#maybe he's been watching Jeremy howe at training

[writingsfromhome]

Red Rose II

A/N: Did some more work on this series. It’s one of the first fics I ever posted here (2020!?!) but felt writer’s block every time I tried to continue. The story is finally shaping up in my head though. It deals with fantastical elements. I’d say it’s not exactly my average fic…

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

—————————

My head is pounding like a bass drum when I wake up, the room I’m in is too dark to see but the sliver of light coming from below the curtains gives the day away. I try to make out the room around me, the night comes back to me in bits.

I must be at the handsome bloke’s-Harry it was. I remember, Harry offered to let me crash at his. I gently turn to stare at the spot next to me but it looks made. He slept somewhere else—he really was a gentleman.

My body creaks as I pivot off the bed and onto the plush carpet. With the softness of the covers and the quality of the carpet, I figured Harry was well off. Compared to my Ikea flat, and synthetic rugs, this was a castle.

I find the light switch and the brightness assaults my sensitive eyes, but I make out a bathroom off to the side. Sweet.

I looked horrible; as hard as I’d done myself up last night I had undone myself in the hours following. And looking at my puffy face and raccoon eyes, I could barely believe Harry wasn’t more afraid of me. Maybe he just pitied me.

By the time I walk back into the room, the curtains have been pushed open, the bed made, and a plain black tee and palazzo pants in my size lay on the bed. It looks exactly like something I would wear on my day off. A glass of water and two painkillers sit on the sidetable. There was no way Harry did all this, how did he find clothes in my size? And why would he make my bed?

I leave the questions for later and take the painkillers (after double checking the label), take the clothes back into the shower and wash the weird night away. It’s not hard finding the kitchen from the smell of coffee and baked goods.

I find Harry sitting in a robe on the balcony off to an open concept kitchen. Two women prepare breakfast, in uniform—so they definitely weren’t family, and another man in uniform stands outside. He definitely didn’t make my bed. I quietly head out to Harry.

“Once I can, that’s all she needs to know.” Harry sips a coffee with his back to me. The man outside only nods to me before going back in.  

“Rose,” Harry says. I jump, how did he know I was here. “I can see your reflection in the glass.”

“Do you read minds or something?” I ask as I walk into his view and settle into the chair opposite him.

“Or something,” he smiles. From what I remember from yesterday, he was big and bold and broody but this morning his face is lit from below and he doesn’t seem as intimidating—it holds a kindness that was missing yesterday. At an angle, he looks almost harmless. Almost.

“Thanks for...well for everything.” I wasn’t sure how to approach his kindness. I knew everything came with a price, Harry was being really nice, he’d kept to his word and left me to recover, but I didn’t know why. That made me uneasy. As I think it, Harry fixes me with a stare, waiting for me to continue but I don’t know what to say so I babble. “I usually don’t do this, follow strangers home. But last night was kind of really awful and-shit, Jeremy! I..”

I pat my pockets out of habit but of course my phone isn’t there. I look up and my phone is on the table. I grab it, and look up, Harry continues to stare as if he was watching a rat in a maze he’d constructed and a chill goes down my spine.

Leave it up to me to make things weird.

My train of thoughts freak me out so I just excuse myself and go inside, my screen isn’t cracked anymore. I run my finger over the screen to make sure but it’s entirely smooth. Was I hallucinating yesterday?

“Y/N, why are you calling so bloody early?” Jeremy’s sleepy voice answers the phone. I check the room and spot the time on the fridge. 8:44.

“Sorry, must be the jet lag. I just want you to know I’m okay.”

“What? Why wouldn’t you be?” I hear him shuffling.

“I...” I realise he knew absolutely nothing from yesterday. I never called him-he probably thinks I’m still at my ex’s! “I’m sorry Jer go back to bed. I’ll explain later.”

He grumbles something but he sounds half-asleep already. I tuck my phone into my pocket and go back outside. The women have disappeared and a buffet is laid out in front of Harry. He points to my seat and I take it.

“Wow,” I was at a loss for words. But I ask, “Did you fix my phone?”

“It fell out of your pocket when I was helping you to bed.” Harry says. “I cracked the screen so I fixed it. Brought it out here for when you had breakfast.”

“Oh no, I um, I actually broke it last night!” I pull it out with a nervous laugh. How did he fix it? “I got angry and sort of...yeah, anyway, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for me. I really...I’m actually overwhelmed with how nice you’re being.” My laugh comes out in a rush of air, I’m trying to figure this man out. He didn’t feel threatening but there were all these red flags that made it seem so.

He finally cracks a smile back and nods. “This is how a woman like yourself should be treated. Let’s just enjoy the feast, and enjoy the morning.”

I smile as he pours me coffee. Something in the back of my head wants to analyze everything about the man in front of me, his good looks and his good manners. But also the cold way he observes me versus the short bursts of sunshine in his laugh. His hand keeps brushing mine, and he makes me blush with his compliments. But he continues to call me Rose, he doesn’t even ask for my name again. So I don’t offer it.

“So do you do this often?” I ask. “Invite a stranger from a pub and take care of her?”

“I’ve been visiting The Good Folk for decades and I’ve never met a woman like you.”

My heart skips a beat, not at the compliment. He said decades, but he had less wrinkles than I did and I wasn’t even 30. How old was he?

“I bet you say that to all the women you take home,” I say.

“Yes,” he admits and I look up from my toast. He seems unfazed by his admission but he notices my expression, “What?”

“You just admitted to saying that to all the women you take home.”

“Yes?” He stares. “This is the first time I’ve taken a woman home from there.”

It sounds like a lie or a technicality but he’s entirely honest. And I don’t know how I know that.

The uniformed man suddenly appears and says something to Harry who excuses himself and leaves. Was he like Mr. Alfred, butler to a billionaire type? Harry sure was mysterious enough to have one.

I use the time alone to look around, the view showed an expanse of green fields and in the distance the skyline of London. I’d lived here all my life yet I couldn’t figure where exactly we were.

I look back inside, the place is spotless. Harry must be richer than I thought if he could afford a place like this and hire help. He was a gentleman with a streak of odd, I conclude.

I wanted to figure the odd bit out.

“Are you done with breakfast?” I jump when one of the women from earlier appears beside me. But on a closer look, she was a lot younger than me. Maybe around 15?

“I’m done. You’re quite young. What’s your name?”

She giggles and looks back to where the other women is watering the outdoor plants. When she turns at the sound of the giggles, I realise she was just as young. Was this even legal?

“I’m called Dot, that’s Oona.”

“Nice to meet you Dot.” I watch as she picks up a stack of plates. She was stronger than she looked but still I ask, “Do you need help?”

She just giggles again as if what I asked was absurd and simply carries the large stack inside. I decide to help anyway, feeling unusual if I sat while they cleared the table. It wasn’t something I was used to.

I drop the coffee cups off on the counter when Harry appears and pulls me away.

“What are you doing?” He demands.

“I’m just helping clear...” I turn to point to the girls but they stare at us. It reminds me of the weird motorcycle guy yesterday who offered to give me a ride home. They have the same look in their eyes and when I turn to Harry I can see why. His features are set in an aggressive expression. I didn’t know what I’d done except to help out, and I didn’t want the two girls to get in trouble.

“Harry I...” I touch his arm. “They didn’t ask or nothing, I was just sitting there and thought I could help. I’m not usually waited on...especially by girls younger than me so it was just weird to just sit there.”

His eyes slide from the two behind me to me, his expression softens ever so slightly. “We all have our roles. Let them do theirs. They’ve been in my employment for many years.”

“Okay,” I agree quickly. I wanted to move away from the tense room and shift Harry’s attention away from Dot and Oona. I would have to apologise later, I didn’t mean to get them in trouble. And maybe ask what their skin care tips were—there was no way Harry hired children so they must have amazing genetics.

“Did you have any plans today? I know you people usually go to work during the day,” Harry leads me to a large room that must be an office. I’m taken aback by his bluntness saying “my people”.

“We’re not all rich unfortunately,” I say passively. I couldn’t figure out if Harry was a good guy or not. One second he was kindly hosting me and the next he looks ready to throw his help out the window because I helped them.

“What do riches have to do with your plans?” Harry looks genuinely confused. He played aloof really well.

“My people?” I remind him.

“Yes, what do you do during the day?”

I shake my head. He was so confusing. “I usually have work but I’m off for the week. I thought I would spend today with...my ex. But after yesterday-“

“You deserve better. He doesn’t hold a candle to you.”

I laugh, slightly nervous having all his attention so close. “Right. That’s nice of you to say. But I seem to have a bad history with men, I don’t think I even know what I deserve at this point.”

“I thought it was human nature to follow your hearts?” Harry stops fiddling with the book in his hands and moves towards me. “Love makes the world go round or something like that?” Harry drags his fingers up and down my arm and I feel it in the pit of my stomach. “How can you not know what you deserve.”

“I...” words leave my mind as I lean in towards him. His touch empties me of thought and I just want more of him. But as I lean into him it’s like he realises what was happening. He jumps back, letting go of me and I straighten up.

“Uh,” Harry clears his throat, “I can’t-“ he looks to the door just as it creaks open, I immediately feel the familiar burn of embarassment that came with rejection. What was wrong with me? He kept making it clear he was just being nice, he wasn’t interested like that. Why did I react to him so strongly?

“What is it?” Harry sounds annoyed at whoever’s at the door. When I finally look, it’s the man from earlier. His Alfred.

“Your presence is needed at...” he glances at me and back at Harry.

“I told you, tell her I’ll get back to her once I can-“

“It’s quite urgent,” his butler’s eyes continue flicking between the both of us.

I check the time on my phone and the movement catches Harry’s attention. I avoid looking directly at him, “I should head back home now anyway. You’re obviously busy.”

“You don’t have to,” he says in a low voice. “You can stay as long as you need.”

“I’m pretty recovered from last night,” I smile. “I think I just have some of my things in the room I stayed in.”

“Dot will get it for you,” Harry puts his hand on my back as I walk to the door. His butler continues staring at us as he moves aside and follows us out.

Dot suddenly appears with my wallet and clothes from yesterday, laundered and smelling amazing.

“Wow,” I take them from her, scanning her face to be sure she was alright. She just gives me a bright smile contrasting her icy hands. “Thank you.” I tell her and turn back to Harry, “I can’t thank you enough for last night. I was a mess and...you helped. I seriously owe you one.”

Harry’s sharp gaze settles on me and I hear a gasp from Dot. It’s like the air was sucked out of the room, I glance back at Dot and her eyes are wide. His butler also looks startled. Were they okay?

“You don’t need to,” Harry finally says. “Consider it a kindness, not a favour.”

“No no,” I walk with Harry towards the front. His house was like a maze. “Nobody is ever this kind for no reason, I’ll make it up to you.” If there was anything life taught me, strangers didn’t do things out of pure kindness. I didn’t want strings down the road. I would rather just let him know I would return the favour and have that sit between us.

His expression is unreadable as he opens the door, a woman already stands outside with a car idling on the road. Woah.

“I accept,” Harry says. I raise my eyebrow, he had an odd way of talking. That’s what made him more intriguing.

On impulse, I go to press a quick kiss to his cheek but he jerks back. I back away, my cheeks aflame, and walk out with my things in hand. The woman opens my door for me and as hard as I try, I still glance back at Harry before I get in and give him a lame wave. His gaze never leaves mine, even after I sit in. He really did just do this to help me out, I read too much into it. He obviously didn’t feel the attraction I felt.

***

“You know that sounds completely made up? I’ve never even heard of The Good Folk.”

It’s late afternoon and I’m catching Jeremy up on last night’s adventure. I didn’t think his eyes could get bigger than they already were but with each part of the story they grow wider.

“As if you know every single pub in London,” I roll my eyes at my best friend.

“If the pub was lit at 1am it must be popular enough-I would know. Where does this guy live?”

“I...” I try to remember the route we took back to my flat but it’s foggy. Maybe I was too preoccupied with getting over being rejected multiple times. But I do remember we arrived at my flat within half hour. “Right outside London but I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“Doesn’t sound like you,” Jeremy nudges me. “Does somebody have a new special somebody in their life already?”

“I wish!” I really did. “He was mostly distant, nothing happened! He didn’t even let me kiss him goodbye. Plus, I just broke up with you know who.”

“We all knew that chapter was coming to a close,” Jer huffs. “You weren’t even in love with him.”

“Well,” I don’t have much to say to that. Jeremy was right, the relationship was getting colder. And after a warm bath and a meal, I could see clear enough. I was angry yesterday for letting it get to the point I was cheated on. I never had the balls to end it myself. As strong as I made myself on the outside, I hadn’t been strong enough inside to admit it and just end it.

Mostly I was scared to be alone again.

“Well,” Jeremy pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead. “I’m going to start some dinner for us. You can go through the mail that’s been piling up for you.”

I reach for the stack he drops down beside me. Most of the bills I paid online, I put those aside. Junk, pamphlets, which just left two to actually look at. The first is a postcard from my foster sister, she was doing her gap year and made sure to send me a postcard from each country even though I’d seen her while I was away. The other is unmarked, thin. I open it and inside is just a note.

The Good Folk, tonight. 10:30pm.

Did Harry send this? I flip the paper over but it’s blank, until it catches the light and I realize the faint shimmer of a logo. It’s a spiral in the palest silver but there’s nothing else written anywhere. Maybe Harry did send it, he didn’t have my number but he did know where I lived. Maybe I was seeing him again tonight, maybe Jer was right. Butterflies take over my nervous system but I tell them not to get their hopes up. They don’t listen.

“What are you grinning at?” Jeremy calls from the kitchen—the open concept allowed him to see me.

“I might have a date tonight, half past ten,” I hold up the paper. “Harry.”

“Ooh,” he grins before it morphs into concern. “That’s late...you don’t think?”

“We’ll see,” I skim my fingers over the writing. Maybe he just wanted to talk, but if a guy wanted to see you twice in a day that usually meant something right? Even though he looked afraid everytime I went in for a kiss. I sigh. We’ll see.

***

I look back at the shops around me. I swear this was where I was last night. But the place where The Good Folk should have stood was just a Gregg’s. A Google search didn’t turn up anything so all I had to rely on was memory and even that was shoddy.

I ask a couple passing by but nobody knows what I’m talking about. Great, Harry would probably think I stood him up.

I decide to wander, maybe I’ll stumble on it again. I don’t even try to think, hoping my memory will lead me. The dark streets remind me of my near meltdown last night. It was late, if I didn’t find it in the next five minutes I was driving back.

Just as I think it, I see a familiar sign. The Good Folk. But it’s on a street corner and it was most definitely not on a corner last night. Definitely weird.

When I walk in, it’s past 10:30 and I hope Harry wouldn’t mind. I walk to the bar, even more people staring tonight than last. I definitely didn’t look how I did last night, was it just because I wasn’t a regular?

“Surprised you’re back,” the barkeep actually acknowledges me today. He has a petite woman working the counter too.

“Just meeting someone,” I say. Harry was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was late too.

“A woman like you should be careful,” he sets a drink in front of me.

“I didn’t order th-“

“I did,” a soft voice says to my left. I look at the source, and am surprised to see a blonde guy who definitely was not Harry. He did look familiar. Then I remember, I saw him last night.

“I know you. You were here yesterday-or rather this morning right?” He has kind eyes when he smiles at my question.

“Yes, I saw you come and go. I never got the chance to speak with you.”

I take a seat, may as well while I waited. As I do I remember more; he was glaring at Harry when we left. “Now’s your chance!” I smile at him and take a sip. “Woah, this is amazing.”

“I thought you might like it,” he watches me drink more. I wasn’t even halfway through and I already wanted a second. “Wild elderberry cocktail.”

“I have to remember that,” I say and make a mental note as I gulp down more.

“I never caught your name...”

“Oh, I didn’t even introduce myself how rude of-“

“Rose,” my back straightens as Harry’s familiar voice rings across the bar. What was up with him interrupting my conversations here?

“Rose,” the blonde nods, ignoring the fact that Harry had answered his question. I open my mouth to correct him, to give my real name but he gives me his. “Elliot.”

I can’t even respond because Harry suddenly crowds me. There’s a fiery heat emanating from him towards Elliot. Maybe there was something between them, and the way they glare at each other, I don’t want to find out.

“Took you long enough,” I tell Harry. But the pub is so silent you can hear a pin drop. I look around and everyone is staring at us, this must be one of those places where everyone knew everyone else. And the vibes were telling me these two must have a history.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asks. “Why are you here?”

“Um, you invited me? The letter?”

“What letter,” he finally tears his eyes from Elliot and he looks fierce. My stomach drops and my eyes sting. I was such an idiot, of course he didn’t send it. Why was I so obsessed with the idea that I could mean something to this man I just met. Why was I acting like a hormonal teenager about this!?

“I got a letter to be here at 10:30...I just thought it was you I-“

“It was me,” Elliot interrupts. I look to him, his face is a breath of fresh air compared to Harry’s fiery storm.

“How did you know where I lived?” I ask but it doesn’t matter because Harry’s put his body between Elliot and I.

“You stay out of this. Leave her alone.” Harry’s words are threatening.

“She’s not yours,” Elliot says lazily. “She came of her own free will.”

“Free will? She came on an invite. By you.”

“An invite is just that. Her choice.”

“Stay away toadstool, if you touch a single-“

“Hey!” I use my hands to pry them apart. “I’m sitting right here! And I don’t need a knight in shining bloody armour. You,” I turn to Harry. “Don’t need to worry about me. It’s not like you want me. Elliot invited me out, I’m here for him. Not you.”

