#more like post commentary for yesterday but anyway

[keep-on-trying]

Man, I don't know what to say about Arly's SQ, like it was pretty good and interesting and all, buy also a bit predictable due to seeing the animated short. The battle was kinda tough on me shsjssk, I didn't pick my best team and tried to do it mainly on Traveller LOL. That was a mess.

But on the other hand, that made me more convinced on pulling for her and, once again, I won 50/50! At 76 pity thou lol. Her weapon is so pretty but I cannot guarantee it so, never mind for now.

One thing I started thinking about. Freminet mentioned that he joined HotH after Clervie had died, and before Arlecchino killed Crucabena. Does that mean that, technically, Arlecchino was his big sister before? :D From big sis to father, shshsjsj.

[junosswans]

FMA sketches by Ace Attorney's character designer, Iwamoto Tatsuro

For the past week, Iwamoto-san has been posting sketches of FMA characters on his twitter as a part of his daily sketching challenge and they are absolutely BEAUTIFUL.

I really want to share his art over here and also translate his posts for you all because I think his commentaries are quite insightful for people who are interested in character design!

[Those who know their AA lore would recognize him as who voiced Edgeworth (Mitsurugi) in the games :3]

Anyways, below are his FMA sketches he's shared on twitter so far! (Contains: Ed, Hughes, Kimblee, Mustang, Breda) You can click on the dates to see their original post. I will add to this post if he shares any more sketches, it seems that he has been on an FMA roll xD

###

25/11/2023

If you draw your favourite things out you will know them better! So, this is Edward Elric from #FullmetalAlchemist.

Even if you have decided on the pose you want to draw, it is better to sketch out these three first:

the moment before the pose is struck

the pose itself

the moment after the pose is struck

then decide which image works better for your art. I learned this from a really great senior of mine, and it is very solid advice.

###

29/11/2023 (Translator's note: I decided to move this one to the top because it is my favourite. No I don't accept criticism.)

I have been drawing Ed's automail again.

I like it when the machine part has a distinctly different silhouette compared to the human body, so I added some original ideas to the design.

What design should I draw next? Perhaps I should draw the military uniform?

# (combined two posts because they’re the progression of the same piece.) #

26/11/2023

Again, it is the time of "drawing your favourite things to know them better!"

It feels so good to draw such great characters...

27/11/2023

My Photoshop has been crashing for mysterious reasons the whole morning, and I tried to troubleshoot in the afternoon and it was a PAIN. Computers are really difficuuuuuuuult--

###

28/11/2023

Iwamoto-style drawing Masterclass: Bonus!

It is the "Give the leather and metal items a bit of flare/shine to immediately make the drawing look more complete"-jutsu!

###

30/11/2023

I wanted the clothes to give off an oversized, loose impression.

Canon Hughes didn't seem to be wearing a shirt underneath... hmm.

03/12/2023

I am beginning to understand the structure of the military uniform better...

Realising the butt flap/cape didn’t actually connect to the upper jacket is a shocker to me.

###

03/12/2023

A continuation of yesterday's sketch

...or so I thought, until I realized how King Bradley and Kimblee during the Ishval war had a different overcoat design, in which they actually wore a single long coat instead of a separated upper and bottom set.

###

04/12/2023

When his clothes were unbuttoned, there was something that looked like an additional button on his right chest... I wonder if it could be fastened from the back?

(Translator's note: sorry, I have no idea what button he's referring to here lol)

###

05/12/2023

I like how each character's personality was expressed through the way they dress. Contrary to his appearance, this person was very intelligent, which makes him such a great character.

[chalkrevelations]

Oh. My god.

So, last night, I reblogged a gifset of that conversation Pete has with Pol when they’re on stakeout, tailing Vegas, sitting around in the car, and Pete wants to know who Pol thinks would do a better job – Vegas’s bodyguard or Pete? And I added this bit of commentary:

My theory on the closest thing Pete has to a sexual fantasy at this point in the narrative and his life: Pete saves Vegas's life in some kind of shootout or assassination attempt that no one else could have protected Vegas from, thereby earning headpats from Thee Vegas Theerapanyakul, who Everyone Knows is a completely detached sociopath who usually has no more use for his bodyguards than as human bulletproof vests (which is somehow different from the main family for no reason I can discern but apparently exists?). Only now, Pete has proven himself and is both Noticed By and Special To this violent, emotionally inaccessible man (who, as an added bonus, is in a position of power over him). I mean, for whatever variables of "special" Pete can even conceptualize at this point, anyway. And I wonder how many times he's imagined this. It's Pete's very own mafia-filtered version of the Bad Boy fantasy in which you're the only one he cares about - you're the only one who can have that effect on him - and that makes you the Most Special-est Girl. C'mon, who's the most inaccessible Bad Boy in Pete's sphere? Certainly not Kinn, who'll just up and tell Pete that he trusts him the Very Most - even more than Pete's best friend! who Kinn is fucking! - the hot minute that Kinn's coercing Pete into doing something he really, really doesn't want to do. And you know Pete's daydream version of what makes him the Most Special-est Girl involves killing someone the best and quickest and most efficiently - because if he wins in the ring a fight, then the most emotionally inaccessible, violent man he knows (who, as an added bonus, is in a position of power over him) will love him, right? Not to mention, a guy with that many gun posters doesn't get stuck on Tankhun-babysitting detail and not have fantasies about proving his worth via violence. Listen, he just spends an awful lot of time standing around in Vegas's right-hand man spot like he's trying on the position during Ep 7, is all I'm sayin'.

… in which the vague allusions to Pete’s Daddy Issues were absolutely intentional. And I’ve also commented before about Pete finding another home with an angry man at the safehouse. And yet it wasn’t until yesterday’s post rolled up on my own dashboard and I saw it again today that the Brick Of Revelation hit me in the head and I thought about this through the framework of - my god! Pete and Vegas really do play out the very scenario that Pete warns Vegas about when you’re seeking the approval of your father abuser!

In the safehouse, Pete wins. He achieves his fantasy. He pulls the thorn out of the lion’s paw, and he gets the notice and special regard of Vegas Theerapanyakul, and he gets his world rocked on top of that, and then … then it turns out nothing changes. Vegas – the guy who expected that Pete winning in the ring would mean that his father would stop beating him, the guy who continues to seek his own abusive father’s approval, who keeps trying to win against Kinn, in the hope that Kun will stop treating him as a disposable whipping boy – Vegas goes right back to physically and emotionally abusing Pete. On top of that, the fantasy doesn’t play out in reality; Vegas literally tells Pete that he’s nothing special. (I mean, lies, of course, but the fact is that Vegas says it right to his face.)

I just. This is another one of those instances where I walked up to this revelation and even walked all the way around it, poking at it, but I just never looked at it straight on until this moment - the way Pete’s experience in the safehouse so closely mirrors his experience with his father. We watch Vegas continue to recreate the cycle of abuse, and we're like, "oh, dude, you need to make some better decisions," but we've also just spent 2.5 eps watching Pete, dispenser of this very wisdom, fall back into the same patterns he warns Vegas about. Because breaking that cycle and changing your behavior and your expectations is hard. Even when your head knows better. The things this show says about generational trauma and intimate violence and patriarchal control, I just ... god. Just, don't mind me, I have to go claw at some drywall for a while.

Also, it makes me wonder if Pete did kill his father. Because if he ran from home the same way he ran from the safehouse, if we’re supposed to look at this echo forward into the present of what happened in the past, then are we supposed to think that maybe there was a similar confrontation in the past, in which Pete struck out before he extricated himself from the trap he was in and ran?

Vegas is a lot younger and more resilient (and used to being knocked around) than Pete’s dad probably was, at that point.

[fa-by]

I LUV IT

Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼, me again 🙃. I posted a new Q&A yesterday, and @camrensrealbish (btw hi, bud 👋🏼😄) asked me in the comments if I could create a post just for I LUV IT's two analyses.

@camrensrealbish: “Hi Faby, I love the interpretation of I LUV IT. I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 👌😅. I think it explains so well that this era is not surface-level at all. That thought through lyricism and symbolism is definitely still here. And how we’re so eager to dismiss hyperpop as stupid and without substance, be it for our convictions about femininity or sexuality, or even caution because of how other people use women’s sexuality. But when done purposefully it just shows how showing someone’s sexuality in this way *can* be empowering and authentic. And I think this is the case here. Can you please post your song commentary in a separate post, please? I would like to share it properly 😘”.

I originally wanted to post the two analyses as I did here now, but I couldn't because Tumblr has limited the possibility of posting more than 30 pics and I don't know why the fuck 😤. So thank you, dear 🤗. You gave me the excuse to be able to do it 😉.

Enjoy 😊.

Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I hope you're good too and about your ask, sure 😉.

So. I LUV IT ft. Playboi Carti released on March 27, 2024, is the first single for her fourth LP: C, XOXO. It's a hyperpop/experimental pop song and it samples Lemonade by Gucci Mane and interpolates Cockiness (Love It) by my queen RiRi (Rihanna). The studio recording with Carti was completed on Dec 17, 2023: (Carti's instastory)

Let me tell you something, this song was meant to shock. She pulled a Yes, and? and it worked 😎. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to by that, I meant that Yes, and? was Ariana Grande's single for her album Eternal Sunshine and it's a diva house/dance-pop song, which was a different and unexpected genre especially then comparing it to the rest of the songs in the album when it was later released. It's a great song, but if it weren't for the concept that connects to two other songs, it would have nothing to do with the rest of the album musically and sonically speaking. It was a calculated idea to make it different from the rest. It's very smart and it's a good strategy for both a comeback and an album. I feel like I LUV IT is exactly the same thing. An impactful comeback was needed and this, together with the platinum blonde and the new era in general, served the purpose. The song was meant to be talked about for better or for worse. And guess what? Mission accomplished 😜.

This song is not for everyone. There are those who loved it right away, those who hated it and still do, and there are those who hated it and then slowly loved it. In reality, most people hated it and then loved it 🤣. I personally didn't hate it but I didn't love it right from the start either, not gonna lie. I just liked it 🤷🏻‍♀️. But after the third listen? Bouncing ass, tongue out, aaaand I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 🤣!! This song is definitely a grower! The more you listen to it, the more you become addicted to it 😍.

But anyway. Unlike the video, the lyrics talk about sex. So let's get started. Oh and, of course, I won't include Carti's mumbled Atlanta rap or as his fans say, the Cartinese, simply because he wrote his part.

***Btw, I can no longer listen to Carti’s “Oh, you on the road now? - Oh, you grown now? - Oh, you too grown now” without bursting out laughing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. I can't help but hear Nas' imitation of Carti's voice in the HE KNOWS music video🤣🤣🤣. For me, those three sentences have now become just one repeated X3: “Oh, you on the floor now” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣***

Oh oh oh, last thing before starting. If you're a prude, LEAVE NOW. Skip the whole lyric analysis and go straight to the music video analysis. The song is about sex like I just said and I therefore won't hold back from explaining certain things, okay? I warned you 🙋🏻‍♀️. I don't wanna see complaints in the comments as happened years ago. Thank you.

Song

Verse 1:

“Supersonic, in your orbit”

So, supersonic. One word from which two derive: super and sonic. Super: above the rest, better than the rest. Sonic: derived from the Latin ‘sonus’ which means sound. Super-sound. Basically a loud noise, a sound/sonic boom that (the actual meaning of supersonic:) breaks the acoustic barrier by traveling at a speed faster than the one of sound. A flight can be supersonic. As well as a missile and even a gun bullet.

An orbit is an ever-changing path one object in space takes around another. An unscientific example? A dog with its favorite toy often orbits their owner insistently because they want to play with them. Speaking from personal experience here 🤣.

***Oh and, lil fun fact. In prostitution specifically, orbit was, and perhaps still is, a code word for oral sex***

Ultimately, “Supersonic, in your orbit” means that Mila is this supersonic boom, this let's even say supersonic shock that orbits around her prey. As I've said many other times in my analysis, Mila likes to use wordplay in her songs and this is basically her artistic way of explaining sexual provocation. She's provoking her target.

“And I’m bad, diabolic”

It's giving intense energy and mischief out of the ordinary 😜. She knows she's good at it (provocation). She has a goal (to sleep with her) and succeeds because we have the aftermath of her intent in the next sentence.

“Bottle rocket, on the carpet”

Her favorite lyrics because many people didn't grasp the meaning 🤣. Definition of bottle rocket: a firework typically consisting of a cylindrical case that is partly filled with combustible material and fastened to a guiding stick which may be placed in a bottle to control the direction of the rocket's launch.

In this case, in sex, bottle rocket is the representation of cuming hard in an explosive way.

Rockets have a phallic shape, so the first thing that's assumed here is that it's the sperm that's on the carpet, also because the song acts as straight 🙄, but where's the deception? Even girls can give someone a bottle rocket. How? By being an explosion and not a normal female cum orgasm, with female ejaculation also known as squirting.

