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#monkey's paw bullshit
viviantimmet · 1 year
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Dream Journal 6/15/2023:
there is an orange and white ball python behind the bookshelf. I feed it, and take a photo, where you can see the two geckos it has swallowed beneath its skin. Wait What? But I had to give Koy away! On a second glance, it is just a giant lizard, which is fine, sometimes there are giant lizards. PSYCHE there's both, the snake has just left. It is perhaps some offspring of Koy (that is never something I question too deeply in my snake dreams). It is crawling about, leaving bloody streaks on the floor(??!!). Its movement is weaving and wobbly, its head at an odd angle, sort of collapsed. The blood is from its heatpits, smeared down its chin and belly. Dad appears in the hallway. We converse. The snake looks more and more broken. I assent to putting it out of its misery. Dad holds it down by the neck and crushes its misshapen skull beneath his heel.
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talentforlying · 4 months
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john and his niece going for a walk, arm-in-arm, so gemma can confide in him about her ghost problem without worrying her mum......i'm severely unwell about them.
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bonzai-bunny · 1 month
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Well good news is I will probably get a four day weekend bad news it's bc I probably have pink eye :/
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ogniemimieczem · 2 years
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If I have to see this then so do you
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multitrackdrifting · 9 months
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i get my laughs in but honestly i feel more like this knowing how awkward it is to associate with project moon in any way
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libidinous-weeb · 2 years
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just got caught up on tr and uh hey, what the fuck?? is that…seriously the explanation? for everything? a magical old man who lives under a bridge..like are u srs?
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greasydoghole · 2 years
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I'm cursed to forever be pretty but never look good in a camera photo
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annamariedarkholmes · 2 years
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me if anna’s rogue and halle’s storm and lana’s jubilee are brought back for the mcu secret wars multiverse stuff only to stay supporting background fodder while that instant oatmeal-ass love triangle, both xaviers, and both magnetos suck up all the screentime yet again
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fractallogic · 2 years
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okay i have booked almost all of my trip to CO except for the airbnb and that is because I remembered that I can get mom's bf's sister to potentially come down at the same time and SHARE THE AIRBNB COST WITH ME so here's hoping for a very affordable trip to see my dying mother
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captain--poseidon · 4 months
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landed a job that has potential to make good money, but also kinda sucks. had an interview for job that makes less, but i really want to do. they said that they’ll call back late this week, and now it’s friday and i still haven’t heard anything and im lowkey freaking out
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ase-trollplays · 1 year
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wtf I can add a poll when answering an ask but literally nowhere else????
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seesboy · 1 year
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(through grated teeth) i am capable of getting through this class. my group is fine. i am not going to go crazy.
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My gums hurt and now I'm teething like a toddler 😒
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cowboysandunicorns · 2 years
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Smh at all these people summoning ghosts and demons to bring back their dead loved ones when they could be using them as beta readers, dungeon masters, or life drawing models
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marzipanandminutiae · 8 months
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okay the Sargent exhibit was fun but
what is this
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like
what sort of monkey's paw bullshit
I said I wanted the MFA to be normal about corsets, not rebrand Corsets Bad into Corsets Good Because Women Suffering For Beauty (which is totally what corsets do guys!!!) Means We're Strong
the sitters in the paintings don't look elegant and comfortable because they're. I don't know. badass enough to handle horrible evil corsets. they look comfortable because they either are, or they're putting up with discomfort temporarily to be high-fashion in their Sargent portraits and they get to change into everyday clothes relatively soon
also "corsets aren't supposed to be uncomfortable" to "corsets are so 'formidable' that women had to be incredibly strong to wear them" is a weird contradiction
I just. I never thought I'd encounter a hot new take that corsets were Evil and that's Good, Actually
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hellfirenacht · 2 months
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Reader ==> Have Lunch With Hellfire Club
Isekai Chronicles Master List
START HERE <<<--- FIRST CHAPTER HERE
Fic Summery: Through no powers of your own, you end up in Hawkins 1985, in a tv show that you once saw on Netflix. Slow burn, Eddie Munson x Reader will be canon, choose your own adventure to a degree, monkey’s paw author.
Chapter Summery: You sneak into Hawkins High to have lunch with Hellfire Club.
Tags: Eddie and Reader, sfw, Reader is on her period, reader is also just a little horny and touch starved but nothing really happens with that.
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Reader ==> Have Lunch With Hellfire Club
"Ow'' You hissed, laying your head down on the cool table. You had been doubled over for 10 seconds and most of the club looked at you with concern.
