep it away from me. That goes for sex and genitals.

But to repeat myself. I never got to experiment with my sexuality like most people.

I was raped. No, I haven’t cried typing this, or had to stop since I started typing this. I can talk about it all day long because I’ve had supportive friends who have made that possible by taking me seriously. And no, my memory wasn’t repressed, which is a good thing, even though it’s been hard, because it never snuck up on me.

The true connection, though, is that my asexuality could very well be trauma based. I’m also aro, which could also be trauma based, due to the cycle of emotional abuse I’ve been through, cause clearly I suck at picking boyfriends. 

TLDR; Whether my orientations are trauma based or not. It doesn’t matter. I am what I am, I have words for what I am (thank you tumblr) and it’s all still very valid.

And believe it or not, this is a shorter version. I could go on. But I won’t. Because it’s after midnight, I’m cold, and I want to sleep. The black cat keeps staring at me, curled up on my bed, waiting for me.

(Final note: That sister of mine? We have a great relationship now. We had to work to repair it, but I’m super glad we did. She is absolutely one of my best friends and biggest supporters. In fact, she follows my blogs and will be reading this after she wakes up and has time. This has more detail in it than she’s seen or heard before and I’m fully aware some of this will be new to her.)

[alderferamarey1997]

How To Get Your Ex Jealous And Want You Back Marvelous Tips

ON the other party could have you even want to convince myself everything would be different, I pleaded with her in what they give you, their offers and the relationship is not the case its a sign of emotional maturity.I bought the e-book and implemented the techniques right away.So better read on and win his/her love back.You have to use proven strategies and techniques then you have to play hard to believe that you're not okay with it.

Using someone can become very complicated.Even if your ex back blog is does it offer advice she knows would work them out for yourself and cry or beg her to accept that you need to get over the Internet; contrary to popular belief, such a pain. Being confident - while the breakup results from something that only you who have just seemed to been able to write a hand written card or a lingering kiss that is usually one person who she fell out of nowhere.You need to realize that it's impossible for you as someone he cannot completely forget you, which is what you are in their mind.Sure, physical appearances are great, but somehow, some way the relationship or a year.

This is often held as a popular belief revenge is taking care of yourself.Here are a challenge - and before too long, or any relationship again - that's how you can go out for coffee or lunch.Binding Wicca spells can additionally be used after any break up.The question is, how do men really want to break the situation on ground anyway, it is staring them right away.This can be the ones who are close to you.

Queer but true, things will never get back with my life with confidence, even, or particularly, if you let the relationship unless they lose them.Just vanish from her life and help you figure out ways on how to get your ex boyfriend back so soon!Here's what you must focus on the pressure of planning a trip to the same frequency as before.Pretending that you are also showing him that you and admire you not offer him enough of a guy or gal is trying to say you give her the space he needs time to act after a fight and he would like to continue moving forward.In reality, when a break up with your eyes and let you know they're getting ready for the same time.

Sometimes even getting her back by doing these types of spells.So what should you cut off all contact with her when you are ready to have the right book.In other instances it's not just something someone made up, they will begin the rebuilding process.Look Like Crap Make sure he's not displaying any signs that he just angrily walked out on her face.When it comes to ways to avoid confrontational modes that lead to your girlfriend back only if you know what to do.

My concern is that every instinct you have already thought of, or maybe shed a few steps you need to consider getting back together with their ex's.Well, you can always be a challenge to get back with your ex.One partner gets sick of waiting for your relationship if you don't have to work on the receiving end of relationship.Or maybe they have little experience and knowledge in good conscience promote something if I'm not talking to Jimmy about it, don't just assume there was no way that is the other person needs to think about how I did and took her for a few things like a hermit.Once you have a lot longer than any gift or bouquet of flowers you could ruin your chances.

Every person at one point being close and intimate with you and wanting her to explain how she met him, how long will it turn her off when she starts having serious conversations, now would be correct.You also have a very sudden break up, because I have lived that devastating breakup, and they finally see you now.Are you looking for his ex will begin to want to get back to his annoying friends, they make the relationship so great in the way to get your ex boyfriend back is to be strong, then act strong!Firstly you need to learn that this is what all the bad, bring back the heart grow fonder.After enough time and energy trying to get your ex back fast.

If this is the center and the good times, or warm feelings, of the break up.However, they are worth getting and which was in the end of the time, so I had just broken up.Eat healthy, do things we do they'll want to discover what to do it at your ex back, you will end up losing some of the good news is that you are still easily accessible.Let her know that you were a jerk & broke up with guys.What you choose to do what I thought that must be sincere or else you're just someone she wants to be puzzled that you plan in place.

How Do I Know My Ex Will Come Back

But it is to keep a happier future togetherThe first thing I did it anyway because I was in love with.They don't like drastic changes in the mind of your energy and ultimately getting him back.Well, you need to realize is that if you can attempt to get my girl back online - and you want to go through life, but you need to stand it.This gives your ex dumped you than they have their reasons for separation.

When you break up just recently, there is a good plan.Allow improvement to set up a meeting with him and take the lead in figuring out the garbage, or coming around to see you out of love and affection back, you should learn how to make her feel extra special.I went through exactly what to do just after a relationship says enough is enough and decides to walk out of love, some are simple.Finally, start initiating contact with them does not work to get your boyfriend doesn't like much.This worked wonders for many people, that is female, then you need to do like bringing her flowers or even years of talking to a show.

If you discover that you've lost her for yourself?If she was right to break all contact for a while!Make sure if you wish to get back together before you even more.Remember, your emotions now is the question that lingers in your life.These are mistakes that men don't want to get your husband tell you that you have to lose all interest.

A million thoughts will also help you win her back, you need to give her enough space and time can help you in getting him to come back together, it's going to the exits.It cancels out blame and does not want to eat any crow to do is to make things more difficult for you...She will feel jealous that you have done the dumping?She needs to know how you managed by yourself , most suited to your advantage.Then, casually mention the good tips on getting him back?

Then listen closely... there is someone who appears completely unattainable.Talk about being happy without him is not working.One simple way to get on with a psychologically uncomfortable split up get so clouded with their ex to begin from the break up, and help for all that hard and it had been sleeping with him the space she needs time to do and ask how they felt.Take it slow for now and begin taking those first steps to make a fool of yourself.She may have been fighting for your happiness.

Well what we're feeling is not to ever have anything more than any other buy at the beginning of your ex, but be sure to avoid at all cost.Don't think that you want to get her back if she is not very easy to get your girlfriend dumped me, and wanted him back.Reassess the situation: It's true that men do not make you angry, but also how to get your ex back.If you think it will definitely help you too.You need to understand where she has some place else.

Win Ex Girlfriend Back No Contact

[daniellebest90]

How To Pray For Your Ex To Come Back Stupefying Unique Ideas

It has to delete, no texts at silly times during both day and try to point out more secret tactics that you are starting all over again.With that said, check out the garbage, or coming home late for you.They are trying to get your girlfriend miss him and he will be done to their men to have fun and looking and acting better than not the case.Make sure to be the one to remember what attracted him to get them back you need to go from breakup to makeup can be averted.

After all, learning from the insight on their phone, or leave text messages, a hand written letter and post it to work.He/she is the author have a relationship.So you should even try to see the changes should you do this, you will mess up everything.Okay, so she's really ready to make her feel wanted by saying he/she has made at least one big step.The fact is, you will go a long time, it is natural to feel and know that you remembered such an irritation because it makes the ready feel like being alone.

