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that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main · 2 years

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Being Franks Daughter in Hawkins pt 12

Gif Caption: Top Gif: Frank Castle from Marvel's Punisher Bottom Gif: Steve Harrington from Netflix's Stranger Things

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Reader: 17-18 | female reader

Characters Mentioned: Frank Castle (MCU), Matt Murdock (MCU), Marc Spector/Steven Grant (MCU), Peter Parker (MCU), Curt Hoyle (MCU), Dinah Madani (MCU), Karen Page (MCU), Natasha Romanoff (MCU), Yelena Bolovia (MCU), Steve Roggers (MCU), Buck Barnes (MCU), Billy Hargrove (ST), Steve Harringotn (ST), Dr.Sam Owens (ST), Joyce Byers (ST), Will Byers(ST), Mike Wheeler (ST), Jim Hopper (ST) Nancy Wheeler (ST), Lucas Sinclair (ST), Dustin Hednerson (ST), Max Mayfeild (ST), Jonathan Byers (ST) Eleven (ST)

A/n: YEAH SEASON 2 TIMELINE COMPLETE

Warnings: sad :( past trauma, blood, my spelling is completely shit bc i didnt go back and look through it sorry

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You cant exactly what happened next

Maybe it had happened all to fast.

Your head spinning so much,

You remember something about the kids cheering you on, about something.

"Hey...hey there badass your alright."

Y/n blinked, she turning her head, "...dustin?...what?"

"Lets just call it a mental breakdown...with induced pain from your wounds." Dustin spoke, "Steve tried to help."

"But you had a fight or flight response." Mike added. "He the flight part and you the fight part."

"You knocked him straight on his ass." Dustin spoke, "and knocked him out."

"What?" Y/n asked now awake looking around.

"Take this left! Left!" Lucas shouted Y/n looking at the driver seat, Max.

Looking around ahe syafted to freak out.

"WOAH! WOAH! WOAH!"

"WHAT!?" Steve shouted getting up as well from his previous state of knocked the fuck out he looking around.

"Calm Down!" Dustin tried to persuade.

"Thats not right man!" Y/n shouted looking at Max driving.

"She's drove before!" Lucas argued.

"Who!?-" Steve asked before seeing Max drivin.

He joined the screaming with Y/n in telling her to stop and pull over.

"Im trying to focus!" Max shouted.

"Left! Left Max!"

"Okay! Okay!"

"Holy Shit!" The two teens shouted.

You didnt even bother asking where you were all going

But when Max slammed on the breaks you all in farm land.

You had an idea where you were.

Everyone unpiled from the car you falling out holding your side.

"Max. Max. What are we doing here?"

"Burning the shit out of the upside down."

"Alright...yeah...alright. burn the shit." Y/n explained getting up, just to fall back down to her knee "or maybe not..."

"Shit! Guys!" Max called, "shes bleedibg through her shirt!"

The group rushed over.

"Shit..." Steve looked over her, lifting her shirt up, Bandages soaked in blood.

"Tape Henderson?" Y/n asked, Dustin throwinv her a roll of tape, she taping her abdomen up, grunting along the eay, "Lets tourch a bitch."

"Badass." Dustin cheered as Y/n walked off.

Steve looked over at Dustin with a 'really' look.

You were glad you could ask Mike for a fill in, you helping all the kids drop down, making sure they all have there make shift protective wear up and on.

And you fight with Steve to go first

You end up just pushing him out the way to go forward.

What are you gonna do with two little Hatchets and some knives?

Alot. You could do alot.

He just wants to protect you

Even if your a big bad ass, he cant help but like the helpless princess being saved by the prince type of shit

Except this time the princess is a bad ass that's mroe ripped than most of the guys at school

Still hot either way

Not to lie, watching you take command...

God he's gotta ask you out

Wait-

He's falling in love all over again, its pretty clear with the way he stares at you throughout the entire thing.

Stabbing a demon dog? Wow Being a badass making a quick Molotov Cocktail? Elite.

"What the hell..." Dustin mummbled, Y/n turning her head.

"Dustin?"

"What is that-"

"Spore! Get down!"

Tackling Dustin to save him?

Absolutely.

You were quick to help him up and pull him along.

"I swear. If one of these little shits die." Y/n mummbled.

You drag him along, making it to this. Supposed hub.

You were all quick to soak the area Gas, spray down walls and ceilings, No stone is left unsoaked.

It was an easy task, till you all set the shit ablaze

Ah yes

Running for your fucking lives

Dont we all at some point.

You keep yourself in the back this time, making sure no one is left behind.

So when Mike falls because of a vine your quick to help him up and push him along with the sound of Dustin's pet growling in the background

Points to Dustin's for always carring legendary Three Musketers with him.

Because apparently Demodogs love Nought.

Who would have guessed?

You all rush past the busy Demo dog and start helping everyone back up the rope.

The kids first of course, leaving you and Steve at the bottom.

"Go up first!" Y/n ordered.

"No!"

"Fucking Go!-"

She was cut off by growling and screeching, what was one demodog had to be atleast 20 now.

"Get up the rope." Y/n ordered, "now."

"I don't get it. Why are you the one in danger all the time!" Steve argued, "You go up the rope!"

"Not the time to arguing now you guys!" Dustin called from above the demodogs coming around the corner.

"Because last time I let someone go infront of me! Or behind me THEY DIED. You get it now!" Y/n argued, "They DIED because of me. ME."

"Behind you!"

Y/n turned around the lot of Demodogs pulling a Hatchet out, just for them to all run past the two.

Fuck...the kids are gonna have heart attacks before there 18.

You both end up save and sound.

And as your coming up, the car lights blind you, they becoming ridiculously bright

God. You get it Billy's flashy, but thats excessive.

The bright light in the last thing you remember seeing.

Passing out again? Absolutely.

Bleeding out? Yeah that sounds like you.

Your taken to Joyce's house, we're everyone regroups.

And you're passed out on the couch, bleeding out.

Steve's in full panic mode, not exactly sure how to handle the major wounds

He can only apply pressure with the kids in a worried state

But luckily Frank's one of the first through the door

Frank takes control on the situation while Steve as much as he wants fo help, is having a freak out.

He's stuck in the bathroom, scrubbing his hands, no matter how much he picks and scrubs his hands are tinted red.

"Need some help?"

He turns his head, its Nancy holding a bottle of rubbing alcholol.

"I'm sure Y/n needs that more than me."

"Don't worry. Mr.Castiglione has plenty for her." Nancy told, setting the bottle down besides the soap.

Steve nodded, "thanks..."

"No problem..." Nancy spoke leaning against the wall, watching Steve try and rid his hands of Y/n's blood, he wincing, "burns."

"Must've scrubbed too hard." Nancy told, "let me see."

Steve gave her a hand, his other turning the water off.

"Defenitly scrubbed your hands raw." Nancy told.

Steve chuckled, "...yeah...got the better of me."

Nancy's hands were cold and soothing on Steve's. His hand relaxing in hers in relief.

"What happened here?" Nancy asked looking at Steve's split eyebrow and brusie forming on his face.

"Y/n." Steve told.

"She hurt you?"

"What? No. Yes- Not on purpose. She. She had a moment is all." Steve told and then went quiet in thought, "...I can't imagine what she goes through...what she's been through."

"We've all been through a lot." Nancy told him.

He looked at her and nodded, we had an unlining, me and you, and the others. Others implied anyone but Y/n at this point.

She smiled smally at him, then raised her head to kiss his cheek far too close to his lips to not have double meaning.

"We'll be okay."

You woke up on Joyce's table. An easy place to operate on you.

Confused you tried to sit up, but Curt stopped you,

"Hey. Hey. It's me."

"Citrius? That you man?" Y/n asked with a groan.

"Glad to see the jokes don't waver when you're almost KIA." He explained.

Y/n smiled weakly, "What are you doin here?"

"Frank called. Those mutts went after us too."

