#max and sandra

[writeturnlove]

There will be a Max Burnett fic. I have to write it. It’s also necessary because of one specific scene that needed to be extended and brightened up a bit.

In my humble opinion, I think some of us were given a few crumbs when we richly deserved all that cake.

Don’t worry, sis … we’re getting the 🎂.

[bi4pan-polls]

Poll: Finale

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

max “had a crush on sandra for years to the point where everyone knew about it except for sandra” bennett and sandra “dated max for 4 months and already started planning her proposal” wilkinson. btw. if you even care.

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

anyway here’s my cornley polytechnic drama society into the woods fancast because I think it’s the perfect sort of show for them to fuck up 👍

jonathan plays the baker, alongside sandra as the baker’s wife. I imagine this is shortly enough after peter pan that they’re still very bitter at one another. said bitterness absolutely shows onstage, but it fits the characters perfectly and the audience ends up thinking that they’ve just finally gotten good at acting. jonathan brings a homemade “medieval feast” to celebrate opening night and it poisons the entire cast

annie plays the witch. this was the only casting decision that was unanimously regarded as good until chris let it slip that he’d ultimately done it because she was “the loudest singer.” robert took great offense at this and, despite having no interest in the part before, began campaigning to play the witch instead. it did not work. annie’s witch costume has two layers to make the quickchange at the end of act 1 easier, but the top layer keeps falling off before the reveal is supposed to happen. her magic staff is supposed to emit a smoke effect but it keeps malfunctioning, and at a certain point she just gives up and tapes lit cigarettes (stolen from trevor) to it. this goes about as well as you’d think

dennis plays the narrator. everyone had assumed it’d be an easy role for him since he could just read all of his lines off his book prop, but this is proven wrong near instantly when he starts genuinely reading the book instead. when dennis actually does start reading from the script, it becomes immediately clear that he somehow has the director’s copy and the entirety of the rehearsal notes are read out loud, including several deeply personal things that chris has written in his script for convenience

dennis also plays the mysterious man, but he keeps forgetting which way he’s supposed to be related to the baker. over the course of the show he goes from father, to son, to brother, to father again, to distant cousin, to grandmother

chris plays cinderella’s prince, alongside robert as rapunzel’s prince. they spend the entire show trying to out-act one another, and it goes without saying that this ends up a complete disaster. robert makes any moment into an unplanned duet to try and prove that he could have succeeded in seducing the baker’s wife. chris shows up at rapunzel’s tower and attempts to choke robert out with her wig. they get in an opt-up battle at the end of agony (reprise) that ends with robert singing a note so high it shatters a stage light

in accordance with typical into the woods casting, chris also plays the wolf. he orders a very expensive “wolf suit” online from someone he thinks is a bespoke costume artist. it doesn’t arrive until opening day, and it becomes immediately clear that what chris has actually bought is a full on fursuit. it’s very hard to see in and he keeps running into the fake trees

robert is double cast as milky white. there is no practical reason for this whatsoever, as milky white could’ve just as easily been a puppet or some kind of cutout on wheels, and it’s very obvious the whole thing is just a power move on chris’ part. during the scene where milky white is meant to “eat” the props, vanessa misunderstands and literally feeds them to him. he chips a tooth on cinderella’s shoe

due to a lack of numbers, vanessa is playing both cinderella and rapunzel. her costume is split down the middle, and due to this she can only face in one direction as each part. this means that half of the time she’s facing away from whoever she’s talking to, and that she frequently has to walk/run backwards without turning her head at all. whenever cinderella and rapunzel talk to each other she faces straight forward. the break-off mechanism in rapunzel’s side of the wig doesn’t work (sandra ends up stealing a single, barely visible hair), so she’s also constantly tripping on her hair

max, being in a new relationship with sandra, desperately wanted to play alongside her as the baker so that they could kiss onstage. unfortunately for him, he is playing jack instead. although this is maybe the single most-fitting role he’s ever been cast in and he’s genuinely giving a great performance, the opportunity is ruined by his having to do every scene accompanied by robert’s milky white

