#maybe pt2??????

[wasyago]

some hermits in dresses

[elssbethtascioni]

favorite c.c. babcock outfits → season 4 (pt.2)

[iid-smile]

difficult things

sakura, nirei, suo, sugishita, kaji

if you were dating them series

sakura hakura | feeling comfortable around you

it's extremely frustrating trying to get him to open up to you more. he feels the need to look tougher, to protect you more while telling others to back off, but he misses the sole purpose of the relationship; love. sakura avoids you more when you're dating, more than when the two of you were in the talking phase. might be from embarrassment, might be from hesitance. he doesn't say that you're his partner, but something along the lines of "i find them nice...", which makes no sense at all. everyone that sakura knows is nice to him (a few exceptions here and there), so does he really bunch you up with the rest of them?

nirei akihiko | getting over his insecurities

whenever he talks about himself, most times out of ten it's something negative. it doesn't matter how many times you reassure, comfort or encourage him, because nirei doesn't feel like he's good enough for you. it's not that he avoids you per se, but he hides, he puts you in the spotlight, but doesn't join alongside you, so you feel more lonely than anything. he can be early to dates, but he also skips them without telling you or with a poor excuse. it's genuinely off-putting how much he degrades and insults himself, to the point where you don't even know what to say to make him feel better.

suo hayato | saying the truth

suo is a natural pathological liar, as well as lying just to save face. you would never genuinely know if he's covering something behind his eyepatch or not, because he just doesn't want to tell you, injury or not. he'll joke, tease, do everything but tell you that perhaps he's just not comfortable with showing you. and if he did, you'd be totally okay with that. the way he thinks contradicts how he acts, and he picks out all of the things he doesn't like about you and can be so judgmental about it. if you ask, he won't say. one of his values is to keep up his facade, no matter how free or secure he feels around you. nobody knows the real him, except himself. he's loyal, but not honest.

sugishita kyotaro | admitting his mistakes

he loves and admires you to bits, but to be 'sorry' is a way of saying that he has done wrong to you, and he doesn't like that. not because he's narcissistic and petty, but because he doesn't want to believe that he's hurt you in some way. his way of an apology is silently lingering around you or staring at you until you eventually forgive him. at first, it's cute, but when this happens every time, even when it's a major issue, it makes you frustrated. sugishita finds it hard to talk, and communication isn't his strong point. the two of you could go for months in radio silence, and he won't explain anything to you soley because he doesn't know what to say. he doesn't like to be guilty around those he thinks highly of.

kaji ren | ignorance and bluntness

kaji hasn't yet realised that you think and function completely in a different way to him. he's not used to having to soften up, lighten up his tone and be more gentle. in fact, he doesn't realise that somebody loves should be somebody he treats in a special way and not like the rest. kaji should be adjusting to you, just how you adjusted for him. he talks to you as if you're stupid or as if you lack common sense, and he unknowingly belittles you for every mistake you make, more when you hurt or injure yourself in some way. his affection shows through actions, but still it's not anything sweet, not anything you'd expect from a boyfriend. a lot of the time, he manages to look over you and your needs, and needs a reminder from someone else to check up on you.

[idyllcy]

couple tiktoks with the robins

Word count: ~ 700

Summary: cheesy tiktok trends with the robins :3

𓅫. "Heard you're looking for a boyfriend" - Tim Drake

"'kay, just," you show Tim the tiktok, fingers laced together, practically begging him to do the tiktok with you. Tim grimaces, but it's minimal effort, so he listens. He stands to the side as the audio plays from your shared airpods, waiting for you to move the camera to the side. He hates to admit it, but as he steps next to you to lean on the mirror, raising a brow with a mask on and your eyes light up, his breath catches in his throat. You're always so pretty— too pretty. You're always so pretty. And god, if doing couple trends meant that you'd stare at him like that, then he'd do all of them with you. (Though, he has to make sure none of his friends finds out about them. The embarrassment would eat him alive) Tim waits for you to stop recording, the noise going off in his ear as he steps next to you, staring at the tiktok. He looks just as lovesick as you. "Aww, you're supposed to look a little intimidating." You mumble quietly. "You're looking at me too cheesily" "You look too excited too." Tim sticks his tongue out at you, pointing at the way your pupils were blown wide. "Maybe we're both just lovesick fools." Tim doesn't see a problem with that.