Y/n nodded, "Hey there. You alright?"

Y/n looked over to see Karen, Madani and Parker.

"Yeah. Just wanna sit up." Y/n told, Peter helping her up and off the table into a chair, "is everyone alright?"

"God look at you." Karen spoke holding Y/n's face carefully, "You're asking if we're all okay and look at you."

Y/n smiled small.

"Someone needs to stop hanging around this one." Madani explained.

"Hey. I am a very good influence." Peter defended.

A knock on the door wall intruppting them.

"Hi...:

Y/n smiled seeing Will, "Hey."

He looked at her worriedly before she lifted up an arm signalling for a hug, he was careful walking over, before Y/n dragged him into a big squeeze.

"Im sorry." He apologized.

"Its okay." Y/n responded, "You think this was bad? You should see Banner when he freaks out. Full on 7 foot green goblin comes out. You think the Mind Flayers bad? See Banner when he doesnt have milk in his coffee."

Will looked up at you as you smiled at him.

"Plus I've always got you back kid."

You're so glad that he's okay now, that everyones okay

When Frank comes in the room, from checking on Joyce seeing your up, you've never gotten up so quick to hug him.

That means almost all your friends are safe.

You don't know about Steven/Marc or Matt yet.

"What about-"

"Everyone's alright." Frank told her, "One's helping patch the kids up the other's helping clean up glass on the floor"

Y/n sighing hugging Frank tighter, he kissing the top of her head. Then pulled away from her.

"You ever. Ever. Do some stupid shit like that again. I swear." He threatened.

"Oh. So just don't act like you." Y/n defended with a smile.

He only shook his head, pulling her into another hug

"Hug her any harder and you'll bust all her stiches." Curt warned.

You just need a nap at this point.

But before you do that you got to make sure each of those kids get home first.

It takes about an hour, but everyones home and finally safe.

You and the gang actually end up spending the night of Joyce's.

The next day comes around and your pancakes on the floor with Will and the group.

All unphased by the taped up window, and Wills drawings still making a map.

The news is on, there closing Hawkin's lab,

Thank god.

Plus those Pancakes your dad made for everyone are real good.

You can't help but thing whats next for Hawkins

Is the Upside down truly gone? Or does it never go away?

Life kinda goes back to normal, the group saying they'll never come back to visit you guys, a joke of course.

Matt telling you he's proud of you and he'll see you when you come for trainning.

Its news To Peter's ears of course and he's super excited to hang out with you.

You tell him you've gotta finish up the semester first

Everything's.

Oddly okay after the whole situation, You feel like you lost people more of gained anybody.

You spend you last days of highschool alone. You know despite Johnathan talking to you during Lunch and Munson harassing you during class.

But Billy. Everytime he sees you he doesnt talk to you, there's not even a look.

And Steve, Steve just avoids you

But with the semester ending with the Winter Months.

Its either now or never.

Its. Well. The day you're leaving, with a duffle bag of your things you're putting them in the trunk of the car.

Natasha's come to pick you up, with a few others, most for entertainment reasons.

"I can still stay." Y/n spoke hands in the pockets of her dad's old poncho, a good luck charm she had taken from him.

Frank only pulls her into a hug, Y/n hugging him back, "You'll be back sooner than you know. You'll be begging me to go back."

Y/n laughed, it cracking as she tried not to cry i to his chest.

"Don't. Die." Y/n defended pulling away, and pushing him in his chest, "Im really not trying to fight Mephisto to come and get you back."

He chuckled, kissing her head, "Go. Before I end up changing my mind."

Y/n nodded, walking off the porch, "Love you dad."

"I love you too kid."

You had to pratically run to the car so you wouldn't plant your feet and not go like Frank ordered.

Natasha was kinda good with emotions, and always had your back, she was patient enough to let you go and say goodbye to everyone independently.

You were standing at the Wheelrs door, the bikes on the lawn told you, the kids were there.

"Just Knock!" Yelena shouted from the car, "You know. With a fist. And tap on the door!"

"I know how to knock!" Y/n shouted back at her.

"Really?" Barnes asked.

"What? She needed help." Yelena told.

Raising a hand to the door she knocked and surprisingly Mr.Wheeler answered it.

"And you are?"

"Oh. Mr.Wheeler hi, Im. Frank's daughter. Remember?" Y/n asked.

"You must be here for Nancy."

"Mike. Actually." Y/n told, "May I see him?"

"Karen!" Ted shouted.

"What!" She sounded annoyed.

"Where is our son?" He asked.

"Downstairs with his friends!"

Mr.Wheeler let her in, "Basement stairs are just down the way. Through the kitchen."

"Thanks." Y/n responded, following Mr.Wheeler's advice.

Mrs.Wheeler was cooking in the kitchen, Holly at the bar island a she played with her toy, she turned her head seeing Y/n walk in.

"Pretty lady!" She cheered getting out her chair to run over.

"What are you doing in my house?" Mrs.Wheeler asked.

"Saying goodbye to Mike." Y/n responded.

"You have nothing to say to my son. Not after what you did to my daughter." Mrs.Wheeler told, "get away from her Holly."

Y/n nodded, she had done nothing to Nancy, "Mom! Do we have-"

Y/n turned her head seeing Mike, "Y/n!"

"Hey." Y/n smiled.

"Guys! Y/n's here!" He called.

Footsteps were heard like a stampede, the group excited to see her.

"Hey! What's going on! Aliens with lasers!? Is Thor here!?" Dustin cheered.

"If he's here he's a little late." Max added, "Did Loki come with him?"

Y/n chuckled, "No. No one special is here."

They all awed in a bummed move.

"You're playing D&D with us then?" Will asked.

"Yeah! You should totally stay!" Lucas added.

"No. I've come to say goodbye actually."

"Goodbye?" El asked.

Y/n nodded, "Im going back to New York-"

"What!?" They asked shocked.

"You can't leave!" Lucas complained.

"Yeah!" Dustin added, "You and Steve make the perfect baby sitting duo!"

"Im coming back don't worry." Y/n informed, "But I am leaving for. A while."

"How long's a while?" El asked.

"Just. A while." Y/n responded, unsure of how long she'd be.

"You're gonna send back super cool photos tho! Right!? Postcards from space and shit?" Dustin asked.

"I will send you all postcards." Y/n told, "but for now. I've got to go. I've got other houses to go by."

They all held frowns group hugging her tight, she smiled hugging them back the best she could.

Max held on the longest, "You're gonna come back though."

"Asgardian honor." Y/n smiled, "Plus. I've gotta take you to Asgard one day-"

"You're going to Asgard!?" Dustin asked, "Great! She's becoming a God! Whats next Vahalla!?"

"You idiot thats where the dead go." Lucas argued.

"Oh. Don't go there then." Dustin told.

Y/n smiled at the group, and nodded, "I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah." Will spoke, Y/n looking at Mrs.Wheeler.

"Goodbye Mrs.Wheeler. than you for letting me say goodbye." She told and then started to leave.

"Mom who's here-"

Nancy was coming down the stairs as Y/n was leaving.

They both quiet as they looked at one another, "Goodbye Nancy." Y/n told, opening the door to leave.

"Y/n!!" Yelena complained from inside the car.

"Yeah! Yeah Im coming!"

The group of kids followed her outside.

"Is that..." Mike started.

Steve Roggers leaning against the car, waiting for Y/n to come back.

"....thats Captain America."

Roggers opened the door for Y/n, she getting in the car and he getting in the back.

Y/n waved to them one last time.

"Go! Go!" Lucas shouted, they all rushing forward as Natasha started down the street.

"Y/n! Y/n!" They shouted running after the car.

"Fanclub much?"

They ran along side the car, "You're gonna be the best damn Aveneger ever!" Will shouted.

"Yeah! A total badass!" Mike added.

Some of them falling behind with the moving vehicle.

"Don't take everything on by yourself!" Max shouted.

