#maybe that’s my biggest pet peeve about the current state of politics

[indefiniteavatar]

So basically, in a case about him shoving money at someone so they shut up about him. . .he can’t shut the fuck up himself. I would say something clever and funny here, except the sad part is that this is just so normal in current politics that it’s just. . .not hilariously absurd behavior anymore? Not to say that it’s not absurd - it is beyond such, but it is just. . . predictable, I suppose.

I guess this is how I feel about politics lately? Either I get mad at everything or I try to laugh at everything and normally that works because politicians usually aren’t so tragically stupid so very often, but now I just kinda have to chuckle at the particularly eyeroll worthy things like this, and try to ignore everything else or my brain will explode.

[grimoire-of-geekery]

Adult asks answered!

Warning: I am a curmudgeon, and some of these opinions may come across as mean, rude, or overly critical.  This is intentional.  Get off my lawn.

1: Exactly how long have you been in your current relationship?

15 years almost exactly with my first husband. Closer to 9 years with my second husband, 7 with my third, and 4 with my fiance. And yes, I'm still with them all, so they all count as "current relationships!" *laughs maniacally in polyamorous*

2: Most recent purchase over $500.

Phones. LOL we had to get everyone new phones, like last year.  We’re still three iGenerations behind.

3: How much of the furniture you own is the kind you have to build yourself?

None. All of the furniture we have is bought from places like Rent-A-Center, from a vintage or thrift store, or we inherited it.

4: If you were to acquire a baby tomorrow what would you name it?

Uhhh... "Someone Else's Problem." Or maybe "Cauldron," last name "Fodder."

5: How often do you change your sheets...really.

Like once a month. Yeah, I know...

6: Biggest adult decision ever:

Buying a house!

7: More immature thing you do on a regular basis.

Get into stupid arguments for no reason?  I dunno, I try to curb my immature impulses.  I like being a geek, some people think that’s immature.  I don’t think it is, though, so they can suck it.

8: Biggest bill you pay.

Mortgage, probably.  It’s not a bad payment though.

9: Smallest bill you pay.

Netflix.  Either that or our subscription to Final Fantasy XIV.

10: What small responsibility do you get the most excited over?

Having a house key (which I don't always carry with me), because I wasn't ever allowed to have one as a kid.

11: List your kids from most tolerable to least tolerable based on the past 24 hours.

...

Tada! That's the list!  *laughs even louder in child-free*

12: Favorite year of school?

I hated school. Mostly because of the other students.

13: Have you actually thought about retirement?

Yes! We have a plan, actually. Where we want to live, what kind of house we want to have, who will have to die or "disappear" so we can live there without issues... It's a whole big thing!

14: Is sex better now than it was in high school/college?

Eh, it's good, but I'm not in as good of shape as I used to be, so I'd say probably about even.  We’ve gotten better in technique, and we know each other better after all these years, but my health’s gotten slightly worse.

15: Do you own sex toys?

OF COURSE?!  Who doesn’t own sex toys these days??

16: Favorite place in your home?

My living room. :D  That or my ritual room.  Neither is perfectly set up yet, though.

17: What's making you feel old?

There are people in this world having CHILDREN who have never existed in a world without Spongebob Squarepants. :/

18: What do you drive?

I don't drive personally. But our family car is an Escalade.

19: What adult responsibility do you loathe?

TAXES.  That and the DMV and getting my stupid ID renewed.  Oh, and probably voting.

20: The last time you did shots?

Not a thing I do.

21: What aggravates you about teenagers nowadays?

The same thing I've always hated about young people, ever since I was one. Casual cruelty.

22: 5 biggest pet peeves.

1) Cisgender heterosexual men, like everything about that entire social role. The smug superiority that comes with being a cisgender male with conventionally average sexuality... dude, it doesn't make you special, it makes you boring and probably dangerous. Shut. The fuck. Up. 2) People who put their damn food or soft drink on my altars! Makes me want to sit on their lap and pass gas. RUDE. 3) People who touch my hair or jewelry without asking, and people who get offended if they ask and I say no. Swear to gods, next person gets a throat punch. 4) How people use social media. People never post anything really good or important, they only ever post their inane and often-poorly-researched opinions, or lies they want people to believe about their lives. 5) People who use their mental illness, marginalized status, or other misfortunes as an excuse for abusive behavior. Being neurodivergent doesn't justify being an asshole, nor does your fibromyalgia, poverty state, sexual orientation or gender identity, or any other feature of your life. Speaking as someone who has mental and physical health issues, a marginalized religion and queer identity, and who is a person of color- THIS DOESN'T EXCUSE US FROM BEING ASSHOLES.

23: What are your shows right now?

Rewatching Once Upon a Time, which is awesome, cuz I have never related to a TV character so much as I relate to Regina Mills. I'm also a big fan of Dragon Prince, and the new Charmed, Sabrina, and She-Ra!

24: Have your political views changed since you left school?

Nope, they've just grown.

25: What's changed the most since 5 years ago?

I'm way more tired than I used to be. And fatter. And my back's fucked up.

[davetheshady]

may I politely request ⭐dealer's choice director's commentary⭐for pretty much any part of Love is All You Need to Destroy Your Enemies?

Did you mean: infodump about Chapter 5?

We start off in medias res during Pteranodon Attack-Gate from Episode 4: PTA Meeting. Since most of the fic runs parallel to WTNV’s storyline for the first ~two years, the way I narrowed down which events to feature was to read through the transcripts and take note of which ones had Carlos, which ones featured science/magic/time travel-related elements, which ones had weird discrepancies or unsolved details that could be explained by Carlos/science/magic/time travel/all of the above, and which ones I just liked a lot. 

Incidentally, Cecil issues a correction that the winged reptiles in question were actually pterodactyls, not pteranodons, which was then promptly forgotten by the showrunners lol.

"—And then Kelly pulled her hamstring while they were doing the Fixing of a Nail position. I'm trying to convince her that she and Joe should do yoga together, I think it would really cut back on minor injuries and also they both look great in yoga pants. Anything new with you, Carlos?"

"Nothing that compares to... hamstring injuries," says Carlos, from his position on top of the Sciencemobile.

"All right," says Kate, adjusting an enormous pair of mirrored aviator shades. "Then describe the Barstow formation."

Since literal character doubling was such an important part of the plot, I had a lot of fun with thematic character doubling, too. Carlos and Kate (and the other grad students) are actually pretty close in age, and here we see her willing to put herself into danger to get the job done while casually chatting with her colleagues. Also, there’s a nice dose of karma for the books in Carlos having to deal with someone else oversharing details about their relationships, compounded by the fact that unlike his all of Kate’s are actually true. (In nicer doubling news: Kate is the one who gets her degree in science, has functional romantic relationships, AND continues to work in Night Vale, which are all eventually Carlos’ hashtag life goals.) 

"Maybe it was future you," asks Julie, who does not sound appropriately concerned for the potentially diverted course of the Currents of Time. Or for the potentially diverted course of the already unlinear life of Carlos.

This is the first conversation where she’s ‘Julie’ in his mental narration. I enjoyed having her be hilariously unsympathetic to his concerns here, because her priorities are still very different, but it also sets up a baseline. She doesn’t bother worrying about hypotheticals from the weird shit, but actual hard data (like, Carlos not sleeping and having minor breakdowns in her lab) is what prompts her to share reactions besides SCIENCE! and snark.

His stomach roils at the thought of more time travel. "Some kind of illusion is more likely," he says: some person or creature temporarily assuming his form, probably for sinister purposes. He reluctantly adds those weird doubles from the sandstorm to his list of possible suspects, though his dissolved right in front of him in the middle of next March and there haven't been any sandstorms recently.

oh hey haha what’s that

One of my biggest pet peeves in fiction is when allegedly intelligent characters ignore obvious plot points so the writer can railroad the story in their chosen direction. On the other hand, it is genuinely difficult to avoid spoiling your plot twists if your main character is actively trying to figure them out. I leaned heavily on “the character has all the basic details… along with so much other information they can’t realistically narrow it down”, combined with some red herrings: an obvious one (illusion magic) and hopefully a more convincing one (time travel as the only relevant plot: it's DEFINITELY involved, but its presence is obscuring another facet of the plot altogether).

There's always a risk that astute readers will figure it out, but, like… so? That just means instead of shocking plot twist reveal, they get an “I KNEW IT!” reveal, which is equally satisfying in a different way. As long as the characters have convincing reasons for not figuring it out, it's hopefully still enjoyable to follow along with them as they wander around in the dark. 

