#motherfucker thought i was a loli

[honeyed-disgraceful]

I want to. Log out of life. Like. I told a guy about the drummer guy that was almost forty that I dated and he went "I bet he played genshin". I'm going to die btw

[enriquemzn262]

Nagatoro could have been a decent anime if they focused more on the individual characters. In the early few episodes I kinda saw hints that the story would show how Senpai starts to recognize how toxic this relationship is and learn to stand up for himself and Nagatoro gradually come to terms with how horrible she treats him.

When you know the author of that manga used to be well known for pornographic comics about lolis sexually dominating random betamales, you understand why the manga is like that.

Manga artists are some weird motherfuckers, from the Made in Abyss guy buying little kids underwear for references, to the the Samurai X guy having so much CP authorities thought he was actually producing it.

[glitteringxchaos]

@goreburdened asked: ❝  with a smile like that,  i can’t help but want to know your secret.  what’s got you so cheery today?  ❞ (di roy @ grimmjow)

Di Roy was right to a point. Grimmjow wasn't so much cheerful as he was positively fucking gleeful, however. If only every day could be like earlier, he would be happy. Cerulean blue eyes glinted as his smile widened to a manic degree, a sharp bark of laughter escaping his lips as he thought back to just what had made his day a million times better in the span of mere seconds.

"Ya should'a fuckin' been there! Best day 'o m' fuckin' life, 'm tellin' ya. That stupid lil bitch Loly was throwin' a temper tantrum 'bout the Espada 'not showin' Lord Aizen the respect he deserves' 'r some shit, 'n Bug Brain got pissed 'n tried ta kick 'er off the fuckin' balcony....but he missed 'n she ended up trippin' the dumb motherfucker down the stairs!! It was fuckin' FANTASTIC!"

The Sexta was well known for his dislike of the other Espada - though Nnoitra easily made the top of that list. Well, not entirely true. Szayel was at the top, but only because Grimmjow thought his experiments were creepy and went out of his way to make sure that he would never end up as one of them. He didn't trust the scientist not to try something weird if he ever got close enough. Nnoitra on the other hand just annoyed him, and the fact that the other rubbed his higher rank in his face every chance he got didn't help matters. One of these days, he was going to crush that damn bug under his heel like he deserved.

[gelo-p]

Cycling Seasons, Fresh Skies: Memories

I knew from a long time ago that if I’d ever go for a T10, this would be it. When the event was finally getting closer, early estimates told me I was 900 flames short; I’d have to buy stars for this event.

(WARNING: A rather image-heavy post)

Perhaps the moment I honestly considered T10 instead of settling for T100.

Definitely the moment I knew there was no turning back. :)))

Believe me, this was not the only purchase I made for this event.

I needed a better Challenge Live team, so I knew getting a 4* Happy Ran is required, to complete my Happy Afterglow team. I’ve never gotten any 4* Ran before, so thank god the 4* Exchange Ticket had the perfect timing.

“WAIT. YOU WERE USING A HAPPY TEAM ALL THIS TIME???”

Yep. ^^ Well, my Multi Live team was Powerful Afterglow-based, but had only 2 4-stars, sooo I knew it wouldn’t cut it.

There she is <3

I’ve always stopped at Skill Level 4, but I really had to pull out all the stops. Ran is my first Skill Level 5 member. ^^ (everyone in my CL team also received the level 5 upgrade)

Alright, let’s do this! Hey Hey Hoh~!

The event has finally begun! I initially found it amusing seeing all sorts of titles being shown off. This one in particular stood out to me. XD

(Looking back, that Sinz person would later turn out to be a serious T10 contender. I think they changed their name to Pyokun after some time)

Here’s a screenshot of a rare T5 GeLö-P. I really wanted to share this with you guys, but I figured I’d jinx myself by revealing publicly what I was trying to do. :>

(I will doubt the existence of God Almighty, but believe in being jinxed. Life is weird sometimes.)

Well, that’s the Grand Room for ya’. Meta songs all the way~

How do you even react to that?

With this. :)))

NEXT YOU’LL SAY FUEEEEE

Home Street...

Home Street.......

HEY HEY HOH~! 

The moment I ran out of large energy drinks, and had to start spending stars. </3 Small energy drinks were still reserved for moments I can afford to wait out the 30-minute refill timer.

The 5 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

My first time doing the “recover waaaaay more than 10 flames” thing

Huhehe huhehe huhehe...

I too would like some of those Afterglow pins. T_T

Baby Shak my as-

Aaaand we have a dodger, ladies and gentlemen. XD

I think this guy needs to be banned.

Home Street? Pssh, that was so yesterday. Jumpin’ is the shit now.

Ganbatte, P5.

Himari~

My 2nd encounter with Ghostkillers (who later become T12..?). He chose Senbonzakura the first time, so when he did it again, I thought I’d save it for posterity. ^^

The “I too would like to live dangerously” gang 8-)

The first time I switched away from my dua T100 titles. I figured I’d stop trying to “scare” the competition.

First time tracking T10 scores. This would later prove to be very useful in seeing if my projection will hold (although I shifted to tracking T3 - T12).

Taking a break, so I watched ads for free flames. :)))))

Moca, Ran, GeLö-P, and a weird name. Huh. Okay.

Kyu~Mai * Flower was released! Played this one on Hard.

...this one I played on Expert...

...and thank fuck I got it first try, because oh boy I’m not playing that beat map again. >_<

“Ban me if you can” ?? Why??

Aaaaand this motherfucker right here was cheating and inflating his score. I personally reported him to the game admins over on twitter, and they’ve informed me that they were already aware of this idiot. Saw him just once more after this.

Yes. That’s 91 million, 798 thousand, 346.

I actually encountered them once before this, but didn’t notice anything off about their score (was already dazed at that time). And then a discussion started over at reddit, so when I met him again, I took screenshots.

Ganbatte :))

Had time for a quick hey hey hoh spam ^^

Which day was this..? Anyway I came up with my brilliant pun. Read the comment, see if you can figure it out. :3

MocaRan and YukiLisa. Sigh. I don’t think we can be friends, P5.

:)))

Told you, Ghostkillers only pick Senbonzakura XD

Tomoe’s Birthday! ^^

Even the game won’t let you have a GF, P5. XD

HEATHCLIFF STOP PICKING BABY SHARK

(almost sure they’re famous in the competitive scene... I don’t know them tho LOL)

I woke up one morning to find there was no internet.

FUCK ME

I knew mobile data was going to result to multiple disconnects, but thank fuck I had lots of challenge points to spare. I passed the time productively, and by the time I was done, internet was back. Whew.

Rank update: currently T8. ^^

More of Ghostkillers x Senbonzakura and JFC that name tho P2

Shitpost comment XD

First time seeing 2 other T10 contenders in the same room: Itsuki and Ghostkillers.

Probably the point where I started spamming Tokimeki Poporon instead of Home Street.

Also there’s a looot of interesting names in Bandori.

As a YukiRan / MocaLisa shipper (well more of SayoLisa nowadays), it is my job to destroy players 1, 3, and 5. >:(

Wallet: IT’S NOT POSSIBLE

Me: NO, IT’S NECESSARY

...aaaaaand I immediately threw away 10k stars hoping for Megane Ran, but got shit. (This would later force me to make 2 more purchases XD Seriously though, I could have saved a lot of money with a better star purchase plan)

I got Loli Rinko tho. <3

Which day was this...? I think this was the moment I knew Ghostkillers has given up. I was laughing my ass off reading the comments. I think everyone of us was half-dead at this point. XD

And so we’re down to the final 11.

I’ve started considering the possibility at this point that I might be the final one to bow out.

OMG I CAN’T SEE PLAYER 2

BUSHIDO~!

I was feeling the despair at this point, and thus started singing Komm Susser Tod

I do mini-sprints in the morning, so I’m T6 here. I usually fall back down to ~T9 in the afternoon.

I usually level up once per event. I started this event from Rank 193. :)))

(well it was technically 192, but I was like 2 games away from leveling up)

XD

There are no experts in this room :v

Jumpin = NO FEVER, but picks meta song anyway. Okay. :v

Hey! All Random!

Game: DID SOMEONE ASK FOR A META SONG

I have a lot of friend requests at this point (probably from people seeing me on the T10 list), but I don’t have enough space to accept them all :((

Bread-themed profile!

Poppin’ Party, Puff n’ Pastry... get it?

Itsuki started spamming BOF at this point.

Doki doki~

HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME~ ♪ ♫

P1 is an IRL friend :))) I’d later tease her about how slow she is picking songs LOL

Some Initial D reference for overtaking :P Of course I was badly falling behind at this point (T9 is hella dangerous), but I had no choice but to continue to believe in the math (and that early overtaking is a bad choice).

“Early moves lets your opponents recover from mental shock.” - Ryosuke Takahashi, Initial D 3rd Stage

No seriously, that’s exactly what I was thinking of. And also “Not yet, not yet, now” from Ford v Ferrari.

P1 & P5 get married already...

FINAL NIGHT.

I’m down to T11, and everybody else already did 2.3M-sprints some hours earlier, and have considerably slowed down.

I, on the other, was about to go to sleep. Yes, I, the current T11, was about to let the others pull away. All I could do was believe in the Math at that point, because let me tell you-

I had 105k challenge points left. That’s 3.4M event points I had yet to sprint.

This was during the final morning, 9 hours before event ended. When I woke up that morning, my heart was pounding like crazy. What if everybody has pulled ahead?

When I finally checked, most of the T10′s were still in the 17M-range. Itsuki was on T10, and he was only 500k away. I knew at that point that my chances were pretty good; however, I shut up about it, set my comment to “Now Playing: Running in the 90′s”, and got to work.

There was nothing else I could to but consume all the CP I had left. No more tracking. A literal 5-hour non-stop sprint to 19.2M points. If they can still catch up even after they’ve already expended their CP yesterday, then maybe I don’t deserve this T10 after all.

All I need to do was beat one of them. It was me or them.

Holy shi-

I wasn’t out of the woods yet, had to make sure at least one of them didn’t overtake me. Of course that was more up to them, since I didn’t have any strength left (my thumb stopped working at that point, no seriously, it’s still not working properly even today). I also didn’t have any significant stars left.

I managed to sneak in a few songs, but that was it. I was done. The others managed to close the gap, but I stayed in T6.

And then the event was over.

I fucking did it.

------

I would later learn that this was the bloodiest (Challenge Live) event in the history of ENdori. In one redditor’s words, I “ ...sure picked a hell of a time to go for it.”

I had no choice. This is Megane Ran we’re talking about. <3

I had some idea tbh, because I managed to read a tweet in the middle of the event, that “this was one lit T10″. Apparently we were on track to beat the previous record-holder, which was Sayo’s Umbrella event.

I’m... really glad to have been part of this event. I feel so darn proud of myself. >:3

But I couldn’t have done it without the help of the Grand Room. Seriously, I only played in the Grand Room.

Remember this?

I don’t have (competitive) friends. :))) So thank you, all. *bow*

I’d like to thank IRL-friend otearaisu over at twitter for putting up with my excessive score projection updates. XD I have a really detailed excel sheet to check if I was on track or not, and whenever there were developments, I’d always tell him about it, even in the dead of the night. XD

------

Would I ever do this again? Probably not. This was the only event that I knew I really wanted to go for, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Maybe I’ll get a couple of T100′s in the future, but that’s it. ^^

See you in the lobby~

[kiddoryder]

Kidnapping an Angel

Blitz and Sophie McNight and Ryan O’Grady belong to @loli-momo1908

 Inside of Hell, there was a demon who have pale green skin, reddish brown hair, red eyes with iris, wearing dark green coat with slightly pale pine green pants and a shirt under his coat and having a tail with spikes and an axe blade on the end of his tail. He was known as Ryan O’Grady aka the Evil Eye Killer. He  was the one who murdered Blitz and Sophie’s parents 4 years ago. Right now he was at an abandoned factory trying to think of a plan to get revenge on his arch enemy’s son.

 Ryan – “There’s gotta be something or somebody that I can use! I could use his baby sister…But that’s too obvious. Besides, what’s so bad about saving the best for last? Hmm...”

Ryan began to past back and forth until he stepped on a piece of paper. He picked it up and saw that it was an old newspaper clipping of the Happy Hotel.

Ryan – “I know this…I seen it on the TV with that stupid bitch of a Princess advertise.”

Ryan looks at the back of the paper and saw a phone number and it was Angel Dust’s phone number. At first, Ryan looked disgusted but then remembered who he is.

Ryan – “I see that drag queen bastard with Blitz before…*realized something* I got an idea! *laughs*

()()()()()()()()()()()

Right now at the Hotel, everybody was just relaxing and doing their own thing. Then a letter slipped under the door and Charlie’s youngest cousin Sonya noticed it and picked it up. Sonya saw that it said, “To Blitz” and said:

Sonya – “Blitz you got a letter.”

Blitz – “Really? Let me see.”

Blitz took the letter and opened it. The note said:

“Hey kid. It’s been four years since we last seen each other with your parents that night ain’t it? Guess what? I’m going to take away the most treasured person you loved most. I’ll be so looking forward on seeing you watch helplessly as I tortured your loved one then, I’ll be killing you…See you soon kid.