"Uh... You good, Lipton?" Jeff asked.
You winced, from both the cramp and what he'd called you. Why did no one at this school use first names? It was already hard enough responding to a false name to begin with, even after memorizing the information on your new kinda-fake ID card. Thanks, Murray.
"Just dying. It's fine, I'll live." You groaned, and forced yourself to sit up and look down the table at Eddie, passed Mike and Dustin. "Got any painkillers?" You asked.
"None that would help you." Eddie shrugged.
"Ah, lovely." You laid your head back down as another cramp shot through your uterus.
It was the last day of school before Hawkins High went on fall break. You had snuck over to the school to have lunch with Eddie and the rest of Hellfire Club. Currently, all of you were sitting outside, enjoying one of the last warm days before the cold set in. Out here, none of the teachers would see you all, and even if they did, they wouldn’t take note of one extra person who shouldn’t be on school grounds anyway. Besides, it’s not like it was your first time sneaking into the school, as it had become a habit over the past few weeks as you made yourself a part of Hellfire. 
By this time next week you’d be set up in the small trailer on the opposite end of the same trailer park that Eddie lived. Just a few more days and you could finally move out of Benny’s and you could stop dealing with stupid jocks and bugs and all the other bullshit that came with being a squatter.  
"What's wrong with you?" Asked Gareth.
"Alphabetically or chronologically?” your voice was deadpan and muffled from being pressed against the old picnic table. “And how much time do you have?" 
You wondered briefly what “chronologically” even meant with you. Would you start chronologically in a direct timeline starting in 1895? Or maybe you’d start at the year you were born and loop back around. 
"She can't be in too much pain if she's still a smartass," snorted Jeff.
"You're laughing. A party member is bleeding to death and you're laughing." The cramp subsided and you sat up again.
"Gross." Muttered Gareth.
"I bleed for days at a time and survive. Get on my level" you hissed.
"Level 5?" Jeff shot back. "You're still behind us, even with Henderson's help."
"Motherfucker I swear-"
"Hey now, no need to fight" Dustin piped up, looking between everyone with concern. "We're all stressed because of midterms, we don't need to take it out on each other."
You closed your mouth and backed down. You didn’t mind the occasional fight with Gareth, honestly you almost enjoyed it when he picked a fight with you because it meant you could blow off some steam. But Dustin was currently your only real friend, and you weren’t going to risk pissing him off. That kid was the only one to try and figure out how you ended up here anyway. 
Plus, he’d been running some one on one adventures with you between Hellfire meetings. With Eddie insisting that all new players start at level 1 no matter what the party was at, Dustin had convinced him to let him do some smaller adventures to help you try and catch up with everyone else. Sometimes Mike and Lucas would even join in. 
"Just ignore me." You sighed. "I'll live even if it kills me." You looked at the uneaten sandwich in front of you. The idea of eating it made you feel gross even if you were hungry. You grabbed it and tossed it down the table in front of Eddie who looked at you with a cocked eyebrow.
"Don't want it. You eat it." you mumbled, forehead against the table again. You were starting to feel like you should have just stayed at Benny’s until it was actually time for Hellfire.
"You gonna be okay to play tonight?" Eddie asked. "Or do you need us to find a sub for you?"
You shook your head. "I'll be there." You promised. "I'll just hit up Robin or someone for some aspirin before the game and I'll be fine. Might not be the most talkative-"
"That'd be a first." Muttered Jeff.
You flipped him off. "I'll be there. I can still roll dice as well at anyone here."
Eddie grinned. "Good, and I'm not gonna go easy on any of you tonight."
"Do you ever?" Mike laughed.
"Yeah, you've always been tough on us, but Cult of Vecna has been your most sadistic campaign yet." agreed Jeff.
"That's because this is my year." Eddie said. "I'm gonna graduate and I'm going out with a bang." Eddie drummed on the table with his hands, revved up now. The vibrations of his drumming echoed through your head and you sat up again.
He stood up, the sandwich left forgotten for the moment. You watched him, and the way he moved was like a full-on rainstorm. Eddie only ever seemed to have two modes, 'on' and 'off'.
He was very much on now.
There was a fire in his eyes that had burned you for the past month since you'd been invited to Hellfire. Your initial attraction to a fictional character turned coworker had burst into a full blown genuine crush. In the autumn air, his cheeks were flushed red from the cold and his natural excitement, and his hair was flying everywhere. Even with Eddie circling the table as he bragged about his campaign to the members your heart felt like it might leap out of your chest, distracting you from the other organs inside you that were ripping themselves apart.