𓅫. "she is the best thing that's ever been mine" - Jason Todd

"I know this is a trend for sapphics but please please please PLEASE—" You beg. "The only photos I'd be able to put are the ugly ones of you." Jason rolls his eyes. "No." "But you have a whole album of—" "No." You pout, jutting out your bottom lip at Jason as he wavers slightly. He doesn't even have capcut downloaded. He doesn't want to download it. It's just a silly tiktok trend, and sure you're obsessed with showing him off on your private social media, but there was no way he was posting you on his accounts. You grumble, going back to scrolling through your phone, typing on it, and Jason assumes that you're complaining to your friends about how he won't do the trend. He goes back to his own phone, putting his airpod back on, a video playing. You could complain all you want— He wasn't doing it. Yet, the recently deleted app on his phone and the newly downloaded video on his hidden album suggest anything but. Stupid. It's in his drafts. (Not that he'd tell you.)

𓅫. "Oh, I can't stop singing" - Damian Wayne

"Stay still." You set your phone on the table as you squish onto Damian's lap, and he raises a brow at you, setting his pencil down. He notices your phone recording, and you pull out your lipstick. Damian pauses. He knows this audio. He's pretty sure one of his classmates was showing him it a while ago. You draw half a heart onto your cheek, pressing your cheek to his affectionately, warmth pressed to Damian's cheeks, leaving the mark of a heart... no you drew the half the wrong way. You pause, the mistake registering in your head as the audio continues playing. "Habibbti, I don't think—" You burst into laughter at the accident, hiding your face in his collar, kicking your legs in embarrassment. Damian purses his lips in amusement with you, running his hand down your back soothingly while shaking slightly. That was funny. "Sorry for messing up and making you pause." You stop laughing after a while. Damian smiles, shaking his head, reaching for a wet wipe on his desk. "Would you like to try again?" Who are you to say no?

𓅫. "stay with me, I don't want you to leave" -Dick Grayson

"Okay, so—" "I'm in." Dick gives you two thumbs up. "I recognize this audio." "I really can't surprise you with any couple trend, huh?" You laugh. "Sweetheart, I'm on Tiktok more than you." Dick smiles, handing you your lipstick. You pout, taking it anyway, peppering Dick's face with kisses before the lipstick dries, smudging some of the kisses, letting the others look fine on their own on others. Dick presses kisses back to your skin while you reapply the lipstick, some of the red on his lips getting on yours, causing you to pout. He was getting you red too. You finish, eventually. (Dick's face is practically a red mess from both you and the lipstick) You step to the side to wipe the lipstick he got onto your face, setting up your phone and starting the tiktok. Dick stares at you the whole time, eyes gentle, sick with an affection reserved for only you, lips pulled into a foolish smile. You pout when you ruin your lipstick, only for Dick to reach for your chin, the phone panning to his face, a mess of red on his face, a stupid smile on his face, eyes crinkled, holding all of the love in the world for you and only you. (and god do you melt at the sight)

[wolfsmeat]

an attempt at flirting, or something?

[givemeureyes]

nothing brings me more joy in life than juno steel’s “what.”. he never asks it. it’s always so exasperated but also deadpan. i need to hear it once per episode

[diary-ofamadwoman]

chapter 112

hi I'm back with some fyolai thoughts (Sept 20th feels like yesterday and I was definitely not ready to see the manga version...)

first of all, where's Nikolai's hand? there are two panels of him with The Overcoat hiding his entire arm, which cannot be a coincidence. Also, as we know, he's strong enough to support his own body weight with just one arm, and Fyodor looks a lot lighter than him

"Is that so?"

i have a feeling this is not a regular question. Nikolai is known to use quizzes, rhetorical questions, or in short - there's always hidden meaning. when I first read it, I imagined Gogol saying it in a sarcastic tone, albeit a bit more dejected than usual

when I watched ep 11, it seemed to me that the reasons for Gogol's sadness could be his freedom (to kill Fyodor himself; to use him to achieve his freedom) having been taken away from him, or losing his closest person without being able to do anything, and so on

but seeing the same events unfold in the manga, I cannot help but think that he's downcast because of how unpredictable the vampire's (as well as Dazai and Chuuya's) action were and how fast everything happened, Nikolai had just been talking to Fyodor and the next moment the latter's gone...

or not? given the two panels of Nikolai's hidden arm, perhaps he was able to save his friend this time (in case the theory that the different BSD media are alternate universes turns out to be true). Anyway, Nikolai saving Fyodor here seems more plausible in the manga, as well as Nikolai's hesitation more understandable (if Fyodor's nearby, would Nikolai want to admit out loud he doesn't actually want Fyodor dead?)

it might be just the translation but this was more heartbreaking than I remember it:

there's difference between "My life since I met him felt nothing like it did prior" and "The moment I met him I knew that my life had become something entirely different"

I know that I just talked about Nikolai admitting his feelings (if Fyodor can hear him) but it makes sense here. His hesitation is admitting his current emotions, something that affects the present/future, while the second situation is related to the past - something that Fyodor certainly already knows

perhaps this depends on the translation too but from what I've seen the ending of Nikolai's speech is also slightly different

"Fyodor was right. I fought so I can lose sight of myself. Now I..."