Signed

The Evil Eye Killer

Blitz’s eyes widen in horror and had a frozen look on his face. Even his hands were shaking in fear. This makes Charlie and the others look at Blitz in concern.

Charlie - *concern* “Blitz, are you okay?”

Angel –“Yeah it looks like you saw something horrible.”

Blitz even began to pant a bit before he ran off saying “Sophie!” making Charlie and the others shock.

Charlie – “Wait Blitz! What’s wrong?”

Blitz - *stopped and turn to Charlie and the others* “I have to keep her safe! That monster is coming to get her!”

Vaggie - *confused* “What? What are you talking about?”

Blitz – “Look, I can’t talk right now! I gotta get  Sophie and be sure HE doesn’t kidnap her!”

Blitz ran upstairs and quickly opened the door to his sister’s room. Luckily for him, he saw that Sophie was napping in her bed much to Blitz’s relief. He pulled up a chair and sat by her side. Charlie and the others witness this and feel confused and concern for Blitz.

Angel – “Well that was weird.”

Then Angel felt  vibrating noise and check his phone and it said: “Hey Hot-stuff! I wanna have a fun time with you today. Meet me at 325 Devil Street. Don’t be late!”

Angel – “Oh look like work is calling me. Be right back!”

           Before anybody can protest, Angel already left the hotel. However what he didn’t know is that a shadow of a certain serial killer was watching over Angel and grinned evilly with his wicked plan had already began. Angel made it to 325 Devil Street and looked for whoever texted him for his “services”. 5 minutes had past, and Angel decided to get some drugs at the vending machine since he was getting bored. When his usual cocaine bag came out there was also a note next to the bag of cocaine.

Angel - *confused* “Huh? What the?”

Angel took the note in one hand, and the drug in his other hands. He opened the note and he read it:

Angel - *reading it* “Since you are the one, he loves, you will die tonight. *confused*  What the hell do that even means?”            

           Just then, all of a sudden, one arm held Angel from behind as the other hand with a handkerchief containing a knock out drug covered Angel’s mouth. Angel tried to struggle free but with the drug began to take effect, Angel began to woozy and was knocked unconscious by the drug and fell limp in the arms of arms of Ryan O’Grady! Ryan grinned evilly as he got his victim and he slunged Angel over his shoulder to carry him away for his plan.

Ryan - *laughs evilly* “Phase 1 complete. Now phase 2.”

()()()()()()()()()()

           Angel was starting to wake up but still a little woozy. But he noticed that he was in some abandon factory and was actually tied to a pole. He tried to speak but it just turned out muffled and saw in a puddle that there was duct tape on his mouth. Angel was then greeted by a punch in the face by Ryan. Angel’s eyes widen in shock on who kidnapped him, and the murderer Blitz was talking about.

Ryan – “Well looks who is awake. By the look on your face I can your so call ‘lover” have already told you about me, like how I murdered his and his dear sister parents? Well guess what? I love every second of doing it!”

Angel had an angry and horrified look in his eyes. He can see how evil and sick Ryan can be and see he’s not the type of guy to be messing with.

Ryan – “You wonder why I kidnapped you? Well you see, I thought kidnapping his baby sister was a bit too obvious and too easy. So I figured why not kidnapped the person he’s in love with? The answer was you because it was pretty obvious on how you two are close. Which is disgusting. Kidnapping and killing you will be fun but seeing the look on Blitz’s face seeing your dead body and too depressed to even live will be even more fun.”

Angel had an angry look on his face but then muffled shouted in pain when Ryan gave him a hard punch in the stomach.

Ryan - *threating*  “And I suggested that you stay tied and don’t move and be the good little slut puppy you are, or else things will end up deadly! And word of advice, don’t leave your phone number at random places.”

Angel eyes widen: Ryan was the one who sent him that text and the one who knocked him out. When Ryan left, Angel looked around and tried to find anything that can help him escape or send a message to Blitz for help. Luckily for him, he happened to find a sharp piece of glass that wasn’t that far away from him. Thanks to his long legs, Angel managed to step on the glass and bring it closer to him. He uses his foot to flip the glass in the air, and he caught it with one of his hands. He began to use the glass to cut the rope and then he was free and even remove the duct tape from his mouth. Angel saw the doors and began to run toward it, but then he was shot on the back and he fell on the ground with a burnt mark on his back. He looked and saw Ryan with his gun.

Ryan – “Tsk tsk. You just had to follow just one simple rule. Too bad that I would have to end you now.”

Angel - *wincing as he was getting up* “I like to see you try motherfucker! How about we fight mano y mano?”

Ryan – “Wow. That’s coming big from Blitz’s boyfriend. But I supposed beating you down will be even more fun.”

Angel growled and ran to punched Ryan, but Ryan grabbed Angel’s wrist and simply threw him on the ground. Angel got up and tried again but this time, Ryan gave him a hard punch in the face that made Angel go against a crate of boxes. Angel stood up and looked angrily at Ryan who was doing a smirk at him.

Angel – “You called that a punch? My father punched harder than that!”

Ryan - *laughs and rubbing his knuckles* “You should’ve just cooperated with my plan tried to escape or stupidly tried to fight me, you wouldn’t be in a physical mess. I know that pathetic rat with wings love you deep down and it’s a shame he wouldn’t have a chance to tell you that, when I’m through with him, then you, and then, his baby sister who is weak and pathetic like her brother.”

Angel - *angrily* “Why you bastard!”

           Angel ran and actually managed to punch Ryan in the face which did knocked him down a little. Ryan was shocked because only strong demons like Blitz, can actually land a punch on him. No demon like Angel ever had the strength to actually physically harm Ryan.

Angel – “You’re just jealous because Blitz is more of a man then you will ever be! You may lie to yourself that you are better than Blitz, or Sophie or even their parents. But I know the truth about you: the truth about you is that you are nothing but a fucking coward!”

Ryan - *glaring angrily as he got up* “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

           Ryan ran toward at Angel and slapped him hard on the right side of his face, which made him fall on the ground. Then Ryan kicked Angel on the stomach hard as he watched Angel rolled over towards another crate of boxes. Then he walked over and knelt down as he roughly placed his hand on Angel’s head to keep him pinned down while apprehending his four arms. Angel was wincing in pain even when Ryan was digging his nails into Angel’s skin, but he didn’t want Ryan to hear it, so he stopped.

Ryan – “You don’t know anything about me or what their father did to me, when I was alive years ago….And once your precious hero comes to the rescue, I’ll be making you watch as I slaughter the fucking life out of him! *grins evilly* and then, after that, I’d be happy to have you join him in a merciless death.”

Angel – “The real tortured is that a coward will be the one who will kill me! The most fun I’ll have is watching Blitz beating the living crap of you cause that what you are too! A piece of crap!”

Ryan – “I wouldn’t get too cocky, you little shit!”

He lifted Angel up by the bow tie, and threw him across the factory, seeing him crashed yet again into another crate of boxes that shattered into pieces. Ryan walked toward him.

Ryan – “Tell me, if I were a coward, how come that little runt with wings ran away from me with his sister 4 years ago? Ohh, that’s right. He’s been hiding like a sick scared bitch all this time after he saw me put an end on his dear parents. Does that make him a “man” by cowering in the shadows all this time? He’s a poor weakling sap, just like you are.”

Angel weakly got up and wince in pain and saw that his first left arm was broken. He was in a lot of pain and beside the broken arm, Angel can feel and see he got a lot of cuts and bruises on him. Even his clothes, bow tie, and gloves had some holes and torn apart. However, despite being in pain, Angel refuses to give up and let Ryan talk bad or hurt Blitz.

Angel – “You shut up about him! You’re a hypocrite too! If you are so tough, then why aren’t you fighting him now? Ohh, that’s right, you are basically using me as a shield! Plus killing his parents four years ago prove that you are a poor weakling sap because you were too afraid to fight back! At least Blitz is a braver guy then you are!”

Ryan was getting angry again that he was being mocked and talked back to by a demon like Angel Dust. He could have killed him quickly with gun like he originally planned, but then thought: why not beat Angel into a bloody pulp? It would be much for fun and seeing Blitz’s reaction, Blitz would be too depressed to even fight back and easier for Ryan to kill him. Then Ryan kicked Angel on the stomach, which made him fell on the ground again.

Ryan – “You’re an arrogant fool. No wonder why your daddy never loved you at all. At any time when the son of my arch enemy arrives to the rescue, it’ll be the last time you’ll be seeing him alive. Why don’t we have more fun huh? Let even make this fight a challenge.”

Ryan then puts a blindfold and muzzled on Angel and continued to beat him up. But Angel continued to fight back despite being in horrible pain. He doesn’t want to let Blitz down.

()()()()()()()()()()()

           Back at the hotel, Blitz, Charlie, Vaggie and Sonya was getting ready to protect Sophie. Blitz and Charlie got their powers ready, Vaggie got her knifes, and Sonya got out her spell books.

Charlie – “Ok so Vaggie got the weapons out, Me and you got our powers, and Sonya got her books ready for the most powerful spells she knows.”

Sonya – “I even got the big guns ready!”

Sonya pointed to Liz in shadow form who did a slasher smile.

Vaggie – “So, in case that bastard even dares to take one step into the hotel, we’ll be ready for him.”

Blitz – “Thank you guys so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate your help.”

Charlie – “Well of course Blitz we are your friends. We will do anything to protect you.”

Sophie – “Big Brother, what’s going on?”

They turned around and saw Sophie who awoken from her nap. She was holding her stuffed dog in one  hand and rubbing her eyes with the other hand. Wanting to tell his baby sister the truth, Blitz kneeled down to Sophie’s height level and said:

Blitz – “Sophie listen to me, there’s a monster out there and he’s planning to take you away from me. But don’t worry, me, Charlie and the others are going to keep you safe at all cost. We won’t let anything happen to you. We promise.”

Sophie – “Oh thank you Blitz!”

Sophie hugged Blitz knowing that her big brother and their friends will protect her. However, Sonya noticed another letter slipped through the door. Sonya picked it up and it had Blitz’s name on it.

Sonya – “Blitz you got another letter.”

Blitz – “What? Another one?”

Blitz took the letter from Sonya and began to read it:

“Hey there kid. Guess what? I’ve just caught the one you truly love, and it isn’t your sister. If you want to see your dear friend alive, meet me at the abandon factory at 652 Vile Street You better show up alone or else he dies, and you will be next. See you then.”

Signed

The Evil Eye Killer

           At first, Blitz had a confused look on his face.

Blitz - *confused* “Truly love? What the hell is he-“

Blitz eyes began to widen in shock and horror. He realized who Ryan was referring to.

Blitz – “Oh God no…”

Vaggie - *concerned* “What? What does it say?”

Blitz – ‘….That son of a bitch kidnapped Angel!”

All – “WHAT?!”

Vaggie – “As much as I get annoyed by that slutty asshole Angel, even I would never want anything bad like this happened to him.”

Sophie – *worried and sad* “What are we going to do?”

Charlie – *worried* “How are we going to get him back!?”

Blitz looked at the letter as he soon thought with his eyes closed for a moment. As dangerous and risky it’s going to be, he won’t stand by and let Ryan kill the one person he truly loves that isn’t his sister. He stared at his friends with a serious glare on his face.

Blitz – *seriously* “The letter said I have to go alone, then that’s what I have to do for Angel.”  

Charlie - *worried* “Blitz are you sure? I mean we go with you to save Angel.”

Sonya – “You heard what the letter said cousin Charlie we can’t! If we do, he will kill Angel and Blitz.”

Blitz – “Sonya is right Charlie, if any of you follow me, Ryan will kill Angel. And I can’t risk that. Stay and watch over Sophie for me.”

Blitz began to walk off towards the door. Then Sophie said with a sad and worried look on her face.

Sophie – “You will come back with Angel…right?”

Blitz halted before he looked back at Sophie with an assuring smile on his face.

Blitz – “Don’t worry kiddo. We will be back in one piece, I promise.”

Blitz gave his baby sister a hug and then he exists the hotel. He took a few steps and opened his wings and flew off to meet with his arch enemy at the abandon factory to rescue Angel Dust.

()()()()()()()()()

           At the abandon factory, Angel Dust was now on the ground in terrible pain. He had more cuts, and bruises on his body. Sadly, he wasn’t strong enough to fight Ryan and it was tough to see with the blindfold and muzzle on him. Angel did try to sit up but was punched in the face by Ryan again.

Ryan - *glaring at him with arms crossed* “Did I tell you to get back, up bitch? Honestly, if you hadn’t tried to fight me or escape the moment you woke up, I wouldn’t have hurt you. Although, you do have the guts to keep on fighting me and get a few hits here and there. So I can respect that.”

           Angel weakly got up and ran toward him despite being blindfolded. Ryan simply grabbed his face and slammed him down on the  ground hard.

Ryan – “Unless you want me to kill you now, ya better stop fighting your worthless piece of crap!”

