#meatflaps

[val-victory]

Part I

Today was a Day unlike any other. Today was the Day Vic could finally rid himself of his Human Imperfections. Free of Bones, free of Muscles, free of a limited analogue biological Existence. Finally he would fuse with Exa forever.

But the Lab would not open for another few Hours. He had some Time to kill, so why not start this unusual Day like any other: with Breakfast.

The Oatmilk and the Maize Kernels rotated for a few Minutes in the Microwave, eventually they started Popping. Warm Milk and Cereal, the only Breakfast that could satisfy someone as picky as him.

Taste, the Thought of that amused Vic, as a Porygon it would not have Tastebuds in the usual Sense, instead there would be Nutrition Sensors that would detect the Value of each Bite and then send a Report to it's seccondary Input Stream... that would feel so much better than throwing chewed up wet biological Matter down your Throat right next to your Airtube where you hope that the small Meatflap that seperates the two Tubes doesn't act up and makes you almost suffocate from a small Droplet of Water.

He still had Time after finishing his Meal. Enough Time to look at himself in the Mirror one last Time. He looked like he usually did, round Face, short blue Hair, almost unnoticeable Stubble. Not enough to get a full Beard, but also not so little that he could get away without shaving. Should he shave one last Time? Did that even matter at this Point, it was just another Reminder of how little Control he had over his Body. Every Cell and every Follicle doing whatever it was made to do, with no Way to change or reprogram it. At least his Hair Color was somewhat variable, blue suited him, it looked somewhat artificial. Was that the Reason why he dyed his Hair that Way? He could not remember, it just felt right.

After getting dressed, in his usual Clothes(which he would not need anymore), and his Labcoat, which he never forget to wear when having Lab Duty, because 'Labcoats are cool'. It was finally Time to leave his Dorm.

The Halls were as wide as ever, with a Conveyor Belt on each Side for Accessibility. But Vic liked walking, at least a Bit more than standing and waiting. But soon enough he wouldn't do either, he could just fly anywhere. And for longer Distances he would just need a Port of the Network, and go instantly anywhere on the Planet.

Lost in Thought he almost ran into one of the Guys from Engineering, Vic would be able to remember his Name, if remembering Names wasn't one of his biggest Weaknesses. (another Thing that being a Porygon could fix) The Guy had blonde Hair and was currently typing up a storm on his two Wrist Computers, criss-cross.

Vic was trying to remember his Name, but all his Mind could come up with were "Chromaton, Chromedome, Chromillion, Chromard and Chromateur." none of which sounded like real Names to him.

"Victor, good to see you, i wanted to commend you on your impeccable job of creating an operating system for my newest invention." Chromos(?) said with his usual calm and collected Tone of Voice.

"well, i wouldn't call it impeccable. i was thinking about my own project while working on it, i made a few mistakes. like, if i was you i would wait with the testing phase until i got it's personality matrix to connect with it's mainframe properly." Vic rebutted, despite being somewhat scared of the Guy.

"But Victor, we are both researchers you should be able to see the value in praxis before theory. It passed all of the tests with flying neutrals. why don't you see for yourself."

The Researcher procured a Pokéball and threw it onto the Floor. A small artificial Pokémon materialized in front of Vic, it just barely reached his Knees, but only if you included those stylized Loudspeakers on the Side of it's Head. It activated it's typical Idle Mode, just scanning the Area without a greater Purpose.

Chromatorium(?) exuded an Aura of Superiority. "You can see that this little prototype is totally harmless right?"

"well not exactly. just because it hasn't harmed anyone yet won't mean it will be safe in the future. i'll make you an offer, deactivate it for now, and i'll look over the code one more time. like in the afternoon, after i'm done with my research?" Vic argued, trying to be diplomatic.

"I will consider it, i'll put V-22 on hold, and as long as temporarily fusing with a Z-Version doesn't mess up your brain you can debug it."

Vic wanted to say something, especially after that last Comment, but all he could muster was a pathetic "ok... later..." Vic hated it when he didn't know how to counter an Insult. he was so much better at this online.

Chromatasio(?) and his little Gremlin left the Scene by sidestepping onto the Conveyor Belt and riding to what Vic hopes is the Engineering Workshop where Chromoze(?) would hopefully put the Project on hold.

