#meaning she still probably laughs while trying to murder things

[autumnleaves1991-blog]

The Bear (Anders Lassen x F! Reader)

Request from @wunder-blunder: I'm (VERY) interested in Anders Lassen (The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare) x female reader, I really enjoyed your fic Living for Later (a part 2 for that would be awesome)! So, if you're still interested/reading, my idea is that the group (Anders, Gus, etc.) go to a bar after they get out of confinement at the end of the movie, and that's where Anders and the female reader meet. The female reader (very understandably) can't stop staring at Anders so he walks over to ask why she's staring. The female reader will say how she's just shocked that anyone would let a bear into a bar (Anders is the bear), flirty banter happens and eventually leads to much more explicit things.

Pairing: Anders Lassen x Female Reader

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, minors do not interact. 18 + ONLY. Oral M & F receiving, language, thigh riding, p in v, happy ending.

Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare Masterlist

"Taste that, Gentlemen," Gus holds up his pint, "the taste of freedom." They click their glasses together, beer sloshing over the side and landing on the bar top before they tip back the pints.

"Damn, I don't think anything could taste better," Freddy sighs, looking at his glass like a lover.

Anders smiles to himself, "I can think of something." His eyes scan across the room, his back casually leaning against the bar.

"Naughty boy, Lassen," Apple laughs, taking another sip and glancing around at the lack of women in the pub. "But it doesn't look like you're going to have much luck around here."

"Would you like another?" Anders turns slowly, his heartbeat quickening when he sees you there behind the bar, the other bartender giving you a smile and a pat on the back as he heads out. "Jesus," you whistle, "I didn't know we let bears in here."

"What?" Anders sits straighter looking around for the threat.

You giggle, "I meant you," you point at him, "you look like a fuckin' bear. What did you do to get a body like that? Bench press cars?"

His cheeks turn pink and he coughs, adjusting his glasses, "I-well I."

"Steamin' Jesus," Apple chuckles, "she's got you tongue-tied Lassen!"

You give the one called Lassen a playful wink before pouring him another pint and placing it before him. "This one's on the house, didn't mean to embarrass ya in front of your friends."

"It's no trouble," he turns and speaks at his friends between clenched teeth, "they seem to have lost their manners in prison."

"Prison?" you stand straighter looking between the patrons, "you lot just got out of prison?" They nod sheepishly, "what the hell for?"

"That's classified," the one with the dark black facial hair and curls speaks up. "But we were found innocent and released today."

"So you're not raging murderous psychopaths?" you ask, refilling their glasses and wiping down the bar from the previous spill.

"Only when it comes to Nazis," you look at the Bear and feel a smile pull at your lips.

"Well, that's just fine then."

The rest of the night passes quickly, you make conversation with the other patrons, fix drinks, and try not the spend the entire time drooling over the beast of a man seated at your ber. While all of those things go well, the latter is hard to accomplish. It probably isn't helpful that you can feel his eyes follow you around the room.

And when your eyes meet, it's fucking electric. He's so big, he barely fits on the chair, his shirt sleeves rolled up leave little to the imagination and it makes your seriously want to know if he's that big, everywhere.

"Last call, gents," you ring the bell, seeing a handful of regulars come up for a final pint or to settle their bill.

You move about the room, starting the closing tasks for the evening, tossing goodbyes over your shoulder until the chime of the door is silenced. But when you look up your breath catches at seeing one lone patron remaining.

"We're closed," your voice comes out breathy, and you clear your throat. He's silent, watching you like he has all night, and you feel your assessment of him as a bear was accurate. He's an animal alright, and he's hungry.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, crossing his arms across him onto the bar top, and resting his chin on his hands. "Say the word, and I will go."

The words slip out before you can process, "No," he smiles, "I don't want you to leave."

He nods, before straightening, "what do we need to do to go?"

"Oh," you quickly lift your hands, shaking your head, "no, you just sit there, I can finish by myself."

He stands and your eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. Fuck, he is a giant, towering over you. You didn't get to grasp how tall he was when he sat at the bar all evening and your panties drench just thinking of how big he is. The thought from earlier comes back with a vengeance and you gulp, your eyes traveling down his body.

"See something you like?" He holds out his arms and turns for you, smirking when he catches your eyes, "are you just going to look, darling?"

"No," you swallow, shaking your head, and moving to stand before him. Tentatively you reach a hand out towards his chest, gasping when he grabs your wrist and pulls you into his orbit. His chest is solid muscle beneath your palm, and you move across his chest towards his arm, tongue coming out to lick your lips.

He groans, and your eyes snap to his, but his arm on your lips, "can I kiss you?" he asks, his hand coming to rest on your chin, his thumb pulling down your bottom lip before you bend your head and take it into your mouth. Tongue swirling around his digit, sucking it between your lips before letting go with a pop.

"Knulla," he mumbles under his breath.

"Kiss me Bear," you command and he wastes not a moment. His arms wrapping around your waist and hoisting you into his arms before your ass lands on the bar top. He nestles his body between your thighs, spreading them far to make room for his large form.

"Tell me you want this," he's so close, and you feel a little drunk having him so close. "Tell me," you pulls you towards the edge of the counter, your soaking through your panties, skirt bunched around him, "that you want me to fuck you. That you'll let me take you home and do everything I've been dreaming to do to you all night."

The sound of your heart beating is so deafening you can guarantee he can hear it. "Yes," you whimper, begging him with your body to put you out of your misery and kiss you.

"Then," he takes a step back, lowering your skirts, "what do we need to do to leave?"

You huff, crossing your arms and withering on the bar top, desperate for any kind of friction. The Bear misses nothing though and quickly steps forward, pulling you off the counter and to your feet. "None of that," he chastises playfully, "the only thing getting you off tonight will be me."

"Hmph," you step out of his arms, crossing your own across your chest. "You won't even kiss me, how do I know it's even worth letting you take me home?"

"I see," he nods, "the little barn needs a taste."

You don't get a chance to ask about the meaning of the word before he has you pinned to the wall, his knee slotted between your skirts and his mouth hot on your own. It's like an inferno, his mouth moving with your own in a complicated waltz only you two knowing the steps. When he lifts his knee, and presses it to your cunt, you gasp, his tongue sliding into your mouth and tangling with your own.

You are lost to everything but him, and when he raises his boot to his toes and rolls his leg up and down you quickly grasp onto his shoulders, his forehead pressed to your own. You close your eyes and rock your hips, being held completely off the ground by his tree trunk of a thigh.

"That's it," he praises, holding onto your hips and helping you move back and forth on his thigh. "Your bear is hungry," he latches his lips onto your neck when your head drops back against the wall. "Hmm," he groans, sucking and leaving bites along your neck, "I want you to cum," he whispers in your ear, sucking your earlobe between his lips. "Then I'm gonna take you home and lick that pretty pussy clean until you make a mess all over my face, again."

The combination of the filth rolling off his tongue and the strong thigh beneath you, working together with his hands on your waist is all too much. You grab him around the neck with one arm and the other hand is on his arm and you pull yourself up and down with a small cry and a whimper of his name as you fall apart beneath his skilled fingers.

Your breath is loud in the silence of the pub and you both still as he slowly lowers you to the ground. The legs you stand on are wobbly and he quickly reaches out an arm to steady you. "Are you alright, my darling?" he asks softly, running a hand over your face, and smiling when you nod. "You were so beautiful," he marvels, "if that's how gorgeous you look cumming on my thigh. You will rival the gods when you cum on my cock."

"Lassen," you whimper his name and he closes his eyes and controls his breathing.

"Please, call me Anders," he begs, slowly opening his eyes and taking a step back, "what do we need to do to finish?"

"Nothing," you shake your head, turning to reach over the bar for your purse, "I'm opening the bar tomorrow at 11, I'll come in early and finish it."

"We should finish it now," he argues gently, holding up a hand to interrupt you, "trust me."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think you're going to make it in tomorrow." You eyes widen and you go to ask the question when he offers the answer, "you'll be lucky to walk tomorrow when I'm through with you."

The two of you make quick work of the closing tasks and after making a quick call to your boss about covering for the next day you both finally leave the pub. The London air is chilly and you pull your threadbare coat tighter around your body, locking the door behind you. A couple passes when you turn and you sigh looking at the womans fine coat and gloves, a girl could dream.

A heavy weight drops across your shoulders, the scent of tobacco and leather heady as you snuggle into the warmth. "Let's get you home," Anders, reaches an arm around you and you turn towards home. If it wasn't for the spend dripping down your thighs, you'd think it was just an evening stroll between a couple. You'd always wish you had a man to meet you after work and walk you home. Someone to make sure you made it home safe.

With Anders arms around you, you could almost pretend. You walked in comfortable silence, the tension from earlier simmering as your pace quickened when your apartment came into view. You took the steps two at a time, and before long you stood before the door.

You shrug off his coat and hand it to him before reaching into your purse for your keys. The room is dark and you move around the room, turning on lamps and hanging up your coat. The deadbolt is deafening and when you turn to look towards the door, your jaw drops.

The whole thing happens in slow motion, his eyes on you the whole time. He’s wearing suspenders and he lowers each side till their hanging at his waist. His hands are slow, methodical, as he unbuttons each button of his shirt. Your own hands mirroring his actions as you slip the buttons of your shirt in time with each of his. He tugs the shirt off and your mouth waters. His chest is a canvas of scars, and for a second he looks unsure as you step forward, hand reaching out to trace the long one across his abdomen. 

“How did that happen?” you ask, whispering. He tells you everything, your hand tracing each and every scar before going over them with your lips. 

When you’ve finished tracing your tongue across the last scar, a bullet he received two years ago protecting a child does he find his voice. “You’re not disgusted?” 

“My handsome Bear,” you cradle his face, “these scars are the canvas of your life. The life you’ve fought so hard to live. I could never be disgusted.” 

He lets out a shallow breath before nodding, “Thank you.” 

“No,” you hold a finger to his lips, “no thank you are necessary. It is I who should be thanking you.” You trace your hand down his abdomen and reach for his belt, holding his gaze when you begin to open his pants and lower the zipper, dropping to your knees and licking your lips as you work the pants down his legs. 

His cock is magnificent, and you are pleased to know he really is that large, everywhere. “Fuck,” you mumble, wondering for a moment how you’ll even manage to get him in your mouth let alone your pussy. He’s silent, watching you and he steps out of his pants, tossing them and his shoes into the corner and standing before you completely naked. 

You reach for his cock and give it a tentative stroke, your hand not even encompassing half his size, mouth salivating at the dribble of pre-cum pooling at the end. You stick out your tongue and lick the end of his cock, moaning softly at the salty taste. “Fan, gör det igen älskling,” he moans head dropping back and you feel encouraged by the broken way he just sounded.

Your jaw strains from the stretch but you manage to slide about half of him down your throat before you hit the back. Your panties drip onto the floor, when you pull him back out and in, lubricating the rest so your hands can slide in time with your mouth. You want to touch your pussy so bad, it’s throbbing but his moans of pleasure are enough to get you off. He leans down, putting one of his hands on your head and guiding you deeper, gagging on his cock. 

Anders looks down, his mouth dropped open on a moan, watching the saliva drip down your chin and splash like raindrops on your exposed breasts. He wants to lick them, open his mouth wide and suck each gorgeous globe between his lips, teasing your nipple with his tongue. But right now he’s lost to the way you look at him. Tears streaming down your chin as you attempt to take him deeper and deeper with each thrust of his hips, he’s so fucking close and he wants to cum inside your mouth, watch your mouth fill with the white creamy cum and see your throat bob as your swallow down his load. 

“I’m gonna cum,” he warns, holding your head still and listening to your gag as he cums down your throat with a loud groan of your name. It’s as beautiful as he thought when he pulls out and watches you gasp, hands on his thighs as you try to catch your breath, his cum all over your lips until you lick them clean with a grin. 

Anders reaches a hand out, pulling you up and quickly disposing of the rest of your clothes. He doesn’t bother with your bra straps, the fabric ripping and tossed in the corner before he’s tossing you over his shoulder and heading for the bedroom. You let out a loud squeal but he silences you when he fondles your ass, giving it a sharp slap. 

He tries three doors before he finds the bedroom, and tosses you onto the bed - tits bouncing with the force. “Spread your legs for me, darling,” he drops to his knees and crawls up the bed, nestling himself between your thighs. “Let me see that messy cunt.” He lifts one of your legs and rests it on his shoulder, spreading you wide, and running a thick finger between your folds. “Hmm,” he hums happily, spreading your wetness all over your folds. 

Anders leans forward and you reach down, grabbing his hair with one hand, the other quickly reaching behind you for the pillow when he licks at your clit. Almost like a kitten licking a bowl of milk, he hums, the vibrations traveling up your body and you wither, groaning when he lifts his other arm and rests it across your stomach keeping you still. 

That’s when everything changes. Gone is the kitten and the bear comes out to play. He devours you, his nose dragging through your slit and he tongue following, playing with your clit like the expert marksman you assume he is. 

“Anders,” you try to rock your hips and he lets up with his grip, letting you ride his face. 

He pulls up for air, watching mesmerized as your hips lift trying to follow his mouth. You halt when he spits on your pussy, the sound lewd and loud your leg rising as he lifts one of his arms and puts it between you. You arch off the bed on a gasp when he slides two of his thick fingers inside you. 

You grasp the arm at your waist in an iron grip, moving your hips up and down. He curls his fingers and you see stars. “Fuck!” He leans down, sucking your clit back into his mouth and moving his tongue back and forth. The slight stubble leaves a delicious burn that aches. “I’m gonna-“ you pant, struggling to get the words out before you feel the pressure build and explode soaking his fingers. He doesn’t lose momentum, riding your high out until you’re pushing his face away. 

He crawls up your body and rests his body gently on your own. He rests his head on your chest, like he did on his arms back at the bar, grinning. 

“You look quite pleased with yourself,” you run your fingers through his hair, his head tilting to rest more into your hand. 

“I am,” he smiles, “to have a beautiful woman fall apart on my tongue is a blissful thing.” 

“You must have had many women to have such skill.” The idea leaves a sour feeling in your stomach and your hand falls back to your chest but he quickly moves his head beneath your hand to encourage your touch. 

“I haven’t,” his words surprise you and you meet his eyes to see them already upon you. “Been with many women that is. Just two.” You’re unsure if you believe him, but he places a kiss between your breasts and moves up your body to gently kiss your lips. His cock grows hard against your belly with each swipe of his tongue against your own. “I want to see you cum again,” he whispers against your lips. 

“Then fuck me-“ the words die on your tongue when he lifts your legs and presses them into your stomach, his cock brushing through your folds. 

“As you wish,” he grins, pressing just the head inside you. You gasp, tossing your head back as he works himself deeper and deeper inside you with each thrust of his hips. 

“Oh god,” you moan, his thumb working your clit as he finally fits himself all the way inside you. 

His chuckle has your eyes snapping open to look at him with a tilt of your head and he gives you a wink, “Not god, darling, just me.” 

“You assho-” he rocks his hips, pulling back all the way before slamming back in again. You can’t breathe, each stroke of his enormous cock punching the oxygen from your lungs. 

You close your eyes, lost in the sensations he brings out, each snap of his hips fills you deeper and deeper, and you’re sure you can feel him poking out of your stomach. The room is otherwise silent besides your panting breath, incoherent mumblings of his name, and the lewd sounds of his cock pumping into your soaked pussy. 

“Look at me,” Anders, nudges his head against your own and you slowly open your eyes. “There you are,” he praises, kissing you deeply, “keep your eyes on me, I want to see you cum.” 

“An-Anders,” you hold onto both his arms and look between you, seeing him disappear inside you with each movement of his massive body. The pressure in your belly builds like a volcano bound to explode and he sees it, moving his hips quicker and chasing your release with his own. 

“Cum for me, darling,” he commands, his accent strong, “cum now.” You obey, arching your chest up into him and letting out a loud moan, squeezing around his cock so tight. “Shit,” he groans, flooding you with his release. It’s hot and thick and you can feel it drip down your thighs, leaving them sticky. 

He stays buried deep inside you, his massive arms on either side of your head keeping himself upright so he does not crush you. You want to feel his weight on you, feel him keep you there with his body, never let you go. But eventually, he does, but not before kisses are pressed over every inch of your face. He may be a bear in appearance; a fierce fighter that could tear your limb from limb with little thought. But inside hes nothing but a teddy bear, a lover, someone you could easily get attached too. 

“Wheres the bathroom?” he asks, sitting up, his eyes fixed on where he’s left a mess licking his lips. You point to the door in the corner and he reluctantly rises. God, he’s a fucking sight, all hard lines and muscles, and with each step away you want to shout for him to return. 

He returns quickly with a clothe, wiping you clean and collapsing back into bed. Tugging you into his arms, sleep quickly finds you, his arm rubbing up and down your back and humming a soft swedish lullaby. 

By the time you awaken the clock reads 1 pm and the bed is long cold. No note, no sign he was even there besides the two wet towels hanging in the bathroom. You hate how dissapointed you feel at his absence but the ache between your legs from the six additional orgasms since the night before remind you that even if you wished too you couldn’t have gone again. He had to leave eventually. 

The shower works out some of the kinks in your muscles but you still move slowly throughout the flat, trying to muster the strength to go into work that evening. While your boss had been accepting of missing the opening shift at the pub you couldn’t get out of closing tonight. 

The pub is loud when you arrive and you smile at the other bartender before jumping into the fray and starting to take orders. The night moves quickly luckily despite your melancholy mood, several of the regulars pick up on it; cracking jokes in the hopes of alleviating some of the sadness. 