           Angel just mumbled a “fuck you!” which made Ryan angry and he slammed Angel’s head on the ground three times hard. Then he took out the gun in his pocket and aimed it at Angel’s head.

Ryan - *sighs* “No matter anyways, caused whether your precious “boyfriend” comes for you or not, I can’t wait to see the looks on his pitiful face, when he sees you lying dead. Then, I’ll have him join you shortly.”

Angel tried to fight back but was too much in pain. Even with the blindfold, he felt like he was going to pass out. Before Ryan can pulled the trigger, there was a loud crashed into the factory. Blitz had burst through the window.

Ryan - *shocked* “What?!”

Blitz flew forward with amazing speed with his fist reeled back as it flared in a blue magical glow and then, slammed a powerful punch at the serial killer’s face that sent him flying and crashed onto a couple of crate boxes, saving Angel just in time. Blitz landed carefully on his feet and his eyes widen and gasps in horror seeing Angel badly hurt, muzzled, and blindfolded. Blitz took off the muzzle and blindfold and Angel’s eyes were closed and wasn’t moving. At all. Blitz knelt down and carefully lifted Angel’s into his arms. Blitz didn’t even care that Angel’s blood was staining his arms and shirt.

Blitz - *worried and concerned* “Angel? Angel are you alright?! Answer me!”

But not one sound was coming out Angel’s mouth. Not even a moan. This made Blitz even more worried and tried to wake Angel up by gently patting his cheek. But no sound out of Angel. Then blitz began to shake Angel to get him to wake up.

Blitz – “Come on Angel, wake up! Angel look at me please!”

           Blitz stopped shaking Angel awake seeing that it wasn’t working. Blitz began panting but he tried to keep himself calm. However, some tears are starting to form in his eyes as he held Angel in his arms.

Blitz – “Don’t you dare die on me, you fucking slut! Do you hear me!? *panting* Come on man. You gotta wake up…I’ll never forgive myself if I lose you man…You may be a pain the ass at times, but I…I really need you in my life in Hell, okay? I’ll even miss you calling me…*he bites his lips for a second before he took a deep breath and said something he hates* “Blitzy-Que”…Please….Just don’t die on me.”

Blitz held Angel’s body closer to him as he rested his head on Angel’s shoulder carefully. He let a few tears drop on the ground and on Angel’s shoulder. Then he heard coughing and weak laughter.

Angel - *weakly* “Heh…I knew…You love…That nickname…Blitz Que…*coughs*”

           Blitz opened his eyes wide and looked to see Angel was awake with his eyes half closed and was weakly smiling. Tears of joy fell on Blitz’s face.

Blitz - *ecstatic* “Angel!? Oh, thank God that you’re alive!!”

           Blitz carefully hugged Angel due to the many injuries he has. Angel use his second pair of arms to weakly hug Blitz back.

“How Sentimental….”

           After hearing that voice, Blitz and Angel turned and saw Ryan coming out from the pile of shattered crate boxes. He had blood coming from the right side of his lip when he was punched and drew his gun out, pointing at both of them.

Ryan – “To bad I gotta put an end of this and you both.”

           Ryan began to shoot his gun at the boys. Blitz carried Angel in his arms and began to fly while avoiding the bullets from Ryan’s guns. He was trying to figure out a way to get away from the psychopathic killer and get to safety with Angel.

Angel – Blitz I…Can’t believe….You would…Save my ass…*coughs*

Blitz – “Hey, I always come and get you out of trouble.”

           Blitz then noticed a weak of the support beam of the building. This gave Blitz an idea.

Blitz – “Hang on!”

           With speed of flight, Blitz made his right foot flared in blue magical glow and twirled around fast and deliverers a powerful kick at the support beam’s weak point. The magical powerful kick caused the beam to break in half and causing the abandoned factory to start collapsing. Blitz managed to fly out of there with Angel in his arms but as for Ryan, he tried to find his way out and escape until the top of the building collapsed and started to fall towards.

Ryan - *eyes widen* “OH SHIT!”

           Outside of the abandon factory, Blitz flew out of its distance with Angel in his arms. They both saw the abandon factory with collapsed with Ryan still inside. Blitz sigh in relief that he managed to recuse Angel.

Angel - *weakly* “Mmm…Thank you…Blitzy Que.”

           Angel then passed out from the pain and injuries he has. His body felt limp in Blitz’s hands much to his concerned.

Blitz – “Aw shit...Hang on Angel, you’re going to help right now!”

           Blitz began to fly in the sky fast to get to the hospital for Angel to get recovered. Less than 10 minutes, he saw Hell’s Hospital and quickly flew down and kicked the front door opened ran toward the front the front desk carrying an unconscious Angel Dust in his arms. He told the front desk who was looking uninterested and painting her nails.

Blitz – “Where’s the doctor!? I need them now!”

Front Desk Clerk - *bored* “Look you can’t just come in here and demand something! I’m busy doing my nails and-“

Blitz - *grabbed her by the shirt* “I don’t give a shit about your nails! He’s badly hurt, and you better get the doctor or else I’m killing everybody in this crap hole!”

Clerk - *scared* “Y-Yes sir!”

The clerk pressed a button and a doctor came out. First, he only saw Blitz and looked annoyed.

Doctor – “Clerk you know I only take in worthy demons-“

However Blitz turned around, and the doctor saw he has an injured and unconscious Angel in his arms. The doctor gasps in shock.

Doctor – “Hey that’s the mobster and porn star Angel Dust!”

Blitz – “Yes! He’s badly hurt! Help him now!”

Doctor – “Alright! You’re lucky Angel is an important figure in Hell. I only help those that I think they are worthy.”

           The doctor pressed a button on the wall and two nurses came out with a stretcher. Blitz gently put Angel down and they began to wheel him. Angel weakly opened his eyes halfway and the doctor put an oxygen mask on face. Angel closed his eyes again, and opened them seeing that he was still on the stretcher but saw that Blitz was there holding his hand saying:

Blitz - *tears coming down his face* “Angel…You’re going to be okay...You better not die! You hear me!”

Angel – “Mmm…Blitzy…”

           Angel lost consciousness again and it made Blitz more worried. Then Blitz stopped when one of the doctors block his way and the rest of them kept wheeled Angel into the hall.

Blitz – “Get out of my way! I need him!”

Doctor 2 – “Sorry but rules are rules. Beside they are wheeling him to the operation room.”

Blitz - *shocked* “Operation room?”

Doctor 2 – “Have you seen the injuries he has? He will need surgery, so he won’t die. Again. We will make sure to keep you in tact on what is happening.”

Blitz - *sighs* “Fine…”

Blitz went to the waiting room area and sat down one of the chairs. He saw the phone and wanted to call Charlie to let her know where is and Angel’s current condition. Before he began to dial, he saw one of the doctors holding Angel’s clothes and was about to throw it out in a trash can. Blitz quickly pinned the doctor to the wall.

Blitz - *mad* “What do you think you are doing?”

Doctor 3 - *scared* “Oh u-um we usually throw patients clothes either before or after surgery. Or if we just feel like it.”

Blitz – “Those are Angel’s clothes and don’t belong there! Give me his clothes.”

Doctor 3 - *scared* “B-but-“

Blitz - *threatingly* “I said give me. The. Clothes. Now!”

The doctor did what he was told and gave Angel’s clothes to Blitz and left to the surgery room. Blitz sat back down and sadly looked at Angel’s clothes. It was torn, had holes and stained with Angel’s blood. Not wanting to think of Angel not surviving the operation, he picked the phone to call the hotel.

()()()()()()()()()()()

           At the hotel, Charlie and the others were worried about Blitz and Angel’s since half an hour had passed. Then the phone began to ring, and Charlie quickly picked it up.

Charlie – “Hello Blitz? You found him! He’s what…Oh no…We will be right there! *hangs up* Guys we gotta go to the hospital now!”

Vaggie – “Why, what happened!?’

Sophie – “Did Blitz get Angel back?”

Sonya – “Are they both okay?”

Charlie – “Blitz is okay, but Angel is badly hurt!”

Vaggie - *shocked* “What!? We gotta go to the hospital now!””

           And so, Charlie and the girls exist the hotel as they ran into the limo, gotten inside of it, and then they drove off straight to the hospital. Then they made it at the hospital and saw Blitz in the waiting room era looking scared and sad at the same time.

Charlie – “Blitz! Where’s Angel Dust? Is he ok?”

Blitz - *sighs* “The doctor said that they’re taking care of his injuries now in the operation room, but…I just hope he’s okay…*placed his hands on his head, lowered his head and growl in frustration* UGH!! Damn it! Why….Why is this happening?! I should’ve come sooner and stop that bastard from hurting him….This is all my fault….”

The girls felt bad for Blitz seeing him so upset. Vaggie sat down next to him and:

Vaggie – “Hey, hey, listen to me Blitz, none of this is your fault. It’s that Evil Eye Killer’s fault. He was the one who planned this.”

Sonya – “Yeah I mean he’s the one who hurt Angel, not you.”

Charlie – “Even though Angel did come out hurt, you still managed to save him and that what matters.”

Sophie – “Yeah Blitz you are a hero!”

Blitz lifted his head up to the girls smiling after realizing that they are right.

Blitz – “Thank you guys...”

           Just then an hour or two later, one of the doctors came over to blitz and his friends to the waiting room area. He told them the good news about Angel is going to be okay and survived the surgery. The doctors managed to stop all the bleeding and use some medicines (even some drugs) to help him heal. However, Angel was still unconscious, and Blitz and the others decided to stay in his hospital room until he woke up

()()()()()()()()()

“Look…He’s awaking up!”

“Oh thank God he’s okay!”

“He’s…still alive!”

           Angel’s eyes slowly opened and the ringing he was hearing stop. His vision was blurry, so he blinks a few times to clear his vision. He saw that he was in the hospital room, in a hospital bed, bandaged up and wearing a cast for his broken arm. He even had two IV bags: one was medicine and the other was pink blood mix with cocaine for him. Angel saw Charlie, and the girls in his hospital room but Blitz wasn’t there.

Charlie - *gently* “Hey Angel, how are you feeling?”

Angel – “Tired but getting better. Where is-“

That’s when Blitz opened the door and saw Blitz with a can of soda in his hands. Blitz looked up to see Angel awake.

Blitz – “Angel you’re awake!”

Angel – “Blitz!”

Angel stood up in his hospital bed as an attempt to walk to Blitz. However thanks to his injuries, it prevented him from doing so and just cause more pain.

Angel – *in pain* “Ow! Ow!”

Blitz – *concerned* “Whoa take it easy Angel! You just woke up.”

Blitz gently push Angel down on his hospital bed and covered him with the blanket more to keep him comfortable.

Angel - *rubbing his head* “How long was I out?”

Sonya – “For a few hours.”

Vaggie – “Angel you son a bitch. You have no idea how worried and scared we were about what happened to you. It even scared me.”

Angel – “Eh what can I say babe. I’m loveable.”

Sonya – “Yeah you can tell he’s back to old self again.”

Sophie walked up to Angel and tip toped to the bed’s level. She gave him a piece of paper with a cute drawing of herself, Charlie, Vaggie, Sonya, Blitz and Angel holding hands and it even said, “Get well, Angel”.

Sophie – “I made a get well drawing for you.”

Angel - *smiling* “Aw…Thanks Sophie it’s really cute.”

Sophie smiled and giggled a bit. Blitz walked over to Angel slowly and sat down on the chair next to the bed.

Blitz – “So…um…How your arm?”

Angel – “It’s okay. It mostly I would have to wear this cast for 6 weeks.”

Blitz – “Six weeks huh? *rubbed the back of his own neck* Well…at least you’ll be better by then. And you will be leaving the hospital in a few days.”

Angel – “Yeah…I mean this isn’t my first time in a hospital and had a broken arm. Then again…I never fought a bastard like Ryan. I managed to get a few punches here and there, but he was too strong. To be honest…I was scared that I was gonna die.”

Blitz- “Yeah, he really was strong and brutal from the looks from all the injures he gave you…But all that matters is you’re safe now and that bastard won’t come near you, my sister, or anybody else while I’m around and that’s a promise I’m willing to keep. Now I know there’s more than just Sophie that I need to look after and care about. I mean you guys are important to me and Sophie.”

Angel – “Aww thank you Blitzy-Que. *smirking* you know, it would have been cute if you dressed up as a nurse to take care of me. Then I would have called you Nurse Blitzy-Que!”

Blitz then had an angry/annoyed look on his face and his left eye twitched a bit at the “Nurse Blitzy-Que” comment. But he knew he had to keep his inner feeling of punching Angel in the head due to him being badly hurt.

Blitz – “Mmm…! You’re lucky you’re getting a long rest to recover because I would’ve hurt you right now.”

Angel – *chuckled* “But seriously thank you for saving me. I was honestly surprised that you would”

Blitz –*softly smirks* “And I’ll do it again if anything like that happens once more. Besides, I would never, ever leave you hanging like that.”

Angel - *smiles* “Thank you. Ummm…Do you mind staying with me until I get better?”

Blitz – “Of course I will. Besides, I trust Charlie and the others to take care of Sophie for a few days.”

