#susannah fisher

[mvltisstuff]

going, going, gone - c.f

summary: y/n’s the only person who can get conrad, and he realizes that maybe he’s been falling for the wrong conklin.

conrad fisher x conklin!reader

gif from @conradfiisher

a/n: this will likely have a part two, so it probably won’t end here!! no promises as to when pt 2 is out but it will be there eventually ;)) this is literally me wishing i could slap some sense into belly

part two

“hey,” y/n greets, stepping into the beach house and finding conrad unpacking.

“hi,” he smiles lightly. the past few months have been nearly impossible. trying to crack conrad open is like trying to break into a safe. it took y/n forever to be able to understand conrad, and now that she finally did, there was an undeniable spark. she could sense the tension in his mind, knowing that something had set him off. he looked like he just wanted to break down, but he didn’t want to. if he did, he doesn’t know how to put himself back together.

“you ok?” she asks, cautiously. he’s almost like a wild animal, get too close and he runs away. especially since susannah died, he hasn’t been able to find a connection like the one he had with his mother.

“fine,” he mumbles, folding a few blankets onto the couch and placing some pillows beside it.

“conrad, don’t play this game with me again,” y/n sighs, stepping closer to him. he pauses in his movements to look up at her, slapping one last piece of decor on the mantle. “can we at least talk about the exam?”

“i, um,” he stutters, unable to find the right words that have disappeared in his mind. it’s like he completely pushed out the exam, all the other events had forcefully taken the excitement from it. “i feel really good about it, but it’s just an exam.”

y/n can tell in his slumped stance that something is truly disturbing him. he looks broken, and whoever did it certainly failed to put the pieces back together. it appears that they didn’t even try. “talk to me, conrad. please?”

he stops, breaking eye contact. he can’t look at her while he tells her because she can’t see his face when he says it. he doesn’t want y/n to see him crack under the pressure again.

“jeremiah and belly were making out on my car when i came out of testing. i walked out and there they were.”

“what?” y/n spits out, thinking about everything belly had told her before. “i thought she said she moved on-“

“yeah, i did, too,” his voice breaks, still avoiding any looks to y/n. if y/n sees him falling apart over belly, y/n would probably say something. the last thing conrad wants is for belly to know the affect this had on him.

“conrad, you know you can talk to me, right?” she steps closer, wanting to reach out her hand to him but knowing he probably doesn’t want it. he wants belly’s. “anything you say to me won’t get back to her.”

he slightly turns, finally letting his eyes wander up y/n’s body until they meet hers. he’s always found a trust in y/n. she’s been there since they were little kids, but it’s always felt different. there was an innocence to her, she felt like home and he could always run back to her if he needed her. he wouldn’t be able to handle it if he ruined that.

“i’m just so tired, y/n. it’s just one step forward and two steps back. i thought we could finally be over this, but they both just stabbed me in the back. on my car, during my test, in my hoodie. my mom always said belly was destined for me, but it just feels like jere took that.”

y/n can feel the hurt as well as see it on conrad’s face. she’s able to read him so well now that he’s not afraid to open up. she feels like they’ve gotten through a door, a point where they can share secrets and find a safety net in the other. “belly doesn’t deserve you, conrad. she’s not as mature as you, and you can thrive without her, i swear.”

“i’ll be ok, i just need a break from all this shit,” he groans, allowing y/n to finally walk up to him and hold his hand. “i don’t know if we can go back to the way things were after this.”

“i know i can’t change what happened, but i need you to understand that you’re not alone. at this point, you come first to me.” he nods, and y/n can see the sunrise in his face a bit more, but his mind is still covered with darkness. “if you need anything, please call me or come see me, ok?”

“deal,” he cracks a little grin, making y/n smile a bit in return.

“take care of yourself, connie,” she says before opening the front door. she starts the long drive home knowing what’s waiting for her there.

she plants her stuff down on the counter, letting her body relax after the hours behind the wheel. she starts to clean up some of the mess that she left on the counter when she hears squeaky footsteps come down the stairs.

“hey, you’re back already?” belly says, lurking into the kitchen to lean against the frame. y/n doesn’t say anything, she just looks at her and continues to organize everything. “what’s wrong, why do you look like that?”

“honestly, belly, i’m just trying to figure out what to say to you.”

“what do you mean?” belly asks, trying to think about why her older sister could have a reason to be mad at her.

“i stopped at cousins on the way home,” y/n informs her, belly knowing exactly where she left conrad.

“y/n, you can’t be pissed off because of what he told you-“

“no, belly, i have every right to be pissed. i’m pissed for conrad. you left him in the dust and you have no shame about it.”

“it just happened, jeremiah and i. i never wanted to hurt conrad, but im in love!”

“yeah, you were also in love last week with conrad. and the week before with jeremiah. you need to move on from them, bell,” y/n sighs, allowing belly some time to build another response.

“who are you to even say that?”

“because i’ve been there for both of them! i was there for jeremiah when you wanted conrad. i’m there for conrad because you are playing with their hearts like they’re toys. i can tell your hearts not fully in it with jeremiah, but i’m not gonna let you destroy those boys even more.”

“how am i destroying them?”

“belly, wipe that innocence off your face. you’ve managed to rip apart the fisher brothers because you cannot pick which one you like more.”

“but-“

“no, belly! listen to me,” y/n cuts her off before she can try and make anything better. “you couldn’t even contain yourself at susannah’s funeral because you were too worried about conrad. i know we are all grieving, but you are acting like you’re more worried about which brother likes you more. it’s exhausting having to clean up the mess you make over and over again. you’re slowly ruining this bond for me, for steven, for mom! you know i love you more than words, but if you keep playing with their feelings, belly, this family is going to be destroyed.”

“y/n, susannah told me-“

“use susannah as an excuse one more fucking time, belly.” the room goes deadly silent, y/n sick of the excuses and victimized mentality of belly. when steven comes stepping quietly into the room, he ganders softly into the chaotic mess that has formed between his sisters. she swipes her keys back off the table, grabbing an extra bag out of the closet. “i’ll be back.”

“where are you going?” belly says, eyes full of tears from her fear of confrontation. her voice was shaky, and y/n could still feel a sting of guilt in her chest. she hated to build a bigger wall between everyone, but belly had to hear it.

“i’m going to look after conrad, because you failed to do it,” y/n ends their conversation, slamming the front door behind her and moving to the car. she left the house with a terrible tone, but someone else needed her more. belly had jeremiah, taylor, steven, laurel, anyone she wanted. conrad had y/n, and that became enough for him.

[ashesandhalefire]

My dad always loved Conrad better, but I had my mom. She was the only person who ever really saw me.

[ist4rgirlo]

─── 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 - 𝐜.𝐟 : 𝐈𝐈

Summary: Being Belly & Steven’s older sibling has it’s pros and cons. protecting them and taking care of them is a must, but do you really have to put their feelings first instead of your own?

Prev ; Next || Conrad Fisher x fem!reader || My blog

Warning: angst, fluff, swearing(?), smoking, conrad being a two timer. (lmk if i missed anything!)

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It was the night after me and Conrad talked. We were now in the dining room, eating the food Susannah prepared for us.

“So, I want to continue on your guys’ portraits tomorrow. Are you guys free?” Susannah smiled at us.

Susannah was almost done with our portraits. She just needed to put a little bit of touches, more color to it. We’d love to stay home and let her continue it but it was almost the end of summer, we all had our own plans.

Steven looked around the table, waiting for our answer. “Well I am free tomorrow, you can continue mine” he smiled.

I smiled at Steven and started to look around the table too. “Anyone else that’s free? it’s okay if you guys are not, it’s summer, you guys are supposed to have fun not be stuck here” Susannah reached for my hand and smiled.

“I don’t think i’ll be free tomorrow” Belly said, stopping herself from smiling. Trying to cover her mouth with her hand. That smile, I knew there was something going on. I just knew it.

Susannah and Laurel looked at her, confused while Steven looked at me like asking me if I knew what was going on. I shook my head no even though I knew.

“Wow! Belly is finally going out!” Steven teased Belly. I laughed “Shut up, Steve! Don’t tease her like that” I nudged him with my elbow and looked at Belly winking at her.

Belly smiled big, “Well whether you believe it or not, I am going on a date” she bit her lip — trying to contain her giggle.

I knew it. I knew Conrad was going to ask her anytime soon. This is what I wanted right? but why am I hurting? am I sad about it? I don’t think so.

I smiled, “So who’s the lucky guy? huh?” I asked — acting like I didn’t know, I definitely knew and Susannah knew that I knew.

Susannah who was still holding my hand, started to caress my hand. I looked at her, I nodded and smiled, as a way of saying that it was okay, that I was okay.

“Well, It’s Conrad” Belly said, trying not to giggle. My mom smiled, she looked excited, “Oh really? that’s nice!” finally, what she wanted was happening.

Steven looked at me, confused — trying to comprehend what was happening. He was confused with how Belly and Conrad happened, how it started, when it started.

“What the fuck, Conrad! Really? my sister?” Steven teased. “Hey! Don’t be like that!” my mom said glaring at Steven. Of course she’d defend them, this was something that she always saw back when we were little.

“Well, what about you Y/N? are you busy tomorrow? Jere?” Susannah said looking at us with a gentle smile.

I looked at Jeremiah, he was looking at me too, “I think i’m-“

“Me and Y/N actually got something tomorrow, Mom” Jeremiah said, cutting me off — smiling at Susannah.

I looked at Jeremiah — raising my brows at him. He just smiled and shrugged.

“What?! where are you guys going now? why am I not included in whatever this is?” Steven yelled while pointing fingers at us. I laughed at him along with Jeremiah and Belly.

“Oh come on, Steven. Let your sisters have fun without you!” my mom laughed, looking at me and Belly. Steven groaned and slumped on the chair he was sitting at, “This is not fair!!”

It was funny how he always acted like he knew everything, like he was the shit but when it comes to things like this, he acts like a child. He doesn’t like it when he feels left out.

“Well I guess it’s just you and me, Steven” Susannah smiled gently. I looked at Conrad, noticing that he was already looking at me, I looked away and turned my attention to Belly.

Belly looked back at me and smiled, I smiled back. She wanted this, this was her dream, to be with Conrad. She deserves this, she deserves to be happy. She is happy and I am happy too. That’s what matters.

───────────────────────────

After the dinner, I went up to my room and changed into my swimsuit. I decided to go for a swim, since it was something that always eased my mind.

It was such a nice night to swim, not that cold and not that hot. It was just the right temperature.

I went in and swam for a while. As I returned to the surface, I saw Conrad, smoking.

“Hey, there. Didn’t know you smoked” I tilted my head, smiling a little bit. It was the first time I saw him smoke, he never smoked.

Conrad smirked, taking a drag of his cigarette before answering me. “Well it just helps me sleep well” he shrugged.

“Yeah sure, It’ll kill you too.” I rolled my eyes and swam away from him.

This was different. Conrad was acting different, this wasn’t normal. I wanted to act like I didn’t care but I did. He’s my bestfriend too, I can’t afford to lose him.

As I returned again to the surface Conrad asked me, “Are you happy?” he titled his head, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“All of a sudden?” I asked him. I ask myself the same question, am I really happy? am I putting up a front? is whatever i’m doing right?

Conrad shrugged, “Yeah? Just wanted to ask, you seemed kinda off earlier” he looked at me in my eyes, trying to read my emotions. He always said I was an easy read, but he wondered why he can’t read me now.

I remained silent for a while — I didn’t know what the answer was because even I ask myself that. “Well we’re all complete. It’s summer, no school, no problems. I guess i’m not fully happy because of what Susannah’s going through right now but we’re all together so somehow I am happy.” I smiled gently, Conrad smiled back.

