#maybe I'll change my mind in the upcoming days but. for now...yeah...........

[musical-chick-13]

I need to. Take a break. From this.

[hotpinkboots]

Hi!! Mind if I get relationship headcanons of scp 682 with an scp reader? I’d prefer if the reader was also quad (on all fours) and immortal, just so it’s not awkward. I’d also like if the reader and 682 have known eachother for centuries so they’re super inlove <333 and if you don’t mind, maybe some hcs of them having children? Lmk if you don’t want to, that’s totally fine! a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶t̶e̶d̶/̶i̶m̶p̶l̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶f̶f̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶’̶r̶e̶ ̶o̶k̶a̶y̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ 👀

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~𝕾𝕮𝕻-682 x SCP!Reader Headcanons~

HELP WHY AREN'T THERE ANY 682 GIFS

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GRGEHDEJXJCKDDGRRR YES THIS IS GLORIOUS

MY REACTION WHEN I SAW THIS REQUEST:

Note: Reader is shaped like alligator frog lizard too I think and if not then at least on all fours as asked, and are pretty much an evil power couple.

Note 2: There's a lil' bit of heated headcanons ofc 💅

Note 3: Some of the words are black to match 682's theme. I suggest turning on a lighter theme to read.

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝕾𝕮𝕻-682

★★★★

~YOU'RE THE ONLY LIFE FORM HE LIKES

~Like. he's stupid and in love with you and refuses to let anyone else see it.

~But the security cameras can see, unfortunately.

~Just pokes you in the side with his snoot to get your attention.

~He's a smug and coy bastard who likes to make dark jokes and tease you. He's rude, but in a "I love you but you're stupid but you're really not stupid and I just don't know how to express my love so I'm gonna call you stupid because I love you so you're stupid" way. like he's tsundere but he's not cruel toward you.

~Y'know he's constantly having people on his ass trying to kill him. He's always fine but you like to fuss over him and mutter about humans being scum 💜

~Would cause an absolute damned RIOT if they tried to find a way to kill YOU.

~Gets angry pretty easily, but sitting beside you and grumbling about whatever he's pissed about while you humor him makes him feel better.

~Gets annoyed if you tease him about how grumpy he is, but he ends up chuckling anyway.

~NOW WHEN THINGS GET ALL HEATED aka he's horny, he's a literal animal. I mean. More than he already is.

~Will definitely try to put on a show for you by showing off his ego and resting his muzzle on your head while he tries to seduce you with dirty talk, badically. How the hell is he so human for being such an animal? No one wants to know, honestly 🤡

~SORRY BUT BREEDING KINK. I know I'm like "oh yeah I don't do smut" SO THIS IS THE ONLY THING I'LL SAY.

~Def gonna give you some babies, and all the bitches working at the facility are trying to stop it because they CANNOT HANDLE ANOTHER LIZARD THING THAT LEGITIMATELY WON'T DIE

~Sucks to be them I guess because it happens anyway.

~Nudges them babies around to play around, like he does with you.

~He is violently protective of you and the little monster babies.

~Plans are made to separate you from each other and to kill the babies.

~Doesn't work. Nope. Absolutely not. Half the personnel people or whatever died that day.

~682 does seem to be a lot happier with you and some kiddos- It's a huge difference from how usually pissed he constantly is everyday of his life. He's still rude and annoyed, obviously, that'll never change. You and the babies are the only life forms he likes at all, and he's terribly in love with you c:

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⭐REBLOGS⭐>💀LIKES💀

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Rules/Masterlist (Scroll Down For The Masterlist)!

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Join my chat/roleplay server! Here, you'll be able to roleplay as your favorite characters/OC's, make new friends, and get updates on my fanfiction and upcoming videogames!:

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~Love, PinkBoots

[kasagiggles]

Hi Kasa/Syd!! I hope you're enjoying Fontaine as much as I do!! I'm super excited when I see Childe's appearance in Fontaine! He's my absolute favorite!! If you're available/not busy, I'll be super grateful if you would write a fic with lee childe! With Lyney & Freminet as the lers Probably the traveler asked Childe to help Lyney & Lynette doing the magic show, and during "practice", Childe got stuck in a props (leaving his torso exposed), and Lyney decided to tickle him alongside Freminet who's watching the practice And Lynette & Traveler just watching those brothers tickling the stuck Childe lol (please no foot tickles if possible), If the plot is too specific, feel free to change it. Have a nice dayyyy!! Your fics are truly heartwarming

CUTEEE OMG this is such a good idea !! enjoy <3

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ lee: childe

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ lers: lyney, freminet

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“haha… well.. to be honest, i didn’t think i would be doing such things during my trip to fontaine..” childe chuckled, scratching the back of his head as he read over the details on lyney and lynette’s upcoming magic show.

“i assure you, mr tartaglia, that these stunts are 100% safe to perform, we just need somebody to help us test it before we perform it live.” lyneys inviting and assuring voice was hard to turn down. he stood patiently as the harbinger thought to himself.

“there’s no point wasting our time if he doesn’t know what he wants to do himself, lyney. let’s find somebody else.” lynette suggested, in her usual cold tone.

before the twins could walk away, he stuttered;

“y-yknow what sure! i’ll help out! maybe it could benefit my combat skills in some way…” he muttered the last part under his breath, handing lyney the paper back eagerly. “when do you need me?”

several days had gone by, and today was the day childe had agreed to go in and help the twins by testing out their magic tricks, to childe, it was just something he wanted to get over with. it’s not like he had anything better to do, maybe he could learn something new.

“ah, you’re here!!” lyney cheered at the sight of him, rushing over to greet him properly. “it is my honour to have you here, tartaglia.”

“yeah, it’s no problem.” he said unenthusiastically, “what exactly will i be testing?” his eyes scanned the room, various objects laid around the stage.

“well, my main focus today is going to be that.” childe followed with his eyes as lyney pointed over to a prop in the middle of the stage, what seemed to be some sort of hanging tank, with three holes in the bottom. “there’s just a few things we need to verify, so please, if you don’t mind.” lyney softly guided childe over to the prop. “now, please do not fret, for we assure your safety. please place your head and hands into these holes.”

childe held back a yawn, allowing lyney to lock him in place. it was quite an embarrassing position, he felt defenseless, which was not pleasant. now he stood, with his head and hands both trapped.

“perfect!” lyney exclaimed, walking over to childe. “now please excuse me, i have to get a feel for the proportions of your body. is that alright?” the magician held out his hands, being sure that childe was okay with it beforehand.

“go ahead, do whatever you want to me.” he said, trying not to sound flat. lyney proceeded to grip onto childes hips, feeling around his torso. childe flinched, holding back a grunt.

“are you alright, mr tartaglia? did i hurt you?” lyney asked, which a hint of panic in his voice.

“ahh.. no, you’re fine… just tickled is all.” he continued to hold back giggles of anticipation.

“i see. i’m very sorry but, i must do this for the magic trick, i need to replicate your body to use as a fake..” he said quietly. “i’ll try and go quick! just hang in there!”

before childe could reply, lyneys hands made their way back to his torso, feeling around and gliding across his shirt. now that childe realized the predicament he was in, he felt as if he was suddenly unable to hold in his laughter.

“ha…hahahaha!!” he cackled as lyney guiltily felt his way around childes most ticklish areas. just as his hands reached his ribs, childe let out a not so manly screech.

“i-i’m sorry mr tartaglia, is it really that bad?!” lyney asked frantically, “ah! wait! i have an idea! to make it go by faster, freminet, come help me measure his proportions!”

“okay.. coming..” freminet mumbled, it was almost like lyney was trying to tease childe.

“how much longer is this- AH!” he shrieked again as freminet felt along his arms, now two pairs of hands were mercilessly tickling him all over.

“AHAHAHAH WHAHAT THE HEHELL!” he squirmed, clenching his fists that were inside of the tank.

“i’m sorry! i’m so so sorry, hang in there!” lyney encouraged him.

not being able to move made it tickle so much more. as embarrassing as it was, he couldn’t stop laughing at each gentle touch.

alas, after a minute or so of gentle tickly touches, it was over. childe remained in the tank, catching his breath as lyney jotted down some notes in his book.

“i’m very sorry mr tartaglia for the inconvenience, but your help was just what we needed to perfect this trick.” he headed over to unlock the rank, freeing the tired harbinger.

“ha… no problem.. am i good to go?” he asked, a light blush coated his face.

“of course, thank you and have a goodnight!” and lyney watched as the embarrassed ginger raced out of the room.

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[ashleighalba]

Jeremiah’s Selfish Summer: Me, Myself, and a Little Bit of Belly

*Jeremiah* In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to make this decision but I've never been so sure of anything. I know my mom has been through so much this past year and I would love to spend this summer with her but I have to do what's best for me. I know she’s getting sicker as the days go on and our time together is limited but she’ll never admit how much pain she is in and it kills me that her days are numbered. But I'll see her when summer is over and hey maybe I'll come back for the fourth with my dad so we can all spend time together just like the good old days. I don't know, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic but it just feels right. You saw the way they looked at each other the second she got out of the car you can't tell me it didn't mean anything… I will never stand a chance against him cmon it's Conrad Fisher for God's sake, the golden boy. I don’t think anyone will agree with my decision but this is the first summer I am finally going to put myself first. 

A few days later…

Jeremiah: Hey Mom do you have a second, I've had something on my mind that I wanted to talk to you about.

Susannah: Yeah what's up honey?

Jeremiah: I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I think I want to spend this summer in the city with Dad I know it's not ideal but I figured since I'm going to be a junior this upcoming year it would probably be best if I begin doing things to add to my resume this summer and maybe go to a few football camps to get a headstart.

Susannah: Oh honey, why would you want to waste your summer? Those things will be waiting for you when you get back. You've never cared about those things and moments like these we spend together as a family are so precious, none of it is guaranteed and could be ripped away from you in seconds. I know you have your mind set on this but please think about it, it could be the last summer we get to spend all together. 

Jeremiah:  I know Mom and as difficult it was to make this decision I have to do what is best for me. I'll miss you guys like crazy, but hey I'll see you for the fourth. I already talked it over with Dad and he said he's excited to have someone to keep him company while everyone else is away. I leave first thing tomorrow morning and I just wanted to give you a heads-up.

Susannah:  OK, keep me updated and if you change your mind let me know and I'll make the drive up to go get you right away.

Jeremiah: Thank you for understanding. I love you.

*Jeremiah* It kills me that I had to lie to my mom about something like this because I tell her everything she’s my best friend. But how am I supposed to tell her that I don’t want to spend all summer watching the girl that I thought I would marry and grow old with one day be so madly in love with my older brother? She was supposed to be my girl, she was supposed to be my future wife…

A month and a half later… 

*Jeremiah* This summer has been exactly what I needed. I hope they're all doing well at the beach house. I miss my family a lot but I met a nice girl and I think I’m gonna take her with me to the beach house for the Fourth of July. Her name is Lilly and my dad said it would be okay and it would be nice for her to meet Mom. Being we became official this last week I know it was quick but it’s been a while since I've met someone who gets me the way she does. It's refreshing. 

The Fourth of July… *Arriving at the beach house*

*Jeremiah* I'm excited for everyone to meet Lilly, especially my mom and Laurel gosh I've missed them a lot. This summer had been very refreshing and boy was it nice to not have to think about Belly and Conrad. Oh no, I forgot about Belly, I forgot about her feelings. How is she gonna feel about Lilly? Well, there's not much I can do now we're pulling in… Belly and I lock eyes almost instantly as I get out of the car Belly races towards me and jumps into my arms. I spin her around. Something about her being back in my arms just feels right.  I didn't think I would feel this way, especially since I’m with Lilly now. But there's just something about her beautiful smile, the way her hair frames her face so perfectly, my stomach fills with butterflies when she smiles at me there's just something about her I can't help it, Belly has and will always have a special place in my heart. Oh no, Lilly, I turned back around and helped Lilly out of the car, and as she stepped out of the car the smile on Belly’s face dropped and her face went blank. She asked who was this and I introduced her to everyone. Guys this is Lilly she came to spend the fourth with us this year. 

Belly: Oh that's nice of you to bring a friend. 

Jeremiah: No Belles she's my girlfriend.

Belly: GIRLFRIEND!?!?!

Steven: Nice bro now we can go on double dates with Shyla!

Lilly:  A double date sounds like a lot of fun, it's nice meeting you all Jerimiah has told me a lot about you guys.

Susannah: Here let me help you guys with your bags. Come on Lilly I’ll show you around and where you will be staying with Jerimiah.

Lilly: Sounds good thank you for showing me around, if you don't mind I'm gonna go find Jerimiah.

*Lilly hears Jerimiah and Belly in the living room and peeks around the corner*

Belly: Jere why would you bring her here you know this is supposed to be family only it's time we are supposed to spend all together before our last few weeks of summer, not for your little girlfriend.

Jeremiah: You don't get to do that. You don't get to act like you finally care about me and tell me what to do with my life. You've spent your whole life throwing yourself at Conrad any chance you got and I had to beg for your attention. And now all of a sudden you care about who I’m with and what I'm doing. I don’t wanna hear it.

Belly: What are you talking about? So that’s the reason you chose to leave all summer because of me and Conrad? We are nothing. 

Jeremiah: That's exactly why I left, is that what you wanted to hear? I left because I couldn't stand watching the love of my life throw herself at my older brother.

*Lilly enters the room*

Lilly: She's the love of your life?

Jeremiah: No Lilly it's not like that I didn't mean…

*Lilly takes off *

Belly: Jere I’m sorry 

Jeremiah: Just stop can’t you see you've done enough?

*Jeremiah chases after Lilly*

Jeremiah: Lilly please stop, let me explain.

Lilly: What is there to explain, you promised me you were over her.

Jeremiah: I know and for that, I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you. I thought I was but I guess I’m not. Please understand that my feelings for you are real but I do wish I would have told you about my feelings towards Belly these types of feelings don’t just go away you have to understand that.

Lilly: It's okay I know there's a lot of history between you… She did seem pretty hurt by us maybe you should go see what those feelings were about.

Jeremiah: Thank you for understanding, I hope we can still be friends. I genuinely do care about you.

Lilly: Go on go get her.

*Jeremiah runs off*

Jeremiah: Hey Mom, have you seen Belly anywhere?

Susannah: I think she went to the dock honey why what's up?

Jeremiah: Thanks, I'll explain later.

