thebigoblin

[thebigoblin]

Tumblr Code.

[thebigoblin]

Thank you to everyone who filled the form!! I got enough responses to do my dissertation from my batchmates, friends, and y'all!!

The form is closed now.

Helloooo

So I know this is quite a sudden and shocking revival of this blog, especially since the last time I was active here was to post about my dissertation and requesting help regarding people filling out a questionnaire for me.

Well, I'm back! This time with the questionnaire. I'm gonna link it here and hope that the Tumblr algorithm (the people <3) help me out 🥺 Even if you don't fill it out and just reblog, that would be great! I don't wanna yap so much that I pull the attention away lol, so without further ado here's the link. https://forms.gle/hiYzsPgJfLAfX7bC9 I'm just gonna tag it under some trending tags, please don't mind 🙏

[thebigoblin]

Helloooo

So I know this is quite a sudden and shocking revival of this blog, especially since the last time I was active here was to post about my dissertation and requesting help regarding people filling out a questionnaire for me.

Well, I'm back! This time with the questionnaire. I'm gonna link it here and hope that the Tumblr algorithm (the people <3) help me out 🥺 Even if you don't fill it out and just reblog, that would be great! I don't wanna yap so much that I pull the attention away lol, so without further ado here's the link. https://forms.gle/hiYzsPgJfLAfX7bC9 I'm just gonna tag it under some trending tags, please don't mind 🙏

[thebigoblin]

Please fill the form or reblog if you see it 🙏 I know it says ending date was 17th, but it has been extended.

I need at least 45 more responses 😭

Helloooo

So I know this is quite a sudden and shocking revival of this blog, especially since the last time I was active here was to post about my dissertation and requesting help regarding people filling out a questionnaire for me.

Well, I'm back! This time with the questionnaire. I'm gonna link it here and hope that the Tumblr algorithm (the people <3) help me out 🥺 Even if you don't fill it out and just reblog, that would be great! I don't wanna yap so much that I pull the attention away lol, so without further ado here's the link. https://forms.gle/hiYzsPgJfLAfX7bC9 I'm just gonna tag it under some trending tags, please don't mind 🙏

[thebigoblin]

Helloooo

So I know this is quite a sudden and shocking revival of this blog, especially since the last time I was active here was to post about my dissertation and requesting help regarding people filling out a questionnaire for me.

Well, I'm back! This time with the questionnaire. I'm gonna link it here and hope that the Tumblr algorithm (the people <3) help me out 🥺 Even if you don't fill it out and just reblog, that would be great! I don't wanna yap so much that I pull the attention away lol, so without further ado here's the link. https://forms.gle/hiYzsPgJfLAfX7bC9 I'm just gonna tag it under some trending tags, please don't mind 🙏

[thebigoblin]

Helloooo

So I know this is quite a sudden and shocking revival of this blog, especially since the last time I was active here was to post about my dissertation and requesting help regarding people filling out a questionnaire for me.

Well, I'm back! This time with the questionnaire. I'm gonna link it here and hope that the Tumblr algorithm (the people <3) help me out 🥺 Even if you don't fill it out and just reblog, that would be great! I don't wanna yap so much that I pull the attention away lol, so without further ado here's the link. https://forms.gle/hiYzsPgJfLAfX7bC9 I'm just gonna tag it under some trending tags, please don't mind 🙏

[thebigoblin]

some of y’all with printed copies of fanfiction are going to die someday and your books will end up at the secondhand book shop and someone is just going to innocently pick up blorbo/shitto enemies to lovers and when i think of it this way let’s keep printing fanfiction

[thebigoblin]

Hello everyone! I'm S, and I'm currently a UG student (BBA Finance) in her final year. While I don't use this account much (I'm much more comfortably settled over at @ghostieblr these days), this is my main and oldest blog, thus making it the blog with most reach in my fingertips.

Now, why am I posting here, you ask? Well, as I said, I'm a final year student, and I need to write a dissertation before I graduate. I have chosen a topic, but I need to collect primary data — for those unaware, that means collecting data by myself rather than relying on other sources — for it to be completed.

I'm only just beginning my dissertation, and I'll keep posting about it till the viva/presentation/defending of my dissertation comes up, which is in the second half of March 2025.

I need your help. My topic is: "Generational Gap in Investment Strategies: A Comparative Study on Gen-Z and Millenials."