“Well I am glad you are happy because me too. I feel the same way” Conrad said, smiling at me — taking another drag of his cigarette. Looking at me while he blew the smoke out of his mouth.

I can see that he was happy but there was a glint in his eyes, I knew he wasn’t fully happy, how can he be happy when Susannah’s sick? — he made it so hard not to care for him but I knew I needed to stop this feeling, I needed to do it even if it hurts me.

I looked away from him, “So… where are you taking Belly?” I asked as I swam away from him, turning my back on him, trying to change the topic.

There was silence, I guess he didn’t want this conversation. He never expected to jump into this topic. He didn’t want to talk about this with me.

“Uhm, I’ll be taking her to her favorite restaurant and probably go to the arcade too or something” Conrad shrugged throwing his cigarette away, not really sure with his answer.

I turned, “That’s nice, Belly will absolutely love it” I smiled at him. He just looked at me with his brow furrowed,that look like I was crazy — like I was someone he didn’t know — all because he couldn’t figure it out, he couldn’t read me — it was so hard for him.

It was silent again not until Jeremiah came out of the door.

“Y/N! Go inside, it’s getting cold!” Jeremiah walked towards me with a towel in his hands. I swam all the way to the end of the pool where Jeremiah was, he lend a hand out and he helped me get out of the pool.

“Thank’s Jere” I took the towel and smiled at him gently. I wiped my face and rubbed it on my head then wrapped it around my shoulder.

I look back to check if Conrad was still there but he already stood up and started to walk inside the house.

Jeremiah looked at Conrad then looked back at me, I looked back at him, his brows furrowed, “You okay, Y/N/N?” I smiled at him and nodded, “Come on, let’s get back inside” I said — Jeremiah nodded and guided me back inside the house since I didn’t have any slippers on, we went inside the house and watched a movie with the moms.

There was a lot of things that happened today, my talk with Conrad, Conrad asking Belly out, and me and Jeremiah going out which I didn’t even know that we were, I am honestly glad that Jeremiah was there to save me. As of right now, if my sister is happy then I am happy too. As I said, that’s what matters.

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taglist : @maybankslover @urmomisafinewoman @user3729107491 @melllinaa @anthgoldenhrry @arunabrak

if you want to get tagged for the next part just let me know !! enjoy :))

[sapphiremccnlight]

THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY (2022—) 1x07: Summer Love

[taytrashmouth]

The summer I’ve waited for

Jeremiah fisher x female reader

TW: drinking, swearing.

Description: you’ve been friends with Jeremiah forever, back in Boston you are inseparable, what happens when he invites you to cousins this summer

———————————————————————

You met Jeremiah at school when you were 12, he’s always been funny and kind, he was nice to you when no one else was.

You were best friends since the first moment you met, the only thing that sucked was that he was never around for summer.

But this year, at 16 he invited you with, Susannah was so happy you were coming with, Belly would have a girlfriend and she loved you like her own.

The drive down to cousins was long, Conrad drove, Susannah scrolled through her phone in the passengers seat while you sat in the back with Jeremiah.

Your leg was bouncing up and down rapidly, what if it was awkward, what if belly didn’t like you, what if you ruined the perfect summers Jeremiah spoke of so often-

Your thoughts were broken when jere put his hand on your bouncing leg.

“Hey what’s wrong?” He frowned.

“Just nervous.” You shook your head.

“It’ll be so fun having you around, and I already know belly will love you, besides you’ll have me by your side, you’re stuck with me for three whole months.”

You couldn’t help but smile, he had no idea how much you liked him, he was the only boy you’d liked for 5 years. Spending 3 months with him sounded like heaven.

When you arrived Jeremiah showed you your room, right across from his. The house was gorgeous and the sound of the waves was magical.

You sat outside by the pool looking out at the ocean once you’d unpacked. Absolutely mesmerized.

It wasn’t until you saw Conrad, Jeremiah and Steven (you’d seen him in photos) throwing belly into the pool while she kicked and screamed.

“You guys that wasn’t funny.” Belly spoke.

“Yeah guys not cool.” You walked behind both Conrad and Jeremiah, hands around their waists. As they both turned to look at you, you pushed as hard as you could pushing them both in too.

They both yelled and you and belly laughed.

“I love her!” Belly laughed and smiled at Jeremiah, gesturing to you.

“Yeah me too.” He smiled subtly and looked down at the water, making you blush.

It was a few days later that you sat at the kitchen island waiting to watch a movie with belly and the moms that belly said something that surprised you.

“You know I’m so happy i finally got to meet you cause you’re like really cool, and because jere talks about you non-stop, he thinks you’re so smart and he tells us all these stories about you being like the coolest person.” Belly rambled.

“All good things I hope.” You chuckled, blushing slightly. “ I’m sure he doesn’t talk about me that much.”

“No there was a point I wanted to be you, and I hadn’t even seen your photo- I was like 12 but still”

You both giggled.

Summer went on, you went to parties with jere and he taught you how to play beer pong, you both sang karaoke at this tiki bar on Saturdays, he showed you all of his favorite spots in cousins. Late night drives and long walks on the beach.

Everything was perfect except you couldn’t help but feel that he loved belly…..and it hurt.

But there were moments where you allowed yourself to dream, to feel as though he liked you back.

The night by the pool when lover came on the speaker and you smiled at the sound of your favorite song.

“Let’s dance.” Jeremiah spoke. You looked up at him as he stood up and held out his hand. “You need to practice anyway.” Referring to the deb ball, belly begged you to do it with her.

You didn’t know how the hell to find a date, you only liked, and wanted one guy.

You smiled and gave him your hand. He pulled you up and held your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck and you began to sway. He spun you around slowly once or twice but soon it was just the two of you in this moment, looking into each others eyes.

“You’re a good dancer.” You whispered.

“I have a good partner.” He smiled, both of your cheeks burning.

Then there was the day you tried on your debutante dress, you looked in your bedroom mirror, only seeing the parts of yourself you hated.

That’s when Jere barged in with a smile, rambling about something Steven just did, but when you turned around he stopped dead.

“Holy shit…” he let out.

“I know-“ your voice was laced with insecurities but he didn’t let you fished before moving closer and making you spin around.

“You’re perfect.” He smiled and held your cheeks, you leaned into his touch wishing this moment would last.

Tears filled your eyes, he was healing all your wounds, damage he didn’t even cause.

“Thank you.” You smiled back.

When Taylor came out for belly’s birthday she bought belly a purple swimsuit, she had a pink one and she had bought you a dark blue one, because she knew belly liked you, and wanted you to be included.

You were insecure, people at school had bullied you your whole life, your weight fluctuated a lot and you weren’t exactly comfortable in a bikini.

When you didn’t go down to the pool after about 20mins jere came to look for you…

He found you in your bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror in your new bikini with tears running down your cheeks

“Hey hey hey, what’s wrong?” He asked with a frown, immediately pulled you into his chest.

You hugged him tightly and he stroked your hair.

“I hate it.” You chocked.

“What? What do you hate?” He held your shoulders looking at your face now.

“Me, they way I look, fuck, I look like a whale compared to them.”

Jeremiah almost laughed.

“Them? Belly and taylor?”

“Yeah and like every other girl at this stupid beach.” You cried more, but he wiped away the tears that fell.

“Turn around.” He smiled, you grumpily spun.

“Exactly what I thought, no sign of a whale…and y/n….you’re hot, don’t tell belly or Taylor I said this but you’re like way hotter than them.” He exclaimed.

You chocked a laugh.

“Really?” You frowned again.

“Definitely.” He hugged you again, and made jokes as you washed your face before following him back to the pool.

“I found her!!! She was trying to make sure she was still hotter than all of us.” He joked as you walked out the doors to the pool.

Taylor smiled, “I knew that bikini was your color, it’s literally so hot.” Belly nodded in agreement.

Steven gawked at you as you climbed into the pool and belly hit him on the head.

It wasn’t until you were walking along the beach as the sun set, a week till the deb ball and still you had no date.

“Hey!” Jeremiah called as he ran down the beach to catch up.

“Hey.” You smiled back.

You talked about a lot of things as the sun began to set.

“Still no date?” He asked.

You shook your head,

“Seriously? I don’t believe no one’s asked you.” He spoke as if you were the most precious thing that any guy would want.

You shook your head again, a few guys had asked, but you didn’t really want to go with them. So you told them no.

You continued to talk about the ball.

“Mom told Conrad to ask Belly, but I think she’ll be pissed if she finds out he didn’t actually want to ask her you know?” He spoke.

“Yeah, I’d be pissed if that happened to me.”

“That’s why I swore off these things, drama creating nonsense, I’d only make an exception for this one girl-“ he spoke slowly but you cut him off.

“Yeah, it sucks that Conrad’s taking her-“

“What?” He stopped walking.

“You like belly….don’t you?” You frowned.

He scoffed and looked off to the side.

“You’re really really dumb for someone with straight A’s, you know that?” He asked.

You frowned even more.

“I’d make an exception for you n/n….”

Your whole world stopped for a minute, looking into his ocean eyes.

“I’m just waiting for you to ask me……” he looked at his feet.

“I didn’t ask because I needed to know you wanted this, I couldn’t do it because i could never forgive myself if I screwed this up, us…” he looked back up at you.

Your heart was pounding, your head was exploding and your stomach erupted with butterflies.

“Will you go to the ball with me Jere?” You smiled.

He sighed with relief and smiled the biggest you e ever seen.

“Fuck yes!!!!” He wrapped his arms around you and spun you in the air before putting you down.

You laughed, feeling on top of the world.

“You sure about this?” He asked looking down at you.

“It’s been five years of crushing, I’m sure.” You joked.

“Good because I really want to kiss you.” He smiled.

He leaned in and your lips met, it was like two pieces of a puzzle. So passionate yet soft. This was the summer you’d always wanted, the summer you waited for.

As you broke apart for air you both smiled and entangled your hands, and you walked home in the dark, waves crashing against your ankles.

“I liked you before we were even friends you know.” Jeremiah spoke up.

“What?”

“Yeah, I saw you in the hallway one day and I knew, that the pretty girl by locker 34 was going to be my wife one day.”

You smiled, and laughed with him, as you swing your hands back and forth.

“Really? I still had braces….why me?” You asked with a frown.

“Because I love you, you idiot!” He yelled, he turned and kissed you for the second time that night. You smiled into the kiss, and the waves crashed into your calves.

“I love you too…I always have.” You told him. “And I’m not sure about ‘wife’ just yet, but I’m just waiting for you to ask me..” you quoted his words from earlier.

He smiled and got down on one knee, his shorts were wet and your dress was blowing in the wind. You threw your head back in a smile.

“Y/n l/n, will you make me the happiest golden retriever and be my girlfriend,”

“Fuck yes!!!!”

He got up and you held onto each other like it was the last time you’d hug.

When you arrived back at the house, he dragged you up to his room, rummaging in his drawer to find something.

“I uh- I got this for your birthday last year, but I chickened out of giving it to you because I though it might overstep a boundary or something.” He explained as he sat next to you on his bed and handed you a box.

You carefully took off the lid and revealed a sliver locket, the letter J engraved on the front, you opened it up and on the left was a picture on Jeremiah giving you a piggy back ride, both of you smiling so widely. And on the right the lyrics ‘at every table I’ll save you a seat’ were engraved in cursive.

You closed the locket and stared at the J, then at him, tears in your eyes.

“Because I really know you.” He pointed at his initial.

