#might watch the apprentice for him idk

[depressedraisin]

playing fucking roy cohn (derogatory) and dr. thomas fucking stockmann (affectionately) within the same year is insane like never say jeremy strong doesn't have The Range

[spookykoolkat]

tattoo shop - e.m. blurb

main masterlist

an : something i was thinking about bc eddie obviously loves bigger women. should i turn this into a short story? :p

let me know! i love feedback <3

wc: less than 1k? maybe 1k? idk i didnt count LOL

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

the thing about eddie is that he noticed he'd only ever have crushes on bigger women. it started in high school, when he had a crush on one his literature teacher. she was full, round hips and thighs that forced the fabric of her pencil skirts to stretch, and the outline of the buldge of her tummy. eddie could tell she would wear things to flatten her figure out, and struggled not to be that one weird student and comment on her body.

maybe it's milfs. maybe it's older women you were attracted to.

well, he leaned that way for a while. until he started his new job as a tattoo apprentice. you worked there, not chosen with talent or skills to actually tattoo pieces of artwork on bodies, or pierce flesh with needles all day. you settled for doodling at the front desk of the tattoo shop, and eddie managed to watch your every move.

you dressed in tight tops and baggy pants, always hanging off of your thick hips enough to show the hemline of your boxer briefs you wore. somehow you managed to look feminine while masculine at the same time.

you noticed him staring, but being too shy to say anything to the shaggy haired metalhead, you kept your distance and gave small, blushing smiles to him. he took it.

he didn't think he'd go from getting small smiles from you to bending you over his dining table at his place after a party he threw. but he did. eddie came on to you, told you how sexy you looked that night, asked if it was weird working at a tattoo shop with zero tattoos. that's when you asked him, who said i didn't have tattoos?

eddie quickly found out that you did. and you had a lot. they were littered over your stomach, your thighs and shoulders. how he managed to never see them was shocking, but what became even more shocking was when you accepted his flirty invitation.

i have to see it to believe it, sweetheart.

so, the house emptied towards the night, not a single person in sight besides you and eddie. you were in eddie's kitchen cleaning up solo cups and alcoholic residue when he walked in, thick with silence. he was watching you from behind, bending over his counter slightly to scrub away the stickiness.

"you don't have to do that, honey," eddie said as he walked toward you.

you stopped scrubbing with the rag, and faced him with the small of your back digging into the counter. "i know. just, felt like i should." you blushed, feeling heat rush to your cheeks from the mix of alcohol and embarrassment.

"you're a sweet girl, you know that?" eddie said with a cheeky smile, moving to stand in front of you as you stayed put.

"you don't have to compliment me," you said and averted your gaze. it was enough you had the epitome of your dream man standing in front of you, but he had to call you a sweet girl too?

"why wouldn't i compliment you? i think you're a real pretty girl. a real pretty girl who i didn't know had tattoos." he said with a smile, easing your nerves with a small joke and you felt yourself melt.

"they're just hidden. a surprise for whoever gets to see me with my clothes off." you admit and your face heats up even more, making eddie take a few steps closer to you.

"those lucky fuckers." he breathed, somehow closer than you remembered. close enough for his hand to ghost yours, and move to your hip.

"mm, don't know how lucky they really were if they never talked to me again afterwards," you said with a soft chuckle. he scoffed, moving closer and placing both his hands on the curve of your hips. you let him, the feeling of his large hands squeezing the parts of you that you hated.

"psh, you'd might need to get a restraining order on me if i ever saw these tattoos of yours," maybe he should've said something less forward, but the silence that rang through the house was so defining — he had you alone.

still, you played dumb. not necessarily dumb, you just wanted to hear him say it. "why would i get a restraining order on you?" you laughed. your hands instinctively rested against his abdomen as he brought himself closer.

"don't think i could ever leave you the fuck alone even if my life depended on it."

"eddie," you warned, as if you felt he was unsure about what he truly wanted, "you don't want me, i know you're acting like it but, that's not true,"

it came out weak, sad and almost insecure until eddie moved his hands up your curves, over the rolls of your back, and grabbing you with your cheeks in his palms.

"i don't really think you can tell me how to feel, isn't that right? i think i'm allowed to want whoever i want." he said confidently and your eyes went wide, doe like as if you were struck with the most impossible words you'd ever heard.

"you want me?" you squeaked, your voice not cooperating with you.

"will you let me have you, pretty girl?"

[silusvesuius]

unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP

retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).

Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping. 

if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know

^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises

even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you

even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷‍♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird. 

there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6

[solarishashernoseinabook]

Yet another AU where Halt raises Will instead of dropping him off at the Ward…

this might become another trr sequel idk yet

~

After five years, Halt thought he was getting the hang of fatherhood. He would drop Will off at the Ward for longer missions, which Will tended to treat as an adventure, and for shorter missions he had him stay with someone from Wensley Village. In a few years, when he could trust Will more, maybe he would begin taking him along on missions. For now, Will was loud and impulsive, more interested in playing games than sitting still, and Halt saw no harm in letting him stay a child a bit longer.

Will was turning out to be remarkably normal, all things considered. He was much better than Halt socially, outgoing and friendly. He had picked up a few of Halt’s fidgets, and sometimes he would try and imitate Halt’s mostly-blank expression, but his quick grin always shone through after a few moments.

Halt was packing for the Gathering now. He put Will’s things in one saddlebag and his own in the other, but packing for two people meant being very economical with what he brought. He had just finished packing Will’s clothes, and was trying to find a way to fit Will’s toy horse on top of them – Will had trouble sleeping without it.

Halt heard Will climb up to sit on the table. ‘Dad?’

‘Hm?’ Halt responded without looking up. He tried shuffling the clothes over to fit the horse in.

‘What’re dopteds?’

Halt paused and looked up. ‘What are what?’

‘Dopteds. Missus Cherry at the Ward says I’m a dopted.’

A smile tugged at the corners of Halt’s mouth. ‘She said you were adopted, not a dopted. It means I didn’t have a wife, I found you and decided to keep you.’

Thinking that was the end of it, Halt went back to trying to fit the horse into the saddlebag. He gave up and decided to put it with his things instead, though it would mean leaving behind his spare cloak.

But he should have remembered that Will always asked follow-up questions, and sure enough, Will asked the one he’d been dreading. ‘Where’d you find me?’

Several possible answers flashed through Halt’s mind in the space of seconds. For some unknown reason, the one he settled on was, ‘I went out to the bog, dug a hole, and found you at the bottom of it.’

‘I came from a bog?’