If I post a google form here later with some pretty personal investment-related questions, will you be willing to fill it out? I'll keep it completely anonymous, no email records or even your name, just the basics: age range (are you a millenial or genz?), country (because different countries have different rates on securities, and of course people have different views on building their wealth because of those differences, amongst other differing factors), etc.?

I'll put up a poll. If there's a positive response, it'll be great! If not, I understand! But I'll be super-pretty-extra pleased if you could help me out :D

(i'll also sweeten the deal and write you fics? short ones? if you're into it? just send me an ask on @ghostieblr please. I'm in quite a few fandoms, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, BBC Merlin, MCU, and a newly-minted DC fan. I'm also in others, but I'm not sure I can write about them? Still, shoot me an ask! Plus, check out my ao3 (or my pinned post on the aforementioned other blog) to check out my writing and other things? thanks!)

Alright, now for the poll!!! I'll keep it open for a week. Please reblog to increase the sample size!

[thebigoblin]

Hello everyone! I'm S, and I'm currently a UG student (BBA Finance) in her final year. While I don't use this account much (I'm much more comfortably settled over at @ghostieblr these days), this is my main and oldest blog, thus making it the blog with most reach in my fingertips.

Now, why am I posting here, you ask? Well, as I said, I'm a final year student, and I need to write a dissertation before I graduate. I have chosen a topic, but I need to collect primary data — for those unaware, that means collecting data by myself rather than relying on other sources — for it to be completed.

I'm only just beginning my dissertation, and I'll keep posting about it till the viva/presentation/defending of my dissertation comes up, which is in the second half of March 2025.

I need your help. My topic is: "Generational Gap in Investment Strategies: A Comparative Study on Gen-Z and Millenials."

If I post a google form here later with some pretty personal investment-related questions, will you be willing to fill it out? I'll keep it completely anonymous, no email records or even your name, just the basics: age range (are you a millenial or genz?), country (because different countries have different rates on securities, and of course people have different views on building their wealth because of those differences, amongst other differing factors), etc.?

I'll put up a poll. If there's a positive response, it'll be great! If not, I understand! But I'll be super-pretty-extra pleased if you could help me out :D

(i'll also sweeten the deal and write you fics? short ones? if you're into it? just send me an ask on @ghostieblr please. I'm in quite a few fandoms, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, BBC Merlin, MCU, and a newly-minted DC fan. I'm also in others, but I'm not sure I can write about them? Still, shoot me an ask! Plus, check out my ao3 (or my pinned post on the aforementioned other blog) to check out my writing and other things? thanks!)

Alright, now for the poll!!! I'll keep it open for a week. Please reblog to increase the sample size!

[thebigoblin]

Hello everyone! I'm S, and I'm currently a UG student (BBA Finance) in her final year. While I don't use this account much (I'm much more comfortably settled over at @ghostieblr these days), this is my main and oldest blog, thus making it the blog with most reach in my fingertips.

Now, why am I posting here, you ask? Well, as I said, I'm a final year student, and I need to write a dissertation before I graduate. I have chosen a topic, but I need to collect primary data — for those unaware, that means collecting data by myself rather than relying on other sources — for it to be completed.

I'm only just beginning my dissertation, and I'll keep posting about it till the viva/presentation/defending of my dissertation comes up, which is in the second half of March 2025.

I need your help. My topic is: "Generational Gap in Investment Strategies: A Comparative Study on Gen-Z and Millenials."

If I post a google form here later with some pretty personal investment-related questions, will you be willing to fill it out? I'll keep it completely anonymous, no email records or even your name, just the basics: age range (are you a millenial or genz?), country (because different countries have different rates on securities, and of course people have different views on building their wealth because of those differences, amongst other differing factors), etc.?

I'll put up a poll. If there's a positive response, it'll be great! If not, I understand! But I'll be super-pretty-extra pleased if you could help me out :D

(i'll also sweeten the deal and write you fics? short ones? if you're into it? just send me an ask on @ghostieblr please. I'm in quite a few fandoms, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, BBC Merlin, MCU, and a newly-minted DC fan. I'm also in others, but I'm not sure I can write about them? Still, shoot me an ask! Plus, check out my ao3 (or my pinned post on the aforementioned other blog) to check out my writing and other things? thanks!)

Alright, now for the poll!!! I'll keep it open for a week. Please reblog to increase the sample size!

