#maybe i’ll do a deep dive into his character myself at some point

[shadowbends]

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS)

It’s me again, folks. Do you enjoy good fanfic? We’re reaching the end of the line, but I’m here to hook you up! Whether you’re new to the fandom and diving into the ROTTMNT fic scene for the first time, or a veteran looking for content you might have missed, my hope for this project is to point you to something you’ll enjoy!

This rec list is the last of three and focuses on longfic in the fandom, with a word count reaching anywhere over 15,000 words. You’ll find a variety of fic here, from novellas to full-blown novels—some complete, but many still ongoing! Though it may be heresy on the streets of New York, this is the list you want when you’re craving something really thick to sink your teeth into: a sit-down experience exploding with flavor. Don’t have time for that, actually? Then consider checking out my previous rec lists as well!

NEW YORK STYLE, BABY!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (UNDER 5,000 WORDS)

STUFFED CRUST!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (BETWEEN 5,000 AND 15,000 WORDS)

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS) — You’re here!

If you enjoy any of these fics, make sure to reblog and spread the love! Don’t forget to check out the other works by these authors; many of them have written multiple wonderful stories not featured here that are just as good. Additionally, consider leaving the authors a comment! I’m not always the best at that myself, but fic writers work hard and deserve all the love in the world.

With all of that said, it’s time for the recs. Let’s dig in!

Quick note: On previous lists, I separated the recs by the general time period they took place in. I’m not going to that here, largely because—uh. Well. Nearly all of them are post-movie! This fandom’s sure been active in the last couple of months, huh? Given that, I’ll be sorting them by a broader method, but yes. If you’ve not seen the movie, this is your warning that spoilers abound in the recs below. 

➤ ➤ ➤ CANON COMPLIANT

The Aftermath by Starrcrossrose

57,262 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 11/03/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Leo-centric)

Genre: Angst, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort

It would’ve been easier to say what he was feeling, but he honestly didn’t know how. He wasn’t sure why, either. He knew his brothers would understand and comfort him and be there if he wanted them to be. Hell, Donnie’s surprise sleepover and everyone showing up for it in the living room had been proof of that.

Yet he still couldn’t do it. He’d tried to talk to Donnie and the pain on his brother’s face had been enough to make him never want to speak about things ever again. He didn’t want them to hurt the way he did; he wanted them to be okay and normal and happy.

You know they aren’t happy. Why do you keep pretending to be fine when the others aren’t either?

Leo squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into his knees as he pulled himself into an even tighter ball. He wanted to go into his shell as much as possible, but at the same time, a searing energy was making his legs feel like he could run or swim for miles. He could just go and go and go until he collapsed.

Maybe… maybe that'll help.

Set a few months after the movie, Leo struggles with the long recovery time needed for his injuries to heal, both physical and mental. Unable to talk about it, he turns to unhealthy coping methods instead. The rest of the family is doing no better from the fallout of the invasion, however, with each of their own stresses mounting the longer things go unaddressed. That is until Chapter 8, when things come to a head...

There are a lot of post-movie recovery fics out there, each one unique. The Aftermath’s hallmark has to be in its slowburn foreshadowing, and excellent character writing. Throughout many chapters, we get a glimpse into the heads of just about every beloved character the series has to offer, including April and Casey Jr. Little clues to what’s going to go wrong are set up early on, but just like the characters, I was blind to how serious of a turn things were about to take until the problem finally reared its head. This fic does a good job of showing how important it is to talk to one another, even if it’s hard.

Aftershocks by Katiemonz, McBethins, octolingkiera, theashemarie, and this_kills_the_man

153,543 words, 12/15 chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Family Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

“Good game,” Leo said to Donnie, smiling at Mikey in the same sly way as before.

“Thank you, Leonardo, but as I’ve said Uno is—”

“But you still lost,” Leo continued. He swept the cards up and began to straighten them for another shuffle.

“Second place is hardly—”

“Honorary title,” Leo cut in again. “Mikey won, so we owe him.”

“Owe him what? I have—”

“Keep your money, Don. In this game we’re dealing in secrets.”

“Secrets.”

“Yeah, specifically what’s up in that brilliant, big head of yours after all that Krang shit. C’mon. You owe him one secret.”

Picking up from the end of the invasion but spanning the weeks after, the day’s been won, but no one came out of the Krang’s attack completely unscathed. There’s a lot of trauma to unpack here—unfortunately, talking about it is the last thing just about anyone in the family wants to do. 

Another recovery fic, Aftershocks is unique for being a story told from five perspectives (the boys and April), as written by five different authors. As the brothers avoid each other, each arc’s events end up having quite the different take depending on whose POV you’re currently following, even in moments where the same scene is being retold. Truly an ensemble fic that focuses on everyone’s trauma, I’ve especially enjoyed that April was included. As the longest fic on this list, Aftershocks is heavy on introspection and exposition, but the characterization always manages to shine through in the details. I especially love the scene I quoted above; “Trauma Uno” is totally a concept I could see the boys coming up with. 

A Tale of Spirits by unorthodoxx

47,202 words, 6/? chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Ensemble

Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Crossover

"I need to find my brothers," Raph mumbles.  "That's if they're even here."

"And then head back to the spirit world."

"It's not the spirit world!"

"Right," Toph grins. "This so-called 'other dimension' without benders."

"There are no benders in my world."

Toph reaches and places a hand on scaled skin.  Huge muscles twitch under her palm and the spirit stops.  "No benders?"

"Yes!"

She nods.  "Like the spirit world."

Raph throws his arms up with a scream and Toph cackles.

For a crossover, this fic requires quite a bit of investment in the second fandom to follow; you’ll want to have seen all of ATLA Season 1, and potentially even Season 2 if you want to keep track of what’s going on, especially for moments when episodes are retold, but with the turtles added in. Additionally, the POV is solely with the ATLA characters. Is this fic worth recommending despite that? Abso-freaking-lutely. This might be one of the most creative crossovers I’ve seen in any fandom, and I’m absolutely hooked.

The plot is deceptively straightforward—the four turtles mysteriously appear in the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender, separated and with no idea where the brothers are. Their arrival changes everything, with the people of the world seeing them as powerful spirits and guardians. I won’t spoil who ends up with who beyond what’s shown in the excerpt, but it paves the way for fascinating political intrigue and character development on all sides, our fave turtles included. Donatello’s position is perhaps the most fascinating for what may come of it, but everyone’s new groupings have been an utter delight. The banter feels charming and wholly in-character, and I can’t wait to read more. This is definitely a fic to keep your eye on, if you’ve not found it already.

Brother Dearest by Wardenov

69,666 words, 22/? chapters (last updated 11/03/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Donnie-centric)

Genre: Drama, Sci-Fi, Horror

“You came here looking for answers, weakling, because you messed with powers far beyond your understanding.” “I’m not-” She doesn’t let him continue. “Our brother may be dead, but the glory of our kind is that we are never truly defeated, not as long as our mark remains.” And as if to make her point, she raises a tentacle and delicately touches the glass - tendrils spawning from the point of contact, rapidly expanding across the surface like a frenzied contagion before freezing in place and crumbling under the extreme cold. “We cull the weak and assimilate those worthy, we bestow the blessing of Krang upon those who deserve it. You-” she spits, remaining tentacles scrambling to climb the glass where Donnie stood, “-you have stolen our gift.”

He says nothing.

“But,” she continues, sadistic smile returning, “your transgressions have ensured our survival. Our continued conquest. Whether you like it or not.”

Set a few months after the Krang’s invasion, things have seemingly gone back to normal for the Hamato family. Everyone’s doing their best to get by, and back to familiar routines and hobbies. Donnie, though? His newest project throws all of that into new chaos, showing that no matter how well-meaning, there are some things man (and turtle) was never meant to tamper with. 

I’m absolutely feral for this fic, and desperate to impress upon anyone seeing this why they should read it. It might be one of the very best fics the fandom has to offer. Seriously. You want plot and worldbuilding on par with the Season 3 we never got? Exploration of the Hidden City, and the Council of Heads that run it? High stakes, suspense, action, and family drama? Look no further, fam. Brother Dearest has it all, and every character (even Mayhem!) has a big role to play. April’s sleuthing, Mikey further develops his new mystic powers, Leo has some heavy choices to make as leader, and Raph isn’t as home free after the Krang invasion as he thought. Make no mistake, though, the star of this show is Donnie in his unwitting supervillain arc. Will his family be able to save him from himself? Only time and new chapters can tell, but this fic dug its claws into my heart and won’t let go, it’s so good. 

Drift and Chemical Reaction by Bronte

26,949 words, 7/7 chapters (split between two fics)

Character Focus: Donatello & Leonardo, Ensemble

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding

"Piña colada?"

"What the—?" Donnie cuts him off before he can finish, cramming a green and yellow striped straw between his teeth. Leo wears some of it, the yellow, smoothie-like drink dribbling down his plastron. "Wait, where did you—what is this?"

Donnie smirks. "Pineapple, coconut, rum. A taste of the tropics."

Leo blinks and glances down apprehensively at the ‘Better Late than Ugly’ mug in his hand. "...does this have alcohol in it?"

"Does this have—pfft, I would never. Do you know who I am? Donatello, upstanding citizen of Manhattan proper?" Donnie barks a laugh, tossing his head back before leveling him with a look. "Of course there is. As the Bard himself said, self-love, my brother, is not so vile a sin as self-neglect."

As two sides of the same story, these fics are being recommended together! Set after the movie, Drift is told from Leonardo’s POV, both during and after leaving the prison dimension, where Chemical Reaction tells the story from Donatello’s POV. 

The real charm of this fic, though? It has to be the banter. Reading this, I could totally hear the character’s voices in my head, which was only made better once the piña coladas came in. You think the twins are disasters; just wait until they’re drunk. These fics would be worth reccing on their own for that scene alone, but there’s actually a little bit of plot involved as well as Leo struggles to regain his ninpo, while Donnie... Well, something weird is going on with Donnie. Needless to say, both of these are a great read!

Every Night the Longest Day by ashtreelane

33,731 words, 13/? chapters (last updated 10/27/2022)

Character Focus: Leonardo & Family

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Medical Drama

“What’s wrong, Leo?” Raph asks from where he is curled around him, the snapper’s chin nestled on the top of his head.

“Can’t sleep,” Leo mutters. He smells worry, sudden and sharp, and when he opens his eyes Raph has whipped around to look at Donnie, eyes blown wide, looking for an answer. Donnie is looking at him too, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“We- okay. Raph, don't freak out. This is to be expected, remember?” Donnie is saying, his voice just barely on the wrong side of too calm. He’s freaking out too. Why? What’s happening? Oh, he’s being addressed now, he should probably pay attention.

“Leo, you were cursed six days ago to be unable to fall asleep. Your memory is suffering because of it, but we’re all right here, okay?”

Leo kind of knows what they’re talking about. He remembers it, he remembers that it happened, but the… events are… foggy. What- what had they been talking about?

“What are we talking about?”

When Leo is cursed to be unable to sleep, he and the family must wait for a new moon to break the spell through a ritual. Unfortunately, that new moon is nearly two weeks off. As Leo is forced to stay awake for days on end, his mental and physical condition quickly begins to deteriorate. Through it all, Leo’s family stays by his side to help him through it, beautifully balancing hurt with comfort through the beginning. As the story goes on and Leo’s condition worsens, though... Well. Things aren’t looking good, let’s say.  

I have such a soft spot for this fic, though. It’s grown quite popular lately, so many of you reading this list may have already heard it, but there was a point when I was following early on where the author was debating shifting the POV around or sticking with Leo as an unreliable narrator. I was really proud of them for sticking to their guns and going with the latter, and I think it’s paid off in spades. The way the author experiments with formatting styles and missing scenes really makes the fic stand apart from the standard whump setup, and turns it into something akin to low-key psychological horror. If you’re into that sort of thing it’s a lot of fun; even if you’re not, the moments of family bonding peppered throughout the fic are so wholesome, and definitely worth your time.

Fallout by GauntletKnight

50,677 words, 20/? chapters (last updated 11/05/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama

“We are here. We are alive. Raph and Mikey are downstairs. Dad and April and Casey are on the way. You’re alright, Leo. You’re safe. We are all safe. No one is here to hurt you…or us.” There is no special inflection to his voice, but his words are firm, unmoving. Leo shakes for a moment, squeezing Donnie’s hand…and then he blinks, his eyes clear and he tries to take a breath.

Violent coughs wrack his body as he tries to dislodge the blood that had built up from his sobs. Bright red spatters down his front and across Donnie’s hands as he holds onto Leo’s arm. Each breath is like nails on a chalkboard.

Draxum steps in instantly, checking the monitor for vitals. “I’ve gotta get to that punctured lung…or else getting this blood transfusion in him isn’t going to do anything.” He turns to Donnie, holding out plastic gloves, “Can you-”

Leo shakes his head, finally getting a rattling breath into his chest. “N-no…Don’s…not great with this kind of thing. S’ok…he’s so good at everything else he had to leave some for the rest of us.” He smiles up at Donnie like Donnie hung the damn moon and stars, his eyes still shining with painful tears. It’s…a weirdly genuine moment between the two of them…

Donnie doesn’t like it.

Set between the final fight and grabbing a slice in the movie, this fic follows the immediate aftermath of pulling Leo out of the prison dimension with a bit more urgency and attention to everyone’s injuries. 

As I’ve said before, every movie recovery fic I’ve found has their hallmark, and I’d say Fallout’s is its heart and emotion. By focusing on the aftermath of the battle where everyone’s stresses are still running high, there’s a lot going on here, and it makes for some tense, but evocative moments. The story is lightly focused on Leo’s mental state especially, but everyone is going through it and as the POV shifts every chapter, each character gets some focus as they work through their injuries and messy feelings. Fallout is very satisfying read, and one I often come back to over and over.

hamartia by Punable

40,364 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 10/30/2022)

Character Focus: Donatello & Family

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

It felt nothing like how he imagined dying would feel.

Donatello was a man of science, so it would have been foolish of him to have not, over the years, devised theories around what results certain situations would generate, what or who they might take out of commission, and what he would need to do personally in order to gain the best possible outcome. He would sometimes note down how he believed these situations might affect him or his brothers, both physically or mentally - he wasn’t an expert on emotions, far from it, but he could at least logically assume that getting, say, struck by lightning (one of his planned-for possibilities) would leave its own traumatic scar on any man or turtle that happened to experience it, so he’d dragged in April for those certain emotional areas and promptly abandoned her as a research partner when she’d told him he was being obsessive. He was not obsessive, just thorough.

He couldn’t help but feel as though some of that research time may have been wasted, though, as he lay on his side, his newest project slash rework shattered into almost unsalvageable pieces on the floor across from him. (And really, that felt almost like the harshest blow - how was anyone except him supposed to salvage that hunk of junk? Was that all that he was leaving behind?)

He felt it had been time wasted, maybe, because dying didn’t feel at all like the soft, slowing breaths of passing peacefully into sleep, or the fast tight gasping of someone going out from a bullet wound. If anything, it felt like he was breathing too deeply, every breath filling his whole body and stretching out every wound and puncture and fracture, oxygen making his head light (or maybe that was the blood loss). He didn’t feel at peace, and he certainly didn’t feel as scared as he thought he should’ve been, as he had read he should have been.

Mostly, it just felt like an inconvenience.

Donnie almost dies, and that’s just the start of this angsty tale. What follows is an interesting exploration of what Donatello thinks of himself and his role in the team, and his family’s growing concerns when he won’t give himself time to recover. Donnie’s brush with death has lasting consequences, and a large part of the fic is dedicated both to how much they affect him and how long he can hide it from his family (and the audience). Once the truth comes out, though? Oof. 

The newfound disability is handled well, imo, and you really feel for everyone involved. There’s a lot about mental health that the author just does really well in general, actually. The focus on family and everyone’s concerns for their brother is where this fic really shines, though, and there’s a lot of emotion that hits just right. Basically, the hurt is done so well, I’m looking forward to when we get to more comfort.

i go there with you by bobtheacorn

21,649 words, 15/? chapters (last updated 11/04/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Humor

"But seriously," Donnie says seriously, brandishing his tablet screen above Mikey's head and pointing at it, "I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you be Very Honest when I ask you to scale your pain using this -" He cuts his eyes toward Raph, who grins. "Emoji Scale. Which dramatization would you say you find the most relatable at the moment?"

"Okay, so defo… this guy," Leo says. He thinks he manages to lift his finger but that's all the juice he's got. "On the… left."

"That would be the thumbs-up emoji, Leo," Raph says cautiously.

"Awww," Mikey gushes, "Is that one because you love us?"

"Hang on," Leo says around another small huff of maybe-laughter, "You… can't prove anything. But also…" He moves his finger again. "Also this guy on the… on the far r-right. Like, for-real for real."

"Oh, the sad-angry-crying emoji, fantastic," Donnie says with a bit more pep, tossing the tablet and turning to Splinter, who's closest to the monitor, "Papa, would you do Leo a huge favor and smash that morphine button, please? Like, right now, immediately."

Set immediately after the invasion. This fic is a series of interconnected one-shots originally written for Whumptober, but by Chapter 9 breaks into its own thing. The whump remains a focus, but it’s tempered by a good dose of comfort and humor as well, which the author is a master of. 

If you want a recovery fic after the events of the movie that matches the feeling of the show, i go there with you is the fic to start with. The characterization and banter are spot on, as is the emotional whiplash. All of the characters gets some love and introspection in this one too, which is always fun.

Now That’s What I Call A Vacation! by WayWardWatson

56,238 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Splinter & Family

Genre: Family Bonding, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort

Splinter turned his attention back to Big Mama, the flirtatious mood from earlier dissipating. “I am calling in your favor.”

It was like he had slapped her with his rat tail with how she reared back in visible disgust. Her fangs clicked in irritation and she scuttled further down, closer to where Splinter was standing. “Remind me, when have I ever owed you a measly-weasly favor?”

“When you misused demon armor for profit that nearly resulted in the end of human and yokai kind alike?” Splinter evenly said. “Oh, and the time I rubbed your feet, all eight of them, when you were on bedrest.”

“I thought that was an act of love.”

“Kindness.” He corrected because his heart hurt too much when she said love. “I was being kind. Though, if you want,” Again, his voice dipped into a purr, splaying out his arms wide in open invitation. “You could be kind enough to give me and my family a free round trip to Japan? I know you can do it.”

More scuttling as a low hiss escaped her maw. “That is a big, dimbly favor to ask.”

“I thought we were calling those acts of lo- kindness?”

“Why,” She drew the word out as she finally reached the bottom and pressed her broach. Suddenly, a swirl of light engulfed Big Mama and, with a whoosh of mystic energy that smelt like nutmeg, he watched as her stature began to diminish. Just as quickly, the light fractured and then separated into small motes of bioluminescent dust, casting a dim, golden glow around them. Now in human form, Big Mama stepped in close enough to touch. “Do you want to go to Japan?”

Without thinking, Splinter’s eyes trailed down then up and he swallowed. His heart was beginning to pick up, but certainly not from fear. He took a moment to gather himself. “My children need a vacation.”

Splinter takes one look at the S2 finale and the movie and decides that’s it, this family needs a break. Deals are made, mystic disguise brooches are acquired, itineraries are made, and with that, the family (including April!) are off on an exciting vacation to Japan! As with all scenarios involving the Hamato Clan, however, nothing goes so simply.

You’re getting so much bang for your buck picking up this fic. A family trip to Japan is charming in and of itself—and the author has done so much research on the country that some passages feels like taking a tour of your own—but this fic actually has a lot going on for it. How they even get to Japan involves some fun mystic worldbuilding, and the cloaking brooches open the door to interesting commentary on body dysphoria. And of course, things take quite a turn when the fam runs into a figure from Splinter’s past who has questions he struggles to answer. A refreshing story with creative ideas, Now That’s What I Call A Vacation! also has an excellent grasp on all of the characters, in and out of vacation mode. It’s a darling read.

odd man out by cosmocrow

22,676 words, 4/? chapters (last updated 10/29/2022)

Character Focus: Future Leonardo & Leonardo, Future Leonardo & Casey, The Hamato Family

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama

“Master Splinter,” he greets, almost impressed by the fact that his voice isn’t wavering like he feared it would. “I’m sorry for barging in– like. Barging into your timeline? I– I can explain.” He really can’t, but that isn’t the point.

Splinter only raises a hand. “Don’t worry, Casey has brought us up to speed.” He turns to deposit the tray onto a cart, before folding his hands into the sleeve of his robe. Leonardo can feel those yellow eyes look him up and down as he straightens up again. Splinter takes a step closer, craning his short neck to be able to look Leonardo in the face. Melancholy dances on his features, but the rat smiles nonetheless.

“Look at you, you’ve gotten so tall, Leonardo.” The soft usage of his name almost makes Leonardo stumble. He hasn’t heard it from his father’s mouth in a long, long time. A familiar burn starts to prickle within his eyes, so he starts blinking in order to quell the itch, pressing his lips together, so his mouth won’t wobble. He isn’t sure why he’s trying – he knows that Splinter knows.

His father always knew everything.

Splinter steps even closer, lifting a hand from within the confines of his sleeves. Like a magnet, Leonardo bends down, so his dad can cup the side of his face. Gently, the old rat rubs his thumb into his cheek, just below his mask, over his red markings. Splinter’s sad little smile falls, and he tugs down the blue mask over Leonardo’s face.

“But,” he says softly, “you look so tired, my son.”

Several months after the movie’s conclusion, a familiar face from Casey’s averted bad future appears, just as everyone else is startling to settle back in. Predictably, this throws everything into confusion.

Tl;dr, Future Leonardo is sent back into the past and has to adjust back to a world sans apocalypse, and the family takes him in with open arms. Things between him and younger Leo are a lot more tenuous, but there’s a resolution early on that feels very true to their personalities—one less sure of himself, and the other who’s learned his lessons the hard way—that resonated strongly with me and made me fall in love with the story. Add to that some genuinely heartwarming moments with the family bonding, and you’re in for a good, if bittersweet time. 

