#metro run

[rooksunday]

thire gets the idea after watching a group on the senate rotunda during another long shift. he brings it to fox when fox is too tired to find a reason to say no. uggggh leave me to perish is basically an enthusiastic yes, in fox speak.

thire’s next stop is thorn.

“‘guided tours’?” thorn repeats, like the words are the name of a virulent strain of space flu. “tours of what? you know commander fox won’t have natborns in the barracks. he barely lets vode in.”

thire waved his hands dismissively. “not here. the city. the upper levels. the mids and the quarters.”

“but we don’t know anything about those places. what are you going to tell them? ‘here is where a senator threw their coffee on me.’ ‘one time i petted a tooka down this street.’”

that thorn was simply refusing to see the genius of thire’s plan was an affront. thire perched on the edge of thorn’s desk and folded his arms across his chest. he kicked thorn gently on his shin guard.

“the natties are visiting for the day, thorn. maybe a few days. but that’s all. they don’t know anything about coruscant! they’re kriffin’ coruscant shinies.” thire tilted his bucket in a grin. “you know shinies pretty much believe anything we tell ‘em. just gotta say it right.”

thire had been promoted to commander because he had the commander voice locked cold.

thorn spun his seat from one side to the other slightly as he thought. he hummed under his breath.

“we could offer one tour a day, in shiny armour. meet a group, walk them around for an hour taking osik, what are they gonna know different?” thire added, not quite wheedling.

“and you’ll be charging for this?” thorn asked.

“of course.”

thorn stopped spinning. he nodded once and held out his hand. “let me look at the rates.”

thire gestured broadly to the statue of the torgruta behind him. “and this is the original founded of bolo-ball. she was banned from playing on three worlds after dirty tackles—very gory, don’t let your kids see—and that’s why all torgruta have to wear padding on their montrals. now if you’ll follow me to—“

“excuse me—“

“—just this way, mind the speeder—“

“excuse me that’s not right—“

thire glanced at the droid following him, who had been earwigging during his tour. he gestured for his group to go ahead and waited for the droid to catch up.

“you don’t pay, you don’t get to comment,” thire said flatly.

“but your facts are incorrect!” the droid protested.

thire sighed. “they’re the facts as i know ‘em., pal. got a problem, take it up with the guild.”

coruscant had a guild of tour guides. couldn’t exhale on the blasted planet without someone charging.

“i am with the guild!” the droid said. “i’m observing your tour as part of the registration confirmation.”

kriff.

thire shifted in place. “i—“

“and for a reasonable fee of 5% net, i will gladly endorse your tour, trooper,” the droid said, proffering the pad it was holding. “coruscant rewards initiative and entrepreneurship! if you’ll sign here?”

thire grinned behind the protection of his shiny bucket. he took the pad and signed with a flourish—thank you, commander grizzer—then returned it to the droid.

“i think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship,” thire said.

[condohavenoking]

i'm curious so tell me about your blorbos and why you picked the option you did

[izzysfizzies]

🎵Let It roll of your back, and let it slip off your tongue before you lose your nerve and end up right back where you started from🎵

finally playing Postal 3... the plus side is that this game introduced me to Tokyo Rose (band) cause is the Ost is a banger and the dudes design is so good haha

[istandonsnowpiles]

Metro Above, Bike Below

[firefly--bright]

b99 au has me like this can we have some more hcs pls pls pls pl

see u get me

U ASK AND I DELIVER here is part two to the headcanons (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡ (+complimentary moodboard because I Feel Like It)

- ok so after the first date (which goes surprisingly well), you start hanging around the precinct more, and at first Connie and Sasha are ELATED because you didn't do it that often before jean. like they didn't realise that it was because you wanted to see him, sasha was just happy that you'd bring mid-day coffee to her and Connie was happy to just rant to you about how "no-one here trusts me ugh" (he's like a mix of Gina and Charles istg) and ur like mhm yeah it's totally not because you file your paperwork wrong everytime. totally, king. MHM.

- and jean usually grabs some lunch outside (which you notice!) and at this point you're not in an Established Relationship, aka you haven't had the "what are we" talk yet so it's mainly just you guys hanging out. right and eren recognises you and like jokes around with you and it pisses jean off SO BAD and eren (the little shit) KNOWS THAT. so he's just trying to get under jeans skin. and you become like this unofficial part of the family :3

- which, by the way, let's do this. who's who. Reiner is the sarge (yes he goes with the suspenders and yes eren and Connie objectify him because of his boobs). Connie and Sasha are partners because they work really well together since the beginning of Time and they're also really good at acting so they get assigned alot of undercovers. CAPTAIN LEVI it's in the name guys c'mon. hange is the autopsy..person. idk the actual name of it. but you get it. Erwin is Levi's husband and it's the whole arc of them basically adopting the precinct :) Mikasa and Armin are partners, jean and eren are also partners (most of the times) because they also work really well together. jean applied to be a lieutenant but that comes way later in the story. so hang on. for rn, tho, Armin is the lieutenant, and marco is the office assistant. ANYWAY

- right so. uhhh cue the Thanksgiving shenanigans. Levi (begrudgingly) invites the whole squad + hange, and asks everyone to bring your own dish. here's what happened

reiner ; guys ok we have to impress the captain and his husband-

eren : his name is Erwin. don't reduce him to just captain Levi's husband

jean : I don't think that's a reduction to his title

eren : stop bootlicki-

sasha : I don't know how to cook anything

Connie : she burnt the packet of ramen once.