The last of them fell behind, the car moving too quick for them to keep up.

"You're one of the best damn baby sitters ever!" They shouted together.

Baby sitter?

You bet there all pokin fun at you now.

Till you tell them you took your kids of a dimensonal day trip

Respected Avenger approve Baby Sitter now

Natasha stops you at Steve's house next

Steve answers the door, alone at home once again.

"Hey..." Steve started, "How...how are you..."

Y/n nodded, "good...good."

"Great."

It's silent for a moment.

"I-"

"No. You go first-"

"Okay-"

The two laugh, both nervous with voices over lapping each other.

"Yeah. You first. If you want." Steve told.

Y/n nodded, "Yeah...So...I'm leaving for New York."

"Wow. Thats. Thats Great!" Steve smiled, "Im happy for you, Nice to be going home...."

Y/n smiled, "Yeah, snows great in the city. Real pretty..."

"Maybe I can...take you out...ya know...before you leave. Tommorow Moring? I know a great waffle place." Steve told, "Plus...we have alot...well I...have a lot to tell you....and Im. Im real sorry for ignoring you, and avoiding you- i. It's..."

Y/n looked down at her hands, "it...its okay..."

He looked at her concerned, "You're not leaving soon. You're leaving now. Aren't you?"

"Yeah." Y/n spoke finally looking back into his gaze, "Bye Harrington."

She turned around walking back towards the car, he watching the black car drive off.

If you thought that was hard, this last stop was going to be harder

Natasha had known about Harrington, but she knew even more about Hargrove

He had been your first friend in Hawkins.

So While Yelena complained about stopping

Again

You got out, Natasha grabbing your arm.

"You know. If you need back up on this one. I'm on it."

Y/n nodded getting out.

"Wait she's gonna go kick ass?" Yelena asked, "I wanna go."

She walked up to the door, knocking on it, Susan answering it.

"Hi. Ms.Mayfeild."

"Hello. Can I help you?"

Y/n nodded, "Billy home?"

"In his room dear."

Y/n nodded, "thank you."

Y/n walked through the house, knocking on Billy's door, music playing loud like always. She opened it.

"What-"

He stopped seeing her standing there. Her face lightly scarred up, the most notebale a scar that cut through her eyebrow.

"Hey."

He turned off the music, the two standing there akwardly, Y/n closing the door behind her.

"Just. Come to say goodbye." Y/n spoke.

"Where you goin?" He asked leaning against his wall a pack of cigrattes now in his hand.

"Back to New York." Y/n told, "dad things its the best choice. Some superhero trainning as the kids call it."

"Well you've become what you didnt want to." He spoke setting a cigratte in his lips, "Congrats."

Billy's lighter sparked, he trying to get a steady flame.

"You know." Y/n responded, "no one knows still."

The flame finally held as he was still for a moment then lit his cigratte, "thanks..."

"I don't break pinky promises." Y/n told him, "never had. Never will. Those things are serious you know."

Billy chuckled softly letting it die off into his cigratte as he took another puff.

"I shot first." He spoke up, "Why act like I didn't."

"Because I understand what it's like." Y/n responded, "I got lucky...I got real lucky that Im not in your shoes no more...there was a guy..Arthur Walsh before I was a Castle."

Billy was silent, intently listening.

"I thought he was...this. god. Almost. Helped me. Helped..My older brother. Who you think is gonna protect you just ends up hurting you instead. I was embarssed, my brother was embarrassed. So when you told me what your dad did to you." Y/n told sighing, making her way over to him, "I just. Wanted to floor him so hard. Right then and there. Infront of it all. Infront of everyone. But its hard to get passed the embarssed part. I understand but once you get past that point and you see it, its a fight or flight response. So. Like you asked. Even though I wanted to. So, I didn't tell anyone."

Y/n didn't receive a response she nodding, "I'll send you a post card Hargrove."

"Wait."

She stopped, turning back towards him, "You gave me a run for my money. Just like our first basketball game."

Y/n chuckled lightly, "Just a bit. You got a good hit on me too."

He smiled, unable to contain it, puttinv out his cigratte, "Im gonna miss you City Bird."

Y/n smiled, "Im gonna miss you to Hargrove-"

She was shocked by the hug given to her. But smiled hugging him back.

Feeling something else wrap around her he pulled away, "Not gonna forget me now."

"Hey-" Y/n started, "Im comin back."

"Not soon enough. If you're dieing out there. Atleast die with it on."

Y/n chuckled the brown worn leather jacket sitting on her shoulders, "hey. If Im dieing. Im takin you with me."

He laughed, Y/n smiling at him, "You never change City Bird."

"You'd Miss me too much if I did." Y/n told, "So. See you later?"

She lifted up a pinky to him.

"See you later hero," Billy interlinked pinky's with her.

"You can be the hero next time Billy. Deal?"

"Deal."

Oh how she wish she never made that deal

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lovecolibri · 2 years

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I'm so mad they decided to cut those what 4 seconds of terrified eddie looking at buck? For what? Knowing life and death of the spiderman guy? It's me or since KR is in charge the setup for the calls lasts a lifetime? Honestly who cares about these strangers?

I know a lot of people are happy with how the breakdown scene played out and found it true to character and that’s fine! I personally am *slayed* by that clip that to me looks like Eddie just spilled out the line about them all being dead and has gone back to sobbing and then looks up at Buck, absolutely terrified of the judgment and disappointment he’s so sure he’s going to see, while we know Buck is nothing but understanding and brokenhearted to see someone he loves so much hurting so deeply. I think that’s incredibly powerful, and giving us a moment where Eddie realizes he’s not alone and Buck is going to hold things together so Eddie doesn’t have to, even if it’s just a moment where he leans into Buck and draws some strength from him before Buck goes to let Chris know his dad is okay would have been something to witness. I also personally think that the cut to after Buck has already gotten Eddie up and calmed down, gotten Chris calmed down, and put to bed was jarring, and I also thinks we should have at least seen part of Eddie destroying the room if nothing else.

I just think that seeing Buck’s interactions with Chris, Buck breaking down the door and listening to Eddie briefly, and then Buck coming back to talk to Eddie after putting Chris to bed sort of ends up centering the whole thing around Buck’s presence. His presence IS important, and I’m thrilled we got to see it, but I would have liked getting a fuller measure of the breakdown from Eddie’s POV, maybe hearing something from Chris as Buck is putting him to bed as well. IDK, I just wanted more focus on Eddie about the breakdown instead of it sort of being tacked on to the end of the episode and then never talked about outside of brief mentions between Eddie/Buck and Eddie/Bobby. We had more scenes of every team member showing concern and commenting on L’s inability to handle getting lucky on a call and having a tantrum about it than we did seeing any of them worrying about Eddie, (even if they didn’t hear the full extent of what happened) and I think THAT is what is so irritating to me about knowing there was more footage out there and instead we got a 10 minute set up for a call that easily could have started when May answered the homeowner’s 9-1-1 call.

I won’t say that this is entirely a new thing and all on KR, because the show has spent time on call setups before but I think it’s been more noticeable because we haven’t been getting time for the things we WANT to see and the long set ups are for characters we don’t need to connect with! They only had that short set up scene with the three old men and we were still able to connect with the idea of 3 guys having been friends for most of their lives! Or look at Stuck and that escalator call! That one has me in shambles every time and we only see the briefest moment of him picking out the box for the ring! A longer set up when there is something in the story they want us to connect with our mains, or as just a little bit of fun to ease the tension elsewhere in the episode is something they’ve done before, but I can tell you I can’t think off the top of my head of any emergency where I was conscious that the set up was taking forever and wasn’t really needed, or had a thought of “are we getting to the point any time soon?” until season 5. They seem to be getting a little more back on track with the focus on the main character’s storylines so maybe that will help with that feeling but every time I get to the end of an episode and think about how there was a really good character moment I wished we had seen, I can’t help but look back at some of the longer emergency set ups and wonder why that was the thing that got kept instead of some of the character work.