(And just for clarification: that was Doppel-Carlos crashing the town hall meeting when he and Dr. Raith were testing out time vortices.) 

Andre hands him a copy of the Night Vale Daily Journal. “’Look your best to face the void. Smooth-chinned souls are most enjoyed’,” reads Carlos. “‘Burma-Shave.’”

"No, below the ads," says Andre.

1) ‘character reads wrong piece of information in paper’ is a classic goof (“There’s a sale at Penney’s!”) and I found it very amusing to repeatedly attribute it to Carlos, since he’s genuinely trying to locate the important information. Unfortunately for him, he lives in Night Vale and no longer has a filter for “useless nonsense”, because even the nonsense has proven relevant and/or kinda murdery before.

2) Burma-Shave! This was passed down to me as part of our Great American Roadtrip Family Lore (I come from a long line of roadtrippers) and it’s definitely the kind of kitschy 50s detail that fits so well in Night Vale.

"Oh!" says Cecil. "What were you studying?"

"Bioremediation for contaminated pit lakes via sulfur-reducing bacteria," says Carlos truthfully.

Why? Because I edited one of my friends’ papers on it, that’s why. (Birds kept landing on it and dying, which is also a very Night Vale detail.)

When he returns, he finds Cecil standing by the record player with his back against the wall, staring fixedly at Carlos’ vinyl copy of Ixnay on the Hombre.

One of the DF books (I think White Night) had a hilariously high number of characters showing up wearing band t-shirts, and Carlos’ was for The Offspring. (The original file name for this fic was Original Prankster, back when I thought it would be three chapters long.)

“It’s about a wizard stranded in a strange, uncharted desert territory,” [Cactus Judy] says serenely.

Cactus Jane! I decided to make her a recurring character because 1) she’s in a time travel episode (Episode 18: The Traveler), 2) both she and TMITJ had the detail where no one can remember their real name, which seemed significant, and 3) WTNV itself did not have very many recurring female characters at that point. She’s into Shakespeare because I personally knew a lot of relevant Shakespeare quotes, but also as a hint that’s she’s a lot older (and thus a lot more supernatural) than she seems: Shakespeare was a HUGE part of pop culture in the 19th century, particularly in the southwest. Theater companies used to make more money going on tour through states with precious metal mines than they did during their whole season in the big coastal cities, probably because jaded city folks never threw gold nuggets on stage to show their appreciation.

If life is a contest between good and evil, Cecil would be one of the people handing out stickers just for participating.

This is one of my favorite lines.

My plan is fool-proof! It's sheer elegance in its simplicity!

Look, if you enjoyed this fic, WTNV, and/or The Dresden Files, you should probably go watch The Middleman. Yes, I know it’s not streaming, do it anyway. Load up on antivenom and go rent it from your local library.

“Could you [create a time vortex]?""Oh, for sure," says Carlos. "All I'd need would be a couple years to do nothing but work on a highly illegal spell and figure out a way to steal an entire ley-line's worth of power and excise my sense of morality and self-preservation.”

And WHAT are the odds of THAT

It's not that Carlos doesn't like him. It just wouldn't be fair to lead him on when Carlos wouldn't actually—

Well, Carlos wouldn’t mind asking but he doesn’t normally go for—

Okay, Carlos could definitely make an exception for Cecil and—

And—

oh NO he accidentally used logic to make himself admit he has FEELINGS

One of the reasons I love this pairing is that you have Cecil, who is incredibly emotionally open (all the time, on public radio) as a distinct contrast to Carlos, who is so used to putting up a very specific facade that he even does it to himself and then struggles when he doesn't have it to rely on. It creates conflict, but it also means they have very different perspective they can share with each other. 

"Did the earth move for you, too?" says Cecil.

"Bwuh?" replies Carlos.

"At the monitoring station," says Cecil, because right, they're talking about science and not about how Carlos may or may not have accidentally developed a tiny, tiny crush on Cecil, who is standing right in front of him and looking extremely interested in what he's saying and will commit his words to memory and lovingly repeat them for all the world, or at least all of Night Vale and anyone else who received the same odd death curse as Carlos, to hear.

"Oh. Hmm – unh," replies Carlos, then shakes his head. Not talking, that's the way to go. That way he won't accidentally say something he doesn't mean, or worse, something he does mean but probably shouldn't say. Cecil can ask him science questions and he can shake his head yes or no, and maybe refer him wordlessly to supplementary materials, and it will all be very professional and—

"Where did you get your shirt?" asks Cecil. "It fits you so well."

"I'll look at my notes and computer models and see if I can figure out what's going on," Carlos blurts out, and practically runs from the room.

One of the reasons I started writing this fic (SEPTEMBER 2013, BABY god I feel old) was because we all knew Carlos was immensely important to Cecil, but had relatively little information about him, and ALL of it was filtered through our unreliable narrator. So… I just kind of ran with that. 

But on top of the obvious unreliability of “didn't notice Carlos was a wizard from a different series”, I wanted to do it on the smaller scale, too, and put a different spin on the touchstones of their growing relationship that everyone was already familiar with. So this interaction is now a crisis for both of them, and for dramatically/hilariously different reasons. 

“If you’re worried about going native, I’ve got bad news for you, buddy, because you do more chanting than anyone I’ve met.”

Another one of my favorite lines.

“I’ve had to hunt down people I know before, and trust me, it’s not a fun date night!”

Between Molly and fanon interpretations of Cecil, Carlos’ type is apparently 1) weird tattoos, 2) unusually-colored hair, and 3) can kill him

There's a brief hiss from the TV's speakers, and then Cecil says, in a small, forlorn voice, “I don't know if he listens to me, sometimes.”

Carlos puts his head down and laughs bitterly.

I LOVE IRONY 

But even though I wanted to subvert the surface meaning, Cecil DOES still have a point. He got a good look at Carlos’ soul when they first met and still fell in love instantly, but Carlos has a difficult time hearing that because at this point he fundamentally does not believe he’s worthy of that kind of love. In order to truly believe Cecil, he also has to start learning to love and accept himself. (It’s very much a work in progress, but nobody’s perfect.) The title isn’t just meant to refer to romantic love – self-love, friendship, familial love, and unconditional love for the humanity of his trash fire town are equally important, because they all support each other.

hmu for more dvd commentary!

[sxrcerer-mxckey]

DCP Spring 2020 Roommate Survey; DM me!

Alright, so this is a little different than what I usually post! But I’m almost on my way through the DCP app (PI on Thursday!) and through my wishful thinking I wanted to start looking for potential roommates.

The groups I’ve joined on FB have all been kinda.... cisheteronormative.... so i figured this might be a better place to look! I would especially like to find other LGBT roommates or incredible LGBT allies. This is frankly because I would feel safer, rather than room with people who are uncomfortable with me being trans, using he/him pronouns, the like. Because I am still legally female, I would be rooming with women (I think?)

Completed survey under the cut! I’d love to get to know people more in DMs!

[[MORE]]

BACKGROUND

Name: Andrew

Gender: Trans man

Orientation: Bi

Relationship Status: Single

Birthday/Age: 10/17 (18 years old)

Current Location: Cleveland, OH

From: Buffalo, NY

School: Cleveland State University

Major: Environmental sciences

Are you allergic/allergies to anything? Nope

Do you have any siblings? Yep!

DCP DETAILS

Are you applying for WDW or DL? WDW

Flying or Driving: driving, probably

Your Role?: not sure yet!

What program are you applying for? Spring 2020

Do you want to live in Wellness or Non-Wellness? Wellness

How many people do you want to live with? No more than 2-4 others

Which housing complex would you like to live in?: Commons or Vista, but I don’t really mind

Alumni? Nope

LIFESTYLE

Do you party? How often? Nope! I like small friend gatherings

Do you smoke? Nope

Do you drink? Nope

Can you cook? Not much more than your regular pasta haha

Are you a night person or morning person? Morning! But I’m respectful enough to be quiet and not wake anyone up

Do you snore? Nope

What does your bedroom normally look like? Honestly, it can be a little bit of a controlled chaos, but if it makes my roomie uncomfortable I can kick my ass into being neater

Do you like it when your room is hot or cold? Either way!

Would you rather go out or stay in? Whatever my friends are doing, I can be adventurous or I can be a couch potato!

