#me/my sense of accomplishment

[stuckinapril]

The whole “be responsible not for other people’s feelings but to them” distinction is so so true… at some point you need to realize that other people’s insecurities really are their responsibility & dimming or contorting yourself to make them feel better helps neither you nor them. Firstly, bc they need to realize what they’re doing and grow up. And secondly, bc you’re not just compromising on a one-time thing. You’re comprising on who you are as a person. I don’t want to look back when I’m older and stay stuck wishing I held my ground despite people’s projections or asserted my presence more or didn’t apologize so much for who I am. I really just want to own everything (the good and bad) & continue doing what makes me happy

[kindahoping4forever]

⭐ 🐍

[six-of-cringe]

The "ohhhh fuck dolphins, dolphins are evil they kill and rape, ohh otters are evil they rape seal babies, not so cute now are they" people are like the children who would smugly tell anyone who would listen that ring around the rosie is about people dying of the plague. Like ok. Do I need to explain how high intelligence correlates with complex behavior or can you shut the fuck up on your own

[whos-tanya]

Very few things will be quite as chilling to me as when Will hides in Martha’s closet — only to emerge with “The name is Lila.” I cannot describe the amount of confusion and fear I felt hearing that voice during my first playthrough.

[goldiipond]

HAPPY 7TH ANNIVERSARY TPN!!!!!!

i thought it would be fun to celebrate by redrawing the first full tpn piece i ever made! this series means so so much to me and im so grateful for it <3

original from february 2022 under the cut!

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?

[lloydfrontera]

related to that last post that's kinda why i think cpsm revealing that javier had died three years earlier than lloyd is poignant in a very understated way.

javier's original fate was to live when everyone he cared about didn't. he was meant to be the protagonist of that world, to face all kind of threats and survive all of them, but with no one at his side.

he's the narrative's favorite but the narrative's love is not gentle and it is not kind and it will hold you close until you suffocate under its themes and parallels. for the world would bend itself for javier to be at it's center but it would not allow him the comfort of sharing that spot with anyone else.

he was always meant to be the last one standing. fate won't kill him but it won't allow him to die either.

and then comes lloyd with his plot breaking meddling saving everyone around them and shoving his way into the protagonist role, sharing the burden javier wasn't even aware he was carrying. and fate tries so hard to correct itself, it tries by all means possible to put things back the way they were meant to be, but in the end the best it can do is to try and make it so there will only be one main character in the world. the way it was always meant to be.

it concedes. it won't take away everything from its favorite anymore. but it won't stand for there to be two of them.

and the thing is. it wins. it gets what it wants. in the end javier can't save lloyd, he can't take his place, he can't keep him alive, he has to stand and watch him sacrifice himself for everyone else. for javier himself. in the end when the battle is over javier is again the last one standing.

when lloyd comes back and the fate restoration doesn't start up all over again, he thinks it's because lloyd frontera's original body disappeared and he came back in his own body. i don't think it was that. i think the reason fate didn't try to restore itself again is because it had already achieved what it wanted.

the narrative won. not completely. not the way it was originally meant to. but in the end javier ended up as the lone protagonist who watched his loved one die before his eyes.

only then was it satisfied and allowed javier to leave its grasp. only then was he allowed to become a person and not just the main character.

a person who could spend a lifetime with all of his loved ones and when the time came, die peacefully in his sleep, knowing at least the person he came to care the most about will outlive him. at least this time, he won't be the one left behind.

[rysko]

Huge huge fan of the idea that no matter what, if Luca wins the vendetta he WILL fall from grace. Whether he kills the Shelbys or just forces them to sign over the company it will nontheless start a cycle of violence and ambition that will not be stopped (Alfie: You plan to kill us all) whether he wants to or not, ultimately molding him into a reflection of Tommy (which he already kinda was), or something worse. And if the historically accurate eventual downfall of the Italian mafia in england doesn't destroy him, he will do it to himself sooner.

[brzatto]