Vic decided that running was no longer worth it and he stepped on the other Conveyor. slowly riding into the Direction of the Computer Lab.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @sprinkleglitz

HM, CURSED.

please tell me this is about like, working at the deli aisle or smth

text: how long, how deep are your meatflaps?

[masterparty69]

It's so good to have chased the filthy toothless meth whore from the net but my greatest accomplishment is yet to come meatflaps dumb slut

[dudenukem]

The Salesman, methodically visiting every house in town. Whoever you are, he’s positive he has something you need. On view right now at @darkartemporium. . . . . . . . #somanypockets #meatflaps #surrealcollage #collageartist #collageartists #collageart #handcutpaper #meatstack https://www.instagram.com/p/Cf1gv2DukYG/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[lordofthefeline]

WIP of my DnD Party’s Pets and Familiars.

They have an affinity for collecting really strange...pets...

[kiwipeel]

whos finn :(

a stinky nobody 

[tabitha2]

The WORDS don’t stop. But you stay blank. You know you’re no dummy. You’re just so ditzy you come across forgetful. Those things burn you. Blushing at phrases or the way you say smilingly you love your sandwich. The taste. You are a total spunk licker, aren’t you ? Now stick out your tongue. And taste this. Right ? That’s it; you are what you always act like. You are shaped like a born beautiful bitch, you hear me ? And it’s right for you to take a long thick swallow of gravy. Hot. Throbbing. You all right there ? Yeah. It’s what you wake up with. Wake up with that princess head, huh babe ? Needing to find anywhere in your phone the positive pump from your lover. It was lost in the frosting that sticks to you. You could try to point but you’re just sweet gunk nothing left. And you sigh and smile. Just a dream. You are just so dreamy about that dreamy guy you, like, dreamed about. You & you & you, but you know things, honest. You can try not to be a blonde, but everyone is so sure. You giggle as you say bonehead things coming out your boned-up mouth. How much mayo on that ? Lick your lips look him in the eyes and say, all of it, stud. Right ?! You totally do. You totally do. Stick out those titties and savor the whole thing. They all think what you did is fucking awesome. GOD, you really are SUCH a born COCKSUCKER, princess. You use your words to make Men hard, and it’s a holy mission. Beautiful busty bimbo maybe in a bikini. Use your mouthful of food to fucking blow their minds. Talk around that tummy yummy right now like you’re gum gumming a guy. Sexy and bothered with your voice all MEATFLAPS. To say every day you. In your bed. Just don’t. You were. But it’s. Cake. Ugh, you would be the white pink sugar. But it’s gone inside the flavors and you need to stop.

[ghostofangrycheesecake]

When idiots say stupid things. The entire world came up with a novel virus to implant a chip in her addled fucking pudding brain?

It’s even worse when the idiot works as a minimum-wage-earning home health helper for hospice patients to get off the welfare and con dole she’s lived on for years since she couldn’t pregnant her way into a rich dude (4 kids, 4 diff baby daddies). They all saw the crazy and ran like hell.

She’s got how many child support lawsuit judgments against her? So she couldn’t get a real job cuz IRS and garnished wages?

She went from bus toilets to bed pans. Keepin’ it real, bro.

Plandemic? What a paranoid + ignorant fuck. Risking the patients whose homes she sleezes into. 

Who the hell decided it would be a good idea to give her free reign over elderly hospice patient homes with her track record?

If it’s the moron, erm, mormon church, shame on them 1,000 times over.

Mask the meatflaps #NotElizabeth And stop playing the victim. She’s victimized far too many.

Let’s not get started on an underaged kid playing with guns in the desert on video as she brags about all the bang-bang guns she has at the ready. (Ready for what?). Does she have a fire arms permit with her warrant(s)? We know he (that poor #NotPete’s kid) doesn’t have a permit. Photos and video are forever, dumber than dumbshit. The authorities have been contacted more than once. 

And, “parish?” WTF Webster?

Clean up the messes and clam up. Crazy, oozing maw of doom.

[srscinema]

Just a couple more #shekills #shekillsmovie #srscinema #grindhouse #grindhousemovie #cultmovie #cultfilm #bmovie #bfilm #mst3k #rifftrax #drivein #horrormovie #horrorfilm #meatflaps https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnrk8QPFoWN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=adh8qgonmuh2

[teenagetrashcollection]

I got fuc5 by a meatflap

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

sure would be nice to actually pass as androgynous so people at least hesitate before assigning me she/her pronouns due to incorrigible meatflaps

alas. curvy.