Recoil by unorthodoxx

63,236 words, 10/10 chapters

Character Focus: Ensemble

Genre: Action, Team Bonding, Angst, Crossover

“Hey guys,” he yells.  “You might want to see this.”

It doesn’t take long for the three of them to spill into his lab.  Leo comes in first and drapes himself across the back of Donnie’s chair.  “What’s up?  You find the secret ingredient to Luenzo’s Pizza yet?”

“No,” Donnie scowls.  “They’re locked down tighter than Fort Knox, but it’ll fall soon.  They always do.  No fellas,” He enlarges the email, “We’ve been invited to a meet-up of sorts.”  

Raph’s hand settles heavily on his shoulder as the larger turtle leans in to read.  “Dear Genius Built…….Talk about…….agree to meet…..love…”

“IRONMAN!!?!?”  Mikey shouts.  “THE Ironman wants to meet us!”

“Wow,” Raph whistles.  “The Avengers.  That’s some top-level hero stuff.”

ROTTMNT crosses over with the MCU! Set in a world where both universes exist in the same setting, this fic takes place after the Krang Invasion, but fairly into the MCU’s history, long before the superheroes have their falling out. So long as you have any familiarity with the first Avengers movie, you’ll be able to follow the story fine, as it’s straightforward: the appearance of the Krang was as abrupt as their defeat, and Tony Stark can’t let sleeping dogs lie. After uncovering the turtles’ involvement, an in-person meeting is arranged to handle the fate of the Krang Key.

Most of this fic is just a fun excuse to let the ROTTMNT characters bounce off the MCU characters, and it’s fun to see who gets along and who doesn’t. That’s the thing I love in particular about this story—the author is true enough to their characterization that not everyone is friends by the end, in a way that makes whole sense. The Avengers are disasters themselves, after all. The plot of handling the key is done exceptionally well too, and there’s a lot of high octane action at the end that’s quite thrilling. If you’re looking for a good time, you’ll fine it in Recoil, and if you enjoyed it, there’s more where that came from! The author has planned out several other stories set later on in the same series, the first of which (where the turtles meet Spiderman) is already out. So keep an eye on that!

this kind of weather by ihaveathingforpink

21,526 words, 2/4 chapters (last updated 09/18/2022)

Character Focus: Leonardo & Michelangelo, Raphael & Donatello, Ensemble

Genre: Action, Hurt/Comfort, Crossover

“Well, if it is business you seek, Krang has a proposition for you. There are two turtles Krang wishes for you to…remove from the board as their tenacity has proven to be as obstructive as it is predictable. For our plans to proceed, it’s too dangerous for either to remain alive.”

Takeshi takes another sip before asking, “Turtles? As in the ninja turtles that reside beneath the city, whom everyone pretends doesn’t exist? The people of New York won’t be pleased if I do anything to harm their heroes.”

“Oh, I want you to do more than simply harm them. First, they need to suffer.”

“Suffering costs extra. I don’t do anything for free.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Yet you said two turtles when, last I checked, there’s four.”

“Ah, yes. They are of little concern to me. Krang only need you to get rid of two, and you must follow Krang's instructions precisely. Otherwise, you will fail. First, you will need to get rid of the little orange one; he may not look like much, but he’s one of the strongest mystic warriors of all time. I suggest you handle this one quickly—he can be quite slippery—but the blue one, Krang implores you to take your time.”

This story has one helluva hook. A surviving Krang puts a hit out on Mikey and Leo, and saying more than that would unfortunately spoil the twist of the first chapter. With just two chapters, though, this story is fascinating and deserves a lot more attention than it’s gotten. It has high stakes, great action, and is an emotional roller coaster that doesn’t let up. It’s also a bit of a crossover, though longstanding fans of the TMNT franchise will recognize these faces right away. That’s right, this is a crossover with Usagi Yojimbo! Besides characters of that series, though, there’s also a lot of familiar faces from previous TMNT series that Rise never got enough time to tackle, like Tiger Claw and Renet. 

You can probably guess from the latter’s name that things are about to get timey-wimey up in here, and you’d be correct. There’s an absolutely killer plot at work here, emphasis on the killer, and whether they want to or not the turtles have to take a divide and conquer approach to it while at one of their lowest points. Seriously, check this one out. 

Under Pressure by ParvumAutmaton

21,560 words, 4/4 chapters

Character Focus: The Boys & April

Genre: Suspense, Angst

“You know April, right?” The voice on the other end of the line asked. “You’re one of her gamer friends?”

Donnie blinked. The voice sounded familiar but that didn’t help him at the unholy hour where way too late morphed into way too early.

“And you are?”

“Her mother. Please, did she spend the night at your place?”

“No, she did not,” Donnie answered, forcing himself upright, his exhaustion evaporating with that question. “I believe she was planning on some extracurricular club activity yesterday afternoon. So we weren’t planning on seeing her.”

“I don’t suppose you know which club?”

“No, I do not.”

“Ok,” The waver Donnie heard in her voice implied that it wasn’t. “You will let me know if April gets in touch?”

“Of course Ms. O’Neil.”

The call ended.

Donnie stared at his phone.

One of the few fics on this list not set after the movie, this story takes place after the S2 finale on a dismal day when April goes missing. Investigating her disappearance leads the boys to a van and a lake, and an exploration on the dangers of cave diving. 

As you can guess from that description, this fic has quite the creative setup that’s both atmospheric and suspenseful. Be sure to heed the tags because it does get dark, but it’s still a great read, and the turtles’ determination to find their sister pulls at the heartstrings. 

➤ ➤ ➤ CANON DIVERGENT

big sister by Darth_Sunny

18,090 words, 6/? chapters (last updated 10/24/2022)

Character Focus: April & Family

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

April O’Neil wasn’t an only child anymore. She had four younger brothers, whom she loved with all her heart, and who she’d burned the world down for if anything were to happen to them. She’d fight every ancient mystic evil the world would throw at her if it meant keeping them safe. And if she couldn’t be there for them at the moment, she’d be there for them in the aftermath. She was their big sister, their oldest and only sister. : was the self-proclaimed protector, but even he needed someone to protect him and to help protect their younger brothers.

So that’s why, when she watched the portal close up, slicing the Technodrome in half, stopping the Kraang for good, knowing that he was trapped back in that prison dimension, April O’Neil felt her heart break into hundreds, thousands, millions of little pieces.

This one’s a fic following April’s perspective on the end of the invasion, from Leo’s sacrifice, to picking up Casey, and reuniting with the boys. It mostly follows canon, but there is a fairly major change revealed partway through that makes it canon divergent from the movie’s ending. It’s unclear if other changes will follow, but just in case it’s being slotted in the canon divergent category all the same. 

That’s not the focus, though. No, this fic is centered squarely on April and her relationship with the rest of the Hamato Clan. I love that it impresses how much April is a part of the family, and that the boys aren’t just her friends but her brothers, and that their pain is her pain. Watching the aftermath of the invasion unfold from her perspective is a fresh and evocative take. 

Like Father Like Son by eternalglitch

132,982 words, 25/? chapters (last updated 11/02/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Leo-centric)

Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

“Here, Boss!” Huginn darted back across the room, wings straining, as he carried a very… familiar…

“Uh, wait up, no,” Leo said, eyeing the blue object as Huginn dropped it into Draxum’s waiting hand. “Do you even know where that thing’s been? Have you properly washed it at least?”

Draxum’s roots suddenly shift, dragging Leo upright until he’s forced to stand on his tip-toes to have any sort of purchase. “I happened to have had it offered to me by the mutant that you call Meat Sweats,” Draxum said, admiring the collar (for that’s what it actually was, even if Leo had never called it that when it was just a gift from his brother) in the light. “He was quite helpful once I mentioned what I wanted to use it for.” Draxum started to approach, the collar held aloft.

“So, what,” Leo bit out. “You’re gonna stop me from saying my one-liners? Big whoop.”

“I think you’ll find,” Draxum coolly said. “That this has been modified to do so much more than that.”

This fic needs no introduction. In fact, there’s a high chance some of you heard of LFLS before they even saw Rise; I’ve heard of people who only watched the show just so they could read it! It’s the most popular fic in the fandom for a reason. If that’s scared you off, though, or if you’ve avoided it for other reasons, let me tell you why you should give it a chance. 

The fic takes some of Rise’s best villains and settings, and explores the darker sides of them (do heed the warnings in the tags). Leo goes through the absolute wringer, but the effect his disappearance has on his family plays a central part of the story as well, with all of the brothers getting full blown introspection and character arcs. Donnie’s in particular hurts me. The emotions are high and the plot is juicy, with some of the tightest writing the fandom has to offer, including intelligent plans and dialogue. As far as hurt/comfort goes, this is definitely a slow burn with a lot of angst, but the author has promised a happy ending. Between that and consistent updates (it’s been going strong for two years), what more could you ask for?

Three Days to Live by Werepirechick

93,992 words, 13/13 chapters

Character Focus: April & The Boys

Genre: Cyberpunk, Action, Human AU

The heiress and former target lowers her hands, keeping them placidly by her sides. “K-tech is a vicious, unrelenting company,” she says, glasses gleaming in the room’s light as she lifts her chin in defiance. “The people who run it are the same. They don’t let people get away, and they don’t leave loose ends. You were all on their shit list as much as I am, the second you signed on.”

Leo shifts his stance, tightening his grip on his gun. “So what are you proposing?” he asks coolly.

“Like y’all said. I’m the heiress to the company. In three days I’m going to walk into a courtroom, sign the papers that frees K-tech from the control of my guardian, and walk out the richest, most powerful person in North America.” O’Neil smiles bitterly. “That is, if I can survive the next seventy-two hours. That’s where you come in.”

“You want us to guard you,” Raph states.

Ohhh, this fic is an absolute gem. You can’t say no to a good Human AU in this fandom to start, but to top it off with a cyberpunk twist? Trust me, this is a match made in heaven. The plot kicks off when the boys—hitmen in this universe—are hired to take out April O’Neil, an heiress to one of the world’s largest tech companies. When things take a turn, she makes them a deal: protect her for three days instead, and she’ll make them rich beyond their wildest dreams.

The plot that follows is filled with danger, intrigue, and high octane action. The world is incredibly thought out and immersive, and makes for a great way to work ROTTMNT’s mystic powers into a new genre. The banter, though. If you’ve read any of Werepirechick’s other fics, you’d know that’s their specialty, and it’s no different here in Three Days to Live. While on the run from the powers seeking to destroy her, the boys and April bond and their friendship is perfection. The series also blends in characters from other iterations of the franchise, but it’s not too distracting, and for the most part remains firmly rooted in the Rise style. Do yourself a favor, and give this one a read!

Posted: 11/06/2022

[riddle-me-ri]

a/n: so umm…is it weird that I’ve given myself my own like brain rot for my general-partially biased take on a character? I just couldn’t get a Southern Jonathan out of my mind lmao. Plus as much as I’m absolutely suffering in this Texas heat…I do recall a time when summer was decent, especially at night out at my papa’s house…so it’s also a wee little love letter to those days…cause I do miss them. 

Trigger Warning: alludes to sexual activity but nothing explicit, some angst if you squint, heavy touching, and kissing. Also perhaps some wee OOC-ness maybe? This is a bit before he dives deep into his Scarecrow alias and my Jonny is a bit more confident when he’s with someone he cares for…and is in his neck of the woods so to speak.

Word Count: 1.2 k

General Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane x Reader - Summer Nights

Tiny blades of fresh grass bit slightly at your bare feet as you ran through the open field. Your smile was wide to the point it almost hurt your cheeks. 

Your long-time boyfriend, Jonathan Crane held your hand tightly as he lead you across the field to a little “watering hole” he called it. 

Your legs are just about to go numb from the long exertion of running to match up with Jonny’s pace, but you finally made it to a tiny lake that laid out just before some dense woods. 

The water glittered as it reflected the bright twinkling stars on a cloudless summer night. The moment is calm, just a few chirps of crickers or the grunts of toads filled the silence. 

Then you realize that Jonathan isn’t beside you anymore. 

“Jon?” You asked out loud, softly at first. “Ugh, Jonny! Where are you?” 

“Right here, darlin’.” He was behind a tall and wide tree. 

You walked over to the tree. “What’re you doing?” 

“Well, wouldn’t want to get my workin’ clothes wet, now would I?” He stepped out from behind the tree and he wore nothing but his boxer shorts. 

“Jonathan!” You squealed as you instinctively covered your eyes and turned away. 

“What? It’s not like you ain’t seen me in my skivvies before-”

“Not out here…i-in the open!” You hissed, you quickly glance around, hoping no one would show up to prove your point. 

“Honey, I can assure you we’re the only ones out here. You ain’t got nothin’ to be afraid of.” 

You scoffed, crossing your arms. “That’s rich coming from you.” 

Jonathan chuckled deviously. “Point taken. But I promise nothin’ will getcha…especially with me around.” 

He walked up towards you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You placed your hands on his chest. You could feel the pounding rhythmic beating of his heart past his pale skin. 

“Well…”

“Well what?” 

Jonathan grinned. “Aren’tcha gonna join me?” 

“Wha–?” Before you could finish asking, Jonathan broke from the embrace and dashed toward the short wooden pier. 

“Jonny!” You shouted, astonished. 

The only response was the sound of splashing water. 

You rushed out to the edge of the pier and watched your lanky boyfriend breakthrough the water. 

“What’re you waiting for? It’s awfully lonely out here!” He chuckled, swimming closer to you just below the edge of the pier. 

You were silent for a beat as your eyes shifted left to right. 

“Is the water cold?”

“Nope.” 

“Do I need to take off my clothes?” 

“Unless you wanna be cold when you get out, darlin’.”

Another beat. You sighed before slowly deciding to take off your clothes. You were still hesitant to get in until you were down to your underwear and heard Jon let out a wolf whistle. Pulled by the urge to smack him, you dove in after him. 

Jonathan’s laugh echoed as he tried to fend off your hands, restraining them in his hands by your wrists. 

“Was that so hard?” He teased. 

“No…but you lied. The water is a little cold.” You huffed.

Jonathan chuckled warmly, he placed your wrists around his neck and his hands went under water to wrap around your waist. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll help warm ya up.” 

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” You deadpanned before he leaned in to kiss you. 

His lips were wet from the water, making it all the more easier to get your tongue to slide past his lips and into his mouth. Your skin began sticking to his and his grip around your waist got stronger and tighter as if he was trying to keep you afloat for as long as he can. 

You slowly, although reluctantly pulled back. You rested the tip of your nose against the tip of his crooked one. You remember how it got so crooked in the first place. It was already adorably long…but it wasn’t always crooked. 

A couple of classmates from your college have always harassed you and one day Jonny saw it, needless to say he wasn’t going to let them pick on you, like they did him, without a fight. The fight eventually got broken up by the dean and Jonathan and the other party was suspended for a time. 

When you went to check on him the following day, his nose was inflamed and constantly bleeding. You remember kissing it that day…and the next day the bleeding stopped and the swelling went down. 

Back in the present, Jonathan began kissing and lightly suckling on the water droplets that fell down your neck. 

“J-Jonny…” You mumbled out, breathlessly. “I gotta ask you something.” 

Jonathan didn’t hesitate to raise his head up to look at you. “What is it, darlin’?” 

“I just…I’m worried about this whole…fear tactic thing…I don’t want you to get in trouble or get hurt! Billy isn’t worth the risk…just to get back at him?” 

Jonathan sighed. “Honey, we’ve been over this…men…or, better yet, boys like him need a taste of their own medicine. They need to know what it’s like to be afraid…submissive…powerless…if they don’t they’re just gonna keep picking on those weakest.” 

“But does it have to be you? Why do you got to do it?” 

Jonathan perked up an eyebrow, his eyes wandered off into the water as he thought about why. “Because I know…I know fear better than most anyone. Who better to rear it’s ugly head?” 

Your shoulders sloched as you sighed in defeat. You suppose there truly was no getting to him. To back out of this plan of his. 

You brought your hands up from around his neck to frame his jaw on both sides. Your thumb caressing just below his cheeks. 

“Just…please be careful, sweetheart.” You pleaded.

Jonathan leaned his face into your touch before softly kissing along the inside of your palm. “I will, honey. I always am.” 

“I’m looking at a crooked nose that says otherwise.” You giggled. 

Jonathan chuckled. “It didn’t get crooked under the best of circumstances, but I know you love it.” He brought his face down towards yours and rubbed his nose side to side against yours. 

Your smile grew as you pulled him in closer so his lips can meet yours again. 

After sucking on each other’s lips for awhile, Jonathan resumed his task from before with suckling along your skin. Finishing where he left off on one side of your neck and then going to the other side. Your fingers were dug deep in his wet mop of sandy brown hair, doing all that you can to keep his attention there. 

Jonathan pulled you closer to him once more, as the water tries to pull you apart. When your body was up against his, you felt a certain bulge below the surface. Your audible gasp, clued Jonathan to know you knew. 

“I think it’s time for us to take this back to dry land, whataya say, darlin’?” Jonathan whispered in your ear. 

You gulped, nodding your head against his. “Please.” 

Jonathan chuckled deviously. “You better shake a leg, or I’ma just have to drag you to the bottom with me.” 

You dramatically shrieked at the threat as you began swimming back to shore, with Jonathan quickly following you in your wake.

[phantomwritr]

It perfectly answer my questions ☺️ also for the fics ideas I don't know how far with AU you want to go with, but hear me out.

For Mawis I have two ideas like a Greek god AU with Lewis being Persephone and Max Hades. But I'm talking pre ancient Greece Persephone the one who was so feared we don't even know if Persephone is her real name. And I'm basing myself on this video of overly sarcastic production : https://youtu.be/Ac5ksZTvZN8?si=_08oj2oKvWlTZvTQ

My idea would be that Max/Hades was wondering what it was like on earth, especially since Lewis/Persephone wanted to come back to it so badly. And so after more than two millenia of staying in the underworld ruling it, he decided to let the judges of the underworld rule it for a while.

And so Hades disguise himself as a simple human. Powers being caged so he won't use them accidentally. What he finds out when he comes to the surface is a really strange and different world. So he ask a woman for an explanation and at first she looks at him strangely buy in a way she trust him and start speeling everything to him. That plus him actually doing a deep dive into her memory to get the most important informations.

So Hades looks at this world and if he can admit that some things in it are worth it other absolutely not. He was wondering when he got attacked by some random dudes. Hades wasn't aware that his choice of clothing would make him an easy target.

He is held down and getting the beating of his life when suddenly Lewis/Persephone appears. He has a dopey smile seeing his wife and in the next second those humans are memories.

And you can go with it for something else. I just want Protective Persephone/Lewis over Hades/Max. And then Lewis showing Max what he missed and them enjoying a little vacation in Europe. (Also I kinda like bottom Lewis 😅 just a preference thing).

Now onto the second idea, a royalty AU, with Lewis being the king and Max the fallen prince of the defeated kingdom. And it's not really developed in my mind so feel free to explore the idea even for a little drabble or something. I hate my writing style in English so this is why I'll probably won't write it.

The husbands 😊 : The classical vampire/werewolf one, with Christian being the vampire and Toto the werewolf. Because why not?

There's also the one where Toto is death itself and saves Christian from his time but by doing so, trap Christian in an eternal loop. The only way to escape it is either becoming Death compagnon (whatever that can mean) or find a way to die that even death can't prevent.

And finally, the shifter AU, the one where they can shift into a wolf and a fox. I kinda mixed in my head this AU with Toto as death AU. Toto taki'g revenge on the whole grid because they killed Lewis. And as his wrath was hitting them Christian made it. Then Toto lost control and shifts into his wolf form before launching toward Christian set on killing him. Christian afraid shift incontrolably into his fox form and Toto stops dead in his track. He wants to kill Christian but if he's a shifter like Toto then he is in danger because Bono and James are coming he can feel it and they don't know better than to kill any shifters on site. Because shifters are dangerous. Toto himself hides from them. So he let Christian go with the promise that next time they saw each other he will kill him. And Christian says he will do the same as now Max is also dead.

Probably not the best ideas here but we'll at least I hope it can make you laugh 💜

OMG, so many ideas! I love it! It’s straight up fantasy, which I really like. It’s my favourite genre to read! Maybe I should write it more.

I mean, I love Greek God AUs, especially when they feature Hades/Persephone as main characters, so I’ll definitely take a closer look at that one and see what I can do! And OOF Royalty AUs are awesome, I will probably do something with that one as well at some point! And the Death personified one…I LOVE IT! And a Dark Romance with a werewolf and a vampire? Good lord, I so wanna write that! Or read it, if someone’s cracked the code already.

I’m not sure I’m great at (shape)shift AUs but I do love the idea. Especially when it has (loss of) control as a theme. So who knows, perhaps in the future.

TYSM for sharing your ideas with me and if I get to writing any of them, I’ll dedicate them to you, because I hadn’t even thought of writing more Fantasy(ish) AUs with Mawis & the Husbands :))

And if you ever have any more ideas or just want to discuss, feel free to share or ask :)

And of course it’s also always free to ask writing-related Qs or anything about any fic, bc I’d love to talk more with y’all about just about anything😂

[heartandfangs]

Omg follow up on my other ask: I’d really love to know more about the whole creative process, like how you maintain the believability & essence of your characters in your stories, also how do you come up with the little nuances?? 😭 I feel like writing characters (especially maybe introverted ones) in a complex way can be so hard

You’re the first to ask me for writing advice so I’ve been looking forward to answering this 😆 Even though I just write for fun I love talking about creative processes. Sorry if this is long, but I could still discuss it even more lol. For you and anyone else, feel free to ask me more questions if you're curious! Always happy to talk about this.