You smiled, tears falling.

“I love you, you’re perfect.” You smiled, looking at his beautiful eyes, and smile, thinking of how thoughtful he was, how kind, how funny, he was yours, and you were his.

He helped you out the necklace on, and you never took it off

[humblequestvinyl]

the view between villages

THE VIEW BETWEEN VILLAGES, FISHER BROTHERS X SISTER!READER

APART OF THE ‘WE’LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER’ SERIES

SUMMARY: after the death of her mother, the youngest fisher takes a drive away from the chaos, leaving her back in cousin’s, where for the first time in six weeks, everything’s still.

inspired by the view between villages by noah kahan.

◀ ⏸ ▶

lowercase intentional! wc: 1.5k

warnings: swearing, cancer, death of a loved one,grief, really really bad eating habits (please be cautious!) mentions of insomnia (?), breakdown, the summer i turned pretty spoilers!!!!! 

a/n: noah kahan’s deluxe album of stick season came out and here we are.psa, i’m declaring cousins is in MA lol & im projecting some of my grief into here as well so pls enjoy!!

GRABBING HER KEYS OFF OF THE SIDE OF HER BEDROOM TABLE,

y/n fisher snuck down the stairs of her house, with the only sound echoing off the walls were her keys jingling as she made her way out, and the door locking behind her.

as she made her way out, she saw her car sitting in the same spot it had been for the past six days.

slowly opening the door to the 98 mustang, y/n got in, before turning the key, and the opening notes to marjorie by taylor swift had started to play. quickly shutting off her radio, the girl took in a shaky breath, trying to keep her composure until she got to her destination.

deciding to hit shuffle on her playlist, y/n gripped the wheel hard before putting the car in reverse, and backing out of her driveway in cambridge massachusetts.

it would take her an hour to get to where she needed to go, but the way she was going, it would take less than that. she was determined to get there as fast as she could, and as quickly as she could away from the house she used to call home.

six weeks, 4 days, and 25 minutes since she last had her mother here. 1,104 hours since she didn’t feel numbness, since she didn’t have blinding rage that turned her into a person she despised. 

46 days since the glue that held her family together came unstuck, and it all fell apart.

ever since susannah fisher had died, the youngest fisher hadn’t been the same.

grief had made her shut down, bursting at the seams with seething rage. the fisher that was known as the kindest girl in cambridge had become inconsolable, angry and resentful towards everyone around her.

she had shut out everyone who tried to get in. her best friend, belly and steven who had tried to call right after susannah had passed, and both of her brothers no matter how hard they both tried.

she was on her own, and it was her own doing. y/n knew it, her best friend grace knew it, hell- her own father who she barely acknowledged knew it.

y/n had always heard that grief changed people, it turned them into people that had been hiding deep down, under anger, sadness, resentment and agony. she never once believed it because she had never seen it. too young, too naive, and too joyful to believe that someone could change that fast at the drop of a hat.

she didn’t believe it until she became that person herself.

resentful, depressed, and in so much agony it caused her physical pain.

y/n could feel the same pain filling her as she cross the sagamore bridge, and soon enough, she was pulling into the same driveway she had left less than a year ago, except back then she had her mother right by her side, in the passenger seat as they drove back home.

exiting the car, she saw the house known as ‘beck’s house’ the same way the fisher’s had left it the summer before. with the flowers they had planted now shriveled up and dead, describing the way y/n felt.

she grabbed the blanket she always kept in the back of the car before making her way down towards the beach, with the sun barely above the horizon. purple, pink and blue painted the sky as the 16 year old wrapped herself tightly in the blanket, reminding her of her mother.

y/n couldn’t escape it. everywhere she went she saw her mother. the starbucks they would stop at everyday her freshman year, the bakery they went to every friday, and even driving the car that was once her mom’s.

everywhere she went, y/n saw susannah fisher.

it made her angry. it made her absolutely furious that everyone else could go on with their lives, with both of their parents and their families happy and joyful. it made her furious that she wouldn’t have her mom there to give her tips on how to do her makeup, to see her off to college, and she wouldn’t be able to have her mom see her in a white gown, walking down the isle as she got married.

everyone else but y/n fisher would be able to experience that.

hot angry tears started to roll down y/n’s fiery cheeks that were filled with rage, and her fists balled up, her short nails digging into her skin as she tried to watch the sunrise, but she couldn’t.

the longer she sat there, the angrier she got, before she finally ripped off her blanket, and stood up.

she looked towards the flower bed her mother always kept towards the beach, with decorative rocks holding them down, before grabbing as many as she could and tossing them into the ocean one at a time, each representing the innocence, and opportunities she had lost.

y/n watched as they sunk into the ocean, representing the sinking feeling she couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard she tried, until her hands were empty, but the agony she felt was still there.

and no matter how hard the youngest fisher tried, it continued to rise until she couldn’t take it anymore.

a scream erupted from her lips as she heard footsteps quickly approaching her, but she refused to see who it was. y/n hands shook as she searched the sand for more rocks, or even sea-shells until she found one, and chucked it as hard as she could into the ocean.

the h/c girl stopped in her position as conrad stood in front of her, stopping her from searching for more things to throw. she could see jeremiah right on the side of conrad, and the concern on their faces scared her.

it was at that moment, she felt the bottle that held all of her grief, shattered.

the hot angry tears turned into agonizing sobs, ones she couldn’t hold off any longer. for the first time since her mothers death, y/n had broke.

she felt conrad's arms wrap around her as her sobs became louder and louder, and jeremiah soon joined in, both fisher boys not realizing how bad y/n had been. grief had slowly been consuming her, and neither of them had seen it.

they both knew she hadn’t been sleeping, and the only thing they ever saw her eating or drinking was the starbucks drink she always had in her hand. the entire family was so wrapped up in their grief, they never saw how bad everyone actually was.

the fisher siblings stood there for a long time, before y/n’s tears had become silent, and y/n and conrad sat there, watching the ocean as jeremiah had run to grab the three’s breakfast from the front porch.

“how long have you been this angry?”conrad questioned as he looked over at the girl, finally taking notice of how bad she looked. she had purple bags under her eyes, and had lost so much weight that to conrad, his little sister had almost become unrecognizable. 

“almost two months.”y/n whispered as jeremiah had come back, with two starbucks bags in his hands for the fisher siblings. conrad stared at the girl as jer gave everyone their items, and y/n took a drink of her refresher, trying to avoid her brothers looks.

“why didn’t you say anything?”jer asked softly, watching as his baby sisters hands shook, and she kept silent for a few moments before finally speaking up.

“sometimes in my mind, the best thing to do is to bottle everything up and wait until i shatter.”the h/c girl explained, sniffing before she took another sip of her drink, “plus i’m not the only one grieving, you two have been as well and i didn’t want to put that on you.”

the fisher brothers shared a look, now knowing how bad things had really gotten for the girl without them realizing it. “when was the last time you slept or ate?”conrad questioned, and y/n shrugged, not really knowing how to answer the question that was presented in front of her.

“i usually try to sleep during the day. everything keeps me up at night.”she whispered, before jeremiah hugged her from the side, leaving the three siblings in silence, except for the waves crashing against the shoreline.

the fisher siblings were back in cousin’s, and everything had stilled. 

[conradfiisher]

Nothing feels better than summer. 

[dumblilb]

SUMMERTIME SADNESS

Jeremiah Fisher x Fem!Reader

(Summary: ~ Think I'll miss you forever. Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky ~

No place in the world ever felt more like home to Y/n Rowe than Cousins beach. Sure it was a beautiful place, but it was more to do with the people. Her and her mother spent every summer since she was brought home with the Fishers and the Conklins. It was her favorite time of year.

But this year felt different. Everything felt more intense. She was finally comfortable in her skin. And that meant maybe, just maybe, Jeremiah Fisher might actually notice her.)

(Warnings: none for this chapter besides some underage drinking and insecure thoughts)

(Words: 4074)

* ・゚☆ 。・ * ・゚★ 。・ * ・゚☆ * ・゚☆ 。

Chapter 1:

I loved cousins beach. Maybe even more than home. But then again it never feels quite like home without the fishers and the conklins. Me and my mother have been staying with them at cousins beach since before I could remember. It was my favorite part of the year. It suck’s being so far from your best friends. So the months between June and august we have to make the most of it. Me and belly would call sporadically throughout the school year but the weeks leading up to cousins whe faced times every single night. Planning outfits and talking about what we would do all summer.

And well, the fisher boys. It was painfully obvious how much belly liked Conrad. I remember the day I squeezed the information out of her. Literally. We were in her room two summers ago and it was late. We had been messing around playing dress up in some clothes I stole from my mom when I bring it up.

“Belly I swear I know who you like.”

“No you don’t.” She says looking in the floor length mirror giggling.

“Yes I do.” I say jumping to her shoulders with a hug. She squealed

As we fell to the bed.

“Who then?” She laughs squinting her eyes.

“CONRA-“ I say loudly before she puts her hands over my mouth.

“STOP! Be quiet.” She whispers eyeing the door hoping the boy didn’t her me from down the hall.

“I knew it.” I say muffled from under her fingers. I wrap my arms around her squeezing her in a big hug causing her to let my mouth go.

“That’s so cute! I knew it!” I smile. She just rolls her eyes with a big blush across her cheeks.

“Fine, fine. I like conrad. But you can’t tell anyone.” She said looking me dead in the eyes.

“Pinky promise.” I grin softly.

“Pinky promise.” She says wrapping hers around mine.

“Plus I promise not to tell anyone you like Jeremiah.” She giggles causing a loud gasp to leave my lips.

Sitting in the car on the way to cousins always brings up memories like that. Maybe it’s the nerves that get built up to see him. Would he notice me that way this summer? Did he look better than the year before? It always clouded my mind on the road there. But then we would hit this place in the road where you could smell the sea so strong it would all fade away. And the excitement would flow back in.

We finally pull up to the house and I see Jeremiah and a soaking wet belly run out the door.

“Y/n!” Belly yells jumping into my arms. Getting me slightly wet in the process.

“Hi bells.” I muse with a wide smile.

“I missed the belly flop didn’t I?” I laugh and Jeremiah chuckles walking up to us.

“Oh yeah you did. But this time she got Conrad back.” He says and belly moves to the side letting him get a hug in.

“Missed you n/n.” He says squeezing me tight spinning us around.

“I missed you too Jere.” I say letting go. The feeling on his hands moving themselves from my waist to his sides making my cheeks heat up. Belly just smiles knowingly and then they both greet my mom, helping her with her bags. I start to get mine out when Susannah, Laurel, Steven, and Conrad walk outside.

“My beautiful girl. Look at you!” Susannah smiles as she walks up to me pilling me up in a warm hug. Sometimes the only thing in the world that can make me feel better is a hug from Susannah. She has this was of making you believe everything will be okay.

“I missed you so much.” I say holding her tight.

“My turn, my turn!” Laurel says and Susannah lets her get a hug.

“Ugh I’m so excited to be here with you guys.” I say and she pulls away fixing my hair.

“It’s so good to see you.” She smiles and they both turn to my mom. They all smile and embrace each other. It makes me wonder if us kids will be like them when we’re older. But I’m brought out of thought when I feel a hand aggressively messing up my hair.

“Hi Steven.” I say rolling my eyes.

“You know I’m gonna get pay back for last summer right.” He says with a glare that doesn’t reach the giant smile on his lips.

“Oh yeah I bet.” I smirk. Every summer me and Steven have a little prank war. Last year me and belly stole all of his clothes while he was in the shower and dumped them in the pool. The moms made us do laundry for a week after. But it was worth it.