Charlie – “We will take good care of her. And will visit you Angel.”

Angel smiled and did a yawn.

Angel – “I don’t know what kind of drugs they put in me, but it is making me tired.”

Blitz – “Blitz good, because resting is an important part of recovery.”

Vaggie – “Maybe we should leave these two alone. We will see you in the hotel in a few days.”

Sophie – “See you tomorrow!”

Sophie gave her brother a hug and left with the girls to go back home. Then Angel fell asleep while Blitz went to the bathroom. Blitz went back to the room and Angel was still asleep. Blitz slowly walked up to Angel and couldn’t believe the injures he got: his head was wrapped in gauze bandage since he has a concussion, his first left arm was broken and put in a cast, the rest of his arms and cut up and bruises so they were wrapped in bandages. Angel got a bandaged on his cheek, his chest and ribs were bruised so that was wrapped up as well, and his legs was cut up and bruised so it was also bandages up.

Blitz gently put his hand over’s Angel’s hand another hand on Angel’s cheek. He was being careful that he didn’t touch any of Angel’s injures and didn’t want to wake him up. It was hard to believe that a tough demon Angel, and badly hurt and now in the hospital to recover. Even some of the cuts was bad to the point that Angel needed stitches. Blitz held back the tears because the most important thing was Angel was alive and was safe.

Blitz – “Don’t worry Angel…I’ll make sure to keep you safe from that Evil Eye Bastard. That a promise I’m keeping for sure.”

Blitz make sure no one was looking especially in the hallway. He gently kissed Angel on the lips.

Blitz – *whispers* “Recover soon Angel.”

Blitz sat down on the chair and began to take a nap too and stood by Angel’s side as he requested. Now have a new mission: Protecting his new family from Ryan and making sure he keeps his promise to protect them.

[cherry-slushie-cosplay-blog]

Freshman Year Quotes

Ok so I did a list of all the stupid shit I heard in my Freshman year of high school. Enjoy.

(T) - Teacher (AP) - Freshman Assistant Principal

FRESHMAN YEAR ----

"Any weeb brethren, see me after class I want to be friends." *class is totally silent* "*loudly* I have a seven inch penis." "I'm a farmer bitch I will throw my crops at you." "You can teach tiny cil- chilr- chilud- chiluden, wait what?" "I'm telling Jesus!" "Jesus already knows." "(T) Use your 5 sols! Haha, get it? Like soul?" "Bold of you to assume I have any at all." "HE CALLED ME THE N-WORD, HE CALLED- oh shit you're a girl my bad I'm just messing around trying to get someone in trouble. Have a nice weekend!" "Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht...FUCK!" "How do you make an equilateral square?" "I think my back has scoliosis." "I've got a bag of chicken." "Why do you have a bag of chicken?" "Because. Why do you have a bottle with mangos on it?" "This- this is mango-flavored tea!" "AND THIS IS CHICKEN-FLAVORED BAG" "...and some condoms have spermicide which kills off the sperm. Don't ask me how I know all that, Mrs. ********." "Are you from Russian?" "Sit your ADHD-filled ass down." "If we were in hell, do you really think I would be here?" "(T) Yes." (T) "Is stupid written on your forehead?" "I don't know, is it written on yours?" "His forehead's big enough for it." "That looks like an orgy pile over there." "Why do you guys always sit behind me?" "If we want to kill you, you won't see it coming." "Is this what Julius Caesar felt like?" "You're so tiny! You look like a doll!" "And you look like a cock-riding motherfucker." " Technically, time is a construct." "Technically, none of this matters and we're all gonna die soon." "Will you two shut up please?" (T) "My 2019 has been completed, I made a student cry." (This was January 10th btw) (T) "As long as you do your best and turn that in, you'll be fine." "What if my best sucks and I get a bad grade?" "Ok that was good I'm gonna give you that." "I'm gonna put on black lipstick and go to sleep." *Aggressively singing Dream Daddy For Me* "What's that?" "A grapefruit." "Bitch that ain't a grape." "No, grapeFRUIT." "It looks like you put Kool Aid in an orange." "Dude it's called a grapefruit." "No, fuck you and your Kool Aid orange." "I ate a mouse dongle." "Why the fuck would you do that?" "I don't know, I just did." "Racism is my bitch. I bend racism over and take it from behind." "A function is an input and a function...oh wait hold on I messed up- stop laughing at me I got this." "James Charles did one of Bob Ross's tutorials on his forehead." "So he has a big forehead-" "Shut the hell up ***** no one cares." "The answer was D! D as in 'Dinosaur chicken nuggets'!" (T) "What are the first ten amendments?" "I know the ten COMMANDments." "No one cares, we're not in Christian school." "YES WE ARE HAIL MARY" (T) "Do your work or the Lord may strike you." *this was at the religious girl from the previous quote* "What time is it?" "It's fuckin uhhhhh noon o 5." "Noon o 5?" "I forgot the word twelve." "I SEE HEADLIGHTS" "Hm?" "Headlights is nipples." "If this is a test I'm gonna throw myself out the window. I was about to go to the hospital this weekend and I'm still gonna make it happen." "I won't T-Pose for dominance but I will screech and make your eardrums bleed." "Does anyone remember Llamas With Hats?" 4 people: "caAAARRLLLLL" "Pagans terrify me." "Why?" "Every pagan I know of is a furry." "sKeDaDdLe SkAdOoDlE yOuR dIcK iS nOw A nOoDlE" "NO NOT IN MATH CLASS" "Doodlebops." "shUT THE FUCK UP" "I watched that yesterday, I have it on DVD." "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE DOODLEBOPS ON DVD" (T) *random Chewbacca noise* "My brain is smaller than my dick." "If you feel stupid, you should." "What about King Solomon?" (T) "What has Solomon ever done for America?" "What have YOU ever done for America?" "Nothing should be in your mouth unless it's a banana." "What type of banana?" "A yellow one, duh." *laughter* "Or a green one, whichever you like more." (T) "For the people who I'm signing these for: are you going to the farm-" "YES WE FINNA BE COWBOYS" (T) "What y'all playing over there?" "Chess." (T) "I hope you lose." (T) "If you're stupid, it's your fault." (T) "Let's go guys!" "hoLD ON I'M SAVING MY POKEMON GAME" "There's people taking pictures down there - should I pour Monster on them?" "When you gave me my pencil I was like 'I like Zoe, she's nice' in my brain and then my brain somehow connected that to 'You tryna smash?' and another part of my brain said 'No, stop, she'd cut your dick off'." "That's the strangest intrusive thought I've ever heard from a friend." "How many of y'all think I'm gay?" *about 6 people raise their hands* "Ok then." "May I please go to the bathroom?" (T) "You just have to get out of here at any chance you get, don't you?" "I'm serious, I'm really hungry, does anyone have any food?" "I have lotion." "Fuck you." (T) "OH MY GOD SHE HAS TAP SHOES CAN YOU DANCE???" "...no" (T) "YOU STILL LOOK GOOD" *watching Sorcerer's Stone* "Who's at the window?" *ta-da it's Malfoy* "Oh it's a blonde-headed lesbian." "Shit fuck goddammit bitch pussy fucking Jesus Christ." "I have ibuprofen, you know." "Nah, I'm good." "I'm a lil loli short and flat~ My head is for pat- wait fuck what was it" "Hello~ my fuCKING HIP OW" "Are you ok?" "I popped my hip...Hello, my name is Elder Price~" (T) "Here, it's legal to marry your 2nd cousin twice removed." "I'm doing it." (T) "******** no-" "Fuck (insert name of school district), man. On my mom." "I wanna fucking die I hate this class." "No. I look like Jesus, I'm telling you no. Therefore, Jesus says no and you're not allowed to die." (T) "How else could we have solved this?" "With a calculator." "Did Diego steal his money from Dora?" (T) "I don't know, moving on." "All y'all talking about how your souls are dark black, mine is baby blue. It's brighter than your hair." "uwu my stomach hurts" "I'm serious I'm not on my phone." (T) "Oh really?" "I swear to GOD she wasn't!" (T) "Oooooohhh" "Holy shit Zoe you're gonna send **** to hell." "You were staring at me for like 20 seconds before calling on me!" (T) "No, my glass eye was staring at you. My real eye was over there seeing that stuff, and over here I didn't see sHIT." "I heard there's G-Spots in your ass, why don't you shove it up there and have some fun." "How about no?" "Suit yourself." "I don't like raw fish — it makes me sad." "100 senators!! Come ON, Sen - a - tors!" "Shut up go stick your head in a dick." "I want that Mormon Milk." "I'm begging you to stop talking." "I'm salivating for that salvation." "Shut the fuck up."

BONUS: SCHOOL'S POWER OUT

"My god that sun is brighter than Kirishima's smile." "Zoe is turning into Trina." "I'm breaking down~" "Come over here anyone who wants to take 'Golden-Hour Mental Breakdown' selfies and/or get Pocky." "Anyone who refuses to let their anxious child come home will be personally smacked by me with Zoe's copy of 'Half-Blood Prince'."