Halt paused in the act of setting aside his spare cloak. After a moment, he decided he might as well run with it – he could hardly take it back now. ‘Yes. Took weeks to get the smell of peat off of you.’

Will’s face split into a mischievous grin and he giggled. ‘I bet I had leaves in my hair!’

‘And a tree growing out of your ears. Go get Abelard out of his stall, we’re heading off now,’ Halt said, fastening the saddlebag.

*

Halt had forgotten all about it by the second day of the Gathering. He was jointing a brace of large, fat pheasants, occasionally glancing up at Will as he played a game with some obliging first-year apprentices.

Crowley was watching them as well, and meandered over to Halt. ‘Hey, Halt?’

‘Hm?’

‘Any idea why Will’s been chasing people around all day calling himself the bog monster?’

‘No idea,’ Halt said, keeping his face deliberately blank. If Crowley found out the truth, Halt would never hear the end of it.

Crowley raised his eyebrows. ‘You sure? None of us can figure it out.’

‘Quite sure,’ Halt said gruffly. He gathered the pheasants in a pan and stood. ‘Now stop asking weird questions and help me cook these.’

[phoenixyfriend]

I have a strange AU in my brain and IDK if the character dynamics are too far from canon to really jive.

So. I was thinking about cat burglar AUs and the SW propensity for "man finds child, accidentally keeps the child." And now I'm thinking

Cat Burglar Anakin breaks into a place for thieving purpose, and finds 14yo Homeless Orphan Ahsoka.

(Alternately, Ahsoka stalking That One Famous Cat Burglar, trying to corner him and demand a thieving apprenticeship.)

Anakin decides this is now his Thieving Apprentice.

Brings her home to his and Obi-Wan's place.

(Obi-Wan does not actually know what his brother is up to in his free time. He think Anakin is sneaking out for drag racing and/or dating, and counts himself lucky so long as Anakin doesn't consume illicit materials.)

It is very much inspired by Batman 2021's Selina Kyle, but only in terms of vibe… which means it might be a bit too far from canon, where Ahsoka is raised in happy safety until the war breaks out, so IDK if this is a bit too much.

The complicating factor is that Ahsoka's generally modernized as a girl of color, so the cast at large would need to all be in similarly awful circumstances for it to not be weird... which once again brings us back to Batman 2021.

Also I've realized that my brain pinged off of the Cat Burglar thing to have both Batman 2021 Selina (which I have watched) and Gotham show teenybopper Selina (which I have only seen gifs of) and assigned one to each of our 501st disaster Jedi.

[empty-dream]

Just watched Sousou no Frieren

An 1000+ years old elf outlives her party members and watches them die one by one.

I watched the show exactly because of that premise ngl. So naturally I imagined it'd be fullchoke of tearjerkers.

I don't read the manga and I intend to keep it that way (because I don't have time enjoy the anime so much). So everything I'm talking about is purely from an anime-only.

The first episode did make me cry, specifically that scene where Himmel dies and Frieren regrets how she didn't try to get to know him better. Based on personal experience, it hurts to realize things too late.

We get to see how, as a being with much, much longer lifespan, her sense of time is completely bonkers. And she never felt bothered by it until Himmel's death.

After that, what with Heiter and Fern, she begins to learn to adjust to human's time. Meeting with Eisen also provides a new step to move forward meaningfully.

Fern (and later Stark) being her new party proves to be a supoprt to her development, because Fern is much more vocal to stop her from going on her own pace as opposed to her old party which was more lenient about it.

Surprisingly, the story becomes a calming experience as she and her new party explores (and retraces) the world they live in, full of magic and fantasy wonders. Even Frieren's silly magic tricks are a marvel to look at.

Stark is so funny because he reminds of me BNHA's Todoroki (the scar and the red hair) yet he acts the furthest away from the latter lmao. And holy hell his strength.

This is basically a retrace to the hero's party steps, and it shows. For one, everyone knows Himmel, Frieren keeps thinking (and gets reminded) of him, he might as well be present even though he is DEAD.

I'm intrigued by the demons as the enemies. It reminds me of Goblin Slayer's goblins: an antagonistic species that doesn't worth pity or any kind of feeling. The demons are especially cunning since they have the appearance of humans and majority (if not all, idk the lore) can speak and specifically weaponize words. It's hard to find any simpathy towardss anyone who does that, imo.

Ep8's drops one of the coolest title drop ever. As soon as I watched it, I checked the dictionary and found that the kanji of the title has double meanings. And to be honest I'm glad I didnt feel like checking the kanji before this episode because I got to experience that scene raw lol.

Yoasobi and Milet again huh. This is truly their year.

Tl;dr Girl ghosted her love interest and their friends for 50 years, regrets it, and goes on nostalgia trip with said friends' family/apprentice.

[jewishcissiekj]

One of the things that upset me most about Dark Disciple & the Quinlan/Asajj romance is just how much it's the writers smashing their action figures together. In general, the entirety of Asajj's TCW storylines also severely lack thought other than somebody playing a game with their dolls.

Let me explain. Asajj has a lot of potential. Her character and themes from the get-go (concept art for AOTC Sith) are full of intrigue and mystery. You want to know this character and whatever is behind her, why is she doing all this, and how she got there. And TCW answers that question pretty well. She was a Nightsister baby who was given to a slaver and later trained by a Jedi Master who died, she encountered Dooku and trained under him, only to get betrayed by him and return to her Nightsister roots, causing the murder of almost all Nightsisters and her transition to a Bounty Hunter and …redemption? leading to her eventual death at the hands of Count Dooku.

The thing is, this story feels so all over the place for me. There are themes, sure, but other than a clear motivation, something is missing. There's no point to her character. When she's introduced in The Clone Wars movie, she's just a flirty villain for Obi-Wan to quip and play off of. In the end, when she dies, she furthers a male character's character development we never even see afterward. TCW has plenty of pointless characters, don't get me wrong. But her story starts nowhere and goes nowhere, only affecting her and having no real story importance or relevance outside of that. It also means nothing. There are no repercussions to Dooku taking on an apprentice, no, uh, how do I put this. Her story is full of themes but no meaning. No underlying plotline or development that feels natural and beneficial to her character. That wouldn't be a problem if she was just a throwaway villain, coming in once in a while to flirt with Obi-Wan or fight with Ahsoka. But because of the natural interest in her, the intrigue and mystery, they gave her a story. Not even a motivation, a story that came out of nowhere and in watching back might feel like just an elaborate build-up to Maul's return. Instead of looking at the character and, idk, thinking about how you can develop her current character and the yet-unexplored background with Obi-Wan and her relationship to the Dark Side, they threw her into that whole Nightsister bullshit. And then that wasn't enough and they made her a bounty hunter because they wanted a Boba Fett & friends episode. For the love of god, if she knew about the Nightsisters, why wouldn't she go to them earlier? You didn't tell us how she found out and who told her, so why THE FUCK would she go to Dooku after her mentor's death and not to her people? What of all things made her go to Dathomir in Nightsisters? Why would an ex-dark sider with (probably) knowledge of Dooku's most secret plans who just lost the people she just found go and be a Bounty Hunter? And what about that redeems her? What the fuck was she doing on Coruscant? If she hated Dooku so much and knew she couldn't kill him alone, why would a single Jedi help her do it? What is her motive and why was she so loyal to Dooku if she's just going to throw the Dark Side and her hate for the Jedi out of the window like that? Does she have principles? Character motivations? Is there a point to any of that?

