#maybe it's just. being a dyke.
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I bought a pair of cheap stompy boots from Primark yesterday bc doc martens are shit now and all my boots have leaky soles and the weather is very wet. need new boots to keep my feet dry.
anyway I bought these cheap fake combat boots and I had. an immediate flashback. to the first time I remember ever WANTING a pair of shoes. I was like 7 and I argued and argued and argued to be bought these stompy snakeskin-effect combat boots instead of black buckle up shoes for school. mum told me they didn't look comfortable and I lied SO HARD about the fact that even trying them on in the shop I could tell they were going to rub. they made my feet blister like crazy but I don't know I think it says something about me and what it says is I Have Always Been This Way.
#been obsessed with having good stompy feet since childhood#always loved the look of a floaty dress and combat boots. always.#maybe it's being a kid in the 90s and early 2000s when that was SUCH an alt look#maybe it's just. being a dyke.#but stompy boots. new rocks. docs. combat boots.#have always had my heart#red said
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Dykes to Watch Out For is actually so good
#veesaysthings#dtwof#alison bechdel#but in all seriousness like. read it. it tackles so many queer issues that ppl still fight about#like maybe read some dykes to watch out for and you’ll calm down#it’s just about community and loving being queer. and funny as hell.
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no the "omg ur just a lesbian bc u can't get a man!!!1" thing is SO wild because it's incredibly easy to get a man meanwhile getting a woman (as a woman) is INSANELY difficult. despite what everyone says is2g ~wlw~ have higher standards (with women) than men do with women or women do with men
#god i wish i were a straight man so bad.#they dont know how EASY they have it#truly if theres male incels that cant get any there must be something seriously seriously wrong with them like#either a severe physical deformity or severe issues with hygiene or severe severe autism/mental illness or something just really really bad#i mean REALLY bad#i know i sound like a bitter incel rn thats because i am. leave me alone#and honestly i dont feel like being trans limited my dating pool by much if at all bc tbh? nobody was interested in me in the first place#and like honestly all the ftms i knew irl had more game than me as a ~cis dyke~ so like. Lol.#idk bro maybe i am just that ugly. whatever.
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every single "does x belong at pride" poll should include a qualifier about whether or not you've ever actually been to a pride march
#atlas entry#“should bisexual women with boyfriends be allowed at pride?”#how about should people who think other people's lives are their business be allowed at pride#what. are you going up to couples you think are straight and asking if at least one of them is bisexual? at a pride march?#“gay cops shouldn't be allowed at pride even out of uniform!” i hate to break it to you but I know gay cops and they don't have like. horns#you're gonna see a dyke with a buzz cut and combat boots and think “holy shit is she a cop?” what do you MEAN#are you implying we should implement some sort of background check at pride where they ask you if your boyfriend is straight or you're a cop#you know you can just go right. you can just go to the march. you can walk in#idk maybe marches in the US are different but I don't think you have to register in advance and get an ID badge like it's comic con?#the last pride march I attended there were about 5000 people and no one was being kicked out for having a straight girlfriend#no one gave a shat about the cops standing on the sidelines looking on with boredom or mild bemusement
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twitterinas have taken a brave stance against the highest form of misogyny in our society which literally kills millions of women yearly: lesbians headcanoning the girl in a m-m-f trio as a lesbian
#I GET WHY UNDER SOME CIRCUMSTANCES THIS COULD BE KINDA CRINGE so dont patronize me#but i cant take hate towards these hcs seriously when a reylo shipper does it. what makes you think your tastes are any better#maybe some fem characters could actually benefit from going to a dyke bar every now and then#instead of being stuck in a dynamic thats just adam sandler gender roles trying to be girlboss feminist#guess im getting tossed in a meat grinder for making leaf a lesbo
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tme doesnt even mean anything anymore, it’s just another word for afab
#i see so many people just use tme as a substitute for afab or transmasc and tma as a substitute for amab or transfem and it makes no sense#non-transfeminine people aren’t immediately exempt from transmisogyny in the same way that transfeminine people aren’t#immediately exempt from transmisandry#transmisogyny and transmisandry can affect literally anyone#honestly i don’t see use in labeling people as tme or tma because they aren’t really inherent things.#i’ve speedrun getting discriminated against for being percieved as both transfem and transmasc within the same day#and i’m a perisex trans guy#anyone who doesn’t perfectly perform their gender is subject to transphobia#insert that ‘actually me and my girlfriend are both bi so we aren’t dykes/so sorry have a gay day! ^_^’ tweet here#id expect trans people especially to get that gender and gender-based discrimination cant be boiled down to a couple three-letter acronyms#but maybe i was a little too hopeful
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....