From behind you notice another seat fill at the bar and go to turn, “What can I get-” the words evaporate on your tongue—a great bear of a man filling the bar stool before you. You look at one another, the pub continuing around you like it didn’t know your world was slowly tilting on its axis. 

“You,” he puts his arms on the bar top and smiles at you, “I would like to have you.” 

“You did,” you cross your arms over your chest, “you left without a word.” 

He lifts a bag from the floor and puts it on top of the counter, “I needed to go grab this.” 

He’s piqued your curiosity and knows it, grinning like a schoolboy as you uncross your arms and move closer, to pull the bag down and look inside. The contents are ordinary, clothes and an extra pair of shoes, a shaving kit, several knives, and guns. “I don’t understand,” you glance up at him and catch the quick hint of vulnerability. 

He clears his throat, “I went to grab my things. So I could come back home.” 

“Home?” you feel a tightness in your throat, “and where might that be?” 

“I already told you, darling. You. You, are my home.” 

“We hardly know one another,” the first tear slips down your cheek and he stands leaning over the bar to brush it away. “You could be a madman for all I know, a brute, a beast.” 

He holds a hand to his chest, mock offense clear on his face, “I am no such thing. I am a lover, not a fighter. You raise a brow at him, pulling out the large hunting knife from his bag and he grins sheepishly, “Okay, I am a bit of a fighter.” 

You stare at him, him watching with bated breath for you to decide if he’s worth this effort. But you know you already decided when you turned around and saw him there. “You’re paying half the rent,” he beams, nodding happily, “and doing the washing and dishes. I won’t be a little housewife doing all the work while you sit around and drink.” 

“I can cook,” he stands, coming around the bar, the other patrons watching him curiously, looking between the two of you. “I’m very handy around the house,” he wraps his arms around your waist, your hands falling naturally to his chest. “I make the bed, clean up after myself, and will be your own personal guard dog, darling, no one will ever hurt you. I promise.” 

He leans down to kiss you but you pull back, watching the little crease between his brows deepen in confusion. “I don’t want a guard dog,” you whisper to his conspiritorily, “I want a bear.” 

His laugh is loud and booming before he nods, “yes, my love, I’ll be your bear.” When he finally presses his lips to yours, the bar erupts in cheers, and for the first time in the long time, you’re exactly where you want to be.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Zipper

Day #12 - Prompt: Ow! | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: M | CW: Aftermath of a Sex Injury | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Minor Steddie | Tags: Gareth's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, And Eddie Tries To Make It Better, While Goodie Tries To Make It Worse

"Is it bad? It feels bad," Gareth says, clearly refusing to look down again. And, he's gotta say, Eddie doesn't blame him. He wouldn't want to look down either if it was his dick in this condition.

"Well," Eddie says, as diplomatically as he can, "it's not great."

Gareth whines from his place on the closed toilet seat, as Eddie is squatted down between his thighs. Looking, examining. 

"It's probably gonna fall off," Goodie chimes in, and Eddie reaches over and swats at him. 

"Stop it," Eddie chides, because that's not gonna help anything, then he reassures Gareth, "It's not gonna fall off."

Goodie laughs his ass off, and Eddie's gonna kill him if he keeps this up. Gareth's freaked out enough as it is. These things happen, and yeah, Gareth seems more prone to stupid accidents than the rest of them. But still. This is brand new territory, even for him.

But Eddie's pretty sure it probably feels like it's gonna fall off, even if it isn't, because goddamn, fucking ow. 

The door out in the main room of the hotel opens and closes, and then Jeff is in the doorway of the bathroom, asking, "Why does it look like Eddie's examining Gareth's dick?"

"Because he is. Gareth tried to rub it off," Goodie says, dryly.

"He didn't try to rub it off," Eddie clarifies. 

Jeff leans over Eddie's shoulder, "Looks like he tried to rub it off."

"I didn't try to rub it off!" Gareth shouts. "If you aren't gonna tell me what I need to do to fix it, then let's all stop looking at my junk."

Eddie laughs, because it's ridiculous. It's not like he asked to look. Definitely not. Eddie lifts it up one more time, and man, it looks like he's been stabbed in the dick with an icepick, right under the head.

"What happened?" Jeff asks, and Gareth sighs, because he's already been through this twice before and he's beyond fed up. He told Eddie, and then told it all again to Goodie when he showed up, even if he really didn't want to, Eddie's sure. 

And now Jeff is here and wanting to know, too.

"So, I was fooling around with this girl last night," Gareth says, like he's giving witness testimony in a murder trial and not a sex story.

"And she bit your dick?" Jeff asks. 

"Tried to Lorena Bobbitt it right off," Goodie riffs.

"Yeah, with her teeth," Eddie adds, piling onto the bit. Can't help it. He feels sorry for the kid, but not that sorry.

"Guys!" Gareth shouts, and they all fucking laugh. But let him continue.

"We were fooling around, and she was grinding on my lap, my cock, and it got caught up against my zipper in a weird way," Gareth says, and the rest of them all shift uncomfortably, as if their dicks might be the next in line for such an injury.

"It didn't hurt while it was happening?" Jeff asks, being far more empathetic and reasonable than Eddie thinks Goodie or him have been.

"Of course it fucking hurt, she was rubbing a hole into my goddamn dick through my underwear with little metal teeth."

"Well, why didn't you stop her?" Jeff asks, like a reasonable solution to this would ever be the answer. 

"Because there was a girl grinding on my dick, Jesus H. Christ, why do you think, asshole?" Gareth snaps, and they all laugh. 

"I mean, you could have paused and done some rearranging, right? The options couldn't have only been 'no grinding' or 'hole in the dick', right?"

"I don't know, I didn't want her to stop what she was doing. Okay? It felt good, except for the whole making an extra hole in my dick part."

"Of course," Goodie says dryly, "that makes sense."

"Shut up, Goodie. Like you'd have ever stopped a fucking hot girl from grinding your dick down to a bloody nub," Gareth snips, covering his face with both of his hands. "Just fix it, Eddie."

Eddie isn't sure how he's supposed to fix this. It's just gonna have to heal. He can't make a hole in the dick go away. He's not a magician.

"Did you have sex like this?" Jeff asks.

"Are you crazy? I have a hole in my dick, no, I didn't have sex. I have a hole in my dick and I didn't even come. I have regrets."

And they all laugh.

Gareth's had enough, Eddie can tell.

"Okay, okay, show's over," Eddie says, and shoos the other two out of the room, the door closing behind them as they go, and then it's just him, still perched between Gareth's thighs.

Once it's just them left in the bathroom, Eddie looks up at Gareth, "Do you think you need to go to the ER?"

Gareth shakes his head, "No. It just really fucking hurts. I regret everything."

Eddie smiles, but keeps himself from laughing. It's hilarious, but it probably feels like a razor blade's stuck into his dick. It's the stuff of nightmares.

Eddie nods at him, "Okay. Then take a shower. Wash it really fucking good with soap, even if it burns, and then put some ointment on it. I'll find some gauze, or a band-aid, something. Then just keep an eye on it. Make sure it's getting better, not worse. Unless you really do want it to fall off?"

"Definitely not," Gareth says.

"Okay, that's the plan," Eddie says standing up. It's times like these that he wishes he wasn't the go-to whenever any of them need help, because this? This wasn't on his schedule for the day.

"Hey," Eddie says into the phone, "I touched another man's dick this morning. Thought you should know."

Steve laughs into the receiver, thousands of miles away, "What'd Gareth do now?"

Eddie smiles, big and bright. At the knowledge that Steve knows him, trusts him, loves him. 

And then he starts into the whole grizzly debacle, from top to tip. 

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

Notes: This is inspired by based off of Kevin Smith's comedic retelling of his first night with his wife. (Explicit story, but linked if you want to hear the original.)

[lririx]

hii!! if ur still taking reqs, may i kindly humbly respectfully ask for some fools gold x hunter reader? like, probably insane, bloodthirsty, maybe a cunt too cuz lowkey, we kinda need more mean and/or hunter y/ns n i rlly like ur demi x lady D write up <333

but bein frfrfr we need someone to match FG's freak and i will stand on this hill till someone hits me with a shovel or something. enewayz!!! yeah, that is all, ty!!

much loves ❤️💖💘💞💘💞💝💖💘💞💝❤️

Fool's Gold, one of the most brutal hunters in the Manor. No one thought there would be anyone worse than him. But they were wrong.

You came to the Manor. An even crazier hunter. A complete psychopath.

Your first interaction with Norton wasn't the best. He acted arrogant towards you implying how good of a hunter he is.

You didn't like him. So you decided to show him who's going to be the top hunter from now on.

In your first match no one thought you'd win. But you won. With a four kill.

Everyone was surprised. Norton hated you however. Well you did take the tile and the glory he had.

Because of this you two turned into enemies. Every day in the Manor was chaotic.

You two insulted eachother every day.

One day Keigan had to cover Robbie's ears because of all the thing you were saying to eachother.

One time you and Norton ended up together on duo hunters.

You started to steal eachothers downs.

Teamwork? What's that? You two sabotaged eachother instead of helping eachother.

Some survivors could run away because of this but not for long. Most of them needed up spraining their ankles when they saw you two dash towards them at full speed.

You two ended up completely breaking one of the buildings in Eversleeping Town when you were racing to down Aesop.

Then you just started to fight and argue with eachother.

While you were shouting your lungs off Fiona got the crowbar and slowly opened the dungeon. Then the last five remaining survivors escaped which made you lose but neither of you cared since you were so annoyed with eachother.

Both of you were prohibited from attending any matches for two weeks.

This went on for quite some time. Your attitudes towards eachother got even worse.

Mary was finally done with your shenanigans. No one had peace because of you two.

She dragged both of you to the lounge and threatened you to fix your problems or else. Then she left and locked the door.

There was an awkward silence between you two but Norton broke it with saying how it was your fault that you ended up in this situation.

This caused you to snap back at him and you two started arguing for a while until both of you were tired of it.

You decided to make a deal. A deal to not try and murder eachother. To only compete with rank levels and to not disturb the others.

This was the first time both of you agreed on cooperating with eachother.

Your relationship wasn't any different at first. In fact you didn't talk to eachother that much since you didn't banter anymore.

It was nice at first. The Manor was quiet and you had time to relax. But after a while it felt like something was missing.

You should be grateful that Norton doesn't bother you anymore. Norton should be grateful that you don't sabotage his matches anymore.

But it didn't feel right.

Why couldn't he take his eyes off of you? Why did he feel excited everytime you won a match?

That bloodthirsty expression of yours.

That sadistic look on your face.

Those crazy laughs you blurt out during matches.

Why couldn't he get these thoughts out of his mind?

One day you were frustrated because Servias kept tricking you in the match which caused you to lose.

You heard someone knock on your door.

“Are you in there?” Asked Norton.

“Piss off.” You hissed at him.

He ignored what you said and let himself in your room.

“I told you to p-” He threw a bar of chocolate at your face.

“Eat up.” He said. “It'll make you forget how badly you lost.”

You threw a pillow at him and he just laughed and threw himself on your bed.

“What do you want?” You asked him.

“Nothing just thinking how embarrassed you must be feeling right now.” He said as he grinned widely.

“Dickhead.”

“Is that a new ni-” You shoved a piece of chocolate in his mouth to shut him up.

After that your relationship was…weird?

You didn't act like life long enemies. Instead you were like close friends who bickered all the time.

If you were under the weather he'd grab you and not let go until you begged him to.

If he wasn't feeling well you would go and make jokes until he laughed.

Both of you had your pride so you didn't let the other person win that easily either.

This made you become closer with eachother. Close to the point where he'd come to spend time with you if he had nightmares. Close to the point where you would let him hold you if the thoughts of your past wandered through your mind.

All of these had led to today.

You have a duo hunters match with Norton.

Both of you were pretty excited since you can cooperate with eachother quite well and have a fun time in the match.

The match went on smoothly but there were times you'd mess up. I mean the way Norton timed his skills so perfectly to prevent a rescue.

The way he psychotically dashed towards survivors.

The way you sometimes caught him gazing at your direction.

All of these made you distracted.

There were only three people left. You were chasing Evelyn when Norton accidentally dashed infront of you which caused you to trip and fall.

“Watch where you're going dumbass.” He snickered and offered his hand to help you get up.

“YOU watch where you're going.” You scoff. “And stop following me would you?”

“Who said I was following you?”

“Why do I see you everywhere then?”

“Maybe because you're so fond of me that your eyes find me all the time.” His grin grew wide.

“Don't flatter yourself. It's you who can't spend an hour without me.” You try not to blush.

“I think you're talking about yourself love.”

“Don't make me do something I'll regret.”

“What are you going to do? Come on show me wh-”

You grab his face and kiss him so quickly that he doesn't process what happened for a minute.

You're screaming on the inside. What did you just do? Why did you do that? He's probably so pissed right now.

You try to pull away but he grabs the back of your head and deepens the kiss. He doesn't want to let go and neither do you.

[onigiriico]

Kazui audio drama (t2) - English TL

[ links: Spotify / Youtube ]

I cannot believe my hs philosophy class came in handy as I was translating this. Thanks Milgram your references never fail to astound me

Aaanyways you know how it is,, feel free to send an ask or hit me up on Twitter if you’ve got any questions or other feedback re: this translation etc 💪 (<- sincerely hoping that Twitter DMs still work these days)

⬇️ translation under the cut ⬇️

(door opens)

E: I’ve kept you waiting, Kazui.

K: It’s been a while, Warden-kun.

E: Yeah… It has been.

K: Things have gotten pretty tough inside the prison, but… well, you’ve probably heard all about that from the others already, haven’t you?

E: Yeah… I heard that you protected other prisoners from Kotoko. I owe you my thanks.

K: That much is only natural. However… she really is strong, isn’t she? I mean, I’ve experienced some fights myself, but [going up against] a woman like her was a first.

E: Hm… Is she strong enough that even you can’t stop her from doing harm?

K: Well, in cases like this, it’s generally the heavier person who ends up winning. After all, if she really does have proper killing intent, I can’t afford to let her injure anyone. It’s difficult, isn’t it.

E: Is that so…

K: I was afraid that it’d come to this from the very beginning. There’s a lot of young kids here, too. It’d be hard for anyone to keep a decent mentality in a situation like this.

E: …You’re pretty rational.

K: I wonder. Maybe it’s because I’m used to violence. Even so… I couldn’t make it for Shiina-chan. I feel responsible for [what happened to] her.

E: …

K: Well, rest assured, though. As long as I can move, I’ll be protecting [the others]. After all, it’s pretty much just me who can fight her on equal terms.

E: Mikoto, too.

K: Ah… yeah. Like back when he went out of control, right? I can’t quite read him, though… If both of them were to attack us, it’s possible that we’d suffer a total defeat. 

E: A total defeat…?

K: If that happens, this prison game would probably come to an end as well. All of that depends on your judgment, right, Warden-kun? Who will be forgiven by you and who won’t be…

E: What are you trying to say?

K: If at all possible, I would like you to choose a method that will not get any more people hurt. That’s what I’m saying.

E: So you’re telling me to forgive you?

K: (laughs) Oi, oi…! Don’t look at me like that.

E: I’m the Warden. If I forgive you, I forgive you. If I don’t, I don’t. There’s no other factors to it.

K: (sighs) Wouldn’t it be okay? I mean, this situation with prisoners being hurt wasn’t what you wanted either, was it?

E: …

K: Just pretend that you’re looking at our sins, and make your judgment with the protection of the prisoners in mind. After all, nobody can read your mind – so that much craftiness would be fine, don’t you think?

E: Hmph. That’s a very “you” kind of pretentious solution.

K: It’s the most natural conclusion, isn’t it? Do you think it’s a sin to lie in order to protect people?

E: That would be Kant.

K: Kant?

E: A philosopher who stated that lying is inherently a sin, no matter the circumstances.

K: Huh…

E: Apparently, even if your friend is being chased by a murderer and the murderer asks you about their whereabouts, you shouldn’t lie, according to Kant.

K: That’s ridiculous. If you can save someone by telling a lie, that’s what you should do.

E: However… You killed someone with your lies, didn’t you?

K: … Ah… You forgave me, didn’t you? Aren’t you being especially strict towards me?

E: Am I?

K: Mmh, it’s obvious. You said you would figure out my murder by watching the footage of my mind. Is this the result of that?

E: You were unfaithful, right? That’s stupid.

K: Hmm…

E: The reason I forgave you was because I was lacking details. I still don’t understand your true feelings or how things got to that point, either.

K: I see.

E: It was extremely hard to understand. Even with all of that poetry, though, your self-absorbed nature was more than obvious.

K: Ohh my… That’s quite the sweeping generalization, even though you forgave me.

E: It’s a personal dislike of mine. People who act based on their sexual urges like that, that is.

K: It’s personal?

E: Yeah. That’s right.

K: That’s strange. I did think that, despite being neutral as a Warden, you had some things you dislike, but…

E: …

K: Isn’t it unusual to openly reveal a personal dislike as a personal dislike?

E: You’re splitting hairs.

K: Seems like you really disliked my crime… I get it! Maybe it was because you’re so young, which is to say… …

E: Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It’s disgusting.

K: …

E: …! (punches him)

(clattering)

E: (sighs) Now I feel better.

K: — Ow…! What are you doing all of a sudden…?!

E: It was an instinctive reaction. Don’t take it personally.

K: Would you stop just punching me in the face without hesitation? … (sighs) Anyways… that’s how it is, huh? That’s how it is…?

E: Hah?

K: I didn’t even consider this a possibility… Personal impressions sure can be scary.

E: If you say any more things than this that I don’t get, I’m hitting you again.