If I thought it was silent before, it was void of even a breath now. Harry looks like steam could be coming out of him and just like a switch, he backs away and straightens out. His face falls into neutral as he nods.

“As you wish.” He turns, with a last cold look at Elliot, he walks out. Everyone watches him go and as soon as he does there’s a burst of excited chatter.

“What was that about,” I turn to Elliot.

“The past.” He says vaguely before ordering me a second drink. I didn’t even realise I stress drank the first one.

The bartender eyes me as he hands me over the drink.

“Thanks,” I slide it closer to me.

“Remember what I said,” he mumbles as he glances at Elliot and walks away. Did everyone have something against Elliot? But when I look at him he looks too sweet to have ever done something bad enough to hold a grudge. Everything but his eyes, there’s an icy glint to them that wasn’t there before Harry interrupted. The past must be something formidable.

“Let’s go to my table,” Elliot gestures to where he was sitting yesterday. I follow with mixed feelings. Eventually, I decide I was just here for fun. It wasn’t that serious.

***

Dawn creeps on the horizon, and I’m surprised to see it as Elliot helps me into my coat.

“How has it been hours?” I ask as I slip my hands in. “We’ve been talking for so long!”

“I guess so,” Elliot lets go of the jacket and I untuck my hair from underneath. Tonight was...so different than any I’ve ever had. Elliot and I had just talked all night, I barely remember about what. He was funny too. And The Good Folk stayed open with people in and out all night. “It was nice to get to know you.”

“This place is busy as ever, does it ever close?” I glance at the patrons. Some of them don’t even hide their open stare. I was starting to get used to it.

“Closes at sunrise.” Elliot stares.

“Sunrise? It must open late then. That’s an odd schedule.” I think about what Jer said. A place like this would be infamous in London, why had nobody heard of it?

“It’s open sunset to sunrise.”

“Interesting.” I follow Elliot out into the street. The sky is brightening, the midnight black turning into a deep sea blue.

“This is where we part ways Rose.” He says Rose like an enchantment, and my body wants to move closer but I stay where I am. He continues studying me the way he had been all night. I had been studying him too.

“It was really nice. Tonight.”

“I enjoyed myself. Despite the nuisance from early on.”

“Nuisance?” I ask. “Oh. Harry?”

“Harry,” his lip curls. The boyish sweetness bitters before washing away again. “Don’t mind him.”

“Oh I don’t. He helped me out in a pinch yesterday but otherwise I barely know him.”

“In a…pinch?”

“Yeah. It was pretty bad but,” I shrug. “Anyway. I should get home. My friend might start to worry.”

“Of course Rose,” Elliot says. He eyes me for a moment. His brow tightens and he continues, “Maybe I’ll see you again?”

“Maybe,” my heart picks up its pace. “We’ll see.”

His smile stretches his lips, he seemed amused.

With a nod he walks away and turns the corner. I stand there even after I’m unable to see him, and smile into my scarf. I just had an all nighter date with a cute guy who seemed interested in me.

When I tell Jer this he just scoffs.

“Be careful,” he reminds me. “Firstly I’ve never heard of this bar. Secondly how the fuck did this Elliot guy get your address? And thirdly, you don’t get involved with two guys with history. Trust me.”

“Jer,” I roll my eyes. “Okay. The address thing is weird, maybe I said it out loud when I was trying to get a ride home?”

“Still creepy! Hold on-“ he picks up his ringing phone and I wait.

Aside from the address thing, sure. It was a big weird. But Elliot did not give off creepy vibes. I just had to do some more digging if I was interested.

Was I interested? I think of Elliot’s amused blue eyes and blonde hair, his laugh, and the way he made most of the night about me. He didn’t try to kiss me or take me home. We just talked. It was nice.

My mind wanders to Harry. He had taken me home, taken care of everything. Was respectful. But he was kind of overprotective, and aloof. I didn’t care for that.

Elliot was open whereas Harry was hard to read-

“Are you even listening,” Jeremy snaps his fingers in front of my face.

“Huh?” I look up and in the time I had gotten lost in my thoughts, Jeremy had changed into his parka and his boyfriend stands beside him ready to leave.

“Y/N get some rest. I’m worried about you. You can’t just go from one relationship—even if it was a dying one, and hop into a love triangle.”

“Love triangles are messy,” Bryce comments.

“I know! Promise me you’ll take a break. Process your last relationship before you jump into anything new?”

He was right. Of course he was. It had just been such a long time since I felt wanted that I was letting it fuck me up like I was a teen madly in love. I barely knew them. And I’d forgotten all about my cheating ex. On one hand it was good, but I couldn’t slide into anything new.

“Okay. Promise.”

“Good.” Jer sighs. “We’ll be out of your hair by tonight so don’t make me worry about you.”

“What? Why? You two stay the week like I promised!”

“No we need to head back north. He misses the countryside,” Jer points back to his partner.

“The cow shite can wait Bryce, please? Keep me company longer?!”

Jer hugs me against him. “We’ll do lunch today before we’re off okay? Get some sleep though.”

I’ve known Jeremy since I was 11 and he was 10. I had just been placed in a new foster home, the third one I’d been in since I was 6. Jeremy had arrived a month before me, he’d been in the system since he was 9. He had given me the downlow on who to avoid and who was nice, in return I’d stuck up for him when he was picked on. He was a tiny thing then, scrawny and wide-eyed. I had been weathered by the system and didn’t care who was nice and who you had to avoid. I learned after my first home you had to become the person to avoid, and then leave everyone else alone.

We were separated a few years later and found each other on the streets when I was 17 and he was 16. When I turned 18, saved enough money to rent a shitty flat with another girl, I let him crash with me until he could afford his own rent.

We always looked out for each other. He was one of 3 people I considered family. So when he gives me advice, I take it.

***

“No I’m telling you she works at Boots and she complimented my eyeliner.” Jer bangs the table. We’re sat at lunch, a couple day drinks in. “I was like bitch you spat on me when we were 12 and called me ten different kind of slurs!”

“Shut up!” I cover my mouth. “I need to see it for myself.”

“Tomorrow. Visit her. I wonder if she’ll recognize you.”

“Probably not. I look pretty different.” These days I dyed my hair a triage of browns and blondes and grew out of my baby face.

“True. She might compliment your hair.”

“She better not. She used to make fun of how frizzy it got-“

“Until you woke her up with scissors over her hair one night.”

“Shh,” I laugh. “Don’t say my crazy so publicly.”

“It’s not your crazy,” Jer grabs my hand. “It’s what kept you alive. Us.”

We grow quiet as the heavier bits of the memories sink in.

“It was tiring,” I slip my hand away. “Always being switched on. Even now, I can’t help it.”

“Until it comes to men. Then my good friend y/n goes poof and this stranger appears.”

I sigh, I had issues. “I can’t help being fucked up. It’s just like, when I sense they want me something inside me lights up. And I tell myself to calm down but all rational thought disappears!”

“Girl trust me I get it. Until I met Bryce, I was sharing beds with so many people.”

“I remember.” Back then it was me picking him up from random parts of town after being kicked out by a spouse home too early, or a partner back from out of town.

“What’s that bloke’s name? Harry was it? He didn’t want you-“

“Ouch! I know!”

“No not like that!” Jer says. “You seemed into him the first night you came back. Even though he wasn’t into you.”

“Yeah. Maybe just cuz he was nice. Why is finding love so hard? I feel like I’m not cut out for it!”

“You want a love that transcends everything because you read too much romance.”

“Stop being dramatic,” I roll my eyes. But it was true, romance novels were my vice. I couldn’t help but believe in true love.

The one thing I knew about my parents is that my mum died in childbirth and my dad died when I was 3 from heartbreak. He loved her more than he could love the sum of the two of them. He left me behind for her. That was true love.

I had a whole of 2 pictures from my life. One of my mum pregnant with me. Another of my mum and dad before they got pregnant I think. The way they looked at each other—I just want a slice of that. I always believed true love existed simply because I knew the story of my parents.

“Okay. Bryce is texting me nonstop let me see what he wants.” Jer leaves me at the table. I sigh and sip my wine, wishing I wasn’t such a hopeless romantic.

It was the part of me that always got hurt. Every other part I had learned to grow armour on but the part of me that yearned never learned how to.

My chest aches as I think about the love I don’t have. I feel it in the air around me as it quivers with something that feels akin to mourning.

“What are you doing?” I hear from the table next to me. There was a couple seated after us, Jer and I guessed they were colleagues. It was a game we liked to play—guessing the lives of people around us. We’d done it as long as we could remember.

The woman slides her hand up the man’s arm. He’s the one that asked the question. He doesn’t seem into it.

“Sorry,” Jer says, sitting back down just as the woman jerks back.

“I uh-“ she pushes her chair back. “Sorry I don’t know what-“

“Uh oh,” I look at Jer. “They just blurred some coworker lines.”

“No it’s okay. Mags wait-“ the guy manages to her back in her seat and they talk too low to hear.

“Juicy,” we eye them for a few seconds.

“Bryce is picking me up in 15, we need to start heading back otherwise we’ll be driving in traffic.”

“I wish you stayed the week.” I pout.

“Your 1.5 bedroom flat isn’t big enough for all of us. Call me when you finally get that promotion and buy a bigger flat.”

“You’ll be the first person I call. You know that.”

“I know that.” He smiles.

“When will you be in town next?”

“Not for a while unless my best friend decides to do something stupid.”

“I won’t,” I promise him. “Maybe I’ll come up to you in November.”

“Open invitation.” Jer reminds me.

I go home to an emptier flat, it makes me feel more lonely than I should. I never had a lot of people in my life, I’d grown accustomed to being alone. To loneliness.

But as an adult, the pangs dug in just as deep.

I soothe it by falling asleep early.

All I remember of my dreams are intense colours and emotions, vibrant landscapes and a looming sense of dread. I wake up drenched in sweat, the second time that week that my dreams were that intense. Maybe I should be visiting a doctor.

***

I feel like I’m wasting potential as I sit in my flat on a Friday night. I had been laying on my couch for the last two hours, first scrolling through my phone, then being jumpscared by a post from my ex, then zoning out to a movie, before going back on my phone.

The cycle is vicious. And all I can think of is Elliot. No. I couldn’t think of Elliot.

Maybe I should join one of those dating apps. Hopeless romantic looking for true love, but also dtf to fill the time.

God. I was miserable.

Something inside me is drawn to go back to the pub. To the patrons that loved to stare. To the pair of eyes I didn’t mind stared.

“Jer said no.” I say out loud. Well, he didn’t say no. Just not to do anything rash. To process my emotions. “Fine.”

I continue laying on my couch. Let my ex flit through my mind. I thought I loved him. I think I just liked the idea of him. After the initial lover phase, we were really in two different places all the time.

I sink deeper into the couch. Who have I loved? Have I ever lover anyone romantically?

I remember a guy I dated when I was 24. It lasted 8 months and 14 days. Jer had had to sleep on the couch for a week because the day I was broken up with I’d found my way to his flat, crashed on his bed, and stayed glued onto his mattress.

Until he had to physically carry me into a shower and spray me with water. But that’s another story.

He was the closes thing I felt to love. To loved. He moved to Mexico. I remember he told me it was wrong timing. I remember thinking I was cursed.

I sink further and further into the couch.

I was 28 and never really loved anyone. How pathetic was that?

Suddenly I can’t breathe. It feels like the couch was drowning me whole like quicksand.

Even pulling myself out feels like quicksand, I use all my strength to sit up and only then do my lungs inflate with a deep breath.

“Holy fuck.” I gasp.

What the fuck was that!?

I look back at my couch but it looks back the exact same. It felt like it was swallowing me moment earlier. What the fuck!

I had to get out of here.

That’s how I find myself at the local corner store buying junk, and browsing the crisps.

“Sweet tooth?”

“Huh?” I nearly jump at the sight of Elliot. “Wha-Elliot?”

“Rose.”

“What are you…are you stalking me?”

“Stalking?”

“What are you doing here?”

He tucks his hands in his pockets, that’s when I note how casual he was dressed. Slacks and a half-zip.

“I was at a party nearby,” his eyes flicker over the items in my hand.

“Weird coincidence.” He knew my address, I knew that.

“It might appear that way. What are you doing now?”

“Um…” I glance down at my hands. “Buying…stuff.”

“Want to join us? The party’s by the water.”

If it was a fake party he wouldn’t be inviting me. Unless he was going to take me to a second location to do something worse.

“I’m busy so…”

“Oh. My apologies.” He gets formal very quickly but his eyes crinkle with a smile, the blueish grey drawing me in. “I’ll let you get on.”

“Well,” he wasn’t pushy. Maybe I should see this party. See the people he hung out with. “Maybe I can drop by for a little bit? It’s nearby?”

“10 minute by walking.”

“I don’t need this then,” I pool my items onto a random shelf. “We can go when you want.”

He goes to the front with his items and at the last second I buy a pack of cigarettes. I tried to drop the habit many times but ever since I got back from my vacation I’d picked it up again. I tried not to blame my ex.

“Those aren’t very good for you.” Elliot eyes the pack as I slip them into my pocket.

“You’re telling me you’ve never smoked a cigarette in your life?”

“I have. It doesn’t taste very good.”

“I don’t think they’re supposed to taste good,” I can’t help but laugh.

“So what are they good for?” He asks and it’s so bizarre because he seemed genuinely curious about it.

“Um? Stress relief? Comfort?”

“Sounds like something a lover should offer.”

I nearly walk into traffic when he says it. So bluntly. Kind of like how Harry spoke. I wonder if they just grew up so rich they were from another world.

“Sure if you have one. Lovers are fleeting and temporary. Cigarettes—they’re permanent. Until I guess…you fuck your lungs up so much you become fleeting and temporary. Shit sorry.”

Elliot looks at me with confusion, like I was speaking an alien language. Maybe he didn’t get the joke. I dunno. I grow quiet instead.

“So what exactly is it you do?” I ask after a bout of silence. I can’t remember if he’s told me this in our conversation the other night.

“What do you mean I do?”

“Like in life? To earn money and all that?”

“In life? I lead.”

I glance up at him after the douchey answer. Oh he was serious.

“Cool so you’re like, upper management at your company or like you own the business?”

He cocks his head, “I manage my company yes. But I don’t own anything yet. I report to someone above me.”

“Right.” He was being very literal. And it sounded like nepotism. I didn’t want the headache of knowing what his company did so I don’t bother with more questions.

He leads me down a set of steps and to the canal. People sit along the grassy bank and I’m a bit surprised to see them.

“Elliot my man!” Someone shouts. “Did you bring the beer?”

Elliot holds up a hand holding two cases. I think back, I don’t remember him buying two. But I could have been too busy checking out his backside. I needed help.

“So Rose,” Elliot says after handing the drinks over. “I would like to see you again. Talk some more. Maybe come clean about all this.”

“All what?” I ask.

“The truth of your parents, how you came to The Good Folk-“

“My parents?” What did he know about my parents?

“Yes. You spoke about them the other night.”

“I did?” I blink to clear the cobwebs but I have a hard time recalling exactly what Elliot and I discussed. Mostly just that it was a nice time.

“Rose,” Elliot gets out in front of me and places a hand on my shoulder. His eyes are intense as they bore into me. “I’m not a threat. I was only curious.”

What a weird fucking thing to say.

I pull my cigarettes out. “I need a smoke.”

“Need?” He lets go of my shoulder, eyebrow raised. “Is it all consuming?”

“Sure?” I just needed to step away. There were too many people around for this not to be safe but I wanted space from Elliot. He was being weird.

“Understood.” He backs away. “I’ll wait until the need is satisfied.”

“Thanks?” I mutter. I step away and as soon as I do at least 3 women replace me and tug at him to join their group. His eyes linger on mine as he walks away with them and I look away.

I move further away from the group, closer to the underpass of a small bridge.

I take out a cigarette and place it in my mouth before I pat my pockets, and realize I had no lighter.

Shite.

I note a few people sitting around, a bright dot hovering around their faces. People had lighters. I could ask one of them.

But the more I look at everyone, the more I want to stay in the shadows. What was I doing here? Jer would kill me if he found out. Maybe I should text him. No, he’d freak out. Fuck!

I lean against the stone wall, pressing my lips against the cigarette still dangling in my mouth. The paper glides smoothly between my lips, the familiar smell of tobacco drifting up to my nose.

The air around me grows cooler and I close my eyes, tilting my head back. Trying to ground myself. The stone is uneven behind my head but it doesn’t matter. I feel cloaked in the dark, embraced by it. I feel safe.

I take a few deep breaths, the joint between my lips a prop for the time being.

As my body relaxes and my mind wanders, Harry’s face materializes before me; if I wasn’t so relaxed it might have scared me.

His green eyes search mine like they’d done before. He leans in closer, the darkness surrounding him. The only light comes from a smoke between his own lips. It throws shadows on his cheekbones, making him look like he was carved from marble.

We’re locked in a staring contest but it doesn’t feel weird. He’s part of the darkness, staring into his eyes keeps me grounded.

He leans down, closer to me. The orange tip of his cigarette touches mine and I can even feel the heat of it, smell the smoky air around us.

I inhale slowly, its an intimate gesture—him giving me light. My smoke catches fire and he leans away with a small smirk, away until the darkness swallows him and I’m alone again.

I take in a deep breath to sigh but smoke shoots down my throat.

I throw my eyes wide open as I cough. The cigarette goes flying out of my mouth and my eyes water.

“What the fuck?” I cough out uncontrollably.

My cigarette lies on the ground in front of me, dying embers on its tip.

What. I crouch down and it really is mine. How could that be?

I hold it to my lips and inhale. Exhale.