*Jeremiah sprints to the dock and sees Belly from afar, except there's someone else with her it’s Conrad…*

*Jeremiah* Of course she ran back to him as she always does. Why would I even try? In a perfect world, she would realize I’m the one who truly cares for her, who understands her in a way Conrad never will. But no, she keeps going back to him, like a moth to a flame, blinded by some illusion of love. What does she see in him anyway? He’ll never love her the way I love her. He doesn't know the depths of her soul as I do, the way her laughter dances like the sunlight on water or the way her eyes hold a universe of emotions. Yet she keeps choosing him time and time again, leaving me here to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart. But maybe one day she will realize, maybe one day she will see that I'm the one who truly loves her, the one who would do anything to make her happy. And maybe, just maybe, she’ll finally choose me over him. But when that day comes, and she finally waits, I’ll be gone because my heart can't handle any more hurt, and if she does choose me, who knows how long her love for me will last? I truly hope she finds everything she ever wanted in him. Please take care of her the way I never got the chance to. 

[taegularities]

Hey there! I will be honest, since after your hiatus, this blog has just been about the current/upcoming stories, which I definitely love 🤍 But something is missing, can't figure out what tho :( Not that interaction has not been along the personal lines too, but I think you too can admit something is there which is missing right? I see you posting about how ask games aren't boosting much around here, and it honestly makes me sad. That is another reason why I am always voting for your polls, sending asks from my different accounts heh. I guess this is also affected by how the connections on this app are breaking apart. I don't see mutuals or other blogs I follow reblog even the littlest thing or comment or be amused much anymore. This makes me want to leave this place too.

Sorry for the vent, this has just been on my mind these days. I'll probably send similar asks to other blogs so that people can god damit see it and if possible, bring k-pop writing blogs back to life.

hey love. i definitely agree that something has changed – idk if it's bc i went on hiatus (for my blog, at least) or if it just happened during that time in general, but a lot of writers and mutuals have been feeling discouraged. lots of them said things feel different now from how they were before. idk what it is either! like 2021, i'd have a lot more fun with ask games, and now i feel like people don't really enjoy them much anymore lol :') maybe we're just busy !!

i'm not complaining about interaction or anything, cos that's been amazing here and everyone's so so sweet. but things definitely feel emptier :/ i still try to queue stuff and support content creators, but even gifs and gfx have decreased, and yeah. i'm not sure if you meant there's something off about me, too, but if you feel that something is, then i'm sorry !! let me know. thank you for being honest 🥺

[goth-transmasc-demi-omni]

Warning: this is a very long post, and I'm sorry. If you wouldn't mind I do have a transmasc beard question here at the top I could use help with 😊

Question: How do you stimulate beard growth?

I know it just takes time and the proper dose of T, but also I've heard about using a comb/facial roller thing to...stimulate the follicles or whatver? Anybody have luck with stuff like that? Or any tips at all really? Maybe beard products for cis men to start the growth? I really want a beard 😫🥺

Ok! Update since it's been forever! I've been on T for two months now, and I'm so excited for all the upcoming changes!

The first thing I noticed was the anxiety going down SO MUCH! The confidence increase, the lack of anxiety, it was crazy! Suddenly walking alone in parking lots at night is not nerve-wracking 🤣 crazy right?!

Second thing: bottom growth. I might be on a low dose, so my bottom growth is slight but it's THERE and some days walking around feels REAL WEIRD cuz there's a THING down there that wasn't before and is super sensitive. But I'm so excited for it to keep going even though it was the one thing that was holding me back from going on T in the first place 🤣 I was like "ehhh yeah I don't really want that, I feel like I'd dislike it a lot," but now I pump several times a week to encourage growth 🤩 Should be every day but I'm lazy.

Hair stuff! I have always had some peach fuzz on my upper lip, more than what is considered "normal" so I've always shaved it to fit in (I'm asd and I masked HARD). Well I stopped shaving it, and it grew in nicely! About a week ago I noticed the growth is farther down closer to the corners of my mouth than it's ever been!!! I'm SO EXCITED!!!! 🤩😁🤩😁🤩😄🤩😁🤩😁🤩😄🤩😁🤩😄🤩

I'm very blond, so the "peach fuzz" mustache is basically white, BUT my brother's beard is red, and my mom's whole family is a bunch of redheads SO I could potentially have a red beard 🤩🤩 fun fact: my redhead uncles have super blond, basically white eyebrows! So maybeeeee the white mustache could be red once it gets longer!

I take after my dad in almost every aspect, so unfortunately I'll probably have a blond beard (if I grow one at all) but in that case I might dye it :3 I really like the red beard look. I'm also considering dying my hair red. It's all shaved on the sides, and long on top to braid, like a viking :D a red-haired viking is pretty neat imo. I have beard beads even, from back when I had dreads. (Don't start, i know white people shouldnt really have dreads, it's a weird issue. I made mine by locking a bunch of synthetic hair, locking my own hair, and attaching them properly with all the care and respect and everything but still. I felt weird as a white person with dreads so I stopped.)

Anyways beard beads are awesome and if I grow a beard I'm definitely putting some beard beads in 🤩

Transmasc enthusiasm!!!! We need more trans positivity out here, especially as the news gets darker and darker ☹️

Also fun fact: my dad is extremely anti-trans. Like straight-up thinks it's a mental disorder and that trans people should either get help or die. He doesn't know I'm trans, I just have to sit and listen to his rants when I'm home.

So I mean it when I say I need all the trans positivity I can get. Cuz thinking about if my parents ever found out still makes me cry. I love my parents so much and I have an amazing connection with them and I don't wanna lose that, but 100% would if I came out.

I fully plan on hiding even after my voice drops and I get top surgery. I'll train myself to speak higher around them, and I'll wear a stuffed bra when I'm home.

Anyways. Here's to you, the ones who can't come out, who might never fully come out, but still wanna live your life the way you were meant to: you are valid, and you are loved. I love you. Keep being your awesome self 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

[yunkiwii]

—i miss you even when you're here—

pairing: bf!seungmin x fem!reader

genre: angst, fluff, established relationship

wc: ~2.7k

warnings: feeling of abandonment, loneliness, stress, insecurities

⇢ requested by @leihey ♡ i hope this lives up to your expectations!

summary: for seven days y/n has been feeling lonely as her boyfriend spends all his time either at work or thinking about work.

You turn your alarm off without even looking at it, huffing before reaching your arm to the left side of the bed, and the way it lands straight out into the wrinkled sheets with a muffled sound confirms what you expected but still hoped wouldn't happen today - waking up alone.

For the past week Seungmin would get home late to a long asleep girlfriend at their shared bed, and a plate of cold food on the kitchen table. On the other hand, you would wake to an already empty bed and a faint memory of a forehead kiss, one you wondered if it were real or just a lucid dream.

For seven days you have spent your time either at work or alone at home, carefully thinking what meal would cheer up your boyfriend the most after a long stressful day at JYPE, missing the way he would always cut the onions because he knew you were more sensitive than him to the burning feeling in your eyes and would cry easily, missing how the kitchen always felt so small for the two of you to cook together, his hands constantly on your waist as a way to tell you to "scootch over", not wanting to interrupt his singing to tell you verbally.

For seven days you have been cooking alone, cooking for someone you didn't know would show up in time or not. And whenever he did - he didn't - being his presence merely physical, greeting kisses placed on your cheeks, lips and forehead in a mechanical way, a force of habit. For seven days your kitchen felt too big, too quiet and the onions made you cry more than usual.

At the eighth day you couldn't take it anymore, and when you heard the doorknob of your front door creaking, just as you were setting the table - for two -, you had to take three deep breaths, the words you had organized and planned out started to get mixed up in your brain, creating a mess you couldn't control anymore and so, as soon as you see Seungmin entering the kitchen you can only say three words, "I love you."

"I love you too, silly." he chuckles as his lips peck yours quickly, "Is that what you wanted to talk to me about so desperatly?", he waves his phone, referring to the text you sent him earlier. He didn't look annoyed at you for making him come home earlier than it was usual lately, but he still seemed off, and the bags under his eyes screamed "exhaustion" the same way the marks your tears left on your cheeks did too.

You watch him as he eats, unable to do so too yourself, the lump in your throat growing as you hear Seungmin's muffled voice thanking you for the meal with his mouth full and a light squeeze on your thigh. And you wondered if you were being unfair, if you were being selfish, because he was allowed to be stressed about his work, he was allowed to not be at his best all the time, and it wasn't his fault he had to stay until late at night at work. But it was his fault that he couldn't leave work when he got home, that he couldn't put his phone down and ask how your day was, to just take ten minutes of his day to just be with you, and you only. And you were allowed to miss him, miss his touch, miss the way he held you tightly at the end of the day while you watched the most random tv show together, because it wasn't the show that matter but each other's company.

And, without realizing it, you had already spilled all of this to him before the kitchen dropped dead silent again, and everything went blurry. You couldn't even see his face, not until his hands cupped your cheeks and his thumbs cleaned your tears as you mumbled quietly, "I'm sorry, I- I just miss you."

"But I'm right here (y/n)...", he pulls your chair closer until your knees touch, taking your hand in his while the other lifts your chin so your eyes meet, "Let's go on a date tomorrow, yeah? I'll get off earlier and pick you up. You'll wear that fancy outfit you've had in your wardrobe for ages, and I'll put on a nice suit and tie. What do you say?"

And in the eighth night you went to bed feeling a little warmer inside, his back turned to you didn't hurt as much now that your hand rested on his side and his shirt was worn by you. Knowing - hoping - that tomorrow will be better, you fall deep into dreamland as soon as you shut your eyes.

However, you couldn't help but to feel abandoned again when, hours later, a cold breeze hits your stomach and arms, making you mumble something in your sleep as you try to recover whatever was blocking that breeze before. One of your hands gets a grip of a soft fabric that seems too heavy to pull back down next to you, leaving your sleepy self whining for the owner of said fabric not to leave again.

"I will be back later, don't forget I'll pick you up for dinner. Go back to sleep now, (y/n)."

But how could you forget about dinner with him when, for the last eight days it was all you were longing for, and for the nineth day it was all you could think about?

Said day passed by slower than ever, an illusion caused by the clear anticipation you felt about the upcoming night. Anticipation addressed by your colleagues at work, who wondered what has sent your head into cloud 9 and your right leg into a fidgeting state, unable to stay still.

These same nervous actions continued at home, the funny feeling in your stomach resembling the very first date you had with Seungmin a few years ago, back when you were still a college student and he wasn't as busy as now. The same thoughts you had that day invading your restless mind again, "What if he doesn't like me (anymore)?", "What if he thinks I am (got) boring?", "What if my outfit doesn't fit?".

With that last thought you rush to your bedroom - but not without tripping on the first step of the staircase - to, in desperate clumsy movements, try out the said outfit you've been wanting to wear for so long, the one Seungmin got you for a "special date" months ago, one that never happened. But it did fit, it fitted better than ever and when you saw your reflection in the mirror even you fell in love with the person in front of you, the one doing little swirls with a stupid smile on her face, the person you doubted to be yourself. And, suddenly, you felt like everything would be alright, everything would go back to normal, maybe things would get even better than before, "there is no way he'll fall out of love for me when I look like this" was your first thought.

But he didn't even seem to notice your appearance, he didn't seem to notice you at all, he simply picked you up at the agreed time with a peck on your lips and one single rose in hand. All he did was drive you - in silence - to the fanciest restaurant in town, leave you alone at the table about three times to pick up the phone - "it's from work, I'm sorry" -, pay for both your meals and drive you back home.

And it took him to hear the quiet sobs you so hardly tried to keep in, while laying as far away as possible from him that you had to secure yourself from falling over the edge, to realize what he had been doing to you, to finally figure out how much he has been hurting you. And in that moment his sobs could be heard too. The realisation and guilt hit Seungmin like a truck and he couldn't move. He couldn't believe how he had let his stress and excessive work load affect you too. He couldn't believe he had reached a point to where he brought work home, one thing he had promised you he would never do. And his chest tights up a bit more when he realises you never got mad at him for breaking his promise, and breathing gets difficult when he faces you - your back.

"(Y/N)...", and your stomach drops five feet down at his cracked, low tone, and "I'm so sorry..." was all he could say before bursting into silent tears once more.

However, you were too hurt to face him, and the burn in your eyes increases when you feel the mattress sink behind you before a warm hand rests on your waist, but you don't push him away.

The nineth night was his the turning point, and Seungmin swore to your asleep self - and to himself - that the next morning would mark a new beginning.

And in the first morning you pretended to be asleep when his hand took a few strands of hair off your face, his lips barely touched your skin and his voice broke your heart, "see you later". And you held your breath until the bedroom door closed and stood still until the front door locked. But it took longer today, and in between these two moments you heard noise in the kitchen, and within a few minutes a nice smell made its way into your hiding place, as if it was trying to lure you to give in and face your boyfriend. But not even your grunting stomach stopped you from waiting to hear his car drive off to get up. And when you did, the curiosity took over you. He never cooks in the morning, and he never leaves this late. Something was changing after all.

Hence, in the first night, you shifted your body to face him when he quietly climbed in bed next to you, your left cheek pressed against your hands as a weak smile greeted the tired boy, "I appreciated the breakfast." Nevertheless, you didn't reach out to pinch his cheek the way you used to, though you had the urge to do so when his own lips drew a smile and his eyes got lost in his cheeks.

In the second morning you didn't pretend to be asleep and you didn't wait for the car to leave. In the second morning you sat at the kitchen table with Seungmin and, because he knew it would take you time to go back to him, he didn't force a conversation, he didn't force skinship, he merely held your hand and squeezed it lightly. And you knew he was trying, you knew he would try and wait until you were ready to trust him again, to give him your heart again.

Day by day you would slowly give him little pieces of you, by sharing the most small and insignificant stories of your day, by letting him hold your hand at night, by sharing earpods with him on the couch when you couldn't fall asleep, by letting him try and do all the things he shouldn't have stopped doing in the first place.

But it took you seven days and seven pieces to trust him with your heart again. Therefore, on the seventh day, as the the sunbeams peaked through the poorly closed shutters and reflected on Seungmin's bare shoulders, you couldn't help yourself from admiring him and, for the first time in seven days, you felt warm inside. The butterflies you used to feel the first times you woke up next to him were back, and were more annoying than ever.

You let yourself study all his features attentively, scanning all his perfect imperfections, letting yourself fall for him all over again - not that you think you ever fell out of love, but rather disconnected from it, and him.

He flinched and mumbled confused words, and you couldn't help but to smile and giggle softly at how silly your sleepy, drooling nonense-speaking boyfriend looked. This time, you gave in to the urge of pinching his cheek tenderly as to not wake him up, and you left your hand resting there as your thumb rubbed his soft skin.

As you were feeling your eyes becoming heavy again, your thumb stopped the movement and your hand slid down a bit. Your body relaxing more and more, until a ticklish feeling pulled you back to the "here and now", just to find Seungmin kissing the palm of your hand with his eyes still closed before pulling you closer to him, making you wince and giggle when his warm breath hit your ear and his raspy voice gave you his "good morning's".

He moved his body sloppily, hitting you with his elbow before comfortably positioning half of his body on top of yours, resting his head on the crook of your neck as he held you tightly by your waist, as if he were afraid you would run away.