"It's just as he said. I had begun fighting in order to lose myself. And now... look what's happened... Now all I want is just..."

or in other words, Nikolai didn't lose himself, he lost Fyodor

[urmomgoodwoman]

Thirty Seconds To Mars - Hurricane

[vsyrworld]

get to know my favorite driver's ship

this was made by me and for me and i wrote fanfic about them!!!

(fyi; i started watching f1 in 2015 so ofc you guys KNOW what my FIRST and ULTIMATE ship)

(older f1 ships: )

Brocedes :D (childhood friends, teammates, rivals, anything but a lover - crofty 2021)

OH COME ON. I will write an essay about their history. BUT ANYWAY, despite their toxic year in 2015/2016, I still adore how young nico and lewis friendship or whatever they had in Greece back then and I still keep this ship alive until the 2021 season. Their battle on the track was BEYOND TOXIC, yet their battle off the track (media drama) is HILLAARIOUS. How come Lewis accidentally spills out, the name that shouldn't be spoken for Half of DECADE. God both of them are dramas king. NICO PODCAST omg the talk with Alain prost and they compared his vs Senna battle with HIS AND Lewis's battle PLUS when Nico's storytelling his "friendship" history in ITALY at the SPONSOR EVENTS *CRIED* and lewis always mentioned how he loves ice cream and do cheating day in imola and monza BECAUSE IT WAS NICO WHO INTRODUCE THE FOOD THERE. ugh I hate and love them at the same time. (I do include some Seb/NICO too because I like see Lewis getting rilled up)

2. Kimi and Seb (I ADORE THIS A LOT)

my calm and serenity wise iconic ferrari couple. I feel like Kimi was the rock ice and water for Seb to prevent him from burnout because of ferrari. during 2017-2018, Seb pushed hard (same like Charles) and yet the car reliability fuck his championship standing. and kimi (--kimi was the last ferrari champion hiks) kimi just so attentive to seb and I genuinely like both of them being rebels to whole ferrari tradition (like they don't do rollercoaster thingy, they DON'T master Italian, they just become their self and being so comfortable in their own bubble, fuck world). I had noticed also Seb (and Gio) is the only teammate that can make Kimi laugh. I just super super adore them!

3. Maxiel (TRADITIONALSHIP! I REFUSE OTHER SHIP FOR MAX BESIDE DANIEL. I REFUSE!)

ugh should I explain them? THE CHAOTIC GAYEST ENERGY IN WHOLEEE 2016 GRIDS COME ON. I love how Daniel basically took young rookie Max under his arm and just had fun on and off the track with It? The biggest flop was when Max was just so hotheaded and they crashed in Baku. I thought their relationship gonna be stranded but GUESS WHAT? MAXIEL IS STILL ALIVE UNTIL NOW HELLO? and their relationship is so real not only for the camera but also out the camera. The other highlight moment is when Max is already 'too big' daniel really steps down from RBR because he knows, Max will outshine him, and he knows (what he learned from brocedes too) that it's better to go the other way.

(newer)

4. Dando (COMFORT SHIIP Not romantically also)

I thought daniel was max soulmate but LANDO excuse me? They can share daniel If they want. i just love how lando becomes so silly and blushes like school teenager around Daniel. i love how they INFLUENCE each other. I think because I feel nostalgic with them because they really similar with Maxiel in 2017 era, just one season before Daniel goes to renault, Maxiel was strained on thin paper. Dando other hands, well Daniel mostly, struggled in McLaren (with the papaya fans also still adore Carlos that time and refuse to let go him) plus Lando was shining bright just like Max 2016. Again, daniel he stepped OUT (this time). I guess, that similarity made me miss maxiel too.

5. last one C2 (Charlos) gosh, please!! ultimate!!!

loving and adoring them was expected though. It wasn't because they're both handsome (I already know Carlos was goofy ever since his Renault era so I never consider him as a handsome man) BUT DANG BOY, RED ON CARLOS WAS SOMETHING ELSE? RED ON CARLOS, BLACK ON CARLOS WAS SAKDAJSKDFHLKJSAFHKJAF.

