#most of these are just joey but im okay with that

[furcoveredinblood]

Slipknot pictures that altered my brain chemistry

[chaosinstigator]

any f1 fan who takes dts and it’s fabricated dramatics seriously instead of seeing it for the clickbaity view-hungry money grab that it is needs to re-evaluate why they’re a fan to begin with imo

[starsinthesky5]

drunk in love || joe burrow x reader

description: after a whirlwind of a few months, Joe finds himself being more open with the public about your relationship, which takes you by surprise.

a/n: im glad i could get this up in time! i think the tag needs to be filled with more positivity and the usual joey b content. we can push through :) 

requested by the amazing and extremely talented @joeys-babe, you gave me great inspo! i have also learned that i loveeee writing little flashbacks into my fics just to add more context to the situation. when I’m writing it’s like i'm painting on a blank canvas, and i'm going wherever the brush takes me :) 

warnings: smuttttt, language, angst

word count: 7.7 k

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The sounds of enthusiastic fans echoed as you and Joe arrived at the Fifth Third arena for Joe’s podcast taping. Joe had been asked by the Kelce Brothers to be a guest on their live podcast recording of New Heights since they were in Cincinnati, and who better to have on than the QB1? And Joe being the polite and respectful man he is, agreed to do it. You were a bit surprised he was willing to go out in front of a big crowd of people like this and just talk. He rarely did podcasts or lengthy interviews because of the anxiety they brought him and he didn’t like to share his personal life in front of thousands of people, so you were watching him like a hawk the whole night to make sure he was doing okay. 

Right now, you both were sitting in the locker room while the brothers were doing the game portion of their podcast. You were snacking on some pretzels, offering Joe some since he hadn’t eaten anything since this afternoon, but he refused. 

“Joe, you have to eat something,” you say while pushing a bag of pretzels towards him.

“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled while looking at the monitor to see what was going on in the arena. 

“I refuse to believe that. We’re going to Woodys after and we both know that you drinking on an empty stomach will cause carnage,” you giggle expecting him to laugh as well, but he continues to stare at the monitor, seemingly lost in thought. 

You look down and notice that he’s bobbing his left leg up and down and is picking at his fingers, an instant signal that his anxiety was slowly creeping in. 

You quickly place your snack down, scooch your chair closer to him, and place your hand on his thigh, giving it a soft squeeze. He felt the light touch of your hand and stopped bouncing his leg before looking over at you. 

His eyes met yours and you could easily tell that he was getting anxious by the way they turned a shade of deep blue. “Are you alright J?” you ask. 

Joe stays silent for a few seconds before letting out a sigh, “Just a little nervous,” he quietly says causing your face to drop. “I haven’t done this in a while and I don’t wanna get weird out there if they ask anything specific, you know?”. 

Joe was referring to getting weird if they asked any questions about his personal life. He never talks about his life behind closed doors and rarely talks about you in respect of your privacy. He was worried that they’d ask him about you or your relationship and wouldn’t know what to say or how to answer them. He never really threw the “girlfriend” tag around many people for quite a few reasons. One was that it was mostly implied that you were together, another being that he didn’t want people who may not have known about your relationship to bombard you with questions about him. He kept your relationship carefully locked away because it was the most important thing in the world to him and he was afraid that the world would rip it to shreds if you opened the door a little too much. He wanted to talk about you all the time, even telling you that he might not even be able to stop once he starts. But he just never knew when or how to talk about your relationship without making you sensitive to public discourse.

“You won’t get weird Joe,” you say as you rub his thigh. “It’s okay to be a little nervous, especially because this is out of your comfort zone. You are going to do great and I am so proud of you for doing this,” you say. “I’m gonna be right there, front row on the side. Orlando will be up there with you too. And I know Jason and Travis will respect your boundaries. Maybe they’ll just keep it all about ball,”.

He nods and grabs your hand and gives it a gentle kiss. “Thank you for being here,” he says, finally flashing you a genuine smile. 

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” you say while pressing a kiss on his cheek. Joe puts his arm around your shoulder and pulls you in for a warm hug. He knew he’d be fine out there but couldn’t help but get a little nervous when he realized all eyes would be on him. Sure, in a football game, all 50,000+ eyes are on him, but that never bothered him because the game was his shield. 

“If you feel flustered, give me a look and I’ll cause a distraction for you to run away,” you giggle against his neck. 

He laughs and presses a kiss on your forehead, “My knight in shining armor as usual,”. 

A few minutes and a handful of pretzels later, you’re sitting on the side of the stage while Jason and Travis introduce Joe. The crowd erupts as they say Joe’s name and the song choice for his introduction makes you laugh like a hyena. “Get the Gat” was playing, a nod to the era that truly started it all for Joe. He was scanning the crowd for you as he walked toward the stage, eventually catching you in the front row, just like you said, in your stunning white dress that highlighted your most precious features. 

You gave him two thumbs up and mouthed “You got this,”. He gives you a big smile before walking up onto the stage and greeting the brothers. 

Things were going pretty smoothly for him. They were talking to him about his injury and recovery, his questionable tweets about aliens that got the entire crowd laughing their asses off, and some playful football + rivalry talk between Travis and Joe. He seemed incredibly relaxed up there and you felt relieved, until they changed the subject to the one thing that Joe was worried about. 

“So enough about ball,” Travis said. “What has Joey B been up to this off season. Where you been, Who you been with?”. 

“Uh oh,” you whispered. 

Joe laughed softly before saying “Just hanging around. Obviously training and getting better, some UFC events here and there, some boy's trips, spending time with family, but mostly spending time with my girlfriend,”. 

Your eyes widen at his words and your mouth slightly falls open. He just mentioned you in front of god knows how many people, and so casually? What the actual fuck. 

“Ohhh,” Travis smiles. “Is your lovely lady here tonight?” He asks. 

“Yeah, she’s right there,” Joe smiles and points over to you, causing literally everyone in the arena to turn and look at you. 

“Ayeee,” the brothers say in unison as the camera points over to you. 

Your cheeks turn tomato red as everyone starts cheering and waving at you, and you flash a big smile in return even though you were completely freaking out internally.

“Yep, that's her. She’s the best person in the entire world. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without her support and love,” Joe says as everyone turns back to face him. “She really knows exactly how to deal with me when I’m too in my head and always shows up for me no matter what happens. I owe a lot of how I am and how I handle things, to her” he adds.

“Awww,” said Jason. 

“Especially with this injury. I seriously don’t think I would’ve been able to get through it without her. I was in a really tough spot, mentally and physically, and she really stepped up for me,” Joe says. You feel a shift in his demeanor when he says that. From relaxed and positive, to now a little tense and serious. 

The wrist injury took a toll on Joe, and unfortunately your relationship. It took everyone by surprise when it happened as Joe was just hitting his stride after recovering from the calf strain. This was supposed to be his year and when that got taken away from him, he shut down. You tried your hardest to be there for him, and he appreciated you so much. But he needed to figure stuff out on his own which caused a bit of tension between you both. And all of it got too much for you to handle; you had to deal with his emotions, your own emotions, and help him recover on top of 100 other things that were being thrown your way. 

Little arguments became common as they always would stem at the most unexpected times. Sometimes they would happen when you would check in on how he was feeling, they’d happen during a happy moment where one of you said something that didn’t land correctly, and sometimes when he would come and apologize to you for snapping at you, but you would become a child and remain stubborn even though you wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms and let everything out. 

Flashback to December 

It had been a few weeks since Joe got surgery on his wrist. Ever since then, he’d been acting strangely and it was driving you insane. He was watching some film all day in his office so that he could help out at practice, so you’d hardly have seen him all day. 

You got off the couch and decided to bring him a snack, some strawberries and bananas, and made your way up the stairs. 

You made your way into his office, making sure that you weren’t getting in the way of anything. He was rewinding some footage with his left hand, but was struggling to do so since his dominant hand was in a cast. 

“Here, let me help,” you say as you place the bowl of fruit down in front of him.

“It’s okay, I got it,” he says trying to grab the mouse, but he was too late as you already grabbed it and fixed it for him. You looked over at him and smiled, but in return got a loud sigh and an eye roll. 

“Gee, I was just trying to help,” you replied. 

“And I didn’t ask for any,” he mumbled, slightly irritated. Your face dropped at his tone but you decided not to push it.

“I brought you some fruit. You skipped out on lunch so I thought you’d be hungry,”.

“Thanks,” he says as he pushes the bowl to the side and goes back to the film. 

You stand there for a few moments, debating whether or not you should leave him alone or talk to him. You decided to talk to him because this mood he’d been in was not welcomed. 

“Is there something wrong? Does your arm hurt?” You ask as you rub his shoulder. 

He immediately slams the mouse to pause the film and looks up. “What’s wrong is that you won’t let me watch the film for this week. I told you I'm not hungry and you’re bothering me,” he snaps.

You’re taken aback by his sudden anger, “I was just trying to help, Joe-”.

“And how many times have I said, I don’t need it,” he spit out. 

Tears welled up in your eyes as you took a step back. “I’m sorry, I- I just wanted to make sure you were okay,”.

“I’m fine” He said, slightly shouting as he looked back over to you. 

The tears in your eyes made their way down your cheeks as you felt more angry than sad. His attitude was unfucking called for as you were just trying to check in on him. 

“You know what, fine. I’m done asking you if you’re okay and if you need something. I get that you’re hurt. I get that this is hard for you. But do not for one second think that I’m just going to sit here and take this bullshit. You’ve been acting like this for weeks, on and off. And quite frankly, it’s giving me whiplash,” you unload as more tears stream down your face.

“Y/N-,” he interrupts.

“No. Listen to me. If me helping you is bothering you, If I am bothering you, just say the word and I’ll stop. You don’t have to tell me how you’re feeling, and I’ll just stop asking. I love you, you know that. But I’m done acting like this is okay,” you spit out, tears running down your cheeks faster than a trackstar running a mile.  

He stays silent for a few seconds so you take that as a response and nod your head. You leave his office, making your way into the bedroom and slamming the door shut. He immediately felt bad for yelling at you and making you cry. He fell back into his chair and looked up at the ceiling, thinking about how shitty he was. 

You lay down on your side of the bed, crying into your pillow. A million thoughts flooding your head, and a million emotions flowing through your body. You felt bad for him, you really really felt bad for him. But you started to feel bad for yourself because of how he was acting around you. Did you do something to make him act like this? He wouldn’t talk to you much about how he was feeling, so you were in limbo. 

You curled up into your pillow, a few tears still falling down your face as you heard the door open. Joe walked in and saw you laying on the bed, immediately feeling like shit because he did this to you. He walked over to the bed, crawling onto his side and gently rubbing your arm. 

“Y/N?” he asked. 

You didn’t look over at him and remained facing the windows. 

He let out a sigh before saying, “I deserve that.” 

“Listen, I am so fucking sorry for that. You didn’t do anything and I took my feelings out on you which was totally uncalled for. It’s just, I have alot going through my mind right now. But that is no excuse for me to do that to you, and you have every right to be mad. I’ve been putting you through alot lately and you’re just trying to help,”.

You turned over to face him and moved up. “So then talk to me, Joe?”. “I just want to make sure that you’re okay. I’m here, I’m always here,” you say as you wipe your tears. 

“I know. And I’m so sorry. I just don’t want to burden you with all my feelings,” he says.

“You could never. We’re in this together, we have been since we first met. I want you to talk to me whenever you need to. Please, do not keep your feelings bottled up like that,”.

“You’re right,” he says as he pulls you into his arms, his hand rubbing your back for comfort. “I am so so so sorry for treating you like shit. You have been nothing but helpful and patient since the surgery and my dumbass can’t seem to fathome that,” he says.

“You’re not a dumbass,” you say as you look up at him. “You just have alot going on in there,” you say as you move your hand into his hair. “Just let me in and let me help you figure it out,” you whisper.

So that’s exactly what he did. He unloaded all of his heavy feelings, self doubt, and fear onto you. And instead of running out of fear or anxiety, you stayed. You stayed and you helped him just as you said you would. 

End of Flashback 

You were holding your breaths around each other for a little bit, but luckily you got through it. It was a bumpy few months, but in the end, you got through it together and came out the other side stronger like you always do. 

“Seems like you got yourself a great lady,” Jason says, snapping you back to the present.

“I sure do,” Joe laughs while meeting your eyes, setting off butterflies in your belly. 

“So what have you guys been up to, if you don’t mind sharing? I think the fans would love to hear it,” Travis says as the fans begin to cheer.

Joe lets out a laugh and runs his fingers through his hair, “Yeah, why not. Well, we’ve gone on a few vacations, watched a bunch of movies we’ve been meaning to for a while, built some legos, and she’s taught me how to bake,”. 

The crowd lets out a laugh as he says that last thing. You were surprised at how he was being an open book right now and you didn’t know if you should be concerned at this newfound openness or ecstatic, but you were sure as hell enjoying it in the moment.

“You heard it here first, Joe Burrow knows how to bake!” They announced to the crowd. 

“Yup, it’s really not as hard as it looks,” Joe shrugs.

You let out a laugh when as says that. It really wasn’t that hard, but Joe was certainly not a pro baker as he was implying. 

Flashback to a few weeks ago 

It was a rainy evening in Cincy today, causing you and Joe to postpone your plans to walk around the neighborhood this evening. You were bored out of your mind, contemplating if you should take a nap or do something productive, but nothing sounded fun until an ad popped up on your phone for new cake pans which set off a lightbulb in your head.

“Cinnamon Rolls!” you said out loud as you just got an idea of what you could do for the evening. 

You quickly walked over to the kitchen and started pulling out everything you needed to make your famous Cinnamon Rolls, which happened to be one of Joe’s favorites, but Pumpkin Pie remained number 1. Joe was probably playing video games or watching something upstairs so you’d get to surprise him later with the delicious dessert. 

A few minutes later, you were in the zone and were starting to make the dough when you heard Joe come down the stairs. 