Ergo, she's talking about herself. This song is not about sex with a guy and I can even prove that with the next sentence.

“Threw it back and he caught it”

Round two, doggy-style position. Movements: “Threw it back” her ass “and she caught it” with the hands by placing it directly back on the face aka mouth-tongue (clue about the lil fun fact I mentioned earlier) or by directing the entrance of the cave of wonders on the dildo (since Camren loves toys so much 😜🤣🤭). But, given the “he” because, again, the song acts as straight 🙄, the meaning should make you think of the guiding on the dick. But no. As I said before, I can prove it.

When guys cum, it literally takes them a while before they can go again. Some need 10/15 minutes, others hours or directly the next day because they literally physically can't. It's rare anyway that they manage to go beyond the second round (unless they're in the midst of adolescence and are like 14/15 years old 🤣), and those who miraculously can make it, also last very little and their cum is also very little. And mind you, I'm not saying these things to belittle men. I'm not making anything up. It's the pure truth. Not only have I experienced it myself (cause yes, hi 👋🏼, I've been with my gf for 3 years but I'm bisexual and I've had relationships before her), but these are facts that you can even look up if you don't believe me.

It's obviously not the same for all guys and they're all different, but us girls literally need 5 seconds or nothing at all to recover, and we don't have limits like they do. Unlike males, we females can have multiple orgasms. Sexual arousal and orgasm are possible again right away. So no. It's impossible she was talking about a guy.

If she was really talking about a guy, it's impossible that immediately after his Bottle rocket, on the carpet (yet another proof that Mila was talking about her cuming, her squirting) he didn't need some enough available time for round two (Threw it back and he caught it). Let’s move on 💪🏼.

“I go soprano, baby, go down low”

Soprano in music is the highest note, so in this case, going soprano means she's screaming with pleasure. And in her euphoric state, she guides her partner back down there into her buried treasure.

“And when he leads, I gotta follow”

The movements. Like in dance. In partner dancing, there are those who lead and those who follow. They're designed roles to facilitate the movements. The one who leads manages the body of the one who follows and decides the dance steps and direction of travel from time to time.

The thing that makes me laugh about this part is the “when he leads”. “When” 🤣🤣🤣. Because she's the top and she's the one who leads most of the time because Laur's the bottom (even though they're both also switch) so when Lo leads, when, sometimes, occasionally, I gotta follow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh Mila 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤣.

“I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral”

She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out).

“I need you now and tomorrow”

And forever.

I’d also like to add a deeper meaning of sex to I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral – I need you now and tomorrow. Although she said the song is about sex, she also said:

“Part of that cocktail is also the emotional drama between you and that person, and the chaos and butterflies and nerves and passion. It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I LUV IT.” – “Now I feel kind of lonely and small and weird, but at the same time, I’m an adult and I feel so strong in other areas of my life, but not this one. There’s just the wrestling of those feelings without it being kind of neat or in a box. You can’t really say that it’s a sad song, you can’t really pin it down. It’s just kind of me wrestling with these feelings and me kind of being really present on a particular feeling and exploring it. I feel like a lot of songs on the album are that”.

So going deeper, “I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” indicate her anxiety. Being on a spiral or simply spiraling, is an emotional state that rapidly worsens in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to control and often leads to short-term periods of anxiety or depression. Aka her OCD gets triggered. Which by the way, I remind you that for her leads to obsessions and repetitive thoughts. And in a certain way, we can also see it in the repetition of the same phrase in the chorus.

So here she's saying: 1) I’m blackin’ out, aka I'm going crazy, I'm freaking out (connection/thing that reminds me a lot of “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” Bad Things [analysis here (eleventh ask)]) 2) I’m on a spiral, aka I'm anxious, distressed, worried, fearful. Why? Because I don't wanna lose you aka 3): I need you now and tomorrow. This alludes to the desire for connection and intimacy that goes beyond sex.

Both meanings (sexual and deeper) however indicate the intensity of her uncontrollable and erratic emotions towards as she said “that person” Lauren. But she doesn't care. “It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I…?” She…? She what? Sing it all together🎤🎵🎶👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼:

Chorus:

“I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, ooh

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it”

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…...

27.   27……

27 times, huh? 😜 What a wonderful coincidence! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 of all the numbers, precisely the 27. Would you look at that 🤣🤣.

No seriously tho. The words have to fit and respect the tempo of the song, but coincidence or not it's still funny for me 🤭.

Post-Chorus 1:

“Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X2)

Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x2)”

This part was sampled from the song Lemonade by Gucci Mane. Lemons are basically yellow diamonds (known as Canary Diamonds) cut/engraved in the shape of the letter V (an expensive method of cutting diamonds).

The meaning behind that would be that people would “freeze up” in shock at seeing this display of wealth and success, these lemons/diamonds, “in their face”s. They're oh so surprised and intimidated that they even freeze up for this luxury lifestyle thrown in their faces.

Umm………. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Do we really care? Of that? Okay 🤣. About something she didn't even write? Something that she literally took copied and pasted into the song? Pfft, okay. Can we move on? Thank you 🤣.

Verse 2:

“Super twisted, sick addicted”

Twisted: someone who's mentally or emotionally unhealthy or disturbed: sick. --> Sick addicted: someone who's unable to stop doing something as a habit. Ergo, she's saying that she likes/enjoys it a lot and wants to spend as much time as possible doing what they're doing: sex.

Nonsexual meaning: She's using strong words to describe not only herself but also what their relationship is like. They may be twisted, and addicted, and toxic, and all the other things we've seen in their songs, but no matter what, she/they LUV IT, cause they luuuv each other.

“Kiss me hard, someday you’ll miss this”

A dig for all those times they break up or take breaks.

“Meteor shower, in your power”

What's a meteor shower?

The meteor shower is nothing other than what we commonly call shooting stars. These are obviously not stars, but meteors. Meteors are the aftermath of asteroids and comets that ORBITATED the SUN.

Asteroids (celestial bodies composed of rocky bodies) and comets (celestial bodies composed of frozen gases) become meteoroids when they fragment. In turn, meteoroids ignite and disintegrate when they enter our solar system, becoming meteors, ergo shooting stars. Those that don't disintegrate and manage to touch the earth's ground instead become meteorites.

How does a meteor shower happen?

The meteor shower happens when the earth, in its ORBIT around the SUN, crosses an area in which fragments of rock and dust (meteoroids) lost from a comet or an asteroid (celestial bodies made of rock, dust, and ice coming from the outermost areas of the solar system) are concentrated. When an asteroid and a comet heat up as they pass close to the sun, they reach such temperatures that they fragment even more (meteoroids) and when these very tiny fragments enter our atmosphere, they ignite and burn due to friction by generally developing tails, luminous trails (shooting stars) until they vaporize or leave debris (meteorites) behind.

Lil fun fact: some meteorites found on earth come from the MOON 🤭🤣. Most come from destroyed comets and asteroids, but some come from Mars or the moon.

So, after this compelling little science lesson, I can explain what Mila means by “Meteor shower, in your power”.

It's very simple actually. A meteor shower is a celestial event. She's comparing their sex to this astronomical phenomenon, the “Meteor shower”. The “in your power” is due to the fact that Lo’s the one who’s leading as we saw in “And when he leads, I gotta follow” in the first verse.

“Seein’ stars, oh my God”

The retina sends light signals to the brain by making sparks, stars, or flashes of light appear in the visual field. When does this happen? It usually has to do with the head. You've made a movement too fast, like standing up suddenly, or you've been hit on the head, or you're about to lose consciousness, etc. These are all negative aspects, but we're talking about something positive here. Sex.

This amazing sex (Meteor shower), this second round (Threw it back and she caught it), brings her to another orgasm (maybe even another Bottle rocket 🤷🏻‍♀️😏) during which she feels so bewildered, so dizzy, and she experiences this very surreal feeling that overwhelmed her by even Seein’ stars during it. Seein’ stars: to climax, to achieve orgasm.

This can very well be connected with ““I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out)” that I explained earlier.

Oh and, the “oh my God” was her, um 🤣, comment, to express that ending if it wasn't already obvious enough 🤣.

Bridge:

“Slow down, baby”

All of Playboi Carti's “Uh, uh, uh, uh” before Mila's “Slow down, baby”, at least to me, indicate the thrust of the act. Again, he “sings” them to prove the song is straight 🙄, but we know the truth. Anyway. The “Slow down, baby” means exactly that. Either Mila's settling down from the end of round two and needs a tiny bit more time to go as fast as they were going before, or she simply wants this third round to go at a slower pace than the previous one, or better yet, Slow down, baby like in ‘stop, it's my turn now’ (to lead).

Another proof that this doesn't talk about sex with a guy. As I said before, it's rare for guys to get beyond 2 rounds, so let alone a third one 🤣. Sorry, not sorry, but it's literally the truth 🤣.

And that's it. I luv the fact that Camila's lyrics in this song talk about sex but she uses words that still perfectly capture the magnetic attraction between the two of them. I luv how she's quite unapologetic about it. And I LUUUV how she also used these cosmic references in general, but above all, how they anyway hide in a certain way the two important celestial bodies in our sky and solar system: their representation, aka the moon and the sun.

Now let's move on to the music video where everything that could go wrong happens 👍🏼🤣. What is she trying to convey here? Let's find out.

Music video

Opening scene. A Robin Hood wannabe who takes coins from his pocket.

Three empty stationary police cars in a driveway while an aspiring lumberjack cop is, for what initially appears to be, cutting down a tree to prepare for winter.

KhaleesiMila enters the scene 5 seconds before she starts singing. She looks like she just came back home from the night before given her outfit and her slightly messy hair. But not her makeup. The makeup is perfect of course because it's still a music video 😉.

She enters the kitchen with a chocolate cake in one hand while with the other she nonchalantly tosses her heels in a spot where it's very usual for us girls to leave them 🤣: at the doorway or in the bedroom on the kitchen counter.

She starts singing and eating a piece of chocolate cake at the same time.

At the same moment as the first bite of the cake, we have a really well-done perfect transition of her spitting her mouthguard out in a somewhat snobbish but challenging and provocative way because she's ready to fight against a professional female wrestler.

Soon after we have a 3-second split shot of her chewing the cake in the kitchen again and her and Carti in the gas station, before cutting to a long one where we have the reappearance of the archer from the opening scene.

From this moment on, all the small shots, the little introductions that we initially had, are explained a little bit more extensively with longer scenes and shots. Still messy 🤣, but longer.

Hospital part 1

Now that we see the surroundings, we notice how Legolas wannabe is in the corridor of a hospital and that the coins he took from his pocket in the opening scene, he needed them to get something like a chocolate bar from the vending machine. After taking it, he walks back to a white-dressed Mila who's sitting with an arrow in her heart.

A flash passed before my eyes and for a moment I was back in 2019. Why? Liar. The cover art picture of the song portrays her as an angel with wings.

Camila explained that Cupid strikes her with his bow to make her fall from heaven and unmask her, by making her not so angelic anymore because she's actually a liar who's hiding something, that is a secret [hmm, I wonder which one 😏😎🤫🤐🤣]. This whole story created for the song inspired the visual for the entire album Romance (whole album inspired by the surrealism of a museum of love stories in heaven).

So I asked myself, what is this? A connection to Romance but direct to Liar? No. I'd say more that she paid homage to it since even though the lyrics are about sex, the ideology of the video is about their toxic relationship and how she knows it's toxic but she LUVs IT anyway.

Anyhow, I guess that at the arrow in the heart scene, you all thought that the Green Arrow wannabe was Cupid. Same thing here, mostly because of the connection with Liar. I initially thought: “Oooh, it's Cupid! Cupid shot her with his arrow, ergo she's in love. But she's lovesick, and because of this the hospital: love - sick”. Then I saw the whole scene (plus the ending which I'll explain, well, at the end 🤣) and I realized: “Nope. Not Cupid. Not Cupid at all. Hi, Lauren 👋🏼”.

***Let's be clear. This is a music video. A creative and imaginative way of portraying objects, people, and scenarios in general. Yes, it's Camila's POV, but Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life. Okay? Every artist does it. It's art. Literally, as the word implies.***

So, back to the scene. Rewind. Lauren Hawkeye wannabe takes the candy bar from the vending machine and goes back to Mila. *This is the point where I got to before.* He doesn't even look at her. He just sits. Contrary to her who follows him with her gaze as he sits down and she also turns her head to look at him one more time before looking straight ahead.

That chocolate bar or whatever the fuck it is, it's not even for her. He took it for himself without even having the thought of taking it for her or taking something for her as well. I mean he's like, he's there for her. He went with her and he accompanied her also because he hit her with an arrow. Like yeah, we know that. We can see that. But even though he's there for her, he at the same time doesn't acknowledge or address her at all. He's just there. Present and not. Waiting for her turn.