....

Mikasa : the...the packet?

Armin : like, the plastic....covering?

sasha : mhm. I've solved alot of crimes.

Connie : yes she has

sasha : feminism isn't a joke.

jean just nods aggressively.

Reiner : right so....to avoid that... do you, can you possibly get someone to help you?

eren : YO WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIEND

jean : their friend has a nam-

eren : what about titles now, horseboy?

sasha : YES WE SHOULD. WE SHOULD ALL GO TO THEIR PLACE TO COOK BEFORE GOING TO THE CAPTAINS PLACE

Connie : IM GOING TO TEXT THEM RIGHT NOW

Reiner : right. that could work.

marco : it really won-

jean : I THINK YEAH WE SHOULD ALL GO TO THEIR PLACE. MHM. yeah I think we should..... uh. yeah.

Armin : I'm sure the captain won't mind inviting them over as well

- yeah anyways that's how. it happened. long story short your apartment almost burned down but hey atleast you got the job done! with like twenty people in your small cube of a house!

- jean is the first one to arrive at your place (for no reason, haha) and you're like "oh good ur here Im babyproofing the apartment just in case." and he doesn't question it and just helps you and tells you about his Thanksgiving stories thoughout the years and you guys connect alot and he opens up alot too :3

-anuway. HALLOWEEN HEIST IS ALSO REAL AND IT HAPPENS. and you participate. the first year is pretty mild for you, you're jeans accomplice as he tries to beat eren's team to steal the captain's cup of tea. and it's a whole Thing and you do the thing you do best - distract the captain. again, surprisingly, you get him to open up a little while jean gets in through the office's ceiling and you're talking to the captain, sweating, "oh yeah no, totally, the DMV is crazy....MHM!! the lines were so bad when I went last." anyway. at the end, eren and jean are tied, back to back to a chair while the captain (very menacingly) asks them if they're proud of what they accomplished. turns out the captain won. (i have headcanons for this too but this post is becoming too long so,,)

- enough about the squad, more about you and jean. right, so soon after Thanksgiving, the two of you finally have The Talk. after a particularly long day at the precinct, jean is slumped over his desk doing paperwork and everyone has almost already left. Connie had come over to ur place to tell you about the shitty day he had, and you fed him some dinner after that, and he fell asleep on your couch while watching a show (not an uncommon occurence) and his situation got you thinking about jean. you usually tried not to bother jean too much by sending too many messages or calling a lot, so he knows it's important when he gets a call from you. and he takes a break from work and answers and he swears you breathe life into him after he hears you ask him how he's doing. he tells you that "these muscles aren't for nothing" which gets a sigh and a laugh in return. "how long are you gonna stay at the precinct?" you ask him. "i don't know, the works never ending." he says and you've already made up your mind, taking a Tupperware of the dinner you had made, along with a thermos of coffee and head on over to the place. when you're downstairs, you call jean again and tell him to come down too and he's like "what are you doing here holy shit it's late" and you're like "yeah I could tell u the same thing. i got u sum food open up slut" and he leads you to the balcony to get some fresh air while eating (also because if he were to spill even a morsel of food on his desk after the cleaning crew had gone home, the captain would have his head on a plate. anyway. the terrace/balcony. do u see the parallels.

and you and jean get to talking, you tell him about your day and then are like "I'm sorry if I'm distracting you." "no I like the distraction. i don't mind it." and you smile but then just come out and say it "hey so what are we?" and jeans like "??? have I not asked u to be my partner yet?" and you decide to tease him a bit and are like "partner? are u recruiting me to be a detective?" "no! i mean, if that's what...your passion is, then yes, but please be safe. oh ur fucking with me. okay." and u laugh and kiss him on the cheek and he's like "no that's not gonna cut it" and then he grabs your face (GENTLY) and kisses you so softly and helplessly that you're glad he's holding your face otherwise your bones would've just fallen to the ground without structure.

uhh yes. thats all. if you'd like angst headcanons. hmu 😈 I'm not kidding this is so fun for me to think about I've been Thinking About It for like a month now

also! moodboard time!

