#me utterly shocked right now at the level of artistry of this episode

[theromanticrationalist]

Young Sheldon Series Finale: 7x13 Funeral

So, I was delayed in watching the finale because I actually wanted to watch it with my own Dad, but AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

😭

Damn, damn, damn, DAMN DAAAAAAAAMN!! So, that Funeral episode hit and it hit hard. (Did they really HAVE TO HAVE AN OPEN CASKET FOR THE LOVE OF GOD...ughughughughugh) The writing for that episode was the crème de la crème, and I think is the cathartic thematic climax of this series. The final episode was necessary for transitioning between YS and TBBT, which brings both stories together, but as far as the story YS was telling, Funeral was the show's end. It isn't a perfect ending and it wasn't a pretty ending, and in fact is quite devastating in so many ways, but it is truthful to Sheldon's journey, and to the human experience.

When Sheldon got up in front of the church to say a few words, playing out the scenario as he wished he had done it, that was the moment. The whole episode is Sheldon processing his grief - imperfect and messy as he has literally no tools or precedent to fall back on - as he replays his father leaving that fateful day over and over, tweaking it each time to make it "better". With a young man with an eidetic memory and a compulsive need for his reality to be orderly (and the fact that he believes in the Many-Worlds Interpretation), this would make sense. He begins be utilizing Star Trek (Spock's death) to filter it and provide context, but that no longer proves sufficient to the crushing and terrible emotions of what he is experiencing. That was a tool he used for when he was a boy, but now he has been thrust into the world of manhood in absolutely the worst way possible. What is it that will speak truest to what he is going through than the bare naked truth?

"I've been thinking a lot about the last moments I had with my Dad. It was morning and he was leaving for work. He said "See y'all later." And I said nothing. I regret that. I could have said bye. Or asked him for a ride. Or told him that I loved him, but I didn't. I barely noticed that he left. So many times that I didn't notice my father, I hope he knew how much I loved him."

From the audience's perspective we have been watching Sheldon play the scenario many times through his mind, and to have the rug pulled out from under us at this moment of all moments, to see that this too was only just a scenario (played out by Sheldon Prime), is exactly what it is like living in this world, enduring this life - not just for Sheldon but for all of us. In one of my previous posts I mentioned how I loved Sheldon Cooper's story because of what he could teach us. This episode encapsulates it in total. He can teach us that you cannot quantify life, you can't organize it so that everything makes sense and plays out in a well-structured narrative and format, where every feeling is named and every event categorized. Life is myriad, so much richer and so much fuller and so much wilder than anything we can imagine or think up on our own. It is what makes it utterly terrifying and wretched, but it is also part of its beauty and purpose. Sheldon Cooper comes to realize this, but he is only able to have this deeper understanding after first living it. Sheldon Prime's concluding narration at the end of Funeral is Sheldon Cooper's story taken as a whole - past, present, future - the life in movement. Of course young Sheldon would not experience his father's death in its completeness. He is the midst of it. He is trying to survive it. So I love the realness of Sheldon's "imperfect" response to his father's death in the fact that he didn't respond to it. He quite literally did not process it, and instead ran away from it. It is painful, brutal, but truthful. Yet that was not the end of Sheldon Cooper's story, as we know, and I think that leaves us with hope, but it is a kind of hope that must be waited for with profound patience.

Although I myself have not gone through the loss of a parent like Sheldon has, I still have gone through devastating and traumatic life events, so I am very familiar with the inexplicable and violating nature of grief and loss. I am still processing that grief and loss, so these thoughts I am sharing with you all right now are pretty recent revelations, and quite literally me living them out in real time, so it might be a little messy...hehe.

However, I will end this by saying that none of these truths mean that life is arbitrary. It doesn't mean it makes life meaningless. Just because human endeavors cannot place life within a context that he himself can first create and then comprehend, doesn't mean that life doesn't have a context and that that context can't be understood. It just means that that context comes from a different Source, an external and eternal one (and I will say, by necessity, a paternal one, but that is a thought for another day!)

Fitting then that the episode, and Young Sheldon, should end with the recitation of the Lord's prayer:

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." | Matthew 6:9-10

[spencerhasatwin-blog]

Season 6, Episode 11

The first time we see Spencer in this episode is in the intro, before the opening credits, and she is reading a letter from Alison about returning to Rosewood.  In this scene, Spencer appears conflicted, and perhaps frustrated.  Also of note, her watch resides on her left wrist, as it does for most right-handed people (one’s watch is generally worn on the non-dominant wrist so that it doesn’t interfere with daily tasks, such as writing).