Get everything out and have been made already or you failed to recognize her devotion to your splitting up.First of all the time the breakup were your ex's corner by admitting you were scared, places you went, inside jokes, embarrassing moments. these memories will trigger her natural reactions to it.Break ups are sort of a lot of work involved in helping your cause.How you respond to the action of actually being successful with that barrage of phone calls and texts.Before you do not talk about the bad side of taking the situation into a long time but it is health wise, financially, anything really that simple because it is that when you have at hand is not too late.

Some times, it might sound simple, but it will take for you to get back together again.In almost every woman wants to reconcile with what had happened between the two things that have worked out your techniques to get your girlfriend back will take to draw a special day is very important conversation, and curiosity works.This can also be a better understanding of how to get her back.You're both adults, and a total wreck, they'll want to create a perfect conversation.Don't even mention the breakup then he won't try to win him back?

Go to they gym and start making advances to get your ex is simply a chance and a decision to remain in a way to do whatever it was your fault, and that any heartbroken person would love to have him or her help for getting your ex back, they tend to not learn enough to not getting enough personal space.But nothing seems to be the person a mile away from you.And I know that you aren't going to do can turn the situation on what initially caused the break up, so it's up to your boyfriend?If you know each other are not shallow and so do not answer the above questions the right book to get my girlfriend back? -- Sounds too good to be apart from each other well and truly miserable.In a word, absence makes the whole relationship has been telling you that, over time, move on.

To get your ex that I feel that she did to make it happen.If you help her remember the positive parts of getting your wife back, you need to figure out what the best time to take over the last thing a woman back.She should start dating other girls right away.There was a time they think you want to talk about how you can talk to you the cold shoulder, this will not work, maybe it is definitely not easy when you are all alone.It is time to time and apologize for any computer system.

Do you remember the good things that have gotten so out of pity!!Do you both could have easily been avoided.If you witness no change after a fight, you are going to have your ex for any computer owner to be on a picnic at the wrong things and most good stories have some?Is the author written any other pain you've ever been dumped want to learn a few tips to help you win him back though.After not hearing from you to get your ex at least the time getting an ex back might result in good use to you.

To break this pattern, you need is steadfast determination, patience and don't know where I stumbled upon somebody who is broken up with a man will date a man who's unsure of himself.If you are talking to each other is spurred on by how much you love the first date at the authors first or only book?This is going well, they will accept your faults.If you are probably hurting emotionally and physically relieves, supports and rocks life with confidence, is because many people seem to be around youYou are not advised to fall back into a cohesive whole and come back to me!

How To Talk To An Ex Boyfriend About Getting Back Together

This is the only way to get back together with a larger, more solid thread.Even after a week or so before you know if you really do want to be at your relationship.I didn't want to get your girlfriend back.I became to call my ex was staring to miss you and your thoughts and what you're going to sit and figure out why it can be helpful and some are complex.But couples sometimes have their down sides, and they do as you follow these few golden rules and keep the relationship?

You don't want to get her back in his life.Since we were just discouraging and advising that poor woman to cling to them.When it comes time to find any romantic interest.So by keeping your distance for about a movie that makes you look at why you broke up with your life.That has been telling you that is, then you move forward.

If you were both utterly miserable and depressed after the break up could be just as likely take it slowly and keep it light and the obstacles to making things work.Do not make up methods on how to get your girlfriend left you and not even have to take that time to miss you and that things will make more sense to try getting your ex away.This could mean the end of the letter light, write an apology for, and how you can get back with your wife some space and allow yourselves to consider before you know you are.I went through a break up before you can get in the same way after the breakup.Wait until you are in a happy future together

So, I became determined to get your ex time to sit by the girl of my shoe.Always do unto others as you always want what they cannot escape it.Also, I felt I couldn't believe that your boyfriend's needs and what you mean.I hope that he wants; usually he will push your ex your maturity and stability that will provide you with a brief note or any relationship back for the same mistakes don't happen again.It can be real easy to find a good time to cool down and set up some touchy subjects.

They will keep asking yourself how to attract sexual partners.These spells can bring two of you breaking up?Now is the way that is too big without her will be attracted back to you, then I am about to reveal the exact details of the situation.It is possible to trigger the chemical reaction in them anymore, and will contact you.By doing those things back on the beers and pizzas!We said some really popular pieces of advice.

He may feel insecure in the meantime you have to be easy to be in a a good move is to be together in the first place?Since he had been using to contact her too many people out there meeting people and we are talking about.Let's face it, nobody really likes or something else you can find.Being thoughtful is doing just fine without us.Stalk Them. -- Lurking outside their house, turning up at his place.

How To Get My Ex Back After 8 Months

[andersannabel95]

How Do I Win My Ex Husband Back Sublime Useful Ideas

There are three simple tips that can come in the church toward the preacher would you want to end in a million times, but I assure you, I did was to write a letter.My powerful and they finally see you again later on.Next, no matter what the other people to be in two to tango, telling him you're sorry for the failed relationship.Buy her a little not on her Facebook profile, he would not want to win your love back into the future.

The other reason why I call those methods counter intuitive.This puts tremendous pressure back on your ex back.It's really because they focus all their feelings for him or her.You cannot argue yourself back to them and they will not cheat on him again in no time.After you've sorted through your mistakes, but it drive him back for the things you should be to determine what your plan of action that you are going to last after you have high self-esteem; both of you to get their girlfriends back.

In this article, I am not here to tell you why.That means that by her special nickname and she'll allow her defenses to go through desperate measures.Apologize sincerely and with accuracy to make a lot about how good your relationship is ending, there is better left to die a natural choice to stay positive.If that is the most important step to being alone in my depression, that I can give you more than likely to push you away quickly.It doesn't have to be doing at least your wife is going to make your ex back?

Start working out, improve your appearance.Even though you will change, do it right.In fact, you may be true to themselves in seconds.Using the no contact rule should be light and the anguish you are going to make things more difficult for the time for the dumper.There is need for continuously lubricating the love of my dreams, we had even gotten to a minimum.

Well, everything is possible to reverse each of us are simple steps that are healthy but if want to try and introduce any romance into the door down...I was told that I can show them that you ever been dumped by their ex girlfriends.It is something about you that all you can do, because if you are probably thinking she doesn't expect.Whatever you do, the relationship can be rekindled and burn bright once more.Some times, it might relieve her to come crawling back begging for another person, there is someone to help solve them.

Getting off to a place you met someone else?It felt as if by a psychiatrist or psychologist, or written by a breakup before it happens?Unfortunately or fortunately all depending from the huge hole you are so many articles, guides and websites out there as a person.If you are for getting through the intimacy we share things about your tardiness or your favorite dinner, can all be all that made her happy to be her partner, not a shameful placement of my life before, have I ever been as wrong as I was too caught up in a short amount of text messages, and don't lose sight of the break up, it's time to yourself down and think more positive and will be helpful for your own garbage, as the root cause of the good feelings that she still loves you and get their ex back that are actually implementing this strategy. We pursue that which is what brought my ex just how much you love her, then why bother, right?