While she, even smiles with her mouth closed as he's returning to her, but it's a smile I'd say forced. A kind of smile that masks how uncomfortable she feels. It's a wan smile that shows no energy or enthusiasm. It's a stoical ‘grin-and-bear-it because you're used to it after all’ kind of expression. That smile alone makes you understand how ‘normal’ this situation is for her. She's so used to it that it's a standard routine for her. It doesn't come as a surprise.

In a situation like this one, in a hospital, with an arrow in the chest/heart, anger or pain or both reactions are what you expect to be shown by her. But no. She's just there. Waiting for her turn.

Meaning behind this? The arrow in the heart represents a metaphorical way to express the idea that love can be both powerful and overwhelming, capable of causing joy and pain in equal measure. In this case however, the arrow in the heart doesn't represent a tender sweet and romantic symbol of Cupid and Valentine's Day. It represents a heart-piercing emotional pain. In this case, that arrow is nothing more than a heart-stopping arrow through the heart.

Fight & Dogs

In the next scene we have the professional female wrestler again. Like when she spat her mouthguard out in the opening brief shot, Mila continues to have this defiant attitude *she’s so hot there btw 🤤🥵*.

She shows herself as very self-confident with this superior aura and this cockiness that gives off an ‘I can kick your ass’ vibe. All of this flies out the window the moment the wrestler makes her move against her and Mila shits in her pants and starts running away 🤣.

At the same time that she starts running, we have another perfect transition of a running dog.

Then we have another very brief shot of her continuing to eat the cake in the kitchen, before alternating the fight with the wrestler and not just one dog running randomly, but her being chased by no less than three dogs 🤣.

These two scenes are connected on the part of running for your life. Literally as far as the dogs are concerned 🤣. And speaking of the dogs, the scene represents the danger and risks of being in love with someone. It represents all the feelings of chaos that go along with it. It represents feeling afraid and helpless with a constant internal battle of anxiety and fear. Being chased by dogs is stressful, scary, and unpleasant, BUT, it's even adrenaline-pumping and the depiction of it, is basically like an excited nightmare that represents not knowing where things are leading. Running into the unknown. She's scared but she does it anyway because the journey is electrifying.

Going back and talking about the scene with the wrestler, the running scared to avoid the actual physical fight is the representation of avoiding the confrontation. And that's something we know Mila does thanks to both her and Lauren. We also know this because in 2016 she herself said that she avoids conflicts with people. It's a vice/bad habit that she's always had.

BUT, no matter how much she tries to run away and avoid this confrontation, it always happens. Sooner or later, she eventually always finds herself having to face the problem unwillingly or not. The representation of this in the video is when she's captured. We actually see this section almost at the end of the video after Carti’s “🎵tursin-eh-oh-and-halloh-eh-halloh-eh-halloh-I'm out o-controool🎵” 🤣🤣🤣. We see the wrestler chasing and catching Mila, which leads to the headlock wrestling move.

Now let's talk about this section with the headlock that we see both at the end and currently in the first chorus of the part of the video where we are. Specifically this one here. We see several headlocks in sequence, but the one I want to focus on is the second one, where the wrestler is enacting the chokehold with only one arm.

Like, umm… 🤭 The way you caress her arm and look at her, and the way you sing “I luv it” with your tongue sticking out in that seductive way 🔥.

I mean... Mila, honey…😏 I see you! 🤣

No wonder in the BTS of the video she said: “I've been the most excited for this scene all day”. Hmm 🤔, I wonder why is that 🤣🤣🤣. Just as I'm not surprised by the other clue she gave in the interview with Bru On The Radio when talking about the scene: “It's like a little homoerotic. It's cool! But um- * she bursts out laughing by looking to the side* -yeah”.

Homoerotic: 1) (especially of art, literature, drama, or the like) using symbolism, allusions, situations, etc., that invoke sexual attraction or activity between people of the same gender. Example: There's definitely some homoerotic subtext in that book. 2) having sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or gender, especially when that attraction is repressed. Example: To say a man has a “streak of lavender” means that he has homoerotic desires. 3) relating or involving sexual activity between people of the same sex. Specifically: marked by, revealing, or portraying sexual desire between people of the same sex.

I have nothing else to add, Your Honor. I have nothing else to add 😎🤣.

No but seriously now. She doesn't act that way during the other headlocks. In those, she tries to fight back and somehow defend herself by trying to free herself. We see her react in a rather normal way to that type of situation. But in that particular hold? Nope 🤣. We can see how much she likes it. How attracted and aroused she is. The reactions she has during the other headlocks represent her external side, what really happens and what she lets see. While in that particular one, we see the toxicity of what happens in her inner part. The “I luv it” to the choking which on a larger scale, represents her toxicity in loving the pain. Even though they're fighting and she hates the confrontation and is in pain, she LUVs IT anyway because she luvs HER.

***Mind you that this is only an additional representation and seen in a more generic way. I don't see it as fitting to the theme of the music video as much as the one I've already explained to you now.*** A broader meaning could also be the representation of how the love for Lauren is so strong that she can't fight it. We've seen this other times in the lyrics of songs like This Love [analysis here (the penultimate ask)] and Señorita [analysis here (the last ask)] where Mila was having an inner struggle because, on the one hand, she wanted to protect her feelings, and on the other, she couldn't resist her. Ergo, the scene where she tries to fight this love, the professional wrestler, but she loses and thus is ultimately defeated.

House

Next scene we have her continuing to eat the chocolate cake plus this guy who comes in and rides around her house on his motorcycle and she does nothing.

Let's dwell for a moment on her eating.

Where have we seen something like this before (besides the reality of everyday life)? In every damn movie and TV show since forever 🤣. Someone is sad for some X reason like they had a fight with someone, or they're going through a breakup, and what do they do? They eat either something chocolate or ice cream. 90% of the time it's something chocolate related. Why? Because when consumed, it releases endorphins in the brain that produce a mild feeling of euphoria by mimicking the feeling of being in love. This is why chocolate is called the love drug. It gives comfort and joy and when we're down, we emotionally crave chocolate because we're unsatisfied with something.

Her eating chocolate cake in this case is an indication of unsatisfied desires and emotional needs.

Now let's go back to the guy with the motorcycle. He's destroying everything in his path and she's simply there, munching on her cake unbothered.

He's causing a mess but she doesn't even try to stop him. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't scream, nothing. And why? Because as I said before by talking about that type of smile in the hospital, this situation is ‘normal’ for her. She doesn't react simply because she's used to it. The chaos of their relationship doesn't surprise her also because, I mean, it's been years and years.

The house depicts her head and what happens in it. Him destroying the house is a representation of how she sees his bringing chaos into her life and their relationship. On a deeper level, her not reacting to the destruction of the house represents the fact that she's so in love that she ignores bad and toxic behaviors. The whole scene represents the toxicity and destruction that a relationship can bring into your life but you keep trying because you LUV IT. Lauren brings love, happiness, passion, euphoria, but she also brings chaos which also encompasses mess, confusion, disarray, whether all good or bad. We also saw this type of example in the lyrics of Consequences [analysis here (penultimate ask)].

Successively we have a mix of scenes, among which are the cop one of the opening scene, the car one, and the bathroom one.

Palm tree

We can finally see that this aspiring lumberjack cop is chopping this palm tree because Camila is on top of it.

Now, I have two interpretations for this. The palm tree represents Lauren/their toxic love in both interpretations.

N° 1, she's stuck on the tree. Being stuck represents her way of saying that there's no way out of their toxic relationship even though someone (represented by the cop) or more than someone (since there are 3 police cars even though we only see one cop) tries to get her out of this situation.

N° 2, the one I see as the most truthful, the most right one. She's not stuck on the tree. Mila is Walzing it 🤣🤣🤣 (for those who don't know, Dinah used to call Mila ‘Walz’ and here you can find the reason why the nickname was born). Her koalaing the tree also represents her co-dependence. She's clinging to it and doesn't want to let go.

She's on the very high point of the tree; visual meaning: danger. If she were to fall, she would die or be seriously injured. But she doesn't care. She's ready to risk her life. Deeper for the representation: her love is so strong, that she's ready to risk it (“I'll risk it all”, as we've already seen in Used to This [part of the interpretation that you can find in the analysis of Only Told the Moon here]). She's ready to risk everything/risk it all even if she were to lose her heart and if it were to affect even her mental and physical health as we've already seen in the lyrics of Consequences.

Even in this case, the cop represents someone or more than someone in her life who tries to get her out of this situation. They use extreme ways to do this, representative of getting her down: cutting down the tree. Why? Why doesn't this cop who clearly knows that this person is experiencing some kind of problem call the fire truck to bring a ladder to save her since that's what's normally done in these situations? Or he doesn't go directly and find one himself? Why doesn't he talk to her and try to reason with her to get her down?

Because it's not the first time this has happened. The cop (her family, her friends) is so used to and tired of seeing their on-again, off-again/cycle/loop/circle, that he decides to help her in a more brutal way in this case. Representation: chopping down the tree. It doesn't matter tho. It doesn't matter that other people try to help her in hard ways. She doesn't wanna lose her, and therefore she depicts how even though she knows it's a toxic relationship, she's clinging (codependent) to it and continues to love her because she doesn't want to depart/separate herself no matter what. Reason why we even see her singing “I luv it” while she’s glued to the tree.

Car

Speaking of falling (and how these two scenes are connected). Instead of that tree, here we see her having fallen over a car. Part of the car is destroyed, as is she. It's a representation of being in love and how it can sometimes destroy you. But again, we even see her singing “I luv it” because she doesn't care.

She doesn't care about falling and being crushed by/for her. They've taken a lot of risks over the years. They've suffered, they've hurt each other, and they've fallen down and gotten up every single time. And those wounds, in the video are represented as real wounds with cuts, bruises, gashes, and all that jazz.

She doesn't even care when we, the public and the fans, see her destroyed like that. We've seen it many times, especially after years and years spent growing up in the public eye. By this, I'm obviously referring to the woman who's immortalizing the scene with her phone.

Although that, it's also a representation of what would actually happen in today's world: instead of helping or calling an ambulance, the woman is filming or taking pics.

Bathroom & Bedroom

Contrary to the connection that the tree and the car scenes have, this one is connected to the ones of the dogs and the professional female wrestler.

We first see her in the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and even lifts her shirt up to look at her belly. Let's say normal things that we all do, and so far, nothing strange. Then we also see her perplexed and undecided tho (when she sighs with her finger in her mouth). And we see her rehearsing. We see her change her expression to a determined one and make the gun gesture with the fingers of her hand.

***Sorry but I have to tell you guys 🤣🤣🤣. I found it extremely funny how she made the gun gesture with her fingers precisely at “someday you’ll miss this”. THIS and bam: fingers out 😏😎🤣.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry 🤣🤣 one day she'll miss, what, Mila? Your gay fingers?🤣🤣🤣 Oooooookay 😉🤣***

Back to normal. All that represents her mentally preparing herself, and for what? For what we then see in the bedroom. Before heading there, we can see her expression of determination but more importantly, we can see her pissed-off expression.

She walks into the bedroom with this imaginary automatic machine gun that she uses to shoot and destroy the bed. As she does that, the footage also shows us the rest of the room, and what do I spy with my little eye 🧐? A frame hanging on the wall. And what's in that frame? Five boys with the word ‘sorry’ written on their backs.

Wait a second, wait a second… FIVE???? 😲 Five as a reference to Fifth Harmony? 😱 Five as in 5H because it's a hidden clue to confirm that she's talking about Lauren? 🤯 WHAAAAAT??? 😵

Yes, guys, yes. For those who haven't noticed, the answer is yes. Camila doesn't do things shittily. There's always meaning in the things she does, whether it's hidden or not. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or something different about that clue, don't be fooled. Why 5? Explain the 5 otherwise? They could've used a thousand different things like, for example, an apology/sorry note left on the bedside table, or even just one guy with sorry on his back in that frame since all of this is supposed to be straight and about a guy 🙄. But no. They used FIVE of them specifically.

Moving on.

The rehearsals she was doing in the bathroom that we later saw lead to the destruction of the bed with the imaginary automatic machine gun, were all due to Mila being pissed off about something Laur had done. Something we know thanks to the not-so-hidden apology message in the frame. Now I don't know about you 🎤🎶but I'm feeling 22 🎶🎤 sorry but I had to 🤣 but I know that even though Camila is magical, she doesn't really have powers 🤣. So even though this is the representation of her being pissed at Lo, she didn't actually shoot the bed. It was all in her head. She was just imagining doing it. Yeah, she was angry, but we also know that she'd run away in reality to try to avoid conflicts as we saw in the scene with the dogs and in the scene with the wrestler (aka Laur herself), during which, however, we also saw that the wrestler captures her and that therefore Mila was then forced to face.