What do you like to do on your days off/the weekend? Would either like to go to the parks, or just relax, maybe find a beach

Do you work out a lot? Not if my friends don’t come with lol

PERSONALITY

Three words that describe you: Respectul, polite, and humorous!

One good quality: Even if we’re not best friends, I still try to be pretty nice acquaintances with my roommates

One bad quality: Again, I can be a little unorganized...

Are you outgoing or quiet? Definitely quiet, until I really get to know you

Do you like hanging out with people or keeping to yourself? A small group of mutual friends is alright! But I can definitely get along on my own most of the time

What would you want in a roommate? Good communication, sharing of chores, and as polite and respectful as I am!

What are your biggest pet peeves/dislikes? Acting passive aggressive or petty... also leaving the toilet seat up

Are you messy or organized? I’m more in the middle lmao

How do you feel about sharing? Just ask! I’d probably say yes

Do you like having people over a lot? I don’t mind, as long as they’re not too troublesome or rude

Favorite thing to do: I’m a big arts and crafts person! My hobbies tend to come and go with different crafts

Favorite Music: anything I can jam out too!

Favorite TV Shows: cartoons, but also your typical popular Netflix shows

Favorite Movies: any animated fun movie!

Favorite Food: pasta, pizza, chicken, tacos...

Favorite Candy: Skittles, kit kats

Favorite Drink: Iced lattes

Favorite Color: blue

DISNEY!!

Favorite Character: Donald, Scrooge, and Launchpad. Oh and Perry the platypus

Favorite Movie: i have a couple!

Favorite Disney Channel Show: phineas and ferb, and ducktales

Favorite Park: EPCOT! And Animal Kingdom For Pandora Specifically

Favorite Ride: Flight of Passage, and tower of terror

[theactualpilot]

Do the evens on both posts, 😘

2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Yes, who doesn’t?

4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No but I stole a cone before

6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I do neither

8:Do you have freckles? I don’t think so. maybe one or two but not a lot

10:What is your biggest pet peeve? When people don’t let me finish talking I’d say

12:Have you ever peed in the woods? Yeah a ton, I love camping (also when i get drunk)

14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Not normally

16:How many people have you slept with this week? Zero

18:What is your Song of the week? not really of the week, but I’ve been listening to a lot of songs by Old Dominion recently

20:Do you still watch cartoons? Yeah sometimes

22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Under my house I think

24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in? BBQ or Honey Mustard

26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Saving Private Ryan, or Curious Case of Benjamin Button

28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Boyscout

30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? A LOOONG time ago (anybody wanna be pen pals?)

32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nope! All warnings lmao

34:Favorite kind of sandwich? Turkey melt

36:What is your usual bedtime? Anywhere from 1 - 3

38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? One year I went as anakin Skywalker

40:How many languages can you speak? Fluenty? One. learning? Italian and Russian

42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos gtfoh

44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman? I don’t watch either so idk

46:Are you afraid of heights? God yes lmao

48:Do you sing in the shower? Not normally. Maybe if I’m home alone

50:Ever used a gun? Mutliple times yes

52:Do you think musicals are cheesy? It depends on the musical. I love Hamilton

  54:Ever eat a pierogi? Yes theyre god damn amazing

56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Astronaut, Pilot, at one point I wanted to be a car wash owner

58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes

60:Wear slippers? Nope

62:What do you wear to bed? Boxers

64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target, fuck walmart

66:Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos

68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Nope

70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Not Really, maybe something to do with aviation

72:Ever won a spelling bee? Nope

74:Own any record albums? nope

76:Regularly burn incense? Nope

78:Who would you like to see in concert? Old Dominion for sure

80:Hot tea or cold tea? Cold, and Sweet

82:Sugar or snickerdoodles? Por Que no los dos?

84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes

86:DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ

88:Ever have plastic surgery? No?

90:Can you knit or crochet? Nope

92:Do you want to get married? I think so? I’ve heard horror stories from pilots so I’m scared, but I think to do

94:Who was your HS crush? I had a couple, a couple good friends that I’m still friends with

96:Do you have kids? I do not

98:Whats your favorite color? Blue

2. where do you see yourself living in 10 years? Seattle I hope or SLC

4. has your aesthetic changed at all in the last year? No, I don’t think it ever will

6. name three books that changed your life. Harry Potter Series, 11/22/63, and Cell by Stephen King

8. what three songs can you not get enough of right now? Hotel Key by Old Dominion, Ikuyo by KYLE, and Song for Another Time by Old Dominion

10. state an unpopular opinion that you have. Oh shit, I’m not sure, I don’t think I hold many unpopular opinions. Maybe, past 70 you must take a driving refresher every two years, and they can take your license away if they feel you’re unsafe

12. describe your ideal date? Go to a bar, talk and get to know each other, maybe go for a walk afterwards, hopefully lots of laughing. I’m pretty low key with first dates honestly

14. if you could have dinner with anybody, who would it be? My dad probably

16. what’s your favorite instrument? I don’t think I have one? Maybe Piano or Sax

18. what’s a topic that you wish you knew more about? Politics and current world matters. I’m unfortunately kinda ignorant when it comes to that and it makes making an informed decision hard

20. favorite fruit & vegetable? I looooove pears

22. favorite beverage? toss up between coffee, beer, and sweet tea

24. are you reading a book at the moment? what do you like about it? I’m not :( I should really start

26. what’s your favorite season & why? Autumn, its gorgeous, slightly chilly, i love flannels, halloween is a gorgeous holiday, I could go on.

28. what do you do when you need to de-stress? Deep breaths mainly. I try to step back and take a moment to gather myself

30. name an experience in your life you wish you could do over? College 100%

32. what’s your favorite weather? sunny without a cloud in the sky, or rainy

34. describe a time that you were brave. When my dad passed, or that one time I almost drowned

36. do you have a place you go to when you feel stressed/sad? Not really

38. what time is it where you are? 3:05 PM

40. got any summer plans? Summers almost over???

42. favorite film genre? Thriller, or Sci-Fi

44. describe your body without using any negative adjectives. Hairy, somewhat fit (depending on the day), nice to look at (I think)

46. are you on good terms with your parents? Yes

48. do you typically look for a partner with the same traits as you or someone to complement yours? Honestly, both. you can’t be completely opposite but you can’t be the exact same either

50. put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs to play. oh god this sucks okay

Gortoz A Ran by Denez Prigent

That Would Be Enough by Lin Manuel Miranda

I know him by Lin Manuel Miranda

American Idiot (Live) by Green Day

All Signs Point to Lauderdale by ADTR

We are Young, by Fun

The world As we Know It by Scary Kids Scaring Kids

Why Don’t We Just Dance by Josh Turner

Toxicity by System of a Down

Rolling in the Deep by Adele

Thanks for the ask, love :)

[pickledchickenetti]

(pt 1) I'm a woman and am happily married to another woman and I don't understand why everyone was so upset at Krista. She openly supports marriage equality and has defended it. She has close LGBT friends (I know having black friends doesn't make you not racist but in my experience people that have been opposed to my sexual orientation stop being friends with me) and advocates for LGBT persons to be included in the church and conservatives to accept us.

Hi friend, thanks for your thoughts! I don’t know your background, so I hope that my answer doesn’t come across as condescending or rude as that is certainly not my intention. My opinions on Krista’s stance on gay issues are strongly colored by my experiences, which I have no problem admitting. I’m sure plenty of other LGBT folks have different feelings, which is totally fine. For what it’s worth, I saw more people upset with Krista over her posts about abuse victims not remarrying after a divorce than I have over any of the LGBT posts she’s made, but I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t regularly made critical comments about her LGBT posts/stances here. 

In order to be fair to her, I decided to go back through her blog (on Tumblr, not her other blog) and re-read her posts on gay issues in order to make sure that I’m not taking other people’s comments about her or vague memories I have of old posts and projecting my own frustrations with other conservative Christians’ opinions onto Krista.. I’m going to do my best to source anything I reference via links to that post, but I apologize if I miss anything. 

I will also be focusing on issues regarding people who are sexually attracted to the same sex (using the blanket term of “gay”, which also represents bi/pan/etc.) for this post. I am cis myself, and your question references your same-sex relationship and family, so in this case it feels appropriate to stay in my lane and not offer opinions on a cis person’s stances on gender issues as another cis person. I do not mean to exclude gender nonconforming people from the overall LGBT community in any way. 