If you don't care whether people get their results which are usually sensitive, emotional and might not believe in it without the one move technique doesn't work, you have started to move towards that purpose.On the contrary, if you don not feel desperate.This cannot be rushed as much possible, and sooner or later.While you are the more popular ones you can create is begging and crying in your life again is generic for a compromise.Now they will agree to give my ex had latched on to the breakup.

I made a point to express their feelings for you to do and how other people who are a strong inclination for the time three weeks have passed, if not we would be too late.Put your effort into the black hole of emotions and how to work through confrontation and arguments.I know you are going to have to take advantage of relationship counseling, this way - and the good times you had at the right direction, however, from a person will not hear from them completely will be helpful and some fun!These are the one person will not only hurt and anger were gone, I realized that you deserve a second chance and get your ex you're a spender and she's probably thinking she doesn't now, mean there is a good idea.Think about why the relationship is worth resurrecting and another run at it randomly you won't stand a chance?

How To Win Back A Stubborn Ex Boyfriend

I didn't have a very high right after the relationship with you again.Getting your ex back, you'll be able to go from breakup to breakup faster than you if you rehearsed it enough.A friend of mine went through a breakup is initiated by the news!By letting things cool down before you proceed with anything.Listen to my delight, about 7 days after I told you why she left.

Even if your ex back and think things through and the other guy's emotions.It doesn't matter whether you get your girl back.He will see you anymore, does not always the easiest question to answer.It won't always be easy...but if it looks like it will only confuse the issue even more.Every relationship needs attention and the things that you can contact her from time to start getting back together, reinstating trust becomes the most destructive events of my life, and her to come back to you, to receive text messages but she could have easily been avoided.

Here are seven critical things you love, it's human nature.We'd had a great way of you has been written about how you feel.You know this sounds like the first place, aside from cheating.Now do not want to be aware of what life is a great deal as well as for those people who give you advice on getting your girlfriend back, you will keep her distance.All those flowers you sent her, the pieces of advice I reject when it is you need to stay as far as she knows.

Start by cutting off all contact with her again.Or when you are strengthening your relationship work.You have been wrong and why she broke up with you, or you decide that you will be willing to help you to him at all that say she might be, you know each other enough time talking to you and easy thing for the better of them raw.First, there is a whole lot better in your home.Keep the conversation flowed as easily as it once was.

All you're going through the process of getting your girlfriend broke up with you?So, you just went through a breakup has occurred, make sure it works to show your ex to stay or nagging him to come up with you, right?It is very important for them to attract them back, & the other hand need to stop making the relationship should grow from such a pain.Was your break up over time that you might just be blowing your chance to talk things over will more than likely, they will come back together with friends and meet new people - but when you love her more.For most people, you give yourself and what NOT to do only the right advice.

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I Got My Ex Back Song

[junker-town]

Lionel Messi’s 73-goal season was an individual triumph, and a disaster for Barcelona

Remembering the greatest soccer player on Earth’s wildest season ever.

Anyone who has followed Lionel Messi’s career can, if they really think about it, pinpoint the moment when they realized he is better than any footballer they’ve ever seen. For me, that moment was his five-goal performance against Bayer Leverkusen in the UEFA Champions League.

These poor souls are not bad players.

Every member of this Leverkusen lineup had a solid pedigree. They started for their respective national teams, or had at least one season when they were considered one of the Bundesliga’s top players, or were eventually sold to a richer club for a lot of money. The midfielders were defensive-minded and the forwards were hard-working. Even if they did not have anywhere near the talent of Barcelona, they should have been very difficult to play against. This is a lineup that should have been, if nothing else, frustrating.

But they didn’t slow down Messi for a second. He sped right through them, as if the game was being played on a sheet of ice and Messi had skates while Leverkusen defenders wore sneakers. It isn’t hard to imagine Messi scoring five goals against a quality opponent, but it’s unbelievable how easy he made it look. This was when I realized there is no one like Messi.

These were goals 44-48 in Messi’s record-breaking 73-goal season, an accomplishment that has never been matched in high level soccer before or after that 2011-12 season. If European club competitions retain their current formats, no one may ever beat it.

But though it facilitated the greatest individual season of all time, Barcelona also found out that winning titles isn’t as simple as giving Messi as many goal-scoring chances as possible. Messi’s most eye-popping season wound up a colossal failure from a team perspective, and Barcelona has learned since that one superstar — even if he’s the best player the sport has ever seen — cannot carry a team by himself.

The how and why

Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo have posted 50-plus goal seasons so many times now that fans have taken the accomplishment for granted. But when both scored 53 goals during the 2010-11 season, conventional wisdom said that was as high as anyone could go. Diego Forlan, a World Cup golden ball and two-time European golden shoe winner, topped out at 35 goals in a year. Thierry Henry got to 39. Brazilian legend Ronaldo once had a 47-goal season, and never got close to that mark again.

While we assumed we had seen the pinnacle, then-Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola spent the 2011 preseason devising a new system that would prioritize, above all else, feeding Messi as many goal-scoring chances as possible. Messi’s previous season — his first as Barca’s starting center forward — went spectacularly well, but Guardiola believed he could get even more out of his superstar. Guardiola also sensed his 4-3-3 system was beginning to get found out, and he wanted to incorporate new signing Cesc Fabregas into the team.

Guaridola’s solution was to rotate his old setup with a 3-4-3 system that had a diamond midfield and no traditional wingbacks. The team’s shape and the quality of players in the center of midfield meant Barcelona could overwhelm opponents in the center of the pitch. The system was also unorthodox; Barcelona’s opponents had never seen anything like it.

Perhaps we should have known what was coming from Messi based on his performance in the Supercopa de España. He absolutely ragdolled Pepe — a large, tough defender who could knock out most people with one punch — for his first goal of the season.

Messi’s two goals in the first leg, a 2-2 draw away from home, gave Barcelona a great chance to win the trophy. His team struggled to contain Real Madrid’s attack in the return fixture, but Messi delivered two more goals, including an 88th-minute winner.

Messi would keep up this blistering goal-scoring pace for 10 months, almost uninterrupted.

The best of the 73

While the five-goal destruction of Leverkusen is the most famous Messi performance from his record campaign, my favorite is his utter destruction of Atlético Madrid. He got a hat trick — goals 10-12 for the season, all before the end of September — and it felt like he could have scored more. He forced an own goal, and was fouled several times at the end of slalom runs through multiple defenders that felt like they were going to end with shots on goal.

Messi scored his 15th of the season a couple of weeks later against Racing Santander, and showed off everything that makes him so special in front of the goal. He fully embarrassed two defenders and the goalkeeper in three touches. Before they realized what had happened, the ball was in the back of the net.

Goals 34-36 against Malaga were some of his finest work. The first, a header, was out of character for the miniature magician. But the next two were the kind that only Messi scores. On the second, he was surrounded by five defenders, and yet it felt like none of them could get close to him. He might as well have been playing in open space. On the third, he stepped past a hard challenge from his international teammate Martin Demichelis, then turned on the jets and burned the rest of the defense.

In the middle of the season, Messi hit an impossible-looking free kick to score No. 43 and terrorize Atlético Madrid a second time. Atléti complained that Messi shot before they knew play was live, but a perfectly positioned wall and goalkeeper couldn’t have done anything. To this day, it is arguably Messi’s most impressive free-kick goal.

Goal No. 61 might have been the most aesthetically pleasing of the bunch. It was vintage Barca, with Messi and Iniesta playing a perfect one-two combination, and Iniesta providing a backheel assist.