"I missed you Seungmin, I missed you even when you were here." Your fingers got lost in his messy hair as you spoke, his grip on you grew tighter and you felt the tears peaking in the corner of your eyes. "You hurt me... and I thought about leaving you before you left me first."

For the first time you were letting him know how you truly felt, for the first time you were opening yourself up to him without any ounce of shame or fear. And this was your turning point. This was the moment you both knew you were back, ready to mend all the wrongs and the scattered pieces of your hearts that were left all around the house. "But everyone makes mistakes. And I know you have been trying, and-", Seungmin shifts his body once more, supporting himself with his hands as he is now hovering over you with his eyes locked in yours, a restless look in his face worried about what you would say next, and suddenly you feel shy, "What I mean to say is, I forgive you. I choose to stay and love you even if my mind won't let me believe that you love me back, I will trust you and your actions. So please don't let my mind trick me again, don't give it reasons to doubt your love for me unless you don't feel it anymore."

You pull his hair back waiting for a reaction, leaving your hand to rest behind his neck ready to pull him in for a kiss, the first real kiss in sixteen days. But you wait for what it feels to be an eternity, until he breaks the silence and mends the last piece of your heart when he reassures his love for you and vows to reassure you every single day until the rest of your lives.

And when you finally pull him in he loses balance and falls on top of you, his forehead hits your nose and just like that the house is filled up with laughter again, the onions don't make you cry anymore, the kitchen shrank and the fancy dates became late night movie marathons with you snuggled on Seungmin, or Seungmin snuggled on you, until you were far too tired to walk upstairs, leading to countless nights spent on the tiny couch and countless mornings with complaints about aching bodies but happy souls.

nets: @k-library @ficscafe @k-dinernet @districtninewriters

taglist: @dreamwrld @su-lix @bobateastay @leihey @serialee @hyunsluvv

⇢ let me know if you want to be added to the taglist ♡

[aestheticallyholland]

NEVER NOT | THE CONTRACT . . .

❃ PAIRING tom holland x fem!reader

❃ DISCLAIMER i do not own the artists (and the reader) that are going to portray the characters, but i do own some of the their names. the plot of the story is inspired to the book and movie 'to all the boys i've loved before' but with changes. the gifs and photos used in this series are edited by me but i get credits to the originals. also, this series is first posted in wattpad by me. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST IT SOMEWHERE ELSE !

❃ WORD COUNT 1.2k words

WANNA BE ON THE TAGLIST? feel free to comment on this post if you wanna be added to this series' taglist to get notified for updates !

NEVER NOT MASTERPOST | LEI'S LIBRARY

"Love is a free contract that begins with a spark and can end the same way." — Isabel Allende

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ANOTHER SCHOOL MORNING and Y/N suddenly jumped from her bed.

She didn't know why her heart was pounding so fast from her chest. She was planning to tell him when her classes are over.

He's the captain of the football team so she knew where he would be after classes.

After a long day of boring classes, the bell rang and she stood up and quickly went to her locker to place her things inside. After she closed her locker, she jumped at the sight of someone that she didn't see for the past few days.

"Aiden. You scared me." Y/N said with her hand on her chest.

"I'm sorry, it's cute when you get scared." He said and she glared at him. Her heart started beating fast like how she felt ever since she had feelings for him.

Here we go again.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

He scratched the back of his neck before talking. "I just wanted to ask if we can walk home together."

Her heart flutter but then she realized that she needed to see Tom since she will say yes to his deal.

He has a girlfriend, Y/N. Your freaking sister. Get over him.

"I-I'm sorry, Aiden. I have to meet someone after classes. I promised him." Y/N said and shut her mouth after she said 'him'.

"Him?" He asked with confusion in his voice. "Who is this guy-"

"I have to go now, Aiden! Talk to you soon!" Y/N quickly ran before he could even finish asking a question, leaving him dumbfounded. He just watched you run away from him with a confused mind.

Y/N turned to the door going outside where the football field is. You opened the door and the bright light hit her eyes and she squinted them.

As soon as she stepped outside, she went to look for Tom in the field for how many minutes. She went inside the field, fearing that the ball would hit her face and she would faint.

That would be so embarrassing.

She finally spotted Tom with a red helmet on his head. She stood there until he finally looked back and saw Y/N standing there. He smirked under his helmet and told his teammates to time out.

He walked towards Y/N and she lifted her head up when he was near him. He took his helmet off revealing his curly and messy hair.

"Hey, Y/N." He greeted her.

She sighed before she could answer and she felt her heart still beating fast.

You'll probably regret this, Y/N.

"Let's do this." Y/N blurted out and wanted to slap herself for some reason but she remained in front of him.

He grinned and looked away for a while before looking back at her. He suddenly pulled her from her waist and suddenly pressed his lips to hers.

Her eyes widen at the act and he pulled away while she was still dumbfounded. He just smiled, not caring that people saw what happened.

Y/N could feel her cheeks burning up and she realized that they were already starting the act.

"I-I'll wait by the tree," Y/N said awkwardly and walked away almost bumping into a bunch of football guys.

Tom still continued to smile before telling his teammates to resume the game.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"I still can't believe that you actually agreed to this," Tom said who was sitting in front of Y/N. They were in the same place as they were yesterday with the cherry blossom trees surrounding them.

"Me neither," Y/N answered. "And if we're going to do this, we have to make a contract between us."

"Why would we need that?" Tom asked and leaned back, making himself sit comfortably.

"To make this act successful and make sure we're on the same page," Y/N said as she took out a piece of paper and a pen from her bag.

"Rule number one, no kissing," Y/N said and Tom got confused.

"Didn't we just kiss a while ago?" Tom said.

"Not doing that again, Tom," Y/N said.

"How are we going to let people know that we're together? They're going to be suspicious if I don't touch you." Tom said. Y/N groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Y-you can put your hand on my back pocket," Y/N said.

He looked at her confusingly. "What the hell is that?"

"Sixteen Candles. It's a couple's thing." She answered.

"That sounds like from the 70s." He said.

"From the 80s, actually." She said.

"Alright, fine." He gave up.

"Alright! Rule number two, no secrets between each other. We can never tell anyone about this fake relationship. Or else we'll be dead." Y/N said as she scribbled down the paper.

"Of course, we can't. That would ruin the entire thing." Tom said. "I can go with that."

"What else do you have in mind?" Y/N asked him and looked into his eyes.

He thought of something else and came up with an idea that he never did with Camille.

"I can... I can write you notes. Every day." He said. Y/N just looked at him before answering.

Y/N could feel her heart flutter the moment he said that. "You do that?" Y/N asked him with a soft voice.

"Yeah, but never did that for Camille even though she wants me to," Tom said. "So if I start doing that to you, she will probably freak out."

She placed a hand on her chest and made a flattering expression. "How romantic of you."

"Also, you have to go with me when there are parties, as my plus one," Tom said. "There's an upcoming one this Saturday."

"I don't do parties, Holland," Y/N said.

"Come one. I have to give you notes every day." Tom said.

"Alright, fine," Y/N said and wrote it down on the paper.

"Also, lacrosse games," Tom added.

"And lacrosse games." She said and added it down to the paper.

"Rule number five and the important one. No falling in love, Holland." She said and Tom just chuckled.

"That won't be a problem, Y/L/N." He said.

"And, you have to walk me home. Meaning, every day until this is over." Y/N said.

"Almost all of these rules only came from yours," Tom said and it was Y/N who chuckled this time.

"And that's it!" She said, happily but Tom talked again.

"No, no. Add one more."

She looked at him with confusion. "What?"

"We have to go on a ski trip together," Tom said.

"But that's still a month away. Do you still think we could last a month without getting both of our asses beat up?" Y/N asked.

"If it still continues, then we have to go there," Tom said.

"Alright, deal," Y/N said and wrote it down as the last rule. She signed it since it was a contract and handed it to Tom. She held her hand and Tom chuckled and took and they shook their hands as a form of an agreement.

"Not regretting this, Y/L/N?" Tom asked and Y/N just smiled.

"Probably not, Holland." She answered.

Maybe.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

❃ TAGLIST @allthisfortommy @kait4073 @lovebittenbyevans @l0ve-0f-my-life @spiitfiires

[justanothergayemperor]

Before Following, please read topics discussed below:

This is a kin blog, all dedicated to this wonderful, villainous asshole.. Shao Kahn. All I say that may come of as off putting, please be reminded that I'm merely just trying to entertain myself and others for being able to kin Shao Kahn and anyone I want. Trigger warnings are present here whenever topics that are sensitive to others, Trigger warning for upcoming swears.

I'm a minor, so please don't come at me with your porn accounts and try to hit me on, or else I'll have to send an image of this bastard I'm kinning telling you to piss off and immediately block you.

I'm not an asshole, but I am aware that Shao Kahn is one. So whenever I try to be into character please know that I don't intent it to be my actual motive, but if I do end up becoming too much please don't be afraid to say so!

I can do what I want, so anything that isn't canon about what I think about how Shao Kahn would be, please just respect it. At least I don't try to push the narrative of it actually being canon, I can tell the difference of a headcanon and canon facts.

I can and will be creating Aus according to specifically change the way Shao is an absolute villain, he still is any shape and form but I like me a villain turning into at least of an anti-hero. Or just becoming chaotically neutral.

My mind is chaotically gayish in nature when it comes to ships, so please respect any weird and randomize ships I can come up with involving Shao Kahn. I mostly ship Raiden X Shao Kahn since their dynamic, for me and my created timeline, works for each other. I also like Kollector X Shao Kahn. Yeah I know, I'm weird..

I go by as all pronounces but I will prefer to stick with They/He. Another thing, I'm Demiromantic and Demisexual and also Pan. I'M A P A N

If you're an actual disgusting whore, support/is a part of maps or pedophilia, homophobic in any kind of shape and form, a FUCKING racist, and any of that nature.. PLEASE. FUCK. OFF!!! this is a safe blog for people who just want to chill, be homo, be safe from predators and be supportive of each other. I don't want any of that FREAKISH NATURE coming out from my feed, eyes, souls or even in my follower sections. I'll be fucking watching.

Any kins of any fandoms that I'm in or just anything in general, as long as it's safe and it doesn't cross boundaries, you can chill on my blog. Hell! Even interact with it, do whatever! Just don't come off as offending In a way that makes people uncomfortable and I'll chill.

I'll tag anything that involves posts that are "in character". Also a little summary of my timelines and dips of lovely lore, 1. in my AU Shao Kahn is NOT an emperor anymore. He still owns his fortress though but doesn't rule anymore. 2. Shao Kahn and Raiden were and still are together for 19 years, how?? Hell if I want to tell ya I can, but I don't want to for that sweet juicy lore. 3. Shao and Kitana doesn't have a stable relationship with each other, yet. They can make up but for now they're too stupid to even try and get along despite wanting to. Something they have in common a lot. 4. Shao Kahn is.. still an asshole, but not as bad as he was before, he's just Like your friendly neighborhood asshole who'll ruin your day just for entertainment and giggles. Nothing too harmless unlike before. 5. Shao will still fucking adopt kids, create them or something I DON'T KNOW! but fucking hell, he loves kids. Some of them just reminds him of his lovingly vicious Mileena and loves them all dearly and equally unlike before "retiring". The guys just wants more kids 6. Kotal Kahn and Shao Kahn.. well they have a complicated friendship, they can be trying to ruin each other's days every single moment, or they could be having the most beautiful brother bonding relationship. And act like utter kids when the other disagrees to do what the other wants.... Okay maybe that's too long for a summary...

Might update this if necessary or if points that I planned on discussing isn't discussed, otherwise I still stand on my points. I'll see you In my kin posts ;-P.

—JustanothegayEmperor

[hannaswritingblog]

Blog update! (since I feel like I owe you one) - as of 15/02/22 (late evening/early night)

If you prefer to have it short, here you go:

I promised to write more during my university break and didn't do that. I'm very, very sorry, especially to the people who requested fics recently. You could be hearing this a lot and I didn't want to be another person to say this, but I've been going through things recently and on top of everything I'm currently sick. But! today I managed to work on some things and I will most likely be able to post at least (some of) the requests over the next couple of days.

I also plan to keep requests for ficlets and oneshots open for a longer while + I hope to update my fandoms soon (maybe even this week), but I'll make another update about this, especially since this is mainly a heads-up about the upcoming posts.

If you don't mind going through my rant, see below the cut:

Hey! I'm happy to see you in a rant part of this post.

I went on a break at university over two weeks ago and as I announced in this update, I hoped to write more during this time. Yeah, you guessed it - I didn't write more. As a matter of fact, maybe I wrote less in the last two weeks than I did in some periods before my break, even with university work. It's not that I wasn't doing anything with my life, it just happened not to be writing.

One thing that kept me from writing definitely was struggling with that one uni thing that stayed with me after the semester ended, which is my thesis. At first I was paralyzed with the idea of even starting it (which I've been struggling with since October) and then I stressed over changing the subject of the thesis around 4 months before I'm supposed to have it finished. I'm a bit more calm about this now since my new subject got approved and it's something that feels much better in terms of academic writings, so even though I took some time from myself, I'm more optimistic about the case now.

Another thing is that, as I already mentioned, I'm currently sick and unfortunately, it’s now confirmed that I have covid. Ironically, the info helped me to let go of some stress. I'm the last person in my immediate family (people I live with or meet frequently) to display symptoms and then test positive, so we kind of expected I'd contract it too. We're the (un)lucky ones who made a choice to get vaccinated and got sick anyway, but I seem to have the worst symptoms and it's not worse than bad cases of flu I went through as a child/teenager. It's definitely a huge relief to see everyone else is doing better now and that we avoided the worst (whether you believe it's thanks to the vaccination or not is up to you, I mean it, but for me it's comforting to think that I did everything in my power to protect myself and my loved ones and that maybe it paid off one way or another). It's also good for me that I'm sick now and it didn't start, like, next Saturday, because hopefully I'll be well by the weekend and I'll be able to attend the first classes of the new semester next week.

With all of that said, despite my sickness things are starting to look up. I am finally getting the requests ready and I hope to have them posted this week, maybe even all of them. I'm not sure how the ficlet will go since, as I've been stressing it, it takes longer to finish those and I haven't properly started yet, but maybe it'll end up well.

As I mentioned, I might make another update later this week about the requests being open and changes in fandoms, but we'll get to it later. :) Thank you for reading, and stay safe!

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck pt 10

♡ Part one| Previous

You couldn't believe it, that not even a month could go by without having to worry about Mark. You woke up several hours after you got that text, and couldn't help the way your heart sinked, you had to get up and shower with the coldest water to be ready for the upcoming long day, calling said unknown number to ask for an explanation.

“Who's this?” ask back as you make your way to the door.

“Y/N? It's Jisung! Do you not have my number saved?”

“Jisung, it doesn't matter right now!” although you knew that it would be a big complain from him later “What happened to Mark?”