[thebigoblin]

Hello everyone! I'm S, and I'm currently a UG student (BBA Finance) in her final year. While I don't use this account much (I'm much more comfortably settled over at @ghostieblr these days), this is my main and oldest blog, thus making it the blog with most reach in my fingertips.

Now, why am I posting here, you ask? Well, as I said, I'm a final year student, and I need to write a dissertation before I graduate. I have chosen a topic, but I need to collect primary data — for those unaware, that means collecting data by myself rather than relying on other sources — for it to be completed.

I'm only just beginning my dissertation, and I'll keep posting about it till the viva/presentation/defending of my dissertation comes up, which is in the second half of March 2025.

I need your help. My topic is: "Generational Gap in Investment Strategies: A Comparative Study on Gen-Z and Millenials."

If I post a google form here later with some pretty personal investment-related questions, will you be willing to fill it out? I'll keep it completely anonymous, no email records or even your name, just the basics: age range (are you a millenial or genz?), country (because different countries have different rates on securities, and of course people have different views on building their wealth because of those differences, amongst other differing factors), etc.?

I'll put up a poll. If there's a positive response, it'll be great! If not, I understand! But I'll be super-pretty-extra pleased if you could help me out :D

(i'll also sweeten the deal and write you fics? short ones? if you're into it? just send me an ask on @ghostieblr please. I'm in quite a few fandoms, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, BBC Merlin, MCU, and a newly-minted DC fan. I'm also in others, but I'm not sure I can write about them? Still, shoot me an ask! Plus, check out my ao3 (or my pinned post on the aforementioned other blog) to check out my writing and other things? thanks!)

Alright, now for the poll!!! I'll keep it open for a week. Please reblog to increase the sample size!

[thebigoblin]

Send this to some of your favourite people and pass the pumpkin round! KEEP THE PUMPKIN TRAIN GOING! 🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃

Hey Boo!! (see what i did there lol)

🧡🧡🧡

[thebigoblin]

Secret Life of Stiles & Derek

IT IS FINALLY HERE! Inspired from this post of mine (of which i posted a sneak peak here)... now i bring to you, the FULL FIC ON A03.

Thank y'all for showing interest in it <3

Here is a little bit of sneak peak:

*

He settles beside Cora, stretches there so his legs open to create space for Stiles. Stiles, who doesn’t even glance at Scott calling his name, too busy in arranging the snacks, and then finding the remote. Derek waves it once, and Stiles beelines for it.

“I want it! I get to choose the film, ok Sourwolf, because I called this pack night!” As he says it, he’s moving forward, and it makes Derek’s heart soar that there’s no second thought before he plops himself down between the V of his legs. Derek hands over the remote.

And of course Stiles puts on Star Wars, Episode III.

“Why.”

“Inflection, Der, use them. They’re the souls—”

“—Souls of language. Yes, I know, Stiles. But I love to—”

“—love to fight against period, commas and question marks because I love to see you squirm.” Stiles recites perfectly, thanks to the number of times they’ve had this argument, and then corrects himself, “I mean, you love to see me squirm, you asshole!”

Somewhere distantly, he hears Scott mutter, “Yeah he is. Come here Stiles.”

Derek puts his free hand around Stiles’ waist and pulls him backwards into his chest, and Stiles lets him do it. He settles firmly in Derek’s lap, like this is the easiest thing to do. It makes Derek happy.

“Now shush, let me watch the credits in peace!”

Derek takes the remote and fast-forwards it.

“Nephew…”

“You’re an idiot,” Cora tacks on to their uncle's reprimand, and then, “Why do you never learn?”

Stiles simply takes the popcorn bowl from his hand and puts it in Cora’s hands. She swats away Boyd’s hands from taking any of it, and then sighs loudly as Derek and Stiles devolve into a wrestling, writhing mass of degenerates beside her.

Stiles emerges victorious and wins the remote, so Derek pulls him in by his hips and wraps his arms around his chest. Puts his head on Stiles’ right shoulder and groans when he rewinds the film back to the starting point.

“Idiot,” Cora mutters, and hands back the bowl of popcorn to Derek. He isn’t really sorry about it, though. And both Cora and Peter know it, so they send him knowing looks which he steadfastly ignores.

The movie begins again. Stiles cuddles closer to him, Derek’s hands on his chest, his hips. Enclosing him in. He turns his head, and their faces are so, so close. Their noses touch. Their eyes are cross-eyed they’re so infuriatingly, blessingly close. Stiles says, “Der.”