#my sweet nonnie friends #911 #911 spoilers

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docholligay · 4 years

Text

Requiem for the Grand Consummation

Angstober prompt was: Michiru, breakdown 1900 words, and I hope you....uh, enjoy it? In as much as anyone enjoys Angstober?

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. It matters little what you feel.The flame might tear and burn, the steam might hiss, but you are a creature of the coldest sea, and to all appearances, you will only ever be calm and shimmering. She had been trained in all of this since she was a young child, the subtle art of composure.

To compose oneself. She thought of it often, this turn of phrase, this way of putting a smooth coat on the roughness of mortal feelings. One composed a symphony as well, and she could not note that it was too terribly different. The art of taking inelegant bursts of air and furious strokes of string on string, and turning them into something beautiful. Something calming, and erudite, inviting commentary on the art. Perhaps not all people made symphonies of their own emotions, but Michiru Kaioh would note that she was an artist in all things, and perhaps her earliest lesson was in this.

So Michiru Kaioh dressed in her neat couture, and sat straight as she sipped at champagne in the tea lounges of the upper class, and accepted condolences with that same cool, impersonal affect with which it was given. She composed, and the orchestra played on, and no one could have possibly noted that the young widow was anything other than a perfect example of the stiffly pressed perfection and breeding of the upper classes.

A sheet of ice covered the sea, and it shimmered and sparkled and did not waver or buckle as the waves churned beneath it.

But ice can only ever be cold, and be taken as such, whatever may lie beneath, and one can hardly blame those unfamiliar with the sea for seeing little else.

“Oh, like Michiru even fuckin’ cares.” Mina swigged back a beer, despite being in the middle of what was, ostensibly, a senshi meeting, “since when has she ever kept anything from last season, you know?”

Mako shrugged and nodded along with Mina, the two guards, one of them telling the truth, and one lying, and both blocking Michiru from a calm exit of the conversation.

“We need a new Sailor Uranus.” Mako added, though not unkindly.

The gentleness was meant less for Michiru and more for Usagi, who wailed in protest.

“We can’t! We can’t let someone else wear her tiara, because, because--” she let out a sniffle and a small sob, “--they won’t be her!!”

“Indeed,” Michiru added, almost a whisper to herself, “who could be?”

Rei drew her arms around Usagi. “She wouldn’t be, Usagi.” She kissed Usagi’s temple, “But she’ll be a different Sailor Uranus. But she won’t replace Haruka.”

Ami touched Usagi’s arm. “Whoever it is already has been given the power. She’s probably scared, Usagi. We can help her. We can teach her.”

Michiru folded her hands in her lap, and composed herself. Twist the brass into submission. Quell the drums. The strings do not shriek, but sing, in your hands. She softened her eyes and relaxed her face, and her shoulders fell straight and sleek under her silk blouse.

“So we don’t have a choice anyway.” Mina poured the beer down her throat and crunched the can, “We get to her or the enemy does. Sailor Uranus is dead,” a violin string snapped, “long live Sailor Uranus.”

Usagi nodded, sobbing into Rei’s shoulder, and Mako rubbed her on the back as the silence settled in, rain falling in the background as the cool wet air sneaked in the cracks old and new, whispering in small holes in sweaters, aching through slender gaps of clothing.

Michiru rose to her feet, and smoothed her linen skirt.

“Well, then, it seems decided,” She took her purse from the table, “Pluto, I assume you will have little trouble locating this person, given your affinity with the power of the moon. You certainly located us easily enough.” She nodded to Mina. “If there’s no further business, madame chairman.”

“Go on,” she shrugged, “be my fucking guest.”

Michiru did not allow herself to crescendo to Mina’s anger, simply walked to the door where her umbrella sat waiting, the fine leather of her Italian made shoes spattered so lightly with the rain’s cruelties that you would be forgiven for not noticing them. Fine leather blends well.

She opened the door, only for a small, insistent hand to close it in her face. She did not turn her head, for there was no need, only that same discordant note wishing to throw off all symphonies as she herself had been.

“I confess the vagaries of being your guest do somewhat bewilder me.” She shook off her umbrella. “May I help you?”

Mina took her hand away from the door, her eyes never leaving Michiru’s face.

“You’re so hollow inside, I wonder if her scream’s still echoing there, or if you just...absorbed it.” MIna shook her head, and their eyes met, “Did you ever love her?”

“You are a cruel person, at heart, Minako Aino. But I suspect you know that.” She opened the door and her umbrella both, in one fluid motion, “Haruka’s taste was always a bit self-flagellating, wasn’t it? Choosing us.” She stepped out into the rain. “Not all of us are so prone to drunken dramatics.”

“Fucking leave, Michiru.”

“Oh, are we precisely certain I have your leave?”

MIna slapped the door in her face, but Michiru did not justify the cymbal crash with so much as the raise of an eyebrow.

It took her longer than she might have expected to return to that yawning condo in a sparkling building, the rain settling on the windows in a single sheet, beginning to freeze until it weighed to heavy before dramatically cracking and falling to the ground.

Her apartment was the same as it ever had been, neatly appointed, and her girl had left a bottle of champagne and a plate of olives and cheese in the fridge, as requested. They said good help was hard to find, but Michiru did not agree with this assessment. Good help was very easy to find, so long as one’s wallet was sufficiently open.

She popped the bottle with its percussive note, the bubbles rising to the surface of the glass in their high accenting chirps. When had she changed into her robe and gown? She couldn’t remember, but it hardly mattered. It was perfectly acceptable for a woman alone in her apartment to lounge a bit in the evening.

The glasses went down fast, tonight. Mina had not been wrong to say that she was hollow, for no matter how much she drank, Michiru could not fill that deep, dry well inside of her. Or maybe it had always been full, but full only of the sea, bitter and cold, withering everything that drank it.

MIna had been right about another thing. She was cruel and a liar, but she hadn’t lied then. That well inside her heard the screams, and it echoed high above the elegiac symphony of her own heart and soul, far beyond taming. It dulled the song and it slipped under the ice, and it screamed and screamed and screamed.

She staggered to her feet. She was conducting, but the players were beginning to falter, playing their own tunes, Mozart against Tchaikovsky, Salieri coming through the back, a note of Monteverdi, the piano player hammering out Chopin’s softness with an indelicate rage. It was too loud for the small apartment, the clashes and bangs of instruments no longer obeying that leader. What a fool she ever was to believe that she could have brought them to heel with a small stick!

No one had asked the conductor how she tired, how rebellious the woodwinds, how obstinate the percussion, and how difficult it could possibly be to coordinate it all on a bucking sheet of ice. And who could blame them? They had not seen the difficulty, for Michiru never allowed this to be difficult. It was her own perfection that led to this grand revolution, every carefully chosen note deciding its own fate in this moment, in an apartment which once held something killed by cold, a daisy in December.

Michiru flung wide the doorway to that elegant balcony, the lines of song which had been straight and true twisting themselves into the wrought iron, mocking her composition. Her composure. She stared at them, glass still in her hand, and they rocked and moved and then they were the waves of the sea, clashing against that ice as the rain fell around her. It built and built and it broke, for how could it not break when there was so much underneath it. The wind rose and whipped under that sheet of ice, and Michiru felt a great crack inside of her, a crack like an explosion. Oh, that great sea ice broke indeed, and it broke with the great thunder of bass and timpani, and the waves became a song again, and twisted, and the sea again, breaking, and then they were her face, her face twisted most of all in those final moments, and Michiru looked up to the sky and she cried out in the one and only vocal solo of her life, accompanied by the horrible orchestra of her own great creation.

She stopped. Everything stopped. The strings grew still, and the sea ice drifted away, and it all simply stopped.

Haruka called herself the senshi of the wind. It was silly, and it was a lie, but it was a lovely one, and in the years after she had fallen in love, she continued on with it in her teasing way, telling Michiru how the wind whispered she looked beautiful in that dress, or howled over the discontinuation of a candy bar.

