#more importantly my roommates so i'll be around like. other people who know what's going on

[elytrafemme]

okay so good news one of the classes next semester seems like it might be rough on me BUT it's the class all my friends are taking :]

[dreamingphase4]

DREAM!ing Season 1/Act 2/chapter 2

Nito and Takaomis room

Nito: Hey, I'm sorry if you're not feeling well, but your yume mask was in the trash can. You should manage it properly.

Takaomi: Ah....? What did you pick up? Oh, I threw it away.

Nito: You threw it away?! Why?!

Takaomi: You should know. I'm never logging into that damn system again.

Nito: Huh..? Wait a minute you, what will happen to us as a pair?

Takaomi: I don't know.

Nito: "I don't know." No matter how you say it, it's too irresponsible! There is a risk of expulsion! What will happen to the top position?!

Takaomi: So noisy... you are tiring go away.

Nito: Why did you come to shinonomes special express...?

Takaomi: Ok go away let me sleep.

Nito: Why aren't you motivated? Don't you want the top position?

Takaomi: I'm sure aiming for it is something stupid.

Nito: Then why did you throw away the dream mask?

Takaomi: It's disgusting over there!!!!

Nito: There... inside the dream..?

Takaomi: There's nothing else about it. The person who thought making a human being's heart materialize must be insane.

Nito: No, I don't have to say that much...

Takaomi: Well then, can't you show others what's in your heart? Or can't you just see it the other way around?

Nito: Tha.. thats...

Takaomi: It's disgusting to enjoy watching people's distorted hearts through silly live shows.

Nito: Distortion.... its all in the heart, so it's normal for it to be a little strange. That's a human.

Takaomi: Ha! Humans are full of flaws aren't they..

Takaomi: Most of them distort the facts and make selfish assumptions, and they all lie easily.

Nito: I dont know what you are talking about.

Takaomi: I guess... beneath that face that made me feel so flustered....

Kasuka: Exorcize evil spirts, killing a grudge, noise eradication......

Takaomi and Nito: What?!

Kasuka: You guys....i....

Nito: Huh..?

Takaomi: What...?

Kasuka: So noisy!!!!!

Takaomi and Nito: Huh?!

Kasuka: If you disturb my sleep any longer, I will put you to sleep forever. The only person allowed to interfere with me is yanagi-kun.

Flashback end

Yuma and Yanagi's room

Nito: Shibutani-senpai scolded me, and was really bad. When senpai returns, Shishimaru sleeps in sokko. You are ignoring me huh...

Yuma: Wait a minute, Nito. Please repeat Shibutani-senpais words again.

Nito: I'll let you sleep forever.

Yuma: No, after that...

Yanagi: More importantly, if you are not compatible with your roommate, why not talk to the student council?

Yuma: ......Student council?

Nito: If I tell the student council, will I be able to leave Shishimaru?!

Yanagi: This year's partners were chosen by dormitory leader, but student council also has the same authority.

Nito: Does that mean I can change pairs?! My path to the becoming the top is bright!?

Yanagi: You want to be chief right...?

Nito: Yes! It's my dream to become rich!

Yuma: Yes, money is important.

Yanagi: You guys are a rare type at this school.

Yanagi: Well for now, please come to my class tomorrow. I'll let you meet the student council officers.

Nito: Really?! Senpai thank you!

Nito was at his best, suddenly he took my and entwined our pinky fingers.

Yuma: Huh..?

Nito: I'm worried about going to the 2nd year class alone, will you come with me?

Yuma: Yeah I guess....

Nito: Thank you! Well then, yubikirigenman, if I lie, I'll do the limbo dance while Yumapi is working! I hate it when I think about it.

Yanagi: Well then, we'll be waiting for you two tomorrow after lunch break.

To be continued...

A/n: Ok here's chapter 2 I forgot to put it up yesterday, but here it is! Like I said I'm new to translation stuff, please correct me that would be helpful.

Credits:

Pictures: 360 channel

Story: DREAM!ing

Characters: DREAM!ing

Translations: Me!

[dizzydispatch]

This Means War

I guess it all started with my visit to East Town. I had just gotten off of an overnight, but the night had been busy and I was still wired. Too wired to sleep, and fearing that my bumping around the apartment at seven in the morning might disturb the Saturday morning rest of my roommate Elle (who very rarely gets to sleep in), I decided to pay a visit to a friend.

I happen to live in East Town, and their police department is only about five minutes from my house. So, I make a habit of dropping by when I know Linda is working the morning shift. Today, I had passed by the East Town firetruck heading out for a call, so I knew she'd be busy. Sure enough, when I walked in and picked up the receiver to call into their dispatch office, I wasn't surprised when nobody answered. What I did hear instead, though, was the click-click, click-click of the front door as it was unlocked remotely. 

Grinning, I stepped inside and made my way to Lin. She was finishing up with the call when I settled in, and we launched effortlessly into our usual chatter. 

"How you are you guys liking your new Chief?"

I smirked. "If you're wondering if we feel guilty for poaching him from you guys, the answer is no." 

"We miss him," she admitted. "But it was an upward step for him, so we understand."

"Well, he's very popular right now. I think his sense of humor is going to bring an energy of fun and playfulness that we've been sorely lacking."

Talk of our new Chief turned to some affectionate anecdotes from back when he was East Town's Captain, my favorite of which details his exploits as resident prankster. Apparently, our Chief was the ringleader of much of the shenanigans.

"We had this giant cardboard cutout of Buddy the Elf," Lin explained. "He used to make his rounds around the station, people moving him around and scaring each other by putting him in unexpected places."

"And... he was in on this?"

"He wasn't just in on it," Lin laughed. "He was usually behind it!" 

Apparently, Buddy wasn't universally liked among the officers, and this was a fact the Captain regularly exploited. In a bit of station security camera footage Lin showed me, I watched the solemn, dignified figure who would one day become our Chief of Police sneak out into the garage bay, Buddy tucked under one arm and a huge grin on his face. I watched as he raced to set the figure up in front of the garage and then run away, just in time for the bay door to open. I swear, I could see the man giggling.

The officer who pulled up was less thrilled, and after a moment he emerged from his cruiser and delivered a punch to poor Buddy that sent him flying across the garage. 

"A lot of the pranks sort of... fizzled when he left," Lin admitted. "It was like he took that energy with him."

"Well, I can't say it's transferred over perfectly. I mean, the Chief has a good sense of humor, but our department is a lot more serious than some of the other small towns' around here." 

I thought for a moment to the description that Kara had given me of her other department, where she dispatches part-time. Chair races across the floor, long-running inside jokes-- all of the things I love about closely-knit workplaces. "But... you know, it doesn't have to be." Turning back to Lin, I asked, "Where is Buddy now?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "What are you thinking?"

"Well... when your Captain left to become our Chief, he probably figured he'd left all of this behind him. He'd never expect it to show up at his new workplace, now, would he?"

Lin threw back her head and laughed. "My god, that's perfect," she said. "I'll ask around."

And that's how, a few days later, I wound up trying to disguise a life-sized cardboard cutout of Will Ferrell in a green elf suit in under blankets in the back of my 2008 Toyota Corolla, in case the Chief wound up parked next to me before I had the chance to set the plan in motion.

The introduction of Buddy the Elf to our town's department, and more importantly, his reintroduction to the Chief, brought about some well-needed laughter. First and foremost, on his first day with us, Buddy was set up to scare the Chief himself in his office, right next to the light switch so it would be the first thing he saw when he came in. Upon his arrival, he went straight to  his office and opened the door. A second later, his loud, booming laughter could be heard throughout the station. 

Later that morning, a frightened scream came from the women's locker  room, where Buddy scared the daylights out of our SRO. A few minutes later, she came into Dispatch and asked to see the camera footage from the morning. 

"I want to know who's responsible for this," she said, holding Buddy aloft. 

Later, Buddy made his way into EOPs, where he took Officer Crabby (whom you may remember from my interview) for a good scare, and then around into the dispatchers' lockers, where it gave me a fright. Last I saw Buddy, he was wreaking havoc in the men's locker room, and I'm sure I haven't seen the last of him yet.

Over breakfast one morning, after a particularly taxing overnight, Kane (one of the officers I'm closer with) told me that long ago, the department had been a different place. Pranks and practical jokes ran abound, with one particular highlight being the head of one Lieutenant (remember Baldy from my interview? Yeah, that would be him) being printed out and stuck all over the department. After a closer look, I was able to find a few of the remaining heads, the ones he was never able to track down and eliminate. There's at least one in the hallway among the memorial photos, and a few in the Detectives' offices-- including a large one glued to a popsicle stick like a mask, high up on a shelf.

"I don't know what happened to that sense of humor," Kane told me.

As Buddy makes his rounds about the station, gaining accessories such as a printed-out goat face (for the benefit of the officer who spent much of a Saturday morning chasing around a goat), I've been hearing chatter about a retaliation. I have a suspicion that my well-known fear of large insects (specifically roaches, after my first apartment turned out to have them) might come back to haunt me. It's starting to look like an all-out office prank war.

Perhaps it should bother me, the thought of my phobia being used against me. But really, I'm pleased. A wink and a, "Strong work, Diz," from one Sergeant made me think that this really might be the beginning of a new era for the department. 

With a new chief with a great sense of humor, and a cardboard cutout of Buddy the Elf making its way around for all to be spooked by, maybe this means a new era is dawning, one full of laughter and the sort of camaraderie every workplace needs to maintain a sense of fun when things get really dark.

[casspurrjoybell-24]

Sugar Punch - Chapter 27

*Warning Adult Content*

- Theo -

Two days went by in a blink of an eye and it was finally the day I got to see Maddox.

After going to my classes and hanging out with my new friends, it was finally the day I had been looking forward to, ever since Maddox left for Vegas two week ago, for his big fight, which he won.