#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space#like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else#other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh#to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn#i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding#and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt#unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow#and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation#abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol#and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever#and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress#i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes#like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up#a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl#ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs#im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo#.diaries#zzzzz
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can i say something. i think non-penetrative sex is more intimate
#maybe its the dyke in me. whatever#i dont really have the werewithall to explain myself well. writing this at 2am#but its something like. its about giving. only one person is on the receiving end of it#and either you are caught up completely in someone else. or you are being known so deeply from the inside out#i need to sleep#just having thoughts. and feelings
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i cant describe it but people just putting meryl and milly in the background of vashwood instead of just putting them front and centre in their own piece genuinely feels like im being cucked like why did u even bother
like damn maybe id like the ship more if people didnt just go "theyr so cute and soft and married aahhh so so gentle and femme and girly theyr so cyute" then the only time they draw them is like. idfk them walking in on vash and wolfwood fucking eachothers brains out like god. all talk.
#i think its the only reason i dont like the pairing like. i like them theyr cute but. idk for me theyr not romantic#and its like. really annoying when people just say they ship them but its just lip service bc they rlly wanna pretend they care#but the truth is is that ive seen maybe 3 people put milly/meryl front and centre in their own dedicated art#and it was good#ppl just dont know what to do w them#not that i do either but hey at least i dont claim to ship them#listen im not tryin 2 dictate or anything#but fr it annoys me sm when people pretend to ship them to either go 'see? i do care about women!!! (lie)' or to get them 'out of the way'#DONT SAY U SHIP THEM IF U DONTTTT FUCK STOP PRETENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#id rather u just leave them out of it like genuinely its such an insult to their characters like god#even nightow doesnt shove them to the back this much and they werent present for like 30 chapters at one point#BECAUSE HE KNEW IT WOULD BE MORE IMPACTFUL TO BRING THEM BACK IN SOME BIG REVEAL AND GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO DO#bc he respected his characters enough to not have them just bumble about in the background doing fuckall while he figured them out#so they were temporarily removed from the plot and them coming back and being Ready 2 Fucken Go was powerful it was so cool#please just respect these girls ffs stop having them be the Background Cardboard Cutout Dykes#so so so so so so annoying 2 me as a meryl and milly lover#rbs off i dont wanna start discourse#also ive talked abt this before
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i look for irl friends everywhere but its always. my fucking coworkers. like inevitably the place im gonna find my best friends isnt gonna be through school or hobbies its the other ppl who are also working alongside me for just above minimum wage.
