#maybe I'll rectify that next chapter

[dyslexicandakeyboard]

I'm one to rag on comics sooo...

WFA serious two parters is one of the worst things to happened to batfamily fandom.

And I hate myself for this because I don't really analyse fiction in a "this is bad objectively" way. Like if a story is effective in communicating it's themes and yadyadya then it's good.

Basically, WFA is effective when writing a simple, no-stakes, firmly slice of life story. It's art is whimsical and 'simple' (Not saying it's easy to draw), it's characters are not meant to be seen or discussed in a complex light and their characterisation mainly comes from outside sources, it's story lines are also pretty simple. WFA hits the mark when it's slice of life. It hits it quite effectively.

But, when it goes "deep" or tries to handle "canonical" character flaws, it's very ineffective.

That dumb ass big brother two parter is the bane of my existence. And I'll use it as an example.

Like the whole set up that leads to the main conflict was so contrived (like most of the conflicts in the two parters).

For one, why is Damian asking Dick to drive him? Is there no Alfred or Bruce. It's Alfred's job as a butler, is Alfred busy? But Damian was in school uniform walking into the Manor, then Alfred must have dropped him off. Why didn't Damian just ask Alfred.

But, maybe Damian forgot and Alfred had somewhere else to be. If so then Bruce. But Bruce may be at work, that's a reason. Then why isn't Dick at work? Why is Dick just at the Manor? Day off? But Dick is a main character and shows up in most stories. Shouldn't Dick have less appearances if so or delegate his appearances to phone calls if he's an adult and as a job?

See?

Next, is Tim's reaction. Now, I understand feeling left out. But, Tim is seventeen. A near adult. Having you're day of fun be pushed back for an important errand isn't the end of the world. It's not like Dick said "fuck it, I wanna go clubbing". It's not like it was previously established that Dick constantly ran himself dry trying to please all of them and in the effort hurt Tim. It came out of left field.

All of these cracks in the narrative leads to the plot to seem unrealistic, and thus the the reader will consider it contrived. This also leads to the theme/concept/ideas explored in the chapters seem less impactful.

Also the fact that Dick doesn't really have the flaw of "not asking for help when trying to maintain family relationships". Not saying Dick's the best brother in the whole wide world but Dick has been maintaining his family relationships as the eldest brother for a long time. Dick being responsible and helping Damian doesn't mean that Dick doesn't have time for Tim or that he's blowing him off, it means life got in the way of play. It's also kinda a false equivalence to imply going to an arcade is as important as helping your brother with homework.

Could Dick ask one of his siblings to take Damian, of course.

Was it actually needed in the situation, no.

Was Tim valid for feeling that way, yes.

Was Dick/Tim/Damian in the wrong or had behaviour that needed to be rectified, no.

It could have been an interesting exploration of the role that the eldest plays in the family and how taxing it can be along with how someone can feel an emotion and understand that even if they do feel somehow it doesn't mean that it's the appropriate response to a situation.

Plus, the whole character flaw for Dick is never brought up again. There's no follow up where we see him accept help from the family. The whole story arc which is supposed to develop his character leads nowhere. Rendering the big brother arc meaningless for Dick's character and the webtoon at a whole.

[skynapple]

Do you have any plans to continue budding romance??

Bold of you to assume I wouldn't be

I just had a lot going on IRL that halted a lot of my creativity.

I'll be honest, I'm on draft 4? Maybe 5? of the next chapter, and I'm just not happy with it. I've re-written it over and over, the same thing.

I even wrote past it, thinking it would help if I just "well let me write the ending and see if that helps" it... did not hahahaha. I literally have the ending written out in prose that I'm pretty happy with?

But this next chapter is such a CORE connecting point between the chapter prior and getting to the ending I envision... I'm just paralyzed because I'm hard on myself and I want to get it right.

It's my first thing I've written since I was like, 18? I'm 26. The imposter syndrome is real.

So it will end because my god, I WROTE THE ENDING. It's in a doc 😭

I just need to get this next chapter right.