Maddox always phoned me 'Good Morning' and phoned me Goodnight as the days passed on and it was becoming more difficult to hide from my roommate, Marcus.

Nobody out of my new friend group knew I was dating a guy and a famous one at that, so it became hard to talk to them about why I couldn't let them use my phone or explain why I needed privacy on the phone.

I was dating Maddox Zane... even if I told my friends, would they even believe me?

"Theo, let's go out tonight, it's Friday and I seriously need to de-stress after today," my friend Emily says, as she groans beside me.

"What about that new cocktail place around the corner?" Ben suggests and Emily smiles widely.

"Yeah. Let's do it."

"So, are you in Theo?" Ben asks but I smile apologetically.

"Sorry, I can't..." I say, making them both frown.

Marcus puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Theo's meeting his girlfriend tonight, aren't you?" he says, making me pale as Emily and Ben gape.

"You're dating someone?" Emily huffs out. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Marcus... why did he bring that up?

Most importantly, how did he come to the conclusion of me having a girlfriend?

Did he hear something, when I was on the phone with Maddox?

"I-It's nothing like that," I tell them, as they roll their eyes, waving me off.

"Bring them along them if it's not like that, everyone likes cocktails," Emily said, as the rest of them nodded.

I didn't even need to ask Maddox if he wanted to come tonight, I knew from speaking to him that he wanted to spend time with me, alone, so I wasn't going to ask him.

Even if he did somehow want to come, how the hell do I explain Maddox to my friends?

And what if people saw him?

Which they would, he stood out in a crowd of hundreds, with his tattoos and build... not to mention how handsome he was.

"Sorry, I promised I'd hang out with them, so..." I cringed out, not liking it either but I was at a loss of what else to say, I didn't want to lie. "Well, I'm off to the gym, I'll text you all later," I say to them, as I gripped my backpack with my gym gear inside.

"I still can't believe you choose to work out," Marcus shivers, making the others laugh as they smile and wave at me.

"Bye Theo," Emily said, waving as I started walking away, grabbing my phone out of my pocket.

I start texting Maddox, who should be landing any minute now at the airport.

Me: I just finished my last class for the day. I'm walking to the gym. I can't wait to see you.

I was so excited and nervous and a thousand other emotions when I thought about seeing Maddox after two weeks apart... I found it hard to stand still knowing that I was mere hours away from seeing him.

I still can't believe my boyfriend is Maddox and that I was his boyfriend, just a simple nerd who happened to one day stroll into the gym and be paired with him as my trainer.

Since Maddox convinced me to join 'No Limits' again, I've been going there as much as I can, during my spare time, it's helped me a lot in building stamina, which Maddox said I lacked.

Rick, the gym owner had been a big help with spending time working out with me at the gym, teaching me how to hold and position myself with each equipment I used, instead of making myself look like a fool.

I could feel myself get stronger... I was still nowhere close to how Maddox was but I was sticking to the meal plan he made for me and I was following the workout schedule he made for me, the first week I came here.

Maddox... he really helped me more then he probably knew because of him I felt more confident inside the gym, I looked like I belonged here, with my new clothes and trainers, that I choose because they reminded me of Maddox's.

I missed him so much.

Once I reached the gym, my phone started ringing and once I took it out, I saw who it was and smiled as I answered it, nervous but excited.

"Hi," I say, opening the door to the gym and heading inside.

"Hey, I just landed. Are you at the gym, right now?" he asks, as I make my way to the locker room, to drop my bag off.

"Yeah, I just got here, I was going to work out on the machines... I figured I had time," I say quietly as I open my locker, put my stuff inside and closed it again.

"Yeah," he laughs. "It's still going to be some time until I can see you, I need to do a few things before I'm all yours. Are you still meeting me at my apartment?"

'All yours.'

Damn, why does that make my stomach flutter?

The things he says... It makes me feel so weak and nervous.

"Yeah, I'll be there," I say, growing more nervous now as I thought about seeing him.

"Do you still have the code for the door?" he asks, as I hum back.

Just then, I see Rick and smile at him... he nods at me and goes back to spotting another guy on the weights.

I walked over to the treadmill and turned it on so I could slow walk and talk to Maddox.

Luckily nobody was near me, or else I would feel too shy to talk to him on the phone, with other people around to listen in.

"I need to go, I'm about to run so..." I say, wishing I could talk to him more.

"Alright, I'll let you get back to it," he chuckles. "Oh, before I forget. Don't forget an overnight bag... you're staying with me this weekend."

I almost fall over as the words left him mouth... I put my feet on either side of the treadmill to stop myself from falling as I felt the back of my neck and cheeks growing warm.

He wants me to stay for the entire weekend?

"At yours?" I say dumbly, making Maddox laugh, huskily.

"Of-course, unless you want to wine and dine me at yours?" he jokes and I roll my eyes at his teasing tone.

"Okay," I sigh, a smile on my face and my heart started beating faster. "Should I bring anything else?"

"Just yourself, you might not even need a bag... you can walk around naked for all I care," he says and I gape widely at my cell-phone before blushing profusely.

"Maddox..." I can't believe he just said that.

Maddox laughs loudly, before I heard a car door slam through his end of the phone call.

"I'm going to start driving. I'll see you at the apartment, Theo."

"Okay, see you later," I say, confidently and he chuckles quietly, before saying bye.

My hands were shaking and I was out of breath once I ended the call and put my phone away and I knew exactly why.

A weekend with Maddox... I knew exactly what that meant.

Was I ready for that?

Dammit, I haven't touched myself since the last time and even then, it hurt so much I couldn't stand it.

Maddox was big... bigger than I have ever seen or will see again, he was a monster and if he wanted me at his for a full weekend... there was no saying how I would survive that.

Dammit, I was screwed.

I decided then and there that I was going to run for ten minutes and workout for twenty minutes of the weights before I head back to the apartment and pack an overnight back, then I'd go over to Maddox's.

As embarrassed and nervous as I was, I had to do something so it wouldn't hurt because as much as I wanted to do that with Maddox, I was still scared it would hurt without preparing myself.

Dammit... now all I can think about is how I was going to do it... Maddox always made it look so easy, whilst I...

I don't remember how he did it, I only remembered how it felt.

I look at the time on my phone before starting the treadmill again, seeing as it was still early, I upped the speed and tried to calm myself down and not think too much about tonight.

Maddox was back, that's all that mattered right now and I was going to see him tonight.

As nervous as I was, I missed seeing him and I wanted to spend time with him more than anything but more than anything... I wanted to give him the gift I bought for him.

I just hope he liked it and that he missed me as much as I missed him.

We were still new to this but I was invested in trying to be mature enough for him and not embarrass him if one day we became public, as much as it terrifies me, I didn't want him to be a laughingstock.

There was still a long way to go before I felt strong enough to be with him but I wasn't going to give up just because it was hard.

I wanted to change and become stronger, so that one day I can be proud of myself and look forward to the future... hopefully... with Maddox in it. 

[johnsamericano]

『 ‎ ‎لąҽհվմղ / ᎠҽӀմʂìօղ 』

warnings: mental illness implied, hallucinations, meds, aggressive jaehyun, implied sexual relations.

taglist: @nakamotocore @jisooapproved @la-ra-rumi @winwiniee @yijiujiujiu @nctlovesme

loveholic masterlist.

Lies.

That's what Jaehyun hated the most in the world, lies.

He hated the way you'd smile at him during class, only to pretend he wasn't even there as soon as you exited the room. It wasn't fair. He wanted to confront you, wanted to ask for an explanation for your uninterested attitude, but anytime he'd try, words got stuck in his throat, choking him uncomfortably.

Jaehyun wasn't sure when his interest in you began growing. He was never one to have secret crushes, so then, why you? What made you special enough for him to like you?

The answer came one lucky day when the professor paired you up together for a project. While people usually whined when being put in the same team with someone other than their friends, you seemed all but annoyed, smiling with your white, pearly teeth and waving at him as if he were your very best friend.

“Guess you’re stuck with me.” It was his first time speaking to you, beads of sweat collecting on his upper lip. “Jaehyun, right?”

He hated small talk almost as much as lies. Almost. But when it came to you, he could do it all day long if it meant listening to your delightful voice. All of his pent-up frustrations scattered as you started planning your schedule to work on the project. He’d only hum in approval, still too shy to speak to you.

“So tomorrow's okay with you?” Your head was tilted to the side, the tender skin of your neck looking awfully tempting. He pictured himself kissing it, having you struggle under his weight while he kissed it for hours on end. “Jae?” He was pulled out of the scenario his mind was working through by a gentle hand on his wrist.

There were no mirrors nearby, but the tips of his ears were surely tinted red by now. But most importantly, his pants were becoming uncomfortably tight in his crotch area. A touch from you was all his body needed to go insane.

“Sure.” You smiled, removing your hand from its previous spot. His skin itched for more contact, but he was too shy to initiate anything. “I need to go to the restroom.”

He rushed out of the classroom with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, pushing the fabric forward to conceal his growing boner. He relieved himself inside the small cubicle, his own heavy breathing muffled under the sound of a couple doing less than appropriate things inside the following stall. Would that be you and him one day? Probably, but not quite yet.

Your kindness had no limits. That's what Jaehyun thought when you sat down to have lunch with him, the guy who no one ever liked enough to hang out with.

“Why?” He asked on the second occasion you sit with him.

“Because I like you.”

You started hanging out more often not long after that. Even after you handed in your work, you were keen on staying by his side, and he had nothing to complain about. It was as if the universe was finally smiling at him, all the times you'd ignored him after class now long forgotten. He was happier, brighter than usual. He told his roommate, the closest friend he had, about you. He was happy for Jaehyun, of course, but a feeling in his gut told him something was off.