Programs that I use are Google Docs (for that autosave feature baby, fuck writing on Tumblr), Grammarly (but I still find typos after posting rip), Theasaurus.com (I repeat words too much), any music app (IOU has its own playlist that I'll even listen to when I'm not writing), & Pinterest (for vibes + moodboards). I'm constantly switching between these tabs. When it comes to writing scenes I make sure it's something that engages me while writing and if it's boring to me, I'll scrap it or rework it after sitting on it for a bit. ✍️

Usually, if an un-written scene is haunting me over the course of several weeks, I have to write it; IOU Part 5 started with the scene where Heeseung can't hold himself back from kissing MC’s neck while dancing and then I just asked myself how did we get here, and what comes after? (Always easier said than done)

I have so much fun with stereotypes + tropes but I also love characters that are a little more grounded in reality; so I try to achieve that by imbuing them with characteristics/mannerisms that I’ve seen in people from irl experiences or myself. For these nuances, you can even get inspired by specific media/characters that you love to read/watch about.

I’d recommend making a list of your favorite characters + stories and jotting down a few bullet points of what you love about them, for whatever reasons. From there, you can create character dynamics that you enjoy, and if you enjoy writing about it, there are bound to be people who will enjoy reading it!

When I write, I draw a lot on experience, then I put a twist on it; it just comes easier that way to me. IOU is definitely pwp, but I like building up the tension a bit before giving out the goods hehe, that’s where characters come in with their weirdly unique selves to make the twist on reality happen.

It’s all about that balance to craft a character that works for your story and then the tension in their relationships with others. I'd say the tension between characters and their personal flaws is what makes something compelling to read.

I’m an introvert through and through, so my MC’s lean that way a lot lol. I’ll point out some examples of how I convey MC’s + Heeseung’s introversion below! (Gotta preface that not all introverts are relegated to this sort of behavior, this is just based on behaviors in myself and introverts I’ve come across) I've taken a class on personality psychology and used to dive deep into MBTI, which also helps.

Compare Heeseung’s interactions with MC vs Jay; he’s awfully stand-offish with Jay and reserved, but it's heightened due to jealousy. He’s an observant guy and tends to think/calculate before proposing anything— and of course, he’s extremely in tune with MC even when she’s not quite so with herself. Heeseung in IOU is learning how to be a bit more transparent/action-oriented with his feelings, but only where he believes it counts.

MC is shy and polite/friendly with Jay, but with Heeseung she teases him a bit more and lets down her guard without worrying about social niceties; but even then, she’s still a bit conservative with her true feelings. While she gets stuck in her thoughts often, Heeseung understands and knows how to draw her out of it.

She prefers her alone time to recharge over hanging out with a rambunctious Jake but makes an exception for Hee who has already won her over as a friend. MC's incredibly honest with Jake about her feelings though, but he values it even if it hurts. Still, he has to retaliate in his own little ways, and he excels at bringing out MC's trait of impulsivity which is... interesting.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Joe Davian Triple Feature

I sought out The Night of Submission for two reasons. One, it represents an intersection of two genres I’m interested in, horror and pornography. As much as I’d like to say that these are two great flavours that taste great together, the fact is that most hybrids are unfortunately heavy on sexual assault, which this movie thankfully isn’t. The other reason is that this is an early production from Avon Films, a mob-affiliated porno theatre chain that got asses in seats by churning out the roughest, meanest pornos to play 42nd Street. My introduction to Avon Films was through the work of Phil Prince, whose Taming of Rebecca is one of the most vile movies I’ve ever seen but also kinda, sorta, pretty effective as a work of horror, and with a great maniacal performance by George Payne. It’s a movie that’s kinda, sorta, maybe worth seeing at some point if you have sufficient interest in the darker corners of cinema, but also comes with a great big “Watch at your own risk” disclaimer. But let’s just say that when you start with something that unpleasant, the rest is gravy, and I did find myself warming up to Prince’s less caustic efforts, if only by virtue of a consistent aesthetic.

The Night of Submission is directed not by Prince but by Joe Davian, an earlier house director for Avon who like Prince was not a trained filmmaker, and actually came from a background of athletic coaching. (You can learn more about both directors through some great deep dive articles on the Rialto Report’s website.) The plot of the movie concerns a secret voodoo BDSM cult who use their secret voodoo BDSM powers to host a bunch of secret voodoo BDSM orgies. I mentioned earlier that this is thankfully not chock full of sexual assault, and in fact the activities of the secret voodoo BDSM cult, while not vanilla, seem entirely consensual. The cult is secret but not particularly sinister. Of course, this attracts the attention of a magazine publisher played by Carter Stevens, who dispatches his seemingly only reporter C.J. Laing to investigate, who reacts incredulously as she excitedly snaps photos of the proceedings. "My God, they're beating her to blood! This will be the biggest...the boldest...the best story of my life, I don't believe it!"

Unfortunately, the camera roll turns out to be entirely blank thanks to the cult’s secret voodoo powers, leading Stevens to fire Laing and take over the investigation himself by going undercover. What really happened is that Laing left the production after shooting her one scene, and Davian brought in Stevens in an effort to patch up the movie, and the audience is significantly worse off as a result. Instead of Laing, who is easy on the eyes and happened to specialize in the kind of scenes featured in the finished product, we’re stuck looking at Stevens, who resembles a long lost bearded Belushi brother and executes his scenes without a great deal of energy. The climax of the movie involves the characters participating in an overlong, shapeless orgy, after which Stevens types up his account of the events while his girlfriend Annie Sprinkle beams with pride. But wait, could there be one last secret voodoo surprise? Forgive me for spoiling the movie, the answer is yes.

Davian is obviously an inexperienced filmmaker, and while he has some sense of how to deploy music effectively to raise the movie’s pulse, most of this is formless and unexciting. There are moments when it approaches a horror movie atmosphere (the film’s most intriguing visual involves a fire being lit in front of a woman tied to a cross; I’m not an expert on fire safety but the distance between them looked safe enough), the cult’s lack of malicious intentions and the fact that a lot of this was obviously shot in somebody’s apartment, meaning the scariest thing is the decor. Was it too much to ask to set this in a dungeon? And I’ll admit I find orgy scenes pretty boring to watch in general as I never know what I’m supposed to be focusing on, I do think the movie’s reliance on them undermines its effectiveness. While these scenes arguably give the audience more bang for their buck, they’re overlong, uninterestingly filmed, and lack any of the kind of context regarding power dynamics or even basic characterizations that might give some tension to the proceedings. Prince’s films might be a lot more noxious, but that noxiousness lends it a certain charge that’s missing here. But really the movie’s biggest crime is that it casts both Annie Sprinkle and Vanessa Del Rio and manages to squander them both.

Domination Blue ups the production values by featuring an actual set. The movie is a hardcore take on the women in prison genre, which actually makes for pretty good bedfellows with pornography given that it’s largely motivated by titillation and doesn’t demand expensive production values. I’d previously seen the enjoyably campy Desperate Women, which features the adorable Taija Rae as well as Sharon Mitchell doing a terrible Latino accent. This movie also features Mitchell, but its tone is a lot meaner, leaning into its roughie dimensions by making its sex either nonconsensual or as demeaning as possible, interspersing abuse in the prison with the troubled case histories of the inmates. Most of the proceedings are unpleasant by design, and I admit that one scene involving a character having to eat brown, viscous slop made me gag a little. The only moment of levity comes when the prison warden gets dominated by his female assistant, who expresses some insecurity when he shows a preference for his blowup doll. "You love her more than me. She's just a plastic thing, she has no feelings, she can't beat you, she can't do anything, just be there.”

Joe Davian’s direction here is more assured than in The Night of Submission, as the stark lighting and heavy use of shadows (likely to hide the limitations of the set; you can spot a radiator in a few scenes if you squint) gives the movie a nicely sinister atmosphere. That being said, it seems that there might have been only one microphone used in the production, as it’s pretty much impossible to hear most of the actors clearly in any scene involving more than two characters. As far as the cast goes, Vanessa Del Rio gets one great line ("You bastard, why don't you go sit on a dildo?"), and the presence of Mitchell means we get to see some actual acting here. That being said, there’s one scene where she shoots up in a dirty bathroom that I found upsetting even by the grimy standards of the material, especially given her real-life struggles with substance abuse. And I do think the movie miscalculates when it shows her reminiscing about her boyfriend, as it shoots what should be a tender scene in the same dark, sinister lighting scheme as the rest of the movie.

House of De Sade feels like a redo of The Night of Submission, but more assured in its execution. The plot here involves the characters being invited a seance where they end up summoning the Marquis de Sade, who is touted as being “one of the most notorious sex fiends and villains ever known to man”. Now the fact is, the characters seem pretty well versed in his teachings already, so one wonders what they hoped to gain by summoning him (perhaps some recognition for their execution of his theories), but the movie does manage to conjure some lo-fi atmosphere. The haunted house the seance is set in is clearly just somebody’s house, but anytime you turn down the lights and have the characters walking through creepy corridors, I’m having a good time, and the movie does more or less deliver on that front. (Unfortunately, the characters foolishly split up to explore the house, violating one of the most important rules explained by Randy in Scream.) The movie does betray its budget as a lot of it is obviously dubbed, and it would have been funnier if Joe Davian went full Doris Wishman and avoided showing the characters’ mouths during dialogue scenes.

This stars Vanessa Del Rio, who apparently was quite sympatico with Davian‘s vision, and you can see the results here, as her scenes are substantially more energetic than anything else in the movie. (The highlight, I suppose, involves the creative use of a cucumber. While food play is not at all my thing, I must thank the movie for at least not opting for a tossed salad joke, which I’m pretty sure would have made me throw up. If I’ve caused you to lose your lunch, my apologies. And if I’ve piqued your interest, hey, more power to you.) Like in The Night of Submission, Davian cuts multiple scenes of sexual activity together likely to give the audience better value, but the juxtaposition only emphasizes that Del Rio was operating on a whole other level than the rest of the performers, and that the movie would have been better off just sticking to her. And of course, there are some spooky highlights, including a hunchback in a mirror, a painting with moving eyes, nunchuks (alas, nobody demonstrates their nunchaku technique), and Del Rio getting ejaculated on by a possible ghost and then calming her nerves by indulging in a threesome. We’ve all been there.

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

BETTLEMANIA

This is Billy the Beetle:

And this is how I came to meet Billy and some of his exoskeletoned pals last week:

One Sunday afternoon last November I was driving through Phoenix with my cell phone in my hand. I doubt I'll get much sympathy when I tell you that I suddenly noticed a police officer on a motorcycle with his lights flashing in my rearview mirrors. I spit out an expletive and pulled over.

"Important call?" the cop asked drily, when he walked up to the car.

"Not important enough, I'm guessing," I said with a sigh.

He explained to me that it's now illegal to have a cell phone in your hand, on or off, while you're driving, unless you're calling 9-1-1. There was no such urgency to my call; embarrassingly, I was taking the opportunity of a boring drive home to catch up with a friend back east. I was sufficiently chastened that I hoped the cop might let me go with a warning, but it was not to be; he wrote me a ticket and encouraged me to get a hands-free device.

What can I say? As the Brits put it, "It's a fair cop." I was totally guilty. If my kid was doing it, I'd be furious, so I could hardly make excuses for doing it myself. I resolved then and there to put my cell phone down while I'm driving, and to pull over if I had to make a call, and I've stuck to it. So I guess it's a just and effective law.

This didn't mean, of course, that I wanted to pay the fine of over two hundred bucks, so I looked into taking an online traffic class. Trying to enroll in the CHEAP EASY FAST Arizona Defensive Driving video course, I soon found that all three of the titular adjectives were questionable. Between the tuition and various other fees, the course came to an amount remarkably close to the amount of the fine. Not so cheap, then. But I didn't want a conviction, even a no-points conviction, on my record, so I signed up anyway.

Turns out that by law, the course has to be at least four hours long. So the claim that it's "fast" is based on the fact that it's as fast as is legally allowed. And easy? Well, the multiple-choice quiz questions are easy enough as long as you listen carefully to the video segments, but if you fail to catch a tidbit of information that's asked and guess wrong, you have to watch the whole segment over again from the beginning, and some of the segments are more than ten minutes long. So for me, the class, which after weeks of procrastination I finally took a week or so ago, lasted well over four hours, alas.

What I didn't expect in all this, is that the course would be hosted by bugs.

Not Bugs Bunny; bugs. As in insects. Billy, who appears to be a purple stag beetle with mandibles rising over his head like Viking horns, is the courteous, slightly stuffy host. His cohosts are Larry the Locust, a sensualist who thinks mainly of his stomach...

...and Beatrice, or possibly Bee-Atrice, the Honeybee...

As they explain, who better to teach us about driving safety then the hapless creatures who regularly splat into our windshields? And teach they do, in comprehensive, sometimes repetitive detail and at a leisurely pace; it led me to the suspicion at times that they were vamping to fill up the four hours. There's a surprisingly philosophical deep dive into the psychology of driving, as when they note that road rage can result when our "belief system is challenged," as well as of the physical impacts of poor driving, as when they note that anger management reduces the chance of a heart attack by 44%.

This unhurried atmosphere also allows for rich character development and interpersonal dynamics between the bugs. For instance, when Billy reproves Larry for his tardiness and self-indulgence, Beatrice challenges him for unfair self-pity. Maybe it's just me, but I thought I detected a hint of sexual tension between Billy and Beatrice.

Even with all of this, however, Billy, Larry and Beatrice are not sufficient to fill the time requirement all by themselves. Much of their role is introducing video segments on safe driving sourced from all over the place, especially YouTube. At least one came from England; a likable young Brit calculates the kinetic energy of two vehicles at different speeds.

There's candor, too, as when Scottsdale-based lawyer Robert Gruler of the R&R law firm discusses how commonly Arizona police officers hand out the charge of Criminal Speeding: "It's ridiculous, but they do it." The effect of this jumble of information offered in a jumble of formats and presided over by arthropods was deeply weird. It was also, I must sheepishly admit, informative and thought-provoking.

At one point Billy and his pals note that as we age, our senses and reaction times lose their sharpness. When I looked up the life spans of the stag beetle (1-2 years) the locust and the honeybee (both under a year) it gave this lesson an extra poignancy, especially considering that you have to have your learner's permit for at least six months.

[tdcloud]

Ruari Character Overview (blog#9)

Good god, where has the year gone? It’s already August and it feels like New Years was like, a month ago… They say time flies when you’re having fun, but to be honest, time never moves faster than when you’re juggling deadlines and praying for a few extra days at the end of the week just to keep caught up. July was definitely another month of me trying to get myself caught up, and while marginally successful in that regard, I’ve still got a lot I need to get working on to be in a good place come October. For that reason, let’s keep things simple this month and do another character profile. 

Ever since I posted the Corbet profile I’ve had several people ask for a Ruari one. I held off on it for a bit since I just didn’t think Ruari’s profile would be as interesting as Corbet’s—after all, Ruari’s backstory was explored pretty heavily over the course of Deluge and Apricity. He had a lot more screen time, and his past played an active role in the events of the series. I figured there wasn’t a whole lot more to tell when it comes to him, but I don’t know, maybe there’s some tidbits of lore hiding in the recesses of my memory that’ll give you guys something new to learn about him!

Let’s get to it!

I suppose I’ll start with some general fae lore since Ruari being fae in my world building inhibits the concept of a “childhood” the way Corbet had. If you guys recall, there’s the concept of a “Spring” in the series as a sort of origin point for fae. It’s called that because it happens in Spring but also because fae “spring” into existence. I don’t think I ever got more detailed about it than that—as we’ve covered in previous Tempest deep dives, I didn’t plan this series as well as I would today and therefore didn’t bother coming up with particulars or specifics on what “springing into existence” entails. In vague terms, it’s meant to imply that every spring nature spawns new fae. During Petrichor we learned that sometimes nature makes mistakes, such as the Twins’ situation, but for the most part, it’s a normal, natural process that births new fae into existence a handful at a time.

If you've ever been curious about Ruari’s birthday or zodiac, I’m sorry to say that information like that doesn’t exist. He was just one fae of maybe half a dozen born around the year… 300 C.E.? Maybe 400? Again, I’ll have to apologize because it’s been so long since I’ve thought about Tempest minutiae that I’m not positive if I ever specified how old Ruari is. I know he’s younger than Aisling and Avenir by a fair amount, but still very old compared to most fae in the time of Corbet’s inception into the story. Brontide is set in the mid-1400s, if I recall correctly. I know he’s at least a thousand…?

What I can be more concrete on is his life AFTER his creation. Ruari joined the royal guard. He had to work his way up the ranks like anyone else, proving his merit as he went, and it was there that he met some of the familiar faces that survived the centuries at his side, namely Corin and Gali. He would have met Eolande there as well, though Eolande was older than him and already established within Aisling’s ranks—though not yet her personal guard. That occurred after Eolande countered an attempted assassination contrived by Unseelie insurgents when the treaty between the Courts was far less stable than it became in “modern” times. I’m only mentioning Eolande in a Ruari overview because we own them for Ruari getting the chance to prove himself as a military leader. It was Eolande who, after rising up to become Aisling’s personal bodyguard, nominated Ruari to fill their position in their stead. 

After that, it’s fairly present in canon what happened next with Ruari. He established himself as a captain of the guard, earned Aisling’s personal trust, and was well loved among his soldiers. When the war between the Courts and Milesians broke out, he was on the front lines from day one with his army to stop the enemy’s progression towards the Courts. While so far from Aisling, he had an unrestricted view of the banality of the war they were fighting, of the pointlessness of it, and the sheer amount of death being wrought all the same. At some point you hit the point of no return—there’s a cost sunk fallacy reference in all of this somewhere, and it spirals into the situation we see so clearly on display in Deluge. Aisling called to surrender and Ruari couldn’t stomach the thought after all the death he’d seen. He staged a coup with the remnants of his loyal army, slaughtered those who opposed him, and crowned himself King in hopes of reclaiming the world above the Sidhe. 

The thing I still really like about this series—and specifically the dynamic between Ruari and Aisling—is that everyone makes the best choice they have at the moment of truth. And yet, it’s still always the wrong one. Hindsight is a bitch. Aisling saw her own horrors and simply desired to spare everyone from further ones. She capitulated and reaped the consequences in turn. Ruari saw his share of blood and despair and desired to find meaning in all of that sacrifice, to honor those who had died by continuing to fight on. He rebelled, usurped, and realized quickly enough that there was never any chance of winning the war—but by then, it was too late. Everyone makes their choices and learns that the ripples of fate are far more disruptive than their own limited perspective ever could have led them to believe. Corbet himself carries that theme, too. The events of Brontide and his spiraling mental health in Petrichor showcase for the reader how badly these sorts of decisions ferment in a mind unaccustomed to living with an eternity of guilt one one’s shoulders. 

But let’s get back on track. I originally came up with Ruari’s backstory and overall Vibe while researching Emperor Constantine. He was sent into Britain with his army to fight alongside his father, one of the members of the Tetrarchy (a group of four men who served emperors of Rome). After his father died, his army declared him Emperor outright. They served under him and fought the civil wars that followed, emerged victorious, and saw Constantine crowned sole Emperor of Rome. I wanted to capture in Ruari the sort of person you’d have to be to inspire such faith in battle-worn soldiers. It was treason they asked him to commit by declaring himself sole Emperor the way he did, and their faith in him was so strong that it was worth the risk of him failing. You’d have to be a special kind of leader to inspire half of what those soldiers felt towards Constantine. I tried to make Ruari that kind of person, or at least my best attempt at what I thought I could manage. 

Ruari, at his core, is a soldier who yearns for the light. He takes his duty seriously but was well known as a flirt and heart-breaker before his ascent to the throne. After that, he lost a lot of his levity. I didn’t write Brontide with enough pre-canon in mind, and therefore lost a lot of my chances to make Ruari’s perusal of Corbet more meaningful than what it came off as, but I do want to stress now that Corbet was the first mortal Ruari ever stole, the first person he’d tried to romance with any sincerity since he became king, and was generally just the first chance Ruari took on attempting personal, selfish happiness after his stint in war, usurpation, and the killing of his kin—and then the failure to bring about the change he killed to attempt. What we see of Ruari in Brontide is a glimpse of the old Ruari before everything went to shit for him. I think that’s why Corin and Gali were so intent on helping him, so supportive of Corbet’s presence there, and so determined to keep Corbet alive when Avenir launched their assault on the Seelie Court. He’s the first selfish thing Ruari’s let himself want and they wanted him to have it without being punished for the attempt.

I wish Ruari had more of an unseen backstory to divulge, but given how the story went, he had a lot of his life told on screen. Hopefully, that was still interesting for some of you, and maybe there was something new learned? If not, maybe this next segment will shed some light on new corners of Ruari’s character. Let’s move on to some fun facts and fan submitted questions from Instagram, Twitter, and Discord!

The name “Ruari” translates into “Red King” and is one old spelling for the name Rory—it’s also pronounced the same, so sorry for all of you out there saying it some other way XD 

Ruari’s love of baths comes from his time spent in the field. He couldn’t bathe much then and it’s his number 1 way to relax and destress

He’s 6ft 1 I believe… maybe 6ft 2, something around that

Despite being a soldier, he doesn’t have a ton of scars that show through his glamour. Magically inflicted ones tend to be easily enough to cover but ones caused by metal or inorganic material are harder, which is why Maol’s ring wound showed until he consciously put effort into hiding it

The real reason why Tailan dislikes him isn’t necessarily Ruari-specific, but just a general aversion to fae inclined to trickery/deceit. It’s after he befriends Corbet and sees what Corbet goes through that he gets outwardly and directly antagonistic towards Ruari—though a portion of that is just Tai being jealous of Ruari getting Corbet’s attention XD and that street goes both ways

He’s too guilty to sleep with fae which is why he sticks to mortals

As you’ll soon learn in Hiraeth, he’s a bit of a bridezilla

Onto questions:

Why doesn’t Ruari have long hair?

