#maybe tyler manages the scarlet band

[skepticalcatfrog]

I've started learning how to play a drum set at my school and honestly. To be completely honest with you all. It's making me very tempted to make a TVD band au a la Daisy Jones

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #469

Top Ten Crazy WandaVision Theories

So all the while I was watching The Mandalorian I kept thinking, blimey, they’ve nailed this. There’s an oft-repeated problem with modern serial dramas, which is that they tend to tread water a little bit; despite being shorn of the network requirement of episodes being a certain length, or having a certain number of episodes in a season, there’s this in-built compulsion to make about a dozen 45-minute episodes. This is what scuppered the Marvel Netflix series in particular; there simply wasn’t enough story to cover the seasons, and as a result there was a lot of treading of water. This has also affected the recent Star Trek shows, although Discovery does show signs of pulling out of this “twelve-hour movie” mindset. Mando totally transcends this in a superlative way: each episode is basically an “adventure of the week” type thing (Mando versus spiders, Mando goes to the fish planet, Mando meets a Jedi, etc). But each episode also builds on the arc; he’s always on the same quest, and everything he does week by week furthers this quest. As much as I was looking forward to WandaVision, I kept reminding myself, there’s no way they can do this; no way these two shows – my most-anticipated shows from two of my most-beloved franchises – can hit the bar so successfully, back-to-back.

Well.

I’m not sure if WandaVision is quite the overall triumph The Mandalorian is, but they’re both pretty tremendous achievements in slightly different ways. Wanda manages to tell a rather unsettling story in the MCU whilst also doing a terrific job of parodying sitcom tropes; it works on a meta level as well as a practical one. Also, as far as puzzle-box type programmes go, this one has been doing an excellent job; week by week, you’re further intrigued by what’s going on in Westview; what’s real? Who’s behind it? is Vision still dead? Will Darcy get her own show? It’s a fantastic exercise in drip-feeding information, maintaining a degree of unease and suspense, and offering a compelling mystery. Will they keep it up until the end? I’ve no idea; the reveal at the end of episode seven wasn’t quite a jaw-on-the-floor moment but it was exquisitely done, with a theme song and everything. Even if the most obvious predictions end up being true and the finale becomes a relatively straightforward goodies-versus-baddies barney, I’ve got faith in everyone involved to at least give us something utterly compelling and thoroughly entertaining.

But what if there really is at least one huge surprise left up the show’s vibranium sleeve? Certainly, the reveal of Evan Peters as Pietro Maximoff – being, visually if not in character at least, the Fox/X-Men universe version of Wanda’s brother, rather than the Adam Taylor-Johnson version we knew from Age of Ultron – was a hell of a moment, seemingly bridging the gap between the MCU as we knew it and the previously Fox-controlled properties. Since then, there’s been this bubbling rumour (which I’ve tried not to read too much into by literally not reading too much; this is something I’ve divined from headlines or stray tweets, because I want to keep forging my way through WandaVision without a map) that there is another epic cameo approaching, on the level of Luke Skywalker popping up in the finale of The Mandalorian. That moment was something of a surprise, even though I had it rather spoiled by Twitter; despite muting as many words as possible to do with the show, “Luke Skywalker” still popped up in trending topics. I’ve learned my lesson, and I essentially forgo any social media (and a lot of other sites too) until I’ve seen the most recent episode. Anyway, what if this is true; what if there’s another character or moment that will rock the Marvel world to an even greater extent than The Other Pietro? If we’d be as surprised and delighted by something as much as we were by Luke making short work of those Dark Troopers? With this in mind, and being aware of the encroaching WandaVision finale, here are some predictions. What could happen? Who could we see? Which long-dormant plot thread will get resurrected? Read on to find out! And – spoiler warning – this has been revisited following the most recent episode; we are officially in the endgame now.

And I’m sure all of these are realistic and serious suggestions.

I Am Your Father: We have actually met Wanda’s parents at last; ordinary decent Sarkovian folk, it seems. But from where did her nascent witchy powers appear? What if, in a shocking last-minute twist, we discover her real father, and he’s played by… Ian McKellen! It was Eric all along!

SWORD versus Skrulls: a post-credit sting will reveal that – shock! – Tyler Hayward is, in fact, a SKRULL! Yes, finally, the shape-shifting buggers will get to be the baddies from the comics, as an up-to-no-good splinter faction of the beleaguered race makes its presence felt on the MCU, having successfully infiltrated world governments over the past thirty years. This will set up Samuel L. Jackson’s Secret Invasion series.

The Ultron of it All: there have been more mentions of Ultron in WandaVision than in any MCU property since, well, Age of Ultron. And now we have a custom-built all-white model of Vision, big as life and twice as creepy. What if – what if – shorn of his own psyche (his own soul?) and without an Infinity Stone to keep him upright, there remains in the hardware some remnant of everyone’s favourite sarky, genocidal mechanoid? Ultron returns! Screw you, planet Earth!