He goes to say hi to my mom and Conrad comes up.

“You got taller.” He smiles.

“You didn’t.” I say smiling back causing him to laugh.

“Yeah yeah okay, I’m gonna got say hi to the nicer Rowe, before I’m all Rowe-ed out for the day.” He jokes and belly comes up to me.

“Let’s get your bags inside. I wanna get you all unpacked so we can hang out.” She says dragging me to the trunk of the car. We grab everything and head up to my room.

The light blue patterned wallpaper brings this sensation of calm everyone I walk in. It feels serene. My room back home is covered in posters, but here, here was a clean slate for my mind to breathe in every year.

Belly puts my bags on the bed and I open them up starting to unpack my clothes her putting away my makeup stuff.

“God I love all your makeup stuff it’s so pretty. I need to get better at it before I can go all out like this.” She smiles as I put a few shirts in the drawer.

“I’ll teach you don’t worry. Plus you’re so beautiful already makeup for you should just be fun.” I remark. She looks up at me with a blush.

“You’re just saying that.” She scoffs.

“No I’m serious bells. You’ve always had beauty don’t get me wrong, but you had a glow up this year.” I reassure and her smile grows.

“Well you’ve gotten more beautiful too. You just seem so comfortable in your skin this summer.” She says back. Nudging me with her hip.

I just thank her. She was half right. I definitely feel more confident in my self. But I’ll always feel insecure in this town. All the pretty girls on the beach will never fail to make me self conscious about what should be my so called ‘bikini body’. Or not being able to wear makeup to the beach when I’m having a breakout. But I’ve learned to ignore those thoughts as well as I can.

I’m a year older than belly. And I always feel like I have to hide those thoughts from her. Be a good example. She doesn’t need to find insecurities in herself because I’m complaining about mine.

“Hey let’s go to my room real quick I want to change out of these wet clothes.” She giggles pulling me out of thought.

“Oh yeah duh, let’s go.” I smile. “I wanna pick out your outfit though.” I smirk and she sighs.

“You’re so extra about this stuff.” She complains and I just laugh.

“I got a passion for fashion, what can I say.”

“Did you just quote bratz.” She giggles as I go through her drawers.

“And what if I did.” I smirk.

“You’re so-“ she starts to say when the door slams open.

“Hello ladies.” Jeremiah says jumping on belly’s bed.

“She could have been changing you dork.” I say throwing a pillow at him.

“You guys always lock the door when you change. I know you.” He says throwing the pillow.

“But anyways both of you do need to change. I’ve been waiting all day to go to the beach with you guys.”

“I- uh, told my mom me and y/n would go to whale of a tale.” She says and Jeremiah grabs junior mint making a sad face.”

“Please come swimming with me.” He says in this stupid baby voice.

“-I think she can go by herself.” Belly says and me and Jere share a big smile.

“YAY!” He exclaims getting up off the bed. He grabs my wrist pulling me to my room. Before I can say he shuts the door with me in it.

“Both of you go change!” He says and runs downstairs.

I pull out a bathing suit and head downstairs with my towel meeting Jere and belling in the back.

“Ready?” I ask and he turns to me. God his eyes were blue. They had a tack for making me forget what I was thinking about when I started speaking to him. They both say yes and we start walking but the whole walk all I could think of was how he got tanner this summer. And his hair looked fluffier than last. He had gotten taller too. He had to look down a little to make eye contacts. Which made my heart flutter.

“Hey. Did you know my dad's coming up for the Fourth?” Says belly making us look at her.

“Cool.” Jeremiah smiles.

“Yeah that’s great.” I say doing the same.

“Don't you think it's weird?” She asks.

“Not really. I love your dad.” Jere adds.

“Yeah, but they've only been divorced for, like, a year and a half.” She sighs.

“Well, that's what's so cool about your mom, you know? She just doesn't give a shit.” He says.

“Exactly. She doesn't give a sh¡t because she's the one who wanted the divorce in the first place.” She continues.

“Forever grateful I’m adopted. I never have to deal with men. It sounds exhausting.” I giggle and they both join in.

“I think if you don't want to be married, you just shouldn't be married.” Jere says and I nod.

“It’s better for everyone involved.”

“Well, tell that to my grandma. She basically collapsed when my mom told her. Did you know my dad has a new girlfriend already?” She chuckles.

“Well, what about your mom? Is she dating anybody?” Jere asks.

“No. Oh, and he has a beard now.” She laughs.

“Oh yeah?” I say.

“Your dad has a beard?” Jere says with a confused face.

“Yeah. He thinks it makes him look cool.” She sighs.

“Well, does it?” I ask.

“Kind of.” She snorts.

“I've waited all year for this.” I say loudly as we get to the water.

“You want to race?” Jere asks us.

“No, no, I can't, you...” belly starts to say then runs towards the water leaving us behind.

“Oh that is just not fair.” I say and start running too.

“Oh, come on. Wait up!” Jere yells and chases us. He quickly catches up to me grabbing me and spinning me around.

“If I can’t be first I’ll be second.” He smiles. “SORRY N/N” he continues and bolts for the water. I just kinda stand there for a second in a daze. The heat from his body goes just as quickly as it came leaving me in shock. I’ve always had a crush on the younger fisher brother. But for some reasons this year it felt stronger. Maybe it’s because I finally feel pretty enough in my own skin. Maybe he’ll notice me.

Jeremiah fisher is the biggest flirt in cousins. He’s had multiple summer flings for the past few years. But I don’t want to be that. I don’t want to be someone he forgets about in the fall. And maybe being friends is the only way that can happen. But a girl can dream.

We all head back to the house for dinner. Getting changed into dry clothes and seated at the table.

“Steven, I swear to God, if you look at that phone one more time, I'm putting it in the screen basket.” Laurel says scolding her oldest child.

“It's just, we want to see your beautiful faces. Can dinner be a screen-free zone? You know, like the olden days.” Susannah smiles with a small chuckle at her own joke.

“Steven.” Laurel repeats. Jeremiah takes his phone from his hands and throws it into the basket.

“Dude, are you kidding me?” Steven exclaims.

“Boom! Nailed it.” Jere says flexing.

“Okay, okay, okay, we get it, you've been working out.” Steven complains.

“Oh, you're just jealous because Jere has a better body than you.” I say nonchalant but quickly look up to see Jere looking at me with a pleasantly surprised look on his face.

“Thank you n/n. You’re pretty bodacious yourself.” He says quoting ‘bill and teds excellent adventure.’ I made him watch it with me last year and he hasn’t stopped sending me stupid texts quoting it since. I just roll my eyes with a small smile, saying thank you.

“Uh, no, actually, it's all about the lean look now. Otherwise, you can't wear tailored suits.” Steven defends.

“Sure, sure.” Belly says.

“Tailored suits.” Conrad laughs.

“When are you leaving for training camp, man?” Steven asks him.

“Uh, he quit football.” Jere says.

“Wh... Wait, really? You quit?” Steven asks.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Are you kidding me, man? I'd-I'd kill to play college ball.” Steven continues.

“He can always change his mind.” Susannah butts in.

“I'm not gonna change my mind. I was just gonna sit on the bench all season anyways.” Conrad says getting annoyed.

“Well, if you're not playing football anymore, what are you gonna do all summer?” Belly asks.

“Oh, dude, you can work at the club. with me and Jere.” Steven says.

“Yeah. I'm not gonna work at the club.” Conrad scoffs.

“Wait, you guys are working this summer?” I ask.

“Yeah, I'm lifeguarding, and Steven's working at the snack shop.” Jere says doing a lil hand shake with Steven.

“Oh, Belly, Y/n, I almost forgot. I have a surprise for you.” Susannah says taking out two white invitations.

“So, this is why you had to stop by the country club.” My mom says. And Laurel shakes her head.

“I wrangled Belly and y/n an invitation to be a debutante.” Susannah exclaims.

“Is that the thing where the girls wear white dresses and curtsy?” Belly asks.

“It's when a girl comes of age and is presented to society. I-I know it sounds silly, but I swear it's fun. Girls come from all over New England to Cousins just to be a part of it. You'll make so many new friends.” Susannah defends.

“I cannot believe you are still holding on to this archaic dream.” My mom laughs.

“No, it used to be about finding a husband, but now it's about networking. They teach you leadership skills, like how to market yourself, and it benefits charity. It's, um, like a bat mitzvah.” Susannah continues.

“It is not like a bat mitzvah. There is nothing religious about a debutante ball.” Laurel scoffs.

“The whole deb scene is bullshit. It's for sheep.” Conrad says.

“No, it's not. It's when a girl has a coming out, it's a formal recognition she's reached maturity.” Susannah continues.

“Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Mature?” Steven says surprised.

“Yes.”

“Belly and Y/n?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“A-a couple months ago you had a cat funeral. You made us all wear black.” Steven exclaims flabbergasted.

“Shut up, Steven. I saw you crying in your room.” Belly recoils.

“Wait, Mochi died? Dang. I'm sorry, Bells.” Jere says a sympathetic expression taking his features.

“Girls. Don't you want to get all dressed up?” Susannah asks hopeful.

“It's just not Belly's kind of thing. She's our feral little alley cat.” Laurel says. My mom already knows I’ll say yes. I like dressing up. Meeting new people isn’t my favorite thing but if it’s with belly I’ll do it.

Belly looks to me and I smile softly causing her to do the same and look back to Susannah.

“I'll think about it.” She says.

“She'll think about it.” Says Susannah to Laurel happily.

We finish up dinner and I head up to my room. After a few minutes I hear a knock at my door. Jere cracks it open and I invite him in.

“Hey, there’s a bonfire tonight. I already asked your mom and she said you could go. Get dressed.” He says flopping down on my bed next to me.

“What my pajamas aren’t bonfire ready enough for you.” I say turning to him.

“They are, but I know you. Go pick out a cute little outfit. And let’s go.” He says booping my nose and walking out of my room.

Sometimes I hate how right he is.

I pick out a dress and put on my leather jacket. It gets cold at the beach during the night. I slide on my shoes and head to the door to the back yard.

“Ooo y/n give us a twirl.” Jeremiah says with a smile as I walk up and I laugh doing a small 360 for him and Steven.

“Okay let’s go!” Steven says and we walk out the back door.

“First bonfire of the summer!” jere says loudly.

“All right, we're totally taking my car. You're not driving.” Jere says pointing to steven.

“Come on, man, we're leaving. You ready?” Steven says to Conrad who is sitting at the edge of the pool talking to belly.

“Can I come, too?” She asks.

“Uh, no. The moms are getting everything set up for your movie night.” Steven says.

“See you. Let's go, slowpoke. Have fun with the moms!” Jere says.

“Hey why can’t belly come?” I ask but the boys start walking away.

“Come on y/n.” They say not stopping.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take you out a different night. Just us girls.” I say to belly heading to the car.

We get to the bonfire and I thought I would be hanging out with them but they all dispersed and left me alone. Steven is flirting with this girl and Conrad is already making out with someone. Jere has a group of like four people fawning over his attention. I’m not a big drinker so I just kinda chill by the fire. Till I decide to go walk closer to the water. I needed to get the sight of Jeremiah flirting with other people out of my head.

I loved the ocean. Well. To be honest I loved the shore. The part of the water that you can still see your feet in when you look down.

The first time I realized I liked Jeremiah we were sitting on the shore. We were 12 and we sat covered in wet sand digging for sand crabs. He had found one and told me to put my hands out. He put it and a small pile of sand onto my palms and put his forehead to mine to block the sun. We sat there and watched it dig around. Legs crisscross and knees together. His eyes met mine for a second and he had the biggest smile of his face. That was the first moment I understood what people meant when they said they got butterflies in their stomachs.

