#might go over all my first year stuff cuz j kinda need to

[abstractmelons]

sad ciaran hinds literally has a gorgeous head of hair and he was forced to play a BALDING BITCH im so sorry sweetie that they would even suggest such a thing to you

[askjoshuafreeman]

transcript.file//jfreeman_codingb//convo

[Emergency Program Active]

AdminJF: Heya B-)

CodingB: ...? Allen? Where's Joshua?

AdminJF: He's still asleep, just snoozin away.

CodingB: Still a-... Isn't it... late? Why are you up.

AdminJF: Had a nightmare

AdminJF: Couldn't get back to sleep

AdminJF: Figured a lil chatting with ya could do me some good.

CodingB: ... With... me?

CodingB: Wait a moment...

CodingB: Communications are offline... I didn't think that was possible...

AdminJF: Yeaaa, boy like me's fulla tricks B-)

AdminJF: 'sides, don't think chattin with 'em would help out. They're... kinda chaotic.

CodingB: Unlike you, pizza box tearer?

AdminJF: Ey ey, I'm the FUN kinda chaotic! Those guys... eh... I know Josh trusts them. No surprise there. I mean, apart from you, they're the only peeps who MIGHT help him out... I'm still on the fence about them tho.

CodingB: I see.

CodingB: May I ask... what your nightmare was about? I do not know exactly how dreams work, but talking about what ever is making you upset tends to help.

AdminJF: Are you sure? It's... kinda dumb.

CodingB: I am all ears! And eyes! You have my full attention!

AdminJF: Right, well

AdminJF: where tf do I start...

AdminJF: I was... running in this like, industrial... plant of some kind? Like, running from something that I couldn't see? Like, that went on for a while, that I was just running and trying not to trip or crash into anything.

AdminJF: So at some point, I end up at this biiig chain link fence, like, the kind they put up in big facilities, I think. Anyways, I start climbing the thing, only to get pried off and thrown on my ass by, I guess whoever was chasing me??

AdminJF: But like, I look up at the guy, and I still can't really "see" him. Could say they looked like a shadow, but even that doesn't cover it really. That's around where I woke up and just. I dunno. Woke up about an hour ago and I've been too anxious to head back to sleep...

CodingB: ... I can't say I blame you exactly. An event like that, dream or not, would stress anyone, I'm certain. Until you've calmed down sufficiently, I don't think sleep will be possible...

AdminJF: Yeah, well, all the more reason to chat, right?

CodingB: I suppose so. Had you any topics in mind?

AdminJF: Oh Yea yea

AdminJF: ... No. I really don't.

CodingB: Ah. Then... could I ask you something?

AdminJF: Shoot.

CodingB: ... What is it like out there? Past the screen, I mean. Out in the sun. Out in the grass...

AdminJF: Ah shit... I'm really the wrong dude to ask but uh

AdminJF: It's... fine? No no uh... It... gives you something to do. Sun can get pretty hot down here but it's a helluva lot better than being cold in like, the snow and shit. Josh's been complaining that it's getting colder when... it hasn't? Like, I would know, I'm p sensitive to temperature shifts yo, but it's just been as hot as ever.

AdminJF: Uh, back on topic

AdminJF: Grass is... pretty soft, gives off a nice smell after it's cut. Uh... worms live in the dirt grass grows in...

CodingB: Oh, worms?

AdminJF: Yea, not like computer worms, but uh, little... long slimey things. They eat dirt and filter out the bad stuff so the ground stays healthy and all that.

AdminJF: Birds and lizards and fish like to eat them but I wouldn't recommend it.

CodingB:

CodingB: Allen, did you-

AdminJF: No!

AdminJF: Classmate back in primary did tho

AdminJF: Dared himself to cuz there was a bunch out after it rained and then uh

AdminJF: Y'know what, let's talk about something else.

CodingB:

CodingB: Well, um, do you think I'll ever get to see out there?

CodingB: Like, leave the device and go outside?

AdminJF: Knowing Joshua? Without a doubt. He's prob already working on the blueprints.

CodingB: ... Really?

AdminJF: Pfft, of course! You've met the guy! He's too kindhearted for his own good. J will stop at nothing to help others, even at his own detriment. I mean, case in point: He's friends with me.

CodingB: ... What's wrong with being friends with you?

AdminJF: Ha!

AdminJF: Ah...

AdminJF: Look, I... back when we first met, Josh saw this hungry, pale as death, angry and antisocial freak around his age and, instead of avoiding him like everyone else, sat down right next to him and offered half of his lunch.

AdminJF: I've been through 5 different fosters since he and I first met, CB. Five houses that all took me in and gave me the boot before I could even get comfortable. Within that time, the only other friends I've made apart from him are Clera and Tiff, and the only reason Tiff's our friend is because she and Cler started dating months ago.

AdminJF: I mean, hell, just yesterday, I

AdminJF: shit

CodingB: ?

AdminJF: ... Can you... keep a secret, CB?

CodingB: My lips are sealed, Allen. Is everything alright?

AdminJF: ... I... I lied to Josh, about me running off. About how my folks were mad and I needed to get away from the house for a bit.

AdminJF: The truth is that they... They kicked me out.

CodingB: They?? What!?

AdminJF: Yesterday past-noon, few hours after lunch, not-pops plopped my schoolbag on me, told me to shove as much of my shit in it as I could, and just told me to "get lost". Figured he was joking and I just stared at him cuz, like, why the hell would I think he was serious? But, looking at his face...

AdminJF: So then I said "Let me pack my suitcases while you call the agency" cuz that's how it normally went when my Fosters got sick of me, but mfer pulls me up and goes all "We want you out of here NOW" and tells me that I have ten minutes to fill my bag.

AdminJF: ... And he, uh, really did mean 10 minutes. They weren't lying about that part...

CodingB: Oh my god... That's horrible. They do not deserve to call themselves "parents" of any kind! Are you hurt? Are you okay?

AdminJF: I

AdminJF: I don't know why shit like this still shocks me, y'know? I should be used to it all, and I am for the most part but...

AdminJF: I guess a part of me was thinking that... Things were going well! Things were going better than any of the other families I'd been in! I was with them for almost a full year, like, a month away from it even, and sure, I might've been a bit of an ass sometimes, but they...

AdminJF: Tensions were kinda mounting for the past month or so, I guess, but I didn't notice it until this bs happened. Now most of my shit is in a home I'm not welcome in anymore, the agency probably won't be checking in for another month or so, and I have no goddamn idea what I'll do if Mrs. Freeman comes back and tells me I can't stay here. I'm completely shit outta luck.

CodingB: Allen, I'm so sorry...

CodingB: ... I'm sure... Josh and his mother, they won't leave you on your own like that. You said yourself that Josh is very very kind, for better or for worse. It doesn't matter what you might think about yourself, Allen, you do not deserve to be hurt in any way.

AdminJF:

AdminJF: Christ I spilled my guts like hell

AdminJF: Just one of those fucking

AdminJF: "3am! Time to vent!"

CodingB: Allen, please.

AdminJF: Maybe I could try going back to sleep now...

CodingB: Allen, wait!

CodingB: I. Before you go, please, I

CodingB: Maybe... could you keep a secret of mine too?

AdminJF:

AdminJF: Eh, it's only fair, fine. Go right on ahead.

CodingB: Alright! Alright!

CodingB: I... I'm terrified. Of failing Joshua.

CodingB: Of ending up trapped in this computer for who knows how many more years.

CodingB: Of finally getting out, and... and it all being worse than being trapped in here.

CodingB: Heck, I'm terrified at the thought of it being everything I could've ever dreamed of, so much so that I never want to return to the computer. I... I wouldn't be helpful anymore if that happened...

CodingB: Jeez... am I even helpful where I am now? Apart from keeping the firewall up, what good have I really done to help Joshua or his father?

CodingB: I cannot express to Joshua how... how deeply frightened I am at the thought of him never coming back. That thought haunts my every waking hour when he is not here, and I don't know how to get it to stop. It makes me feel as though I'll crash my entire programming and I hate it so much.

AdminJF: Damn... CB, you know, even just keeping a firewall up is a helluva task all on its own, and it's doing a crapton of good, too. Files are still up and the computer isn't a smouldering pile of viruses now is it?

AdminJF: Besides, even without all of that, you've still helped Josh, like, endlessly. You've supported him a bunch and I know for a fact that you've helped him to feel better about this whole ordeal. Like, he chats about you for HOURS the second you come up in a convo, yo. The minute he gets the chance to, I know he's gonna get you out of there, and, knowing your ingenuity, you're gonna find thousands o' ways to help out.

AdminJF: But... I ain't gonna lie and tell you those feelings are gonna go away. Not on their own. Needs time and reassurance. Until all of this is over and done with and even maybe a good few years afterwards, you're probably gonna still have that fear.

CodingB: Ah... I see... I don't suppose it is normal though, is it?

AdminJF: Nah. I know that first-hand... But hey, we've both made it this far despite all the bullshit we've been through, right? World's not gonna get ridda us that easily.

CodingB: ... Even with the terror I feel, am I still brave enough to face the world?