NORMAL SCHOOL

"Stab me in the ovary or whatever you said." "CORRODED ARTERY YOU ARE MALE" "Same difference." "Perfect boy lookin-ass- no homo." "What the fuck" "People think that Sherlock Holmes isn't real because he was written in a book. God was too but you don't see people denying HE exists, do you?" "Ok do a burpee." *burps loudly* "No a- you're a fucking idiot." "Heyyyyy Zoe, can we- holy shit is that Pornhub?" "How do you make a baby crawl in a circle?" "I don't fucking know." "Ok...do you know how to make one stop?" "When did you get here!?" "Couple minutes ago." "???" "I'm quiet and people generally don't notice I'm here." "...do you need a hug?" (T) "What'd you do this weekend?" "Some sewing." (T) "What'd you sew?" "Robes…" (T) "For what?" "*increasingly embarrassed* A costume." "From what?" "*very red by now* Harry Potter…" "Which character?" "*wanting to crawl into a hole* Draco Malfoy…" "*polite clapping from entire class*" (T) "He's on the road to alcoholism." "I'm doing a 21-Day challenge of not talking, if I do - punch me." (T) "Oooohhh this is gonna be fun." *knock at door* (T) "*presses face against door window* What's the password?" "bitCH GIVE ME BACK MY CAPRI-SUN" "It's not Capri-S-" "IT'S BOOTLEG CAPRI-SUN GIVE IT BACK" "Holy shit you turned the Jesus-freak gay." "What happens if you don't deletus the fetus?" "Then the abortion isn't completus." (T) Can you see where I'm going?" "To hell." "Oh look, a wasp." "KILL THAT SHIT" "Oh man I can't hear my eardrums." "How the fuck would you hear your eardrums?" "That's the POINT." "I like a p p l e s ~I like 'em big and juicy-" (T) "NO." "Everyone raise your hand if you want Mr. **** out of the room." *80% raises their hands* (T) "Even you?" "What do you mean 'even me'!?!?" "******? ******!!" "What?" "If I ask you a question will you be a douche?" "Probably." "Understandable." "What the hell am I reading?" "Words." "Mr. **** do you like donkey ducks?" (T) "I'm not even going to answer you." "I'm scared of homophobes." "Homophobophobia." "If gay is a slur does that mean that African American is a slur?" "Who has my mcfreaking phone? WHOMST HAS MY PHONE" (T) "Ooh free charger! *wraps cord around neck like a scarf*" "Whee whee mone me jam apple laff-yeti" "If someone is being homophobic, give them dyslexia." "Troom Troom life hack: if someone is harassing you — eat them." "Troom Troom banana hack: if someone is harassing you — shove a banana up their ass." (T) "Take that hat off." "I'm a gangsta." "I'm never gonna use this shit. Do you think I'm gonna go to McDonald's and say something like, I don't know, 'Oh riddle me dubious'? NO." "I'm gonna meticulate you until you get dyslexia." "What the fuck does that even mean?" "I'm gonna meticulate your rectum." "Please stop." (T) "See that girl? She likes bad boys." (T) "Ask her, she has tape." "What the hell has made you think I have tape?!?" "I don't care if you have 106% in this class, you can kiss my fat ass!" "No, PICasso." "I like Costco-" "No." "Holy shit *points at red train in movie watched in class* it's the Hogwarts Express." "Stop it." "Choo choo bitch we goin' to magic school." (T) "Guys Mr. ***** is in here, quick make it look like you're doing math." "3 + 7 = 9!!!" "Are you serious?" "MOVE IT, MUNCHKINS!" *shoves us apart and runs off* "Excuse-moi, I'm gonna beat her ass." "Oh my god someone's weave is on the floor." "Only at (insert school name here)." "THERE'S MORE THEY THREW IT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW" "*handing out books* Take this dick, *throws book on student's desk next to me* and here you go. *places book gently on my desk*" "waIT TAKE THAT BACK I WANT A 'HERE YOU GO' WTF" (T) "-and so the corn salsa would be 20...thaaaat's not one of the answers oh no." "You fucking whore, happy birthday." (T) "How do you know you are college and career ready?" "Because Jesus loves me." "Last time I shit my pants was in middle school." "rePEAT THAT?" "I'm gonna show up tomorrow with AIDS." "Did you just say you'd show up with AIDS?" "Yeah." "Why??" "Cause HE put his spit on me." "I'm borrowing your chair. To sleep." "I'm straight as a line." "Oh? *makes loop-de-loops in the air* You mean THIS line?" (T) "I will decimate you. I will wipe your name from the earth." "Is the government making us take this test?" (T) "No, the district is making us take it." "Well the district can suck my ass." *calling every white person in a certain scene of Ernest Green a toothpick* "Is it just me or does ******** seem like he'd end up having a job at Chuck and Dale's?" "GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE I WANNA WATCH MERLIN" (T) "You boys don't know how to chop down a tree, do you? You wouldn't be able to do that." "Yes I would, I do it in Minecraft all the time!" (T) "Ok, remember to put your name on your paper." "No. I have no name. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Voldemordita." "Stop it." "Shut up, both y'all gay, always smackin' each other's asses in class." (T) "Easy, Luigi, we're not watching a movie." (This was a sub for Civics class and he had just walked in 2 minutes prior. The student's name was not Luigi) "Hold on I'm gonna be Oprah: YOU GET A CALCULATOR, YOU GET A CALCULATOR!" "Y'know ***** still needs one." "F R I C K" *girl walks into a desk* "There's a desk there ****." "I KNOW fuck OFF" "I feel like we need to warn her about everything when she walks." "Watch out for life, ****." "Can we do it on paper?" (T) "No, this is not Burger King." *leaving the room* "Remember, cocaine is not your friend. I'll kick your ass." (T) "Wow! It's Good Friday, and you're talking about your baptism and stuff like that, and you said 'oh my fricking god'? For shame." (T) "I'm on a lot of drugs and alcohol right now and I can't feel anything." "Oh my GOD USE A YARDSTICK" "No." "MR. ******** I'M GONNA HURT HER" "Gonna stab her with the yardstick?" "I need bail money." "I need money PERIOD." "DRAW. A STRAIGHT.  L I N E." "NO, FUCK YOU" "You know you're gay when it takes you 3 tries to draw a straight line." "DON'T TAKE MY JOKE" "You definitely know you're gay if it still isn't straight after 3 tries." (T) "What would you do if someone came into your neighborhood?" "Who's neighborhood? Mr. Rodger's?" "I have 15 pets." "I have 13 siblings, does that count?" "No but it does mean that your parents need to learn how to use a fucking condom." "Hi my name is J. Michael Tater Tot welcome to the Dairy Dome." "Dyslexia? I thought you said...cannibalistic tendencies." "What?" "I couldn't think of anything that rhymed." "You need to flex seal your anus closed." "If you don't fucking shut up I will shave off your eyebrows using my toenail as a razor you cunt." "Sippy Cup looks depressed." "Sippy Cup, you going through some shit?" "Hit or Miss, I guess they never miss, huh? You got a boyfriend-" "Yep." "I bet he doesn't kiss ya!" "Haha nope." "Ew I look like Casper." (T) "...and we're going to write a paragraph." "Oh you're FUNNY." "I think I'm switch. Like, I'm good with being sub, but I'd like to dominate my bitch too. Like F.B.I get on the ground open your legs." "Ms. ******* that's really bright-" (T) "YOU'RE bright." Video: *talking about how important this song is to them* (T) "I don't care stop talking." "I peed on the desk again." "Key word: AGAIN???" "You should send ****** and I to get them." "That is a HORRIBLE idea." "What do you mean it's a horrible idea? You don't know me!" "What do you mean 'I don't know you?' We have gone to school together for almost 4 years." (T) "Look, I know you're obsessed with me, GET TO WORK." "He's harassing me." "You harassed me first. It's not harassment if you do it in self-defense." "You can have the benefit of my middle finger." "It's the progression of the climb of the rocket." (T) "Oh my GOOODDDD JUST SAY IT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING" "Fine. The speed." (T) "ExACTLY." "Oh look a firetruck's outside." "Whee whoo whee whoo- oh my god you're serious. Oh god it's (crappy fire department) jesus christ." "I think we need to potty train our classmates again." "AGAIN???" "Well, yeah. They're supposed to be." "'Supposed to' and 'are' are two different things." "Mr. **** can I put mascara on you?" (T) "No." "Whyyyyy?" (T) "Do I look like a Barbie doll?" (T) "Mascara girl is the one who's talking." "You act like I don't have a name!!!" "Do you?" "What the hell are you doing?" "It makes your eyelashes look nicer." "Yeah; easy, breezy, beautiful: Covergirl. Get with the program." "James Charles is QUAKING." "Sister shook." "Give me my paper." "Bitch I'm gluing my fingers together, I didn't fucking take it." "Do you have a charger?" "No, but I have a notebook full of English notes." "I don't have any round characters, all of mine are gay and sad."

BONUS 2: BIRTHDAY

"I'm sorry I don't have anything for you for your birthday all I have is Reese's and duct tape." "Wait it's your birthday??? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO-" "NO STOP SHE DOESN'T WANT THAT" "Thank you." "You're welcome." (T) "Pay attention my dudes." *collective groaning from entire class* "*asking for tampons*" (T) "*holding a marker* I can throw another red one at you." "I don't get it. *sudden realization*" (T) "***** pick your jaw up off the floor, I was joking." "I'm tired of the word 'domain'." "Oh yeahhhh me too, cause we hear it a lot in physics now." "Domain, domain, domain; I hate it." "I'm in a domain of hating myself." "I'm joking, I love you." "I'm not joking, but I love you too anyways." "**** don't lose your Crocs again." (T) "Get that earbud out of your ear." "No, this is keeping me sane." "Why is my name 'desire'??? I put it as 'pee pee poo poo'!"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I've finally done a fraction! I flipped it over, turned it around, smacked its ass and had it call me daddy." "PARDON???" "What?" (in Physics talking about electricity) "Ok positive top, negative bottom-" "ME?" "He said you can't learn if you burn but you do learn. You learn fire is hot. Also the sensation of being burned alive as you are consumed by flames." "*shows Thanos smut* Spoilers for Endgame that no one asked for." "Legend has it that if you work at the Dairy Dome, you get free tickets to Domegame." Have a marvelous Monday, a Terrific Tuesday, a Wonderful Wednesday, a...Thesis Thursday. I couldn't think of anything." "You look like a frog." (T) "And you look like a squid." "Someone today said I looked like a drug dealer magician. Would you like *sweeps off hat* MARIJUANA??? Or...*pretends to pull something out of hat* COKE??? Perhaps some *flourishes* *whispers* acid???" "I'm gonna Detroit Smash him to hell." "LGBT, let's get this bread." "My hero academia as in Aizawa can shove my ass up his head- wait hold on" "*talking about Ariel* She's hot but that doesn't excuse the fact that she put her entire species in jeopardy for some dick." (T) "Does anyone not have medicine in their bag that ******* cannot have while I look down at the floor because I dropped my pen?" (T) "*reaches for paper*" "Ah ah **** no swipin'." *in science class* "Nothing's happening but I saw that bitch SPARK and I'm terrified." "I'm basically teacher today, your assignment is to do nothing. YOU get an A." "SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKER I'LL EAT YOUR ANUS THEY DON'T CALL ME RECTUMUS PRIME FOR NOTHING" "EXCUSE ME" "What was the word again?" "David Hasselhoff?" "What, no???" "This is why you shouldn't scratch yourself, here." "*instantly shoves necklace in mouth*" "I wouldn't use that as a chew fidget, I got it off the ground in Louisiana." "*chews even more aggressively*" (T) "Don't mess with me I will throw something at you, I played softball for 14 years." "Really???" (T) "Yeah. I was the captain biatch." "James Charles looks like the dragon from Shrek." "***'s touching my wenis." "Gay fantasies don't really matter." "Yeah, I mean, did you see the way that Tony and Cap looked at each other in Endgame?" "When he was, a young boy, his father, took him to the dark lord, to kill the principalofawizardachool" "He said son when, you grow up, will you b-" "HE SAID WILL YOU, GETSHANKEDINABATHROOM-" "Watch out: I have peanut butter and a knife!" (T) "All you need is at least a 60% to pass the test-" "BOI I GET 40S AND 30S IN YOUR CLASS AND YOU KNOW IT" (T) "So you used to go to (other school name)?" "Yeah. But people growling and barking at me was a little much." (T) "Were they furries?" "Dude, tornadoes in Kansas are no joke." "But you go to Oz." "THERE AIN'T NO YELLOW BRICK ROAD AFTER A TORNADO" "Uh, yeah! Yellow brick road to HEAVEN." "Toto isn't god” "You awakened something you didn't want to awaken." "Is it god??? Is it Totoro? Remember to pay your taxes or Hong Kong will come eat you." "Today's weather is cloudy with a chance of rectal prolapse." (T) "Who's at the door?" "It's ***." (T) "Who's ***?" "***. Your student." (T) "*opens door* Who are you?" "I'm nobody." "Who is commander in chief of the military? My  p e n i s" "Are those grandma shoes??? Can I  e a t  them???" "She sounds like a fetus screaming for extra guac at Chik-Fil-A." "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN" "*singing the Boku No Pico theme off-key in a loli voice*" "I will hit you." "I'd feel bad for you but you have a 69% and that causes you to get a D and I can't look that over." "Do you ever wonder where babies come from? Cause I don't. All you have to do is pee into a lady's Digornio." "rePEAT THAT??" "Don't forget to degrade your dog." "Imagine a world: where you have 2 fetuses hanging from your eyebrow."

BONUS 3: GIANT, END-OF-THE-YEAR CIVICS TEST

"Why the fuck is Christmas a national holiday???" (T) "Ok, the president during WWII was...Roose-" "-A PARKS" (T) "Are you even paying attention?" (T) "What happened on September 11th, 2001?" "9/11!" (T) "We're gonna need you to be a little more specific, buddy." (T) "What's a state that borders Canada?" "I deadass was about to say Arizona, I need sleep." "WHAT is your name?" "*****." "WHAT is your quest?" "To clap the best pussy out there." "*through laughter* What is your favorite color?" "The color of the next pussy I'm gonna crunch." "I got a Voltage from the ROTC room, and I dropped it and someone said 'OOH', picked it up and yeeted with it." "WHAT THE FUCK I'D SHIT ON THEIR HOUSE" "Can we play a song after our presentation?" (T) "As long as it's not like 20 minutes like an Allman Brothers song." "Huh?" (T) "You know how when you have an acid trip, people tell you to listen to the Allman Brothers?" "..." (T) "I'm old." (T) "If this eye starts drooping, there was something in the brownie." (T) "*teaching us Piccolo Mini*" "You just made me feel dyslexic." "YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW THE TEA??? I'M THE REAL HOE" *applause from class* "BITCH WE BEEN KNEW" "*unintelligible*" (T) "What?" "*still unintelligible*" (T) "I still didn't hear you." "You talk like your handwriting." "I WILL THROW THIS CROC AT YOU" "I will literally pay a dollar for one." "I will literally eat these." "Petunia is not a phone." "Electronic device, then." "She's not an electronic device, I gave birth to her." (T) "**** that's the whitest you've ever sounded." "My dingaling is messed up." "Mine too." (T) "Ok so say you wanted aides-" "I DON'T WANT AIDS WHAT THE HELL" (T) "IN THE CLASSROOM. CLASSROOM AIDES. HELPERS. "Can we talk while doing this?" (T) "No, this isn't Burger King." "What is your obsession with Burger King????" "HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S PUTTING THE WHITE NECTAR ON THE RAMEN SINK" "Have you ever seen a 14 year old looking badass?" "Have you ever seen a beaver chomping down on a carrot? Cause I wanna see that." "I don't wanna go to Papa Louie's Arcade, Papa Louie can pop a cap in your ass." "Micheal does a Thanos Snap in season 14." "Cas, I don't feel so good." "NO" "Your Crocs are in sport mode." "My cock is hard." "THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID" "It's ok lil diglett I'm gonna evolve you." (T) "Stop it." "I'm gonna evolve you it's fine, you're weak but you're gonna get better. *throws stress ball at teacher*" (T) "******* looks like Ted Bundy" (T) "He's falling asleep. Hey, ****, are you sad you can't have an abortion?" "What???" (T) "If you don't like high school relationships, who's that guy you keep making out with in the hallway?" "*pointing at random places on the map in the civics classroom, threatening to deport each other to random places*" "You're jiggling my titties." "*half the class is singing I Write Sins Not Tragedies*" "I love you!" "Shut it, I'm doing a presentation." "I love you!!" "Stop." "I love you!!!" "God damnit, *******, I'm gonna hit you." (T) "If you drop any f-bombs during the presentation, I'm gonna kill you." "Bottom, take the apple." "I'm not black, I'm O.J." "Balls. That was the word." "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET 'BALLS' FROM 'THE BUCKS ARE WINNING THE FINALS'??" "Who's this? Tom? No I don't wanna streak with you. Stranger danger." "Why is it called Field Day if it's only 2 periods?" (AP) "I- That's actually a good question." "ALRIGHT THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO-" "*gets literally kissing distance from him* *salutes* Yes sir?" "We're playing cornhole." "Stop laughing, how is cornhole inappropriate?" "Mr. **** this is the type of yardstick that could take your kneecaps. Do you want me to take yours?" (T) "I'd like to see you try." "Is that Ratatouille?" "Ratatouille isn't the rat. That's Remy, you insolent fuck." "I'm gonna call you the 'G' word." "What's the 'G' word?" "Jew." "That's…porny." "...send it to me." "Where you going?" "To hell." "WHY" "*shrugs* Seems fun." "You see, this is why I need to work with you. I'm your insurance."

