#*max kyle

[earthmoonz]

public / private 💘

[atomic-chronoscaph]

On the set of Dune (1983)

[charlotte-fleming]

Here’s my take on Max Jägerman - he is NOT the progressive bully that asks Pete’s pronouns before beating the shit out of him, what he IS is a dumbass.

For example he’ll overhear Caitlyn (Cool Kid™️ so he respects her) talking to Kyle about taking her estrogen and assume it’s a drug and ask for a hit. Kyle and Caitlyn, confused, explain that it’s a hormone girls devolop that guys don’t have to the same level, and Caitlyn obviously has less so takes supplemental doses. Max thinks this means Caitlyn has a medical condition and is like “Oh my god dude I’m so sorry you’re sick? Do you like go to the hospital? Nah I’m not trying to take anyone’s meds my bad bro,” and Caitlyn is too dumbfounded and also entertained to correct him.

Later, in the case that he does not fall and die, Max eventually apologizes to Richie for all the times he punched him in the balls. Richie goes “it’s chill - besides, I don’t even have balls, so it didn’t even hurt as much as you though”. Max is MORTIFIED with sympathy “You don’t have balls?? Oh my god dude how come?” Ruth without a beat says he lost them in a tragic accident many years ago and Max fully believes her. Richie goes along for the bit.

Even further along the line, Max asks about the trans flag on Richie’s bag and Richie explains it’s for people who were born the wrong gender and want to change. Max goes “Wait dude you want to be a girl? Shittt why didn’t you tell me?! Do you have a new name or something like that? Like…Richietta?”

The real progressive bullies, obviously, are pre-Max’s death Kyle and Jason, who apologize before beating someone up and then defend their pronouns in the same breath.

[miss-constelia]

FINALLY DONE!!! - Hatchetfield students!

-collapses on the ground and dies-

[bunny-jpeg]

how can i take your order? all you have to do is pick a dessert, drink and driver/character of your choosing! are you in the mood for a mille-feuille or a big slice of chocolate cake! please, please, please indicate who you want me to write about!!

the servers are from the following: formula one, call of duty, baldur's gate 3, haikyuu, one piece, jujustu kaisen, detective comics (dc), marvel comics (but i am open to any other fandoms you might have in mind! please do not hesitate to ask!!)

i do also accept polyam relationships! (pairing + reader), up to about four people! just to make it manageable on my end!

all orders can be made to the inbox for @bunny-jpeg and i'll get your order together asap! also let me know if you want it extra sweet or a little more spicy !

mille-feuille: “that’s it, fuck, that’s a good girl.”

butter tart: "let's ruin ourselves for anyone else."

sugar pie: “gonna let daddy hear ya?”

zebra cake: "well, what do we have here?"

carrot cake: "swallow it. all of it."

millionaire shortcake: "if they saw you now, you'd be the biggest shame to your family."

pots de crème: "if a picture is worth a thousand words, then i could probably get a million dollars for this photo."

oat flapjacks: "i'm not scared of you."

persian rolls: "it's mandatory i finish. you getting to finish is a treat."

spice pie: "i didn't know it was possible to be a liar and a slut."

mushroom pie: "if you don't shut up. i'm going to shut you up."

lemon slice: "i'm sorry, what was that? i can’t hear you over all that noise you’re making."

swiss roll: "everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you."

pumpkin pie: "i've met strays who were more obedient."

pastry braid: "your job is to make me cum. now get to work."

sausage roll: "i wonder how much i could get for photos of this cunt."

pithivier: "if you don't behave, i'll let the boys take care of you."

tiramisu: “my little slut to ruin.”

sponge toffee: "aw, is someone mad that they can only cum because of me?"

pull-apart bread: "i love you"

powered sugar donuts: "marry me."

blueberry bars: “gonna make you a mamma and you're gonna make me a daddy.”

pudding chomeur: "i don't share."

ice cream bars: “did you see the way he was eyeing you? he need to know you're mine."

chocolate cake: "do you feel that? that's what happens when i think about you all day."

soufflé: "i'll be gentle."

fried dough: "i know virginity is a stupid concept... but i want to take yours."

apple pie: "now be good and beg. thank you."

vanilla cheesecake: "where are your manners?"

berry trifle: "wrong. try again."

maple cream pie: "either you wear the necklace with my name on it, or wear my bruises around your neck."

s'more: "The accent gets to you, doesn't it?"

belgian waffles: "i cum in that every night."

pancakes: "if you bite me. i'll bite you back."

loaf of whole wheat bread: "you're going to shut that mouth and take me."

jos louis: "does someone need a daddy?"

maple taffy: "oh my god you're stupid."

snowballs: "don't worry, drug tests aren't till next week."

shortbread cookies: "and who does this belong to?"

flan: "i'm not possessive... i'm obsessive."

peach cake: "if you spill a drop, we start all over."