i don’t ship them but there’s so much untapped potential in sydney and carmy’s unspoken rivalry like it’s the most interesting part of their dynamic for me personally. there’s lots of people who interpret their relationship as mentor/mentee and while i do get that and enjoy that narrative as well sydney is more than competent and proves herself to be carmy’s equal in multiple instances: her typing up a comprehensive breakdown of the beef’s expenses and how they could be handled better, her initiative to create a brick oven when the power goes out at the beef, her instantly knowing the missing component to the plum dish was veal fat. i think carmy and sydney are more like precarious equals because carmy is obviously a more experienced chef than her and he’s gifted and very driven but so is sydney and though he initially relishes in having someone with the experience to understand him and operate on his level, his ego is bruised when sydney lands a stellar review for the beef on a recipe he told her wasn’t good enough yet and he lashes out at her for it so clearly his feelings towards her aren’t always entirely selfless. this on top of the fact jaw said himself there was a subtle unspoken air of competitiveness between him and ayo while they were undergoing culinary training i think that definitely bleeds into their onscreen dynamic with carmy and sydney; the end of e8 sees carmy “making amends” with sydney by discussing the future of the restaurant with her but personally i think the stability of their relationship is tentative at best. they might agree with each other and appear to be on the same page now but how long is that going to last realistically? the more i think about it the more i can see them butting heads over similar issues again in s2 just because they’re both such equally strong willed characters and that’s genuinely exciting and interesting! sydney admires carmy but she isn’t afraid to stand up to him and i think a part of carmy still holds onto that competitive mindset he developed while working his way up to the top and it’s going to take a loooottt for him to unlearn that and it’s not something that can be accomplished just within one season or even two. i think lots of people think of carmy and sydney as being partners/the only people who can “understand” one another in regards to their histories in fine dining and while they do relate to one another in some regards i personally see them as opposing forces with their own respective goals and visions which is great actually and i can’t wait to see what direction each of their characters go in individually and what the storyline has in store for them

[sesamie]

everyone be SO proud i cleaned the downstairs bathroom and now going in there doesn't make me want to die yippeee

[moonshynecybin]

#i was watching motogp inlimited yesterday and valentino was very proudly saying he invented the idea

Someone tell him thats not so cool😭😭😭

the thing is valentino IS cool hes just also mildly delusional

[cowsfae]

🦋🌈🐎🍓🐈 click for better quality :-)

[echoesofadream]

so many books on my tbr and also so many books i have started but not finished and im thinking about reading dostojevskij instead

[weed-cat]

i would never get baby fever or ever consider parenthood in a moment of maternal instinct. y'all stay safe out there though

[sage-nebula]

Something I wonder about is whether Metal Sonic / Overlord calling Tails "unworthy child" will ever be followed up on.

On the one hand, this happened so long ago that it would almost feel weird to bring it up now. On the other, it's such a cutting, damnig criticism that throwing it in and then doing nothing with it feels like there was a story that was intended but cut. It's hard to believe this was just put in there for no reason.

A huge part of Tails' backstory is that he has always looked up to, and wanted to be a hero like, Sonic. And he has felt at times that he falls short of this. His theme from the Adventure games touches on this: "I wanna be strong, I wanna be trusted [. . .] I wanna be cool, I also wanna be like him / but that's not something I can do so easily." His arc in the Adventure games is about him becoming a hero in his own way. He saves Station Square in SA1, he throws (mecha) hands with Eggman in solo showdowns multiple times in SA2, the final time coming right after he's made to believe Eggman just killed Sonic right in front of him. (Which is why his treatment in Forces is so infuriating, but! This is not the post for that.) Tails doesn't have Sonic's strengths, but that's okay, because he has his own strengths that Sonic doesn't have, and his Adventure theme touches on this, too. "There are things only I can do."

But although Tails does become a hero in his own right, and has so much more confidence in his strengths now than he used to, I think he could still struggle with the thought that he's not enough sometimes. As much as I fucking hate what Forces did to him, this arc in the comics still does directly follow Forces, wherein Sonic was captured and Tails couldn't do anything to help him. What does that say about him? How does that make him feel? Is he good enough? Does he deserve to be at Sonic's side?

The use of the word "unworthy" is a deliberate one. Metal isn't calling Tails stupid, or weak, or slow, or anything else that could be an easily dismissable, shallow insult. He's calling him unworthy. He's saying, maybe you are smart, fast, or strong. Maybe you can build computers and pilot airships and maybe even crash one into me. But you are still not good enough. You are still an unworthy child. It's such a deliberate precision strike against Tails' insecurities. Metal wasn't just lashing out. He somehow knew just how to hurt Tails and he stabbed into that squishy weak spot with extreme prejudice.

And then . . . nothing ever came of it.

Of course, literally 2 pages later we had Sonic hyping Tails up:

So maybe that's why. Metal called him unworthy, but Sonic called what he did amazing. So . . . problem solved? I wouldn't think so, but I'm also not on the creative team for these comics, so 🤷‍♀️ If I was, Tails wouldn't be referred to as a "sidekick" in his cast blurb while everyone else gets to be called a hero (or heroine), lol.

But anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this. It's just something I was thinking about as I try to sleep despite my illness making that difficult.

[astromechs]

figuring out i have published nearly 60,000 words of rebelcaptain fic to ao3 in the past year, and that's just the stuff i've published