Hospital part 2

During the mix of these three scenes (Palm Tree - Car - Bathroom & Bedroom) just discussed, we have two small shots of Mila in the hospital. The first during “oh my God” and the second during “I luv it”.

We see her looking in one direction before saying “oh my God”. It's an exasperated “oh my God” because no one's assisting her yet.

She sings “I luv it” by tapping her finger to her temple in rhythm but we can see how impatient she's starting to get for the wait. Yeah, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, but she's irritated and frustrated.

Gas station

Mila and her friends pull over into this gas station. A guy with long hair immediately approaches to serve them, but instead of refueling the car as we normally expected, he does it to them. He takes the pump and fills their glasses with gasoline, even though we know very well that it was actually nothing more than “some disgusting water-down apple juice”, according to Mila herself.

All this during “Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X4) - Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x4)” Oh well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade Camila Cabello drinks gasoline 🤣.

Sorry, sorry 🤣. Joking aside now.

Drinking alcohol produces euphoria. It's stimulating, exciting, and lowers inhibitions and control. It's intoxicating, and although this word usually indicates something positive, it can also represent something negative especially when associated with alcohol. Drinking alcohol is intoxicating in a good way, but if done too much, it's intoxicating in a harmful way. In this case, alcohol is the representation of another hyperbolic metaphor. It's yet another concept represented in an exaggerated way. Gasoline, fuel, or whatever the hell it was, is obviously toxic. Ingesting it is dangerous. It's yet another representation of their toxic relationship and tendencies and how she doesn't care going against all common sense because she LUVs IT.

There would also be another possible meaning behind this scene due to Playboi Carti's verse. He talks about drugs (Novocaine and Mary Jane), luxury cars (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ), and rebellious life in general.

Novocaine is a drug used as a local anesthetic normally by dentists. Mary Jane is the literal English translation of the name Marijuana. Spanish: Maria/Mari. English translation: Mary. Spanish: Juana. English translation: Jane. Ergo, Marijuana: Mary Jane. In the past when drug users talked about marijuana, they called it Mary Jane so as not to arouse police suspicion.

I explained all this because specifically his talk about drugs made me think of a different possible meaning behind this scene. You see in the US, many drug dealers operate out of gas stations. Mila and her friends are getting gas at the gas station. In slang, ‘gas’ is a noun made popular by rappers to refer to weed/marijuana.

It might be that the scene has both meanings. Alcohol for her and drugs for him. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe we would've seen it for real if Carti hadn't arrived late for the video shoot. But anyway.

Right after that, we have the dance scene. I have two interpretations for that even here. Both true.

The first one: Don't expect me to say sweet and predictable things like that she's dancing hypnotized because she's drunk on love 🤣. Nope. The blindfold is supposed to represent how blinded she is by love and shit, right? The typical phrase ‘love is blind’ that makes someone unable to see the flaws of the person they love. True, but at the same time in her case, bullshit tho. Buuuullshit! Because we saw throughout the video how she's aware of everything.

She chose to put the blindfold on and dance freely whether it's just for fun or distraction or to literally dance the pain away. She chose to put it on to ‘not see’ the flaws, the toxicity, and all the negative things. She knows. She knows they're there. It's just her choice to ignore them because, once again, she doesn't care because she luvs it and her.

The second one: Based on the getting gas in the previous shot, whether it's just alcohol or whether it's also marijuana, that's why right after that scene we see Carti with his hoodie backwards (it's literally backwards, look closely) before he starts singing and Mila and the girls dancing together blindfolded with X’s over their eyes.

It represents the beginning of the effect. 😵: literally the dizziness of drunkenness and/or stonedness. In a deeper way, it represents love being a drug/addiction to live to the fullest (dancing).

Again whether it's just alcohol or weed, that's also the reason why at the end of the video they're both comfortable and relaxed in eating calmly as if they don't have a care in the world (despite the video being completely the opposite). Both alcohol and weed increase hunger and appetite, sometimes leading to strange and uncontrollable cravings. That represents half to almost the end of the effect.

Hospital part 3

She's still waiting. She's still waiting for someone to help her remove that fucking arrow from her chest. The whole reason she's been there waiting for probably hours. Nurses even walk past in front of her but still no one assists her. As before, she's still annoyed, but now she's also discouraged and sad. Not only that, but the male version of a Katniss Everdeen wannabe is also gone. Representation of a breakup or one of their breaks. Mila's alone, and suddenly, the wound begins to bleed.

In this case, the arrow through her heart symbolizes feeling emotionally hurt. Since loving someone is not always a walk in dreamland, but it also consists of twists and turns and can really fucking hurt you, here we see how her heart starts dripping blood. The bleeding can also represent how toxic relationships leave you in the end. Again, love is pain but she LUVs IT.

Thing more important, the wound begins to bleed because she's no longer with her. It didn't do it the entire time Laur was with her, but her heart started to bleed in pain only after she left. Representation of how her heart, although already wounded (arrow) by her/for her, cannot bear to be without her (bleeding). As I also explained in my This Love’s interpretation, the choice over the years has often been between having her and suffering, or not having her at all, and as we know, she always chose her.

The end

So, that was the music video. It gave me Miami and Florida. It gave me GTA and crack house feelings 🤣. It gave me wildness and adrenaline. It gave me roller coaster. It gave me college students traveling for the holidays/Spring Breakers movie. *For those who don't know what I'm talking about 👇🏼*

Especially here with this promo.

*Last minute edit: she just said Spring Breakers is one of the inspired aesthetics for the new era*

She in specific, gave me addicted to pain. She gave me impulsiveness. She gave me a fast-paced lifestyle, full of passion, desire, and disregard for consequences. She gave me vibe. She gave me boujee. She gave me dance. She gave me actress and humor as has also happened in other videos in the past (although less than those ones) such as for example Havana, Liar, My Oh My, Bam Bam, Don’t Go Yet, etc. (it's not the first time Camila's been in ridiculous situations in her videos). She gave me chaos begets chaos, and in order to maintain sanity, one must embrace the insanity. Or in her case, a palm tree 🤣🤣🤣.

I mean, all in all and in its complexity, I really enjoyed it. She said the theme of the video is chaos and danger, and we saw that. In the interview with Bru On The Radio, still talking about the video, she said: “This complex feeling of loving the pain of something, or loving the messiness of something, or loving the chaos of something, really kind of like finding the beauty in that part of our humanity”. And we saw that too.

And as if it wasn't clear enough already, the video is an artistic representation of the toxic tendencies and behaviors of their toxic relationship in general throughout all these years. And yes, their as in both of them, not just her as in Lauren's. I told you guys in the beginning that it's Camila's POV and I explained that Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life, but we don't just see Laur's toxic tendencies and behaviors from Mila's POV in the video. We actually see Mila's a lot more. Let me explain.

We saw how Laur brings chaos into Mila's life and their relationship (house scene). She's hurt her (shot her with an arrow through the heart), she doesn't acknowledge her in the hospital, and she also leaves at the end. The leaving her there (breakup or break) in those conditions as well as not taking something for her too from the vending machine is a neglect; another trait of a toxic relationship. That's all. That's what we see as far as Lauren is concerned. Mila on the other hand…

She's the one who's unbothered, especially in the beginning, in having an arrow in her heart, aka being hurt. She's the one who doesn't react when Lo destroys the house, aka when Laur has toxic behavior towards her. Still her the one who runs away from her problems so as not to face them and avoids conflicts (dogs and wrestler). In fact, if that's why, I wanna put in a good word for Laur in this case since she fights her by forcing her to confront her, aka talk about their problems. Still Mila the one who uses an imaginary automatic machine gun to shoot and destroy the bed symbolically in her head just because she’s angry with her. She's the one who crashes herself on top of a car and risks her life on other occasions with the dogs, the palm tree, and by drinking gasoline. I mean, see what I mean?

Who's the most toxic one we see here? And again, this is just a video. Not the reality. I feel like I always have to specify these things with you guys because one never knows you misinterpreted it 🤣. But anyway. I'm happy Mila did it. I'm happy that Mila represented even her toxicity since for many years due to her songs people only and always blamed Lauren. It's something I've been saying for years 💁🏻‍♀️. They both have their faults. There are two people in the couple and there are always two sides to a story. Not just one.

In any case, that's it, dear Anon. I hope you enjoyed both analysis 🙃.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.

[bitfruity]

i hope everyone had a good holiday! i wasn’t very active yesterday because it was christmas day here and i was with family. but i wanted to say thank you so much for the wonderful christmas tree messages (i had to download the app later to read them🙄) they really warmed my heart😊💚

i know others have made some lovely posts about this fandom and the community here that are way better than anything i could put into words. but i just wanted to say thank you all because i’ve honestly never interacted with or had the confidence to post much of anything in a fandom before. i’m a very socially anxious person and unfortunately that carries over to online interactions as well so i usually used to just lurk and maybe leave a tag here and there.

but this beautiful frandom has made me come out of my shell more and given me confidence to post my silly thoughts or contribute to the conversation. i’ve even made some internet friends which is something i’ve never done before!

one of the tree deco messages said that they enjoyed reading my tags and that made me really happy because i didn’t used to do that very often and now i feel like i’ve joined in on the fun. i often have insecurities if i’m doing fandom/internet speak right or if my jokes even make sense😅 so it’s really validating to hear that at least one person enjoys my commentary just like how i enjoy so so many of yours💚

anyway before i get too sentimental here are some of the gifts i thought you guys might enjoy

my sister made me this card🤩💚

and she also got me a gengar plushie😈

[theminecraftbee]

hello you seem to know whats going on help what is tumblr ettiquette and how do i tumblr

oh, uh, howdy! i will do my best to answer this, but i was joking yesterday about how i'm bad at answering questions about knowledge i've known for a while because i am bad at divining what details other people need to know when i already know them. but here's some tips that might help!

turn off best posts first, anything that tumblr recommends you, visible likes, and visible following. you should be able to do all of these things in your settings i just recommend doing them to make your life much easier.

don't use tags that aren't relevant to your post. for example, don't tag an intro post "hermitcraft". however, it's also worth noting: don't use tags with words that aren't relevant to your post, either, because tumblr's search is bad and will pick up those too. (so don't tag "and i really like hermitcraft" in a post that has nothing to do with it, either.) this only matters for... i think it's the first ten tags? after that, tumblr doesn't care anyway. (it might even be as few as the first five i don't. optimize my tags for discoverability anyway so i don't know.)

have a profile picture and a blog title that isn't just your name. some people's blog titles are their name? but you don't see those unless they click on your blog so most people's are like, jokes or things they want to title their blog. your url is also only sort of your name - it's what people know you by but it isn't usually your actual name (for example, my name is second, but this url has nothing to do with time).

reblog stuff! i know you've been hearing about this a lot, and i'm actually gonna say "yeah some people are really super aggressive about it and it's probably not necessary", but know that on tumblr, it is normal to reblog way, WAY more than you post as original content! if you have commentary to add on that reblog, you can put it in the tags if it's stuff that doesn't add to the post (like compliments, random anecdotes, answers to tag games) or, if you're feeling spicy, add a comment on the reblog - although etiquette suggests you only do this if you have a comment that adds to the original post, and most people don't do that often. if your tags are good enough (or you see someone's tags in your notes or while reblogging that you like enough!), it's normal to copy/paste or screenshot them into a comment on the reblog to share them with other people.

the queue exists! this is a way to put posts to post or reblog into a waiting list that tumblr will post at regular intervals. i largely use it to stick art and other things into so i don't completely spam my dash. ...then i spam my dash anyway. use of a queue is entirely optional, but is a way you can use tumblr if you like it!

it’s perfectly fine to reblog old stuff, and in fact treated as normal to have certain old posts circulating. don’t worry about it!

generally, it is better to, if you see stuff in the tag you dislike, figure out what tag or words to block and move on. (for example, i have the phrase "stim board", "stims", and "mood board" blocked, and i know many people have the phrase "x reader" blocked. people who don't like shipping can block the relevant shipping tag, etc.) if you don't like a specific person's content, block them and move on. i am not gonna sit here like some people are and pretend tumblr is a perfect place without discourse; hermitblr was literally just having the world's stupidest discourse last week. however, generally, we try not to do callout posts and have a much more "tolerant of things we don't like" attitude than what i've seen of mcyttwt. we also, generally, have had fewer discourses lately, i just like, don't want to give the impression i think we're immune or something. so just... try to keep that going!

treat ccs as any other user. follow, don't follow, or block as you want, but they aren't why we're here. we're why we're here. so don't treat them as any different from any other tumblr user, yeah? tends to work out better for all of us.

additionally, i'm gonna recommend: i leave anons on. you can block anons that send you stuff you don't like. you can also just... ignore anons or off-anon asks that send you stuff that annoys you. "tumblr may have eaten your ask" basically isn't true anymore, but it could be, and it's like, not that rude or anything to ignore people you don't like.

like okay i cannot recommend the merits enough of ignoring people you don't like. it works SO WELL. if you need to like, link or screenshot them in private with other people you know who will ignore it in public, vent, and then just... ignore them. oh my god does it make your life so much easier.

finally, it can be hard to find new friends at first. i honestly followed a lot of people who reblogged my stuff early on, as well as artists i saw that i liked and writers i saw that i liked. then, as time went on and i saw certain names around, that's who i followed, too. (plus i think i rooted out some joe stream regulars to follow, haha.) you'll build up a circle of the kinds of people you wanna follow. most people don't notice that much when people follow or unfollow. (some people do??? those people baffle me.) so it's not a big deal if you do that. have the experience you like!

hopefully any of this actually helps you!! good luck out there - i know it's scary getting used to a new place!!!