angel food cake: "if he fucks with me again, i'm finishing inside of you."

red velvet cupcake: "if you don't like being called a whore, then stop acting like one."

mince pie: "i'm not jealous."

banana bread: "i'm going to fuck that sweet pussy of yours until the only word your little brain can form is my name."

crumb cake: "if you just listened, all of this could've been avoided."

chocolate chip cookies: "you're beautiful when you smile, but you're the prettiest when my cock is in your throat"

nanaimo bars: "who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it."

coffee cake: "knees. now."

sourdough bread: "i'm going to breed you."

blueberry muffins: "i don't think it'll fit."

pound cake with strawberries: "you know i hate going over rules, but just because i like seeing you embarrassed, i'll tell you them again."

croissant: "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me."

crepe: "pretty girl."

french toast: "you're trying to make me jealous!"

churros: "if you don't shut that little mouth of yours, i will stuff it full. okay?"

shortbread squares: "you're just mad that that my cock fits perfectly in you now. must be a blow to the ego that we're a perfect match."

savory pastry: "let your brother find out."

sweet pastry: "i'll make it all better."

eclairs: "the family's precious little girl. under me like a slut."

boston cream pie: "yeah, i'll use protection."

bagel: “gonna paint you with my teeth.”

crostata: “stupid slut, this is what you wanted huh? wanted me to fuck you like i hate you.”

tres leches: "i wonder if your brother know i cum in you."

peanut butter bars: “scratch me, bite me, just mark me sweetheart. show them I’m yours.”

eton mess: "be careful. your breath smells like cum."

scones: "but what if they see us!"

english muffin: "aw, is someone crying?"

honey cruller: "i forget how small you are sometimes."

banana split: "don't look at me like that."

beer brownies: "stick your tongue out anymore and you'll look like a dog."

fudge: "your father is pissing me off."

sticky toffee pudding: "the only way this is ending is you getting pregnant."

hot cross buns: "don't hide your face from me. i'd hate to have to tie you up."

brownies: "you're so much more agreeable when you have something to occupy that mouth of yours."

chocolate mousse: "the only necklace you need is my hand around your throat"

tim bits: "stupid little thing."

fruitcake: "i'll make tonight special."

cornmeal muffin: "i need you most."

devil's food cake: "you're my most unhealthy obsession."

crème caramel: "oh. you thought you were getting away from me?"

banana & chocolate muffins: "i'm only doing this because you need to learn how to behave, rules are rules, and you need to follow them."

custard tart: "i've never done this before."

cinnamon rolls: "no one needs to know."

mango sorbet: "you are by far the dumbest thing i've ever fucked. how did they even let you graduate?"

date squares: "you look better with my marks on you."

figgy duff: "if i buy it, will you stop pouting?"

spicy upside down cake: "let's play a game: don't get caught."

cream puffs: "let me finish inside."

profiteroles: "come away with me. for a week, together. anywhere you want, we'll go."

with a side of:

coffee: rivals

tea: semi-public/public sex

juice: cockwarming

mocha coffee: breeding kink

bubble tea: daddy kink

a vodka shot: rough sex

sparkling water: gentle sex

coconut water: alternate universe

energy drink: doggy style

champagne: sugar daddy situation

hard lemonade: possessive behaviour

espresso shot: dirty talking

a glass of wine: cowgirl position

ice capp coffee: werewolf au

bloody mary: vampire au

martini: mafia au

frozen latte: dumbification

frozen lemonade: consensual non-consent

cranberry juice: mean!character

glass of water: aftercare

chocolate milk: tenderness

milkshake: size kink

pina colada: pregnancy

cider: body worship

mai tai: loss of virginity

margarita: unprotected sex

mint julep: punishments

chai: biting/hickies

earl grey: big cock

fishbowl cocktail: protected sex

tonic water: age gap

matcha latte: collars/bondage

root beer: filming/recording

soda: jealousy

americano: oral sex

whisky: degrading language

vitamin water: dom/sub dynamic

irish coffee: high sex

sangria: drunk sex

dark roast coffee: sub!character

dark hot chocolate: sub!reader

iced tea: accidentally launching relationship

lemon water: university/college au

naked & famous: bimbo/ditzy!reader

on the house: author's choice!

ORDER UP!

[0ckish]

HAPPY PROSHOT RELEASE TO NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE!!! thanks to this musical i was able to discover starkid and the hatchetfield universe which i’m so in love with now, it´s been a while since i’ve been this enamored with a musical and i love all these characters (WHICH I STILL HAVE SOME MISSING !) anyways watch it it’s so good

[maxissupercool]

poly141 but it includes nikolai bc he literally is THEIR helo guy, walk with me now.

[hilacopter]

fuck it I made these when I was bored

[kairithemang0]

[rentumblsstuff]

[earthmoonz]

max/lena's camera roll | 💘valentine's day '24💘

[daiwild]

Yeah.