AdminJF: I'd say the world oughta learn to start being afraid of you, cuz there's nothin' braver than continuing to live even when you're scared to death.

CodingB: ... Thank you. Thank you so very much.

AdminJF: Heh, all in a day... night's work...

AdminJF: Think the both of us could use some rest. Quiet our minds fo' a bit.

CodingB: Heh, agreed... See you tomorrow in that case. Er, well, today. At a later hour.

AdminJF: Yeaaa, see ya then, CBot. Sleep well.

CodingB: You too! May your dreams be filled with nothing scary!

[Emergency Program Inactive]

ampd.program deactivated. Returning to error log...

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #211

"i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink, but now i'm insecure and i care what people think."

What is your favorite time of day? Morning. What is your third favorite color? Ummm maybe peach. Do you care what others think of you? In most contexts, very much so. How would you dress, if you were the opposite sex? Same style I do now, really. Though not tank tops and dance pants; I'm sure I'd mostly wear loose band or graphic tees and sweatpants. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think I might? I believe it was a blue one where the keyboard slides out from the bottom. Small and square-ish. What do you do to maintain your eyebrows? Nothing. What was the naughtiest thing you did when you were a child? I bit my sister's back so hard that I made her bleed, lmao. Sorry Ash. What, in your opinion, is the most thirst-quenching drink? COLD WATER. Who is your favorite character from Alice in Wonderland? Cheshire cat. Name the closest body of water to where you live: Atlantic Ocean. What do you like to put on toast? Light layer of butter and then cinnamon and sugar. The true cinnamon toast. Do you like art? Of course. How about theater? I don't have too much of an opinion... other than it has potential to be incredibly cheesy. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. She's way more than that, and we talk every day. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Loads of stuff. What was the last thing you bought? With my own money, I don't have a clue. Have you ever been considered popular? No. Your signature perfume? I don't have one. Favorite undersea creature? Sea turtles, seahorses, jellyfish... Describe your room with just 5 words. Small, crowded, zoo, artsy, and... idk. Favorite type of chocolate? Milk. What types of things would you plant in a garden? If I actually wanted one, lots of flowers. Maybe tomatoes because fresh tomatoes + bacon and mayonnaise sandwiches are fucking incredible. Favorite attraction at a carnival? Ferris wheel. What toys did you play with as a child? Plastic animals, Pokemon figures, and stuffed animals were common. Oh yeah, I loved Lincoln Logs too. What types of music do you listen to? Various kinds of metal and rock as well as indie. What, without fail, makes you cry? Mufasa dying lmao. What makes a movie really enjoyable for you? A cool plot. Usually fantasy elements. Favorite way to decorate a cake? *shrugs* What gift(s) did you get for your birthday last year? I don't remember. What do you daydream about the most? My future. Name a game you are really good at. Shadow of the Colossus probably, but considering how infrequently I play games now, I'm sure I'm nowhere near as good as I used to be. Whenever I get a PS4 and the remake tho, I'm getting that goddamn white Agro. I never did the timed challenges before, but I think I could do it. What kinds of snacks do you munch on? I don't really have snacks anymore; I try to keep them out of the house so I'm not tempted. If anything though, it'll probably be some kind of chip. What emotionally exhausts you? Socializing. What accessories would come with a doll version of you? A laptop, iPod, and medication lmao. Favorite thing to do when it’s night time? Sleep? I've sure grown into a fun person. How do you like to bathe/shower? With hot-ish water. The most childish part of your personality? I absolutely hate chores. Favorite type of fantasy creature? Dragons. Do your arms move when you walk? I... actually don't know and can't even visualize how I walk right now. Favorite photo search engine? Google. Are there such things as stupid questions? Depends on your age and some other factors, I guess. Do you celebrate April Fools Day? No. I hate it, honestly. Do you doggie paddle or actually swim in a pool? Both. How do you cure boredom? I'd love to fucking know. I'm always bored. Ankle socks or knee-highs? Ankle socks. Do you know how military time works? Yes, but I can't comprehend the time immediately if it's passed 12. What’s your daily routine? Wake up, check the time, use the bathroom, have breakfast, feed my cat, sit on the laptop doing nothing, maybe or maybe not have a nap at some point, shower if I need to whatever time I feel like, also brush my teeth at some random point during the day (unless I have to go somewhere; then I'll do it before I leave), eat dinner, feed the other pets, and go to bed. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? I literally yelled "HOLY SHIT, I THINK I SEE A SHARK!" when we were all in the car driving over a bridge and I swear I saw a fin in the water, lmao. Mom was. Not happy. Ever made a snow angel? Yes. Are you short or tall for your age? I'm average. At what age did you learn the Pledge of Allegiance? Idk, early elementary school. What’s the longest you’ve gone without food? When my appetite was like non-existent and I lost a shitload of weight, I think I almost went a full 24 hours. What do you think about most? What's stressing me out. Are you honestly a good person? I don't think I'm a bad one. Where would you like to be buried? I'd rather be cremated. Do you use Bing or Google? Google. Last song you listened to? "Damage" by Fit For Rivals. Last movie you watched ALL the way through? The Shining. Howwww had I not seen it sooner. Last thing you wrote down? The time I was meeting with my job coach on the calendar. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? Detective Pikachu. What is ONE thing your fridge or pantry ALWAYS needs? My day will feel so off if I don't have one Mtn. Dew Voltage. Do you believe more in luck or hard work? That's a good question. Sometimes you can work your ass off and yet reap inadequate - or any - rewards, while some people pick up a lottery ticket once in their life and are suddenly a millionaire. Life's not fair, kids. But I like to think hard work usually prevails. Do you have any metal on or in your body right now? Piercings. What is your favorite thing to eat with dip? Plain chips with sour cream dip... yum. Do you consider yourself a heartbreaker? Nope. Who was the last person to tag a picture of you? Who even knows. I don't get tagged in pictures because I'm never with people to take and tag me in any lmao. Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. Is there someone you always, secretly hope will talk to you? It's not a secret that I want to talk to Jason ONE last time to apologize on MY end. What was your first favorite band? Backstreet Boys. Are you friends with any bands? A local band, yeah; their guitarist is an old friend. Do you stay up ridiculously late for no reason? Very very rarely now. What’s your life motto? Idk, I've never really thought about it. Last year for school, we had an assignment where we had to choose a popular song to write a story based on. What song would you’ve picked? A popular song? Oh boy, idk. I don't really know what's popular that I like... Well, guess I'll think of old songs I know were. Um... Oh well I love writing sad shit, so maybe "Runaway Love" by Ludacris ft. Mary J. Blige. I already had an RP plot that was kinda inspired by it lmao. Do you like 3OH!3? If I said I wouldn't belt "'CUZ I'M A VEGETARIAN AND I AIN'T FUCKIN' SCARED'A HIM" at a club at 2 in the morning I'd be lying. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? No. Do you have a long driveway? No. Anyone’s grave you visit, regularly? No. Who was your first kiss? First person who kissed me was Juan, first mutual kiss (which I consider my "real" first) was with Jason. What was it like? Were you disappointed? Juan's kiss I didn't want, and it made me confused at the time. I had no clue how I felt about him back then. With Jason, it was incredibly sweet. I was lucky to get like a fairy tale one and not a horribly awkward memory lmao. Do you have an older brother? If so, what’s he like? Yeah. He's super super intelligent and a deep thinker. Very mature and has a great sense of humor. Are you confident? hunty- Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Yes. Who do you want around you when you’re afraid? More than anyone, Mom. Had separation anxiety as a kid, obviously grew out of it, but if I'm seriously scared, I want my mom's presence. Like if I'm sick (I'm petrified of vomiting alskdfjaowie) or we're having risky weather, stuff like that, I want her with me. Have you ever mistaken something’s shadow for something else? Probably at some point. Indie, rock, electronic, techno, dubstep, or ‘crunk’? The hell is "crunk" music. Rock. Do you know how to read a map? I have no clue 'cuz I've never actually used a real one. Have a friend that looks JUST like a celeb? Not off the top of my head. Are you good at basketball? I used to be, but I haven't played in forever. It was probably my favorite sport that I ever played. Or softball. Are you friends with anyone missing one of their five senses? Not that I know of. How many times have you moved in your lifetime? Three. Are you good at Pac-Man? I was never exceptional. I haven't played it in yeeeaaars. Have you ever been called 'jail bate’? No. Have you ever been seriously addicted to anything? Technology oops like I barely know how to function without it, sadly. Ever lied to get out of going somewhere with someone? Yes. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. Do you like to eat pasta? Yes. Do you enjoy wine? Most bitter shit in the world. Noooooooot a fan. How long have you been driving? I've had my permit since senior year of high school (I think senior???), but I still don't have my license. What’s your lawyer’s name? N/A What’s the last thing you watched on Netflix? Good question. Do you play any video games? The only one I play regularly is World of Warcraft; it's the only "ongoing" game I play. Why were you last in the hospital? My sister got into a wreck. Would you ever get a face tattoo? Possibly something small and subtle, but I doubt it. Have you ever gambled? No. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I split a hot dog entirely in half in the microwave because I thought it'd take much longer to warm up than it actually did. Do you read other people’s survey answers on here? Sometimes. Do you agree with the saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder?’ With my experience with Sara, yes. Do you know any transgender people? I knew someone who like... swapped back and forth five thousand times. Then one of my friends had a transgender "phase," if it's appropriate to call it that. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? Don't think so. In the morning, do you eat breakfast first or brush your teeth first? Eat. Why would you eat RIGHT AFTER brushing your teeth. What sort of window coverings do you have in your living room? Blinds. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? A year and a half. What’s the name of the amusement park closest to your house? Uhhh I think Busch Gardens in Virginia? Do you like The Rolling Stones? Yeah. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on? A plane ticket. Can you read tarot cards? No. What is the last non-fiction book that you read? I have zero clue. Do you prefer lemons or limes? Lemons. Do you prefer peppermint or spearmint? I don't think I even taste the difference. Have you ever written a special note in a book? Yeah, I did in a book Jason lent me. Turns out it's a bad idea to write in pen a lil love letter on the back of the front cover to a book that was also for collection purposes lmao, but he wasn't mad. Would you rather have a house exterior made from wood, brick, or stucco? I like wood aesthetically, but I think eliminating wood housing would be a good idea, so brick. Brick also makes me feel safer. What is your favorite candy bar? Those big rectangle Reese's ones with individual blocks. I fucking love them. Have you ever thrown up in public? I know at least one occasion in I believe kindergarten where I did on the classroom floor, oof. Pepsi or Sprite? I hate Pepsi and I'm not a Sprite fan either, but if I had to, I'd drink the latter. How many video games do you own? We have an old CD case just about full of them. Have you ever stripped? No. Even if you are not Christian or never celebrated Christmas, do you think you will raise your (possible future) children to believe in Santa Clause? Why or why not? I don't want kids, but if I did, I probably would. It's just a magical, fun thing as a kid. Who has the most interesting phone cover you know or what was the most interesting one you have come across (in store or online)? Sara has a really cute chameleon one. Would you rather play a game such as World of Warcraft, League of Legends, or an app/Facebook game (Candy Crush, Bejeweled)? Y'all know. What’s the most amount of messages you either woke up to on a social media site or your phone? Idk, not a lot. When you have nightmares, do they normally have the same theme (ex. always being killed) or do they just relate to something going on in your life at the moment/random? They're very commonly either with me dying or about to be raped. Some surveys ask if you ever stepped in dog poop. However, have you ever stepped in animal pee? Yup. When’s the last time you or someone else has overstayed their visit? Whenever Girt last came over forever ago. He always does lmao. Have you ever consumed a full bottle of liquid medicine in one shot? Is there ANY medication you can actually do that with and not die???? Have you ever had a hamster? Yes. If you had a choice, would you rather eat chicken or beef? Chicken. What was your favorite birthday cake like? I don't remember any specifically. Would you prefer bacon or sausage? Tough call, but probably bacon. How many books have you read in the past YEAR? Zero. Do you type with all of your fingers, like you are taught in school? Yes. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? No, grosses me the hell out. At what age were you the most physically attractive? The least? During high school; 2016. If you intend to get married, what are you looking forward to/dreading about wedding planning? I think planning the vows will be fun (I don't want references to God, fuck saying my dad has to "give me away," etc.) as well as the theme, and then I don't think I'm dreading anything about planning. Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? Mom. What is the craziest thing you have done to lose weight? I haven't done anything "crazy." Which parent do you most resemble? Idk. What is the best job you’ve ever had? Never had one I liked. How do you feel about monogamy as a whole? It's definitely what I find to be the better option. You're minimizing the risk of spreading STDs, and plus I personally see love as a one-on-one thing, not open to multiple. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? Probably some life lessons from my favorite teacher. Have you ever lived alone? Do you prefer living by yourself or with someone else? No. I never want to live alone. Do you and your friends ever talk about your sex lives? I don't have a friend to discuss that with, but I also don't have a sex life. Has anyone ever criticized your appearance? What did they say and how did you take it? Yeah. It was typically about my piercings or how I dressed (particularly ripped skinny jeans), and neither of those ever got to me. I love my piercings and style. How common is it for you to get jealous in romantic or platonic relationships? It's rare. When someone asks you about your number of sexual partners, do you include oral sex partners? I probably would if there was anyone who fit that criteria but I wasn't "fully" sexual with. It's still sexual. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. What is the most serious injury you’ve ever sustained? When I passed out onto my chin and ended up with a really deep cut, broke multiple teeth, and got a concussion. What were the best and worst interviews you’ve ever had? What made them so good/bad? None stand out for either end of the spectrum. List three people you’ve had crushes on. Just to make it interesting, I'll name people I had crushes on but never dated. Sebastian, Kyle, and Mini. How old were you when you were first head over heels in love? 16. Has loving someone ever made you miserable? Boy, have you heard about my Historical Breakup? How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? They used to be easy 10s, but now that BC helps me, I'd say the worst are like... rarely 7-8s. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No. What is the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced? I 110% should've been under anesthesia when I got an infected cyst drained. I wanted to fucking die to get it over with. Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it? No. Did your school allow you to have pain medicine on you? I think so? I do know you couldn't share it, though. Do you ever comfort eat? I get the urge to when I'm depressed, but I stopped doing it. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? Pills and not being with a man. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yes. What gender do you identify as? Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No. Can you still wear clothes from the children’s section? Pf, hell no. Are you lonely? Very. Do you have allergies? Yes. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? However old I was in 5th grade when we had family life class. Do you take vitamins? Only one I'm prescribed for for vitamin D. Do you like fantasy better than reality? Yep. Have you ever contemplated suicide? Yeah. Have you ever self-harmed? Yes. How many people have you known who were suicidal? Multiple, sadly. What’s your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My acquaintance has an absolutely beautiful daughter. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I have no clue. I don't really know pricey brands that don't have the ugliest shit. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? One. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? One, yes. She's a family friend now. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? Black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Ever take Melatonin supplements to help you go to sleep? When I used to have AWFUL insomnia, it was the only way I could sleep. Do you like burning candles or incense? Incense especially. Ever throw a pair of your shoes in the washing machine? How did they come out? Not that I remember. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? No. Do you like to wear shorts or capris in the summer? No. I hate my legs, nor do I regularly shave. Does your phone have a keyboard, touch screen, or neither? Touch screen. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? Emo. Were you obsessed with the Spice Girls back in the day? Obsessed, no, but I liked them. Have you ever had an encounter with the paranormal? Yes. Would you do your own surgery so keep yourself alive? (ex. stitches) I mean yeah, if I had no choice. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? An ear piercing got an infection once. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Would you ever work for Google? I mean, I don't see why not? Do people that are ungrateful for everything bother you? Immensely. Are you popular on any websites? No, not really. If you ruled the world, what is the first law that you would make? Probablyyyy the banning of at least single-use plastics, but hopefully plastics as a whole if doable. When was the last time you played jump rope? Not since being a kid, probably. Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? I can't do ANYTHING if someone is. Do you know anyone who has had a heart attack under 30 years of age? No. If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? If I found something that didn't look dangerous, yeah, in order to survive. When is the last time you had your vision checked? Like two months ago. When is the last time you had your hearing checked? Some time last year when I had that whole ordeal with my ears. Do you know your blood type? It's A-. Do you donate blood/platelets/plasma/etc.? No, I don't drink enough water. Ever been in the emergency room? Way more times than I like. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Do you own any Burt’s Bees products? No. Dr. Pepper or Root Beer? Dr. Pepper. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? I have one of Mom I took for a photography course of her laughing, and I fucking love it. She rarely laughs. Dad, I'm not sure. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? No. Favorite flavor of cream cheese? ... It has flavors? Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? Yeah; they're at the top of a cabinet in the living room. Is there an ice cream flavor you don’t like? Of ones I've tried (I'm not very adventurous with food), I loathe strawberry. What’s the raunchiest thing you’ve ever stumbled upon? I don't know, don't wanna know. I steer clear of that side of the Internet. Hm, it was probably something on dA that had a mature content filter that I looked at anyway because it had an intriguing name. That site can have some wild-ass shit. How rude is it to snap your fingers at a waiter or waitress? Have you done it before? That is incredibly rude. They're not dogs. I've never done that. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep shit and philosophy. Discuss interesting, unorthodox topics. Show me you have an open mind. What is the first meme you remember seeing? BOY, I don't know. Maybe Overly-Attached Girlfriend? Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? Duffel bag. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite font? Out of the default options, Garamond. Favorite fairy tale? Fucking FIGHT ME if you say Shrek isn't one. Forget the memes and such, I genuinely love the movies. Favorite tradition? By this point in my life, we don't really follow any traditions... but I do know as a kid I would NEVER let Mom forget we had to make "reindeer food." When a Christmas light show was still here, we would also go there and grab hot chocolate and chocolate-covered peanuts. I miss that. Talent you’re proud of having? I think I'm an above-average writer. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz. :') Any good luck charms? Nope. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Cranberry. Least favorite pattern? Uhhh... I'm not big on animal print. Favorite potato food? Fries my man. Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? FAIRY LIGHTS. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Two lmao. Favorite historical era? The Renaissance. What are some must-have Google Chrome extensions? If you don’t use Chrome, how about on other internet browsers? AdBlock. What piece of stand up comedy (10 minutes or less) has successfully made you cry with laughter? Oh boy, a lot. I love stand-up. What little “Easter Eggs” on websites do you love? If you don’t have one on a website, how about in a game, TV show, or movie? Boy, got plenty in games. The secret Silent Hill 4 replica room in Silent Hill: Downpour I especially love; I had no idea it was in the game 'til I played it and found it myself. Then the butterfly barrel in the PS4 remake of Shadow of the Colossus in reference to The Last Guardian is awesome. World of Warcraft's Robin Williams genie tribute is lovely as well. Besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don’t want anyone to know? Nothing. What GIF reduces you to hysterical laughter every time? Don't know about every time. What things that are legal do you think shouldn’t be? Smoking, but I understand why we can't do that now. What is the closest you have ever been to a major historical event? Idk. What is a skill someone can learn in 6 months that will impress employers on a resume? Microsoft Office programs. What are some meals that are simple to make, but easy to impress people with? Idk. I know nothing of cooking. What bizarre celebrity encounters have you had? None. What is your favorite picture on the whole internet? Oh don't make me go through my Pinterest of Mark pictures. What is a “dirty little (or big) secret” about an industry that you have worked in, that people outside the industry really should know? N/A What is the most outlandish (hilarious, surprising) thing you have ever seen go down in public? OKAY SO one day otw home from my psychiatrist appointment, there was a man dressed in horrid drag walking on the side of the highway in the middle of winter. It was. An experience. If you met someone who has never heard music before (born deaf or what have you), what music would you introduce to them first? Gentle, soothing instrumental things. Like let's listen to the soft SotC pieces, please. What’s a little-known site you think everyone should know about? I don't really know of any. What is a MUST SEE movie that is highly overlooked and is on Netflix? If you don’t have a Netflix, just say in general. Johnny Got His Gun. What quote gives you chills every time you hear or read it? From Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs: "I have stood knee-deep in mud and bone and filled my lungs with mustard gas. I have seen two brothers fall. I have lain with holy wars and copulated with the autumnal fallout. I have dug trenches for the refugees; I have murdered dissidents where the ground never thaws and starved the masses into faith. A child's shadow burnt into the brickwork. A house of skulls in the jungle. The innocent, the innocent, Mandus, trod and bled and gassed and starved and beaten and murdered and enslaved. This is your coming century! They will eat them, Mandus, they will make pigs of you all and they will bury their snouts into your ribs and they will eat your hearts!" Not even mildly exaggerating, I get coooovered in goosebumps every time I come to that point in the game. I just read it twice lmao. When was the last time you bitched someone out? A while back I lost it on Mom about Dad and his wife. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. Are you afraid of plane rides? No, not really. Do you like unique or common names? Unique. Have you ever made a turkey dinner all by yourself? As if. Do you prefer running or yoga? Yoga. What continent would you most like to visit? Africa. Who do you wish you were dating? I'm happy with who I'm dating. What did you always want to do as a kid but were never allowed to do? Hm. I'm sure there's something... What is your favorite ice cream topping? Hot fudge. Is your Bible falling apart? I don't have one. Would you rather have a tail, fin, or wings? Wings. If you live in an apartment, is your landlord mean? N/A What products do you sell, if applicable? None. Is abuse in your past? No. Is there trauma in your past? Yes. Do you know anyone who’s been raped? I don't believe so, thankfully. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? New Yorker. What was the last thing you watched on Youtube? Watched and not just listened to, it was an 8-BitRyan gaming vid. Do you know anyone who had a kid before they were financially stable? Probably half the people I know or more. But I think that goes for everyone. What’s your phone’s wallpaper picture? Darkiplier rip. Have you read any of Shakespeare’s works other than Romeo and Juliet? Yeah - Beowulf and Macbeth. Maybe Hamlet? Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? My purse. Why did you move to where you’re living now? We got evicted and had to find something cheaper. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I sincerely don't care, especially if there is damage on the person's state. Like if you're suicidally depressed or very sick in another way and have to go out, don't be a fucking ass and force them to do something that can legitimately be hard for people just to appease the standards society set. A basic rule to me is never make assumptions or ask why they're in their pj's. I do it a lot, depending on where I'm going. Like you have clothes on at least, why the hell does it matter. What’s something you’re really bad at compared to others? Math. Knowing the names of cars. Giving directions and knowing where I even am in comparison to everything else. Do you know anyone who treats retail/restaurant employees poorly? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO I but she's been removed from my life. When was the last time someone betrayed your trust? What happened? Idk. But I can say with near certainty aforementioned friend posted our entire last convo on Facebook as she'd done previously, so there's that. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom usually does. What are some odd habits you have relating to food/eating? I hate eating biscuits in front of new people because I dissect mine to parts, lol. Like I open it and eat what's in it individually, the bread being the last. Do you like Oregon Trail? I love that shit. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? A house. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? Stem. Do you believe in the “innocent until proven guilty” idea? Depends. Not always. Do bats frighten you? No, I love bats!!! What’s a song that reminds you of your special someone? THERE'S SO MANY!!!! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah. Are you a KPOP fan? No. Do you believe in the phrase “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be”? Nope, bullshit. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? June 2018. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I have to actually be romantically interested in you. Well, to kiss you on the lips. Kissing family on the cheek and such is different. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. Will you keep your last name when you get married? No, please take that shit away. Where was the last place you held hands at? I'm not sure. If you could live in any home on television what would it be? BITCH take me to the Addams' Family home. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? Mostly universal. Like just to give an example, some Christian religions forbid eating shellfish, so while avoiding shellfish is moral to you, is it really immoral to eat it? Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No. It's just... so inhuman. Regardless of what one has done, never lose your grip on being one. Be a moral human being. Don't succumb to that evil. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teaching. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? No, thank Christ. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. What’s your favorite horror movie? I really love both The Blair Witch Project films, The Shining definitely joined the top tier when I watched it recently, and The Crazies is great, too. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd say it's normal. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? Oh boy, who knows. One of the billion things Colleen said and did. Something you feared as a kid but don’t fear anymore? Taking the last answer because it's like the #1 thing: death. It's inevitable, and immortality seems horrible. I just hope I go with the least pain possible. What is your opinion on girls who become obsessed with their boyfriends? lmaooooo been there sweetie, don't do it. Are you biracial? No. What’s the most unique pet you’ve owned? My champagne ball python. Do you have a fence? On either side and at the back of the house. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Just my psychiatrist. I feel bad for not including Dad, but nightmares fucked me up hard. Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? No. Do you still have your tonsils? Yep. Do you think making out is slutty? ... No...? Well, at least if you're in a relationship and love the person. Just casually doing it, quite honestly yes, I think it's slutty.