Legeneds version aside, what does she mean? Is she the last survivor? Is she a failed apprentice? Does she just want to be loved but gets consumed by the Dark Side? She's all of these things but none of them consistently. If character development happened, I'd have no problem with her character changing. But it DOESN'T. Things just happen to her and we barely see any reaction to it from her. To me, she's kind of like Thrawn if we never got the (canon) books, empty and lacking any character motivation.

In Dark Disciple, instead of expanding on the actual character, they just kept on putting her in situations. Because we don't really see her POV anywhere in the book, and she's not written to express emotion openly, she feels like she was molded to fit the story instead of the story being character-focused and following her and Quinlan's development through a situation. The only time her character feels well-written in the canon era to me (not just in a fun comic story) is in Dooku: Jedi Lost, which actually shows us her perspective for once, and even if she still lacks motivation, it feels like a story of her character and not of her action figure. She has a character and a personality throughout all of Canon, don't get me wrong. I can't accidentally write her like Ahsoka. But a character and what the writers do to put it in a story are two different things.

And I know I said I wouldn't get into the Legends part of it all, but even in a few shorts and a handful of comics, there seems to be a much more consistent line of thought and an arc to her character than there is in the canon version. The best way I can describe it, tbh, is that something just clicks with the way her story and role are in Legends, while in canon it feels like 10 different people trying to put together 15 different jigsaw puzzles. Maybe it's the fewer writers, maybe it's the different approach to story-telling in general, it's just very different to me. Right now (since a May comic issue and excluding the mention in Ahsoka), there isn't any new Asajj content, so it's not really a problem. But if they ever do something new with her I need them to get their fucking shit together and make it make sense.

[sicklittleeighties]

I don’t hear enough noise about Nicolas Cage tbh. I know tumblr is probably not the place to come for that content but it seems like everywhere is dry as hell in terms of content. I’ve had to resort to Pinterest and that’s just pics of him. Like… everyone’s got this general reverence of him and thinks of him as like some meme but I thought he’d at least have like a decent following somewhere. I know he’s not got social media so that might be a slight contributing factor, but even before I was like a huge huge fan, I was still like “oh yeah he’s like one of the pillars of my childhood” bc national treasure and sorcerers apprentice. I’ve watched like idk 12 of his movies so far and he’s a really good actor and pretty damn intelligent ngl. He loves the old monster classics and he’s got that spooky vibe so I was kind of supposed that he’s not been white boy of the month. Maybe he was back in likeeee 1980 😂 I know he got popular again during Renfield and UWOMT but the tag for him gets like 1 post a day. It just perplexes me bc he’s like a really good actor who isn’t afraid to go big or go home in movies, he’s unconventionally attractive, and he has beautiful eyes hehe. He fucking KILLED it in Mandy, Pig, Rage— even Willy’s Wonderland. That shit was better than the FNAF movie and I’m not even lying. Anywho it all probably sounds crazy so thanks for reading if you made it this far.

TLDR: Nic Cage deserves more fan love on tumblr than he gets 😭

[white-weasel]

Final Saw Saturday for new movies (until of course Saw XI comes out.) Spiral and Saw X were what we watched last night:

I can definitely see why Spiral rubbed people the wrong way and a lot of people hate it. I can also see why they had already taken a preemptive measure of marking it as separate from the other movies by naming it “Spiral: From the Book of Saw” lmao they wanted to signal that this was not your typical Saw film

It was so hard to try and separate Chris Rock from the character he was playing in Spiral. Every time he would talk I just kept hearing the voice over for everybody hates Chris or Marty from Madagascar. Not the fault of the movie, just that Chris Rock is so Chris Rock I couldn’t turn my brain off for it

The new Jigsaw voice modulation made me laugh so hard I could not take it seriously. Like obviously if I was actually in a trap I’d be scared to death hearing it but within the movie? My friend and I joked it was like the killer had his notecards for his presentation in front of class and he was really nervous and reading through them for the first time

One of the big things to this movie’s detriment is that we see the traps through flashbacks, meaning we only get to see the traps after the victims are already dead (generally) which sucks because a lot of the suspense comes from not knowing if someone will make it out or not. And even in those “unwinnable” scenarios sometimes characters still get smart and figure out a way out. We didn’t really get that in this one because of how they were brought up in the narrative

Not much to say about the actual traps themselves. None of them super stood out to me for this run

William Schenk was the most enjoyable part of this movie. His character was so silly before the reveal (even if I was able to figure it out well ahead of time). Speaking of which…

William as the killer was a good fun new angle to bring to a Jigsaw killer! If only they had actually stuck the execution!!

Like, it might be a little trite in other media, but the idea of an apprentice (though he’s not really an apprentice, just a copycat) whose traps don’t focus so much on the actual victims in them, but those who will witness the aftermath could have been a good concept. Scaring cops straight to lower corruption within the police force by essentially hanging the threat of Saw traps over them is a stellar idea and actually I’m surprised the mainline movies didn’t really discuss the idea of people maybe trying to live more “pious”/“fulfilling” lives lest they be put into traps themselves once word of what Jigsaw’s motives were got out

(Unrelated side note but I just got the idea of someone like that, someone absolutely terrified of being put into a trap and as such altering their entire life to avoid it, being put into a trap for that very reason since it’s making their life miserable. That would be great epic bad luck)

I also like that there was a level of personal obsession there, with Schenk feeling this twisted sense of loyalty to Zeke for being the “one good cop” who actually stuck his neck out in order to bring his father’s killer to justice. But idk what happened it just did not work and that’s so disappointing. Maybe if we had gotten more time on their relationship?