:D

[a-fact-in-time]

A Fact in Time #3

i know this one's pretty widely known but i just wanna post this because it's june

trans rights:)

[utilitycaster]

it is entirely possible and probably likely that there is no real mighty nein massachusetts au and the caduceus cranberry bog remark was purely a joke, but I absolutely MUST ask about it on the off chance there is more to this concept

There will never be a coherent fic not in the least because I have not actually lived in New England for a decade, but:

Beau is from a wealthy suburb of Boston (in my heart I want her to be from Brookline but the vibe is further out, like Newton or something). Veth is from a not wealthy suburb of Boston, further out than Beau. I was going to say Caleb dropped out of Harvard but actually given his age at the time it should probably be some kind of Frankenstein of Boston Latin with Philips or Groton.

Caduceus is in fact from an ancient line of cranberry farmers in western Mass.

I feel like everything east of the Ashkeeper Peaks should just be like. New Hampshire and Maine, which sort of undercuts the grandeur of the Kryn Dynasty, but I'm really struggling to place Yasha and Essek in Massachusetts.

Actually for peak hilarity Essek should be from Montreal in this analogy which puts Yasha in rural Vermont or New Hampshire.

Technically I think this means Beau dropped out of College of the Holy Cross.

Obviously both Fjord and Jester are from the Cape; she is wealthy old money whose mother decided to live in the summer house all year long. He is a working class townie who is faking the accent and his native accent is just generic non-regional US. Uko'toa is real and I saw him in the Boston Harbor on a field trip in fourth grade. Veth still ends the campaign running a summer camp.

Every joke I had about Molly's death I have rejected for not being nearly funny enough to offset the incredibly poor taste it is in but most involved the violent and unhinged avian wildlife along the Freedom Trail.

Caleb crashing through the window with Cat's Claw but it's the Citgo sign

I was going to also joke that Teleport lets you summon the T after midnight but apparently it runs until 1 and possibly 1:30 now so fuck me I guess.

[thingsmysplattershotjrtoldme]

A New Goober!

An octoling that doesn't remember her name, so she just calls herself Replica after her .... "replica" Octoleet Boots and Octoshot. She's a very recent deserter of the Octarian army, at least she believes herself to be, time seems to have inexplicably passed since she escaped from when she emerged in the Splatlands.

She stole half finished gear from the trash behind Spkye's and Murch's dumping ground to fit in and hide her suction cups (that the last picture btw). Most of the clothes she scrounges up is picked specifically to hide her ears and tentacles, since she's unaware of octolings being openly accepted. She keeps her namesake boots as well as her military issued Octoshot on her at all times, to remind her of home, because even if it sucked, it was still home.....

She currently doesn't have a steady job, so plays turf with a stolen splash tag and does odd Grizzco shifts for funds. She prefers indoor or more cool maps, considering that the first time she got to the surface, she immediately got a wicked sunburn that made the weird green birthmark along her spine itch like hell

[trashgremlendoesart]

I am on the most packed train ever sitting on some very suspicious stains

[vivanightcity]

Metro rat made eye contact with me and said, “Join us. When the train comes we slide under the tracks and feel it rumble over us like a warm thunderstorm. We live forever, and we love to live.” I said no thank you, I am too large. He turned away from me and I cried.  - X

[monicracar]

Revenge for @seanseabean ! Sozosozobambambaspispis

[anglerflsh]

after you gradute will you go no contact with your parents?

After I have a stable job, absolutely. Can't sue me for abandonment of elder in need of care if I never cared in the first place

[zahri-melitor]

Okay, started Batman Eternal. What sort of metro system is Gotham running if it can have a head-on train collision like that? Why is this metro system even SHARING LINES like that?

Who designed this system that the switches could operate like that, and the drivers weren't paying attention to their approach, given they know the system?

[ziracona]

The end of Metro Last Light was so good but I was stressed out of my goddamn mind for Khan. I was like “Khan, baby, we found D6, we bombed a species to extinction, we let the word and virus get out. If we die here, we die here. It’s our debt. But you didn’t do that! You tried to stop us from hurting the dark ones, every step of the way! Please for the love of God don’t come die with all the Spartans!”

When I got hit with an rpg and he was having rangers drag me back and covering our retreat I was going crazy. On Khan like glue that whole fight trying to bodyblock bullets. And when they announce the self destruct I’m like Yeah ok that’s our job our responsibility but Khan DO NOT STAY HERE. Please go!!! My father figure trying to kill himself with me and I do not want that!!

Such a well designed fight sequence oh my god. Great vibes 10/10. Gotta say the train caught me completely off guard holy shit. Gotta respect the red line. They were no joke when it came to bravery. I was one-shot, one-killing heavy troopers with a wall piercing sniper rifle down the D6 choke point, and they just kept coming. Great turtle formation with that flamethrower. If I /hand’t/ had a really good scope that would have mowed me, and it still wasn’t easy.

Shoutout to Svet saving everyone TuT I would die for that baby. God and he called me his friend. It’s insane he even tolerates Artyom’s existence after what he did. Talk about forgiveness—Truly it’s never deserved: an act of compassion.

[oorevitcejda]

did anyone notice the spiderman that says "nowhere left to run, kid" before miles breaks out of the glass is the spiderson for metro boomin(?) its his style and the mask and braids from the album art on the official music channel on youtube