I shook the memory out of my head and started walking back to the bonfire. It was getting too cold. When I got there though I saw belly. And she was talking with some guy. They looked cute together so I just left them alone. Till I hear Conrad fighting with some guy.

“What's your problem, man?”

“It's one beer. It's a party. Relax.”

“No, give me my beer back. I paid for this.”

“Stop, stop. You're drunk. Just give him the beer.” The girl Conrad was with says.

“Maybe you should listen to your lady.”

“Stop. You're drunk.”

“No. I'm fine. I'm fine. Give me the beer back.” Conrad argues.

“You guys, you guys, you guys.” Belly says walking up to them just as it’s about to get physical. She gets elbowed in the face by the guy Conrad was arguing with.

“Belly.” Conrad says concerned.

“Guys. What the hell.” I say running to help belly up.

“What the fսck is wrong with you?” Conrad says to the guy.

“Are you okay?” Jere says coming up to belly.

“Come on, big man, come on.“ the guy says still egging Conrad on.

“Quit being a dick.” I yell at the guy.

“COPS!” Some kid yells and lights start flashing. We all run to the jeep and climb in. I look around and notice I dropped my phone.

“Fuck I lost my phone I’ll be right back.” I say.

“I’ll help you look.” Jere says.

We trace back our steps and find it.

“Shit this thing is gonna be full of sand for weeks.” I complain and he laughs.

“It’ll be fine don’t worry about it- hey is that Steven?” He asks and we look over.

“Steven hurry up!” I yell and he runs over.

“Sorry I was saying goodbye.”

“Oooh Steven got a girlfriend-“ I start to say goofing around with him till we get to the jeep and see the cops talking to belly and Conrad. Fuck.

We get escorted home and Laurel takes care of it.

“Officers, thank you. It won't happen again, I can promise you that much.”she says.

“Tell Mr. Fisher the chief wants to set up a tee time when he gets back in town.” The officer says.

“Absolutely. Sorry again for all the trouble. Have a good night, Officers.” Laurel says and shuts the door turning to us with disappointed look.

“How could you guys be so irresponsible?”

“Mom, it wasn't a big deal. All right?” Belly says.

“Seriously. The cops were just looking to break up the bonfire.” Steven says.

“Not a big deal? Yes. I would say getting picked up by the cops for underage drinking is a pretty big deal, Steven.” She says letting out a scoff.

“Were-were you guys, you guys smoking tonight?” Conrad asks and my jaw drops. Why is he being such a douchebag.

“What? Keep your voice down. Susannah and Kate are asleep on the couch.” Laurel says panicked.

“Well, I wasn't yelling.” He continues.

“Well, you-you-you were.”

“Just so you know, Laurel, I-I didn't drink tonight. I was the DD, I swear.” Jere reassured her. But she doesn’t care.

“You're the oldest. What the hell's gotten into you?” She says to Conrad.

“And when did you leave the house without telling anybody? And what in the world are you wearing?” She says looking to belly.

“It's Taylor's. And why am I the only one who's not allowed to go out?” She asks.

“It's not that you're not allowed, it's that you should have told us you were going. How did you even get there?” Laur says concerned.

“I walked.”

“Jesus. You know better than to walk that far down the beach alone late at night.”

“Can you stop treating me like a kid?” Belly pleads.

“If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to act like one.”

“Then maybe you guys should, too.” Conrad says digging himself in deeper.

“What does that mean? I hope you realize this night could have ended a lot differently if your family wasn't your family.” She says to the boys.

“We're sorry, Laur.” I say.

“Just... go to bed, guys.” She says sighing and we all walk upstairs.

Im about to get ready for bed when I feel arms wrap around me from the back.

“Jere go to bed.” I say shaking my head.

“Im so happy you’re here.” He says letting go and I smile.

“Why.”

“Cause me and you are doing another movie night soon.” He says.

“Oh yeah?” I questions.

“Yeah and it’s my turn to pick.” He says. “Be prepared to be stollen from belly one of these nights.” He continues and leaves the room only to crack the door open one last time.

“Good night n/n.”

“Good night Jere.” I say and he shuts the door.

I get ready for bed and climb under the covers. As I’m falling asleep all I can think about is his arms wrapped around me.

This summer was going to be great.

[kierreras]

susannah x laurel & conrad x belly parallel ↳ requested by anonymous THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY s1e01 “summer house” // s2e07 “love affair”

[v1olentdelights]

On The Nights You Can't Sleep

Conrad Fisher x sister!reader TW: Nothing Summary: On the nights you couldn't sleep, Conrad would always be there for you. a/n: this was requested from a wonderful anon, I really hope they like this, and you too! Let me know what you think!

It had been one of the first nights you all had been in the same house again, Conrad having come home for fall break. Everyone had retired to their bedrooms after dinner. It seemed that they had all gone to sleep, or at least Jeremiah had; you could hear his snores from his room across the hall. Yet you found yourself wide awake but you were unsure of why. So you decided to head downstairs for a bit, maybe different scenery would help you. Unbeknownst to you, Jeremiah and Susannah had been the only one’s asleep.

Making your way down the stairs, you make sure to avoid the squeaky stair, the second to last step before the ground floor. Pulling out one of those cozy blankets Laurel gets you every Christmas you turn on the tv and crowd yourself with pillows. There is no noise in the house and it seems almost like you are playing a part in a movie.

“What are you doing up, bug?” You whip your head around to see Conrad looking down at you in his lighthouse patterned pajama pants and Stanford sweatshirt. 

“I just can’t sleep, it’ll pass.” You give him a small smile in hopes that he just passes it off. But a small part of you is begging him to stay, just like he used to. It quickly died as you watched him make his way over to the kitchen, away from you. The quiet patter of his feet and the sound of the fridge opening is familiar, and it brings a faint smile to your face. He’s beside you once again, though this time he is taking a seat beside you as he holds out a cup of milk for you to take. 

“It helped when you were younger.” You didn’t reach out to take it, because you had neglected to tell him for years that you didn’t like milk, but he always got it for you. 

The tired look in his eyes had you giving in just like you used to. But as you suspected, not only did it make you want to spit it up, it also did not help tire you. At this point he had reclined into the couch watching whatever was playing on the tv. Setting the glass down, you moved closer to him and rested your head on his shoulder. He moved his arm to hold you across your shoulder. 

“Still not tired?” you shook your head. Sitting up slightly, Conrad drags you wrapped up in your blanket with him out the front door. Unlocking and opening the passenger side door for you he then gets in on his side. He turns on the heat and some instrumental Taylor Swift music clicks on, he must have been listening to it as he was driving down. You leaned your head against the window as he pulled out of the driveway. Soon after getting in the car you could feel yourself start to drift. 

“Thank you, Con.” you said before fading into a peaceful sleep. 

— — —

Lifting you up was as easy as it had been when you were 8. Though he was thankful you had left your bed unmade, a bad habit you had yet to break, because it made it easy for him to tuck you in.

“I missed you, bug. Sweet dreams.” He says before pressing a kiss to your forehead. Hearing a little gasp he turned to see his mom holding a hand over her heart with tears in her eyes. 

After making their way out into the hall she pulled him in for a hug. 

“You know, she would always go to you. Never me, or your dad, or even Jere. When she was upset, sad, or hurt, she would go to you. On the nights she couldn’t sleep she would find her way into your bed, and you would hold her close.” It was like it was all flashing by again. 

— 

Hearing your distressed little voice after the rather loud bout of thunder got Susannah's attention. 

“Coco,” you called out to your older brother. His door creaked as you swung it open. Susannah had quietly made her way down the hall to make sure you were okay. Though as she peered into her eldest son’s room, her heart clenched at the sight. You had made your way into his bed, and he had wrapped you in a hug. 

“It’s okay, bug. I’ll protect you. Always.” You just squished closer to him and held onto your stuffed animal tighter.

—

On the nights you couldn't sleep you would think back to this night.

[taylorsv3rsion13]

we never go out of style || c.f.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

words : 3.0k

synopsis : things were always rocky for conrad and you. after the whole break up, will everything be the same the year later? or will it all turn to shit.

(belly and cam cameron are a thing in this series btw)

The Fourth of July for me was one of my favorite holidays. It's a tradition in Cousins. Susannah decorates the whole house, the dad's come up for the weekend, the boys shoot off fireworks, and most importantly, I get to see my mom.

Usually I was just here, following after the boys with Belly. But this year, I feel like I'm apart of the plans. I have friends.

I finished eating the rest of my cereal.

"Can I have your milk?" Jeremiah said from beside me.

"Yeah. You and your weird obsession with milk." I laughed a little.

I watched as he chugged down the rest of the milk in my bowl/

Conrad walked into the kitchen, "Yo, I'm gonna go wash off the clams. Did you get the lighter fluid?"

"Mm! Yeahh, it's already on the beach." Jeremiah said, a milk mustache on his face.

Conrad whistled in response.

Steven and Susannah came in, Steven wearing a nice dress shirt and Susannah wearing her overalls and t-shirts.

"Are we done with the portrait?" Steven asked.

"Yeah, for today." Susannah smiled.

This year she was painting portraits of all of us. She used to paint them when we were younger, but then we all stopped.

"But you do look good in a dress shirt, Steven." Susannah complimented. "Oh! Which makes me think. If Belly doesn't hurry up and ask Cam to the ball, you should take her."

"Ew. No way." Belly exclaimed from beside me.

"No, no, no, yeah, yeah, I'm already going with Shayla." Steven added.

"To the debutante ball?" Laurel asked as she walked in, holding a batch of towels.

"Yes." Steven said laughing a little.

"As an escort?" Laurel asked.

"Yes mom. Shayla's coming today with Nicole and Gigi, so you'll meet her." Steven said.

"That's wonderful." Susannah smiled. "Oh and girls, don't forget that Ms. Covington's first rehearsal is tomorrow, so uh, tick-tock. I'm not as worried for Belly, but Y/N, you haven't found anyone."

"I know, I know, I'll get to it." I said to Susannah, smiling.

"Yes, and I'm asking Cam today." Belly said.

"Suddenly, I don't know any of these kids anymore." Laurel exclaimed.

I looked at Laurel, squinting my eyes a little, "Wait are you wearing makeup?"

"Yeah, she's wearing makeup." Steven said.

"Oh, my god. She definitely is!" Susannah squealed.

"So What? We're having a party." Laurel said.

"Mhm." I nodded, winking at her. "Anywho, I'm going to go finish getting ready."

From the window of my room, I could see Conrad, shirtless as he was cleaning the clams.

I put on a semi sheer mesh crop top that was red, and a pair of blue jean shorts. I had also added in a white bow in my hair.

I walked downstairs, Laurel making eye contact with me.

Susannah pushed past her though, "Oh my god, look at how gorgeous she looks!"

"Oh Belly, I need you to make up the guest bed." Laurel said to Belly.

"It's okay, I'll make the bed this year. I know Belly's getting ready for Cam." I winked

"Wait, Dad and Victoria are staying here?" Belly asked.

Laurel just gave her a stern look.

"In the room next to mine?" Belly whined.

"Yeah." Laurel smiled, as Belly groaned making us laugh.

Susannah jumped up, "Oh, speaking of dads, yours called. He's closing a deal, so... he can't come."

Jeremiah looked at Susannah blankly, "What?"

The back door closed and Conrad came in, "Did you say Dad's not coming?"

"Mhm." Susannah said.

"But I got some serious fireworks for the show this year." Conrad said.

Susannah shrugged, "We'll take a video."