But also with the above point it’s not like Zeke is a particularly good cop. That one drug dealer breaks his leg and they brutalize him to interrogate him? And then the two of them just leave him? I was hoping that was gonna come back up at the end like “I looked up to you but then I realized you’re no better than all of them” and really Schenk’s whole thing in the warehouse at the end has been masterminded to kill Zeke as well but alas. Was not in the cards

I wanted to root for this movie, knowing it got shit from the fandom but unfortunately I cannot. At least Saw 3D had characters I liked even if they were doing dumb stuff for the plot lol

Saw X though? Saw X was VERY Good. Holy shit I’m so glad to be back to a good movie and that our Saw watching mission was able to end on a high note

John Kramer getting scammed was so fucking funny for no reason. Like he might be able to evade police, analyze the actions of his victims, and build super complex traps but he’s still susceptible to being swindled out of his money for snake oil

I’m surprised these people didn’t actually cut into him. I know they would never actually do brain surgery, but like at least make an incision or something guys!

The idea of Amanda having to bring Billy with her on her way to Mexico is so funny to me especially because he’s so big this movie. Like, having to check his trike at the airport and then stuffing Billy in her backpack to be her carry on? I know the TSA agents were fucking confused when they saw that on the detector

The bone marrow trap and brain surgery traps? Valentina and Mateo were stronger than me for real. The fact that they legitimately got close to winning those is insane to me because if I were them I’m just fucking dying

(My friend brought up the idea of John having to call Lawrence to ask just how survivable the brain surgery trap is and Lawrence basically being like “well TECHNICALLY you could take out a portion of your brain and survive HOWEVER-“ and then John just hanging up with him after he got the confirmation someone can live without all their brain. And that’s canon to me now)

Gabriela!!! I loved how this film gave us a character to be Amanda’s parallel, basically she sees herself before John in this woman and she wants to help Gabriela the same way she believes John helped her. And you can also see the cracks in her faith already here with her trying to take the blame off Gabriela and put it on the drugs while John reminds her that everyone has a choice which AHHHHHH so glad we got to see more of this war within Amanda explored

Along with that FUCK Cecilia holy shit. Not only killed Gabriela after she survived her trap, but then also got a little kid involved fully intended to kill him? I had just thought she was a pragmatist, I didn’t expect her to be so evil

Carlos was literally too good and innocent. The fact that John was ready to sacrifice himself completely, but he decided to take some of the blood boarding on himself was devastating. I’m glad he lived

I had predicted John and Amanda were planning on being put in the trap together the whole time, but the ending still pulled off the reveal in a satisfying and fun way! Very much enjoyed that

Obligatory “hell yeah!” For us getting to see Hoffman at the end credits scene. I was already so happy just getting to hear John call him up to talk with him, but the line “Epic bad luck” was extremely funny I loved it (as shown by my reference of it already above)

It’s definitely weird seeing all the actors older and knowing that this movie takes place between 1 and 2, like I actively had to remind myself that Amanda’s supposed to be in her 30s (and that horrible wig did nobody any favors lol) but also I’m kinda glad they didn’t do any deaging. It fits into the low budget fun of the saw movies, just the way I like it

So excited for Saw XI! Definitely plan on seeing it in theaters, hopefully opening weekend, and I’m gonna be a part of the hype train up until it’s release!

Final Saw movie ranking! (Subject to change as my whims take me of course)

Saw

Saw V

Saw VI

Saw X (this and 6 are basically tied though)

Saw II

Saw IV (this and 2 are also basically tied though and flip flop a lot)

Jigsaw

Saw III

Saw VII

Spiral

[theredwitterell]

i just flatly can't believe that anakin falls to the dark side because of the events in the movies (and to a larger extent the clone wars)

and ofc im thinking the most abt the younglings scene like anakin holds so much against the jedi council for good reason, but to some extent, obi wan has a far better reason to fall--he watches his master die at the hands of a sith apprentice while the jedi council ignores his warnings

i feel like anakin would be the one to bring balance because the jedi are so invested in the light side--there must be dark to see light

idk i found this in my drafts and like i understand that palpatine was manipulating him from the start but he spent all his time in the temple training witb obi wan, and later on the battlefield

the character flaws of like hubris and impulsivity are still there but like the catalyst in the movies is what. palpatine telling him obi wan and padme might be having an affair? that the jedi wont make him a master bc of outside forces (the senate)?

like putting aside that the clone wars tv show was a tiny bit war propaganda anakin has to have seen people in warzones where they lack self determination

ig clone wars does prime us a little for anakins mistrust of the council bc they banish ahsoka but even then that makes me feel like the logical reaction is to rail against the jedi as an institution, and not feel like you have to join the council as a master

idk as i type this i can think of so many counterarguments to my own opinion here but like still its interesting

[lily-alphonse]

For the rearepairs, we need to hear more about Caroline and Rasmodious!

Omg I love how you ask this like whats the scoop whats the goss bestie lmao

Let's talk about it!

I love them actually. It's so juicy! Like Ras was married once too! Was his ex's villain origin the fact that he cheated on her with Caroline? Was Caroline even married? Maybe she wasn’t married and she got married to Pierre BECAUSE she got pregnant! The drama is literally endless here lol.

Like also, why was the wizard even married? The life he’s chosen is a weird one, surely taxing on any partner, and he might not even be permitted to have a family if we consider the Expanded lore. The Ferngill Ministry of Magic in the Expanded mod really seems to enact quite a bit of control over wizards' lives, like determining where they will be sent and when, and taking very young apprentices from their families to start their training.

Somehow… I see the ministry having a problem with wizards getting married, and particularly two wizards getting married to each other. You might think, isn't that a good thing, they can make more wizards? But for one, it's not necessarily a genetic thing. And two, they are essentially all coworkers, and all meant to be stationed in different places where they are needed.

Like, there is only one wizard protecting all of Stardew Valley. Idk, I doubt the ministry would want two in one place for very long if the job could be handled by one, and a family might be seen as a distraction and weakness.

So let’s say Ras actually got married in secret, eloped with his darling, his witch. But if he’s a free-loving spirit why would he get hitched? I think he did love his ex enough to get married but maybe somewhere along the way he decided he wanted kids and she didn’t. Their relationship already had to stay secret and long-distance, and his wife had her own region to protect, how were they expected to care for a child?

So actually, I wonder if he might have broken up with her over that. Idk if he would have cheated on her or not. But anyway he decides he wants a taste of normalcy for once in his life. He thought he would get some of that from being married, but their marriage was nothing normal.

It was discussing work, the safety of their regions, sparring magical combat. Sometimes, if she wasn’t exhausted, they would do something normal people do like watch a movie and cuddle on the couch. But he wanted so much more of that, and he especially wanted a child.