The oldest about posts I can find from Krista about anything gay-related are anons asking her opinions. I’m fairly sure that this is the first one, where she essentially gives a fairly neutral action that could be interpreted as “I don’t think being gay sends you to hell” or as “I think gay people can go to heaven too as long as they repent of that sin along with the others”. She does not make it clear what her opinion on same-sex attraction specifically is, as another anon then pointed out in this post. Does her tone in addressing the anon bother me? Yes. Does she have the right to call out people she feels are being rude to her? Also yes. 

Early on in the post she says “First, you missed out on a lot of people. It’s actually LGBTQIAAP.” (likely referencing the anon saying LGBTQIA), and it’s just a personal pet peeve of mine for straight people to try to act like they have any authority on things like the acronym, but I realize that that’s just me and she also has no way of knowing the anon’s sexuality so perhaps it was one straight person (sarcastically) informing another straight person of a perceived shortcoming. Perhaps not. She then goes on to defend her refusal to give a “straightforward answer” by, in my opinion, continuing to dodge the question. 

Further down she brags that she “was actually named best advocate at a national moot court competition this past year arguing that Title VII protects against sexual orientation discrimination”. Now maybe I’m wrong, but it’s my understanding that moot courts aren’t typically events where you’re expected to defend your own personal beliefs, but events where you are assigned a stance and have to argue it regardless of what you believe. If that’s the case, mentioning that is irrelevant. If it is not the case and she was able to choose that stance, bragging about it for some sort of ally point is, in my opinion, arrogant. 

She ends the post by saying that her LGBT friends “are entitled to all of the rights, privileges, and safeties that I enjoy as a straight woman. Who you love and who you’re attracted to does not change your place in society or the rights that you have or opportunities you should be able to pursue.” Sure, your sexual orientation SHOULDN’T change your place in society or your rights, but it DOES. It absolutely does, and to say that LGBT folks are entitled to the same rights as straight women is, at best, misguided. Krista is a lawyer who has, in theory, interacted with multiple members of the LGBT community, so she should realize that regardless of what should or shouldn’t be true, LGBT still DON’T have the same rights as her in many states, and even in states where legally we have the same rights we still live with fears she will never experience. 

As for the claim that Krista is “not only tolerant of my family but accepting” and that she “accepts me and defends my rights”, here are my thoughts. I don’t want to be tolerated. If you’re cool with just being tolerated then more power to you, but as someone who is merely tolerated by a number of Christians, it really hurts and feels extremely de-humanizing. I do feel that “tolerates” is an accurate word for Krista’s stances on gay people (with the possible exception of the gay friends she claims to have). I do not feel that Krista “defends” gay people and our families beyond her belief that she is legally obligated to uphold the law. She has said that she is “totally fine with gay couples adopting”, which is a positive. She has also said she feels families with same-sex couples should be treated like “any other couple”, which again, is a positive. I guess I just don’t feel like that’s the same as defending. She recently admitted that she has never voted for a Democrat, and while I understand why someone from Vermont might see third-party candidates as viable (because in many Vermont races they are), she has to realize that voting third-party for president is throwing away your vote in the current political climate. Beyond voting, what is she actually DOING to “defend” gay people? Nothing she has ever said makes me think she’s using her privilege to truly defend us to her conservative Christian circles. Unless proven otherwise, I can’t help but feel that she’s able to talk a (vague) big game about being supportive without actually doing any supporting. 

I have recently said that it is my belief that she thinks gay sex/acting on same-sex attractions is sinful, even if our marriages should be legal. I will admit that I formed that opinion largely based on a private conversation I had with her, and which I will not share publicly without her permission. In going through old posts, I came across this post, which I feel also supports this opinion. An anon says that they can’t see any good qualities to overcome “when the thing they disagree with is gay rights/gay marriage/that being gay is a sin”, and that they’d “say the same about someone who identified as a Nazi or a white supremacist”. In Krista’s response, she literally says “But, by the same token, you and I are talking right now, and hopefully, I’m not reminding you of a Nazi”. That statement seems to imply that she falls into at least one of those categories or else why would she remind the anon of a Nazi? In another post she also says that “I do believe that all people are responsible for their sexual BEHAVIOR”, which seems to imply that there is something sinful about sexual behavior between people of the same sex. 

If we want to get down to it, this is the post that was the cause of my initial feeling that Krista was not a safe person for gay people. If someone asks you if you think being LGBTQ+ is a sin and your answer is to tell them they are trying to “stir division”, it is only fair to assume that you think they won’t like your answer. If I ask someone their belief on that subject, I am asking because I want to know their opinion. This anon echoes the same sentiment. If she’s really worried about “stirring division” she should have just ignored the question. 

To anyone still reading at this point, thanks for sticking it out with me. Honestly Krista’s recent posts (paired with some events in my life offline) have really got me thinking, and I have a lot of things weighing on me. I’m glad that you are able to feel that as long as she believes you deserve the same rights as she does it’s fine. I hope you continue to feel safe in that. Unfortunately, many of us aren’t that lucky. Many of us have lived too much of our lives feeling disgusting and broken and worthless because of teachings that that same God she worships and we were brought up to worship disapproves not only of any relationships we have, but of an inherent part of who we are. The biggest reason that I continue to speak out against Krista’s posts is because I just need any scared or confused young gay teenagers in the church to know that they don’t have to settle for being tolerated, and no matter who thinks they’re sinning, they’re not. 

Krista’s posts (in the context of the rest of the blog) would have devastated me at one time in my life. When I speak out against them, I’m usually saying the sorts of things I wish someone would have said to me then.

[subfrenzy1978-blog]