It was lit.

I whip my head around, was Harry here? Did I not imagine that?

But the closest person is making out with someone else on the other side of the bridge. No one had been here. Unless they’d lit it while I had my eyes closed and walked away.

A chill goes up my spine.

I had to go home. This was getting weird.

When I tell Elliot I was going to go home he’s flanked by half a dozen girls. They look at me with disdain but I ignore it. I was used to looks like that.

“You had your cigarette?” Elliot asks.

“Yeah. Oh. Sorry I didn’t offer one. Did you want-“

“That’s not my smoking preference,” he smiles and he’s the man in the pub again. Kind eyes and an infectious smile. “Meet me at the pub one of these nights Rose?”

“I can’t promise anything,” I play with the pack in my pocket, eager to leave.

“I don’t expect you to,” Elliot says seriously.

“Okay. Well. I’ll try to make it.”

“Great.”

I leave behind a weary smile and hitch it back home.

***

I wake up again drenched in sweat. This whole week I’d been having intense dreams, but all I remember when I wake up is how chaotic it was. The rest slips away like sand in the breeze. It’s frustrating because they feel similar, like I should be remembering what they’re saying.

“Have you been smoking pot?” Lydia asks. I’m back at work that Monday and I’m detailing to my friend who’s serving me my coffee.

Lydia and I met in uni when we were 19. Like all people, I’d been wary and guarded with her back then. But she’d been persistent and earned my trust somehow. We’d been best friends since. I’d watched her come up with and execute this idea of owning her own cafe all on her own. It was London’s top 5 book cafes. And even though it was out of my way I tried to come here most days for coffee.

“No, but it’s making me sleep so shitty.” I complain. “I wish I could just pop a nyquil and call it quits for the night.”

“I can hook you up with magnesium? It’s supposed to be superb.”

I grab my cup from her, “I’ll get super drunk tonight. Blackout for free.”

“Not alone,” she comes around the counter and hugs me. “You were mia this last week. I’m coming over with wine tonight and you catch me up on it.”

I sigh and agree. It would be a lot to cover.

The work day is lost in the bustle of catching up and meetings. By the time I see Lydia again I feel like someone could tip me over and I’d crash. But after putting on some face masks and pouring a generous helping of wine I settle in and tell her all about it.

“So mysterious,” she says when I’m done. Obviously I leave out the weird parts, like the pub moving physically and having my cig light up on its own because I’m not even entirely sure it happened. “The Harry guy seems like a gentleman. The other bloke seems a bit too coincidental to not be creepy.”

“But Harry was being so possessive.”

“Pink flag?” Lydia asks.

“Maybe. Jer said to stay away from it all. Honestly I need a man break? I think after my last relationship I just need to be alone again. I’ve been trying to fill the hole of loneliness with who I can date next. It’s gross.”

“It’s not gross,” she nudges me. “It’s human. Wanting connection.”

“Yeah,” I think on it. “I guess it is. Lord knows I didn’t get enough of it as a child.”

“There you go. We can’t help it. But maybe I agree with Jer? Lay off the relationships. Doesn’t mean you can’t do the horizontal mambo with whoever you want.”

“Dee!” I laugh. “Why do you have the worst names.”

She smirks behind her wine glass, probably considering it a win for making me laugh.

She stops herself early since she had to get back home and I carry the remains of the bottle to bed. Wine made me sleepy and just the same I knock out shortly after. And I don’t wake with a fright the next morning but as my dreams drift away I know they were crazy. This time I remember something about sticks. Random but I remember.

As I ride the tube to work I try to keep a reign on my hangover. I’d had plenty of water last night and popped some painkillers this morning yet my vision is blurry and everyone looks hazy around the edges.

I look to the woman sitting in front of me. She looked pleasant enough but there’s a ring of gray around her that bleeds into the pink of a little boy sitting next to her. His feet don’t quite hit the ground and they swish back and forth. It’s mesmerizing actually and I nearly miss my stop.

You’d think it gets better but the haziness stays the whole day. I should book an eye doctor too, I think somewhere in my brain. Whatever Lydia brought over last night was strong.

On Friday night Lydia invites me over to her place. She had a few friends over that was part of her couple group—her and partner Damon. And I hung out with them occasionally. With not much else to do I join them.

The week had been taxing and I’d had random bursts of feeling off throughout but I never got sick. Googling anything just told me I should rest, that I should expect a migraine after seeing these bursts of colours, that maybe I had a tumour. But nothing pans out.

“Ouch,” Damon says when he opens the door to me.

“That’s rude.” I shove the bottle I brought in his chest and move past him. I hear Lydia humming in her room and head straight to it.

“Something fucked up happened in the flat nex-“ She gasps when she sees me. “Y/N! Love are you alright!?”

“I’m fine—no I’m not. I think I’m going mad. Like proper mad.”

“No sit. Sit!” She pats her bed and kneels in front of me. “Damo can you get Y/N some water!?”

“Sorry. I wasn’t going to show. But I thought sitting in my flat would be worse-“

“Are you sick?” She lays a hand on my forehead. “Your temp’s alright.”

“I’m not sick! The doctor’s won’t prescribe me anything because I’m not anything! I’ve just had the shittiest sleep of my life the last week, I keep getting these weird migraine symptoms without the migraines, and I keep thinking I see something in the corner of my eye and I don’t! Nothing’s there!”

That was something that was new yesterday. Shapes moving around me but when I look everything is normal and still.

“Fuck!” Damon walks into the room just as the glass he’s holding breaks. “What the-“

“Nobody move!” Lydia screeches and I am so on edge I nearly scream at her to quiet down. “Damon what the actual fuck!?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t drop it it literally combusted in my hand.”

“You were probably squeezing it!” Dee accuses him.

“It was probably after getting one look at her,” Damon points to me. I flip him off and lay back onto the bed. I couldn’t even offer any help to pick up the glass.

I take a deep breath in, and out. In. And out.

I drift off, I imagine myself in the clouds, drifting through the air. I imagine a clean gust of air flowing into my lungs. And then out.

When I finally come back to reality Damo is emptying the glass into the bin and Lydia is dragging a wet rag across the floor.

“I’m sorry,” I sit up. “I should help.”

“No.” Damon holds his hand up at the same time Lydia does. “Just go to sleep if you need it. Just don’t worry about this. Or the party. Seriously y/n.”

“Yeah,” Dee puts her hands on her hips. “We’re worried about you. Just take it easy.”

“I feel a bit better. I just needed a moment. Riding the tube had been sensory overload lately.”

“Stay in our guest bed tonight,” Dee offers, glancing at Damon who nods. “Change of scenery.”

As Lydia’s friends arrive I take my spot amongst them. I engage in light catching up, I wasn’t against socializing but tonight I mostly listen.

I try to ignore the way the room changes around the people who talk. Sometimes it feels comforting and orange and other times the temperature drops and it feels like everything is metallic. It sounded mental but that’s how it felt.

The more I drink the more the colours come back.

Lydia’s is like a sunset and as the night goes on it deepens. Damon’s is like Christmas lights, red bleeding into a deep green.

A few friends have similar colours, others complement each other’s. I wonder for a brief moment if anything I ate had pot but nobody says anything.

As the company loosens, I step outside for a smoke.

Halfway through one, I hear the door open behind me and close.

“Doing that again?”

I turn to the familiar face. Sean, I’d known him since final year at uni. We’d been casual friends but with him being Damon’s brother we interacted frequently enough it was more than casual with how much we knew about each other but we weren’t friends enough to ever hang out alone. He’s actually how Damon and Dee met.

“I’m gonna stop.”

“Like always.”

“If you followed me out here to judge me I’m good.”

“I didn’t. I just got here and I saw you alone outside.” He walks up next to me. He brings with him warmth and even though it’s not too cold outside I can’t help but savour it.

“You got here late.” I comment. “You want one?”

“I quit last year y/n.” He reminds me.

“So did I,” I say wryly. He cracks a smile, it’s toothy. The same smile he’s always had.

“One of my friends had a kid a few weeks ago. I was dropping some food off, ended up staying too long.”

“Wow. A kid huh?” I knew people my age—hell, people younger than me, were settled with children. I just couldn’t imagine it.

“Yeah.” He blows air out of his cheeks. “When he first told me he was pregnant I actually said What are you gonna do?!”

“Oh shit,” I look at him. “Was he upset?”

“He thought it was funny,” he glances back to me. “I forget we’re closer to 30 than 20 these days.”

“Tell me about it.”

Sean brushes his hair back, he tended to grow it out and then surprise everyone and shave it every so often. I wondered when the next surprise would be.

The longer I look at him the more his edges light up. It’s a deep blue, it blends into the night but when he steps back against the balcony doors it’s easier to see. It spreads outwards into a purple.

Sean glances back into the house and back to me.

“Are you thinking it’ll be those two next?”

“Huh?” I realize it looks like I was looking inside rather than around him. “Oh. Those two? Maybe not next but soon.”

“She keeps pushing the wedding date. Settling on one I mean.” Sean says. I raise my brow and he explains. “My brother told me. What’s up with that?”

A ripple of something flows through me. It aches a little. I step back to a chair and sit down.

I think about everything I knew about Lydia. I knew why. We all had childhood problems—her mum was trapped in her relationship with Dee’s dad and the Lydia I knew told me she would never sign a contract to keep a relationship. It had surprised the hell out of me when she said yes a couple years ago. But I guess she was now coming around to realizing she would have to give up the one thing she swore she’d never do.

“Damon probably knows about Dee’s parents,” I say. “Maybe tell him to jog his brain a little. Put the pieces together.”

Sean chokes out a laugh. “Okay. Whatever that means. Hey what about you? What happened to office guy?”

“That’s over,” I say.

“Shit. I’m gonna grab a drink first. Then I want to hear about it.”

“There’s nothing to…” Sean’s gone before he can hear me out. I sigh. I came out here to be alone.

I look out to the view, I would never get tired of this city. Its streets ran through me like my veins. I loved it here.

I can see the train going past and I think of the people on it. People with so many different colours.

I hear sniffling and look to the door but Sean’s still not back.

I turn to the divider behind me. It sounded like it was coming from there. I inch back and it’s distinct. Someone on the other side of this balcony was crying.

“Hello?” I call out. But they don’t respond. Oh god, what was neighbourly etiquette? Do i acknowledge it or ignore it?

Wait. I wasn’t even a neighbour here.

I walk to the edge and lean over so I can get a look into the balcony. I was right. A woman with cropped hair and a pantsuit on cries into her hand.

“Hey, sorry I don’t mean to intrude but-“

I gasp when she looks up at me. So does she. Her eyes are pools of black. Or it looks that way in the light. She swivels her head behind her but there’s nobody there. She looks back to me and points to herself.

“Yeah! You!” I laugh. “What’s wrong? Are you alright? Are you safe?”

“I-“ she takes a step back. “Who-“

“I don’t live here. Sorry i know I’m being nosey,” I let her know. “I just heard you crying and-“

“I’m not okay,” the woman has a thick accent. It sound Baltic. “How do you see me?”

“Uhh,” I try to make sense of her question and answer, hoping I didn’t lose it in her translation. “You look sad. You’re crying obviously you’re sad I just-“

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispers.

“What do you mean?”

“I stay here or I move on. I’m scared.”

“Oh. Move on like move out? Where are you moving?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know

“Well where are the people you love? Who love you?” I always imagined leaving this city, this country. Build a life far away. But every time it came back to being close to the few I loved or not. And every time I chose them.

“Here.” She sniffles. “In the end I wanted to stay.”

“If it matters to you, I’d vote stay. But I also don’t know your life so-“

“Y/n?”

“Huh?” I whip my head to the sound of my name. Sean closes the door behind him, two beers in hand, concern etched into his face.

“Are you…talking to someone?”

“Oh yeah,” I whisper. “The woman there seemed upset.”

I lean over again to apologize but she’s gone. Damnit.

“Nevermind. She left.”

“Are you fucking with me? There was a woman there?” Sean asks.

“Yeah! I just wanted to make sure she was alright.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Didn’t you hear? About next door?”

“What?”

“The woman next door attempted…yknow. To end her life. But since we’re on the second floor it…she’s like, in the hospital now. On life support.”

“What?” My heart sinks. Lydia was saying something fucked up when I walked in. Is that what it was? “Maybe that was her sister crying? Or her lover?”

“No it’s empty. It’s got tape all over it until police clear it.”

My heart sinks even lower. I feel it like a lead weight. Who was the woman I was talking to?

“Anyway tell me about your tragedy,” Sean hands me a beer and I take it, my mind still reeling from the news.

“Um. It’s not really one. The relationship fizzled out.”

“Really? That’s it?”

“Well what about you? Last Christmas I heard you were dating a hot goth?”

“Who said that? Damo?”

“Maybe? So?”

“No! I brought her to a party but it wasn’t serious. And she wasn’t a goth. Just wore all black jeez.”

I laugh and the colours on the edge of Sean melt into pink. It’s a pretty sight even if it’s just in my head.

“I haven’t been all that lucky in love,” Sean sighs. He glances back inside. “But I look at my brother and think if he can find it I can too.”

It makes me laugh. Sean and I have always teamed up to shit on Damo for no other reason than it was fun. I never had siblings growing up and the dynamic, I imagine, felt like one.

“Do you see kids in the future?” He asks out of nowhere.

“Woah. Um. I don’t know. I can’t imagine it honestly, with the childhood I had…”

Sean nods. “I think you’d actually understand exactly what a child would need. I think you’d be good raising a child.”

“Maybe,” I shrug. “I think I’m also going insane so right now it’s a no.”

He chuckles. “Was that part of your insane bit? Talking to a ghost next door?”

When he says the G word a shiver travels down my spine. I remember the stranger seemed surprised I was talking to her.

No. It couldn’t be. I didn’t even believe in ghosts. The police must have lifted the tape. It was her relative or something.

“I think I’m a little drunk.” I change the subject.

“How are you getting home?” Sean asks.

“Might crash here. I…I think I’m actually going inside now.”

“Oh-oh yeah okay,” Sean steps aside so I can walk past him. He was like a human furnace with how warm he was. I leave him outside and head straight to the guest room. I couldn’t stay here. I didn’t want to worry my friends or do something crazy. The woman next door freaked me out too much.

I grab my jacket and purse and sneak out, texting Lydia an apology once I start walking home.

I thought about taking the train but I couldn’t handle the people. If I walked for a half hour there was a bus that was 10 minutes to my flat.

So I walk in the quiet night, interrupted by the occasional car or group of friends. I spot a fox as I walk and keep to my side of the street. I watch the silhouettes of the trees move gently in the light breeze, I watch as squares of light flick on or off as its inhabitants live their lives. I feel apart of it and outside of it.

I’ve always viewed the world this. I always feel I was this way—apart of something bigger but also on the periphery. Maybe it was growing up in the foster system, or simply always wearing my armour in order to survive. All I ever wanted was people. People to call all my own. Where I was so deep into something bigger that I never questioned where I stood.

Nearly to the bus stop I hear a familiar tune in the air. My palms go clammy as I follow it. I know where I was going to end up. But I was in a completely different part of town. So it was actually impossible.

And there it is. The Good Folk.

What the fuck was this sorcery.

The cherry on top: standing outside arguing with a woman was Harry.

My feet lead me without a single thought in my head.

[splatooshy]

a peek into my notes app.

file: 🧛‍♀️😜

tvdu oneshots mixed with opinions. completely different from my ‘tvdu opinions’ file and my ‘bloody hell! silly oneshots’ files. this is only 1/4 of the file.

damon in guyliner

y’all the witches go on about how vampire evil vampire must be stopped and then they take away someone’s magic for stopping said vampire

Damon just licked his lips in anticipation. "Oh, you know how I like having things pushed inside me, don't you?"

“You can’t avoid me forever, Damon!” Elena warned. “Maybe so,” he admitted, “but I’m still gonna try.” He darted around her, blurring towards the staircase and sliding down the banister, mentally shouting ‘parkour’ in his head. Damn. He’d been spending too much time around the little Gilbert. And teenagers in general. “Parkour!” Jeremy cheered from the couch, cradling a bowl of cereal like it was a newborn. Yup. Too much time around teenagers, Damon thought as he rolled his eyes.

“I just don’t get it,” Matt grumbled confusedly as Caroline walked away. She wanted to talk to him. Now she was walking away? First Stefan yanked Elena from him and now Tyler had taken Caroline. He and Elena had been on the verge of getting back together until Stefan showed up and stole her away. And just when he was seriously reconsidering his breakup with Caroline, Tyler was suddenly swooping in and taking her from Matt. It wasn’t fair.

ok but the locker rooms at the batting cages in denver 🤭

“Pretty boy?” Stefan spluttered. “Well, you are kinda pretty.” Elena shrugged into the mirror as she applied eyeshadow. “She's not wrong, brother.” Damon piped up from the doorway. “You’re a little bit pretty.” He patted his brother on the cheek and went to join Elena at the mirror, snatching her eyeliner with a triumphant grin. “I'm not pretty!” Stefan denied with a small whine. “Not compared to me, no.” Damon smiled sweetly, turning to reveal those blue eyes, now rimmed with black kohl.

s1 damon / eternal teenager verse: “Why is it she’s always telling you to leave her alone when she’s the one seeking you out?”

damon: “My father used to say I had the devil in me, but really it was just my riding instructor.”

someone (jeremy) gets runic tattoos with elena’s doppelganger blood because they want to be the avatar.

“Oh my god, it’s a room full of Elijah’s.” “I had that exact same nightmare once.” OKAY but put that line in tvd and Damon then goes “Really? I had a sex dream about that.”