Spencer is also the first Liar we follow back to Rosewood.  We see her framed in the foreground of the church which, by the end of the episode, will become Charlotte’s place of death.  From an artistic standpoint, this bookends the episode nicely, should Spencer be Charlotte’s killer.

The next five scenes, Spencer is wearing the same outfit.  In these scenes, her watch is on her right wrist, implying that this Spencer may, in fact, be left-handed.  She also acts a little unusually throughout.  Generally, when anyone speaks in these scenes, Spencer waits for others’ reactions before exhibiting one herself, as though she is waiting for a cue for how she, herself, should react.  Exceptions to this include when the girls meet with Ali, and Spencer states, “We aren’t on the playground anymore.  We haven’t been for a long time….” (giving Ali an extremely dark look), and earlier in the episode, when Spencer sarcastically tells her Mom during their reunion, “The family that campaigns together stays together.”  At times, there appears to be a devious undercurrent to seemingly benign comments.

The first of the dialogue scenes in the episode shows Spencer meeting back up with the rest of the girls.  When the girls discuss their current careers and relationships, Aria asks Spencer, “Who is Spencer seeing?”  Seemingly going along with the joking 3rd person, Spencer replies, “Spencer is too busy to see anybody.”  While this alone is not worthy of extra consideration, if we examine this scene through the lens of this-is-a-twin-speaking, it is a way of surreptitiously introducing this fact to the viewers for later analysis.  And is it any coincidence that Spencer takes the lead amongst the girls at the end of this scene, deciding what to do next?  True, Spencer has always been a pillar that the other girls can rely on, because she has a remarkable intelligence, but again, including it with everything else, it seems more significant than usual.

The next scene in which we see Spencer, she is meeting back up with her mother and going over the campaign. Watch still on the right hand, this should still be the imposter.  Of note here (aside from the aforementioned sarcasm about families campaigning together and staying together) is her worried pause when her mother says, “It’s your fault I’m doing this,” as well as an odd use of the first person when she gets defensive about her occupation.  When her mother tells her, “Sweetheart, you work for a lobbyist,” Spencer immediately denies this by saying, “No, we are not lobbyists, we work with grassroots political organizations to advance progressive legislation.”  1st person plural.  Perhaps she is referring to her company and fellow coworkers, or perhaps she is referring to her twin (the real Spencer).  If this last item is in fact the case, it would imply that Spencer knows her twin exists and has possibly been working with her.  Concerning, and there are points to contradict this elsewhere, but it is certainly a possibility.

The third Spencer scene shows her meeting back up with Toby.  Watch still on the right hand, and still wearing the same outfit, this would appear to still be faux-Spencer.  She is a little awkward at first, appearing to ask herself, “How do I do this?  How do we interact?”  Explainable simply by saying, “Well yeah, he’s her ex, of course she’s uncertain.”  But couldn’t she also be asking herself how the real Spencer would interact with Toby in this situation?  There are subtle, instinctual understandings between two individuals who have been as close and intimate as Spencer and Toby, which would be difficult to replicate by someone who hasn’t been a part of that relationship.  Notice that Spencer seems totally into Toby in this scene.  She cares about him, and appears to have a bit of a crush on him. Her attitude is kind of shy, with a touch of flirty, and she does a lot of uncharacteristic smiling.  Not hard to believe that a twin who has seen the real Spencer have so many things she missed out on, might covet her sister’s boyfriend at some point, too.  How easy to say, “this could be me.”  This would help to explain the most significant hole in the twin theory in this scene: when Spencer says, “Because I know you.”  Sure sounds like something an ex would say, not like something someone pretending to be an ex would say.  Unless she’d been watching Toby all this time, harboring her own feelings for him, and coming to know him from a distance.