The Sorcerer Supreme is Not Happy: we know magic exists in the MCU because of Doctor Strange, so seeing Agatha and her family get their Hocus Pocus on in old Salem wasn’t too much of a surprise. But isn’t the Sorcerer Supreme supposed to keep an eye on magic use in the multiverse? I was half expecting Tilda Swinton to pop up in the flashback and bind Agatha with the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak. But now, with all the chaos magic Wanda is using in Westview, coupled with Agatha’s own spelling bee? Surely this has drawn the attention of somebody? Anybody? I mean, New York isn’t that far from Jersey, especially if you’ve got a sling ring, y’know?

No More Avengers: so Benedict Cumberbatch popping up wouldn’t be that much of a surprise (especially as Wanda is in the next Doctor Strange movie) but even if he’s not on Magic Police duty, wouldn’t an enhanced situation of this size draw the attention of one of the Avengers? Except – shock horror! – there are no Avengers! In a revelation that will set up the status quo of Falcon and the Winter Soldier, since the events of Endgame the Avengers literally don’t exist. So who will unite to save the world, not just from Wanda or Agatha, but also from the likes of SWORD? Well, right now, no one; but maybe that’ll change when the real villains appear…

No More Mutants: in the “House of M” storyline, Wanda very famously said “no more mutants” and it was so (more or less). Mutants don’t (seem to) exist in the MCU. But what if, at one point, they did? I don’t think this could have been Wanda’s doing, but what if in the past someone else had used magic to de-power/de-mutify the existing mutant population of Earth, and – basically – made everyone forget about it? And in the climax of WandaVision, well, “no more” is undone and – boom! – X-genes abound. This could even maybe set up some events in The Eternals, who I believe have some history with mutants in the comics (I’m really not very well-versed in Eternals lore)

Soul Stealer: so Wanda’s the Scarlet Witch, and a chaos magician, and super-enhanced courtesy of an Infinity Stone, but still: how did she create not one but three super-powered lifeforms? Where did they come from? Did she steal their souls? Is she leeching her own life-force to maintain them? I think we’ll discover a bit more about her powers and reveal that she’s drawing energy mutliversally, maybe from the Dark Dimension – maybe from Mephisto? I’d actually put money on Mephisto not showing up at all, despite his comic book connections to Agatha and Wanda.

Multiversal Madness: why that Pietro? He’s just a fake, just an automaton – right? But he’s still out and about spooking Monica whilst Agatha’s dealing with Wanda… yeah? And he looks like another Pietro from another universe (even if he doesn’t act like that). So… why? And who? I really, really think there’s some kind of multiversal craziness going on here, some force beyond Wanda (and Agatha!). Maybe it’s to do with Wanda pulling power from across the multiverse, maybe it’s… something else. Maybe we’ll get cameos from Lou Ferringo, Bruce Campbell, Spider-Ham and ROM the Space Knight. Hey, don’t forget: Transformers was a Marvel comic once! And they do have a Chaos-Bringer…

Wanda Did It: one of the prevailing theories/queries about WandaVision has been who’s behind it all. Wanda’s not powerful enough (or villainous enough), so who exactly did create TV Westview? Who brought Vision back, gave Wanda her sons? Well, the latest ep sure seemed to show that it really was Wanda All Along. The explanation being that she’s “the Scarlet Witch”, a presumably hella-powerful sorcerer and also (let’s not forget) imbued with Infinity Stoniness. But is she on her own really that strong, and would she – even in her despair – alter so many minds? What if there’s another Wanda, a Wanda prepared to go all-out, a Wanda who – after losing everything on her Earth is trying to recreate it by pooling her powers will another Wanda? An alternate universe, more damaged, more villainous Wanda – a Wanda who’s already said “no more mutants”, maybe; maybe even the Wanda from the Fox X-Men films (who AFAIK we’ve only seen as a little girl in her brother’s arms). That’s why Pietro looks like that, because she’s trying to rebuild her own life using the powers of this other Wanda. Two Wandas; two Witches. Dukin’ it out. And who can come to save the day, but the X-Men?

We’re All Doomed: giving credit to my brother for pointing me in this direction when he said “if there’s a big bad in WandaVision it either has to be someone very good at magic or very good at science”. Or… both? Think about it. Which character, if they cameoed in an MCU property, could possibly generate as much excitement as Luke Skywalker in The Mandalorian? No actor from the MCU; not even Downey. From another Marvel property? We’ve had a Fox actor already and with the rumours about Spider-Man: No Way Home, whether we saw Hugh Jackman or Tobey Maguire, I think that would be exciting but not as exciting. So I think it’s a character, not an actor. A character big and exciting enough to make us all squee. And which character from Marvel has never been seen in the MCU, is not necessarily expected any time soon, is very good at magic and very good at science? One. I’d say only one. Bring it on.

This actually became a lot more sensible than I’d intended! I was gonna go all-out, rolling in Muppet Babies, MODOK, HERBIE, the Phoenix Force, and basically the entire Patton Oswalt speech from Parks and Recreation. And whilst I think virtually none of these will (or should?!) happen, just imagine… man, I can’t believe we have to wait a week!