#morana devotee

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

what my deities see when i give them their offerings

[vyvilha]

my mistress to whom all shall return

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

how tf are you homophobic/a terf if youre working with deities bro the gods are queer as fuck if i see anymore of that lgb/ fighting for biological womens rights bulshit people on my fuckin timeline imma pour some sriracha on a lemon and were gonna have a fuckin problem

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

how much parents issues do you need to ask literal ancient gods if theyre proud of you asking for a friend

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

me: do you guys have a nickname you call me?

gods: yeah

me: can you spell it out for me?

gods: *everyone is yelling the letters at the same time*

me: this shit is just gibberish please speak one deity at the same time okay? Apollo please go first

Apollo: fcorcj

me: are u sure its even a word

Apollo: yeah just search it

me: *finds an old book after half an hour and finds the meaning*

me: decoration?

Apollo: yeah :)

me: okay? Aphrodite?

Aphrodite: c / o

me: oh this is actually adorable thank you

Aphrodite: :)

me: Dionysus its your turn

Dionysus: apdedi

me: addition?... just call me a trinket man /j

Dionysus: lmao

me: Marzanna do you have one for me too?

Marzanna: yeah:)

me: is it in polish?

Marzanna: no:)

Marzanna: amndcp

me: a cactus needle...?

Marzanna: lololol

me: be so for real do you guys see me as your cat?

gods: yeah lol

me: alright Bastet?

Bastet: hxddbe

me: is it even a real word?

Bastet: yeah but you will only find it in an old ass book lol

me: can you spell the meaning in english?

Bastet: nah :3

me: do you guys enjoy making fun of me? /j

gods: yeah <3

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

before i started my deity work with Aphrodite i prayed to her to make me look like my best self and the day after that my hair started to curl randomly (i have no one in the family with curly hair) and i came out as genderfluid and i still was skeptical

then she gave me so many signs

i literally smelled apple chupa chups when i fell asleep (i didnt have anything apple scented in my room and the window was closed)

i was getting angel numbers constantly

i found a literal shell necklace when i went to throw the trash out

and i was still like "nah cus what if its a misunderstanding"

my soulmate was like "bitch youre so oblivious shes literally calling to you about your cars extended warranty"

and so i asked "if Aphrodite is reaching out to me please show me yourself in my dreams"

AND GUESS WHAT

i dreamed about watching a youtube video called "working with Aphrodite: deity work 101" and there was such a beautiful woman in the video she had a dark skin and long black wavy hair and very thick eyebrows and plump lips and i woke up and i was like "wow she was so pretty" and i was STILL skeptical cus i was like "nah maybe its just because i was thinking about her so much" and my soulmate was FED UP with my dumb bitch shit

and so it was time to do a deity spread because you know maybe its okay and if not then well

and i found a deity spread (i now make my own)

i pulled the card

it was nine of pentacles

i checked the deities associated with the card

"oh, thats random"

another deity spread

the strenght

"oh its the same deity"

ok i think somethings not adding up

and then i researched Bastet

"hmm cats yes, oh dancing,hmmm yeah okay"

and i looked at past me crying randomly because i got the urge to get a cat

and i looked at past me smelling incense randomly

and i looked at past me getting literal signs from her for as long as i could and i was like

"oh my god im so sorry i didnt know"

and so i started my deity work with both of them the same night

past me is stupid, oblivious and made mistakes but past me got me to now where i have a happy established relationship with my goddesses and im forever thankful for that

their altars at first were just sitting on my plant shelf

it was messy

Bastet only had my old silver cat statue, my cat tarot deck (which btw shows her character perfectly) and some tigers eye and tourmaline

Aphrodite only had some rose quartz a drawing of her that i made and a pale pink candle

now we're here and their altars are always full of food offerings to the point i had to upgrade their space to the shelf above

they still share an altar but theyre both okay with it

so uh yeah

just wanted to share this weird story of how i started

(then Aphrodite invited Apollo to my space who helped me a lot with my trauma, then i reached out to Dionysus and Marzanna and now we're here 5 ancient gods sitting in my room watching me read gay fanfiction at night)

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

personally i choose to believe the deities reach out to me so much because they love my hilarious jokes (it's actually my shitload of trauma)

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

no one told me about this miasma shit before

like wdym gods refuse my offerings because im on my period

what do i do with those chocolate chip cookies now???

wdym i cant even do an e-offering or dance funny in your honor 😭😭😭

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

did i ever tell yall how my practice looks like a sleepover party

other witches: oh the great dark lord please bless me with the knowledge of unknown and guarantee prosperity on my family

me: *pulls a pendulum* so like do you guys wanna watch a horror movie and get some popcorn and then we can play 20 questions *the pendulum swings in "yeah"* lmao cool cool

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

no one tell me that you can only be a devotee of one god imma devote to all my deities i love them all the same amount and i will devote to them as long as they want me to I'm a devotee of ALL my deities yall

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

i started to recognize people who like my posts or reblog them and i think about you all as my friends if you are less than 21 years old im adopting you tho since im older hehe

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

don't know who needs to hear this but!

your gods don't care about your age regression!!!

they love you! they love tiny you! they love the whole you!

so be safe out there kiddos and remember you are loved

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

i wanted to buy a stim toy but the cashier had to send it back because it had no code and i got sad but a few minutes later another cashier came back with the toy and just put in a code from a different thing of the same price and so i was able to get the toy i wanted and its all thanks to my deities thank you everyone i love you <3

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

me: *talking about how i love my deities and feel comfortable with them and treat them like my family*

my deities: 222 <3

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

i feel scared because here I'm literally so cool and people ask me for advice and I'm commenting and posting and being funny and it's like man this is not the me i know

me in real life has no friends, lays around on the couch for the whole day and looks at memes

here I'm cool, I'm quite popular i think? I'm funny, I'm liked

i like this version of me more

but i also don't know if it's the real me or if it's just a version of me im trying to be

like irl im a loser but here im a funny cool loser

and so i was thinking about it and i saw 333 angel number which goes

"three encourages you to put energy into your own growth and expansion and your own jouney, where you want to be, where you'd like to be and encourages you to dream big"

and its like oh thank you my deities whoever sent me that message

"with those 3 easy steps you will be able to become the person you want to be! just remember to leave a like and subscribe for more content!"

i joked and you know they think im hilarious

so i might have a chance to be a cool funny loser someday in real life too

as for now imma just walk my dog and sing to hype boy in honor of the gods

[that-ikea-alien-plush]

me: can i ask for some rain?

me: nah it would be too much sorry forget about it

*30 seconds later it starts raining*

me: omg?? did my gods do it?

the gods: yeah <3 here you go kid