“you really are quite the little slut, aren’t you, Damon?” The velvety croon of Elijah’s cultured voice makes it sound all the more dirty, and Damon can’t help but let out a small moan as he nods. “Very good,” the Original murmurs, and oh fuck. Elijah can do whatever he wants with Damon as long as he keeps talking like that.

“That’s so hot.” - Damon, every day. Alternatively: “Anyone else a little turned on right now?” // any time he gets pinned to a wall, he whispers “traitor” to his dick.

sassy elijah vs sassy damon except they kiss.

“Now, what am I going to do with you?” “Something terribly naughty, I hope.” delijah.

dabekah are essentially cats. very sassy ones. like a slinky black cat and a fluffy white one

idk some wedding, kol gets confused with american accents and brings a bear trained to carry rings

compel the president to make random holidays

kol and rebekah watch the hunger games and decide to do a real life version, compelling the tributes

“Klaus and Stefan pulling another devious act,” Klaus gleefully mumbles, high on the wolfsvain(™️) joints Damon and Kol had invented. Stefan just stares at him for a minute, silence filling the room as they blink in tandem.

 elijah walks into the boarding house, kisses the girls on their hands. damon holds out his expectantly, and smiles deviously when elijah actually kisses it.

[raewritesfiction]

The Deputy [Jeremy Renner]

A/N: I watched the video for “Trouble” by Pink and it gave me this idea. Still…. ACAB. I know he plays the Sheriff in the video but for this he’s the Deputy! Also the daughter’s name was picked at random via a Google generator.

Plot: You’re locked in a cell in the Wild Wild West but Deputy Renner has a soft spot for you.

Pairing: Deputy! Jeremy Renner x Female!Reader

Warnings: Smut. Sex worker. Lesbianism. Unsafe sex. Handcuffs.

[[ Lemme know if you wanna be added or removed from tags; no questions asked ♥️ likes are amazing however I really appreciate Reblogs to help spread my writing further! Thank you 🌈😘]]

Tag List: @thegreatlarryfisherman @iraniq @snewsome756 @vikki-rogue @amelia-in-w0nderland @pandaliciouz @crispyimagines17 @marie-is-blogging @bonniebird @nutinanutshell @louise-buchan @differentcatcat @madsadgenius @dreamlesswonder86 @purplerain85 @lipstickandtanqueray @kandis-mom @melaclintbartoncorner @mcugeekposts @kcthescreamqueen

—

You sigh loudly just to piss off the Sheriff as he goes off duty and switches with his Deputy; you blow the man in charge a kiss “say hello to Scarlett for me!”

“That bitch stays put!” He says to the Deputy and walks out mumbling under his breath.

You’d get nowhere with the Sheriff but the Deputy…. Deputy Renner had a soft spot for you since you came to town and you were more than willing to use your own soft spot to your advantage.

The Deputy smiles at you behind the cell bars and shakes his head “ma’am… just what did you?”

“Hello Deputy Renner.” You wink “well… it seems I was caught stealin’ from a client… the thing is it was the heart of the Sheriff's daughter I stole…and he don’t like that none.”

Deputy Renner nods “uh huh…”

“The Sheriff wants Scarlett to marry some big wig in the city. Business type…. So he’s sending her off tonight on the last train of the day.”

“Well ain’t that a pickle?!” He grips onto the bars and flexes his biceps.

“Ain’t it just? I would very much like to leave and see her off… but it seems that I am stuck here in cuffs.” You pout and flutter your lashes at the Deputy.

“I would very much be obliged if you could let me out and although the sheriff took all my coins I can pay in a different way.”

Deputy Renner raises an eyebrow “I see…” re-adjusting his cowboy hat as he walks to the door of the cell you were in. “And how would you pay ma’am?”

“Well I know how badly you’ve been trying to get to my room at my… lodgin’s… but it seems I am always very busy with other clientele. Maybe I could forgo payment just this once to give you a very private experience right here?”

Deputy Renner smirks and licks his lips “well, the sheriff is gone until mornin’… but what do I tell him then?”

“You tell him I slipped my cuffs with a hair pin while you were taking care of business and then escaped my cell the same way… and you’re not in the habit of manhandlin’ a lady like that.”

“Well you have this all thought out don’t ya?” His hand was already unlocking the cell door for you.

“Yes sir, I most certainly do.” You smile and stand, flashing him your most seductive smile.

“You clean…?” He watches you.

“I sure am, it’s why my price is so high.” You nod “my clientele is very select.”

The Deputy nods and motions for you to step out towards him whereupon he guides you back towards the Sheriff’s desk “this would piss him off so badly…”

You nod “in which case I am all for it… and if it’s your thing… you can leave me in the cuffs.”

“Oh I am definitely leavin’ you in the cuffs until we’re done.” The Deputy nods and makes light work of undoing your bodice; it was re-stitched multiple times but it was still a firm favourite of your clients due to the way it made your tits so pronounced.

The Deputy licked his lips at the sight of your bare chest and his hands moved to massage and tease you, watching your nipples harden under his touch. You let out breathless moans and gasps; his name escaping you when his lips close around your nipple and suck lightly before switching to the other side.

You shuffle your legs and squeeze his hips with your thighs “please Deputy Renner…”

“So polite ma’am… I’m not so much when it comes to matters of pussy…” his hands glide up your legs and move the layers of skirts until he gazes at you “well look at that pretty pink pussy… I was almost expecting it to be made of gold the way other men and women talk about it.”

You blush and smile, leaning into his ear and speaking quietly “feels like silk, so I’m told…”

The Deputy moans low and reaches between your legs, sliding his fingers over you until they were slick and then pushing them into you with ease. You throw your head back and moan quietly; you had mastered the art of making the right noises at the right times but the way the Deputy moved his fingers inside you felt like he knew how to please a lady; curling and scissoring, thrusting them slowly then speeding up until you were whining against his ear and rocking your hips to his hand for release. Something you usually had to do for yourself between clients.

He withdraws his fingers and licks them clean, humming and closing his eyes “so sweet…”

You lean panting against him and nibble on his earlobe, wanting nothing more than to touch him but being bound by the cuffs behind your back.

Deputy Renner makes quick work of his belts and pants; pushing them down to free his hardening cock. “Want me to help?” You whisper and nip again.

“On your knees…” he commands

You drop down and open your mouth ready for him, your tongue peaking out over your teeth. His cock tastes a little salty, surely better than most of your clients and you bob your head as you suck along his length, taking little time to feel him harden fully.

“You’re over qualified for this…” he breathes and holds the edge of the desk “get up!” He groans and moves your skirts as you position yourself on the desk again; his hand grips your hip while the other guides his cock into you with ease, “God damn you really do feel as soft as silk…” he groans and pulls you down his length fully, both hands now gripping your hips.

You steady yourself and tighten around him in pulses to tease; a little something that drove other clients wild. The Deputy moans and gasps “keep doing that…” he starts thrusting into you and you’re glad the desk is against a wall for stability; his thrusts are rough and deep but he’s not hurting you like others who do the same. He keeps the pace measured and steady, your pussy coating his cock in your arousal until you’re both a panting mess.

The Deputy watches your tits move on every thrust, mesmerised by their sight and the way your body reacts to him. He watches your nipples harden into sensitive nubs and leans down to suck on them in turn making you whine and moan. Actual moans; you didn’t have to fake anything for the Deputy as he speeds up his hips and reaches to tease your clit - he wasn’t just about his own pleasure. You tightened and relaxed your walls around him as best you could and arched towards him as his teeth scraped over your nipple.

“Oh fuck!” You moan and pant quickly, violently tightening around his cock and pulling him into you with the force of your release. The Deputy grunts roughly and has enough thought to pull out of you, wrapping his hand around himself and jerking himself roughly, moving back as you fall to your knees and throw your head back again. After only moments you feel his hot cum on your bare tits, where his lips had been just seconds ago. His moan is rough and full of pleasure he’d been wanting to release; his jaw was lax and eyes tight shut and his chest heaving.

After a few of minutes, The Deputy is uncuffing you and watching you re-dress yourself.

“Come by anytime and tell them I sent you; I’ll make sure you get a good deal on any lady you like… and I’ll be sure to always have time for you, Deputy.”

He nods and offers a smile “Thank you ma’am… you’d better get running if you’re gonna catch her.”

You nod and leave to the sound of Renner sighing and thanking God.

-Fin-

[lunaryuwu]

Jere defends Mike and kicks ass for the ask thing 👀

I like to imagine Jeremy actually got kung fu training as a kid because his mom made him learn a lot of things and that’s why the Squip said kung fu fists activate because he does have kung fu fists

So he started when he was like six/seven and he got really good at this fighting thing and could defend himself properly if something happened

When Michael and Jeremy were kids(around nine/ten), kids were already talking about crushes and dating and stuff and that’s when Michael told Jeremy he didn’t really see the appeal in girls. He just wasn’t attracted to them. They were still kids so they didn’t know much about sexuality and all that but Jeremy was supportive of Michael

You know how as kids we get stupid crushes that probably wasn’t even a crush because you just liked this random kid after they were nice to you? That happened to Michael and he was infatuated with this other boy in school. Jeremy, as always, was there for Michael, encouraged him to confess like the innocent little kids they were, and Michael did so

They were on this playground or something and Michael bravely confessed to this boy about his feelings, and it was a nice sincere confession before the boy told Michael that he didn’t like him back, which would’ve been fine but he also said that Michael was “disgusting” for liking boys(your classic homophobia). Michael was heartbroken and Jeremy was hiding somewhere watching the scene unfold. He was supposed to just be there for moral support but he had to stand up for Michael. So he jumped out from the bushes or something and defends Michael.

Kids get rough all the time and it all starts with a bit of anger and some pushing around before it escalates into a fistfight(although it’s not a serious one since they’re kids). Jeremy fought back, didn’t get hurt, maybe hurt the other kid a bit before he checks up on Michael who was just watching Jeremy with his jaw dropped. He knows Jeremy got kung fu training but he didn’t know he was that good. And he didn’t know that Jeremy would even stand up for him since he’s super shy

(Imagine Jeremy normally being shy and timid but when it comes to protecting Michael he just kicks ass like a badass. Just starts raising his voice and gets really aggressive, complete opposite of his usual persona) (but he doesn’t defend himself if he gets bullied he just defends Michael) (just. imagine.)

Later on the news that Michael likes boys spread and he was facing a lot of bullying. He wasn’t brave enough to tell his moms so Jeremy would protect him like some bodyguard and help him fight off the bullies. Eventually people stopped bullying him because they were caught, Jeremy’s parents were informed of his violent behavior, the teachers came in, Michael’s parents were also informed and all that.

(Basically, Jeremy is his knight in shining armor)

(This is a short one shot idea in a collection of random ideas that’s just memories of Jeremy and Michael’s past, may or may not be slightly related to each other but can be read separately. If you read it together the timeline might be a little funky but it’ll probably lead to them getting together)

(I’m still thinking if this should be a could be read as platonic/romantic or just straight up romantic so the boyf riends part of this is still undecided)

Other wips over here for the ask game!

[rachaeljurassic]

So, I'm five episodes in, having a blast. So I guess it's first impressions time.

Phryne - glorious and yes, definitely Jenny in the 20's (and did I mention how much I have always loved the 20's). Jenny needed some of those outfits, she'd have slayed. But I digress. So, clearly came from a poor background and a nurse during the war. Some troubling stuff has been hinted at and I guess we'll find out some day. I love the fact that she just does her thing and hang the rest. I love that she sees something (or someone) she wants and takes it (him). I am outraged at how many people seem to think that they can shoot at her, manhandle her and hit her with books, crow bars and the like. Up with this I shall not put! Anyway, she's 😍 Hard to pick a favourite moment but swinging off the back of a train was a highlight

Jack - I love his face, and yes, he has the same still-waters-run-deep feel as Giles, the same soft and somewhat sad face. Giles needs Jack's hats and that long coat, I swear to god!! But back to Jack. Also in the war, clearly not a good time :/ and now we have it, his wife has essentially left him. Damn that ending. They both know that's fucked that then 😭 Of course that won't stop them invading each other's personal space and sharing drinks and confidences, and generally driving each other (and me) insane. Not liking his wife that much right now 😡 maybe we'll get more on that. Anyway, he has a certain air of melancholy that I ALWAYS find attractive. AND he's a trouble making ex-striker, marvelous 😁 Favourite moment - any time he has to bite his lip around Phryne

Dot - sweeite, ridiculously brave, terrible clothes, good taste in men, a rock, possibly needs to stop praying for Hugh to turn Catholic lol NOBODY HURTS DOT I WILL COME DOWN ON THEM SO HARD 😡Favourite moment - manipulating Bert and Cec into working together, any time she gets embarrassed over Hugh

Hugh - sunshine, also a sweetie, love how Phryne is helping him look impressive in front of Jack (even though Jack is TOTALLY on to that). Probably needs to know when NOT to blurt out all the info to Phryne if he wants to continue to impress Jack (although he doesn't seem to mind that much in the end) Favourite moment - him seeing her with lipstick on, poor boy

Mr Butler - mind reader, ready for anything, has taken to Phryne remarkably well, could have been a bit of a cliched disapproving butler, so glad he's not, I like the slight hints at the relationship between him and Dot - Favourite moment - him having the right vase ready for the flowers

Jane - so glad she got adopted 😁 I love that Phryne backs her up and that Jane is a super sluth too. Nobody better come near her or I will throw hands! Favourite moment - giving Phryne the diary

Aunt P - As a long time fan of Miriam Margolyes I LOVE HER. MM does disapproval so well (which is hysterical given her personality - I was listening to Radio 4 recently when she was talking about Jeremy Hunt (the original rhyming slang), and I quote “The thing is, when I saw him there, I just said, ‘you’ve got a hell of a job, best of luck’. And what I really wanted to say was, ‘fuck you, bastard’. But you can’t say that!” I lmfao) Favourite moment - damn that's hard, any time she looks outraged by Phryne

Bert and Cec - I'll be honest, I don't know which is which but they're great guys, who I always enjoy, and Phryne definitely needs them watching her back!!!! Favourite moment - being hood winked into helping Phyrne move house

And Doctor Mac 😍 I love her clothes, I love the way she sits, I hate that she's not in it much. Come back to me Doctor Mac 🥰🥰🥰 jhggjhghjk walking around in those suits and waistcoats, how dare you ma'am! Sciencing. All of it

Favourite episode - possibly the train one (I'm not sure, was that 1x03? I don't know the titles in English I'm afraid). I mean it had the first no-understanding-of-personal-space moment that was 100% blatant IMO lol (although the 1x04 gratin moment diserves an honourable mention and elevates that entire episode 😁). tbh I've thoroughly enjoyed them all

🥰

[mockingbirdshymn]

way too many camp camp headcanons? why not

part seven: nikki

she has adhd but i think we all probably knew that

dyslexia!! she has dyslexia and it pisses neil off to no end when she spells something wrong. she thinks its funny

step-siblings nikki and neil!!! their parents eventually got together and nikki begged neil's dad to get her a bunk bed to share with neil. neil is not happy with this arrangement

lesbian nikki. you cannot look at her and think shes even slightly straight. "juliet should've done karate instead of kissing boys. maybe she wouldn't have died then." you are so right nikki

nikki has a pet bearded dragon, a fish tank, a terrarium of pet frogs, and a pet pigeon. she begged her mother for all of the animals and eventually her mother relented. the pigeon is one she grabbed from the streets on the way back from some store with her mother and snuck into her house, and said pigeon loves nikki to death. the pets' names are...

Bearded Dragon - Bernred. she spelled bearded as bernred and decided that was the name. neil suggested she named it bernard instead, because that's an actual name, but she hissed at him like a rabid cat

Fish - John, Jason, Josh, Jim, Jeremy, and Clark. nikki named clark different because "he's adopted". all of the fish are technically adopted.