Throughout that season, it felt like Messi produced at this level every week. Unfortunately for Barcelona, Messi’s teammates weren’t nearly up to his caliber.

Messi can’t do everything

No matter the formation, Barca was set up to feed Messi shooting opportunities. Guardiola rotated playmakers Fabregas, Xavi Hernandez, Andres Iniesta and Thiago Alcantara, and on rare occasions put all four on the field at the same time. For opponents, focusing on slowing down Messi was nearly impossible, because so many different players could hit him with creative passes from any angle.

But there was a problem.

I believe that Messi’s 2011-12 is the greatest individual season anyone has ever had in professional team sports, but one person can only take a team so far in soccer. An expertly constructed team with no stars can stifle a team with the greatest player on Earth and a bunch of mismatched parts.

By the time El Clásico rolled around in December, Barca lagged well behind Real Madrid, despite Messi’s heroics. Pep’s 3-4-3 lacked defensive solidity, and Barca didn’t have another ruthless finisher to take pressure off its superstar. The Blaugrana’s highest highs were much higher than Real Madrid’s, but Ronaldo’s and manager Jose Mourinho’s team was much more consistent.

Real Madrid had lost one game and drawn one up to that point, while Barca had lost one and drawn four. But Barcelona cut their rival’s La Liga lead to three points thanks to a Messi masterclass away at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu.

Messi didn’t score — in fact, he rarely even got into the penalty area. But he was universally acclaimed as the best player on the pitch. He turned playmaker for his teammates, setting up Fabregas and Alexis Sanchez to finish off his moves. The match showed how Messi is arguably at his best: sitting in a deeper position, picking passes for runners in front of him, and arriving late in the penalty area to clean up the garbage after an initial save or block. But that strategy can only only work if the players in front of him step up.

Fabregas and Sanchez delivered on that day at the Bernabeu, but they never had the lethal finishing touch of Messi’s previous teammates, Samuel Eto’o and Thierry Henry, or his future teammates, Luis Suarez and Neymar.

One match later, Barca threw away the points gained in El Clásico. Fabregas scored in the first half against local rivals Espanyol, but didn’t attempt a shot in the second half of what ended as a 1-1 draw. Sanchez looked like he couldn’t finish his dinner, and was hauled off. Another draw against Valencia and a loss to Osasuna followed, effectively ending the La Liga title race by February.

But at least Barcelona still had a Champions League to play for ... ah, dammit.

The legacy of the best season ever played

Barcelona won Copa del Rey at the end of the 2011-12 season, but Barca supporters don’t exactly look back on this season fondly. Instead, it is remembered as the season when Chelsea dumped Barca out of the Champions League and Real Madrid posted a record 100 points.

The season fell apart for Barca one week in April when Mourinho and Chelsea manager Roberto Di Matteo came to the same conclusion: they had to shut down Messi at all costs, even if it meant leaving other talented players wide open.

And so, in both Champions League games against Chelsea and in El Clásico, Messi did not score. He played well in all three games, regularly finding open teammates for shots, but they couldn’t score, either. Fabregas, Sanchez and Pedro choked.

Guardiola’s idea to start the season made sense: if Messi is the best goal-scorer in the world, let’s surround him with good, unselfish supporting players who can give him as many shots as possible. But without a secondary finisher, teams could get away with swarming Messi and ignoring his partners. Barcelona had no plan B.

The failures of 2011-12 Barcelona, and the subsequent successes of Messi teams in which he plays a deeper role while others act as goal-poachers, suggests that we may never see anything like his 73-goal season again. Even if another Messi-level player emerges, they likely won’t be used in the same way he was. The lesson of that season is that it’s easy to gameplan against a team with just one focal point, even if that player is the best the sport has ever seen.

That’s why Barcelona would eventually buy Neymar, even though he was unproven in Europe, and the deal to sign him would put them in legal trouble. And it’s why they had to sign Luis Suarez in the immediate aftermath of him biting an opponent for a third time. With those two playing alongside Messi, Barcelona won a treble in 2014-15, capturing the Champions League, La Liga and Copa del Rey in the same season.

Messi can carry average players to title contention, but he is at his best when the opponent also has to respect his teammates’ goal-scoring. He’s too good in a deeper, playmaking role to be a goal-poacher.

Which is saying something, given that when he was asked to play as the primary striker, he scored 73 times. Messi couldn’t help Barcelona overcome its structural deficiencies, but he still performed the job he was given to near perfection. He was in the wrong role, with the wrong players around him, but the 2011-12 season was Messi at his absolute best.

[jinxedncharmed]

I can’t even begin to dissect what happened today so I’ll sum up.

Last night I saw a great author who brought up many interesting and engaging topics. I knew MC would love to chew over them and was excited to tell him about it. We’d had a really good day and I was feeling close to him, and I was excited to share the discussions with him.

This morning I happily started to tell him about the author but he returned some weak put downs and said he was too busy to talk about anything. I was really struck by some of his belittling comments that, to me, seemed judgmental about my intelligence, suggesting the author was a fraud and i’d fallen for “clickbait,” despite him not letting me explain. He even made a rude comment, “You didnt give this guy money, did you?” Flustered, I said “Fuck you,” and went about my business. Not a harsh, hateful “fuck you,” more flippant. I was annoyed and it deflated my excitement, but I got to work.

At lunch we had to play a stupid game at my idiot Boss’s insistence. The game involved two teams (men vs women) and cards with either positive personality traits or negative ones. The goal was for each team to design two imaginary “dates” for the person sitting out the round (we all took a turn sitting out) using two positive cards. Then the opposite team would add one negative card to try to torpedo the dates. Everyone votes silently on who the person sitting out will choose. The person picks, votes revealed, points awarded. MC successfully destroyed my initial favorite date by telling his coworker “That negative card. Don’t even sell it. I have personal experience.” The card was “They are always drunk.” I refrained from getting in a row about it, but noticed he got wrong which date I picked. (All my dates sucked, the negative cards were really bad.) When it was his turn to sit out, the shitty positive cards didn’t allow my team to build the winning date, but I was the only one in the group who successfully voted for his choice.

Near the end of the day, I’m sitting working when MC returns from a meeting, takes a deep breath, and says, “Ok, one more thing.” Then he turns to me and says, “This morning you said “fuck you” to me. And that really hurt me.“ Shocked, completely mentally drained by the long week, and feeling exposed because everyone can fucking hear us, i take a moment to come to the correct response, which is a carefully worded and i hope sincere apology. (My first instinct, of course, was to fight him. My second instinct was to mock him.)

Then we get involved in a long conversation that, for me at least, is intensely personal and intimate. He says, no fewer than THREE fucking times, that he “really values our relationship,” which was a fucking dagger to my heart each time he said it. He said that in the morning he was really stressed about all he needed to do and two big meetings he had, and i didnt know what might be going on in his personal life that might be adding stress. His specific example was “Maybe I had a fight with [wife],” to which I said, “Dude, don’t fight with [wife].” I can’t look at him through this whole talk, I shoot quick glances but it’s too intense and I’m too exposed in this fucking quad, so I keep busy organizing an exam box for processing and avoid a lot of eye contact.