"It's not the same." Jeremiah mumbled.

Conrad leaned against the kitchen sink, smiling and staring into nothing.

"What are you so smiley about?" I asked, smirking at him.

"No reason." He smiled back.

I took out a flat white sheet, throwing it up into the air and watching as it fell down onto the mattress.

I heard a laugh from the door and Conrad stood there, watching as I put the sheet on the bed, "You have to fold the bottom sheet at a 45 degree angle if you want the tight corners."

I sighed, attempting to fold the corners in a 45 degree angle.

"Yeah not like that." Conrad laughed.

"Okay then, help me." I said, putting the sheet down and laughing a little.

I moved out of the way as Conrad moved to the bed.

"You have to pull this down." He said, as he fluffed the sheet a little. "Like this. Come here."

I shuffled over to his side of the bed as I watched him fold the sheets.

"See?" He asked as he stared straight at me.

"Thank you" I chuckled.

This was the first time I've seen Conrad normal. Like last year. We were actually getting along.

"Do you think it's weird how my mom isn't staying in the house this year?" I asked.

"No, what if she's seeing someone." Conrad asked.

"Ew no." I said to him.

Conrad threw a pillow at me, making me laugh.

"It's gonna be fine, don't worry about it." Conrad smiled.

God his smile. It always made me melt like this.

"Sorry your dad isn't coming this year." I said, looking up to him.

"Don't be. I'm not."

"Y/N?" I heard Laurel's voice shout from downstairs.

"She's here!" I exclaimed, grabbing ahold of Conrad's arm and running down the stairs with him.

My mom stood, her arms held out wide open, but a man was behind her...

"Mom!" I screamed as I let go of Conrad's arm and ran up to hug her.

"Y/N!" My mom said, hugging me back.

I smiled as I looked at her, "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you as well! Oh and this is Daniel, he's my..."

"Boyfriend?" I asked.

She smiled, "Yeah, I think I told you about him."

"Yeah, you did, just not his name." I said.

I walked up to him, "Hi Daniel."

"Hi Y/N, it's so nice to meet you. Your mom has said so much about you." He said.

I went inside as my mom and Daniel stayed outside talking to Laurel and Susannah.

Another car pulled up, and we easily recognized it as Belly's dad.

All of us peered out from the window in the door.

"Woah, she's hot." Conrad exclaimed from beside me.

"Conrad." I scolded, hitting him in the arm.

"I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking."

"I wasn't thinking that." Belly said defensively.

In a minute, Conrad and Steven began play righting because of Conrad's remark about Victoria being their potential step-mom.

For once this whole summer, it made us feel like all the summers before. As if nothing had ever changed.

"Guys! They're coming!" I said, hitting Conrad in the arm again.

Jeremiah, Conrad, and I ran into the house, leaving Steven and Belly to greet the parents.

The party was amazing. Gigi was talking to Susannah, Jeremiah was hanging out with Victoria, and Conrad was hanging out with Nicole...

I mostly hung out with Belly as she waited for Cam to show up.

Jeremiah, Belly and were mixing up concoctions in the kitchen after Victoria had showed us how to make her pomegranate margaritas.

"What are you three making?" Conrad asked as he came into the house.

"Pomegranate margaritas!" I exclaimed.

"But with a twist." Belly added.

"Well you have to use the good blender." Conrad said as he showed off a blender.

Jeremiah just stared at the blender. "Oh no. I haven't used that blender since the great Kool-Aid debacle of 2011."

Conrad laughed a little, "I remember, the counters were sticky for- two summers?"

"Ew. I remember that." I said.

Suddenly, it was four of us making margaritas for everyone. We added in protein powder for fun.

"No! Keep your hands on it!" Jeremiah yelled over the blender as we let go of the lid.

"Dude, you know what I miss?" Conrad asked Jeremiah.

"Huh?" Jeremiah asked.

"Watching Laurel and Amanda put Dad in his place. They'd walk in and they'd be like, "Adam." " Conrad said, accenting the name Adam.

"Adam." Laurel and my mom said as they entered the kitchen "You came."

All of us turned our heads to behind us to see Jeremiah and Conrad's dad walking through the door frame.

"Happy Fourth!" Adam said.

I looked over to Conrad, who didn't look as happy as he was a few seconds before.

"Dad!" Jeremiah said, "You came." He ran up and hugged his dad.

"Hey guys, hey Connie." Adam said. "I'll have a little of what you're mixing up there."

"Oh yeah sure." I smiled, handing him a glass.

"Y/N! How have you been?" Adam asked.

"Good, I've taken a lot of time to work on myself."

"Where'd everyone go?" Susannah's voice came out through the kitchen.

Adam looked over to the door, "Hey."

"Adam. You managed to get off work." Susannah said, yet I could sense the tension between the two of them.

"Yeah, how could I miss the Fourth with my family?" Adam said, smiling.

The tension was thick in the kitchen. None of us making a sound as we all stared at each other awkwardly.

"All right, well, let's get back to the party." Susannah said, clapping her hands.

I followed out after Belly and tried to get away from the kitchen as fast as we could.

All of us made it to the beach, hanging out and talking.

"May I present! The Belly special!" Belly exclaimed as she came down with a pitcher of the pomegranate margarita.

Nicole and Conrad were sitting next to each other on two different sun chairs, Cam Cameron had come and he was sitting on the inflatable unicorn with Belly, Steven and Shayla were sharing a floatie, and Jeremiah and I were sharing one as well.

Somehow, we had turned this into a drinking game, with all of us drinking much more than we probably should have.

I don't get Conrad." Nicole said as all of the girls sat on the dock. "It's like one minute, he's all over me, and he stays over, but we don't even fuck, right?"

Shayla, Belly, and I nodded.

"And then this morning, he's like, super into me, he was all over me, and now he's like all about football." Nicole continued. "And I know you've dated him before, Y/N, so like, what's up with him?"

"Oh yeah, he's really hard to read. Especially this year."

"Do you really think he actually likes me?" Nicole asked.

"Of course he does, Nicole. He talks about you to everyone a lot." I said.

"Really?" Nicole asked.

I nodded yes.

"Hi!" Cam said as he came down.

There was a water bottle in hand, "You may want to hydrate." He smiled as he offered it to Belly.

Belly smiled cheerfully as she grabbed his cheeks, "Cam Cameron, you are so sweet! Isn't he sweet?" She asked us clearly under the influence.

Shayla smiled, "Mhm."

"Do you want to go for a walk on the beach?" Cameron asked.

"Belly, by the way, I love that dress." Shayla complimented.

"Really?" Belly asked. "Thanks, Taylor got it for me actually."

"Mm, Taylor has great taste." Shayla smiled.

Belly laughed a little, "Yeah, I know, right? She totally does. Oh, my god. You know what? You and Taylor are like twins." Belly laughed yet again as she rambled. "Because you're both super into fashion and you're both like baddies. And you both like the same summer boys, which is.."

Shayla laughed awkwardly, "We do?"

I made eye contact with Cameron as he nodded subtly.

"Come on. Let's go for that walk." Cameron said as he tried to get Belly to sit up.

"No, no, no, Cam!" Belly said. "I'm talking. One sec. Look Shayla, like don't worry, because my brother is an absolute idiot. And it didn't mean anything."

"Let's go for a walk." Cameron said again more urgently.

"Wait, what? What didn't mean anything?" Shayla asked.

Belly stammered, "Uh, them-them kissing."

"Hey..." I said as I pushed Belly closer to the land.

"It was like... He like, loves you. He loves you and, wait, does anyone want another drink?" Belly asked.

I could see the look on Shayla's face. It dropped straight to sadness.

"Everyone's leaving. Tell them not to go." Belly said as she motioned to the group of girls packing up.

"Stay, you guys." I said, though they knew I was slightly urging them to leave.

"Oh, Shayla doesn't feel to well. I think we had a little too much." Nicole said.

"Oh, okay, but I mean. I still feel. I still feel gr-great." Belly said.

"I'm gonna head out as well." Cam said as he took the glass from Belly.

"Why?" Belly asked.

"I just think that we can catch up when you know, you're a little less..."

"A little less?"

"Um, just drink a lot of water."

"Okay. But I'm not, I'm not drunk." Belly explained.

I knew shit was going bad, so I walked off, away from the drama that had basically already unfolded.

"Conrad!" I said as I saw him walking past in the bushes as Belly and Cam were still talking.

"Yeah?" Conrad asked as we both began walking with each other. His body was covered in dirt.

"Belly's messing a little stuff up..." I said.

"Oh she's hammered." He laughed a little.

I watched as Conrad began to wipe off the dirt from his body with the cold water in the shower.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Did you buy me this for my birthday?" I asked, holding onto the sun charm. "And did you buy yourself a matching one? The moon to the sun?"

He just stared at me in shock, his mouth slightly hung open.

"Are you drunk as well?"

"No, I've had little to none to drink." I laughed.

"Wait, so you did give it to me?"

"Can you give me some privacy, please?"

Susannah came walking out, holding onto the cake.

"Where'd all the kids go?" Susannah asked.

"Uh, more for us." My mom laughed.

"I agree, Amanda." Susannah smiled.

Belly came out of the kitchen after Susannah, "Ooh! I want the piece with the strawberries!"

Her foot twisted and I watched as she fell to the floor, bringing Susannah and the cake down as well, shattering the cake stand.

"Belly, are you okay?" I asked, running to her.

"Honey, are you okay?" Adam said as he ran to Susannah "Here let me help you."

"Adam I'm fine." Susannah said as Adam attempted to help her up."I got it. I got it. I got it."

"Come on, please." Adam said.

"Stop it." Susannah hissed through gritted teeth. "Now, just go away." Susannah said.

"I-I'm sorry." Belly said as she stared at Susannah on the floor.

"Come on, let's go." Belly's dad said as she helped get Belly up from the floor.

I helped the boys as we cleaned up the backyard. The adults were inside, discussing what ever, while also checking in on Belly.

Conrad swept up the pieces of cake in the water with a net and Jeremiah and Steven threw away plastic cups and other things.

Jeremiah and Steven were bickering about who was worse at throwing cups or keeping a garbage bag open.

"Hey, dumb and dumber, can you guys get the fireworks ready and Y/N and I will clean up." Conrad said.

"Yeah, sure." Jeremiah responded.

I looked over to the left and Adam came out from inside. Conrad seemed a bit tense, but he continued to pick up the pieces of trash left behind.

"You go talk to him, I'll clean up." I said, taking the bag away from Conrad.

"Hey, Dad." Conrad said.

"Oh. Hey." Adam responded as he took out his cigarette.

"Yeah, and Belly's upstairs with her dad."

"Why'd you let her get so drunk?" Adam asked, "You're lucky her and your mom didn't get hurt."

"I didn't know she had a lot to drink." Conrad said.

"You're the oldest, you're supposed to look out for the younger kids. And you haven't been doing that. This year or last year."

"I don't know why, but I just thought I could talk to you." Conrad scoffed before walking back into the house.

"Con." I called out, but he didn't respond.

His dad had also attempted to make some conversation but that didn't work.

"Just leave, Dad." Conrad said.

I walked in after Conrad, but he was nowhere in the bottom level. I ran up to his room, not even caring to knock.

"Hey, Connie." i said, as I sat down beside him. He had his head in his hands.

"You know you can knock." Conrad said cooly.

I sighed, "Conrad, I know your dad is being a dick right now. But please. It's the Fourth."

He stared straight at me. Just staring and nothing else.

I could feel myself melt under his gaze. And it sucked. Did I like him again? It feels like I did after all the encounters we've had.