[gneissmica]

Ok, so, I almost never post anymore, barely spend time on Tumblr at all actually, but I'm SO EXCITED and I don't really have anyone I get to just babble happily to right now but it needs to escape somewhere so, screaming into the void it is.

My husband and I have been together for almost a decade, married 6 years. Nonmonogamous in theory but not often in practice, because we had a kid right after getting married and between work and parenting didn't have enough energy left over for each other, let alone anyone else.

When we finally started getting back into the swing of things, it was rough. Had to relearn the communication skills necessary for polyamory, and because I have trauma from a prior abusive relationship it was difficult. I have a habit of being overly cautious of other people's emotions, and afraid of causing them to have negative emotions.

Little over a year ago I had a fling with a friend of ours. My husband got jealous, and asked if I'd be willing to slow things down while he got the hang of processing his jealousy. I agreed (easy enough, it was a long-distance thing with someone I briefly got to visit on vacation. so really it would have slowed down anyways). But with the distance, it fizzled, and I didn't have anyone nearby that I was interested in. Part of the issue, I thought, was that the person I had the fling with was a mutual friend. I also, through this time, am kinda low-key crushing on another friend from half the country away, but I don't pursue it.

Months pass, covid hits. We move nearer our friends - 3 hours drive away instead of a 6 hour plane ride. I'm still crushing on that friend, still not pursuing it, nervous about how to bring up the subject, to reaffirm that we're still polyam, to discuss boundaries and expectations. So I don't bring it up. I keep telling myself 'soon', keep choking, because with all the stress, the move, the isolation, the living conditions, I can't muster up the courage.

Then my husband tells me about a woman he's interested in. I tell him he should go for it. He falls hard. He's like a teenager, giddy infatuated and it's ADORABLE. And I'm thinking, I should bring it up now. But my mind makes small risks seem terrifying, and I delay just a few days.

The day I decide I'm ready to discuss whether he can cope with me having relationship with someone he's good friends with, we're snuggling in bed. I open my mouth to speak. He speaks first. "So, anyone you're interested in?" I turn bright red, and squeak out, "I've been crushing on K." Without a moment's hesitation, he answers, "Oh, that's good! You should go for it!"

One conversation down, one to go. Because while there's been what might pass for mild flirting, I've been doing my best not to let on. Cuz I don't want to make the friendship go weird, if it's not reciprocated.