A firm hand grasped you at the crook of your neck, and you tensed slightly at Eddie's touch, your mind blanked for a moment as he made physical contact with you.
Eddie was... Very handsy. He wasn't afraid to grapple, wrestle, grab, and generally put his hands on his fellow Hellfire members. Eddie had picked up Dustin and Mike by the shirt collars and pushed them more times than you had bothered counting. 
This however, was the first time he had laid a hand on you. You held your breath as you tried to ignore the shiver that slid down your spine and into your core. You didn’t dare let anyone see that this had any effect on you. 
‘Not the time, self.’ you scolded yourself.
Eddie gave you a shake, which changed that warmth in your core to a vague sense of nausea. 
“Please don’t shake me right now.” you groaned. Your guts were not interested in physical movement right now. Your legs were already nearly constantly sore from biking everywhere. 
To Eddie’s credit, he did stop. His hand was still firm against you though, and you could feel the cold metal of one of his rings against your skin.
“See this one,” he gave you one more shake, the asshole. “This one is so metal that even though she probably should retreat tonight she’s still willing to show up for us.”
The compliment made your heart swell and the air didn’t feel so brisk as your own cheeks warmed up. You tilted your head back to look at him with surprise; Eddie didn’t hand out compliments too lightly with the club. He was always so straight forward, firm. He wouldn’t say anything unless he meant it. 
“I’ve always shown up when it mattered.” you said quietly, flashbacking (flash forwarding?) just a split second to a group of friends from the future. Not that it mattered, I guess. What was that??
The hand slid off of you, and a sense of emptiness echoed through your chest and at the loss of the warmth and pressure. You shoved down the lump in your throat by taking a long gulp of water. You had been here for nearly 2 months, and that had been the first bit of physical contact you had with anyone outside of a small scrap with Murrey or a handshake with someone, or your literal run in with Steve Harrington. 
One small touch, and you felt like you were falling apart. You were really starting to be sick of this feeling. 
Eddie sat back down and pulled out the sandwich you had offered him and you watched it disappear in 4 bites. 
“Jesus Eddie, did you even taste that?” asked Mike, and to be fair it was a valid question. 
“Didn’t need to, it was edible. Thanks, Lipton” 
“Why do you all keep calling me that?” you asked, looking around the table. 
“What, ‘Lipton’?” Mike asked. “I don’t know, it’s just something we do here.”
“Could... you please not call me that? Just call me by my name please. Or ‘Dipshit’. Or ‘Hey You’ or ‘That one girl in Hellfire’. Anything else.”
“You’re barely in Hellfire.” Gareth grumbled, flicking a chip crumb off the table and onto the dirt below. Gareth had been nice enough the first night you showed up for Hellfire, but then the more you hung around the less he seemed to like you. You’d deal with that later.
Eddie looked over at you, his wide brown eyes meeting yours and he said your name. 
The back of your neck prickled at the sound of your name on his lips. You wanted him to say it again. 
‘Not the fucking time, self’ You scolded yourself again. You had so many bigger issues than a guy with pretty brown eyes and a chipped front tooth that made your stomach explode in butterflies. 
Oh, who the fuck were you kidding? You did not. In fact, he was absolutely the main problem that you were going to have to deal with in a few months. If he wasn’t planning on being a hero, maybe you could actually sleep at night. 
You gave him a small nod, and wondered if you looked as tired as you felt. 
“Sorry, it's an old habit.” Dustin said. “We’ll stick with your first name”
“Thank you.” you said, relaxing. You looked at the time, not long until lunch was over. Then two more hours, then school was over. Hellfire started at four, a half hour after school ended. That gave you a few hours to just wander around aimlessly until school ended. 
You zoned out for the rest of lunch, poking at the food you had brought until it was all passed along to Eddie. He never did bring enough food for himself anyway. 
When the bell rang you took your time gathering your stuff up as most of the club started back towards the school building. 
As you were about to turn and head in the opposite direction towards the woods. something grabbed you by the shoulder and moved you behind a tree before you realized what was happening. Eddie stood in front of you, hands on your upper arms, head tilted with that look of intense concern on his face. You found yourself stiff under that gaze, thrown off by how he had suddenly grabbed you. 
“Eddie....?”
“I meant what I said, earlier.” he said. “There’s no shame in retreating. If you feel like shit, you don’t have to come.”
