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litgwritersroom · 1 year

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Could you write something for Rocco, please? Poor boy needs some love - and a redemption arc. In villa, post villa, AU...

I will also accept food truck smut 🤣

THE COLOUR THAT YOU ARE

Rocco / MC - 3000+ - @mrsbsmooth

A mess of auburn curls, tanned skin, eyes that looked like nature. And around him, an explosion of colour.

For as long as she could remember, Freya had been able to see things that no one else could see. Her Yaya called it the gift. She was proud that her granddaughter had it too.

Freya’s siblings rolled their eyes whenever she said anything, and the kids at school made fun of her. So she stopped telling people.

It was hard, sometimes, to see past the colours, but she mostly learned to ignore them. Most people were brown, which Yaya said meant they were just normal, everyday people. Materialistic people who hadn’t opened their minds; who trudged through their everyday routine, focused on nothing more than their own problems.

Yaya was blue. She’d always been blue, but the colour seemed to change with the day. Some days, it was warm and sapphired as the ocean, and others, light and airy as the sky. She could always tell Yaya’s mood based on the colour; swirling and dancing through the air around her body. Lighter meant she was feeling good. Darker meant she was tired. And towards the end of her days, Yaya’s aura was navy; such a deep, shimmering blue it was almost black.

It was Freya who held her hand as she passed.

She didn’t care much for people’s colours after that.

Occasionally, she’d see someone in the street that caught her eye. Like the broad, business-type man, screaming about stocks into his mobile phone, whose magenta-pink aura betrayed his inner kindness. The small girl in the tutu, whose cloud of tomato-red made Freya giggle. Impulsive, impatient, and probably a little fiery. Her poor parents.

But every now and again, someone would see hers, too.

They were always older - and often unassuming. A man at the park. An elderly lady on the bus, furrowing their brow as they looked at her before their eyes widened, and they smiled at her. Freya didn’t know what colour she was. She’d never tried to check. She knew what the colours meant, and she didn’t want to know.

In fact, she hated that she could see them at all.

It felt intrusive, in a way, to know so much about a person without even knowing their name - without them knowing that she could see their very soul; the very essence of their being. She hadn’t asked permission to see them so clearly, and it felt so wrong that she could do it without asking. She certainly didn’t like the idea that strangers could know so much about her.

So she kept her eyes to herself.

Until him.

She hadn’t planned to go to the park that day, but warm days were rare in a Belfast autumn. She’d overheard some high school students on the bus talking about a food truck that was stationed out there. They’d laughed and made fun of it, giggling about the loser who owned it, an older guy who flirted with everyone, and smoked too much weed to care that he was selling alcohol to minors.

So she’d slowly walked, soft music in her ears until she’d seen the truck. There was a line of people, most of them young, and as she drew closer, she saw the sign.

Cocktails & Cronuts.

She couldn’t help but be confused by the weird mix of breakfast and late-evening treats, but something drew her closer. She joined the back of the line, the girl working the counter smiling broadly as each customer stepped up, quickly pulling pastries from a cabinet behind her, and talking animatedly to someone in the back. But as Freya drew closer, she started to feel… weird.

There was something in the air; something wiry; as if walking through a cloud of static electricity. She tried to keep her eyes focussed in front of her, but the girl working the counter seemed to furrow her brow as she approached. The girl kept glancing sideways, growing seemingly concerned, talking hurriedly to the person that Freya couldn’t see. But with every step, the feeling only grew stronger, and she fell within earshot of the girl at the counter.

“Rocco - are you sure? Do you need to sit down? You’re looking–”

And then Freya saw him. A mess of auburn curls, tanned skin, eyes that looked like nature.

And around him, an explosion of colour.

There were so many she could barely take him in, a mess of hue and pigment, like an artist’s palette discarded at the end of the day. Orange, green, white, red, yellow, blue, indigo; he was every colour at once, dancing around him with not swirl, but floodwater. There was something so unsettling about it, like she could feel the restlessness within him.

She’d never seen anyone like him.

Orange people were creative, and had to learn lessons from experience. Indigo people were empaths, who absorbed the trauma and emotions of others. Green people couldn’t be tied down, but red people were stubborn. Blue said ‘ungrounded’, but white meant ‘perfectionist’.