Vetting, the Lost Art

Vetting a new partner is something we have lost as a society, not just in the BDSM community.  We see all the time a person ends one relationship to next week, or less, be chest deep in a new relationship and deeply in love. So, what is vetting and why is it so important? According to dictionary.com the definition is ” to appraise, verify, or check for accuracy, authenticity, validity”.  In the vetting process you do so much more than a quick run down to see if your kinks match.   You make sure you can trust this person with your life.   Yet, so many times it’s just over looked as an unnecisary step.  In my opinion it’s the most important step in a relationship. It’s important to realize you aren’t in a dynamic until you can both honestly say you can trust the other with your life.   It’s ok to agree to be exclusive or even agree to be in a relationship of sorts, but not a dynamic.   To enter a dynamic you need to know each other inside and out.   You need to know everything you can about each other.   Both the Dom/me and sub need to know they can trust the other with their life. It’s also important to realize vetting isn’t something you should rush. Most relationships these days start out online.   You should give yourself at least a couple of weeks before agreeing to meet in person.   This will give you time to ask plenty of questions, even repeat some of the same questions to see if it’s answered the same or if there’s the possibility of deceit on their part. Even after the first meeting I wouldn’t say vetting has ended.   How long should it last?  Think of it this way, when you start a new job it normally comes with a 90 day grace period before they hire you on full time.   If you think of it like that then you will lesson your chances of ending up as yet another number on the statistics chart.   Giving yourself and your partner that kind of time will allow you to see each other in various situations.   You will see flaws, how they handle stress and disagreements.   You will have plenty of time to discuss both kink and what you need outside of the bedroom too. Before you even get to the kinky stuff there are some vanilla things you need to know about each other.   I know it’s easy to get wrapped up in the kink side of this lifestyle and forget we have basic needs that need to be met too.   If we don’t mesh well outside of the bedroom all the kink in the world won’t make for a lasting relationship. Ask if they have physical illness or limitations.   Ask if they have mental health issues or past trauma that affects them emotionally.   Not only do you need to know these things before a scene you need to know up front if you are ready for any challenges these will have in the relationship.   You don’t have to be cruel, but it’s best to be honest and walk away upfront if there’s something you can’t deal with.   It wouldn’t be fair to you or your partner to get deep in the relationship only to walk away later on because you later realize you’ve never been comfortable with a limitation they have.  Be completely honest with them and yourself if you have even the slightest reservation. If they have a history of mental illness or past trauma ask what triggers they have.   Ask what they have done to try and manage it.   Ask what you can do to help.   Try to remember just because you can’t see a disability doesn’t make it any less real.   If you can’t look at them with compassion and kindness in helping them cope and grow you have no business sticking around.   You could do far more harm than good.   Don’t be that person that tries to beat mental illness out of someone’s head, you aren’t helping. What are their hobbies? What was their childhood like? What are their political views?  Maybe touch on the hottest political topics of the day. What’s their views on child rearing? Do they want or already have children? If you have children can they handle that? If you or they already have children what role will each of you play in the children’s lives? Do they have income?  If not, what’s the circumstances behind it?  If they work what do they do? Do they like their job?  If not where do they want to be in order to be happy?  What plan do they have in place to get there? Do they have transportation? What is their living situation? What education do they have? Are they planning on furthering their education? Do they have food, pet, drug or other allergies? What should you do in the event of a reaction? What’s their biggest pet peeve? What’s their goal in life? What plan do they have in place to get there? Do they drink or do drugs? If so, how often and how much?   What do other people say they are like when drunk or high?   If they don’t right now have they ever been diagnosed as an addict?  If so, what do they do to keep from having a relapse? Now that you’ve got some understanding as to who they are as a person you can move on to find out about their kinky lifestyle.   I’m not saying you must do these steps in order, but be sure they at least are willing to discuss life outside of the bedroom and aren’t trying to keep the conversation all kink all the time if you are in fact looking for a real relationship, not just bedroom kink.  If all they want to talk about is kink you need to see this as a red  flag and move on.   There’s far more to life and relationships than just sex.   Remember, you set the price for your commitment to a relationship.   Don’t let anyone manipulate you into selling yourself for far less than you are worth. Here are some kink questions to ask: Do they want poly, open relationship or strictly monogamous?  If they want poly have them describe what it means to them.   Have them be specific about how many people will be involved, will it be both of you being poly or just one?  If they want an open relationship have them describe what it means to them.   Will it be both of you or just one?  Will they want to share you with others for fun or punishment?  Will they want to swing? Ask if they are single.   If not, is their partner aware they are seeking another?   Can you meet their partner?  If not, tread very carefully.   If their partner isn’t aware you could be putting yourself in a lot of danger.   Jealousy can lead to murder, remember that.   Not only that, but if they will  cheat on their current partner with you they will have no qualms cheating on you.   If you are wanting to get involved in the local community be aware that cheating is frowned upon.   People take this offense very seriously.   Not only will your new partner be looked at with caution, but they will stain your reputation as well as one who is willing to come between another couple. What is their relationship history?   Ask them to describe their last three relationships.   What was good about them?   What was bad about them?   What led to the demise of the relationship?   Are they willing to allow you to talk to any of them?  If not, why?  If you hear the word restraining order in this conversation, run, run fast and run far.   If they don’t have contact info for previous partners ask if they have other references that can vouch for them.   Preferably people in good standing in the local community. How much experience do they have?  I wouldn’t say run just because they don’t have experience, but you defiantly want to know the answer to this question.   The amount of experience they have will not determine whether they are worthy of your time and devotion, unless this is really important to you.   If they are new are they willing to put in the effort to research, take classes, get involved with reputable online communities and the local community to learn?   If they say they are experienced you can judge if they are over stating their experience by their answers to questions about SSC, RACK, the sub creed,  the Dom creed, techniques and safety protocol. Are they active in the local community?  If so,  which groups do they attend?  Are they willing to let you contact the group admins to check references?  How long have they been attending these events?  What type of events do they attend?  Have they ever been removed from an event or asked not to come back?  If so, what were the circumstances behind it?  Which group was it?  Contact that group to check their story, depending on the offense and their truthfulness you may need to either proceed with caution or walk away.   You may also want to contact other groups in the area just to see if they have been banned for unethical or dangerous behavior and they aren’t telling you about it.   If you discover this is true, run, run far and run fast.  They can’t be trusted with your life. If they aren’t active in the local community are they willing to attend events with you?  If not, why?   If they have an anxiety disorder that limits their social abilities you may want to work with them on this.   But,  if it appears they are just too jealous to allow you to socialize or they are unwilling to admit they can learn from others you really need to see this as a red flag.   If they are new and unsure of testing the waters take it slow, maybe offer to attend a group munch with them instead of taking them to a full on dungeon event.   You really want to see how they interact with others in the community if you can.   You may also want to ask around at events what others think about your new partner before finding yourself alone with them for scenes. What is their STD status?  Do they have any blood born pathogens? Will they agree to testing before becoming sexually active?   It should go without saying that you really need to know the answers to these questions.   Your health and life in general could be on the line.   If they refuse testing for whatever reason, run and run fast.   This shouldn’t be a risk you are willing to take.   There are too many clinics that offer testing for free or reduced cost to put yourself at risk.   Don’t just trust them to tell you the results prove they are clean, ask to see the paperwork.   If they can’t provide paperwork they didn’t have it done.   Please, don’t leave this up to chance. Do they want a 24/7 dynamic or just bedroom kink?  Don’t compromise on this.   You will only set yourself up for failure if you go into it knowing they don’t want what you do in the end. Discuss yours and their most desired kinks. Discuss how much experience each of you have with each of them.   Discuss safety protocols.   Ask them specific questions such as where to strike and where to avoid.   If they enjoy edge play discuss what steps should be taken in the event of an emergency.   Each of you should fill out a kink check list and bring it with you to your first meeting.   Don’t go over it at dinner.  Put it aside and go over it later at home.   Then later you can discuss further kinks if needed.   Find out which ones each of you can’t live without and which ones you can be happy never being able to do them.   Discuss options for meeting each others needs even if certain kinks aren’t your cup of tea.   You may be able to compromise and maybe allow each other to have non sexual scenes with others at local events. Discuss hard and soft limits.   Discuss what options are available for pushing your limits, if any.   Discuss how to address the issue of your limits ever change, we all learn and grow with time, but don’t ever allow anyone to push past your limits when you’re not ready.   You should always be in full control over your limits.   If someone tells you that you aren’t allowed to have limits or that you should work toward not having limits, run and run fast.  Same goes for if someone tells you they don’t have limits.   Some subs or slaves think this makes them more desirable.   It will, to a predator.  A Dom/me should not accept a sub or slave without limits either.   This puts you at risk for needing a criminal law attorney.   Even dominates have limits. Discuss safe words.  It can be anything you like, but it’s best to keep it simple.   A single word or gesture is best.   Most dungeons have house safe words.   Everyone I’ve been to uses the traffic light system.   Green means your good to continue, yellow means to slow down, check on me or enough of that one activity, but you may continue with something else, red means stop the scene. I do suggest having multiple words like this.  If gags will be in play along with bondage you may need something like a bell to ring. As a sub make sure you feel your partner out enough that you can be confident that they will honor your safe word when you call it.   