-- okay back to the c2. It was a slow build okay? I realized that they are special during Carlos's first podium, Monaco 2021. Charles WAS LIKE ME. Blushing giggling, shy gazes toward Carlos. they are so endearing. Both of them are the victims of the Ferrari team. But I think they both understand each burden (Charles being the predestinated one, and Carlos had to prove his talent bcs he is a two times world champion son) plus, the way Ferrari screwed Charles in 2019. The team was cracked but with Carlos, I didn't expect this cursed team is heal :"D (Crying) and Charles become more relaxed, more enjoyed, even his coping mechanism is with laughter and Carlos just matches his energy. Idk , they gave me... a relationship through ups and downs.

and I realized there are so many people trying to pit them against each other, their fans are constantly arguing about who is the best and better driver, always dragging one of them down, but guess what is Carlos and Charles's response? it's completely differs from real life. They knew and fucking see it their fans tension. Carlos's anger to the Spanish media has already proven enough he had enough of these things. Charles also said in an interview that "what he saw about him and Carlos is nowhere true". they are the best PR relationship couple out there, but I also can see a genuine, how they know each other so weell. How Charles kept the football game updated just because of Carlos, how Carlos knows his favorite food, how they had their own internal jokes,

they are both soo lowkey on the camera during and outside the race. and I think that Is why people never hype them like carlando or everyone's favorite childhood rival to lovers lesttapen. And I thought they didn't really hang out with each other that much but WHAT WAS THAT SUMMER BREAK? HUH? YOU IN MALORCA AND WENT TO SOUTHERN FRENCH? What were the matching Instagram feeds color and aesthetic at New York? WHAT WAS THE THING ABOUT PASTA CARBONARA UN LUNGA NON PENNE? WHAT WAS THAT THING CHARLES SLEPT ON THE FLOOR just to accompany Carlos watching World Cup? The dolomites? The Sardinia?

there are soo many thing that they keep it so low-profile and under camera, and yet their conversation is so domestic.

[sea-jello]

i knew cole had kids but i didn’t know he was gonna pull up with a whole FAMILY complete with a TEENAGE DAUGHTER and a HUSBAND

[ambeauty]

Just finished watching Chef and I want a SydCarmy second chance romance where they are coparents and divorced. Syd’s rich and managing a food empire (a la Rachel Ray or some shit) and Carmy’s just a divorcee trying to find his love for cooking again since his soulmate partner left him and she takes pity on him because she sees how it’s affecting their child and through an adventure Carmy finds love for food, a new appreciation for fatherhood, and Sydney. Sydney falls back in love with him because she sees the initial passion she fell in love with at The Beef all those years ago.

Idk I just think it’d be really cute 🥹🥹🥹

[godnectar]

Don't be shy, give us more yandere dildo pls :(((

don't be shy, give me more ideas for yandere "dildo" pls :(((

[elexnorislingtxn]

new plot ??? maybe ????

[rvstyartstar]

The new adventures of lucky luke but I added unnecessary censorship, enjoy :

i think I'm hilarious for this but please don't think less of me for this

(Ignore if it's not that well edited)

[benetnvsch]

Did the bsd chapter come out yet or am I just seeing wild leaks

[jjkeremika]

Planted a garden full of lavender and called it home

description: eren helps out at his parents’ clinic. mikasa brings her sick mother to the clinic one day.

pairing: eren jaeger x mikasa ackerman, eremika (aot/snk)

disclaimer/warning(s)?: lowercase; alternate universe; third person but moreso from eren's pov; grisha and carla run a medical clinic; mikasa’s mother is sick; profanity

inspiration: “They say lavender softens anxiety / and i wonder whether i can plant a garden / so dense in your mind / that the knots in your chest unravel / and never tighten again” - jasmin kaur

it was a slow day—a very, very slow day. usually a few patients trickled in throughout, some for walk-in ailments and injuries and others for scheduled appointments, but they must’ve cured everyone yesterday considering how empty it was today.

eren rolled his eyes and groaned from boredom, standing from the uncomfortable chair and stretching. “this is soo booring,” he exhaled to the empty room, rubbing at his eyes, talking to himself to stay awake.

he debated asking his mother if he could leave for the day, or asking his father if he could take his lunch break early. ultimately, he decided against it. boredom was infinitely better than ear-aching lectures on responsibility and commitment and yada yada... he usually stopped listening by that point.

eren left the office and entered the bathroom, splashing some water on his hands and face to wake him up, stimulate his brain a little. he checked his hair in the mirror before leaving and headed straight to the record player in the waiting area.

the record player was ancient, given to him by his father who got it from his father’s father, or something like that (he wasn’t really listening at the time); which meant it was old. Old old; which meant it was even more satisfying when eren and armin finally restored it, having spent months working with armin’s grandfather and asking countless questions to the sick engineers in the waiting room.

his mood lifted as he searched through the old records, pausing to see if any patients had dropped off any unwanted vinyls. just one: “The Founder and Found? the hell is that?” eren flipped to the back of the protective sleeve, scanning the list of songs. “looming giants… us against the world… a rumbling sea separates you and me… pigs released? what the fuck are these songs?” he chortled when he asked the question to himself, finding the record bizarre and amusing.

he tucked the record under his arm. “damn, i have to show this to armin late—oh, shit.” eren heard light voices from outside the glass and stood up, rushing back to the desk right as he heard the door crack open.

he sat down and placed the record to the side, was logging back into his computer when the voices became clearer and louder.