How could he be all of them at once?

He must’ve felt her gaze, because he turned toward her, his brow furrowing as his eyes met her own. He looked at her; really looked at her; that stare so focussed and intense, as if pleading, begging her to see him. She couldn’t tear her eyes from his, something about him drawing her in. There was something about him, something about the tumult of his soul that had her aching to know him.

To know how someone could be so many colours at once.

But before she could even say anything, he looked away. Almost in an instant, she saw his colours darken, as if by seeing him so clearly, she’d somehow bruised him. It hurt her to watch, a pang of pain through her stomach as he turned his entire body away from her.

“I’m gonna take a quick break,” he muttered to the girl behind the counter, before hurriedly moving through a curtained-off area.

The girl frowned, but turned back to face Freya with a smile. “Sorry about my brother, he’s a bit of a weirdo.”

Freya smiled politely back at her, and ordered her food, deciding at the last minute to skip the cocktail. She took her cronut to the far side of the park, spreading her jacket out to sit against a tree, and tore piece after piece from the flaky pasty.

Who was this guy? His sister had called him Rocco. How could he be so many colours at once? And why was he so… so…

Scared?

She couldn’t stop thinking about him.

She’d never seen anything like it, and she was almost certain she’d never see someone like him again. She wished for her Yaya, for the guidance she could give, wishing she was more religious so that she could ask for a sign to point her in the right direction.

Google was no help, neither were any books she found in Yaya’s things. Freya paced around her apartment, trying to figure it out, on the verge of calling one of those psychic hotlines and asking someone who actually knew what they were doing.

She knew she should just forget it. She knew it was weird that she was thinking about him this much. For all he knew, she was just some girl; staring at him way too hard, and coming back to stare at him again.

But she just needed answers.

It was almost a week later when she finally went back, and when she did, Rocco wasn’t there. His sister was running the truck by herself, laughing and kidding around with the few customers she had. But as Freya got to the front of the line, she seemed to brighten.

“It’s you!” she gasped. “You’re back!”

Freya looked up at her questioningly, and the girl beamed at her.

“Rocco’s been rambling about you all week. Freaking out, and going on like ‘she saw me. She could see me’. None of us have any idea what he’s on about.”

Freya took a deep breath, almost closing her eyes, as she let a small smile pull at her cheek.

“I know what he means.”

The girl shook her head, laughing to herself. “Well, that makes one of us. He’s just gone off to clear his head. He should be b— oh!”

Freya felt him before she saw him, his presence warming her back, even though she could feel that he was still quite a distance away. She turned, and was almost blinded once more, his disarray of colours even more muddled than before.

It was like staring too hard at a Monet, watching the watercolours bleed together in a swirl of uncertainty. It was beautiful, in its way, but so… so…

He paused as he saw her, before taking a deep breath of his own. He reached her side, meeting her gaze once more, and exhaled, a single word parting his lips.

“Hey.”

They walked for what seemed like hours, sometimes in silence, sometimes making small talk, but not yet acknowledging what they both already knew. They came to a stop at a small clearing, and he sat, leaning against a large oak tree, his arms resting on his bended knees.

“I don’t know why.”

Freya sat on the ground beside him, watching intently as he stared off into the distance.

“I don’t know why I look like this,” he frowned.

“Can you see it?” she asked, but he just shook his head.

Freya furrowed her brow, silently asking him the question, and he spoke softly.

“I had someone tell me, once. An old lady in Greece. She pulled me aside and told me my aura was… different. I didn’t really understand what she was saying. I thought she was just a bit, you know, off. But she–” He turned his body toward Freya’s, meeting her eye once more, sending shiver down her spine. “She looked at me the same way you did. Like she could see something really bad. And I just… I don’t know why.”

Freya nodded, holding his gaze, almost distracted as his aura began to grey.

“I’ve never seen one like yours.”

He waited patiently for her to continue, the breeze blowing softly through the curls that made him look like some kind of fallen angel.

She smiled softly at him. “It’s not bad, at least I don’t think so. It’s just so… different. Most people have one colour, maybe two if they’re in a transition period. But yours is everything; every colour; every emotion all at once. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

He furrowed his brow, pursing his lips together. “What does it mean?”