Any guesses why though? Xavier and Jeremiah will... converse.

I went to a writer panel at a creative professionals convention, and listened to experts talk about why a story doesn't work. A huge point they hit was, "If you have a problem in the third act, your problem is ACTUALLY in the first act."

My problem was this all started as a silly little fanfic for kicks and giggles and spiraled into something I'm proud of. This ALSO was all written before World Underneath came out to flesh out Jeremiah's character a bit more. (I was so excited to get things right, but it also kinda put me at a halt). I cannot tell you how badly the first few chapters make me cringe. I want to rewrite them (the whole story actually) pretty badly 😅

But it's so blaringly obvious... there's a problem in the first act now that I'm in the third, and I'm trying to rectify it. Hopefully in a way that not only makes sense to the readers, but for the characters as well.

[senbons]

OH HOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

If I know you in real life I think I'll force you to meet up to talk about this chapter for hours lollll. No matter what you say I still feel honored that my favorite writer want to write that long to discuss her stories with me 😭

Now that she still feels his hand on her throat, I'm afraid that she will just jump on him later that night lol (poor Mijin. I think he already knows whats between these 2 after all those shogi nights. I believe that everyone knows. Ino and Chouji know. Araya knows. And it's about time before her family, who will be in Konoha in two weeks know too. And it really scares me how they are so palpable).

The are A LOT to discuss.

And they are indeed violent. I wrote in the last chapter how they both knew they were already fucking each other in their dreams and this chapter is excactly that. Their sexual frustration is so overwhelming they both knew they want to fuck each other after the first glance and he shamelessly admitted it. He mentioned a lot of sexual thoughts. Noted physical things about her. It's all physical. Makes me wonder, if they get the sex, what's next? Were they just 2 hot attractive people who happened to be around the same age and then got stuck with each other throughout most of the weeks and there are no other logical choice than to fuck? I really CAN NOT wait to see how you unfold their relationship after that.

Thank you so much for consistently responding to my babbling it means a lot to me 😭

P.s: the scene when they were smoking cigs together and how he lit hers and pay attention to her lips, her neck, her face and how Temari pointed out at their shadows in the dark is really cinematic in my head. That's my favorite picture so far from this story.

I love YOU!!!! I have these stories and images and narratives in my head and so when I put them down all I want are to show them to other people so they can live in that same world and discuss it with me 😂 (which is a long way of saying I would LOVE to sit down and discuss for hours ad naseum!).

There is definitely a vibe here of sex = power on the one hand, while on the other sex = weakness (/the furthest thing can get from power), and he can't figure out how to rectify that tension or fix that schism. I do think they're positions (in the way he sees them) are genuinely insurmountable. i agree idk how it'll unfold at this point 😵‍💫(😂)

(also yes that scene is maybe my fav too)

[bylightofdawn]

Whelp my evening did not go as planned. Called mom after work to see if she had a wrist brace since I've kinda strained my left wrist only to run into something really weird going on with her phone. I could barely hear her and the call dropped repeatedly so I ended up driving over to her house at 11pm. I guess she has a pair of ear buds and it was connecting to it via Bluetooth. And then there was other shit she was freaking out about and lemme tell you...when she's a bundle of stress she is the most miserable person to deal with.

And it's 11pm, I'm in pain, exhausted from work and hungry. I should get a fucking gold medal for keeping my chill is all I'm saying. Her new boyfriend is (kinda controlling in my opinion and is insisting she stop smoking) which good luck pal, my brother and I have been trying to convince her to quit smoking for fucking years. So yeaaaaah that's a thing and so she's of course even more snappish.

I swear to god, I wish we had the kind of relationship where I could just order her a nice vibrator and tell her to fucking town to destress. Cause holy shit. Though I guess her and the new boyfriend have a very active sex life which...bleh I don't want to ponder overly much. Still, I think she could use some one on one me time and find that's a much less destructive form of stress relief than smoking.