“honestly, miki, im healing,” one woman managed out through interspersed coughs, her arm wrapped around the arm of the person eren assumed to be ‘miki.’ “i’ll be better soon.”

“yes, mum, you will,” the younger woman responded plainly, trying to lead her mother to the chair, “because the doctor is going to heal you.” eren finally looked over and his stomach leapt. “now, i’m going to sign you in, okay?”

“honey, no,” the woman tried to grab her daughter’s arm, but she easily brushed it off and walked towards eren.

“good morning,” she greeted nonchalantly, out of formality more than anything else, “this is dr jaeger’s clinic, right?”

eren didn’t answer. he stared at her silently, admiring her features and noticing that she didn’t smile.

she lifted her eyebrow in confusion, opened her mouth like she was going to say something, before closing it and peaking around her.

a light heat rushed through him and he became increasingly aware of his own self. he sat upright and smiled. “i, uh, sorry, i…” he cleared his throat, ignoring that his insides were flipping with embarrassment at his stutter, “yes, this is dr jaeger’s clinic. are you a new patient here?” she had to be; he's never seen her before.

“kind of?” she replied, “my mother was a patient of his before he moved here.” eren glanced to her mother then back to her.

“i, uh, we really only have, um,” he closed his eyes and took a breath, telling himself to get it together. why was he so awkward today? he continued, “we only have patient files from after the relocation.” eren found it easier to focus on the sick mother than the woman in front of him, “i can register her easily right now if—”

the pretty woman interrupted, and eren felt his stomach flip, “if you could just tell him the name ackerman, he’ll know who that is.”

eren noticed that his toes were clenching and digging into his shoes a little. he stopped himself before he bit his cheek.

the thing is, eren’s an independent guy. he likes to make his own decisions, to be free from control; often got into some trouble academically and socially because of it. and so, naturally, the only thing eren hated more than being interrupted, was people telling him what to do.

he stood up from his chair and met the younger woman’s fierce stare, felt a light tingle down his spine. “yeah, i’ll go tell him now,” he told her before exiting the office to the medical area, only now noticing his racing heart beat.

maybe pretty women who don’t smile can tell him what to do.

****************

he brought the vinyl to armin's house after he left the clinic, his mind still hung up on the nameless girl with an ill mother from this morning.

armin was outside helping his grandfather harvest their garden when eren mindlessly arrived, lost in thoughts about why this random person he'd never met before made him so nervous, why he cared so much about whether she smiled at him or not. armin waved and called out eren's name and eren snapped back to reality.

"hey," he casually greeted as armin walked to the fence, "check out this record." armin's lips flattened into a straight line. always straight to the point.

armin took the record from him as he waved to armin's grandfather from across the yard. as he glanced it over, eren debated telling his friend about the patient's daughter.

he laughed while reading some of the names. "weird. is that from the clinic?" eren nodded. "did you want to come in and listen to it?" armin handed the record back and pointed over his shoulder to his house.

eren shook his hand to refuse the vinyl. "nah, i have to get home. my dad's showing me some of his old medical notes," eren explained, "thanks, though."

they bid farewell and turned around. a tiny smile formed on eren's face as the image of the pretty girl reappeared in his head and his abdomen fluttered. eren slowed to a stop. he could turn around right now and just ask if armin had ever felt like that before, if he'd understand, if he'd know what it means.

"everyone makes armin nervous," he muttered to himself and walked home.

****************

eren yawned deeply as he unlocked the clinic doors and turned the overhead lights on. grisha asked him late last night if he could open before sunrise with him the next morning for an important patient. eren had checked the clock (midnight, go figure), sighed and nodded in agreement, and decided to go to bed.

he was a little annoyed, because, well, how was he supposed to say no to that?

he was scrolling on his phone, trying to keep himself awake because he’d disliked the taste of teas since he was young, when he perked up to the noise of the bell ring as the door opened.

the bell was immediately drowned out by a cough, and he recognized the older woman as the same one from yesterday even with the face mask.

a lump formed in his throat when his eyes trailed to the young woman next to her.

“good,” cough, “morn—” cough.

“mum, it’s okay,” the raven-haired woman soothed, very gently rubbing her mother’s back, “don’t strain yourself.” he couldn't explain the jump in his heart rate.

eren opened his mouth to greet them, was about to stand to help, when grisha entered from the back room, having immediately heard the chatter. "mikasa, you can bring her right in,” he borderline ordered, stepping to the side and holding the door open.

mikasa and her mother slowly made their way to the patient room, where dr jaeger and her mother then shooed her back to the waiting area for privacy.

“Keep my son company,” grisha told her, sharply punctuated by the door closing.

mikasa stood awkwardly and gazed around the hallway, then walked through the open office door. eren jumped in his seat at her sudden arrival.