Freya shook her head. “I don’t know. My Yaya was the one who knew what it all meant, and she died a long time ago. I can see the colours, and I know what they mean individually, but I don’t know what it means to have so many at once.”

Rocco paused, looking over at her once more, and she held his gaze.

“What do you think it means?”

“I told you, I don’t know. I just–”

“Please.”

There was something so honest in his eyes, and she was suddenly overcome with the realisation.

He believed her.

No one since her Yaya had believed her when she’d told them about her gift. And here he was, this guy she’d barely met, and he did. She could see it in his eyes, in the honesty of his colours, the purple seeming to pulsate as he trusted his intuition.

She could feel him, every swirling cloud of his presence, almost like he was drawing her in. There was something there, just under the surface, something she could almost see. She closed her eyes, letting the colours engulf her, feeling them instead of seeing them.

So looked up at him once more.

“I think it means you’re trapped. It’s like your soul is being pulled in sixteen different directions, and none of them are what you want. It’s torture, and it’s breaking you apart from inside, like you have no idea who or what you’re supposed to be. When I look at it, there’s no sense to it, there’s no consistency. The colours around you are like an oil slick on top of water. It’s beautiful, so very beautiful; but there’s something about it that’s just… so–.”

“Suffocating."

She watched as he whispered it. He swallowed deeply, as if trying to suppress the emotion that had just risen in his throat. There was such pain in his eyes, as if she’d brushed by a part of him that he never realised was hurting. She couldn’t help but wonder what had brought him there. Was it a girl? Or just the weight of his own expectations; choking him with each day that he woke up to walk a path that seemed to trip him at every turn?

She wondered what it would be like to see him without his aura, to see him as others did; and she furrowed her brow.

A little dishevelled. Tiredness under his eyes. A frayed bracelet that had meant something once, but now, he wore just to look like he had a story. The impractical sandals for the brisk autumn day, the loose shirt and the earthy smell of weed in his hair. He looked broken, like he'd had his face shoved into the dirt one too many times. Like his carefree facade was a single judgemental glance away from falling apart forever.

How could they know - how could any of them know? They couldn’t see him the way that she could. They could see the outward appearance. They could see the truck, and the weed, and the rampant flirting.

But they couldn’t see him.

They didn’t see the creativity in his orange. The compassion in his green. The kindness in his pink, or the empathy in his indigo. They couldn’t feel the warmth of his blue, or the energy of his red. There was a universe inside him that only she could see. That even he couldn’t see.

And it was beautiful.

As the sunlight softened his features, she looked harder, her eyes searching for a pattern in the mayhem of hues. It was there, she knew it was there, she just needed him to breathe.

Freya took his hand, and he almost recoiled, but with a slight reluctance, he laced his fingers with hers. She said nothing, just held his hand, as the two of them stared at the distant horizon, lingering in the comfortable silence.

There was something so wonderful about his presence; in the warmth of his hand, and the way that setting sun illuminated the gold in his skin. The steady rumble of his breath, and the sound of his voice as he finally spoke.

“Do you believe in fate?” he asked, still not looking at her.

She smiled. “I suppose?”

“Do you think that we were maybe… supposed to meet?”

She didn’t react, just looked over at him, smiling encouragingly as he mulled over the thoughts in his head.

“Because when you first came last week… I felt… something. Like I knew you were there before I saw you.”

Freya nodded. “I felt it too.”

“So what does that mean?”

She smiled, shrugging her shoulders gently. “Who knows? Maybe we were meant to meet. There’s no way of knowing, really.”

They fell into silence once more, and she brushed her thumb over his hand. He responded in kind, relaxing with each trace of her thumb over his skin.

He was so out of place in this cold, dreary autumn, like he’d been born in the wrong place. Perhaps it was her own fascination with him, but the few rays of sunlight that still shone seemed to focus on him. They caught the green in his eyes, the pink of his lips, the dark auburn of his hair; the masterpiece of beauty and colour that she couldn’t understand why people couldn’t see.

“Have you ever travelled?” she asked.

He shook his head. “One trip to visit my Grandmother in Greece. Other than that… never.”

And suddenly, she knew the answer.

She turned her body to his, squeezing his hand tighter as her heart began to race.

“Let’s go together.”