“He's alright now... Do you want us to pick you up so you can see him?”

“Well, yes, that's why I called, but what happened?”

“Wait, I'll tell Jeno and Jaemin to pick you up, they must be close to your place now” and he hung up, avoiding the question you made him.

You sat on the sidewalk, waiting for the car to arrive, writing a text for your mom apologizing for leaving suddenly and so early. The streets were barely lighted by the daylight, but when you saw the car lights shining in your way, you knew immediately who it was, you stood up quickly and walked in their way, Jeno rolled the passenger window down and both him and Jaemin smiled sweetly at you, you almost forgot where you were going, and jumped in the back seat. The ride to the hospital was full of laughs, you even stopped in a convenience store to buy coffee and snacks because none of you have had breakfast. Jaemin parked and the tension in the air made its way back to the moment, suddenly feeling too awkward and guilty to hold hands with Jaemin when he started brushing his fingers on your palm while you three walked to the hospital.

You've never stepped in a hospital before, when you were younger you were over protected, you never got [physically] hurted, nor did you go with your parents when someone did have an emergency, and everything overwhelming; families waiting for news of their loved ones, people who looked in pain, doctors and nurses who probably went home crying from too many emotions at their work place, you couldn't even imagine how Mark would look laying in those uncomfortable beds.

“Mark Lee” Jaemin says walking to a lady in a counter

“Are you his family?” she says in a monotone way, not even turning to look at him “only his family is allowed to see him”

“His family doesn't leave here, I'm his roommate”

The lady types Mark's name, not questioning anymore, probably feeling compassion over that young boy being alone all night , having no one else for him than his friends, who had been annoying her since she started her shift. She tells him he's not taking visits, but he's gonna be allowed out in a couple hours.

Jaemin makes his way back to you and Jeno, both unsure of asking, he just sits in the waiting chairs, his body too tired, not from today, rather than everything becoming too much.

“I'm going out for a smoke, do you want to come?” his friend asks, noticeably stressed with the hospital environment, Jaemin looks at you and shakes his head, Jeno palms his back and rushes out.

“You should go, I can wait here” Jaemin can't help the grin forming in his face when he hears your voice, he thinks it's adorable how not even in a time like this he can't be unhappy if you're there.

“No, he's just-” he realizes he's spilling too much “he doesn't like hospitals”

“I mean, who does?” you sit next to him, placing your hand on his thigh “are you okay?”

Jaemin thinks of opening up, he trusts you and he knows you'd understand his emotions better than him anyway, he wonders if it's easier to lie and say he's alright, but tired, and eventually decides that whatever he says is useless anyway.

“Aw fuck, did you tell your parents you were coming?”

“I left a note, I told them Mark had an emergency and to call me when they read it”

“I shouldn't have brought you here, I shouldn't have brought you yesterday, I just keep dragging you into this mess, I'm sorry Y/N” he hadn't even realized himself how guilty he had been feeling, for the longest time, none of it was him, but he made it him anyway, he'd never been violent, neither did he enjoy the things he did, he just did them anyway, but after a couple years of losing himself, he forgot that too, and having someone that cared for him as much as you did, he felt guilty over making you a part of his life, over stealing Mark's chance, your chance to leave him and leave the whole thing, he never meant it, he'd never do that to you “I'll take you back, Jeno can wait here and-”

“You never even told me what happened” you cut him off and he wonders if you were able to listen to the rant on his head “no one has told me what happened and I hate making up scenarios of this, just tell me what happened, I'm gonna find out anyway” your voice was full of anger and fear, but you couldn't handle it any longer, you hated that feeling of being kept from the whole thing, it made you feel like they didn't trust you at all.

“He, uh, a lot happened, actually” he takes a deep breath as he dives in deeper waters of guilt “you saw him last night, we kinda got into an argument before you left, he's not himself when he's drunk, he's a good guy, you know, but, he got a little bit out of his mind, he had been drinking, he had been smoking with Jeno prior to that, and when we left he tried to leave too, he crashed, but that's not why he's here, he, uh, got up, too numbed to realize that he hurted his ankle and got some lines of coke, too many, actually, he got overdosed and they took him here” Jaemin didn't notice the moment tears started rolling down his cheeks, it was guilt that was swallowing him alive, thinking of how he was the root of every single problem they were having “I didn't know that, I didn't know he was doing all that in a single day, I didn't know he'd try to follow us, I would've taken his keys, I would've said sorry, I shouldn't have taken you there, I shouldn't even be talking to you right now”

And you can't help but cry when he does, knowing how emotional and empathetic Jaemin could actually be, knowing how he tends to take credit for everything that goes wrong, hell, he probably blames himself for climate change, and knowing how sorry and scared he must have been feeling.

“Jaemin, it's not your fault. Mark makes hus own choices, maybe all of them are bad, but those are his” you swipe away the tears off his face with your thumbs “you didn't force him to do any of that, and I know you mean so much more to each other than you say, but you can't keep taking everything he does just because he's broken or whatever you're telling yourself” but you noticed mid-sentence that this was something you needed to tell yourself too “I'm sure he's grateful for you, but you can't keep fixing his mess every single time”

He feels like a weight has been lifted off him, knowing that you can see him for him, you can see how he cares for Mark, and understands what you mean, but it doesn't feel right at all.

“Yeah, i know that” he sits straight again, he looks like he never had that breakdown “Anyway, he's alright now, somehow, do you want me to buy you some coffee?”

You spot Jeno coming back, probably just because it was cold outside. “No, but I could use a walk, the environment is weird here”

You stand up as Jeno makes his way to the chair next to Jaemin.

“Can you take a shift waiting? She's feeling sick and we're taking a break” Jaemin asks his best friend “or you can come, he's probably taking hours to be free, he can wait anyway”

Jeno shakes his head, assuring Jaemin that he'd rather be inside, and that Mark could get kicked out any minute if he was awake.

There's not much to see in the surroundings of a hospital, nor in the parking lot, but the pain of all those people, mixed with Jaemin's and your own was getting overbearing. Jaemin takes a cigarette in his mouth and skillfully lights it real quick, you try to remember if you've ever seen him smoking, but you couldn't remember, nor could you remember his car of his clothes smelling like he did. He's quick to finish it, taking big puffs and barely taking it away from his mouth. He noticed you were staring at him.

“Do you want one?” he forgot his whole lecture on why he was guilty over dragging you into his life and suddenly he remembered as he was sure you were about to say yes “please don't say yes, I didn't mean to offer you one, actually” but he takes out another one, places it on his mouth and lights it, too quickly.

You couldn't help it but remember Mark, because the truth was that anyone who met Mark, would never be able to leave without thinking about him, he was too special to forget. Yes, Jaemin was the sweetest person on Earth, and granted, you'd choose him any day over any other person, and that's why your heart sunk when you remembered what the days hiding in abandoned place with Mark were like, full of uncertainty, but exciting anyway, how his strong leather and tobacco scent would pierce into your nose for the whole day, how he'd make you feel when his fingers ran through your thighs. You loved Mark, you've loved him for a while now, but now you loved him in a different way, you told yourself. There was no use in comparing the two of them since they were absolutely opposite to each other, but you'd love to forget what you felt for Mark anyway.

You take Jaemin's hand on your own, stealing a puff of his almost finished cigar, blowing the smoke directly to his face and smile fondly when he laughs it off. Something about Jaemin always felt right. He throws the rest of it, not risking a burnt when as he rounds your back with his big arms. He could swear he sees a whole galaxy in your eyes, the way they shine is absolutely stunning and it makes him feel warm and fulfilled. He gets closer for a kiss, a sweet kiss, but with the taste of tobacco in his mouth, it becomes easy to forget where you are. You can feel someone walking in your direction as you get away from each other. Jeno and Mark are walking slowly to the car, you remember how Jaemin said he hurt his ankle and giggle at Jeno smiling at Mark's struggle. Both you and Jaemin walk to them, but Mark doesn't care at all, you expected him to be less of an ass by then, and he expected it too, knowing well how much everyone cared for him, but too bitter seeing Jaemin with you, convinced that it should be him who's kissing you and taking you out every Friday night.

Jaemin drives you all to Mark's place, you've never been there, and you don't want to be there either way, so you wait in the car while they make sure Mark can survive a couple hours alone, he can't help but feel defeated, owing his literal life to Jaemin but still pretty annoyed about his new relation. Jeno decides to stay with Mark, promising he'll call someone to take a shift later, and now Jaemin has a some more time alone with you.

Your mom was worried after she read that note, following your instructions and calling you as soon as she saw it.

“He's alright mom, he hurted his ankle, that's it”

“Are you sure? We can bring him something and pay him a visit”

“I think he is tired, besides, I want to spend some time with Jaemin, can I come home later?”

She agrees, too enchanted when Jaemin was mentioned, and diving more into the idea of you setting down with him. Boys were never a priority to you, and somehow it made her happy you were with him. You had already hung up when Jaemin came back to the car, not sure if he should ask you out on a spontaneous date or wait until you suggested it.

“Are you busy, like, right now?” you ask before he can decide on what to do

“Not really, why?”

“I don't know, I wanted to go out, but now I'm thinking I'm more in the mood for a movie at home”

“Do you want me to take you home?” you laughed at how naive he could be sometimes

“I want to go to your place” you confess “well if you don't mind it, maybe we could go to my room and cuddle there”

Jaemin thought of the scene: his mom would definitely be surprised, he couldn't remember if his room was clean, but he sure wanted his mom to meet you, he wanted to have dinner together, he wanted to show you the cool stuff gathered in his room. “Well, we can go to my place”

Next

__________________________________________

A.N: i will never say sorry enough times because i can't help but take too long to update this,,,, anyway, thank you so much for reading this, i hope you're having a nice day/night, some people are still in quarantine and it can be messy to our heads, remember to take care of yourselves, much love! ♡

[spidernerdsblog]

I forgot that you existed : Chapter one

A/N: okay chapter one is here going a little slow with the storyline wanted to add a little bit of details to the lives of the characters. I can guarantee in next chapter our hero will be in full form and not just in flashbacks. Hope you like it. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

 Summary: It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realise you are still not done with each other.

 Warnings: none, flashbacks.

 Mini playlist: love story, ME! By Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes, and the flashback starts

I'm standing there

On a balcony in summer air

 Sounds of giggles and laughter " No! she is my best friend" Harrison exclaimed pulling you by grabbing your left hand towards him "No she is my best friend!" Tom said, pulling your right hand. You couldn't stop giggling as you were stuck between a tug of war between your two best friends who stated that you can only be best friend to any one of them not both. You were only 5 years old then Tom & Harrison both 3 years older than you but you loved hanging out with them.

Your parents shifted from LA to London for their work and coincidentally your house was in the same neighborhood as were of the boys. You all became friends through your mothers when they used to take you to the park when you were toddlers. You were the only girl of the whole boys gang consisting of Tom, Harrison, Harry and Sam and they were very protective about you. You used to boss them around.

 As Haz and Tom were quarrelling over whose best friend you were in the backyard of the Holland's house. Tom out of nowhere declared "if it's that so Y/N is my girlfriend" and gave a gentle peck on your lips, you stood there in shock and soon you started blushing as you covered your face with your hands and ran inside to your mother who was chatting with Nikki.

 You went up to your mom and asked innocently "Mom, Tom said that I'm his girlfriend and gave me a kissy like you give me every night before bed. Is he no more my best friend ?" Both the mothers started laughing as Nikki spoke  “no peanut he will always be your best friend and if you love bugs stay like this forever maybe he can be your husband too."

 You scrunched your face and said "eww!! I will not marry him"

 “why is that so? " your mother asked laughing

 "he always steals my chocolates" you said innocently “no I don't!! Tom said from behind as he entered the house with Haz, “yes you did yesterday only you took it from my bag at school” both of you now started arguing. Nikki and your mom burst into laughter after hearing it. That was the beginning of your love story.

 Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story baby just say "Yes"

 .........................................................

You loved to listen to songs as it helps to release your stress and this song of yours was very dear to you as it reminded you of some sweet memories. You were scrolling through the photographs that you had taken back when you were living in London together with the boys as you thought about that whole incident, your actual first kiss, you smiled and shook your head at the realization that you both had disappointed your mothers.

 You finally dialled Harrison's number he picked up instantly

 "Hey Y/N!"

 "Hello.. this is 911 what is your emergency?" You chuckled

 "You will never change will ya?"

 "That was the plan actually to never change"

 "Talking to you after a long time man missed your voice so much"

 "Me too Haz.. So how's everything going there?"

 "Yeah everything is fine here just wrapped up my new film."

 "Great!! How are the boys, Nikki and Dom?"

 "They are all fine. Harry is busy with his new film's plot, Sam as usual experimenting with new dishes."

 "An.. and how's he?" You hesitatedly asked

 "He's good too wrapped up Avengers 5 will be returning home tomorrow.

By the way congratulations for the success of your new album to be honest it's a badass album the lyrics are dope."

 You giggled.. "Thanks Haz"

 "So now are you free or still have any upcoming projects?"

 "I can never be free Haz I m always working, always thinking of lyrics for my next song. Leave all that, what was the emergency that you said to call so urgently?"

 "Ummm.. Y/N I want something from you."

"Anything for you Haz"

 "You have to promise me first Y/N that whatever I say you have to say yes"

 "When have I ever said you no anyways just tell me"

 "No! Y/N first promise me"

 "Uggh Okay Haz I promise now spit it out. Sometimes you really act childish." you rolled your eyes.

"I want you to come back home I mean back here at London I have planned a 10 days trip to Cornwall at my beach house which we all used to go every summer when we were kids it's a sort of reunion for the whole gang I have invited Z and Jacob too"

 "Haz you know I only go on Christmas every year to spend time with you guys because that is when I m free. And I'm pretty busy this month. I have a recording to be done next week for my upcoming single."

 "Y/N you promised you will not refuse me. I just want a little time from your busy life.”

 "But Haz…"

 "And also I'm gonna celebrate my 30th birthday there, your man is getting old love."

 "Umm... I don't know what to say Haz I'm confused"

 "If you're thinking about him I can assure you there will be no problem besides he is not single anymore so why worry?"

 That is the problem Haz you said in your mind.

 "Umm okay I'll give it a thought and let you know after confirming the availability of dates." You ended the call and fell back on your bed, your hands and legs spreading across the bed  like a starfish. You face palmed and groaned.

 You went into a deep thought, your brain still processing the whole conversation you had with Harrison. After a few minutes you heard your phone buzzing and you smiled as you looked to see who was calling. It was Zendaya, face timing you. You had seriously wished to talk to someone right now. You have very few close friends in the industry and Zendaya was one of them. You collaborated with her for your bad blood music video and you guys clicked instantly from that day you became really close. She was your 3am BFF and you both knew each other's darkest secrets. You picked up the call.

 "So Haz called you up didn't he?"