Linden, my effervescent flower, how many times must I tell you? He doesn’t have long hair because he’s a soldier and because I don’t want him to XD No matter how many times you draw him with Disney princess hair I will not change my stance on this! Go play with Avenir or Eolande’s long hair!

Did Ruari choose his human like “glamour”? Or can he look any way he wants to at will?

I’ll answer the second part first because that’s the easier question: He can look any way he wants at will, but the further he departs from his current form/size/limbs/structure, the more effort it takes to hold and the more taxing it’ll be to maintain. If you recall in Deluge, he only managed to make himself blond while in the Unseelie Court. That’s a demonstration of both glamours taking effort to pull off but also the limiting factor of being surrounded by Unseelie magic—the most he could change was hair color. Corbet, on the other hand, was able to fully change his gender, hair length, and body type while surrounded in Unseelie magic because he is technically an Unseelie fae—or was, at that moment in time. Aisling managed her disguise because she’d incredibly skilled magically and also insanely old. Hopefully, that makes sense and puts it all into perspective. A lot of the magic in these books is based more on Vibes than hard and fast rules, but at its core, a glamour is a glamour and can let a fae take any guise.

Now, as to Ruari’s appearance… that’s more complicated. Fae tend to base their looks on their own idea of personal aesthetics. Unseelie embrace inhumanity and Seelie tend to live closer to mortals and therefore tend to take their forms into account when sculpting their own, and any “inhumanity” that bleeds through typically looks more nature/plant-like than the Unseelie’s animal-inspired shapes. Ruari does have a “true form” that isn’t what we or Corbet see, but he’s shaped it into our handsome redheaded king because that’s who he views himself to be. He’s been in that form for so long that it doesn’t take much effort for him to maintain now. 

Please don’t ask me what he actually looks like XD I am not creative enough to begin to design something like that.

Has Ruari ever been malicious to humans because of what happened in the past?

Since I know the person who asked this question hasn’t read enough of the series to know the answer to this, I’ll just say that Ruari’s antagonism towards humans was mostly expressed during the war with the Milesians and a few years after that. Once he realized the futility of the situation he distanced himself from mortals at large until the strong emotions faded and let cooler heads prevail. I’d say once several generations had passed he wouldn't have held the bad blood earned in war against those who weren’t involved. The Seelie are tricksters, not malicious neighbors. If they’re attacked or given just cause, they can retaliate or protect themselves, but they don’t seek out humans anymore to harm. 

Does Ruari let other fae have human pets/partners?

Oh lord, no, not his subjects at least. He has no issue with them going above to trick or find lovers or what have you, but he doesn’t allow them to bring mortals below—at least, not Irish ones. There’s a section in the treaty following the war that forbade fae from either Court from purposefully seeking out Milesians or their descendants for malicious purposes. The reason Ruari took Corbet was because he heard Corbet speaking French and realized he wasn’t a native mortal. That prevents Corbet from being protected by the treaty, and therefore free game. Given how militant most Irish-folk are about warning travelers away from dangerous/fae areas, what happened to Corbet wasn’t common and only Ruari would’ve had the balls to turn it into a kidnapping. 

Now, the Unseelie on the other hand… Well, stuff about that will come up in Hiraeth. 

Ruari’s always been a favorite of mine. I think it’s becoming a joke amongst my friends and fans alike when I say I like “disaster redheads” best, and it’s just so real. Writing Deluge let me really get into Ruari’s head and show just how much he feels and cares, how he compartmentalizes to stay sane, and how he’s always finding new causes to fight for, even if death is on the table in return. I think back to writing Apricity when I had to write the chapter where Aisling tells Ruari that they’re surrendering the war, and just… God. Seeing how bloody and broken he is, how hard he tries to summon up some of his usual levity for Aisling just for her to crash the roof down on top of his head and destroy what little faith he had left in her… I made so many missteps in the process of writing this series, but there’s still so much buried in the characters and their decisions that I can’t help but adore. Ruari is the epitome of what I love most in  my fiction: flawed people making decisions and then being forced to live with the consequences. I fell in love with him alongside Corbet in some ways, and I pity him in so many others.

How do you guys feel, though? Ruari isn’t even remotely close to my most contentious love interest I’ve written—that’ll have to wait for whenever Navidae’s overview happens—but there are a fair share of comments I’ve heard from people who either hate him or love him. I think he’s a moron, but one I can understand. Do you guys like him? Are you team Aisling like my artist Sun XD Or are you team Corbet like the vast majority of my readers seem to be? Chime in below, let me know, and as always, until next time!

T.D. Cloud

P.S. 

I suppose I’ll plug my patreon again here and entice you guys with the knowledge that I have a lot of non-canon/canon scene studies, extras, aus, and scrapped smut scenes involving Ruari, Corbet, Aisling, Avenir, Shea, and Breena on there, as well as annotated chapters and all of the story outlines and chapter notes I used while writing the full series. For as little as $1 a month you can have access to my backlog, $5 will get you all my writer’s extras, and anything more than that will just get you into my good graces for the rest of eternity XD Check me out and help support what I do in between book releases! https://www.patreon.com/terminallydepraved 

[supersquiddy]

Correct me if I’m wrong, but did the movie basically say Kaworu’s fixation on Shinji was “wrong” and then have Shinji get with Mari and Kaworu get with Rei at the end? I don’t get why they put so many romantic connotations in kawoshin just to say homo bad, het good.

Hi! For me personally, I saw things a bit different. Yes, Kaworu did say he misunderstood Shinji's happiness. Yes, Kaji said that it was Kaworu's happiness Kaworu wanted. But he also said that Kaworu wanted Shinji's happiness to make himself happy. I don't think this is necessarily a condemnation of Kaworu's actions. It seems like if Shinji was happy, he was happy, he just had to make Shinji happy. But he didn't know how. He assumed what Shinji needed to be happy. And yes, it is wrong to assume what someone needs, but Kaworu really doesn't know what else to do. From my understanding, in 3.33, Kaworu's understanding of what Shinji needed to be happy was that Shinji needed to pilot again. They needed the spears to reverse the damage Shinji did to the world. However, things didn't go as planned. It was actually a trap. Kaworu thought Shinji's happiness would be found in an Eva again but he was wrong. That's why in 3+1, Kaworu apologizes to Shinji about misunderstanding his happiness when Evas were brought up.

And it's a lot like real life, some people want to help another person but they don't ask the person what they really need. They just do what they think is right for the person. They are wrong but they aren't bad people (usually) for it.

Personal example: I have a friend who I love to bits. He's pretty much the Shinji to my Kaworu (platonically.) There have be plenty of times when I felt so similar to him. (The "I'm you. I'm just like you." line from Kaworu hit me so hard cause I thought about how I felt about my friend.) I'm always trying to help him, trying my best to help him be happy because that makes me happy to. Especially since I feel so similar to him, it's like I'm giving myself the help I never got. But oftentimes, I project my own ideas of what it means to be happy on him instead of concidering what he wants. It isn't out of malicious intent, it's just comes from the strong desire to help him. But it isn't right. So Kaworu's scene hit home to me and I got it cause I experienced it in a way.

I personally don't think that since the movie said he misunderstood what Shinji wanted, doesn't necessarily mean he was a bad person. I think the movie was just trying to flaw him like all the other characters since Kaworu is, compared to the main cast, pretty flawless. However I wish they did a better job since I've seen many people disappointed or confused about this choice. I wasn't bothered by it at all because I related to it. Hopefully my rambles make sense to you!

Now to address the other part of your ask! What was that ending? To keep it short, I believe that these "pairings" aren't set in stone. Mari and Shinji did flirt with each other but does that 100% mean they are dating? Not exactly. Rei and Kaworu were seen standing and talking next to each other, does that mean they are dating? Not exactly. One thing I've noticed that is sometimes lost in online discussion is interpretation. Not everything we watch has a set meaning. You and I can watch the same thing and have wildly different takes from it, and that's perfectly fine. Everyone won't always agree what they feel or think a piece of media has to say. As far as I know, Anno did not come out and confirm it himself that Shinji and Mari are dating and that Kaworu and Rei are dating. So it's all up to how you interpret their relationship. Some might see it as purely romantic, some might see it as purely platonic, they are both interpretations that can work. I think it's interesting at least that Shinji and Mari are shown on one side of the track. While Askua, Kaworu, and Rei are shown on the other. They are all, I asume, dead. But Mari was able to retrieve Shinji. So it's the classic one side has the living, the other side of the tracks have the dead visualization. I have nowhere to go with that but I just wanted to point it out.

I find it also interesting that they showed Kaworu and Rei next to each other. This movie compared Kaworu to Gendo. Kaworu is determined to make Shinji happy just as much as Gendo is determined to see Yui again, and they both fail to make things go as planned. So very interesting things can be taken from seeing Kaworu and Rei together. Since they are representations of Shinji's parents, they could be dating. (I don't believe that but I'm trying to show that things can be interpreted in different ways.) Or, if you want to go the more "deep route", they are important halves to Shinji's whole. Kind of like you are half one of your parents and half the other. (Very lose explainion of genetics but you see what I'm saying???) I'm not saying that they literally ARE his parents, but are halves of Shinji similar to how one is "half" their parents. Think about in EOE. First when Kaworu was another part of giant Rei. And then that part where Rei and Kaworu were with Shinji, helping him decide between humanity and Instrumentality. Shinji asks "what are the two of you within my heart?" Rei responds that "We are the hope that people will one day be able to understand each other." And Kaworu says "We are the words, "I love you."" Shinji just wanted to be understood and loved. However, Shinji says it is just a pretense, just a claim. But that isn't important to dive into for the point I'm making. Kaworu and Rei are reflections of what Shinji desires. And it's a decent thematic choice to have them resemble his parents in 3+1 the since they are halves of Shinji's heart that makes up his whole. Shinji's WHOLE character is driven by the desire to understand, but how? He is driven to be loved, but how? Kaworu and Rei reflect that.

All of that to say that there are a lot of things you can take from just the little bit of information. I wasn't fond of the ending but it didn't make me feel like the movie was saying that straight was good and gay was bad. HOWEVER, I do not fault you at all for seeing it like that. Because, on the surface it really does look like that....it really does. Both Kaworu and Mari are queer coded and seemly put in het relationships. But in Evangelion, things aren't always what they look on the surface. There is so much you can take from one scene, there are different ways to read what you're presented. I can't pretend to know Anno and his intentions for the Rebuilds, especially this one, but I don't believe he wanted things to be so cut and dry.

As you can see, I'm very passionate about this!!! Hopefully what I said made a lick of sense. And if not, please Anon ask me to clarify some things. Or maybe you want to challenge what I said! Which is cool too. Eva is a series I really love and I learned quickly that you got to realize that not everything is as it seems in the show.

I'll leave you with this: Remember that Kaworu and Shinji's names are written in the Book of Life. They are bound to meet each other over and over again. Being linked that way is pretty romantic. I'm with you Anon, kawoshin has so much potential that was seemingly shattered by this movie. But there are still some beautiful albeit brief moments between the two.

[nox-artemis]

Kentaro Miura

It took me awhile to get my thoughts in order. Honestly, as well intentioned as they are, a constant stream of fan tributes on Twitter and Tumblr more-or-less telling me how to process “The End” of Berserk with Miura’s death didn’t do a lot to console me, so I had to take some huge steps away from social media and only conversed my feelings with my other close Berserk fan-friends.

It was very surreal waking up yesterday morning to a friend messaging me simply saying, “did you hear the news?” When shit like that happens, I go onto my Google stories app and scroll through. I didn’t find anything really worth getting too upset over (maybe a bit sad that Queen Elizabeth II’s doggo died?) so it hit me to check my Twitter feed instead.

And that’s when I saw it.

We all know death is inevitable, and life is pretty much spent prolonging the point to that inevitability as well as preparing ourselves for when it happens to us or someone close to us. Being part of the Berserk fandom was the only time we all collectively had this on our mind not only for someone else but for someone we never met or really knew that much about. We only knew Miura through his magnum opus – and that was good enough for us. And no matter how much we discussed the worst-case scenario – pondering how the story would continue and how WE would continue – it still wasn’t enough to prepare us for this amount of shock. Hearing Miura had died and that the Berserk we know and love under his direct supervision is over truly felt like losing a long-lost friend.

It wasn’t just that the Berserk we know of is “over”, but that Miura didn’t have to die. He was only 54: not a young age, but not an old age either, especially by today’s standards. He could have seen the end to his magnum opus the way he envisioned it, yet he died of something so avoidable but is only brought about by a great deal of stress (from what I’ve read). It was always a morbid open rumor that so many of Miura’s infamous hiatuses were actually mental and/or physical health breaks, so the older or more conscious of us fans, while always eager and anxious for a new chapter, learned to not take them so personally. Miura was a spellbinding artist and storyteller, but he was also a human with his own life and conflicts that he was entitled to address at his own pace. This isn’t meant to blame anyone (at the very least, maybe to address some societal/industry issues), but it’s troubling enough to remind everyone – as the story of Berserk has demonstrated – that you need to take care of yourself physically and mentally, and while everyone struggles in life, you don’t have to struggle alone.

I always despised this weird cult of youth that insinuates that life isn’t worth pursuing once you hit your mid-thirties, and how some people so engulfed in their youth insist that they wouldn’t mind dying by the age of 50 or 60. It’s a shame when people live by that because there’s so much to live for beyond your youth – as I’ve learned, I only started buckling down when I transitioned into my thirties. Miura could have had a longer life ahead of him, going beyond Berserk and into his other endeavors, professional and personal, but that will unfortunately never happen now.

Everyone knows I have a lot of thoughts and opinions on Berserk. Most of you found out about me through my blogging several years ago, and I’m pretty proud that I was never the sort of fan that groveled at Miura’s feet and treated Berserk as some untouchable holy book: there were things I disliked about Berserk and things that disappointed me about Miura’s writing, but there were SO MANY MORE THINGS that I loved about Berserk and was proud of Miura for, and I wished him to continue his advancement in narrative growth. He did so and we watched it happened.

And, by meeting so many friends and acquaintances through the fandom, we saw a lot in ourselves change too. It’s surreal how we always joked that it would be one of us fans who would die before Berserk ended or the worst-case scenario of Miura dying; maybe some of us secretly preferred for that happen. But when we weren’t waiting around for another chapter… look at how much we’ve done with our lives! We graduated high school, undergrad, grad school, started and advanced our careers, traveled the world, got together, popped out a kid or two!... And while we experienced a lot of downfalls and tragedies that coincide, can you believe how much we have accomplished together?

We were all personally inspired, motivated, persuaded by Berserk in different ways: a lot of us were inspired for the better and admittedly, some for the not-as-good (if spending countless hours on Tumblr has taught me, there were definitely some toxic fan takeaways that had to be confronted). I’m not going to go to the point of saying that I now live my life by Berserk’s philosophy to a T or live as a reflection of certain characters (because I’m pretty sure that Miura was trying to tell us to NOT live your life like some particular characters) but it certainly helped to brings some aspects of life and existence into perspective, through the lenses of so many characters. Berserk also inspired me to write more, an already favorite pastime of mine, and how I should go about writing and planning a story, taking cues from Berserk on how to and how NOT to write and approach things in my own way, which I think is for the best in the long run. I can only dream that I’ll be published someday – which doesn’t have to be a pipe dream because it’s still much more possible than impossible. And so many other have done the same, creating our own stories and works.

And OF COURSE Berserk inspired me to be a little bit badass from time to time in moments of frivolity and seriousness – but it reminds us all that being badass and being a kinder person who tries to become the best version of themselves are not mutually exclusive. We definitely need more of that in today’s world.

We all made our own little bonfires of dreams happen, and because of Berserk existing, there will be a lot more beginnings than endings, and I don’t see a lot of bonfires being extinguished anytime soon. Miura poured his heart and soul into Berserk and its characters, and while he has passed on, his characters and lessons will live on through us and everything we create and how we live our lives (hopefully for the better).

I was happy to share all of my thoughts with you all – and I’ll continue to do so, since the mythos of Berserk has been a major backdrop of my creative mind for over fifteen years now and there is still so much to dissect and speculate. Personally, I don’t see Berserk ending just yet, if only because I’d be surprised that Miura or his publisher didn’t have some Operation London Bridge type plan in place in the event that this happened (Berserk is, after all, a major title that most likely brings Young Animal a lot of revenue). Again, I never treated Miura or Berserk as divine untouchables, so if there are plans in place to continue Berserk without Miura (BUT with his permission) or just on how to wrap up the story to give it a fulfilling conclusion, I personally would be okay with it (as a friend of mine put it, it’d be more of a tribute than an imitation). Going beyond our lifetimes, works will continue to be interpreted and reinterpreted as they have since time immemorial; perhaps Berserk will reach that point someday.

Honestly, and many have thought so too, Berserk was also meant to be cosmic level in both scale and concept. The plot is so grand and Byzantine that, even under Miura’s direct supervision, I always had a hard time envisioning how a story of this scale would conclude. As much as we love to hate him, a final showdown between Guts and Griffith seems too simple, too “good vs. evil”-esque for Berserk. Maybe having a low-key, vague but optimistic and bittersweet wrap up is what is best for Guts, Casca, and their new-found family. But that’s just another one of my fan speculations.

Regardless or what is to become of Berserk now, I think it’s safe to give adulations. We all came across Berserk at different times in our lives and stuck with the story for different reasons. For some of us, it was just another series that our friend from the campus anime club recommended to us; for others, we were drawn in from a morbid curiosity of its dark notoriety in anime circles. A few of us read for the gratuitous violence and the clout (because we all know you’re so deep and hardcore [/sar]), but a lot more of us read for the journey and the characters that we became a part of. The heaviness of Berserk made us confront a lot of trauma and even relive our own. For some of us, understandably, it was not a good idea to dive deeper (and maybe somethings could have been handled better); for the rest of us, it helped us cope, if not entirely through the story itself, than through the support network we made for ourselves in this fandom and its many realms (some realms, I argue, are more caring and nurturing than others).

From time to time, I always wonder if I would ever “grow out” of Berserk. There were indeed several times I took a step away from fandom and have tried to reduce my exposure to the story - but I always came back in some way, because the essence of Berserk has never left me and never will. Humorously I envisioned myself actually forgetting about Berserk for several decades, decades in which I work at my career, raise my family, mourn my elders, but continue living my life, only to go on the future internet in my mid-50s to find out… Miura is STILL working on that ending, sitting at his desk in the same pose as that famous monochrome capture of him, only he’s grayed and wrinkled, like the great Miyazaki.

The possibility of that future is over, but there are so many others.

[bokunosimpfiction]

Kidnapped Yandere!Heisenberg x Reader Pt.5

Summary: You feel emotions other than rage and sarcasm oh my god 

A/N: The reason I took a break from this series was because I had no idea where to take it from that cliff hanger, and I felt that character development needed to be done before we dive head first into the plot. This is part of that, but keep in mind it’s not filler like Chapter 2 became. I think it’s funny that this was SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING ONE SHOT BUT APPARENTLY FUCKING NOT. I’ll be posting another chapter for this series soon. Also feel free to send me asks about this series. I’ve been getting comments on my ao3 that are a) genius b)hilarious and c)heartwarming. Talk to me. Please! Ask and anon should be open right now let me know if they aren’t!

Masterlist link for previous parts:

Link to this chapter on AO3:

Taglist: @localdepressedvampire​ and one person recieving updates via email

The fresh cold late-autumn air made your lungs sting. And the layers of clothes didn’t help fight the chill you didn’t know you were facing. Has it been that long since you’ve been outside, to see the sun? You stick your arms in your armpits under your outercoat. Well, Heisenberg’s spare trench coat. It was much too big, the cuffs of the sleeves going well past your fingertips and the bottom half an inch from the ground.

You were so used to the fluorescent lighting and the warm dry air of the factory, that your body went into some type of culture shock. It felt like an allergic reaction to the outside world itself. Adjusting to it once you escaped would be hard.

“You’ve clearly become less fit since you started living with me,” Karl says in a matter-of-fact tone. You’d be insulted if you didn’t hear him say weird stuff about the other lords or the occasional brain-washed villager who brought up offerings. One had sewed you a wool and fox-fur dress and brought it up in September, in preparation for the winter. He’d thought it dumb at the time, but it protected you from the November chill better than anything you’ve ever worn.

Did they think you were a woman? Whether they were right or wrong, it didn’t change the fact that it was comfortable, warm, and made you feel better than the clothes you’d been wearing before in the factory or even before. You felt safe.

“Of course, I have, I’ve been sitting on my ass,” you retort.

“Still see that sass is intact.”

“It’s something that’ll never leave me.”

“You’d make a terrible house-spouse.”

“That’s the point,” you sigh hard, and you can see the cold air in front of your face, “I had a whole ass college degree before I came here and got my ass kidnapped.”

Karl whips around and looks at you, tilting his head down to peer at you from above his glasses. “You have a college degree?”

“Why are you surprised? Did you think I was that stupid?” Even if the question is sarcastic and witty, you felt a pang of hurt reverberate in your heart. Did he really think you were that stupid? Apparently so.

“I have two masters. One in aerospace engineering and one in mechanical engineering. Double majored in those fields for my bachelors at Oxford on a full-ride scholarship of robotic engineering.”

His mouth drops open. “And I didn’t know about this because?”

“It never came up.”

He pinches his nose, “you could have been helping me this whole time in the shop, and I let you sit on your ass and play care-taker.”

“More like forced me.” At this point, you’ve stopped walking, and you’d be able to see the manor of Benviento if it weren’t for the fog.

“Besides the point.” He looks stressed. His eyebrows are furrowed, a deep frown is on his face and his whole disposition makes him look genuinely conflicted and upset. “Let’s just go.” He gestures for you to follow him and stomps up the path.

You follow him, trying not to slip in the mud. Converse doesn’t have great traction, you realized. Maybe you should have worn hiking boots. “Listen, dirty Dr. Doofenschmirtz-“

“I don’t want to listen to your dumb nick-names right now.”