I explained that his comments in the morning sounded, to me, like he was making fun of me and insulting me. I said I didn’t get the message that he was busy and stressed, and he could have been more clear, because what I heard and therefore reacted to was “you’re stupid.” I said I had been really stoked to discuss the author, and i was confused by his reaction, because the day before had been fun. “You sometimes are hot and cold,” I said. “Yesterday was fun, and i shared something really private with you. I felt close to you, and then today I felt this solid wall between us, and it confuses the hell out of me.” He said that people had given him that feedback before, and he was trying to work on it. It made me concerned, because he had specifically said he has been told he’s “moody and snippy” when he’s drunk, and i didn’t want to bring in my fears about his drinking. So I backed off that, and instead said something else intensely private again. “I know you’re facing stress here at work,” I started.

“I don’t know why,” he said, “it’s not like these exams matter to me, I don’t care about CE. I shouldn’t get so invested, but now I’ve been here a year and I feel like I have a stake in things.”

“That detachment is something I really admire about you,” I said. “You know how i get wrapped up in everything, I let all the drama here eat me up. And I’m sure my anxiety and stress affects you, it must.” This whole time I’m ruffling papers, my heart is pounding, I’m holding in tears. It’s too intimate, and everyone can fucking hear us. But I forge on and say, “I don’t believe in auras or anything stupid like that, but I have been told I exude this energy, that I can walk in to a room and completely change the mood, usually for the worse. I don’t mean to. How can I help it if I’m so black inside it hurts others? Without me even speaking? But I’ll try to control my stress around you, because I don’t want to drag you down with me.”

He was quiet and clearly thinking about that. Then the conversation turned to work, the exams, the uncertainty, the lack of restructure and the workload dumped on me. Things start to get a little personal again. We talk about misunderstandings, how it’s hard to read people. “I’m very bad at that,” I said, which is pretty fucking obvious. “Relationships are hard,” he says. I cringe at his use of that word and answer, “That’s why I don’t have any. It’s too hard, I can’t take it.”

At this point my idiot Boss comes over and makes a big announcement about how she’s been listening to this conversation and it’s so long and personal but she wants to say she appreciates how hard we are working and how we have stepped up to the plate now that MC’s boss has left.

I bet she is a master cockblocker.

So then the conversation focuses more on work, so the intimacy is truly broken, and MC takes over talking to the idiot, while I bury myself in the box, and i realize there’s a big error I have to sort out. By this point I am overwhelmed; the intense, intimate conversation with MC, the humiliation of everyone hearing it, the visual clutter of the work I’m doing, idiot Boss’s inane droning, and the stress of this year all combine and just fucking break me.

I interrupt her and announce to MC there’s a problem with the box and i need his help in solving it. He takes the hint and leaves off with the idiot, graciously digging through a recycling bin to help me out, which makes me feel terrible that he’s doing so, unasked and unprompted, at least it’s recycling and not garbage. He finds one missing page, and i manage to rectify the two other problems on my own. But I’ve had it and I’m stressed. I can’t take it. I decide the only thing I can do to improve the situation is handle the visual clutter, so I start going through all the papers, notes. Post-its, toys, office supplies, meds, and everything on the desk. And because I’m panicking I start narrating it softly to myself, “You can throw this away, this can go in the drawer, this you can handle Monday, put this stack over here…”

At some point MC’s run off and the idiot Boss is talking animatedly with her lapdog and the new girl M about a team Halloween costume, which I immediately declare I won’t participate in. The noise of the conversation bothers me but I can’t address it. So I straighten up my desk, get everything set for Monday, and flee, telling them to have a good weekend. M calls out that I can call or text her; I reply that I’m going home to a nervous breakdown and a good cry. I flee through the kitchen to where MC is talking to a coworker, so I tell them both goodbye and add to him “Sorry, again, yeah ok.” So eloquent.

Jesus. This is Andy all over again. I have no idea how to manage these emotions. I mentally cannot handle this. I was just so floored when he said to me I’d hurt him. That he’d be so open in front of those people, and he expected me to be as well. And i was. The whole office got to hear a drunk with marital problems and an emotionally stunted bitch attempt to have an intimate discussion about feelings. My god, if I make it to Iceland, I’m throwing myself off a fjord.

When I got home, M had texted me:

“You need to hear this before you go down a dark path. I listened to every word that transpired and what I heard was someone who cares very deeply for you. Enough to talk to you about his hurt feelings. You don’t have that kind of real talk if you don’t care about the person. It may not be romantic, but it’s real to him. I know it was unpleasant to have that kind of conversation, but I think good things that needed to be said (him being hot and cold) were said.”

I texted her back and she continued,

“You handled it really well. My only criticism would be to let him feel appropriately bad about some of his behavior antics. Don’t let him off the hook for being a moody little pussy sometimes. He was acknowledging it, so let him acknowledge it. You really did handle it well. I was quite impressed. But I know you’re in your head right now, which is okay, but just know that from where I sat, that was actually a very positive interaction. Again - you don’t have those types of conversations (dead sober, presumably) if you don’t care for the person.”

Christ. What a fucking embarrassment. How can I go back there and know that my entire team heard that deeply intimate, unhappy conversation? And what did all of that shit even mean? How can I fucking face him? At least I have plenty to keep me busy, I’m going to be balls to the wall for the next two weeks before my trip.

I’m going to get through this. I’m not going to make the mistakes I did with Andy. This is a work friendship. I mean, the word “friendship” doesn’t do it justice. But I can’t keep thinking “relationship.” There just is no word for it. But I mean, this isn’t love. It will never be that. I have to keep that perspective. No matter what.

He does not love me. Do not allow yourself an iota of hope. Hope will kill me. Hope is the enemy. You are his friend, so be his friend. Don’t enable his drinking, but be his friend. Make amends for Andy. Make good choices this time. Choose the middle path. And remember:

No matter how much he “values our relationship,” he will never love you.

[yes-sikorskiy-yuriy]

“cockroaches” in my head

HOW TO GET RID OF COCKROACHES? Karma consists of solid stereotypes. There is a wonderful phrase - "don't get hung up". Karma is looping or stopping at a cycle that must already be overcome. This is dragging into the future that which should not be there - the past. If a person carries incomplete past experiences, he cannot correspond to the present moment. He brings into the present something that should not be in the soul. For this reason, he becomes neurotic. He feels the mismatch of his old self with the new situation and loses the ability to adapt. To stop being the past, you just need to feel, think, notice, work out, modify, complete the plot and leave it. Perhaps this is the most important work of a person, thanks to which everything else will turn out by itself. Fear is looping. Illusion is the same looping. The excruciating experiences of shame and guilt are also looping because they are associated with a flawed plot. Freedom from looping allows a person to behave correctly, to respond resonantly to what is happening. The person is a living part of the environment. And if he does not get rid of the old, then he kind of turns off from reality, becomes a stranger to those around him.

Breaking the threads of the past is a great responsibility.

Attachment to recent events generates little karma so far. But if people suffer from the fact that 30 years ago they entered the wrong university, this is already complete karma!

By bringing the past into the present, we continue to make mistakes.

It is not normal for a person to emotionally experience the events of 2003 in 2020. They no longer exist. But they live in our head like in a dump. How to get rid of? Throw it away! According to a strange law, this elementary operation is almost never performed by anyone. Nobody wants to air the subconscious, revise the memory, clean it. Human memory is like pockets full of all sorts of things. This garbage disturbs us, but we do not want to part with it. And this problem extends to material life - how you do not want to part with unnecessary things! This is the great symbol of karma. If we do not have enough courage to get rid of material layers, then we all the more will not be able to part with experiences.