 "Bingo!! So what are you thinking?" Zendaya laughed

 "I don't know Z. I just feel scared. I know I have met him a couple of times during my Christmas visits after everything happened  but that was just a one day thing and this whole 10 day trip is freaking me out. I also don't want to disappoint Haz. I missed all of his birthdays for the past few years on purpose just to avoid Tom."

 " You are just over thinking babe everything will be fine and I will be there to cheer up your emotional ass. Besides as much as I know Tom is very chilled out he will not bother you."

 " I don't think so. He has a very cold attitude towards me even now whenever I go back home. "

 After you moved to NY you almost begged your parents to move here and stay with you but they were adamant of staying in London so once in a year you used to visit your family and friends during Christmas. The Christmas Dinner was always hosted by the Holland's after your break up you always panicked to go to their house. The first year when you went. The boys, Nikki, Dom welcomed you as if nothing had happened; they hugged you with joy. But when you went to give Tom a hug he just backed off and out of formality gave you a shoulder hug and you got your hint to stay away. He even brought his new girlfriend for the dinner which you thought he did on purpose to make you jealous or hurt you. And you were actually hurt at the thought that he really moved on so quickly. So you avoided family gatherings to prevent such awkward situations.

  "Babe your life doesn’t revolve around Tom he was a part of your life which is over. Start living your life. And we are in our early 30’s and still single don’t wanna die like that do you ??. Even if you want you can have your sweet little revenge by showing off that hot body on the beach and show that asshole what he missed." Z smirked.

 You quirked your eyebrows “So you're telling me to be a bitchy ex who doesn’t want to see her ex boyfriend happy”

 " Nooo!!! I didn’t mean that just show him how happy you are, that you are one of a kind, he will never find anyone like you in his life. We are gonna have a blast honey and you are coming so start packing."

 You had to finally give in with a deep sigh you said .."okay Z I ll go but if I jump off the cliff after all the mental stress I'm going to get in those 10 days you and Haz will be responsible for it." you laughed.

"Oh we won't want that. Besides you have handled more stressful moments than this you will be fine dramaqueen." Zendaya said.

 You talked to Alex about the whole trip to sort out the dates. He was a little sceptical at first about the whole reunion with ex trip , but he believed in you and gave you a nod for the trip. You informed the good news to Haz of your approval to the whole trip. Before you could leave for your unplanned vacation you had to finish recording and shooting for your new upcoming single featuring Breidon Urie.

 "I promise that you'll never find another like me

I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh

I know I never think before I jump

And you're the kind of guy the ladies want

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

I know that I went psycho on the phone

I never leave well enough alone

And trouble's gonna follow where I go

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

But one of these things is not like the others

Like a rainbow with all of the colors

Baby doll, when it comes to a lover

I promise that you'll never find another like

Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm the only one of me

Baby, that's the fun of me

Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You're the only one of you

Baby, that's the fun of you

And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e"..............

 The song was soon officially released by the music company and the audience loved it and your work was done for the moment and now you could focus on the trip. All of a sudden you were really feeling excited about the whole thing. You and Z were constantly texting each other to plan about the journey.

 The day arrived and you met Z at the airport. "So ready for the battle?" she chuckled. You rolled your eyes and laughed "going on a battle would have been much easier compared to this I guess" but in your mind you were confident. Yes you had finally decided that you're ready to face Tom Holland to show him that you have also moved on. And to show him that he'll never find another like you.

 The nine hour flight was uneventful as both you and Z slept most of the time which proved that you both were in dire need of a vacation away from your hectic glamorous lives.

 It was around 5 ‘o’ clock in the morning in London when your plane landed. Both of you collected your check in luggages. Check out was hassle free as it was early morning with few people around and nobody recognised you as both of you were in your hoodies. As you came out of the exit door you started to look amongst the crowd and finally you saw those familiar icy blue eyes approaching towards you.

 “Ah!! Finally the star arrived” Harrison hugged you tight

“And all credit goes to you Z because our star has stopped listening to her best friend may be got someone else to replace me” he hugged zendaya and started laughing

“getting rid of you has been one of the failures of my life" you pouted

 "Ouch!" Harrison dramatically placed his hands on his chest as if hurt.

 "No one can ever replace you from my life you idiot" you lightly punched his arm.

 Harrison chuckled and said with a fake French accent "I m your chauffeur for the day, madame your car awaits at the parking lot."

 After you three put all your luggages in the car. Z and you sat at the back seat and Harrison sat on the driver's seat as he started the car. It was an approximate four hour ride to his beach house.

 " You know Haz I really missed the summer in London so glad I said yes to your plan."

 "The only thing I liked about London when I came for Spiderman:FFH shoot is the Harry Potter museum" Zendaya declared

 You noticed Harrison looked a little off today so you asked "you look a little bit stressed out Haz what's the matter bud?"

 "How do you read my mind so easily?" Harrison sighed.

 "I'm your best friend dumbo now tell me what is the thing that is bothering you so much?" you said with concern in your voice.

 "Okay I need to say you something, just don't be mad Tom will be bringing his fiancee too at the beach house. But don't worry everything will be fine I promise."

 Your face went expression less as you looked at Harrison then to Zendaya. You were starting to panic from inside. You let out a sigh and rolled your eyes as you leaned on Zendaya's shoulder. She rubbed your shoulder to comfort you as you thought in your mind "what a great start to this cursed trip."

..................................................................................

Taglists:If you want to be added send in an ask i will be happy to add you.

@sophs-library

[unloved-cadillac]

Firstly to start off with, ummm a white kurtan, yes please, I know this bitch looks good whatever hes wearing, so it dont matter, BUT THE BLACK TANK TOP OOFFFF YOU BETTER STOP, ITS NOT GOOD FOR MY HEALTH. But moving on, I've finished reading the whole thing now, and I'm writing this in notes, so if you're getting thing like 40 minutes later it's because I'm drafting my ask. Basically I'm just gonna skim read it again and just give you my thoughts and any feedback, if that's okay with you, you can ignore this if you want to, I completely understand. I dont mind at all 😊😊

Ok to start off with, the exposition was really good, you've set the tone and introduced the Ackerman family really beautifully. When I read it initially the fact that Levi did not want a family or to get married was quite emphasised upon to me, and I'm really looking forward for the inevitable development and how his view changes as the chapters go on. I also love how you introduced Farlan and Isabel, and lightly touched upon how they met, you didnt go into too much detail and I really like that, it kept me focused on the actual story itself, which is about Levi and not Farlan. And Farlan wanting tto marry her 😢😢. I think it's really really sweet and I cant wait to see more of them. I love it so much.

The transition from setting the scene to their father being poisoned was not something I was expecting and made me go oh shit he dead. Part of me felt like it was moving too quick, but the other part of me loved the shock factor of it since it happened so suddenly. I didnt think of it as too big of an issue though, it was still enjoyable to read.

The whole encounter with the peasant guy made me wonder just how many more people there are like him, that dislike the Ackermans and would try to kill them. And whether y/n would be one of them. Also I got a bit confused as to who was speaking whether it was Farlan or Levi, but I read the sentence again and it was fine, I understood, so maybe I was just being a dumb bitch.

Oooh a quick point Levi sympathising with the criminal was really touching and made me feel warm and gooey. It shows that hes not a dick and does actually care about his people. But it also shows he has clear boundaries and is really firm. He will make a great leader in the future.

YESSS BODYGUARD ERWINNN!!!!! I WAS LITERALLY TELLING MY FRIEND THE OTHER DAY, ERWIN AND LEVI BODYGUARD AU IS THE BESTT. YES SWEETIE UGH ITS FANTASTIC. IVE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT IM SAYING IT AGAIN I LOVE IT.

Carrying on, I love the whole Erwin/Levi/Farlan interaction, of course Erwin knows everything, why wouldnt he, hes a boss ass bitch. Also again, reaffirming that Levi does not want a wife, nOicE. Really builds up his future development.

The difference in Levi's and Farlan's reaction is comical. Ones there waving and smiling and the other ones there like fuck off leave me alone. ALSO WHOEVER SAID THEY'LL GIVE UP THEIR VIRGINTY SAME GURLL SAMEEE, I WOULD TOO YOURE NOT ALONE. AND YES FARLAN IT IS FUNNY, IT MADE ME LAUGH.

Awww the people are so nice, offering things for free, that's how you know you're loved by your people, I rate it, rate Levi sm.

Okay my guy, imma need you stop for a second and relax. Taking your top of??? And your scarf??? Okay big man, I see you, I see you, looking fine af. Ahhh I love imagining this in my brain, so stimulating.

Anyways, Y/N'S HERE NOWWW YES BITCHHH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE, TURN IT UPPPP.

Nanaba being my sister is absolutely exquisite *chefs kiss*. I really thought you'd maybe put Petra, and then Petra would like Levi as well, but no its Nanaba and I fucking love her so so much. Also not really relevant, but I dont have any older sisters, but I do have older cousin sisters and I call my favourite one didi mooni (I think that's how you spell it, or muni idk) and yeah it just reminded me of her. I haven't seen her in so so long because of the pandemic and I miss her :(

Ah. So. Y/N does hate the royals. I wanna know why?? Does she think they're overrated?? A bad experience maybe?? Everyone else seems to love them. I'll just have to wait and see I guess.

ALSO PLEASE TELL ME THE LITTLE KID WAS MIKASA!!! IM HOPING SO SO MUCH ITS MIKASA, IT PROBABLY ISNT BECAUSE SHES AN ACKERMAN HERSELF BUT I CAN STILL HOPE!!! SHES SO CUTEEE AND ADORABLE AWWWW WEVIIII 🥺🥺🥺

THEY SELL TEAAA AHHH ITS A LOVE STORY BOUND TO HAPPEN. AND HE HASNT TRIED THEM YETT!!!! YES OMGGG TEA DATES, THEY CAN BOTH SIT DOW AND SHE CAN INTRODUCE HIM TO NEW SHITT AHHHH MY HEARTTTT 🥰🥰🥰IM GETTING WAYYYY AHEAD OF MYSELF.I need to calm down.

The whole meeting with Levi and Y/N was so adorable. It felt really short and I want more, but its okayyy, hopefully there are more chapters. Them locking eyes, him following her to get the leaves, HIM HELPING HER PICK UP THE BLOODY LEAVES, THE HAIR PART REMINDS ME OF IN BOLLYWOOD MOVIES WHEN THE PROTAGS HAIR GETS STUCK IN THE GUYS WATCH OR THEIR DUPATTA OR SOMETHING. OMGG Y/N IS ONE LUCKY BITCH.

Also since you havent specified the race of y/n, just wanted to ask is she Indian?? Or it it unspecified?? You wrote that she blushed bright red and many dark skinned readers wont be able relate. So yeah I'm not too sure whether that was intentional or not, I'm sorry if I'm mistaken though. I mean no harm at all.

Farlan's relationship with Levi is just beautiful, like I know I'm using the word beautiful a lot, but their broship is immaculate. Something else that I love.

Both Levi and Y/N not wanting to get married is hilarious. I really like how you've characterised her, shes really fierce, independent and seems really kind and caring as well. I really like this Y/N, very family oriented.

If I was her dad I would've taken the money. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ Not complaining about it because my dad would've done the exact same thing, but if I was him I wouldve taken it. Sis is broke, sis needs all the money she can get.

Both parties questioning Levi and Y/N is hilarious, fucking Erwin, I love him so much I stg. I'd sacrifice my life for him. Hes best boy 😇😇

I feel like this is really really long already so I'll quickly sum everything up, if you got this far you deserve a clap on the back and a medal, because I've basically just waffled. I really really enjoyed this chapter, it was very good in terms of introductions and getting to know the characters, I loved the initial meeting between levi and y/n and it did make my heart flutter quite a bit so that's that. I dont have any complaints really, just small minor things I've mentioned before and that's it. I really look forward to the coming chapters!!! Thank you so so much for writing it. Please make sure you're taking regular breaks and keeping hydrated and healthy. Thanks sweetie xxx 🥰🥰🥰

I’ve read this WHOLE thing..twice. I can’t stop smiling omf you’re so sweet! But, yeah minor shit I didn’t mention and I left it up to reader. Like the skin tone, sheesh. I don’t want any problems with that, I just said red blush to signify embarrassment. Reader is reader no matter what.

Aren’t we all broke af? But I liked the idea of the father being humble about it. Lol. Idk.

I don’t want to get into too much detail because that will obviously ruin the story but I love your ideas. Tea dates?! How cute! Erwin is the best, of course. He knows ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and he’s the kind of person who would follow his princes no matter what. Till the end, you know?

As I said, highly inspired by Bollywood movies lol.

You took your time and wrote all of this and I’m so fucking happy that you did. I can’t wait for all of you to see the upcoming chapters. I hope that you’re staying happy and hydrated as well. Also, happy Shivratri! (If you celebrate for it) and to everyone else celebrating.

-Caddy.

[creambunnie]

No Rush

ONEWE - Harin Fluff

it was your birthday.

you lied down on your bed, scrolling through your sns, waiting for a call from a certain someone, named Ju Harin.

Harin was your bestfriend (mayhaps, your crush too) and he was in a cool street band called ONEWE.

he had been busy these days with his bandmates, preparing for their upcoming gig. this gig was bigger than their previous ones, which explained why they had more things to settle .

Harin was so busy that you haven't had the chance to meet him face to face the past few weeks.

the both of you did text everyday, but they were more like short messages , just to ask about each other's wellbeing.

no deep talks, no random stuffs, just simple texts asking if they were eating and resting well.

you sighed for the nth time that day before standing up, deciding to go eat some strawberry cheesecake your family bought for your birthday.

"did harin call you already?". your mom asked as you were taking some of the dessert in the kitchen.

you only shook your head but quickly looked up when you heard your mom chuckled.

"i'm sure he will soon. just try to be presentable, okay?". your mom comforted and winked before walking out .

you blinked at her words, clearly confused about what she was talking about. you decided to just clear your mind and distract yourself with food.

~

after enjoying your sweet treat, which probably only took less than 10 mins, you went back to your room, and repeated the cycle earlier.

you almost dozed off to sleep while playing with your phone when suddenly your screen changed, displaying Harin's name , requesting for a videocall.

you cursed under your breath as you quickly patted down your hair quickly and rubbed your eyes to get rid of any sleep before answering the call.

you were greeted with a synchronised "Happy Birthday !" wish from all the 5 boys.

yeah, you were bestfriends with Harin so his bandmates automatically became your friends too.

Cya and Dongmyeong were like little brothers to you, you would pamper them with food everytime you visit the band.

Kanghyun was a same-age friend. you would just chill quietly with him when others were too loud and your energy had drained.

Yonghoon was a great big brother you've never had. he was the only one who knew about your crush on Harin. no, you didn't tell. he figured it out.

"y/n?? y/n ! are you okay?". your thoughts were interrupted by the sweet deep voice that you've been missing.

you quickly looked back at the screen of your phone and nodded vigorously.