You stop again, and your fists ball up at your side around the fabric of the sleeves of his coat. Your coat. The coat you’re wearing.

“Why the hell are you so mad at me!” It’s not a question. It’s an exclamation of emotion. For some reason, it hurts. Even if you despised him, hated him with all your being, having someone love you unconditionally felt nice. He was toxic at best, sociopathic at worst, and yet he loved you so strongly it tore the both of you so part. To feel that admiration has gone missing, even if for a second, sent you reeling. You can’t explain why you softened towards him.

“I’m not.” He keeps walking before he realized you stopped. He turned around to look at you. “I’m not mad at you. I’m just…” He looks for the words. He’d never been good at expressing himself, you realized. Better through actions than words. But you didn’t want him to act on whatever he was feeling.

You wait in silence, eye-watering, trying not to cry.

He sees and rushes over to you. His left arm wraps around you and his right hand gently grabs your chin, his index finger underneath to lift your chin up to look at him. “Don’t cry, you know I hate it when you cry.”

You struggle to take a deep breath, choke on it, and the world feels so much more dangerous. A million malicious eyes gazing into your soul, whispers of panic fill your brain, and flashing thoughts of running right now, of hurting him or you flash through like lightning in a foggy storm. Every damn thing feels hazy and thick and you’re choking on the lump in your throat. “I don’t want to. I don’t want you to be mad at me, I don’t want-“

“Take a deep goddamn breath.” You feel his tobacco-scented breath on your face. You can see panic flash through his eyes for a moment. You hate the smell, and it suffocates you even more. “You need to breath.”

You swallow around the lump in your throat, and your breath shakes like a wasp nest about to fall from the highest branch. “Why are you mad at me?” This time you genuinely ask. You don’t want a reason, but rather a reassurance that he isn’t at all.

His lips form into a snarl that doesn’t come out before he presses them in a tight line. As he thinks. It makes you even more nervous. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at the fact that I had an opportunity that went to waste.”

You look up at him. “Okay.”

He wraps his other arm around you and places his chin on your forehead. “Let me know when you’ve calmed down.”

You rest your forehead on his shoulder and breathe.

In. Out.

In.          Out.

In. OUT.

In… out

In.

Out.

 In.

 … out.

“Do you feel any better?”

You wait a moment. “Yeah, I think so.” You ponder for a moment. “I think I had a lot of pent-up anxiety from everything.”

He stays quiet. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

He places a kiss on the crown of your head, his beard ruffling your hair. “Are you not going to forgive me?”

You take a deep breath. “I don’t know yet. It’s…” How do I phrase this? “I worked hard for this anger. This anger to love me, to know I didn’t deserve this, to be kidnapped, to have my head ready to be mounted on a stick.” You continue, “if I stop feeling angry, if I forgive you, I’m afraid I’m losing that. That’s why I tried to escape because I loved myself, I wanted better for myself.”

“Was I… Was I not providing enough for you?” His question strikes you like an arrow.

“I-“ You stumble on you’re thoughts for a moment. “It’s less of you not doing enough, but more of the rough foot we started on.” You sniffle. “When I gave up, I felt like I lost a part of myself, all that I worked for. That degree included. I felt all my efforts, all my struggles that I faced outside this goddamn village had gone to waste. That it wasn’t worth it. That I wasn’t worth it.”

You had promised yourself to keep him at arm’s length, to not give him clues to manipulate you. But you poured your heart out into his. You felt him shake and squeeze you tighter.

“Never. Ever. Feel like you aren’t worth it.” You feel something wet on your scalp. “You deserved better than each challenge that you faced, and each bit of hurt you felt along the way.” It’s his turn to choke on his words. He takes a shaky breath above you, and you can feel his heart pound faster. “You, darling, are worth everything.”

Something small inside you breaks. He’s just as human as you are, you realize. In this desperate attempt to escape, to fuel this hatred that’s worn you down, you’ve villainized a man that’s felt even more pain than you. A broken man, who thinks you’re the glue to put him back together. You shouldn’t feel any obligation to, but you do, because you’ve felt a fraction of the pain he’s felt, that he’s currently feeling, and it’s made your mind and bones ache far after the situation ended.

“And so are you, Karl.”

He unwraps his arms from around you. “Come one butter-cup, let’s go. Ugly-ass-psycho-doll is waiting for you. Says she wants you for a fitting and some tea party with her demented child, Angie.”

“Angie? Who’s she.”

“Well, you’re about to find out.”

[petite-ely]

Afraid // JJ Maybank

Six - Too much to risk

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem routledge! reader

Warnings: Mention gun, being shot at, swearing, slight mention of death, maybe some mistakes oopsie, tell me if I missed something

Description: A small improvised visits by Petekin leads to a hectic afternoon in the marsh.

A/n : Hellooo guys, gals and pals, this is quite a long part. I really wanted to finish the first episode. also I really don’t know how to had a little read mor thing I don’t know how. Sorry! hope you like it!

Previously next

Afraid masterlist

gif by @robinsbuckly

Song recommendation

It was now far later in the morning, meaning the sun had fully risen and it was a much more reasonable hour to be up at. JJ had left a while ago and John B was still peacefully sleeping (and loudly snoring). Y/n hadn’t been able to go to sleep after her talk with the blond boy and she was now sitting on the couch reading her book (actually reading this time). So, when she heard the front door open, she didn’t bother looking up, assuming it was one of her friends. Who else would just come in like that anyway?

"Hey, there’s coffee made in the kitchen if you want any,” she said, still not pulling her gaze of off her book.

“That’s kind of you to offer, but I’ve already had two cups this morning, I don’t think it would be reasonable for me to have more.” Y/n’s book fell to the ground.  

“Sheriff Peterkin, I’m so sorry. I-I thought you were someone else-” she got up from her seat, “-do you, do you need anything, water or uh-”

“You don’t have to bother sweetheart, I’m not planning on staying that long. I just want to talk for a bit,” answered the adult.

“Okay,” she took a pause to swallow. “I’ll go get John B.”

“If you don’t mind, I’ll go get him myself.” Y/n nodded, watching as she disappeared into the hallway leading to her brother’s room.  

She started pacing around the living room, ferociously biting the nails on her left hand. It wasn’t every day a cop showed up in your house. She had absolutely no idea why Peterkin would want to talk. Actually, she had about 25 different ideas, starting with the fact her uncle hadn’t been on the island for about 3 months. And the party last night, what if she knew about the gun? Would JJ be in trouble? Whatever it was, it wasn’t good, that she was certain of it.

>>

The conversation went on for much longer than expected. Basically, Peterkin knew about their uncle being awol and she offered to help get  dcs off of their back for a while if they helped her in return. She had also mentioned that it wouldn’t be good if they had seen a shipwreck, which of course they denied despite that being actually true. Y/n didn’t fully understand what Peterkin meant. But she knew that it meant there was something valuable in that boat. And Jonh B knew it too. Yet, he was afraid, which was understandable, considering everything. They were pretty much guaranteed to be put in foster care if they got caught. Not good at all.

“You know what? I'm calling it off,” announced John B.

Y/n raised her head from her sketchbook, dropping her pencil on the low table in front of her to listen to what her brother had to say. She had been drawing silently while the other pogues, all sitting in different ridiculous positions across the backyard, talked and did their own things. She was only half listening to what they were saying, sketching messily the outline of the château. It wasn't very good, but it was calming to do. When she heard the seriousness in her brother’s tone, she closed her sketchbook, otherwise she’d be too distracted.

“Peterkin told us that if we stayed out of the marsh, she’d help with dcs.” The girl grimaced remembering the woman’s words.  

“And you believed her?” “Yes, JJ I believed her.”

“You really think that she’d help us?” asked y/n. “It’s been more than 6 months, bird. If she really wanted to help, she would have helped earlier, no?”  

“Yeah, she’s a cop, an actual cop. And you think she’s telling the truth?” added JJ.

“Look,” John B glanced at y/n. “All we gotta do is stay out of the marsh for a couple days and she’ll help us.”

“I know, I was there.” Kiara snickered softly at her friend’s words. “But I don’t know, I feel like we’re getting tricked or something. What if she’s like trying to lure us out of there-” she gestured to the water behind them, “-because there’s something she doesn’t want us to see, uh? What if it’s about dad?”  

J.B rubbed the back of his neck before turning his body slightly to face the ocean. “Look,” he addressed his sister. “I get that you’re curious and you want to know what’s down there, but I'm only trying to do what’s best for us. And I think it would be better if we listened to Peterkin. I’m just trying to keep you safe, to protect you, bug.” His voice softened as he finished his sentence.

“And it didn’t help that JJ was shooting a gun last night!” Y/n raised her eyebrows at Pope, her face clearly showing intrigue. She wondered where this conversation would lead, a fight between the two boys most likely. Her gaze shifted to JJ who seemed annoyed at the Routledge boy’s words.

“You know what, I should’ve let Topper drown your ass.” John B laughed. “Topper was gonna drown me?” “Sure looked like it.”

“Boys can you plea-” Y/n tried to stop the small bickers, miserably failing as her brother interrupted her. “Funny.” A loud sigh escaped the girl’s lips and Kiara beside her pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Have you looked in a mirror?” “Tell me some more. Come on.” “They always win don’t they, man?”

“Kooks versus pogues. They always, always win!” You could hear the frustration dripping from his voice. Which was understandable. He had a point, kooks always won, it was time for a change.

“Goddamn!” “Look, it’s okay!” Kie tried to reassure him. “No, it’s not okay!”

“He’s right,” agreed y/n. “They always win, or find a way to avoid the consequences.”

“Exactly, they don’t want us to go down into the marsh, that means there's something valuable down there and you know it.” He said to John B. “I know you do.”

“And I understand why you wouldn’t want to go,” he pointed to Pope. “You’re the golden boy, you got way too much to risk. And you,” he turned to Kiara. “I mean you’re already rich as fuck anyway.” Okay, that was an exaggeration.

“Why would you bother.”

“But us, you, me and y/n, we’ve got nothing to lose!” His eyes glowed with something y/n hadn’t seen in him in a long time. Hope. It made her sad to think about how JJ really had nothing in his life besides the pogues. But if he was hopeful, then maybe, maybe...

“We really don’t.” “Yes, we do have something to lose.”

“If something goes wrong and dcs comes in, y/n and I would be brought to the mainland in foster care. That means placed with families who probably only care about the check that comes in every month and her and I getting separated from one another and from you guys.”

Y/n thought about what her brother had just said. He had a point, if things went wrong, they could lose everything. Each other mainly and the pogues. It was the worst-case scenario. But if they didn’t get caught, it would make their life so much better. Was it worth all the risk though? That was the question.

“Do you understand what that means? How horrible it would be?” The girl got up from her seat and went to stand next to her brother. “I do,” she said. “I understand, bird.”

“I know that you’re scared and so am I.  It’s a pretty big risk. If we get caught, we’re fucked, but listen to what JJ has to say. I think that it might be worth the risk. And if we do get caught-,” she put her hand on his shoulder and turned him around so that he faced her, “we’ll find a way to find each other again. We’re Routledges, we always find a way to solve our problems, don’t we?” Her hand squeezed his shoulder softly. “We’re gonna be alright, bird.”

A small smile drew itself on John B’s lips. “So, what’s the plan,” he said to JJ.

“You got the key to Cameron’s big boat, right?” “No,” J. B’s face scrunched in disagreement.

“There’s scuba gear. We borrow that and then we go down to the wreck this afternoon and that’s what’s gonna save you, man,” exclaimed JJ. “You don’t see rich kids going into foster care, do you?”

Y/n breathed out loudly. She was scared as hell. This was going to be pretty tricky, but she knew something was down there. And if it wasn’t money or something like that, then it was something related to her dad’s disappearance. She could feel it deep into her soul.

>>>

“This is empty, you took empty tanks,” announced Kiara to the group as she furrowed through the bag of oxygen tanks.

Y/n put her head in her hands. Their plan had seemed so perfect and now they didn’t have the one thing they needed for it to work.

“Okay this one’s a quarter full. It’s enough for one of us.” “Love it when a plan comes together.”

“Does anybody know how to dive?” asked the brunette but only to be answered by a chorus of shrugs and denying nods. “Anybody?”

“It’s kind of a kook sport,” JJ looked at her.

“I, … I read about it,” tried Pope.  

“Great, Pope read about it, now someone’s gonna die,” exclaimed Kie dramatically.

“Look.” JJ’s gaze circled the group of friends.  “You put the thing in your mouth and you breathe. How hard can it be?”  

“I don’t think it’s that simple,” confessed y/n.

“Yeah,” agreed Pope. “If you come up too fast, Nitrogen gets in your blood and you get the bends.”

The girl’s eyes widened. She remembered a book she had read a while ago where one of the characters had the decompression sickness (and how tragic their death was).  

“Bends like bend over?” JJ joked as he bent his body in a way to stick his butt up in the air. Typical JJ joke, weird and somehow always a bit sexual. Y/n slapped his arm as a way to tell him off.  

“JJ, the bends is deadly,” she had a stern expression, “it kills you.” “Oh, right.”

“I can- I can dive,” announced J.B. “Yeah, you can dive I’m cool with that.” “Since when can you dive?”  

“No, you can’t dive,” scoffed his sister. “I’ll do it, it’s fine.” “What? The hell?”

“Let’s do some calculations real quick.” Pope pulled out a pen and started writing some numbers. Y/n got up from her seat and went to stand beside him. “So, that boat’s about 30 feet down.” “okay.” “So, it’ll take about 25 minutes at most at that depth.” “Twenty-five.” “Which means you need to make your safety stop at about... 10 feet. Alright? For two minutes.” “Ten feet, two minutes got it.”

They all watched as Kiara jumped straight into the water, her shirt already removed. “Uh, what was that all about?” “I don’t know, but I liked it, a lot.” y/n nudged her brother on the shoulder to get him to stop staring. He cleared his throat.

“Uh, so.” “All righty.”

She sat down on the edge of the boat, waiting for her friend to resurface from underwater. “Yeah. Uh, when you- when you’re down there, you look for the cargo hold. You stick this thing inside and you twist and pull, okay,” explained JJ. “Stick it in, twist and pull.”

“You okay?” asked y/n, while the boys kept on rambling. “Needed a swim?” Kiara rolled her eyes, a small smile on her face.  

“Hey!” she called to guys, John b more specifically. “I tied my t-shirt to the anchor about ten feet down. It’s where you need to do your safety stop.”

The Routledge girl admired her friend in the water. Her body moving gracefully as she swam back towards the boat. She seemed so, at ease. It used to be that way for her too, but now, even looking into the darkest part of the water gave her a feeling of vertigo. She wondered if she could still swim as good as she used to. It had been almost a year since the last time she had dove right into the marsh. It felt so far away. If only she was braver.

She hadn’t realised she had completely zoned out until she heard JJ speak. “Zen. Think Zen, you know.” She joined the group on the other side of the hms, her brother already suited for his dive.

“Hey, if we get caught out here in the marsh we’re basically screwed, so,” reminded Pope, “better get a move on.” “Copy that.”

Kiara got up and planted a small kiss on J. B’s cheek. Y/n looked at the two boys next to her with a confused expression. They both shrugged in answer, clearly just as confused as she was. “Diver down?” “Diver down.” She watched as his figure disappeared slowly into the water.

“All right.” “See ya, dude.”

She went to sit next to Kie. “I only love him as a brother,” she mocked her friend. “Yeah right, my ass.”  

“It’s just a small kiss y/n/n, it doesn’t mean anything. I still mean what I said yesterday. It’s just that,” she took a pause, her eyes squinting at the sun, “I’m just worried for him, you know he’s going through a lot and then there’s the shipwreck and all.”

“Uh huh, I totally get what you mean,” ironized y/n. “Shut up,” Kie nudged her with her elbow. “No, but seriously-” started the girl before being interrupted by the sound of a police siren behind her.

“Shit, guys.” “Guys, that’s the police.”

“Oh no, no, no, no, no, that is not good. Not good at all.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” “Yep that’s the police.” “Just act fricking normal.”

Anxiety bubbled at the pit of y/n’s stomach. Hopefully he wouldn’t recognize her, otherwise she was dead. So dead. She sat down beside Kiara in a somewhat natural position, her legs crossed to keep them from bouncing.

The police boat parked itself beside the hms. Officer Shoupe behind the wheel. “Evenin’ officers,” greeted Pope. “Evening.”

“How you kids doin’ ,” asked Shoupe. “You know the marsh is closed.”

“No.” “No.” “No, wow.” “I didn’t know that.” They all feigned ignorance, hoping to fool the two adults. “Why- why is it closed?” questioned Pope, adjusting his cap nervously.

“Well, we’re conducting a search out here,” informed the man. “Boat went down.” “Oh.” “Oh, no.”

“Seen’ anything?” asked the deputy.

“No.” “No, boats. No.” Y/n’s fingers tapped rhythmically on the boat, trying to keep herself from looking at her brother in the water.

“Where’s your friend you always hang with?” The pace of the rhythm fastened. “He here?” She opened her mouth, trying to think of a good excuse for the missing presence of her brother, but nothing came out.

“He’s working,” lied Kie. All of their heads nodded softly.

“I’m gonna check your little boat out,” announced Shoupe before hopping on the hms. “Yeah.” “Yeah, hop aboard.” The rhythm stopped, y/n’s nails digging into her palms.

He picked up a safety jacket. “You got another one of these?” “Yeah, yeah.”

“Of course, it’s uh, it’s in the hold,” JJ pointed to where the girls were seated. They both got up quickly. “Show him,” instructed Kie. Y/n’s joints were turning white.

“Okay.” JJ opened the hold and pulled out one of the jackets. “Yeah, here we go.” “All right.” The latch closed loudly. Shoupe’s gaze inspected the teens suspiciously. The tension could be cut with a knife.

He climbed on the flat part of the boat. “Be careful.” “Be careful out there, you don’t want to slip.”

He put his sunglasses on, staring at the exact place where John B and the ship were. The pogues exchanged worried glances. Hopefully, he wouldn’t see anything. He stood on the very edge of the boat, his figure towering over the water of the marsh.

“All right,” he finally turned around. Y/n breathed again. “All right.” “All right.”

“Beautiful day, innit?” “Sure is.”

“You let us know if you see anything on your way out,” he ordered as he started the engine. “Will do, will do.”

“We’ll be gone soon, sir.” “Yes, you will,” finally said the man before he vogued away.

Once he was far enough, the group hurried to the side of the boat, all worried about their friend. He’d been under for quite a long time now, there was no way he had any air left.

“He’s definitely out of air,” declared Pope.

At that exact moment, John B surged out of the water. Y/n felt relief take over her body. She felt her whole body unclench and let go of the grip her nails had in her hand.

“There he is!” Exclaimed JJ. “Oh god, Jesus Christ.”

“God damn it, Bird. I’m so glad you’re okay,” spoke y/n.

“Don’t scare us like that!” All of the pogues exclaimed, all so happy that their friend was all right.

“How’d it go down there?” wondered JJ. “Uh,” John b groaned and his sister hurried to the side of the boat to help him get in.

“Did you find anything?”

“Did I find anything?” He repeated throwing a large duffel bag onto the boat.

“Yeah there we go, that’s my boy!” JJ exclaimed excitedly.

“Are you okay?” Y/n asked as he coughed rather loudly. “Yeah, I’m good, but I ran out of air.” Her eyebrows scrunched together on her forehead. God, they were so lucky, what if J.B had ran out of air earlier? Or what if Shoupe had figured out what they were doing? Things could have gotten so bad.

But they didn’t, the girl reminded herself.

“You scared the shit out of me,” confessed Kiara, though it sounded more like a reproach.

“Yeah, same for me,” replied y/n. “Need a hand?” she stuck her hand out at him which he gladly took. The contact of the water with the cuts her nails had made in her hands burned, but she clenched her jaw and ignored the pain. She didn’t want to bother anyone.

“Yeah, the cops were up here but uh, took care of ‘em,” informed Pope.

“My bad.” “You’re all good.” “Yeah, you kinda missed the show, brother.”

“Hey guys?” Kiara’s voice was tinted with worry. “Guys, bogey, two o-clock.”

“What?” They all turned in the direction she was referring to. In the distance they noticed a strange looking boat heading towards them.

“Do you recognize that boat?”

“I’ve never seen it.” Kie put her hand above her eyes to hide herself from the sun. “What are they doing back here? The marsh is closed.”

“Honestly, they could ask us the same thing,” pointed y/n.

“Well, I think it would be better if we didn’t stick around and find out,” said JJ.

“JJ, get the bowline.” “Yeah.”

“Should we wait on ‘em?” asked Pope.

“Uh, I don’t think that would be a great idea,” responded y/n. The boat was coming in very fast and the people driving it looked angry and dangerous. It was much safer to just leave. “Go get the stern, go!” Hurried John B.

The blonde pulled the rope as fast as he possibly could. “Guys, don’t wait for me. Go,” he said. Y/n inspected the unknown boat in the distance, nothing about it seemed familiar. Who could these people be? And what did they want from them? “Let’s go.”

She kept her eyes glued to it as the motor started. “I have a really bad feeling about this,” she confessed, turning her head to John B. behind the wheel. “Yeah, I don’t like this either,” agreed Pope.

“Are they coming for us?” asked JJ. “Sure looks like it.”  

“Maybe they’re fishing?” proposed Pope. Y/n’s gaze paused on the two men. They were intimidating, to say the least. And their eyes, both had looks filled with something threatening. It wasn’t anger or hatred, no, it was the eyes of people who would do anything to get what they wanted and that was scary.

“Go, go, go, go!” “Go into the marsh.” “Let’s go!”

“I’m going. Act natural,” stated John B as he directed the hms towards the nearest channel.  

The white boat sped up, the motor roaring loudly. “Hey guys, they’re following us,” announced y/n. “Oh, this can’t be good.” “Shit”

“Dude, you gotta go faster!” “I’m going!” “Gun it!”