“I want to.” you said. “I- I really do, I promise. I don’t want to let you down.” It took you three seconds to realize that you had said ‘you’ and not ‘everyone’ and heat burned your cheeks. 
Eddie put a hand on your forehead. “You’re warm and you look like.. You look fucking tired.” 
“....Thank you, Eddie. Just what every woman wants to hear from a man.” Your voice was deadpan. “I’ll be fine. I just need to take an aspirin and maybe take a small nap before Hellfire.”
His brown eyes bore into yours and you wondered how easily he could see through you. “Come on, you can take a nap in my van.” Eddie didn’t bother giving you a chance to answer before dragging you around the school, towards the parking lot.   
It took a moment for his words to register in your brain as you followed him. "....Huh?"
"I have some spare blankets and a pillow back there. I crash in the back all the time. Might not be the... Cleanest or the most comfortable but it's safe. Not like anyone's interested in messing with the freaks van" He said, his hand sliding down your arm to grab your hand. 
Eddie was holding your hand. Shit shit shit shit shit- 
Your brain caught up to you. "Ah, yeah that would be really nice actually." you said. "I probably really need the short rest of I'm gonna survive you tonight."
You wondered if Eddie realized that he had given your hand a squeeze. "Get those spell slots back, you're gonna need them." 
"Thank you, I really do appreciate it.” And you did, passing out in his van was definitely safer than passing out in the woods somewhere until Hellfire started.
Eddie looked over at you and smiled. "Everyone in Hellfire has crashed in that van at least once. It's basically a right of passage to help break in the newbies."
You couldn't stop your mouth from running. "You break in all the newbies in the back of your van?" You looked up at him with a teasing half grin. "Damn, this really is a cult." ‘Not. The. Fucking. Time. Get your head out of the gutter please.’ 
Eddie snorted and shook his head. "You'd be surprised what's happened in the back of that van."
"Sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll?" you offered. ‘What did I just tell myself??’
"Two out of three. I'll let you guess which ones." 
The bell rang and you jumped. "Shit, you’re gonna be late to class.” You looked over at Eddie, worried about his getting in trouble. 
“It’s just gym, no one will care if I’m late” he said. “I don’t like being the first in the locker room anyway. Are you sure you're okay?" Eddie asked, looking you over. "I'm not trying to be a dick but you really look rough."
"I feel rough. I'll be fine." You promised. "I just need a nap. You said it yourself, I'm metal. Can't exactly let everyone down when you called me that."
"You're either very brave or very stupid." Eddie said, opening the back door to the van, giving a sweeping gesture to motion you inside. 
You tossed your backpack in first before crawling in. To your surprise Eddie hopped in with you and closed the door. 
"Just need to move some things around. As a Hellfire member and your DM, you know that what happens in this van stays here." Eddie's eyes narrowed slightly and you nodded dumbly, wondering if he was aware of how some of the things he was saying sounded. "Good."
He pulled up a section of the floor where a spare tire should be, and pulled out a small box. You leaned against the back of the front seat, closing your eyes. Whatever Eddie was doing, it wasn't your business, not when he was being so nice. You really thought you had completely blown it a few weeks ago when you first went over to his home, but by some power he kept letting you hang around. Being coworkers probably helped. 
With your eyes closed, you breathed in deeply and took in the scent of the van. There was a lingering smell of weed and cigarettes, mixed with the natural smell of him and a hint of some sort of air cleaner to mask the smells. It could have been much worse, you found that your tolerance for the scent of narcotics had gone up a lot since being here.  
Your body was already starting to relax, knowing that rest was coming soon. You had been running around Hawkins all week between shifts and doing your own investigation work of the town, looking for anything that could help you come Spring Break. 
Something soft hit your head and you opened your eyes. Eddie had tossed you two blankets and a pillow. "They were washed recently." He said. 
"Eddie you- can you come wake me up before Hellfire?" You asked, feeling the texture of one of the blankets. It was worn and thin but nice against your hands. "I don't have a watch or an alarm." Your watch had died two days ago and you wouldn’t be able to get a new one until Bev paid you again.
"Don't worry, I'll need to come back here anyway. I'm keeping my notes for today in the front seat. Don't peek. I'll know if you do, and there will be consequences." Eddie's tone was serious as he tossed his Hellfire notes in the front seat. He put his whole being into this campaign, and you wouldn't dare betray that trust that was starting to form between the two of you. 
"Wouldn't dream of it, I doubt I could read your chicken scratch handwriting anyway." you said and he grabbed the pillow from you and smacked it on your head again with a laugh.