K: Geez, cut out the hysterics… Hmm, if it’s like this, that explains some things, though. I don’t have kids, but I’ve heard that this is what it’s like.

E: Hey. Stop blabbering on while looking like you know it all. It���s obnoxious.

K: Hahaha! But you know what? You’re wrong.

E: …? What are you talking about?

K: You’re wrong.

E: …

K: You said I was unfaithful – in other words, that I cheated or committed adultery of some kind.

E: Yeah. That’s what I deduced from your footage.

K: It’s not true. It didn’t even turn into infidelity. It didn’t turn into anything like that. For me… In my case, you see.

E: … You’re married… You’re a married man, aren’t you?

K: Hm? Yeah, that’s right. Oh, right, I never told you, did I?

E: You’ve taken off your ring.

K: … Right… I did take it off, huh. Right…

E: Yeah.

K: Mh. … I do carry it with me, though. See? – I was forgiven. My feelings were validated. So… maybe that means that I don’t have to do this anymore? Thanks to that, I was feeling better when the second trial started… I really do feel sorry about that. Towards my wife.

E: If that ring is a symbol of punishment to you… There really is nothing that could possibly be more cruel towards her.

K: Mmh.

E: Marriage is something that both partners want equally, isn’t it? It’s something you can’t do if only one person wants it. Deciding to treat it as a punishment all on your own… You’re making a mockery out of it.

K: I really am. Ah… She must have thought so as well. My wife, that is.

E: I’ve said this before: You’re a liar. Those lies have killed a person.

K: (sighs)

E: I forgave you. While I wasn’t sure yet, I thought that it didn’t seem like you killed her directly, and with all sorts of things taken into consideration, I judged that your murder was not a sin. However. That doesn’t mean that I’m praising your nature as a liar.

K: Yeah. I believe you’re right about that.

E: In short – between love and hate, [I would say] I hate you. Remember that.

K: … I get that.

E: Huh?

K: I despise myself for lying, too. Being a liar, you see – it’s painful.

E: Heh. Then just–

K: So I’ve tried to change! I’ve tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others!

E: …

K: I’ve confided in others. I’ve tried to be myself! I’ve tried to just be the way I was born!

E: …Hey, Kazui–

K: It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…!

E: Kazui…

K: I can’t live unless I lie. That’s how I was born… I’m pathetic, aren’t I?

E: (sighs) I really can’t seem to understand you.

K: …

E: Just when I thought you weren’t letting out any of your true feelings and cleverly hiding your actual emotions… Now here you are, drowning in self-loathing like this.

K: (weak laugh) An old man in unstable condition… that’s not something you’d wanna see, is it. Sorry about that.

E: You know, about Kant…

K: Ah, the one who said you shouldn’t lie even if your friend might get killed.

E: From his point of view, if your friend dies because you didn’t lie, there’s no causal connection between the two… or so I’ve heard.

K: I don’t think so, though…

E: Even if you don’t lie, your friend might survive. And if you do lie, your friend might end up dying on a different occasion. That’s the reason why you’re supposed to always tell the truth.

K: …That’s convincing.

E: It’s not really.

K: Yeah, it’s not.

E: It may not be, but… I thought that for someone who has failed in their attempts to be honest, it might be a [saving] grace so they won’t end up doubting honesty in its entirety.

K: …

E: I still don’t know what happened, but… isn’t it okay to be proud that you made an effort to be honest in the first place?

K: … You’re so kind all of a sudden.

E: I just said what I was thinking. And besides – I forgave you. I made it as if your sin wasn’t a sin at all. And yet, you don’t seem the slightest bit relieved.

K: I know right.

E: Everyone else seems more or less liberated by the fact that they were forgiven.

K: That’s right.

E: Just from that… I understand that having your feelings approved of by someone else can have a major impact on the development of one’s personality.

K: …

E: However… You have not forgiven yourself. That’s why you can’t change.

K: …

E: Alternatively, even if your lying self was forgiven… it would still do nothing to help you.

K: …Aah, you really are impressive. You think so much.

E: I am watching over ten troublesome prisoners, after all. Even if I don’t want to, I’m being relied on.

K: I haven’t forgiven myself… even if my lies are forgiven, it won’t resonate [with me]. It might just be both of these. All the lies I’ve told are tying me down. Ever since I was little, I’ve never truly opened myself to anyone. But in the end, people can’t be saved if they don’t [open up]. And by now, it’s gotten to a point where I can’t do it by myself anymore…

(machinery whirrs, bell rings)

K: I did think Milgram would be able to force its way past that, though.

E: Is that an attempt at provocation?

K: You didn’t manage to reach my sin.

E: …

K: Even though I want you to… Milgram isn’t so great after all, is it?

E: …Heh. Don’t push yourself too hard, after all that whining from earlier.

K: Ha. [This is] the wish of a liar who’s reached a dead end – come and figure out my lies, Milgram. And, Es… please, free me from these lies.

E: Yeah. Leave it to me. – Prisoner no.7, Kazui. Sing your sins.

[syntheticavenger]

night shift

It's almost fall and it's been a while since I did a one shot so here we are. I haven't written a monster fic in a while so where we are.

If you like it, please comment/reblog if you can.

Robert Pronge x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.4K

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, light stalking, mentions of murder, mentions of stalking, language, non-con (right at the end), chasing.

Summary | Taking the late shifts at work means trying to ignore the one co-worker that seems to always get a little too close for your liking.

Working night shifts at the motel on the side of the road just out on the outskirts of town isn’t exactly your idea of climbing the corporate ladder. 

It’s the only job that works with your schedule at the community college, your workload increased to try to graduate quicker. If you had been born into better circumstances, you wouldn’t have had your education take a backseat to take care of your ailing parents who didn’t have the money to shore up a retirement fund, let alone money for your education. 

For now, working at this run-down motel with the flickering lights and all hours of the night customers who give you a leer and ask for the hourly rates are what you’re deigned yourself to deal with.

A means to an end.

The slap of a wet mop on the stained linoleum gets your attention, looking up from your ledger at the janitor. 

You’ve specifically asked to not be scheduled when he is, a request you had thought was reasonable, watching the smoke billow from his mouth after he plucks the cigarette from his lips, the mop leaning on his weirdly muscular frame, brown hair hanging down, touching his shoulders, his blue eyes narrowing on you through clear framed glasses. His name always slips your mind, never getting close enough to read his name tag that is on his uniform.

He makes you uncomfortable, both in ways you’ve explained to your manager and ways you haven’t been able to describe. 

Like now, how he fits the cigarette to the side of his mouth, mopping the floor but still managing to encroach on your space. The ways you’ve been able to describe your awkward encounters are the way he likes to scare you, mopping down dark hallways to then shout your name and laugh, the way you’ve seen him slip into hotel rooms with some of the newer front desk clerks.

They never last long once he’s been with them. 

Your manager has told you that they’ve quit, sometimes over the phone or just abandoned the job. When you’ve pointed out the disappearance of one of them that made the local news, your manager made it a point to remind you that most of these girls want a quick job, not looking for any stability and that their first paycheck would mean they would split, just like she did.

He didn’t entertain the complaint you had raised when you’d seen her run out of the hotel room, grabbing her things and running to her car. By the time you’d run outside to try to ask if she needed help, she was gone.

By the time you were able to open the motel room door, the janitor was nowhere to be found, the room in shambles.

“Nothing to worry about,” your manager had said quickly. “I’ll talk to him. Probably a lover’s quarrel. I’ve told him about fraternization.”

It didn’t take long for you to realize your manager was afraid of him.

Raised voices that came from his office when he had followed up made you nervous, the janitor’s voice loud as he threatened him before storming out.

You couldn’t look at your boss the same way since then, seeing him come out as he reprimanded you, telling you that he wasn’t going to entertain anymore made-up stories. You should have been done that day, but he knew as well as you did that you needed the money, even offering you an additional two dollars per hour for your ‘trouble’.

Hush money had worked. 

That’s why you’re still here, still working these late-night shifts.

The mop swishes back and forth, the man inching closer to the desk, biting back a cough from the smoke. ‘Home’ by Henry Hall plays on the tinny speakers in the corners, moving your ledger away from him when he turns around, looking at you again.

“Awfully skittish tonight,” he observes, the name Robert embroidered on his dark blue coveralls, his face grimacing at the music. “This your playlist?”

“No.”

You want to be polite, aware of how your tone comes off. You’ve never begged for customers to come but you are now, his forearms resting on the counter. He smiles at you, revealing yellowed teeth and almost too sharp canines that makes you reel back for a second as you blink.

“What?” he asks, grabbing the mop again. “Like I said, real skittish. We’ve worked together now, what? Almost a year. You think you’d be used to me, kitten.”

The mop drops unceremoniously in the water in the bucket, slapping wetly again on the ground, Robert humming the tune to himself as he heads behind the counter. You grit your teeth at the unwanted pet name, trying to stand up straight.

“I can get out of your way,” you offer, taking a step to the other side when he tsks at the motion.

“Stay right there. I like what I see.”

Closing the ledger, you try to make sure your voice sounds authoritative as possible, glaring at him. You want to be shocked at his words, but you know he’s probably said much worse.

“You can’t say things like that, you know.”

“Oh, did I offend your poor little sensibilities?” Robert scoffs, blowing out a rapid line of smoke from the side of his mouth as the song changes to Al Bowlly’s ‘Midnight, the Stars and You”. “Your playlist isn’t half bad, toots. Let’s dance.”

Before you have a chance to deny him, the mop clatters into a little corner or space and you’re pulled into his arms.

He’s strong.

Too strong.

“I don’t want to dance,” you protest angrily, trying to push away from him. He smells earthy, like wet dog. Wrinkling your nose, you look away from him, trying to keep your composure. His arms are anchored around you, so tight that you can barely move, and you can tell he’s waiting for you to look at him. “Let me go!”

“You need to calm down,” he says with a laugh when you finally look up at him, still feebly attempting to push him off.

“I said let me go!”

“We’re dancing,” he says in a low tone, almost like a growl that instantly quiets you, your heart racing at the near animalistic tenor. “You follow my lead.”

Not that you have a choice, your heels dragging against the slippery ground. Any chance you get, you try to look out the window for any sign of someone to come.

White lights brighten the dark space, a car parking as Robert lets you go, shaking as he picks up his mop.

It’s a cop car.

Breathing out a sigh of relief, you see them head inside, the bells jingling as Robert disappears down the hall, whistling to himself over the sound of the bucket rollers.

“Evening,” one of the officers says, looking at your face. “Something wrong?”

“Hey,” the other officer says quietly. “It’s alright. Did something happen?”

It will sound ridiculous if you say it.

The creepy janitor made me dance with him? 

“Long night,” you murmur, seeing them look around before the first one clears his throat.

“Listen, we’re, uh, looking for a room.”

He stares at his partner and then back at you, sliding you a wad of folded twenties.

“I’d ask for your silence on this,” he hints. “We’ll be out of here soon.”

Grabbing the keys off the wall is easy, your spiel down to a science as you shudder at the thought of being alone with Robert again. This job isn’t worth it.

Especially since he has no concept of giving you anymore personal space.

“Room 9,” you answer. “I can show you to it.”

“We’ll be fine,” the other office replies. “Wouldn’t want to cause suspicion.”

“O-Okay,” you answer, sliding the key over as he produces more money on the counter.

“Thanks,” they say in unison.

When the door closes, you exhale, grabbing your purse as you listen for any sign of Robert.

The coast is clear, you head out the front, the door jingling as you search for your keys as you get closer to your car. Pawing through your bag, you swear you had dropped them in your purse once you had got inside, realizing too late that they are inside your small little cabinet where you usually put your things.

Inside looks quiet, still no sign of him but you know better. He’s probably lying in wait to scare you again.

Or worse.

Going back inside means doing it quickly, going around the counter to open the cabinet when you don’t see the keys, holding your breath as the jingle subsides.

“Fuck,” you mutter, checking one more time before you exhale in defeat, reaching back one more time until your fingers close in on your keyring, pulling them close to you when you hear a whistle down the hall. Standing still, you flatten yourself against the counter, hoping he won’t come closer.

The tinny music plays overhead, a loud trumpet solo that gives you a chance to move. The swish of the mop gets your attention, your steps slow, your car in sight. You don’t dare hit the key fob to unlock it, fingers pushing against the cool metal when the mop clatters to the ground loudly, the jingle louder than you recall when you rush toward the car, clicking the button to unlock your car. It responds with a dull sound, the car not responding when you hear the jingle of the door again.

“Funny thing about batteries,” Robert calls out to you, a shiver going down your spine. “They just pop right out.”

The batteries fall from his hand when you turn around, noticing that he seems taller.

Bigger.

Under the moonlight, he smiles, nodding back toward the office.

“Come on back,” he requests, looking at his watch. “By my calculation, you’ve got at least three hours left of your shift. Wouldn’t want me to snitch that you’re abandoning your job, would you?”

When he smiles, you gasp, his teeth sharper than ever that makes you take a step back in confusion.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” he continues, looking up at the moon. “You don’t want to be out here on a night like this. I don’t want to have to drag you back inside.”

“Stay away from me, you freak!” you shout, Robert’s eyes narrowing as he nods at your response. 

“Freak,” Robert growls, cracking his neck from side to side. “That’s not very nice.”

“Leave me alone or I’ll call the cops!”

“You mean the ones fuckin’ in room nine? I don’t think they’ll care. Get back inside.”

“Fuck you!”

Adrenaline makes you brave, running away from him as you hear him behind you, gravel crunching underneath his shoes as you dial 911, running down the empty highway with no cars in sight. 

You’re cursing the fact that you work in such a godforsaken shithole, hearing eerie sounds of snapping of something – possibly bone – when you realize your call isn’t going through, the spotty service dropping your call before you try again, trying to keep your wits as you hear the sounds of bones cracking behind you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you seethe, your legs burning with effort to keep your distance when your phone clatters out of your hand.

Heavy steps continue, nails on pavement that spurs you forward, forgetting about the phone and hoping to leave with your life.

The howl that cuts through the night air makes you sob, fear sending shockwaves down your body as you keep running, tears rolling down your cheeks. Hoping and waiting for someone – anyone – to come down this stretch of road feels like it will never come.

Running so fast, it takes a minute to realize you don’t hear the thing behind you, not daring to look back when you see a flash of light, a car coming down the road. Waving your arms frantically, the car slams on its brakes when you stand in front of it.

“Are you fucking crazy?!” the driver shouts, his window down as the acrid smell of weed hits your nose.

“Please, I need, I need some help,” you beg, uncaring that you may look a mess, heart thumping wildly when you finally look back, seeing nothing but more open road. “I was… I was being chased and…”

The driver, an older man with graying hair and wrinkled skin, looks head and then back at you.

“I don’t pick up tweakers,” he mutters, pulling the joint from his thin lips. “I don’t see shit outside.”

“I swear I was,” you beg, seeing him look you up and down. “I’ll get off at the closest gas station. I just need to go. Please.”

The man nods his head over to the passenger side, your fingers reaching for the handle before he opens the door for you. It feels safe to be inside, a psychedelic song playing on the radio when he accelerates, the car moving forward with a low groan.

“You’re fine,” the man blurts out, eyes on the road. “I don’t see nothing.”

You’re silent, unsure if you want to argue with your reluctant rescuer. You know exactly what your eyes saw, how your heart had pounded in your chest at the idea that a man had turned into something.

“It’s late,” he continues, exhaling heavily before he coughs loudly. “You one of those prostitutes?”

“No,” you answer. “I work down the road.”

“Then why don’t I take you there instead of a gas station?”

“That’s where I was running from. I’m not going back there, I -”

“What the fuck is that thing?”

It looks like a dog in the road but much bigger, maybe a wolf size but the eyes shine eerily in light of the headlights, shaking its head as it seems to grow in size, the body growing bigger as it stands on its hind legs.

“Holy shit!” the man shouts, slamming the car in reverse as the animal runs toward the car at a breakneck speed.

It jumps on the hood of the car with a thud, it’s yellow eyed peering through the windshield. The limbs are long, the claws deep in the metal of the hood. When it growls, the sound vibrates through the car, rendering you both silent.

“What the fuck is that?” the man whispers, his voice shaking. “I’ve never seen a wolf like that before.”

He moves to lock the door, a grave mistake before the shatter of glass hits you, teeth sinking into flesh as he screams, blood splattering as you frantically reach for the door handle to open it, spilling out onto the cold pavement.

Flight as kicked in, your brain alerting you to run, your legs following suit when the once bloodcurdling screams finally stop, somewhere down the way when all you can hear is your hard breaths and your shoes hitting the ground with each step.

“You can’t run all night!” a voice yells behind you. A voice you know all too well. “You’re going to need to conserve all that energy!”

No cars for miles, no amount of looking back will bring you comfort if the man died peacefully – you know he didn’t, the blood still on your clothes.

You fall before you realize it – hit by a force so hard that you roll, your brain rolling around as you’re disoriented, pain seizing in your body as you cry out loudly. A heavy hand pulls you from your side and onto your back, looking up at Robert as he smiles, leaning down to inspect your wounds.

“Got a lot of blood on that pretty face,” he says with a sad shake of his head, his rough finger wiping the blood from your cheek, licking it from his finger. “Good thing it’s not yours.”

“HELP!” you shout, his hand going over your mouth as he crouches down over you. It’s painful, the pressure that seems otherworldly on your mouth, pressing your head so hard into the ground that tears come to your eyes.

He inhales loudly, peering down at you from his glasses that are shattered in one lens. He chucks them off to the side, leaning down to inspect you.