Rocco turned to look at her, his brow furrowed, and his colours began to swirl with excitement. His eyes were focussed. Serious. Present.

“Go where?”

Freya couldn’t help it, that same electricity burrowing deep under her skin, as that energy between them seemed to charge.

“Wherever you want to go.”

As they made their way back to the food truck, there was something different about him. The colours were still there, of course they were. But now, they seemed to… shimmer, like they, too, had felt the electricity. Rocco and Freya arrived back at the food truck, and he stumbled over his words a little as he excitedly told his sister he was going away for a while. She raised an eyebrow, but ultimately, smiled and shook her head; as if she’d known that one day, she’d watch him do something exactly like this.

Freya stopped by her apartment, letting her landlord know she’d be gone for a while, threw some clothes and shoes in a backpack, and grabbed her passport on the way out the door. She hopped on the train to the airport, and walked into the international terminal, the electricity growing with every step.

And there he was.

He looked up at her, and smiled, looking as nervous as a kid on his first day of school, his rucksack thrown over his shoulder. As soon as she reached him, he slipped his hand into hers, and she could feel he was shaking.

“What do you think?” she asked, turning his attention toward the board of departing flights. “Peru? Kenya? Indonesia?”

He looked over the board, his brow furrowed, but paused. He closed his eyes, taking a breath, and opened them again, smiling softly to himself. He stepped closer, wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her into his side.

“Thailand.”

She nodded, before standing on her tippy-toes, and kissed his cheek. Rocco smiled shyly, that same beautiful energy radiating from his skin, his eyes full with gratitude as she saw him in his entirety.

He was beautiful. He was so beautiful, in his mess of colours and tones, in his opposites and his hypocrisy. He was real, so unbelievably real.

And he was here.

She ran her fingers through those auburn curls, holding his gaze, and smiled softly back at him.

“Let’s go and find out who you are.”

#litg #litg fanfic #litg Rocco #litg season 2 #mrsbsmooth #litg writers room #writers room #love island the game #ask #writing prompt

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willkimurashat · 2 months

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Writing Patterns

Thank you for tagging me @queen-of-boops @justtuesdays @mrsbsmooth and @0shewrites0 💕💕💕

Rules: Share the first paragraph of your last five published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!

1. Serendipity

She couldn’t see a thing. Neither the shape of the room, nor the edges of the bed, or rather the mattress propped against the wall, pillows haphazardly thrown on top and barely covered with a blanket. She couldn’t see the last sunrays penetrating through the open window, casting their amber glows across her skin, painting shadows over her curves, outlining the planes of his carved out body, and highlighting the perfect angles of his slim face.

2. You Don’t Spell It, You Feel It

Do you believe in fairytales? I sure did, without shame. When Santa dips his cookies in milk and the chimney becomes a little too tight for him to squeeze through. When stuffed animals become your closest friends and come to life at night for you to confide in them your deepest secrets. When the rainbow maps the location of the treasured gold, destined to be lost and to never be found. Fairytales make us believe, and believing makes life worth living.

3. Beloved & Beloathed

Many things in life come in pairs. Sometimes they’re inseparable, like scissors, or glasses, or a Twix bar. Sometimes, they’re at opposite ends, tugging on each other for balance, like left and right, hot and cold, heaven and hell. Yet other times, they can exist on their own, but are only really useful when they’re together. Like paintbrush and watercolor, or a pair of chopsticks, or buying two shirts during the sale where the ad clearly reads “Buy one – get one free.”

4. We Spoke in Flower

I always hated the rain. Ironic, given I live in England. I just never got the appeal of the aesthetic. It’s rather difficult to look on the bright side, when all you see is grey skies and your skin doesn’t receive enough vitamin D. Runny mascara is much too angsty for me; the cold droplets almost piercing through my goosebump-covered skin, reaching straight to the bone. Leaky shoes, damp socks, dirt-splattered trousers, soaking wet collar. And umbrellas. Of course, umbrellas are always a pain. I’ve just given up on carrying them altogether – what’s the point anyway? I lost count of how many brollies I’ve broken or how many times I’d left one at home, naively hoping the sun is there to stay, only for it to start pouring. A useless invention, if you ask me.