As a dominate make sure the sub knows their safe word and isn’t afraid to use it.   Make sure they understand it’s not being a good sub to refuse to use a safe word when needed.  It puts both the sub and the dominate in danger.   This can’t be stressed enough. Ask what they expect from a Dom/me or sub.   Ask them to define your role in their life.   Ask them to define their role in your life. What protocol will be expected in private?  What protocol will be expected in general public?  What protocol will be expected at lifestyle events?  You need to discuss such topics as eye contact,  positions,  dress,  collars, honorary titles for each other,  how to address others and anything else that will be expected. Ask if they are a sadist or masochist.  For sub vetting Dom/me, ask what type of dominate they identify as.   For Dom/me vetting sub, ask what type of submissive they are.   You also need to ask point blank if they are a brat.  Realize it takes a special dominate to handle a brat and there is no point in taking one on if you will just want to run a few weeks later.   Subs, be honest if you’re a brat.  There’s no point to getting involved if you aren’t both what the other needs and wants.   There are dominates that enjoy a brat, be patient and seek those dominates out. Discuss birth control.   Even if you have breeding as a fetish there is no need to bring children into the world until you are both ready and have established a healthy and lasting relationship.  Girl’s, do you really want to be one of many baby mammas he juggles?   Guys, do you really want to have a dozen baby mommas you have to pay child support to?  Be kinky, but do it smart and don’t make children suffer for it. How much physical attention do each of you want or need?  How much is too much?  How much alone time do you need to recharge?  Do either of you have work, school or children schedules that may interfere?   Where can you compromise and what lines are drawn hard in the sand?  How do they deal with rejection due to illness or you being physically or emotionally unable to perform at that time? How much control will the dominate have?   Will they control the subs body, daily activities, chores, work, school, children, diet, health concerns and hobbies? Will there be rules in the dynamic?  If so,  will punishment be involved?  What types of punishments can the sub expect for breaking each rule?   Will the punishments increase over time for the same offenses?   What transgressions will end the dynamic on both sides? Will both of you be expected to work or will one of you stay home?   If one will stay home, how long until that is expected to happen?   My advice is to live together at least a year before becoming completely financially dependent on your partner.   That gives you time to see them in various situations.   You will see the good, the bad and the ugly.   If you need to get out quick you want to have the means to do so.   Don’t be blinded by new love and allow yourself to be at the complete mercy of another before they have proven they are not an abuser hiding behind the mask of BDSM. There are a few milestones you want to discuss upfront as well.  You don’t want to come off as being pushy or trying to rush things, just make it clear you want to know what they have in mind for how fast or slow things will go.  Make it clear you understand this will not be written in stone that each step will take xyz amount of time either. If they don’t even want to discuss the possibility of milestones you may want to chalk that up to at least a yellow flag.   They may not be serious about a relationship moving  forward, but rather getting their jollies on the kink and nothing more.   If you’ve been dating for a few months and they still don’t want to discuss milestones don’t waste your time, they see you as a play toy, nothing more. The first thing you want to discuss is how long vetting should last. My recommendation is at least 90 days.   That gives you both time to see each other in different situations.   More than likely you will see each other at your best and on days that aren’t so great.   You’ll see how each other responds to stress, anger and excitement.   It will also give you plenty of time to explore kinks, limits, verify experience and check for holes in their stories.   I dated my Daddy/husband for 10 months before we entered our dynamic.   We both wanted to be very sure. I want to make it clear that during the vetting period a sub should not offer their full submission and a dominate should not accept full submission.   It’s perfectly ok to test the waters with basic training (think basic protocol and research), scenes that have been fully negotiated and task.   It’s ok for the sub to address the dominate with an honorific and for the  dominate to address the sub with an honorific.    It’s ok to agree to be exclusive during this time period and to expect fidelity.  It’s even ok to set up rules and task.  Just don’t expect or agree to full submission. But, both should keep in mind the dominate does not own the sub and both can walk away at any time.   Think of it as dating before marriage.   You wouldn’t marry someone you’ve talked to on the internet for two weeks, would you?  Same goes for offering up submission or agreeing to accept submission.   It’s a deep commitment on both sides that shouldn’t be taken lightly.  Dom/mes be weary of subs offering submission too quickly.   Subs be weary of Dom/mes demanding submission too quickly.   Honestly, they shouldn’t be demanding submission to begin with.  If they do, that’s a red flag of an overbearing abuser. Discuss how long it will be before the sub can expect a collar.   Find out what the collar means to them.   Will there be different degrees of collars?   If so, how long will each collar need to be worn before the sub can expect the next?   Will the sub need to reach certain goals to earn the collar?  How will it be tracked so as not to cause confusion or resentment?  Once the collar is earned can it be taken away?   Under what circumstances?  How would the sub earn it back? I’d like to add here that it is my personal opinion that once the collar is earned it should not be taken away for punishment, except in extreme circumstances.   Think cheating or emotional abandonment.  That’s like taking away a wedding ring because you’re upset.   That’s emotional abuse and is frowned upon. Discuss how long you will date before even considering to move in together.   Please don’t rush this.   Give yourself time to see some red flags before putting yourself in a situation it can be difficult to get out of.   My suggestion is a bare minimum of 6 months to a  year.   You want to give them enough time that the warm fuzzys of the honeymoon period have  warn off and they feel comfortable enough to let you see enough of their true colors that you can make a very informed decision. Is marriage an option?   If so, how long until it will be considered?   My momma told me to live with a man for at least a year before even considering to marry him.   It has saved me from a few bad mistakes.   It’s highly unlikely you wouldn’t see someone’s true and raw nature in  that length of time.   You’ll get a full taste of their hygene habits, cooking, cleaning and work habits.   You’ll also get to see full on if you’re compatible with how often each of you want sex and kink.   You’ll more readily be able to catch discrepancies in their stories too. What is their credit like?  This may be unimportant to some, but to others it could be a big deal.   If your end goal is to get married and buy a house you want to know what type of financial burden their credit rating could be.   I wouldn’t hold a bad credit rating against someone for medical bills or something like that.   But, if it’s clear they buy cars they can’t afford or splurge on other luxuries they can’t afford you really have to wonder what else they aren’t responsible about. Before you ever meet in person run a background check.   Not just in your state, all states.   Check the national sex offender registry.   Pay close attention to violent offenses and sex offenses.   If you see a protective order against them or charges for domestic violence run, run fast and far.   You don’t want to be their next punching bag.   Don’t even worry about getting an explanation for such offenses.   They may have been falsely accused, but do you really want to take the chance they were in fact guilty and just know how to sweetly convince you otherwise? For your first few meetings meet in public and there shouldn’t be kink or even vanilla sex involved at first.   You both should be focused on getting to really know each other, not worrying about getting in bed or one of you tied up and beat.   Moral values aside, that’s really not safe.  You need to fully trust someone with your life before you agree to a scene, can you honestly say you can trust them to tie you up and let you live after one date? Set up a safe call for your first few meetings. Make sure someone knows who you are with, where you will be, how long you will be there and they have a description of your date.   If you can, get a picture of their car and license plate before you go inside.   Have your safe call call you periodically through out the date to check on you.   I say call, not text.   Anyone can answer a text, they need to voice verify that it’s you and that you’re ok.  Have a set phrase in place that if you say it your safe call notifies police of your location and that you’re in distress.   Maybe put a tracker, like life360, on your phone that your friend can track for police in an emergency. Trust your gut instincts on first impressions.   If you’re struggling with the idea you may be over thinking things with everyone you meet, take a friend along on your first date and get their opinion too.   As a general rule our instincts about someone is normally correct.   If they make your spine crawl you probably shouldn’t be alone with them, ever. Go out on real dates during the vetting process.   You want to see how they interact with you in the real world, outside of kink.   Even if the Dom/me wants to have a date night of where they control the night you want to see how they behave toward you and others around you.   Pay attention to how they treat staff at restaurants, movie theaters or anywhere else you go.   If they are rude, condescending or flat out belligerent they will  eventually be that way toward you as well once the new wears off. Set up plans for them to mingle with your friends and for you to mingle with theirs.   Ask your friends what they think about your new interest.   Ask their friends questions about your new partner.   Pay  close attention if more than one person has reservations or concerns.   Others can often more clearly see red  flags we often miss on our own due to being blinded by new love. Spend the night together through the vetting process.   It’s easy to keep up appearances for a few hours.   It’s harder to do the same over  night or even harder over a weekend.   People tend to relax more in their own home.   Besides looking for red  flags you want to see them in their home environment.   You want to see their house keeping skills, personal hygene habits, eating habits and if the electric is in a  constant state of being threatened to be turned off.   You want to know if they are hiding a drinking or drug problem, evidence will more than likely be clearly displayed at home.   You want them to see you first thing in the morning too.   You need to know if you can both handle each other’s oddities at home, we all have them. The main thing is to have fun, relax and get to know each other.   Don’t try to rush anything.   If it’s meant to be it will happen.   Bottom line is, are you looking for forever or just your next booty call?  If you want forever it’s worth the time and effort to vet properly and make sure you are both what the other needs before jumping into a dynamic.   Once a sub submits they expect undying love and commitment.  Once a Dom/me accepts submission they expect total submission, love, loyalty and obedience.   You can’t and shouldn’t hand those things out like candy to everyone claiming to be just what you want and need without getting to know you inside and out. This lifestyle is about so much more  than scratching an itch for kinky sex.   This lifestyle is about the highest degree of love, loyalty, respect and trust.   Respect everyone until they give you a reason not to.   Make people earn the rest from you over time.