“may i sit here?” the pretty girl asked, to which eren immediately shook his head and said, “no.”

“oh, okay, i’ll go wait out there,” she replied, looking like it didn't bother her either way.

“wait, wait, no, sorry, yeah, you can,” he followed sheepishly, reaching his hand out like he were going to stop her from leaving before pulling it back in confusion at the brazen, odd action, “i thought you were going to ask if i minded,” he explained, feeling his stomach drop and his temperature flare, “which i don’t.”

she nodded a couple times curiously, but still sat down. “you’re dr jaeger’s son?” she asked so firmly that eren wondered if it was a question or a statement. he wondered if he should wait for her to continue.

he nodded anyway, just in case. “yeah.” he shifted in the chair. he mentally chastised himself for losing his composure. he's eren fucking jaeger. he doesn't get nervous. “have been my whole life,” he joked, chuckling awkwardly before stopping once he noticed her lips didn’t waver. she didn’t say anything. he looked to his lap. “i, um—”

“how long have you been working with him?” she brushed the hair off her shoulder and leaned into the chair, crossing her arms and resting one thigh over the other.

he was slightly taken aback by the sudden question, and felt his stomach flutter at her attention on him. and then his eyes were trailing from the floor, up her legs restricted in fitted jeans to her shapely hips to her tight shirt and rounded shoulders and lick-able collarbones an--wait, what?

"are you okay?" mikasa interrupted his onslaught of thoughts, one eyebrow lifted, no emotion in her eyes. his gaze lingered on her collarbones before blushing and sitting upright.

"yeah, yeah, sorry," he apologized, rubbing his forehead, "it's early," he chuckled, which was not reciprocated. she nodded slowly. "ive been here since the relocation," he answered, returning to the conversation. "how long have you known my father?"

“he used to travel to us every couple months. my mother’s been sick for a while now,” she answered, her shoulders dropping slightly.

he felt the urge to reach out and offer his hand, provide some form of comfort. “so, your names mikasa, right?” he changed the subject instead. she nodded. pretty name. “i’m eren.” he gave her a tiny wave. pretty girl.

“it’s nice to meet you, eren.” the smile spread on his face before he could stop it. the flutter demanded his attention. he never particularly cared for his name, but he liked the way it sounded on her tongue.

“it’s nice to meet you, too, mikasa,” he smoothly replied, beaming internally at the slight curve at the edge of her lips.

***************

the next day, after the clinic closed, grisha and carla asked eren to join them to a house call, citing something about how he should be there to learn and they could use an extra hand. he doesn’t know. he wasn’t really listening. it’s not like he had anything else to do anyway.

what they didn’t tell him was how far away and how long this house call was. a two hour train ride into the city, a bus to a different district, a thirty minute walk.

it was when the door opened at the small house that he understood why they’d come this way.

mikasa welcomed them inside and informed grisha and carla of her mother’s status and location. the two set off immediately, like they’d been here before, leaving mikasa alone with eren.

he glanced over at her, refrained from looking below her chin. “hey, mikasa,” he said with a smile and a small wave.

“hi, eren,” she replied casually, emotionless.

he bit his lip and curled his toes to contain the giddy feeling rumbling through his chest at the sound of his name. “do you always go so far to come to the clinic?” he asked to keep her talking.

she nodded. “yes. we hadn’t seen dr jaeger since the relocation because of that, but then she got worse, and other doctors didn’t know what to do, so…” she trailed off, but the point was clear.

she glanced down, and he noticed her hand shaking when he followed her gaze, noticed her trying to soothe it with another shaky hand, hiding it under her cardigan.

eren suddenly remembered that: years and years ago, back when his father came home late and left early, talked with carla every evening about a woman who was miraculously hanging on. eren thought they'd moved because this patient had once improved.

yet her daughter now sat detached and fractured in front of him, and her mother sat dying in the other room.

eren’s stomach dropped like a feather tied to boulders. he wasn’t so great at this part, empathizing with and calming people when they were upset. he usually said the wrong things, and in the office he recited a script his mother created for consoling families of terminally ill patients.

but instead he thought of holding her hand or rubbing her arm, excusing the action by offering it to comfort her. instead, it was his turn to ask her: “are you okay?”

she didn’t reply, didn’t move, didn’t seem like she was even breathing. he took a step forward.

and she chortled, a fleeting smile and cut-off symphony, then nodded and dabbed at her eyes. which eren didn’t really get because he didn’t understand what was funny but he didn’t really care because she smiled and he’d never felt so captivated by a smile before.

“i’m okay,” she answered, still smiling, still looking at him, “thanks, eren.”

he felt warm and bubbly inside, like the heat was causing the water in his body to boil and evaporate.

he finally understood the intent behind the phrase when he said, “my pleasure,” because, for once, he meant it.