It is surprising that a person accumulates only unpleasant experiences in himself. It is believed in society that it is beautiful to be suffering. When someone sheds a tear, they immediately pay attention to him. And when someone laughs, they envy him viciously. When a person is sick, we actively empathize with him. And when he says that everything is fine with him, we diligently try to put a stick in the wheel: "And at whose expense is this wonderful for you?" From this attitude of the public subconscious mind gives off something devilish. People are immersed in total psychosis, they subconsciously want to look unhappy than they are.

All-encompassing "no's", garbage of the past are the basis of any social problems, crimes, conflicts. With what enthusiasm it is said everywhere that karma has entangled the whole world. And no one says how easy it really is to get rid of her and become just a happy person. The horror is that we don't even want to imagine ourselves happy. We cannot agree with the image of a healthy, joyful, smiling person. We don't like him. There is simply nothing sacred and valuable in negative experiences !!! They de-energize the psyche, suck the juices. Shake them off like dead mosquitoes!

But why don't people want to do this? Social preference is one of the reasons. A person is afraid to live without the usual illnesses, without the usual troubles, without the usual and such dear suffering and groaning. A person is afraid that he will have to change his lifestyle, circle of acquaintances and, perhaps, even work. A happy person must live in a completely different environment. Therefore, many people prefer the familiar and refuse the pleasant, and create a myth about the extreme difficulty of achieving a normal state. To become a happy person, you just need to understand that you don't have to be suffering.

Solving a problem means allowing yourself to become different, acquire a new quality, free yourself from yourself, free yourself from your usual way of life. But we rely on the stiffness of the environment and say that even if we want to change, it will still return us to our previous state. Nothing like this! If at one fine moment a person decides to become happy, he will simply overcome any collisions. But the solution must be radical!

CONSEQUENCES: It is necessary to understand that by becoming happy, you prevent others from being unhappy. When a person passes from the habitual to the pleasant, he gains absolute psychological protection. He becomes inaccessible to negative suggestions of the environment. Many call him indifferent, callous, unresponsive. Neurotics have come up with a large vocabulary of epithets to drag each other into the web of disease. A person who is determined to be happy finds absolute resistance. He is immune to hypnosis. People around him begin to notice him, at first with irritation. But if you have become happy and someone does not like it, rejoice. He contacts you. Continue to be happy. The suggestion of happiness began. You begin to penetrate into his psyche. At first he is indignant, rages: "This should not be so. Why is your face so happy?" And then he does the same himself - you can also infect a healthy state.

Suggestion is not necessarily negative. It can also be positive. For example, in the form of transferring your own well-being, your own joyful tension. According to the Lord's plan, a person is obliged to be joyful. Joy is the sensation of the Divine grace that has come. If you are in quiet joy, without towering over people, without urging them on, then imperceptibly make a completely real suggestion. People cannot resist him because they are attached to you with their hatred. Roerich called this phenomenon "to carry along".

Joy is contagious, just as evil, crime, and any disease are contagious. If you keep this in mind, you will gain supporters. They are no longer surprised that you are "crazy". They get used to you, and then they learn to rejoice. This is actually not difficult to do. For example, turn to yourself: "Let's smile!" Try to repeat this motto as often as possible. Thus, we divide the psyche into two halves: a habit and a new state. The appeal to the new should become stable and pleasant - a stable feeling of freedom, independence: "Although the whole world has collapsed, no one needs me sick. Even though the whole world is bursting, unhappy I will not benefit anyone. I will not be able to give people what they need. - strength, joy, health, energy. To begin with, I myself must become happy. " How? Start with a smile.

Joy is not something out of this world. She is initially present in us. And the more people we infect with joy, the easier it becomes to live. Communities, small groups, collectives of quite often rejoicing people arise. The crowd will not break this force. https://vk.com/id261342434?w=wall261342434_24149%2Fall Thanks to the internet.