“Hey Babe, whatcha doing?” He says, a slight bounce in his step. He must be feeling good today, and rightfully so. He deserved to feel loose and cheerful after the past few months. 

“It’s a secret,” you giggle as you start making the liquid mixture. 

He raises his brows at you before examining the surroundings, eventually putting the puzzle together and realizing you are making Cinnamon Rolls.  

“Well, Can I help?” He asks as he walks over and hovers behind you, placing his chin on your shoulder. 

You stop mixing the Milk and Butter and look back at him, “You want to help me bake?”.

“Why are you saying it like that?” He asks as he begins pressing warm kisses on your neck. 

You stay silent for a few moments before taking advantage of his offer, “No reason. Here, let me show you how to make the dry mixture,” you say as he flashes you a big smile.

You spend a few minutes getting Joe situated with all the dry ingredients and then go back to your task. You peek over at him every few moments and although he’s making a huge mess, he seems to be doing just fine. Once you both were done with your mixtures, Joe insisted that he would make the dough in the mixer. So once again, you taught him how to use the mixer and left him to it as you started making the Cinnamon Sugar Filling. He was doing very well for someone who’s dominant hand is still not at 100%.

“Joe, this looks great!” you say as you look over his shoulder, rubbing it as you inspect the dough. 

“Yeah?” he asks, feeling proud that he was doing good for his first time baking.

“Mhmmm, just the right consistency. Very impressive for a rookie,” You tease. 

The next half hour passes by as you finish prepping the rolls. You roll out the dough and spread the cinnamon mixture across the sheet and Joe helps you roll it back up to cut the buns out. You place them in the fridge to rise and Joe takes responsibility for making the icing, so you pull over a barstool and watch him figure it out. 

“You’re doing great babe,” You smile as he begins mixing the ingredients while carefully looking at the recipe. 

“This isn’t so bad,” He says looking back up at you. “You wanna taste it? I’m almost done,”.

“Okay,” you say as he dips his finger into the icing and puts his finger out to you. A huge smirk appears on his face once you realize what he is implying. 

You pull his finger closer to your mouth and make direct eye contact for a few seconds before wrapping your lips around the sugary tip. You swirl your tongue around his finger, taking in all of the sweet icing. You both still hold eye contact, which makes you feel hot all around as you know how you are making him feel by doing this. A few seconds later, You take his finger out of your mouth and give him the same smirk he gave you.

“Was it good?” he teases. 

“Soooo good,” you purred. “Very warm, sweet, and delicious,” you say as Joe walks over to you. He grabs your hand and pulls you off the barstool, causing you to let out a squeal. “What are you doing?” you giggle.

“How long do the rolls take to rise?” he asks as he lifts you onto the messy counter, flour now covering your sweatpants. 

“About an hour. Why?” you ask as he starts to kiss your neck.

“Perfect. I think I need an hour to eat my favorite dessert,” He whispers in your ear before rubbing your upper thigh. 

You don’t follow what he’s saying, “I didn’t make pumpkin pie silly,”.  

“I’m not talking about pumpkin pie,” He says while coming back into your view, his eyes filled with hunger and desire, and his fingers untying the strings of your sweatpants. 

End of Flashback 

You were incredibly smiley and cheery for the rest of the recording and kept playing back everything Joe said about you. It warmed your heart that he felt a little more comfortable opening the door, even if it was just the slightest bit, to show fans your love for each other. But you were so curious as to what changed his mind. A million thoughts were filling your head, and it also didn’t help that he looked so fucking hot. Although he was wearing a comfy, laid-back fit, he looked mouthwatering and you were trying so hard not to jump at him. The extra few pounds of muscle he gained from his training this year was showing and that messy bedhead look he was sporting was filling your head with unholy thoughts the entire time. 

Once Joe had wrapped up his appearance, you headed back to the locker room area to find him. 

He was talking to some Bearcats coaches when you found him. No stress was apparent on his face and he looked like he was just fine. You let out a relaxed sigh as you leaned on the door, letting him have his conversation without any interruptions, but he immediately felt your presence and turned around. He mumbled something to the coaches and then they walked away. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” you say while moving off the door.

“Yes I did,” he says as he walks over to you, immediately pulling you closer and capturing your lips in a deep and thorough kiss. One hand cupping your face and the other sliding down your waist. You both were literally making out in the locker room and anyone could walk in at any time, but he didn’t care. He pulls away after a minute, leaving you a little breathless. 

“Cherry Lip Gloss,” He says. “My favorite,”. 

Joe loved your Cherry Lip Gloss. You remembered the moment when you both had your first kiss, he immediately pulled away from you and you didn’t know why until he told you how amazing you tasted and he had to let you know. 

Flashback to a few years ago 

You and Joe just got back to your apartment after your bowling date downtown. He parked the car in the parking lot and you both were sitting inside, wishing that the night would never end. He turned over to face you, a million thoughts flooding his head. A few being that you looked absolutely enchanting and he really really liked you. You both had been on a few dates so far, each one better than the last, and tonight felt like a dream. 

“Did you have fun?” He asked as he stared deeply into your eyes. 

“Best date ever,” you smiled. You were feeling a little nervous after tonight's date, only because you realized that you really liked him and that it wasn't just a spur-of-the-moment feeling, and you didn’t know if he really felt the same way. Was he just looking for a girl to have on his side who would take care of him during the season and be good enough to hook up with? Or did he want a girl that he could have a genuine and meaningful relationship with?

He let out a deep breath and said, “You look really pretty by the way,”. 

A blush crept up your face, “Thank You,”. 

He kept staring into your eyes as you both remained silent. He moved closer to you but you couldn’t process it because you were caught up in your own thoughts. Was he waiting for you to make a move? You both haven’t kissed yet and every date felt like it would end with a kiss, but it never did. You were all in your head about how he felt about you and you didn’t know what to do, so you thought that it would be better to just go inside and avoid the awkward moment. 

“I should probably go,” you say while staring into his deep blue eyes, but before you can grab your stuff, Joe leans in and captures your lips in a gentle kiss. You stay absolutely still for a few seconds before he suddenly pulls away. 

The blank look on his face fills your stomach with anxiety. Did your breath stink? Did he not enjoy it? Was it a mistake? You felt like hiding in a corner somewhere and never coming out. 

“Your lips,” he says. “Is that Cherry?”. 

You pause for a few seconds and say, “Yeah,”. 

“I love Cherry,” is all he says before pulling you back over to him, and completely attacking your lip with sloppy and eager kisses. You feel him grin into the kiss which immediately gets rid of your wandering thoughts. 

“You taste like love,” he says in between kisses. 

End of flashback 

He presses another kiss on your lips which snaps you back to the present. “You did great out there,” you told him. “They loved you,”.

“Yeah, it felt natural and easy,” he says as he leans back in for another kiss. 

Before you could ask him about his sudden change of heart about wanting to not talk about your relationship, a team member came over to tell you both that you’re allowed to leave and go over to the bar and that everyone would join you there in a little bit. Joe nods, wrappinh his arm around your waist, and leading you both out to the car. This newfound PDA was a little weird for you as you were walking through crowds of strangers and Joe seemed to not care. You decided not to push the subject just yet, it would be better to wait till you were alone so you could figure out what was going through his head. 

The after-party had a stereotypical College party vibe to it, and it being in a College Bar was definitely adding to the mix. Loud music and laughter, numerous cans of beer scattered across the room, and groups of people playing darts or beer pong. You felt like you were transported back to College and were drunk on nostalgia, and maybe something more. 

Joe was standing next to you, one hand firmly gripping your waist, and a beer can in the other, as you were extremely focused on the game of darts in front of you both.

“Andddd, Bullseye!” you yell as the dart hits the middle of the board. 

“Great Job, Y/N. I taught you well,” He says as you feel his hand migrate down to your ass, giving it a soft squeeze. 

“That you did,” You say as you look back up at him. Here he goes again with the PDA, not that you were upset at it. You loved it, but you were also just as confused. You watched him take another sip of his beer before breaking off to go greet a few more people. You watched as he was conversing with a group of people before he looked over at you and motioned for you to come over. 

“And this is my girlfriend Y/N,” he says as you join his side, his hand once again around your waist. You had no idea who he was introducing you to and were even more surprised that he was just tossing around the “girlfriend” tag so casually in front of people that he seems to have met for the first time. A few minutes later, you wrap up your conversation and decide to talk to Joe about what all this was about. 

“Hey Joe?” you say to get his attention. 

“Yeah? What’s up?” he responds.

“You wanna over there for a bit? I need to talk to you about something,” you say as you point over to the semi-secluded barstools in the back of the bar. He nods and you lead him over to the stools and sit down with your drinks. 

“Is everything alright?” he asks as he rubs your thigh. 

“Yeah, everything is fine,” you say as you place your hand on his. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay,”.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he questions. 

“Its just, before the podcast you were getting nervous about them potentially asking you about us, and they did,”.

“Yeaahh,” he drags out as he nods his head.

“And when they did, you seemed to be just fine and were like an open book. Not to mention the out-of-the-blue PDA you’ve been showing all night,” you giggle. “I just wanna know, why the sudden change of heart? You know I don’t mind not being so open and public with our relationship, I hope I didn’t make you feel like you had to say or do something,”. 

Joe looked deeply into your eyes for a few seconds before responding. “These past few months have been pretty hard for me, and us. You know that best,”. You nod in return, now feeling a little queasy at the mention of the rough moments you had. 

“And it gave me a lot of time to think about life,” he adds as he interlocks his fingers with yours. 

“I’m tired of acting like you’re not the reason why I can do most of this, aside from actually playing football. You always know exactly how to handle me when things get too chaotic, you know how to calm me down, you help me with literally everything, but most importantly, you put up with all the bullshit that being with me brings,”. 

“Joe,” you whisper. 

“Wait, I’m not finished. You’re the most important person in my life, and it’s time I make that known to everyone. I realized that I have no reason to be worried about what others will think, I love you more than anything and people need to know that. These past few months have shown me that I need you more than I need anything and the thought of you not being by my side freaks me the fuck out. Fuck their opinion. Fuck their comments. I love you and I chose you. Opening the door just a little will not hurt and if anyone has a problem with it, screw them,”. 

You felt like crying as he said all of this to you. Not tears of sadness, but tears of relief. You were relieved that his feelings towards you hadn’t changed, as odd as that sounds. There were a few negative thoughts about your relationship that piled up in the back of your mind over the past few months, but you never confronted them out of fear. The injury did a number on you both and you were scared that you’d lose this special thing you had to something that wasn’t in your control. 

“I love you so much, Joe. I’m not going anywhere,” you told him. 

“I love you more. And good, I think if you did I wouldn’t know how to function,” he says as he pulls you off the barstool and closer to him, slowly pressing his lips against yours. His lips tasted like your cherry lip gloss and beer, a familiar mix that you would often call ‘drunk in love’. He told you during your first kiss that the cherry lipgloss you had on tasted like love, and the beer was already intoxicating itself. A mix of both felt like you were well, drunk in love.

You were caught up in a heated moment in the dimly lit corner of the bar, not caring who saw you or who cared what you were doing. Your tongues tangled in your mouth as his hand navigated to your waist, holding you tightly. He lightly bit your bottom lip, causing you to moan into the kiss. His hands continued to wander around your hips, slowly moving down to your ass. He gives it a few squeezes, pushing you deeper into him. You pulled away from his lips and said, “Do you wanna get out of here? I’m all for being a little more open, but I think we should finish this one away from public view,” you wink. 

He playfully shakes his head and lets out a laugh, “Deal,”. 

He grabs your hand tightly and leads you through the bar, giving it a few squeezes as you make your way outside. 

“We didn’t tell anyone that we were leaving,” you said as he led you down the street to the Car. 

“We’ll be fine,” he reassures you as he opens the car door for you.

He gets you situated before going around and getting inside the driver’s seat. You couldn’t wait to get home and finish what started in the bar. Once he got on the highway his hand navigated to your upper thigh, rubbing it up and down, softly caressing your exposed skin. You were already on edge from your heated makeout before and his hand being this close to where you needed him most was driving you insane. 

“Did I mention that you looked absolutely sexy tonight? This white dress is really making me feel things,” Joe says. 

“You’re such a tease,” you giggle. 

“Hm?” He questioned, acting oblivious. 

“You know what you’re doing, Burrow. Got me all flustered from earlier and now this,” you say as you pat his hand that’s on your thigh. 

“How did I get you flustered?”.

You sit up in your seat and say, “Well for starters, you looked like walking sex tonight, even if it’s a laid-back fit kinda day. Something about you in all black makes me insanely horny. Secondly, your talking about me caught me off guard but my stomach was fluttering the entire time. And then that makeout earlier at the arena and in the bar? Yeah, I’m this close to literally passing out,”. You fall back into your seat for dramatic effect as Joe playfully rolls his eyes. 

“Well then, maybe I should do something about it,” he says while looking over at you for a second.

“What are you proposing?”. 

“Just lay back and relax,” he says. So you do as he says, knowing exactly where this would lead, especially because it wasn’t the first time.

His hand moves to part your legs, and then slowly moves higher up your thigh until his fingers are teasing the edge of your panties. He moved them to the side as you let out a quiet whimper because of the newly exposed skin meeting the cool air of the car. His fingers parted your folds, finding your wetness and sliding easily inside you. The feeling was intense, the rhythm slow and gentle as he explored the depths of your desire. You arched your back, pressing your body closer to his hand, needing more of his touch.

“Joe, Fuck,” you moaned as you felt pleasure overcome you. 

His fingers moved in and out of you, a familiar sensation building with each stroke. Heat and pure ecstasy were coursing through your body, your breath coming in short gasps as you reached the edge of pleasure. Joe’s thumb found your clit, circling the sensitive bud and sending you fully over the edge.

“Ohhh,” you moaned as you threw your head back into the headrest. 

You spent a few minutes catching your breath and he slid his fingers out of your core and up to his mouth, cleaning up the mess on his hand. “Sweet,” was all he said, flashing you a smile. 