Frogs - The Croaker, The Ribbler, and Batman. neil is frustrated at how batman's name isnt a pun. she just says she couldnt think of one

Pigeon - Seagull. this is because her mother called it a seagull at first and she found that funny

she has trained seagull the pigeon to attack at her command. she uses this to her advantage

nikki requires every house she lives in to have a foresty area in the backyard

carl made nikki a treehouse as a gift. nikki had never been so excited about something before. she sleeps in the treehouse sometimes, despite candy and carl's protests.

nikki nearly fails every one of her classes, except for science, somehow. she barely passes close enough to make it to the next grade. sometimes, neil gets so frustrated he does her schoolwork for her when she gets an obvious answer wrong.

nikki is pretty affectionate to her new step-brother, because she always wanted a sibling. she gives neil rocks and sticks and leaves she finds cool. she was under the impression he usually threw them out after she gave them to him, but when trying to find something or other in their room, she found a hidden box full of all the sticks, leaves, and rocks she'd given him before.

nikki wants to be a zoologist when she's older, because she thinks she'd be good at it. (she ends up becoming one, and a pretty well-known one because of her ability to handle even the most feared of animals. like hippos. up close)

nikki idolizes ered, but as they get older, they become better friends with more of an equal dynamic.

ered, nerris and her have a 'girls night out' every so often. when nerris told them they were non-binary and went by she/they, nikki changed it to 'girls night out plus nerris', even though nerris said they were fine with it not changing

nikki hangs out with dolph and nerris as much as she can. they still get into adventures, but never get much done during them. they still have fun doing their adventures, which is what matters most.

nikki and nerris' mothers do not like each other

nikki insisted the camp campbell campers stayed connected in some way, and made the first group chat, titled: "Probably Entitled to Financial Compensation"

every halloween, nikki forces max, neil and her to do matching costumes.

max, david, and gwen are invited to a new year's eve 'party' with nikki, neil, and their parents. the party is just them watching tv, playing board games, setting off fireworks for an hour and a half, eating junk food and staying up till midnight. its become their collective tradition, one they wouldnt miss for the world despite how some claim it's boring or they hate it.

nikki balances neil's anxiety by pushing him to be more confident, and neil balances nikki's wildness by making sure she doesn't do anything too risky

nikki's favorite food is a pb&j sandwich

nikki's favorite color is red "like blood"

nikki is always energetic, and on christmas morning wakes everyone in her family up at 5:30am to unwrap presents

nikki generally wakes up before anyone else in the house

nikki has a nintendo 2ds, on which she plays pokemon X and only pokemon X. her starter is froakie

nikki, who has the top bunk of her and neil's bunk bed, has blankets strung up from the ceiling as fort walls

the only books nikki likes to read are comics

[loveabledirtbag]

Sheridan 1.05

i feel like the show starting right off the back with sydney in bed tells us, the audience, “oh, this is gonna be different”.

the quick cuts! seeing meal inspo, flashbacks to syd’s failed business. done so well to show us how protrusive the thoughts are

i love the sort of storied, layered tension of syd’s bedroom. because it’s obvious it’s her childhood bedroom, but also…how much of it has she updated as an adult? some of it? none of it? it feels like a child’s room. i also remember the first time seeing syd’s bedspread and thinking, “OH, is syd queer!?!?!?” remains to be seen, but at this point it’s probably rainbow because it’s her childhood bed. not because she’s queer

SO MANY DRUGS IN HER BATHROOM CABINET

i love that the two posters we see really clearly are: speed (which came out in ‘94), and jumping jack flash (which came out in ‘86). who is sydney? when was she born? why are these two movies on her wall. it clearly means something, the creators chose these posters so it has to mean something…but what???

i remember hearing from someone that the train station where syd gets on is really close to where the Mr. Beef (the exterior used for The Beef, and inspiration for it) is located. couldn’t say if that’s true or not, but if it is that’s kinda disappointing. obviously tv and movies have to do what they can with time and shooting locations, so maybe they had to shoot there. but the shows tries so hard to submerge us all into a sense of reality in the show that knowing sydney is a two minute walk from work as she’s boarding a train is disappointing.

the quick little camera work of carmy’s hands up to his face. just to prove that jeremy allen white is actually cooking

“a play on ‘Tongue & Cheek’” “ox tongue?” “or braised beef, maybe short rib…risotto?”…but then how is it a play on tongue & cheek, and not just…a dinner menu/dish?

here’s the beginning of the risotto storyline. and all the misery it entails!

carmy tells marcus to use scissors to cut the tape….but the tape dispenser has a blade. why was marcus ripping it in the first place? why does carmy say to cut it with scissors? the BLADE IS RIGHT THERE

idk why, but the toilet exploding is SO relatable to working at a shitty restaurant. why do so many toilets explode? i’ve never experienced a toilet exploding anywhere else in my life

“what is up you fucking replicants” richie’s phillip k. dick references are strong

ebra telling carmy there are many components to the new dish he’s showing them is really fitting with ebra’s storyline in season two (but more on that later)

there’s something pleasing about carmy saying “monter” and then realizing that his classically trained chef lingo isn’t going to be understood so he says “whisk in”. because carmy is coming down to their level, but is also proving you don’t need a fancy french education or need to know fancy words to make good food. “whisk in” works just as well. the class dynamics in this show are so on point.

the calmness shown in the kitchen now that everyone is on board with the new system that carmy is so good. where we’ve seen chaos and overlapping anger, now we just see calm, peaceful, quiet cooking. the only holdout is richie

“yo, should we do a bakery?” god, i love chester. and i’m so serious; everyone needs a friend like chester, and every kitchen i’ve been in has a chester. just someone’s friend that pops in all the time for no reason and who everyone knows

the back and forth as chester asks if he should watch the bachelorette without marcus is so sweet. and again, it added to the “is marcus queer?” debate in my head. but also, having a bachelorette night with your bestie also sounds pretty dope, and two straight dudes can tear that up. i just want marcus to be happy.

tina went to mikey’s and mikey/carmy/nat’s moms for christmas. just further deepening that relationship of the family and tina. tina wasn’t phased by carmy’s mom going “full psycho”.

it’s so hard to see the undercurrents of carmy’s anxiety come out when talking about his mom (even more so since watching season two), especially with his emotional support spoon (which we all need)

“never fuck my vibe!” “i swear to god i will fuck anything that i want to fuck” “you are not being nice and you will not fuck me” as richie and fak got closer and closer to each other. once again……..kinda queer vibes? i mean, yes, richie is homophobic, but psychologists teach us that the biggest homophobes are projecting their own internalized homophobia. i swear, 20% of me thought they’d kiss. sure, they ended up fighting and “wrestling”. but isn’t wrestling also a way for “straight guys” to get oiled up and roll around with each other?……maybe i should write the bear through a queer lens after i write the bear through a class lens

matae: basically “uncle” from the movie bloodsport with van damme. because of course it is

carmy’s lack of surprise is truly so funny

ope, richie is selling coke!

if i know one thing about baking (and i know very little) is you don’t want to rush that shit like marcus is doing. especially when you are working in a space with some jank electrics and equipment

the shows one and only “covid” mention. which is perfectly placed and isn’t in bad taste or poorly done. plus, it’s also pretty fair with a lot of places on the edge during the worst of covid lockdown; you gotta make money somehow

the earned, relational aspect of richie being peoples cousin. pete calls him cousin and richie says “i’m not your cousin”. yet, we learn that beyond just the berzattos call him cousin later on. it’s kinda beautiful.

the fast turnaround of nat calling carmy a “soft shitty bitch” who only calls when he needs something from her to her melting and giving him a big hug when she learns he’s going to Al-Anon All Family three times a week is maybe the purest form of showing they are family i’ve ever seen on a screen in such a short amount of time

the transition of the early scene with syd telling carmy they should close when the dining room is flooded and carmy saying missing one service could kill them, to tina saying they can’t open because there’s no electricity, the walk-in is broken, and there’s no gas in the ovens, so syd improvises an outside grill is just fantastic use of character development and showcasing syd’s skills

marcus sitting in a spot where next season another memorable moment will happen with marcus and another line cook is kinda funny. probably not overtly planned by the writers or directors, but kinda fitting

marcus saying heard as carmy tells him that the job is insane and it can go from chill to unchill in a second and so that’s why he’s gotta stay up on his work. but we know (who’ve seen it) that marcus did not actually “hear” what carmy said.

carmy saying that he started a fire the night he won food & wine’s best new chef, and then says “you have a moment where you think ‘if i don’t do anything this place will burn down and all my anxiety with it’” is more indication of carmy’s twisted love of his own misery

“one last drug deal” to get them out of their money hole would have been a bigger storyline in lesser hands. but the nuanced, B storyline it has, allows it to just be a reality that happens in the background of a lot of shops around the US to stay afloat

the amount of chefs i know who at one point went into catering instead of staying in a kitchen is kinda wild. it seems like an alternative of a food truck. the “i don’t have enough money to open a brick and mortar spot, but i want to do my own thing” path. and the right caterer can be fire

god, syd waking up in the middle of the night with an idea for a dish so she writes it down because she has to is so….just so….true. i have so many notebooks filled with shit that has absolutely no value outside of a shop.

but it is the origin of the cola braised short ribs that will go alongside our risotto! the origins of the cursed dish is growing!

i love this episode so much! and i love how this later half of the season spreads itself around the members of the kitchen more than just carmy. he’s the anchor and the focal point, but there’s so much depth to explore the rest of the crew of the beef. i’m excited for next episode and the rest of the season!

Season One: Episode One | Episode Two | Episode Three | Episode Four | Episode Six | Episode Seven | Episode Eight

Season Two:

[tsuki-sennin]

I missed a whopping five episodes of King-Ohger. ...I've had a rough couple months. I hate job hunting more than I can put into words.

Enough about that though, I'll make things fun for myself today~!

Here's how this is gonna go down. I'll watch episodes 14-16, comment on them as I do so, and you're (maybe if you want to) gonna read. An hour and a half of content today.

Strap in folks, this is gonna be a long one. Spoilers, I guess...

-Jeremy's taking over the world at rapid speed.

-Oh hey, Gerojim.

-Here comes Himeno. ...sorry, I uh... don't really think I can take the other spelling seriously.

-"Tell me the truth, and nothing but the truth."

-"Ehhhhh...I don't really know what Cicada does in their spare time, I'm not their Dad- Oh, too soon~? :3"

-Ohgai Busou.

-Yeah that's an easy way to get stabbed Jeremy.

-Oh hot damn, she cut right through the spider silk.

-That's not a small feat.

-Thank you, Gerojim!

-"I am way beyond the need for calm right now."

-Oh shit, Dezzy training arc.

-You're a water strider, you live like a year maximum.

-"She got your swords back. You're welcome, by the way."

-"Rita! Do you support the death penalty?"

-Gira's picked up on her intent. ...and has been made to follow along~!

-Off he goes.

-"I'll hand down Jeremy's death sentence myself."

-And you just left him laying there, Morphonia?

-"It was really loud. I need a nap."

-"I need pictures Morphonia. Pictures of Spider-Man."

-Snowman Pain.

-"Perjury? No no no, it's simply embellishing~!"

-TARANCHINO

-Well here comes the boss.

-"Oh nooooooo..."

-His sideshow days have come to haunt him.

-"I really needed a nap, Your Magistry."

-"Seeing as you were sleeping inside a cage for a roadside attraction, I do believe that you are innocent beyond reasonable doubt on the charge of invoking the Fury of the Gods. However, you are guilty of being a fucking moron, therefore Himeno Ran's suspicion of you and your behavior was entirely justified."

-I suppose a few years of regency wasn't an option?

-Jeremy has failed to read the room.

-"I know something she might wanna know. Do you know that kid's show character Moffun?"

-"Speak now, Jeremy of the clan Spiders."

-It seems Gira is 1000 years too early to fight Amenjim.

-Mantis Style~!

-Hot girl shit.

-Strong and beautiful indeed.

-They interrupted our Sunday broadcast! Those motherfuckers!

-"Listen up, scrubs! Queen Headchomper needs you to find this guy right here. Catch him and bring him to her."

-"There will be a big reward in it for you if you dooooo~!"

-GIRA WHOA KHJM>HG

-"You're an ugly-ass bitch!"

-Masashi Ikeda's expressions are very good.

-"Moffun and Me... Do you know from where it came from?"

-So someone saw this poor kid all alone at the top... and gave her a chance to learn in a way she'd know.

-...man, that's.. .that''s so sweet.

-"They put me in a cage, Your Highness!"

-God Tarantula!

-Hi Kabutaaaan!

-Hop to the top, Grasshopper style!

-Friends :)

-"Have you ever heard of the practice of beetle fighting?"

-Alright! Takin' charge!

-And an insert song~!

-This is the good shit.

-"I mean... I can't really ask for anything else." :)

-Oh HAI Racules.

-Kaguragi's mysterious sister.

-"Do you wish to visit her?"

-Episode 15~

-I love how Jeremy refers to himself in the third person during the

-BEEEEEEES!

-"Hell? SUZUME!? Goddammit, I need to take this... Yo~!"

-"Kaguragi! It's Racules. You know that spider guy? Jeremy? Yeah, I wanna talk to him now. Go invite him over for me."

-Oh man, that looks good.

-Kaguragi the revolutionary.

Jeremy: Do you know why bees are black and yellow in coloration? It's because they evolved to warn predators that they've- Yanma: Cliff Notes, nerd.

-"Sister~! He's got a sister!"

-Jeremy dips.

-"NYAHAHAHA!", huh Gira?

-Oh

-Rita's total lack of reaction is as much of a condemnation as Yanma's face palm.

-Kidnapping a princess in real life.

-"Do I really have to kill the hoo-Mans? Sorryyyyyyy!"

-There goes flyboy.

-"You're supposed to be up to your eyeballs in maggots right now, Dead Guy."

-N'Kosopa tech~!

-"...thermal insulation?"

-hjlklhg

-Poor Kogane... she has no stage presence.

-"Gira's not evil!"

-Hard to catch a cab so early in the day, huh?

-Meeting of the minds, right here.

-Hot damn, Jeremy.

-"Please, Racules... let her be free once more!"

-"Mmmmmm... sorry, you're gonna have to ask her."

-GIRA YOU

-How'd you even get up there like that?

-Very cute that being nice works out better for Gira.

-And now we've done it! Good morning, Suzume.

-For five seconds, Kaguragi was the most terrified man on Tikyu.

-Oh

-"Wacuwes-samaaaaaa :3"

-Seems like Yanma's suspicion has been totally renewed.

-"Hmmmmmm... Nah~!"

-Even Jeremy had no way to predict this.

-"And I'll be Sir Racules's little pogchamp~!"

-Vassal state.

-I am deeply invested right now.

-Oh you guys got here fast

-The ball is in your court, Kaguragi.

-"Toufu fights for peace. With nothing less than our whole being, I offer it to you!"

-Gira is dead.

-There is no way he should've survived that.

-Fly Boy Strikes~

-Kuwagata Ohger! Now with less yellow!

-"Oh, don't worry, you're fine! ...you just gotta learn how to lie first!"

-Jeremy intervenes once more.

-"The Spider is now a Man!"

-Knight! Knight! Tarantula Knight!

-"Oh~!"

-Pede Chainsaw...

-Okay, very cool robo design.

-Kaguragi doesn't even comment.

-"I'm weak to Family Matters... that Reginald VelJohnson could talk me into anything."

-Kaguragi can't cry. After all, Suzume isn't.

-"Worry not, my dear Prince..."

-OH

-Well goddamn, guess she's got quite the backbone.

-"It's all done, Lord Racules."

-Taking the initiative, huh?

-There's a lot to the silver-colored beetle.

-TINY RITA

-"I'M AN ABOMINATION! And I'm coming to your house after Schooooool~!"

-I wonder how expensive PreShabana gets?

-Rita struggles with their desire.

-"I will store it here then. I am awesome."

-Morphonia with the accidental ethical save.

-15 years...

-"Not tomorrow. I can't."

-Their first ever trial was a murder.

-Pulling a Phoenix Wright at the age of ten.

-I won't lie tho, she does give me big Franziska energy.

-That must be Siron.

-"A shitty husband broke both his Hippocratic Oath and his bond of marriage. That is and always will be the truth of the LS-47 incident."

-A 15 year old murder case with new evidence- Oh fuck, this is Ace Attorney!

-Back to work

-"This is to scawy for me."

-WHOA 5!?

-Jesus Christ, talk about inflating your kid's job resume for the market.

-...wish I could do that.

-Snow Elves!

-Ah yep, that's a Kaijim.

-"Well, that didn't work out. Oh well~"

-Poor Jeremy, he bought it too much.

-"What better for the world than peace?" Racules sneered.

-Moffun-less once more.

-"This was previously claimed as evidence. Please accept it back, Himeno."

-Poor butterfly.

-"Oh."

-"The Fury of the Gods... the LS-47 case. They may very well be inextricably linked."

-And away Rita walks.

-Pestes rex eris!

-Here comes Jeremy.

-God Scorpion's venom.

-No peace for us, I'm afraid.

-Karras is alive.

-She put a 10 year old in charge of an entire justice system. How... immeasurably competent is Rita?

-That is some insane planning.

-"Are you sure you want to put a fucking baby in charge?"

-"Take pride in your weakness."

-Regency doesn't exist in Tikyuu, I guess.

-Find your wife, king.

-Oh, battle time!

-OH

-Heterochromia, huh?

-Holy damn.

-"Ah don't worry :3"

-Guilty as charged.

-"No, no, you didn't fail~! You just... learned something important for us~"

-Oh hey, Jeremy.

-Got webs. Must be a retiarius.

-Cicada Blade!

-Premium Moffuns!

-Hewwo, Himeno

-"You gave me the benefit of the doubt."

-Moffun get

-"Thank you."

-Adorable :)

-Oh, we're done here then.

-Oh FUCK

-Hello, Racules.

-He's about to take a high dive off the deep end, isn't he?

-Well, that's gonna have to wait a little. I'll reconvene with you later-ish.

[x-ceirios-x]

falling even more in love with you

aric has spent most of his life alone and can't fathom the idea that mollie cares about him like he does her. fortunately, mollie is a lot bolder than he is.

cw: some mild cursing. very fluffy

Aric stared at the textbooks in front of him, staring at the letters but not actually reading. These diagrams didn't make sense in the least—he wasn’t a good student before he got to the academy and he surely wouldn’t be now. In his frustration, he fell forward, laying his head on the book. Then he proceeded to hit his head against it several times. 

He heard Jeremy snicker from his bed across the room. “I don’t think information-via-osmosis violence is going to help you remember any of this for this quiz tomorrow.”

He paused and turned his head to glare at his best friend. “Don’t use your fancy biology words at me.”

Jeremy laughed from next to him and stood up—the next thing he knew, he was hitting the mattress with his forehead instead of the textbook. He closed it and placed it next to him, then sat on the bed. “You wanna talk about it? This is obviously not about a quiz.” Aric looked at him funny, so he laughed and continued, “look, I know you don’t do touchy-feely, let’s-talk-about-our-feelings, but I have four younger siblings. Which means I’m a certified therapist.”

He rolled his eyes at him and sighed. “I dunno, man. It’s all stupid.”