But she wasn’t lying, and she wasn’t joking, for Michiru could feel her, caressing her face, kissing her lips, brushing tenderly against her collarbone. Haruka had quieted it. She had always quieted it, for the wind was not the great enemy of the sea, but its partner, was it not? It is only the wind that allows the ocean to guide and to bring the world across it. The wind caresses the sea in love, and those are not waves of horror, but of delight. The screams all sound the same.

Michiru took her glass, and drank deep of it, smiling brightly as she flung it over the side of the balcony, a high, bright note of an angel’s bell below.

She rested a hand on that iron, and felt it lay still and freeze beneath her hand. The ice, returning. So heavy. Impossible to hold on a building like this one. But there was no need, the wind said to her, to hold it at all. Let the sea rage, and let the song die, and I will carry you in the great unwritten song of the wind.

Her robe fluttered like a petal as she slipped a leg over that useless, ugly, arrogant iron. She held her hand out to the wind, the wind that came from the sea and still carried the water inside of it, and with a close of her eyes and the whisper of Haruka’s name, she released that flower into the wind.

When they found her on the car in the misting rain, she was calm and shimmering.

Just as she’d been taught.

#Holligay Angstober

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rachelkaser · 3 years

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Stay Golden Sunday: The Operation

Dorothy needs surgery and must confront her fear of hospitals. Blanche and Rose work on their tap routine.

Picture It...

Blanche and Rose carry Dorothy into the house, limping. She somehow injured herself while they were rehearsing their tap dance routine, which Rose is only too happy to demonstrate. Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy go into the kitchen, where Rose apologizes for being a little overexcited about tapdancing. When Dorothy spasms in pain again, Blanche and Rose insist she needs to go see a doctor. Dorothy is resistant, but agrees when she can’t manage even a single tap without pain.

DOROTHY: Alright alright, I’ll go . . . for the sake of the act. BLANCHE: If you want to do something for the sake of the act, have one of those two left feet made into a right one.

Blanche and Rose are doing their dance in the living room. It’s a cute little routine that involves each of the girls getting a solo tap. They leave a gap for Dorothy’s solo, and Blanche quietly frets about Dorothy’s health in time to the song. Sophia comes in just as they’re finishing the song and refuses to join in.

Dorothy comes home with a cane, but insists that she’ll be okay with some rest. Sophia immediately knows she’s lying, and Dorothy confesses the doctor actually said she has a tumor in her foot and needs surgery. It’s a simple surgery, but Dorothy refuses to do it, as she’s afraid of hospitals. The other Girls try to talk her into it, but she’s not listening to reason. Sophia pulls out her best Italian mother skills and guilts Dorothy into it.

DOROTHY: Ma, it’s my foot. SOPHIA: Your foot, my heart. Do you have any idea how much a mother suffers when she sees her child in pain? DOROTHY: Look Ma, don’t do this-- SOPHIA: I’ll tell you how much. Worse than the twenty-three hours of labor it took to- DOROTHY & SOPHIA: --bring you into this world. Worse than the burns I got working nights as a fry cook to help put you through college. Worse than-- DOROTHY: Alright! Alright Ma! I’ll have the surgery. You win. You always win, but you don’t play fair. SOPHIA: That’s why I always win.

The Girls visit Dorothy in her hospital room, and comfort her before her surgery -- or try to; Rose and Sophia don’t help much. After they leave, Dorothy’s new doctor comes in and reveals her previous surgeon is being sued for malpractice and he (the new doctor) won’t say why, and half-jokingly tells her how likely she is to die during the surgery. Later a priest comes in while Dorothy is sleeping to perform the Last Rites on a patient for whom he mistakes Dorothy, and scares her by offering to come by after her surgery to do the same. She puts on her coat and flees the hospital.

From her bedroom, Blanche catches Dorothy by her sliding door trying to sneak back into the house. Rose also saw her and comes in to see what’s wrong. They try to talk Dorothy into going back by talking to her about facing her fears, but Dorothy’s not having it. Sophia comes in, and isn’t pleased to see Dorothy there. Dorothy reveals why she’s so scared: She was left alone in the hospital at age 5 before her tonsil operation. Sophia finally puts her foot down and threatens to cut Dorothy’s tumor out herself if Dorothy doesn’t go back.

ROSE: Blanche, call the police! I just saw a big, ugly man with a limp walk past my bedroom window. He was wearing Dorothy’s coat! *sees Dorothy* But then again, it was dark, and I tend to overdramatize. What are you doing home? BLANCHE: She snuck out of the hospital. She’s too scared to have her operation. ROSE: Dorothy! DOROTHY: Look, I couldn’t help it! When the doctor came in with the release form, he told me what could possibly go wrong. I just panicked! BLANCHE: Darling, nothing is going to go wrong. ROSE: Blanche is right. Of course, one summer when I was a candy striper, you wouldn’t believe the things I saw. Lost patients, mixed-up medications, botched operations-- DOROTHY: Rose, do a big, ugly man with a limp a favor and shut up.

Dorothy is wheeled back into the hospital room, where she’s got a new roommate. Bonnie, the other woman, is upbeat and makes conversation with Dorothy, who warns that she’ll be cranky. Bonnie tells Dorothy that her own surgery is happening after Dorothy’s, and she’s surprisingly calm about it. She’s having her second mastectomy, and admits she’s scared, but says she’s reconciled herself to the situation. After all, she doesn’t really have any other choice. Dorothy is quietly ashamed of herself for the way she’s been acting.

Later, Blanche and Rose are getting ready to go perform their now two-person tap recital, but Blanche is nervous and jittery. When Rose confronts her, Blanche confesses that she hasn’t told Rose something: She’s afraid of performing, and she wet her pants during her first ballet recital as a little girl. So now she doesn’t think she can do the tap recital. Rose, however, isn’t sympathetic -- in fact, she snaps on Blanche and tells her to buck up in the most amazing way possible before dragging her out.

ROSE: Hey, we’ve all got our sad stories. BLANCHE: What? ROSE: Look Blanche, we’ve practiced for six weeks. We’ve paid for our costumes. We told everybody we’d be there. Now you’re not going to wimp out on me. You’re gonna go to that recital. And if you end up in a puddle tonight, well you’d just better break into “Singin’ in the Rain.”

Dorothy wakes up in her hospital bed with Sophia next to her. Sophia is more gentle now that Dorothy’s had the surgery, if a bit grumpy from spending so much time in a chair next to Dorothy’s bed. Dorothy looks over to thank Bonnie, but she’s not there. No, she hasn’t gone to surgery -- she’s getting Sophia a sandwich.

Blanche and Rose arrive from the recital to check on Dorothy, who asks how the performance went. They were a hit with the crowd, and they’ve received several requests to perform again. Dorothy is excited to dance again once she recovers. Blanche and Rose have to awkwardly admit that they have reworked their act from the Tip Tap Trio to the Two Merry Widows. They proceed to show off their new routine to Dorothy and Sophia, including throwing flowers from a decoration onto Dorothy’s face for some reason. Once they finish the dance, Dorothy initially applauds them, then proceeds to put her fist through Rose’s top hat.

“I won’t dance! Don’t ask me!”

It’s another Dorothy spotlight episode, and another one where she has one of her less-flattering character traits brought to light. I don’t know if it was because Bea Arthur was the most recognizable actress out of the four at the time (which is debatable, I admit), but Dorothy sometimes feels like the “main” character of the first season. I could be wrong, but I think we’ve had more Dorothy-centric episodes this first season than anyone else-centric. I may have to do a season breakdown after we finish this first season just to see how it shakes out.