****************

grisha and eren returned to the ackerman house every day for a few days after that. grisha allowed eren to observe the tests and treatment administrations, explained the science and intricate mechanics behind each method and instrument, and eren finally understood why mikasa was forced out of the room each time.

eren stepped out and spoke with mikasa most days, trying to make her laugh, to take her mind away from the anxieties quaking her body.

the visits continued until grisha made the final call to admit her to the hospital. mikasa argued against it, her mother weakly chiming in, but ultimately, dr jaeger convinced them both it was for the best. carla referred mikasa to therapists and support groups, and everyone went home.

once she was admitted, eren didn’t see mikasa anymore. the trip there and back was long, and grisha received updates on patient status from correspondence with the hospital. so without the excuse of a sick patient, there wasn’t much reason to go to her house.

armin stopped by the clinic to help check patients in during one of the busier days. during one of the lulls around lunch, when eren convinced armin to do his own job so he could mess around with the vinyls, mikasa walked in.

eren spotted someone walking towards him from the corner of his eye, and a record slipped from the stack he was holding as soon as he recognized her.

he scrambled to catch it, and he did, flattened between his wrist and his thigh, at the sacrifice of the entire stack falling to the floor.

“mikasa, hey,” he greeted first, standing upright and waving the one record in his hand. he could feel the heat on his cheeks, but her breezy laugh massaged out the breath he held.

“hi, eren,” she said with a teeny smile, she looked down at the vinyls scattered around their feet, moved like she was about the crouch to arrange them.

"don't, uh. i'll take care of... it," eren followed sheepishly, stepping around the vinyls, closer to her. "what are you doing here? n-not that i mind, of course." eren could see armin hiding his face behind his hand. he felt more nervous with armin watching.

but eren relaxed a little when she giggled. “i won’t take up too much of your time. i just wanted to give you this.” he was so distracted by her that he didn’t even notice the plant in her hands. “i appreciate what your family did for mine.”

eren glanced down at the plant she’d placed into his palms. his heart rate picked up and his stomach flipped. she came all the way here for this? for him?

“i know it’s not much, but… we own a plant shop, so…” she trailed off and looked to the ground, her eyes dull, and he wondered if he should put the record and plant down and just hold her.

“how is she?” he asked, not moving. a diversion from the real question he wanted to ask.

“she’s… alive,” a quiet mumble, so quiet the noise of the other patients almost drowned it out. he noticed her hand shaking. he put the plant and vinyl down on an empty chair.

he was about to reach his hand out, to ask if she wanted company, to ask if she had someone to turn to. she spoke before he could. “anyway, i appreciate everything.”

and she turned around, halfheartedly waved goodbye and headed for the door. eren’s heart raced, his stomach dropped, he felt a mild panic. he didn’t want her to leave. she’d never come back. she came all the way to the clinic. alone.

“wait!” he exclaimed louder than intended, garnering the attention of everyone in the room. he lowered his voice, “i, uh,” he stepped after her, and she stopped once he spoke, “i don’t know how to take care of plants.” she stared at him blankly, if not sadly. a tainted reminder of when they first met. a blood stain on all the progress they’d made.

but his heart still raced the same. “can i call you?”

*****************

he called her that night, asking what kind of sunlight and water and nutrients it needed, asking multiple times what kind of plant it was and if she could spell it out for him.

there was never any annoyance or irritation in her voice, but he'd asked so many times that she eventually told him different answers to mess with him, to the point that he forgot the real ones.

he called mikasa again the next night, explaining that he was confused and forgot everything she’d told him. “do you have any more questions?”

his heart fluttered and his stomach dropped. he didn’t want this to end yet. “i, um, don’t have a watering can. or soil. or nutrients. or a pot, so… uh, can i come to your store sometime?”

he could only hear her soft steady breathing, and he could vividly picture her pretty face, staring at him with that newly found sparkle in her eyes, that budding smile on her lips.

“yeah,” she answered delicately, “that would be okay.”

*********************

eren had practically begged his older brother to cover his shift at the clinic. it took a lot of begging, but zeke finally relented.

zeke had no interest in following their father’s footsteps into medicine and made that explicitly clear to everyone that he would be living with his mother and baking breads and pastries instead. so, eren wagered one shift in exchange for buying three breads and four pastries, and giving zeke the shift’s earnings. he didn’t care what he had to do; he just needed it covered.

it was just past sunrise when he set out, and he carried one of the breads and two pastries to the location mikasa had told him about.

the long journey was more tumultuous in the early morning, the train and bus rides providing ample time and opportunity to sleep.

eren noticed her instantly when he was walking down the street. she was watering the plants outside the shop, an elephant-shaped watering can in her hands, when he approached with a meek smile.