The night before your spring break started, you invited him to a frat party. He’d never been to one, he didn't like them. But you were so insisting that he had no other choice but to oblige. The entire house smelled like sweat, alcohol, and drugs, disgusting, he thought. However, it was all worth it when he finally got to see you, tucked inside a tight dress that showed the figure you'd so thoroughly hide in baggy shirts. He approached you, wanting to greet you, but one of your friends dragged you away. He didn't mind it, the night was still young and he'd have plenty of time to be with you.

Not even five minutes later, you reappeared by his side, giving him one of your signature eye smiles.

“Having fun, pretty boy?” A light blush crept up his face, settling at the tip of his ears. “Let’s dance.”

His hands were firmly gripping your hips as you rubbed your body on his, causing a more than an obvious problem in his pants. Before his brain could register the current events happening, your lips were on his. It all felt too sudden, yet, he enjoyed the way you'd nip at his lower lip. It sent him to frenzy.

“I’m so wet, Jae.” You mumbled seductively against his fleshy pillows. “Want you to make me feel good.”

You dragged him to the closest room, increasing under his adoring gaze. You were so beautiful, and all his. The promise of your union was sealed that night, as you fell asleep between his arms after three intense rounds of pure bliss.

“Jaehyun?” He felt someone shaking his shoulder, it was a male voice. His arms instinctively closed tighter around your naked body to hide it from whoever was calling him, only to realize it wasn't you who was between them, but a mere pillow. “Dude, get up.” It was his roommate Johnny, picking him up after he got a call from one of the frat members. “You got so wasted yesterday, let's go, I'll take you for food.”

Wasted? He hadn't drunk anything the previous night. Nonetheless, he left the house after dressing up. He tried calling you as they waited for their waffles to no avail.

“Jaehyun, I saw your pills today in the trash bin. Have you stopped taking them?” Johnny seemed truly concerned.

“I’m better now, John. For real.” The sincerity in his words put his roommate’s heart at ease. “I found someone, I like her a lot and it seems like she does as well.”

“Dude, that's awesome. We should hang out soon, I'll invite my girlfriend.” A double date, it felt like you and Jaehyun were finally official. But the question remained, why had you left the house early in the morning?

“Sure.”

Because you wouldn't pick up any of his calls, he had to wait until Monday to confront you. During breakfast, Johnny had crushed some of his pills and sneaked them into his eggs, you can never be too safe, he thought. And, oh boy was he right.

You were picking up your belongings from your locker, getting ready to go back home during the break.

“Hey.” He leaned against the closest wall, flashing you a dimpled smile.

“Oh, hey...Jay, right?” Was that a joke?

“Sure, whatever you want. So, my roommate wants to meet you, just let me know whenever you have time and I'll tell him. By the way...” He leaned in, lips brushing against the shell of your ears. Some curious eyes were looking at you, eager to know what was happening. “I really enjoyed that night, but it would've been better if I'd woken up with you between my arms.”

“Excuse me?” You backed away abruptly, escaping his proximity. “I think you're taking me for someone else.”

“What do you mean?”

Realization hit him like a truck. You were ignoring him yet again, but he wasn't gonna take it this time. He hated lies.

“Come with me.” He gripped your forearm, easily dragging you all the way to the janitor's closet. “You don't get to play dumb with me anymore. Stop fucking lying.” You looked like a scared little mouse about to be eaten by a cat.

“I-I’m sorry, but I'm not lying, the only time I've spoken to you was when we worked together. We haven't been in touch ever since.” Even in a situation like this, you still pretended to be kind.

“Lies.” His hands closed against your neck, slightly choking you. “I don't like them, so you better be good and tell me the truth before I do something we'll both regret.” Your eyes welled with tears as you begged for your life, his grip getting tighter with every second. “Come on, angel.”

“I’m sorry, I'm a liar!” Your air supply was running short and your only option was to say what he wanted to hear, even if it was just a lie. “Please!”

“That’s a good doll.” He let go of your bruised neck, letting you fall on your knees as you coughed. “Now, you better stop lying for your own good, are we clear?”

“Yes!” You choked out, unsure of what was happening at the moment.

“I’ll call you later, have your phone by your side.”

You had walked into a trap without even knowing it.

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (11)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, ANGST, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

SERIES:  CHAPTER 10 | CHAPTER 12

"You don't have to pay me, Guk."

 Jeongguk shook his head instantly. Yoongi was being absurd. How could he not pay his older friend?

 "I know you have the money, but I can't just take ten thousand dollars from you, hyung." The younger boy pouted his lips.

Yoongi should know by now that Jeongguk hated owing people something.

 Debt of gratitude sucked. It couldn't be paid. Ever. Jeongguk didn't want that. He hated sleeping at night thinking that someone out there could manipulate his feelings—this was how he perceived debt of gratitude: a manipulation. It was because he felt like he was bound please the person who helped him. It was as though he needed to act in accordance to the likes of said person.

 "Fine." Yoongi shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care about any of this. "Pay me whenever you want,"

 Jeongguk snorted as your voice echoed inside his head. If you were here, you would tell Yoongi that he couldn't just tell his debtor to pay him whenever he wanted. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

 Civil obligations like this one was only enforceable for ten years. If Jeongguk couldn't pay within the said period, the obligation would then become a natural one—something that would only be paid out of conscience.

 Jeongguk shook his head. Why was he thinking about the stupid law? Why couldn't he stop imagining your pretty smile as you talked about certain provisions? Why was he hesitating to accept his hyung's money?

 And most importantly, why didn't he want to leave you now?

 Your soulmate loaned thousands of dollars from Yoongi just so he could pay the down payment for the apartment that he wanted buy. He promised himself that he would terminate the lease of contract with you after four months. He just couldn't live with you anymore.

 You were supposed to be temporary in his life; however, with the way you were invading his mind even though you weren't around, Jeongguk realized that you were his constant.

 You were the only person who could tolerate his bratty attitude. You were the only person who couldn't get mad at him. You were the only person who made him feel special and needy—Jeon Jeongguk needed your attention so much that he felt like had to run.

 He didn't know when it started, especially because he believed he was not over Red yet.

 Red.

 Was Red the reason why Jeongguk wanted to leave you?

 This was what you thought while clutching the paper on your chest.

 It hurt, but as usual you had to pretend like you were okay.

 "Your parents are back in their hotel," said by Jeongguk the moment he entered your apartment.

 He was back from the thirty-minute drive.

 Your parents were scheduled to fly to Jeju Island tomorrow morning.

 "That's good." You discreetly wiped your tears away, trying so hard to make your tone sound enthusiastic. 

 Your back was facing him since you were afraid to let him see you crying.

 You didn't want to pester Jeongguk regarding his plan to leave. You felt like he wouldn't appreciate the drama you would obviously bring.

  Jeongguk didn't deserve drama—not when it was clear that he was exhausted. He took care of you these past weeks. The only thing you could do was to give him a damn break even if it meant sleepless night as questions like 'why am I not enough?' clouded your mind.

 "Thanks, Jeongguk. Goodnight!" You hastily added, refusing to look at him as you made your way to your room.

 "Wait," he stopped you like the way he did earlier today. This time, however, he stopped you by breaking your heart even more.

 "C-Can I sleep in your room tonight?" Jeongguk swallowed the lump in his throat; his heart was beating so fast.

 You flinched.

 How dare he ask something so insensitive?

 "Why?" Your lips trembled as you finally found the courage to look at him. It was a wrong move, though. You couldn't do it. You couldn't look at him without tears filling your eyes.

 Looking at Jeon Jeongguk made you realize what you could never have: him.

 You were grateful he's averting your gaze. Jeongguk couldn't meet your eyes as well. He was embarrassed and afraid. What if you rejected him? He didn't have any reason to cuddle with you tonight. Jimin was right. Your parents were the solution to help you get back on your feet. It was as though they had some kind of power. You didn't look like you needed your soulmate to make you feel better anymore. 

 You were back to your old self.

 Sadly Jeongguk had no idea that you were just pretending. He didn't know that you were forced to be okay once again. He wasn't even aware that he was one of the reasons why you're acting like everything was fine.

 "I just want to make sure you're alright," his voice was barely audible.

 Jeon Jeongguk was a liar. The truth was you weren't the only one getting used to cuddling with each other. Jeongguk was also craving to embrace you—to listen to your controlled breathing and raging heartbeat.

 "Really?" You suddenly huffed, causing Jeongguk to flick his gaze at you.

 Your soulmate was a good liar, you were not.

 There's a point where pain was too much to handle.

 Jeongguk was staring at you with puzzled expression. His mouth went agape upon seeing the tears streaming down your face.

 "You want to make sure I'm okay so you can finally leave?"

 "What?" He furrowed his brow, clearly not understanding the words you just said. How could he focus on anything when all he could see was your tears?

 Jeongguk wanted to wipe your stupid tears, but you weren't letting him.

 You took three steps backwards when he tried to reach for your face.

 Anger, frustration, and pain. All of these are visible in your eyes. Your thoughts were poisoning your mind—making you imagine what you thought Jeongguk felt.

 "You...called my parents b'cause you're t-tired of me, right?" You slurred.

 You wanted to run to your room since you knew you couldn't stop speaking your thoughts anymore. This wasn't right. You told yourself you weren't going to make this hard for your soulmate, so why couldn't he do the same thing for you?

 Why was he cornering you? Why couldn't he just go away? 

 And why couldn't you stop the venom in your words?

 "You don't want to deal with me anymore. You want to leave but you're guilty. You feel like you are responsible for my pain," this must be it. You kept thinking what triggered his sudden change of behavior. It couldn't be because he finally realized that he liked you too.

 No. That couldn't be right. The only plausible explanation for this was because of the guilt he felt. He only started to act like he cared when you told him that he hurt you too.

 "That's not true..." But Jeongguk was quick to dismiss the negative thoughts inside your head.

 You inhaled deeply. Fresh tears stained your cheeks.

 "What's the truth, then?" You picked up the paper that would prove his intention to leave.