5. Snog, Marry, Die

Oxford dictionary defines vengeance as a “punishment inflicted, or retribution exacted for an injury or wrong.” Anyone would hardly ever connect a free summer holiday under Mallorca sun, surrounded by hot singles, with “an injury or wrong.” And yet, each day spent locked in the villa, with the islanders constantly lying to her face, overexaggerating, following her around, stirring drama, and cheating behind her back chipped away her sanity. Piece by piece. Cell by cell. Atom by atom. Until she was way beyond her boiling point. Until the only thing that filled her, was the idea of punishment for all the wrongs she had to endure. Vengeance.

Tagging: @libelle949 @tammyisobsessedwith @operationnope @ellegreenwxy - no pressure! And sorry if you’ve already been tagged👉👈

#in this house we love starting fics with short sentences lol #tagged #tag game #litg #love island the game #litg fanfiction #litg fanfic #serendipity #you don't spell it you feel it #ydsiyfi #beloved & beloathed #b&b #we spoke in flower #wsif #snog marry die #smd

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tammyisobsessedwith · 5 months

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20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag @mrsbsmooth 🥰

How many works do you have on AO3?

24. I also have another 40 fics posted on my old ff.net account that I always mean to cross-post and forget 😅

What’s your total AO3 word account?

366,872. I have another 321,055 words in ff.net. I had no idea it was that much!

What fandoms do you write for?

In AO3, I have works for the MCU (Captain America, The Avengers), plus What If…? And Agents of SHIELD, Love Island the Game, Too Hot To Handle: Love is a Game and Heaven’s Secret (Romance Club).

In ff.net I still have fics for Sailor Moon, Harry Potter, Chicago PD, Chicago Med, Chicago Fire, Grey’s Anatomy, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Mentalist.

Top five fics by kudos

To Build a Home (MCU)

Avengers Initiative: Reset (MCU/Agents of SHIELD/What if…?)

Drawing Hope on the Skyline (MCU)

A Real Relationship (LITG)

Lights Will Guide You Home (MCU)

Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes. I’m admittedly very bad at engaging back, I used to be way better at it when I was publishing things regularly. I still love and appreciate all the comments and kudos so much!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I guess that would be Stuck, but then it’s got a sequel where it’s not such a sad ending after all.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

My oneshots are usually happy endings. I have so many unfinished WIPs, it’s a whole other thing. I guess To Build a Home is the only “long” project I ever finished and it’s my idea of a happy ending for the pairing.

Do you get hate on fics?

No. I think I only ever got one rude comment in all my fics, I can’t even remember what it was now, but I just deleted it and went on a tirade in my author’s note in the next chapter, I was really upset 😭

Do you write smut?

I started writing it in recent years. I’m not the best at it, but I find it very fun 🤭

Craziest crossover:

The only crossover I have is Avengers Initiative: Reset and it kind of makes sense since it’s all within the MCU and adjacent universe.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think one of my old fics in ff.net got translated into another language at some point, but I can’t really remember which one now. Oh and I used to translate my old fics into Portuguese too.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have, Love Island, Actually with my girls @i-boop-you, @crimswnred and @ellegreenwxy ❤️

All time favorite ship?

Considering the amount of words I wrote/read for them, it’s got to be Steve/Natasha (CapWidow, Romanogers) from the MCU. But I’m such a shipper, I have so many pairings I love.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sadly, all of them. I’m very bad at finishing projects and once I lose my inspiration to work on something it’s practically impossible I’ll get back into it at a later time.

What are your writing strengths?

I hate this question because I’m very bad at knowing myself as a writer. I’ve heard I’m good at dialogue tags, like I know how to convey the right reactions/emotions with a few words without getting too much into inner monologue. Which makes sense because usually I start writing something with the dialogue, the back and forth and then I’ll work on the scene around it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I also hate this question because I know there’s so much I need to work on, but it’s hard for me to list them all down at the same time. I mentioned I’m terrible at finishing long projects so that’s one. I know my characters when I’m writing them but at the same time it’s hard for me to translate that into my writing. I have a really hard time creating original characters, my MCs are just facets of myself in general, so it’s hard for me to really get into their characterization.

Thoughts on dialogues in another language?

I’m totally fine with it, I think I’ve done it in a couple of fics. As long as there’s the translation somewhere (author’s notes, in brackets or narration) I don’t mind.