[unikkornhall]

I Don’t Know Her

Basic Character Questions

First name? Nikolas

Surname? MCS

Middle names? nope

Nicknames? You can call me Nikko

Date of birth? 10/09/1991

Age? 27

Physical / Appearance

Height? 1,74m

Weight? 89Kg

Build? Wide, graciously curvy

Hair colour? Red [thanks science]

Hair style? It should be long, but shit happens.

Eye colour? Light Brown

Eye Shape? Oh well... Caucasian-ish?

Glasses or contact lenses? None

Distinguishing facial features? Ginger beard

Which facial feature is most prominent? Forehead galore

Which bodily feature is most prominent? Paleness? Big ass[ets]?

Other distinguishing features? Long torax, short legs, waist legend

Skin? Pale, smooth, full of spots #101Nikkatians

Hands? Big, soft, can snap for days

Make up? Translucid powder, eyebrow, mascara, bronze eyeshadow, go!

Scars? Under my nose [dog bite], on my head [hammock fail]

Birthmarks? None

Tattoos? yensiD [left wrist], Mickey [right forearm], gnuoy eb, duorp eb [hands]

Physical handicaps? None

Type of clothes? It’d be a lot more awkward, slutty and funny if only $$$

How do they wear their clothes? Oh well, you know... On my body

What are their feet like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn, etc) I’m a 43(br) and love all kind of boots [perv]

Race / Ethnicity? Caucasian, mainly Lebanese and Italian, but also everything else [shout out to Ireland]

Mannerisms? As I said, Italian, so... hands everywhere. And faces.

Are they in good health? My body tries, I get in the way of it

Do they have any disabilities? Hmmm... Maybe focus-wise....I don’t knSQUIRREL!!!

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? Like... What now?

Do they have a catchphrase? “I didn’t come out to see straight people.”

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Opt knowing deep inside shit is real

Are they introverted or extroverted? Ext Social Mask smothers Int Self

Do they ever put on airs? Behind a humble facade, yes

What bad habits do they have? Bad love choices, bad alcohol choices

What makes them laugh out loud? Almost everything, espeacially myself

How do they display affection? Taking care, criticizing, keeping around

Mental handicaps? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAdefinitely

How do they want to be seen by others? Good, loyal, fun, reliable

How do they see themselves? A fucking mess

How are they seen by others? Funny, airhead, always late, immature

Strongest character trait? Sense of humor, devoted, very protective.

Weakest character trait? Can’t decide until last minute. A little angry ego.

How competitive are they? Mostly okay.

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? Both

How do they react to praise? STAHP IT. No, srsly, stop.

How do they react to criticism? War in my mind (less apocalyptical if it is a constructive one, not only mean)

What is their greatest fear? Not knowing. Also Alzheimer’s. Arachinae.

What are their biggest secrets? You wish. ~immaho~

What is their philosophy of life? Don’t rush, don’t hush, judge before trust.

When was the last time they cried? Some random song this week

What haunts them? Darkness, regret, violence, gone too soon

What are their political views? Good laws to protect and respect all people

What will they stand up for? Friends, animals, injustice.

Who do they quote? Bad obscure cartoon characters

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? in, love nature, but sun, heat, insects... ugh, PEOPLE

What is their sinful little habit? Can’t really tell, can I?

What sense do they most rely on? Very grateful for sight, but hearing

How do they treat people better than them? If only there was such people

How do they treat people worse than them? Politely evil. [if by worse you mean a bad person]

What quality do they most value in a friend? Loyalty

What do they consider an overrated virtue? Family need

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? Don’t overthink so much, be able to choose something and focus on it

What is their obsession? Music

What are their pet peeves? DON’T GO FUCKING CHANGING MY FUCKING PLAYLIST IN THE MIDDLE OF MY FUCKING SONG

What are their idiosyncrasies? It seems like I’ve been living in a musical for quite a while now.

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? Big, huge, love my siblings.

What is their perception of family? My space, your space, deal? [I don’t talk much to any of them]

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? I am the oldest, then there are 2 boys and 2 girls.

Describe their best friend. Ginger, unfair karma queen, the best.

Ideal best friend? A twin? [narcisist much?]

Describe their other friends. Easy going people, alcohol friendly, nighters

Describe their acquaintances. RMC, are you there?

Do they have any pets? Towanda, the cat. [Bridget, her sister, ran away]

Who are their natural allies? The walls at home?

Who are their surprising allies? The stage

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? Fat and smart

Did they grow up rich or poor? Okay, no big luxury, comfortable

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? Emotionally negleted

What is the most offensive thing they ever said? *bleep*

What is their greatest achievement? Living alone

What was their first kiss like? Ugh, mall stairs, f u Marie

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? Let them go

What are their ambitions? The world, rule it.

What advice would they give their younger self? You go and do that and speak up and enjoy the fuck of it!

What smells remind them of their childhood? Plumeria rubra scent

What was their childhood ambition? Be a scientist

What is their best childhood memory? Seing Santa Claus

What is their worst childhood memory? Hearing stepdouche doing mom

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? I don’t remember :^(

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? Pff! Good morning?!?!? Done.

What past act are they most ashamed of? Perform a Britney song to my steploser

What past act are they most proud of? Get into college

Has anyone ever saved their life? Not that I remember, but I did.

Strongest childhood memory? Making “herb-ice”

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? Yep

Are they in a relationship? Nope

How do they behave in a relationship? Ugh....... Not well

When did you character last have sex? Ahahaha HOW DARE YOU?

What sort of sex do they have? THERE ARE CHILDREN READIN[I’m Breathless track 3]

Has your character ever been in love? Yes...yes

Have they ever had their heart broken? You can’t love and not have your heart broken

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? Analysis and response

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue

What is your character’s kryptonite? A stupid thing to awnser

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? Books as a whole count? If not, my writings.

How do they perceive strangers? Fully.

What do they love to hate? Crocs [but I have one, FYI]

What are their phobias? Spidey, things falling [?!?]

What is their choice of weapon? Double 9mm OR Mr. Pointy

What living person do they most despise? Right awnser! SD! E FD.

Have they ever been bullied or teased? Hm... A fat gay boy in high school... I WONDER WHAT IT WAS LIKE?! [actually after a slow start I did very well socially in high school]

Where do they go when they’re angry? Smoke a cig... or 5

Who are their enemies and why? Toxic straight people, evil pocs, fascionistas bitches and unemployment.

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? English teacher

What do they think about their current job? I love my students

What are some of their past jobs? More of that. Also DJing

What are their hobbies? Assimilate culture

Educational background? College almost done than dropped

Intelligence level? ahahahah too much for my own good

Do they have any specialist training? Madonna 101: How to be a star and make fabulous detail-oriented tours and concept albums

Do they have a natural talent for something? Very bend-y. Can dance.

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? Long Time-distance Sleeping

What is their socioeconomic status? White privilege going bankrupt

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? Wolf and deer and unicorn

Which animal to they dislike the most? Eesh, besides arach-crew? Protozoa disturbs me

What place would they most like to visit? NY/Iceland/Japan

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? Every dawn is it.

What is their favourite song? HA! As if I could, but I got some. Down Under - Men At Work is a good one.

Music, art, reading preferred? Gimme gimme blood! All of it, Love art.

What is their favourite colour? Green. [is rainbow a color?]

What is their password? anime character

Favourite food: Potato, Nachos and Watermellon

What is their favourite work of art? The Virgin of the Rocks by Leonardo DaVinci.

Who is their favourite artist? Oh boy... Gustave Doré. Mucha is one of them. DaVinci is the most important in my life. Björk in music.

What is their favourite day of the week? Wednesday

Possessions

What is in their fridge: many spices, little actual food

What is on their bedside table? water, saline solution and toilet paper

What is in their car? nothing because it does not exist

What is in their bin? used tissues, nails, empty snacks packages

What is in their purse or wallet? lot of hygiene itens, umbrella, more toilet paper, some books, e-reader, chargers, sunglasses, water bottle, mess

What is in their pockets? trash, coins, keys, cellphone, ID

What is their most treasured possession? My books

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? A very tired one

Do they believe in the afterlife? Yes

What are their religious views? Go nature, fuck people

What do they think heaven is? Peace

What do they think hell is? This?

Are they superstitious? Yep, a litte

What would they like to be reincarnated as? A happy person with a happy life

How would they like to die? No pain, no fear.

What is your character’s spirit animal? Bridget Jones. Maybe a capybara.

What is their zodiac sign? Virgo [asc Aqu moon Lib ven Leo]

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Take away their freedom

What is their view of ‘freedom’? Being responsible for your own choices

When did they last lie? Some lines above SCANDAAAAAALL!!!!

What’s their view of lying? Sadly vital

When did they last make a promise? Last month

Did they keep or break their last promise? Hell yeah

Daily life

What are their eating habits? Bring it in

Do they have any allergies? Everything and nada, possible rhinitis.

Describe their home. Empty, quiet, books everywhere, clean but messy.