“Could have done this properly,” he mutters. “Didn’t your mama ever tell you it’s not nice to call people names? What was that name you called me?”

His fingers seem to stretch over your mouth and down your cheek, the crack of bone making you shiver.

“Freak,” he growls, his eyes turning yellow. “All those girls, bored and wanting a quick fuck. You know why room ten isn’t ever available?”

He laughs, his teeth sharp as you whimper in fear.

“That’s where I’ve kept their bones,” he whispers against your ear, his voice low, nearly unrecognizable. “Now, the way I see it. You can come with me or you can run. I assure you that you won’t like the latter. I’m gonna let you up and you get to make a choice. Understand?”

You can’t nod, simply blinking before his lifts his hand. Adrenaline helps you sit up, your body aching from the fall.

“I just wanna go home, please. Robert, please let me go,” you plea, his head shaking as you spy his broken glasses. “Please don’t kill me.”

“Now, why would I do that? I like the chase,” he explains, circling you as his limbs hang at his sides. “I’m a loner out here. Don’t mind it much but then you came in at the perfect time, wrapped up in your little class struggle and I thought, well, this one will do.”

“Do what?”

He laughs, nearly a deep purr when you search for a way out.

“You’re gonna be my mate.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” you sob, hot tears sliding down your cheeks. “I promise. I’ll leave town.”

“That’s the plan, baby girl,” Robert agrees. “But you’ll be going with me.”

 “No!” you hiss, grabbing a fistful of dirt to toss in his eyes.

It’s quick, just enough for him to howl in pain before you get to your feet, running as fast as you can, dizziness from the fall making you stumble. When your name is shouted, it echoes, nearly a roar before you hear him – feel him – close, his breath on your back before you’re knocked down again.

There is no human likeness to Robert. Not anymore.

He snarls, saliva dripping from his jaws as his razor sharp teeth rip and pull at your clothes, your fingers digging into the sand to try to hold onto something to pull yourself up. It’s no use, the cool air juxtaposed with his hot breath against your bare back means he’s nearly finished ripping apart your clothes, your knees moving up so that you can stand before you’re knocked down again.

Teeth sink into the back of your neck, rendering you immobile as you scream. It’s drowned out by the loud growl, keeping you silent as your blood runs down your neck. Dust and sand coat your lips, your sobs muffled by the ground.

A rough tongue laps at your wound, the pain keeping you compliant. It doesn’t feel real, as if you’re in a dream before it stops, human hands parting your legs as the strips of ripped fabric rustle.

“Is this better?” Robert says against the shell of your ear, brushing off the sand and dirt from your cheek. “Not a fan of my other form, are you?”

Fingers slide between your thighs, circling your clit roughly when your mouth opens to protest, only to be met with a disapproving hum.

“Ovulation makes you smell so sweet and makes you so,” Robert pauses, his fingers pushing inside you. “Wet.”

You don’t want to like it, not like this, not out in the open and definitely not with his half wolf form that terrifies you. But sparks of desire, the base instinct of your body betrays you, Robert inhaling the scent of your hair as his fingers work faster.

“Nice and tight,” he growls. “Smells good.”

The moon shines over you again, past the wispy clouds in the night sky as there is another click of bone on bone, clothes ripping as the smell of wet dog intensifies. The sewn on name tag with a piece of his coveralls falls into view, his teeth nipping at the backs of your thighs before you’re nudged to your knees to present.

“Good girl,” he chuffs against your hair, his voice now inhuman. “Good mate.”  

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 17)

Aside from their new third. The night went rather similarly to how it normally would, Uzi had brought over several more movies for them to go through over the next few days. Pretty much resigning herself into cooping herself up in N's apartment while she was playing the part of Tera's live in nanny.

And currently, they were trying to choose which one to start with, N digging around the pile of disks as she laid with Tera, keeping the little one curled slightly under her arm so that there would be no more rolling away.

“N oh my robo-god just choose!” She laughed in faux irritation, not loud enough to wake the baby but definitely loud enough for N to pout back at her.

“But all of these are scary!” He pointed out, lifting up several of the boxes to reveal the graphic covers, Uzi just giggled mischievously.

“Dude we deal with way scarier stuff. Nothing compares to centipede J.” She replied, rolling her eyes at his second pout, adjusting the charge cord still sticking out of her like it would make any difference in her comfort.

“I guess…” He picked the one that had the least terrifying cover and popped it into the player, watching as the beginning credits zipped across the screen.

“What one did you pick?” She asked, head tilting to the side, small smile on her face.

“Uh… I didn't look at the title, just the cover.”

“Oooh~ Roulette.”

He didn't quite like the sound of that… were all of these the same level of terrifying? Was it like a “choose how you want to get traumatized” thing?

He settled onto the couch, holding his tail in his hands as Uzi focused entirely on the screen, well, her eyes were focused on the screen, the other hand was subconsciously petting the droneling snuggled next to her, still solidly in sleep mode.

Still being amazing at this, without even trying.

As the movie started the tension that had settled over N slowly unwound, this was… fine. A little creepy sure, but Uzi was right, it was tame in comparison to the genuine terror they'd already experienced, although the stakes being your life instead of a passive observer probably helped.

“Where… are they going? Why are they separating off from the rest of the group?” He asked as the main couple snuck off together, hand in hand, as one of the other characters was explaining that they should probably stick together, because something creepy was going on.

“To make out.” Uzi smirked, literally all these horror movies were exactly the same, teenagers were dumb… even in real life.

“Now?!” He asked incredulously, the entire group had just witnessed movement outside the house they were staying in, and they decide to leave? To kiss?

“Love is always the best decision.” She quoted him, and he felt his own words come slapping him in the face, that had felt so long ago now…

“That was an entirely different scenario, that was romantic, this- this is dumb.” He defended, watching as the couple went outside their relatively safe cabin leaving it unlocked so they could get back in. And went off into the woods in the middle of the night.

“They deserve this.” He mumbled to himself, and he half meant it, not only were they dumb, but complete assholes to the rest of their “freinds” that were totally going to get murdered.

Uzi cackled at his reaction, trying to muffled it after Tera stirred, thankfully she didn't wake up.

“Honestly yeah…” Uzi admitted watching as the camera followed the couple through the forest, the undergrowth getting deeper, darker, and way more thick around them, not that they seemed to notice.

“Immoral makeout sesh. Check.” Uzi hummed and N just shook his head.

“Seriously, what's so great about it that it's seen as this important? Rebecca and Darren did this too…” He was honestly talking more to himself then to Uzi, but once he realized he was referencing camp. He shut his mouth instantly.

“Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring… that up.”

“It's fine.” She still had a smile on her face, and it wasn't a forced one; he knew what that looked like. It was a little pained, but it looked like she wasn't so effected by it anymore.

“Some people get turned on by danger?” She suggested, breezing right past whatever perceived mistake he'd made and barreling right into a dumb joke.

“Uzi!” He found himself blushing at her crass, even if it was such an Uzi thing to say, he hadn't expected it to come out of her mouth, she laughed a little at him.

“I mean, look at them, don't they need air?” Uzi brought his attention back to the screen, where the couple was noisely sucking face, hands going way too fast but going to places he didn't want to see.

He immediately ripped his head away from the screen. Watching drones make out was one thing (he'd went past a few couples the longer he spent in the bunker.) But watching humans had another level of uncanny valley, especially since his only real experience with them was Tessa. And her parents, but they were less pleasant to think about.

“Ew.” He found himself saying, which was surprising even for him because usually he was into romance, but right now all he felt disgusted.

“Really? You're grossed out? Damn I am rubbing off on you.” She laughed again, but blessedly fast forwarded it to when they finally stopped (which was ten whole minutes later, why was that necessary to include?!)

“It's not even that, it normally wouldn't bother me. I mean, I'm… a romantic.” He started, doing his best to phrase it in a way that didn't imply anything.

“A helpless romantic.” She corrected, shit eating grin and all, he felt his visor heat up again, yes he was, for her and her smart mouth.

“As I was saying, I've seen drones kiss before, that doesn't bother me. But I just fell like I don't wanna see… that? I dunno.”

He didn't want to see what should be private between two people? Maybe, would he feel the same way if it was him and someone else? Immediately, his processors betrayed him, serving him a hot and piping thought of Uzi up against a tree, hot breath leaving her, and him leaving a trail of kisses down her neck-

He shook his head so hard he could almost hear it rattle. That was not where his brain needed to go right now, in fact he needed to get far far away from that line of thinking pronto. He willed his furious blush away, wishing he could focus on the actual movie like Uzi was doing.

Uzi wasn't too focused on the movie either, instead she was having a private little daydream about pushing N up against a tree and kissing his cute little golden face until he was breathless. Thankfully she was stone faced, so long as she didn't look at him she wouldn't fluster, but that had taken some practice to reign in. Practice, because at this point thoughts like that were so common that she'd overheat constantly if she blushed at all of them.

Thankfully for N the rest of the movie pushed it out of his mind. Not because it suddenly became scary. Humans being chopped to bits with a meat cleaver was a lot less terrifying when you weren't human and you thought the entire cast was stupid. No, but it did become funny.

To make fun of.

The effects were laughably terrible, the killers mask was crooked the entire time, and, intentional or not, it destroyed any intimidating factor he had, since it looked more and more like a grown ass man in a bad Halloween costume.

It didn't help thar the voice acting was equally as bad, sounding sarcastic at best “Oh no don't kill meeeee.” And straight up bad at worse, some of the delivery was so off N had to rewind to even catch what they said.

“This movie is terrible.”

“This movie is laughably terrible.” She corrected him again, and he shot her a look that made her dissolve into laughter again.

He supposed she was right in that regard, they were making fun of it, and he no longer feared being scared tonight. Heck if all the movies were like this he wasn't fearful of ever being scared by them.

“Are all of them like this?” He asked, relaxing back into the couch with a sigh as he watched a teenage boy get decapitated, huh, he knew how that felt, ow.

“Only my favorite ones!” Uzi replied, laughing as one of the girls conveniently tripped over… something, her own stupidity most likely. Giving the killer time to catch up.

That didn't surprise him in the least, she was the one who wanted to go to earth and wipe out all the humans, so that tracked.

Still she kept trying to adjust, the cord seemed to be getting more and more uncomfortable the longer she laid.

“You good?” He asked as the movie began to wind down, the final girl setting a trap for the killer, to finish him off for good.

“I'm fine. Just… not used to having a baby attached to me. I can't get comfortable.” She admitted, crossing her arms awkwardly. N just smiled, and without thinking spread his arms to invite her to join him on his side of the couch.

She hesitated, before this there had always been some sort of plausible reason for them to end up in close proximity, weather it just be the size of what they were on or a traumatic event. Now though, there was no pretense. He was asking to be close because he wanted her close.

If she was looking for hints he might feel the same. This was her biggest one.

She did accept, crawling over to his lap where she could lean against his chest, she slotted perfectly there, tucked underneath his chin as she adjusted Tera again, only this time, N took her into his arms, removing the tension from her side almost entirely.

“Better?” He willed his voice to not crack like he was five, he hadn't meant for this to happen, he'd just… done it. Subconsciously. And now he was having to quell his feverishly humming core due to his own dumb actions.

“Heck yes… didn't realize how much she was pulling on me.” Her tension released immediately, and once again she found herself soothed by his ambient warmth, and his core humming underneath her. The movies credits had just begun to roll, that was fine, she'd seen it before.

“Maybe we can get you a baby bag or something, so she's not hanging off you and you don't have to carry her?” He suggested, and while on one hand that sounded *great*, and appealed directly to the “problem = solution” portion of her brain, it also made her fluster.

It would feel much more official then, that she was a parent as much as he was, it had been a feeling she'd been ignoring, starting from whenever they'd first seen Tera and growing every day since then. That this pillbaby, this… fragile thing. Was hers.

That she was a mom. And N was a dad.

And that thought made her giddy and flustered and scared. Best freinds don't typically adopt children together, even her very limited experience of friendship could tell her that.

"Uh... maybe..."

Their relationship right now was… complicated. They weren't together, neither of them had said anything or addressed it, but she did know that they were too close and their lives too intertwined to still just be calling it “freindship.”

And yet she was, and so was he. Because what else would either of them call it? She still couldn't completely prove he felt the same way! He'd been closer… more touchy. But that was kinda just N! "Boundaries" was not a word in his dictionary.

But here they were, cuddling, looking like a happy couple that had just brought their newborn home. She looked at them through the reflection of the now blank television.

N looked happy, extremely happy, eyes closed and holding both her and Tera close to his chest like they'd both slip through his fingers somehow, his tail was slowly wrapping itself around her leg, almost like it was trying to sneak up on her.

But her biggest hint? The thing that made her core flip when she realized? He was purring.

It was so soft it was almost impossible to hear. But she could feel it, the soft rhythmic vibrations that poured out of his core presumably without his knowledge. If he'd done it before she'd become… this. Then maybe it wouldn't have tipped her off so much. But now…

She had a purr too, another change made by the solver to her body to make her more like a disassembly drone, and her purr had only ever triggered when she was thinking about N, specifically how much she loved him.

While she was sure N's would be less specific in what and who triggered it, it something reserved for love. And considering she'd never heard it before, she could decern that it wasn't just something N just did.

Which meant it was her that was triggering it, or her and Tera together that was.

She felt a blush work it's way to her face as she looked up into N's visor, even though his eyes were closed, she knew he could still see her with his visor, and had probably been watching her the entire time.

So she just smiled, and curled herself into him. Hiding her face just in case she got flustered.

N liked her, and she finally had her proof.

Next ->

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

hii sweetiee idk if you still take requests but how you think ran and rindou would react if reader who usually dont cry (ran girlfriend) start crying after she saw ran with new haircut without braids (i means bonten timeline haircut) and m what would ran do to crying girlfriend.

Lmao I feel a bit bad for Ran but it probably goes something like this

Ran

He actually has no clue why you're crying at first, immediately comes over to you and asks who made you cry while trying to stay calm (he's already plotting the murder in his head). 

He's even more confused when you point at his hair while still crying. "Huh?" Then it suddenly dawns on him what you mean. 

Isn't sure whether he should be glad that no one hurt you or offended that you're crying over his lack of hair. 

Frowns for a moment before patting your back, runbing soft circles on you. "Is it really that bad?" 

Sure Ran himself was a bit unsure but the hairdresser said it would look great. He's not so sure now though after your reaction. 

Teases you a little about loving his braids too "I never knew you were such a big fan of my hair" He's trying to make you laugh or at least stop crying. 

Then once you've gotten over the initial shock he encourages you to look at it more and feel it. 

Though he's never letting you forget this initial reaction, will tease you about it for years to come. Plus he's still a little offended over it.

Rindou

Unlike Ran he realises straight away what made you start crying. He notices the look you give Ran's new hair before the tears start falling. 

If it was just the two of you he would've comforted you but Ran's here and of course your boyfriend is the one to immediately run over. So he hangs back, observing. 

Has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing when you point at Ran's hair and the look on Ran's face when he figures it out.

He's a bit shocked that you would cry over Ran's hair, he didn't realise it was that serious. But ultimately he finds the situation amusing, especially since he can tell Ran is trying to not be dramatic rn and he knows you're ok.

Says "I told you so" to Ran after Ran wonders if he made a mistake with the hair. Then gets a pillow thrown into his face. 

Excuses himself, leaving the two of you when you start touching Ran's hair and things get a bit more cosy. He's definitely telling Kakucho about this though. 

[flowershines]

Special Treats

Bf. Peeta Mellark x F. Reader

warnings: smut, tabs (sex chocolate), protected sex, nicknames, cunnilingus

Not proof read

Coming home from work, opening the front door to your shared apartment with your boyfriend, he was sitting on the couch in front of the tv watching the new season of the Hunger Games. Ever since he had been in the games with Katniss he kept trying his hardest to stop watching them and have the others follow in his footsteps but he just felt bad for the contestants this year, you had told him that they put two 8 year olds in the games this year.

Ofcource he never wanted to see those kids die so he did as much as he could to make them stay alive by sending in donations for them to keep them alive, after winning he had more of a wealthy lifestyle having you both live in the wealthiest side of the capital.

“I’m home.” Dropping all of your belongings in the chair that had been surrounding the island in the middle of the kitchen, he stood up and made his way over to you kissing your temple then complaining about how messed up the producers are “I’m surprised that they made it this far anyways, I think my donations are helping them I hope.” He said while looking down at the ground, shameful for the kids. “They are, they’re still alive aren't they.” “I don’t think for very long though, one and two have been trying to find them since they would be the easiest targets, I left them some small notes saying that they need to find shelter and hide for now.” Running his fingers through his blonde hair as he sat down into one of the chairs next to you, walking to him and giving him a small hug as a way to try and comfort him.

You always loved how caring he was, even though those kids weren't his and weren't even in his old district he felt like he had known them their whole life, kind of like an older brother figure to strangers.

“Oh I forgot Haymich gave me these chocolates for you, he said there was a note on it for you but it fell off when he gave it to me, it's just chocolates so I thought the note wasn't that important anyways.” “Yeah, you're right it’s Haymich, he probably wrote some stupid shit on it.” Handing the chocolate he took it and unwrapped it, “Want some?” shaking your head you exclaimed how you just went out to eat with Katniss for lunch. Taking a bite he hummed at the taste of it, “Good?” he shook his head up and down very fast you thought that he might get whiplash. Laughing to yourself you walked towards your bags and started to put them into your shared bedroom and started putting things away, Peeta walked back over to the couch and sat down right in front of the tv as you heard another buzz sound notifying you that he had just sent another donation to one of the kids.

As time went on he watched the tv closely as the group of trained teens walked over to where one of the kids had been hidden since the games had started.