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In any case, here we get to see Dorothy having anxiety about hospitals and surgery. While I do enjoy a good Very Special Episode every now and then, I enjoy it more when Golden Girls deals with fear in an amusing way. The actresses are all good enough to sell both versions, but the funny ones usually have some of the best scene setups, and this episode is no exception. Dorothy getting scared in her hospital room by three well-meaning-but-tactless people in rapid succession -- Rose, Dr. Revell, and the priest -- is one of those things that shouldn’t be funny, but really, really is.

Realistically, I would probably be running too if my surgeon’s bedside manner were as bad as Dr. Revell’s, to say nothing of encountering a priest who’s a little too eager to perform the Last Rites on me. Bea Arthur’s reactions are what sell the humor -- I could (and someday might) write a whole paean to Dorothy reaction shots.

BLANCHE: *about Dorothy’s hospital room* Isn’t it a lovely room, Rose? ROSE: Very lovely. I just keep wondering how many people have never left this room? DOROTHY: Where are they, Rose? Hiding in the shower?

This is one of the better-balanced episodes. Blanche and Rose hold down the B-plot while Dorothy takes the A-plot, with Sophia running support for both plots (though only briefly for the B-plot). I know I talk about this a lot, but I’m mostly doing it to show how the show changes and improves over time. It’s really hard to write a story with four primary characters and ensure they all get their share of attention. Sure, only one or maybe two Girls are the main character in every episode’s story, but even when that’s the case, all of the non-main Girls should get an equal amount of screen time. My intent is to show how the writers get better at this throughout the show’s run. And this is one of the really good first-season episodes for balance. All four Girls are present for the major scenes and no one is forgotten.

The condition Dorothy has, Morton’s neuroma, is a real thing, by the way. Dorothy’s case must be pretty severe: According to the Mayo Clinic, it’s a swelling in the tissue around one of the nerves leading to the toes. It can be treated in various other ways, with surgery being a last resort. Dorothy’s original lie about how the doctor told her to “take it a little easy for a few days” would indeed have been one of the treatments they’d have tried first, probably.

SOPHIA: *after Dorothy says she has to take it easy* You’re lying. ROSE: Oh Sophia, Dorothy wouldn’t lie! SOPHIA: A mother knows when her child is lying. It’s like bat radar.

This episode features one of the more cursory of the side characters in this show: Bonnie, Dorothy’s hospital roommate who inadvertently helps her cope with her hospital phobia. I say “cursory” because she’s not a major character in the episode, appearing in only one scene and having only a few minutes of screen time, but she does trigger an epiphany in Dorothy. I kind of wish she were around longer, because as a character she’s kind of one-note. She has to be the one who finally gets Dorothy to calm herself and get through the surgery, which she does by being the world’s most stoic cancer patient.

I get the idea: Her dignity in the face of her very serious surgery is intended to do what Sophia’s threats and guilt and the other Girls’ reasoning couldn’t. Trouble is, I’m not exactly sure how -- by which I mean, I don’t know if Dorothy feels “like a damn fool” because Bonnie’s showed her how to brave her way through the fear, or because she’s realized her operation is relatively easy and low-stakes compared with Bonnie’s. Either would fit the narrative, honestly. I almost wish we got to see the scene where Bonnie agrees to fetch Sophia dinner from the cafeteria, because at least then Bonnie could have shown a little humor.

BONNIE: I hope my exercising doesn’t bother you. DOROTHY: No, not at all. What is it, some kind of therapy you have to do? BONNIE: No, I just like to stay healthy. DOROTHY: Hate to break this to you Bonnie: You’re in a hospital. The exercises aren’t working.

But if the A-plot ends on a somewhat bland note, I think the B-plot more than makes up for it. In fact, I’d hazard a guess that Rose and Blanche’s dance scenes are what most people remember this episode for, rather than Dorothy’s fears. Dancing and singing on this show is almost always a treat: These actresses were ridiculously talented, and from what I can tell from the behind-the-scenes material, they also looked forward to doing these scenes. Neither Rue McClanahan nor Betty White had much tap experience, so they would walk around the studio in their tap shoes to get used to the sound. According to Betty, they would also dance a bit as they did so, because it’s hard to be in tap shoes and not tip-tap around.

We also get to see a bit more of Rose the Hardass in this episode. It turns out it’s not just bowling that brings out Rose’s aggressive side. Usually Rose is only this way in competition, but in this case I think she’d just had enough after spending the whole episode trying to coddle Dorothy, only for Blanche to panic a couple of hours before a recital for which they’d been practicing six weeks. I question why Blanche’s fear of performing didn’t come up at any point during those weeks, but Blanche does say she’d thought she was over it. In any case, it’s also a little bit cathartic for the audience, who might just want to snap on someone after watching almost a whole episode of Dorothy stubbornly refusing to move past her childhood trauma. I’m not saying Dorothy’s not sympathetic, but I think we needed that moment of someone harshly telling the complaining person to just get over themselves after the more quiet humbling she got from Bonnie.

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I also found a quote in Golden Girls Forever from producer Winifred Hervey saying that everyone was admiring Betty’s and Rue’s legs while filming these scenes. And they do, indeed, have very nice legs. Though I will say the one big question that lingers over this episode is: Given that Dorothy says the recital is “next week” the same day she first injures herself, how in the heck did Rose and Blanche manage to scramble together a whole new dance routine in a week?

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

The performance of the Two Merry Widows.

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#golden girls #stay golden sunday #dorothy zbornak #sophia petrillo #picture it #stay golden #blanche devereaux #rose nylund #s01e18 #the operation

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andrewuttaro · 5 years

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New Look Sabres: GM 64 - PIT

We, as Buffalo Sabres fans, have reached the point in the season where we shout down those who give updates on the playoff race. Eight points back on a playoff spot with less then twenty games to go is the point at which it came this season. The outlook gets too bleak at a certain point and we all switch over to Draft Talk. Late February was that moment for us this season. I will spare you the petty optimism of recapping how farther along in the season that bleakness threshold is than in most recent years and just say that as I have accepted this reality, I’ve seen a new silver lining. Not to brag, but I got a question of mine answered on the 31 Thoughts Podcast (2/28/19 in case your interested) and the answer industry insider Elliotte Friedman gave me was actually pretty satisfactory. And that my friends, is what we call a tease. The breakdown of that and the greater considerations of this team right now is coming up after the recap so stick with me. It maybe hard to talk trash when you feel like trash about your team but here it goes: Pittsburgh, your greed is absurd. Two Stanley Cups in three years and you’re panicking that you don’t look too hot in the fourth year. Us Sabres fans are wrapping up our rebuild at the speed of smell and a playoff victory over you narcs would be the morale boost you dream of. This series would probably be a boring defensive slog in spite of the names Crosby, Malkin, Eichel and Skinner but when the Sabres make you slog they’re at their best. Buffalo would relish ushering in the end of the Penguins Era and welcoming back the scores of Western New York hockey fans who bolted your way in the late 2000s. Sabres in 6! Now back to tonight’s matchup: a stunningly fun matchup for the far side of the bleakness threshold!

The first goal of this game felt really special. Obviously, it wasn’t special because of who scored it: Jack Eichel has scored many goals and will score many more. It was a play that materialized because of a turnover but get this… NOT a Sabres turnover. Imagine that, right? Jack scores his 23rd goal of the season after a turnover and a lay up from #23. Jack sniped it high over Matt Murray’s shoulder. This game had kinetic pacing. The possession was all over the place but this time it was fun chaotic possession. Brian Duff mentioned before the game the amount of roster turnover the Penguins have gone through. Obviously that team takes making the playoffs quite a bit more seriously at the present moment and their fight for the last spot mobilized Jim Rutherford to trade like a madman. One of these such guys, someone I was surprised to discover is now playing for Pittsburgh, was Nick Bjugstad. He got the puck in front of the Sabres net from another new Penguin, Juuso Riikola, and shot it far side on Linus Ullmark. In spite of Pittsburgh’s domination in shots and faceoffs the Sabres would score next when Conor Sheary flipped the puck in via a pass from Kyle Okposo. I always enjoy a goal against a former team and it wouldn’t be Sheary’s last tally of the night.