But alas, that is not going to happen. She was raised by very WASP parents and sex has always been super taboo a discussion. Of course, my being pretty much aroace means I'm not exactly super thrilled to discuss the subject with her either I'll admit. I also have no idea wtf she's into so yeah. But at 11pm when I am exhausted, in pain and hungry these are the kinds of salty things my brain conjures up. LMAO

Now I am home so I can rectify the pain thing with some tigerbalm (if I can find one of the half-dozen jars I know I have in my fucking apartment but constantly lose track of. Eat something and then I'm going to bed. Even though the creeping, stressful realization that this week is a Seeds update week and I have to edit the next chapter tomorrow night or maybe Thursday. Weh

[astrangetypeofchemistry]

Chloè Bourgeois’s Guide To Proving The Class Rep Isn’t A Selfless Angel

A very special thank you to @thedeathofablog for being amazing and absolutely saving me. I have a track record of giving up on stories after the second chapter because of how confused I get, and I’m glad I had someone helping me out this time. It doesn’t hurt that they’re... quiet eccentric. 

And @breeeliss who is a ray of sunshine for the Chlonette in the fandom. I hope you’re having a good day.

Here is, finally, the next chapter. 

Find it on AO3. 

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 

Chapter 3: Chloè Bourgeois’s Guide To Explaining To Your Gay Crush That You’re Dating Even If You’re Not Dating

Shoving the door to the bakery open with a strained smile, Chloè Bourgeois felt herself fuming. With no regard to the multitude of customers, or the owners who were staring after the mayor’s daughter in shock as she threw her backpack across the shop , Chloè heaves up to the counter, standing right in front of the counter.

“Where is Marinette?” she demands, her voice as forceful as you’d expect it to be.

Sabine Cheng stands in a daze, pointing behind her, which definitely blows Chloè up even more.

(If we're being honest, Chloè has no clue why she's angry, she just knows she is.)

(And it is definitely not because she's hoping Marinette will get angry right back)

(Shut up)

When Chloè finds herself in the main part of the house, there’s no sign of Marinette, forcing her built up anger to go to waste as she made her way up the stairs she was sure lead to Marinette’s room. Pushing open the trapdoor, she found the target of her anger muttering at her desk, her head in her hands.

“Wow,” Chloè found herself saying, and when Marinette looked up, she found her visitor staring at the walls. There, in plain view, was the biggest evidence of Marinette’s crush. “Should I be jealous that you have pictures of someone else all over your walls?”

Adrien Agreste, Chloè’s best friend, was plastered all over the walls. In fact, Chloè was pretty sure this was every single campaign Adrien had ever done. She had to hide how impressed she really was as Marinette scowled.

“Leave me alone, Chloè. You forced me into dating you. And we’re not really dating.”

Dredging up all her stores of bitchiness, Chloè forced a harsh glare onto Marinette, ready to knock her off of her high horse.

“I haven’t forced anything, Missy.” Hands travelling to her hips as she stood in the middle of the room, Chloè began her lecture. It was time to knock some sense into Marinette Dupain-Cheng, once and for all. “If anything, it’s obvious you agreed to this, and for selfish reasons too. You want to keep me far away from Adrien because you’re desperate and manipulative.” Chloè’s hand flies up when Marinette opens her mouth in outrage, and her glare hardens even more, effectively shutting Marinette up.

“I asked you to pretend to date me, to satiate my own curiosity. To prove to myself that you really aren’t the kind and selfless person people think you to be. You’ve definitely proven me right.”

“Proven you right?” Marinette spluttered heavily, her cheeks flushed bright red. “I’ve done nothing-”

“Except try to turn yourself into the victim here, acting like I forced you into this when you damn well knew what you were getting into!”

“You kissed me without my consent!”

Marinette stood up, as if to give herself control over this argument, and Chloè smiled mockingly.

“Suck it up, honey. From what I remember, you agreed to serenading me. You’re going to have to get used to touching me.”