The sound of a gun shooting in the air echoed in the silence of the marsh. The pogues all went down instinctively. “Holy shit, guys!” “Oh my fucking god, what the fuck!”

JJ grabbed the back of y/n’s shirt with his hand, bringing her closer to him. “John b get down!” almost hissed the girl. Another shot fired, y/n clung onto JJ.

“Oh my god, we’re gonna die!” yelled Pope. A third shot fired. Y/n’s eyes caught the net at the back of the boat and an idea sparked in her head. She looked at Kiara, who clearly had thought of the same thing.

“Pope, move,” ordered the brunette as her friend stood to go grab the green net. Another shot flew into the air beside her, the bullet barely missing her.  

“Get down, y/n!” shouted her brother desperately. She headed towards the back of the boat and threw the net into the water. It slid down the current and got caught right into the motor of the men’s boat, making the engine come to a halt abruptly. It clanged loudly and the two men shouted in anger. A sigh of relief left the girl’s lips. Her plan had worked.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” hurried Pope. A last gunshot was heard but the hms was too far away to be reached.

“Oh my god!” “Whew!” The pogues all cheered and laughed at their small victory. They were all so glad to be away from these men and all in one piece. Kiara pulled y/n into a hug.

“Y/n, don’t you ever do something like that again. You fucking scared the crap out of me,” said John B as they approached the dock of the château. “I can’t promise anything. Who knows when someone else will shoot at us?”

They all hurried themselves onto the dock, excited to know the content of the bag. “What do you guys think it is?” “Maybe it’s like jewelry? Would be a weird place to keep it but who knows?” “Gotta be money, right?”  

“That or a couple of keys with street value to the low- to mid-mils!” JJ’s eyes glistened with excitement. Y/n smiled softly.

“Can we please just open the bag?” burst Pope. The group all started at him.

“Wow Pope,” y/n giggled. “That was a rare outburst of emotions.”

“You guys are literally killing me with anticipation. Open the bag. We almost died over this.”

John B. pulled out a smaller bag which contained a metal canister. Every pair of eyes was fixed onto it as he pried it open and revealed a compass. Y/n kneeled next to her brother not believing what she was seeing. They exchanged a look, neither of them saying anything. They both knew what that object was and what it meant to their father, but what the hell was it doing there?

“Oh, wow. Yup, that’s about right.” Pope was clearly disappointed by their findings. “Good job, everybody. We found a compass.” Y/n raised a trembling hand to the compass, carefully taking it into her own hands to examine it. Was this really what she thought it was? How could it be? It didn’t make any sense.

JJ removed his hat in frustration. “Dude, what? It’s not worth anything.”

A small smile creeped on Jonh b’s face, his eyes still not looking away from the compass. “This was,” he started.

“This was our father’s,” completed y/n.

Taglist:

 @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @poguestyle17 @im-a-stranger-thing @lasnaro @thoughtsofthestars @briandaflores19 @lunaposey @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @kitty084 @coloradogirl07 @ponyboys-sunsets @chaoticbisous @p0gue420 @sloaneemily @babygal-babygal

Tell me if you wanna be added or removed!

[doppel-drop-distance]

Doppel Spotlight: Giovanna

Surprise~!

I know, I know, about time, right? The hypothetical Soul Gem has broken, and the Doppel Spotlights are back from the dead! Er…temporarily, anyway. I can’t say for certain how many more of these I’m up to doing just yet. It’s a bit too early for me to make any big estimates or guarantees. But! This Doppel analysis has sat here unfinished for quite some time now! And you all have shown such lovely support that I couldn’t help but be excited looking at all this old material again. So as a gift to you all, let’s finally analyze the Doppel of our main protagonist, Iroha Tamaki!

This analysis will contain spoilers for all of Magia Record’s first arc! This does include anime-specific content, as I will be discussing certain scenes from Episodes 5 and 7! You have been warned!

Let’s dive in, shall we?

GIOVANNA

Doppel of Silence

Feature: Cuckoo

“The master of this emotion is aware of how pitiful her Doppel is and refuses to look at it. This Doppel wordlessly wraps around and strangles anything it doesn't want to hear as it continues its search for something to fill the hole in its heart. While it should be calling for someone, it is cowardly and afraid of acknowledging the reality it has concealed, and so it remains, silently covering its ears.”

It's been a while, so how about we start things off with a little refresher?

Both Giovanna and Campanella’s names are direct references to Night on the Galactic Railroad, a Japanese novel written by Kenji Miyazawa. In the story, a shy boy named Giovanni travels on a star-bound train with his close friend, Campanella. To keep things brief, I’ll leave most of the general plot details out. However, if you’d like a lengthier summary, I suggest reading the summary I provided in the previous Doppel Spotlight, which is linked here.

I should also mention I actually located an English-translated copy of Night on the Galactic Railroad! As a result, I can quote the story directly, although I cannot guarantee the accuracy of the translations or my own interpretations. Please keep that in mind as you read!

The opening scene of the novel establishes early on that Giovanni is a reserved, self-conscious boy. In class, he is certain he knows the answer to the teacher’s question. However, when called on, he doubts himself and stays silent, bringing upon the jeers of his classmates. Campanella, who also raised his hand for the question, willingly chooses not to answer, despite also knowing, in order to show some sympathy for the flustered Giovanni.

This opening scene is likely what is referenced in Giovanna’s nature as the Doppel of silence. Giovanni stays silent out of self-doubt, and as a result believes himself to be pathetic. Iroha also silences herself in her own way, being very passive, self-conscious, and reserved at the beginning of her story. And, true to that comparison, her Doppel’s reflections of insecurity make her feel pitiful, to the point where she refuses to look at it.

Giovanni’s character can also be representative of Iroha’s inner loneliness. With his mother sickly and his father out of the house, Giovanni is too occupied with taking jobs and caring for his family to have time to talk. More often, he is bullied by his peers. The only exception is with Campanella, who doesn’t bully him, and even sympathizes with him. As Giovanni and Campanella travel on the Galactic Railroad, Giovanni’s loneliness is at its clearest. Campanella begins talking to Kaoru, another passenger on the train, and Giovanni becomes morose with jealousy. See this quote here:

“Is there really nobody who will stick with me to the edges of the universe and beyond? Campanella just sits there jabbering away with that little girl, and it hurts me more than anybody knows.”

Iroha is also incredibly lonely, deep down. She lives on her own, with parents away on business trips. The anime implies she doesn’t have a lot of friends either, with her classmates talking behind her back instead. Worst of all, her sister, who she values more than anyone else, is completely absent, Iroha being the only one that remembers that she exists. Such relationships sound awfully lonely, don’t they? It’s only through her bond with Yachiyo and the rest of Mikazuki Villa that Iroha grows into her own, letting her optimism, warmth, and confidence shine through.

Giovanna’s connections to Giovanni tie her quite close to Campanella, Yachiyo’s Doppel. And, well, Yachiyo is certainly not the kind and sympathetic Campanella at first meet. Her first encounter with Iroha is cold, brutally honest, and fully intent on keeping Iroha out at any cost. We learn later on that this attitude is a wall Yachiyo puts up to protect people – that she believes the people that get close to her die, and that she still struggles with the guilt of her past. Yet, it is Iroha who shows sympathy to Yachiyo, breaking down that wall between them. For example, let’s take a look at Chapter Six. After a trip to the Memory Museum Uwasa, Yachiyo has been reminded of the death in her life and is reflexively closing herself off again to keep Iroha safe. Iroha once shriveled up in response to Yachiyo’s intimidating rejection, but now, as her friend, she isn’t having it. She says this:

“You saying there’s nothing you can do to help Tsuruno and the others… It makes me feel sad…Lonely…We fought together all this time…But more than that, I’m angry. I’m angry with you, Yachiyo...”

“I’m your friend, Yachiyo. And as your friend, I’m going to take out that Uwasa, all on my own! I’m going to be the one to protect you. I’ll smash this made-up idea you have of me sacrificing myself for you!”

Just as Giovanni interprets his journey with Campanella as a sign to stay diligent in life, Iroha’s friendship with Yachiyo allows her to steady her own resolve and fight adamantly. Their namesake connection is a sign of their bond, and their newfound devotion to fight together and protect each other.

To wrap up this Galactic Railroad talk, have you noticed that in many of the anime’s early episodes, Iroha is riding on a train? In fact, it is on a train that Iroha is whisked away to Zenobia’s Barrier in Kamihama, where she meets Yachiyo for the first time. Perhaps a stretch, but a fun little detail regardless.

Anyway, there’s far more to Giovanna than story connections! Giovanna’s silent nature reflects a lot of Iroha’s character struggles: mainly, her feelings of denial, and her inclination towards self-sacrifice.

“This Doppel wordlessly wraps around and strangles anything it doesn't want to hear as it continues its search for something to fill the hole in its heart. While it should be calling for someone, it is cowardly and afraid of acknowledging the reality it has concealed, and so it remains, silently covering its ears.”

When you think of someone “strangling anything it doesn’t want to hear”, concealing their own reality and being afraid of acknowledging it...well, that sounds a lot like someone who doesn’t want to accept the truth.

Iroha shows quite a bit of denial in her search for Ui. The odds are stacked against her for a lot of Arc 1. She finds little to no clues wherever she searches, and the Ui she encounters from the Uwasa of the Commoner’s Horse is only a fake. Iroha is certain that Touka and Nemu, Ui’s closest friends, will remember Ui. But, they do not, and only ridicule Iroha for her seemingly impossible set of memories. Throughout Chapter Ten she is belittled for sticking to her goals. She’s ensured on all fronts that Touka and Nemu aren’t believing her, and that there’s nothing she can do to change their minds. But, no matter how many times Iroha is told by the world that she’s believing in a lie, she never lets her belief go.

“I’m still going. No matter what you say. I’m bringing Ui back with me…She’s the whole reason I came back to Kamihama.”

This stubborn determination, when twisted by the corrupt perception of a Witch, is far more like paranoid desire: an aching, fearful need to find whatever is missing in her heart and get rid of whatever threatens it.

Following this, let’s talk about Giovanna’s feature: a cuckoo. Cuckoos are solitary birds, shy and secretive, and best known for their calls. Yet, Giovanna’s beak is tied up with cloth. She cannot call for anyone. Her journey to find Ui is painted as one of futility: Giovanna searches and searches for the one she’s longed for, but in the end, is too afraid to call out to her.

Here’s a fun detail, by the way:

In Episode 5, when Iroha summons her Doppel for the first time, Giovanna actually does not have bandages around her beak (which is why she’s able to let out that high-pitched shriek):

In future appearances, however, Giovanna does have the bandages around her beak.

Come to think of it, Giovanna looks rather... different in her first appearance, doesn’t she? Not only is her beak not bandaged, but her colors are a lot redder and more decayed, her cloak is worn and full of holes, and the crown around her head is gone. This may just be a stylistic choice for Iroha’s first Doppel, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s a sign for something else. Maybe that Giovanna is angry with the Commoner’s Horse Uwasa for projecting an illusion of Ui? Giovanna does fight a lot more aggressively here than in any other appearance, after all - she wraps the Uwasa up and drills into it with her beak. Meanwhile, in her second appearance, she only attacks an Uwasa with her bandages.

Giovanna’s unwillingness to call for others actually brings up an interesting facet of Iroha’s character: her sacrificial devotion. The reason that Iroha unleashes her Doppel in Episode 5 is because she neglects her own needs in favor of others. She believes that she must be strong on her own to find Ui, a thought reflected by her own Doppel’s words in Episode 7:

“Stronger…If you don’t become strong, you won’t be able to find anything! Cover your ears! Shut those eyes! Silence determines fate!”

When Iroha fails to find Ui within the Uwasa of the Commoner’s Horse, she is filled with despair. Ui was right before her eyes, proving the beliefs that even she may have begun to doubt. Yet, in that same instant she recognizes the Ui she sees is nothing but an illusion the Uwasa projected for her. So close, and yet so far. When Iroha begins to succumb to her despair, she even mentions that it might’ve been from the shock of not seeing Ui.

With all of these feelings, all of this disappointment and despair, who does Iroha use her only Grief Seed on? Yachiyo, of course. At this point in the story, Iroha wants to be friends with Yachiyo, but they are not seen as equals. She is not comfortable enough to open up to Yachiyo about her feelings, and neither is Yachiyo with her own. Yet, Iroha still sacrifices herself to keep Yachiyo from falling to despair. And by staying silent about her own woes, Iroha falls to her despair for the first time, summoning her Doppel.

Let’s keep this topic in mind and focus on something I haven’t addressed before: the Magia Archive artbook! There are some production notes in here that provide insights on the meaning and symbolism behind a Doppel. Unfortunately, I don’t know Japanese, but I did find a translation of Giovanna’s section, courtesy of @greenyvertekins. Here is a small piece from it that I would like to highlight:

“The motif is a bird flute and a saint with a rabbit-like appearance.”

The theme of a “saint” struck me as a little odd, at first. I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to get that idea from her design. But, it did lead me to a unique little find, which is probably a stretch, but maybe kind of cool anyway?

(credit to Silvermoon424 on Reddit for the scan!)

It’s a bit harder to see in the official art, but that crown circling Giovanna’s head – to me, it sort of looks like a crown of thorns. A crown of thorns is a very striking sign of self-sacrifice.

And sure, this is the stretchiest stretch that ever stretched, but those drop-like patterns on Giovanna’s body are red, and kind of look like drops of blood, right? Beads of blood that have also been associated with the crown of thorns, r-right? Right…?

Phew…I’ve been going on for a while, haven’t I? Is this…is this longer than the first one? I don’t even know anymore…Let’s silently wrap this up with one more, fun little stretch on my part.

Both cuckoos and bunnies, which are elements of Giovanna’s design, are symbolically representative of spring. Spring is cherry blossom season in Japan, and the Eternal Sakura Uwasa lives near a cherry blossom tree only said to bloom when Touka, Nemu, Ui and Iroha are united again. At the end of the event Cherry Blossom Dreams, the Eternal Sakura even remarks that “spring can finally begin” because they are all together. So, if you squint really hard, maaaaybe the springtime connections here are representative of Iroha, Touka, Nemu, and Ui’s union under the cherry blossom tree. But probably not. I’m just having some fun.

And, that’s it! That’s all I’ve got for Giovanna! Wow! That sure was something!

I hope you all enjoyed my silly little analysis! I know some of these connections are a bit loose, but I like drawing whatever parallels I can with what understanding I have, haha. It was great to write one of these again and share it with you all!

If you have any of your own thoughts, additions, or corrections, do send them along! I would love to hear other interpretations!

[headinthestaticsky]

The Dusk Calls for Me, Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan: Chapter 9

AUTHORS NOTES: None of the characters in Twilight belong to me. All rights go to Stephenie Meyer.

“I go over every word you said to me Every single syllable I could repeat Certified to scuba dive in my memory”

Sawzall by: BANKS

“I can feel your heart beating out of your chest love.” Jasper said.

I couldn’t say anything, I just burrowed my in his neck and held him.

“I should go back there and rips those guy’s heads off.”

“N-no you shouldn’t.”

“You couldn’t hear what those, low lives were thinking.” 

“And you do?”

“Dammit Edward... you need to learn to keep your mouth shut.” I thought to myself.

“Well, it’s not hard to guess. Could you talk about something else? Distract me so I don’t turn back around.”

“Y-you should put your seat belt on.”

Edward laughed 

“You should put your seat beat on.”

I pulled my sweater tighter to me and took in a deep breath.

“Thank you.” I said

Jasper kissed my cheek and rubbed circles in on my side. We pulled up to the restaurant. I saw Jessica and Angela leaving, they both looked confused and worried.

“Where were you guys?” Jessica asked

“We called you like a 100 times but we never got an answer.” Angela said.

Before Bella and I could explain our selves, Edward and Jasper came up to them.

“Sorry to keep the girls from dinner, we all ran into each other and started talking.” Jasper said.

“Oh, that’s fine. Angela said.

“Yeah, it totally happens.” Jessica added.

“I think I should make sure Bella gets something to eat.” Edward said.

“Geez what am I chopped liver you jerk?” I thought to myself.

“Yeah, Fleur should probably get something too...” Jasper said and gave Edward a glare.

“Yeah, let’s go in and eat... I’ll see you guys on Monday.” I said.

“Yeah, see you Monday.” Jessica said.

We made our way inside the restaurant the atmosphere was warm and inviting. We made our way to a table in the back of the restaurant, the waitress was being quite flirty with Edward. The on Bella’s face made me want to laugh, the jealousy was seeping from it. Jasper sat next to me and draped his arm over my shoulder . It’s weight was comforting against me, he was using his Pathokinesis on me. I wasn’t complaining, the racing of my heart was beginning to drive me crazy.  The flirty waitress had come back with, our food coming along with her.

“Alright we have 1 mushroom ravioli, 1 chicken Alfredo, and 4 glasses of coke. Are you sure, I can’t get you two anything?” She asked.

“No.” Jasper said.

“No thank you.” Edward replied, his eyes not leaving Bella’s.

“Just let me know.” She said before leaving.

“You’re really not going to eat?” Bella asked.

“No, we’re on a special diet.”

“Alright enough with the games, you gotta give me some answers here.”

“Hmm, yes, no, maybe.” Jasper started.

“To get to the other side, 1.772...” Edward continued.

“I don’t want to know what the square root of Pi is.” Bella interrupted. 

 “You knew that?” Edward inquired.

“How did you and Jasper know where we were?”

“I didn’t.”

“Alright, let’s go Fleur. I’m sick of being lied to.”

“Wait... don’t go.”

Edward pulled Bella back down to her seat.

“I mean, did you follow us?”

“I feel very... protective of you. Jasper, of course is always protective over Fleur.”

“Sooo, you did follow us?”

“I was trying to keep a distance, but I knew you two needed my help. I then heard what those low lives were thinking and I just..”

“Wait, wait... you said you could hear what they’re thinking?” Bella interrupted again.

“You’re burying yourself here Edward.” I though to myself, his eyes glared at me for a second... I almost forgot he could read minds.

“I can read every mind in this... except for yours.” 

“Is something wrong with me?”

“Bella, I just said I could read minds, and you ask what is wrong with you?” Edward asked in shock.

“Well, what are people thinking then?”

“That guys right there with the goatee, Money.” He then started pointing out the other people in room.

“Sex, money, sex, cat but with you, I hear nothing.”

“I’m going to confess Bella, I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore.”

“Then don’t, you don’t have to anymore.” She said.

 After dinner, we were off on the road again only this time, the ride wasn’t as intense. I was dosing off in the back, my head on Jasper’s shoulder I was almost asleep when I heard Bella speak.

“Okay, I think I’m warm enough now.”

I heard Bella gasp before speaking again.

“Your hand is Ice cold.”

Edward didn’t say anything in return.

“Whoa what is going on? Dad’s still here Fleur.”

I opened my eyes in confusion, I saw we were at the police station.

“Our dad’s car is here as well.” Jasper said.

“What’s he doing here?”

“Could you pull in Edward?” I asked.

He obliged my request.

“Carlisle what’s going on?”

He sighed

“Waylon Forge was found in a boat near his place. I just examined his body”

My eyes widened

“He died?”

Carlisle just nodded.

“Maybe it was the same thing that killed that guard out in Mason.”

“You two should go in and see your father. Waylon was his friend.”

“You go ahead Bella, I need to talk to Jasper real quick.”

“Okay. I’ll see you around Edward, Jasper.” Bella said before going in the building.

I pulled Jasper away from Edward and Carlisle, wanting to talk to him in private.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Please don’t be mad at me, they’re somethings I haven’t told you about. Could you come by later on tonight. I’ll explain everything to you.” I said.

“Of course, I love you darlin, stay safe.” He said, he kissed my cheek and the hugged me.

“I will... love you too.”

I saw him leave with Edward and Carlisle, I just hoped he wasn’t hurt by the fact I was keeping things from him. I jogged to the police station door, my dad looked up at me with sad eyes.

“I’m so sorry dad.” I said, I gave him a short hug and then rubbed his back.

“Thanks Petal, Bella, Fleur could you do something for me?” He asked.

“Sure, what is it?” I said.

“I want you two to carry this.” He handed Bella and I a can of pepper spray. 

“This would’ve come in handy earlier.” I thought.

“Dad...” Bella said apprehensively.

“It’ll give your old man some peace of mind.”

Bella and I each took a can, putting it in our purses.

“Come you two, let’s go home.”

As soon as I got home I got ready for bed. I kissed by dad on the cheek and bid both Bella and him a goodnight. I the ran up to my room, my heart was pounding again. When I opened the door, Jasper was already there. He had a look of curiosity and concern on his face. 

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“...Where do I start?”

[pluviophile-bookworm]

HSMTMTS 2x11: Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents... the reason for my next mental breakdown

I can't believe myself, honestly. Oversleeping on the one day of the week that I've got something exciting to wake up for? Oh well, I'm up now and I'd better go ahead and do this before my dashboard has showered me with spoilers. I mean, I have never really minded spoilers, but when it comes to this, somehow I do. Though I do wish something had forewarned me about last week's snap ending (get it, 'snap'... I'll see myself out). I'd better dive in already.

Yes, Mr Mazzara, that's what I've been saying for a while! Ok, maybe I haven't been very vocal about it, but it was in the foreground of my mind that they should have asked for Mr Mazzara's help re: transformation! I'm just glad he pointed it out. Not that he could have done much while he was busy playing therapist for his beloved Miss Jenn. Oh well.

Were those Ash and Ricky doing actual paired-up warmups? That is what they should have been doing for weeks now. That and having actual off-stage interactions, too. But I still subscribe to the theory that the gang had some good rehearsals off-screen — otherwise there's no way they could have been this good on stage as we saw in the previews. I said it last time and I'll say it again — not everything is for us to see.