BONUS 4: FIELD DAY

(T) "Are you part 1 or part 2?" "Uh…" (T) "Top line or bottom line?" "Bottom- no, top- uhhhhh…" "He looks like a top." "I still don't understand why we fucking dropped Bohemian Rhapsody for a song from fucking  T W I L I G H T." (T) "*throws a marker at the Assistant Principal*" *various cheers and "OHHHHHH"s from the class* (AP) "Are you actually serious." Not a quote but in the 2nd to last week of school, we spent almost the entirety of 4th period Algebra (including the teacher — he started it) throwing dry-erase markers at each other and didn't even stop when the AP (seen above) came in. (T) "*walks through the middle of the room*" "FIRE" *8 people pelt markers at him* "Wait you guys realize he's gonna throw all of those back, right?" "I have a D I'm hanging on the edge my dudes." "I did a math? I did a math!!!" "You did meth?" "YES!!!" "*gets head shoved out of window* OW! FUCK, ****** MY TIT" "You exude strong Kenny energy." "Why?" "Cause you die a lot? Cause your heart was replaced with a baked potato? Cause your family's poor?" "*laughing so hard we can't breathe*" "*leaves the cafeteria to calm down from laughing too hard*" "I'm having elementary school flashbacks." "Shut your social justice warrior ass up." "You ok?" "I stabbed myself." "Sorry, only girls get it. Also, this is my last customer today." "Hold on, if it's only girls, why does HE get it?" "Hi." "OH SHIT YOU'RE A GIRL MY BAD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

“Did I just witness a drug deal?” "Why do you look like a dad?" "I need some weed in my system again, I'm fucking drained." "There's a fucking big-ass run in my tights — I'm gonna eat my own ass and then some." "Hi I'm ***** and Mr. **** can suck my 13 inch dong. My Long John Silver." "This ignorant pickle of a person can die." "This cashew of a long dong. Cashews look like telephones." "A shirt says Mr. **** can suck my magnum horse, my stallion." "His mom should've fucking swallowed." "Spit his ass in a Dixie cup." "I will tattoo my eyes shut." "I'm talking about this mongoose man that's called Mr. ****." "Can you speak some Spanish?" "Hola, como estas, sugma." "Sugma?" "Suck my fuckin' balls lmao" "It's your sugar daddy. *shows picture of Andrew Jackson*" "It's Mr. **** as a woman." "That's fucking Christopher Columbus." "*howling laughter*" "I was just thinking 'have it stop raining so that I don't have to walk in it', but then I remembered I have work today so it should keep pouring. The more the sky cries, the less I cry. Unless I'm on drive." "Excuse me sir, *raises leg* my penis has fallen off." "I pray you get AIDS." (T) "Please throw away your sheet music, it's illegal to copy sheet music and I don't wanna go to jail." "*loud smack* I am so sorry, I didn't mean it to be that loud! Come here baby boy, let me give you the sweet taste of my mother milk." "It's not mother anymore, it's daddy now." "Dude what if you were born with a set of words that if said, would implode your testicles." "Bomb go boom, Mormons go extinct." "MR. **** YOU TOOK OUR NOODS" "DON'T TAKE THE NOODS" "NOT THE NOODS!!!" "****, I thought you were Catholic." "The pencil's black." "Like my ass-cheeks." "Someone stole it!!!!" "Like ****'s virginity."

BONUS 5: WATCHING INSIDIOUS (FOR SOME FUCKING REASON)

*kid falls off ladder* *various banshee screeches from students* "They're kissing AGAIN. This movie is NOT appropriate." "I'm hearding weeeesssst~ I don't know what to dooooo~ " That's not how you make a superpowered baby. You kill the mother and put her on the ceiling." "Wait, pause. What the hell?" "F.B.I, open up." "IT'S DALTON." "PUT A CHAIR ON THE DAMN DOOR" "HOW WOULD A CHAIR WORK AGAINST THE DEMON" "He's in a deep sleep. Wake him up with true love's kiss." "It's a pedo-demon! Everyone run!" "He's cheating on her." "What if this was linked to Supernatural?" "Ooh she's echoing now." "My legs are shaking bruh." "Is that blood on the window?" "No, it's a tree." "SMACK THE CHILD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I figured out why I'm so quiet today." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, *shows trembling hands* I'm on vibrate." "I can't wait to go to church."

BONUS 6: LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

"The first thing I ate when I came to this country, it was in the airport and it was Doritos." (T) "They gave me the shortest teachers' gown they had. I have a baby gown." "That isn't a happy little bush." "IT'S. TREE." "Hello ladies, *winks* *blows kiss*" "I'm GAY." *I Will Survive playing really loudly* "******* you're not in our friend group so get the FUCK OUT." "Now I can swear! FUCK Y'ALL BITCHES I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR KNEECAPS" "Oh shit it's an end of the year fight!" Four kids got into a fight at the same time and one got tazed."

[darthcontusion]

like i'm aggressively not going to look at anything galko related both out of disgust for the author and irritation at the discourse surrounding but i feel like we've entered a brand new world of discourse-approved bad takes surrounding sex in media because this guy who drew some milquetoast ass ecchi that wasn't even loli related turned out to be a pedophile

it's probably worse than the time a bunch of dweebs thought you could retroactively tell watsuki was a pedophile by the way he drew ankles or whatever the fuck because at least most people knew that was stupid but here comes tumblr knee deep in shit because this pedophile happened to know some weird trivia about nipples.

you know as though you motherfuckers aren't lapping up every confusing boob fact that crosses your god damn dashboard.

[the-real-overwatch-lore]

there is no title

D.Va is a fake gamr gril

OOOOOOOOO FUICK I’m BACK ON MY BULSLHIT AGIAN

She’s a member of the KKK

She wore white onec so she’s a KKK clan, the Ku Klux Klan Klan if you will

I AM FREE

memebr.

Dva has a confederate flag tramp stamp. She got it after a night out drinking with zenyatta. He got a swastika, which is why he wears the weird belt-sash-thing.

I’m not sure if it’s weirder if brigette and rein are banging or if they’re not

TORBJORN IS HERE WE MUST STOP HIM BEFORE HE BECOMES TOO POWERFUL

WHERE IS DOOMFIST WE NEED HIM NOW, ONLY HE CAN STOP THE POWER OF GOD

JEFF

JE

J

RBJO

ORBJOR

TORBJON

JEFF=TORBJORN

JEFF IS TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD YOU ALL NEED TO REALIZE THIS++

TORBJORN

ALL HAIL ORB JORB

W HVAE TO STOP GEOFF

BEFORE IT ARE LATE

ALSO

SO

ASLO

D.va being a fake gamer girls of great streaming for showing the tits and ass, became the best startcraft stream in the land. She really sucks dick at games but her rabid following of cucks made her so well know as the best PRO GAMER the korean military falling into her fake gamer grill web soon made her the leader of the mechs. But shes turned out to be shit, now the military is murder all streamers that say otherwise to try and save face, until the propaganda office came up with the russian botnet michael chu, which through the power of slav shit and hacker power made all you sheep believe that it is the writer for overwatch BUT IT IS ALL LIES DO NOT BE FOOLED BUY GOLD BUY GOLD

BUY BITCOIN BUY BITCOIN SELL BITCOIN SELL BITCOIN ITS CRASHING OH GOD MY MORTGAGE HELP

Zarya made the gloglogabgoblosasdfkjnidvcb man. The gobgogobaglab was a russian Omnic that had flesh and got in a house and really liked books. Because it was russian and Zarya is russian that means she made it.

NO BUY OMINCCOIN ITS DEFINITELY NOT A SCAN

Donald Glover is hero #503, his ult will just uninstall the game and pirate his entire discography

ULTRA INSTINCT IS A GIRL WITH A DICK

No fuck you instinct is the worst skill

And then we watched shitposting the end

Gerard and reyes were lesbian lovers which is why widowmaker joined talon for the reverse-dead-husband-cuck fetishists out there

So how is omnic babby formed?

Simple really, ordinary birth.

Well that’s done.

Can human fuck the ombrik?

Ord can only the omdick fuk the hummus?

Lrn 2 sple

Nej

Vore-based ult when

Zarya’s ult is a Vore ult cuz it sucks

O shit

Ur riech

Hitler as a servant went I NEED GENDERSWAPPED LOLI HITLER EVERYONE KNOWS SHE’S THE CUTEST BEST WAIFU SHE KILLED THE JEWS BECAUSE SHE WANTED YOU TO NOTICE HER

\\

NO FUCK YOU MUSSOLINE BEST WAIFU

So would Hitler be flat or have massive tits? Like this is what keeps the smart people up at

night Stephen Hawking’s last thoughts were about This very thing

No, have you seen that motherfucker’s paintings? Landscapes are FLAT. moe hitler would be flat as a goddamn board

FLAT HITLER IS THE ONE TRUE HITLER

Stalin is thicc as FUCK tho

Tru faks

Eisenhower the true tsundere tho. “It’s not like I want to be elected president or anything, b-b-baaaaka”

Trump is gonna build a wall to keep the omnics out

You real talk tho did trump exist in overwatch? Rhetorical question

Trump founded underwatch but then it got impeached :(

WAIT

NO

MATTIS IS SOLDERI 76

IT ALL MAKE SENSE

THOT DETECTED THOT DETECTED THOT DETECTED THOT DETECTED STAY WOKE STAY WOKE STAY WOKE THOT DETECTED

[i-th1nk-we-4re-d0omed]

Angel With A Dirty Face

Sometimes i think i used to think more... These days i find myself stuck in a blank space in my head, like im hypnotized, very oftenly i guess... I hate it, I hate it so much, i fucking hate wasting my time, i hate sleeping because i dont dream, i never rememeber, i fucking hate wasting my life giving my existence, my thoughts... to absolutly nothing. I remember a time where I was at the exactly opposite posture, I couldnt stop thinking, there was always something going on, my head n my eyes used to ache as hell because I couldnt stop doing a phylosophicall dissertation abt everything i saw, it was hell... But it was something, it couldve been tiring, but I used my head to do something, thinking n trying to see the whole picture of this fucked up humanity, write, write, write n write, I was a producer, I was active, now Im just a sleepy, empty headed motherfucker. Two months later my other people used to shout on my head n give me something to think abt... Life, death, loliness, social slavery, pain, love, war, fakeness, sickness, injustice, violence, I was having breaking downs almost daily... But I rather have something to fight with, something to work with, than feel useless like i do rn... Tho once i search them... Itll be hell, I cant control myself... But i guess "I need this to be myself", I need something to fight with, something that fucking tears me apart, Im a Angel With A Dirty Face.

[atleastputinsomeeffortinuroc]

Rant/Review: Powerpuff Girls D -or- Worse Than The Reboot

(Yes. This gif describes it perfectly. Plus, I didn’t want to disgrace the powerpuff girls’ very image with this shit. So there.)

Ok, I’m not going to lie. My initial plan for this rant was to do a full on review and rant about my gripes and bitterness towards an animated show everyone likes for some reason (which you’ll probably see in the near future,) but something happened. 

And, uh…Ok. Before I start. You ever find something so dumb, stupid and hilarious that once you see it you find you’ve gotta tell EVERYBODY about it? Like it’s so incomprehensible to your mind about what you just saw that you’re left stunned and without words? But not in the good way? In the “What in the actual fuck” way?

WELL! GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!

I was doing my usual shit on the internet, minding my own business, when I just so happened upon an old webcomic I had read back when I was a younger kid. A little comic called “Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi” by a dude named Bleedman (who the Encyclopedia describes as a man who “shows little talent for drawing, and has no imagination when it comes to storytelling.”) I’m not going to lie to you, I remember having fond memories of reading that as a kid. A kid who didn’t know any better and thought that Mulan II was just as good as the first one. A kid who was honestly a moron. And still is a moron to some capacity.

I snorted and thought, “Hey. I’ve got nothing better to do. Let’s blow a couple hours and read this shit and bring back some good ol’ nostalgia, huh?”

That decision has changed me. For the better or for the worse, I can’t say. But let me tell you, this shitty web comic is both the stupidest and yet oddest reads I’ve had since I read “Face the Strange.” And it left me almost wanting to recommend it in some demented capacity just to see other people’s reactions to this weird ass shit.

Let’s back up, though. What’s this webcomic about? Well, you remember that show Powerpuff Girls? Remember how much you loved it before the reboot shat on it with outdated jokes and corporate memes? Imagine those three (well, I say those three but more of shells of their characters, but I’ll get into that in a bit,) in a city where every single cartoon character you’ve ever seen seems to exist…and in some generic anime plot and setting.