“I don’t have to get used to anything!” Marinette cried, and Chloè’s smile turned even more mocking, which was a shock in and of itself. Neither girl had thought it possible.

“In case you forgot, you’re trying to prove you’re not selfish. You’re definitely failing at that. But it all hinges on you managing to make me fall in love with you. You can’t make me fall in love with you if you’re repulsed by me.” And then, with a snort, Chloè added “And you can’t make Adrien like you by floundering around him.”

Marinette gaped at her, and Chloè moved closer, standing right in front of her.

“Get out of this victim mindset. You’re being ridiculous, and it’s not cute at all. You agreed to this- to trying to make me genuinely fall for you- and you won’t be able to do that by trying to guilt me.”

“I can only guilt people who have emotions, after all,” Marinette added, but it was weak and stilted, and definitely gave Chloè the courage to bring her arms up around Marinette’s shoulders. Her fingers loosely twined behind Marinette’s neck, pulling them both closer.

There’d been envy in Chloè since the day she’d met Marinette, wondering why every interaction they had always resonated with Chloè. Always a slight curiosity, that moment of contemplation when she didn’t understand why turning around and watching the enraptured look on Marinette’s face was so important.

“I need to stop bringing up how not real this is?” Marinette asked hesitantly, and Chloè gently released a breath, trying to make sure Marinette didn’t feel it. Judging by the way she shuddered, it had been a failure.

“Being told a relationship is fake doesn’t inspire warmth and fuzziness.”

Marinette somehow shuffles closer, and Chloe held her breath. How was it possible that even being this close, so impossible close, it still felt like there was a giant chasm separating them?

“You like me, don’t you?” Chloè’s eyes fell shut with another exhale, and their foreheads finally touched as Marinette continued. “That’s why you’re so determined. You’re trying to prove to yourself that I’m. Not likable. A terrible person.”

Sky blue eyes flashed open with a soft touch to her cheeks, Marinette’s hands gently cupping her face.

“I don’t have feelings for you, Chloè,” Marinette continued, her eyes pleading. Soft. Beautiful the way they always are. And Chloè somehow fell harder. How had they ended up here? All those years of cruelty, all those years of thriving off of each other’s failures, had lead up to this, this soft moment that would break everything.

Her hands reached up to encircle Marinette’s wrists, a soft “I know” falling from her as she gently pulled those hands away. Five minutes ago, it had felt like she was making Marinette feel ridiculous. Now, the tables had definitely turned.

It felt childish, the way that little boys pulling little girls’ pigtails to get their attention was. How could Chloè have expected Marinette Dupain-Cheng to like her just because they’d be forced to put on a show for everyone else?

Chloè stepped back, and this time, the distance seemed bigger somehow than it ever had in the past years of hatred they’d had. With a soft voice, she mumbled “The deal’s off.” With Marinette’s disbelieving gaze on her, Chloè straightened up, adopting the same haughty expression she always had. “It’s obvious you can’t win after all. I mean, you serenading me? You would’ve lost anyway.”

And then Chloè walks out, walks down the stairs and through the bakery, grabbing the abandoned backpack. There was no point in returning to school; she headed straight back to the hotel. There was no Marinette running after her, no cries and pleading, no voice calling to stay.

And in that moment, Chloè was reminded of her mother in a way her yellow jacket never achieved. 

Chapter 4

[blackrabbit-megapig]

Hey i know this is super random but could you talk a bit about why you did not like dark rise? i was about to buy it when i saw your reply to an old post and now im like... very curious. money's tight rn and i dont want to spend it on a book that might disappoint me :(((

Hello,,,

I would like to apologize in advance if this response feels a bit off. I haven't communicated with anyone via Tumblr for a good long while. Hence, I just noticed this question sitting in my DMs. Again, sorry!

You asked about Dark Rise. I want to be fair to C.S. Pacat because I like her and I think her stories can be fun. However, Dark Rise... just wasn't my thing.