You laugh and say, “Can’t wait to get home, It’s your turn,”. 

He looked over at you, pure lust in his eyes as he gripped the wheel strongly and pushed on the gas pedal a little harder. Once you got home, Joe parked in the garage and quickly pulled you out of the car, eagerly leading you through the halls of your home, not even giving you a moment to take your shoes off. 

“Joe, slow down,” you giggle, slightly holding him back so he stops. 

He turns around and stares into your eyes for a few seconds, then eyeing you up and down, before tossing you over his shoulders and leading you up the stairs. “Boy, someone is excited,” you laugh. He leads you into your bedroom and gently tosses you down against the silk sheets of your bed before slipping your heels off. He then kneels in between your thighs and captures your lips in a messy kiss. 

You slide your hands into his messy curls and pull him closer, if that was even humanly possible, as he starts to fiddle with the straps of your dress. A few minutes later, both your clothes are now on the floor and you are back to making out, ignoring the fact that his boner was poking your thigh. You would never get enough of his lips, so soft and plump, very easy to get lost in. He pulls away and presses a few sloppy kisses around your neck before moving down your body. 

You stop him before he goes further, “Wait. I told you that it was your turn next,”. 

“You don’t have to, Y/N,” he smiles. 

“Mmmm, too bad,” you say as you move out from under him, allowing him to lie back against the headboard. Once he gets settled, you straddle his hips and press a few kisses around his face, then kiss your way down his perfectly sculpted body. You reach his hard-on and wrap your hand around it, giving it a few pumps as pre-cum was beading at the tip. 

You looked up at him, making intense eye contact, as you wrapped your soft lips around the tip of his cock, feeling him twitch in pleasure. You start to move your head back and forth, going deeper each time as sounds of pleasure escape Joe’s lips. 

“Shit, you feel so good,”. 

You continued to bob your head up and down his shaft until you felt him getting closer. Your hands gripped his thighs as you took him deeper and deeper, nearly choking up. His breathing became more erratic as you sucked him harder and faster. He slid his hands into your hair as started to buck his hips into your mouth, a sure sign he was about to cum. 

“Fuckk,” he moaned as you felt hot spurts of his cum filling your mouth, making sure to swallow every drop. You slowly release him from your mouth and look up at him with nothing but love and adoration. 

“You’re perfect,” you whisper, wiping the spit and salvia off of your mouth.

“And you’re amazing,” he says as he pulls you back on top of him. You let out a soft laugh before kissing the tip of his perfectly sculpted nose. “You still up for a little more?” you ask him.

A huge grin appears on his face, “Always,” he whispers as he moves closer, once again kissing you passionately. You break away to put each of your legs around him and he grabs your waist while moving down to lie back against the bed all the way. You leaned down to press a final kiss on his lips before lining up his cock with your slick entrance. You slide down his length, soft moans leaving both your lips as the feeling of fullness feels like you’re coming home. 

You begin to move your hips in a slow, sensual rhythm. Your hands rested on his chest and your fresh manicure left a few marks as you dug your fingers into his tan skin. 

“Fuck,” he moaned. “You feel so fucking good,”. His hands moved up and gripped your waist, helping you move back and forth to ease the soreness that you were definitely feeling by this point. 

“Yeah,” you moaned.

“Faster Baby,” he whispered. You nodded and picked up the pace, riding him faster and harder. You could feel the tension building in his body, his muscles tensing beneath you as you moved with a steady, relentless pace. Joe started to buck his hips into your slick lower half, making you throw your head back in pleasure. Your breathy moans and sounds of skin slapping against skin filled the room. 

“Shit,” you moaned as he continued to pound into you. 

“You’re doing so good,” he whispered. You looked back down at him and smiled, he never missed a chance to praise you. He looked absolutely fucked out; his lips were red and swollen from the many kisses you shared, his hair askew, and a content grin on his face. The next few minutes passed by blissfully as you continued to ride him into oblivion. You leaned down, pressing your breasts against his chest, and started to bounce back onto his cock while moaning sweet nothings into his ear. His hands wrap around your back, pushing you closer and closer to his warm body. 

“Fuck, I’m so close,” he moaned. 

You whimpered in response as heat was building in your belly. He picked up his pace and continued to pound into your core as he felt your walls start to tighten around him. The pleasure became too much for you, so you bite down on his shoulder to muffle your screams. 

“I’m cumming, Fuck,” he moaned. You felt his hands around your waist again, tightly gripping your plush skin, as you felt him shoot his load into your core. 

“Y/N,” he groaned.

You lifted your head out of his shoulder and pulled him in for a sloppy and needy kiss to stifle his moans. You were once again lost in his lips so you didn’t even realize it but he somehow managed to flip you over so now you were laying back against the bed. He moved one of your legs around his waist and ruthlessly thrusted into your core to help you find your pleasure. Your whole body shaking as he pushed you deeper and deeper into the bed which each thrust.

“Come on Baby,” he groaned. You were so fucked out and the alcohol from earlier was finally in full effect so you had zero thoughts in your head. You just felt your boyfriend pounding into your core and the pleasure building inside your sore body. 

“Mmph, Joe,” you whined as you felt the increasing wetness between you both. Breathy moans escaped your lips as you finally felt the rubber band in your belly snap, causing waves of intense and deep pleasure to wash over you.

“Fuckkk,” you whimpered. Joe gently collapsed on top of you, making sure he didn’t crush you with his weight. He pressed a few kisses on your neck as you remained in your high.

“Joeee, Fuck, you’re so good. It’s so good,” you moaned as your orgasm came over you. You spent a few minutes coming down from your intense high and held Joe close against your body. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear, telling you repeatedly how much he loved you like it was a sacred prayer. 

You felt him press a kiss on your cheek before slowly sliding out of you, causing you to shrudder at the loss of contact. He went into the bathroom to grab a towel to clean you up before getting in bed; your body was too sore and tired to get up to wash off the sweat and cum.

“Thank you,” you said as he turned off the lights and got into bed next to you. 

“No need to thank me, Y/N,” he chuckled.

“God damn, that was a workout,” you laughed as you turned over to face him. 

“My favorite workout,” he smiled as he pulled you into his side. You rest your head on his bare chest as he plays with your messy hair for a few moments. 

You looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but love and warmth. “I love you, Joe,”.

He moved his hand down to your face, cupping the side and caressing the soft skin of your cheek. “I love you so much, baby. I’m glad I get to show the world how much you mean to me. It’s you and me, forever,” he says before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss on your lips. 

“Always and forever,” you whisper against his lips. You moved back down to his chest and snuggled closer to him. You look back up for a second and see Joe falling asleep, a smile still present on his face. He was happy, you were happy. Everything was perfect. 

—The End—

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: #6 and #9

————————————————————————-

summary: despite your love for joe, you absolutely detested his fashion sense. you and him take up a little bet and if you win you could pick out one of his game day fits.

warnings: none, fluff

pairing: joe burrow x reader

imagine universe: into the mystic

————————————————————————-

(y/n’s pov)

"joe. i love you more than anything, but i'm not letting you wear that in public." - you

"what?! i was expecting you to say something along the lines of 'oh god joe, you'll look so sexy in that. i can't believe you're my husband.’" - joe

after the twins were asleep joe and i would usually savor our alone time because with 2 toddlers, it doesn't happen often. we'd either cuddle up on the couch and watch a show, or lay in bed and just talk. 

currently we were sitting on the couch, joe was online shopping for game day fits and i was texting my dad. i wasn't really paying attention to what joe was looking at until out of the corner of my eye i saw one of the most atrocious suits i had ever seen.

"baby... i'm so sorry but i'm not letting you wear that." - you

"why?" - joe frowned

"joe, do you actually like that?" - you

"yes." - joe

"it's a little much, babe.." - you

"i get it. you'll be embarrassed of me." - joe

"what? no of course not. joe i'm never embarrassed of you-" - you

"you know people will say stuff about it so you don't want me to wear it knowing you'll be embarrassed of me." - joe

"are you kidding me? do you literally hear yourself? if this is the kind of mood you're in i'm going to bed." - you stood up from the couch

"y/n wait.." - joe sighed

i pretended that i didn't hear him and kept walking towards the stairs.

"baby!" - joe

when he noticed that i wasn't going to stop i heard him mumble a silent "fuck" out of defeat.

he knew he shouldn't think of me like that. joe knew that i'd never be embarrassed of him no matter how colorful and outgoing some of his game day fits were.

once i was upstairs i brushed my teeth and then slipped into bed. it wasn't long after that when i heard joes unmistakable footsteps in the hallway.

i heard him shuffling around the room; probably changing out of his clothes since he just slept in boxers. soon after, the bed dipped and i felt his arms wrap around my waist.

"baby?" - joe whispered

since i was facing away from him i thought i'd be able to hide the fact that i wasn't actually sleeping.

"i know you aren't asleep, honey." - joe whispered again

all i did was nudge his arms off, to which he let out a defeated sigh.

"please don't be upset with me, i don't want to argue.." - joe

i rolled over to face him, and as soon as i did he knew he was going to get a talking to.

"do you know how much it hurts when your partner questions if your embarrassed of them? it makes me question how i’ve been as a wife." - you

"i'm sorry.." - joe

"joe you should know better. i've never and will never be embarrassed of you. i'm so proud to be your wife, even if you have questionable fashion sense." - you reached forward and rubbed his cheek

"i know you are. i was just kind of annoyed in the moment. if you don't think i should wear it i won't, do you have any outfit ideas you'd like me to wear?" - joe smiled when he asked the last part

"how about a cowboy hat, some nice boot cut jeans partnered with boots, and a fitted white shirt." - you

"anything but that." - joe

"please, joey?" - you

"nope im not doing it." - joe

"how about we do a bet. if you win you can wear that suit you wanted, but if i win then you have to wear my suggestion." - you

"okay, i like how you talk, burrow. what kinda bet are you thinking?" - joe smirked

"how about we do a scrimmage at the practice fields?" - you

"like a football scrimmage?" - joe chuckled

"yeah." - you

"sweetheart that's like an automatic win for me, i'm a professional." - joe

"i'm better than you think, j" - you

"we'll see about that.." - joe

*a week later*

"okay so i asked zac if we could have a scrimmage and he agreed. it's gonna be in 3 days, after practice that day." - joe

"okay sounds good, am i gonna get my own jersey?" - you

"cant you just use one of mine? it's already got your last name on the back." - joe grinned

"i'd prefer to have my own, i think itd be less confusing for the team if i had a different number." - you

"okay fine. i'll get you a jersey, do you want a specific number?" - joe

"nope you can pick, just not 9." - you

"okay sounds good." - joe smirked to himself as he got his phone out to pull some strings and get you a jersey

the day of the scrimmage i walked over to the practice fields 15 minutes before practice ended.

joe wasn't doing a drill at that time and immediately spotted me.

"hey beautiful!" - joe walked over and kissed you

"flirting with the competition?" - you

"that's what happens when the competition is my gorgeous wife- oh also i have your jersey." - joe

"where is it at? i was thinking about changing early." - you

"my locker. it shouldn't be too hard to find, it's the only jersey that doesn't have a 9 on it." - joe

"what number did you pick?" - you

"you'll see when you get it." - joe smiled

"cmon babe, tell me!" - you

"nah- oh i think coach needs me." - joe

"i didnt hear him call for you?" - you

"is that a whistle i hear?" - joe jogged away

"you're so stupid!" - you grinned as you watched joe run away

i made my way over to the locker room and over to joes little corner. after digging through his messy ass locker that i've been begging for him to clean for days, i found my jersey. it was pretty easy to find since it was significantly smaller than the rest of the ones hanging up.

"burrow, #6" is what the jersey read.

i wouldn't find out till later the reasoning behind why joe chose the number but in the meantime i thought it was because it was an upside down 9.

after i changed and put my hair into a ponytail, i walked back over to the practice fields. the team has just gotten done with their final huddle so was able to talk to joe before he became my opponent.

before the game started i told some of the players on my team what the bet was so they made sure to play their best.

joe naturally was quarterback for his team, and i was qb for mine. joe wouldn't admit it during the game but he was actually surprised with my throwing skills.

long story short; my team ended up winning.

i'm not even gonna lie, i was definitely surprised that i won.

even after losing, joe congratulated me with a smile on his face.

"good game, burrow." - joe smiled and stuck his hand out

"good game, burrow." - you smiled back and took his hand shaking it for a second and then pulling him into a hug

later on after all the guys had showered, everyone was walking back to their cars. joe and i held hands as we followed behind the other guys. all of a sudden i had the urge to ask him the question i had been asking myself ever since i got my jersey.

"why'd you pick 6?" - you

joe shrugged with a slight smile on his face but some of the other guys just laughed to themselves.

"what?" - you looked into the direction of tee and jamarr who were dying laughing

they didn't say anything back to me, instead ja'marr whispered something to joe mixon. i'm guessing explaining why joe picked the number that he did.

"that's pretty funny burrow!" - joe mixon

"anyone care to explain it to me?" - you

"y/n why do you think joe made you stand on his left when a photographer got a picture of your backs?" - tee laughed

"i'm confused.." - you

joe stopped walking and pulled his phone out, he pulled up the picture tee was referring too and zoomed in on our numbers.

"6...9..69?! joseph lee!" - you shoved his shoulder as him and the rest of the guys laughed

"that's so immature!" - you

"it's so funny though!" - joe chuckled

"oh my god." - you rolled your eyes

"cmon, you know it's funny y/n." - tee

"whatever." - you rolled your eyes and tried your hardest not to laugh

joe slipped an arm around my waist and pulled me into him more.

"i love you" - joe

"i love you too, but i think for now on i'm gonna leave the football to you. i need a hot bath after that." - you

"sounds good to me." - joe smiled

"EW. i'm out. goodnight guys." - ja'marr

"i think you guys are cute, but i'm out too." - tee

"y'all have a good night. tell the twins that uncle tee loves them." - ja’marr

"we will. remember you're always welcome to come over and have a play date with them." - you

"i appreciate it, bye guys." - tee walked away

"bye tee!” - you

"see ya higgins!" - joe

on our way home i ordered joe’s cowboy game day outfit even though he complained the whole time.