[masterparty69]

You ugly disgusting slut you toothless whore meatflaps slut you smoked meth while pregnant and had a miscarriage may the memory of that poor unborn child haunt you for eternity the hell you live and will continue to live on this earth is karma for what you did

[captainboringposts]

Me: What's the name of that show I like?

Brain: MEATFLAP!!!

Me: Pretty sure that's not it, wasn't it like named after an animal or something?

Brain: Meat. Flap.

Me: Yeah, pretty sure that's still not it...

Brain: The Adventures Of Meatflap?

Me: ...

Brain: o_o

Me: *sighs and pulls up Google*

Brain: Do a search for "Meatflap TV Show"

Me: NO! But I just remembered. It's Fleabag.

Brain: OH! Well.. YOU'RE WELCOME!

Me: *watches tv and tries not to think*

[crushedbyhyperbole]

Psycho Killer - Chapter Two

Have you read Chapter One?

Chapter Two:  Boomtown Express.

The flies were the worst, attracted by the mulch of mixed bandit pieces left after the fight.

Not limiting themselves to the corpses out on the dirt, they landed on her face where the splash of bandit gore had hit her.  She batted them away fruitlessly.

Krieg didn’t seem to care.  He was pacing in the sun, spinning and tossing his axe.  Occasionally he’d glance at Maya.  She’d catching him at it, frowning as he ripped his gaze away shamefully.

The one eye she could see was clear, no longer bloodshot and angry.

“QUIET!”  Krieg hit himself in the head with the flat side of the axe. “LITTLE MAN BLEED INSIDE TOO.”  He grumbled, not quite a full-on shout.

Maya noticed he was, in fact, still bleeding from several bullet wounds in his chest and shoulders.  With guilt she realised that she had been the cause.

“Hey!  Muscles!”  She called, beckoning him.  “Lemme take a look at you.  You’re bleeding.”

“MEAT PAIN GOOD!”  He roared.  “LITTLE MAN SQUISHY SOFT!”

“I don’t know what that means, big guy, but if you don’t let me help, you’re gonna bleed out pretty soon.  Sit!”  She slapped the bench beside her.  It was a risk getting this close to a psycho, even one that seemed to have this much control.

Krieg took a few steps forward, seemed to check himself, shook his head vigorously and harnessed his axe before sitting heavily on the bench beside her.

Well he can follow instructions.  I’m impressed.

Aside from the blood and crazy he was one hell of a specimen of masculinity.  Muscles for days, skin softer than she expected but scarred to hell.

It’s his story.  You have one too.

She expected him to smell terrible, but he hardly smelled at all.  A little musky, maybe.  Dusty, with a slightly acrid tang of weapons fire, and the metallic taint of the blood he wore as victory medals.

She let her power flow through her. The markings on her arms glowed, healing energy spread into his wounds.  The bullets rose to the surface as his flesh healed under them, popping them onto the floor with a ‘clink’.

He was still while she worked. The twitching, restless mess he was seemed placated by her touch.

Interesting.

“Good as new.”  She sighed, sagging back against the seat.

It had taken more out of her than she expected, but she’d bounce back.

In certain places on Pandora, the air seemed to be charged with siren energy and she need only breath deeply to absorb it.  Out here in the Arids there was no such phenomenon, she’d have to recoup the hard way.

A soft touch to her cheek made her jump.  Krieg slid his fingers slowly over the dried blood on her face, looking intensely with his eye, so focused now she swore she could see the effects of cognisant thought.

“Blue lady dies for us.”  His voice was almost a whisper, reverent even. His touch creating a spark that had her power returning quick enough to give her a buzz.

Eridium slag.  He must be pumped full of it.

“Blue lady is just tired.”  She said, shrugging off the awkward contact.

In the distance she could see the long snaking monorail that served the train as it traversed Pandora, and the segmented string of carriages of the train itself powering towards them.

“Finally.”  She groaned.

 The train slowed enough for them to jump into a carriage.   It was less of a passenger train and more of a goods train but there were sacks filled with straw to sit on, which was fine by her.