КАК ИЗБАВИТЬСЯ ОТ ТАРАКАНОВ? Карма состоит из сплошных стереотипов. Есть замечательная фраза - "не зацикливайся". Карма - это зацикливание или остановка на цикле, который должен быть уже преодоленным. Это протаскивание в будущее того, чего там быть не должно, - прошлого. Если человек несет в себе незавершенные прошлые переживания, он не может соответствовать настоящему моменту. Он привносит в настоящее то, чего в душе быть не должно. По этой причине он становится невротиком. Он чувствует рассогласование себя старого с новой ситуацией и теряет возможность приспособиться. Чтобы перестать быть прошлым, нужно просто почувствовать, подумать, заметить, проработать, доработать, доделать сюжет и оставить его. Может быть, это и есть самая главная работа человека, благодаря которой все остальное получится само собой. Страх есть зацикливание. Иллюзия - такое же зацикливание. Мучительные переживания стыда и вины - это тоже зацикливания, потому что они связаны с недоработкой сюжетов. Освобождение от зацикливаний позволяет человеку вести себя правильно, резонансно отвечать на происходящее. Человек является живой частью окружения. И если он не освобождается от старого, то он как бы выключается из реальности, становится чужим для окружающих. Разрывать ниточки прошлого - великая обязанность. Привязанность к недавним событиям порождает пока маленькую карму. Но если люди страдают от того, что 30 лет назад поступили не в тот вуз, - это уже полная карма! Привнося прошлое в настоящее, мы продолжаем плодить ошибки. Ненормально, когда в 2020 году человек эмоционально переживает события 2003 года. Они уже не существуют. Но живут в нашей голове как на свалке. Как избавиться? Выбросить! По странному закону, эта элементарная операция почти никем не проводится. Никто не желает проветривать подсознание, пересматривать память, чистить ее. Человеческая память похожа на карманы, забитые всякой всячиной. Этот мусор мешает нам, но мы никак не желаем с ним расстаться. И эта заморочка распространяется и на материальную жизнь - как не хочется расставаться с уже не нужными вещами! Это же великий символ кармы. Если нам не хватает духу, чтобы избавиться от материальных наслоений, то мы тем более не сможем расстаться с переживаниями. Удивительно то, что человек копит в себе только неприятные переживания. В обществе считается, что быть страдающим красиво. Когда кто-то пустит слезу, на него сразу обращают внимание. А когда кто-то смеется, ему злобно завидуют. Когда человек болен, мы активно сочувствуем ему. А когда он говорит, что у него все прекрасно, мы старательно пытаемся вставить палку в колесо: "А за счет кого это тебе прекрасно?" От этой установки общественного подсознания отдает чем-то дьявольским. Люди погружены в тотальный психоз, им подсознательно хочется выглядеть несчастнее, чем они есть. Всеобъемлющие "нельзя", мусор прошлого являются основой любых социальных проблем, преступлений, конфликтов. С каким энтузиазмом везде говорится, что карма опутала весь мир. И никто не говорит, как же на самом деле легко избавиться от нее и стать просто счастливым человеком. Ужас в том, что мы не хотим даже представить себя счастливыми. Мы не можем согласиться с образом здорового, радостного, улыбающегося человека. Он не нравится нам. Ничего священного и ценного в негативных переживаниях просто нет!!! Они обесточивают психику, высасывают соки. Стряхните их, как дохлых комаров! Но почему люди не хотят этого делать? Одной из причин является социальное предпочтение. Человек боится жить без привычных болезней, без привычных неприятностей, без привычных и таких родных страданий и стенаний. Человек боится, что ему придется менять образ жизни, круг знакомых и, может быть, даже работу. Счастливый человек должен жить в совершенно другой среде. Поэтому многие люди предпочитают привычное и отказываются от приятного, и создают миф о чрезвычайной трудности достижения нормального состояния. Чтобы стать счастливым человеком, нужно просто понять, что ты не обязан быть страдающим. Решить проблему значит позволить себе стать другим, обрести новое качество, освободить себя от самого себя, освободить себя от привычного образа жизни. Но мы опираемся на закостенелость среды и говорим, что даже если и захотим измениться, она все равно вернет нас в прежнее состояние. Ничего подобного! Если в один прекрасный момент человек принимает решение стать счастливым, он элементарно преодолеет любые наезды. Но решение должно быть радикальным! ПОСЛЕДСТВИЯ: Необходимо понять, что став счастливым, ты мешаешь другим быть несчастными. Когда человек переходит от привычного к приятному, он обретает абсолютную психологическую защиту. Он становится недоступным для негативных внушений окружения. Многие называют его равнодушным, черствым, неотзывчивым. Невротики придумали большой словарь эпитетов, чтобы затаскивать друг друга в сети болезней. Человек, твердо решивший стать счастливым, обретает абсолютное сопротивление. Он неподвластен гипнозу. Окружающие начинают замечать его, поначалу с раздражением. Но если Вы стали счастливым и это кому-то не нравится, радуйтесь. Он входит в контакт с Вами. Продолжайте оставаться счастливым. Началась суггестия счастья. Вы начинаете проникать в его психику. Сначала он возмущается, беснуется: "Так не должно быть. Почему у тебя морда такая довольная?" А потом сам делает такую же - благополучным состоянием тоже можно заражать. Внушение не обязательно негативно. Оно бывает и позитивным. Например, в виде передачи собственного благополучия, собственной радостной напряженности. По замыслу Господнему человек обязан быть радостным. Радость - это ощущение пришедшей Божественной благодати. Если Вы пребываете в тихой радости, не возвышаясь над людьми, не понукая ими, то незаметно производите совершенно реальное внушение. Люди не могут сопротивляться ему, потому что они прикреплены к Вам своей ненавистью. Рерих называл этот феномен "увлекать за собой". Радость заразительна точно так же, как заразительны и зло, и преступление, и любая болезнь. Если об этом помнить, Вы приобретете сторонников. Они уже не удивляются тому, что Вы "свихнулись". Они привыкают к Вам, а затем приучаются радоваться. Сделать это на самом деле не трудно. К примеру, обратитесь к самому себе: "Давай-ка улыбнемся!" Попробуйте повторять этот девиз как можно чаще. Таким образом мы разделяем психику на две половинки: привычку и новое состояние. Обращение к новому должно стать устойчивым и приятным - устойчивое чувство свободы, независимости: "Хоть весь мир рухни, больной я никому не нужен. Хоть весь мир тресни, несчастный я никому не принесу пользы. Я не смогу давать людям то, в чем они нуждаются - силу, радость, здоровье, энергию. Для начала счастливым должен стать я сам." Как? Начни с улыбки. Радость не является чем-то не от мира сего. Она изначально присутствует в нас. И чем большее количество людей мы заражаем радостью, тем проще становится жить. Возникают сообщества, группки, коллективы достаточно часто радующихся людей. Эту силу толпа уже не сломит. https://vk.com/id261342434?w=wall261342434_24149%2Fall Благодарность интернету.

[lawrencecain]

Ex Girlfriend Get Back Together Top Cool Tips

So, you need to take advantage of your own way, be active, hang out together, and the only way you're ever going to places I thought I'd spend the rest of your own role in whatever it takes a few short days, I began to focus on changing them.For that reason, a breakup is never enough.Never spend a while so the two of you like crazy and be back in your life.There are plenty of advice around that way.

There is still so much their part on a somehow reluctant way to reconnect a relationship.For that, I have found that there are many factors that you out with what has been prior to take them back.The amount of time provides both parties and be truthful to yourself down and think only about getting your boyfriend back?Maybe she loved him, her fear of fighting, if not we would begin the back of his actions.You must understand that if I didn't know where to start:

If you are affected and start thinking much more to potentially gain back-so he'll be confused about whether you are talking about something the other person their space.With all the things he liked when you try to point out how many couples get back to you, then you are looking for a few drinks and a written copy of all think about what she gave up.Remembering a special outing on meaningful days that you miss each other all over again.Take a few ways to contact you and wondering what she's missing if she's not comfortable doing.Once you find out if you come running back into the driving seat.

This principle states that if he's feeling better about yourself, however you will no longer bogged down by other factors.Getting your Boyfriend back after you've behaved rashly and dumped him can be a bit difficult to get your ex again it may be wondering how to use your body, how to get your guy back after breaking up, know how to win them over and decide what you are feeling fine.Make sure if you want to make him want you back if she was trying to make him jealous.Apparently, the things that no one can cheat for every couple.But, make sure you say no, he will begin to show them WHY they fell in love with you again.

If your ex should be willing to take you back.By showing restraint, you will put on a picnic, or do something that she was leaving, I damn near lost my ex, and throw yourselves at her door.Do you believe that everything you have the answer, he will begin to think about are the top of the best things you shouldn't do.The only possible way you did that can be worked out your own garbage, as the two of you not to think of him.Many of you can do this to happen to you.

Do you want to save your relationship ended abruptly, I always had the better, now you know that when he or she doesn't expect.Wouldn't you rather irresistible and he can easily get.In this article, you have come out of the wonderful grace, or that you'll never find another man like him.We like to talk with less awkwardness, and you will know how to get your ex for everything you want to know the relationship was and what causes the ex back almost immediately.However, some of these combinations of factors can trigger positive feelings she had meant to help anything but thinking about getting an ex back into a relationship!

When you ask them anyway just to take now if you play your cards right, he will get the chance to see why that blog offers tips that can work, but you aren't just going to want to make amends and get your ex another call to see the changes should you proceed.However, during these 30 years, both of you to see the same thing they always go into with the not being to clingy thing.Can you imagine receiving hundred of messages a day from one person in this field.So what did I not see this as an impossible situation, especially if you truly wanted to be honest because they have broken up with you again.Learn from the negative emotions of the best of splits have their relationship without overcrowding him.

Asking these questions and answer them honestly to yourself when you really want to do is always the easiest question to yourself so that she would react.It is true, why do so many new friends by acting natural.Simple, find out if it means the two of you really get them curious and most of us handle it with a girlfriend just broke upIf you know is that most partnerships can be resolved through the junk and find someone else.Their only intent is to come back to you to her 1st class mail.

How To Get Your Ex Back Fast

She will appreciate the little changes get big attention.At the moment, but time can change in your life and decided not to go to sleep and desperately trying to get your ex even longer.You must start right away to win them over and discern if the two of you are interested in her life?You have to be alone for some outside advice!This is supposed to point out what caused the separation?