So maybe he isn't as much of a free spirit as it seems. Like maybe that's what Caroline was enamored with, when she saw the trajectory of a simple small-town housewife looming ahead of her, but in reality the wizard wants what she has. Or, the wizard wants the fantasy of what she has.

So I guess that's the appeal for them. They both idealize the other's life and get lost in this escapist fantasy that crumbles as soon as they actually communicate. This could be such a good drama. Caroline has envisioned this whirlwind, adventurous life of travel and magic. Rasmodius just wants a simple domestic life in isolation.

It inevitably falls apart and Caroline needs someone who's actually capable of supporting her and her unborn child, so she sucks it up and marries Pierre. The wizard feels some small amount of satisfaction knowing he has a child out there now, and he does take great interest in watching over Abigail.

He gets bitter though, that he's cursed himself to this isolation. He won't try to settle down again. Two relationships squandered is two too many. He's back and forth on whether he should ever reveal himself to his daughter. He doesn't want her to end up like him, not really, though a selfish part of him wishes to see himself reflected in her.

Eventually, he takes on an apprentice from the ministry and works through some of his issues that way but that's a whooole other story lol.

There's so much potential here I LOVE it. It'd be a bad ending though so idk if many people would actually want this

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

[transfemjoker]

I ❤️ ur Joker so much can I hear ur hcs for her? 😼 also maybe some batjokes hcs sprinkled in there heh

this FANTASTIC ask has been rotting in my inbox for months so here’s my current wealth of joker hcs. written on paper. in unintelligible handwriting

im sooo normal and regular about her <3 (transcript below cut)

thinking soo hard about my au joker. he's consuming my every waking thought! he lives in my brain!

soo I talked about her a little already but he's intersex and uses he/she pronouns :) his gender doesn't really exist she just does what she wants (whatever's funniest)

anyways she looks predominantly physically male - flat-chested, long-limbed, laryngeal prominence, etc. - but his hormone balance isn't super testosterone-heavy. like she can't grow bodily or facial hair (he does have eyebrows/eyelashes and a full head of hair though) and i believe he has a set of ovaries (but he can't get pregnant lol. he's sterile and doesn't have a vagina so they're kind of just in there)

other biological quirks include faster cell growth - like wounds heal faster and hair + nail growth is sped up - she also has a VERY strong immune system and rarely ever gets sick, has weird reactions to fear toxin + ivy's pheromones (+ a lot of prescription drugs and medical anaesthetics don't really work on him), she has a ridiculously high pain tolerance but feels it really acutely (he can just deal with a lot of it), has a lot of chronic nerve pain like a constant crackling surface pain (stolen from that one LKOE dracze fic) and part of her masochistic streak relates to the fact that strong pain breaks up the nerve pain (that and marginally faulty wiring), and she for some reason has reflective retinas like an animal! which is real spooky

her bleached skin is really thin + pale and you can see a lot of veins under it so he looks like a deep sea creature → she's also incredibly emaciated and looks real skeletal - his body mass is super low + it's kind of a medical mystery that he doesn't have some kind of fatigue disorder. I think it's something to do with how his body processes and stores nutrients. idk

before her first outing as 'the joker', he used to stalk bruce around the city when he was on patrol. she did this for maybe a year, and bruce would sometimes see him stood in alleys, perched on rooftops, watching him. bruce spotted her maybe a total of 12-15 times, and kind of doubted that he wasn't just hallucinating; it would've been an eerie image - a figure, ghostly white, skeletal, dressed in a hospital gown + sporting dead eyes and a head of long, straggly green hair - and bruce had only been on the job for about 2 years so he wasn't quite as paranoid yet. when joker first came to prevalence that's when bruce realised it was her :) idk i just want him to haunt bruce in a way that he can't shake similarly to the memory of her fall at ACE

also! some details from canon that I'd like to insert: ↓

- the birthday gifts thing: I really liked that idea and think it's a very joker thing to do - she also celebrates anniversaries (eg. their first fight, bruce's first outing as batman, joker's first major crime, the incident at ACE, etc.) he's sentimental :) - his affection for crossdressing (it isn't really crossdressing in this context but. whatever the instances of it are canon) i think it's neat idk i like seeing her visibly gnc - I wanna keep the wide shapes of a lot of storylines like europa + snyder's stuff (the bench universe, dotf and endgame, etc.) + devil's advocate + joker's apprentice + maybe chunks of deadly duo + broken city + other things - might contain (while credited) some stuff from fit as well bc i'm a total loser ← currently writing fic (like two step and you're by excuse to travel by synthwave + maybe sucker for pain by transformatron + green the colour of greed by distortopia + something these angels wear and with my toes on the edge by cultivation + chunks from other stuff) idk it's kind of difficult to ascertain the speed at which i want their relationship to escalate. we'll see! i definitely want something to have happened during europa (and I'm treating that dracze fic set in the bench universe as canon) but like. they might just be trapped in perpetual hell like in the comics. thanks bruce's morality - i also want to note that in this au literally most everything else is the same as in canon. I'm gonna be drawn to include my headcanons for all the characters and whatever but the batfamily is still constructed the same + jace still dies and babs is still paralysed + the JL is still established + at its core it's still the same thing :) while i'm here i want say though that it's likely i'll take the telltale route with bruce's parents having mob ties because i think that throws a fun moral wrench in the works for him to deal with - much of my interpretation of the joker is based on a grant morrison's interpretation of him. morrison is such a majorly influential writer for me and their description of joker in the arkham asylum cut script notes was tbh my major inspiration for this version of joker :) like that thing they said: "pale and emaciated, he should look simply grotesque but standing there, hand on thrust-out hip, he projects an absolute confidence that confers upon him a bizarre kind of attractiveness and sexuality. it is the attraction of the perverse and the forbidden." - btw. i wanna make a point to include matches malone in my canon. bruce actively uses the matches persona :)

i wanted to detail her weird physical appearance mostly for the sake of the image of him in Arkham; no makeup, no costume, no way for her to dress himself up. he struggles a lot with her image + not feeling attractive or desirable (very 'if i gave up on being pretty i wouldn't know how to be alive') and arkham makes him very unstable because he has no way of controlling the way he's seen

he also has a prosthetic eye like in the comics :) i'd like to think she lost her eye in an altercation with bruce and it helps tie bruce's morality to the joker - whenever bruce sees him, it reminds him of how much harm he causes. lol! i LOVE torturing bruce he's such an interesting character giggles :)

btw for the record i'd also like to state that i consider bruce and joker's relationship to be inherently sadomasochistic in nature. considering joker's canonically a masochist and gets off on what bruce does to him + bruce recognises this and continues to pursue her just the same. they're SO interesting to me