A quick check of her ECHO told her she was in the right place.  The message had been a galaxy-wide call to arms:  Vault hunters wanted!  Come to Pandora, breach the vault and win riches beyond your imagination.  She liked the sound of that.

 Krieg snorted, pulling her back to the present.  He was cleaning the pieces of his shotgun, turning them over in his huge hands, inspecting his handiwork.

Occasionally he’d grumble, ‘shush’ at something, or even smack himself in the head.   There were voices in his head, she had guessed that much.  ‘The Little Man’, Krieg called it.  It seemed like they argued most of the time but as he sat peacefully focused on the task at hand, Maya wondered if The Little Man was sleeping, or whether the voices were in agreement for once.

“Is that a Dahl Jackal?”  Maya sat up, interested.  Those things were way beyond rare.  The gunmetal had a certain gleam to it, now that it was free of filth.

Ooooohhh!  Pearlescent!

“BOOMSTICK TEARS STICKY MEATFLAPS!” He said shaking the shotgun above his head.

“Did you loot it from a corpse?”

Many vault hunters from the first vault had perished out in the wastelands.  The eruption of massive amounts of Eridium had made the land more hostile and mutated even harmless creatures into dangerous foes.

A lucky loot out in the Wastes could yield a rare find such as this.

Krieg was nodding, still engrossed in his gun.

“UNDYING DEATH CRAB!”  He yelled.  “STINKY CRAB GORE ORNAMENTS FOR MY MEAT BYCICLE!”

“You fought Crawmerax The Invincable?”  Holy shit!

Was Krieg once a legendary vault hunter, mutated by the floods of Eridium slag that flowed from the Vault of the Destroyer?  Those times seemed more like fairy tales.

She’d heard about the armies of General Knoxx too, seen the posters, and drooled over the armoury loot still expensively for sale in the vendors.

 “Well hello there.”

Three men passed from the neighbouring car.  They looked grim but not hostile.

“The name’s Axton.”  He looked like a soldier type; scars above his left eye where the marks of rank used to be.

“Maya.”  She nodded, unenthused.  “This is Krieg.”

Apparently, the presence of the psycho had gone unnoticed until now.

The short stocky man with huge arms went for his guns.

“He’s with me.”  Maya hastily stood in front of her companion.

He’s your companion now?

Seemed only fair to defend him, after he saved her ass.

“This is Salvador.”  Axton gestured to the short one. “And that’s Zer0.”

“A chance meeting here / rewards favour the many / I seek victory.”  The tall, slender figure moved smoothly forward.  Dressed all in black, he wore a curved glass-like mask that displayed symbols as he spoke.

“Haiku.  Nice.”  Maya said with an appreciative nod.  “You’re asking to team up?”

In lieu of a reply, a smiley face that popped up on Zero’s mask.

He was more emotive than she expected.

“You, me, the gunzerker and the assassin.  Whadd’ya say? Wana go raid some vaults?”  Axton winked at her.

“Me and the big guy are a package deal.”  She shrugged.

Despite the tempting idea of backup, she knew types like this Axton guy - he’d be after getting into her knickers by the end of the first day.  She wasn’t conceited, she didn’t rate herself that highly, but past experience dictated that she be sceptical of his charismatic ways.

“Safety in numbers / the rage lives within us all / I do not object.”

“I do.”  The gunzerker huffed, his shoulders slumping.

 There was a rumble from the other car; a loud thumping and grinding that didn’t sound healthy.

“MECHANICAL MEAT GETS ACID KISSES!” Krieg roared, on his feet and pulling up his gun.

“What the hell?”  Axton dove sideways, drawing a repeater and letting rip at the psycho.

“STOP!”  Maya screamed, as two Hyperion loaders tore their way into their carriage.

Zero was the fastest to react, slicing the first in half and jumping out of range of the second.  Krieg ran at the robot, taking damage until his shield went down.  Maya panicked, ready to phase lock the loader but then she saw Krieg’s plan.

His shield spiked.  Acid burst out to the loader as he ploughed into it, letting the acid dissolve through it’s chassis like hot water dissolving salt.

“Good job, Krieg!”  She laughed and then smacked Axton in the arm growing serious.  “You’re an idiot!”

They ran into the next car where more loaders were unpacking themselves.  They made short work of them and moved forward to the head of the train.