Wow. The one time our leads are in unison, and it is about both being injured. The East High drama club must be cursed — they can't have one production run smoothly and without what can only be described as pure unbridled chaos.

They don't have any understudies? That explains some things... but also how? But also, I'm so happy Ashlyn is going on. No way she would have missed her first (first of many, right?) chance of being the lead because of some 'minor' injury.

Ricky and Nini still can't talk to each other properly. Oh well. Take your time. It's not like I care about this pairing anymore.

Did EJ just use the word 'dig'? Boy, the boy's got it baaaaaad. Also, what is it going to take for these two to realise they're in love? For all we know, they might have that big kiss we're all dreaming of and still be like 'nah, it's nothing, we're buddies'... give me a break! But I mean, at this point they might just be turning into Redlyn 2.0, where even a kiss doesn't define things. But hey, if they do follow in Redlyn's footsteps, that only means good things in their future, right?

What did that fake French git do to my boy Carlos? He's not supposed to look this inanimate until right before the climax of the play! Well, I mean, at least Seb serving as his interpreter means that Seb gets more lines for a bit. Too bad he can't go on for someone with more lines in the play.

Miss Jenn's 'words of inspiration' were less than inspired... yeah, this show's going down. Or it would, if it depended solely on her. Let's hope the kids do better. I mean, I know for a fact they will... at least for about 5 minutes of the thing. There is still room for things to go wrong and I'm scared.

Oh, my sweet boy... I wish I could jump in there and do something to help him feel less nervous. Thing is, if I were there, I'd probably be the most nervous of them all, even if I were playing Townsfolk #3 or something, and everyone's nervousness would rub off on me, and I would be making things worse instead of helping. So yeah, I'm kind of glad I'm not there.

Ahhhh who called it? @redlyncentral was it you? Ash got flowers for her Biggie! And there's a card whose contents we've yet to see. But that doesn't seem to be helping either. My sweet, sweet Reddy... I hope and pray he'll be alright.

Well this is awkward! Who told Mike to show up and shake everything up right now? Miss Jenn is literally on the brink of exploding, and now she's stuck in this completely unnecessary love triangle. She needs some space. And a quiet place to breathe, thanks Mr M for suggesting it.

'Did we forget to build a mote around the school or...' Yeah, you tell her, Rick! That girl whose name I never want to pronounce (because it makes me think of much nicer people and she's making me hate it) has no business being there. She's not... being given a redemption arc, is she now? Some people just don't deserve it. And if hating her is an unpopular opinion now, well, I never did care much about having popular opinions. I can live with that.

'Lily, scram!' Yes, thank you, Natalie! I've always wanted someone who would voice my thoughts in a way that the characters can hear them. Make this girl a main next season, won't you? (Just so we're crystal clear, I mean Natalie, not the other one.)

OMG Mr M is in the play! In a way... I love that!

I love, love, love the way they did the prologue. 'Repulsed [the prince makes an over-the-top gesture of repulsion] by her haggard appearance [the witch shows off her face to the audience]...' I love this. I would pay a lot for a chance to see their entire play, you know?

Oh dear, somebody give my boy Reddy some sort of... medical aid against all the throwing up! I've got a nice pill that helps me with my bad cases of motion sickness. Hey, so maybe I could have helped if I were there after all. Great, now I feel bad. But also, is all the throwing up an excuse on the writers' part to keep my boy off-screen for the majority of this episode? Because it's a really lame excuse.

Gina's 'Many questions' continues to be a mood. What exactly is Miss Jenn expecting from the kids? Last-minute adjustments? No way. This spells disaster.

Was Carlos on vocal rest or something? Because he shines like the star he is... despite all the very obvious nervousness backstage. I mean, I wouldn't have it any other way, but... oh well, I wouldn't say it's unrealistic. In my personal performing experience, the most nervous ones perform the best. (So... what is that saying for my boy Reddy? Good things only.)

I've already had the opportunity to geek out about Be Our Guest yesterday, but... I mean, just look at them! Carlos doesn't need actual candles to be on fire, Ashlyn is stealing the scene without any lines in it, Gina is absolutely gorgeous, and don't even get me started on EJ and Big Red looking at their girls in absolute awe! This is everything!

Aww, look at them! Gina and Ashlyn dancing together, I mean. They're sisters and it really shows. And I love them both so much.

Kourtney is an absolute show-stealer! I'm still upset about some casting choices (one of them is in this scene, doing his absolute best with the crumbs he has been given), but she is absolutely perfect. I think I'll rewind and watch this entire scene again before moving on with the rest of the episode.

I'd just like to point out that Frankie's voice in his lower register is everything!

'You absolutely dusted that stage'... Not EJ making a pun so punny even I could not have thought of it... boy is absolutely smitten!

Not me tearing up when Jordan Fisher appeared as Gina's brother... like, I knew it was happening — I knew it even before it was announced. And I still teared up because, well, it's emotional in-universe and out.

Awww, my boy Reddy is so in love with Ashlyn... I mean, who wouldn't be... but — not Ricky saying Lily might not be as mean as they thought. Especially not to Big Red of all people. To him, she was just as mean as they thought.

'Side hustle project in the south hallway'? Ooh, what is it, I want to know now!

Why do I feel like things are a bit too awkward between Kourtney and Howie? Not that I'm too invested in their relationship, but if it bothered me, imagine how it must feel for the stans.

No, Ash, you absolutely do not need to add any fancy riffs to the song! Especially not just because L... well, that girl did it. You're unique and lovely and a literal Disney princess inside and out. That girl? She's just a wolf in a sparkling golden dress.

Awww... Big Red literally lowers Ash's blood pressure! Those two are such an amazing couple! (Full disclosure, though, he kind of does the same for me too; the other night I had this horrible nightmare, and I woke up in cold sweat in the middle of the night, and then... ok, getting too personal there.) The point is, if even the fantasy of a Big Red hug makes me feel better, imagine what his actual presence would do for Ash at that moment. Where is my boy? Everyone seems to be looking for him.

Oh... guess they took my advice to give the poor boy something for his vomiting issue. Good for whoever thought of it.

And we're back to the Porter siblings... forgive me if I still can't wrap my head around calling Gina's brother Jamie. I don't know about you guys, but thanks to my lovely new friend Paz he will always be Theodore to me. I guess we can headcanon that as his middle name. Anyway, I love it that they made a joke about the hilarious height difference between him and Gina because, well, it's the only thing I can think about when I look at the two of them. It reminds me of me and my little cousin who has been taller than me since she was 10, and is still growing taller now at 13. But, I mean, it's not very hard to be taller than me, since I'm so, so short... ok, this is not about me. Moving on.

Was I the only one who actually laughed out loud at Ricky drinking from the bowl as the Beast? I mean, that part has always made me laugh in the original movie, but something about Ricky's take on it makes it even funnier.

Meanwhile, my girl Ash is absolutely killing it as Belle. Not me having the very same expression as Big Red while watching her... gosh, I love both of them so much! Also, no offence to the rest of the cast, but Julia really is the best vocalist out there. Out of all of them. I said what I said.

My apologies to Ricky, but his voice is just not it when it comes to playing the Beast. Still, with the other option being him putting on that fake deep voice from the audition, I'm glad he didn't.

Ahhhh Portwell nation you ok guys? Since we didn't get them singing Something There, this is very much the next best thing... and boy, is it good!

Those glances between Kourtney and Howie, on the other hand... what on Earth is happening there?

Ok, so you all know just how strongly I feel about Seb's casting as Chip, and yet... boy had one line and absolutely ate it up! Give him an actual singing role next time, Miss Jenn!

EJ being starstruck by Jamie not because he's a big music producer, but because he's Gina's brother... excuse me while I sob!

Excuse me, what!!!! 'A big brother figure'? Boy, this didn't turn out the way I thought it would... now I'm scared.

Way to ruin things, Jamie! And I don't even mean the fact that his name is not Theodore. It doesn't matter what his name is anymore. He might just have put a spanner in the works of Portwell, and they were just doing so well! Ugh, I'm so frustrated. I wish I'd never boarded — what did I call it — 'the majestic S.S. Portwell'. What if it doesn't set sail now?

And there goes another disappointment... Carlos' 'the orchestra hasn't vamped this much since Bop to the Top' line had nothing to do with Seblos, and everything to do with what might still be the downfall of this show. I am not ready.

No. Miss Jenn did not just say that. She did not just tell Ricky — who, may I remind you, not that anyone's forgotten, just fell off of a high place last episode — to 'jump off of something high'. I realise she's under all the pressure, but that is not an excuse. Well, at least she heard herself.

Oh my gods... Nini — well, Nina, actually — did not just call him 'Richard', did she? That's it, that's the point of no return. And well, I kind of wanted them to reach it.

Told you, didn't I? I told you that-girl-who-must-not-be-named was evil! I always follow my intuition and it has not once deceived me. Redeem that, if you can! Guess what? You can't. We've just reached another point of no return.

Wait, a bloody cliffhanger? I cannot handle this. I physically cannot handle this. If you need me, I'll be sitting on my bed in shock, trying to process everything that happened. I'll need a while to get a grip on myself.

[honeybeezx]

Armor - Oberyn Martell x Reader x Ellaria Sand - Part 3

Author’s Note:  Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, I give you more Prince Oberyn. This chapter really focuses on him and reader but I promise we'll get to Ellaria soon :) For now, enjoy our favorite prince!

Summary: Oberyn visits you at King's Landing

Word Count: 4.4K

Warnings: mentions of death

———————————————

“And he was pleased?” Tyrion asked as you both sat in the peaceful library of the palace. You sat in the window sill, Tyrion at a desk not far from you.

“He was.” You confirmed. A little too pleased, but Tyrion didn’t need to know that. “The prince is certainly...passionate. He doesn’t hide much does he?”

“No...it’s an asset for him rather than a weakness. He has no secrets so there is nothing for us to exploit as an advantage over him should we have ever needed one.” Tyrion said, sighing as the wheels of his mind began turning. You could always tell when he was deep in thought. His brow furrowed and he looked somewhat distant. “We do have his passion for revenge to use against him though. He wishes to seek revenge for his sister. If we can direct that revenge towards The Mountain rather than towards my father, we may escape this wedding with all Lannisters in tact.”

“You say that as if it were a good thing.” You snipped. Tyrion eyed you with contempt.

“They are still my family. As often as I think about throwing Cersei and her demon of a son in a dark cell somewhere, they are my blood as well as king and queen regent.” He reminded with a chastising tone.

You gruffed and turned your head to look out onto the city. It was aggravating when he looked at you as if you were a child. You loved Tyrion, but sometimes his intelligence and the fact that he was a bit older annoyed you. “All I’m saying is that your sister and nephew are not the most empathetic of people. They don’t rule, they just seize power. They’re no king and queen...just tiny people wanting to feel big.”

“Your choice of words wounds me.” Tyrion teased.

You rolled your eyes and gave a small chuckle. “You are twice more human than anyone in your family and you know very well that your stature does not diminish that.” You were more scolding him than complimenting him. He knew you better than that. He gave a small chuckle, amused at your annoyance only to annoy you more.

“You are very kind to say so. I wish Cersei had your compassion. It seems nowadays she points out my stature every chance she gets.”

“It’s only because it’s her only weapon against you.” You reminded him.

Tyrion gave a small chuckle. “Let’s pray she doesn’t have one against you. Your little bit of theater upon our arrival has already put you on her bad side-“

“I don’t care what side I’m on.”

“Well you should.” Tyrion retorted. He tensed before taking pause and sighing. The pressure in his shoulders subsided as he calmed himself. “You forget that Cersei is queen regent and her son is a tyrannical king. You are skilled with a bow, but you are only one person. Cersei has an entire army and she will not hesitate to use it if you push too far.”

You were finding that King’s Landing was your least favorite place on earth. Before you could pick fights with whomever you pleased and you could get yourself out of them before anyone could inflicting any harm upon you. Being silent around someone who made your blood boil was proving difficult. How could one city harbor so many people you despised?

Before you could respond, a guard promptly entered the library, looking frantically between the two of you before his eyes settled on Tyrion. “My lord, Prince Oberyn has arrived at the palace and is waiting in the gardens.”

“I should have known he’d visit sooner or later.” Tyrion sighed and got up from his chair. He was about to leave when the guard blocked his path.

“Forgive me my lord, but his request was for the Silver Hawk specifically.”

Your eyes widened in surprise as both men eyed you curiously. “Well don’t look to me! I didn’t invite him in.” You quipped, out of defense. You knew exactly why he was here. He wasn’t going to kill you. No, he’d be too bold to do so right in the king’s palace as a guest to the royal wedding, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t threaten you.

“It seems our little hawk has made a friend.” Tyrion teased, but looked to you for further explanation.

“I have done no such thing.” You huffed as you strapped on your bow and sling of arrows, as if to prove a point. “If I had to guess, he wants me to shoot for him. Apparently, his brother told him of me and now he wants to see if the rumors are true.” You lied. He was here to threaten you, or worse, tell Tyrion about your temper while with him and his paramour in the brothel. He had just scolded you for not taking heed with the queen regent, you didn’t need to hear it again over Prince Oberyn.

“I’m sure that will go over well.” Tyrion laughed. “If you don’t want to show him you don’t have to. But you must decline him politely if that is your decision. Be cordial, but you are not entertainment.”

You smiled at your friend. Sometimes you wondered if anyone else understood you so well. “I suppose I must break it to him gently then. Maybe I’ll offer him a girl as compensation.” You laughed, though you weren’t so sure he wouldn’t hold you to that.

———————————

It was sunny outside, far too sunny for your liking. Your leather armor did not suit the beating sun. You felt beads of sweat down your back, but you ignored it. You weren’t about to meet the man you offended armorless, knowing full well that he kept a dagger on him.

You wondered the gardens a bit, but he was nowhere to be seen. You kept your eyes peeled for a flash of yellow or gold, only to be deceived by the bright flowers that surrounded you as you walked the stone path.

You finally came upon the beautiful pond that marked the middle of the garden. It was captivating, tranquil. Lilly pads with little white flowers blooming on top, and little fish swimming to the top of the water only to sink bellow its depths once more, it was enough to put you at ease, if only for a moment. Not able to resist, you let your hand skim along the surface. The cool of it sent goosebumps on your skin, what you wouldn’t give to dive in, just for a bit.

“It’s beautiful is it not?”

You shot straight up and turned at the sound of the accented voice. Sure enough, Oberyn was behind you, giving a small smile. How long has he been there? Was he watching you this whole time? He approached slowly, hands at his sides, the very picture of calm and confidence. Confident you were, calm you most certainly were not.

“It is.” You agreed, trying to remain composed. “I confess I didn’t know it was here until just now.”

“The palace seems to have many hidden beauties.” He charmed with a grin.

You rolled your eyes, if only to have an excuse to avoid his gaze. “Prince Oberyn I already made it clear I-“

“I’m here to apologize.” He interrupted. His features softened. It amazed you how he could switch between the sultry, arrogant prince you thought him to be to...this. He just seemed like a man, not the prince of Dorne. “Well partially.” He laughed as he looked up to the sky for a moment, before returning to you. “Ellaria and I, we do not hide our desires. You are a beautiful woman, we do not take such beauty for granted.” He explained, his brown eyes meeting yours.

Even then you still didn’t understand.

“But,” he continued, “we...disrespected you when it was not our intention, and for that, I give my sincerest apologies.”

Part of your job was to detect liars, and although you suspected Oberyn could be a very good one, you were confident you could tell when he was being deceptive. But now...Well...You figured it would be hard for a man who was prideful and arrogant by nature to feign sincere regret. But there was no give, no sign of false pretense or acting.

You turned away from him, looking out into the water to clear your thoughts before replying. His gaze did not make it easy.

“Perhaps,” you began hesitantly, “I should not have threatened you before leaving. But I am not a prize to be wanted Prince Oberyn. I’m a soldier, and I’ve worked hard to be treated as such.”

Oberyn nodded and looked out into the water, his brows furrowed. You could tell he was thinking deeply about something, but you couldn’t tell what occupied his thoughts. “Men do not take you seriously because you are a woman?”

You eyed him in confusion. “Does that surprise you?”

“We do not define people by their gender in Dorne.” Oberyn stated simply. “Women are treated equally, they are no less capable than any man. A person is defined by their character regardless of gender. Though I should not be surprised. Women are mistreated in many places, and each time I encounter it, it breaks my heart. I think of my girls, and my sister, Ellia.”

“You have daughters?” You asked, surprised .

Oberyn smiled fondly. “I have eight daughters.”

“Eight daughters?!” You quipped before forcing your mouth shut again. Your mind raced, trying to imagine Oberyn with one daughter, but eight?! “How you and Ellaria manage to leave Dorne at all with eight daughters is beyond me.”

“They are all strong, fiercely independent women, but I worry about them. The thought of something happening to them fills me with dread. The acts of men are far too often evil, especially when women are concerned.” This particularly bothered him, and for some reason, it surprised you. You took him as the sort of man who only used women for pleasure, after all, that is what brothels were for. But the way he spoke of his children...well...no one could fake that level of sincerity, of gentleness. “They are safe in Dorne, but they all have a desire for adventure, to see lands beyond their own. I curse myself for giving them that particular trait.” He laughed.

You were stunned. Life in Dorned seemed so far removed from the life you’ve known. You had to fight for respect, to be taken seriously. Anyone who looked down on you as some little girl could be quickly silenced with a good aim and a sharp arrow. In Dorne, it seemed as if it were just given so long as the person were of good character. It seemed so simple yet imagining having such an attitude was difficult.

Not only that, but you were shocked to find that the prince seemed to agree with his land’s attitudes. It was only yesterday you thought of him as a prick who only saw women as objects of pleasure only to find that he was suddenly very open-minded and accepting.

It seemed far too good to be true.

“You are lucky to live in such a land, and your brother is wise to rule with such upstanding morals. It seems like a lovely place.” You complimented, trying your best to imagine Dorne.

“You’ve never been?” Oberyn asked curiously before you shook your head in reply. “You would like it. It is the very opposite from the North. It is warm, but lush and green. It is vibrant and warm, much like its people. Though I think you may faint from the heat with all your armor.” He teased.

Once again you rolled your eyes. “My armor protects me, especially here. No one knows who is a friend and who is a foe in this city, it’s maddening.”

“Which is partially why I am here,” Oberyn explained, looking back over to you. “Ellaria and I....we at least want to offer friendship. King’s Landing is a dangerous city, everyone needs allies. I saw you when you arrived that day, in the palace. I thought you were going to take off Cersei’s head.” He chuckled, only earning him another glare. “I do not mock you.” He clarified, still keeping a light tone. “I found it...Refreshing to see someone talk to Cersei like the queen regent she is not.”

He made it very clear that he wants to kill any Lannister that he sets his sights on.

Tyrion’s words echoed in your head and you remember the story of his sister. You didn’t dare bring it up. Not only was it none of your business, but the less he knew you knew, the better. This was the Game of Thrones, and you were a spy in the middle of it all. Friendship was not a thing you could afford, but it could be a thing you could fake.

“I’m a friend to anyone who hates the Lannisters.” You sneered while you lied right to his face. “I am loyal to Tyrion because he is nothing like his family, but that is as far as my loyalties extend. The rest of the Lannisters are terrible people who will, at least one day, pay for their crimes.”

“I’m glad we share the same feelings towards them. The Lannisters took my sister and her dear children from me and my family. I did not come here for some boy-king’s wedding.” And suddenly the charm the prince once had melted so smoothly into a fiery lust for revenge, a fire fueled by his hate for the Lannisters.

It was like looking into a mirror to see the person you once were.

“You intend on killing one of the Lannisters.” Your voice was barely a whisper. You turned to him and his eyes met yours. It scared you to see how much hate there was in them. “Seeking revenge...it won’t bring you the satisfaction you think it will, Prince Oberyn.” You warned. You weren’t sure why you cared. He was a prince who could do as he pleased. If he had a death wish that was on him, but somehow you could not shake the overwhelming sense of dread and horror at the very thought of the handsome prince’s blood being spilled.

“And you know this how?”

Too close.

“Come now, Prince Oberyn. We only just formed a truce, can’t reveal all my secrets just yet.” It was a tease laced with a warning. You weren’t stupid. Getting you to open up only to use it to betray you later, it was the oldest trick in the book. You didn’t even tell Tyrion anything about yourself for ages, and you liked Tyrion. As far as you were concerned, the Red Viper was still a threat. In another life, you could maybe appreciate Oberyn’s charm and boldness, but with all the tension surrounding the tyrannical king’s wedding, there was no time for making true friends.

Not that you couldn’t fake it, for Tyrion’s sake. Oberyn was just a pawn in this game as well, a chess piece for Tyrion to have handy when the moment was right. But if he was going to attempt the murder of a Lannister, all that would be lost. It was now you wished Tyrion was here. You had a silver tongue, but Tyrion was much better at devising plans than you were. This was his game, not yours.

Oberyn laughed and beamed at you.

It’s like the warmth of the sun settles in his chest.

“You are very wise for so young a person.”

“Not as young as you think.” You retorted sharply.

“I meant no offense.” He found himself repeating this sentence the more time he spent with you. “It was a compliment, something you clearly are not used to receiving.”

“I don’t need compliments, I know my worth.”

Oberyn turned so his whole body was facing you. You held your ground, you would not break under his gaze again. “And what if people simply wish to compliment you?”

His voice was like honey. You were suddenly conscious of your chest heavily rising and falling, aware of how close the two of you were. There was still a respectable distance between the two of you, but if felt like every slight movement was a pull towards him. You felt like a fly being lured to a spider’s web. And you thought the size of the palace made you feel small.

“Then they are wasting their breath.” You pulled yourself out of it. Now it was you who hadn’t meant to be offensive. Oberyn didn’t seem offended, he only looked at you as if you were life’s greatest mystery. You could hardly blame him, you had given him a similar look before. “I only mean that words are precious and powerful things. People should use them wisely, in the right moments, at the right times. I don’t need compliments, so you don’t have to pay me any.”