That day was a hard fucking day. That conversation was the only party of it that hadn't sucked completely. That night I'm on Zoom with a friend, C, and we're chatting, I'm telling him about my very rough day, and he says "I want you to tell me one good thing that happened today." And it's like a curse, if I'm asked a direct question, I give an honest answer. I can't not. So I turn bright red and tell him what J, my husband, asked, and that I told him who I had a crush on. C teases, in a good-natured way, and asks who, and I don't answer, so he starts listing names of our friends. "N?" "No." "D?" "God no." "K?" and I turn so red I can hear the blood rushing through my ears.

He totally ships it. He teases, a little, but also gives advice. Good advice.

J and I along with our daughter have plans to visit our friends 3 hours away over the weekend. I decide I'll broach the subject with K then, in person, when we have a chance to be alone.

We don't have a chance to be alone. We hug, like friends (maybe a little closer and definitely a little longer), lean on each other, sit close. But everyone wise is always there. Finally, 10 minutes alone, and I

Fucking

Freeze.

I can't get words out. I'm a shy, nervous teenager again.

He goes home, J and I crash at D's house, and the next day we go to K's house. Again, no moments alone. I start thinking, just ask him to go talk privately. The words don't come out. I message C. Tell him I'm a wimpy coward. He tells me 'write him a do you like me check yes or no note' I send him a grumpy gif. And I type out a message in notepad. Edit, revise, copy it to messenger. And sit there, so glad my mask covers my blush, for a full minute before hitting send.

"So I get super nervous about stuff like this (which is really fucking embarrassing by the way) but I know I'd regret it if I didn't say something. And I can't seem to get the words out verbally but I've been interested in you for awhile, not sure if it's reciprocated but if so I'd like to see where things lead. If not, no big, not gonna make it weird."

And he doesn't check his phone. I wait. Then tell him, K, check your phone. The message didn't go through. He needs to reset his router. He does that, all the whole I'm sitting there with my hands shaking and my heart thundering in my ears, and then

"100% yes lol I've been looking for the way to bring it up for awhile now, but also nerves 😵"

I've been all smiles ever since. I'm so excited. I'm giddy and nervous and definitely frustrated because I waited so long and after that, still didn't get a chance to be alone with him for so much as a second until we had to leave.

But those a bit too long to be just friends hugs I had gotten earlier? They didn't have nothing on the one I got at the end of the night.

[pindaleng]

Asks Part 2 - 150 asks

blackdowning asked:

all of the taylor asks please and also all of the 150 asks from a couple days ago thanks

Get ready for a ride

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Teasingly with my friend Holly

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Shy af

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My bestie @blackdowning :’)

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so! Unless we’re good enough friends that all I do is find ways to antagonize you

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Romantic “like”? Hope so but don’t know them that well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People with really nice smiles and laughs and have a great sense of humor because help me if I have to explain memes or can’t make them laugh (because I’m hilarious)

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Lol no way

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Thinking of what to text @blackdowning

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Yikes

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My roommates!

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

"New year old me my bed is probs gross now“

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

King of My Heart - Taylor Swift

Bad At Love (Stripped) - Halsey

Over You - Miranda Lambert

Over You - Ingrid Michaelson, A Great Big World

Can I Be Him - James Arthur

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Um idk, if I’m comfortable with them?

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yupperdoodles :)

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Discovered Wynonna Earp and Carmilla :’)

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yikes nope

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Yessir

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

LOL nope but he likes my Facebook roasts to our mutual friend sometimes

19. Do you like bubble baths?

What kind of person doesn’t??

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Don’t know my apartment neighbors but maybe the ones across the hall could smoke less weed that’d be great

21. What are you bad habits?

Scratching my head and releasing dandruff, rubbing my face as it’s peeling, shaking my leg, staying up late doing nothing, procrastinating, etc.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Want to go to Japan one day! But otherwise not sure. Europe in general, Australia, Canada? Places with good food and comfortable living arrangements.

23. Do you have trust issues?

Why is this question in so many asks yes I do move on what a clingy question jeez

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Going on tumblr

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

...all of it? :’)

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Grumble about being awake

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Uhhh I think I’m pretty okay with how it is rn

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My besties

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Yikes no thank goodness

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Probably! #TaxBenefits

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yeps!

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Um threesome friendship? Elise Bauman and Natasha Negovanlis cuz I’d be a third party observer as they forget about me and just get to watch them be super great all the time 

33. Spell your name with your chin.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

In a badminton class rn! I’ve also played sports for funzies like tennis, volleyball, swimming, and basketball

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Heck that’s hard. Without TV? Especially if they couldn’t have music in them. But like I’m such tv fandom trash it would be so hard.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Hahha yes

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Um nothing or how’s it going or 

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Super funny. Great listener. Eye crinkles when they smile/laugh. Bright smile. Laugh that makes flowers grow. Driven.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

There was a store in Epcot Japan that I could spend like my entire life in. Craft stores, and department stores with plaid/button ups/dressy clothes

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Um in college rn so... college?

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yuggerduggers

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m either super exhausted or irritated or uninterested

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yess’m because I get unreasonably bothered when people don’t smile at me cuz then I think I did something wrong lmao

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Um bottom of the ocean like under a bajillion pounds of water how cool is that

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Responsibility and food

46. What are you paranoid about?

SO MANY THINGS. 

47. Have you ever been high?

Tried but didn’t work

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Erp yep

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Um secret projects

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Maroon

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

All the time??

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Me? :’)

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Uh covergirl? Don’t really wear makeup 

54. Favourite store?

Teeturtle (online store) has pretty nifty stuff

55. Favourite blog?

@blackdowning

56. Favourite colour?

Red

57. Favourite food? 

Sushi

58. Last thing you ate?

White Cheddar Cheez-its

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Milk with instant coffee, but first actual food PB&J

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Once was a winner of a letter to santa competition my local newspaper hosted when I was a kiddo and got a stuffed bear

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope I’m too much of a goody two shoes

62. Been arrested? For what?

For stealing people’s hearts ;) jk never been arrested

63. Ever been in love? 

Don’t think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Was leaving their house and then awkwardly talked for forty minutes by their door then fill in the blank

65. Are you hungry right now?

I literally always am so

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Um tumblr friends r real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

No

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Internet and Food

71. Craving something? What?

Sushi and love

72. What colour are your towels?

Red and pink

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Just one

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I have some on my bed!

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Ummm 15-20?

75. Favourite animal?

Pandas

76. What colour is your underwear?

Wouldn’t you like to know ;)

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Mint Chocolate Chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Pink

80. What colour pants?

Blue jeans

81. Favourite tv show?

Supergirl

82. Favourite movie?

Ugh hard one I don’t really have a fave. I really like Now You See Me1 and 2, the Pitch Perfects, The Carmilla Movie, Almost Adults, The Big Short, Polar Express, and I’m sure I’m messing some

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Who tf likes Mean Girls 2 better??????????

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Karen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Crush?

87. First person you talked to today?

My roommate Holly

88. Last person you talked to today?

So far, my other roommates Hope and Victoria

89. Name a person you hate?

Nick St. Clair

90. Name a person you love?

Betty Cooper

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Anybody I want to fite sum1

92. In a fight with someone?

Don’t think so

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Many many

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Also many lots love sweaters and hoodies

95. Last movie you watched?

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

96. Favourite actress?

Just one??? 

97. Favourite actor?

uhhh Chris Wood maybe? Tom Hanks?

98. Do you tan a lot?

Did when I played tennis in high school

99. Have any pets?

No :(

100. How are you feeling?

Great B)

101. Do you type fast?

Decently quick!

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

SO MANY but also trying to just accept it instead of feel bad about it

103. Can you spell well?

W-E-L-L

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yessss

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Um not like super cool burning couches and ten feet tall fires but just chill roasting marshmallows ones yeah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probsa

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes! It was fun

108. What should you be doing?

Studying for exams stop attacking me

109. Is something irritating you right now?

I’m tired and IT’S SO FRICKEN COLD OUTSIDE

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Hm I don’t think so

111. Do you have trust issues?

I'm against monopolies so you could say I have issues with trust (anti-trust get it haha I’m hilarious give me money)

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

@blackdowning

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Awk didn’t really have one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yupps!

115. Do you play the Wii?

Uh duh it’s great

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Mmmhmm

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Who doesn’t?

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YES

119. Favourite book?

Freakonomics

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Kinda

121. Are you mean?

Average ye

122. Is cheating ever okay?

I use google all the time for my hws so I hope so

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Lol no my white shoes rn are getting pretty dirty

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes <3

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes <3 <3

126. Are you currently bored?

Yes but I also have a heck ton of stuff I need to do oop

127. What makes you happy?

Making other people laugh/smile

128. Would you change your name?

If it would make it sound cooler yah

129. What your zodiac sign?

Gemini

130. Do you like subway?

Delish I might get some soon

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Literally this was already a question who made this

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

London girl with an attitude We never told no one but we look so cute Both got way better things to do But I always think about it when I'm riding through - Bad at Love by Halsey

134. Can you count to one million?

Is that before or after seven

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk if it’s the dumbest but in an interview I said I knew what a company did and then said it wrong but they hired me anyways so who rly won

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5′4″?