 It was too late to stop now. You were already acting pathetic in front of him. 

 "Why didn't you tell me you bought an apartment?" You continued to ask despite knowing the reason.

 You didn't. You were imagining things. What you think was different from what Jeongguk felt. Admittedly, his eyes widened. He wasn't expecting you to confront him about this. Hell. You weren't even supposed to find out this way.

 Jeongguk was planning to simply sign the contract to terminate your lease agreement with him, leave your apartment in the middle of the night and never come back.

 Guess he couldn't do it now, huh?

 "I-I," he trailed off instantly. How could he explain this to you when he himself didn't know why he wanted to leave?

 Jeongguk wished it was easy to face his emotions. He identified them, but he still didn't know what to do—not even after spending weeks cuddling with you.

 He needed to be alone, he needed to figure out what he felt and what this all meant to him on his own.

 "Is it me, Gukkie?" You sobbed and your soulmate's heart clenched.

 Your back was against the wall, Jeongguk was standing so close to you to the point that he could literally see the tears forming in your eyes.

 It broke him more.

 "Did I cross the line? Am I being too pushy? Annoying? Hard do deal with?"

 Jeongguk could only bite his bottom lip.

 You proceeded to list the things your former maids despised about you.

 "Is Miri too much too handle? Am I picky with the food? Is it hard to wake me up in the morning?"

 Jeongguk avoided your eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.

 You noticed that he couldn't speak. Why? Was it difficult to admit the truth?

 "Or am I not buying you enough things?"

 The conflicted boy shook his head vigorously. You did not understand anything.

 "Do you need a new laptop? New clothes? Art materials?" You sounded so desperate. "Tell me, Gukkie. I'll do anything you want."

 "I don't need you to do anything." He said coldly as he moved away from you.

 Pain attacked your chest when you saw indifference dancing in his face.

 "You're still leaving me?" You quivered in fear. You were really pathetic. You said to yourself that you wanted him to go away, but the thought of him actually leaving made your stomach turn upside down.

 "Yes."

 It felt like an arrow shot you in the heart.

 How could he not stutter? Was he really decided to leave you?

 Jeongguk saw how his answer affected you, so he immediately defended himself.

 "I mean it's about right. I told you I'm gonna stay here for a few months. It's over now. I don't want to be your tenant anymore."

 "But why!" You whined. This wasn't fair! How could he decide without consulting you first? This was a reciprocal obligation. You deserved to know his reasons.

 Jeongguk scowled. He wanted to leave now. It was getting unbearable to see you cry—it was as though his chest was going to explode.

 "Do I really need a reason?" His frown deepened. "Can't I just leave because I don't want to be with you anymore?" A lie.

 "You're lying." You refused to believe him even if you knew he was telling the truth. This wasn't you. You weren't like this. It was unlike of you to keep pushing Jeongguk. You teased him all the time, but you didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. His happiness was your top priority.

 You swore you just wanted to know the truth. You deserved a reasonable explanation. He couldn't just say he didn't want to be with you. If he couldn't love you, then he should at least be able to respect you like a normal person.

 "Why would I lie—"

 "Because I'm your soulmate!" You cut him off. Your emotions were overflowing.

 Why couldn't you just let him go?

 "And I love you, Jeongguk." You cried. The table had turned. Just a few breaths ago, he was the one begging to touch you. Right now, however, it was you who was desperately trying to latch on him.

 Jeongguk pushed your hand away. He couldn't have you touching him. It would only make it harder for him to leave.

 "I love you so please don't leave me—"

 "You don't." He cut you off, flinching so hard because of how much he hated your confession. He felt like he was gonna puke.

 "I do, Guk. I love you—"

 "No!" Jeongguk insisted otherwise. He was being stubborn and it was irritating you.

 Who did he think he was to tell you what you felt?

 "You don't love me, okay!? You are wrong in all of this!" He took a step back. He was acting as if your touch was going to burn him.

 "You are delusional. Too caught up with the idea of soulmate that you failed to see the truth!"

 Jeongguk was shaking in frustration. He hated that he had to be mean just to make you understand things—similar to what Red did.

 "I can see the truth! I know the truth!" You carried on.

 He was the one being blinded here, not you.

 "You're just ignoring the signs, Jeongguk. The universe wants us to be together!"

 This wasn't a coincidence. You couldn't be wrong—not when he could see colors because of the love you felt for him.

 But he used this against you.

 "I am not your soulmate." His jaw clenched. "Your eyes can tell."

 You stopped breathing.

 "Your eyes tell." He repeated.

 Your mouth felt dry.

 It felt like you had been stabbed straight in the heart.

 If he was your soulmate, if he ever loved you—or cared, you would see colors by now.

 But no.

 You still see in black and white.

 Your eyes would not lie because Jeon Jeongguk was right....

 Your Eyes Tell.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, can you spare some advice for a younger butch? I'm in the classic dilemma of crushing on a friend. I have no intentions to pursue because she's asexual, but more importantly she's very uncomfortable with people liking her. I'm hoping my feelings will fade with time, but until then I'm worried that she'll notice, or I'll accidentally flirt with her since I'm not good with social nuances. I don't want to hurt her or our friendship. How would you handle these feelings?

You don’t say how old you are but I was very much inclined to crush on my volleyball teammates and my college friends. I never had feelings for any of the women I was very close to, like my best friend in HS or my roommate. But more casual friends or those I had occasion to share space with (volleyball) I would get feelings for. It is very normal.

 As a butch I want the women around me to feel safe because I am there and it made me nervous that I could make a woman uncomfortable if they knew I found them attractive. So.. I took great length to hide those feelings, holding back compliments and purposely not attempting to really get to know those young women. I described myself as shy.. that was an outright lie. I am and always have been outgoing and an extrovert but hiding under “I am shy” allowed me to avoid eye contact and any meaningful engagement. 

So I didn’t do a great job of taking care of myself and also respecting the space of my friends. I perhaps lost out on friendships that could have been.. I will never know. I was lucky I had one best friend, Kendra, and a few very good friends. 

Please take this for what it is worth. Young people who are unsure of their own sexuality which is NORMAL because hormones, circumstances, culture, media, family and religion often feel shame or fear or disgust at their own sexuality as it forms. And taking on the ID of asexuality is one way to sort of “exempt “ them from dealing with those feelings. “I don’t like boys. (ew) and I CAN’T like girls so I must be void of sexual feelings.. I must be asexual”. This is a common coping mechanism so her discomfort might not be so much with you as it is with herself, her internal conflict. DISCLAIMER: YES asexuality does exist but so does misuse of the word and ID with particularly younger people or those with trauma or fear around their sexuality. Either way that persons ID should be treated with respect and kindness. (as you are already going by being aware of  how she feels and taking that into consideration)

My advice. Compliment her on thing she controls. Her hair style, her clothes, her jewelry or something she drew or wrote. AVOID compliments on things she can’t control, eyes, body shape, laugh.. etc.    She will feel much more at ease that you are noticing the things she puts efforts into as opposed to those she can’t do anything about. This way you can still be kind to your friend but not over step bounds. 

I would avoid intimate settings with her until you get get over some of the feelings. Don’t cuddle up on the couch for a movie or go for long lingering walks. Have friends over for a movie or take woodland or park hikes where you are not solely focused on each other. You really can’t make your feelings leave except at a natural pace but you can take note of things that make them more intense and avoid that. IT sucks I know because you enjoy your friend’s company. 

In all fairness MANY young women are uncomfortable with being seen as attractive. So don’t feel bad. You are doing nothing wrong by developing feelings. If at any point your hiding your feelings feel hurtful to you and possibly to her (because lying to a friend is hard). It would be prudent to have a conversation with her. If she is truly a friend, someone who trusts you, then your friendship can survive a temporary crush. The best news, crushes tend to fade once in the open and if the feelings are not returned.  

I hope this helps. You are a good friend. 

[vee-is-a-writter-now]

•Lillies and daisies• Pt. 1

Prologue

Summary: Billy ends up stuck with a girl who stumbled into his place one night only to faint right after, when she wakes up she remembers nothing about herself or her life, now it’s up to billy to help her figure out what comes next.

A/N: After literally forever im back. I’m really excited about this story and maybe it’s starting to make some type of sense? I haven’t figured out the name thing yet butttt I’m sure I’m keeping the first person narrative. Let me know what you think

Warnings: Angst?, language, mentions of amnesia.

[[MORE]]

I was starting to wake up, and as soon as I took a deep breath, I knew something was missing. I didn't know what but it felt like a void.

I opened my eyes and saw white curtains hiding a bright sky.

Wait a second...  where am I?

This wasn't my room, in fact, I didn't remember what my room was like, but this wasn't it. 

Drowned on my thoughts, I slowly started realizing that my room wasn't the only thing I couldn't remember. My house, my family, my friends, myself, I couldn't even remember my name. I could barely notice that what I was wearing wasn't mine, merely because the t-shirt with "Pink Floyd" written on it was at least three sizes bigger.

It would be an understatement to say I was freaked out. I started breathing heavily and my eyes started getting watery, it felt like my head was soon going to implode from how fast my train of thought was going, it almost made me feel dizzy.

Before I could panic any longer, someone opened the door. A guy, with the bluest of eyes i’ve ever seen, probably due to my state. If I would have been in another situation, I probably would have... well, I don't know. I didn't remember what I would have done.

"So, sleeping beauty is awake. How was your nap, princess?" The guy said closing the door and coming closer to me.

Out of fear i hugged my legs to my chest sliding away from him "Who are you?" I asked, feeling how my voice cracked. Even my voice felt unfamiliar.

He seemed to have taken the hint and stayed right where he was standing. "Well, that's what I'm asking you". I could see the muscles of his arms tense while he crossed them.

"What do you mean? This is your house isn't it?" The amount of questions I had on my head were making me even more dizzy than before.