#idk if its the minimum wage thing or the job field im in. maybe something about a kitchen job just attracts the coolest ppl ever#either way kind of hate that development of my social life is always dependent on like. having to work for money#but it kinda selects for ppl i can get along w ig. like dawg i just cannot be friends w rich ppl#never could relate to like. the stereotype of highschool rich bullies who make fun of u for being weird an poor cuz like#most ppl at my highschool were also pretty poor but. kind of feel like im encountering that in my adult life#like either theyre stuck up an dont wanna interact w me at all#or im like. trying to connect w someone who thinks its normal that both their parents own a tesla#having friends who are like. poor or who were also in foster care is kind of more important to me#than having other friends who are queer i realized#like. i just have more in common w someone raised by their grandparents who isnt that familiar w queer culture#than i do w someone immersed in the culture whos parents make 100k#but i mean now i sorta have both im no longer the only queer in the kitchen#my boss is like the most badass dykiest dyke ive ever seen#i mean im gonna keep trying to find non-worker friends though. my boss told me i should go to a gay bar skfhjgsdj
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Apparently the scene you get with Shadowheart if you get her approval all the way up and then tell her you want to get to spend time with her is the same one you're supposed to get at the tiefling party, which means if you trigger it early you may not get any scene with her at the party at all. This made things pretty confusing when I showed up expecting to advance my romance with her and instead she just gave me some generic "lol wine is good huh" dialogue meanwhile every other companion* BUT her was actively trying to jump my bones... Literally just had to beat everyone else off of my Tav with a stick and then go to bed alone 😔
*Except Lae'zel, who instead went on an unprompted rant about how she knew I wanted to fuck her sooo bad but I had Pissed Her Off by making her be Nice to People so now she would NEVER allow me the pleasure of having crazy hot githyanki sex with her. (She propositioned me a few days later anyways)
#i seem to have accidentally started a romance with lae'zel astarion AND gale in addition to shadowheart 😭#like the next day i had a notice to talk with astarion and it was the scene where hes talking about not being able to see his reflection#and it was literally like dodging fucking bullets trying to pick an option that wasnt flirting#i ended up having to pick some mean dialogue that was like 'maybe its for the best youre not exactly aging gracefully'#bc the ONLY other two options were like 'tell him you think hes beautiful' and 'gaze lovingly into his eyes' or some shit#and i was like '...okay im picking the mean one but i mean it as a joke. maybe it can be a joke' and i picked it an he was all horrified#but then the next dialogue gave me an option to say 'lol im just kidding' and i was like PHEW#but then he just went back to being fucking flirty again and was like 'really~ well then tell me what you like about me the most' or smth#and i was like FUCK. NO#but then the next dialogue tree in addition to having the normal flirty options had three additional options#that were like 'youre fine. but lae'zel/gale/shadowheart? now theres real beauty'#and i was like. fuckin. OKAY#ill wonder wtf those other two are doing there later but for now ill pick the one where i tell him in interested in shadowheart#so i picked that option and this bitch fucking APPROVED. told me he was going to have to work harder to keep up with his competition#like SIR. what do you MEAN competition. i let you bite me ONE time bc you said you were dying of thirst and i wanted to help a bro out#and then the next morning i immediately told you i didnt like it and i never wanted it to happen again#what do you mean competition dude you arent even on my radar 😭 im a DYKE#and why were lae'zel and gale there as options too??#the next night i got gales weave scene where he shows my character how to use magic#(my tav was pretty unimpressed as a fellow mage tbh but hes my friend and i was being polite)#and when i clicked the option to clearly say at the end that i was not interested in having an intimate moment with gale#he got all misty eyed and was like 'oh how quickly these moments fade away...'#like bro the moment didnt fade away i politely shut it down on purpose bc im not interested. what are you talking about#and THEN i got lae'zel trying to fuck me and when i turned her down she gave me the exact same dialogue#about how i would miss out on having hot githyanki sex with her. AGAIN#yall im JUST trying to romance shadowheart 😭 leave me alone#if anyone else is gonna try to trap me into flirting with them then at least let it be karlach next time please 😭🙏#(ill come back for lae'zel on another playthrough bc being between her and shadowheart sounds like a safety hazard tbh)#rambling
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its always confusing to me when im out with ren and ppl greet us both as ladies like i know i look like a cis alt girl to most people but ren is just some guy for the most part so its like ??? what r u reading on him that u can tell he doesnt have a penis ???? but my running theory is that when i dress up really cute and transtrender-coded ppl look at me and theyre like "oh thats definitely a lesbian. so that other thing cant possibly be its boyfriend. this is lesbians im looking at."