I'll start with the characters by saying that I didn't particularly care about any of them. Pacat introduces a large number of characters right off the bat but doesn't really give the reader time to become attached before she starts killing them off. The book shifts POV chapter to chapter, but even that doesn't rectify this problem. In fact, there's a character that felt like they only existed just to be a mouthpiece for the plot, listing off exposition when necessary before he's killed rather abruptly.

The main character, Will, is rather bland in my opinion, and doesn't fit the great, tragic destiny that's bestowed upon him. In the last two (?) chapters, he goes nearly full Sauron and it feels weirdly out of character. Maybe his development in the next two books will flesh him out for the better, but I don't believe Pacat did a good job of setting him up.

I will not speak on James. I liked James. Pacat certainly liked James. Will DEFINITELY liked James. James probably has the most potential for a good, satisfying character arc out of everyone in this series. However, the way he's written makes it seem like Pacat only really knows how to do ONE archetype of character with a compelling backstory. That's why I agreed that her fixation on bitchy, slightly cruel blond men is starting to feel off. It's very much giving one-trick pony.

The pacing was also an issue for me. The training the characters go through happens so fast, and then people just start dropping like flies. Everything about the world is given to you before the second half of the book and gives you zero opportunity to discover and speculate. Will's full descent into his villain arc feels like it should've happened later than it does. I don't think we should've discovered his true heritage in the first book, nor do I believe that we should've learned the truth of his parentage as early as we do.

I know this setup exists probably to cut the fat and get to the meat of the story, but it makes everything feel so rushed and sudden in the last half. What's the point of a good fantasy story if you don't slow down and bask in the world you've created? It doesn't have to be go-go-go from start to finish!

Now, my ultimate beef with this book: the world-building. Look, the math isn't math-ing in my head and despite having this premise of taking place years after this great, magical war, the world feels so...empty? I know people make the joke that if a fantasy novel gives you a map at the beginning of the book, then you know it's going to be good. Dark Rise is not that book. If anything, the map makes the story even more confusing and disappointing. Characters hop around the map like it's nothing, arriving at destinations within sentences. As I said, why was Pacat rushing? Why didn't she take any time to flesh the universe out?

There's randomly this whole lore piece about unicorns that only exists to explain ONE character and one scene. Now, I wouldn't have an issue with this if it didn't feel so janky and bloated.

I've been pulled through the high fantasy genre's asshole so many times that I've become accustomed to a certain level of finesse. I expect so much effort to be put into world-building because I figure that if you're going to tell this epic tale with fantasy creatures and magic and all this really cool stuff, why wouldn't you spend the time to make sure that all of it makes sense? Why wouldn't you make sure that locations and creatures and people feel tangible? I know that Pacat did the best she could with this first book, but it reads like so much of the world is missing. Dark Rise's world-building feels like it was created after the premise of the story was drafted out rather than the other way around. It feels like this world only exists to tell this specific story rather than existing as a setting where these characters and events could just so happen to exist and occur.

Even the made-up ancient language is baffling and makes me want to grind my teeth. I don't know if it's based on an actual language, but Pacat didn't do it justice.

As I said, this book just wasn't for me. I think it might have something to do with me going into it with high expectations and all these ideas about what a good fantasy novel should be, but my opinion is my opinion. I'm an adult now, and YA fantasy is a genre that I think is starting to just feel too juvenile for me in general.

I will say that if you're into cliche, chosen one narrative YA novels, this book is certainly for you.

Also, if money is an issue, I will say that there are ways of getting ahold of free ebooks online without surrendering your computer to malware. You can also download those books onto a Kindle now (who knew?! Not me!). I just checked a certain website and Dark Rise is on it. I'm not saying I'm explicitly endorsing pirating books, but it is an option you can consider until you're in a financial situation where you can start buying books again.

Hope this helps!

EDIT: I came back to this and added some non-spoiler examples for the points that I was trying to make. Please take my opinions with a grain of salt and read whatever books are interesting to you and make you happy!