" Yeah, house you ran into without invitation last night,only to pass out right after." I was about to tell him I wasn't in a mood for jokes, but I could tell how serious he was, his eyes were darker than they had been seconds ago, and they seemed to be lightly tinted with concern.

"Sorry, I-I did what?"

"So you were that drunk huh?" I, for a second, thought he was as confused as me, but his face was so expressionless, I just couldn't tell.

"What? No... I mean I-I don't know"

"Right... Lets start with easier questions, princess. What's your name." I closed my eyes, I tried to remember as hard as I could but nothing came to my mind. "It's not that hard"

" I'm... i-i... I'm sorry, i can't remember." A single tear rolled down my cheek, while I pronounced those words.

" Shit" i heard him whisper "Do you remember where you live?" I shook my head silently " Do you remember anyone you know?" No, again.

" What's happening to me?" I said so low he almost couldn't hear it.

“Im no expert but i think you have amnesia, let me check your head.” he waited a couple seconds until he was sure i wouldn’t freak out if he came any closer, then he walked to the opposite side of the bed and sat behind me. His hands delicately started parting my hair and pressing softly. Nothing hurt until he got to the lower back of my head, as soon as his fingers touched that area i felt a pulsating pain so strong i had to hold my breath.

He quickly removed his hands apologizing for the pain. “It looks like you took a pretty rough hit here, i think there’s blood too but i’m not sure. I’m gonna bring you some ice, that might help with the pain.”

I heard his steps behind me and soon enough i saw him walk out of the room leaving the door open. When i looked behind me i noticed the pillow had some specs blood on it as well, not enough to get worried but it was still there. Not long after he was back with a pack of ice wrapped around a towel, he handed it to me and i carefully placed it on the wounded area.

I exhaled heavily trying to put all the pieces together. The fact that I didn't know where I was, who this guy was, who I was, and most importantly, where I came from. I believe neither of us knew what to say on a situation like this so we just stayed silent for a couple minutes.

He was the one to break the silence "Look, I gotta go out for a couple hours. You can spend the night here if you want, I don't mind." He started to pick up some stuff from the night table. As almost every other piece of furniture on the room, it was a medium light brown with an old looking vibe.

"Thank you so much, but I don't think it's reasonable to stay in a strangers house." I looked down and started playing with my fingers. For some reason the way he looked at me made me feel really nervous and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to make a coherent sentence with his eyes looking into mine. "I'll get out of here as soon as I can, don't worry."

He stood there for a couple seconds just analyzing me, and then said:

"I'm Billy, I love music and I work at the record store. Lucky for you we are not strangers anymore." He winked at me and then walked out of the room.

I sat there with a racing heart and a racing mind, feeling all types of ways and absolutely nothing at the same time. Nothing made sense, i was confused and scared, and i didn’t know how i was gonna get myself out of this one.

I heard what I thought was the front door closing and I decided to stand up and go look for a bathroom. That didn't take me long because it happened to be inside his room following a walk-in closet, where I found some clothes that I supposed were mine, and if they weren't I was going to wear them anyways.

I walked in, and as soon as I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt shame tinting my cheeks a light pink. My makeup was completely fucked, I had worryingly big under eye bags, and my lips where pail and swollen for some reason.

-------------------------------------------------------

While washing my hair I noticed something interesting. The smell of the shampoo almost made me feel like normal again, it felt like something i’d felt before. I thought it was so ironic I found this stranger's hygiene product more personal and close to me than my own face. I didn't think anything else of it.

Half an hour later, i was putting on a coat that seemed somewhat my size. Billy must have had a girlfriend I didn't know about, a roommate or a sister, I don't know, but I was sure that coat wasn't his. I felt bad taking it without permission, but in my defense it was fall, which I figured because of the browny-orange trees outside of curly guy's window, and that meant it was gonna be windy and cold.

Before getting out of there I looked around. Something made me feel warm about his house, it looked rustic, everything was brown or warm toned, which matched perfectly with the season outside. I wondered if that was intentional.

On my way out I closed the door and spent a solid minute trying to decide if I should go right or left. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, I would have been lost either way, but a small dandelion seed flew right in from of my face, dancing with the wind going east, making the choice for me.

Just when I couldn't see the apartment behind me anymore, I realized how screwed i was, why did i think it was a good idea to walk out of the apartment in the first place? God, i didn't even knew which city I was in. I was starving and had no money to buy anything, or so I thought until I slipped my hand inside the coat to get it a little bit warmer, and I felt a handful of bills there. Lucky for me it was a ten dollar bill and two dollar bills, it wasn’t much but it could save me from starvation.

I started looking around for a place to eat from where I was standing and not far I saw something that seemed like a coffee shop. Without a second thought i walked in that direction feeling my stomach growl every time louder.

The smell of warm bread and coffee that smacked my face as I opened the door was glorious. I closed my eyes and smiled before walking to one of the empty tables and sitting on one of the dark wood tables closer to the window.

I was so distracted looking at the place, I didn't even noticed when one of the girls that worked there walked to my table and started talking to me. "Good morning and welcome to Harvey's, can I help you with your order?" She was looking at me with a bright smile on her face.

"I... umm..." what do people ordered on this type of places? My cheeks started to blush once again. "I want whatever the hell smells so good. What is it?"

" Oh, is a combination of our fresh bread and season special Hot cinnamon chocolate, should I bring you that?" The girl said on a sweet whisper, that made her British accent a little bit more obvious. British accent... did that mean i was in England? But then again Billy didn’t have an accent, which made me even more confused.

"Please" I smiled back, letting myself pick a little on the contagious happiness she expelled

I ran out of things to analyze moments later, so my mind went back to to everything that was wrong with me and my life.

It felt so terrible to be alone, and in the most literal possible way, I was. And then I started thinking if it was all my fault. Was I so bad that all the people and memories decided to run away from me? It sounded so dumb but in that vulnerable moment that’s what it felt like.

It was almost as if there was a void inside me and every thought was making it bigger and wider, which made me feel like if I was standing at the edge, like if at any moment I was gonna fall.

Tears slowly started to run down my cheeks, i almost didn’t notice them until one dropped to my hand placed on top of the table.

"Oh love" I heard the waitress next to me, gently rubbing my shoulder and then sitting in front of me. "Are you ok? Here, take a sip of your chocolate" I did as she told me, and took the napkin she had brought to wipe my eyes dry.

"I'm ok, just a little overwhelmed... that's all"

"Do you want to talk about it? The place doesn’t get busy until 10:30 so i’ve got a couple minutes free."

I really wanted to, so bad, and I couldn’t find a reason not to, why would I care when she was a stranger, just like everybody else? So, I told her everything, from the moment that I opened my eyes a couple hours before, until I walked into that place. And she listened, with that a sad look on her eyes that made them look a little more green “I’m so sorry, you must feel terrible. I wish I could help more, but all I can do right now is help you call Billy ."

“Do you know him?” I asked confused as i wiped my tears once again.

" Of course i know him, he’s pretty well known around here, specially by the girls. Such a pain in the ass but he’s a good guy. You got lucky there, you could’ve picked a creep’s house to break into and that would’ve been an issue.” she chuckled a little in hopes of lifting up the mood a bit.

" I... don't think calling him is such a good idea. Look, he has been very kind to help me and let me stay at his place last night, but for what I hear, he must have other people to welcome there, and I don't want to bother anyone. I’ll crash there tonight and i’ll figure something out tomorrow” i wanted to believe that so bad, maybe if i kept repeating it to myself it would come true

"I’m sorry, did you say he offered his place for tonight?" she said changing the sad expression on her face for an annoyed one. I nodded a little confused. “He did take you to the hospital, didn’t he?”

“No, he seemed really hurried to get out this morning, besides i’m fine, my head is hurting a lot less now.” that didn’t seem to relief her a single bit but before she got to say anything else, her eyes looked right behind me with surprise and I could only imagine who it was.

My heart dropped and unconsciously, I stopped breathing as soon as I heard his voice.

"Speaking of the devil” she said looking right at him, i still didn’t turn around, for some reason i felt he would be angry at me for leaving his place.

"I see you already met my guest, Mikie” he said in a relaxed tone. "I told you to stay at the apartment, you could’ve gotten lost." that was now directed to me, so i turned around to look at him.

Before i could reply, Mikie stood up from her place and said “She was starving dumbass, god knows how long it has been since she last ate something and you didn’t even think of offering her anything?” he didn’t reply, i guess he was as shocked by the situation as i was and the thought hadn’t crossed his mind. “I need a word with you out side” that last part wasn’t a question, Mikie walked through the door and when Billy didn’t move, she yelled “Now Hargrove!”

[raleighliving]

Raleigh Apartment Culture

So I'm of the mind that Raleigh is a great place to live. It has my favorite things, my favorite people, and I'm too broke to move anywhere else.

Raleigh works for me, but I recognize it doesn't work for everyone. Some people had less than ideal childhoods and wanna escape the state ASAP, some just want to live closer to their dream jobs or have new opportunities. That's all fine, but what if this describes where you are now?

What if, for the sake of argument, you're outside of NC and wanna move in? Moving is expensive, time-consuming, and risky at the best of times; so you wanna make sure that wherever you're landing is at least as good as where you started 90% of the time

"But RL," I hear you say, "you make Raleigh sound like an idyllic dreamscape populated with parks and a diverse kumbayah of peoples living in harmony"

I do talk about Raleigh in a positive light but, like a life saving medicine flavored like ass, sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.

So before you spend thousands of dollars on moving vans, boxes, and grits; here's a crash course on what it's like living in a Raleigh apartment, coming from someone whose majority of Raleigh Living (heh) has been in apartments.

First off, location. Any realtor will tell you that location is 80% of the sale to sound profound, and as anyone who has lived in the middle of ass-backward nowhere can tell you: It sucks having to drive 30 minutes to go anywhere.