[highfiveheroes]

HELLO HELLO HELLO! some ch2 spoilers in here, so answer at any pace you choose, but: the entire buddy-with-a-knife scene (starting with "ee're out of rice") for the fic commentary ask. that WILL be living in my head and heart and soul forever, and it's CHILLING. please tell me all about it.

I LOVE THIS SCENEEEEEE this is going under the cut because it's gonna be LONG but!!! could not be more pleased to yell about this whole interaction

"We’re out of rice," Oisin announces. Ivy, who’s sitting at the bar sketching out their map, sighs.

"I thought Jace was getting us some?"

"Nope," Ruben says. He’s on the windowsill, his guitar draped across his lap as he picks a few chords over and over. "I didn’t tell him to. Nobody told me we were out."

this little intro scene is just. i LOVE writing everyone as a crew. they could all be somewhere else, if they really wanted, but why would they? i've talked before (and plenty of other people have made posts about it as well) regarding the sunk-cost fallacy of "we're in this together, we might as well stick around and see it through, we can't get away from it even if we wanted". ruben doesn't NEED to be playing his guitar around everyone, but he does, because he likes the company. oisin and ivy are always together. mary ann just likes having a place to sit. buddy and oisin are cooking together—they're probably the competent ones, the ones that have family recipes, etc. so it's like no, they don't NEED to all be together, but they do it anyway—and kipperlilly specifically needs to feel important, so she hangs around them, "supervising". also of note—ruben has to be Very Responsible. at this point porter and jace have pseudo-moved in, but the entire rest of the year there's been NO adult supervision, so he's had to be in charge of groceries and maintenance which is,,,, an issue. now that he has someone else he gives them all the things to worry about and takes a backseat, so he's missed way more. (plus, with him and buddy...yeah <3)

Buddy is by the stove, chopping meat or something. Kipperlilly happens to notice him stiffening, but she doesn’t think much of it for a moment.

"I didn’t even think we went through that much rice," Ivy mumbles, going back to her map.

"I made soup yesterday," Mary Ann reminds them, her game making a little cheering noise. "I told Oisin."

Kipperlilly doesn’t know where Jace is. She doesn’t think it’s important. It’s not. Right?

the little bits interspersed are so important to me as one of those "build the tension" choices. tell the action, have mundane thoughts, but the thoughts CANNOT give into the concern. if you don't think about it, it isn't happening! buddy's starting to look angry—i wonder where jace is. we're out of rice—buddy is just cutting meat. that's all. y'know? LOVED this trick it was very fun to write

"Well, fuck that, then. I guess we’re having pizza or something if there’s any in the fridge," Oisin mumbles.

Nobody’s left the house in days. Kipperlilly is standing by the doorway to the living room, surveying everyone like she always does. There’s something in the air, and it starts to get thicker when she sees Buddy slowly turn to Oisin.

another foreshadowing moment right? kipperlilly sees the writing on the wall, and she could probably say something, but she chooses not to. why would she? it's not going to affect her really. right? they're all in this together whether they want to be or not. but also, her judgement is so skewed now that there's a genuine chance that she doesn't see how severe the issue is until it's too late.

(and then maybe there's a sick part of her that likes seeing someone else's perfect façade crack. but that's subject to analysis at a different time. in fact, i could write a whole essay about my takes on buddy and kipperlilly as foils and why they'd be the perfect partners for ruben in a different life i mean what)

"No rice?" he asks. His voice is tight.

Oisin doesn’t turn around. He doesn’t seem worried. Kipperlilly wonders if he’s just stupid to have not felt the energy change.

"No rice," he confirms, shutting the cabinet. "So no fried rice for dinner."

"And no one thought to check for the ingredients beforehand?" Buddy asks. His voice is too calm. Kipperlilly’s hackles are raised.

He hasn’t put the knife down. It’s shaking in Buddy’s grip.

"Didn’t think we had to. My bad." Oisin raises his hands sarcastically, shaking them, and he doesn’t turn fast enough to see Buddy lunge at him, taking the knife, plunging it into his heart, dragging it down so that the fabric of his shirt and the scales of his chest rip with a sickening sound. Oisin chokes, gurgling, but it’s too late. He goes down before anyone else can react.

Kipperlilly saw all of it. She feels sick.

"Next time," Buddy announces, throwing the knife down, "we ought to check for ingredients before you make me start cutting up one of our Lord’s great creatures. Someone get started on that pizza." He looks down, sneering. "Otherwise, I might get a little hungry for something with scales."

THIS. so like. the take i have taken with the rage gems is that they slowly start to deteriorate the body they're in the longer they're in there. in the jace fics, you can see it REALLY evidently in how fast he spirals—like a parasite, right? and the more angry he gets, the more anger it wants the next time. it's like those little toys you get that are packed sand that you're supposed to chip away at. even saturated with water they're very hard to chip apart, until it All Crumbles At Once. goes to follow > kipperlilly had it first, but she accepted it, so her rate is slightly altered. jace had it the next longest, he starts losing it first. nobody else has the anger issues they have, but the catharsis of killing again and again is starting to accelerate it.

but buddy? who's only had the gem for a few days? he was so angry it happened in the first place, that his spiral has...well, he's much further along than kipperlilly at this point, let's say that. and it's only been a few days.

but he's got to act on it, right? he's spent so long without getting angry at all, and then he was so furious that when he finally was taken inventory of, his base rate was NOWHERE where it normally is. so his spiral takes him So Far Away from who he normally is. his personality does a complete 180.

but he's also spent so long working with the passive aggressive niceties of the church of helio (read: that sweet and southern "bless your heart" attitude, obfuscating what you really want to say and how you feel, etc) that he's brilliant at it with everyone else. but he's spent a year watching these fuckers kill each other in cold blood for things like cereal milk. he can let go with them. and let go he does!!!

Ivy, who also had a front-row seat to her best friend’s murder, looks deathly pale as she gags, then runs out of the room. She’s never seen Oisin murdered like that before, Kipperlilly remembers. Her own lips shake as she licks them.

"He’s gonna stain the floor," Mary Ann says. She didn’t look up.

this is another one of those moments that is just. they're kids, being kids. hanging out. right? and there's a LOT happening behind the scenes that kipperlilly hasn't been privy to of her own accord (ie. too dialed into her own shit...like a certain wannabe god.)

kipperlilly doesn't bother herself with details like who cleans up all the blood and violence. ruben probably has cleaners, right? but even if he doesn't, it genuinely doesn't have any affect on her if mary ann is the one on her knees scrubbing the blood out of the carpet and the tile and the walls. it started when she was the one causing the biggest messes, and it ended when oisin landed on the floor in this scene. she can mop it up, but there's no point in stopping it from staining. (to be fair, mary ann would never TELL kipperlilly or anyone this, so kip may not have even known even if she showed signs of empathy.)

and then...ivy. sweet ivy, who has been crushing on oisin since they were thirteen and is properly in love with him now and pissed that he won't notice her because he's so obsessed with adaine abernant. and she knew they wouldn't make it out of here alive, but when someone like ruben kills oisin, it's not quite so...vicious. there's a layer of respect still, one of those "i respect you still, you can kill me this way later, we'll be okay, this isn't personal." but with buddy there's none of that. this is his first murder (yay!) and he just fucking BODIES oisin for something that wasn't even really his fault, and the fact that they HEAR it? and it brings up a second point she hasn't been aware of—that she may have to watch oisin die. there's SO MUCH MORE with oisin and ivy that i'm getting into when i get to writing their aside for this universe but like...guys. this was brutal for more reasons than just what it appears. and kipperlilly misses ALL OF IT.

"You’re the cleric," Kipperlilly reminds Buddy, her voice surprisingly steady. "You have to revive him."

Buddy glares at her with such vitrol that she physically steps away. "I’m aware. I will do it when I’m ready. I have ten minutes, don’t I?"

Kipperlilly almost argues, but it’s easier to just nod. Buddy takes the meat he was cutting and dumps it in the sink, turning on the disposal and leaving it running as he pushes past Kipperlilly into the rest of the house. She doesn’t look at Oisin; Mary Ann is probably right, and the tile is probably going to be stained worse than it was before, but she doesn’t look to see how much blood there is. For the first time, she doesn’t think she can stomach it.

She decides to give it eight minutes before she bothers Buddy about it again, so she starts counting.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen…

okay this!!! i am not the most familiar with dnd mechanics, but (as you and i have discussed previously jade LOL) this is definitely a moment of the cleric realizing he can play god. he's in control of life or death in a way he hasn't been before, and he's spent all year watching these fuckers turn on each other, and he's taking the chance of "oisin is probably going to stabilize, and if he doesn't, i'll deal with it later." i think they have a 10 minute rule amongst the group because after that it can verge into actual feelings of mourning, and that's not fun for anyone involved. (yes, it's usually an immediate revive, but the ten minute thing is something they've all had discussions about when it's brought up, so like. it's still a fact, even if they've never used the full ten minutes before.)

and the counting...i've noticed that i have a habit of incorporating some of those "calming yourself down" tricks into characters who are vaguely unstable. i think it makes sense for kipperlilly though, that when she's scared or upset, jawbone had tried to encourage her to take that moment of "try counting, get your mind onto something steady with an end goal, see if that doesn't help" sort of thing. so she gives herself a set time limit and starts counting, and that way she doesn't have to worry about the body on the floor.

(another note though: kipperlilly is for sure also haunted by what the hell just happened, because she came to the same conclusion that ivy did, that rage-starred buddy is a completely different beast than regular buddy and it probably shook her down to her core. just a fun little thing <3)

so!! i intentionally didn't include a lot in this scene, but it's also SO FUCKING MUCH to me. personally. there's a lot happening behind the scenes that's going to come out in later chapters and asides, but. god i love this. thank you for asking and letting me ramble LMAO

[driftward]

Related to this post, there was some ... discussion... about what Klynt's wrestling name should be before we settled on THOTa.

Names scrubbed to protect the guilty

Transcript below the cut

PINK: Yesterday at 1:10 PM> BLUE when you see this I have an extremely important task for you I need a ring name for Klynt Like for wrestling

BLUE: Yesterday at 3:58 PM> THE SHAFT

RED: Yesterday at 3:59 PM> NO

PINK: Yesterday at 3:59 PM> INCREDIBLE "Come to the Arcadion and get The Shaft! If you dare"

RED: Yesterday at 4:00 PM> I REFUSE TO HAVE 'THE SHAFT' ON OUR DISCORDS RAID NIGHT EVENT BANNER

PINK: Yesterday at 4:00 PM> Oh well that's fine the event banner will have something like Gage Normal Raid Night or Arcadion Throwdown or something like that The event DESCRIPTION TEXT on the other hand

BLUE: Yesterday at 4:00 PM> THIS SUNDAY COME SEE THE SHAFT THROW DOWN WITH THE BEST AND BRIGHTEST AT THE ARCADIOOOOON

PINK: Yesterday at 4:01 PM> THIS THURSDAY AT THE ARCADION! THE SHAFT GOES HARD

BLUE: Yesterday at 4:02 PM> TONIGHT THE SHAFT GOES HEAD TO HEAD WITH THE BIGGEST BADDEST PAIR IN THE BIZ

PINK: Yesterday at 4:03 PM> HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN THE SHAFT DRILL DOWN? FIND OUT THIS WEEK ONLY AT THE ARCADION!

RED: Yesterday at 4:03 PM> 😭

BLUE: Yesterday at 4:03 PM> Frankly RED i am suprised and disappointed, i would have thought you'd go apeshit for this smh my head 😔

PINK: Yesterday at 4:04 PM> Can you imagine the fighting commentary?

RED: Yesterday at 4:04 PM> klynt would love it, ngl

PINK: Yesterday at 4:04 PM> "Oh the big bad thinks he's got a good grip on The Shaft, but he'd better hope he finishes his move before she finishes him!"