Peeta’s POV:

Watching the kid shiver from fear made something in me feel horrible for her, a single tear ran down her face as she probably knew that it was the end for her, as they would kill her in no time. I put my hand over my mouth trying to stay quiet as if I was in the games myself, seeing her shiver and cry reminded me of my time during the games, not wanting to see the poor innocent girl get brutally murdered I walked towards the door letting Y/n know that I was going to take a walk along with asking her if she could shut off the tv not wanting to watch it anymore. I knew those kids were probably going to be the first to die but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for them, I mean who wouldn’t.

On the walk Y/n kept coming into my thoughts wondering what she probably thought of all the murder and what she thought of me being in the games as well, more questions about her wandered into my mind. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed deeply, I should probably start heading back to the apartment now heading back thoughts of Y/n couldn’t escape my mind, I probably just missed her so much today so I keep thinking of her.

Walking through the second to last hallway towards our apartment an image of Y/n popped in my head of her laying in our bed in my favorite pear of her lingerie, the red ones that never really covered much. I felt a rise of heat shoot through my stomach down to my sudden growing bulge which twitched at the thought, walking faster than before not wanting any of our neighbors to catch me with a growing hard on in my pants.

The more I would think of that image of her the more tighter my pants would go up against my dick making the sensation of the fabric rubbing against it even more hard to concentrate on any other random thought that might run through my head. Arriving at the apartment she was in our shared bedroom but instead of wearing the lingerie she was wearing the same clothes since the last time I saw her in.

She was on her knees putting things away in the bottom drawer of the dresser, I walked in front of her hoping she would see my aching problem and help out. She noticed that I was standing above her, she looked up at me with the most innocent eyes that stared into mine as she smiled softly. “When did you get back?” She said as he attention went back to what she was doing before, “Not that long ago.” I grabbed her by her jaw with one hand and made her look up at me, “I need you, now.” her eyes trailed from my eyes all the way down to my pants. My dick was right in front of her face making it perfect eye level with the tip as it leaked pre cum through my boxers and pants.

“All of the sudden?” She giggled still looking at my bulge then up at me, “Please Y/n, I was thinking then you came into my mind then an image popped up of you in my favorite lingerie on you.” I let go of her jaw and looked down at her with pleading eyes, “Your always horny.” She said standing up and walking towards the kitchen to get the last of her bags, I stood there defeated knowing that I would probably have to resort to my hand again. “Peeta?” She said from the kitchen, I walked into the room that she was in and stood in the doorway with an arched eyebrow and head tilted in the slightest way possible. She looked at me holding the box of the chocolate, “Do you not know what this is?!” “Chocolate.”

She rolled her eyes, “No shit, Tabs?” Looked her in the eyes and shook my head as a way to tell her I was not following, “It’s a chocolate made to turn you on, I should have read the box before giving it to you but I thought you knew.” She dropped the box on the island and rubbed her forehead, “So what am I supposed to do.” I rubbed my hand along the tip of my dick as she looked at it. She took one of the chocolates that showed three water droplets and ate it, “I’ll help you out, we just have to give it a minute for me to digest it.”

My eyes lit up with excitement, she walked over to the couch and placed a movie on and started watching it. I walked over to her and sat down next to her, I kept shifting and squirming in my seat as her attention was focused on the show in front of her. “Can I please eat you out?” I asked looking her up and down, she nodded and laid back against the arm of the couch using it as a pillow, I pulled her pants down which to my luck she wasn’t wearing any underwear giving me even more easy access. She whined at how slow I was going, I got closer to her heat and licked my lips as they hit her folds. I loved eating her out she always tasted so good and she would play with my hair all roughly making me moan into her pussy.

She would whine and breath all shaky which was my favorite noises that she makes, I couldn’t help but feel aroused as my tongue was deep into her. I uncontrollably got harder and started grinding down onto the couch for some sort of friction that my aching bulge was missing, as her moans and breathing became more sporadic she would grip onto my hair more tighter as my groans were muffled by her pussy, she loved the vibrations that it would give her and brought her over the edge making her cum on my tongue.

She sat up and pushed me down onto the couch and sat on top of my lap and started to unbuckle my belt I grabbed her shirt and started to unbutton it. The sound of my zipper being undone made me shift my hips up so that way she would be able to move my pants down to my knees. I finished buttoning her shirt and pulled it off each arm and brought one arm behind to her back and undid her bra. “Your a pro.” She said talking about being able to undo her bra with one hand, “You helped me become one.” I said smirking and dived into her neck and started to make my way down to her boobs, she moaned as my hands traveled from her waist down to her heat starting to do small circles on her clit.

She fell into my chest and started kissing my jawline then working down to my neck, she kept whispering sweet nothings into my ears. Pulling my hand away I reached towards the side table next to us and pulled out the drawer, taking out a condom and handing it to her and I shut the drawer and kissed her check. She ripped the packaging with her teeth off and took it out sliding it down on my dick, i softly groaned into her neck from the sudden sensation of her hand on me.

She grabbed my dick and placed it right at her entrance slowly sinking down on me as my hands rested on her waist, throwing my head back from the sudden sensation as I could feel her clench from every angle, her pussy ran along on the veins on my cock, she was made for me.

Grabbing at her waist tighter she started bouncing up and down on me, I kissed her on the lips as she continued bouncing on me. She grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me closer, our tongues danced on one another fighting for dominance. Her free hand ran up and down across my abs then bringing her hand down to my balls to play with them giving me the best pleasure.

Moans and groans filled the rooms our neighbors banged on the wall telling us that they can hear us, I placed a hand over her mouth to muffle her moans but she started to reach her peak and get closer and closer to her climax, realizing this I reached my hand down to her clit and started to rub it in circles while thrusting my hips up to meet her motions. Moans got louder and louder both of our climaxes at their peak, “P-peeta I-I’m gonna-” “Me two, princess.”

With that she started to fall apart on my dick as my cum shot into the condom filling it up, she slowed down her pace till she stopped moving and just cuddled against my chest. She went and grabbed my dick pulling it out of her making me whine from her hand touching my overstimulated cock, then proceeding to take the condom off and bring it to the kitchen and throw it away. She went into the bedroom not soon after came back in her comfy pjs sand had brought me out some as well, she handed them to me and picked up our clothes that had been thrown off earlier.

She walked back over to the couch and cuddled into my side I kissed her temple and said “Thank you princess, I love you.” “I love you too baby”

[steddieas-shegoes]

Nother idea: 8 years later, Tommy & Carol apologizing to Steve for their behavior. & for immediately abandoning him when they knew he needed them most.

But Steve has people now who have shown him love, family, true friendship. And while he forgives them its not the same. He doesn't trust them. He is thriving without them.

But Carol realizes that the reason it isn't the same is bc Steve genuinely believes that they don't mean their apology. So she & Tommy actually discuss it and find a way to clear up any misunderstanding & ensure he knows they mean their apology. It works, it takes time & effort but they are once again his friends.

MY LOVE!!! STEVE REALIZING HE'S LOVED AND DOESN'T NEED HIS SHITTY EX FRIENDS CREW STAND UP!!!! I had the opportunity to really give Steve his shining moment and yell at them, but I decided that Steve would just be kind of over it, like they aren't really worth yelling at. Steve didn't do all this personal growth just to let them back in so easily, but luckily he isn't the only one who changed. You know I had to involve Eddie, of course! - Mickala ❤️

-----------------------------------------------

It was too fucking early on a Saturday morning to be woken up by the buzzer of his apartment.

Whoever it was was lucky that Eddie had to go into work today or he would be committing murder at their door.

He glanced at the clock on the microwave, 10:47, okay, so not that early.

They’d had a late night, okay?

If he had a limp to show what they were up to, that was his business.

“You can leave the package in the box, I’ll grab it soon!” Steve said into the mic, hoping it was just a delivery.

“Steve? Is that you?”

He recognized the voice, though he wished he didn’t.

Eight years was a long time to go without talking to someone who used to be your best friend, but when you’d been best friends for so long, certain things couldn’t be forgotten.

“Tommy?”

“Uh yeah, man. I’m here with Carol. We actually were hoping to talk to you?”

He looked down at his almost naked body, only Eddie’s boxers covering him.

“Sure.”

He buzzed them in, not giving them any clue where he was so they would take their time getting to his door. He had to throw on clothes, brush his hair, and try to look like he hadn’t just been asleep.

He rushed to the bedroom, throwing on the first pair of jeans he saw and a t-shirt from the floor. He heard voices down the hall as he was heading to the bathroom, his hands shaking with nerves as he tried to rush to brush through his hair.

“It can’t be that Munson, though, right? Even Steve wasn’t a fan of him in school.”

Steve grimaced at Carol’s voice.

Technically, Eddie worked a half shift when he had to work Saturdays, which meant unless they were only stopping by for a few minutes, he would probably be home while they were still here.

Tommy had always hated Eddie. No one could really figure out why. Sure, a lot of people said nasty things about and to Eddie in high school, but no one else really put their hands on him the way Tommy did.

Eddie joked it must have been because he liked him, but Steve thought maybe he just had a lot of displaced anger.

At least that’s what he thought when he became a counselor and understood a lot of psychology behind why people did things.

Eddie laughed and said, “don’t overthink it, some people are just bullies.”

But Steve liked to think maybe Tommy was more complicated than that, liked to explain away his worst qualities so it made it easier to accept that he was once best friends with him.

Eddie laughed about that too, and said, “kids are stupid, and sometimes we find friends in people who make us feel better about ourselves, but you grew up.”

Steve shook his head, not wanting to think more about it.

He opened the front door, the ghosts of his past standing there, hardly aged, hardly any different at all.

“Come in, guys. Um. Sorry, I wasn’t really expecting anyone.”

They all awkwardly laughed as Tommy and Carol made their way inside.

The apartment was small, cheap rent kept them there so they could save up to buy a house outside of town in the next few years, maybe work on starting a family if they could.

They’d talked about it over the last couple of years, once Steve was settled in his job at the school, once Eddie got promoted to general manager at the shop, they’d save for a few years, have a decent down payment, start looking for a house with three or four bedrooms. Start looking into adopting. Maybe get a cat.

But to do that, their apartment was cozy, as Eddie liked to say. One bedroom, one bathroom, kitchen and living room area all one room, a tiny storage closet. They didn’t even have their own washer and dryer, which reminded Steve that he had to take their laundry downstairs and get it started soon.

Tommy and Carol looked around, but hid any emotion on their faces.

He gestured for them to have a seat on the couch, which was a hand-me-down from Wayne when they moved in. It was “too much” for his space when Eddie moved out.

They sat, though they didn’t look very comfortable.

Steve sat in the rocking chair Eddie bought, the first thing he bought for their “eventual home”, but didn’t rock as he took them in.

He originally didn’t see any proof of them aging, but now that he was looking closer, he could see Tommy’s already-receding hairline, Carol’s wrinkled by her eyes, both of them just a little softer in the face and stomach.

They looked incredibly human like this, like they weren’t some high school king and queen who only cared about how they look and what parties they could go to every weekend.

It helped Steve relax a bit.

“Not to be rude, but uh, how did you guys find me?” Steve asked, not sure he even really cared.

“We moved here to Chicago about six months ago, Tommy’s gonna run his dad’s office here starting next year, so he wanted to ease into it. I started job searching a few weeks ago for a teaching position and I noticed you worked at the school I interviewed at. We looked you up and decided we wanted to come talk,” Carol always was a bit of a rambler, always annoyed Steve when she started in on something that really didn’t matter much.

Carol nudged Tommy, who had been staring wide-eyed at Steve since he sat down.

He cleared his throat and nodded.

“We actually came here to make things right. We were best friends for years, and then one bad thing happened and we weren’t anymore. I know I fucked up with everything. We shouldn’t have treated Nancy like that, or you like that, and we’re hoping you could maybe accept our apology.”

Steve stared at them.

“We were kids. We did stupid shit. We’ve all grown. I mean, look at you! Your own apartment in the big city!”

As if he had been waiting for a cue, Eddie walked in the front door, his oil-covered coveralls already coming off. Steve made the rule after he came home one day to see oil stains on the bed sheets where Eddie had fallen asleep after working from open to close: coveralls come off as soon as he’s in the door and they go straight to the laundry room.

“Jesus, sweetheart, this is the last Saturday I cover in the shop. At least until I hire some competent mechanics. I think I did most of the work all morning. And after doing most of the work last night, I-”

“Eds! We have company!” Steve rushed out, his face bright red at what Eddie was implying.

It’s not that he really cared about what Tommy and Carol thought; Once they realized Eddie lived here, it wouldn’t be difficult to come to the conclusion that they shared a one bedroom apartment because they were together. He didn’t even care if Tommy and Carol were disgusted by him for it.

But he’d be damned if Eddie felt uncomfortable in his own home, especially if they started saying shit to him reminiscent of their high school days.

He watched Eddie turn around, recognize the people on the couch, and turn to Steve with a questioning look.

“Tommy, Carol, you remember Eddie,” Steve said, not breaking eye contact with Eddie.

They were having an entire conversation with their eyes, Steve begging Eddie to just go get cleaned up, Eddie begging Steve to explain what was going on.

Tommy’s eyes narrowed as he looked between them, Carol’s eyes stayed pointed at Eddie.

“Munson?”

“The one and only!” Eddie said, his voice pitching just a bit higher, naturally going to his over the top self to protect himself from whatever they would say.

Steve loved every version of Eddie: the performer on stage, the performer with friends, the soft version of himself that only Steve got to see, the protective version that would fight the world to make sure his loved ones were safe.

He was lucky to have every part of Eddie, even the parts that may not always be the best.

But his least favorite thing was seeing Eddie go into this mode, the one that kept him safe during school, when kids were mean, adults were mean, life was hard.

He didn’t want that for Eddie anymore.

“You guys…live together?” Tommy asked, looking back to Steve for confirmation.

Steve rolled his eyes. Tommy apparently didn’t gain any intelligence over the years.

“Yes. We’re together.”

From the look on Eddie’s face, he hadn’t expected Steve to say that.

That was fair; it took Steve nearly a year just to come out to anyone who wasn’t Robin, scared that somehow everyone would hate him, hate Eddie, hate them together.

But it went perfectly, and Steve rode the high a bit too much. He came out to his parents a few months after, and that went quite a lot less than perfectly.

He was lucky he didn’t have more head trauma from it, actually.

So he kept it quiet, didn’t come out to any new friends he met in college, even after one of them came out to him. Didn’t come out to coworkers while he worked at a cafe throughout college to pay the bills. Didn’t even come out to the bartender at their favorite bar despite the rainbow flag that was hidden behind the bar in silent support.

It was only recently that he started to feel comfortable being more open, and only in the city, only select areas where he knew they wouldn’t end up hurt.

Eddie was patient, maybe more than he deserved.

So saying it outright to the two people who suspected and bullied Eddie for being gay in high school, despite it not even being confirmed then, clearly threw Eddie for a loop.

“Oh, like…”

“Yes, exactly like that.”

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for any response that would give him permission to kick them out of his apartment, their apartment.

But he saw Carol nudge Tommy again, pasting a smile on her face. It wasn’t completely natural, but it also didn’t seem fake.

“That’s nice, Steve. Have you been together a while?”

“Since ‘86.”

“Wow! Since the quakes!”

Steve nodded.

“Steve, can you help me with something in the kitchen for a second?” Eddie asked, his voice unreadable.

Steve hated it, hated that all of a sudden he couldn’t get a grasp of what Eddie was feeling.

It had been so long since he’d experienced this.

And a small part of him blamed Tommy and Carol.

He got up, wordlessly following Eddie into the kitchen area that wasn’t even separated from the living room.

“Not that I don’t love that you’re comfortable telling them, but um. What’s. What’s happening currently?” Eddie whispered as he tried to appear busy, grabbing a glass from the cabinet to fill with water.

“They came to apologize to me. For high school.”

When he said it out loud, it sounded a bit ridiculous.

“And are you accepting it?”

“I don’t think so. I think they’re only doing it to help themselves feel better. I’m not interested in whatever game they’re playing.”

Eddie looked over Steve’s shoulder at the pair sitting on the couch.

“Need me to get rid of them? Just say so, sweetheart. I’ll kick them both to the curb.”

Steve leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips, smiling as he pulled away.

“I got it, baby. Get cleaned up so I can hug you.”

“Just hug?”

Steve laughed as he walked back towards his spot.

“Or more!”

He focused back on Tommy and Carol, who were graciously pretending that they didn’t hear the conversation that happened less than 20 feet from them.

“So, we were wondering if you wanted to meet up for dinner, catch up? You could bring Eddie, of course!”

Of course, she said. Like they didn’t outwardly despise Eddie eight years ago. Like they were perfectly fine with him now, and fine with Steve, and fine with them.

“I think we’ll pass. Good luck to you guys in Chicago, though.”

He ignored the pang of guilt when he saw Carol’s face fall and Tommy’s eyes darted to where Eddie was closing the bedroom door and back to Steve.

“Oh. Um. Well, it would be our treat, if you’re worried about money.”

“I wasn’t.”

Tommy and Carol hadn’t expected to be shut down like this, but Steve knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t accept their apologies, and he wouldn’t expect Eddie to suddenly be friendly to people who tormented him for years.

“Okay. Well. I guess we’ll go, then.”

“Thanks for stopping by.”

He stood as they stood, walked them out the door, then closed and locked it behind them.

Steve made it to the bedroom before he felt the tears spring to his eyes.

Eddie was in the bathroom showering, so he hoped he could get it out quickly. He didn’t want Eddie to worry.