He pulls back and picks up a handful of the popcorn, more salty ones than tomato flavored ones — they’re more his favorite, not Stiles’ — from where he’d kept the bowl between him and Cora, and feeds Stiles one by one.

Once the handful of popcorn has been eaten, Stiles turns back, and Derek picks up his own handful. A couple minutes pass by, the world on the screen the only noise, but then Stiles turns around again. He doesn’t say anything, but Derek understands anyways and feeds Stiles. It makes him satisfied in a way he’s both thrilled and concerned about, which basically sums up his life. But in this moment he focuses on Stiles, and the intimacy of their trust, the way Stiles allows him to provide for him. The way Stiles trusts him with these small things, and when it matters, with the big things. Like Stiles’ life.

This time, a murmur kick starts between the betas. Mainly Isaac and Erica, who are trying to tamp down their curiosity but are unable to do so. Boyd isn’t into the gossip, but Derek sees him watching them a couple of times.

On the other hand, he can smell Scott silently fuming, and Allison’s gentle scraping along his scalp, his arms. Trying to control him. Anchoring him. Derek smirks, unable to help the way his chest expands with possessive pride.

“What’s up?” Stiles asks, without turning. His eyes are locked onto the screen.

“Nothing. Just the popcorn’s almost over.” It is. They’re down to two handfuls each.

Stiles pauses the film, never one to miss even a second of it, and scans the coffee table. It’s still full with food. He frowns. “Nobody is eating?”

Nobody is replying, either. Stiles stands up and hovers beside the table, looks at Derek helplessly. He’d brought everyone’s favorite and some extra — he’d planned this down to every last detail. Except, of course, realizing that they don’t know about his and Derek’s history, or their current friendship.

*

You can continue reading it here on AO3.

Tagging the people who wanted me to tag 'em once i posted this fic:

@demonicfaery @lovehahajk @emilyinhouston @jadezdominion @sterekloverforever @hogwarts-starship @deliahale @princecharmingwinks

[thebigoblin]

Okay, so. I'm working on something inspired from this post of mine. I'm almost done, I think, so I'll post by Saturday evening IST on ao3!!! If you're interested and want me to tag on the corresponding post here (because ofco i'll post about the fic here as well) lmk in the comments!! <3

here is a sneakpeak pic (yes i write on tumblr drafts):

[thebigoblin]

ok so i kind of want a canon divergent fic where Stiles & Derek know each other from their childhood (Derek is like 3-4 years older than him and used to pick up Cora from the same daycare maybe?)

the plot doesn't change till s3's finale, minus some of the character's deaths. Boyd, Erica, Allison — they all live. except, see, except stiles knows derek.

and derek knows stiles.

so post nogitsune arc where everyone can finally breathe, there is no other danger that is incoming, stiles pesters derek to call a "pack night" and derek begrudgingly texts so in the group named "awooo plus others." everyone's first thought is that derek has been possessed, or something, but then stiles records a video of derek saying it too and sends it via derek's phone. nobody questions who took the video, and they all come together for the pack night.

on the day of, everyone trickles in slowly, except stiles who was literally the first to arrive. he had derek go with him to buy snacks and groceries, and then they both come back to the loft to make food for everyone else. they have a mini food fight, and stiles' white shirt is littered with all sorts of condiments and food, so derek lends him one of his henley's.

"Dude, doesn't this hurt your werewolf sensibility?" Stiles asks, the henley in his hands. Derek rolls his eyes.

"Shut up, Stiles."

(he'll not admit it for a long while, but derek loves stiles' scent clinging to his own).

and then once everyone is there, derek and stiles realize simultaneously that there's not enough room for everyone to sit around, even if some people sit down on the floor. there's only one big couch, one armchair, and the rest is carpet around the sitting area, which isn't too big. which means that lydia, allison, scott, and jackson have taken the couch; peter has taken the armchair; isaac, boyd, erica, kira, and cora have taken the space on the floor in a way that there is literally only one person's space left, and that too is a squeeze. it's clear that scott was gonna ask stiles to squeeze on the couch with them, and that the floor space, beside cora, is meant for derek.

what happens is derek picks up the tv remote and stiles hands everyone their snacks and puts the rest on the coffee table, and then derek sits down on the floor, and stiles, without a single thought and without a single glance at scott, who is trying to motion for stiles to come sit on the couch, sits in the v of derek's legs. derek, of course, puts his arm around stiles' waist and pulls him closer, so that stiles is sitting on his lap, and they have one (1) bowl of popcorn between them that is half salt, half tomato. derek gives the remote to stiles and takes the bowl.

stiles is muttering about choosing a film. he insists, "since i called this pack meeting, i'll choose the film," to which erica says:

"batman, you called the meeting?"

derek scoffs when stiles puts on star wars. neither of them is paying any attention to the others, and cora and peter are enjoying the not-so-silent freak out from the others.

derek says, "not again, stiles."