BLUE: Yesterday at 4:05 PM> THE SHAFT IS GIVING HIM THE POUNDING OF HIS LIFE, I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH MORE HE CAN TAKE FOLKS

RED: Yesterday at 4:10 PM> i am at work wheezing behind a wire bonder rn

PINK: Yesterday at 4:11 PM> Making her entrance now, it's THE SHAFT! Women really go wild for the Shaft, Ron. They sure do, Chuck, and who wouldn't? That swagger, that style, and dare I say, there's more than a few guys who I wouldn't have pegged as getting in front of a woman wrestler, but she has her male fans too!

BLUE: Yesterday at 4:14 PM> official The Shaft mammet with real Dragonsong Dive action

PINK: Yesterday at 4:15 PM> Everyone loves when The Shaft goes for a real deep dive

BLUE: Yesterday at 4:16 PM> An elezen lady turning up in the stands in green bodypaint, mismatched contact lenses, a foam spear, and like three belts

RED: Yesterday at 4:19 PM> gdi OK FINE it cant be the worst idea if im laughing this hard over it

...

Anyway, we ultimately decided that maybe the FC shouldn't have to put up with us.

[ratwavegamehouse]

Terminal, The Matrix and Inspirations

I'm in a weird mood (like high energy but also a bit moody but not actually sad, I think I had two much caffeine after accidentally missing my meds yesterday) so I'm gonna try and write a post I was meaning to do during the Terminal kickstarter but didn't get around to: discussing the explicit influence of The Matrix on Terminal.

Terminal is a Matrix game, like obviously. The central premise; the world as you know it is a lie, a simulation operated by machines, is the exact same. In diverges in other elements of the setting (the pirates of Libertatia are very different from the rebels of Zion for instance) as well as in semiotics (the Robot Authority as written are shaded with themes around coercive control, that's something I'm bringing to this story rather than adapting from the Matrix).

The starting point for writing Terminal was "hey I bet this Inevitable system could be used to make a game like The Matrix films" but I quickly decided I didn't want the setting to just be The Matrix with the serial numbers filed off. I don't think that approach is like "wrong" but it didn't feel right to the kind of game I wanted to make.

(An interesting quirk is the characters who feel like closer analogues were definitely the ones I wrote earlier in the books development, whereas characters developed later don't cleanly map in the same way.)

I think of Terminal more as pastiche than fanfic (those distinctions aren't being expressed as a value judgement, just a difference). In some cases it's using that pastiche as a vehicle for new stories and some elements of the pastiche are in part commentary (the inner workings of the pirates are partly a reaction to finding it interesting how Zion has such a heirachal structure for a civilization founded by people who rejected conformity or for a more critical example I avoided the slavery metaphors that the original Matrix uses because I found those shallow and poorly conceived). I see the relationship between Terminal and The Matrix as like the relationship between Superman and the various characters inspired by or otherwise riffing in him.

Anyway that's a lot of preamble and naval gazing. I was planning to just run down some characters and who they ended up inspiring. Let's do that now.

Let's do Neo first. Neo's in the game in a few senses. One is the character of Atalanta in the startup operation (the scenario for you first session of play that kicks off the campaign. Atalanta is someone you're trying to free from the Terminal. She's channelling a similar mood to Neo in the first film before he meets Trinity. Basically the scenario is you getting to be Atalanta's Trinity. Atalanta isn't a programmer, partly that's differentiating the character from her inspiration but partly it's as I don't know enough about coding to make it a meaningful character trait. She furthers differs in that she's not fated (at least by the text) to become the Omen, instead the crew drop her off in Libertatia and she starts to make a life for herself from there. The crew can check in on her and perhaps I fluence whether she returns as a major character (this beat maybe brings in some of The Kid from 2/3 but I don't know if that was a conscious influence). Oh also Atalanta is trans, like so's Neo but I mean textually, cause I liked the idea of doing a trans metaphor narrative with a canonically trans character.

Speaking of the Omen that element is obviously an analogue to the Path of the One. This is an interesting case study in small changes in a pastiche having far reaching impact. In early development I wondered whether my equivalent to this would have been a major NPC I didn't love that idea but I also didn't like the idea of one player getting to be the Most Important Character. This eventually led to the idea of the Omen code being shared amongst people throughout a campaign as significant connections are formed. I liked the emotional through line this can create; this a game about breaking away from manipulative controlling forces by forming healthy meaningful connections. It's Neo choosing the door that leads back to Trinity.

The other major change was that the pirates of Libertatia are aware of the reboots the cycle of reincarnation has contributed. This was firstly a practical change; if I'm making a game inspired by the Matrix I assume a decent chunk of people who will play it will be familiar with the plot of the Matrix so trying to house the same plot point as a twist wouldn't work. But it had a transformative knock on effect. The Omen's arrival is significant but it isn't heralded as a possible victory. It's the sign of being close to failure again. The cycle has always ended in failure and everyone knows that but everyone keeps trying in hope this time might turn out different. There's a melancholy to it.

These two decisions ended up influencing the creation of Transmit, the last Omen. They did something to the code that's changed reincarnation, they've created a deviation in the cycle, a chance. They're also kinda Neo, or at least how people might feel about Neo after the original trilogy. They're also kinda Chris Pine Spider-Verse Spider-Man, someone perfect you not only have to love up to but also hope to succeed where they failed. They're also kinda Akira; one of the most significant characters but their involvement as an active player in this story was finished long ago.

God that was just one character. May e the reason I put this off for so long was I knew I would ramble.

Let's talk Smith. The major story arcs in Terminal are called Crashes, and each could serve as the game's eventual dramatic finale. One Crash concerns 0, formerly a special agent, an enforcer of the systems will, now turned living virus whose hatred will eat the world. So yeah 0 is Smith. Well a Smith. (Remember the thing I said about the closer analogues being the earlier written ones? 0 was maybe the 5th or 6th character written). But they're interesting for that knockon changes stuff. In this case both from other elements that are different between the two texts but also the medium. 0 doesn't have a built in relationships with the protagonistsnand as such their origins are more mysterious. The arc focuses much more on the specifics of people who know who are assimilated into 0. I think playing this part of the story will be a very different experience from how The Matrix sequels play out.

0 isn't really the only Smith though. Thinking about Smith got me thinking about the agents overall (additionally I was also thinking on the Smith/Morpheus composite from Resurrections and the idea of freeing agents). What does it mean for someone whose only purpose is enforcing a systems will to reject that same system? This lead to Special Agent 5, an agent with the urge, but not the tools, to rebel after their corrupted partner was corrupted. This thought process also influenced, in a more subtle way, another, more secretive character.

The Oracle is a character who honestly influenced the whole creation of the game. Inevitable is based heavily around prophecy and certainty. That's what linked it to the Matrix in my mind. The Seer is a characters whose role in the story is very similar to their influence but their execution and styling is different. A butch mechanic rather than a kindly aunt. Liminal stops on a lost highway rather than a routine apartment. Similarly she kinda probes the question of how the pirates feel about having an ally they are aware is a program. That fact seemed likely but unexplored for their analogues and was something that is brought to the forefront of the Seer, as well as the linked question of how her conflicting loyalties might endanger her.

The Director is the core shaper program of the Terminal. Their role is analogous to The Architect and this did make them harder to distinction. One way of drawing in difference was placing The Director more within the Terminal itself, more focused on its minute perfections. (This was kinda influences by the scene in the first film talking about chicken and Cipher talking about stake, influence isn't always the straight lines between characters.) Another new focus was on the inner workings and power struggle within the Terminal's maintenance. There's focus on why programs are rendered obsolete, and the desperate positions that pushes some of them two. They have a usurgent rival, The Puppetter, whose focus on psychological torture is influenced by the Analyst from Ressurections but whose execution plays more like villainous sorcerors in fantasy stories.

I wouldn't consider their to be a direct analogue to The Merovingian, though aspects of their character and the wider world of the exiles influenced two major figures. The first is The Hedonist, the principal obsolete programs in Terminal who operates a night club. This is influenced partly by Club Hel, and a detail about abilities they had taken from them was probably lightly cribbed from the mention how the Merovingian used to be powerful. They focused more on questions around how programs might deal with breaking from the system, being hunted by it, but being stuck inside it all the same. She, as well as some of the characters in her club like the Carver, also bring up stuff about programs self images within the Terminal and their conceptions around gender. None of this is really about the Merovingian, it's just where the character developed.

Similarly the Archivist and their associated Crash were intially drawing in the Merovingians scene in Reloaded. The Archivist was once responsible for cataloging all that held value in the Terminal. Now rendered obsolete they've grown bitter and want to posses every program and person of "value". This character developed of thinking first how this story arc could, in a possible campaign, evolve into a worlds ending stakes finale. It also developed from what would motivate the characters and those motivations became something very different from their original kernel.

Programs with clear analogues are significantly greater than humans. I think that's probably because the wider changes to the setting and the core beliefs of the pirates meant analogues didn't serve a purpose. There's no clear Morpheus. Instead there's character who came from answering questions the setting asked. Characters who doubt the Omen are coming from a different perspective than character in the Matrix who doubt Neo as the One so they don't feel like pastiches in the same way. The greater time you'd spend in a setting in a TTRPG verses the comparitively smaller scenes you get on Zion in a film means there's more nooks and crannies shaded in so characters can spend time their.

There are other ways certain things influenced parts of the book less directly. The scene in Revolutions of Rama-Kandra talking with Neo about love influenced a lot of the themes for program characters.

I'm gonna try and wrap this up now. But yeah that's Terminal and The Matrix. It's also not just The Matrix. One character is a Wizard of Oz reference. The Hedonist is also kinda Carrie Ann Moss's character from Mass Effect 2. The Crash arc The Dying Dream is me doing Paprika. Two characters are a Twin Peaks homage and there's over influence there in aesthetics of certain domains as well as in characters like the Puppeteer and the doppelganger element. I'm pretty sure I probably was took the double meaning of wake for waking up and also a funeral afterparty in naming the real world the Wake from Sandman and I didn't realise until I finished writing the book and was packing up to move flat and found Sandman volume 10: The Wake. The Hedonist is also a friend of mine. Atlanta is me, aged 19. The Stranger is me, aged 28 (sorry that's a secret bit, you'll have to read the game). Making art is a conversation.

[haleigh-sloth]

I'll take the bait. How is rei's hospitalization not supposed to be something that helped her? The reason she was put there was crazy sure (the one that needed some hospitalization was always endvr) but its not like her kids forgot about her in the end. Also I believe the long time she was there was just for narrative purposes because hrks wanted her to be away.

Sorry I was gonna get around to posting it, I was tired yesterday lol.

I understand it's shown that she got better there. But I don't think enough people understand that 10 years being locked up in an institution is very fucking abnormal.

There is NO type of psychotic break or mental health break down that should lock you up for a fucking decade, unless it resulted in something serious like someone's death. And there is a reason that there is a shift from hiding people away to shifting them back into their community as soon as possible in several countries (not just the US), OR keeping them out of the hospital in the first place with research based protocols. Rei shouldn't have been separated from Shouto for 10 years. That is insane. That literally will make any parent more ill. Every mental health model you read up on will have an emphasis on a support system which usually consists of friends and family.

Endeavor put Rei in a hospital to get her out of his way, not because he gave a shit about her wellbeing.

Idk if Caleb put a twist on this or not, but it doesn't matter because the obvious tone here is "Oh, I got rid of her, she was getting in my way." Not positive. Then:

This is not a happy picture. I mean hopeful yes, but Shouto saying "I'll save her" while she's sitting in this small ass room, alone, staring out a window? I mean this is not...good. TEN YEARS???? I just cannot fucking fathom anyone justifying keeping someone (especially with Rei's circumstances) there that damn long. Holy shit.

And I mean, this isn't even a cultural debate. This is straight up not good for a person's wellbeing, to be separated from the real world, including your damn children only to have to wait for your older kids to decide to come visit you--and only when the hospital will allow it-- for ten years. But if we're gonna talk cultural, look up Japan's average psych bed ratio in comparison to other countries. Their reputation is not great lol. And I've seen plenty of commentary saying Rei's character kinda represents Japan's poor mental health care. It's just commentary so it's not fact or anything, but it's interesting I'm not the only one who thinks this about Rei, and I wouldn't be surprised if that was the intention.

BUT, anyway honestly the reason I said that is because I see a lot of "I hope the villains get what Rei got 🥺". And I hate it. Because...she was locked up. Away from her family, no freedom.

Like if the manga is going to go for a "I'll save them no matter what" ending, then why end it by putting them in a place where Shouto felt like he needed to save his mom from?

Also...I mean please. This is shonen, it's a fantasy. We don't have to stick to realistic irl answers to shit. Jail is just stupid, but the hospital ending is even dumber imo. Especially if we're talking ten years like Rei--who was put away by her husband for the purpose of keeping her away from his children.