"Stan tried once. Once. He learned his lesson after that. He didn't even read the right notes, he ended up with an attempt at my English homework." 
Stan. Another name from his past that never was in the show. You had already accepted that Eddie was real, even if it had left you spiraling for a good two days. But there were still small moments to just how real he was. Hellfire Club existed before now. Eddie had friends before this version of Hellfire. Each new piece of himself that he offered you was tucked away in your mind, a reminder of what you were really working for. You wished you could offer the same. 
It was comfortable in the back of the van with him like this. You could count on one hand the amount of times you had been alone together for longer than five minutes, not counting your shifts together at The Hideout . There was a part of you that was still nervous about being with him, this person who shouldn't exist with you. 
Eddie looked at his watch. "Business calls. Get some rest, I'll be back for you before Hellfire." 
"I'll try not to die in your van."
The van shifted as he scooted over to the door, opening it and letting in the late September air for a moment. 
“Night" He said before closing the door behind him, leaving you alone. 
Reader => Take A Nap In Eddie’s Van
You grabbed the blankets and started adjusting them. Thankfully there were no mysterious stains on any of them, but the pillow was very much a 'boy pillow' which was flat and old and offered zero support. But it was his and it smelled like him and it was... More clean than expected. Not like you had any room to complain. 
You laid back and took a few slow breaths. You didn't expect to actually get any sleep but some time to just lay down and relax was enough for now. You were sure that Eddie would tire you out again tonight-
‘With the campaign you fucking pervert.’ You scolded yourself, trying to ignore the warmth in her stomach again from just his hand on your arm and shoulder. Hellfire was always very high energy, and Eddie's stamina was unwavering. As a Dungeon Master- no fuck, not that kind of dungeon master-!
What was wrong with you today? Being on your period and the stress must be catching up to you. You were starting to think you needed to get laid. Or maybe convince Steve or Robin to loan your their Family Video discounts to rent from the back room- 
No. You were NOT going to hit up a jock and his lesbian best friend for porn. You didn’t even have a VHS player. 
You were so fucking touch starved. 
You shut your eyes tight and tried to clear your mind of any perverted thoughts. It was pleasant in his van in a weird way. Cool, and parked in the shade, and just dark enough to let your mind shutdown slowly. Maybe you’d get a contact high, but you didn't know enough about drugs to know and at this point you were too afraid to ask. 
You tossed and turned for a bit, trying to get comfortable enough to just relax. The van's floor was hard, and it took a half hour to find a position (with doubling your backpack with the pillow) where your brain could shut down fully. 
It felt like you had just closed your eyes when a knock came from outside. You jumped and sat up quickly, fumbling in the sheets to cover up before remembering that you were still fully clothed. 
"Wake up, Sunshine, Hellfire starts in 15 minutes!" The van door opened and Eddie smiled at you. "Hand me my bag"
You reached for his bag and pushed it over, shaking your head to reoriented yourself. Right, Eddie's van. Naptime. 
"Last chance to back out." Eddie said. "Say the word and I'll walk away and drive you home after Hellfire."
"I'm okay!" You said, not knowing if you were going to crash at Benny’s or in a basement. "I actually feel a lot better after laying down for a bit. Just let me use the bathroom and I'll be all good for tonight, I promise." 
Eddie reached out to take your wrist and help you out of the van, and you stumbled slightly before readjusting. Eddie grabbed your arms to make sure you didn’t eat shit on the pavement.
"I'm good, you just threw me off. I'm fine, Eddie." 
Eddie answered by letting you go and closing the van door. "You know the house rules. Anyone late gets a penalty at my discretion."
"Yes, Dad" you rolled your eyes and the two of you made your way back to the school. Once inside you stepped away and slipped into the bathroom to freshen up and readjust your clothing and pee. After splashing some cold water on your face and cleaning up you did feel a lot better. 
"You actually showed up" Gareth said as you made her way down the stairs. 
"Get on my level Gareth." you said, taking your seat at the table. 
"Feel any better?" Asked Dustin. 
"Yeah, much better." You pulled out your folder and set your mini fig on the table. "Eddie let me crash in his van for a bit."
The overhead light went out and with a click a single lamp that hung above the table flickered on. Eddie was now seated in his 'throne', his side of the table now set up. 
"If we're done chatting now gentleman, lady" he nodded at you. "Last we left the party...”
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Notes: I haven't forgotten about this series! I feel like I am constantly writing and yet have noting to show for it lol
So what would you like to see Reader do next?
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Dividers by @strangergraphics
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