"you're gonna look so handsome." - you

"oh whatever." - joe

"you are!" - you

"i think i'd look straight up sexy in the outfit that i wanted to get." - joe

"absolutely not." - you

"you're missing out, baby." - joe smiled

"oh my lord, just shush it and drive" - you

joe laughed before turning up the radio and putting his hand in my lap, lacing his fingers with mine.

"i love you." - you rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb

"i love you too." - joe

————————————————————————-

authors note: fic to wrap up today’s win!!!

hope you enjoyed! ❤️❤️

[oujamon]

what they don't tell you about Seattle:

it's not that rainy, it's just moist

there is a weird permanent blue filter the moment clouds cover the city

there is an imbalance of puppygirl population and so we released testosterone into the city water to fix this and get catboy twinks to balance it out

every day, the space needle requires a human sacrifice of 1 tourist or 10 amazon employees in order to keep it in check and not unleash hell on earth

capitol hill is great but to really enjoy the city, LEAVE CAPITOL HILL AND EXPLORE SEATTLE, otherwise your name gets changed to joey.

there's no dragons in the city. sorry. despite what the legends say, the closest dragons aren't even in seattle, they're in renton or edmonds. sorry dragonfuckers, you have to actually take the bus.

fare ambassadors are not fare enforcers, they're just there to wag their finger and be like "make sure to tag your orca card next time." However, there's not fare gates so you don't even have to jump it, sometimes you can just walk on and just be like "oh im new to the city i didn't know" or "i forgot, I was in a rush" and tell them you'll tag it on the way out.

the reason why most local businesses charge so much is because rent is way too damn high, don't worry about it

there are two local gay bath houses but then there's an actual bath house in the area.

there is no good southern food or no southern food chains up here, sorry to disappoint, and if you go in talking about food lion or winn dixie in any kroger store here, they shoot you on sight

sticker culture is nuts here and you should be willing to tag signs and such if you wanna, but just as tagging culture goes, if you tag over someone's stickers, you're an asshole and you deserve whatever comes your way (overlapping is okay as long as you don't cover the majority of the previous sticker, making it unviewable), there are some exceptions you're allowed to tag over like this guy cause he's a police bro iirc

if you make the bus drivers' life harder, they are allowed to shoot you

the chemicals in the seattle aquarium turned the fish gay

you are allowed to leave downtown, i promise it's okay

if you call the police at any point without a good enough reason, you're to be exiled off of ocean shores on a tiny wooden raft with a coconut while it downpours as you're endangering everybody

[happeehippie]

instagram j.b

summary: follow along with joe and his fiance evie as they go through his football career.

*face claim is Yasmin Quintana*

series masterlist

evie

liked by bengals, millyg, joeyb_9, and 679,735 others

evie: and so it all begins again.. first GAME DEY of year 3. let’s go jb. 🧡🤍

view all 16,279 comments

user: i love your boyfriend.. im sorry.

> evie: what’s not to love?

user: i am green with envy

joeyb_9: i lack the vocabulary to describe you..

> evie: i freaking love you joey.

user: here we go again, get ready for ev’s feed to be football for the next 6 months 🙄

> user: i don’t know how people are still annoyed by this just unfollow

user: i personally love football season with ev

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and 952,920 others

joeyb_9: Party in the end zone

view all 4,839 comments…

user: MARRY ME

bengals: 🕺🕺🕺

user: attaboy joey!

user: bad mf bro

evie: okay, hear me out.. let’s work on spinning the ball before you do it again yeah?

> user: 🤣🤣🤣

> user: that’s okay! we still love you joey.

> user: HAHAHA you tell him

> joeyb_9: it’s all in the flick of the wrist baby! i’ll get em next time.

> user: 😭😭😭 A for effort lol

evie

liked by bengals, joeyb_9, and 38,829 others

evie: screaming. crying. and obsessing over this shirt. Happy GAME DEY my little bengies!

view all 7,388 comments…

user: I loved your post about leading with love! we are so lucky to have you as our AFC QUEEN!

> evie: sending you my love sweet girl, thank you so much.

user: watch out for all those girls after your man or you won’t need that shirt anymore

user: big fan of this

joeyb_9: if you wanted an autographed tee you could’ve just asked

> evie: i’m literally just a girl

user: the first lady of cincinnati

> evie: i think it should be you. 🤪

millyg: it should be illegal to look this good at a sporting event.

> evie: spoiler.. it is. 🤪

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 627,937 others

joeyb_9: heating up

view all 2,785 comments…

evie: this looks exactly like a dream i had the other day

> joeyb_9: can you tell me how it ended? 😉

> user: NOT JOE GETTING SPICY IN THE COMMENTS

> user: who allowed him to use the wink emoji

> user: i’ll never recover from this

user: so overrated

user: that’s literally my boyfriend

> evie: are we sharing?

user: badass

user: JOKE

evie

liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 984,001 others

evie: todays fit check is courtesy of @lahjay10_ for giving me the most wicked game day kicks ever! hbd to me. 🤪

view all 6,839 comments…

bengals: Happy Birthday Mrs. B!

> evie: yall tryna start trouble! 🤣

user: happy birthday ev! queen in the north!

lahjay10_: hbd ev, you ain’t no regular pigeon!

> evie: thanks jay! you ain’t no regular cat!

> user: i live for the uno x ev interactions

user: Happy Birthdey!

user: @joeyb_9 better get that dub for your birthday

> evie: i’m counting on it!

millyg: happy birthday sister! i love you more than life.

> evie: ugh, ilysm!

user: bday fit goes hard

joeyb_9: happy birthday to the best thing that happened to me. you’re older, wiser, and hot as ever!

> evie: i want to celebrate by drowning in cake and pasta.

joeyb_9

liked by millyg, bengals, and 859,512 others

joeyb_9: winning=happy

view all 2,041 comments…

user: the smile 😍😍

user: are you real?

user: no post for evies birthday?

> user: he doesn’t usually post her, it’s no big deal

> user: no one made posts for her birthday! there was a game!

> user: she also doesn’t post him on her feed for his bday

bengals: Yes it does Joey

user: DM me joe

evie: ugh!!! that smile makes me wanna die!

> joeyb_9: me and you=forever

> evie: that’s the plan big guy 🤍

user: my boy

evie

liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 653,827 others

evie: and that’s MY MAN!!! JB

view all 8,628 comments…

user: the most beautiful

user: SHEEEEESH 🥵

user: so iconic

joeyb_9: my favorite part of every game is knowing you’re out there cheering for me.

> evie: i’ll spend the rest of my life cheering for you joey.

user: joe fuckin burrow is the 🐐

user: are we all just forgetting that we don’t like her?

> user: not everyone doesn’t like her, and if you don’t then unfollow her. easy.

user: oh to be evie..

millyg: mrs. joe fuckin burrow

> evie: coming soon..

> user: QUIT! WHEN?

> user: are we getting an off season wedding?

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and 963,739 others

joeyb_9: 🥶🥶

view all 15,738 comments…

user: i like what you do

user: you didn’t even give ev a birthday shoutout

> user: you obviously didn’t see her stories from that day, he doesn’t have to post her to celebrate

> user: i adore how she calls him “my joey” like yes queen! he is YOURS!

> user: he’s not an object

user: marry me

user: i’m rooting for you!

evie: it’s just too easy baby..

> joeyb_9: 🥱 light work

user: joe brrrrrr

user: he’s cooooold

evies instagram stories

[soggedboytroutanti]

Please tell us more about chai coffee cowboys?😌

Okay so its not fully thought out or anything

im just really gay and i love cowboys. I wanna see Paul and Ted with country accents i wanna see them in boots and belts and cowboy hats i wanna see them on a horse. Two separate ones or riding one together. I dont know anything abt the plot coherently yet. Dunno if itd be tgwdlm or what but. I just need to see cowboy chai coffee. Like….. i cant remember the name but the dif cowboys joey played in tto, the pictures fuel me. Its like food to me. And i need to see paul in that outfit too. I might even draw it. I think Ted would have still had his heart broken by Jenny. She wouldve ran off to clivesdale with kilgore (on a horse). Ted would be a regular at the bar in town. I think hed be a little more sleazy if thats possible. Hed def talk abt his horse a lot which i find funny, mostly for lewd jokes or to entice ladies etc. but i think paul would be kinda quiet. Living in a little house but he maybe works on a ranch for some change and to make a living. A quiet little life. He’s considered other professions and is moreso a cowboy by convenience but doesnt know what he wants. He was a farm boy growing up but most of the guys there were. He runs into Ted at the bar sometimes and Ted always talks to him way too much esp bc hes so drunk. Ted still considers Paul his best friend. Paul mostly tolerates him bc when hes at the bar hes not exactly sober either (at first). Maybe they work on the same ranch. Maybe thats how they grow closer. Ted starts to be more vulnerable. Often times people get closer when people around prove helpful or reliable, which i can see if they work on a farm together. And then they get to talking and uh yeah. Gay cowboyss. Maybe Paul helps out on Mr davidsons ranch. Charlotte could be a baker and have chickens and a farm cat. Sam is a sherriff. Just spitballing. I like to think about it. Emma could be a bartender too

[inkdemonapologist]

EVERYONE'S DOING GREAT IN THE BATIM CTHULHU GAME....

Joey's legs were definitely Very Broken last session, so in this one Jack is uHHHHHH USING? THE GIFT???? THE MASKED MESSENGER GAVE HIM???? TO HEAL JOEYS LEGS????? im sure thats fine

What's also definitely fine and normal is Prophet trying to interrupt a ritual and getting all of the ink sucked directly out of his body by said ritual????? GREAT!! COOL!!!! NOT LIKE HE NEEDS THAT TO STAY CONSCIOUS OR ANYTHING!!!

anyway have some drawings of the music boys having a normal one, and also, if you like out-of-context TTRPG quotes, have some out-of-context quotes from the most recent session under the cut!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Sammy] Sammy’s going to play carnival games! [GM] Okay! He sees a pop-gun and a shooting set-up. [Sammy] … I’m not super good at shooting. Do I have to follow the rules? Can I just like… go stand up close to it? [GM] I mean… no one’s telling you not to… [Sammy] I’m gonna cheat. [Joey] I love the idea of Prophet just, climbing up onto the counter and, as the targets go by, just poking them with the gun,

[Sammy] I am… hMMMRRMRMMmmm… I’m gonna try to stop running off without the rest of the sheep… [GM] Prophet’s New Year’s Resolution,

[Henry] Henry’s going to pick them up and carry them over to Leon. [Sammy] Leon? Really? [Henry] HE’S A MEDIC! [Sammy] I mean, Jack’s here and Jack’s not going to be confused that Joey has horns! [GM] He does look a little, hyperventilate-y, but, uh, he’s trying to fumble for his medical stuff, [Henry] …well okay if he looks panicked Henry’s going to turn around and take him to Jack. [GM] Just turns around on his heel like “Nope, that’s no good” [Sammy] Leon’s like “OKAY GOT MY DOCTORS KIT RIGHT HERE UH UM UH” and Henry’s just like “No. No.” [Jack] Jack also has an indefinite insanity, he’s got the same risk of fumbling, he also probably has LOWER medical skill – [Sammy] Yeah, that’s true, [Henry] OKAY, then yeah, you’re right, I’m taking him to Leon – [Joey] *laughs* Henry turns – Henry carries Joey towards Leon, Leon starts fumbling for his medical stuff, Henry turns around, takes one step towards Jack, looks at Jack, y’know, recovering from this very intense negotiation between two machines… and then TURNS AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO LEON,

[Henry] He might just set Joey on the desk and then be like “He’s hurt, can you help him.” [Joey] (“Fix.”) [Jack] (This is when Leon lets us know that he is not a doctor of medicine.)

[Sammy] At some point, Prophet will pop back into the room and say something like, “Come quickly, my sheep! Yellow mist rose from below!” [Jack] Jack’s gonna… turn to face the Prophet. And he’s not sure what look he’s giving him, but he’s giving him a look of SOME form. [Jack] Probably mostly panicked, honestly, [Sammy] Sammy, my guy, read the room!

[Sammy] Is Bendy having this one-sided conversation Out Loud? [GM] Yeah, that’s what I’m imagining! [Sammy] Ohhh I’m sure this is FINE, what’s gonna phase Leon at this point, honestly!! [GM] Just things about, “Where did you go, we were all worried, what are you doing, I think your legs aren’t okay? Sorry I tried to stand on them, I hope I didn’t mess them up,” [Joey] Hm…… this is a lot of information to feed into a Just Waking Up Joey, [Jack] And now Joey knows what it feels like to be talked at by Joey Drew!

[Henry] *carrying Joey* If you die because of this, I’ll kill you.

[Jack] Jack is gonna put the audiolog in his bag. [GM] Pete approves of this. [Sammy] Oh my goodness, Pete don’t enable him! [GM] He will!

[Joey] I’m suddenly worried about Henry… [Henry] I’M worried about Henry trying to carry Joey down these slippery stairs! [GM] You should be! :) [Sammy] That's an ominous thing for the GM to say… [Henry] Next up, HENRY breaks his legs! [Sammy] EVERYONE STOP BREAKING YOUR LEGS!

[Jack] Should I do something interesting? [Sammy] Yes. YES! Don’t listen to me, but YES.

[Henry] Henry is looking at him, with– it’s been oddly hard to read his expressions lately, I think, but he is… you have his attention!

[GM] There’s a counter on that shooting gallery setup– [Jack] Y-yeah, just, just put him down somewhere, I guess;;;; I don’t want to know what would happen if he tried to do this while Henry was carrying him. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing…! [Henry] Okay, Henry will put him down… [GM] Peter is also wondering what Jack is doing, but– [Jack] ANYWAY! Um…Jack is going to rummage through all of Joey’s pockets! [Joey] *bURSTS OUT LAUGHING* [Joey] I KNOW THAT THIS MIGHT HAVE, OTHER REASONS, But I’m JUST LOSIN' IT at “okay put him down! *STEALS ALL HIS STUFF* Okay thanks!”