First fandom you wrote in?

Sailor Moon, back when I was 14 years old and used an actual notebook.

Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ahhh there’s so many of them! I’m really proud of the ones I wrote for the MCU, they were a lot of fun. I have a Sailor Moon long fic I spent years writing, I still think of going back and finishing it. Recently I’ve been obsessed with Heaven’s Secret though so if I have to pick one it’s probably Prayers on his Lips. It was just so much fun getting back into writing after I went through a very long pause in all my projects.

#tag game #tammy gets tagged

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longbobmckenzie · 9 months

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Three things for 2023 🤍

Tell me 2-3 fics you loved reading in 2023

Tell me at least one fic you loved writing in 2023

Tell me something you’re looking forward to (in general) in 2024

Thanks "anon" 🤍

ONLY 2-3?!?! Um, all the gift fics I received. I absolutely adored them! They were all amazing and I look forward to reading them again and again, but I do need to especially shout out Lavender Haze by @lucas-koh because it came totally out of the blue and is such an absolute perfect characterization of Henrik - and he's doing his thing with wilderness survival and it's extremely hot! I'm also gonna give a nod to @eskiix's Playing By Your Rules. I had an absolute blast beta reading this fic, and like all fics I've ever beta'd, it's like one of my children that I'm super proud of even if I didn't write it myself (although I might have influenced Bea into giving Henrik the screentime he deserved, mwahaha - she caught onto my tricks though). It's a fantastic fic that I think everyone should read even if they're not Lucas stans Third, @queen-of-boops' Deep Dive. There simply aren't enough Levi fics, let alone chaptered ones, and this one is enemies with benefits to lovers? Like, talk about perfection?! I know Mo is really proud of this one, and for good reason - I think it really showcases her growth as a writer, and it's just all-around really good. I was gonna tryyyy to keep this to 3 but as always, I can't. So you're gonna get a bonus one, and that's Filthy by @mrsbsmooth. Honestly, find yourself someone who's willing to take your fic ideas and turn them into whatever this is (extremely affectionate). I am still blown away by how good this is, because foursomes are not at all easy to write, and Suzi smashed it - and it only took her, like, a week? Honestly, I would kill for even a quarter of her ability to whip out so much great smut in such a short amount of time

Ooh. I mean, I've loved writing each of my chaptered fics at times, but I've also spent plenty of time poking my eyes out with them. Same with my Roberto oneshots. I loved writing each and every one of my fics, though, otherwise I wouldn't have written them. I'm gonna highlight one that didn't get much attention though, and that's cocked and loaded. It's Henrik/Lucas, which is my OTP. It's got Henrik's brothers in it, and they're so much fun. It's got Lucas's tense relationship with his dad. It's mafia and forbidden romance, with a bit of action... and I was in @chroniccomicobsession's DMs joking about calling it 'cocked and loaded' and saying it sounded like a bad porno, but then I kind of ended up falling in love with the name and it still makes me giggle every time 🤭

2024... Damn, you're making me think too far ahead. It's still 2023 here for another 4.5 hours! Um, I'm just looking forward to another year of spending time with family and good friends, doing hobbies I enjoy, and hopefully just having a good, chill, drama-free year!

Thanks again, and I'll finally shut the fuck up now

#longbob answers asks

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alsworld-litg · 2 years

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Nayvie - Chapter 1 (title TBD)

Feeling very exposed by posting this, however I've had this idea for a novel and Nayvie as a character in my head for longer than I can remember. This is my first attempt at getting her on paper and I truly hope you enjoy. Thank you @luckyqueenreign and @mrsbsmooth for inspiring me to just start writing. Please please be brutally honest with me. Open to all advice as I develop this story over time. Word count - 1711 Trigger Warning - mentions of cheating/infidelity, drinking

Nayvie Chapter 1:

One thing was for certain… my marriage was over. What’s worse, my husband, Dr. Charles Sinclair, wasn’t aware of it yet.

The inner turmoil of this fact was tumbling around in my head at lightning speed.

“Which is worse?” I said out loud to the silence of our 3,000 sq foot colonial built home.

“Having your spouse tell you they’re leaving coupled with a screaming match and the dramatics of physically leaving to mark the end; or a one-sided discovery of infidelity?”