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight in reference to hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette? Closer to black hair

140. Summer or Winter?

Summer

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

June

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nah

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark chocolate ftw

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee

146. Was today a good day?

Yeah :)

147. Mars or Snickers?

Um Milky Way should count under Mars right

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

How else do u explain how a russian nesting doll ended up in my apartment freezer when neither me nor my roommates did it.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Uh literally don’t have a book near me rn might update later when I find one

[kpopcinnamonswirlroll]

RULES: ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS THEN TAG OTHER PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

K so i was tagged by the gem that goes by @kpopluvwriter and was like ‘omg i have been noticed’ so imma do this real quick (hopefully) before i go to bed.

Here are the questions:

How tall are you?

I am 5'7" & tbh i want to be a bit shorter. Totally not cuz of my bias’s ideal s/o height, noooooooo…

What color are your eyes?

I have brown eyes. But my eyes can look amber in certain lightings. imo they’re one of my best features lol.

Do you wear contacts and/or glasses?

Yes, i wear glasses. I can’t wear contacts cuz my eyes are messed up & the lenses of my glasses have tints & prisms in them.

Do you wear braces?

For teeth, no. But i should, i have an underbite & it makes me hate my smile. Some people find it cute tho. I do wear ankle braces. Like that is a story & a half by itself, but im too sleepy to explain rn. Tl;dr i have weak ankles.

What is your fashion style?

I dont really have one. If anything it’d be cute/comfy/casual. But I’ve been 10000% emo one day & been 'girl next door’ the next. It’s all over the place.

When were you born?

June 21, 1999

How old are you?

18

Do you have any siblings?

Yes. 1 older brother. Our relationship hasnt been too great, but we tolerate each other & sometimes even get along pretty well.

What are your favorite subjects?

I am a nerd for history ngl. Like, i love learning about other cultures & stuff & just learning about something in general. I also really like poetry, math, & science.

What are your favorite movies?

Um…idk. I dont remember movies very well😂. But, i do love Disney. Like, Disney movies are bae. If i was sick, i would just want to cuddle, sleep, eat, & watch Disney movies all day. …tbh that might be one of my ideal dates. OH WELL.

Do you have any regrets?

This one is complicated. Like, generally at the time i will regret something. But i dont regret how my choices in life changed me. I am a pretty awesome person. I have been raised to be kind, compassionate, & polite. So i think I’ve made some p good choices in my life.

What is your dream job?

I’ve wanted to be a singer since I’ve been little 😂. I have written some songs & they arent too bad. I want to audition for JYP in the near future, but i doubt they’d accept me. I weigh too much.

Would you like to get married?

I will answer that question when i find someone actually willing to marry me. Thank you very much.

Do you want kids? How many?

Okay, the answer to that depends on my partner. Im not very assertive & i want to make whoever im with happy. If i get married & want kids, i’d talk to my partner first.

How many countries have you visited?

One. I have been to Spain. It is beautiful. I love Segovia so much. I had the best host family there. They are so cute. The architecture is incredible. Like, i could geek out about how awesome my Spain visit was. I would love to travel more, but that costs money, which i dont earn enough to save :’).

What was your scariest dream?

Okay, first off my dreams are prophetic. Like, i get a lot of deja vu feels when i have never been somewhere before & then i see a scene that i have seen in my dreams. So, i had a dream when i was about 5 to 7 years old. I was at a party in an old mansion that my family had recently bought (in the dream) & we were on the top floor. Apparently we were being too loud cuz my mom came upstairs & was like “y'all need to shut up” & then she fell through the wooden floor. All the way down to the bottom. I woke up crying.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other?

*blinks* kinda. It’s complicated & i really dont feel like explaining it. But atm im not available. That’s all y'all need to know.

Put your playlist on shuffle & without skipping list the first 15 songs that play

Lmao i dont have 15 songs on my phone’s playlist. I need to go to my youtube playlist 😂😂. It has 192 songs, so i should be covered.

Omfg- Everybody

Jeremiah- Birthday Sex

Blackpink- Boombayah

Girl’s Day- Something

Theory of a Deadman- RX

Jessie J- Domino

Got7- Fly

September- La La La (Never Give It Up)

[Gakupo] Chainsmokers- Closer

[Foster the People] Pumped up Kicks- Remix

Got7- If You Do

BTS- Steve Aoki Mic Drop Remix ft. Desiigner

[Shape of You] The Mega Remix

Luvatory English Cover

Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee- Despacito ft Justin Bieber

I think i’ll tag @cutiepielover1123 @imagining-bxngtan @bulletproofwhalien cuz im pretty sure im more engaged on their blog. Lol this took me like an hour to do. Whoops. 😂😂😂

[park-chimx2]

♥️ MY BTS WINGS TOUR IN ANAHEIM EXPERIENCE (04/01/2017) ♥️

SNEAK PEAK: The chaos in the morning for the official line to get the numbered wristbands. Soundcheck. Eye contact with Jungkook, Jimin and J-hope. BTS solos. CYPHER!!! Getting baptized by the holy J-hope. Throwing the two Mickey ears on the stage and making one of the most iconic SOPE moments in the history happen.

Enjoy~ :,)