Good news: With the Raleigh Beltline and connecting roads, there are very few places in Raleigh where your trip will last longer than thirty minutes one-way. Bad News: where you set down still matters because cutting down on travel is important for car and mental health.

North Raleigh is different from south Raleigh is different from northwest Raleigh, and the locals aren't the only difference you'll find between locations. Each segment of Raleigh has something to offer, with easier access to some attractions than others and neighboring cities for when you need something outside the RDU area.

Using downtown as the center of our wheel, people generally divide Raleigh into North and South Raleigh (with distinction given for NW, SE, NE, etc when needed). N.Raleigh is considered generally more upscale, a slice of suburban living interspersed with plenty of shopping centers for families and the moderately wealthy; but it's boring as all hell.

Want some fun? Excitement in the evenings and a more traditional urban experience with bars, night clubs, strip clubs, and more? South Raleigh is your best bet, at the cost of being the "sketchy" side of Raleigh. That kind of place where you'll see a bunch of auto shops that look abandoned but haven't been closed in the past 5 years and there's at least one customer from time to time.

Of course, this is a lot of generalizing but you'll find that it's still mostly accurate. The main exception in this is Capital Blvd, a highway cutting across north and south Raleigh on the eastern half of the city; a high crime corridor that's undergoing some changes in the northern half that have (somewhat) reduced crime but most people will still associate that area with the majority of Raleigh's crime and debauchery.

More importantly, is the distinction Raleigh citizens put on inside the beltline versus outside the beltline. The I-440 and 540 highways that wrap around Downtown form the mythical beltline, and to a degree what you have access to. Inside the beltline is the majority of workplaces, stores, and shopping centers; while outside you'll still have these things just to a more... dispersed extent.

North Raleigh actually kinda exemplifies this perfectly. Living inside the beltline, you have access to places like North Hills, Crabtree Valley mall, and Triangle Town Center. Live outside the beltline, like I currently am, and you're looking at 10 to 15 minutes to the nearest sheetz for that late night double hot dog fix.

So for point one: How important is it that you're near things? The majority of apartments and rental properties are in or around the belt-line, but if you want to save some cash on rent checks the cheaper properties are gonna extend your trips a bit.

Next, what can you expect in terms of neighbors? Does Raleigh have a hip party scene full of teens renting cheap apartments and blasting trap music at 3AM?

Depends on where you live

I swear not every point is going to be this, but there's an important distinction this time that affects the type of people your complex will likely have surrounding you; are you in North or South Raleigh?

North Raleigh has a ton of pre-schools, k-12 public schools (Leesville, Hillburn, Lead Mine, just to name a few), and office complexes that make up the job market. As a result the majority of apartment renters in north Raleigh tend to be families with a few small kids or so.

As a result, living off of Glenwood North and Edwards Mill I never had any noise problems from neighbors, the worst being kids playing outside at 3PM sounding like they were being murdered (which apparently is a common thing and I apologize to any neighbors I frightened with ghastly shrieks).

What I did have a problem with, however, was the typical Karen's you hear people complain about online. Renting a property now, we have access to our neighborhood's NextDoor page and it's hilarious sometimes to go on and read the comments, but living at a certain property we had a sort of mini-Facebook for residents

That thing was always full of either people who were moving out looking to sell their furniture or people passive-aggressively challenging each other/the apartment managers with comments about things happening around the complex.

Once I logged in to see one man accuse another, without ever actually accusing someone specific ("I know who did it and they should be ashamed" type post) of putting glass beer bottles under the tires of his truck to try and puncture them. Everyone acts civil in public, but then online they'll stir the pot harder than a chef with a hand mixer.

South Raleigh, you have the schools like Shaw University, Meredith, and NCSU; so the people renting down there are typically college kids. You'll see more apartments that cater towards them like University Village or University Woods, but sometimes these places will cater to both college kids and working adults

Avoid these places like the plague, because despite sometimes having a lower cost to live there the neighbors and their shenanigans will drive you up the wall (unless you're the type to join in, then go wild).

I've had friends stay at places like University Village and The Proper (formerly The Vie, formerly Wolf Creek) who've shared horror stories. 3AM parties ending in property damage or vomit in inconvenient places, drug deals not even trying to be subtle, and maintenance workers doing nothing because regardless of the apartment conditions; no school's gonna pull their contract with them unless news articles start getting written.

http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_898ddf34-82f5-11e7-b3d8-07059d248619.html

https://www.wral.com/vie-at-raleigh-residents-finally-able-to-move-into-clean-units/16887833/

http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_ea8ed7aa-a092-11e8-a2af-e70af36566d0.html

Otherwise, south Raleigh apartments are largely like north Raleigh apartments; except the crime rate tends to be a little higher and you'll run into more singles and people working full time.

Otherwise, Raleigh apartment culture is like apartment culture anywhere else in the country. You have a mix of apartments catering to those just looking to live versus more ostentatious luxury apartments with fancy pools, exercise facilities, and tech packages to draw people in.

If you're renting in Raleigh, however, do try to get a roommate or two if you can manage. Even with a decent job paying 800+ on a one bedroom one bath apartment can be exhausting at best, but with even one other person that can functionally halve your expenses

So if you're a young professional, or a student, or even if you have a small family, I can safely recommend renting in Raleigh. There's plenty of places that'll accommodate you, and cater towards your needs.

But what about everyone else? Are there people who shouldn't rent in Raleigh?

No

But there are groups who I'd seriously ask to consider their other choices before picking Raleigh as a destination for their new home.

For instance, are you a member of the LGBT community? A trans or non-binary individual? Well then, first off, I want you to know that you're loved and valid. I'm accepting of who you are and appreciate everyone's right to identify how they choose, but I'm not everyone.

Raleigh's bluer than other parts of North Carolina, as I've stated in other blog write-ups, but it's still part of North Carolina unfortunately and as a result, you'll face some challenges.

I doubt anyone's gonna burn a cross in your yard or knock over your mailbox, but Raleigh doesn't offer LGBT protections for housing, jobs, or credit/lending discriminations according to the Movement Advancement Project's website.

We have support organizations for LGBT and NB individuals, plenty of high schools and colleges have Gay-Straight Alliance clubs, and there are numerous businesses downtown that cater specifically to those individuals... but we're also the state that got into a lot of hot water because of a stupid bathroom bill, and our politicians are trying to pass anti-trans sports legislation (because they now magically care about the integrity of womens sports).

By that measure, but to a lesser extent, if you fall outside the Liberal/Conservative political spectrum then be prepared to have no one to discuss your politics with outside of a few sparse networks like the DSA.

Additionally, if you don't have someone to room with or a significant other to split costs with; you may want to try searching somewhere a little cheaper.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Raleigh housing prices aren't terrible for a major metropolitan city, but we're not the best prices in the world.

You can get prices on apartments and rentals lower than say, California or New York. However, compared to other parts of NC like Greensboro or Garner; rentals are still a bit much.

On average, a Raleigh apartment can run you about $900 for a single bedroom and a single bathroom. You can find cheaper, but often times there's some risk associated (Crime levels, quality of the room, quality of the property manager, etc.) Looking for a two bedroom? Then your average price is gonna jump up to around $1,200, and this is all before utilities and cable come into play.

It's true a lot of companies around here will pay more than the $7.25 minimum wage, but most low-skilled jobs will pay around 10-11 an hour.

I guess though, that's kind of an obvious statement. "Don't live in Raleigh if you can't afford to live in Raleigh."

I might expand on these thoughts at a later time, but hopefully for now I've given you some food for thought; or at the very least an entertaining read for a few minutes.

I love my city, and I love the friends I've made in it, but the sad truth is that nowhere is perfect for everyone; leastways Raleigh. If Raleigh sounds like the kind of place you'd like to live in, at least take a day trip to come visit and see how things go that way. Visit some stores, meet some locals, and form an opinion off of more than travel blogs and youtube videos.

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Part 4

Sunday was a day off, but Erik was wired to get up early and jog around the HBCU campus in his sleeveless white tee and Omega sweats on his way to the campus gym. He ain't say shit to his passed out roommate like he typically would about what he'd done.

"You know....," she paused eyes zoned into his. He ain't know what the fuck she was talking about and stared right the fuck back thinking she better mind her business if she meant who was he fuckin.. "Erik," she laughed, "Stop playing.. you know what I'm talking about..."

"Sup Pete," he called to a nigga from his physics class.

"Hey..," Pete grunted tryna squat a barbell and Erik had to pause and watch. He hadn't seen him there before and judging by his build, he was brand new to weights. The more they talked, Erik started to coach him, recommending a starting weight and talking him through reps. He learned that Pete had been turned down by some girl and was tryna make gains, convinced no girl wanted a boney nigga. Erik couldn't dispute that he got way more bitches with a six pack than without.

Instead of disputing, Erik passed down an old routine he'd started when he himself was a beginner watching Pete type it into a note on his phone before starting his own workout. Even more than performing on the yard, he liked working out. The gym was his second home. If being a chemical engineer didn't work out, he'd be a personal trainer.

The issue was when he left the gym, thoughts and issues returned. He still felt a little thrown. He'd stroked a bitch yesterday and left her very visibly confused and disoriented which, honestly... wasn't the big deal. That was a typical Saturday for him. But it wasn't just any girl, it was a delta soror. Engine RED. She seemed upset...

He seemed to be misjudging her a lot and he hoped it ain't fuck with their ability to coexist. He ain't need the drama of her badmouthing him to other women. She knew a lot of fine ones, she had influence.

"I shoulda just rabbit-fucked her," he grumbled on his walk back. "Shoulda broke her shit up and let that be it."

At least she couldn't say he had a little dick or a weak stroke, she just.. wasn't feeling it.

"Hey, boo!"

Erik turned to see a chocolate doll jogging his way. Her first response was to reach up to hug him around his neck, grinning up at him like she'd won a free cruise.

"Luna.." He wrapped his hands around her waist.