"inflection, derbear, inflection! it is the soul—"

"—soul of language. yes, i know, stiles. but i fight—"

"—against the periods and commas because it's entertaining to see you squirm. i mean me. it's funny to you to see me squirm, you asshole!"

derek just smirks, and snatches the remote to fast-forward the beginning credits, to which stiles sings holy murder and snatches it back and rewinds to the beginning.

"great, now we have to watch it again. why do you never learn, derek?" cora gripes, and peter is just watching in amazement as lydia's eyes go big with the new information. she's getting it.

the movie starts, but nobody but derek and stiles are actually watching it. cora is sort of into it, but she's not into rewatching, so she's on her phone. peter is into watching and betting who will break first. the others are entirely focused on how derek and stiles are interacting, like stiles isn't fucking afraid of derek (at this point derek is still the angry, will break your hand in training if you piss me off alpha; at least to them), and that derek isn't fucking annoyed by stiles.

stiles and derek are just. chilling. throughout the movie, stiles settles into derek, and derek wraps his arms around stiles, and they're cuddling.

derek feeds stiles once every five minutes, because stiles just turns his head and says softly, "der." after the first 2 times, stiles doesn't even have to turn. once their popcorn is over, stiles reaches over and takes the hot dogs — nobody says anything about him taking four of it (one by one, not all at once) because duh — and eats one bite, then leans back to feed it to derek, and then just stays there while alternating the bites.

stiles is super engrossed in watching so he's 1000% oblivious to his surroundings, but derek isn't, and he's just fucking proud of providing for stiles and having him in his arms, showing stiles off as his.

he just doesn't give a shit to answer the other's questions.

so just. yeah. this. where derek and stiles are childhood friends, true mates, and nobody knows how close they are until they do, and they're like "wtf???" while derek is just super duper possessive and proud and stiles is oblivious until comments from the pack members makes him rethink things and he like stops doing the things he normal does with derek (scenting, cuddling, touching derek every chance he gets, spending all of his free time with derek... yeah). day 1 has stiles antsy. day 2 has derek angry at his pack because of course they're behind his stiles-starvation. day 3 has stiles having an epiphany and derek whining outside stiles' window until stiles lets him in and says, "how long have i been stupid?"

"this is the 3rd day."

"not — no. i mean like... how long have we been dating without dating?"

derek's eyes widen. heartbeat is going crazy. "you don't mind?"

"you have literally been treating out interactions as if we are mated, dude. i don't think that question has any merit now."

"don't call me dude."

"can i call you mine, then?"

and he goes to kiss derek when derek just smiles, this bashful little small smile, but derek backs off.

stiles sighs. "we are engaged to be mated, huh?"

"engaged to be engaged to be mated, actually."

"you mean to say you've basically pre-ordered me?!"

derek is horrified. "no! what the hell, stiles?"

"NOW you use inflection? wow."

they go back to cuddling like crazy, except now derek kisses stiles on the head, forehead, and knuckles, and stiles combusts every time because that is so sweet.

the pack never do get over this development. they get over stiles having magic in a week, tops, but derek and stiles? as alpha and future alpha mate? yeah no. impossible. still unbelievable. every pack night they watch these two instead of the movies, because it is one of the few times derek actually lets his guard down and acts non-asshole-ish to them.

[thebigoblin]

Hello friends!

I am Lina from Gaza🇵🇸

I have two children, one of them was born in the genocide. Please, I need a donation of 20 or 25 euros. I know that my request for help is unusual for me, but I really need you. The donation link is in my bio. Every small donation makes a difference. Help my children and my family. We lost everything and we need this money urgently

https://gofund.me/4f077ab2

had to confirm first if this is a scam or what. thankfully it doesn't seem to be.

unfortunately, i do not have the monetary freedom to donate at the moment, but i'm going to post this here and on my other blog as well to boost this! ❤️

[thebigoblin]

<- Part 1 | Untitled

"Everything is fine," is what Stiles says when he wakes up, six hours later. He's not bleeding, he doesn't have any wounds on him, but Derek can't shake the feeling that the statement is false. By all logical means, Stiles is fine.