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? FREACKING HOARDER BOSS

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? Tea

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? Become one with the sofa

What do they do on a Friday night? Try to stay home, fails, go out

What is the soft drink of choice? Strawberry juice with condensed milk

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? Margarita [it is not a cocktail, but Bailey’s]

Miscellaneous

What is their character archetype? Chaotic Neutral towards Good [ENFp - #2w3]

Who is their hero? My fantasy autors, directors, painters.

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? Sailor Moon. Elvira. Scooby Doo. An Absolut bottle. Dorothy or Elphaba.

Are they comfortable with technology? Very

If they could save one person, who would it be? My older sibling.

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? Beyoncé

What is their favourite proverb? To know and not to do is not to know

What is their greatest extravagance? Eat good food without caring about the money

What is their greatest regret? Can’t recall any BIIIG one

What is their perception of redemption? To love fully, completely surrender to it, just because it feels right.

What would they do if they won the lottery? Give enough to my siblings be okay for their lives and then travel the world, never come back.

What is their favourite fairytale? Donkeyskin

What fairytale do they hate? Cinderella, too close to home maybe

Do they believe in happy endings? Yes

What is their idea of perfect happiness? Peace, freedom, money

What would they ask a fortune teller? How many children will I have?

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? Definetely the 80′s. Ancient Greece. Renaissence Italy. Feudal Japan. The Celts. And find out if there really was an Atlantis.

What sport do they excel at? Volleyball, gymnastics, can I say yoga?

What sport do they suck at? Most of them?

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? Read minds, teleport, being invisible, Luke Cage Skin, The Phoenix... any of this haha OY WITH THE POODLES ALREADY!! Ugh, endless!!!! 

Thank you for your endurance through this! Well, that’s a little lot about me! Hope it will awnser some of your questions as they pop up. You can always ask. So, that is done. Bye now, 

- Nikko, the Unikkorn King

original questionaire by https://www.novel-software.com/

[russellthornton]

30 All-Around Good Questions to Ask People for a Better Connection

Need good questions to ask people? Whether it’s to get to know someone new or connect with friends on a deeper level, you’ve come to the right place.

It is always smart to have good questions to ask people on hand. In a job interview? Meeting your boo’s parents? Or reconnecting with an old friend? All of these situations call for good questions to ask people.

Good question don’t just fill awkward silences, but they connect us with each other. They are what takes us from asking about the weather to discussing our hopes and dreams.

Why do you need good questions to ask people?

Are you always drawing a blank? Do you experience a lot of awkward silences? Or maybe you just want to get to know people a little better, but don’t know how to start.

There are different questions for each of these occasions. Some are more on the surface level and could be appropriate for anyone from your boss to your mail carrier while others are best suited for those you know already but want to get to know better. [Read: These questions will help you spark a conversation with anyone]

Good questions to ask people

From simple to deep to learning someone’s soul, here are several good questions to ask people.

#1 How did you get into that field? Whether you are chatting to your friend’s grandmother about her time selling L’Oreal products or chatting with someone in your doctor’s waiting room asking someone how they got started at their job is a bit better than just asking what their job is. [Read: Get-to-know-you questions that will help you bond with someone]

#2 What is your favorite clothing store? Not only is this a compliment on the style of whoever you’re speaking with, but it can be a good conversation starter too.

#3 Do prefer texting or talking on the phone? Say you just exchanged numbers with someone, whether it is a potential love interest or colleague, asking this question lets you know what to do moving forward. [Read: How to make new friends as an adult]

#4 Do you miss how things were before the internet? Anyone over the age of about 25 will have an answer to this. It is a good question to ask people because it opens your eyes to their priorities and perspectives. It can also open your mind too.

#5 What movie would you recommend to anyone? Not only can a chat about good movies last ages and create a wonderful bonding experience, but you could also get plenty of good movie recommendations out of it.

#6 Have you been anywhere new lately? This is a go-to, a classic if you will. Always go to the same restaurant? Now you’ve heard of someplace new to try out.

#7 What is the best comfort food? Yours might be mac and cheese, but someone else might say mashed potatoes or cereal. 

#8 What is the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself? Not only will this help you get to know what you can do for yourself, but it will also remind whoever you’re asking that it may have been a while since then and they deserve some pampering. [Read: 75 fun questions to ask a new friend and feel like BFFs in no time]

#9 Where do you think is the best vacation spot? This is a good question to ask people because it can lead to some pretty great stories about their wild vacation adventures.

#10 What do you think is worth splurging on? This can give you a lot of insight into what is important to someone and what they are interested in. Some would say a car and others would say a handbag or maybe even gifts for others.

#11 Do you like getting older? I always find this to be an interesting one. Some people don’t like getting older for vain reasons, others just feel like time is flying by and they haven’t been able to live enough. Then there are some that love aging.

#12 What is the best show on TV right now? Need a recommendation? Want to debate? This question has got you covered either way. [Read: How to do a Netflix and chill the right way]

#13 What food would you miss the most if it were gone forever? Whether you know someone well or just met, this is a question you will not foresee the answer to.

#14 What is your favorite age? Another weird question, but it is a good question to ask people nonetheless. Will they say the favorite age they have been or their favorite age of others?

#15 What animal thinks the most like a person? A dog lover will say a dog and a cat lover will say a cat, but what will others say? A monkey? Pigs are supposed to be very smart. And what about a shark? Or an elephant?

#16 If you could ask the president one question what would it be? If you don’t want to get political this may not be the best question to ask someone, but if you know things will stay respectful this is going to be different for everyone.

Some will ask about immigration policies, other about climate change, and many about the next election.

#17 What are the best and worst things about social media? A question for millennials for sure. Of course, others can answer, but millennials will likely have the most diverse answers that will lead to a full discussion. [Read: The good, the bad, and the ugly of social media explored]

#18 What do you think everyone has in common? This question can take a turn. Will people say we all need oxygen or water? Or will they talk about our souls and having empathy?

#19 What is your biggest pet peeve? With this question, you will know if you should avoid talking with your mouth full around them or make sure you answer their texts ASAP.

#20 Do you think people are born inherently good? We’re getting into the deeper questions. This is quite a doozy. Are bad people born bad or turned that way by society and other factors? Does everyone have the capability to be good?

#21 Do you think universal healthcare is a good idea? Personally, I hope everyone’s answer is yes, but having a healthy debate is well, healthy.

#22 What do you think are my best and worst qualities? Get to know yourself through the lens of how someone else sees you and answers this good question. Just be prepared. Some friends will be more honest and blunt than others. [Read: How to get to know yourself and reveal your life’s true passions]

#23 What is something about you that no one knows? Sharing secrets is a surefire way to grow your bond and connection. Just be prepared to open yourself up too. Friendship is a two-way street.

#24 What do you think your retirement will be like? This is something not enough of us think about. Will you ever retire? Do you think you’ll always want to work? Will you volunteer or chill out in front of the TV for the rest of your days?

#25 Do you want to have kids? Another question you may only want to ask someone you know a bit but want to know better. Talking about your future opens you up to new ideas and plans. And discussing such sensitive topics with someone close to you can let you see another side to something you may have already decided. [Read: 50 easy questions to test your relationship compatibility]

#26 What do you think about the current state of our country? Not the most cheerful question, but an important one nonetheless. At this time in the world, it is important to surround yourself with likeminded people who share the same beliefs as you.

#27 What is your biggest dream you fear will never come true? Not only can the answer to this question inspire your friend to reignite a passion, but it can let you become a pep talker too.

#28 Do you have any regrets? What are they? Can you change them now? How can you move on? Can you accept that and do better? Regrets are a hard thing to talk about, but once you do you can get a bit of closure and with that, you can move toward a less regretful future.

#29 Is there anything about yourself you wish you could change? This may not be the most confidence-boosting question, but it can become that. If you want to be more bold, more cautious, more knowledgeable, or less close-minded, admitting that can get the ball rolling. [Read: How to learn to love yourself more]

#30 Are you more afraid of failing health or running out of money? Although these tend to go hand in hand for many, expressing these fears that many of us share can be cathartic.  Not to mention, it can get you to think about your choices.

Are you spending too much? Are you eating a ton of junk food? When was the last time you worked out or ate an apple? Are you watching your budget?

[Read: The art of making the best first impression]

There are millions upon millions of good questions to ask people, but hopefully, these get you off on the right foot with someone new, an old friend, or anyone else you want to get to know better.

The post 30 All-Around Good Questions to Ask People for a Better Connection is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.