OKAY so, I arrived there at 6:30am because I had P1 GA with soundcheck and there was already a line outside the venue with a security guard In front. At 7:45~7:50am (as soon as the security sent a go signal) EVERYBODY RAN!! I mean RAN!! It was absolutely insane and TERRIFYING!! The sound of foodsteps was so loud and the pushing was so bad that people literally fell and others just ran over them!! And this happened RIGHT in front of me! I was so scared and felt so sorry for those people! There were people falling head first, injuring their knees n legs literally drawing blood! I was just running and couldn’t see where because of the sun and I heard my friend calling out to me who was already in the line. She had to GRAB me so I wouldn’t get washed away by the TSUNAMI OF PEOPLE! Yes TSUNAMI!!! At this point I was terrified To death and thought “if this is just for the line how bad is it gonna be at the actual concert?!” And really wanted to trade for a Seated But I didn’t lol nobody with Seated wanted GA and that was completely understandable! Anyways, now we’re in the official line waiting To get our numbered wristbands (my number was 226) which wasn’t that bad. At the end of the day there were over a thousand people with GA Wristbands! Anyways, after the wristband there comes the merch line, again it was insane! In terms of length. I got sunburnt because of how Long I stood in that line under the sun! But thankfully I got my jungkook picket!! It’s huge!! At this time, it was around 1:45pm and they said the soundcheck people should line up starting at 2:45pm. I took this time to really hydrate myself since I heard people have fainted Because of dehydration. I drank 4 bottles of water! Lol 😂 but I mean I guess it helped cuz I didn’t faint. The security told the Soundcheck people to line up at 2:30 based on their numbers which was good and horrible at the same time. Their organization skills were 0!! After we lined up, they opened the doors and checked the bags and stuff and LET ME TELL U when they say the security is pretty strong..NOPE IT WAS NOT! THE SECURITY DIDNT EVEN OPEN MY BAG AND LET ME GO THROUGH!! Like wtf?? There was no picture/video allowed during the soundcheck. OH I FORGOT SOMETHING!! while we were behind the doors waiting for the security to tell us when to line up, WE COULD HEAR BTS PERFORMING INSIDE!! WE WERE LIKE shouldn’t we be in there?? Isn’t this the soundcheck we were supposed attend?? It was awful and sad af and we just chanted the lyrics from outside :,) one song I could clearly hear from outside was cypher and I was like :,,,,) I wanna be there! Okay now back to the Story: now were inside, all of soundcheck people had to stand on the left side of the runway towards the main stage. The view was great and people didn’t push at all!! They were standing still and everyone had enough space for themselves to breath and do whatever. We waited and waited until BTS came out!!! First was jimin! they were all in their sweat pants like they just came straight out from their dorm :,) No makeup no nothing AND JUNGKOOK WAS WEARING A CAP!! 😭 they all looked like college boys you see every day (BUT OF COURSE THEYRE MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL) jungkook looked much more slim than his pictures, idk if it was becuz of the loose clothing or what but he was slim. They all Kinda looked tired too. I held up the picket as soon as they walked in and Jimin came right in front of the stage where we were at AND JIMIN MADE AN EYE CONTACT WITH ME!!! When ppl say jimin stares at u when he makes eye contact THEYRE NOT LYING!! I screamed and jumped up an down so hard THEN came Yoongi! He was in all black and looked hot af! He waved at us shortly then went back to the middle of main stage And JHOOOOOOPE!! He’s literally a living sunshine!! He was so bubbly and smiley and greeted us with such energy and positivity all the pain In my body from the last 19 years went away :,) AND THEN JUNGKOOK OMG!!! When he stood in front of the stage where we were at, I held up the Picket so high AND HE SAW IT!!! HE MADE AN EYE CONTACT WITH ME AND NODDED SHAKEGSKAVDKA!!! My baby noticed me now I can die happily :,,) Jin was pretty attentive with fans too!! He made eye contact with as many people as he could and all Jin stans were living their lives!! Then Taehyung and Namjoon. They greeted us and started rehearsing. They only did three songs first was 21st century girl 2nd save me and I CANNOT REMEMBER THE THIRD ONE😭 (it might’ve been Am I Wrong) but we all did the fan chants and it was so loud and beautiful Tae was trying so hard to hold in his smile :,) It was good and then it was over… it wasn’t an hour or even half an hour :( it was around 10 mins and then they were gone 😭 Then we got out, waiting to get into the official line for the concert, we started at 5pm. THANKFULLY they really did go by the number policy and now everything was starting to feel a lot more organized so we all were happy lol. Fast forward to getting inside the venue again I really wanted to be in front of the extended stage but there were a lot of people there already so we ended up at the side of the extended. BUT the view was excellent!! We were in the second row and could see everything perfectly! Which was awesome~ when we were waiting for the show, a girl passed out three headbands (Mickey ears) to us and asked us to throw them on the stage at the end of the concert for them. I got the silver one, the one that was had Jungkook written on the ears and wore it on my head. The security told us that if we throw anything on the stage we will get kicked out, but I told the girl who gave us the headbands to not worry and I WILL throw it for them. It was gonna be at the end of the concer anyways and at that point nobody’s gonna listen anymore. […] its 7:55pm and we’re losing our shit!!! Only 5 more minutes!! They played Spring day mv and we all sang with it! It was beautiful :,) then was VCR AND THEN NOT TODAY!!!! LIT LIT LIT!!! So good!! Sooooo good!! Since it was on the main stage I had difficulty seeing them but it still was awesome!!! People really did the fan chants throughout the whole show Their solos were so nice, YOONGI’s SOLO MAN… it was beautiful! I get chills even thinking about it! I cried, really did cry Cuz I can really relate myself with that song and the experience he went through and just the feeling, the vibe of his performance was like Re-living that experience. It was beautiful. I was wiping my tears when jimin jk jin and tae came up on the extended stage for LOST!! I STARTED SCREAMING AND JUMPING WHILE MY FACE WAS STILL WET FROM THE TEARS!! Jimin came to our side and AGAIN MADE AN EYE CONTACT WITH ME!! LET ME TELL U!! JIMIN AND JHOPE MADE ALOT OF EYE CONTACTS WITH ME THROUGHOUT THE SHOW BUT JIMIN MAN… HE STARES AT U FOR A WHOLE 10 SECONDS! WHEN HE SAW ME I BLEW A KISS AT HIM LIKE JIN AND THEN HE LOOKED DOWN omg!! It was insanely good!! JUNGKOOK ON THE OTHER HAND… I HELD UP TWO JK FANS WITH A JK SLOGAN JUST TO GET A LILL EYE CONTACT WITH HIM THROUGHOUT THE SHOW BUT I GOT NONE!!! NOT EVEN A GLANCE IM SO SAD YALL, my arms were on fire for holding the slogan so high up for such a long time but NOPE!! He kept looking up at the Seated ppl :,,,,) I’m not sad (I’m dying inside) anywayyyyys Namjoon’s solo :,) ppl did the “WE LOVE YOU” and it was beautiful! Jin’s solo was STUNNING!!! And Jhope’s was….GODLY!!! He was smiley throughout his whole solo and it was BEAUTIFUL!!!! Omg I love him so much!! CYPHER YALL… C Y P H E R!!!! FINALLY I GOT BAPTIZED BY THE HOLY JHOPE!!! JHOPE BAPTIZED OUR SIDE AND YOONGI THE OTHER! I CANT BELIEVE I WAS PART OF IT OMG ITS UNREAL!! The whole show was fantastic but I was unable to record much SINCE I WAS BUSY TRYING MY ASS TO GET NOTICED BY JUNGKOOK 😒 but I recorded wings :,) fast forward the the end of the show when they were bowing to say goodbye and I took the chance! I removed the headband from my head and threw it on the stage!! I threw it so far but thankfully It didn’t fall. I was extremely careful when throwing it and making sure it didn’t hit any of them! Now, the headband I was wearing the whole show and threw it was the silver one and the girl gave me the other (black) To throw that as well WHICH ENDED UP ON SOPE’s HEADS!!!!!! JHOPE WORE THE HEADBAND THAT WAS ON MY HEAD THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SHOW!! CAN YALL HEAR ME SCREAMING??? AND YOONGI WORE THE BLACK ONE!! Out of all the plushies and stuffed animals on stage SOPE CHOSE THE HEADBANDS I THREW FOR THEM :,,,) IM TOUCHED!!! But the security did ask who it was and lol I played it cool like “did anyone really throw something on stage?? Smh” lmaooooooo BUT OMG THAT WAS AMAZING I FEEL BLESSED!! THANK YOU JHOPE THANK YOU SUGA!!! I love u guys so much!!! AND TO JUNGKOOK!!!! PLEASE DO LOOK DOWN SOMETIMES WHEN YOURE ON STAGE!!! THERE MIGHT BE SOMEONE RIPPING HER ARM MUSCLES HOLDING UP UR SLOGAN JUST TO GET A QUICK GLANCE FROM U!! So please 🙏🏻 lol but all in all, it was an amazing experience and it still seems unreal to me! Now I’m really glad I didn’t trade for Seated cuz I was able to make one of the most iconic SOPE moments in history happen :,) Also, I feel weird asking this but, is it normal for someone to forget some of the songs they performed after the concert?? Becuz I literally can not remember I NEED U performance (which REALLY sucks since this song was one of my most favorite songs to see live!!) and BOY IN LUV and some of the other songs in their medley and that’s HELLA depressing :,) but thankfully I clearly remember all of their solos! I forgot to tell u this but JUNGKOOKS SOLO WAS COOL AF!!! The way they edited his performance and play/showed it in the background of him singing/dancing was so beautiful and epic! It was classy! And omfg don’t even get me started about JIMINS SOLO… I’m sure you all have already seen his lie performance so I’m gonna shut up now and leave lmao Thank you for reading my crazy experience and I hope and wish for those of you who haven’t seen them live to really get a chance and attend their concert!!! And don’t worry! You WILL see them live one day! Two years ago when I started liking BTS and was already head over heels for them, they had already announced their LA concert and it was too late for me to get a ticket and all the prices were so high I couldn’t afford it. I cried myself to sleep listening to Let Me Know while they were performing literally one hour away from me. But thankfully I did get a chance to see them at Kcon LA 2016 and their Wings Tour! So do not worry 😊 you all WILL get to see them one day! Hope u have a nice day ❤ BYE~!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #178

“for such a little thing, you sure are in your own way.”