"What, is something on my face?" I asked as I began to wipe around my mouth.

He laughed a little, "No, no, just thinking."

I grabbed a towel and ran out to the pool. It was nights like these that the pool felt even more alive. When it was the Fourth and people would light up fireworks in the sky.

What caught my eye was Conrad standing at the docks.

Do I run to him?

Yes...

"Do you hate me?" I sighed as I stood beside him.

Conrad turned to look at me with a smile, "Who could ever hate you."

"Y/N" Conrad said, breaking the moment of silence.

"Yeah?"

"About the necklace..."

"Oh, no please, I'm sorry I even brought it up, I was just messing around. I know it's probably for Nicole or something." I laughed a little.

"No, no... I um... I actually did get it for you and for us."

I stared up at him, "Then why didn't you give it to me? Why did your mom give it to me?"

"I don't know." He whispered. "I got embarrassed I guess."

"Why?" I asked.

"Y/N, you don't know the effect that you can have on people." Conrad said in all seriousness.

I laughed awkwardly, "Effect on people? Conrad, I don't, I just don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah..." He said quietly, "You do."

I felt us get closer, closer than we have ever been in a year. He stared down at my lips and I stared up at his. We were inches away. Inches before I could have fucked everything up for us.

A firework came from behind us as it sparked green in the sky, bringing my attention away from him.

I stared back up at Conrad, hoping he would come and look back at me. But he didn't, so I only looked back down.

Yet, I could still feel his gaze straight on me as I looked away. He wanted me to look back to him as well, but I didn't. I just couldn't meet his eyes.

I breathed heavily as we both stared across the water, watching the fireworks light up in the sky.

I knew we both felt the same. And I knew we just couldn't get back together.

[mvltisstuff]

going, going, gone pt. 2 - c.f

summary: y/n leaves to do what susannah always wanted for her boys.

conrad fisher x conklin!reader

a/n: gif is not mine, but i was so so happy to see how much everyone loved part one!! i’ve never had to tag people, but i will try and do that at the end of the story <3 this is also not following the books, that i haven’t read because i’m the worst reader 😭

y/n stood on the opposite side of susannah’s bed, visiting her in boston after she was waiting to see her girls. her connection to laurels daughters was always something susannah felt from the moment they were born. she always wanted girls of her own, but she was still blessed with her two sons.

belly was sitting on the bed, a bright blue dress as susannah looked into her eyes. laurel had gone out to run errands for her friend, so the girls had stayed with susannah.

it was clear that her condition was declining, and rapidly. her face didn’t have the usual sunshine look, and she appeared weaker than y/n and belly were ever used to. her skinny hands trailed to theirs and wrapped together. her touch went from a warm comfort to as light as a feather. somehow, through the cloudy day, the sun poked through and her angelic smile blessed the girls.

“i’ve been missing you so much,” susannah grinned, placing a hand on belly’s thigh and grabbing y/n’s hand with the other. “i’m so glad you came to see me. i needed to see you girls.”

the look on belly’s face was almost coated with uncomfortableness, her naïve self not used to seeing people in this condition. y/n didn’t want susannah to see her fall apart in her grasp, so she made herself blend with tranquility.

the time had passed where they wanted to attempt to save susannah. now, they knew it was only a matter of time until they lost her. they may not have physically lost susannah, but they lost the spark in her a long time ago.

“the boys love you, you know,” she tells belly, and then turning her head to y/n. “both of you.”

“i know,” y/n replies, seeing belly trying to find the right words.

“promise me something?” she asks, looking at belly who’s head perks up. “look after them for me.”

“you’re going to do that yourself,” belly remarks barely over a whisper, moments away from letting the dam break. y/n’s cried enough tears for susannah, but somehow they don’t seem to stop. watching her whole family experience this grief makes her feel less alone, but seeing her baby sister fall apart is near unbearable.

she watched as belly crumpled on the bed into susannah’s arms, and her once warm grasp felt lighter than ever.

ever since her death, y/n wants to look at belly the same. her actions make it so hard. she promised susannah to take care of her boys, and she failed. she let jeremiah sit around knowing he wasn’t the one she truly wanted. afterwards, she made conrad watch in heartbreak her new self with jeremiah.

that scares y/n, knowing that she’ll never truly be able to pick between them. in the long run, no matter who she “picks”, she’s hurting more people than she thinks.

she figures the best thing she can do is be there for conrad, as belly and jeremiah don’t think it’s necessary.

as she drove further and further away, the music she normally sings to turned into static. conrad would probably still be in cousins, not wanting to face his family back in boston. the traffic had quieted down, for people would be home with their families.

she pulled up the the house that had gotten it’s life back before julia took it all away. conrad and y/n were the main ones trying to save the house from being invaded by another family. even if they couldn’t, the cousins house would always have the fisher’s name on it. when y/n walked up to the front door, she slowly turned the doorknob and stepped in.

her footsteps lightly echoed due to the emptiness of the house, some of the front rooms still looking lifeless. y/n walked around, picturing everything exactly how susannah had it, all the portraits and loving decor she had around. she knew, though, that’s how conrad will set everything up.

the sun was just starting to dip down below the horizon, and when she spotted conrad sitting with his feet dipped in the pool, he looked lower than the sun ever could get.

she quietly stepped out onto the back, not saying a word until he noticed her. his head slowly tilted around, feeling her sweet eyes burning through him. he felt more relieved. she’s the only person he wants to see. she’s the one person who hasn’t ripped his heart out and used it.

“what are you doing back?” he questions, keeping his collected expression.

“i didn’t think you really wanted to be alone. you can’t fool me, conrad,” she smirks softly, moving over to sit next to him on the edge of the pool. she dips her feet into the cool water, not yet graced by the hot summer air.

“i don’t need you to be here for me, i don’t think i’m too good of company right now.”

“i think that’s exactly why you need me,” y/n says as conrad looks back to her. he’s always noticed y/n’s beauty on the outside, but he never got to really appreciate the inside. her mind was just as beautiful as her hair when the wind blows it, or the dimples on her cheeks when she’s happy. “you don’t have to do this alone, you know.”

“yeah,” he sighs, swaying his feet in the pool. “i thought jere would at least help me.”

“i talked to belly,” y/n tells him, seeing him quickly freeze and lean his head back.

“it’s not a big deal, y/n, really,” conrad says.

“it is to me. i never thought of her like this, but i don’t understand how she could do that to you.”

“it’s a me problem, clearly jeremiah’s better than i am.”

“that’s not true. belly’s young and thinks she’s innocent. she doesn’t deserve someone like you. she’ll never take the time to know you, but she’s going to jeremiah because he’s ‘easier’.” y/n replies. “you’re perfectly fine the way you are, and you never have to change for her, or me.”

“my mom always saw me with belly. i think that’s the worst part.”

“but your mom didn’t see what belly’s done to you. susannah would never want you to change in order to be with her.” y/n says, clearly to him. “susannah asked belly to be there, and she failed.”

“what do you mean?”

“when belly and i went to visit, she asked us to take care of you and jeremiah. belly barely looked after you, and i don’t even know if she’s helping jeremiah.”

“i get it, though. i left her at prom, and broke her heart.”

“was it shitty of you? yes, i’m not gonna lie to you. at this point, she’s taking it too far by playing with you and now it’s jeremiah’s turn.”

“maybe my mom was wrong,” he looks away, connecting his eyes back with the minute waves in the water. “i miss her. she was like a breath of fresh air, and i feel like i haven’t gotten that since she died.”

“she’s still here,” y/n tells him, seeing the corner of his mouth turn up a bit.

“i still feel her sometimes. if i’m home and i hear a noise, i’ll think she’s cooking, or painting. i don’t need people to see me fall apart.”

“you never have to hide, conrad. not anymore, and not from me.”

the next time he locks eyes with y/n, he can majorly see the sincerity in her face. there’s still a hint of when they were young in their eyes, memories swimming back into conrad’s head. every time she talked to him, all the time she spent with him. every party she skipped because conrad didn’t feel up to it, and she didn’t want him to be alone. he never felt nervous around y/n the way he did with her sister. they always had a complex relationship, but never once did y/n fail to be next to him. conrad let his inch closer to y/n’s, letting her hand lay on top of his, leaving solace in him. he never noticed how soft her hands were, literally and figuratively. she never once used him and glued his pieces back together. it’s then that he realizes that’s something belly never did.

impulsively, he moves his body more toward y/n, trying to get all the gladdening she can give. she’s more than happy to give it to him, letting conrad hold onto her and have her help him. the world around the boy became lighter, almost forgetting about his former despondency caused by belly. the closer he got to y/n, the more he thought that his mother had mistaken belly for the one.

he brushes a stand of y/n’s hair behind her ear, placing his hand on the side of her neck. she breathes lightly, knowing what conrad wants from her, but not knowing if he needs it.

“conrad,” she whispers, his name coming across incredibly from her lips. “you know i love you.”

“of course,” he says back, his hand trailing down her arm.

“but i won’t be a redemption because you cannot have belly. i’ve been the second choice once and i destroyed myself. i won’t do it again.”

“belly’s not who i want. i don’t think i’ve ever loved belly the way i have for you.” it all felt so sudden, the tension growing thicker between them as conrad only wanted to deepen the connection. y/n was just so horrified of hurting him more. she knows that she could help him and love him how he should, but she needs to know that he’s not just trying to get belly back.

“i think we need time, conrad. please?” she asks, and he nods, slipping his hand back down and grabbing her hand. “but trust me when i say that’s it’s not over with us.”

the meaning behind her words is stronger. in reality, she just wants to dive into conrad and accept anything he has to give, but he needs to strengthen his own heart first. he needs to know what he wants. if y/n needs time, he will wait for her.

tags: @historygeekqueen @am-i-shit-or-am-i-the-shit @celesteblack08 @parkerdayaa @shelby-x

[dilscft]

Love you Susannah and her love to children

But I hated that she was asking and begging belly to baby her grown ass child like she’s some kind of babysitter. “Don’t let him push you away”, so Belly has to run after Conrad all her life and be with him whenever it’s comfortable for him, but when it’s not she should accept it and wait in the corner for Conrad and go back to him again when he feels like it? Instead maybe talk to your child, send him to therapy, actually explain what’s love and how it should be, ask him does he truly love Belly and if he does explain that it’s not okay to hurt people you love no matter how you feel

Also, I don’t like how she just ignored Jeremiah’s feelings toward Belly. The way she said “I knew it I knew it.” Maybe ask them how do they feel about it cause did they think about Jeremiah and the fact that he’s been dating Belly already? Why doesn’t she lecture Conrad that it’s not okay to be with Belly in that moment cause she was with Jeremiah already

[ist4rgirlo]

─── 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 - 𝐜.𝐟 : 𝐈𝐕

Summary: Being Belly & Steven’s older sibling has it’s pros and cons. protecting them and taking care of them is a must, but do you really have to put their feelings first instead of your own?

Prev ; Next || Conrad Fisher x fem!reader || My blog

Warnings: fighting, angst, yelling, accusations, swearing, crying, panic attack. JUST MOSTLY ANGST (lmk if i missed anything!)

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It was the morning after the movie night. I woke up and realized that I wasn’t in my own bedroom, I was in Conrads. He might’ve carried me up here instead of my room. I tried to wake myself up so that I can get out of this room immediately.

I got out of the covers looking at the clock — it was already 11 in the morning so I went on and immediately walked to the door but as I open it I saw Belly — she was outside of Conrad’s room waiting — probably didn’t know that he was gone. She was surprised — shocked, betrayed seeing me there.