The middle period was the home team trying to calm down the game a little bit and take control. It worked for most of the period. It was a Matt Hunwick interference call on Sidney Crosby that gave Patric Hornqvist the powerplay opportunity to even it. It was the same kind of situation that put the Penguins ahead on yet another powerplay a little over a minute later when the Pittsburgh Captain himself scored. It was 3-2 going into the third and the basic stats of this game make you think this has to be over. Pittsburgh was laying it on and let’s just be real: has luck been on the Sabres side lately? Nonetheless it’s a 60-minute game and the final frame would be instrumental. As the period went on the Sabres narrowed the shot gap and would outshoot the opposition. There were several instances you think Buffalo was about to get the equalizer. Evan Rodrigues was beating down the door. Jeff Skinner got a saucy shot from point blank when Murray was out of the way. A diving defender is who saved it and it looked like that Penguin grabbed it with his glove on the line. It wasn’t reviewed and this game went to the final three minutes 3-2. Then a shot came ringing down from the blue line straight down the center and past the visiting netminder. It looked like Sheary could have redirected it in… but no, this goal goes to the new kid. Brandon Montour got credit for his first goal as a Sabre in his first game in Buffalo. It was exuberant and I grabbed my seat in the final minutes of play just waiting for the response. It didn’t come. For the first time in a hot… month and a half(?) … I felt fully into this game as went into OT. It looked like they could win it. There was no shortage of heart-stopping drama in the extra period. A puck almost ended it for the Penguins off some dude’s forehead. Rasmus Ristolainen made some confounding moves. Just as it started to look like it might go to the shootout the former Penguin Conor Sheary saw Phil Kessel lazily skating in front of Murray. Screening and out of position Kessel opened the window for Sheary to shoot through. Goal. 4-3 Sabres win it in overtime! Or did they? There was a challenge for offsides that the broadcast never showed any relevant footage on; you know, because we’re not allowed happiness as Sabres fans, right now? The challenge failed and the victory held up. Funny thing, going to OT gave the Pens one point, that was enough for them to knock the Hurricanes out of the last remaining playoff spot for now. Small victories, right?

So how about what I teased at the start: I asked the 31 Thoughts Podcast: How do the Sabres recover from having such a great start before missing the playoffs for the eighth straight year? Friedge responded as bluntly as my question was asked. He said the best anecdote is probably making sure it doesn’t become a ninth straight year out. Friedge also mentioned the promising core and the massive step forward Jack Eichel has taken before every Insider’s mandatory cautionary statement about making sure you keep Jeff Skinner. Folks, the optimistic line (the line I always take) post-bleakness threshold is that this is a development year. We’re overcooking the upcoming stars in Rochester and elsewhere to build up to what must be the first season the Jason Botterill regime puts the emphasis on the NHL club next year. I know next year is the almost a religious chant in this City by now but optimists like me have to believe 2019-2020 is the first season the Front Office here is actually going to demand a playoff berth. Yea, it’s an awfully convenient explanation post-bleakness threshold but the Montour trade and what expiring deals will demand is a busy Draft and Free Agency will make this conclusion widely accepted by the time your reading the Offseason Retrospective in late August or Early September. It’s painful to consider how it will be another season without a Post-Season in April considering how certain that seemed in November but the excuse that Botts is still healing the sins of the Tim Murray Era works for about another season. As Friedge said, the worst answer is probably the best answer: if you fail at something eight times that you have to achieve the best route is to ask yourself how is it not going to be nine times?

Yea, that might be the biggest question mark I’ve ever typed. I think that’s the question Botts is asking himself right now. Nonetheless, with another game against Toronto tomorrow I’m sure we’ll have some vitriolic hate driving us to not mope. I know I am guilty of it too: moping because we’re over that bleakness threshold and there was so much hope a few short months ago. Well, I’m tired of it. For real this time: I’m not going to count the burdens and disappointments on this organization like some kind of masochist. This can be fun, even when the playoffs are likely out of reach now, this watching Sabres games thing can be fun. They proved it to us tonight. Like, share and comment on this blog. Tell me if I’m being too optimistic. Tell me I’m high on the fumes of this win. Tell me I’m a crazy Sabres fan. I’m not going to stop tweeting about soccer but that doesn’t mean I’m done with these Sabres yet and neither should you be, no matter which side of the bleakness threshold we’re on. Did I coin a new term tonight? I don’t know, the only thing that matters right now is if this win can get stacked with another one tomorrow. Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Seeing all the Bald for Bucks stuff at this game brings me back to when I went Bald for Bucks in college. It’s a great cause for cancer charities and I recommend you donating even if you don’t want to shave the flowing lochs.

#buffalo sabres #hockey #blog #nhl

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theworstbob · 7 years

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yellin’ at songs: 4.28.2007 & 4.29.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week.

4.28.2007

67) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," Fall Out Boy

The song has everything that's missing from "This Ain't a Scene." It's about something that is a thing, it's coherently put together, it has maybe the best chorus Fall Out Boy ever wrote (don't hold me to that), it's actually clever and not just trying hard to be clever (though it is trying very, very hard), and it has that breakdown, that "I only think in the form of crunching numbers" over the acoustic guitar that gets me every single time. This is the song that put me on the path to liking Fall Out Boy again after a couple of disappointing years. It’s what helped me accept that the adorable young boys of Take This to Your Grave were gone, but the confident snarklords had much to offer.

74) "Summer Love," Justin Timberlake

"Ridin' in the drop top/With the top down/Saw you switchin' lanes girl." "So chillin' in the front seat/In the back seat/I'm drivin', cruisin'/Fast lane, switchin' lanes." Which horrible line about switching lanes is from this 2007 hit, and which is from Rebecca Black's "Friday," the song everyone hated? What does switchin' lanes even mean in this context? No I'm not going to pay attention to the rest of this song, the rest of it probably sucks also as well, I wanna harp on this first line. Like how do you know a girl is sexy from the way she merges on the highway? Or are you in the club? If you're in the club, how on earth are you in a drop top with the top down, like what would that be a metaphor for? I can see how switchin' lanes would be the girl flirting with all sorts of boys, but what on earth is your drop top. Are you shirtless? Are you wearing an open leather jacket? I don't, ugh, all of your songs are bad, literally your entire catalogue infuriates me.

75) "The Story," Brandi Carlile

is there a better moment in music than when this song plugs in. that's a serious question. how many moments in other songs are better than "i climbed across the mountain tops/SWAM ALL ACROSS THE OCEAN BLUE." Like that was such a miracle the first time I heard it, it sounds like this sort of pretty song I might usually skip but stuck with for some reason, and then it goes absolutely insane, like first those drums come in and it's like, "Oh, this is more plugged in than I anticipated!" AND THEN WE'RE ON A ROCKET INTO THE FUCKING SUN. This is the only alt-country song that turns all the way up, and it has never stopped being a miracle.

84) "Earth Intruders," Bjork

/smiles politely /sorts gently into the 'not for me' pile there, there, dear sweet. you and i both know your home is not with me.

86) "Que Hiceste," Jennifer Lopez

Yo! So, the Jennifer Lopez Spanish-language track was dope as hell, which I didn't see coming. A thread through 2017 has been how dope the Latin pop songs are, and this is everything I want, something over-dramatic that I don't 100% understand but is funky enough to get into. It kind of tracks why it took me this long to hear it, I think the public was over J.Lo in 2007 and probably treated her Spanish-language album like a joke, but y'know what, I was wrong to not take her seriously, and my world is better with this song in it. Hey. Hey, everyone. It’s me, the man with music opinions, saying he likes a J.Lo song more than a Bjork song. Please give my opinions credence.