What’s your favorite type of bird? Barn owls are actual deities. What was on the last sandwich you ate? Pb & j. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? Same stuff I listen to now, although I had a mild screamo-ish phase. Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? No. How far away is the closest store to your house and what is it? Some cheap dollar store in the town, dunno names. What is your favorite Thai dish? Haven't tried any. When was the last time you made out with somebody? Over a month back. What month of the year was your mother born? August. Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? No. What TV show(s) have you been watching currently? None. How many apps do you have on your phone? Six. My phone has so, so little storage ugh. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No to both. Are there any movies you’ve seen so many times? Yeah, sure. Of course a lot as a kid, Finding Nemo and The Lion King 1 & 2 especially, then I've watched both Blair Witch Project movies a lot, Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas... How would you describe your sense of humor? Sarcastic. What’s your favorite type of bread? Pumpernickel. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yeah. Have there ever been any brushfires/wildfires in your area? Yeah. What did you have to eat for dinner last night? Nothing (Thanksgiving was lunch). Do you have separate emails for personal and business? No. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. Do you know your significant other’s passwords? No, I have no reason to. Would you like to study abroad one day? No. Does someone have a crush on you but you don’t feel the same way? Idk. Who do you feel most beautiful around? Sara. /v\ What’s one makeup item you cannot live without? I could easily live without any. Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? All guys. Did you french kiss before you were 16? No. Imagine your spouse just died; would you get re-married? I don't know if I would. Like... I'd never stop loving her, so "moving on" to someone else just because she's no longer physically here would feel disloyal. What’s your favorite thing about life? New, fun experiences and creating strong bonds with people like you. Who pays for the first date? Idrc, but probably whoever proposed the date? Or split the bill? Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yeah. Do you play any computer games, if so, what ones? Not currently 'cuz my gaming laptop has to be fixed. :| When it is and I have my own income, I might return to WoW, but I'm not sure. I think the subscription is kinda high, and I have more important things to handle. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? Idk why I find White Chicks so goddamn funny. What lyric means the most to you? Off the very top of my head, "A bloody war behind my eyes; I'll come all right on the other side" from "Free" by Mother Mother. Really makes me think of all I've been through but how I keep coming out stronger. Who is the smartest person you know? Girt. What’s the next movie you will see in theaters? Idk. Are you adopted? No. What band do you like that most people hate? You canNOT look me in the face and say you don't like at least one Nickelback song. I don't get the hate. Any new bands that you actually enjoy? Oh idk. What is your escape from reality? RPing. Do you have any self-inflicted scars on your arms? You can only just barely see them. Do you like “scene” hair? YEAH AND I ALWAYS FUCKING WANTED IT BUT I COULD NEVER POSE IT CORRECTLY 'CUZ MY HAIR WAS TOO THICK AND HEAVY. Have your parents ever been to jail? No. If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Definitely not. Does it scare you when a relationship moves too fast? Y E A H Would you ever consider hitchhiking? I don't know if I would even in a desperate situation... I don't trust people. Have you ever hitchhiked? No. Have you ever been to a music festival? No. What color car do you want to have? Burnt orange. Would you rather hike a mountain or explore a cave? Explore a cave!!! Would you rather wear a flower crown or veil? Probably a veil? Do you believe peace on earth is attainable? I honestly don't believe so. What type of tattoo do you want? s o  m a n y What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Would you ever live in the desert? Nooooo. Fuck the heat. Is your town beautiful? I don't really live in one, but the closest town isn't. Which season do you want to get married in? Autumn. Are totem poles cool? YEAH! Favorite art forms? Conceptual photography. What kind of music do you enjoy? Plenty sorts of metal, rock, and alternative. Do you have any gay friends? Yeah. Where is your favorite place to go? The zoo, even though I have mixed feelings about them... Do you know your dad? Yeah. How often do you get on Facebook? At least once a day. Are you related to anyone who’s in prison? Don't think so?? What concerts are you attending in the near future? Y'ALL I MIGHT FUCKING SEE OZZY IN JANUARY. He and Megadeth are coming to Charlotte and the tickets aren't too bad. :') It's a loooong drive but Mom was like "hell yeah" when I told her and wants to buy tickets after she gets her tax return AH. Metallica is a possibility too, but Mom doesn't think she can afford it. If you were kicked out of your house, where would you go first? Dad's. What are you currently looking forward to? Sara's b-day, Christmas, hopefully getting my laptop fixed, aforementioned concerts, and school. What was the reason you got grounded for last? Idk, that was a long time ago. But most likely for "talking back" to Mom. The last two people you kissed, are they virgins? Yes; probably not. Is there a guy that knows everything or mostly everything about you? Yeah. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? A bit to the left. If you could have anything delivered to your doorstep each morning, what would it be? Um,,, money?????? What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? New York City. Heard from my sister it's a shithole with the craziest and rudest people known to Planet Earth. I'm not big on cities, anyway. Which animated character is your all-time favorite? Uhhhhhh... Dory, maybe? If you could own a home on the shore of any body of water in the world, which waterfront would you choose? I WANT THE PINK BEACHES OF THE BAHAMAS. But I'm scared of the Bermuda Triangle so will probably never see them. :'''''') What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? MY RECOVERY. If I got through what I have, I can't ever give up and roll back down that hill. I'm focusing to always improve. If you could have any round object in the world, what spherical item would you want? t h e  g a m e s p h e r e ,  l a d s If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? Practice eyes or start a poem. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? Hmmm... OH, maybe a big cat's tongue licking meat. See how it actually shears tiny bits off. Cats' tongues are cool. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Take my anxiety med at the right time. If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? Compassion. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? Oh jeez, I'd have to think too hard on this. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Did your parents do drugs when they were younger? Not to my knowledge, and I doubt they would've. Do you have any relatives who live on a different continent than you? I don't believe so. What are your religious beliefs? Were you raised with those beliefs, or did you develop them on your own? I'm a theist, entailing I believe in a creator, but I know nothing about him/her/it. I personally picture them as a peaceful and sage deity that allows life to go on without it intervening anywhere, letting the world evolve on its own and see how we adapt to our unique settings and handle life. In the end, I believe we are either given some form of paradise or a type of damnation depending on how you wrote your story. I like to imagine the good go to their personal vision of "Heaven," and I wonder if the paranormal activity some experience in life are the acts of the damned, apparently confined to remain on Earth or something. Anyway, I wasn't raised with such beliefs; they were developed. I was brought up Catholic, then I turned to just simple Christianity as I didn't agree with a lot of Catholic ideas, and most recently I abruptly turned away from that in favor of theism. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? We went out for breakfast. What has been your favorite house/apartment/etc you’ve ever lived in? My last house for location, as a house itself, my childhood one. What’s something in your house that currently needs to be cleaned? I need to vacuum my room. Do you still remember any of the dreams or nightmares you had as a child? Yup. What’s the most bizarre conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The world is donut-shaped. Yeah. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not. At. All. Who was your first crush? Did you ever actually date them? Dylan, and no. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? Who knows. Has anyone ever told you you’re manipulative? I don't think so. Do you know anyone who owns their own business? No. When was the last time you weren’t 100% sober? Uhhh maybe that movie night with Colleen and Chelsea. Is obtaining a college degree something that is important to you? Well, for my possible career future. Have you ever eaten at a vegan restaurant? No. Do you view substance abuse as a disease or a choice? I have... mixed feelings here. Starting something, that is indisputably a choice. Becoming addicted though, I'm not sure. Some people have addictive personalities so have a bigger inclination to become addicted, but isn't that just a personal trait/weakness you can fight?? I dunno. I know it's labelled as a disease by people way more informed than me though, so. What does the last text you sent say? Don't feel like checking. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or ‘sir?’ No. I live in the South, that's polite. Have you ever been obsessed with a television character? Does Dory count for movies? ha ha Do you ever wish you had powers of invisibility? Not really. What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Recovery. Do you have any step siblings? One. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. In which state/country were you born? NC, U.S.A. Have you ever been to an amusement park out of state? Disney World. What do you normally drink when eating at a fast food restaurant? Coke or Mountain Dew. Have the police ever been looking for you? Not because I did something wrong; I've told the beach story a few times. If you chew gum, which kind is your favorite? I love the watermelon Hubba Bubba one asjfawoeu Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah. What was the last liquid that you choked on? Water, just this morning when I was taking my meds ah. How many times did you wake up today before actually getting up? Well, I woke up once in the middle of the night like usual, then I woke up at like, 6-something and went back to sleep. Who did you celebrate your last birthday with? Mom, sises, Ash's husband and kids, and Dad stopped by. Was your last kiss initiated by you or the other person? I think it was kinda a simultaneous thing. We were saying bye. Do you buy a ton of things at the store at once or just for that day? Mom does the shopping, but it depends on how much time she has and what's at the house. When getting dressed do you put your pants or shirt on first? Pants. When you kiss a person where do your hands usually go? I actually don't know if it's a consistent thing for me??? I don't kiss anyone regularly so I don't recognize a pattern. What is one song you listen to that you’re sure not many people do? "False Flags," probs. Massive Attack is so neglected of the attention they deserve. Do you use a handrail on stairs if there is one? Yes, I'm scared of tripping. What was the last thing you saw that made you smile? Teddy came right up into my face wanting attention. What is your favorite drinking game? Never played any. Do you have any tattoos that you don’t like anymore? I think I've mentioned why I don't love my "ohana" one now. I'm getting it covered at some point. My "perfectly flawed" one is probably getting covered by a much bigger piece; I picked a bad location for it to want a sleeve. I'd just maybe redesign it, put if somewhere else. Do you have a shower curtain or door? Curtain. Who was the last person from your high school graduating class you saw? Probs Colleen? Who was the last non-relative you hung out with? Sara. Are you listening to anything right now? I'm way too obsessed with "Black Wedding" by In This Moment (feat. Rob Halford). Rob makes it, and the chorus is awesome. How many keys are on your keychain? One. Who was the last person you took a photograph with? Ryder, my nephew. Are you left handed? No. What were you most scared of when you were little? Losing my mom/being separated from her. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you painted your nails? What color(s)? I couldn't even guess. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Thank fuck no. Have you ever overflown a bathtub? Don't think so. What’s at the top of your to-do list in life? Stay positive, never stop aiming to improve. What was the last thing you shared? Well, Thanksgiving food. Where are you most ticklish? Feet. Do not- Which cartoon character do you want to keep as a pet? Uhhhh how 'bout an Espeon. I imagine them to be calm and silently affectionate like cats and very intelligent. Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? No. When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? Getting food yesterday. Per usual, let things die down, but I still ended up crammed in a corner, unable to go in any direction while someone was trying to get past me. I was headed for an anxiety attack and felt like a total nuisance. I'm pretty sure it showed in how I was whipping my head around, shuffling in various directions, clearly wanting the fuck out. Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? No, lyrics can't ruin a song I like the sound of. What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? A PS4, omg. I have to get my laptop fixed and a new camera, so I highly doubt I'm getting that or a tablet considering cost. I want to play the Spyro Reignited trilogy beyond words, like I refuse to even watch a let's play because I want to experience it all first-hand, but. Yeah, unlikely anytime soon. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Noooooo. Do you like quesadillas? Only chicken and/or cheese ones. Did you like the show Invader Zim? I surprisingly never saw it. What’s the greatest/most influential song you’ve ever heard? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy always makes me wanna get off my ass and do something. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in a grocery store? A HUGE BOX OF ANIMAL HEADS IN THE MIDDLE OF WAL-MART, BECKONING THE FURRIES INTO ITS DEPTHS. Have you ever bought yourself a present on Christmas? No. Well, I've used money I've been given on Christmas, if that counts. Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? No. Do you need a key card to get into the building you live in? No. Have you ever stepped in chewing gum? Yes. Name all the people you know that you’ve seen today. Just Mom.