"yeah yeah i'm okay! i was just a bit surprised from your call. aww thank you guys for calling!! i was about to get mad at Harin for not calling me at all on my birthday!". you explained and pouted at the last part as your gaze turned towards Harin.

you didn't notice but Harin's ears turned red when he saw your cute expression. he cleared his throat and moved around his seat.

"well i am here aren't i?". Harin tried to act normal.

his bandmates snickered at him quietly . you rolled your eyes at his response and flashed a shy smile.

~

all of you caught up with one another, sharing about the episodes that you've been missing out about each other.

"and then Harin got scolded by Hyungu for playing with his ukelele!". Dongmyeong, the talkative one was telling about their practice the other day.

"but who wouldn't get angry if someone played around with your instruments? it could get spoiled!". Kanghyun, the quiet one was actually loud in this videocall, trying to defend himself.

"yeah yeah, not like you've never thrown my drumsticks around the studio!". Harin contorted back.

their bickering got cut when they heard you chuckled from the screen.

"ahh i really miss you guys.... it feels so refreshing hearing you guys argue like an old married couple!".

the boys' expression softened up as they saw your happy face.

Harin can't deny the fact that he was missing you really bad right now. he wished he could just drive to your place but due to his circumstances, he wasn't able to.

Harin just wanted to pat your head lovingly right now and pinch your cute cheeks. the slight dimples on your cheeks were his favourite .

your eyes unnoticingly found its way to Harin who was staring at you admiringly. you blinked at the sudden eye contact and scratched your head awkwardly as you felt your face warmed up.

Yonghoon sensed the unspoken need of alone time for the two bestfriends. he nudged Kanghyun and poked the two youngest gently.

"hey guys, let's give Harin some time alone with his bestfriend.". Yonghoon said softly.

the three boys understood the oldest and excused themselves politely before leaving the two of you alone.

"i miss you....".

you gave a shy smile as you heard Harin's words.

"i miss you too... i hope things are settled quickly for you guys so we can meet and hang! i'm sorry i can't visit you guys too these days, i'm a bit busy with work and i don't want to disturb you...". you replied.

Harin nodded in understandment and reached his hand out as if he could hold yours.

"you don't even know how much i want to hug you right now.. hugging the members just don't feel the same.". Harin pouted as he complained.

you giggled at his randomness and shook your head.

"you're so clingy! you can hug me as much as you want when we meet , okay?". you comforted as you scrunched up your nose at Harin's cuteness.

Harin suddenly sat up and looked at his phone.

"ah!! go to your front door now! i have a surprise for you.". Harin instructed.

your eyes widened as you quickly did as told.

~

"Ju Harin!!! this is , beautiful!". you screamed the moment you entered back your room with your arms wrapped around some gifts .

Harin sent a delivery for your birthday gifts . you received a bouquet of flowers and a package .

"ah let me call the others! they have to see you open your present ! it's from all of us!". Harin said and quickly screamed the members' names.

you waited for all of them to sit back down. you grinned as you excitedly unpacked the package . the boys were anticipating your reaction to their gift.

you squeled as you took out a small box that had a post-it on it saying 'OPEN ME FIRST'.

"WAHHH". you said in delight as you pulled out the ring necklace .

ONEWE smiled at your reaction and called out your name to show you their own necklaces .

your names were engraved on the rings. they gifted you the rose gold one, and they all had the silver one.

"we decided to gift you something that is meaningful. we hope you love it!". CyA said as he fiddled with his necklace.

you nodded and wore the friendship necklace right away. "i love it!!". you exclaimed.

you admired the necklace for a few more seconds before turning back to the package. there was another box.

"oh? what's this ?". you asked as you took the box.

Harin grinned before cheekily asking the members to leave him alone again.

you raised an eyebrow before opening the second box.

you gasped at the beautiful gift and looked at Harin with admiration. "this is so beautiful Harin!". you whispered as you pulled out the watch out of the box.

Harin smiled widely at your cute expression. he then showed his wrist and giggled cutely.

he had the bigger version of the watch while he gave you the smaller one.

"i thought besides the friendship necklace, we two should have our coup--- uhm bestfriend matching things too. so i bought this watch for us !". Harin explained, and almost exposing his feelings for you.

you scanned the watch carefully before putting it on.

"i love it!". you exclaimed over and over again, making Harin feel good of himself.

the two of you ended up sitting in front of the screen quietly, admiring each other. but your quiet moment was interrupted by Yonghoon.

"hey Harin! are you done? i wanna talk to your bestfriend too!". Yonghoon shouted from the other side.

"yeah! i want to complain a lot of things about you!". Dongmyeong added.

"you're not the only one who misses y/n!". CyA whined cutely. Kanghyun only nodded, agreeing with CyA.

Harin flashed an embarrassed smile before nodding, allowing his members to join back the call.

"don't worry, i'll call you again later at night. we can talk alone then..". you whispered through the screen.

Harin smiled shyly and nodded vigorously as he gave you a thumbs up.

the atmosphere became chaotic again as the boys talked over one another, excited to share with you everything.

you still think you were the only one who had feelings for Harin, and Harin thought he was the only one who had feelings for you.

or maybe you knew Harin liked you too. and maybe Harin too knew that you liked him.

but the two of you were too afraid to move on to the next level which might ruin your friendship in the future. the both of you decided to take it slow and enjoy your current relationship. no rush....

.

.

a/n : submitted this for a oneshot contest but didnt get the opportunity to win the prize 😆 but it's okay~ my intention was not to win but to let others enjoy some onewe contents 💕💕 hope you guys enjoyed this fluffy harin😗😗😗

[imasimpforstevengrant]

I feel you

Author's note:

@raven-romanoff

@maristela1968

For you again, lovelies!

This is the first smut I write after almost two years. I hope you like it!

As always, sorry for any typos. English is not my first language.

____________________________________

Summary: Follow up to "I understand you".

As his strange relationship with Harleen oscillates between friendship and desire, Arthur takes the things to another level.

Warnings: angst, self hatred, mentions of masturbation, swearing, house breaking, strong sexual themes and smut.

Words: 6.258

Part 1:

Part 2:

____________________________________

Arthur couldn't sleep that night. His mind, overtaken by a growing confidence, tormented with new feelings for her created a dark, devilish smile in his face. He closed the door carefully, taking off his hoodie, shirt and shoes, wearing only sweatpants around the house, smoking a cigarette. He sat on the couch, knees bouncing. Something in his chest burns. That night Arthur felt different. He felt sure of his actions, instead of the usual anxiety and fear. Replaying the wonderful moment which he was the protagonist of, savoring every detail, while directing to the table. Her voice echoed through his head, her smile painting across his memory, the way she looked at him. His feet weren't able to keep still and Arthur knew this hyperventilation was caused by the shock of his first intimate contact with a woman. He already planned what he would do once they'd meet again. Probably to take her to dinner or simply going to the playground with a coffee and cigarettes to spend the night talking.

Handing himself his treasured journal, Arthur searched for the section dedicated to her. Grabbing a pen, he wrote her name. Misspelled, but affectionately.

Harlen Quenzel.

He tried in vain to write anything else, because his mind clouded basking in a bliss he had never felt before.

The blinding white light coming from above the kitchen hindered the happy replay of the image of Harleen coming closer to him to kiss his lips. But he simply turned it off. The tips of his fingers touched the dry flesh blessed by her mouth. Lighting a cigarette he fantasizes now. Taking her in the floor, in the bedroom or in the couch... She would love it. Arthur guaranteed himself that. The proof was clear: she had enjoyed his sudden and explosive display of passion. He suppressed a chuckle, afraid of another fit of laughter. But it did not go further. He stood in the dark for a while, before going to the couch to try to get some sleep. His mind was way too excited to even hold his legs still. The lucky loner grabbed the pack of cigarettes, smoking another one immediately after finishing the other one. Thing was, he couldn't consummate his passion in this moment... But he certainly could let his mind fly by thinking about Harleen and her virtues for now. Arthur headed to the bathroom.

A little joy given by himself wouldn't be so bad. ________________________________________

Over the next two months, the strange relationship between Arthur and Harleen grew from a friendship that had frequent outbursts of passion to long hours of talking about anything, from work to jokes.

As much as Arthur felt a silently uncontrollable lust for Harleen, he truly felt affection and caring for her. This was shown in small gestures like inviting her to dinner or waiting up late when her shift was over whenever neither of them would spend the entire night sleeping. They had each other and it was okay with that. In was in these situations where their bond grew. It was so ironic that the one thing that prevented an actual rest to his tormented mind also allowed to have the closest and most meaningful relationship he ever had in his life.

Arthur became more introverted than he already was. He didn't talk too much at work and had the growing tendency to isolate from others. To his co-workers this was probably another demonstration of his deteriorated mental state but Arthur was too busy trying to cope with these new feelings. He was asked more than once about this but he avoided to answer, limiting to reply he was okay. At the end of the day, the party clown left with a anxious pace. His co-workers were sure Arthur had finally lost his mind. And in some way, he did. Why was he in a rush? They would never know.

It was saturday when things changed. Arthur came back from a gig to Haha's with his clown make up on. Once in, he cleaned it from his face to leave without saying anything afterwards, too withdrawn into his daydreaming. He set a foot into the bus, as always, facing the window. The lights of daylight disappeared into the darkness or the night, rain pouring out. Arthur shielded from the cold sinking into his partly tattered hoodie. By this hour, Harleen should have been in her workplace. He just hoped no one would harm her at the time of her return. Arthur thought he could wait for her at the building's entrance, making sure she was safe. Harleen would like it.

He thought this weekend would be different. And Arthur had a very good reason why.

_________________________________________

It was Sunday when Arthur got up early to clean the house and to prepare breakfast for Penny to feed during the first lights of day.

It was in this way he could focus completely on his upcoming date at night. As the day vanished for nighttime to arrive, he put a cheap cologne on, his pants perfectly ironed. Same with the shirt and red vest. And the usual yellow hoodie Harleen learned to love so much. His excitement reflected in his voice as he waved goodbye to his always distracted mother, who simply waved back, not interested on how much brighter Arthur's eyes were in that moment. Heading to the door, he heard a frustrating ask:

"Happy, can you put this letter in the box?"

His shoulders lose strength. Arthur tried his best to hide his annoyance.

"It's for Thomas Wayne".

"I know, mom", the whisper was almost inaudible. Returning to the living room, he took the letter gently just to jump back to the door to free himself, "I'll be back at night".

She just nodded. And he finally breathed his freedom, feeling more confident than ever. But his sense of victory over the world vanished as he realized he still had that fucking letter in hand. A tired sigh leaves his lips. But he ran as fast as possible to reach the first floor to get rid of the piece of useless attempt to get attention from a man who maybe didn't remember her. The rusty locker received it and Arthur at last could set a foot outside the building, crossing his arms.

Harleen arrived a few seconds later. Arthur smiled, coming closer to her. Her outfit was unpretentious but neat: black pants and sneakers, a red wool sweater. Her hair was done into two colourful buns and a few strands which fell into her face. But the thing he liked the most was that blood red lipstick... And her grin made it better.

"Hello, clown man", Harleen nuzzled his nose tenderly. It was an habit he loved from her, as any other touch. He chuckled, greeting her back. Then both got out of the building, leading to the donut shop so they could have coffee and toast.

"So, how was your week?", Harleen asked as Arthur held his cup, drinking the steamy hot liquid.

"It was fine. I had a gig in a children's hospital. It turned out great because it was a charity event".

"Really?"

"Yeah. They were... Getting money for families that cannot afford to pay treatments".

Harleen nodded, warming her hands with the mug. Arthur then returned the question. Harleen told him the bar had more regulars than usual. This caught her eye, and paid very much attention to it during the weekly shift.

"What is it?".

"People are drinking their souls out" she replied, after eating her toast, "and that's not all. There was a recently fired guy that feared if Wayne is elected mayor, unemployment and riots will get worse."

Arthur lowered his head. He ate the toast to state:

"Why do so many people believe in that man, anyway?"

"He's rich, successful and an entrepreneur. Men like him have no idea how to run a city for the simple fact that entrepreneurs like him see people as numbers, not as complex sentient beings."

"How come?", Arthur fixed his collar.

"They only care for economy, Arthur. They disregard the fact that not everyone has the same chances for success they had and therefore any help for impoverished people is nothing but a "waste of money". Wayne is convinced that everyone who receives any kind of welfare doesn't want to work." Arthur remained silent for a while, processing what she just said.

"Men like him will never know what is like to be someone like you or me", Harleen concluded, finishing her coffee.

"But at least we have our jobs" Arthur commented comically.

"Yeah, as long as we get paid" and both laughed.

The shop was almost empty, which made easier to listen to the radio while talking. This gave them more topics to talk about. But then a song came out. Arthur knew it, he closed his eyes, engulfing himself in the gloomy tune of the song:

"King of all

Hear me call

Hear my name

Carnival"

Harleen did not interrupt. She understood that Arthur, as an extremely introverted person, couldn't be interrupted when exploring, talking or listening. It was pleasant to see him glad or enjoying things for once. She smiled as he mouthed the lyrics, which he knew perfectly. As the song came to an end, Harleen extended her hand, eyeing Arthur to look for his approval. As much as he enjoyed the sudden outbursts of affection, Arthur still wasn't used to publicly show it. Harleen comprehended as well and wouldn't force him to do it. She discovered it when going back from a previous date when she just held his hand. He became a blushing mess but it didn't go further, thank goodness.

Arthur noted the hand whose black and red nail polish established a hurtful contrast in comparison to her light skin. He then looked at her. He slid his own towards Harleen's. Their hands intertwined. Another little touch and he was already yearning for her. Arthur wanted to love her without words, without distance between them. Just the two of them. He wanted so much to tell her, but didn't dare to. Despite the fact he adored her, there was something he could never tell her... Yet.

There was something Arthur loathed about himself but he did his best to not to give it too much importance, choosing to focus on other things, instead. Arthur Fleck was a man and as such, he had needs. But the need wasn't the problem. Satisfying it was. He was comprehensive enough to understand that motherly affection was the closest thing he ever had to love. Devoid of any bond with anyone else, he frequently masturbated to soothe the sexual need. Usually to porn magazines whose pages he tore up to stick them in his journal. A fulfilling sexual life was a dream, far away from his reach. He could only see it but never take part in it, as it was with everything in his life. An eternal spectator, never a protagonist. Thinking of her, lusting after her... And he wasn't able to even mutter a fucking word. He cursed the emptiness roaming during all his life. Because he had nothing to offer her except desire. His inexperience was never a problem, given his surrender to embrace a life of solitude. Until now. Her arrival to his life made him remember how much of a man he was. And her kindness just fanned the fire within him.