i also believe the thing from the comics about joker's worldview; that she believes he and batman are the only real people in the whole universe. i think it provides such an interesting perspective on his actions - (in that context) he crucially doesn't see the people he kills as people, but rather like. tools. symbols. i think it really communicates the central conflict of his character idk i think it's interesting

on a less deep note, he has a thing for clothing and makeup. she has HEAPS of it stored in warehouses + stuff. he's really good at concealing her safehouses so a lot of it goes undiscovered. he gets his foundation from japanese theatre companies bc they're the only places that do it light enough lol. also important to note that he wears garters + sock suspenders + shirt stays + corseting + structured undergarments + heels + super complex layers of clothing. he prides herself on the craft of it :)

she really takes pride in her performance + the way she's seen - her whole life, his whole career is one big performance. there's very little underneath 'the joker'. he doesn't know who she is, he has no life before bruce, no name, no identity, nothing outside of her fixation on the batman. he was ther at ACE that night (she believes he is - or at least his negligence is - what made her) and joker really clings to batman as a point of stability and focus because, unlike bruce, he has nothing outside of his persona. the batman is bruce wayne (shocker) - he has a life, people he loves - but joker has nothing. that's part of the reason joker's so desperate to ignore that bruce has a 'real identity' and is so defensive of people discovering it; as well as meaning the destruction of batman, it would also remove joker of her ability to deny that there is a person behind batman. he wants so badly to believe that this is all bruce has - that HE is all bruce has - just as is true for him. beneath it all, she just wants to be loved. she just wants to not be alone.

sigh! that was a lot! i don't wanna make him just a deep, dark, brooding character that's BORING that's bruce's job lol. loser. anyways she can be silly too he has whimsy in her soul as well :) i believe soo intensely in DC's ability to be a silly universe because it's inherently so stupid as a concept so to me silly guy joker is real <3 they can have fun

joker getting roped in on justice league stuff is soo personal to me let her be helpful let him make fun of the JL and their stupid missions :)

btw. for future reference he is in no way attracted to women (sorry yuri joker) his relationship with harley (+ MAYBE punchline. strong maybe. only as his protégé) is PURELY manipulative and joker NEVER thought of or treated her sexually or romantically. there's still gonna be animosity there though lol because he still abused and manipulated harley and she still thought joker loved her, but the fact remains that he isn't even vaguely attracted to women so! idc punchline likers so somewhere else lol

another thing from canon (devil's advocate) i'd like to steal is the fact that joker sleeps with his henchmen :) it's real to me

she has a lot of silly pseudo-crushes on a lot of other characters (like lex luthor + bane + lobo + killer croc + superman + what have you. he's a slut what can i say) but none of them will EVER be bats! they know their place and it's NOT in murder-suicide love with her

kicks feet idk i have so many thoughts about joker even though i feel so cringe writing them down. idgaf this is important work

[swashbucklery]

What do you think of Baylan and Shin's relationship?

Oh anon to be honest like - bewildered? I don't know.

Like, I am currently rewatching, and I guess Baylan's Whole Plan kind of makes sense? But also. . .it doesn't? He wanted to stand on a giant statue of whatever like part of the Force Holy Trinity or something (?) and that was going to lead him to power to save the Jedi, maybe? Or solve the cycle of birth and death? Or stop all wars? WHATEVER, DAVE.

(But also - the ~significance~ of the statues in ep 8 is only clear if you have watched a minimum of 3 recap youtube videos or a shitton of animated series episodes so does it count? Like if I'm going on the TV they explained in the actual TV show - traditionally the way one watches tv - he just went all the way to Peridea to go for a nice hike, and good for him I guess?? Best hike ever??)

So IDK that i have a lot of strong opinions about Baylan directly, except that I'm frustrated by how little the show tells us about what his whole deal is. When it comes to his relationship with Shin, I think - like not to put too fine a point on it but I think pedagogically the whole Jedi master-apprentice thing seems to have a lot to answer for, just broadly as a system of learning. I know we're supposed to be like Ah Yes, Masters Are Great Teachers but just because the narrative says it like.

Okay, so you, a weirdo who can hear the vibrations of the universe and can use it to punch people but don't, live a solitary lifestyle where you have eschewed all temptations and do sword practice two hours a day. You are given a random magic orphan. And you're supposed to just. . .try your best to make them precisely as weird as you are. Except you are living in a society with constant war, so half of your supervisors were like. . .evil, or murdered, or adopted the weird sword people lifestyle because of deep society-upheaving trauma. Also you're admittedly not great with kids or doing anything but meditating and sword practice. Also, if you do a bad job this weird orphan might turn into a mass murderer???

That relationship is inherently weird.

It just is. I know it's the backbone of Star Wars, I'm not saying it's bad, I'm not saying Star Wars is bad, but I think that accepting the Jedi Pedagogy wholeheartedly without a little bit of light mockery just isn't possible.

What I think is more interesting is how that relationship, in its weird little glory, affects Shin. Because we see like - whatever that dynamic, whether Baylan is good or bad at Weird Not-Sith Not-Jedi School, she is determined to be an A student. She gets frustrated when she loses. She's hungry. She's proud to be a good Padawan and has a lot of curiosity about what it would feel like to have more - more connections, more people to train with, more power.

And so Baylan and Shin's relationship is really interesting to me as a tool to highlight those desires of Shin's, and as a way of exploring who she might be as a person when she's not having homoerotically-charged duels.

[druid-delaluna]

ASC Thunder Spoilers

Okay first of, yippie Squirrelstar but holy shit she is very old to be a leader, and yes I know the running theory is she lying and didn't get her 8 (or less lives, I don't think we know how many lives Bramblestar has left) but I don't really believe that theory because Bramblestar looks WAYYYY to comfortable to be going along with that lie and I doubt she lie to both him and the clan. Plus starclan did talk to her as they told her Nightheart was leaving on a quest, so something happened that night. She is a tad war monger but like...this kinda fits all new leaders wanting to quickly fix the problems from the last leader (usually leaders die during fights, idk why people are acting like Squirrelstar is the weird one to continue that trend??) Either way, I'm interested in what going to happen and if anyone will die in the battle. Frostpaw got spayed. So they are for sure making her a medicine cat and didn't want any of that med cats can't have kits nonsense this time around. Plus she most likely got vaccinated, similar to Millie so she is now more immune to disease. Idk why there a theory she going to become leader when she needs to have an apprentice (she would be breaking a rule), she is way too young and inexperienced and future chapters in the book really are pushing her to become a good med cat. Nightheart is a good read, he kinda got strung along without really knowing what was going on but he still care for and protected Frostpaw. I think there still room in his character arc as he did come to also prove himself, his own cat and not under Firestar shadow but lol. Sunbeam is finding a found family/friends in TC and she seems to really be adjusting even with some TC cats being pricks. Her trails so far have been fair and she manages to pass them without much issue BUT BUT we know that the third trail, like Nightheart, might fail on purpose because something is brewing in SC, as her father told her Brambleberry plan might keep her from having to go to RC at all, so she can come home. Her reasoning for leaving beside Nightheart was that she didn't like going to RC to watch them. So interestingggg, also Nightheart isn't there to support her, so she is on her own. So far, its a solid traveling book. I'm curious with the murder mystery plot and how that affects all the other clans.