Yeah. That’s what I did with my day. I’m a REAL adult.

But what else do I even say? Already you’ve made a decision in your mind about whether or not your morbid curiosity is going to give this thing the time of day. Recommended or not. Plus, it’s over ten chapters and ten YEARS OLD.  The man who is doing the comic I think is still working on this sunvabitch like it’s his magnum opus. Going at this thing in a single sitting will take the entire website’s bandwidth. 

And yet, I still kind of want to go into it. Because, again, I think this crap is funny. (Though there is some shit that happened in the background that is honestly disturbing, but I’ll get to that when I get to it) Criticism or not, I do technically recommend it as this terrible reverse masterpiece of just…just pure shit, but only in a certain shaudenfruede kind of way. In no ways am I saying this is good. At all. I want to emphasize that. 

So I’m gonna break it down by just using the first arc to highlight the kind of issues prevalent throughout this piece of shit’s run. (Arc being basically a kind of completed narrative structure that spans several comics with a beginning, middle and an end—YOU KNOW WHAT AN ARC IS.)

First arc is what I’m gonna call “The Introduction Arc.”

Also spoilers, I guess. But, y’know, who actually cares? This thing is a decade old.

  Right off the bat. The instant you pull up the comic. You immediately know we’re up shit’s creek without a paddle. The art style is BAD. Like that generic anime bullshit art kind of bad. In fact, I’d go so far as to say this shit looks TERRIBLE. And it’s worse in the actual comic (which I won’t show you, save for the image I’ve already got set up.

And, what’s even worse, is that it starts off EXACTLY LIKE EVERY HIGH SCHOOL ANIME IN EXISTENCE. “OH LOOK! IT’S THE NEW STUDENT! THEY’RE WACKY AND DON’T FIT IN! BUT, WHAT’S THIS?! THERE’S A STUDENT WHO IS JUST AS WACKY AND DIFFERENT AS THEY ARE”—I’m not a fan of this kind of storytelling. Can you tell?

The Powerpuff Girls are going to a new elementary school in Megaville (because fuck Townsville, it’s not like supervillains were tearing that place to shit on the daily, am I right?) And, like I stated before, they’re new and don’t fit in. (Insert *wah wah* noise here.) They go in front of the class and introduce themselves in front of their pink haired teacher (who, fun fact, NEVER SHOWS UP AGAIN AFTER THE FIRST COMIC,) and announce themselves as the superheroes known as The Powerpuff Girls. And the class starts laughing their asses off at them. (I WILL BE COMING BACK TO THIS SCENE IN A MOMENT.)

Everyone’s laughing, save for one person. Dexter. You know. From Dexter’s lab. Because, like I said, this is a big fan fiction comic. Later in the day during Recess, he says hello and demands to see their powers if they are superheroes because, as he says, he just so happens to “be a superhero” himself.

…NO HE’S NOT. HE’S AN ASSHOLE.

Then, when Buttercup starts getting up in his face, he says “Perhaps you’d like to see a sample of my capability and to prove which of us holds true.”

And…no, I don’t really know what language he’s speaking either. Yeah, he wants to fight these guys, and that’s obvious, but what is that sentence even? To see a sample of my capability. So how capable you are of being a hero? How is throwing down going to prove you’re a hero? Is it to see their abilities (which was stated two panels earlier?) Ok. Sure. I get that part. But to see which of us holds true is what confuses me. What holds true? There’s nothing in question. Nothing needed to be proven true or false. You have said this in the most incomprehensible way imaginable. Now, I know what you’re thinking.

Why does this matter?

…Honestly, it doesn’t. I’m just making a needless mountain out of a small molehill, but still. That is a bad line of dialogue.

Ok. Back on track. Buttercup being buttercup wants to brawl with Dexter. And they do. In true, glorious and terribly drawn fashion. But how does Dexter fight a Powerpuff Girl wearing nothing but a backpack? Oh that’s easy. HE JUST PULLS A MUCH OUT OF HIS ASS.

SERIOUSLY. THE PAGE BEFORE, HE HAS HIS BACKPACK, WHICH ASSUMEDLY IS WHERE THE MECH IS IN, AND HE DOESN’T MOVE OR FLINCH WHEN BUTTERCUP COMES FLYING AT HIM, AND THEN SUDDENLY—BAM. MECH SUIT. BECAUSE FUCK YOU.

Anywho, the two start throwing down. Buttercup flying and fighting whilst Dexter in his “fuck you” mechsuit tries to land in a couple hits. And while I can complain about how the negative space and lack of backgrounds make it feel lazy and pointless to stretch the fight scene out to three or four pages, but I want to harp on something else.

Ok, so do you remember back when the kids earlier were laughing at the powerpuff girls for calling themselves superheroes? Well, guess how they reach to this shit?

The answer: THEY DON’T! THEY JUST SORT OF STAND AROUND AND WATCH AS THESE TWO (and later FOUR, when Bubbles and Blossom show up to help whoop Dexter’s ass) THROW DOWN. SO IF THEY’RE FINE WITH THIS SHIT HAPPENING AT THEIR SCHOOL, THEN WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY LAUGHING!? AND FOR THAT MATTER, HAVE THEY NOT HEARD OF THE CONSTANT SUPERHERO FIGHTING GOING ON IN TOWNSVILLE?! BUT EVEN IF THEY DIDN’T, THEY KNOW DEXTER. DEXTER WITH THE FUCK YOU MECHSUIT. THREE GIRLS WHO CALL THEMSELVES SUPERHEROES ISN’T THAT FARFETCHED WHEN COMPARED TO HIM AND HIS ANTICS. AND THEY KNOW OF HIS SCIENTIFIC ANTICS, BY THE WAY. THEY REFERENCE IT LATER. SO WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT SCENE ADDED EXCEPT FOR TO ADD TO THE STUPID ANIME TROPE THAT EXISTS GO FUCK YOURSELF JESUS CHRIST

…

…

…Ok. Ok, I’m back.

So Blossom and Bubbles join in the fight after Buttercup seems out-matched because they’re more powerful together with sisterhood and friendship or whatever bullshit over these white backgrounds that are lazy as shit. And then they release those little energy things at him, presumably to MURDER this motherfucker, when Dexter slams his hands down and does…something? I dunno. They never explain, but they just blow up a good chunk of the ground and knocks the girls on their asses. Dexter gets ready to fight some more when the gym teacher stops them.

Who is this gym teacher?

Samurai. Fucking. JACK.

But in the background, while he’s yelling at them for doing shit, evil forces are in the background “hidden” on a rooftop and state how the girls are “more powerful than I have ever dreamed them to be” and other cryptic bullshit. I say “hidden” because there’s this BIG FUCKING MECH BEHIND THIS DEMON LOOKING THING AND THIS LOLI MOTHERFUCKER. AND I’M SORRY, BUT NO. I DON’T CARE HOW FAR AWAY YOU THINK THAT SHIT IS, YOU’RE GOING TO SEE A MECH THAT’S THE SIZE OF A DAMN HOUSE FROM A MILE AWAY. ESPECIALLY IF THAT SHIT IS PINK. WHICH, Y’KNOW, IT IS.

The next thing is a “joke” issue where it’s this spin off about “oh, Buttercup watches too much anime,” even though it isn’t funny. At all. Like…there is no real punchline. Just a bunch of “lol so random” unfunny shit.

But anyway, enough of that. Back with the main plot. Jack calls the group of four into the…dojo that the school has for some fucking reason, also, why the fuck is Samurai Jack teaching a gym class when he’s supposed to be fighting fuckin’ Aku and saving the future? Wh-what ever happened to that shit? Doesn’t matter—ok, I’ll go fuck myself then.

Anywho, Samurai Jack is not happy with the PROPERTY DESTRUCTION AND NEAR LOSS OF STUDENT LIFE OUT OF WHAT WAS BASICALLY A DICK MEASURING CONTEST, but has decided to LET IT GO. BECAUSE THE GIRLS ARE NEW. And Dexter’s punishment? HE’S GOTTA SHOW THE GIRLS AROUND THE SCHOOL. BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. (Oh yeah, and Courage the Cowardly Dog is Jack’s dog now. Because his previous owner gave him to Jack to help him feel better, but the owners never came back so Jack, feeling NO RESPONSIBILITY TO FIND THIS DOG’S OWNER OR FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THME AT ALL, decides ‘eh, fuck it. I got a dog now. (And, to be fair, at least Courage is away from Eustace, that asshole.))

And then suddenly, BAM! THE ART STYLE CHANGES.

And when you get there, you’re going to ask the same question I asked which I will just go ahead and answer for you. No, you’re still reading the same comic, and yes, the same dude is doing the art for it. He just changed up his style. And, y’know, to be completely fair, it isn’t THAT bad. It’s not GOOD. But it’s not a pain to look at.

AAAAANYwho, blah, blah, blah, exposition, exposition, exposition. Dexter just lays out that Jack is basically a ninja (which is WRONG. SAMURAI ARE NOT NINJAS YOU FUCK.) And we see another problem that the writer has. An overusage of ellipsis.

And I know that sounds like a bullshit claim coming from ME, but here’s the thing.

My ellipsis? They’re only three dots. I keep ‘em like that.

This guy uses……….twenty……..dots to…..explain……….breaks in………………………………………….dialogue.

It’s something that, whenever I see it, call out for being really juvenile in terms of writing technique. Just use three dots, dude. You aren’t writing a rant on Tumblr. This is a comic. Fan or not.

Anywho, Bubbles is playing outside and alone with Courage, when suddenly this HUGE ASS MONSTEROUS LOOKIN’ THING SHOWS THE FUCK OUTTA NOWHERE. LIKE, OK. LOOK.

You set up a certain tone and art-style. Mainly just some cutesy bullshit. BUT YOU DO NOT, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, IMMEDIATELY PUT THAT NEXT TO SOME BLOODY AND GORY THING WITH SHARP TEETH AND CLAWS WITHOUT GOOD REASON. Some comics can pull this off, like if it’s a parody or a joke. Courage the Cowardly Dog pulled this off because its tone was always so off the wall and creepy. But PPGD doesn’t have that luxury. It’s a generic high school anime. And what’s worse, is that it’s takin this shit SERIOUSLY. So it’s just JARRING as hell.

Especially when the next scene is immediately Courage doing charades with Dexter, Buttercup and Blossom to tell them that some huge freakin’ monster is outside in another *wah wah* tone.

Anywho, again, OUTSIDE OF THE FUCKIN’ SCHOOL, THERE’S ANOTHER BIG FIGHT. ONLY THIS TIME, IT’S WITH SOME BIG ASS DRAGON LOOKIN’ THING WHOSE DESIGN IS SO HARD TO PIN DOWN THAT IT JUST BECOMES A MIX OF FLESH AND METAL AT THIS POINT. ALSO. I’M PRETTY SURE THAT THIS THING HAS A BIG METAL SPIKE WHERE ITS DICK IS SUPPOSED TO BE.        

Anywho, Blossom topples over Dexter in, again, MORE ANIME BULLSHIT WITH THE BLUSHING AND THE “o-oh. I-I-I-I-I-I’m so sorry” CRAP AS BUBBLES IS ABOUT TO GET EATEN ALIVE BY THIS SPIKE DICK DRAGON MOTHERFUCKER.

Buttercup runs up to whip this thing’s ass when the dragon blasts her and then PRECEDES TO CHOMP INTO HER. WITH BLOOD BEGINNING TO SPUTTER OUT OF HER BODY.

WHAT. THE ACTUAL. FUCK.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BUTTERCUP IS FUCKING DEAD. (No she isn’t, obviously, but it’s just framed in such a way that you’d believe it.)

And then, right before Bubbles gets the same treatment, Dexter holds Blossom back as Jack leaps out of nowhere to slice that motherfuckin’ dragon to pieces. BECAUSE HE’S SAMURAI FUCKIN’ JACK BITCH.

AND HE SLICES THROUGH IT WITH HIS BLADE. AND BLOOD STARTS COMIN’ OUT OF THE STUMPS WHERE ITS HAND-MOUTH THINGS USED TO BE, and Buttercup wakes up in Jack’s arms and blushes. She’s now got a crush on him.

 Because fuck you.

 AND WITH THIS CHILD STILL IN HIS ARMS, AS THIS ARMLESS, SPIKE-DICKED DRAGON STARTS RUNNING TOWARDS HIM, JACK RAISES HIS BLADE AND PULLS THE ANIME SLICING BULLSHIT THAT YOU’VE SEEN IN EVERY ANIME AND MOVIE EVER. AND HE KILLS IT.

The day is saved…I guess? The kids look on from the windows, because the teachers I’m guessing DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT GETTING THESE JUDS TO SAFETY WHEN THERE’S A FUCKING DRAGON IN WHAT’S ESSENTIALLY THE SCHOOL’S PLAYGROUND.

Now. Who sent this dragon? Why was it made?