Harleen squeezed his hand a little more, noting his unsettled nerve. Arthur sighed, out of the gloomy, bleak storm that creeped out as a dark mist in his mind. But her face shines as a small light of hope. Her eyes promised so many good things that he couldn't bring himself to believe.

"What's troubling you, Mr. Fleck?" her smile was accomplice, as if she knew what was lurking into the labyrinth of his mind, but wanting to hear it from his mouth.

"I just... I was thinking about...", Harleen encouraged him to tell her. He inhaled deeply, lighting a cigarette to cope with the newfound stress. Once again, his everlasting negative thoughts clouded the moment. The vocal cords were unresponsive. His hand broke contact with hers to hold his forehead, looking for the right words to speak. His knees bounced. Harleen leaned in, waiting.

"Artie?"

The tender pronunciation of the diminutive form of his name turned his gaze to her.

"I think I prefer to tell you... In private".

Harleen nodded. The response sounded too dark. And she knew that if Arthur talked like that, it was something serious. They left the donut shop, walking towards the subway. It was almost empty and dark. Just a few people were on it. The couple sit down, with Harleen tangling the arm around his to tilt her head on his shoulder. Arthur kept his eyes on the window, trying to figure out how the fuck he'd tell her about it.

As they reached the last stop, they left the subway station to step up the stairs and then Arthur reached a dirty, dark public restroom surrounded on the outside of a fence. Both stopped for a moment before the gnawed door. Harleen looked up to the party clown's dark features. He pronounced no words.

"Arthur?"

"There's something I need to tell you", his murmur comes shy, cast down.

"What is it?"

He stepped away from her. His hands clasp his mouth, disapproving his thoughts. He shook his head, eyes shut. Circling his own personal space, lightheaded. Harleen came closer to him.

"Is it bad?"

Arthur glared at her, guilty.

"I mean... I don't know how to tell you. I just hope you don't laugh at me".

"Why would I do that?".

Arthur half opened his eyes.

"I want...", It took a long, deep inhalation to pronounce the first part. He coughed, to clear his throat seconds later, "I need to tell you... That I really like you... And--", he silenced his words, trying to put them correctly in his mind.

"And?"

"See" he sighed, "I've..."

Harleen widened her eyes in anticipation.

"I've been thinking about you a lot... and I would be lying if I tell you I don't want something else".

"What is 'something else'?" Harleen whispered.

Arthur processed the question. And then answered:

"It's just..." He brushed the small beads of sweat on his forehead with the palm of his hand, "I love the way you touch me, Harleen" Arthur continued, "and I simply can't get enough of it".

"Because we both need it, Arthur. I love just as much as you do. That makes it so satisfying", he chuckled, humbled. Harleen expected more of him.

"That's not all", he gazed not to her. This was the one moment that could end it all or strengthen this precious bond of theirs.

"Arthur" she called him, "don't be afraid. Please tell me".

"I want to sleep with you", Arthur finally confessed, gazing at her. His eyes confirmed the statement. He blinked slowly, wanting her to see the animalistic yearn on them.

Harleen stared at him, shocked of how much he trusted her to confess something so intimate. His breathe had shortened. His green eyes glowed like emeralds, embellished even more with his pupils dilated. The blonde invited him inside the bathroom so they could keep baring their souls. Arthur inspected the place to make sure it was completely safe to stay there. Harleen locked the door once they knew it was unoccupied.

"I don't want to beg for love" Arthur said, his voice raspy, "but I don't want to lie to you. I want to know if you feel the same" Arthur spoke in a very low voice. Harleen looked at him, infatuated before this new dark vibe from him. He looked like a totally different person. Her fingers slid into his curls.

"I knew it already, Arthur."

"And why doesn't it bother you?"

"Because I can understand why you want it".

Arthur turned to her. Never in his life he felt more expecting. Harleen explained, in very simple terms, that she found his attachment understandable: Arthur had been deprived of love during all his life and this new bond made him feel important. From becoming visible and cared for to reaffirm his manhood through sexual desire. Arthur heard every word carefully, and it made sense. Everything made fucking sense. It was through sexual intercourse that men felt loved.

Love.

It was always about love, at the end of all.

Harleen returned the cigarette to him.

"Don't blame yourself. You're a human, after all. Sex is the most pleasant of human activities, so don't feel bad for enjoying it".

"It's not that I don't enjoy it. I don't feel ready to do it, despite of how much I want it".

Harleen frowned, and her silence just made Arthur confess one of his most (if not the most) shameful secrets. Only now she knew the extent of her impact in his life. She knew a lot about him, including the seven medications he was in, but this? She had been aware of the way he looked at her, but hearing him actually admitting it out loud made her shudder. Her arms locked around his shoulders to pull Arthur to a kiss in the cheek.

"It's not a race or a competition. You just feel and act according to your instincts. Also, I'd be lying too if I said I don't want anything else" Arthur sank his eyes into Harleen's, "quite frankly, we were close to have sex the night we first talked if it wasn't because I was too tired to do so, but now, if you don't feel ready to do it, I won't pressure you to do anything".

"Starting a friendship in that way? I like it" he hummed, mischievous.

"We are not friends... Because... Friends are not supposed to touch each other. That's what lovers do. But... We aren't lovers, yet" Harleen whispered.

"Then what are we?" Arthur asked.

"We are, Arthur. We simply are" this time her kiss directed to his mouth. _________________________________________

Arthur changed his damp clothes to avoid the cold. The bedroom TV was turned on as well as the hall lights. The usual. He prepared the dinner for his mother, bathing her and making sure she'd go to bed. The conversation was the same. Thomas fucking Wayne and the fucking letters. Arthur had no interest on losing energy on nonsense, so he only nodded. He took a shower and shaved the growing beard and wore his grey sweatpants. A few observations written in the pages of the journal about his day at Haha's and Arthur felt his routine was finished, therefore he could count down to the moment when Harleen was back at home from work. His eyes darted at the clock. 1:14 am. Less than two hours for her return. He felt confident enough to go to her apartment and stay all night with her. He smoke five cigarettes in the meantime, walking over the house. Turning the TV on so time wouldn't pass so long. He sat at the couch, waiting for an old rerun of Murray Franklin's Show. An actor was to be interviewed but he couldn't focus entirely on it. He laid down. His mind pictured her beside him. However, as much as he cherished all the physical and emotional affection from her, it wasn't enough anymore. It was hard to accept it but that's just the way it was. As the show ended, an old movie ran. Arthur turned the device off. The clock sets the time: 2:24 am. Less than hour. He got up, turning the lights off, hoodie in hand and determination in his mind. Locking the door, Arthur left. He walked across the halls, stepping down to the destination: 7H. The door was unlocked, much to his surprise. The loner felt truly in home. If only she was in there for him to shower her in his affection. But he then realized the neon lights were on. His heart skipped a beat. The air seemed... Different. He stood as quiet as possible to see what was going on. The rain slightly broke the total silence that ruled the place. Arthur reached the living and then, only then, he saw her.

Harleen was placidly sleeping on the couch, wearing a two part, peach coloured pajamas. Her mane was a mess of white, blue and pink strands that fell over her face. Her head rested on a pillow and her pose revealed how comfy her sleep was. Kneeling beside the couch, Arthur leaned over her face, his fingers set aside the colourful mane to obtain the beautiful vision of her peaceful facial expression. His thumb glided over her lips, which he soon joined with his. It was slow, intimate kiss, full of subtle hunger.

Seconds later, her hands cupped his face to make the caress steadier, humming playfully. Arthur broke the kiss to eye her. Half sleep, Harleen smiled at him.

"Hey" he called, secretive.

"Good night, Mr. Fleck", she muttered, voice pasty, "another insomnia night?" but he shook the head.

"I thought you weren't here. I couldn't help it", he muttered.

“Never said I mind. Bar closed earlier and here I am”.

“Really? Why?”

“The riots, Arthur. Boss preferred to send us home before any damage could be done by the protesters”.

Arthur made room for himself in the cozy, fluffy long couch. Asking if she was okay, Harleen just replied she took a taxi to make home safely. Arthur sighed, relieved. The blonde smiled at him but didn’t move any further. He noticed that, blaming for being so inconsiderate. Getting into her apartment and disturbing her rest like that? What a awful friend (lover) he was! Recoiling with guilt and diving again in the brooding mood so typical on him, he distanced from his love. She fell asleep once more. Arthur kept his gaze on her, tracing invisible touches in her curves. She was so close yet so far. He wanted to be a part of her, to be with her.

Inside of her.

The calloused fingers held his face to wash away the shame. The nerves were too much to take. The laugh gestated in a noise initially deaf to hear from afar to a thunderous fit. Harleen jolted at the sudden outburst. Arthur couldn’t feel worse. The expression on his face was so desperate for silence that the blonde immediately went after him when he shrugged, attempting in vain to drown the horrible noise that made his vocal cords bleed. Harleen dissuaded Arthur of any idea of escape just to hold him. The mentally ill loner sank his face into her neck. The embrace didn’t stop the scandalous explosion to keep shattering the quietness of the place, sensing Harleen squeezed his faint figure, seemingly trying to put every piece of his broken yet beautiful soul to help to soothe the pain.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—“

Her voice hushed his apologize. As the din disappeared into nothingness, both returned to the living room on the couch but Arthur took a step back from her.

“Why?”

Puzzled, Harleen frowns. She gave him space to recover.

“Why what?”

“Why me?”, Arthur regained strength to ask her, staring at her for a long period of time, “of all men you can have, why me?”

For the first time, Harleen seemed upset.

“If you think I do this out of pity, you are very, very wrong” the fire in her eyes was fascinating.

“Then why?”

Harleen processed the question while Arthur desperately awaited the reason to be verbalised.

“Please”.

She gulped.

“Because you’re a good man, Arthur”.

The response was too simple to be believable, though it was grateful to hear a compliment from her. Desiring more, his stare pierced her soul, to let her take the hint. Imprisoned under the green spell of his, Harleen proceeded to continue:

“I mean- you are always trying to make people laugh, yet people don’t see you and you still continue. You love what you do, you have been kind to me, you care about your mother putting your well-being aside. Don’t you think that is worth enough?”

Arthur shut his eyes, his head to the left, lighting a cigarette while the bouncing knee betrayed his feeling of unsettlement. Harleen noticed it. Wind took words away. Actions prevailed in time.

Time! That’s precisely what he needed. Both battled uneasiness in their own, unique way. While Harleen on her own end of the couch thought on a way to help him, Arthur tried to give order to his convulsed mind. He constantly touched his forehead and chest but never dared to eye her, terrified that she would vanish. The damn cigarette placed again on his lips. The muteness grew so uncomfortable the loner returned to glare at the blonde. She slowly approached to him, searching in his face his approval to get closer. Afraid to disturb his personal space in the same way someone would be cautious when getting closer to a wild animal. Arthur gasped, his blood boiling in what seemed the exact moment that would define his life. Harleen crawled to him, reaching his shoulders to concrete her goal: sit in the space between his legs.

If Arthur believed that just a hug put him on fire, this new contact aroused him to the point of insanity. The blonde crowned the physical bond placing her head in the crook of his neck. The temptation to take her and possess her now was insufferable but he found the will to not give in into the impulsive reaction. How? He’d never know. His heart rate was so violent, so overwhelming that the threat of a heart attack was becoming more real. Harleen placed her hand on his chest, like caressing his damaged heart like a mother would do with an scared child. His lungs finally caught a calmer rhythm as minutes went by. Arthur craved new touches, new discoveries, yet he wanted to remain like this forever. He savoured the closeness of their bodies… but it wasn’t enough. Harleen surely knew it by the moment Arthur stopped smoking.

And whenever Arthur Fleck stopped smoking, it meant something serious got his attention.

As the last fire on the cigarette died on the ashtray, Arthur turned his focus completely on her. He’d return her the favour, since she invaded his personal space so shamelessly. Harleen distanced a bit from him to allow the hoodie to come off. She approved the sight with a wide smirk: despite what people could say about his figure, Arthur was not as thin as his outfit revealed. His bare upper body had a plenty of muscle in the biceps. She traced a finger across the aforementioned part to touch his jawline now, going down his neck and collarbone. Next, a nuzzle against his face to continue the intimate bond, brushing her lips with his, without kissing him. However there was no further reaction from him except for a serene look on his face at the caresses. As the touch came to an end, she kissed his mouth repeatedly, her lips curved into a smile. The gesture motivated his instinct to get the better of him. He rose his dark, thick eyebrow to let her know how much of an accomplice he turned out to be, like a warning of what he had planned for her.

It was almost a ritual. Whenever a situation turned out to be too unfamiliar or too good, his hands would act as the link to confirm his psyche wasn't playing tricks with him. But this wasn't only a situation. This was a person who unchained a situation. And how he thanked every second of it. It seemed a spark of happiness enlightened his life, for once. Probably because even fate believed that no human being should be so miserable. He needed a constant reaction from her to keep convincing himself this wasn’t a dream. To increase the enjoyment of his hands touching her, Arthur executed a move directed to her chest, gliding his hands over her breasts, covered by the thin fabric of the sleeveless shirt. Harleen gasped, eyeing the curious hands as they roamed upon that delicate part of her. Arthur was fascinated, as his grin evidently brought out.

Since he had understanding about sex, Arthur craved a woman’s touch. It began as wet dreams, continuing with the subsequent discover of porn, a source he always went to in order to provide himself a little satisfaction. He remembered the particularly unhappy time of highschool, where bullying and harsh looks were a routine. The laughing fits during class, boys from all ages mocking at him during recess. But lunchtime was the worst part. If he wasn’t beaten up, his food paid the price. Starving and tired, Arthur was relieved in part by dropping school. He wouldn’t have to deal with the brutality of his classmates anymore. Girls usually avoided him, scared by his weak appearance. He never asked a girl for a date, afraid to be taken as a pervert. He just repressed any sexual need, feeling like a depraved creep for being curious about female body.

The mental drift continued for a couple of minutes when he noticed that Harleen wasn’t too quiet now, her shortened breath revealing an intense joy at his touch. As it happened always in a moment of adrenaline, through his arms an herculean strength ran so intensely that made her sit on his lap with no problem. The most exciting part of this new bold position was that he could face his lover, aiming his interest to her neck, covering it with slow, paused kisses. Harleen supports on his shoulders, delighted at his intimate exploration. Her shortened breath became a heavy panting while the latter morphed into a loud moan. Arthur immediately looked up to the blonde, her mane tickling his face. Did he caused such wonderful reaction? Him? Arthur Fleck, the perpetual loser, the unfunny clown, the embodiment of what a man should never be?

Suddenly, the grip loosened. Arthur felt he couldn’t concentrate anymore on Harleen in the same way. A sensation similar to fainting snatched away the energy on his arms. A surge of boiling blood flowed down his groin.

Arthur knew what this meant and her thighs straddling his hips, exactly where his searing intimacy reacted to such delectable recreation.