But when has his life ever been logical? There was no rhyme nor reason for Stiles to have come to the Loft in the first place, and then for him to fall asleep.

Derek nods. "Water?" His question is met with a solemn nod, and this, too, feels wrong. Stiles' eyes are different, somehow. He is different, when he wasn't, before. Before that demon put its slimy hands on Stiles, its twisted lips onto Stiles'.

When Stiles willingly gave up his most precious thing to it.

Derek brings back a glass of water from the kitchen, and finds Stiles on the couch instead of Derek's bed. He pivots when he realizes this, and it irks him, this change of places. Not just because Stiles should be resting, they don't know what's gonna happen after a deal is made with a demon like this, but because not once has Stiles ever relocated himself from Derek's bed. Not after something like this happens, which happens quite often.

It irks him, he realizes with a sudden clarity, not because Stiles shouldn't be exerting himself — but because this feels like he's removing himself from Derek's space.

It's stupid, maybe, but it is how he is feeling.

Stiles drinks the whole glass in one gulp, and Derek tries not to stare at his neck, soft and bare, where he could —

"Are you okay?" He asks again, and again Stiles replies that he is. Frustrated, he growls out, "You just made a fucking deal with a demon, Stiles, you're not okay! You gave that thing your most precious thing."

Stiles' smirk doesn't carry its usual nuance of playfulness and... something else, that's always there, when it is directed at him. This time, it's a cruel tilt of his plush lips, pink tainted with venom. "What the fuck do you care? It's not like you have to deal with the consequences."

Stiles puts down the glass on the coffee table, and the force of it rattles the papers — Stiles' assignment papers — off of it and onto the floor. Stiles bends down to pick them up, and Derek stares, because he has no clue what the fuck has changed.

Except, he's not the beast everyone thinks him to be. Sure, he's a caveman when it comes to technology, sometimes, but he isn't stupid.

He licks his lips, and this is it, he thinks. Stiles' eyes are downcast, searching for the one paper that Derek saw move under the couch, so it's easy to say it now. He doesn't want to see Stiles' face when his worst fears are confirmed.

"Stiles... what did I mean to you, before you took the deal?"

He has wondered, a million times over the billion seconds he's been alive, if the universe hates him. If he's patient zero for all of universe's cruel plans, the unlucky chap saddled with Lady Fortuna's fury. And right now, when Stiles' eyes snap up to his, he's sure that he was right.

Stiles' smirk turns, somehow, more cruel. He confesses, "Everything," and then with a laughter that sounds nothing like the warmth of the sun but everything like the absence of moonlight on his skin, he says, "And now you mean nothing to me. This is the happiest fucking day of my life, you know? I was so... burdened before."

Derek can't breathe. With the last of the air he can manage, he stutters out, "Get- Get out!"

Stiles still hasn't found that last page, and now, concern flashes across his face. But it's gone quickly, like it was never there.

He leaves that last bit of paper under the couch, unaware of its predicament, when he slides open the door to the Loft and heeds Derek's words. And Derek, well, he falls onto the couch, falling like a crumpled piece of paper, and like that fucking paper below the couch.

How does the saying go? It's better to have loved and lost rather than never having loved at all? What does this qualify as then, when apparently Stiles' most precious things had been... something about Derek, that's now gone, and he's acting like this?

Derek has loved Stiles for an amount of time he cannot quantify, and now he's lost Stiles, too. And it hurts like all of his limbs are tearing apart, all at once, and like his lungs are burning, and he's choking.

It would have been better if he'd never loved Stiles at all. Because this, whatever Stiles has become after that deal, is something Derek can't survive. He's lost too much already, and he's losing Stiles, too.

His anchor.

The one person whom he actually fucking trusts.

Of course this is happening to him. It's what he deserves, doesn't he? There's no debate about it. He's a sinner, a killer; he's made of pain and he's meant for pain. He is alive only because death would be the most peaceful option for him, and it's ironic that the person who had started to make him feel like maybe his life is worth something is making him feel like this.

Patient Zero, Derek Fucking Hale.