[Jack] I don’t know how to explain this! Jack doesn’t normally do things that require explaining! He just collapses, in the swamp!!

[Sammy] Hey, Jack, what happened to your Constitution? [Jack] Oh y’know! [Sammy] Okay, alright, just checking! [Jack] Y’know, normal things! [Jack] Anyway, Jack feels terrified, but also great! It’s fine. :)

[GM] I don’t think Bendy is clued into all this weirdness. He’s just like, that was great! He didn’t know people could do that, why don’t they do that all the time?

[Joey] Did the ink go into his legs and then heal them? Or did the ink go into his legs. [GM] His legs do not hurt anymore! There’s some of that weird, displaced numbness? Where the breaks were? But they don’t hurt! Anymore! [Joey] …okay, but, [Henry] I notice that does NOT answer the question.

[GM] And Sammy can see that the person there is holding a bowl up to this mirror, where it seems to be filling with this knockoff yellow ink! [Jack] They are juicing it!

[GM] Is Joey being careful, going down these stairs? [Joey] You said it’s a spiral staircase, right? [GM] Mmhm! [Sammy] Joey, [Joey] Joey is going to, attempt to – [Sammy] jOEY, [Joey] –slide the railing! [GM] There isn’t a railing. [Joey] There’s not a railing??? [GM] There is not a railing. [Joey] Awww… [GM] You could slide down the stairs I suppose??? [Sammy] (Bumpbumpbump) [Joey] Joey is going to be disappointed that whoever made this scene forgot the most important elements of a spiral staircase!! [Sammy] Joey Drew… [GM] It’s just stone walls. [Joey] *dejected* This sucks… How am I supposed to cartoon my way down! This is so dumb! [Henry] You just WALK DOWN! Like a NORMAL PERSON!!! [Joey] NO!!! [Joey] …How deep is the drop, again? [GM] About two and a half stories. [Henry] Joey we just got those legs fixed! [Jack] JOEY DREW DON’T YOU DARE.

[Jack] Jack’s good at this, at least! *rolls* ….. Jack’s theoretically good at this,,,

[Sammy] Oh, it’s Moonlight! He’s in Carcosa! [Sammy] This would be SO funny if it was like, vanilla-flavour Sammy, hearing these threats from this guy he interacted with like, ONCE [GM] Sammy DID hear threats with the guy he interacted with once! That was like, his interaction! Running away while being yelled at with all sorts of horrible threats of bodily harm. [Sammy] Sammy checking his texts like “Who is this…”

[Joey] Joey is going to ask Bendy what Henry is doing right now, how Henry is faring. [GM] Bendy will say that it looks like he’s stabbing tentacles, with a pocket knife? [Jack] Well that seems normal, and not at all alarming! [Sammy] Yeah, I mean, that’s just a thing Henry does sometimes, I dunno [Henry] Normal Henry Behaviour, [Sammy] Exactly! [Joey] Joey is going to tell Bendy to keep an eye on them, but he wants to press forward to see if they can stop the ritual, because he doesn’t think they have time to run back, and also, he thinks Henry deserves to get a really heroic shot. [Henry] Thanks,,

[Joey] YEET THE TENTACLE MONSTER! [Joey] Jack has experience with snake-yeeting, so it helps.

[GM] Oh, nevermind, Peter is not scooting away, he is not moving much. [Joey] (Peter,,, Now is not the time…!) [Jack] ...Because he’s freaked out, or because he’s injured? [Joey] Because he left! He’s not there! He took Jack’s job! He was in this stressful situation and he just peaced out!!

[Sammy] I feel like I’m not going to be able to use the “scoping out the hotel” bonus dice. I think that ship may have sailed. [Henry] Clearly, in 30 years, Sammy ends up back at the same hotel, and goes, “oh! Hang on! I recognise this place!” [DM] It’s just lodged in his brain, [Sammy] He still has the bonus die, 30 years later… gotta return to the wRECKAGE OF CONEY ISLAND… [DM] …Let’s not wreck Coney Island. [Sammy] It WILL be wrecked in 30 years! [Joey] We don’t have to wreck it! [Sammy] It’s gonna burn down all by itself. [Joey] All by itself… and also just, conveniently for insurance claim purposes!

[GM] There would be magical backlash, that would probably hit all concerned, especially probably the lady, and if she were to die it would be very bad for the art of dance! [Sammy] Okay… but it wouldn’t bring about the Yellow King, just nobody could dance anymore? [GM] …potentially. [Sammy] Technically, nooooobody told me “and make sure people are still able to dance afterwards” [Sammy] Obviously that’s the IDEAL outcome, but it’s not… a necessary thing… [Henry] Sammy please

[GM] Peter doesn’t seem like he’s breathing well, but you could probably sort that out just by, like, positioning him a little better – [Joey] WELL~! I guess Jack just has to perform CPR then~! [Sammy] *laughs* I WAS ABOUT TO SAY, Alright, time for mouth-to-mouth~! [Joey] …probably, away from the tentacles, though?

[Jack] And what’s goin’ on with… other guy whose name I totally remember? [GM] Leon! Mostly cowering. [GM] He kind of grabs onto Jack’s arm when he gets close, and he’s just got his eyes closed and he’s trying to get his breathing under control, and he’s like, *nervously psyching self up* “Okayokayokayokay! Okay… let’s go…!” [Jack] Oh… oh no I got attached to him…

[Henry] Henry’s gonna tell him he can go back upstairs to Allison, if he wants. [Sammy] There is a steam-engine-headed man up there, but, y’know. [Sammy] Beggars can’t be choosers.

[GM] Leon’s still not looking. [Sammy] Need to get you a mask without eye-holes, my dude. They do wonders.

[GM] You hear a voice that doesn’t, sound… classically human?

[Joey] He’s planning on doing Giant Cartoon Hand Grab, and yanking her out of the circle the moment he sees Prophet cause a distraction. [Sammy] These two work SO well together for how much they DON’T work well together.

[Jack] We make bad decisions here in the music department.

[oumaheroes]

ok ok I know you're probably busy and all and you just wrote something for an anon buuuuut im begging for some ireland and north bonding, i loved reading your england and north fic seeing england telling north no but north saying ireland would let him was hilarious tbh. need some irish bois being nice to eachother pls

All for you, Anon

------

Bog Bodies

On his haunches, North took a sip of water from his bottle with one hand and rummaged about his rucksack with the other. The findings were poor: some sandwiches at the bottom under his jacket, now partially squashed, a packet of crisps that had miraculously not popped after he’d sat on the bag forgetting that they were in there, and one lone chunk of Yellowman. Abysmal. He should have thought to pack more, he knew that this wasn’t going to be a short adventure. A Jammey Joey at least.

‘How long do you think they’ll be till they’re done?’ He asked his brother, glancing up at him and jerking his head towards the action they’d spent most of the day secretly watching. ‘Till they finish up here, like.’

Ireland shrugged lazily, ‘Until they’re done finding things, I expect. There’s a lot of peat to cover.’

‘Okay, how long till we’re done.’

‘Till it feels time to go.’

In comparison to North squatting on the floor like a grubby troll- he’d been standing for hours and he was tired- his older brother was leant against a wide, fat oak, his long arms crossed over his chest. He was looking at the happily buzzing archaeologists in the distance carefully, watching for their discoveries or any misbehaviour North couldn’t quite tell. The humans been there ever since the news of the headless corpse the day before, having swarmed the old bog as soon as they’d been alerted, and had been ferrying their equipment to and fro and generally making a big mess of the place ever since. Ireland and North had come to join them not long after, watching them map out the area and begin to excavate whilst the land owners waited on the sidelines.

North eyed Ireland’s own much fatter and well-stocked bag enviously, ‘They’ve already found the most important thing, though.’

Ireland snorted and grinned, ‘That’s subjective.’

‘Not really. Headless ancient corpse versus...?’

Ireland rolled his eyes but didn’t reply.

‘Could always be another in there, I suppose.’ North stood and shook out his feet.

‘Might well be. That sort of thing was common.’

‘They seem to be popping up all the time now.’

‘More in Denmark.’ Ireland ruffled his floppy hair off his forehead and recrossed his arms, ‘But different thing, obviously.’

A bog body was a bog body, as far as North could see. Tanned, leathery skin, well preserved nails and hair. Facial features which looked more lifelike than North would like if he were honest with himself, younger and closer to the modern day than could first be perceived considering the age of some of the finds. Many hundreds, sometimes thousands of years old. Where they came from and how they came to be in the bog in the first place was generally as unknown from one case to another, but the morbid curiosity about them was the same. Quick peeks into the past always held a draw.

This was different though, as Ireland had said. This was theirs. Or rather, the man they had found this time around chopped in half in the peat was Ireland’s.

More than even that, North realised. The discovery of this ancient person was more Patrick’s the person than anyone other than their close family would ever know. Someone he might once have known personally and things he might have owned, a culture he had once shared and understood and encompassed. His personal history as well as his people’s, depending on how old this particular find was.

‘You hoping they find something that you once dumped in there?’ North asked him, trying to sound nonchalant about the question.

Ireland let out a bark of laughter, ‘Not here. Might not look like much now but this place was special. Too special to piss about around.’

‘But you dumped stuff in other places, then.’

‘Not dumped.’ Ireland corrected, ‘I used to leave little wooden figures about here and there.’ He held up his hands about a foot apart, ‘Maybe this big. Added along to ceremonies people held or whenever I passed by alone.’

‘What for?’

‘What for is a question.’ Ireland frowned thoughtfully and glanced back out to the archaeologists. ‘Several reasons. Luck, offerings, promises. Can’t remember all of them. Copied what Mama used to do.’

Several branches of questions opened up at once. His brothers didn’t talk about their mother or childhood often- topics easily brushed off or for some reason hard to bring up in the first place- and North always felt uncomfortable poking at the former. Mama was a parent who was potentially his, but wasn’t, someone he felt that he should love and respect when she was as distant to him as a God was.

Sensing that this was an opportunity he shouldn’t waste, North carefully chose the avenue he felt would yield the most answers.

‘What were the idols of?’

‘People, Gods, us, animals.’ Ireland waved a hand, ‘I’ll make you one sometime. Been a while since I practiced. Or Alisdair can, his used to be half decent. Don’t ask Rhys though, his are shit.’

‘They might find one.’

‘Might do. Wood rots though.’

‘So does skin, and look what happened.’

A scurrying of men and women along their walkway and back to far afield cars made them both pause, something small and wrapped carried amongst them. The spiked edges of their talk floated back to their spot in the trees, high and excited. It was empty landscape, no human activity apart from the archaeology dig, but North could feel a thrum in the air, the last notes of what first called him and his brother to this place. Something he couldn’t name but which connected him to everything.

Stay, stay. Watch, and remember.

North wasn’t really too sure why he was here. This was his brother’s land after all, his brother’s ancient people and lost ways, not his, but still this was connected to him somehow. Or, it was better to say that it was something he was connected to, something that was apparently important for him to witness for his people’s benefit- the circle of time connecting him to his siblings’ past to fill him in on what he had missed.

There was so much of his brothers’ lives which came before him. North felt Croghan Hill at his back, heavy and looming in the summer sun. How many different peoples had that hill seen? How many of North’s own family, past his sibling’s mother and beyond? So many mortal lives caught in its shade, so many centuries before he’d even been thought of. What had any of this got to do with him, he who couldn’t understand the significance of what was being found.

‘This is for you too, you know.’ Ireland seemed to sense something of what North was thinking. He tilted his head to one side, his eyes still on the dig site and the treasures within, ‘All connects back to a point we’re both a part of.’

‘The bog bodies?’

‘Not just them, or any of what they find like this. What they represent.’ He turned to North, the usual jokey expression in his eyes replaced with something more serious, ‘It’s a culture that’s not here anymore but that is still a part of us, even if we can't see it. It matters the same to both of us.’

‘But it wasn’t mine is it.’ North dug his hands into his jean pockets, ‘I wasn’t alive to experience it. I don’t even know what any of that was for.’

Ireland looked at him, face unreadable, then looked away. ‘If you say so.’

North looked at him. ‘What?’

Ireland shrugged, ‘If you say so.’

‘What do you mean, if I say so?’

‘If you think this has nothing to do with you, then who am I to tell you any different.’

‘Wh- I don’t..’ North clicked his tongue, ‘What the fuck does that mean.’

‘What? You wanted me to tell you something different?’

‘No-‘

‘You want me to sit here and hold your hand and tell you there there babby, everything’ll be grand?’

‘No! Christ, fuck off, then.’

Ireland shrugged again, one armed and apathetic, and turned away. North felt his cheeks heat up.

‘It’s true, isn’t it? That out there’s for you, that’s your old people.’

‘Sure.’

‘Well then. Then, what’s it got to do with me?’

Ireland shook his head, his mouth downturned in disappointment or frustration. ‘Why are you asking me? You seem to have your own opinion.’

‘Why’d you have to be a cunt about it.’

Ireland snorted, ‘Being a cunt am I-‘

‘You are. You’re-‘

‘Rather that than a thick-headed child.’

‘-brushing me off, it was a valid fucking question.’

‘It wasn’t a question; you were simpering for something.’

North recoiled, ‘Simpering-!’

‘Aye, you were.’ Ireland’s cheeks were ruddy in the high way they did only when he got truly annoyed about something, ‘You wanted me to convince you that this does matter to you, give you a clean old line of evidence that you can take away and make yourself feel better with. I already did that enough and I ain’t arguing my point. You either take what I said and try to make sense of it, or you don’t. I’m not going to stand here and put up with you begging for validation.’

North clenched his jaw, his teeth aching with the pressure of not immediately shouting back.