lucy was supposed to play little red, but was pulled from the production the day before opening by her parents, who have banned her from performing with “robert’s troupe” after what happened in peter pan

consequently, little red is now being played by trevor, who is wearing a costume far, far too small for him. trevor manages to get away with reading his lines off papers pinned to the inside of his cloak, but he doesn’t know any of the songs, so sandra has to sing them offstage for him while he lipsyncs

all of the ensemble characters are played by a celebrity “guest” frantically switching between various comically large hats. chris tried to get francis back for this part but after some careful deliberation he determined that it would genuinely be easier to kidnap a famous person than to get francis to come back after the disaster that was peter pan. the tension is only worsened when, via a botched music cue, it’s revealed that francis is now an active member of trevor’s metal band

the giant was supposed to have been played by trevor via voiceover from the sound booth, but now that he’s onstage playing little red the part is left to approximately four members of the run crew who are desperately trying and failing to say the lines in unison. lucy breaks into the theatre sometime during the baker’s wife search sequence and takes over the giant’s part the next time she’s on, much to trevor’s dismay

the worst fuck-up award goes to annie, for accidentally knocking the supports out from under dennis’ narrator platform during last midnight and triggering a chain reaction in which every fake tree onstage topples each other one by one like some terrible, life-threatening game of dominos. honorable mention goes to chris for spending $6000 of max’s inheritance on a custom costume without actually seeing it at any point during the process

the worst injury award goes to max, for getting his circulation cut off and almost losing a hand after his arm got stuck inside the golden hen puppet midway through act 2. honorable mention goes once again to chris, who got stabbed with a bunch of glass shards when robert broke that stage light

[earthmoonz]

WIFEY. | EPISODE SEVEN (7.5)

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a/n: amazing tea poses made especially by the lovely @madebycoffee thank you so much! I love them!

(transcript below)

(MAX): …Hi.

(SANDRA): Max, come in.

*

(MAX): Thank you for letting my friend come with me, I’m a bit nervous and-

(SANDRA): Don’t worry about it. Dais mentioned you might not come alone. 

(MAX): Cool. Um-

(SANDRA): D’ya want a cuppa? Me mum’s got all sorts in her cupboard.

(MAX):  Oh! English breakfast would be great if you’ve got it. 

(SANDRA): Alright, [to Lena] Same for you?

(LENA): I’m okay thanks, is it cool if I sit out in the living room? Just to give you two some privacy.

(SANDRA): Go for it. Let me know if you need anything.

**

(SANDRA): So how do you want to do this? Do you have questions or do you want me to just start talking?

(MAX): Um, I guess I have questions? Like, Daisy said you were cellmates so was that for a long time or?

(SANDRA): I met your mum around seven years ago. Typically, when new inmates are inducted, we’re paired up with someone to show us the ropes. Your mum was that for me. I think when I got there she was a few years into her time.

(MAX): Right…and how was she? Was it…hard for her? I mean I know it’s hard for everyone but she asked me to stop visiting quite early on. She told my stepmum it was too much for her and I never got to- Sorry I’m rambling.

(SANDRA): Don’t apologise. Look, your mum and I rarely got into the deeper stuff. We looked out for each other and we tried to keep each other in good spirits. I do know that she loved you very much. She kept a picture of you by her bed, and I know that when she spoke to your stepmum, she asked after you. I don’t have kids myself, but having family visit you inside can be as painful as it is necessary. Not everyone can hack it.

[personinthepalace]

from Mischief's instagram

[fallulahballulah]

Yes there are two for the last one, I couldn’t decide which I liked better. But anyway, it’s getting late and I thought these were funny

[stopandimagineloveforever]

A toast to our reunion. The HBO Original Limited Series The Sympathizer premieres Sunday at 9pmET exclusively on Max

Photo Credit📸: @davisfactor

(via Robert Downey Jr on Instagram)

April 12, 2024

[ccbsrmsf1]

I’m so excited about The Sympathizer 🤩🤩🤩

[flustered-art]

The Peter Pan goes wrong pre-show bits and interactions!