Up next is the meeting with Alison.  This scene shows a rather harsh side to Spencer.  While everyone else is quietly upset, trying to be sympathetic to Ali, but rolling their eyes in frustration and still hating that this is a conversation even being had, Spencer is openly angry.  Her first line in the scene is, “So Charlotte is all better now.  What does this have to do with us?”  As the others interact with Ali, she carefully gauges their reactions.  And every time she opens her mouth, she is confrontational, seemingly attempting to ferret out the truth (“Victim Statements?” and “Who else is speaking?” and “Why isn’t Jason here?”).  While the other girls are on the defensive, angrily stating why they shouldn’t be made to do this, Spencer is on the offensive, attacking Ali instead of protecting her own feelings.  Of course, the nastiest comment she delivers is, “Pretty please?  With sugar on top?…That’s what you say on the playground to exact a favor.  We’re not on the playground anymore, Alison.  We haven’t been for a long time.”  Here, Ali looks hurt and vulnerable, while Spencer looks cruel and unforgiving.  An odd reversal of roles for these old friends, isn’t it?

In the next scene, as the Liars stand and watch Veronica Hastings’s campaign speech, Spencer encourages the other girls to say that they aren’t afraid of Charlotte anymore. Really?  After she just battled Ali on every single point she made?  What I see here is a person who doesn’t like Ali, and who wants Charlotte out in the open for some reason.  Perhaps so she can get to her?  Kill her?  As Spencer darts up to the platform for her mother to introduce her to the crowd, she is stopped by Mona.  She delivers and uncertain, “Hi Mona…” and appears distinctly uncomfortable throughout the entire conversation.  Mona references a time she waved at her at an event, and Spencer apologizes (As a side note not directly related to the main thread, could Mona be trying to catch Spencer in a lie?  Perhaps she suspects there are two of them, and this event never took place, or Spencer really did see Mona and wave back?).  Then Mona states that they’ve ended up in the same business, and Spencer looks vaguely mocking and says, “Um, not really.”  Is the business being discussed politics, or the “A” Game? Maybe Spencer’s twin is insulted by the idea that Mona would consider the game she played with the liars to be on the same level as her own game, or maybe it is a private joke with herself implying the same thing.  At the end of the conversation, why is Spencer so shocked when Mona asks her, “Do you still have nightmares?”  Her lack of response is odd.  Maybe she still hates Mona, or maybe she doesn’t know how the real Spencer would respond.  Every silence or lack of response is incriminating in this theory.

We’ve finally reached a new outfit (and potentially new day) the next time we see Spencer.  We’ve entered Charlotte’s hearing, where the girls speak to the judge about their feelings concerning Charlotte.  Spencer is now adorned in a demure pink coat, with a watch on the right wrist, implying that this is still not the real Spencer.  Spencer is up first, and she sets a precedent among the girls as having the guts to lie to the judge and say she is no longer afraid of Charlotte.  Her statement opens the door for the others to follow suit. As the other girls come up to give their statements, note that Spencer is sitting on the far right of the frame, allowing us to see her during nearly every frame of each statement.  At times, we can see no one else because we are so zoomed in on the person sitting at the table, but even then, we see Spencer in the background, looking over the speaker’s shoulder.  Again, artistry matters for a show that gives more clues than answers, so this is potentially representative of her role in their lives: always watching.  When Mona steps up for her turn, Hanna comments on her testimony being “the last nail in the coffin,” and Spencer nods along and rolls her eyes, not a single note of worry on her face.  As Mona speaks, she seems truly terrified.  She crumples up her paper and says she “thought she could do this.”  I suspect “A” has gotten to her already.  One possibility is that she defied “A,” who wanted her to make sure Charlotte stayed locked up, by speaking her actual truth: that she forgives Charlotte.  However I think it more likely, based on context clues, that she was warned away from telling the judge that she was still afraid of Charlotte, but she came planning to defiantly be honest anyway.  When it came down to the wire, she lost her nerve and buckled to “A’s” pressure, saying that she wasn’t afraid of Charlotte anymore. As she tells the judge this, she looks utterly unconvincing, appearing terrified even as she says it.  Specifically, she says, “Let her go home.  That’s all any of us wants.  To have a home.”  Why is this on her mind?  Is this what is being threatened?  Mona’s home, or family?  Then, of course, she begins crying and flees the room.  When Mona is emotional, it’s because she’s either acting, or not in control. My bet is on the latter in this scene. The final shot of the scene is of Spencer looking down with—dare I say—a scheming look on her face, as though she’s building up her nerve to do something.  It’s a very brief shot, but it lingers in one’s mind.