‘People will take voiced doubt as truth.’ Ireland continued, stepping closer. He was still taller than North, still holding the upper ground, and North had for remind himself not to take the automatic instinct to step back, ‘Makes them question and think when they might not have done before. And you feeding into self-pity is pissing annoying. It’s pathetic; I don’t want to hear it.’

‘It was a question.’ North felt a shameful sting in his eyes. He pushed away the knowledge that his brother had hit on a truth he hadn’t him to voice, ‘I-‘

‘It wasn’t a question, don’t give me that. You wanted me to tell you why any of that-‘ a sharp wave of Ireland’s hand towards the humans on the bog, ‘-is for you.’

North swallowed, the core of it too cleanly said to deny, ‘Yes.’

Ireland shook his head, ‘Think for yourself, boy. Did you feel a need to come here?’

‘Yeah.’

‘If I hadn’t called you, if I hadn’t come, would you have anyway?’

North nodded. He would have, it wasn’t a feeling that could be ignored.

‘Then that’s your confirmation. That’s important for you and yours too, that’s it.’

‘But why.’

‘How the fuck should I know. I don’t have it all written down here in rules, now do I.’ Ireland moved back to his spot against the tree, standing there stiff, ‘You’re supposed to have a brain, you tell me.’

North shrugged helplessly, ‘Because my people are interested? Because it’s news. Because it’s an older culture of this island and people want to look for something recognisable that they’ve kept?’

Ireland’s expression didn’t change, ‘And what do you think is true?’

‘I dunno, all of them?’ North let out a breath, ‘A little bit of all of them for different people.’

As he said it, he felt that it was probably true. There wasn’t one good answer but the fact was that he was here to watch anyway. Ireland was right, that meant something, even if North didn’t know exactly what.

Ireland waited a while before speaking, as if he was waiting for North to say something more or question him again. When neither were forthcoming, he nodded and leant back more easily against the tree trunk, crossing his feet and the ankles to rest on his heels, ‘I’m not here because all in that there bog was a culture I was part of. I’m here to watch it dragged out of the dirt because it’s something that will mark the people today. Look for what’s the same and not what’s different, you’ll never get anywhere otherwise.’

The ancient hill and the shiny metal cars that now drove around it, small and modern under forgotten giants. The same could be said about them and the archaeologists: Ireland watching the return of something he’d lost, and North watching it unfold to learn what would become a part of him, as the humans picked it all from the peat. The old and new, two sides of the same coin used for any purpose humans chose.

North pressed his lips together, his throat feeling tight. ‘Yeah. I get it.’ He paused, ‘Thanks.’

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ireland shake his head with a small smile, ‘You called me a cunt.’

‘You are a cunt.’

‘Ouch.’ Ireland held a hand to his chest in mock injury, ‘That hurt my feelings.’

‘You don’t have any feelings.’

‘In that case, I won’t share what’s in my bag.’

North looked to it, then back to his brother. His stomach rumbled, ‘I was wrong.’

‘Thank you.’

‘You’re not a cunt.’

‘I know, I’m so lovely.’

‘What’s in the bag?’

Ireland toed it with his shoe and grinned, ‘Just cheese sandwiches.’

‘I take it back; you are a cunt.’

‘Your loss.’

--------

AN:

Bog Bodies are human remains found in old peat bogs. The make up of the soil- the lack of oxygen and the particular mineral make up- is wonderful for preserving organic material by tanning it to almost leather. The result is perfectly preserved people, down to the hair on their heads or the pores of their skin

This story is set in 2003 and the discovery of Old Croghan Man, noted in different sources to have been found in May or June near Croghan Hill which the man was named after. The hill is very old and part of ancient and surviving modern local mythology, but the area itself was also regarded as something very special, a portal from our world to another beyond

Bog bodies ended up where they did for a variety of reasons: murder, accident, or even sacrifice. The old Irish Kings, as is one theory suspected for Old Croghan Man, could be held responsible for bad weather, or a bad harvest, and sacrificed to appease the Gods in the bog

More sources, if you're interested:

Thanks for reading!

[ashtxeman]

WHY I LIKE GLASS JOE A LOT

I promised a lot of information about why I like Glass Joe so I wrote this in an hour with no plan, no proof reading, completely improvised. If I planned this it would probably be WAY longer lol but I'll spare you all the pain of that. SO. ENJOY MY REASONING.

Glass Joe. Glass Joseph. Fragile Joey. It’s a name that’s been uttered for centuries in many different forms, given many different explanations. Critics, theorists, philosophers alike have carved away at their lives trying to solve the answer to the universe's greatest question. And that is:

Glass Joe, good why?

I can answer that, absolutely.

HEY I LOVE GLASS JOE A LOT IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT ALREADY JUST GOTTA ESTABLISH THAT HAHAHA OKAY LETS GO. SHOUTOUT TO THE FUCKING RTGAME PUNCHOUT VIDEO YOU DID THIS TO ME.

POINT 1: HE IS HANDSOME.

I swear to God this man was hand-crafted by the hands of an incomprehensible deity because HOW is he this flawless. He’s 5’10, great height honestly I’m 5’3 I don’t want to be dating a skyscraper you know. He’s a skinny bastard but that’s okay, more on that later. His hair, oh my goodness gracious, lord above, help me Jesus. HIS HAIR. IS SO GOOD. If you put that skateboard ramp ass hairstyle on literally any other character they would look like a dumbass, but here, on this man alone, it’s the most delicately poised series of ginger strands I ever did see.

His hair looks SO soft. It’s unbelievable. It’s such a lovely shade of auburn with hints of burgundy. It must smell like cinnamon. He must take great care of it. A real Head and Shoulders, coconut oil, double wash kinda guy. A real bougie kinda guy. Yeah he’s not great physically in SPORT terms but in PUBLIC terms he’s absolutely stunning and stronger than anybody else. I wanna run my fingers through his silky locks so bad it’s insane and to understand this desire I’ll have to be strapped down and operated on. DONATE MY BRAIN TO SCIENCE GO AHEAD. THEY NEED IT. 

Not to mention it is SO fun to draw. SO SO SO FUN. Maybe I’m just lucky it’s such a wacky and dynamic hairstyle it transfers quite well into my artstyle, but it’s so fun. It’s easy, it’s fast, it creates an absolutely iconic silhouette, I love colouring it because it’s so damn pretty and ginger/red is such a broad colour scheme that can be put into a gradient so well (i love doing gradients with hair cause i hate when its just a block of colour). Nobody could understand the sheer joy i get putting that dumbass ahoge between the bridge of his fringe and the rest of his hair. That little ‘ right at the top ITS SO FUN. i love him his hair is great.

His face. Carved like the works of the finest artest. He’s a canvas of quality that can rival Van Gogh, for god sake. He’s got the jawline of a man on a lifelong mewing streak, STOP IT HE’S SO GORGEOUS I CANT EVENNNN. He is seriously so good looking. His eyes, the little pink-tinted eyebags that show he doesn’t need sleep because he’s so hardcore on caffeine, his gorgeous big ol nose i wanna kiss so bad, his super dynamic chin i wanna kiss so bad, his face i wanna kiss so bad. I wanna kiss him so bad. He is genuinely such a beautiful man its stunning, im literally a lesbian but if they somehow brought glass joe into the real world looking exactly how he does in those GOD DAMN CUTSCENES OOOOO i’d be bisexual so fast it’s crazy. He’s just that great. He’s got that power. I love his nervous little grin and the little creases on his face, cause he’s OLD AND SENILE. He’s 38 for god sake he shouldn’t look this good and sure, you can see his age slipping in a little with the eyebags and the wrinkles but that only ADDS to how stupidly divine he is in appearance. Stop that handsome man officer!! He’s breaking the laws of BEAUTY. GIVE IT TO MEEEEE. MEEEE.

His fashion sense although odd (ive never actually seen anyone wearing red trousers) just works. It wouldnt work on anyone else but it works on HIM. this is a theme. THINGS DONT WORK ON OTHER PEOPLE BUT THEY WORK ON JOE HE’S SO COOL LIKE THAT. his turtleneck kills me its so good it highlights what little figure he has and it contrasts his red hair so well cause its a really deep blue. SIGH. i wish. I have a turtleneck thats exactly the same but let me tell you i dont even breath the same air of fashion that he breathes. He’s so far ahead of the game he’s on an entirely different runway. He is not gonna sashay away anytime soon. On a constant shante. Unstoppable.

POINT 2: HE EMBODIES HIS CULTURE WELL.

Cats out of the bag, joe is a french stereotype. But. and dont quote me here. I find it very admirable HOW he is a french stereotype. Because he kind of.. Isn’t? He uses the characteristics of that stereotype sure, but he doesn’t engage with them the same way an actual french stereotype would. He likes coffee, he likes bread, he loves France like its his child, sure. But he doesnt have a twirly moustache, he doesnt wear a beret, he doesnt galavant around in black and white mime clothing. Even if that would be funny yknow it just wouldnt be as good. 

His admiration of coffee and bread is so relatable cause hell, I LIKE BREAD AND CAFES AND STUFF! He needs that coffee to keep him going you dont understand. If he misses a dose of caffeine he’ll deflate like the pyramids did in despicable me 1. He’ll be a puddle on the floor, he’ll quite literally cease to exist. Coffee is his golden idol, his hand of midas, his treasure. He has great willpower (more on that later) but coffee is that secret weapon he uses to push him just a little bit further. Plus he just thinks it tastes good and is happy to express that, you cant blame the guy for that. A good drink is a good drink. Even though i dont like coffee he’s so happy with it i respect it. He makes things i dont like respectable. Thats whats so real to me. What a goat. As for bread, bread is just great. Baguettes are yum. All the french bread i know about is usually close to white bread and autism behold thats like the only bread i can bear to eat so its alright with me man. You can go to joes house and he will have one of those fancy bread cupboards. He’ll pull out baguettes like he’s at a renaissance fair and they have a sword shortage. He’s on the case. You will NOT leave his house on an empty stomach. Like a very caring grandma, he will get you fed with the most immaculate 5 star meal you ever did eat. French food is great and theres no doubt about that, thats why he loves FOOD. I TRUST HIM. HE KNOWS WHATS GOOD. if mr glass joe turned around to me and said ‘broken glass is good food’ you bet your ass id be smashing windows and munch munch crunching all day long. 

Maybe his admiration of his country is a little over the top to some. You know the french landmarks in the back of his cutscenes, the ‘vive le france’ and singing the national anthem. But no. i dont think its excessive, i think its passionate. This is undeniably a man that is SO passionate about his culture and the lifestyle he’s grown up around, he’s not afraid to express it to other people until they cant stand it anymore. He’ll take as many hits as he needs to in the name of france. He is an embodiment of everything endearing about being foreign, honestly. An extreme love for the things his country has: food, landmarks, fashion, language, culture. EVERYTHING IS ON HIS LIST. NOTHING IS LEFT OUT. HE LOVES FRANCE AND I LOVE HIM. YES SIR!! VIVE LE FRANCE!! YES!!! 

Also he single-handedly convinced me to start learning french. I seriously didnt care about it before but after i started to like him more and really get into punchout i downloaded duolingo and i still have a streak going AND im actually convinced to try hard in my french lessons and exams because yknow.. I want this fictional french guy to be proud of me. :] 

POINT 3: HE IS DETERMINED.

OHHHHHH BOY. okay right im gonna get inspirational here. Play some dramatic orchestral music or something. 

The thing about Glass Joe is that he never. Gives up. Never. There is nothing in the world you could do to this man that could possibly stop him from boxing. They call Kaiser a fighting machine but boy have they not seen Joe. once that man stepped into the ring for the first time, he’d found a second home, and i think thats evident. 100 times this man has fallen down, brushed it off and gotten right back up. He’s had hardships, ups, downs, tumbles, falls. But everytime, no matter what, he’s back on his feet and ready to try again. And there is something so admirable and inspirational about that kind of approach being written into a CHARACTER THAT IS MEANT TO BE A FRENCH STEREOTYPE. ‘GHHHH FRENCH PEOPLE ALWAYS SURRENDER ACSHUALLY’ SHUT UP!! NOT THIS ONE!! I like to think Joe’s motto is ‘never surrender’. Yes he’s a little self aware how ironic it is thats hes french and doing all this but shhh. He knows whats hes doing and he’s happy to do it. Because like ive said again and again, theres nothing that can stop him. 100 kos, 200 kos, 300, 400… you keep cranking that number up and he’ll keep cranking the punches. Keep those lights up, keep those gloves on, you knock Joe down and eventually, no matter how long it takes, he’s back for more.

Now dont misinterpret that, he’s not a masochist like aran ryan, no sir-ee. He doesnt enjoy losing, nobody does. But the thing is he pushes past that disappointment and those hardships because he knows that eventually, if he keeps on going, things are going to change. He knows that if he lays down the gloves and walks away, there’s no possibility of succeeding. You could drop Joe off on the other side of the world and just like that immortal snail, he’s gonna find a way back. Even if it takes forever. Cause he is weak but determined, he isn’t threatening but relentless, he is stoppable but unstoppable. Glass joe has the strongest will out of any character i know. Cause if any of my other favourites went through 100 whopping losses like he did, they’d retire on a tropical island and never interact with the world again. But not joe. Never joe. My king.

POINT 4: HE IS ENDEARING.

THIS GUY IS SO DAMN CHARMING IT MAKES ME WANT TO EXPLODE INTO CONFETTI AND GLITTER AGHHHHH.

Come on. How can you look at his smile, his lovely little, subtle smile with those shy old eyes, and not immediately fall in love with him. He’s got some many little subtle things. Like the way his pupils dart around or his little sway back and forth when he’s knocked out or the way he bounds back and forth on his legs like an old-timey guy about to have a squabble. The way his mouth goes :0 so very subtly when he’s breathing. The way he always looks either shocked beyond repair, completely zooted or very confused. It’s all so perfect. IT’S ALL THESE THINGS THEY MAKE HIM BRILLIANT.

Im seriously looking for scraps here but i love finding meaning in otherwise meaningless things. I love analysing every detail until there is literally nothing else i could possibly say about it. He is perfect for this.