“I forget, sometimes, that you don’t know how to communicate your feelings.” He stood and grabbed his sketchbook off of the nightstand next to him. “You work better in pictures anyway. I’m going to get a shower, and when I come back I want to see whatever is bothering you.” 

He glared at him for a second, but he didn’t leave much room for argument. Once he left the room, he finally did as he asked—he opened the sketchbook and started doodling. It started with flowers and little jewels, coming up with little things he’d love to paint on the wall outside Mayhew’s room to piss him off. Then the jewels turned into circles, swirls, strange shapes he wasn’t quite thinking about, when he realized he’d drawn half of the Moral Cup. 

The Ascension was in a few weeks. He was nervous as hell—tensions kept rising between their classmates and he was concerned Valentine and the lightwoods were going to do something stupid. Then again, Valentine Morgenstern was always stupid and deserved the broken nose. 

Moreso, he was worried for himself. If he wasn’t ready—if whatever angels didn’t accept him—he wouldn’t survive. And he was terrified. It was like looking death in the face at seventeen and leaving it up to fate if he’d take him. He didn’t want to leave the shadow world—since he started at the academy, his entire life changed around. He expected to barely graduate high school, maybe drop out, and end up involved with some less-than-respectable things to make money. That was just the area he grew up in, despite his mom doing her best. He’d made great friends, started actually working at school, found things that were fun and not just surviving through life. He didn’t want to leave Jeremy or Céline, and certainly not Mollie. 

Mollie.

She was driving him crazy. They’d all go to lunch outside and he’d spend the entire time watching her, looking at her smile and making sure she laughed first when he told a joke. Recently, she’d been complaining about her hair getting too long and she liked to put up her curls with a few pencils. She took notes for their history class in blue pen and Downworld relations in black. All classes required at least one purple highlighter and a red pen to doodle in the corner. He watched as she desperately practiced for an extra hour after training, simply wanting the best at everything she did. And every day they ate dinner and studied, and his notebook was full of little red doodles as she explained things. She liked to dance in her free time, though she self-admittedly had the grace of an elephant outside of training. She was always trying something new and interesting, setting trends or getting weird looks among classmates without a care in the world. Everything she did, to him, was nothing short of beautiful. 

He didn’t have the time to think about her with everything going on, but that didn’t stop him most days. He was seventeen now and he just needed to survive the Ascension so he could start collecting a salary from the Clave and send money to his mother back home. That was his promise—he’d go off to this “boarding school” over in Europe and spend a few years there, and he was guaranteed a good job afterward, and would be able to send her money to save to get out of the city. He didn’t have the time to worry about anything else, or so he kept telling himself. 

Jeremy walked back in after a while, hair damp and in pajamas. He sat down on the bed next to him and glanced over his shoulder. “How’d I guess,” he said, amusement clear in his voice and on his face in the way he smirked. “You have to talk to her.”

Aric looked at the paper where he’d started a (very rough) sketch of Mollie on the paper. Realism and portraits were never really his thing, but hey, you could tell who it was. Maybe he was getting better at it. He turned his head to glare at Jeremy for a second and tossed the sketchbook to the bottom of the bed. “I’m not talking to anyone.”

He rolled his eyes and elbowed him in the arm. “I watch how you look at her. It’s…it’s ridiculous at this point. You look like a lovesick puppy.”

“I do not—“

He looked at him in a way that indicated there was no argument to be had here. Eyebrows raised, daring him to try to refute. Aric muttered a string of curse words in Spanish that would have gotten a shoe or a wooden spoon thrown at him at home and sighed. “You’re annoying,” he said, giving the only argument he could come up with.

He scoffed and got up, returning to his own bed. “And you’re incredibly stubborn for no reason. For being someone that I’ve known to never be afraid of anything, you’re pretty afraid of rejection, Aric.”

He stared for a second, watching Jeremy get comfortable and open his book for the evening. That was his signal that he was ready to be done people-ing for the day, as he said, and he should shut up. So he did, tossing his books on the floor and deciding he’d clean them up in the morning. He laid down, deciding he could fall asleep and deal with his problems tomorrow. 

***

“You’re fidgeting,” 

Aric looked up and stopped spinning his pencil. He was getting anxious the more he sat reading the stupid book in front of him, understanding nothing about these different kinds of demons. He didn’t care—everything died with a seraph blade eventually. And the names weren’t in languages he recognized, most of them are old, he had no idea how to pronounce half of the words on the page, and he couldn’t think clearly. 

Mollie placed her hand over his, sliding the book away with her other one. “Talk to me,” she said, turning towards him. “I don’t care about coursework. You’re anxious.”

“I’m fine,” he muttered, looking over her hand and trying to continue reading the book. “This stuff just doesn’t make sense. I’ll read it again, it’ll click eventually—“

The glare she gave him cut him off. With a much gentler tone, she said, “what have I told you about pushing yourself? If you can’t do more than twenty minutes of this at once, don’t do it. Let’s take a break.”

He laid his head in his hand, leaving hers still (he wouldn’t admit how much he liked her holding his hand), and sighed. “It’s worthless. I’m never going to understand all this.”

“Hey,” she said, pulling his chair and spinning him towards her. “It’s not worthless. You are not worthless, you’re just not doing what you’re good at. Your brain doesn’t work for…what are you even doing—“ she looked at the book, then his notebook, then back to him— “demonology or whatever. And that’s completely fine. We learned a while ago that you just don’t work like other people, and it’s fine.  You work in pictures, you work in art, Aric, and it’s beautiful.”

He stared at her for a moment, mouth slightly open in shock, too many thoughts for him to process racing through his mind to process everything she just said. She’d always told him it was fine that he didn’t think like everyone else—that he couldn’t think like everyone else. It didn’t bother her and she had the patience to work with him. It turned into an unlikely friendship—the school rebel and the straight-A, perfect princess. He knew she was never shallow like some of the kids he dealt with before the academy, but she was perfect. 

Mollie was smart—not just smart, but clever. He remembered her and Jeremy working on some law class and sitting in the courtyard next to Céline, listening to the two of them debate about whatever their assignment was for practice during class. The two went back and forth for an hour, only stopping when she finally found a loophole in his argument and he conceded. 

She was kind—kinder than anyone he’d seen. He watched as she helped new recruits during training and showed them new techniques she had a handle on. She stopped to help wounded animals in the woods and caught spiders with a cup instead of squishing them. The only true aggression he’d ever seen from her was during training, and even that she did with a smile. 

Mollie was strong in so many ways. At seventeen, she continued to prove to her siblings she could carry one of them under each arm (Patrick hated it, Gunny loved it), and even proved she could pick him up a few weeks prior. When he got there he was a scrawny kid, but he was pretty solid after 3-4 years of training, so it was impressive. She showed her strength in her resilience as well—no matter what came at her, she found a way through it. Fights with Céline, the loss of her mother when she was young—she was a fighter and he admired her for it. 

She insisted he was the beautiful one, but he knew it was just the opposite. 

It was a quick moment—one second he was staring at her, awe-struck, and the next he was kissing her. That was quick, too. He pulled away almost immediately, cursing himself for making such a rash decision without thinking. He didn’t have time to process the mistake he made, though, because she grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in again. In an instant, he felt her lips on his and everything felt right. Her chapstick tasted like lemon candy. His heart was beating out of his chest, but her grip slowly loosened on his shirt and he found himself holding her face—gentle, like she was porcelain. 

After what felt like too much but not enough time, she pulled away, a grin wide on her face. Her eyes lit up when she smiled—maybe it was just the fact that he looked at her so much, but her green eyes shined in a way he couldn’t describe. It was his favorite color. 

“I was wondering when you were going to do that,” she said, inching her chair a little closer to his. The sun was beginning to set through the library windows behind her, creating a halo of orangey-red around her. He watched as she fiddled with the ring she kept on her hands—a small, delicate thing decorated with a light blue gem and butterflies. Céline had gifted it to her a long time ago. 

He stared blankly, looking at her with a kind of anxious excitement he hadn’t felt before. “You…you what?”

She chuckled. “I’ve only been flirting with you for…four months? At least that’s been the serious flirting.”

He stared again. Jeremy was right and he was never going to hear the end of it. “I—I guess I didn’t-“

“It’s alright,” she said, brushing her hair through his hair. He felt her nails scratch across his skin and shuddered, though he hoped it wasn’t obvious. Being so close to her was nothing short of intoxicating and breathtaking all in the same way. “I was beginning to wonder if you were giving me the cold shoulder because you weren’t interested.”

He swallowed, trying to find the words to respond. “No, I—no. Definitely not that.”

She rested her hand on the side of his face, thumb brushing over his cheek. “I meant what I said, Aric. I think you’re amazing.”

He could feel his face heating up in embarrassment. “I need you to stop talking,”

They both laughed. It was good to laugh—he’d been so stressed lately that he hadn’t felt really happy about something in a little while. But sitting with Mollie was so easy—she relaxed his nerves, even if he was on edge for other reasons (like trying not to embarrass himself in front of her). 

She dropped her hand and happened to glance at the clock—he watched as she did a double take and rushed to stand up. “I am so sorry—I promised Céline that I’d help her tonight because she’s going to some gala in Idris this weekend. And I’m, like, fifteen minutes late.”

Aric chuckled at her comment and waved it off. “I’ll hang here for a while and try to review. Thanks for the help tonight.”

She gathered her things and shoved them into the messenger bag that was slung over her shoulder. “Anytime,” she said rather breathlessly before running off. Less than a second later she was back; she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, then ran off again. 

He muttered a couple curse words under his breath—an array of Spanish that would have put a sailor to shame. If it didn’t kill him first, he thought things with her—wherever their relationship was going—would be a great thing.

[blackheath505]

[M4F] Fire and Blood | An ASOIAF AU

Hello! My name’s Rebirth. For a long while, I’ve had a love for A Song of Ice and Fire; I read the books, have watched the show and consume anything ASOIAF related. And I also happen to be very into roleplay; I’ve done it for five years, and I consider myself to be a literate writer, writing around four to five paragraphs per post. I’m looking for someone like this who has a love for A Song of Ice and Fire and is the same literacy as me. I want someone who is willing to put in the effort and go the extra mile, much like I am willing to do.

I normally make up plots with my partner in dms, but I’ve found it easier to have set plots with room to expand and explore. Recently, I’ve written a plot that is quite interesting, at least to me. I highly suggest that you read it all from start to finish. I don’t have any passwords or anything hidden in there, but I trust you’ll read it all if you’re interested. And if you have read it, you’ll see that I have no image for my character as I prefer descriptions of characters rather than an image of them.

I’m looking to do an OCxOC, MxF roleplay with me playing as the male and my original character, King Viserys whilst you play as your original character from one of the many great or minor houses in Westeros, or maybe your character is from Essos? I wouldn’t mind, get creative! My timezone is EST, so I’d prefer someone within the Americas. And when you send me a dm, make it into an introduction!! I cannot stress this enough, please don’t just come into my dms with a “Hey” or “Hi”. If I had by chance dropped a roleplay with or anything of the sorts and you’re interested in my ad and plot, send me a dm and we can try to work something new out. With everything that I can think of being said, here’s the the plot and I hope to see you in dms! Oh, and I only use discord when I roleplay, so please have it!

-

Fire and Blood

Plot made by rebirth5910/Blackheath505, please do not use it without consent and giving credit.

246 years after Aegon’s Conquest, his descendant Aegon of House Targaryen, the Fifth of His Name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm was thirteen years into his reign when his third eldest son, Prince Daeron Targaryen married Lady Olenna Redwyne of the Arbor had married in the Red Keep on the second day of the fourth moon in 246 AC. The marriage was not one of love, many knew, but it had been one of duty. Many claimed that the night of the wedding was the first and last time Prince Daeron Targaryen and Lady Olenna Redwyne shared one bed. Though in that one night, a child had been conceived. One moon later, Lady Olenna announced to the realm that she was with child. Throughout the pregnancy, she had claimed that her child would be a girl, whilst Daeron claimed that the child would be a boy. On the twenty-seventh day of the twelfth moon in the same year, a boy was born, whom Daeron named Viserys after King Viserys II Targaryen whose reign only lasted a year.

Viserys was born a healthy babe, having no deformities or contracting any illness in the moons that followed his birth. He had the silvery Valyrian hair of his father and his father before him, with plum colored eyes to accompany it. He was showered with love by his mother and kin, though he rarely received any from his father who spent most of his time in the courtyards, training with his friend Ser Jeremy Norridge. Daeron would not be a big influence in Viserys’ life as when he was four, his father died in a battle against rebels. With Daeron dead, Viserys was without a father figure until his grandsire, King Aegon, took him in as a ward. The young Prince gained many friends throughout his early years, mostly with the boys and girls at court. Most days he would learn how to read and write, read about his ancestors and their reigns and other things of the sorts with the Grand Maester at the Red Keep. At the age of ten, Viserys’ learning with books and quills would decline and his learning with swords and lances and maces would begin with his grandsire. Along with this, Viserys was also made the king’s squire.

Two years after Viserys became a squire for his grandsire, in 59 AC, the majority of the members of House Targaryen traveled to Summerhall for the summer, though only few would live to return to King’s Landing. The night of the Tragedy of Summerhall, Viserys had fled the burning castle with his mother Olenna, and his kin, Princess Rhaella Targaryen and no one else. King Aegon had died along with his son and heir, Prince Jaehaerys, his daughter and wife of Jaehaerys, Princess Shaera, and their son Prince Aerys and Prince Duncan Targaryen. In the span of one night, House Targaryen had lost five members, but had gained a single one from the tragedy. Rhaegar, Princess Rhaella had named her newborn son. By all Westerosi laws, Rhaegar was now King of the Seven Kingdoms, though once the remaining members of House Targaryen returned to King’s Landing, the late King Aegon’s small counsel had called for a great council in the Red Keep to decide the future king of Westeros. The great council lasted a week with both great and small lords attending it. The two main candidates of the great council were Prince Viserys Targaryen, a boy of ten-and-two, and Prince Rhaegar Targaryen, a babe only a few weeks old. The lords and ladies of the realm had a choice to make. Would they rather have a newborn inherit the Iron Throne and not be able to sit it for many years to come, or a boy who could sit the throne in a mere few years and who had been the ward and squire of the late king? The voting was close, though Prince Viserys was ultimately chosen to be the next King of the Seven Kingdoms.

The day Viserys was decided to be king, he was crowned in the main hall of the Red Keep for all to see and pledge their fealty to the new king. King Viserys of House Targaryen, the Third of His Name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm. The crown placed upon his head was that of King Maekar’s crown, though a moon later, Viserys ordered for a new crown to be made for him. When the crown was finished almost a year later, it was a black steel circlet with yellow sapphires decorating it, much like Aegon the Conqueror's crown which had been lost to time. Viserys would not be able to wear his new crown, however, not until after the War of the Ninepenny Kings where Viserys personally traveled to Essos in order to fight the war despite heavily being told not to by his small council and regents. Though the young king insisted on it, saying “If I cannot fight alongside my men, then why should I be King?” He was only ten-and-three when he set sail with his men to Essos, and by the time he had come back, he was ten-and-four, though looking almost ten-and-six. In Essos he had been knighted alongside Tywin Lannister, one of his great friends.

With the last of the Blackfyre Pretenders dead and the realm in peace once more, Viserys donned his circlet with sunset sapphires decorating it, and set out on a royal progress across the realm with his mother and kin, going from King’s Landing to the Riverlands, the Vale, and finally the Reach, stopping at every castle along the way. When Viserys had finally made it to the Reach by the dawn of 261 AC, he traveled to Oldtown in order to visit the Starry Sept and the High Septon. By that year, Viserys was almost a man grown, being ten-and-five now, seen as wise and strong by those who personally met him along his royal progress. The young king would stay in Oldtown for half a year, enjoying the hospitality of House Hightower in the Hightower. In Oldtown, Viserys had come to be a good friend of Lord Leyton Hightower, and eventually named him Hand of the King, as that position had been vacant since the War of the Ninepenny Kings. With the convincing of Lord Leyton around that same time, the king called for a ball to be held in the Hightower in order to decide Viserys’ future wife. Ravens left from Oldtown all across the realm carrying an invitation to the ball. From Winterfell to Sunspear, lords both great and small received an invitation to bring themselves and their maiden daughters to Oldtown in order for Viserys to choose his queen.

On the last moon of 261, what could only be said dozens upon dozens of lords and ladies have showed up to Oldtown, with their maiden daughters in tow. Now with the ball being just days away, who will King Viserys choose as his queen? Will it be a woman of the North? Or possibly even a woman from Dorne? Or maybe from a different land entirely like Pentos or Lys? Only time would tell.

[stonedgilbert]

The group had been a pain in their ass for a few years now. Spewing mutant fear and hate, it wasn't anything Jeremy hadn't seen before - but then they'd escalated. Young mutants had started going missing, which was why they'd started looking into it. Taking it seriously.

And, of course, because it's what always happened - Jeremy was sent in to infiltrate their ranks. When death was on the line, it was always Jeremy who was sent out, a sacrificial lamb to the greater cause.

It was probably how he found himself here, like this. On his knees in front of a man well on his way to going grey, hatred in his eyes with the chilled barrel of a gun pressed to the center of his forehead.

"Your kind - it ain't natural, kid," the man says, and it takes everything within him not to roll his eyes, because this is stuff he's heard a thousand times before. "I'm doin' this for you just as much as for everyone else." The very real threat of death doesn't make him blink, and he's the only one of the X-Men who can do that. Who can look death in the face and not look away. They don't know what it does to him, not really - and he prefers it that way.