I mean, let's say we stick as close to realistic as possible without going the jail route--hospitals aren't therapeutic, that's not a healing setting. Mental health care is a community action and the idea is to get people back home with their support systems as quickly as possible. AND! If that's the case then damn, at least show ALL of the UA kids getting their damn counseling sessions too since they've been in two wars? And seen dead bodies of their loved ones? I mean, go all the way with it. But! I have 0% expectations of that happening. So...it's STILL dumb.

Just, I'd rather Horikoshi just go balls to the wall with the fantastical power of love and friendship and acceptance ending. Personally I have no desire to see Tomura or Touya or Toga or anybody end their story in a freaking hospital bed. Just, why. Give them hugs, hold their hands, and send them on their merry, unrealistically sappy way.

[beeseverywhen]

pikmin vs pikmin 4- my thoughts on some of the changes

so i've been replaying pikmin this week after playing a lot of pikmin 4 and i had some thoguhts over the differences. i actually meant to make this post yesterday and i've now forgotten a lot of what i had to say whoops but i'll give it a shot.

so first of all. difficulty. it's a lot harder to get pikmin killed in pikmin 4. in some ways i found this a bit disappointing but playing pikmin again really put things in context lol. you can kill them so easily in the original! personally i think for me the ideal level of difficulty would be somewhere in between. the struggle to keep my pikmin alive in the first game was pretty formative for me lol. i think taking out that struggle for survival and risk of huge battle losses does lose something. i've always seen something of a commentary in pikmin that im not sure is in the newer games thanks to it being easier to keep your pikmin alive. HOWEVER i'm actually all about making games more accessible especially for kids. when games are really hard a lot of ppl just cant complete them/cant get in to them. i think what i would like to have seen from pikmin 4 was the option of different difficulty levels tbh. that way as a pikmin veteran you could pick a harder level, upskilling the monsters, while the original difficulty is still an option.

on the other hand, there are some ways that pikmin die in the first one that i'm SO glad they fixed. first of all-drowning. drowning is so annoying in the first game.m it's really really hard to get the pikmin out of the water to start with. and they drown for so long. theres a point where they are beyond saving but they keep on screaming for ages anyway. it makes me sad lol.

second. getting stuck around walls. oh my god. its so easy to lose pikmin as youre walking around. and when you call your whistle you need to show them how to actually get back to you? if you dont they dont make their way back to you. im so glad they fixed this because it was incredibly annoying tbh. theres actually a second part to this that i didnt think i liked until i replayed the original. so with nectar, you have to actually throw your pikmin at the nectar most of the time in pikmin 4. im used to just being able to walk through it with my crowd of pikmin but this didnt work so well in 4. i didnt realise till my replay of pikmin that this is actually a good thing. in pikmin you lose pikmin walking with you because they get distracted by the nectar. if youre not careful they'll fall behind and end up lost at the end of the day.

the pikmins freewill. they really do do what they want in the original. its so hard to keep them alive because they'll just start carrying things mid battle. they attack everything. they are hugely distracted by nectar. they'll wander off and start attacking pellet flowers. while to a degree they still do this in 4, its way way easier to keep a handle on it. i actually like the idea that in game this has happened because the pikmin have more experience of hanging out with olimar and being directed and have passed that knowledge on.

the whistle. ok i love the whistle upgrades. just being able to call all the pikmin back to home at the end of the day is so good. i do think its a little overpowered because pikmin are generally safer in pikmin 4? but if we had this option in the origial it would be so great. im thinking something that gets added in late game. theres still a chance theyll get distracted/attacked/drown on their way back to you but you can at least TRY to call them back. i also love the whistle that calls pikmin back to you.

enemies staying dead- i'm mixed about this. i think that i'd like them to stay dead for a few days but then when you leave the area/after you progress in the game they get replaced with harder enemies?

time rewind- i'm mixed on this. i think its a bit overpowered. it might be good if it only comes in to play during a boss fight?

the dog. look. i didnt want a dog. i was not down with oatchi to begin with. after playing pikmin 4…yeah i do kind of like it. i think i'd prefer him not to be a dog. it added another level to the universe that was never really explained and i felt like it was motivated by a 'dogs are cute' fanservice kinda thing. not really my cup of tea. one of the things i really love about pikmin is it takes cute animals and makes them terrifying. oh a little ladybird? what if it was huge and bloodthirsty. i ended up reallly liking the extra level oatchi added to puzzles. i liked that you had to do some bits with him and the other with your player, i just would have liked something that felt more fitting with the world. a tame dwarf bulborb would be hilarious tbh.

go here- when i was playing pikmin 4 i was mixed about this. i kinda thought it took some of the challenge away and didnt use it at first but then i kinda changed my mind. like the whistle, i think it becomes overpowered because theres no danger involved. you can clear out the monsters first and you know nothing is gonna happen while youre on autopilot. after playing pikmin i think i'd actually really like a go here option, i think it just needs to be balanced out by there being a bit more risk involved in using it. personally ive found myself getting really frustrated playing the original because i get lost a lot. this is in part because i generally struggle with using maps particularly in older games where you cant see what is and isnt passable as well (this is more of a personal thing as i have a condition that affects my ability to orientate/use maps efficiently tbh)

advancements/design changes- so modern tech has obviously allowed for some major improvements in how things look. going from new camera controls back to gamecube ones was…disappointing to say the least lol. i love that its easier to see what you are doing on these newer games. i love that its easier to target and actually throw the pikmin where you want them to go. its generally easier to move around and things are less clunky. i do think that a bit of the magic gets lost in some of the design changes tbh. i understand why theyve been made. the original developers probably wanted them there to start with but were restricted by the technology of the time (god. it really has been 2 decades. madness. i've been playing with these little guys for over 20 years lol).

i really liked the white hole-ey walls in the original, bring them back! i also actually liked that there were so many walls and a lot of things were more closed off. that typical pikmin feeling of 'i've got the treasure from the boss but now i cant bloody get it back' was missing a bit. i know that this is because modern games go more for that open world approach (even tho pikmin isnt) but i think it just makes sense in the story for things to be more closed off. i think bags and box ramps seem to have replaced the plentyful walls and… i would like more walls.

i also love the woven bridges where it breaks down over time and you need to get the pikmin to make it again. i just think they look cool.

i also like the little piles of bombs you can find and i like that you've got to have the yellow pikmin carry them around for you. what do you mean im just putting bombs in my pocket??! maybe there could be a function where in later game you could earn some kind of upgrade where you CAN store bombs. some kind of bomb proof container. but i still think the yellow pikmin should be in charge of bombs. they are the demolition experts.

i would like more use of climbing sticks too.

i liked that the landing spaces were kind of ringfenced off in the original. every landing space is its own little area, usually set in a depression in the land if not a little raised bit. i like that. tbh i dont really have an opinion on there being multiple homebases in 4. i know some ppl love it. im pretty neutral on it tbh. i would like the homebases to be set in some kind of depression/ have landscaping to set them aside tho. i just like the feel of it better. my pikmin feel safer lol. considering how dangerous the world is im not sure it makes sense for us to all be chill with landing out in the open like that and leaving our ship and the onion to it.

another thing that to me is huge but i do kinda get why they changed it and i think most ppl probably dont agree with me here… i miss there being seperate onions! i get why, i do. ppl probably didnt like that you couldnt get all your pikmin in one go and had to go to seperate onions. personally i loved that. i loved seeing the onions i'd collected in the landing area and i loved seeing them all fly off together at the end of the day. i loved that the landing areas were designed around the number of onions you'd have at the end of the game so that until then you'd be looking at that space like. i wonder whats going to go there. when will i find my last onion. what will it be like. i also love when the onion springs out of the ground all colourful when you find it. maybe they could be buried but when the pikmin uncovers it THEN it springs up?? i want that back. i do get that it would be annoying to have to get pikmin from each onion when there are loads of them and some ppl dont like that. i think this could be solved by you being able to access the all pikmin screen from your ship. then when you select the pikmin the ship alerts the onions and the pikmin come running out of the onions.

the centre spot for the ship and the 3 spots for red yellow and blue would be stylistic like in the original pikmin and would be there from the start even before you find the onions.

then the 6 surrounding spots would be less obvious, to the point that you dont really notice them until you find the first unusual onion. i know youre probably thinking: hold on a second 6? yeah i would give the glow pikmin a onion. maybe it only shows up at night or maybe it is there in the day but its colour is dull showing it's not avaliable.

while we're on the topic of the onions, i also prefer their original design. i'd love to see them looking the same, only more vibrant and in better definition. i particularly like the patterns round the bottom edge, the legs, and also the flowers on these ones.

edit: oh i totally forgot. the other design change im in two minds about is the sun meter. i think it looks better in the original.

also. i love that its easier to switch what colour pikmin you are holding and that charging is way easier.

im pretty neutral on the restricition of pikmin in the field. maybe i'd prefer it if you could upgrade that faster/if it had a higher starting point??? not sure yet i'll have to think. i dont like that there are more farlics avaliable even once youve reached 100 and the number of pikmin cant increase.

[ramadoodles]

Buckle up kids, we're talking about

Excessivism.

(Apologies if this is a bit unfinished- I didn't have much time today.)

I only found out about Excessivism yesterday- a post about Ai Weiwei’s Breaking a Han Dynasty Urn showed up on my For You page on Instagram. This artwork contains a set of three photos, showing the artist dropping and breaking a 2000 year old Han Dynasty urn. Our first instinct is to be horrified at something so unethical, but with knowledge of the Excessivism movement, his actions do make sense.

According to Wikipedia (the relevant page of which has been flagged with multiple issues), Excessivism is defined as “a reflection, examination, or investigation of every aspect of life in excessive state with particular consideration of areas that have real and consequential effect on members of society.” so in simple English, Excessivism shows the excessive use of resources (both material and labour) in an exaggerated manner. As far as I can tell, Excessivism is usually intended to be a commentary on capitalism.

A couple of examples:

Ian Davenport pours innumerable lines of paint down a wall using a syringe, such as this one called Everything.

Artists like Andrew Dadson and Michael Villareal make paintings by layering far too much paint than they actually need, emphasizing the role of the material as the carrier of the Excessivist message.

Now to talk about the broken urn and how it came to be:

Ai Weiwei bought a large group of Han Chinese urns for tuppence in the 90’s, back when Chinese history and art wasn’t much in vogue. Eventually he started painting them and converting them in other ways into contemporary artworks.

Since he broke the urn in 1995, you’d think that the urn would still not be very valuable. But even with this context, the photograph generates quite a bit of horror and outrage.

Also considering the fact that this set of photographs sold for nearly 1 million dollars in 2016, and the original urn would have never earned that much money, it raises several questions (at least in my head).

Did breaking the urn add more value to the urn than keeping it pristine ever would?

Would breaking the other urns add more value to them, or was the real value only in the first urn? And why?

Can this concept be translated to other objects? Is it better for something to die in a blaze rather than being perfectly preserved for all time?

Where is the line drawn between breaking things for art and just straight vandalism? (People have tested this! Other artists have broken Ai Weiwei’s painted urns and taken photographs in his style.)

My personal favourite Excessivism artwork is Sunflower Seeds by Ai Weiwei. He hired a bunch of people to hand-sculpt a million porcelain sunflower seeds, and displayed them in a room where the visitors could walk on them and interact with them. (Sadly, this exhibit is not interactive anymore, crushing my dreams of making snow angels in the sunflower seeds.)

Anyway that’s all for today! Sorry this is such a short one with no images. I’ll try making something better on the weekend!

[supersabbatical2024]

4/17/24: I am really loving my new French tutor, T'Choupi! I meant to post his(?) pic yesterday, but instead chose to post a mistakenly taken selfie, which was dumb. Anyway, we are still quite jet lagged but my travel partner is awesome at handling this stuff. He suggested we don't go to ANY museums today and instead we ambled around Aix and ate pastry and napped...SO fun!!! We walked around the corner from our place and checked out the "Casino," a local supermarchè and despite its name, there were no slot machines there. We bought 17 different kinds of cheese to sample, French deodorant for each of our kids (long story don't ask), some fresh fruits, and snacky items. Those who know me (and why would you feel obligated to be reading this if you didn't), know that one of my top travel activities is visiting the local grocery. Best way to sample the local fare, or at least the most popular junk food and candy, like the Danette milkshake. On the back of the bottle is their commentary on American “monuments” (icons?) versus those of “l’Hexagone,” which I guess refers to France and the hexagonal shape of this country…has anyone heard that reference before? I had not. In any event, Danette believes that l’Hexagone lacked anything like the “monument Americain Milkshake!” And now they have created it: << le lait secouè >> !! I liked it, but it ain’t no Village Ice Cream’s MCR!!!* (*Midnight Caramel River, Claude’s fave back in Maplewood).