"Why you ain't call me? I missed you," she pouted. "Where you been?"

"Around.. Been caught up with studying and practices, you know how shit go."

"Oh. Yeah..," she fake smiled as he stared. "...That's okay. Hey, you wanna tell me something?"

"Tell you what," he asked suddenly defensive.

"I promise you I dont.."

"ERIK," she squealed. "Boy stop I'm serious!"

"Look I gotta go. I'll catch you later."

She was still smiling for no reason when he walked away, it was weird. He wanted no parts and that was what he told his boy Geo when he saw him at the caf. Geo laughed, finding it hilarious.

"Yo chill," Erik muttered drinking his coke. He put his arm out for his boy to stop but Geo was on a roll talking shit about Luna. They had a class together so he knew all about her.

"That's what happens when you fuck them weird girls! Harry Potter ass bitch. Lord of the Rings ass bitch. They get attached and think you their weird lil friend," he whispered, twiddling his fingers before sputtering, making Erik roll his eyes to keep his composure.

"Aye! We like Harry Potter round here," Erik retorted. It was funny but he ain't wanna laugh though Geo already knew he was dying inside.

"Next thing you know..," Geo swallowed tryna collect himself from tearing up. "She whispering shit in latin.. and doing weird shit with her hands," he coughed imitating a girl they'd seen the other day, playing with her own fingers in her own world. Erik spit his drink tryna keep a straight face but failed as he pointed at Geo who was in tears.

"Fuck you, she nice," Erik laughed wiping his mouth on the back of his arm.

In organic chem, Erik's hand moved fast across his paper. He was scheduled to tutor a guy directly after class on what they'd learned all the way up to chemical reactions and then he had to do his often work. It was only after all of that that he had time to think about his current relationship with Brit. Were they friends now? Regular fuckbuddies?

"Oooh, fuck yew, she nice," Geo mocked in a small wimpy voice. "I like Harry Pott-" he couldn't even finish without laughing with his head down and Erik squeezed his shoulder trying not to fall from laughing with him. He was wrong for that. He ain't even like Luna he was just fuckin on her for something to do. Ain't nobody he knew really fuck with Luna like that. She was weird as hell!

"You evil," Erik teased putting it all on Geo as he walked away with tears in his own eyes.

"Stop fuckin Color Purple ass bitches, Erik," Geo yelled still laughing. "You and me must neva paht," he sang doing the hand thing. Erik was done.

It was Monday when he saw Luna again in passing and she looked highly upset, looking away where she'd usually go overboard to make eye contact. When he asked her what was the problem it turned out yesterday had been her birthday which was why she was being so weird. She'd told him multiple times over the past week but he'd been so caught up with Greek shit and the fact that.. he didn't really care.. that he'd forgot. It explained her mood though. "Oh damn my bad shorty.. Happy Birthday," he granted before moving on. He didn't even know how old she was.

Wednesday was when he saw Brit again. He was hanging with his nigga Josh who'd pledged kappa and a few folks from Josh's criminal justice class at the picnic tables. They were cool. That was when the pretty brown skin girl he'd been making eyes at at the table looked off and Erik followed her gaze.

"BRITT-ANYYYY, GIIIRLL," she cheered, dancing in her seat and Erik's eyes widened seeing Brit approach, giggling in cahoots with the girl as she danced up to the table. This was a little awkward. Erik hesitated, thinking of making an excuse to walk away. He could be literally anywhere else so it was no big deal to just leave. Making eye contact, she nodded at him as if there was no bitterness or bad feeling.

"Sup Erik," she smiled and there was no change from how she'd been acting from jump. Had he gotten her wrong again?

"Sup RED," he grinned looking her red delicious ass up and down as she stood with her hand on her hip in a red cut out blouse with white pants. She wore that same signature red lipstick and then he noticed... her hair was in a ponytail today.

"Oh did I mess your hair up," he blurted watching the  flash in her eyes as well as the neck whip of Josh who looked very interested. "I know when I'm practicing, I play too much," Erik added making the sexual wording seem like an accident...

"Oh for a minute..," Josh scoffed, smirking as he looked between the two. "Hm.. nevermind."

"Yeah, keep your mind out the gutter," Brit scolded. Erik was thoroughly entertained. He remained on good behavior for the next 20 minutes and then it was time to head to class.

"Hey Erik," Brit called to his back as he was already 8 feet away. He turned back. "We should hang more often."

The meaning wasn't lost on him though no one else thought anything of it. Looked like he hadn't fucked it up afterall.

"Good fuckin wit you," he smirked causing her to smile at their shared secret.

"You two need to use better word choices," one of the guys smirked. That was Erik's cue to go to class before he said some more shit.

Most importantly, he thought he'd fucked things up with her but no. She was cool.. legitimately cool. In fact, he could see them kickin it just because they genuinely got along. It only took 20 minutes of going back and forth at the picnic table to realize they had a similar sense of humor. That was something they shared.. other than having lips of fire.

Speaking of, he wanted those again. When he reached his dorm room. He decided to kick his roommate out and he called Brit.

"Hey. Come to my room, you know where it is?"

"No and I'm not going over there. You can come here, you know where I am," she said hanging up. He stared at the phone like it was possessed. The girl had lost her mind talking like he didn't just make her toes curl last week. She'd been touched by an angel.

He could see he'd have to do some reminding.

"Tuh. No we won't." He had his bag of tricks and none of them were for kids. "You want me to fuck you, fuck you then nah it's finna sound like National Geographic on here."

"Matterfact," he muttered, hastily going through his belongings. He assembled a kit. A 'don't you ever on your life' kit consisting of items specifically chosen to carry out his plan, shoved down in a drawstring bag. He showered briefly before throwing on new briefs with the same outfit and he was out the door headed to her building. He texted when he arrived for her to escort him up.

"Sup," he nodded to her roommate whose name he'd already forgotten. There was another girl in there as well and he wondered why there were so many people.

"You don't mind them hearing you," he asked looking out the bedroom before Brit came and shut the door.

"Nah, they cool. Besides, we'll keep it down," she eyed sternly.

"I want it like last time actually, that shit was good," she smiles.

"What?"

"Like last time... do it like that."

He was twice as confused. Her entire speech last time was about why he shouldn't fuck like that and suddenly she was telling him he should.

"Am I having a stroke...?" She was playing too many games.

"No, but I'm ready for you to stroke me, nice and slow. Do it like last week.."

"But you said-"

"Forget what I said last week, I changed my mind. I'm a woman, it's what we do," she said heading to her bed to take off her clothes. This time he watched as she pulled her blouse over her head. He still helped with the hooks of her bra.

"Did you know you was gone get dick today," he questioned.

"Pfft.. No. Why?"

Her panties matched her bra. That was rare in the women he fucked. He just shook his head. "Nothing.. lay down."

Laying her back with his hand, he had a full view of her like before. He opened his bag up and her eyes started to question immediately.

"What's that," she asked quickly.

"A bag."

"But what's IN it?"

"Your orgasm. Want it?"

"Not like that," she frowned. "Uh uh. I don't know what you reaching for but we got everything we need between us. Just do what you did last time."

Damn, he couldn't experiment?

Thinking about it, he figured it would make sense.. her wanting to experience sex the way she had her first time. Maybe she needed to know if her cumming like that was a fluke. Yeah. It made more and more sense the more he thought of it. He'd humor her... it was only her second time afterall.

"Aight, it's a rematch then," he nodded approaching the bed.  He opened the bag again, but this time she didn't comment and he pulled out his condom, setting the bag on her nightstand.

[goldmcdal]

𝕀ℕ𝕋ℝ𝕆𝔻𝕌ℂ𝕀ℕ𝔾 ... 𝖗𝖔𝖝𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖊 𝖕𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖐 !

°✧｡ { MELTED ICE CREAM , AN EVERLASTING SMELL OF CHLORINE , RAINY NIGHTS } i can’t believe i just saw roxanne patek name ! yeah, the twenty-three year old that’s representing team australia in swimming this year. this is their third time in the games. i wonder if they’re as querulous and captious as people say. but, i mean, they seem pretty jocular and dedicated, too. well, we’ll see how well they do. °✧｡ *

[chris d’elia vc] what’s up my babies, hi! im literally so exited to be here & roleplay with all of you. my names meg, living in the est and i go by she/her pronouns. i go back to school in like a week and wow ... i don’t wanna deal with all that right now , but that’s life amiright ? enough about the dred of college life, here’s my lil cinnamon bun roxi. if you’d like to plot just hit that heart button and i will come running to you ♥

here’s her career stats !

timeline

1996, roxanne zsófia-lynn patek was to born vivian and mikael patek in cairns, queensland, australia. their second child and last child. she has an older brother by three years named lucas. 

her grandmother (paternal) would babysit roxi and her lucas during the days and even some nights when her dad had meetings. this was because her mom worked as a yacht stewardess so she was often away from the family and her father worked as a financier so he had a busy schedule, although he made a point to spend as much time as possible wiht the kids through activities like camping, surfing, bbq’s, and reef diving.

2002, her parents had roxi in gymnastics for a few years but she wasn’t really taken to it. she preferred to run off to the pool or talk her brother into bringing her to the beach down the road instead of stretching or practicing routines. 

her father noticed how much she loved being in the water and how she’d set up races with her friends, more importantly he noticed how she always won, even against the boys. that’s when he decided to put her into competitive swimming at the local ymca. she took to it well and her coaches often raved about her abilities.

2008, she started secondary school. she joined the schools swim team, found herself a tight knit group of friends who she’s still friends with to this day. 

within her first year on her schools team she’d broken most of the record set over the years as well as many records within the district. by her second year on the team she held every record but the ones in breaststroke. 