There are lines in the man's face, grey in his hair - he's somewhere in his forties, he thinks, and Jeremy wonders how the man would feel to know that they're probably the same age. Or, at least, that they probably would have gone to school together, if they'd been born in the same town. Jeremy appears at least a decade younger, but if there's one thing he's begun to learn, it's that appearances can be deceiving.

"Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night?" Jeremy mutters, voice a grumble low in his chest as he maintains eye contact with the man standing above him, as if the gun isn't there at all.

He's not naïve enough to think that the man's gaze gets softer - no, he knows that there's nothing good coming for him, so when the man says, "What do they call you, kid?" all Jeremy does is stare, lips pressed in a hard line. There's power in a name, he can tell from the deranged look of rage forming in the other male's gaze. And he doesn't blink when the question is repeated, a scream this time - he just watches, looking for the tell-tale sign. He's pushing the man to his limits and he knows it, but if he tells the man, their entire plan is ruined.

The plan that hinges on his death.

He sees it a second before it happens - the tensing of the man's arm as he goes to pull the trigger, finally having enough of the defiant mutant in front of him. And that, then, is when Jeremy says it. "They call me Respawn," he says, voice hardly more than a whisper, and he thinks, maybe, he sees some recognition on the man's face, but it's already too late. The signal is already being sent to his hand, and with the resounding bang of a gunshot, Jeremy Gilbert slumps, face blank and body lax.

But he's trained for this for years - dying over and over again, coming back over and over again, and almost as soon as his head makes contact with the ground, he's changing. The man can only watch, stunned, as the drop of blood falling from the hole in the mutant's head begins to reverse, going back, and in a second, the bullet is falling to the ground with a faint clink, and then...

Jeremy Gilbert is alive once again. He springs up, body working on instinct to slide the knife from his boot and embed it within the man's chest, eyes still frighteningly blank despite the animation of his body.

There's screaming, somewhere, and it takes a moment for him to realize that it's coming from inside his head, the same way it always does when he comes back to life. He sees things, in the corners of his eyes, at the edges of his vision, but he's learned to ignore them over the years. And it takes a minute to finally come to his senses again, before he looks down and actually sees the man dead in front of him. He tries not to care - only braces his boot on the man's chest to hold his body down as he yanks the knife out, wiping it against the leg of his pants.

Tomorrow is another day.

But tomorrow seems like a long ways away when you're still surrounded by the evidence of your death, echoing in your ears and the edges of your vision.

[paramorearchived]

March 6, 2010

Transcript:

NZ -> Singapore.

 so, i was on the plane today. well, we all were. (we're in singapore now!). and being that we were sitting in business class, there were a lot of business men just hanging out, shipping champagne and laughing at things that i don't really understand. so, this business man is hanging with his other business friend and they're wearing the exact same outfit... only business man #2 is wearing his grey slacks so tight and high on his waist that his balls are like suffocating. and i can see this happening. like his pants are not leaving any room for my imagination. not that i would've wanted to imagine it in the first place. the worst part is that he is just standing right there, in my direct eyeline and i can't. stop. looking. it was a train wreck of manly horror.  maybe i should've just said something. honestly, i kinda felt like i had a right to. what a sight it was, you guys. i wish you all could've been there. 

in other news... haha... this tour has honestly done a million wonders for me. being in all these places and meeting people who live half a world (literally) away from where we're from. it's such a blessing to play these shows and see all of you out here. japan was incredible. from the shows, to the dinners and shopping trips, the sight seeing. we were able to work with our original promoter - from the first trip we ever took over there. so the whole thing just felt like one big party.  being able to play soundwave festival for the first time could not have been any better. our sideshows ruled. youmeatsix are always a blast to hang with... and the festivals were. massive. thanks to everyone who stood under the blistering sun all day to hang with us. i thought i would die on stage in perth. we made it though. honestly, i still don't get how zac puts on those shows and makes it all the way through playing as hard as he does. metal as hell, y'all.  i have to say, new zealand just about takes the cake. we had never been there, though, so maybe that's what it is. our friend rowan, from the jury & the saints, took us around to all of his favorite spots and some of us even stayed over at his place to watch movies and climb trees. you guys, i climbed the highest tree ever... i would show you the pics but i went swimming in the ocean with my blackberry - which has since died - and that's where all the photo proof is. 

(SIDE NOTE: Anne Hathaway is absolutely stunning, kill me.)

and now, here we are in Singapore for the first time! we were greeted by some crazy fans at the airport. sometimes it makes me so sad when we can't stay and hang. if we had a van and were in charge of driving it.. we'd make our own schedule. unfortunately, we get driven all over the place by folks that actually know where they're going in all these cities. so they make the rules. hahah, it's probably a good idea. we used to get lost every day touring in our van. anyways, i can't wait to just be on stage tomorrow and see how these shows are gonna go down. bet it will be unbelievable. 

i gotta run. think i'm gonna bug jeremy.  love you guys so much. 

ps. we saw so many of our friends over the past week... and we want you to listen to em and know how awesome they are. Here ya goooo - youmeatsix, The Jury & The Saints, Alexisonfire, Comeback Kid, Set Your Goals, Sunny Day Real Estate. there are plenty more but i'll save them for another time!

[chaoticharlotte]

Day 3: "bite down on this"

Read it on AO3!

@febuwhump

WAS THAT THE BITE OF '87? (this is not how you're supposed to do this prompt)

Whump Rating: 5/5

==================November 13, 1987==================

Sammy relaxed the moment he heard the jingle of the restaraunt opening. He had heard Withered Foxy rushing the office before the jingle went off. Unfortunately, Steve (he was pretty sure that was Phone Guy’s name; or was it Scott?) had said that he was going to be handling today’s day shift as well, so he was going to be up for over 24 hours. He prepped himself for a long day working security under the pseudonym Jeremy Fitzgerald.

At least he got $20.10 out of his overtime.

==============10:00 AM, Freddy’s Fun Land==============

Sammy groaned as he visited the Prize Corner to talk with Charlie. Only a few people knew the Puppet was possessed; himself, Henry, and another random security guard he couldn’t remember the name of. The two of them had made an agreement that he’d use the music box to indicate he was okay, and if it wound down completely she could come find and help him. He began to regret that system on Night 3, as he couldn’t see the cameras well enough to wind the box with the mask on, but oh well.

“So you’re going to be up ‘til at least 6:00, and you woke up at noon yesterday?”

“Yep. Really wish I’d paid attention to whether I actually needed to come in last night, but oh well. I’d’ve had to deal with the Nightmares last night if I’d stayed home, so it’s not like I could get any sleep anyway.”

“That sucks. Shit, someones coming. Talk to you later!”

Sammy sighed, before continuing on to Kid’s Cove to watch Mangle. He was fairly certain that every animatronic here was possessed at this point, but Mangle had been especially aggressive. Perhaps multiple souls? All of whom hated him? It seemed unlikely, though if he got mistaken for his father...

He was snapped out of his train of thought by Mangle turning on as Kid’s Cove activated. Kids would be coming in soon, so he should leave. Normally he liked kids, but he was normally well rested after sleeping from 6 to noon. Maybe I should switch my schedule to sleeping at noon, so I’m wide awake at night. 

As the kids rushed in to the area, one of them pointed behind him and said “Look mommy, it moves fast!” Sammy whirled around quickly.

Not quickly enough. His dodge backwards as Mangle tried to crush his skull with her mouth got Sammy far enough out of the way to avoid the top of his head being completely removed, but Mangle succeeded in slamming his jaws onto the upper front part of his skull. Suddenly, Sammy was unable to see, and his ears began ringing much harder. No, wait, that wasn’t ringing, that was screaming children. His hand felt a little wet.

==================11:00 AM, Hospital==================

He shouldn’t have left Sammy unsupervised. Now he was in emergency surgery getting his skull stitched back together. The brain damage was irreversible, and Sammy would probably have a completely different personality coming out of surgery. Maybe the anger issues would come back, maybe he would be a completely different person. He’d paid for the surgery of course; he’d have done so even if it was some other employee he had no relation to.

He saw a purple car pull up, and Michael and Charlie got out of it. Well, I guess Michael knows about Charlie now. Charlie rushed into the hospital, Michael following behind at a slower pace because of the light; Nightmare Foxy was able to handle it better than the rest by design, but he still dislike direct sunlight.

“How is he?” Charlie asked.

“The doctors say he’ll likely have a permanent personality change. His frontal lobe was completely destroyed, they say it’s a miracle he stayed conscious with how much blood loss he had.”

“I’m... less certain about the personality change. I’m fairly certain the only thing they use their brain for at this point is automated functions like breathing, they handle their personality with their SOUL at this point to my knowledge.”

A doctor appeared. “We managed a fast stitch of his skull, though we’re not sure how well that will hold. A good chunk of his bone became powder. I hope you’re prepared for lawsuits from many families, Mr. Emily.”

“I expect lawsuits. I don’t know why that malfunction occurred, but it was my responsibility to keep it from harming anybody. I’ll be closing this location. Maybe I’ll reuse the originals in some capacity.”

Michael chose this moment to interrupt. “Would metal guarantee the skull holds? Because I have an old metal bear mask; if you could replace the top part of the skull with the upper half, it is designed to come apart.”

“That would work for reinforcement, but I’d advise speaking to the patient yourself about that idea once he wakes up.”

“Alright, I will.”

About two months later, Sammy was cleared to leave. He would have to enchant the mask to give him eyes, which would be interesting with it riveted to his skull and while he was blind, but he’d enchanted things in worse conditions. This would be comparatively easy.

[blazeofbrownie]

Broken.

It’s painful dealing with loss, and there’s no time limit on how long it takes one to overcome the grief, or the extent to how it affects them. On the outside they may seem the happiest person around, but on their own, they could be falling apart in so many ways. It’s strange, the way one affects another, you could be close with someone for years but you don’t feel the loss when you slowly drift apart, but meeting and losing someone who you’ve only known a short while can be just as painful.

You would think it would be easier losing someone twice, no, it’s just as painful, if not worse the second time round, especially since any misunderstandings were cleared in the process of reuniting. So what does a person do when they lose someone for the second time? When the heartache feels like it’s doubled? When you want nothing more but to run away from it all? Do you hide yourself from the outside world until you stop feeling anything? Do you continue to plaster a fake smile on your face and pretend you’re not dying inside?

I turn my head away from the ceiling to the bedside table where the alarm clock is ringing, breaking my train of thoughts, I extend a hand and switch the thing off, placing a hand over my face as I expel a deep sigh, staying where I am for the time being, though I know I’ll need to get up and get ready for work in a short while. I was given two weeks off from the job that I’d only been in for half a day, which was perfectly ideal at the time, two weeks off to care for Jeremy after the shooting.

It was sometime between leaving the hospital and arriving back to my apartment, that a decision had been made without me, that would impact me in ways I wouldn’t believe. I don't know what was going through Jeremy's mind, did he realise he'd made a mistake and was better off without me? Or did he feel he wasn't good enough and I was better off without him? Especially since it had only been a week since we'd reconciled and the shooting happened which almost took my life. Either way, it hurt like fuck. Though what did I do? Did I beg him to stay? Did I run after him trying to understand? No, I just stood by my door and watched him leave, not having a single rational thought in my mind as he stepped in to the taxi and left for good.

Dante was the first person I called after it had happened, they were best friends after all, surely if anyone knew what was going through his head, it would be my brother? He had no clue either, he was confused and maybe even angry, and though he assured me that everything would be okay, I’d hung up and refused to answer any more of his calls for the rest of the day.

Anna called me in an instant after my call with Dante, the twin telepathy running rampant again, she'd sensed I needed her. I poured my heart out to her and she listened, ready to jump on a plane to support me, but I discouraged her, there was nothing more either of us could do, except let me pick up the pieces and move on.

Forcing myself out of bed and to the bathroom to shower, I’m soon dressed in my uniform, smoothing it out before grabbing my laptop bag and leaving the apartment, heading in to the precinct. I’m greeted by friendly faces and I flash a few smiles to my colleagues while taking my seat at my desk, removing the laptop out of the bag and placing it on the desk, I click the power button and wait for it to load up, staring back at my reflection.

So which one am I? I spent two weeks cut off from the outside world, and now here I am, plastering a smile upon my face and pretending everything is okay, whatever the case, I’m still broken.

[fazcinatingblog]

Mihocek won't even get considered for the mark of the week stuff because of the easy way he just stood on top of a kangaroo as if he does that all the time

[luvdsc]

doing the bf tag with my bf.

hey, siri, does bf stand for best friend or boyfriend? (or both?)

pairing :: na jaemin x reader genre :: fluff / best friend + youtuber au word count :: 4,691 words warnings :: none playlist :: mean it (lauv & lany) ⋆ always, i’ll care (jeremy zucker) ⋆ fearless (taylor swift) ⋆ fingers crossed (coin) ⋆ cardiac arrest (bad suns) author’s note :: this fic is a tiny bit different than my usual writing because i emphasize more on dialogue than description in order to mimic a youtube video. happy birthday to this absolute darling angel! you have the biggest heart in the universe, and thank you for sharing so much of it with the world ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

Your subscribers have always wondered if you would do this type of video countless of times, and you never thought you’d ever actually record one due to the state of your love life (or lack thereof), yet here you are.

Unfortunately, the romantic department of your life still remains very much empty though. But lucky for you, so is your best friend’s. And that pretty much works out perfectly because he could stand in for your nonexistent boyfriend in order to complete the popular GF/BF tag (along with a hidden challenge that was popular by demand and personally requested by a certain friend with a flair for baking. Now if only the frantic butterflies in your stomach would settle down just enough for you to do it).

After all, BF could stand for either boyfriend or best friend, right?

It’s also no secret that yours and Jaemin’s subscribers shipped you two together either. Heck, you may be a little delusional as well because you ship yourself with your best friend, too. Blame the massive crush you’ve been secretly harboring. But two best friends sharing an apartment and frequently appearing in videos on each of your respective channels? In the eyes of your fans, that’s basically the perfect setup for a modern day love story.

It would 100% be the greatest love story since Kat and Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You, but at this point in your life, your story is going to be marked down as a tragedy. You feel even more hopeless and dramatic than Romeo was about his unrequited love for Rosaline. Also, that dude got over her way too quickly at the sight of another pretty girl. You wish that would happen for you, too, but your heart is much too stubborn over Jaemin.

When you had asked him if he would do the video with you, Jaemin immediately agreed much to your initial surprise. The publicity would be good though, you surmise later on, and both our fan bases would grow, so of course, he would agree. It’s not like your best friend liked you back. That would be absolutely absurd.

“Are you ready?” Jaemin speaks up, breaking your train of thought, and you’re slightly startled. He plops down in the plush pink rolling chair next to you, the chair moving back a few inches. He scooches it closer to your own chair, buzzing with excitement. You smile at your best friend, pushing down the butterflies erupting in your stomach. You nod before reaching forward and pressing the record button on the camera set up in front of you. You pull up the list of questions on your phone.

“Yeah, let's do this.”

How did we meet?

“Oh, this is an easy question,” Jaemin says, flashing his award winning smile at the camera before he throws his arm around you happily, hugging you affectionately. “It was freshman year. You ran into me. Literally. We were in the same class, and it just ended. You were trying to shove your textbook into your bag and didn’t notice where you were walking until you face-planted into my back.”

The memory is still fresh in your mind, and you remember how you had already resigned yourself to your fate of becoming good friends with the floor. But Lady Luck was on your side for once, and she sent an angel in the form of Na Jaemin to save you from embarrassment on your first day of university.

“Yeah, I almost fell flat on my butt, but luckily, Nana has great reflexes and when he turned around, he grabbed my arm before I hit the ground,” you add on, still squished into his side. He beams, eyes crinkling into half moon crescents before placing a kiss on your cheek and turning back to the camera.

Your heart skips a beat, but you ignore it. Jaemin has always been affectionate, and kisses were all in good fun. You continue on, plastering a nonchalant smile on your face. “And he said, ‘Looks like you just fell for me.’ And then he insisted that we get lunch together.”

“And the rest is history!” he exclaims happily, resting his cheek on the top of your head. You smile fondly before going onto the next question.

Where was our first date?

“The dining hall immediately after you ran into me.”

“That wasn’t a date,” you interject. “We can skip this question since we aren’t dating.”

Jaemin shrugs, waiting for you to read the next question. He murmurs faintly under his breath, “It was supposed to be one.”

We’re going out to eat, where are we going?

Jaemin answers immediately, leaning back in his chair. “The little pizza place down the block! They always make three different types of unique pizza everyday, and once they sell out, they close for the day.”

“We always go on Wednesday because they make both of our favorite pizzas then.” You chime in, and he nods enthusiastically, moving closer to the front and throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis. “They have corn and potato pizza that day!”

You wrinkle your nose slightly before leaning towards the camera. “To my subscribers, for the record, I assure you that I have better taste than that, and I love the artichoke pesto pizza with ricotta.”

What food do I dislike?

“... Corn and potato pizza,” he says reluctantly with a pout. “And kiwis. The outside is furry and creeps you out, and the fruit makes your tongue itch.”

You flash a thumbs up at the camera, and your best friend grins, puffing up his chest. Chuckling quietly, you shake your head before answering the question yourself. “And this dork absolutely hates anything strawberry flavored. And he’s lactose intolerant, so dairy is his enemy.”

“I love cheese, but cheese hates me,” he says mournfully, hanging his head down low before he jumps back up and reads the following question listed on your phone’s screen aloud.

Who is my best friend?

“Me!” Jaemin shouts gleefully, throwing his hands up in the air, and you can’t help but laugh, grinning widely at your best friend, a fond expression on your face.