We tried to walk back to the Nespresso store, but wound up going in circles and never found it, even with the google map. Claude began questioning his bat echolocation skills, but I knew it was just around a corner that we were not noticing. I was actually right, and we got back to it later, when we would sip our 4th cup of coffee with a petit square au chocolat mixed in. Buzzzzzzzzzz!

We grabbed a little late brekky from a recommended patisserie—a jambon n mushroom toasty thing, mini quiche, and 2 pain au chocolats. We ate on our back terrace in the shade, and napped on a chaise with our feet sticking out in the sun…☀️ (those minstrel--I mean Mistral--breezes can be chilly!!)

After our rest by our sweet little piscine (thanks T’Choupi!) we got up and out again to forage for more tasty stuff for dinner at home. We had to be back at our pad in the evening for my ONE and only zoom meeting I agreed to attend during our time away. Claude also agreed to attend one meeting—no big deal.

In any event, our second foraging trip led us down the street to a random boulangerie, just to check out the bread situation for tomorrow morning (when Claude will wake up early and prance down the street to retrieve our croissants and sweet treats before I awaken). But why not sample the pastry now as well, and what a delicious whaddyacallit it was. Elephant ear? Starts with a 'P'? Anyone? I can't stop now to figure it out, or I'll never get to bed.* But we shared it as we wandered around some more, and shortly thereafter, we bumped into a charcuterie (which is not hard to do around here). We grabbed some jambon and saussison sec, and across the street, we bought a baguette and a unique looking olive bread that was sort of trying to shape itself like a soft pretzel. All of it was just great, and wonderful to sit and munch at the kitchen counter, drinking rosè while listening to a webinar about the future plans of the NCJW/Essex, the org I have been volunteering with for (has it really been?) 7+ years. Good night!!

*Palmier!!

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts days 22, 23

From this prompt list. I set a goal of writing at least 150 words per day in 2024, which sounds pretty pathetic but if you take into account the fact that I haven’t written any fiction since 2019 it felt like a feasible target. And then somehow it turned into “I’m going to write a single interconnected story utilizing all of these prompts” which ?????, what can I say, I am incredibly foolish and there's no limit to my capacity for self-deceit. Anyway, the first draft is finished (at around 88k words) and I'll be unlocking posts here on tumblr as I edit.

read from the beginning here

Day 21 here

***

28. "Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now."

121. "I'd fuck you right here, right now, if I could."

***

Steph wasn't wrong. Tim really, really hated to apologize. Not because he saw it as losing face, or anything like that. It was because then he had to admit he fucked up, which might possibly mean he was a piece of shit. It just seemed like at some point he should be able to be the type of person who only caused harm because he meant to, and not because he hadn't slept in too long, like a cranky toddler.

But he was also not a chickenshit, so he suited up at home and left through one of the two concealed exits in the basement level as soon as he knew Damian would be on patrol. (And three nights in a row was a lot—he made a mental note to check the patrol rotation again when he returned home, because Tim wasn't the only one who needed sleep.)

He found Damian sitting on top of one of a huge stack of containers at the harbor, overlooking the ships being offloaded. Without trying to make the process soundless, Tim landed on the opposite end of the container. Damian's shoulders stiffened, but he didn't bother turning around.

Tim bit the inside of his lip, considering. He hadn't been able to work out the most appropriate method to begin this conversation despite all his brainstorming on the way over, so he'd finally decided he would just wing it. But now that the reality was staring him in the face—or determinedly giving him its back—he found himself nearly speechless.

Which was unacceptable. Right. When in doubt, dive in, and fix it later if it goes tits-up. (The part of his brain that offered constant commentary on his own thoughts gave the notion a hazy attribution to John Constantine, who was hardly a stellar example, but the principle was sound.)

Accordingly, he opted for the straightforward route. "I've come to apologize."

Damian gave a derisive tt but made no other acknowledgement.

"Would you mind taking your comm out for just a second? I'd prefer this not be accidentally shared with the entire crew."

He could tell Damian struggled with the concession, too angry to want to give an inch, but in the end discretion won out. He plucked the comm from his ear but kept his back turned. "Despite whatever Brown's inevitable gossipy meddling may have led you to believe, I do not require an apology."

Tim took a deep breath and paced a little closer, still keeping a prudent six feet between them. "I'm not here because of anything Steph said. I'm here because I fucked up and I need to make it right."

Damian snorted in contempt. "I assure you, there is no need. For me to accept such a thing would indicate you inflicted some sort of injury upon me. Which would imply you somehow developed skill and significance enough for that to occur. Which in turn is nonsense."

"Believe me, I'm well aware," Tim replied, and couldn't keep his tone from going dry as the desert. Damian's hands gave an inexplicable twitch at the words. "But be that as it may, we are still on the same team, and yesterday I acted like you were the enemy for no good reason. Yeah, you overstepped. But it was out of concern for my well-being and the safety of the family, so I should've been more understanding." He drummed one fist against his thigh, waiting for a response, but when none was forthcoming, braced himself and gave one more offering of vulnerability. "I was maybe still a little off-kilter from the dream. That one—ever since Insomnia fucked with my head, I've had the nightmare he gave me recur sometimes. Where it's not just Boomerang and my dad who die. It's most of us too. Except me. So I was definitely not at my best." A long pause, and still no sound. "I'm just gonna keep talking until you shut me up, but I'm pretty sure you're going to have to face me to do that, so . . ."

Damian's shoulders lowered the slightest bit. "Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now, and at least three of them don't involve turning around." He did give a quarter-turn, though. He wasn't looking at Tim, but his body was angled so Tim could at least see his profile. "They do mostly involve some sort of bloodshed, however."

"What a surprise. Not that I'm saying I don't deserve it." Tim dared to come within arm's reach. "I really am sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so angry and I said a lot of shit I didn't mean." He had turned off the white-outs on his domino, but Damian's were still firmly in place, so Tim couldn't tell which way he was looking. His ear was tilted toward Tim and he was clearly listening, and that would have to be enough to keep going. "You were right. I was being a baby."

Damian's chin dipped, and he angled his face away again. "Perhaps you were correct about some things as well. I regret not bringing up the issue with you instead of Father. And . . . other actions." Color crept up his cheeks.

Tim drew close enough to feel Damian's body heat radiating against what little skin he had exposed. A sudden sensory memory assailed him: leaning his face into the crook of Damian's neck, pressed together in a line from chest to dick. A wave of remembered arousal washed through him and left him aching with its recession. "If I made you regret we fucked, I'm ten times as sorry. You shouldn't have your memory of that ruined by me having been a jerk later."

Damian shrugged, a quick jerky motion entirely at odds with his usual grace. "I cannot argue with the final accusation you leveled at me."

Tim's mouth twisted as regret carved a hole in his chest. "Yes you can. You should. Don't agree with Temper-Tantruming Tim. He's an asshole and he only tells the worst part of the truth. I don't regret fucking you, Dami. I'm flattered you asked me. I'd do it again in a heartbeat." Damian leaned toward him at the confession, every muscle betraying how badly he wanted to hear it. Tim suppressed a smile. He should have known praise would be his way in. "I'd fuck you right here, right now, if I could."

He reached out a cautious hand and grasped Damian's gauntleted fingers. Damian heaved a sigh of his own but didn't pull away. "I suppose you're aware that you could."

Tim couldn't stop himself from laughing aloud at that. "Fuck you right here? Yeah, if I want Oracle to take video and give notes on my performance." He reached up to tap the tiny depression on his domino that cleared Damian's white-outs.

Damian met his gaze straightforwardly, but it clearly cost him some effort. "Then perhaps you should do it where she can't see."

Tim pretended to consider, but it was a done deal as far as his dick was concerned. "You think so?" At Damian's firm nod, he grinned. "Better head back to my place after we're done, then."

Movement down at the harbor caught his eye. A group of men were creeping toward a particular container, hiding behind others as they went. "Hey, there's something going on. Wanna take a closer look together?"

"Naturally. I have not been standing here for my health. Let's go."

But before they did, Damian brought Tim's knuckles to his mouth, and Tim could've sworn he felt the burn of the kiss even through the Kevlar that separated their skin.

days twenty-four, twenty-five, and twenty-six here

[thelonesomequeen]

So this tracking software you have... you can tell who visits your blog at all times? Can you also tell who sends which anon message?

I feel a bit embarrassed because I check your page usually a few times a day; I don't like to follow a lot of blogs because I get overwhelmed by seeing too much on my dash and like to control when I can see things, when I feel like I have more time for it (I know that might sound a bit weird but yeah). Anyway I'm not one of the delulus or stalkers, just like keeping up with the gossip, haha.

I wouldn’t worry about checking our page a few times a day. It’s no different than us popping open the app to check the inbox a few times a day to see what’s come in. The commentary yesterday was more about how a certain someone spends nearly all day every day lurking on this page even when we aren’t posting. At one point, she’d refreshed our page almost 3,000 times in less than 24 hours.

All it shows is an IP address and a city. Like it doesn't show names or any personal information. And it's not perfect by any means, but we can usually figure out where an anon message comes from by process of elimination. But if someone forgot to hit anon once (like a certain someone did) and we tag it on the software in time, we’ll always know it’s that person even when they’re anon or create a new account through the software. We normally don’t use it all that much unless the harassment, death threats, etc. really ramp up. Honestly, we sometimes forget it’s something Queen enabled for us back in the day. But every now and then when things get bad enough, we’ve gotta pull it up. If tumblr isn’t going to do anything to help, sometimes we have to take the steps needed to protect ourselves.

As a matter of fact, since she was called out yesterday, she hasn't visited out blog. Instead she's got one her little friends checking up on us for her.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Hello again! It's dragonfly anon here! And after reading more about Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's relationship, I ccouldn't help but notice that their relationship is pretty much what me and a friend of mine had going on for 3 years until I eventually decided to cut ties with her.

I was Wei Wuxian in this scenario, and, by the heavens do I understand his feelings more than ever. Where you are the only person who gives and gives more of yourself just to please others until eventually you are nothing more than an emotional slave, being tied to whatever genuine feelings you once had for the person that now tries to keep you in a leash, living in a perfect fantasy to suit their needs.

Much like Jiang Cheng, this friend of mine was only ever satisfied when i did things her way, and if i was better than her, or didn't reach her expectations, I was suddendly the one in the wrong. I couldn't have more friends, otherwise i was picking others over her, I couldn't do better in classes, because then I was shaming her, and oh boy dare I like someone romantically.

This is kind of a vent but also just me understanding Wei Wuxian more than ever and just being happy that he also got to be free. Specially with someone who loves and is the to support him like Lan Wangji!

I still haven't found my own Lan Zhan, but I have time and I have new friends and my family to support me, but I still wanted to share this little piece here because as someone who was in a similiar situation to Wei wuxian, it pains me to see people belittle his feelings over Jiang Cheng. I don't really mind if people create AU's and such, these are fictional characters after all, but when talking about canon JC as if WWX was in the wrong? People gotta be ready to catch my fucking fists because I'm coming for them, no one hurts my son in my presence.

But yeah your post yesterday was also a very enlightening and I truly had to lay down and have my onw "Oh" moment because, oof it hit right in the feels. Anyways love you and your posts and they always bring me so much joy! (Tho I have to read SVSSS now to help fend off your blog against nasty haters, gonna start my research soon!)

Dragonfly out! - 🐉🦋

I am very happy about this, Dragonfly!

I do think what keeps Mo Dao Zu Shi so great as a reread over and over is because it has such a great underlying social commentary through it's characters on very human relationships and how none of those can really be neatly tied up for endings. I do see how those ends can be lackluster, since the end of a fall out of an extremely bad relationship is not supposed to always be cathartic. Sometimes you just have to move on yourself and live even if they're stuck in the past.

I do think Wei Wuxian is an amazingly written literary character, he wouldn't be as magnetic in fandom if it wasn't for how well written he is as a protagonist. The work meticulously works it's way through to show, that whatever mistakes that yes, Wei Wuxian may have made, he learned and grew from that and became more world aware without letting that jade his optimism for people. It takes a lot of strength to go through hell and still say you want others, and yourself, to remember the happy times over the hard. His mistakes and regrets are there, but he doesn't let them keep him from being levelheaded or realistic about the world he is in.

Vindication is very easy to feel, but he is just not that type of character to try to attempt that through by the end.

I'm glad my posts keep you entertained! For as moody and sarcastic as I can be, I try to let that be the crux of what I post here without the filters of fandom lenses. Fandom is fun to explore the what if's for! But maybe I'm a little bit old school and like to separate it from the canon of the texts and what we are given to actually decipher from that. As writers say plenty of times, sometimes don't think too much about a certain part since it's not the part meant to be focused on for the themes.