But unfortunately, once a few tears fell, it seemed like they wouldn’t stop.

He got back in bed, burying his face in the pillow so he could hopefully pretend to be asleep, but didn’t quite manage it before Eddie was walking back into the room.

He got in bed and silently pulled Steve against his chest, running his hands up and down his back to soothe him, not trying to use any comforting words.

“I don’t know why I’m upset about a stupid fake apology from people I don’t care about.”

“Stevie, it’s okay to be upset. They were your friends for a long time, and you still have a lot of hurt leftover from them.”

“I just wish things had been different then.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

Eddie kissed the top of his head, and as they lay there together, Steve realized this hurt would never quite go away.

—------------------

“T, I don’t think he believed us,” Carol said from the passenger seat.

“I can’t believe Steve’s with Eddie. Of all the people,” Tommy replied, not even acknowledging Carol’s words.

“They seem good together.”

“I guess.”

Carol knew Tommy had a crush on Steve in high school, they’d talked about it years ago when she found an old picture of Steve with a heart drawn on the back while they were moving the first time around.

She’d been caught off guard, but understood, and was fine with it when he explained it was definitely in the past.

And it was.

But a part of him was wondering how long Steve had realized he liked guys, and what might have happened if he’d just been brave enough to do something about his feelings before things went to shit.

He loved Carol, was happy to be married to her, and wouldn’t want Steve now, but still. The what-ifs plagued his mind on the drive back to their home.

“Are you jealous of Eddie?”

Carol sounded hesitant to ask, like she wasn’t sure which answer she would prefer because she knew either way, Tommy would be upset she asked at all.

“No. I’m not jealous. Steve and I would never have worked out.”

Which may not have been a great answer for his wife, but it was the truth, and they were always honest with each other if nothing else.

“Since I got the job at the school, maybe I’ll have more chances to convince him we meant it.”

Carol was good. Deep down she had always been good. But Tommy always managed to drag her down when they were young, convinced her she needed to be a mean girl to fit in with their group, kept it up through most of college before they finally realized life was better if you just weren’t awful to people.

“Yeah, maybe.”

—---------------------

So, a month later, when school started up, Carol began the task of showing Steve that they were truly sorry.

She would often leave notes in his mailbox in the office, usually just a “have a great day!” with a smiley face, or “let me know if you want to catch up over lunch!”

He never responded, but she knew he got them.

Tommy had issues with his car and took it to the shop Eddie worked at, nodding along to what he said and admitted he didn’t really know much about cars so he trusted Eddie to fix it.

It was entirely professional, but a small part of Tommy was satisfied when Eddie gave him a genuine smile.

—--------------------------

“Is it weird that they keep trying?” Steve asked one night while they were lying in bed.

“I don’t think it’s weird. I think maybe they just mean it.”

Steve pondered it.

Yeah, they must mean it. The old Tommy and Carol would have given up after he sent them out of their apartment the first time.

“Would you wanna go to dinner with them? Just give them a chance? It’s okay if you don’t want to. You don’t have to forgive them.”

Eddie leaned in to kiss Steve’s slowly, softly.

“If you want to, then I want to support you. We’re all different now. Maybe we can look at who they are now instead of who they were, as long as they can look at who we are and respect us.”

“Yeah.” Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek. “Yeah.”

—-------------------

Steve left a note for Carol the following Monday: “Dinner at ours? Friday at 7. Bring a red wine and beer.”

She wrote back that same day with a bunch of smiley faces and a response that they would be there.

When Friday came, Steve was nervous.

He’d planned to leave work right when school got out instead of leaving at five so he could make sure everything was clean and the food would be ready on time.

Eddie promised to be home by six in case he needed help.

And when six arrived, Eddie walked through the door with flowers and a smile, and Steve relaxed.

Nothing would go wrong.

Even if something did, they would be in it together, and they would support each other.

They didn’t have to do this alone like they did all those years ago.

—-------------------

It became a thing: dinner every Friday evening, sometimes at Steve and Eddie’s, sometimes at Tommy and Carol’s, sometimes at a new restaurant in the city.

The first few dinners were stilted, full of apologies and awkward catch-ups.

Then it got easier.

They got closer.

Eddie and Tommy actually became closer than Steve and Tommy ever were. Eddie showed him how to change his own oil so he could “stop bothering him at work just so he could look at his sexy coveralls.” Tommy rolled his eyes, but was grateful to learn.

Carol and Steve would often bake dessert together, catching up on school gossip, the latest who was dating who always entertaining them just as it did when they were in high school.

There were still the occasional moments where Steve thought about how much they hurt him, and Eddie thought about how they might be teasing him behind his back.

But it was rare, and they usually talked themselves out of it.

They were the first people to find out when Carol was pregnant, and the first people to learn it was twins. Carol and Tommy were the first (okay, first after Robin) people to find out when their offer on a house was accepted.

Tommy ended up cutting ties with his father when he found out that Steve and Eddie were together and threatened to cut him off. Tommy had a degree, and now had years of experience under his belt, and wasn’t worried about finding another job, one where he knew he earned his position because of his work and not being the boss’ son.

And when Steve and Eddie were able to finally adopt a little girl in 2002, Tommy and Carol were at the courthouse taking pictures of the new family, their own kids already best friends with her.

[lihhelsing]

Final Part - Catfish Steddie

You can also read it on Ao3!

When Steve walks into his apartment after a long shift at the coffee shop, it takes him almost a full five minutes to notice there’s someone else in there with him. 

He’s been so tired lately he probably wouldn’t have noticed if the person, a petite strawberry blonde, hadn’t cleared her throat while looking at him. 

“Uh. Hello?” 

Had he walked into the wrong apartment? He couldn’t remember using his key but he’s pretty sure he did. 

“Hi,” the girl smiles as she places a Vogue Magazine on the coffee table. Steve looks around and he knows this coffee table. He knows this apartament. He’s definitely in the right place. 

Still doesn’t explain the girl. 

“Who are you?” 

She laughs as if he’s being funny but once she understands he’s serious, her smile falters a little. 

“Chrissy. I’m Robin’s -“

“Girlfriend. Yeah. She’s not here.” 

Chrissy nods. “I know. I’m here for you.” 

Either she’s going to murder him or try to convince him to forgive Robin and Steve’s not sure which one is worse right now. 

“Then you wasted your time. You can go now. Or stay, I don’t care.” 

Chrissy clicks her tongue. “Robin did a shitty thing.” 

“Yeah. You don’t say.” 

“She’s not a bad person, though.” 

Steve shrugs. “It doesn’t matter, does it? She still hurt people.” 

She hurt me is what Steve means. He doesn’t say it out loud but he has the feeling Chrissy sees right through him. 

“I was so mad when she told me. It was such a fucked up thing to do.” 

Steve nods, doesn’t see the point in expanding this conversation. 

“Look,” Chrissy says eventually. “She’s not a bad person, she just… sometimes she gets obsessed with things and she doesn’t know when it’s too much. This was too much. It was crazy and hurtful. I thought about… breaking up. But I know her and I know this was just a mistake.” 

Steve doesn’t know why Chrissy is saying all those things to him. He shrugs. Maybe if he doesn’t engage she will leave him alone. 

“I know it’s not good enough. But she’s really sorry.”

“Yeah.”

“She would love a chance to try and fix things.” 

Steve shakes his head. “No thanks. I asked her to leave me alone.” 

"Robin's not the best at boundaries if you haven't noticed," Chrissy says and it honestly annoys the hell out of Steve. He's pretty aware of his roommate's problems. He had been looking for another place to live ever since his talk with Robin but it seems luck isn't on his side, at least not with the budget he has right now. 

"Oh, I noticed it alright," Steve replies dryly but that also doesn't seem to faze Chrissy. "Like I said, the best she can do right now is leave me alone and not send her girlfriend to, what? Guilt trip me into forgiving her? Not happening."

Chrissy seems a little ashamed at that, but Steve doesn't care. He doesn't! The people pleaser inside of him is definitely not cringing at himself right now. 

"Listen. She did send me here, but all she wants is another chance at fixing things. She knows she fucked up bad but like I said, Robin's not a bad person. She was pretty nervous when you two first talked about this and she thinks she can explain herself better. I know it sounds like bullshit but I told her I would try to convince you to go talk to her and if you said no, we both would respect your decision."

Steve is about to say no. He wants to say no. He wants Robin to suffer for messing with his life and Eddie's and for fucking up something that could've been so good. But Eddie's not really answering his calls right now, Steve is about to flunk one of his classes because he's been so stressed about the whole thing. He's been stressing about getting a new place too, and finding a roommate that's not a total psycho and also someone who won't potentially try to sell his organs on the internet. He definitely needs a place that he can afford and for a second he considers it. 

And then, he has an idea. 

"Ok, I'll go."

Chrissy's whole face lightens up. She must really care about Robin to react like that just by Steve agreeing to go talk to her. He's not going to forgive her, just hear her out one more time because honestly? It can't get worse than it already is. 

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I have one condition."

"Of course, anything," Chrissy says, nodding enthusiastically. 

"I'll go and I'll hear her out. If she's just bullshitting me again, I get the apartment."

Chrissy frowns at him. "The apartment?"

"Yeah. I don't intend on keeping living with her but it's hard to find a place half decent that I can afford. And I can afford this and it's a pretty good place. So she'll keep paying her half until I find someone new to share. Then she'll be gone from my life."

Steve crosses his arms. Either way, he's going to win. He's going to get what he wants, no matter what, even if that's still not Eddie. Steve's been making peace with the fact that he's not going to get Eddie, after all. 

Chrissy nods even though she doesn't seem sure. 

"Shouldn't you check with Robin about this? I can wait."

She bites her lower lip but shakes her head. "No, it's fine. It's a deal."

Steve doesn't know exactly what to think but maybe Chrissy and Robin should work on their communication. 

x

Chrissy waits as Steve gets ready. He honestly didn't feel like changing but she said he should take a shower and relax just a bit, so he wouldn't be all defensive when it was time to talk to Robin. 

Steve sighs but he ends up agreeing because a nice, hot shower sounds good. His shift was proper hell today and he was looking forward to relaxing a bit, maybe watching something or even calling Dustin to catch up. 

When he's ready, Chrissy announces she will be driving them and Steve shrugs but accepts  anyway. He expects her to take him to her place or something so when she stops at a weird-looking parking lot Steve thinks maybe Chrissy is the one about to sell his organs on the internet. 

"Go on," she nudges him softly and Steve raises an eyebrow. "C'mon, it's not that bad."

"I should've known looking for roommates on Craigslist would have consequences," he says as a joke. Mostly. 

Chrissy chuckles. "It's not that bad."

It is that bad and she knows it. From what Steve can gather they are outside a dive bar in all its glory. Steve is not opposed to dive bars in general, but this was definitely not how he expected his Friday night to go. 

"Fine, I'm going, but just so you know my parents will come for you if something happens to me." 

"Robin says you don't talk to your parents," Chrissy grins at Steve and he shrugs.

"It was worth a shot," and then he's out of the car and into the quiet cold night. 

The bar isn't as bad as Steve imagined, even if it's called Hellfire. Not a very inviting name but then again, it's absolutely packed and Steve is kind of shocked. There are old-looking guys who Steve would bet have come to this same bar every day for the last twenty years and then some twenty-somethings grouped everywhere, with cheap-ass beers in their hands and loud voices. 

What surprises Steve the most is how both groups seem to get along pretty well, as long as they stay on their side of the bar. 

Steve takes a look around trying to see Robin's mess of mousy-brown hair but she's nowhere to be found. For a second he thinks maybe Chrissy tricked him for some reason but when his eyes inspect the place once again he finds what he was looking for. 

And it's not Robin. 

Eddie is sitting in a booth in the far corner of the bar, with no one around him. Steve might not be the brightest person on earth but in that same second, he understands Eddie is there to meet him, for some reason. 

He clenches his hands closed and walks toward him, trying not to think too hard about seeing Eddie again, otherwise he feels like he'd puke. 

"Hey," Steve says as soon as he's close enough and Eddie rips his eyes from his bottle to look at Steve. There are too many feelings there for Steve to figure out so he nods to the empty seat in front of him. "Mind if I join you?"

Eddie shakes his head and Steve thinks he looks adorable. 

"Interesting choice of place," Steve says to try and make things less awkward. 

Eddie laughs and the sound is delicious and Steve feels like he's winning, somehow. 

"I work here," Eddie admits, but he has a secret smile on his lips as if he knows exactly why Steve said what he said. As if they are connected in a way Steve had never felt with anyone else. 

As if a minute had passed since the last time they talked and not weeks. 

"Good to know," Steve says and he thinks he's flirting even though he should be apologizing but Eddie doesn't seem mad that he's flirting because he's flirting back. Or so Steve hopes he is. 

"Robin said it was a safe choice," Eddie says and Steve can feel her name souring his mood a little. "Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned her."

Maybe Steve needs to get this over with. 

"It's ok. I just really needed to say I'm sorry again. I hate that you got caught up in something so awful and fucked up and I'm sorry I didn't try harder to explain myself and-"

"Stop."

Steve does because he's been rejected by Eddie once and he's afraid he's getting rejected again. He thinks - no, he knows - he wouldn't survive it. 

"Robin might've ambushed me at work and forced me to listen to her explanations and her weird apology."

Steve clicks his tongue. He rests one of his hands on top of the table and feels the pull towards Eddie. If this was any other date he would reach out and grab his hand but he's not even sure this is a date. 

"I'm sorry for that too. Chrissy told me she has a hard time understanding boundaries."

Eddie shrugs as if it doesn't matter. "Yeah, well. That was clear from the start."

At that, they both laugh and it feels so right it hurts. Steve had accepted the fact that he wouldn't get this, not with Eddie, and now. 

Now he might. 

"I'm really sorry, Eddie," Steve's not looking at him when he says it but then he feels a warm, calloused hand on his and he looks up. Eddie is smiling softly at him as if they were all alone in the whole world. 

"You don't need to apologize. Robin explained everything and she said you had nothing to do with it. I'm sorry my insecurities got the best of me. I should've let you explain yourself. I should've believed you."

Eddie's hand feels good around his and Steve moves until their fingers are intertwined. Eddie has a couple of tattoos on his fingers which contrast with Steve's blank ones in a way that feels absolutely right. 

"I'm still sorry. I hate that you got caught up in this," Steve answers easily. 

"Me too," Eddie says. His thumb starts drawing circles on Steve's hand. "But in a fucked up way it brought me to you, here. So maybe I don't hate it all that much."

Steve smiles. He doesn't hate it either. 

x

Talking to Eddie is as easy as the first day and Steve feels amazed by it. 

They keep their hands securely clasped together as they sip their beers and talk about everything. Steve tells Eddie about his talk with Robin right after he left and how angry and upset he was. Eddie tells him about his talk with Robin and how… Numb he felt. 

He explains he spent so much time thinking he had Steve all figured out that it was really hard for him to see he didn't. To see Steve was telling the truth and to see Steve, for some weird reason, really wanted Eddie. 

Steve feels his cheeks burning hot at that and his skin tingles in the places it meets Eddie's. 

After an hour they drift off to other subjects as if this is nothing more than a typical Friday night date for them. As if they are just picking up right where they left off. 

It's almost 3 in the morning when a shorter guy with curly hair approaches their table and announces it's the last round - and it's on the house. 

"Thanks, Gareth," Eddie says but he doesn't make eye contact with the guy. And the guy actually looks like he's glaring at Steve. 

Steve furrows his brows and Eddie squeezes his hand softly.

"It's complicated, he's just like, overprotective. I'll tell you all about it later."

Later. 

It gives Steve hope. 

x

Later looks like the empty alley behind the bar at almost 4 am. 

Not for any Gareth stuff, but for… Other stuff. 

Steve lets Eddie push him up against the wall and kiss him like the world is ending. 

Steve kisses him right back as if they could fix the world with it. 

Eddie feels warm and soft pressed against him and Steve can't contain the small sounds leaving his mouth. Eddie swallows every single one of them, hands finding their way underneath Steve's polo shirt.

Skin touching skin as Eddie's fingers explore him, squeezing and moving around, drawing circles that drive Steve crazy because he wants more. He wants more and more. Eddie lets his fingers brush on Steve's nipple and he can't help but moan, even if they are still in public. 

"Come home with me," Steve pleads, face buried in Eddie's neck as he drowns in his scent. Eddie smells warm and sweet and so good Steve wants to stay there forever. "Please, baby. Come home with me."

Eddie nods against his skin as his mouth nips at whatever he can find and Steve thinks he can come undone right here if Eddie keeps that up. He doesn't want to stop but he does it anyway because he also wants to take his time. 

He and Eddie never rushed into anything and they are not rushing into this. Eddie smiles that gorgeous smile of his and Steve feels like he could die right now and he would still be the happiest guy on earth. 

"Lead the way," Eddie whispers and Steve does, pulling him away from the wall before it's too late and he loses all his strength. He keeps their hands wrapped up together because he knows that's how it's supposed to be. 

He brings Eddie home again, and that tonight they take their time with each other. They talk and laugh and kiss and smile. They take pieces of clothing off and they spread their fingers everywhere. They touch and squeeze and scratch. 

They take each other apart knowing they won't ever be apart again. It's a silent promise in between kisses and laughter. It's a spoken promise when they are all sweaty and tangled up in each other, hands still clasped together, with no space in between their bodies. 

Eddie kisses him again and again and again and Steve feels like he's floating. 

Steve kisses him again and again and again and he hopes he gets to do it forever. 

x

They wake up to a buzzing sound that tells Steve someone is there but when he opens the door there's only this big breakfast basket. He doesn't need to open the note to know it comes from Robin (and Chrissy, he finds out later). 

