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theyhavetakenovermylife · 2 months

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Just Friends (Angst) (Slight 18+)

Mirage!Raphael x reader

A/N: Just an idea I’ve been playing around with for some time. It has a pretty open and maybe even a bit sad ending, because that’s what I felt like today, lol😂❤️

All characters are aged up.

Warnings: Mentioning of sex, conflicting emotions, fear of loss, failed discussions about relationship titles, unconfessed feelings.

It started out as a distraction. A way for Raphael to forget the cruel world around him and his brothers. A way for him to get some much needed release of his pent up frustrations, that just wouldn’t leave his body, no matter how hard he trained, or how hard he punched a Foot ninja.

It started one night when he came to your apartment, looking for you, one his best friends, who was filling to leant him an ear, so he could ramble out about his anger and all of his fears, along with the things that was building up, only making him more stressed and upset. But that night was different. Raph was more than stressed and angry. He was shaky, unsure of himself, and he wanted nothing more than for you to listen to him, and maybe even hug him. Anything to release the burden that had been put on his shoulders.

Once at your place, sitting with you on your couch, he told you everything. Master Splinter had decided it was time to exact revenge on Oroku Saki, the Shredder, and has tasked Raphael with delivering the message the next day.

Raph had been training for his all his life. He had always known this day would come, yet he was nervous, with an unease growing inside of him. Raphael was scared.

It was during this emotional confession, that something snapped inside of Raph. He wasn’t sure where it came from, but as soon as Raph had admitted to his fears, his lips were one yours in a heated feverish kiss, your tongues clashing together in a sloppy dance, with lewd sounds escaping both of your mouths. That night Raph fucked you into pillows of your couch, pounding out everything that had build up inside of him, replacing it with immense pleasure for both of you.

The next night, after having delivered the message to the Shredder, Raph came to your apartment through the window once again. Once entering through your window, he said nothing. He did not answer your question of how it went, instead he pulled you in for another kiss, just as heated as the night before, this time moving the two of you into your bedroom. And from that point, it kept going, almost every other night when Raph would feel some sort of overwhelming feeling. Even the night before, and the night after Raph and his brothers battle against the Shredder, he came to your apartment, seeking out a moment of pleasure to work through his thoughts, or maybe even leave them behind for a moment.

But even though you and Raph’s friendship took a physical turn, there was no admission of any feelings. Raph never gave any notice of any feelings towards you, and you never gave any notice for any feelings towards Raph. And neither did the two of you let Raph’s family know what you got up to. Whenever they would ask what you had been up to, you and Raph would answer with a simple “just talking”.

But as time went on, you couldn’t stop your mind from racing, bringing up one question after another. Were you into Raph? Was he into you? Were you two a thing now? Did Raph think you two were a thing? Or were you just hoping for Raph to think so? And as Raph came over one more night, those thoughts ran through your head, only giving you peace for a moment, when Raph descended upon you with open mouth kisses, and firm hands grabbing onto your thighs, carrying you to your bed with the intention of rocking your world yet another night. And so he did, like he did any other night.

That night, Raph brought you one earthquaking orgasm after another with nothing but his tongue, leaving you whimpering in pleasure, unable to string together a full sentence. Raph had simply growled at this, before turning you over on your stomach, forcing you up on your knees, before slamming his member into you, holding your arms up behind your back, using your own weight to bounce back against him. The loud slapping for your skin echoing through the room, with nothing but Raph’s names leaving your lips.

It didn’t take long in this position, before both you and Raph came, collapsing onto the bed, breathing heavily in order to catch your breath. You turned onto your side to face Raph, your legs shaking as you moved, having gotten weak from Raph’s hard thrusting. Raph was already getting comfortable on your bed, offering you part of the blacket he had already draped over himself. You took the offer, sliding under the blanket, trying not to make your weak legs hurt more than they already did.

“Ya okay?”, Raph asked, noticing you wince as you moved.

“Yeah”, you said, biting back a pained sound as you flopped down next to him. “Just well spent”.

Raph chuckled with a smug smile, placing his hands behind his head, resting back against your pillow with a satisfied self pleased sound. “What can I say? I got skills”.

You chuckled along, always having found Raph’s comments entertaining. But your chuckles soon died out, when you remembered the many concerns that had been plaguing your mind. You took another look at Raph, seeing how he had closed his eyes, most likely trying to relax enough, until he would fall asleep. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of the questions that had been going through your head, finally deciding to have a talk with Raph about it. He was your friend after all.

“Uhm… Raph”, you started, playing with your fingers as you started to get nervous.

“Yeah?”, Raph asked, still not opening his eyes, looking as peaceful as ever.

“If you don’t mind me asking”, you said, taking a moment to think through your next words, causing Raph to open his eyes, only to be shocked at your next words. “What are we?”

Raph was somewhat shocked by your question. It was not one he had thought you would ask him. He would be lying if he said he had never thought about it, but it certainly wasn’t something he felt ready to think more about.

“We’re friends, aren’t we, (Y/N)?”, he answered confusedly with a question of his own, feeling a slight fear grow inside of him. This was definitely not a conversation he felt ready for.

“Okay, so we are friends with benefits?”, you asked, causing a slight reaction of disdain from Raphael. That was not a title he liked, especially not with you. You were his best friend, and worth so much more. But the “friends with benefits” title sounded demeaning to him, like he thought you were something else than a friend of his.

“(Y/N), why are we talking about this?”, Raph asked, sitting up straight, a slight look of irritation written over his face. “I don’t see you as a “friends with benefits”, so why are you asking?”

“Then what do you see me as?”, you asked, growing slightly irritated yourself. “I’m asking because I don’t know. I can’t read your mind”.

Raph’s mind was racing. He came to you, who he would consider his best friend, for support and a place he could relax his mind. Sure, your friendship had taken a drastic physical turn, but he was not ready to have this kind of conversation, especially not when he did not know what tomorrow would bring, or if the nature of his dangerous and strange life would even let him survive for that long. This was not what he needed right now.

“I have to go”, was all Raph said, before getting up from the bed, heading towards your window, ignoring your shocked expression.

“What the hell, Raph?!”, you asked, moving yourself to the edge of the bed, letting the blanket fall from your naked body. “You can’t just leave like that!”

“Yes I can”, Raph said, opening your window before swinging a leg out on your fire escape.

“Please, Raph”. Your whimpering came as a surprise to both you and Raph. Neither of you and expected such a pained plea to leave your body. “Why can’t you tell me?”

Raph swallowed, before looking at you for a moment, his throat growing a little tighter at the side of you, naked on your bed, fighting tears that was pushing from behind your eyes. It was heartbreaking. Raph felt horrible, like he had hurt you on purpose.

“I don’t know”, Raph said, feeling his mouth dry out. “I need time to think. See you around, (Y/N)”. And with those words he left out of your window, climbing your fire escape before running over the roof, heading towards the lair. He felt a pain in his heart, remembering your pained expression when he disappeared out the window, wishing to do nothing more, than to return to you, and give in to all the feelings that had been going through him, ever since he first realized his growing feelings for you. But Raph wasn’t ready. He simply wasn’t in a state, where he trusted himself enough to take your relationship any further. He feared hurting you, and he feared losing you. He feared that if something were to happen to him, you would be pained. Or that something would happen to you, do to what his father had trained him for. So for the moment being, you were just friends. When Raph’s brothers asked, he would always answer the same. Just friends. Just friends till he finally wasn’t scared anymore.

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