“mikasa,” he started when he was still a few feet away, “hi.” he waved despite the now cold bags in his hands.

she glanced up and greeted him with a nod, “eren.” she stopped watering the plants, then gestured for him to follow her. he did wordlessly, admiring the vibrant green leaves and multicolored flowers on the tables and floors and walls.

he stood awkwardly near the counter as she momentarily disappeared in the back. he observed the small plant in the cat pot near the register, reached out and smiled at the soft, gentle texture of the leaves, when the handles of the resusable bag slid from his wrist to his elbow and he yanked his arm back, pulling the plant and ripping the leaf with it.

the plant and pot fell to the ground, soil and decorative rocks scattering across the ground. “oh, shit,” eren whispered frantically, rushing to place the bags on the tabletop and ducking down to brush up the debris, to put the displaced plant back into its home.

he noticed her peering over the counter. “i, uh, i didn’t mean to…” he stood up, the messy plant tucked back into the plastic liner and back into the thankfully unbroken pot.

he felt the uncomfortable heat flooding his abdomen. he felt his usually rigid abs softening into nervous gelatin as she stared at him blankly. he felt embarrassed at how clumsy he was around her, which was only exacerbated when he thought back to armin’s playful teasing after the record incident.

she chuckled softly as he placed it on the counter. “that’s okay. i do it all the time,” she confided, pointing towards the pile of dirt in the corner of the room, swept under one of the displays. he exhaled airily, smiling, relieved. she watched him delicately place the torn leaf next to the bags. “what are these?” she asked, lightly touching the top.

“o-oh, they’re for you,” he answered sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck, “my brother owns a bakery. i thought since i was coming so early, we could…” he trailed off, shifting uncomfortably, “you’ll enjoy it. he’s really good.”

she relaxed into the chair. “thanks, eren.” she stared at him softly and raised an eyebrow. “are you here for a pot?”

he wiped his hand against his jeans. “i, uh.” no. “yes.” he could feel beads of sweat starting to form on his hairline, and he hoped they wouldn’t roll down.

she stood up, flattening out the wrinkles in her apron with her palms. “you’re welcome to look around, but,” she explained as she wandered around the counter, walked right by him. she smelled nice, like pink roses and prosecco. “i picked out two nice pots that are about its size, held them in case you wanted one.” she held the two small pots in her hands.

one various shades of green, an ombré of dark to light in a cascading pattern that seamlessly transitioned under his stare. the other bursts of yellow and orange and red, hot colors searing through the clay and burning into the edges, overlayed with a distinct smell of light grey smoke licking up the sides.

mikasa held up the fiery pot higher than the other. “carla told me you like camping, and i’ve never been, but when i was young and the shop was slow, my father and i huddled around pots like this one and pretended we were around campfire.”

eren’s heart dropped into his stomach. he wondered where her father was now, after all this time, during these long and difficult weeks; his absence turning the night bleaker and darker.

she turned her gaze to the grassy pot, her eyes roaming the gradient monochrome mosaic. “this one, just… reminds me of you.” she glanced up at him, and she felt warm when she realized he was already looking to her.

his heart swelled and his chest hurt. she’d picked them out for him? with more of a reason than it’s the size of the liner? how was he even supposed to choose one? she’d put thought into both.

she’d put thought into him.

“maybe it’s because of your eyes or that shirt you always wear,” she joked awkwardly, smiling faintly and minutely, avoiding eye contact, to take his fixated attention off her. did she say something wrong?

eren’s throat sucked his mouth dry, and his tongue lost all speaking mobility. it hung flat in his mouth, too heavy to move but too light to let go. he lost his mind at her meek, fleeting smile. a smile too pristine to be faltering so soon.

“or maybe it was the record you were holding when i brought the plant,” she added quietly, squinting at the green pot like it would restore her memory, regurgitate her line of thinking when she picked it out of the rest.

she finally returned his eye contact, pulling him out of his blatant adoration. “you don’t have to pick either,” she continued, rambling from the unsettling rumble in her gut, the foreign itching under her skin, “there’s many more here that you might like.”

she went to put the two hand-selected pots down when eren stepped forward, held his arms out to stop her movement. “no! i, ah, i do want those ones.” he held his hands out to take them from her. “i’d… actually like both, if that’s okay.” she looked at him with a light surprise, her eyes and mouth wide and open.

he liked the pink blush that graced her cheeks. “o-oh. a-are you sure?” she furrowed her eyebrows, dropped her gaze. “you only have the only plant…”

he felt the heat from her charcoal eyes set his meadows on fire. he felt his heart beat speed up and his vessels dilate.

eren stepped closer. he lifted his forearms, delicately covered her hands as they cupped the pots.

“i want to buy your favorite plant too,” he said softly, his longer fingers curling over hers, intertwining lightly with hers.