[galaxyfcrged]

Wishlist for Padme:

I have a verse for Padme set in the era of SW:ToR. She is married to Anakin, who is an apprentice of Kenobi. She is a member of the Sith Senate. At some point Anakin challenges Kenobi & loses. She and her newborns are in a precarious position & she needs plots with allies or enemies!

Threads set during her time as Queen. Any threads.

Threads developing her relationships with canon characters such as her handmaidens or any of the Jedi, Senators, councilman, anybody she interacts with during her time in the Senate. There’s so many scenes and steps in relationships with everyone we ever see her with on screen or on the pages that are just waiting to be fleshed out.

Palpatine. Any interactions with him from trusted friend and ally to nominee to hmm well maybe somethings not right here to fml he is everything Padme has been fighting to stop and she was instrumental in putting him into power.

Force sensitive aus. (?) No specific thoughts here. Maybe she and Ani meet at the temple instead of Tatooine cause she’s a padawan already? Idk. Endless possibilities.

AU where she survived, her death was staged, she goes into hiding and begins working to form a resistance. Lots of possibilities here from being captured and turned over to Vader or the Emperor or whomever, to accidentally running into Leia or Luke during their childhoods or adolescent years somehow, or ??? Hit me up with whatever.

AU where she was brought back by Vader or maybe even someone with good intentions but she’s not quite normal? Missing memories, disjointed, darker aspects of her personality coming through. Potential for dark side plot points maybe she came back tainted and corrupted and had access to dark side powers? Dark side power couple? Resurrected bride with a need for vengeance who turns against Ani? Or joins him in secret to overthrow the emperor and rule the galaxy? Again - lots of options.

AU where she survived but had amnesia - various options here including living a perfectly happy life in the outer planets somewhere oblivious to the trauma of her past until someone recognizes her & turns her in for a bounty or - whatever. Options.

AU where she survives, stages her death and she and Obi take the twins and go into hiding.

Threads / plots during the end of the prequel series as she begins to have her doubts about the Senate et al and sees the democracy crumbling - her concerns about Palpatine etc - her potentially scheming with Separatists and becoming an ally - I think some Clone Wars stuff touched on this but it’s been a while since I’ve watched the series so I’m not 100%. But yeah. Her potentially joining with the Separatists & whatever that might entail plot wise with different people.

AU where instead of Ani & Padme she ends up in a secret romance with Obi. Overall I think most major plot points would stay the same on a galactic level. Palpatine would just use that to turn Anakin against Obi for stealing what should’ve been his, betraying the code etc etc. The showdown would probably just be Anakin vs Obi without Padme so she wouldn’t die just probably go on the run with Obi after?

Any plots that involve somehow using her as leverage against Anakin before Mustafar or like as leverage against Vader etc in aus where she’s survived or brought back bc? Angst?

AU where she and Obi convince Anakin to tell the Council the truth; the truth about Palpatine is brought to light. Padme is elected as Chancellor after Palpatine is defeated. Anakin leaves the Jedi on mostly good terms and starts a small academy for grey / balanced force training with the intent to help force users who do not want to be Jedi (or sith) control their abilities without becoming controlled by them etc. the twins stay primarily at the academy.

An AU where Obi / the Jedi / etc manages to reveal Palpatine’s true nature & he is overthrown. Still turmoil but not nearly as much & the Empire is thwarted. Anakin resigns and he and Padme move back to Naboo to raise the children.

I’ll add more as I think of them.

[the-gayest-show]

S4E1: Day of the Sorcerers Review/Analysis

So recently I got to this episode in the show and not going to lie, I LOVED IT!

I’ve always been a sucker for Cedric’s character and his arc, so it was nice to see this episode essentially become some kind of turning point for Cedric, at least in the bigger sense. It was established as far as episodes like Cedric’s Apprentice and Cedric Be Good that Cedric isn’t without a heart, and this episode is the ultimate dilemma for him, choosing between good and evil, taking over the kingdom or succumbing to his more developed self. God I had some good emotions out of this.

So the episode starts off with the Day of the Sorcerer’s festival, where Sofia is invited to as Cedric’s apprentice to help perform spells. This all takes place in Hexley Hall, where we previously met Grimtrix who tried to steal Sofia’s amulet in Hexley Hall, the episode (confusing, I know). Sofia worries that this time he might make another run for the amulet, but Cedric says he probably won’t due to the various people there.

We get some nice scenes, one of them foreshadows the Mystic Isles (an episode pack/miniseries [?] I have not seen yet but I know Mystic Isles is gonna be relevant soon because I looked at the episode titles on Disney+ already) as this place where magic comes from, and I guess that princess from Wei-Ling and Wu-Chan are also there. Wu-Chan makes sense but honestly idk why they bothered to include the princess for like 3 seconds since they literally never speak of her again after that scene. Maybe when Sofia is running for the secret room but that’s literally it?

Then Grimtrix’s weasel appears and subverted my expectations almost immediately by NOT going for Sofia’s amulet. Like believe me, I was fully expecting the long creature to just swipe that girl’s amulet but the creature just spawns an envelope, likely Grimtrix doing the spawning, with an invitation to some secret greatest sorcerer’s meeting that she gives to Cedric. Cedric, being the guy who bends over backwards at the chance to be called anything but insults, immediately runs for it, and Cedric follows the Shusher ghost thing into that room. Looking back, shouldn’t that have been clear evidence to Cedric that Grimtrix is involved? As far as I was convinced (confirmed properly by the scene where the Shusher traps the good wizards in the library), the Shusher is literally just a 2nd hand of Grimtrix. Shouldn’t that have been a clear sign? I suppose Cedric could’ve overlooked that in his excitement, but I knew from the start that maybe Grimtrix was coercing Cedric into it simply bc the hand was there, can’t get it off my mind ya know? Anyways.