His fucking VOICE. OHHH MY GOD. it was so damn funny the very first time i heard his voice, because honestly it feels deliberate how they put his humble cutscenes before his first bit of dialogue so you expect this soft-spoken kinda light-voiced french guy only to be greeted with CHRISTIAN BERNARD’S DEEP ASS VOICE. OHHH KILL ME HE SOUNDS SO HANDSOME I WANNA SINK INTO THE FLOOR AND CRY WITH JOY. i wouldnt even mind if he was a soft-spoken light-voiced french guy but they really had to amp it up a little and give this lowly frenchman the most eloquent unnecessarily deep and silky voice ever. HE DIDNT NEED THAT. BUT THANK YOU FOR GIVING HIM THAT NINTENDO CAUSE ITS ONE OF HIS GREATEST QUALITIES. Plus french is just a really fun language to listen to. I could honestly sit listening to joe’s voicelines on repeat for hours on end and be fine with it. They’re so good. He’s so beautiful sounding. Its absolutely hilarious considering his voice in comparison to appearance. COME ON!!! AAHAHHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHAGHGHS I LOVE CHRISTIAN BERNARDS VOICE I WISH I COULD HEAR HIM SPEAK IN ENGLISH. I NEED MORE OF HIS VOICE. AGGGGGHHHHH. 

POINT 5: WHATEVER ELSE

I erm i erm i just wanna say i love joe so much. The way he’s constructed, appearance, personality, physicality, dialogue, culture inspiration, story. EVERYTHING about him is just so cool and fun to think about and in my head it all weaves perfectly together to create the best character in all of fiction. It has now been over 2 unapologetic years of me yapping on about this guy. Whether it be his canon self and the things he does or the fanon version of him thats ive sourced from other peoples awesome HC’s or forged from my own lore. Any excuse i get, i talk about joe. Because it is so utterly fun. Yeah, he’s not the only boxer i love!!! Not at all!! I have several other favourites persay, but on the punch-out tier list joe is so good he has his own category thats about 4 ranks higher than what S rank is. And that is deserved. 

He loves his culture, he never gives up, he’s arguably a weakling and an absolute screwup but he never lets that get in his way because of her persistent he is, he’s gorgeous, he’s cool, he’d be a great friend, dad, boyfriend, husband, EVERYTHING. He’s got a weird hairstyle and weird fashion sense but somehow he looks great with it. He beat NICK BRUISER CANONICALLY?!?! He’s french, he’s ginger, which in a joking sense makes him the worst but against all odds he is the best. The french are lucky to be represented by him because he’s so utterly and unapologetically awesome and cool and fun and nice and inspiring and all that jazz. There is not a single thing that could stray me away from the path of Joe. my lore for him is SO deep. My admiration for him is INFINITE. Ive read through his wiki a pagillion times. Ive beaten him over 80 times in-game simple because i like seeing him so much and.

Well. i have entire shrine dedicated to him. let me know if you wanna see that....

[mamisfavmosherz]

AGHH HIEE!! UR SAFIYA HXS WERE SOO GOOD 🙏🏻🙏🏻

COULDD I REQUEST A SAFIYA X READER WHERE LIKE WHERE EVERYONE WAS IN THE LOUNGE TALKING N STUFF AND READER AND SAFIYA WERE SITTING NEXT TO EACHOTHER BCC THEYRE REALLY CLOSE N STUFF AND THE READER HAS A MASSIVE CRUSH ON SAFE AND TRIES TO GRAB HER HAND AND STUFF AND SAFIYA HOLDS HER HAND N STUFF ANDD THEN SAFIYA GIVES READER SOMEE LITTLE KISSES AND STIFF LIKE THAT AND ITS JUST THE FLUFFIESY EVERR!!

SORRY IF ITS ALOTT I JS RLLY LIKE DETAIL 😭 HAVE A NICE DAYY :3 🩷

Pairing: Safiya Nygaard x Reader

Warnings: Tooth rooting fluff, mentions of death, slight angst

A/n: Stop I love this request so much! It's so cute! And it's never too much. The details helped me a lot to write this, so thank you! Although it is a bit short! Im sorry about that! Hope you enjoy tho <3

Masterlist , Escape The Night Masterlist

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Emotions On High

Tonight's events were most definitely not what you were expecting to experience when you agreed to meet Joey and a few of your other friends in what you thought was a fun 'Mission game' Joey had made up, not an actual town saving mission which had gotten a bunch of your friends killed.

The night had been long already, and you had a feeling it wasn't gonna end anytime soon, unfortunately. For right now, though, you were all sitting down in the arcade lounge room, going over what artifacts you had left to cleanse, and what more this mission was gonna throw at you.

You were kinda spacing out, just thinking over everything and being worried for the rest of your friends - and your own - lives.

"Hey, you okay there ?" A soft voice said to you in a low volume, not wanting to startle you. You looked up and looked in your long time friend - and crush - eyes. Safiya was looking at you with worry, but her eyes were soft and sympathetic. You got lost in her eyes for a second. She noticed and half smirked before gently bumping your shoulder. At that, you shook your head and looked down your cheeks, a light shade of pink.

"Oh! Uh, yhea, I'm okay... it's just been a lot to process... tonight..." You said a sad smile crossing your face. Safiya matched your smile and moved closer to you on the couch to try and give you some comfort. She understood what you were feeling on the outside it may look like she's just focusing on the mission and nothing else but this was affecting her too, her whole approach towards this was mostly coming from a place of wanting to get you and herself out of here.

You took in a sharp breath when she moved closer. You've had a massive crush on her for a while now but never said anything in fear of ruining your friendship. Her finger faintly brushed against your leg, and you looked down at her hand before looking back up at her, seeing she was already looking at you. Taking a leap of faith, you decided to hold her hand. You were tentative, but Safiya just smiled at you and moved your interwind hands onto her lap softly, stroking the back of your hand with her thumb.

You smiled even bigger if that was even possible. For anyone else, this might seem small and insignificant, but to you, this was everything. You guys had hugged before and touch hands but it was in a way any other friends would do. This seemed more intimate. You thought maybe it was just the adrenaline and fear of what's going on at the moment that led her to act like this with you, but honestly you couldn't careless you would take what you could get.

Safiya had also had a crush on you for a little bit now and she could tell you reciprocated atleast some of her feelings - you weren't that good at hiding it - but she didn't wanna jinx anything. Right now, seeing you so worried, tense, scared, and giving the situation you guys were in, she didn't care anymore. She was gonna fight with all she had in here to get you both out of this town, but it wasn't guaranteed that you guys were gonna make it out, so she threw caution out the window.

Seeing you lost in thought again she lifted your interwind hands up to her lips and left butterfly kisses on you hand. At that you head snapped to her. She stopped for a second scared she crossed a line but at seeing your shocked but clearly happy face she continued. She saw you relax and lean more into her so she slightly repositioned you guys so you were now cuddling. She started leaving light kisses on you head and hands, which she still heald, and you sighed content, forgetring for a second what was going on around you.

You guys would definitely need to talk about this later, but for right now, with how uncertain things were, you were just happy to be in eachothers arms.

[fluffypotatey]

SO. mythical j. sausage infodump time.

(note: i will only be talking about his empires smp s1 lore here bc that’s what im most familiar with, but just know that he’s one of the most lore-heavy CCs i watch, and it shows in his empires smp lore, which spans across like 3 different servers lol) (also btw: empires smp is a minecraft series in which 12-13 players each rule their own biome, or “empire,” and each has their own main item that they export, and have a monopoly on)

lord mythical j. sausage of mythland started out as a generally friendly and peaceful guy, but conflict quickly broke out between him and codfather jimmy, ruler of the neighboring swamp, over a series of escalating thefts and pranks. in this conflict, sausage teamed up with Wizard Gem of the crystal cliffs and Count fWhip of the grimlands, forming the Wither Rose Alliance. (note: these guys were so heavily sibling coded. it was fantastic)

within this alliance, sausage was often the odd one out. gem and fwhip’s empires were right next to each other, while mythland was a lot farther away, and it was also kind of their bit that gem and fwhip would mess with sausage a bit. also, there was the fact that gem had magic, and fwhip had cool tech, and sausage had neither of those things, instead dabbling in blood sacrifices and dark magic (both of which gem very much disapproved of).

this came to a head when xornoth, the demon menacing the server, trapped the wither rose alliance in the nether, and fwhip and gem decided to sacrifice sausage to reopen their portal and let them out. xornoth had been tempting sausage for some time at this point, so at this betrayal, he lashed out and eventually became fully corrupted, leaving the wither rose alliance.

oh shit this got long so i’ll sparknotes the rest:

after being corrupted, sausage would often black out, and during this time “dark sausage” (aka evil him with no morals or anything, fully corrupted) would start wreaking havoc

after leaving the WRA, his main allies were Farmer Queen Pearl (a later addition to the WRA, liked the demon bc he kept trying to kill her and it was like enrichment in her enclosure) and Joey of the Lost Empire (known monsterfucker, also corrupted by the demon)

many crimes later, he was eventually cleansed of his corruption when gem killed him with her magical staff. he was dead For Real for a while after that, and came back to life jesus style after taking a walk with his dog (actually a magical interdimensional being) through 5 of his past lives. since coming back he started getting prophetic dreams, and also rejoined the wither rose alliance

at the apocalyptic end of empires smp season 1 (which happened when count fwhip and codfather jimmy put salmon and cod into a power reactor together, causing a huge explosion that fractured the whole continent), sausage had to watch pearl, his best friend and the person who stayed by his side while he was at his worst, wither away in front of him as her empire burned (her life force was connected to her land, so when it died she did too) (it’s okay she canonically ascended to godhood lol) and then went home to find mythland overrun with the same (evil and magical btw) sheep that he used to sacrifice for his blood magic, and they were completely trashing the place.

and then he blew up in a magical explosion trying to get rid of all of the sheep and also his evil double, dark sausage (which you may remember from earlier- he split off from sausage when gem cleansed him of the corruption)

(also btw, empires smp is a vanilla server- all of the magic and cool tech and stuff were done through a combination of roleplay and a custom textures mod they added for immersion stuff)

this is barely touching on most of the roleplay and shenanigans that went on in empires smp season 1 btw. these are the important beats of sausage’s story but like. i haven’t even told you about the fishfuckers man. there’s so much. there were 12 players on this server and all of them had some absolutely wild shit happening. i didn’t even tell you about the human sacrifices sausage did

this is a vanilla server?????

[bum-scum]

NSFW for Wishshipping and Dragonshipping, with Top! Yugi & Top! Yami and Bottom! Joey

Alrighty!

Wishshipping/ Dragonshipping. (Yugi x Yami x Joey) hope I did this right. This is my first time snippet these three.

WARNINGS APPLY HERE! THRESOME,SEXY TIMES AHEAD NAUGHTY NAUGHTIES!! NO NO WORDS FOR PEE PEE.

I will warn that my English is bad, because grammar and sentence that don't make sense, etc, you get the drill.

WARNING AGAIN, THREESOME, SEXY TIMES, NAUGHTY NAUGHTIES! USE OF NO NO WORDS FOR PEE PEE.

pass this line! Here we go!

_____

He'd never expected this to happen.

No, not at all.

But here he is, laying on the bed with two of the most important people he ever trusted himself with.

Yugi and Yami.

Joey squirmed in excitement. Feeling both of his nipples being kissed and sucked. Joey arched his back, wanting more of their touches.

"Now, now, Joey. You must be patient." Yami said to him.

"Thats right, Joey. Let us handle this, you just relax." Yugi spoke.

Joey looked at them both, nodding his head. He didn't know what to expect next.

"Now partner, how about we give Joey what he wants, hm?"

"Yes, I think thats fair."

"What are you guys talking aboutttaaa!" Joey moaned as Yugi began sucking his cock. Wet and warm, the touch of tongue licking around him felt all too good.

His moans were silenced by Yami's lips, tongue plunging in his mouth. Joey felt boneless by the hot heat spreading through his body.

Yami broke the kiss, looking over at Yugi's direction.

"Prepare him, partner."

Joey gasped as he felt a wet finger going inside. Yami's hands groped and touched all over his body.

"Ah, shit! Yugi...f-fuck!" Joey spread his legs more, feeling himself getting stretched and used to the fingers that are now thrusting and spreading.

"Oh! Fuck!"

"Found it!"

"Great job, Yugi. Now let's get him into position."

"Position? What position?" Joey asked, his body hot and heated, his cock throbbing and excited for a touch.

"You'll see. Hands and knees." Yami comanned.

Joey did as he was told. On his hands and knees, his body shaking with nervousness.

"Shh. Its okay, relax, Joey. This will make you see stars." He heard Yugi from behind.

And stars he did see.

Joey moaned around Yami's cock as he felt Yugi thrust inside of him from behind. Hands roamed and groped at his chest, nipples being twisted and pulled. Yugi's hands held onto Joeys hips as he thrust harder and deeper into him.

"MMMPPHH!" Unexpectedly, Yugi's hand slapped Joey's ass. The pleasurable sting shot heat down to his already throbbing cock.

"Oh, Joey, you feel soo good." He heard Yugi.

"Your mouth is divine. You're soo good."

Joey squeezed his eyes shut, his own cock throbbing and aching to be touched. Being inbetween these two, getting pleasured on both ends, treated with respect made the pleasure all the more worth it.

So much worth it.

"Ah, fuck...Im cumming!" Joey could tell by the erratic thrusts and pants Yugi was making.

Joey moved his hips, urging Yugi to touch his cock for relief of release.

"Ah, Joey....I dont think...I can...last long, oh! You feel soo fucking good! I wanna feel you tighten up for me."

Joey moaned loud around the thick cock in his mouth, his own cock happily dripped once Yugi's hand was stroking him in time of his thrusts.

"Yesss, Joey...your mouth is making me come undone...Ah, just a little more...Ah, gods...AH!"

"Ahh fuck! Cumming...JOEY!"