91) "Umbrella," Rihanna ft./Jay-Z

This is a towering achievement worthy of the onslaught of thinkpieces about its lasting impact sure to pop up on your favorite culture websites over the next couple of weeks. This is also the worst Jay-Z verse. At least the verse on "Monster" is stupid enough to be memorable. What even is that thing at the top of the song? How come I couldn't find an upload that cut his part out? It's literally at the beginning of the song and adds nothing, Jay-Z doesn't even ad-lib at all for the rest of the song, you could remove that and miss nothing. I'm focusing on the negative when this is one of the best pop songs there ever was. (It won't be #1 on the Top 20 because SAD INDIE SONGS YOU GUYZ, but it'll be at the forefront of the pop game.) Bless whoever heard this song and thought it should go to the girl who made "Pon de Replay," who heard "Pon de Replay" and heard the ability to carry this track home.

94) "I'm Throwed," Paul Wall ft./Jermaine Dupri

All these mid-aughts Houston rap singles have been way better than I expected. Also, I can't tell if "I'm a sharpshooter like Steve Kerr" was an outdated boast in 2007, or if it only seems outdated because Steve Kerr is a notable head coach in the National Basketball Association. Kerr was GM of the Suns in '07, wasn't he? Like I get his name rhymes, but you've gotta be able to name a more current basketball player than Steve Kerr, dude. Steve Novak was on the Rockets that season, literally his only NBA skill was the three, maybe try to squeeze him in there?

100) "It's Me Bitches," Swizz Beatz

it's disappointing that swizz beatz gave this beat to himself, but it's also perfectly understandable that no one else wanted to try to handle it. also if anyone wanted to hear the opposite of "Lady Marmalade," the remix features lil' wayne, r. kelly, and jadakiss, it features wayne and r. doing jamaican accents, and it starts with the words "voulez-vous couchez avec moi bitches." literally, the opposite of "Lady Marmalade."

The in-progress Top 20 for 2007: 20) “Kiss the G 20) "Que Hiciste," by Jennifer Lopez (4.28.2007) 19) "When I See U," by Fantasia (4.21.2007) 18) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 17) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 16) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 15) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.14.2007) 14) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 13) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 12) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 11) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 10) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 9) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 8) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 7) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 6) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 5) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 4) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 3) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) I think we all understand that “Kiss the Girl” is the Top 20, and that there is no reason to bother reviewing 2007 after last week, as “Kiss the Girl” was perfect.

4.29.2017

4) "Sign of the Times," by Harry Styles

...I can't deny that this is an ambitious song, and I cannot deny that it is focused in its ambition. If forced to make the choice, I would take this over ZAYN mumbling any day of the week. But you also made me listen to five and a half minutes of some misguided nonsense. This feels like a song you can sell once you've proven you can deliver the basics. This is the eleventh track of the rock opera you get to make once you have established enough credibility to sell a rock opera, the dark night of the soul a track or two before the climax of your career’s defining work, and it doesn't work as the first post-boy-band single. I can't believe this exists. Think of all the people who had to listen to this and sign off on it. "Yeah, a five-and-a-half minute epic ballad, that'll get the kids talking. That'll launch this kid into the stratosphere!" And, well, #4! hey! alright!, but fucking Liam could have a top-ten single tomorrow if he dropped a new track, #4 means nothing. I salute the ambition. I find nothing to applaud anywhere else.

50) "Now or Never," by Halsey

it's going to sound weird to critique halsey for lacking a sense of urgency on this song when that "hit the sin" song had ALL THE URGENCY but like as pleasant as it was to hear her whisper over a beat that bleeped and blooped agreeably, this song is called "now or never?" like this is the only time i've heard a halsey song where she seemed calm. maybe i just don't know what i want out of a halsey song. maybe this is Great and i'm just committed to not seeing what's Great in here. but like of all the songs to not overdramatize, you pick the one with an ultimatum! help me figure you out, dawg!

74) "Unforgettable," by French Montana ft./Swae Lee

This was fine! I have a thousand nitpicks -- ft./Swae Lee? FT./?! He was the entire song! -- but they, more than usual, add up to nothing here, because I enjoyed myself! Not the best song, not a song painting outside any lines, a song that'll prolly sound dated in 10 years (ah yes, 2017, when we revived dancehall for some reason), but a four minute ride through a nice part of Music Town!

79) "Everyday We Lit," by YFN Lucci ft./PnB Rock

The YouTube description informs the this is off the album Get the Nut, and my entire opinion of this song is colored by the fact of its origin. Fuck this. Like I know I'm supposed to judge the song and nothing else, but that album title tells me more about who this person is than anything on this world possibly could. And since we're talking about song-related ephemera, we've got dudes in rap videos wearing Toon Squad jerseys. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I kind of wish he'd take this more seriously. You're on this song about how awesome life is, but life's not so awesome that you can't participate in irony? I don't get this choice you have made.

89) "Cake," by Flo Rida & 99 Percent

this is just a two and a half minute party jam about fucking. bless this song. no frills, nothing overly complicated, ya just start it up, there's maybe half a metaphor and a fuckton of "whoa-ohs" and we're done. flo rida is the reigning king of trash pop rap, and i would listen to this 40 times before i ever listened to more life again.

92) "Bar at the End of the World," by Kenny Chesney

This sounds like it was designed to be the soundtrack to your CVS shopping experience. CVS might be too urban for this song. This sounds like it's going to be the song that plays every single time you walk into a gas station in a rural area for the rest of your life. They delivered this to every convenience store out in the sticks, they assessed their primary music delivery system and dropped off the cassette or the CD or maybe they had to hex the radio, but this song has been delivered, and the proprietors know the drill. You will be on your way up north for a cousin's wedding, fill up the tank and maybe get a Cherry Coke and some Twizzlers, still got a bit of a drive ahead of you and hey what the hell it's a vacation have some sugar, and you will hear this song, because it is the only song you can hear. You'll hear precisely 71 seconds and won't mind or notice any of it, meaning the song will have done its job.

97) "Weak," by AJR

So this is an anthem about saying "fuck it" and making bad choices, which sounds like it'd be right up my alley? But I don't dig it, and I'm trying to nail down what I don't like about it. Something about this track irks me, and I'm like one word away from figuring out what that is. It's not the fact it kind of reminds me of "Love in This Club," though that doesn't help. Maybe it's just too precious? It's like the first draft of a Fun. song, the outline of where a song could go before they add specific details about the relationship and what makes giving into it such a bad idea. I don't leave this song knowing anything about these dudes, other than the fact they want desperately for other people to like them. Cloying. Cloying! That's the ticket! They want very badly for you to feel sympathy for their plight, but they don't want to be too honest about themselves, lest you find something unrelatable. It’s a song about a damaged person by people who aren’t open about their own damage.

99) "If I Told You," by Darius Rucker

this how you do me shane mcnally. this was the one thing i was looking forward to, and it's this. whatever. it's fine. what a dumb week.

100) "Flatliner," by Cole Swindell ft./Dierks Bentley

maybe it's not the chillest thing to praise flo rida for making garbage pop/rap but chide these yutzes for making what is basically the same song, but

The Top 20 for this week is the same as the Top 20 was last week because 2017 didn’t even fucking try. 20) "Tin Man," by Miranda Lambert (4.22) 19) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 18) "Everybody," by Logic (4.22) 17) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 16) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande (4.22) 15) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 14) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum (4.22) 13) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 12) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 11) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 10) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 9) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 8) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 7) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 4) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) Hey: “Issues” is #12 on the real chart this week! That’s cool!

Who won? hahahahahhahahahahahaha 2007: 3 2017: 2 Though, hey, at least this week didn’t have as much Chainsmokers as I feared! That tally still doesn’t really reflect how badly 2007 is outpacing 2017, though. The 2007 Top 20 is officially nuts, like, “U + Ur Hand” at #17? But it might remain static through next week, that 2007 Top 20, 2007 looks to be leaving the door wide open with next week’s offerings. Do I think 2017 can notch another empty victory? TOTALLY, DUDE. (Foreshadowing.)

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