“You.”

Am I a morning person or a night person?

“We’re both night people,” you say, and Jaemin nods in agreement. “You won’t catch either of us waking up before noon if we can’t help it, and we each have to set up like five alarms just to wake up.”

“It works out because we can stay up together watching movies or editing our videos,” he adds in, turning to you and smiling fondly. “And I always have a partner when I want to go on a midnight snack run to the convenience store nearby.”

Do we have a song? What is it?

“Jeremy Zucker’s Always, I’ll Care.”

“That’s our song?” You’re surprised. You were going to mention one of the go-to karaoke songs the two of you liked to belt out on the top of your lungs after a movie and wine night. Jaemin makes a great Sharpay Evans when you both want to bop to the top.

“It’s the song that reminds me of you,” he says, voice growing softer as he reaches the end of the sentence. Curse your heart for melting into a puddle. His cheeks turn pink under your gaze, and he becomes uncharacteristically shy, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Anyway, what’s the next question?”

What’s my nickname?

“Nana!” You reach out to poke his cheek, and he puffs them up before pouting at you. He reaches out and pinches your cheek.

“I call you ‘angel’ sometimes. It’s why your channel is called peachyangel.”

What's my weirdest habit?

“Jaemin eats way too much cilantro,” you state, swinging around side to side in your rolling chair.

“I do not!” he protests loudly, and you give him a blank stare. The two of you sit there in silence, not breaking eye contact until he finally relents.

“Okay, maybe I do. But you pour cereal before milk!”

“That’s not a weird habit!” You defend yourself. You are appalled at your best friend. Neither of you have ever woken up early enough for breakfast, so this has never come up before. If you would’ve known this in the past, maybe you wouldn’t be so ridiculously in love with him in the present.

“Yes, it is! Your cereal gets all soggy that way!”

“Only idiots pour their milk first!”

He clutches his heart dramatically. “Are you calling me an idiot?!”

“... So moving onto the next question—”

What do you think I’m talented at?

“Making people fall in love with you,” Jaemin blurts out, and your eyes widen at his answer as your grip on your phone loosens considerably.

“I—I mean, you’re just so approachable, and you’re kind to everyone. You care so much about everyone and everything. People feel comfortable around you, they always gravitate towards you, and you just— I don’t know, you make people feel loved,” he explains, unable to meet your eyes, and his cheeks darken. He fiddles around with the loose strand on his sweater sleeve.

Your heart swells ten times bigger and beats faster than ever. You wonder if Jaemin knows he has the same effect on everyone, too. You hope he does.

You wonder if he knows you’re in love with him and if he would love you back. You hope he does.

When was the first time you said “I love you”  to me?

“Uh, we can skip this one, too,” you say awkwardly, but he throws his arm around your shoulder again, hugging you tightly. “Nope, not skipping! I have the answer to this one!”

He grins toothily at the camera before pinching your cheek for a second time affectionately. “I said ‘I love you’ when you showed up at my dorm and brought me pop tarts at three in the morning after I accidentally drunk texted you, instead of Jeno. That’s when I knew you were a keeper.”

“I did that because I felt bad about throwing up on your shoes at the party we went to the weekend before that,” you mumble, face growing warm when you remember your best friend’s drunken confession a few years back. “Besides, you were drunk. It doesn’t count.”

“Okay, fine, but we say it to each other all the time. The second time I said it was when you brought me chicken nuggets, and I was hungover, but sober.” He says, spinning in his chair.

“I can see the pattern now. You say it when I bring you food,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest with a fake pout. “You love food, not me.”

“That’s not true!” he exclaims, halting mid spin and facing you. He turns your chair towards him, moving forward to clutch both of your hands in his, and stares directly into your eyes seriously. “I love you.”

You inaudibly gulp, helplessly gazing back at him as you feel your face begin to burn, your heart speeding up in your chest. Jaemin grins, leaning back and letting go of your hand. “See? I love you!”

“Y-yeah.” You swallow hard, fumbling over your words. “You love me.”

What is your favorite thing about me?

“Your laugh,” Jaemin replies honestly, reaching out and absentmindedly drawing circles on the back of your hand as he looks at you. “Hyuck told me the other day that whenever I try to do something funny or make a joke, I have a habit of turning towards you for your reaction. It makes me kinda proud that I can make you laugh.”

You know that you’re stupidly grinning like an absolute idiot at this point, but you don’t care. You even almost forget about the camera.

“Your smile,” you answer, maintaining eye contact with him. Your smile widens when you see one appear on his face, his eyes shining brightly. “You have the prettiest smile, and I’m grateful that I’m able to see it everyday or be the cause of it sometimes.”

What film always makes me cry?

“Oh, The Lion King.” Jaemin responds automatically. “We both cry our eyes out at the stampede moment and when Simba tells his dad to wake up.”

“When we saw the live action version together, we brought along a ton of tissues with us, and he used almost all of them.”

What drink do I always order?

“Jaemin is crazy and always gets a venti iced americano with no water and eight espresso shots. He used to drink it six times a day until I yelled at him about it,” you say, shaking your head at the camera before glancing over at your best friend. “It’s seriously bad for your health.”

His lips jut out into a pout as he whines, “You wouldn't let me cuddle with you until I changed it!”

“It was for your own good! Plus, that drink tasted like battery acid!” You exclaim, and he sulks quietly before begrudgingly agreeing. You pat his head in consolation, and he grabs your hand, naturally interlocking your fingers with his.

“I drink it less now and with only two and half shots.”

If I could, what candy could I eat all day long?

“Chocolate,” you blurt out immediately. “Jaemin is a chocolate fanatic. But he’ll take anything with sugar. He has such a sweet tooth. He eats brown sugar when he’s bored. Even his boba drink has 100% sugar.”

“It’s as sweet as you.” Jaemin winks at you exaggeratingly, and you roll your eyes, turning your face away slightly to hide the smile that begins to spread across your face.

“Y/N likes matcha green tea Kit Kats.” He leans closer to the camera, peering into the lens in a serious manner. “If any chocolate companies are watching this, we are both open to sponsorships.”

If I could live anywhere in the world, where would I live?

“Here,” Jaemin says confidently, beaming at you, “You’d want to live here with me. And I want to live here, too. Because this is the bestest place in the world.” He hesitates, faltering for a moment before searching your eyes. “Right?”

Who are you to say no to that?

You smile at him. “Right.”

What am I deathly afraid of?

“You’re afraid of spiders,” he announces, “You make me take care of all the spiders in the apartment.”

“Yeah, it’s the only reason I keep you around,” you say casually, and he gasps, insulted. You give him a cheeky smile. “I’m just kidding.”

He scowls at you, lips pulled into a frown. “You better be.”

What is the first thing that I do in the morning?

“Jaemin is never awake before I am,” you inform the camera, crossing your legs. “I have to wake him up first if we go anywhere.”

“Even if you don’t have to go to an event, you still wake up early to make sure I’m awake, so I won’t be late. So that’s what you do first thing in the morning: wake me up.” Jaemin nudges your leg. “You always come into my room as a blanket burrito with your comforter wrapped around you.”

“That’s because I have to face the treacherous cold to make sure you aren’t late to your events. But you still end up late anyway because you drag me down onto your bed and refuse to let me go until we lay there for twenty minutes,” you grumble, pulling up your legs onto your chair and wrapping your arms around your knees.

“Cuddling is a good way to conserve body heat and start the morning,” Jaemin states, waving his arms around to emphasize his point.

“Really? Do studies show that it’s beneficial to cuddle in the morning?”

“I don’t know.” Jaemin shrugs, making a noncommittal noise. He smiles at you, causing your stomach to do flip flops and your heart to do cartwheels. “But it makes me happy every morning, so I’d say that’s enough proof.”

Who usually wins our arguments?

“Y/N does,” Jaemin sighs heavily, leaning back against his chair in resignation. “You always win.”

“It’s true.” You nod, patting Jaemin’s arm consolingly. “It’s tough always being right, but someone has to do it.”

“You always pout, too, and I just give in because you’re too cute,” he says casually, and you freeze in your seat. Never mind the fact that he’s implying you’re wrong, Na Jaemin just called you cute.

Good thing this is caught on camera because this means you can secretly watch this multiple times in private. And also cringe over your awkward reaction, but let’s not talk about that right now because once again, Jaemin just called you cute. You! Cute! Jaemin! Your mind is honestly short circuiting, and you can’t do anything, except nod and smile like a complete fool.

What do we usually argue about?

“Adopting,” Jaemin says solemnly. Eyes widening, you wait for a moment, but he offers no explanation. You lightly shove his chair, and he rolls a few inches away. “Nana, you can't just end it like that! You have to say more than that!”

Turning towards the camera, you hurriedly explain, “He’s talking about pets. He wants to adopt five dogs and name them after Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, Renjun, and Mark. And then he wants to adopt a snake and name it after Donghyuck.”

“She said we could only get one dog and the snake.” Jaemin scowls, slumping in his seat as he stares into the camera. “I can’t believe she isn’t letting me get five dogs. I love Jisung and all non-Jisung’s equally.”

What’s my favorite clothing item?

“It’s not even yours. You always steals my white hoodie. I haven’t been able to wear it for the past month,” Jaemin complains, and you have the decency to look a little guilty.

You play with the strings of said hoodie that’s currently engulfing your body, curling into yourself as you tuck your face into the sweater like a turtle. “Your clothes smell nice.”

“But we use the same laundry detergent.” Jaemin wrinkles his eyebrows, confusion evident in his eyes. “All our clothes smell like snuggles and cotton.”

“It’s not the same,” you insist, wrinkling your nose, and he shakes his head, lips curling into a smile. He reaches over and tugs the hood of the sweater over your head playfully.

“Okay, whatever you say, angel. You look better in them than me anyway.”

Where am I on a Friday night?

“You’re here with me, eating Chinese take out and watching Criminal Minds,” you answer, and he agrees, nodding.

“We just finished watching all twelve seasons on Netflix, so if anyone has any show recommendations, please send them in!”

What is my weirdest interest?

“Once again, my clothes,” Jaemin says, and you begin to protest but he wags his finger at you. “No, no, no, you don’t get to disagree! You hoarded like six of my sweaters in your closet. I bought you the exact same sweater for your birthday, but you still take mine!”

You silently decide that it is better to accept this defeat than correct him because you actually have seven of his sweaters and a few tee shirts as well.

Who’s my favorite YouTuber?

“Me!” Jaemin’s hand shoots up in the air. “I’m your favorite YouTuber. Next question.”

Your hands start to get clammy as you look down at the final question you have been saving for last. It’s been a good fifteen minutes, and the butterflies still haven’t subsided. If anything, they seem to have multiplied and transformed into a whole rampaging zoo complete with elephants and monkeys.

“Uh, are you sure about that, Nana? ShowMeTheMonet is really good. I also really like itsmebetch a lot.” You stall for time, staring at the last question until the words are stamped in your mind. “Dream Unsolved and Worth It are amazing, too.”

Suddenly, Jaemin is right in front of you as he spins your chair around to face him, frowning and complaining, “What do you mean I’m not your favorite? You’re my favorite! What kind of best friend are you? This is a betrayal! An insult! This is worse than Jisung not calling me his favorite! How could you do this to m—”

“Okay, okay, you’re my favorite! I’m sorry! It was a joke,” you interrupt, but he turns away from you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No, go make a video with ShowMeTheMonet instead.” He sulks, shoulders hunched over. “If you like her so much, go be best friends with her.”

“I’m sorry! I’ll buy you all the chocolate you want after this,” you plead with him, placing your phone on the table next to you. “I’ll even buy you boba everyday for a week!”

Jaemin brightens up at that immediately. “Oh, yeah! I want some milk tea after this! Okay, what’s the last question?”

You swallow hard, nervously fiddling with the hoodie strings once more and shoving all the butterflies down to the pit of your stomach. Twisting in your seat, you move your chair and spin his around until you’re both facing each other, knees touching.

“‘Where and when was our first kiss?’”

At the immediate thought of kissing you, his cheeks explode in various shades of pink, the tips of his ears catching fire. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about kissing you daily. Heck, he had to stop himself from doing so earlier when you were burying your face in his stolen hoodie. It’s so unfair that you’re always so cute and looking so… so… kissable.

“I, uh, I don’t think I can answer that,” your best friend stammers out as his eyes dart towards your lips before meeting yours.

“But you got all the other answers right.” Your voice comes out steadier than you thought it would, and you mentally pat yourself on the back. Gnawing on your bottom lip, you pause for a moment, balling your hands into fists before uncurling them and asking hesitantly, “Should I help you out?”

“Yes.” He wonders how exactly you can help him out. Oh god, did he kiss you before when he was drunk? But you would’ve told him if he did that. What if he had ki—

A soft pair of lips lands on his.

You’re kissing him. Oh my god, you’re kissing him! Jaemin wants to jump up and shout it from the rooftops. His heart leaps from his chest, and he’s wildly cheering in his mind as fireworks explode around him before he suddenly remembers that he has to kiss you back.

And so he does.

Jaemin tugs you closer until you’re pulled onto his lap, a muffled squeak of surprise coming from you, and he laughs as he presses his lips against yours more firmly, hands gripping your thighs as you straddle him. Your arms loop around his neck, and your heart ricochets in your chest as you kiss him back until your lungs are screaming for oxygen and you have to pull away.

Jaemin positively beams at you, eyes sparkling as he leans forward and nuzzles his nose against yours affectionately. He laughs breathlessly, resting his forehead against yours. “Yeah, that was really helpful. Our first kiss just happened right here a few seconds ago. And now, our second kiss is about to happen.”

Your best friend closes the distance, crashing his lips against yours once more, and you kiss him back just as fervently, smiling against his lips as he does the same. Never in either of your wildest dreams did you think this was going to happen, but you sure as heck aren’t complaining, and neither is he.

When the two of you finally break apart, you bury your face into the crook of his neck, flustered, and Jaemin laughs giddily, cheeks flushed and eyes twinkling. He hugs you tightly to his chest before nudging you to look up at him. “So did I get a 100% on the boyfriend tag?”

“Yes,” you say, sitting up straight on his lap and grabbing both of his hands in each of your own, intertwining your fingers with his. “You got twenty five out of twenty five. Congratulations on your perfect score.”

“Technically, you did do the boyfriend tag with your boyfriend then, right?” he says slyly, squeezing your fingers. “Shouldn’t I get some bonus points for helping you do the tag correctly?”

You chuckle, failing to contain your smile. “Okay, fine, you get bonus points, too. You did an A plus job, Nana.”

“I’ll take those bonus points in the form of kisses.” He puckers his lips at you, and you easily comply, wordlessly leaning forward to give him one, two, three kisses.

Jaemin grins at you, positively delighted before he attacks you with kisses, peppering soft kisses onto your cheeks, forehead, chin, the tip of your nose, and everywhere else in between until he finally kisses your lips gently.

If this was a cartoon, there would be hearts floating around his head and shooting from his eyes. He leans forward again to kiss you one more time for good measure. You smile mischievously, tilting your head to the side slightly as your hands curl around his shirt. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you want for your bonus points?”

His eyebrows furrow for a split second before his entire face lights up. Jaemin carefully cradles you, picking you up as his grip tightens under your thighs. You let out a quiet squeal, wrapping your arms around his neck, as he stands up enthusiastically.

“Cut the cameras!”

One new notification: peachyangel uploaded a new video!

nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ commented:

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANGEL 🥺💗💞💖💗🤩💝💕💜🤧💖💘😭💘🌼💐🥺💖🥺🥺🥺

peachyangel replied: ily too baby 🥺🤧💖💖

insert goofy’s chuckle commented:

is this allowed?? there are minors here 😫 jisung look away

peachyangel replied: get your mind out of the gutter, ya nasty 🙄 we turned off the cam because he wanted to go get milk tea

jisung pwark replied: I’m 18!!!!! Stop treating me like a child!!! 

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ jisung pwark stop making me cut the crusts off of your sandwiches then

big head king replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck how come you don’t cut the crusts off of my sandwiches 😭😭

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ big head king because you are a grown adult and jeno already does it for you

jenojam commented:

congrats jaemin!! :)

Starbucks Official commented:

we would love to sponsor you, Mr. Na!

FIGHTING HAEYADWAE commented:

OH YOU ARE NANA!!1!1!!! 🤯🤯

ShowMeTheMonet commented:

um hello i would love to do the gf tag with you! i accept!!! it would be an honor 🤩

peachyangel replied: omg yes!!!! 🥺🥺 let’s do it soon 💖

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ nana ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ did… did we just lose our gfs 🤧

mork lee rawr xD commented:

hahaha nice guys ! this was really cute haha

ty track commented:

the babies are all growing up too fast ):

jeno is my favorite commented:

.... i feel so single @.@

DonutKillMyVibe commented:

let it be known that I was the friend who challenged @ peachyangel to do the challenge and hence, I am the reason these two are together 👀👀

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck commented:

someone should make an updated version of that jaemin complaining video compilation with this

big head king commented:

ayyy you all are the GOAT 🐐🐐🐐

jenojam commented:

so are we just gonna let it slide when he called everyone except jisung “non jisungs” ?

jisung pwark replied: 😎😎

insert goofy’s chuckle commented:

is no one gonna comment on how he called me a snake?????

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle is no one gonna comment on how much of a clown hyuck is???

insert goofy’s chuckle replied: @ ghosts are real so suck it hyuck wtf? where did this even come from

ghosts are real so suck it hyuck replied: @ insert goofy’s chuckle sorry I thought we were stating the obvious here

big head king replied: LOLOLOL

apado gwenchana god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