She looked at me, her brows furrowed. She chuckled sarcastically and scoffed, “Wow Y/N. Goodmorning to you, too.” she said, turning her back on me — running towards the stairs.

I panicked, she must’ve thought wrong “It’s not what it looks like Bells!” I yelled at her, trying to catch up to her. I messed up. I shouldn’t have let myself sleep on Conrad.

“Yeah?! that’s what they always say! You came out of Conrad’s room, Y/N!” Belly turned to me, she was at the end of the stairs — I saw Steven come in the view “Why were you in Conrad’s room? and where the fuck is Conrad?” Steven asked, looking at me — confused too.

I understand that she’s hurt, she probably felt betrayed. “I was in Conrad’s room but nothing happened! It’s not like that, will you just let me explain?!” I told Belly — walking down the stairs — we were in the living room now. She probably thought that I was a traitor. “You guys, why are you yelling? what is happening?” Mom asked, Susannah right behind her — her face filled with worry.

“I saw Y/N come out of Conrad’s room” Belly said looking down at her feet, crossing her arms. Jeremiah came into the view — walking towards me, standing by my side. “What do you mean you came out of his room? why were you there Y/N?” Mom looked at me, her brows furrowed.

“I woke up then I was just there, he might’ve carried me last night or something. I swear nothing else happened, Mom.” I told them, my face was still filled with worry. “Bullshit!” Belly yelled at me — she walked towards me and looked at me in the eyes.

“Belly, don’t scream at your sister like that!” Mom said, walking towards Belly — pulling her away from me before anything bad happens. I felt Susannah come up behind me — she held my hand guiding me away from Belly. “You know you could’ve just told me that you like Conrad. I can’t believe you Y/N, after me and Conrad kissed this is what you’re going to do? You know how much I like him!” Belly yelled again — still caught up on her emotions.

Steven was surprised, even Jeremiah “You and Conrad kissed? Since when?” Steven asked Belly, Belly looked at him — probably shocked about what she said, she didn’t mean to just blurt it all out. Her emotions took over her.

“On our date, we went to the beach after and that’s when we kissed” Belly looked at all of us, “So are you guys together?” Mom asked, smiling. It’s crazy how the mood just changed like that — like she wasn’t about to kill me earlier.

Belly smiled — trying to contain her giggle. “I guess so? Yeah?” Mom hugged her and said that it was great, Steven also smiled at her. “That’s good news, Bells. Just to clear everything, I don’t like Conrad. He’s all yours.” I told Belly, smiling at her gently. Not wanting to ruin this precious moment that they are having — I turned my back to them and walked towards the kitchen.

I acted like nothing happened — I sat down to eat my breakfast, I heard Susannah ask me “Hey, are you okay?” She said, she went beside me and rubbed my back. “Yeah, I’m happy for Belly. I’m glad that her and Conrad are together. I’m okay, Susannah.” I looked at her with a smile. She looked at me, her eyes filled with worry. “Are you happy because you’re happy or are you happy because your siblings are happy?”

I ask myself the same thing — am I truly happy because I am happy or am I just putting up a front for my siblings, for my mom. I really don’t know.

I looked at Susannah, I started to tear up. “I don’t know, Susannah. I don’t know If I am happy at all, whatever i’m doing is hurting me.” Susannah looked me, she put her hand on my cheek — caressing it. “Oh my special girl. Come here” she pulled me closer and hugged me.

“Thank you for always being here for me Susannah”

“Ofcourse, you’re my special girl” She smiled, her eyes gleamed.

“Promise me you won’t ever leave me” I looked up to her, smiling.

There was silence, it wasn’t an easy question to answer but still she said, “I’ll be by your side, forever. I promise” Susannah hugged me tighter.

I know that the future might do otherwise, thats what the fate is. Right now, I just want to enjoy and cherish my moments with Susannah. Cherish the moment of me being her special girl.

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I was in the living room with Steven, we were playing a game that he pushed me to play because Conrad and Jeremiah wasn’t here so he made me play it with him.

“NOT THERE! there there there, NOOOO GO RIGHT, okay now go left” Steven yelled at me, determined to win. “OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHUT UP STEVEN! you’re stressing me out” I yelled back at him.

After awhile, we had a few rounds and there and then we tied. While Steven was in the kitchen getting some snacks for the both of us — I saw Laurel walking towards me, sitting beside me.

“So, what was that earlier?” Laurel asked — not looking at me, just looking at the screen. “What was what?” I asked, confused.

Laurel looked at me then turned to me. “That thing with Conrad, why were you in his room?”, I looked at her with my brow furrowed, “Mom I was just sleeping there. Remember last night? we were watching a movie? He probably went and carried me up to his room. That’s all, nothing else.” I explained to her.

“You know that him and Belly got something on right? they’re together now.”

“I know that, Mom”

“Then why did you sleep in his room? did something happen to you guys? you know you can tell me everythi-.”

“Mom! I just told you, nothing happened. I thought this conversation was over!” I groaned — she didn’t believe me, it’s like she wasn’t even listening to what I just said. Why was she acussing me of something I didn’t do? she knows that I can’t do this to Belly, I would never.

Mom turned herself away from me, leaning on the couch, “I don’t know why you’re acting so selfish right now. You know how much Belly likes Conrad. So please, don’t take this away from her” she said, crossing her arms.

My brows furrowed, shocked from what she just said, “Selfish? what do you mean selfish? how am I selfish when all I did was sleep in Conrad’s room? that wasn’t even my choice Mom! and I am not taking anything from her! She can have Conrad as much as she wants, I don’t fucking care!”

I yelled at her, frustrated. I didn’t even notice that I was already crying — I would never take anything away from my siblings, I care for them too much to do that.

“Don’t yell at me like that, Y/N. I am still your mother! I’m only saying this because I am worried about you and your sister. I don’t want you guys to fight about this! ” My mom yelled — hurt about how I answered her.

I scoffed, sure she was worried “Well I am sorry mom but… y-you’re hurting me right now. I can’t believe that you just called me selfish, after everything I’ve done? I-I’m sorry, this is too much for me.” I told her, I stood up from the couch then walked towards the door, as I was walking I saw Steven standing there in the kitchen looking at me, I looked back.

As he was about to walk towards me, I shook my head no then continued to walk out of the door. “God mom, you didn’t have to be so harsh to her. She’s going throught a lot of things too you know. She didn’t do anything wrong, you know yourself that she can’t do that to Belly.” Steven said.

“Steven stay out of this.”

“Well I’m sorry but they’re my sisters too, I care about them so I wont stay out of this.” Steven told my mom — mom just looked at him then stood up from the couch and then went back upstairs.

As I reached the beach, I felt my heart tighten. I felt my heart beat so fast — I couldn’t breathe, I just couldn’t. It was so hard for me, I was so hurt. I just saw myself sobbing, crying my emotions out.

How am I the selfish one when all I ever did was let Conrad have the choice, I decided to let him go for Belly. So why am I the selfish one? I was the one who got hurt — I was the one to let go of my feelings and prioritize other’s feelings first.

I tried to walk but it was hard, my knees were buckling. It was so hard to breathe, I need a second. I need to breathe.

“Y/N?” someone yelled. “P-please, just… just go.” I said, still struggling to breathe, tripping a little. I felt the person walk towards me

They grabbed my shoulder gently then they turned me — we were face to face now. I could see their eyes, it was a bit blurry but I immediately knew who it was.“You’re okay, you’re safe with me. Follow me yeah?” he instructed. He guided me to sit with him, we were kneeling in front of each other — face to face.

“Breathe in, breathe out. That’s good, there you go” he said as I followed his breathing. We did that for a minute until I calmed down. My heart was beating at a normal pace, I’m okay now.

He rubbed my back and pulled me closer. He sat down so that I can lean on him. I was now sitting between his legs — my back against his chest. “There you go, you’re okay. I’m here, you’re fine. No one’s gonna hurt you” he said, rubbing my shoulders. I felt myself fall asleep from exhaustion.

I felt safe, I felt secure. Today was exhausting, never expected that my day would end like this. I am just thankful that he’s there for me, because I wouldn’t know what to do if it wasn’t for him.

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taglist : @maybankslover @urmomisafinewoman @user3729107491 @melllinaa @anthgoldenhrry @arunabrak @amj2277 @whoisalexa @remuslupinwifee @gulphulp @layanderson @astrvalee @goldenmoonbeam @podiumprincess @johannelis2302nely @silcintilla @smw-96 @apollo3475 @drikawinchester @fangirl-kimora @sanjanapm

hi! i hope that you are enjoying this fic so far! sorry if it was just angst for this one, i just had to :> thank you for everyone that’s reading and loving my work !! i appreciate all of you :))

sorry if there wasnt any conrad or jeremiah here (or is there?? 👀) LOL

lmk if you guys want me to tag you on th next part !! also feel free to request anything :))

[frogsare-friends]

sure jeremiah said stuff he shouldn't have but we all saw the fight coming. we see conrad treat jere like he can't take anything seriously or make any decisions constantly and him saying no to the deal was the last straw. yeah, using belly to get back at conrad wasn't alright, but they're KIDS they do wrong stuff all the time. conrad does tons of things wrong but gets such little criticism. and as for the second part of the argument (about susannah) conrad was a massive d*ck too. the clapping and "real classy" were super ironic considering he broke up with belly at prom (not saying he's wrong i'm just saying the double standards are WILD). and him saying "you want a medal?" to jere when he told him what it was like taking care of susannah EVERY DAY was so incredibly self centered. and ofc it goes deeper than that. jere has felt inferior to conrad his entire life and that's going to cause problems and he is responsible for his actions but feeling inferior to someone is not bad in and of itself. and everyone mentions jere feeling inferior to conrad but conrad also has problems with jere. while it's not true, his POV is that jere doesn't take anything seriously and that he doesn't have to. he's jealous of jere being able to (from his perspective) not have so much responsibility and a huge weight on his shoulders ‐ which is why he always acts like only he is hurt, meanwhile jere is too. so when he's confronted with the possibility (and reality) of jere having to take care of susannah, and take care of the bills, and deal with adam, and grieve their mom, and graduate high school, and how hard it was for him, conrad shuts down. more specifically, he shuts jere down. he resorts to almost mocking jeremiah and denying that jere was hurt in a different way than he was to keep that jealousy. not only because he (internally) uses it to excuse his behavior but bc he can't comprehend jere having a hard time. and that's not because he's a terrible person or whatever, he's not. jeremiah has a hard time believing conrad's pain bc he thinks conrad is this untouchable figure he should look up to. conrad has a hard time believing jeremiah's pain bc he thinks jere has never had to be this untouchable figure for people to look up to. but NEITHER are fully right or wrong, they're messed up kids dealing with unimaginably messed up stuff who are sad and hurt and angry and grieving and were never given the time, space, or ability to express their emotions freely and healthily. conrad bottles it all up but everyone knows he needs help so he pushes people away to keep them from actually helping him. jeremiah bottles is all up super well and nobody knows anything is wrong and he keeps people at arms length so he doesn't have to tell them he's hurt. and it doesn't work for either of them bc they end up blowing up. which is exactly what happened at the fight. the difference is that when conrad blows up he's treated as cute and hot and sad and angry and grieving and when jere blows up he gets treated like he's violent and manipulative and hurtful and vengeful. and jere had every right to tell belly conrad lied abt him having moved on and getting his blessing. the only thing wrong with what jere did is using belly to get at conrad and not privately talking to conrad. and both of those things were wrong. if you like a character but can't admit they do things wrong, you don't like them, you like fanfiction.

[zhoufeis]

I adore you, sunshine boy.

THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY 2022-present