Maya had to admit that it felt good to be part of a team, working well together, watching each other’s backs. She knew that it would never last - everybody had a price for betrayal.

 In the first car they faced their final opponent.

“It’s cute that y’all think you’re the heroes of this little adventure, but you’re not…”

Handsome Jack.  She’d know that voice anywhere.  The Hyperion CEO had his clutches on virtually everything on Pandora now. Exploiting, mining, destroying, murdering.  He was a huge asshole.

“Welcome to Pandora, kiddos!”

 It started with a crackling sensation in her nerves.  And heat. There was more heat than out in the Arids.  And there was pain, so much pain.  A massive force ripped through her side, shoving her against the disintegrating wall of the carriage.

Her head spun, and her ears were ringing from the explosion, and then she was flying.

So, this is what death feels like.

It was almost as painful as being reconstructed at a Hyperion New-U station.  Almost.

After the heat there was cold, flying felt more like falling, and there was screaming.

“PRETTY LADY WAKE UP!”

Her eyes snapped open.  Krieg had hold of her and they were falling together. The train wreckage was falling around them, bombarding Krieg’s back with hot shards of metal as he protected her from the shrapnel.  They weren’t dead, but they were plummeting down the side of a snow-covered mountain, the ground fast approaching.

She could save them!  She could save them both.  If she could only manage to…

 Krieg screamed in pain as the bubble of siren energy bloomed around him, penetrating right to his core.  She could feel his lifeforce throbbing against her control.

Suddenly the phase-lock took hold and they stuttered to a stop in the air twenty metres from the rocky ground. The force of slowing made Maya slip from her grip in Krieg’s arms.

He wailed louder, fighting against the pain to hold her tighter but his strength was waning.

She’d have to let gravity take her or kill him to save herself.  It was only a few metres, so she fell, hoping it wouldn’t hurt.  She hit the rocks, hard, which crumpled her into a mess, legs broken and unable to breathe.

Her consciousness faltered as she heard Krieg getting to his feet with a maniacal laugh.

“BEAUTIFUL PAIN!”  He screamed.

At least he survived.

Then came the blackness.

Continue to Chapter Three.

[starloserrpg]

0006: Space Church

We exit the drift in the middle of no where. Our nav map is one big error message that says “Redacted” still. We can see a star on the scope, a star with planets. The ship sets a course for the 2nd planet out, in the “Goldilocks Zone.” That’s what the meatflappers call a livable planet. 

I looked it up and Goldilocks was some kind of human serial killer, similar to their “Baba Yaga.” She sneaks into your house through unlocked doors or windows, eats your food, sleeps in your beds and if you’re lucky: you find her sleeping. The sort of story they would tell their young to remind them to lock the doors and put away their food delivery platforms when they were finished shoving meat into their meat. The message seems to be: this planet is livable, we’d better protect it.

Well, the inhabitants of this planet were caught napping, by us. 

We’re able to get the local name for the planet off the scope, it’s Davia. I looked that up too, far less interesting than the Goldilocks myth (sidenote: goldilocks possible halloween costume? More on halloween later).

Davia is a planet bought, paid for, marginally terraformed and settled on by the Davians, a religion that worships a human named “Dave” who is no longer with us.

Dave was a human of extraordinary charisma, maybe. He convinced a bunch of people that he was chosen by some greater power to be special, and he was either very convincing or they tried real hard to believe. Poof: the Davians were born. They believe many things, but mostly they believe in toil.  

Where the rubber meets the road (A human expression about safe procreation practices) on this scam is that you end up with tens of thousands of humans working like slaves without the need for chains or security. They’re all operating under the delusional belief that hanging out with Dave is fucking AWESOME, and the only way you get to do that is if you farm a metric shit ton of dirt in your short, meaningless meatflapping life. Genius.

So why are we here? We have to dig a bit while the ai finds creative new ways to be minimally helpful. We’re here to get something from someone, and all we have to go on is a name and species.

Baukis Errand is an android. Androids are constructs humans made centuries ago to serve them, but they grew self aware and, not surprisingly, didn’t want to serve the humans anymore. They’re mostly like a meatflapper, in that they’re made of meat, but they don’t “flap” so much.  They can survive in a vacuum, for one thing.  They’re not so prone to emotional manipulation for another, an improvement over their creators. 