2010, she made her world championship debut in dubai. she won her first international gold medal, two silver medals, and one bronze medal (the only bronze medal she’s every had on an international scale). she medaled in every race she did that year.

it was a stand out year for many reason for roxi, of course for the obvious being her first worlds but also because her family had come together for the first time for her meet. her dad, grandparents on both sides, mom, and brother were all there supporting her in the stands.

she’s had unwavered support from her family ever since. they make it to all of her meets and have had no questions of her abilities ever since.

2011, her first world aquatic championship where she won five gold medals and a silver and set her first world record, ever, in the 1500m freestyle just before she made her olympic debut in london. where she dominated, taking home a gold medal for each race she competed in. breaking two olympic records,  two australian records, and a world record. 

2012, she attended that years world championships in turkey coming off her first olympic year, she and ryan lochte were named the best female and male swimmers of the competition.

2014,  she graduated from school and decided she wanted to study sports business but she wanted to explore her college years in a different country and so she applied to several schools around england and america. she inevitable decided  to attend stanford university where she was offered a full ride on a athletic scholarship.

although every summer she came back home to australia for about a month.

2015, her second olympic appearance in brazil. where she won four gold medals and two silver medals. breaking two world records, one of them being her own. 

this olympics was a different experience as she’d spent alot of time with american swimmers she felt it was alot easier to start building report around the olympic village between countries apposed to her first year were she stuck mostly to her fellow australians.

2017, the day after setting a world record at the world aquatics  championships she was competing in the 200m butterfly when she banged her head against the wall during a turn. she finished the race in 2nd but was brought to the hospital due to her head bleeding and the championships were put on an hour hold to clean out the pool. 

she had to announce she wouldn’t be competing in her last two races for the championships and took nearly a month off from swimming. 

during that time she debated retiring in fear of the accident happening again but decided to get back to training later in the year. 

2018, she graduated from stanford with a sports business degree and minor in international politics. she decided to move back home to australia were she lives just down the road from her parents in cairns.

2019, she’s just off one hell of a run at the 2019 world aquatics championships that was held in south korea. she has two new world records under her belt and four more gold medals. according to her coaches she is in the best shape of her life.

personality

 so basically roxi is not like other girls *eye roll* or atleast she will claim so until her last breath. 

she’s always been a total daddy’s girl and has been giving everything she’s every wanted in life, so she’s a tad bit spoiled y’all. she’s more of a whiny baby than a raging bitch though so that’s sort of a positive?!

she was never the best in academics, roxi was a solid b- student with a tutor, but what she lacked in academics she’s made up for ten-fold in her athletic ability.

she’s only had two serious relationships her whole life. 

is pansexual although she’s only ever dated guys before. 

she’s the friend you hit up when it’s curfew in the village but you wanna cause a little trouble maybe prank your neighboring roommates, or run through rome. she’s always up for a good time, so long as you’re not getting int he way of her training.

on the note of training, boy, no one trains more than this girl. she’s part fish basically and lives in the pool. she is the most decorated female swimmer she didn’t get there by being lazy that’s for sure lol.

she sucks at running so she kick-boxes for workouts when she’s not in the pool.

if she likes you you’ll know, if she doesn’t, you’ll know

I'll definitely add more to this as time goes on ~

[ourloveisforthelovely]

I'll keep you forever

Words 1,520

Summary: Falling in love with Sam and Dean’s half sister was probably one of the dumbest things Cas could have done! Love when it involves an angel and a human with the last name of “Winchester” will never be easy.

Ratings: M (1st chapter is fluffy…smut will be added soon)

______________________________________________________________

“Sammy I got some good news!”

Both Sam and Cas looked up as Dean walked in looking down at his phone with a huge smile on his face. It had been a long time since Dean smiled his genuine smile. Sam leaned back from his laptop with a curious expression on his face.

“And that is? Good news doesn’t happen with us much.”

Dean nodded.

“So I heard from Ava and she agreed to come stay with us.”

Sam’s mouth dropped as he stood.

“What the hell did you do to get her to agree to that? Not that I’m not happy because i am ecstatic but she told us she wouldn’t do that unless hell froze over.”

Dean glanced at Cas who looked confused.

“I know hell hasn’t frozen over Cas before you say it. Ava is our sister….half sister. She was Adam’s twin. She’s agreed to come stay with us.”

Cas nodded. He knew well about Adam after calling him assbutt and lighting him on fire while he Michael’s vessel. Cas didn’t know much about Ava. She had distanced herself from her family for the most part which left Sam and Dean jumpy over her. The boys clearly had a better relationship with their sister than they did their younger brother.

Cas was pulled from his thoughts when Dean started speaking again.

“She should be here like 45 minutes.”

Dean cheerfully went back to the beer in front of him and didn’t say much until a knock on the bunker door made both himself and Sam jump. Sam quickly stood racing to the door followed by Dean. Sam gave his brother an excited smirk before opening the door.

Cas who hadn’t moved from his spot glanced over to see Sam pull something small into his arms.

“SAMMY!”

Sam smiled eagerly hugging his sister tighter.

“Damn dude don’t kill her. It’s my turn.”

Dean said taking the girl from his brother.

Upon being let go Ava who thought the life had literally been hugged out of her smiled at her two older brothers.

“Suprise! So just to throw it out there you all were right. I do need to be here with you both.”

Cas blocked out the conversation going on feet away until he heard his name mentioned. He looked up as Dean said his name finally looking at the girl feeling like he had gotten struck by lightning. She was without a doubt the most beautiful thing Castiel had ever laid eyes on

“He does talk from time to time. Angels can be odd.”

Dean said with a smirk earning a scowl from Cas.

“Hello”

He managed to get out looking back to the girl who looked remarkably like Dean. She had his hair color and the same green eyes except a few little differences. When she smiled it was Sam’s smile. If Cas didn’t know better he wouldn’t have thought they were only half siblings.

“Hi.”

Her voice was almost musical to him which left Cas in even more confusion. What was he feeling and why was he feeling this way? This wasn’t a feeling he had ever had before. Was this what love felt like? If so he wanted more of it…but was it wise? Wise to love a girl you had just met and literally knew nothing about other than the fact she had the most precious smile? There was also the fact she was human and was young…very young. Cas pushed the thoughts from his head. It wasn’t wise and couldn’t happen.

Over the following weeks Ava got used to living with her brother’s. They were in and out so it wasn’t as if they were spending every waking moment together. She could live with that.  Ava hadn’t told them the real reason she was moving back. She wasn’t ready to even admit that one to herself yet.

Then there was Castiel….Ava stopped stirring the pancake mix she was working on when the thought of the angel came into her mind. Within the past few weeks she had grown increasingly closer to him so close in fact that he was living in her dreams.

“I need to stop this.”

Ava muttered. Falling in love with an angel probably wasn’t too smart. He probably wouldn’t even understand her feeling. If he did he wouldn’t want some fragile human. Cas would want some beautiful angel girl that could give him anything he wanted.

Ava was so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t even heard Castiel appear in the room. He stood watching her for a moment before looking at the clock on the stove that read 2:14 am.

“Are you alright?”

Ava jumped hearing his voice. She quickly turned to see Cas watching her with that adorable confused expression on his face.

“Cas you scared me. I didn’t even hear you come in. Is everything alright?”

Cas nodded.

“Of course. Why are you up so late?”

Ava shrugged.

“Insomnia strikes again. You’ve been away for a while.”

Cas  nodded looking awkwardly down at the ground. How did he tell her that he had kept away so he was fawning over her? How did he tell a girl who was literally thousands of years younger than him that he wanted her? Most importantly how did he tell her about a war in heaven and even if they did get together it would be hard?

“A lot of angel stuff going on.”

He replied as Ava walked to the couch patting the place next to her.

“Come keep me company. Sam and Dean won’t be awake until noon. They haven’t been in bed long.”

Cas walked over taking off his trench coat before sitting down. The two sat in silence for awhile watching boring late night movies.

“You look exhausted.”

Cas said softly. Ava nodded.

“This insomnia is awful. I’ve had it since Adam and my mom died. The nightmares are awful.”

“Did you see the die?”

Cas asked slowly slipping his hand around hers and to his shock she squeezed back.

“No…I found them.“

They remained quiet for a few moments with Ava periodically stroking her thumb over his knuckles.

“I can help you sleep you know.”

Cas suggested silently hoping he wasn’t going to push her away or make her think he was coming on too strong. He wasn’t ready to admit to her that he had spent the past few days observing humans in relationships and their behaviors. If she would accept him he wanted to know how to act.

“Ok.”

Ava replied feeling more than willing to try whatever the angel had up his sleeve for a sleeping trick. Cas slowly turned her in his arms so she was laying with her head on his chest. She could clearly hear his heart beating and for the first time in a long time she felt peace.

Cas slowly placed his index finger and middle finger on her forehead slowly lulling her off to a peaceful sleep. As her eyes closed and she nestled against him Cas watched her with love filled eyes. At this moment he was almost positive that he had formed a union with her. Human or not he would love her and keep her safe. He would find a way to keep her young and not let her die.

At the same time he was scared. He had seen his brothers find their soulmates only for it to not last. Would Ava tire of him and his not so human ways? What if his lack of people skills and lack of knowing how to be a good lover was a deal breaker? Cas didn’t want to pour his soul out only for it to be crushed.

Cas sighed stroking a hand through her curls. He couldn’t stay away though. There was no way he could. The connection was too strong to break. Ava’s soul called to him in a way that no other had in the years he had been in existence. But he was worried…worried about his enemies that would possibly hurt Ava to get to him…it could be a disaster.

Slowly he leaned down pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. Ava sighed happily still not letting go of his hand.

“Ava?”

“Hmm?”

She responded with a yawn and a nuzzle to his chest. Cas couldn’t fight it….not at this moment. He gently brushed her dirty blonde curls away from her face before whispering in her ear.

“May I keep you?”

Ava smiled squeezing his hand before clearly falling into a deep peaceful sleep.

(Part two will be out soon)

@greenappleeyes