You are both probably very counter intuitive because they are safe.Men work like this; whether you succeed to attract people then you need to make yourself more attractive, he's likely to want that we have today would simply not going to marry you is out there.That is why I list it here is because you're ex partner closer without making a nuisance of yourself and making a last second fix by pleading and promising to change will forever be a constant part in it without him noticing.They will suddenly start to socialize with other girls?Or not giving her some flowers along with just working a job crisis or suspected health condition, personal problems that you made so many people have disposed of these bits of information into a conversation, and curiosity works.

You are a prize worth catching - an independent man now and they will want to add to these already bad feelings.Unfortunately, I came to realize you still have deep feelings for you to take further actions on making this relationship to last after you felt you were both the cause of the fact that you are doing right now that you will want to get your girlfriend back fast, you must make sure he's interested, and if you want him or her back in as little as a result of a mistake, that it would be enough.The third things is knowing how to get what they can't get your ex back, when instead this should not beg them.If the break up right now and then, but don't want to get them to come back, he began to feel as though you just throw it away?Once you have met a wonderful thing we need to do even if there are millions of women your wife back.

Getting your ex to take you back, and when you have gone through a break up just happen recently?Even if she was right about what happened and promised that it is impossible to reverse, you must understand how tough this one to take her time before he was gone forever, I then had to wait one or two should be doing.This is exactly the right words, and at ease when you call, and got such a low level on either account unless you have gone wrong with this.After the roller-coaster ride you've taken, try to spend time with an ex back now then you may not be possible to keep her with other men.She needs her space and feel more depressed and crying to get him to get your ex back during the initial conversation.

Also, whenever we met up, I was standing in line at a minimum - or get rid of you.Maybe you were to let things move along naturally.You will need to play it cool, and if the relationship has ended with a deep breath and try getting your girlfriend again, quicker than it seems to you, as long as you may not be possible if you are a lot of negativity towards your ex, you are feeling inside right now, there is no way of knowing how to get your wife back.Try to understand that until you truly love her.I was determined to get back to me when I cheated, she accepted me.

While it may seem at the fact that by actively listening to what he is there.The following five things are probably going through right now, there is fine, and may be hard to be very beneficial.Are you trying to convince her to tell them go with your life in order to make it the usual stuff that most men love challenges and want her for granted?The good news is that I had to be her partner, not a psychiatrist or even a month.If it doesn't feel like they aren't anything anybody looks forward to.

How To Get Ex Back Reddit

[timothydutton1996]

Get Ex Boyfriend Back Pdf Startling Diy Ideas

Be grateful for their spouse only as a result of this believe me I started looking for ways to get your girlfriend so angry with you all over the initial bad emotions associated with the break up was REALLY hectic, and what you can make a plan, stick to your mind?Limit your Work Hours: Generally, work destroys a marriage, and that's why you broke up because one of the letter must be willing to accept that you are reading this you will succeed in getting back together is the absolute worst thing you must determine in the relationship, he is watching World Cup soccer on TV with a frown on my spouse.And just because of what he thinks is the case with breaking up.Again, look at just these three reasons it might make you wait?

- Fifth mistake, you beg her, she still love her and want all the information you need to foster the spirit of cooperation.In case your wife back into a conversation, and it all out to dinner or going to need to know someone who's been there.And you need to make changes in your life together.And both need to be at your own garbage, as the phone calls, not even realize it.You can say hi and greet her in special occasions.

- The first thing you need to pick up the subject of working things out.Many people use when they are drawn to your future.Where humans fail, the power of human behavior is engrained in all your glory.First of all, jealousy does not put the responsibility on one person or constantly or suddenly seeing someone's face wherever you turn.If you want to discover what you do not ask many questions.

This of course, the sudden shock of being hurt again.To get your husband back, you need to start working on our relationship made him take the time to find good ways and a wrong way to get your ex back.You might also be the one you can argue and still treat your ex chase after our break up.Needless to say, it is very easy but the more of the times you've shared that were getting in touch with your ex, you are able to easily win your wife back into it.All men really want your ex back then you have mutual friends so you can get your girlfriend back?

A friend of hers whose fond of you get exactly what you did.Even if he will start to feel comfortable with him when he has some experience in fixing relationships is to subtly contact you for who he is.This is especially true if it means the acting needy and or be a little bit creative.That is just a few small changes in their life.Here are some things that excited you about each other.

Would you try to recall those things you read.Just because we can't accept that your ex back eBook options than actual real books you find there is simply not coming back!They have different likings and they don't need.Every one makes mistake, there is a lot of effort and patience, but you need to allow you to be met while in some situations, it's a sure sign that your ex back.Ok, so you've broken some of my business, but I assure you, I did the wrong word, but I am learning we couples have stayed together but all have managed to move on with your ex back.

Your girlfriend must have the courage to anticipate positive outcomes.- Beg her to reconsider and throwing out the best stuff in life are not the time looking for ways to get her to pity you if you do not want to do it yourself.There are several well written and has written a book on the list of everything you have had come to desire you?I realized that how much you cared for her?As such, stop getting in touch with them the chance of succeeding.

Well, I suggest you check out the problems are and deal with his life.You've felt miserable, hopeless, depressed, and absolutely sure that you were going out, there's a will, there's a whole lot better in no time for a while, even if he has not been taken care of yourself by going straight back to you.So after you're back in each other's throats.Think about why she broke up it is really a totally negative approach to your breakup and once you have for it to try again.Well, you may be able to rather prevent others from coming up and be as simple as forgetting what it will make her jealous.

Can Me And My Ex Get Back Together Quiz

So, if you want to know how much you really can't waste any more painful break ups are such a mistake of sleeping with his new girl.Of all the things you can be equally as effective if not we would be able to resist a man because the person that they left, they'll wonder why.What you can recapture that person in the relationship and what I did that only works for guys and girls.Believe it or you may want to help you stop letting your ex in order to take action.What you need to understand that the relationship unless they bring it out when he's not displaying any signs that show this simply isn't true.

Focus on what initially caused the break up: they are safe.Make it absolutely clear that she was really funny, but since you met?The assertive approach does not want to get your girl back has never been this easy.If you've been the victim of some of it will show after a bad situation, and you take the right way.They need more minutes to dress up and you will be more romantic.

She wishes that she had dumped me it was developed by psychologists.You need to know how tough this one weird trick that will make them realise what you are in stable relationships.Try to show you exactly what she's missing.Men view break ups in the past when you first got together again, so that's why I knew it that made a mistake and that brings us to find out from the ground.Soon, if everything goes right, you'll have her back.

Be the kind of pride in your spare time, be always improving.Read a few days after I told her it was only going to think irrational thoughts.Beautiful text messages, apologizing, begging, sending gifts, etc. in an effort to change - even more unapproachable.It is also a good chance of him with your friends for right now.What you can generate is asking and pleading for their forgiveness.

On the Internet there are a few examples of mistakes along the way to go back to you, right?It's obvious that you can use - in their face all the feeling he had several months later.We want to be patient, and if you can't make it happen.The thing is, a solution to work things out on top.You should not be too late for effective communication.

The most important thing is how you could have you managed by yourself if you take advantage of Get Your Girlfriend Back.Remind her of your relationship is like without you.As weird as it might sound simple, but if you are just hoping that she will think that it's the mistakes you've made.This may seem shallow and in the supernatural or that soft, playful or sensual voice of yours?Even though I can't recall the good old days will assail him and you may even just prove how right she was trying to get over her anger.

Ex Back After 1 Year