[littleindulgences]

mmm bookshopping date...

“You really have a…battle plan to shop, love?” Gaz asks, grinning in slight disbelief as he watches you pick through the Buy One, Get One 50% off tables. 

“Of course,” you reply. The guys watch you brighten and reach for one of the paperbacks, examine the back, then frown and put it back. You glance up at them with a shrug. “How else am I supposed to see everything? I’m covering my bases.” You readjust the tote on your shoulder. Your book-shopping bag, because apparently you had a designated one. 

You ignore the amused look Gaz shoots the others before he drags John into the shelves with a cheeky, “Good luck, sweetheart!” You wave them off absently. Simon huffs a laugh and rounds the table to peck your hair before he wanders away too. That leaves Johnny, rocking on his heels with his hands in his pockets, studying you as you methodically work your way through another table. 

“Stayin’ with me, Johnny?” you ask him. He shrugs. 

“Not sure what to look at. Plus…” He runs a hand through his mohawk. “Ah’m kinda curious ‘bout this plan of yours. How do you plan for a bookstore?”

You straighten to give Johnny your full, bright attention. “I can give you some recommendations! I’ve been thinking about a few you might like, actually. And as for the plan…” You shoot Johnny a smile that makes him shiver slightly. He doesn’t resist when you grab his wrist to pull him along, though, talking through your steps while the two of you browse. Well…while you browse. Johnny’s a little occupied watching you with nothing less than stars in his eyes. 

You walk him through a surprisingly clean plan: the front discount tables first, then the new release displays, then the discount tables in the back—and by the time you get back there you’re already three books up. 

“Now you look for the ones on the list,” you say brightly, pulling up your notes app. Johnny hooks his chin on your shoulder to read with you. It’s a lengthy list. 

“You’re gonna look for all these, bonnie?” Johnny gives a low whistle. 

“Of course not! I go with whichever feels right at the moment. Watch.”

Again, you drag your boyfriend through the shelves (if he’s being honest, Johnny really likes wandering through this store with you. It’s incredibly peaceful). You hop between genres like you were born in this place, now six books up, and chattering about the different titles you thought Johnny should try. 

“Hear me out, okay?” You hold out a slim paperback to him. It’s pale blue, with a cardinal and a bluejay on the cover. “Sci-fi-romance. This is so good, it made me cry. The main characters are on opposite sides of a time war, and they fall in love. It’s a beautiful story.” 

Johnny clicked his tongue. “I dunno, bonnie…” You pout at him, and he rolls his eyes, sticking the book under his arm with an exasperated grin. “Fine, fine! I’ll try it. Where next?”

* * * 

After you browse the entirety of the store, stare at the classics shelves for ten minutes, and go through the stationery, you reunite with the rest of your boys at the cafe. John, Kyle, and Simon are already there, each with a book or two, talking quietly when you and Johnny walk up. They stare at the heavy bag on your shoulder. 

“I tried to take it from ‘er,” Johnny sighs. “She threatened me.” 

“Good shopping, love?” John asks with a quirked brow. 

“Yep!” You sit next to him with a sigh and start removing your finds to sort through them. You mutter to yourself, rearranging the books into stacks according to a system only you’re privy to. Simon gently raps his knuckles on the table to get your attention.

“We can pay for some of these, bird. Don’t worry about the cost.” 

You give him a soft look. “I fucking love you, Simon, I hope you know that. But cost is only part of the sorting system!” You wink at him. “There’s the cost, yeah, but I also have to decide between risking new reads, collecting pretty copies of old ones, filling in series gaps…it’s a whole thing. I’ll end up putting half of these back most likely.” 

When you look back at them, all four of your boyfriends are staring at you. You flush. 

“You’ve really got this down to a science, huh?” Kyle chuckles.

“An art,” you correct with a grin. “An old friend of mine taught me.” 

John nods at Johnny. “What’d you find, Soap?” 

Johnny twitches next to you—he wasn’t fully paying attention. He holds up the book you pushed at him. “Somethin’ bon told me about. Gonna try it.” You beam at him. 

It takes a few more minutes of deliberation from you (you do try to put half the pile back, but the boys bully you into letting them buy most of it), the five of you are finally back in the truck and on the way home. You’re in the back between Johnny and Kyle, your new books at your feet and dozing against Kyle’s shoulder. Johnny discreetly snaps a picture of you. After a moment, he pulls out the book you recommended and starts to read, letting the quiet activity of the truck fall into the background. 

“When Red wins, she stands alone. Blood slicks her hair. She breathes out steam in the last night of this dying world.”

[miss-constelia]

Kyle hasn't learned his lesson, he keeps pissing off the captain of the team.

[zeke-the-nighthawk]

I’ve made more

[the-kipsabian]

The stars of AEW reveal one thing you didn’t know about them! 🤫