There are all kinds of foods and a fancy sparkling wine that Eddie immediately opens and pours a glass saying you can only fight a hangover drinking more and Steve wants to drop everything and lock Eddie in his room with just the wine. 

There's also a key Steve recognizes as their front door key. He hums as he looks at it and Eddie pushes the wine in his hand as he grabs a piece of bread from the basket. 

"Are you going to forgive her, you think?"

His question isn't loaded with anything other than curiosity. Steve gets the feeling Eddie wouldn't judge him either way and still, he doesn't know the answer. He shrugs and feels Eddie hugging him from behind. 

"That's ok. There's no right answer here," Eddie says, placing kisses on his shoulder and neck as if he's chasing every single one of Steve's moles. Maybe he is. 

"I don't really know what to do," Steve admits it out loud. Eddie's hand feels so solid around his waist and he feels grounded for the first time in a long time. Maybe ever. 

"Her professor is getting his license revoked," Eddie says and Steve feels a strange satisfaction at that. "She's getting suspended and is probably going to lose the whole semester."

Steve doesn't know if it's too much or not enough. There are too many feelings inside his chest right now. 

"I'm just saying. It's not only up to you to punish her. And you should, you know. Punish her. However you want. Just don't punish yourself in the process, ok?"

Steve's not sure what this means but he knows he's going to figure it out. Robin already gave up the apartment and she's getting held back in school, and Eddie is here and maybe Steve believes nothing else matters right now. 

"You're too smart for your own good," Steve says as he turns in Eddie's arms and finds his mouth so he can kiss him again. 

He tastes like sparks flying and Steve kisses him like he could love him. 

Eddie kisses him back as if he already loves him. 

For now, it feels like enough. 

Previous | Read it on Ao3 and leave kudos!

[lifespectator]

Spasibo

Wanda Maximoff x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: After time of being together, Wanda shows you how much your love means to her.

Warnings: None, just fluff

Translation: Spasibo = Thank you (In russian according to google)

A/N: Well, I've been away from writing for like 6 months. I know this is probably not what you want or expect. But I felt the need to write something to get myself going again. Plus, it's been a year since I made my first post on Tumblr (June 24, 2022) so why not? Hope ya'll enjoy, though :)

"Are we there yet, Wands?" You asked, Wanda, who was pulling you by the arm.

You trusted your girlfriend with all your heart, but after walking blindfolded for 10 minutes and tripping with rocks for a couple of times, you were impatient to know where she was taking you. Wanda wanting to do something like this was completely out of her normal behavior but you always supported her actions, so you went with it.

Wanda giggled. "Relax, boo. We're almost there." Wanda answered. "I promise you will love the surprise." She reassured.

"Great, I was beginning to think you were trying to murder me." Your joke won you a glare from Wanda that went unnoticed by you thanks to the blindfold. Instead, she decided to play along.

"Throwing that possibility out the window was your first mistake." Wanda murmured loud enough for you to hear. A blank expression plastered on your face until you heard the young witch burst in laughter. She looked at you to notice your serious expression.

"Oh, come on. It was funny." Wanda said. You gave in and chuckled. "Ok, fine. You did get me there." You surrendered to Wanda's claims.

You kept walking with Wanda leading the way. Some minutes before, you realized that the floor below you was grass meaning that you were either at a park or an open field. Going to the park with Wanda was a normal thing. Both of you engage in that activity at least once or twice a week. The odd part is that Wanda insisted on going at the time when the dark of the night was completely filling the sky. Without forgetting that she had insisted on covering your eyes with a scarf she owned.

"You have some crazy ideas." You remarked. Wanda responded with an 'mhm'.

"In what aspect though?" Wanda asked, in a teasing tone. You first questioned what she meant but blushed when you caught on. Wanda smirked at your reaction.

"Control yourself now, we're here." Wanda informed. You exhaled as your hands reached to remove the scarf but was stopped by Wanda's own.

Wanda walked behind you. "Let me do it." She brought her hands up to the scarf. "Are you ready?" She asked, sounding rather enthusiastic.

"I am." you answered, eager to know what all this was about.

"Hope you like it." Wanda untied the scarf, finally letting you see again. After blinking a few times to get accustomed with light, what lied in front of you warmed your heart. A picnic blanket with a basket on top of it. She invited you to sit down on the blanket.

You sat next to her, admiring the candles that were also placed in the middle of the blanket. They were fake but they showed Wanda's attention to detail.

"This is so beautiful." You complimented Wanda's work, she offered her signature sweet smile in return.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm loving this." You admitted, the little stuff that Wanda did for you always showed how much she loved you. "But what are we celebrating?" You questioned.

Wanda looked at you, frowning. "Y/N, did you really forget?" Her tone made you gulp. Her mentioning your name with that tone showed that she was not pleased with your question.

"I- I'm sorry, I really don't remember." It scared you, since you didn't remember Wanda telling you anything and your anniversary of being with her was still months away. You felt your body shake a bit in nervousness.

Wanda got closer to you when she suddenly erupted in laughter. "Relax, I was joking." She confessed while still laughing.

"Damn you really did scare me this time." You said in relief. Wanda placed around you. "Oh, baby, please forgive me." She comforted, your hand reached for her hand that was on your shoulder and carefully placed yours on top of hers. "It's alright, Witchy. I could never stay mad at you."

Wanda smiled, taking her hands off yours and reached for the basket where she pulled out a champagne bottle and two flute glasses.

"While it's true that there isn't anything important to celebrate today." She handed you a glass. "Today I felt the need to celebrate our love because your love has made me stronger and has cured me in several ways." Wanda popped open the champagne bottle and poured some into your glass.

After pouring champagne into her glass, she put the bottle down and raised her glass to make a toast. "To our love." Wanda announced. You brought your glass, making contact with hers. Both of you giggling to the clicking noise.

"To our love." You said, offering a warm smile.

You and Wanda brought the glass up and drank from it. You were the first to bring it down and waited for Wanda. Once she brought it down, you moved closer to her and without hesitation, connected your lips to her. Wanda reciprocated with the same passion.

The kiss only ended because you pulled away to catch some air. You looked down to see her also panting. You pulled her close and she relaxed into you.

"This was really special, Wanda. Thank you." You said, being grateful for her. Only Wanda would do such a beautiful thing for you.

"Stay with me forever." Wanda told you. You ran your hand through her ginger hair. "Don't worry, I'll never leave." You assured her.

"Spasibo." Wanda muttered in a low breathy voice, resting her head on your chest.

"Did you say something, my love?" You asked, stroking her silky hair.

Wanda closed her eyes. "Just enjoying the moment." She answered in a soft tone. The only noise she wanted to hear in that moment was the thumping sound of your heart beat. To her, it was a demonstration of how much you loved being with her.

"That champagne looked expensive, where did you get it?" You asked in an attempt to start a conversation. Wanda shifted a little and looked up at you.

"A magician-" She stopped mid sentence and grinned. "Or witch in this case never reveals her secret." Wanda said. She wanted to laugh at the thought of Tony trying to find one of his many expensive bottles. She could apologize, in the event she was caught.

It didn't matter to her. What mattered to her in that instant was you being there with her. She was grateful for your love and attention. The young witch wants to use the rest of her life showing you how much that meant for her. Because your love was a medicine, fixing up all the open wounds.

☆☆☆☆☆☆

Word Count: 1,102

A/N: I would tag my masterlist but links don't work :,) (I'll be fixing it soon)

[theamityelf]

Wait. I just realized. In the Mini SDR2 AU, is Nagito there for everytime Makoto gears up to beat the shit out of Monokuma? Like his nice soft boy of an underclassman took a 180 in personality SO FAST it gave him whipwash!

At least I think it would be funny.

Also if he's more protective of Makoto would he try to warn Makoto about Kyoko lying to him or pointing out that she deliberately put him in danger with the closet stunt to see if the room was important to the mastermind (or something it's been a while since I've rewatched a let's play of it)?

MAKOTO'S TRIAL AND EXECUTION

Oh, yeah!

When Makoto tries to hit Monokuma, I'm imagining Nagito saying something like, "Whoa there! You're full of surprises, aren't you?" and laughing a little.

As far as being protective, I think initially he would mostly just say things like "You're very forgiving," and at most restate what just happened (like, "I see. So, she used you to see if the mastermind would defend the room.") to try to get a reaction from Makoto, who continues to kind of just roll with the punches.

When he foresees actual danger, he for some reason opts to encourage Makoto to take precautions rather than communicating that he foresees danger. For example, if he believed someone was planning to get Makoto alone to kill him (just an example) he would suggest, "Why don't you bring Asahina with you?" instead of telling him he thinks someone wants to kill him.

He doesn't trust Kyoko or Byakuya, but as his priorities shift from everyone's hope/potential to specifically Makoto surviving, his preference also shifts from Kyoko (who keeps proving herself again and again to excel in this game) to Byakuya (whose selfishness can at least be trusted to keep Makoto safe, once it's clear he cares about Makoto).

Makoto noticeably has a crush on both, and Nagito is very worried about him as a result. He keeps going back to them, no matter what they say and do. It isn't that Nagito doesn't see that Kyoko and Byakuya feel something for Makoto in return; he sees that they do. But just because they're endeared by him doesn't mean they pose no danger to him. It might mean the opposite.

Makoto's loyalty, his trust...Earlier in the game, Nagito would have been glad that his kouhai was willing to be a stepping stone, but now he's pretty stressed about it. I'd say the irony isn't lost on him, but honestly it probably is.

He prefers for Makoto to hang out with Hina or Taka. They both seem unlikely to harm him and capable of physically defending him, whereas for everyone else he isn't certain of at least one of those things. Makoto does hang out with them a lot. But he also hangs out with everyone else.

So, the trial and execution!

I'd say that Nagito would adamantly testify that he was with Makoto the whole time and he didn't kill anyone, but that makes things a little too easy, so I'm going to say that when Junko went to kill Makoto, she also took Nagito, chloroformed him, and left him in the middle of the hallway somewhere. So, when he wakes up, he has to take the time to make his way back to Makoto's room, at which point he can't get inside (because if the senpais can get under the doors, that's game changer), so he waits outside the door until Makoto comes out.

He doesn't let anyone see him, because he suspects someone is trying to frame Makoto for something, and he will not help them.

He's still going to insist that Makoto didn't kill Mukuro.

I'm going to say that when Makoto passes on calling out Kyoko's contradiction, Nagito actually tries to point it out himself, but Makoto speaks over him so he can't.

When Makoto is convicted of the murder he didn't commit, Nagito is angry. The mastermind is lying, the game is lying, the battle between hope and despair is reduced to meaningless nonsense, and the most hopeful person here is being sacrificed in its name. He wants to keep insisting that the verdict is wrong, but doing so wouldn't save Makoto. It would just mean that everyone else dies, too...which he's almost angry enough to want, but instead he just asks to be allowed to stay with Makoto in the execution.

Makoto shouldn't have to go through that alone. Nagito would be glad to go with him, and comfort him until the end.

But they don't let him do that.

Ibuki tries to comfort him while they watch Makoto near the block, but Nagito is stone-faced.

And when Makoto survives, all of the tension leaves Nagito's body at once, and he almost falls over.

And you know, I almost want to say that since Alter Ego hacked the system to save Makoto, it also hacked the pods in the basement so normal-sized Nagito wakes up and he can rush to the garbage room and save Makoto himself, because I think that would be really dramatic and fun.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 10

I was laughing but actually the terminator franchise probably is the easiest way to explain the whole time travel thing

I mean that's a very good question

Im Sol: I'm sad Sunjae is going to the US to try and fix his shoulder and get over me but at least this way he won't cross paths with the serial killer who tried to murder him Destiny: Oh, you sweet summer child

Aww he thinks she's sending him away because she doesn't return his feelings. Look at his sad little puppy face.

That definitely wasn't me hiding under your table so of course I didn't see you kiss some other girl

Remember the first time I realised this was Jongho singing and I was so excited? Now whenever it starts I'm just 'NO NOT THE SAD JONGHO SONG I'M ALREADY SAD ENOUGH'

I know we as the audience know that she's lying whenever she tells Sunjae that she doesn't like him but from his perspective how many times does he need to hear it before he gives up? Like come on have some sense of self-preservation

He's so dramatic I love him so much. Shaved his head, got on his knees and cried while begging Sunjae to audition with his band

Oh, I think this is just how he imagines the scenario going

LMAO Sunjae agreed before Inhyuk got to make his big dramatic speech, and he cut all his hair off for nothing 😂

It was only at this point that I realised that this is probably Sunjae imagining their conversation. Everyone is being so dramatic this episode I love it

Ooh is he starting to believe her time travel story

When your ex-boyfriend and your future boyfriend both step in to help with the burst pipes in your house

Of course they're getting into a holding a bowl of water pissing contest. Im Sol isn't even paying attention to either of them.

Mom likes Taesung but Grandma is on team Sunjae

Now kiss? Love that they've abandoned catching water in bowls and are just snarking at each other while they and the floor get wet

Well that took a turn for the dramatic. From amusing scrapping to Taesung nearly getting electrocuted

Aww are they friends now one of them nearly died?

Ehehe! Yes he can

I mean you might?

Im Sol to Sunjae (lying): I don't like you just leave me alone Sunjae: Yeah, I guess she hates me but I still love her Literally everyone else: ARE YOU STUPID, SUNJAE? We can all see that she loves you!

His dad is going to lose his mind after he paid for Sunjae to train abroad and he turned it down (which fair enough he was injured) and how he's paid for Sunjae to go to the US for rehab and I think he's going to turn that down too...

Oh I guess he actually is going. Except not because Im Sol overheard and I bet she's going to go and say goodbye and he'll end up staying

Aww she didn't go to say goodbye she just wanted to watch to make sure he went and would be safe

Why the hell were the police not watching her house when they know a murderer is on the loose and that she's the one who told them about him

Aww I knew he wasn't actually going to leave

I'm not sure you do but okay

Ahhh! He went to pick up the time capsule! Spoilers!

Okay, maybe he does actually know it all

I was like 'ah, cool, he doesn't die in the future now' but THEN I noticed that Eclipse only has three members now. So I guess by ditching the audition Sunjae doesn't become an idol.

[matthias-the-tulip]

my updated list of parts i hope they keep in the red, white & royal blue movie

(updated after i reread it in a day) (a lot of these are just funny lines that add absolutely nothing to the plot but they make me laugh)

• the MAGAZINE 😭

• “he has the personality of a cabbage.”

• “i want to hear you gush like he's your fucking prom date.”

• alex makes a long loud fart noise


• “i'm going to throw up on you” at the stables (doesn't look like they're at a stables in the trailer 😒)

• “i'd rather be waterboarded” also at the stables (again, doesn't look like they're at a stables)

• “i bet he has a secret lovechild,” nora says. “or he's gay. or he has a secret gay lovechild.”

“it's probably in case i see his equerry putting his batteries back in,” alex says.

• midnight ice cream on instagram

• “i didn't know you wore glasses.” (henry's wearing a suit not pyjamas and alex is not wearing glasses what's that all about!)

• awkward fist bump on “this morning” (does not look like it’s a chat show in the trailer but also would a royal even go on this morning)

• star wars stan henry 🥹

• “not impressed, just surprised.”

“at what?”

“that you actually have, you know, feelings.”

• henry is beginning to smile…

• “do you MIND?” in the cupboard at the hospital

• “you're not the prince of me” 😭

• “i'd rather not be the little spoon.”

• henry's feet in a mop bucket

• “locked in a cupboard with your elbow inside my rib cage.”

• “i cannot believe even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are.”

• “are you psychoanalysing me? i don't think royal guests are allowed to do that.”

• “is that the time you threatened to push me into the thames?”

• “no booty calls.”

• “it was like you were trying to set him on fire with your mind.”

• june's (nora now i guess 😟) plot to murder woody allen

• “don't let the papers print lies about me after i've garroted myself with my tie.”

• “you are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life.”

• “yes, famously the most sinister of all animal sounds, the gobble.”

• “cornbread knows my sins.”

• the whole turkey situation really

• “buy a summer home in majorca with the turkey”

• MR WOBBLES

• “jabba” cakes.

• henry watching bake off

• “you're jeff goldblum”

• “yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe”.

“I BEG YOU TO NOT”

• “it sounds like you did your best.” 🥹

• the new year’s party being referred to as “the legendary balls-out bananas white house trio new year's eve party” (white house duo now 😭)

• “please do not attempt to steal my shine. you will fail and i will be embarrassed for you.”

• “says prince fucking charming.”

• get low playing at the new year’s eve party

• alex’s reaction to get low playing at the new year’s eve party

• “christ, you are as thick as it gets.”

• alex falling while running with june (nora now i guess 😟) cause he was thinking about henry

• “he's gay and you're hot, so.”

• “still waters, deep dicking.”

• “prince henry is a biscuit,” nora says,
“let him sop you up.”

• they know each other's sleep schedule and alex gets in a bad mood when he doesn't talk to him 🥹

• “you're not going to kill him, are you?” she says.
“probably not,” alex tells her

• “shut up, shut all the way up, oh my
god”

• alex pushing henry up against a wall!

• “i mean, er, should we, i dunno, slow down?”henry says, cringing so hard at himself that one eye closes. “go for dinner first, or-“

• hooking one knee around the back of alex's thigh 😉

• ”i'm going to die,” henry says helplessly.

“i'm going to kill you,” alex tells him.

“yes, you are,” henry agrees.

• alex fixing his hair for him 😢😢😢

• henry singing god save the queen (king i guess) to make his 🍆 go away

• “i am going to do very bad things to you, and if you fucking ghost me again, i’m going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it?”