#im okay being guydykes i think#Weird Queer lesbians make me a lot more comfortable being seen and interpreted as a lesbian#even if most people dont see me as Not A Girl BC they see me as a lesbian#transmale lesbians and bi lesbians and multigender lesbians and really just#anyone who really really blurs the edges of the hard definitions other queers try to force on us#those people existing make me feel so so SO much better abt it yknow?#like neither of us are dykes in any easily-understood or Traditional Girl way but#i can be guydykes#im alright with that#also like its funny being online and seeing people constantlyyyyy talking abt skinny white transmascs who pass well bc like passing is cond#tional at BEST lmfao#'passing privilege' go outside w one of these tboys and get called slurs and maybe then you will see#doubtful but still it seems like u could maybe use a reality check#🕷❣
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btw just in case i seem callous abt the whole dating situation i was just being rather swoony over (god forbid i try to romanticize this bleak ass life) i want to bring up that this person made me carry a heavy fuckin camera case which. did not care to do that. and then sat while i tried to figure out how the fuck to put the rig and everything together and like. once again did not care to be fucking around with it that was honestly just soo irritating. like they were trying to just have one little moment of feeling better abt themselves lmao maybe im being evil idk and then also they brought up their ex for the zillionth time bc apparently all of their hobbies are tied up w her. shocker. anyway i think they think they can fix me
#and also now that several of the dykes have discussed i do think it's weird that they so avoid saying lesbian#esp for themself. which is like fine u dont have to id as anything. but like u know the vibe when someone just... yeah idk.#abby talks#and also i was so clear about not wanting anything serious being too busy rn not wanting to string them along when thats not smth im#focused on. and i think theyre just going to hold out hope ill change my mind even tho i already like said what i felt#which is ALSO pissing me off cause then on the other hand i felt sooooooo bad last night. and for what#communicating my feelings? sorry it was a bit abrupt but bitch you are not in love with me u dont know me. UGH!#WHERE is dyke grindr maybe i just need to take a chance out there..
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Has anyone else noticed an uptick in blank blogs sending homo/transphobic shit and telling lgbts to kill themselves?? Bc I have. I've had 2 pull that shit now. And it's fucking wild bc then they'll post screenshot of the person they harassed telling them to fuck off or whatever, cross out what they said and try to make it look like the victim is harassing them. It's so absurd like get a fucking hobby
#butch speaks#im done being nice about it too. im just going to start telling them to die and the blocking them.#idc anymore#maybe im just in a bad mood bc of my car but#no more mr nice dyke
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. (tw heterosexuality)
#i am having the worst sexuality crisis of my life. i was so sure i was a lesbian but there is this One Guy..#he makes me feel things. i think. but i cant categorize them#relationships w men sound.. unappealing.. if i think about it generally#like a random man? sounds weird. or maybe not. i dont know. i havent even had a first kiss lmao i dont really know stuff#but him............oh...........hes so funny and cool and nice to everyone. his hands are pretty (weird thing to notice but ok)#he explains math to me and i cant focus because he's too close. thats so MORTIFYING I THOUGHT I WAS A DYKE#but at the same time 12 year old me was having heart palpitations around my first girl crush and shit#and he hasnt made me feel anything that strong so far. so. idk. but also i was 12. so idk#well okay generally speaking women make me feel much more doing way less#there was this occasion where this girl who i always had a mild thing for but never did anything about it just came up to me#at school#and just. haha lol i had a dream about you last night ;)#i am not joking when i say i felt weak in the knees. she was smiling in a like playful way so i was gonna make a joke but i could not#because i was going to pass out from being too gay#this guy (or any other guy for that matter) doesn't seem to have the power to make me feel like that#..........am i bisexual with a female lean or whatever people say. or am i experiencinf the worst case of comphet of my life#this is awful. not because i don't wanna like men (its just sexuality idc) but because i don't want to prove my mom right#😭what if it WAS a phase#but who knows. mentioning the girl who dreamt about me kind of replaced the thoughts i was having of him for a bit there#i miss her she was nice. well sort of. but i was never involved in the drama so who cares fr. she graduated last year#anyways sorry for breaking character. tumblr user kaeyapilled is lore dropping
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