Sofia, wondering where Cedric has gone, follows him into that secret sorcerer meeting, where we find out that Grimtrix is leading the pack (of course he is, I called it!) but we also see villains like that music guy, merlin’s enemy, Greylock, among others. There’s always benefits in watching absolutely every single episode of Sofia the First it seems. Basically, they’ve invented something called the Order of the Wand (most badass name ever btw!) where it’s just a coalition planning to overthrow the royalty of their respected palaces, saying that they refuse to be treated like jesters and entertainers, essentially saying they’re wiser to rule the kingdoms than the current rulers.

Cedric is kinda sitting there processing this, it’s a dream come true! The one thing he’s wanted since season 1, handed to him by the power of the medusa stone! But we see he’s clearly hesitant, due to the aforementioned character development led by Sofia herself. Speaking of Sofia, she overhears that whole plan and wonders what Cedric is even doing there or why Grimtrix would call him for a meeting of evil sorcerers, which leads to a scene where we almost get Cedric confessing to his various stealing attempts but he just kinda shoos her out and gets on with it.

We get THE MOST. FUCKASS MUSICAL NUMBER. EVER!!!!!!!!! Like Jess Harnell my bro THOSE VOCALS WERE SO RAW!!!!! NOT TO MENTION THE VISUALS?!??!?! IT WAS AMAZING!!! The electric guitar in the BG was unexpected and was so good damn it. I really like how you can see Sofia’s dark purple-y shadow (of goodness I would presume) looming around him, and generally the movements and animation, VIVID. The way he threw all those people aside! The scenes with him in the chair! Ackk I love it! SYMBOLISM!!!

I personally see this song as the spiritual successor to Cedric the Great The themes of both songs tie together perfectly, going from a very confident “I am going to take over this kingdom someday, this is me imagining what I’ll do when that happens” to “I have the opportunity to take over the kingdom and achieve my dreams but something feels wrong now”. Also, the note he sang that final lyric “Cedric the great” in this song sounded literally the same as from the original Cedric the Great song, that’s what got me thinking this to begin with. Throughout the song, Wormwood (successfully) argues that while Sofia was nice to him, everyone else wasn’t, and thus everyone else should get the karma, while Cedric wonders if maybe taking over the kingdom isn’t exactly what he’s wanted, now that he has the chance to do it for real.

Cedric also talks about how people had made fun of him ever since he was a kid, and I believe that’s essentially the entire reason why he’s ever wanted to take over the kingdom. Sure, power is a bonus, but he’s always had magical power, but he’s never had someone who believed in him. To me, it’s been quite clear since the beginning that his main motivation was not truly power, but rather respect and authority, someone who can’t be made fun of. While other members in the Order of the Wand want the power and control of being Kings/Queens of their respective castles, Cedric seems to want the respect and dignity. Even in the musical number Cedric the Great, it’s obvious that that’s his main goal. Lyrics in that song like “…But that won’t last for long”, “those who used to tease me will be at my command” and “Soon everyone will know my name” feels more motivated by wanting to be known, and living up the expectations of the royal sorcerer family.

My Evil Dreams lyrically contrasts with “But now the day has come… so why am I so gloomy…”, “but I’m not sure I want them to”. I also like the lyrics about his dreams being his friends when he was alone and his schemes making him feel like he had a home. So essentially there’s the crux of him being evil: filling the void of no friends (because of how bullied he was) and no home (yeah I wouldn’t have a home either if my own parents and family didn’t fucking believe in me). In Sofia, he essentially found those things (home is a debatable one but friends for sure), which makes the evil stuff like a coping mechanism for him being alone. If that’s so, then someone like Sofia who filled that void of evil schemes and dreams, brought him some new purpose, to an extent. Should he go back to his old ways or revel in the new is the question, and it’s VERY compelling.

Over the rest of the episode, we get to see Cedric taking over the kingdom, and then there’s this scene where Sofia spies Cedric talking and laughing to Grimtrix, who tells him good luck with the kingdom takeover or something. Sofia confronts him and Cedric, having already made up his mind, admits to Sofia that he’s always wanted to go through with the plans of taking over the kingdom and Wormwood even adds the bit that Cedric has been plotting to steal that amulet from the beginning, something I was wondering when it’d happen (in universe it’s been 3-4 years now HOW has no one gotten the hint before?). Cedric ultimately says that Sofia and Cedric were never friends and runs off to freeze people with his Medusa stone.

He goes and freezes basically every guard and royal he spots, and changes up the décor a bit (honestly he’s got some great style choices), but Sofia is determined as ever to stop him. I really like that scene where she floats in on a broom and Cedric points the wand at her and tries to freeze her but is so hesitant that he lets her grab the wand. Like I said before, he still doubts his decision to take over the kingdom, if not for the fear of hurting the only other person who’s ever really seen him in a positive light.

Eventually, once his stone is destroyed, everyone unfreezes and Cedric is so cooked, as the kids say. The guards seize him and jail him immediately, which is pretty understandable for an act of treason like that. Sofia, however, is still determined to see the best in him because she saw that he was willing to not freeze her, so that means he must have a good heart in there somewhere. She encourages him to take the stand against Grimtrix and that he does. He frees himself and Wormy (RIP Wormy’s head, bro was head bashed into the ground for freedom’s sake, oof), and goes out to fight Grimtrix. Grimtrix, thinking Cedric was on his side, gave him the wand, thinking Cedric would finish Sofia off, but he double-crosses him and freezes Grimtrix instead, and essentially the plot of that ends.

But then we cut to Cedric on his knees begging for forgiveness (funniest shit ever tbh), and you could tell he was really sorry, but the royal family was hesitant to accept the apology, considering what happened. Sofia basically brings up Amber and her development (yippee Amber arc mention woohoo). Excuse me if I’ve forgotten how, but the royal family just figured out his backstory and realized, yeah, maybe we shouldn’t be belittling the guy who works for us and has a history of being belittled. History aside, yeah they’d serve to be a bit nicer, it took them fuck knows how long to come to that conclusion.

After all that, they let him in to work for the kingdom again, but on the condition that Cedric remembers that Sofia is the only reason he was even let back in and that he wasn’t just banished forever. Bro totally owns that debt to Sofia like he wouldn’t believe.

Essentially that’s the end of the episode. Overall, one of the best episodes in this series and everything about it is so, so noteworthy. I would rewatch this episode again. 1000000000/10, purple robed man did it, he fucked my psyche for real this time.

Shout out to the amazing writing of this arc and this episode that had me bawling over a show made for the 2-7 year old demographic...again!