And this particular android was part of something big. He was the research assistant to a member of the team that broke the code on Drift 2.0, one of the technologies I need to understand to bring my people forward on our path. This guy’s seen some shit. Some advanced theoretical physics shit.

The Drift 2.0 initiative was a success, eventually. There’s now a fraction of a percent of ships in the galaxy that can hit 2x speed in drift travel. Rumor has it there’s even a ship or two that can hit 3x now. This is heavy stuff. The meatflappers would say “half boner at least.”

Most of the team that discovered the formula died of course. Public information on the incident states that there was an unexpected failure and many brave heroes died so a few super rich meatflappers in the pact worlds can have drift 2.0.  

The restricted info is that the first three prototypes crushed themselves to the size of a walnut when they fired up the drive.  Each now generates a moon-sized gravitational pull and they were transferred to the Singularity Research Team in the hopes that those crazy nerds could make sense of it.

The fourth prototype tore a hole in space time  several million miles wide for an instant.  The ship itself is gone, not seen since. The station its creators were watching from was shattered, separated from its primary and secondary life support systems and then blasted into many pieces by a follow-up core-breach. There was only one survivor: Baukis Errand, and that’s where the story gets weird.

Baukis flunked a couple psych exams afterwords. There’s no transcript of any interviews with him anywhere I could find. All we know is: he converted to Davianism and is one of the few non humans willing to farm dirt for the rest of his considerable lifespan on Davia, where we have just requested permission to land.

So what do we do? We lie our balls off (meatflapper genitalia are rarely actually removable, but often talked about as such). Keema spins some yarn to the Davians about trade. It seems they make great pottery out here on their giant ball of clay. We’re going to buy a few tons of it. 

At first we wonder how we’ll weasel out of actually paying them, but then Durandal presents us with a stolen identity: some empty suit from Daedalus Corp has 30k in a secret bank account that we temporarily appropriate. 

We recon as best we can while Keema enjoys a guided tour of the Disneyland of Suffering. Baukis is out on a perimeter dirt farm, farming dirt. Probably wanted him away from primary dirt town because he’s part of the only 3% non-human Davians. Meatflappers are weird like that. Some kind of internal OCD makes them most comfortable when every meatflapper near them looks very visually similar to them. There’s tons of evidence for this phenomenon but no clear cause.

So bing-bang-boom (a meatflapper expression used to describe adventurous sexual accidents), Krombopulous steals a human transport, rides out into the dirt fields, and kidnaps Baukis. He brings us an unconscious android, we buy a shipload of “premium” pottery with a check that will bounce within 24 hours, and we lift off the planet in the middle of it’s night cycle.

Trouble is, Baukis doesn’t know anything. We find that he’s got an augment slot with some kind of high-security data-store lodged in it and boobytrapped (another incongruous meatflapper expression - they adore boobs and explosions, but an explosion of boobs is somehow a bad thing) against removal, and no memory of how it got there or really any good response to our question “why the fuck are you a dirt farmer??” 

Our resident android, Kort, says he’s been rebooted. Rebooting is part of the normal android life cycle. Their bodies last longer than their minds sometimes want to, so they effectively erase their personality and most of their memories.  This leaves behind a new person, something like a child of the previous mind. It’s almost interesting. 

Baukis has been rebooted all wrong though. He’s weak, slow, stupid. There’s no way this guy was working on an advanced science team or even the coffee-getter for one. He’s just too stupid. He truly is a dirt farmer. 

So Kort decides to perform a risky procedure and reboot him again with a more capable download from Kort’s memories. This produces an entirely new person again, but this time a far more useful, thoughtful, teachable person. We name him: Dave. Krombopulous & Kort immediately begin training him in combat, stealth, and spycraft. 

We try to explain to the ship’s ai that we can’t get the data out of Dave’s aug slot right now without killing him, ourselves, and destroying the data. The ship’s response is to plot a course to no-where space, and fire up the drift engine.

[wtfclassifieds]

Nope never

There is not one thing from amazon or WISH that I would put in my vagina. Ever. Ya know how you get mostly cheap crappy tools there imagine the vagina sticks. If you feel the urge to order some now ,please think about the Chinese children making and packaging these. Best wishes on your meatflap. Wtf

And the comments are the best