The next scene takes place just after the hearing.  We find Emily and left-handed Spencer sitting at a table at the newly refurbished Radley Hotel.  Spencer glances around the room warily, but this wouldn’t necessarily mean anything—both Spencer and her twin have likely spent time in Radley Sanitarium (we know Spencer has, and one of the running theories about Spencer’s twin is that she spent a great deal of time in Radley, envying her sister who lived on the outside), but is suggestive nonetheless. The same goes for when Spencer is reluctant to turn her phone off.  It is, in fact, a characteristically Spencer kind of reaction to have, but it could also mean more—that she has people she needs to stay in contact with for a secret plan, or that she has her phone set to automatically send out “A” messages to Mona, or any number of other things.

Later, still at the Radley, Spencer (a little tipsy) comments on how she’s missed the other girls’ faces, and that they “have such lovely faces.”  Endearing if it’s Spencer, but sickening if it’s Spencer’s twin/resident doll-maker.  And when the girls talk about how they need to get together more often “but not here,” Spencer opens her mouth as if she might object, before being cut off by Hanna talking about making a list of places to go and visiting each one together.  She then goes on to suggest places before bitterly stating, “and Ali and Charlotte can sit in that big, ugly house and they can bake cookies.”  Hatred of Charlotte?  Not uncommon amongst the Liars.  And anger at Ali for what she’s just encouraged them to do.  But such overwhelming bitterness towards Alison seems odd.  And then, Spencer is again over-the-top lovey-dovey with her friends, which is, again, endearing if it’s the real Spencer, but creepy as all get out if it’s Spencer’s evil twin, who’s spent years playing with them like marionettes.

The next morning, after the girls have gone back to Hanna’s room, right-watched Spencer is waking up hungover.  So.  Let’s say that both Spencers are in on this together. One Spencer could be sleeping in Hanna’s room, while the other was out committing the murder of Charlotte Drake.  After all, she “didn’t think they’d actually let her out.”

And who called Caleb to come take care of Hanna?  Spencer.  All a part of the larger game?  Right-watched Spencer meets him as he comes downstairs after speaking with Hanna. She’s familiar and comfortable with him, suggesting she’s spent some real time with him.

Flash to the funeral, where we see a very dead Charlotte lying in a very open, very prominently displayed casket as if to say, “WE’RE NOT LYING THIS TIME, SHE’S REALLY DEAD.” Not that we’re not still only 95% certain Charlotte is dead when they show us the corpse at an open casket funeral. This is PLL.  Mona’s eyes were freaking open in the trunk of the car, and she’s alive (UNLESS MONA’S THE TWIN!  Nah, probably not).  Speaking of Mona, we get a shot of her looking insanely guilty and worked up, sitting in the back pew.  You have to ask yourself, would she be feeling so guilty if she’d really told the truth, and she really wasn’t afraid of Charlotte?  It’s worse when it’s a lie, because you feel like you’ve manipulated the situation into being.  And Mona is far more worked up than the Liars.  Contact-with-“A” worked up.

At the very end of the episode, after the funeral has ended, the girls are approached by Lorenzo, who tells them to stay in town, because Charlotte’s death has been ruled a homicide. Who looks shifty and nervous upon hearing this news?  Spencer.  And who’s the one who, when one of the girls says, “I want to go home,” responds with, “We are home?”  Spencer. Anything to keep everyone together in the dollhouse.

You may be asking yourself, if that’s Spencer’s evil twin standing there, who is in the limo looking out at the Liars?  There are a couple of options: if Spencer is really in on all of this with her twin (or possibly being forced to cooperate), the real Spencer could be in the limo.  Another option is that it is Mary Drake in the limo, secretly attending her daughter’s funeral.  And of course, based on the most recent episode, the last (and least likely) option is that it was Pastor Ted, coming to say goodbye to his daughter, but extremely recognizable in his old parish.  

That’s it for my theories on this episode.  I might do a close examination of another pivotal episode at some other point, or I might do something on a scene-by-scene basis, but most of the theories I’ve seen out there (some of them truly inventive, and in my opinion, likely accurate [Avery Drake or Bethany Young both have good chances of being Spencer’s twin]) don’t go into greatly specific detail.  This seemed like a good episode to examine.  Hope you got some ideas from reading!