[everythingmaxriemelt]

Max in “Zwei zu Eins” (2:1) with Sandra Hüller and Ronald Zehrfeld ❤️

Directed by Natja Brunckhorst. Full trailer here.

[bi4pan-polls]

Poll: Round 4 #1

Image ID in Alt text*

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

is this anything

[enter-drfrog]

CPDS as quotes from my theatre department’s discord

“You were born out of hate sex? That explains a lot about you” -Robert Grove (almost definitely in reference to Chris)

“I could really use some meat snacks” -Max Bennett

“Where the fuck are my lips?” -Dennis Tyde (except he’s too sweet, I don’t think he would swear intentionally)

“Three monks, dressed as……three monks” -Chris Bean (this is just the nine wise men quote)

“I don’t jump ropes. I prefer to trip on them” -Annie Twilloil

“Something’s wrong with this kid. He watched SpongeBob…and now he’s all gay” -Trevor Watson (for reasons I can’t explain)

“Go sing a romantic ballad about the moon, you cuck!” -Robert Grove

“All I had was an inhaler and a dream” -Vanessa Wilcock-Wynn-Carroway

“You guys got skittles in there???” -Max Bennett

“I spit on Charles Dickens” -Robert Grove

“She has a son and a husband. She’s seen boy chest before. It’s just boy chest!” -Sandra Wilkinson

“Wow. Standing up is crazy” -Vanessa-Wilcock-Wynn-Carroway

“I used to get mad at people and approach them teeth-first” -Robert Grove

“He got that little Victorian orphan in him” -Annie Twilloil (probably about Dennis)

“The only thing straight about me is my hair. I have scoliosis” -Chris Bean

“I’ve always wanted you to die. That’s my dream” -Robert Grove (about Chris obviously)

“We have a lot of hoes” -Dennis Tyde

“The world would be a better place if people were having sex instead of war” -Annie Twilloil

“Did you watch those videos as a kid? Probably not. You were probably normal” -Max Bennett

“You know a lot of words. And you said a lot of them. And I didn’t know any of them” -Dennis Tyde

“I’m trying to be with you, not like you” -Sandra Wilkinson

“I did wander…..once” -Max Bennett

“It’s giving bubonic plague” -Annie Twilloil

“Hey listen, I’ve fucked a lot of dudes in my day” -Trevor Watson

“This is now a dictatorship and I win” -Robert Grove

“And look at how much more mature I am. Look at my accolades” -Chris Bean

“Pumpkins or ghosts?” “Errrr—Orange!” -Vanessa Wilcock-Wynn-Carroway

“Cringe, cringe, cringe” -Jonathan Harris (after ‘not so fast Inspector!!’ or not being able to open a single door)

“I’m just a really bad person” -Robert “Yeah you give off that vibe” -Trevor

“Ack, why do you have your arms out?” -Annie Twilloil

“I just love bullying children” -Robert Grove

“I just want to frown all the time and listen to rock and roll and be sad” -Trevor Watson

[earthmoonz]

WIFEY. | EPISODE SEVEN (7.6)

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a/n: uk prisons do have a uniform (grey sweats) but as time progresses (and if you're well behaved) you are able to wear plain, casual clothes. (source)

(transcript below)

(MAX): Do you believe she- I mean did something happen before she-

[Catching onto Max’s train of thought, Sandra sighs]

(SANDRA): I wish I knew Max. I really, really do. At first, you mum looked forward to getting out but as the time drew closer something changed. We’d have workshops and courses to prepare us and she just...checked out.  At first I thought she might of been scared so I tried to have a word but…it was something bigger than that. She just got more and more into herself. I’m so sorry. I wish I could have done more but-

(MAX): No, it’s fine…you’ve actually been really helpful. Thank you.

(SANDRA): You’re very welcome. If you need anything, anything at all, please let me know. I’d love to keep in touch and (distant small talk continues)

[TEXT]

R.

Got a job for you tomorrow. Ev Harbour. 

[personinthepalace]

Peter Pan Goes Wrong UK Tour: Before and After the Show

from Clare Noy's tiktok