This encouraged him to let his wildest side come out. The pale hands lifted the shirt to the level of her neck, obtaining her bare chest to devour while getting into the inner part of the shirt, leaving the barrier between skin and fabric behind his back. Harleen reared up before the fulminant demonstration of lust, screaming while clawing at his shoulders. She felt his mouth, eager and famished, assiduously paying dedication to her soft sinuosities. The position enabled her to coddle him as well.

Because he fucking deserved it.

Her fingers stirred the dark curls under the cloth, begging for more. When Arthur felt the arousal was too much to keep building it up to simple caresses, he threw the shirt aside to obtain her upper nude body to admire. His eyes widened as the glimpse was even more beautiful in reality than in his fantasies. He hummed, approving the sight, too anxious to take her and yet so insecure if she’d be satisfied.

The blonde tugged into his belt, making clear her desire to pursue a deeper insight of their relationship. Her body performed a subtle movement to make him lay down on his back. As Arthur got rid of his clothes, so she did. Once she reached her own full nudity, he covered his mouth, amazed. Forget the models in his journal. Harleen had no comparison. And she probably knew it.

“Do you like what you see, mister Fleck?” she purred, seductive. He panted, regaining the oxygen to answer.

“Yes” was all he answered. Arthur could hardly speak at this point. His eyes said everything, anyway. The tease was a gift before the beloved blonde climbed atop him. Arthur helped her, grabbing her by the hips he longed so much to trace his fingers on.

Harleen leaned over his face to grant it a last kiss, enjoying this final step preceding to the loss of individuality.

She seemed so unreal, even when her full weight upon him proved wrong. And he knew exactly what to do to prove his psyche otherwise.

The last trace of doubt disappeared completely as his own sex found itself inside of her at last. The insertion was very slow, no rushes, so both lovers could memorize every sensation. The pressure around his hardened length turned out to be a pleasure beyond the thinkable, causing a shuddering, fastened breath to crumple his lungs. He arched his back, a loud, pleasurable moan escaping his mouth. As he got used to the warm welcome she gave him, his hands held her hips to proceed. Harleen lolled her head back, moaning softly, rejoicing at his presence inside of her delicate womanhood. Stillness held their bodies together as they enjoyed the sensation brought by the union.

Arthur recovered from the initial shock before the long desired loss of his hated celibacy started to take place. Harleen, naked much to the delight of his eyes, had her white, porcelain skin beautifully shaded by the pink and blue dim neon lights. Arthur smirked at her, admiring her body with his hands, not to convince himself that he was not hallucinating but to make sure to tell her how much he had desired to do this.

Just then Harleen did her magic.

“Let me show you that you’re not invisible”.

The rhythm worked in a slow pace. The blonde’s masterful moves made him moan and groan loudly as she straddled his hips. Everything he imagined with her appalled in comparison to this. Harleen, so provocative and prodigious, was so delicate in this erotic surrender. Like almost floating in the air. Arthur wondered how much it could take until reaching the peak of the carnal pleasure. But the obnoxious thud that beat his brain even in this moment found itself defeated by this lovely and pleasurable novelty, eventually. Watching Harleen on top of him was an irresistible landscape and Arthur couldn’t be more grateful for it even if he tried.

And her moans didn’t help either. Harleen was too lost in the moment to even talk to him, restricting her vocal expressions of pleasure just to plead for more.

Arthur plunged in this novelty to feel like a man for the first time in his life. He chuckled, joyful. His concentration centered exclusively on her. Harleen was a living mess of ecstasy, away from reality. He couldn’t love her more, specially when she called his name. The grip on her hips became tighter, as the warm space that surrounded his arousal narrowed. Her moans arose to louder screams. Now that was something he wanted to hear, sliding his fingers up to her waist to her chest.

The sense of control began to disappear eventually.

The instigation inspired a new move from Arthur, who got up to enclose her waist to absorb her essence. Fastening the moves, the blonde threw her arms to his neck, increasing the union as much as they were able. Their screams echoed through the apartment, announcing the proximity of the climax.

The final frenzy took ahold of the lovers. It hit Harleen first, as the convulsion whipped her insides, her figure trembling.

Arthur was convinced his soul was living his body at the time of his climax. While Harleen allowed him to flood her with his seed, he held her hips to keep inside her the longest time possible. The passionate, fulfilling embrace that served as the conclusion to the act recomposed their sense of reality. Once the physical bond was broken, the lovers laid back in the couch. Arthur still had a hard time recovering from his first sexual experience. His lungs finally eased down as Harleen reassuringly talked to him. Arthur opened his eyes, to smile to her.

“That…” he stuttered, breathless, “that… was… fucking sensational”.

Harleen supported her head in her hand.

“Couldn’t agree more”.

Arthur smiled and didn’t resist the temptation to sink into her arms, awaiting for sleep to come. He gave himself in completely, handing his vulnerability to her. Harleen sighed, palming his back. Arthur recoiled in pain and she didn’t hesitate to apologize.

“What’s this?” Harleen was going to get up to check him out but he prevented it, shaking his head. Apparently it didn’t have too much importance for him.

“I want this” his whisper sounded legitimately grateful. He took her hands to kiss them dearly, “I want this”.

She nodded and then changed her position so Arthur could place himself upon her. Her open arms received his fragile, starving shape to grant it comfort, like remind him of how much of a man he could be. The loner muttered something, but Harleen was already sleeping. Arthur didn’t move at all, silently enjoying her chest moving up and down. He planted a kiss above her right breast and closed his eyes.

The rain intensified. And Arthur fell asleep in a state of complete inner peace for the first time in his life as the pink lights dissipated into black as his eyes slowly closed.

It was the most beautiful darkness he’d ever been in.

[anotherriceball0326]

***SPOILER ALERT***

This is a short Fruits Basket fanfiction that I've been working on. It takes place shortly after the group returns from the beachhouse. This is my very first time writing fanfiction so please be kind. I'm always open to constructive criticism/suggestions to improve my writing. It's a work in progress so new chapters be released asap.Hope you all enjoy what I've written ❤.

Summary

While Shigure is away for the weekend, Kyou sees the time alone as the perfect opportunity to confess his true feelings to Tohru. Sadly, his plans are quickly extinguished by a group of uninvited guests.

Chapter one: "I Need to. Talk to You"

It was a crisp, Autumn night. The moments they shared at the beachhouse were now precious memories. It was time to put Summer behind them and focus on what's ahead.

Shigure was gone for the weekend at a writers convention, leaving the teenagers home alone. It was the first time they were entrusted to be left alone for more than a few hours and they didn't want to screw it up.

Yuki was looking forward to some quiet time where he could focus on his school work, student counsel priorities and prepare for his upcoming exams. Tohru, of course, was still adamant about getting housework done.

And Kyou....well Kyou wanted nothing more than for that damn rat to disappear for the weekend with Shigure so he could really enjoy this time with Tohru... but the current circumstances would have to do.

"I'll be upstairs if you need me Ms. Honda." Yuki smiled, but quickly changed his tone after glancing at Kyou "Don't do anything reckless, stupid cat."

The nerve of this guy!

"Grrr.... SHUT UP YOU DAMN RAT! WHAT I DO IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Kyou shouted. He knew that Yuki was just trying to screw with his head, but he wouldn't let him ruin this.

Not tonight. Not this moment.

This was the first time Kyou had been alone with Tohru since the beach house. The first time he'd been alone with her since he finally admitted to himself that he loved her.

He loved her... he loved her so much.

It was so easy for him to say that in his head. It was so clear to him now. Why had it taken him so long to come to that realization? Why had he not figured it out sooner?

There was so much time that he wasted trying to pretend as though he felt indifferent. Hell, it took him months to admit that he even considered her a friend. How long had he felt this way? How long had he longed to pull her in close.... how long had he wanted to hold her in his arms and never let go? How long had he wanted to feel her soft, rosy lips against his?

Kyou's heart began to race as thoughts of their first embrace played out in his head. He felt his palms begin to sweat. He knew something about this moment felt different. Almost like something big was about to happen. That thought scared the crap out of him.

"Kyou? You okay? You don't look too good.." Tohru asked.

"Huh?...Oh uh....no! I mean..... Yes...." Kyou felt himself start to panic. What the hell was he doing? This is Tohru. The girl he's grown so comfortable sharing everything with... The girl who saw his true form. The girl who accepted him at his ugliest and most terrifying.... Why is he suddenly unable to speak to her without sounding like a complete idiot?

He knew why... he knew that this moment was different. She was no longer just his warm hearted friend that was easy to talk to or a kind soul that he could vent his problems to...

No... she was so much more than that now. He now felt the overwhelming feelings of desire. The desire to make her his forever and to never leave her side. The desire to hold her in his arms and drown her in his affection.

The thought of it made his ears feel hot and brought redness to his face, but also an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he may throw up if he uttered a single syllable.

"Okay, well... as long as you're sure" Tohru hesitated. "I'm just gonna start dinner, okay?"

Say something, idiot!

"L…let me help. "Kyou finally released a coherent sentence.

Tohru's face lit up. "That would be wonderful!" She exclaimed.

Damn it.... why does she have to be so cute.

He always thought Tohru was cute of course. That day she discovered their secret, he remembered thinking those thoughts. Her cuteness was obvious. Anyone with half a brain could see that.

But now... now he saw her as a woman. He noticed every small detail about her. The smell of her strawberry scented hair. The way her hair flowed as she flipped it away from her face. The adorable crinkle in her nose when she thought something was really funny. The melodic sound of her voice when she said his name. The warmth of her brown eyes as she listened with sincerity. The sway of her hips as she walked...

Stop! Stop it you pervert!

Kyou hated having those thoughts about her. The thoughts that extended beyond her cuteness. The thoughts that made him desire her in a way that he's never wanted any girl.

It felt wrong. It felt wrong because Tohru was so pure and innocent. He didn't want to taint the image of such a perfect person.

But he couldn't help it. He wanted her. He wanted all of her. All to himself.

That must be what love is. Kyou had never fallen in love before, not like this. Only love that was shared between a parent and their child or a platonic love that you have for your friends.

Okay, snap out of it or Tohru will worry.

Kyou began helping Tohru in the kitchen by chopping vegetables. His hands shook dramatically as he worked but he did his best to control himself. He tried to use the breathing techniques that his Master had taught him over the years.

Tonight needs to be the night. She needs to know how I'm feeling.

Kyou was beginning to suspect that Tohru possibly shared some of the same feelings he had for her. He noticed the way she looked at him sometimes and how bashful she became when they accidentally touched or how flustered she would get after he teased her.

I need to know. Honestly, what do I have to lose?

Kyou looked over at Tohru. The steam from the pot of stew she was making left a thin layer of sweat on her face. He could not help but stare and admire the beautiful features of her face. Even drenched in sweat, she was perfect.

“Kyou? Are you sure you're okay?” Tohru questioned, looking even more concerned than she did earlier. “You look like you're about to pass out. Are you feeling under the weather?”

As she said that, Tohru placed a hand on Kyou's forehead. It sent a shiver down his spine. Even just a hand to his forehead was enough to weaken his resolve.

“I said I’m fine….quit your worrying, okay?” Kyou smiled and grabbed Tohru’s hand as he removed it from his forehead.

Instead of immediately letting her hand go, he hesitated. He looked down at her soft, petite hands and smiled.

“You really do worry too much.” He said as he finally released her hand, hoping she didn't notice him shaking

“Okay. Well in that case, thank you for helping me tonight. It's always more fun when I get to cook with you.” She beamed.

I can't take this anymore! This is torture! I need to. .. No! It's too soon….

“Of course, dummy. What else would I be doing?” Kyou joked as he playfully bonked her on the head with a closed fist.

Kyou finished helping Tohru with dinner. They ate together with Yuki and mostly exchanged small talk that involved asking each other how their day went and sharing things that had been happening at school. Kyou was secretly begging for Yuki to leave so he could be alone with Tohru.

But how would I even start? Where do I begin? Do I just tell her in the kitchen or do I take her somewhere romantic? What if rat boy heard? Ugh! This is so confusing….

Kyou sat there, mostly silent as he contemplated how he was going to tell her.

“Are you all done, Kyou?” Tohru asked

“Uh…um…oh yeah, sorry. Here, I'll clean up.” He responded

“Thank you so much, but I don't mind helping" Tohru said as she stood up.

Before she could walk into the kitchen, Kyou extended his arm out to stop her. He was unable to make eye contact so instead he looked at the floor as he spoke.

“Tohru…I…I need to talk to you…about something important. I was thinking. . Would it be okay for us to go and talk on the roof. You know…so we're alone? Kyou’s voice shook as he finally gathered the courage.

Tohru’s eyes widened. He could immediately tell she was surprised by his request. They’ve had conversations up on the roof before, but never any that were planned. Kyou wondered if she knew what he wanted to say.

“Of course! Let me just go and grab a sweater. You should grab one too, Kyou! It's a little chilly out tonight.”Tohru replied with a glimmer in her eyes.

Kyou suddenly felt a flutter in his chest

This is it…this is my chance!

Kyou finished cleaning up as quickly as he could. He ran to his bedroom, grabbed a warm sweater and sprayed just the smallest splash of cologne on his neck.

His heart was pounding.

He met Tohru downstairs. She was wearing an adorable pink fluffy sweater that he wanted to fall into.

Kyou smirked as his nose quickly filled with the aroma of perfume, which he knew wasn't there earlier. His confidence grew even more knowing that she was putting in the effort the way he had.

“Shall we?” Kyou asked as he extended his arm for her to hold so he could escort her outside.

Tohru giggled as she grabbed his arm “Yes, let's go.“

As they approached the front of the house,  they were suddenly startled by a loud knock at the door.

Who could that be? And at this hour?

As Kyo opened the door, his heart immediately sank.

“Yo.” A deep voice exclaimed. Despite it being so dark, Kyou immediately knew it was the voice of Hatsuharu. At the door stood Hatsuharu, Momiji, Kagura, Arisa, and Saki. They all carried small overnight bags.

“What the hell are you all doing here?! Do you not realize how late it is?!” Kyo growled. 

“We’re here to party!” Momiji shouted as he jumped up and down. Momiji grabbed Tohru by the hands. “We’re going to have so much fun this weekend, Tohru! We’ll dance and start a campfire and roast marshmallows and...ooooo maybe even watch a scary movie! This is going to be so much fun!”

Yuki came down the stairs quickly after hearing all the commotion. “What's going on?” he asked.

“We heard you guys were going to be lonely all weekend so we came to keep you company.” Said Hatsuharu with a blank stare on his face.

ALONE…. WE WERE GOING TO BE ALONE… YOU MORON!

Kyou looked at Tohru. He wondered if she could see the disappointment painted all over his face. Tohru looked back at Kyou with a big goofy smile and squeezed his arm.

She unlocked arms with Kyou and began to greet all her friends.

"Welcome everyone!" She exclaimed as she helped them with their things.