Oberyn smiled and shook his head once again. It seemed like every word you said left him deeper and deeper in thought. “And you are the decider of when is the right time and when is not?” He refuted, challenging you.

And that flash of anger you felt in the brothel came back and settled in your chest, but you buried it. You were prepared now, you wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. “I should be. I’m very rarely wrong after all”

Oberyn erupted into a hearty laugh, and even you had to crack a small smile.

“The Silver Hawk has a sense of humor! I was beginning to wonder if you were capable of smiling.” He teased.

You rolled your eyes, but there was still a small grin on your face. “Don’t get used to it.”

But Oberyn was still smiling.

Good, let him think he’s gotten my guard down.

“You are a wonder, Silver Hawk of the North. I am glad our paths have crossed, though I wish it were not under these circumstances. If Tyrion should ever relieve you of your services, even temporarily, you must come to Dorne. You would be a most welcome guest and I know my daughters would be delighted to meet someone of your skill. They are trained warriors themselves, but none of them are archers. I’m sure they would love the lessons if you were willing.”

It was a pretty thought. Traveling more, exploring Dorne, even meeting his daughters intrigued you. But it was only that, a pretty thought. “Seeing Dorne sounds...intriguing. I always try envisioning your land but I’m afraid I lack such imagination. As for your girls, I would be delighted to meet such warriors. But I am loyal to Tyrion. He pays me well and I’ve seen more of Westeros in the time I’ve been in his service than I’ve seen in my lifetime prior to being in his service. And as a Lannister, he’ll always need protection...his family has too many enemies.” You explained. That, and very deep down, you would miss him and the rest of your crew too much.

“But you are only a person. Every person longs for freedom, no?” He asked, surprised by your answer.

“I am free.” You replied more sharply than you intended. You took a deep breath and tried calming yourself. But you were not some loyal dog. You knew that Tyrion would let you leave the moment you asked him. You wanted to stay.

But Oberyn didn’t need something to use against you.

“Tyrion doesn’t keep me chained. If he did, he wouldn’t have let me speak to you so freely. I can do as I please as long as I do not neglect my responsibility and duty to protect and help him.”

“So you are free when you are not needed?”

“When I am temporarily not needed.” You retorted but calmed yourself before you could feel the flutter of anger you were used to feeling in your chest when you talked to the prince. You weren’t sure he actually meant to insult you anyhow, he was just good at doing it naturally. “With all your respect, I don’t expect you to understand. You are a prince. I don’t imagine you’ve had to fight to live or survive. You fight for your country which is honorable. We just...fight for different reasons.”

Oberyn began to walk alongside the pond. You followed suit. You’d been looking for an excuse to explore the gardens anyways. He smiled as he took in the surroundings. “I admire that, your reason is honorable as well. You fight for yourself, you honor yourself. We may not be so different as I thought. I fight for my family, but I honor myself in a much different way. To you, Ellaria and I’s advances were offensive, and again we apologize, but to us, we are simply honoring ourselves by being completely ourselves. We do not shy from our desires, life is too short to not pursue the things you want...even if things may not always go the way you think they might.” Oberyn chuckled, giving you a small nudge. You let out another small chuckle.

He wasn’t so bad.

Still a threat, but not so bad.

“I suppose there is some honor in that.” You relented. “I would only suggest taking into account who you are talking to Prince Oberyn. This is King’s Landing. Making enemies here is as easy as breathing. You almost made one this yesterday.” You joked.

“I do not care about making enemies and I care less about what people might think...until today.” He grinned at you, and your reaction was to instantly turn away. No one has ever looked at you like that. There was a gentle fondness to him that blended far too well with his confidence. You had heard only a few stories that told of his skill on the battlefield, but there was a far greater danger in his tongue than his sword.

What we’re you to say to that? He seemed to care less about what even Tyrion, the right hand of the king thought of him.

“Tell me something Prince Oberyn, and speak candidly. Why are you so interested in me? You have seen woman warriors before, your own daughters even. I have shown you nothing of my skill and even less of who I am until today. So why?” You asked before you were even sure you wanted to know the answer.

“Because you are beautiful.”

Your jaw set. Was that really it?

“And, though you are not as forward as Ellaria or I, you have the same passion, that little spark in your chest. Why do you think our sigil is a sun?” He smirked, proud of his family, his name, and his city. If you were highborn and looked like him you imagined you would have the same gusto.

"It’s alluring and I want to more. Not many people have the pleasure of meeting you. You either steal their breath with your legendary arrows or you are guarding the Little Lion. We were curious about what lies beneath your armor.”

You wanted to scream, maybe even punch him, but you remained unmoving. So this was the game they were playing. Break the Silver Hawk to get to the Lannisters. What did he take you for? A  nieve girl pining for her first love?

“But-“ he continued, “the more I speak with you the more confused I am. You are a mystery, Silver Hawk, and that is your strength.”

You took notes of that. Of all things, you would believe that to be true. When you really thought about his words, you could understand what he meant. If no one knew anything about you no one would have a way to hurt you.

“And you embrace your flaws, and that is your strength.” You noted. There was an understanding between you two, an odd connection despite differences.

“Prince Oberyn.” That voice was far too familiar to you. You turned to see the golden-haired queen regent, somehow glaring at both you and the prince at the same time. “Welcome to King’s Landing. I apologize for not greeting you sooner, looks like someone beat me to it.” The queen regent flashed one of her signature fake smiles your way.

“I asked for The Silver Hawk. If I wanted you I would have asked for you.” Oberyn retorted.

Maybe you liked him more than you thought. If you couldn’t talk back to the queen, you were glad Oberyn could in your place.

The queen remained composed, but you and Oberyn were not stupid. There was rage under the calm demeanor. If there was one thing you understood about the queen regent, it was that.

“Though we welcome you to King’s Landing Prince Oberyn, in the future, the King and I will be made aware of your visits.” She addressed the prince, but glared at you.

“With all your respect,” you spat, meaning anything but, “I follow orders from the hand of the king. And I do believe Prince Oberyn made it clear that his only intention was conversing with me.”

“You have nothing to fear today, Queen Cersei.” Oberyn added.

Today...you suppressed a grin at that.

“Prince Oberyn, since you are here you must let me show you around the palace. It’s been ages since anyone from the Martell family has visited and the grounds truly are exquisite.”

Oberyn said nothing, but looked to you.

Is he asking for my permission?

“I must return to Tyrion. No doubt he’s going on about how he can’t do anything without me.” You joked, earning a small smiled from the prince. You gave a small nod towards your new companion and an even smaller one to the queen.

You turned to leave, but Oberyn’s hand clasped around your wrist. Your wild, shocked eyes met his calm, collected ones. The prince placed a small, chaste kiss to your knuckles, looking at you and grinning the entire time.

Right in front of the queen.

“Until we meet again, Silver Hawk.”

Panicked, you turned away quickly and made a beeline back to Tyrion

It was sure to go over well the next time you were burdened with the company of the queen regent.

————————

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

————————

Tag List (if I’m missing someone please let me know!)

@ilikechocolatemilkh @rpcvliz @janelongxox

[dipperdogrpg]

Cloud and Aerith theories/facts and not canon pairing essay

Ended up writing way more then intended lol and thought to share what’s  happening in the FF7 story between Cloud and Aerith. This is a response text I did on my youtube channel where I do commentary as a Cloti supporter. Instead I decided to move it here.

................................................................................................................................

Wahh lol I got carried away! I enjoyed but also felt bad for Cloud having to dance at the Honey Bee thanks to Aerith and her plans. Gosh darn it though Cloud dancing was great and I squealed along with Aerith, but a tinge of guilt hits when I see his troubled face haha. The thing people confuses here is that Cloud pushes himself to do it for Tifa because he was ready to walk away. Instead of busting through the mansion he sucked it up to ensure Tifa’s safety and chose to sneak inside as a woman.

Yes, I’m also very curious how Sephiroth's schemes will develop and how Aerith will try to stop him in Remake. She's much more focused on Sephiroth and stopping him compared in OG. In the other game Aerith originally joined to understand her Cetra abilities, but it feels pretty evident she has new mysterious powers as a Cetra in Remake and her relationship with Sephiroth is more personal. Also, I think Sephiroth and Aerith’s ancestry will have a bigger role and focus on Jenova and the Cetra's relationship/History. I plan to do an Aerith Theory and a character analysis in the future because she is, as the developers describe her, mysterious. 

It's obvious Sephiroth is harassing Cloud mentally then later physically through his clones. He is scheming something big and I look forward how Aerith will try to counter it because she is probably the only one capable to do it as a Cetra. One of the big schemes was removing the Arbiters of fate, but I think they both wanted that. Both Sephiroth and Aerith want to change something that doesn’t fit with the planet’s “destined” agenda.

In Max's commentary he mentioned Sephiroth was intentional with stalling Cloud running into Aerith, which caused a butterfly effect to ruin the events the planet has planned. While it tries to fix itself, the party are becoming aware of the Arbiters of Fate existence and sees it as a problem. At the end the team removes it when Sephiroth had some control in manipulating it. Its been mentioned the three figures you fight are a representation of the three sephiroth remnants from AC, Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo. So maybe we are getting hints of Sephiroth's abilities with the clones and the lifestream which could lead to some complicated trouble. We also get evidence Aerith is already more powerful than her Og counterpart by creating the portal to fight the Arbitors. When the heck did she learn that? 

My theory about removing the arbitors of fate are so the creators can have wiggle room for slight variation in scenes they've considered fixing in the past to improve a more consistent story and of course a new way for Sephiroth to exercise his goal along with Aerith because definitely getting hints those two know more then they should. My theory, they are from the future and traveled to the past using the Life stream and I’m using the OTWTS Novel as evidence when Aerith and Sephiroth talk about their time in the Life Stream. In there they gained new powers. Evidence- Sephiroth talks about it at the temple of ancients and that he gained new knowledge from there, so why not Aerith too. Either way the party will stop him at the end with Aerith's help because her role in the story is to save the world while Tifa's role is to save Cloud. That is a canon statement by one of the developers btw. Aerith and Tifa have their roles to play in FF7 that lead to its success.

Fun fact, but Cloud is not himself with Aerith. The developers did say Cloud truly is himself with Tifa. Why? because love. Now, the cool thing in Remake we are witnessing is Cloud learning how to make friends. A poor social skill set that may have contributed with his insecurity when he was a child. Wanting to join tifa and her friends but instead stayed away. To make himself feel better he makes up a story that he chose not to play with the other kids because he is special. In FF7 we get to witness Cloud learning these relationship skills, which helps develop his character to grow up until we get to the Lifestream sequence. It's after that he can stop pretending to be what he think is the ideal cool grown up version of himself and instead work on his real self with the new bonds of friendship he made who stuck around Cloud regardless of him pretending to act as someone else during their adventure. Cloud is still Cloud. Even with the messed up memories he had. He is not Zack. He is like a little boy picking up traits he likes from other people and mimic them. Very confused why people think he is Zack. He’s not. He is Cloud trying to be cool and does it poorly. That’s a canon thing.

Soldier Cloud is a facade, an illusion of himself he truly believed in until he sorted out his memories and realized "oh I'm not being myself and just mimicking what would Zack do. A friend I look up to"  It's been pointed out Cloud isn't actually grown up mentally and is still a child with insecurity about himself along with 5 years of trauma thanks to Hojo. Poor BABY! This whole copy/mimic theme gets reflected with the kids in sector 8 that mimic Cloud in remake over time during the side quests. Cloud is doing the same thing with Zack. Even Biggs hints that Cloud and the kids have a lot in common. I'm not crazy about Sector 8 but it shows best what Biggs told Cloud before the plate falls. And one more thing I want to add lol. When Cloud gets his red drink from Tifa there's a pause of him looking up and down at the drink and Tifa, before he says beautiful. That moment of pause he thinks to himself what he should do here and then came up with what he believes a confident person/Zack would do. Zack doesn't hesitate when giving a compliment. Confident people don't normally hesitate when they talk. It's why we get moments of Cloud saying some awkward lines when he doesn't give himself time to think and its one of the best moments to watch lol cuz I think that's when real cloud slips out trying to act cool or is at a lost for words. It's canon by the developers that Cloud isn't cool but tries to act it.

Another Fun fact. Most party members and NPCs in Remake mention and hint in game they see past the facade Cloud puts up. Tifa, Barret, Wedge, Biggs, Marle, Jessie and Aerith are some of the characters that see past it and either go along with it, poke fun at his attempt or tell him to his face they know he's pretending to be someone he's not. Basically seeing past the character he pretends to be and can see he has a good heart over the course they spend time with him. Even though Cloud tries to convince others and himself he could care less about them and is only in it for the money.

Now OG is really awkward with the romance honestly from my playthroughs so far. (Follow me on Youtube Dipperdog15 if you want to catch my FF7 commentary when I go live playing OG and Intergrade.) But with Remake it's very clear they are building up Aerith's love story with Zack so we can cry hard later. All of Zack scenes so far is related to Aerith. In Remake and OG Aerith display some of Zack's mannerisms too because people copy/mimic what they do to feel closer to them when in love. She continues to wear the bow Zack gave her and the pink dress in memory of Zack. She's said "gotta move forward not back" in remake and/or that Zack probably moved on with another girl in Og but what if what she said is a lie. We have Cloud as the unreliable narrator so why can't it also happen with Aerith who is likely lying to convince herself to move on to protect her heart. In fact a lot of characters in FF7 lie to themselves and we get character development when they stop and face the truth. It's one of the many themes in FF7 which I think I’ll deep dive into on my podcast channel in the future.

Another thing to keep in mind is that Zack is risking it all to make it to Midgar to see Aerith while risking Cloud's life on this mission, because he promised her. Promise is a big important theme in FF7. Cloud and Tifa are the canon couple and Zack and Aerith are the canon couple in FF7 because these pairings promised each other. I won't disagree about Cloud not caring about Aerith, but he cares for all his friends as said in AC. Also why make it possible the idea to bring Zack back? To create a love square? No. It’s have us the players focus instead the reunion of Aerith and Zack. That’s more attention grabbing because we never got to see it before and I’ll cry when they cry finally getting to be together. If they don’t I’ll cry some more. The developers are pushing for Zerith and their development in Remake/Intergrade. 

Another thing to notice, there are a lot of similarities between Jessie and Aerith's relationship when they are around Cloud. This directive choice, I believe, isn't a coincidence in order to water down scenes that are suppose to be special. It is instead not a “one of kind’ scene. They both get carried bridal style. They both tell cloud My Hero. They both invited Cloud over for dinner. They both ask about who Tifa is. They both got a pikachu face from Cloud when jessie optionally kissed Cloud on the cheek and Aerith wearing the optional red dress. They both have strong personalities that overwhelms Cloud and that is a developer canon statement. They both worked hard to befriend Cloud so he can open up and be nicer to them. Cloud treats them both the same.

Aerith’s relationship with Cloud in Remake is directing us to friendship. In the novel it mentioned she loves Cloud, in what way we don’t know. But we can say for a fact Cloud was living a lie in OG and his real self loves Tifa. In fact his other self loved Tifa too, you just have to catch the moment. Example, Barret teasing Cloud if he is eager to see his baby when you first see Tifa in OG. It happens when you run to the bar, but only if you catch Tifa on the porch before she goes inside. That’s means in both remake and OG, Barret knew something was up with those two. Another moment is the interest Cloud has with what Tifa almost said in the gondola. It was obviously sounding like some kind of confession from Tifa at Gold Saucer. When you get this date the story is more fluid when you arrive at the northern crater and Cloud says “only your opinion matters” to Tifa. Huge RED FLAG Cloud considers Tifa important to him. Meanwhile Aerith and Cloud’s relationship was open for interpretation that it may have been love in OG, but the scenes that helped implied it were removed in Remake. The point system was just for fun because it was a popular thing in the 90s. Plus the points for Tifa, Aerith, Barret and Yuffie’s are their feelings for Cloud not Cloud’s feelings towards them. Then you get rewarded learning a little about the character, but that’s it. FF7 remake/intergrade is not an otome game. Cloud ends with Tifa no matter what. Even if Aerith was to stay alive the Life Stream sequence will always be Cloud and Tifa’s moment to learn about their feelings for each other. The developers have said it is one of their favorite scenes, so they won’t change it. ok now back to Remake. 

Aerith in her resolution tells him not to love her and it’s not real. A deliberate choice of words I think she picked to shoo away the thought they could be a thing for both their sakes and us the players lol. Doing that made it weird now because Cloud doesn’t want to ruin what ever progress he has with Tifa in Remake. Plus Cloud only known her for a few days and if his actions are making her think there’s this growing romance between them he’s not going to encourage it. Those lines raised his awareness to watch himself I bet, so Tifa doesn’t get the wrong idea and you can see the distance he put between himself and Aerith later in game. Meanwhile in Intermission we see Cloud continues to make quick glances at Tifa whenever he can. We get it Cloud. You can’t keep your eyes off her. Ok getting off track. So Cloud and Aerith are instead just friends. Doing this allows Tifa to pick up the role to be there for Aerith. Which will help develop their friendship to be stronger as the two girls encourage each other. because I didn’t pick up on the two being best friends in OG but in Remake it’s very clear. He already looked uncomfortable when Aerith grabbed his arm back at the ghost station in front of Tifa. To include Cloud with this idea of him falling in love with another woman in front of Tifa would leave a poor taste in our mouths after spending several hours watching him develop several intimate moments with Tifa. That freaking hug scene and train roll you guys screamed sexual tension and love. Cloud is not that kind of guy who easily falls in love. His whole hero’s journey is because of Tifa and he makes sure to be nice to her while trying to get her attention. With anyone else he is quite hostile with new people and slowly learns to tolerate them before liking them.  Cloud treats Tifa differently in a special way. He’s been pinning for Tifa since they were kids and even imagined scenarios of Tifa noticing him. That’s right, not all of Cloud’s visions may be accurate. We may see more scenes of kid Cloud imagining moments with Tifa to confuse our perspective they are childhood friends. Again, Cloud is the unreliable narrator thanks to Jenova and 5 years of trauma.  Now back to Aerith. Their relationship definitely felt different when Cloud, Tifa and Barret rescued Aerith. In fact Aerith’s relationship with everyone is different in a better way. The relationship between Tifa and Barret are better fleshed out compared to OG Aerith and I’m for it. Very happy they removed the jail scene. It was upsetting watching Aerith flirt with Cloud while Tifa was stuck in the cell forced to listen and Aerith owing Cloud a date. Which changed also in Remake. Taking Aerith home and spending time her was the date as mentioned in game by Aerith herself. 

When I play through Chapter 8 and 9 I get this feeling Meta Aerith looks uncomfortable sticking to the OG lines of herself but does it anyways so the Arbiters of fate won’t come for her because she wants to hold on to her memories. Something she believes can help her friends I’m guessing. This is if my theory is right lol. What we have now is an Aerith that’s more mysterious than she was in OG. If this is OG Aerith making a return in Remake then I believe she was acting a lot, but then we see hiccups of her mentioning Cloud being a mercenary when he never mentioned it or acting like she knows Tifa for like forever before she actually met her in Remake. And then there was her knowing the plate would fall in sector 7. I’m betting the burden of knowing it was so hard to hide that Tifa picked up that she might be hiding something. 

We are near the end! 

Aerith’s resolution explored further. The resolution helps proves my theory this is OG Aerith that travel back to the past using the Lifestream to help her comrades in the fight against Sephiroth in Remake who also returned to the past. What’s also interesting about her resolution are the things she said are something you want to tell someone before you disappear. It was so sudden in OG that it sounds like Aerith wants to make up for it and also doesn’t want Cloud to suffer in guilt as he did in AC. Cherish the moment. Every one dies. 

Aerith knows the truth with Cloud and Tifa’s relationship hence her stopping herself interfering. Now maybe Aerith did fall in love with Cloud, and maybe while Cloud pretended to be someone else was loving the idea, which is a stretch cuz there are plenty debunking the idea which I can go over later. They both may have been using each other to fill the hurt in their heart not having their true loves instead. Zack and Tifa. In her resolution, Aerith has declared she will not pursue Cloud as she did in OG and we have evidence of that when they rescue her. there were so many opportunities for Cloud to be Aerith’s hero. Instead those moments were replaced with Tifa consoling her and rescuing her.

The Arbitors of Fate are gone, so I believe Aerith’s normal clips of her flirting with Cloud will get removed or changed as many have already. This allows the directors to remove lines that painted Aerith poorly some moments and better her relationship with the team too. Aerith will still have flaws like everyone does. No one is perfect and I’m perfectly fine with that.

Crap if I keep going this will turn into a podcast in writing I think lol. Anywho, yes the arbiters of fate were eliminated, who knows if it's permanent, but as the developers have repeated, FF7 story will remain the same at heart. Iconic moments will remain. If it is not then that's a risky move to say to fans. Aerith will die to protect her loved ones and the planet and will reunite at the church in spirit with Zack perhaps. She can’t escape her role as the last living Cetra. That is her truth which she denied when she was little as shown in a flashback with kid Aerith. The other theme in FF7 is trying to move forward after a loss. Which extends to Advent Children which some of the team members has to deal with survival guilt. Some fans are getting their hopes up that Aerith will live. The developers are using Biggs and Jessie’s possible surviving scenes to prove lives lost can live in Remake. I think they may die later though if that is their fate, but we never actually saw them die in OG either. It was just implied. This is a set up so Aerith’s death scene can be impactful again in Remake, so we can cry again.

This was a lot and little bit everywhere, but I hope you enjoyed it. You can follow me on youtube in the link below where I invite other FF7 fans to talk about the story and Cloud and Tifa’s relationship Or me doing my own Cloud and Tifa commentary and Remake talk while I play the game. Thanks for reading! Hope you check out my channel and sub to check out my videos when convenient for you. Thank you!

https://www.youtube.com/c/Dipperdog15/featured