WHY IT WAS MOJO JOJO OF COURSE! WHO IS WATCHING FROM A DISTANCE. SPECIFICALLY A COUPLE FUCKING FEET, BUT THE OTHERS CAN’T SEEM TO FUCKING HEAR HIS MONOLOGUE DESPITE THIS OR ARE ABLE TO SEE THIS GREEN MONKEY WITH THE SWIRL HELMET WITH THEIR PERIPHERAL FUCKING VISION.

Another plan of his to destroy the powerpuff girls that, come to think of it, really did almost work it axing one of them, but was defeated through the power of anime bullshit. But before Mojo Jojo can escape without being seen, he’s stopped by that Loli from earlier. “Another powerpuff girl” (never explained as of ten chapters in) named Bell. And as she grabs Jojo by the throat, she tells him that her father wants a word with him as monsters surround her.

Monsters that, again, NOBODY SEEMS TO FUCKING NOTICE OR BRING UP DESPITE BEING IN A PUBLIC SETTING. LIKE. AT ALL.

And with that, that’s the end of the first two chapters and the conclusion of the first arc. And this is just the beginning, my dudes. It gets MUCH stupider.

Mandark is introduced. DeeDee is revealed to be DEAD. Like LEGIT FUCKING DEAD. AND DEXTER IS TRYING TO REBUILD HER WITH THIS BLOODY FUCKING ANDROID. AND THEN THE COMIC BECOMES THE DEXTER SHOW AS BLOSSOM IS KIDNAPPED AND DEXTER HAS TO NOW SAVE HIS WAIFU THAT HE TOTALLY DOESN’T THINK IS HIS GIRLFRIEND FROM MANDARK WHO HAS KIDNAPPED HER SO HE CAN KILL HER TO HAVE REVENGE FOR THE DEATH OF DEEDEE BECAUSE MANDARK LIKED DEEDEE, AND HE BLAMES DEXTER FOR HER DEATH, EVEN THOUGH TECHNICALLY IT’S HIS FAULT.

AND THEN INVADER ZIM AND GIR ARE INTRODUCED. AND GIR IS A GIRL NOW APPARENTLY? OH AND MEGAS XLR IS THERE. AND BILLY AND MANDY. AND A BUNCH OF OTHER CARTOON CHARACTERS THAT ARE JUST THERE BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. X-J9 IS THERE FOR A LITTLE BIT. THE MEN IN BLACK ARE THERE. TEEN TITANS AND THE JUSTICE LEAGUE ARE REFERENCED (WHICH BRINGS UP A WHOLE NEW CAN OF WORMS LATER ON DOWN THE LINE.)

IT’S A MESS.

It’s a car wreck of different shit that’s trying to be this edgy high school anime with blood and death while also incorporating your favorite cartoon characters from EVERY channel imaginable in this cutesy anime art style, complete with terrible dialogue and action sequences.

And…it’s almost kind of funny? As you’ve seen, it’s frustrating to think about. But it’s that fun kind of frustrating, where you can’t just help but laugh at how STUPID everything is. And how DESPERATELY it wants you to take it seriously the instant it gets dark.

It gets relatively worse writing wise, as you’ve no doubt noticed with that whole shpiel about the Mandark arc. But the characters drift from being themselves to being this kind of former shell of their personalities until they’re completely unrecognizable. Dexter becomes this distant, tortured soul who has a thing for science. Blossom becomes the girl in distress as she’s tied to the hip with Dexter in wanting to understand him. Buttercup becomes a tsundere for Jack…because, again, fuck you. And Blossom is just…there.

Also GIR is there and gets annoying. REALLY. FUCKING. QUICK.

But aside from that…yeah, it’s fucking terrible. Nothing good in it. At all. No redeeming qualities to be found. I only recommend it if you’re interested in going down the rabbit hole and laughing all the way down as you do because it’s just so terrible that it becomes a ball to laugh at.

And that’s all I would have to say on the matter…except for one little, kind of EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THING. And that’s the writer and artist. And how he may or may not be a pedophile.

Now I didn’t know this going into it this time around, I only found out about it while reading up on who the fuck made this shit for this little thing.

Now the art-style itself doesn’t show anything REALLY pedophilic. (Nothing I haven’t seen done far worse in an actual anime that tries to save itself, anywho.) The most you get are a couple high-skirt shots that are more part of the action sequences. There’s a beach section that you are afraid might get REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, but it doesn’t go that direction. They never get naked. There’s no sex. It’s all just a bunch of anime tropes. With Lolis. Only the Lolis are actually in elementary school. (At least, as of chapter 10. I haven’t read past that. Nor do I really want to.) My point is, it didn’t feel malicious. Stupid and terrible, but not malicious.

But I can’t say the same for the next thing I’m going to look at.

This may have been a fun, stupid and brain numbing romp through memory lane for me (with a couple disturbing realizations towards the end,) but it didn’t do anything that crossed the line into offensive and terrible shit. I don’t think anything I’ve talked about has gone that far. The closest of which being the Barbara thing in the Killing Joke adaptation. But even then...they never went this fucking far. 

Within the pages of the infamous and dreaded “Grim Tales.”

 To be continued…

[shirotanis]

♧ tiddy

You’re my: $wa9 b3sti3 haha yol0 motherfuckers we are proud to ve homiesexeualsHow I met you: when we were both single we met on omegle under the tag /tiddies n tears 🤡 fr idk back when i had my stray kids sideblog and you dmed me about how my url (jeonging) was cute JFJGHSKJ and we both suck at keeping the convo so it died out 2 seconds later and we interacted again after months so sad:(Why I follow you: excellent content !!!! love your screaming about your gf and ganggang's tiddiesYour blog is: tiddies Your URL is: that kid from stray kids w the good conturing :/Your icon is: a loli from some weeb shit is that what ur into?A random fact I know about you: you look and dress like a fucken model can we swap 🤠General opinion: youre either stressed or horny or both theres rlly no in betweenA random thought I have: why tf do you think i wanna have *** w a rock bro..send me an emoji 💌

[horrible-monstrosity]

mah juice brige

chise dad can punch gosts i guess We see a bit of memory that Chise couldn't have seen, where a monater wrecks shit at the mom's work, and for some reason the monter asks if she wants help (presumably picking things up). And she freaks out. Okay? What would happen if she accepted the offer? The apparition whispering to the mom to kill Chise seems to have Chise's hair. Does this mean anything?... "you're the mom that exists inside of me" is this literally eva

I find it interesting that gost joseph- who is ghost Joseph, and why does he look like Joseph/Carto? I- I guess he's the embodiment of the immortality curse, but why does he look like... whichever one of them he looks like? What did Carto even look like before Joseph bodyjacked him, anyway? Whose hair does current Joseph have, his own (similarly styled but blonde) hair or Carto's? What's the relationship between Carto, Joseph and the curse such that it would come out looking like one of them? ... don't think about it - Anyway, it's interesting that gost Josh is almost the only one to ask for nothing in return. It takes Chise's prompting for him to put forward anything, and when he does it's... Joseph, I guess, saying "help me". it's interesting but i don't know what's happening help

what happened to titania's tits where did they go she's a fuckin loli now this is not okay, its not I don't really get why Titania did a fancy branch thing rather than appearing in person but Oberon just shows up.

So there's this thing happening here, I think, where the anime writers are trying to make this event from the manga into a conclusion for the anime when it was never designed for that. It tries to bring some extra significance to what eliot's doing when it doesn't really matter (of course he's going berserk to get Chise back, but she's not in the sort of danger that has him racing against the clock, so the outcome doesn't really matter) and gets in a sequence to drag in all the old characters, but the story here is clearly about Joseph. Really. I'm not just biased because I've taken a liking to him or anything! It's this awkward thing where they're trying not to change the source material (probably because of decades of adaptational-purity faggots crying about "muh changye thign !!!" just because the manga got tweaked to match the pacing of an anime series and have an actual conclusion so the anime wouldn't be kinda shit), but as a result they've made these awkward large-but-minor meaningless changes so that they don't have to write their own couple episodes more suited to a conclusion arc, or change up and create or skip chapters beforehand so a better event ends up landing on the last episodes. (Of course the purity fags are still blaming "muh change anime!!" for all the show's problems since they didn't make something written in one medium magically perfect for another without doing anything...) Or maybe the actual manga was actually like this. Fuck, I dunno.

"don't go near him!!" say the dumbasses hanging out by the cemetery ... just leave then faggots ... young joseph was a ridiculously good boye. he work hard and does a kindness and endures unexplained cruelty with a smile on his face. they call him both a witch and a witch's son. can males be witches in this timeline? why do they hate him so much just for digging graves, anyway? who're his parents? which one of his parents is the witch? what is happening """become one"" o- oh, joseph, no-o-o, you don't do wanna that. Like I don't think they look too kindly on homos in this time period, but necrophilia's gotta be right out. Plus, think of the diseases.... - Really, him being the bestest good boye makes him randomly deciding to bodysnatch Mr. Rotting Corpse really... um, something. Maybe the intention was that he was secretly unhinged the whole time or that he finally just snapped, but... still, why do *this*? If he wanted to leave with the guy he could always just... leave, instead of taking the body of a walking corpse. Actually, how and *what* did he do to "become one" with Mr. Corpse? Did he, like, transplant his own head onto the body? Does the brain in the body rot? Does he need to steal someone's brain every few decades and replace it like he does his limbs? Also why only steal limbs? Why not just take a whole body? Seems like it would... keep better for longer if kept intact. I know, it's magic so don't ask questions, but c'mon give me something to work with here. What the fuck is happening

he steals a gril's feet, which is all he needs to walk properly, don't need to fix those other leg muscles or anything, and keeps the girly-ass shoes on. lol ok

cartophilio... threw a rock at the son of god. our boi joseph got rocks threw at him and became cartophilileo. ? ? ? ? ? what does it mean Actually, I don't know nothing bout bible shit, but why would motherfucking Jesus curse somebody like this? I thought he was the main man of forgiveness. Condemning someone to eternal suffering for throwing a rock (which surely they weren't the only one doing) seems excessive. Plus, why is bible shit being brought in when the show was mostly about pagan shit up until now?

o shiet monsterhand fight .. this becomes almost comical. Joseph cries "why me??" over being interrupted when he was so close to true death... basically because this bunch of rando fuckers showed up and piecemeal attacked him with whatever random shit they brought along with them. And then like half of them left or went in another direction. there's no way the original manga was like this... right?...

Marielle could have stopped Joseph, but didn't. Chise could have told her to stop him, but di- she turned into a cow. No, sorry, a bull. D- ... did she grow bollocks?

cartophililulelo

Isn't there a spell that could stop or at least delay or slow the rotting, or chase off the insects? Surely there's magic preservatives or the like. but because he isn't the only one suffering something at all, lol fuk You think you're in the right just because you tried to die? he says, as she... randomly tries to beat the shit out of him. ?? I can't follow what's happening anymore inject ashy eye Cartophi unleashes a wave of millipedes way larger than his body should have been able to contain. Who do you think you are, Cinnabar? ash calls that one fairy "a fairy with a mind"? implying... what? The monterarms battle gets cut off for Elliot-fairy fusion verse Ashy Eye. ... Did they actually kill Ashy? I can't actually imagine they did; he's the sort of character who exists to just be as overpowered and irritating as possible, just doing whatever it wants or whatever the plot needs because "LOL I FEEL LIEK IT~" and because they pressed the "be overpowered" button no one can ever call him out on his shit or stop him. I don't really like characters like this, can you tell?

Chise shits at Cartoboi for hurting other people in search of what he wants, but... he just fucking wants to die. Do you want him to... not die? The only solution here according to her is that he just keeps on existing through the worst suffering any being could experience- Chise even admits he has it worse than her- and just keeps it all to himself. How dare he try and do something to solve his massive life-ruining eternal problem, huh. Even though Ellias was just there, they had to insert a pre-arranged generic magic connection for him to come back and catch Joseph. what why i don't know or understand what's happening anymore And then Chise sweetly sings Carto to sleep and that fixes everything. ........ Just do that sooner.

... And carto isn't even dead. great. what was even resolved here? ... Wait, did his arms get back to normal somehow? See, now Chise and Ellias are finally gettig married, and I don't even care becaaause this plot was about Joseph and they haven't actually concluded it. fuc

tl;dr finale was disappointing, show was disappointing, joseph is best boi 0/10

..... Seriously, even the buildings in the ED were from Joseph's mindspace. Or wherever it was they ran off to. So why did they keep Joseph alive? Is it to punish him? Because I'm not sure what could be a worse punishment than the life he's led up until this point. Unless it's some ironic pseudo-punishment that's like "live the rest of your life out normally and happily until you die of natural causes, you fuck" I just... guess this was Chise's response to hearing whoever it was cry out "help me, save me". Who was it? It was a pre-emptive callback to Carto-corpsis calling to Joseph for help in the flashback, so I guess it was Joseph calling out in his heart, despite happily saying he hates Chise and wants to die... or it was the ghost of Carto, or the embodiment of the curse. I- I don't know. Anyway, I guess this was Chise deciding or realizing what Joseph really needed was not death but... uh, this. Life. lol what naow thoooooooo