Joeys eyes widened as his mouth became filled with cum, swallowing it in huge gulps, some dripping down from the corner of his mouth as he felt Yugi from behind, filling him up as well.

And not long after Joey let out his own loud moan, hitting his peak as well during Yugi's own peak.

All three of them separated and collapsed next to eachother. Catching their breathes.

"I...just...wow...dat was somethin else." Joey spoke.

He heard Yugi and Yami giggle.

"Did you enjoy yourself, Joey?" Yami asked.

"Yea, whos idea was dis?"

"It was Yugi's?"

"Yugi?"

Joey turned his head to see Yugi grinning mischievously.

They all snuggled up, with Joey in the middle and Yugi on the right and Yami of the left, their body close and snug.

Joey kissed both of them. As he heard their quiet snores minutes later. Looking up the ceiling, he smiled.

"I wanna do dis again."

Hope you like it anon! I did my best. Enjoy!

[joeys-babe]

Someday We’ll Be Together

Chapter 3: Movie night

_______________________________

(y/n's pov)

"joe?" - you called out when you walked into his house

"i'm in the kitchen!" - joe

i picked up my pace and made my way into the kitchen, looking around on my way there.

when i got into the kitchen. joe was straining spaghetti noodles.

"this is a nice place you've got" - you

"thanks. i didn't want to be in the nfl and living with my parents still, so i bought the house across the road." - joe laughed

"how do you think i feel. i'm jobless and living with my parents!" - you laughed

"there are plenty of possibilities for you here in cincinnati. you were a physical therapist.. why not work for the bengals? i could put a good word in for you." - joe smiled at you

his smile.

"that doesn't really sound like a good idea joey. we'd be goofing off when we're supposed to be working." - you

"yeah... you could be a water girl or my personal water girl at practice, because the other guys would try to flirt with you." - joe

"dude that doesn't sound terrible to me! have you seen some of your teammates?" - you

joe gave me this annoyed look and rolled his eyes before turning his attention to cooking.

"why are you so annoyed? how'd your girlfriend react if she found out i was your personal water girl?" - you

"i'm done with her." - joe

"what?" - you

"she treats me like shit. when i went home because you told me to leave, i called her back and she just talked about how i needed to work out more." - joe

"why would she say something like that? what was her reasoning?" - you

"she said that all the rest i took because of my torn acl is causing me to lose my six pack. no joke she actually told me, lexie mathews doesn't date boys that don't have six packs." - joe

"oh my god. i'm so sorry she said that joe, you don't deserve that. i don't know how you are as a boyfriend but i know how you are as a friend you deserve someone that treats you as good as you treat them." - you

"thanks y/n. i'm just waiting for her to fuck up so i have a reason to break up with her." - joe

"i'd say her being insanely degrading is reason enough." - you

"well yeah. she's at a party with a bunch of guys right now, the last time she was at a party with a bunch of guys she cheated on me." - joe

"she cheated on you?!? she cheated on joe burrow." - you

"yup. and then she told me it was my fault because i was in ohio and couldn't satisfy her needs and urges. so she fucked another guy."

- joe

"joe, oh my god. you need to get out of that relationship, she's so toxic." - you

"i know. i'm really glad you're back y/n, i miss having these talks." - joe

"same. i miss talking about how terrible girls are." - you chuckled

"well not all girls are terrible, apparently just all the girls i date are." - joe

"true. but most girls suck." - you

"did you have any relationships while in louisiana?" - joe looked at you

"no. i went on like 10 dates, none of them i really clicked with. i think my standards are just too high." - you

"or men just aren't shit. i've heard guys talk in locker rooms, how they talk about women is disgusting. you have every right to have high standards." - joe

"why are you so good with words?" - you

"im really not, i just tell people the truth. but, the spaghetti is done i'll get your plate ready while you go pick a movie to watch." - joe

"okayyy" - you stood up from the barstool and walked into the living room

"joe this couch is amazing!!" - you got comfortable on the couch and grabbed to remote

"i know right?? i think i sat on every couch in the local furniture store trying to find the perfect one." - joe walked into the living room holding two plates

joe plopped down in the spot directly next to me and handed me my plate.

"10 things i hate about you?" - joe asked as he looked at the tv and saw the movie already pulled up

"yup" - you

"we've watched this together like 30 times, y/n"

- joe

"so? it's a classic joe" - you

"okay. play it." - joe sighed

(joes pov)

we watched the movie and ate our food together, it was just amazing to be in her presence.

she's makes me so happy.

i don't know if i was imagining it, but i think we kept scooting closer and closer together after i put a blanket on us because we were pressed against each other now. at the beginning of the movie we weren't touching.

i moved around to try to get comfortable and my hand brushed y/n's, immediately i felt that flutter in my stomach that gave me a confidence boost. i gently started rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb, i didn't want to just grab her hand but i also wanted to somehow show her how much i care about her.

gently she started moving her hand and i thought to myself that i had ruined the moment by trying to make somewhat of a move. but, she entertained her fingers with mine. both of stared at the tv wth wide eyes and a deep blush on our cheeks. we're holding hands right now.

i don't know what her intentions are, and to be honest i don't even know mine. it's just that today, ever since i saw her in the kitchen, i've blushed probably 20 times, i keep getting butterflies, and there's a stupid smile that won't leave my face. i don't know what i'm feeling, but it's good.. really good.

our moment was ruined when my phone started buzzing over and over again in my shorts.

"hey joey, are you gonna check who's blowing up your phone." - you whispered

"i'd rather stay like this" - joe squeezed your hand making you giggle and lay your head on his shoulder

"please answer it, it has to be important if they've texted you thirty times in a row" - you

i took my phone out of my pocket to see that i had multiple messages from ja'marr

"it's just ja'marr" - joe shrugged and started reading the messages

"ja'marr - JOE BURROW ANSWER YOUR PHONE. ONE OF MY FRIENDS SENT ME A VIDEO OF LEXIE MAKING OUT WITH ANOTHER GUY. *attachment 1 video*"

"holy shit" - joe

"what's wrong?" - you read the expression on joes face

"lexie is making out with some guy at that party right now" - joe sighed

"oh, i'm so sorry joe. she doesn't deserve you, you're an amazing guy. i say you dump her fake ass." - you

"i'm going to." - joe bit the inside of his cheek

"call her right now and just get it over with."

- you

"i knew this was going to happen.. and i had already made up my mind that i was going to break up with her.. but it still hurts like shit" - joe

"i know joe, i'm sorry" - you pulled joe into a hug

"i'm gonna get tears all over your shirt" - joe mumbled into your shoulder

"that's okay. let it all out joey" - you rubbed his back

i cried into her shoulder for awhile. she'd rub my back and play with my hair while whispering to me, telling me about how lexie didn't deserve me, and i didn't deserve how lexie treated me. at some point i pulled away and wiped my eyes, admiring y/n'a beautiful face.

"i'm so lucky to have you. you only got here this morning but i'm already so happy that you're back." - joe

"so much has happened today, lord have mercy"

- you

"well for the cherry on top of the sundae lets get this phone call over with" - joe sighed and clicked lexie's contact to call her

"joeyyyy" - lexie slurred

she was absolutely shitfaced.

"we're over lexie. i saw the video of you making out with that random guy. i deserve way better then you. have a nice life you degrading cheater. oh and just in case you're too shitfaced to remember this in the morning i'll text you the same thing i'm telling you now." - joe

"joey wai-" - lexie

"bye lexie!" - joe hung up

i dropped my phone on my lap and just stared at the floor, y/n was looking at me trying to read my expression.

"how do you feel?" - you

"relieved, like a weights been lifted off of my shoulders. but i also feel so sad. i really loved her, and she never gave me that love in return." - joe

"joe come here" - you pulled him into your arms

i laid my head on her chest as her arms stayed around me. can we always be this close?

"sorry i kinda ruined movie night" - joe

"you didn't ruin anything joe. you got out of a toxic relationship, i'm so proud of you" - you

"thank you for being here, there's no one else i'd rather be with right now." - joe

"of course. you know i'm always going to be here for you." - you

"can you stay here tonight?" - joe moved his head into your neck

"sure." - you rubbed his back

"good because i'm about to fall asleep. i have practice in the morning and it's open to the public, do you want to go?" - joe

"yes, i wanna see joe shiesty in action" - you

i chuckled as i wrapped my arms around her.

"goodnight y/n" - joe

"goodnight joe" - you smiled

30 minutes later, y/n was asleep but i wasn't. all i could think about was the girl that was in my arms. leaning up, i studied her face as a smile creeped its way onto mine.

"day one and i'm already falling for you?" - joe whispered and kissed your cheek

_________________________________

authors note: chapterrrr threeee 🤍🤍

hope you enjoyed ❤️

[theminecraftbee]

crawls in here HI SECONd im thinking about empires earth again. sorry to ur actual current interests im thinking about That bitch. anyways.

idk what exactly your headcanons are on the empires wing situation? but in my head the vast majority of them do not have wings that are just. permanently attached. idk maybe to be born with wings and not having to use the elytra (spell?) Means Something or whatever.

then lo and behold comes this pig and Philza, who Has Wings. i can only imagine there would be some flying races perhaps? i feel like fwhip would love to study the wings too, to perfect his own elytra design. man idk. i just thought abt scott eating shit during a flying race honestly and thought it was funny <3

OH WINGS okay see that’s a fun thing to think about because. okay so I think rivendell elves sometimes have wings but it’s considered very rare. people practiced in crystal cliffs styled magic can fly, and usually have wings, but the wings aren’t like, practical biological bits—gem’s crystal wings work because magic, not because of traditional sense and logic. fwhip is currently the only guy in the grimlands with wings thanks to having Mysteriously Grown Dragon Wings, but he’s DETERMINED to figure out how to replicate it, if not with magic, then with technology. i tend to headcanon sausage hand-made his own wings after the demonic stuff went down as a step of healing after being possessed using that research but in empires earth continuity man’s still possessed so f. joey also has massive parrot wings, and wings are actually decently common in the lost empire, but the lost empire’s tendency towards isolation means that joey is the only example most people have seen.

in general, those are the common sources of flight though—either you’re experienced enough with magic to find a way to pull something like gem, or you’re born with them like scott or joey. so i think phil’s wings would be… probably a bit less unusual than they were at home for him, actually, but still very unusual, especially given that elven wings tend to be owl-like and lost kingdom wings are very colorful. big giant crow wings, while a little less Weird given how much more prolific magic is in empires, are still highly unusual. definitely deeply recognizable

flight, however, is far less common than it was at home for phil. empires world has magical flight and more flighted races, but fwhip and the grimlands (and later sausage) are the only guys doing something so sacreligeous as attempt to invent mechanical flight. by contrast, on smp earth, mechanical flight is increasingly common—I’d say we’re reaching about the late 40s-early 50s as far as aviation tech there, passenger aviation is still a bit young but is starting to really take off, and planes are being used for all kinds of military applications.

so at home for phil, while he’s normally the only guy with wings, he’s hardly the only guy who’s flown.

so coming across empires? yeah I think fwhip would totally offer for a race. it’s definitely an attempt to see how, say, techno’s fighter holds up against fwhip’s cursed wings and figure out if he can work out more about the tech to steal for his own projects, but it’s also for fun. gotta see how the new guy with the wings holds up. it’s a matter of pride, you see.

phil smokes most of them. it’s impressive. and yes, scott totally eats shit trying to keep up with phil for the sake of his pride. they all laugh about it. for all the political motivations that got wrapped up in the race itself, for all the parties involved agree at least in part for intel, for all everything else going on, it’s really really fun.

it’s been a long time since phil flew against wings that weren’t metal. he suggests they make it an annual thing. fwhip, reeling and ecstatic, agrees immediately.

[bizarrescribblez]

🚫, 😖, and 💘? :3

AAAAAAA HI RUBY HIIII TYSM FOR SENDING OMGOMGOMG gonna answer these for Frank cuz he’s rattling in my brain so much lately 😭 (gives loving pats to Skwisgaar im sorry sweetums..)

🚫 - what was holding you/them back from making a move or confessing your feelings?

oh absolutely 100% his asshole nature. LITERALLY HIS BIGGEST CON EVER HE’S SUCH A DICK 😭 ofc i’d be like :3 ahahaha lalalala i can fix him/he hasn’t been too mean to me!! (he still is he just softens it up a bit and i just laugh at it/try to be snarky back) and everyone’s like mia noooooooo he’s actually an asshole JSHSJ for frank though i feel like . it’s him himself that held himself back 😭 he already fucked up with his prior job + his prior marriage/family so i think he feels as if he doesn’t deserve a second chance really. At least a second chance @ happiness/finding love again (which is why he gave up @ going back to his own family). which is kinda why he acts like a jerk/like he doesnt care about me to just push me away and hopefully i’ll move on (TOO BAD IM STUCK TO HIM LIKE A KOALA)

😖 - what moment flustered you the most?

and when i say when he had his hand on peter’s throat when he got mad at him/told him to stop freaking out- WHO SAID THAT 😂😂 ok but if this means like.. in the movie erm literally every moment with him flusters me the most but uhhhh that one scene of him drinking the vamp blood…. that and him holding joey back/moving her out of the room first when abigail first attacked them LIKE OKAY MR SECRETLY PROTECTIVE…

💘 - (if applicable) what moment made them realize they were in love with you?

DONT MAKE ME THINK ABOUT THIS - GUESS IM OOOOOGLY GOOOO ARGHGHARHHGH ARHGAHARAHAH:!:?:!:!:!:!:!:!:!. auh. but like i said in this one.. frank’s been aware of me/known me for a long while before the events of the movie (without me knowing) so i think just- FINALLY GETTING TO HEAR ME TALK TO HIM DIRECTLY. especially when i patch his hand up and look at him with wide eyes all nervous like //O_O// !! i think the fact i’m so instantly loyal to him too drove him up the wall especially after how many times he attempted to push me away by being playfully mean like NOPE IM STILL HERE (and it drives him mad!!)