• “you were jealous,” alex says. “you want me.”

• henry calling alex bossy 😂

• alex literally just insulting henry while he’s going to town on him

• “do you ever stop talking?” henry says. “such a mouth on you.”

• “hi,” he says, when he reaches henry’s eye level.

“hello,” henry says back.

“i’m gonna take your pants off now,” alex tells him.

“yes, good, carry on.”

• fucking eyelashes

• when he's done, he presses a sticky kiss in the crease of alex's leg where he'd slung it over his shoulder

• the mattress shifts, and henry moves up to the pillows, nuzzling his face into the hollow of alex's throat. alex makes a vague noise of approval, and his arms fumble around henry's waist, but he's helpless to do much else.

• the tip of henry’s nose catching on alex’s

• “for fuck’s sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me goodnight.”

• monocles for babies 😂

• “i don’t like that look,” amy says. “you look…sweaty.”

• “what in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell?”

• the whole polo kit situation. henry slowly putting his boot back on the floor

• “i’ve thrown men in the dungeons for less.”

“hey, don’t threaten me with a good time.”

• paris!!! leaving directions to the cheese

• “you're a mad, spiteful, unmitigated demon, and I'm going to kiss you until you forget how to talk.”

• birthday floggings et al and the buttercream!

• alex’s heart going weird at henry on the boat and having to put his head in his hands

• “i don't give a damn what joanne has to say, remus john lupin is gay as the day is long, and i won't hear a word against it.”

• “i will staple your dick to the inside of your leg”

• “i did get both of the gay kings.”

• “deflowering the darling of the republic.”

• “i'm not ... historically great at talking about things,” henry says.

“well, i wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart.”

“wasn't?"

“hey,” alex huffs. “are you trying to say i'm still not good at them?”

“no, no, i wouldn't dream of it,” henry says, and alex can hear the small smile in his voice. “it was just the first one that was.. well. it was enthusiastic, at least.”

“i don't remember you complaining…”

“yes, well, i'd only been fantasizing about it for ages.”

• baby. (!!!)

• “i miss you,” alex says before he can stop himself. he instantly regrets it, but henry says, “i miss you too.”

• “i want to ... put my fingers in his mouth...” she moans, sounding horrified.

• just the whole karaoke bar situation. plz. toilet stall hookup!

• “bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry.”

• o captain, my captain

• “if only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when american boys with chin dimples are mean to him.”

• the fruity truth: my favourite english author is jane austen.

• “when at wimbledon”

• “i want to see a cage match between your grandmother (grandfather i guess) and this fucking ghoul running against my mom”

• “and you are good. most things are awful most of the time, but you're good.”

• “he is truly a picture, wearing an expression of bewildered panic and absolutely nothing else.”

• “jesus tits”

• henry falling out of the wardrobe and just. sitting on the floor. (zahra finds him in the wardrobe instead :()

• “i thought you were getting into international relations or something.”

“i mean, technically-“

• “you're literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state, who is a man, at the biggest political event before the election, in a hotel full of reporters, in a city full of cameras, in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this, like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams, and you're asking me not to tell the president about it?”

• all of zahra's quips tbh - “every time i see you, it takes another year off my life.” - “ask me if i'm afraid of the crown.”

• SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION WITH
FOREIGN MONARCHS: A GRAY AREA.

• EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?

• FEDERAL FUNDING, TRAVEL EXPENSES, BOOTY CALLS, AND YOU

• history, huh? bet we could make some. (the emails plz like i need at least some of them read aloud over a montage or something)

• “some saucy tart once tried to impugn my virtue against an oil painting of him, and in the halls of memory, some things demand context.”

• I GUESS THAT MAKES YOU. THE MF. NORTH STAR.

• “i thought you might need to, like, have a catholic moment about this or something?” 😭

• “santa maria is watching!”

• skinny dipping!!!

• “philip is the heir and i'm the spare, and if that nervy bastard has a heart attack at thirty-five and i've got malaria, whither the spare?”

• alex's meltdown outside kensington. very important. - “how 'bout i just keep yelling and we see which of the papers show up first!” he turns back to the window and starts flailing his arms too. “henry! your royal fucking highness!”

• “jesus, could you stop being an obtuse fucking asshole for, like, twenty seconds?”

• “i fucking love you, okay?” alex half yells, finally, irreversibly.

• “what do you want?”

“i want you-”

“then fucking have me.”

“-but i don’t want this.”

• “a whole lifetime of fine. that’s not good enough for me.”

• henry nuzzling his nose behind alex's ear.

• alex laughs and grabs his head and aggressively kisses his cheek, smashing his face into the pillow.

• “next time we shall visit some of the george Ill pieces and see if they burst into flame.”

• DANCING TO YOUR SONG IN THE MUSEUM

• “i completely fucking love you” and the ring and the chain

• “once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier”

• henry’s email about memories and grief and the first time he saw alex

• “jesus, be a gay beard”

• henry and alex in the car after the fake date

• “i will physically fight your grandmother (grandfather i guess) myself if i have to, okay? and, like, she's (he’s) old. i know i can take her (him).”

“i wouldn't be so cocky,” henry says with a small laugh. “she's (he’s)full of dark surprises.”

• “your spine's a ridge i'd die climbing”

• “check the fucking news, you horny little miscreant”

• “it’s about to be gay DEFCON five in this administration.”

• “then fuck it.”

• the big group hug

• oscar saying “give ‘em hell.”

• “you're my mean friend.”

• “jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing”

• I 😭 LOVE 😭 HIM 😭 ON 😭PURPOSE 😭 they can't leave that out if they do i'll kill someone

• “what are we even defending here, philip? what kind of legacy? what kind of family, that says, we'll take the murder, we'll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, we'll scrub it up nice and neat in a museum, but oh no, you're a bloody poof? that's beyond our sense of decorum! i've bloody well had it. i've sat about long enough letting you and gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and i'm finished. i don't care. you can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, philip. i'm done.”

• “for what it's worth,” he says to philip, “that is the bravest son of a bitch i’ve ever met.”

• “we banged it out last night” + high five

• “i've been gay as a maypole since the day i came out of mum, philip.”

• all the support for them 🥹

• bea pouring the tea on philip's lap

• “you know, i think all that cocaine i did must’ve really done a job on my reflexes!”

• henry pulls alex close and kisses him, whispers, "i love you i love you i love you."

• never 😭 tell 😭 me 😭 the 😭 odds 😭

• “my life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person”

• “you are the absolute worst idea i’ve ever had”

• “listen, you've had your first big sex scandal. no more sitting at the kids' table.”

• how to love each other in plain sight

• “holding henry’s hand atop his own knee” in the portrait

• “all this fundraising for sobriety is going to drive me to drink”

• “i'm the prince of...here” 😭

• “you spent a month of your gap year talking to yaks in mongolia, h.”

• “i know it's a lot, but you give people hope. so, get back out there and be alex.”

• the super six 😭 (fantastic five now i guess)

• the picture of them on the cover of the magazine

• henry fixing june's hair 🥹 (NORA NOW I GUESS 😟)

[slasherscream]

black girl high femme reader request here 👄💅 can we get a black!reader who's aesthetic is super girly y2k w/ crazy ass boys gang. Maybe she's got a little attitude but is sweet w/ the boys?? Thank youuuuuu 🧡

A/N: oh god yes i LOVE y2k as a black girl and i want to do a fashion wardrobe reboot when i have the money, don’t care if it’s just a trend i love it

crazy ass boys gang + black!reader who loves y2k fashion

billy loomis: First off he loves brats, he really does. He doesn’t know what it is about that little attitude of yours but it gets to him. The way you dress is what first got him eyeballing you. If we’re being frank, how feminine you were made him think you’d be the perfect victim (problematic? uhm, yeah.) Local man who doesn’t know how to separate extreme attraction from his murderous urges please stand up. He started talking to you and decided he was going to go on a few dates with you first though. You’ve gotta know someone in order to make their nightmares come true when you’re killing them! But he fell in love with you instead >:((. He’ll be angry about that for a while, honestly.

josh washington: Thinks you’re a baddie. This is the highest compliment since he’s always around baddies. He can’t help it, it’s the natural order of things. He’s rich, funny, outgoing, and popular. He attracts hot people in droves. He’s only ever got eyes for you though. Thinks your attitude is well-deserved. If he looked half as hot as you he’d have an attitude too. Likes to watch you get ready when you two go out. Also likes adding new pieces to your wardrobe. The reward is watching you look so good (plus the kisses, those are great too.)

stu macher: He likes mean people so he peeps your attitude quickly and it makes him go ‘awooga’. You’ll assume it was your looks but no, it was your resting bitch face. He really likes your makeup. Loves it when you do a lip-liner and colored gloss look. Always chases you around trying to make out with you because he likes the shine of it getting smeared everywhere. Gets you a lot of accessories and designer things. You stay decked out in baby phat and baby phat equivalent. Also, he loves to match.

jd/jason dean: Isn’t that impressed with aesthetics. He’s been all around the country and observed all sorts of cliques. Still, he appreciates your dedication to one particular look. Bonus points if where you live no one else is doing it quite like you. If you’re not afraid to stick out, that will definitely grab his attention. Dressed to impress even though you’re just going on a quick snack run to 7/11? It makes him smirk. You’re a little high maintenance, and it’s not typically what he’d go for, but there’s something about your Queen Bee attitude that keeps him locked down forever. 

kevin khatchadourian: As disrespectfully as possible, he does not care ☠️. Secretly he does like that Eva hates the way you dress (she is ever so slightly prejudiced, if not ever so slightly full-on racist.) This is something you have in common as she also hates the way he dresses. Doesn’t like it when you give him attitude but doesn’t care how you treat other people at all. Probably prefers it when you’re mean to other people. The smaller your circle is the more time you have for him. Is noticeably kinder to you when you’re being sweet to him though, so keep eye-rolls and teeth sucking to a minimum for your own sake. 

nathan prescott: Tries not to be obsessed with you but he is. You make him froth at the mouth. He takes one look at you and demands you start hanging out with his crowd so he can always have you around but pretend he’s not that interested. You see right through him and probably ignore his ass, just for a laugh, just because you can. This makes him even worse and bruises his ego. He’ll break before you do and it won’t be particularly romantic but you can’t expect much when it comes to Nathan and romance. Gift giving isn’t so much his love language as it is a compulsion because he’s miserable at showing his affection any other way. Loves the way you look but is not confident enough in his taste to buy you clothes on his own. Throws his wallet at you and demands fashion shows once you get back from your shopping spree. Some of your date nights involve him just taking pictures of you and instructing you how to pose. It relaxes him. 

sebastian valmont: What’s better than one bad bitch? Two bad bitches. You two look so good together it’s sickening. You don’t match, but the opposing styles you have wind up looking very sleek side by side. He loves shopping and always pays for the trips. Will even get you two personal shoppers that will bring clothes to you so you can have “lowkey” dates at your mansion. You two are high maintenance together. Equally bratty. He loves that he can be bitchy with you but also loves that he can be sentimental and soft as well. Because of the circles he runs in, people have said one or two nasty things about you behind your back, like calling you a gold-digger. He has ruined more than a few people’s lives over these comments. Tells you about it too because he needs you to know he’ll take care of you in all regards. Romantic king. 

david mccall: You’re definitely not the first black girl he’s dated. He’s got “I regularly date black women” swag. He knows all the drills. Likes to spoil you rotten and get you to go soft for him. He likes your hard-ass persona too though. Parades you around because you’re literally the catch of the century. You two are attached at the hip because he’s toxic. There are no more girls only nights. He’s always playing body-guard. Upside, he looks hot when he’s staring people down for looking at you too long. You can always wear what you want because he’s always ready to fight. Sits and feeds you food while you get your nails and hair done and never complains no matter how long it takes. The only thing he does afterwards is fawn over the way you look and pay the bill. Again, he knows the drill. 

sparrow!ben hargreeves: Is very focused on appearances since he’s always lived in the limelight. He’s always put together so he needs a partner who is on the same wavelength when it comes to looking good. Knows you’re not dating him for his fame because you give nasty ass looks to the paparazzi whenever they interrupt dates. It honestly makes him laugh, which is hard to do. He loves your mean little attitude when it’s directed at other people. Do not get snippy with him or y’all will be yelling at each other anytime and anyplace. Apologizes to you with expensive gifts. You make him use his words anyways and it enrages him, but he’s addicted to you so he says he’s sorry through gritted teeth. (He thinks the thousands of dollars of Off-White clothes he got you should have sufficed as a “sorry” but he keeps his mouth wisely shut.)

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[geminialchemist]

Long post with Hazbin Hotel S1 spoilers!

While I don’t think it’ll happen, what I’d love to see from season 2 of Hazbin Hotel is an episode set in Heaven, directly after the events of S1E6 “Welcome to Heaven.” Preferably, this episode will be either the first or second episode of the season, with Adam still alive and kicking as Heaven prepares for the next Extermination Day.

Why do I want an episode like this? Simple. Because after what happened in S1E6, Heaven has to be in a lot of turmoil. I’m talking total chaos, protests in the streets kind of stuff. Think about it from the perspective of one of the winners. Hell, think of it from the perspective of Angel Dust’s sister in Heaven, Molly.

You’re Molly, and you’re dead, and end up in Heaven. Score! So you go searching for your twin brother, who died before you(probably, canon is unclear right now). You two were close, and you had the best relationship with Anthony out of anyone in your family.

You search for a while. A very long while. Heaven is a big place, after all. You don’t find Anthony anywhere. You ask around, and no one has seen or heard of him. Doubt builds up, as this can only mean one thing and you dread getting that answer. Finally, you go to the big name taker himself, St. Peter, and ask politely if your brother has been through the pearly gates, and you hear the worst news since you got to Heaven, he didn’t make the cut and is in Hell.

So now you’re asking around to find out if anyone has ever made it up from Hell and into Heaven. Surely someone has, right? But as you ask the angels and other winners around Heaven, you get a variety of replies, ranging from pity to some straight up laughing in your your face over the very idea that a sinner can be redeemed. The answer, no matter who you ask, is the same. A resounding “No.”

So, Hell is forever(whether you like it or not), and you’ll never see Anthony again. There doesn’t even seem to be a way to message sinners, or visit them. You don’t think he deserved his fate, but you can only hope that Hell isn’t as bad as everyone says it is, and that he’s doing well down there.

Then one day, someone from Hell is visiting Heaven, which is unheard of and is causing a ruckus. The Princess of Hell herself is here! After a song and dance number, you discover she’s here for a trial hearing about if a sinner can be redeemed or not. This is the best news you’ve heard in decades! You might have a chance to reunite with Anthony! You go to the trial, take a seat in the gallery of the courtroom, and what you find out is horrific.

Hell is worse than you thought. Your brother, Anthony, of all people, is the example the princess of Hell is using to make her case, and now he goes by Angel Dust, and is forced to be a porn star. Despite unknowingly passing every test that Adam and the Seraphim place on him, they still deem Anthony unfit for heaven, even as Emily argues against this, siding with Hell’s Princess. Why is the princess of Hell more concerned with your brother’s fate than Heaven, who are supposed to be the good guys?

And even worse, you find out that every year, Adam and a bunch of angels under his command go down and kill sinners, just like your brother. Adam slaughters them, and doesn’t hide his enjoyment of his actions, even proclaiming his intentions of attacking the very hotel that is trying to rehabilitate sinners as his first target for the next extermination. And the head Seraphim, Sera, says and does nothing to stop him. She absolutely condones his monstrous actions.

Heaven has been killing people, committing genocide, for who knows how long? Denying your family, friends, and loved ones who didn’t make the cut a chance to change, and then murdering them? Anthony has only managed to survive by luck or skill, and now his head is directly placed on the chopping block after he’s gone through all this effort to get into heaven in the first place?

And now the courtroom is in shambles, angels arguing over this earthshattering news that Adam and Sera have been hiding from them. Even some of your fellow mortal souls are torn into two camps, one who thinks the sinners deserve whatever is coming to them, and the other like yourself who don’t want their friends and family in hell to suffer even more.

You decide to Hell with Heaven. Torches and pitchforks all around as over the course of a month you do everything you can along with your fellow likeminded angels and Winners to get the extermination canceled. Protests, threats, petitions, you try everything, but it’s all in vain as Adam gathers his troops and goes down.

Thats what I wanna see in the start of season 2, with the Heaven focused episode ending with Sir Pentious arriving in Heaven, proving a sinner can redeem themselves, and putting an end to the conflict. But just because Heaven decides to end the exterminations and work to redeem sinners now that there is undeniable proof walking/slithering among them, doesn’t mean it washes away their own sins. Sera can’t bring back the millions who were killed by Adam and his legions, who now will never have a chance to be redeemed and reunite with their loved ones in Heaven. Molly wouldn’t even know if Anthony survived the last extermination.

Let there be a shake up in heaven, let there be lingering resentment towards the angels for what they’ve done, let there be some kind of conflict or consequences for the actions Heaven took. I always hate when a show glosses over stuff like this. I want the final shot of this hypothetical episode to be Sera and Em sitting in that room, with protests right outside their door, discussing what needs to be done. Sera wanting to continue the exterminations, even if if it angers the winners because she believes its in their best interests, and Em trying to get Sera to change her mind, and call off the attack, only for Sir Pentious to pop in like he did at the end of season one, ending their discussion because now Sera doesn’t have a leg to stand on anymore.

You can even keep a comedic angle by having the Winners be terrible at civil protests because they’re all so goodie two shoes. They don’t want to throw a brick through a window, that would be rude and mean!