A mark of ‘The End’ that only I was currently aware of.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that.” the Alexa in the kitchen rang out.

“Yeah, me either” I whispered.

I usually liked the quiet. Between our 5-year-old twin girls, Fallon and Arlowe, or my 6-year-old Standard Poodle, Archie, the house was rarely silent. I loved weekends like this, when Charles headed out of town for conferences or other Cardiology related events. He’d load up the girls and the dog in the Range Rover and send them to Gaga’s house (my mother’s house), before heading out of town. He’d always leave the fridge stocked with wine, the coffee table stocked with books, and the master bath stocked with candles and bath salts for me.

If he got to take a break from our life, I did too. That’s been his mentality and our little tradition since we brought the girls home. No matter how much I ensured him I’d be happy to have alone time with them while he was away, he wouldn’t have it. It started as a sweet gesture, then we’d “fight” about it every time he had to go away, then my Mother got in on the fight (because she’d have the girls with her 24/7 if she could), and from there it became easier to just expect that this is how it would go when Charles was away.

My friends were envious of these “Mommy Weekends”, as they called them.

“What I wouldn’t give for John to just offer to do a load of laundry every now and then.” Rachel would always say. “Seriously, if you two ever call it quits, I call dibs!”, she’d add sarcastically.

But that is Charles; the ever considerate, caring, thoughtful man that he always is… or was. I was lucky to be married to not only a brilliant man, but one that so tenderly cared for his wife and the mother of his children’s wellbeing.

Now though, the silence of this “Mommy Weekend” was mocking me. I opened up the bottle of Sauvignon Blanc from the fridge and didn’t even bother with a glass as I strolled through the house trying to slow down my thoughts.

What am I going to do about this?

How am I going to let Charles know that I know?

Do I let Charles know that I know? Of course I do… right? I can’t stay with a cheating man… can I?

What about the girls?

What about the house?

What about me?

Should I change the locks and throw all his belongings in the front yard before he returns?

Do I take the girls and leave town?

Should I call Audra to begin combing through the pre-nup and filing the papers?

How did I get into this mess?

Half way through my bottle of Sav, I came to a stop in front of our wedding pictures. Him looking movie star gorgeous in his white tux with a jawline that could cut glass, and me, the classic, elegant bride in a Reem Acara all over lace ball gown. I loved these photos. They were breathtaking, editorial, and timeless. The photos even had their own spread in Vogue Weddings - Top Cardiologist ties the knot with esteemed Interior Designer - the headline read.

Scanning the details of Charles’ face sent a sudden shiver down my spine. A smile that used to ooze debonair, now resembled the Cheshire Cat’s malicious and toothy grin. Had the signs really been there all along?

No.

No Nayvie. You are not going to do this.

You are not going to sit here and psychoanalyze every part of your marriage, one that up until tonight has been nothing short of perfect over the last 12 years.

Should I hate him now? Sure. Maybe. Because I do have every right too, but I will NOT allow myself to see him as the villain in my story. At least not until I figure out how this end comes to a real end.

I glanced over at the clock on the wall. 8:00pm. My Mother is likely in the middle of the girls’ bedtime routine. Even when they’re away, I still call to say ‘Goodnight’ to them every night.

“Hi Sweetie!” my mother’s voice rang out loudly. She’s never quite understood that you don’t have to yell through a cell phone for the other person to hear you.

“Hi Mom. How are the monsters treating you?”

“Hush it Nayvie. You know I hate when you call them monsters! They are perfect angels for GaGa!”

They really were angels, but my favorite pastime was pushing my Mom’s buttons, and calling them ‘monsters’ was the latest way to scratch that itch.

“Are Fallon and Arlowe still awake? Can I say goodnight to them?” I asked.

“Of course you can! But sweetie, are you okay? You sound sad.” she expressed her concern.

How does she freaking do that? I took a few calming breaths before even dialing her number because she has the super power of knowing when something is off, even when I sound completely normal. It was infuriating as a child and even more so now.

“Oh I’m fine Mom, just cracked open a bottle of wine already! Really enjoying my ‘Mommy Weekend’ early over here!” I tried casually to brush her concern off.

“You know I don’t believe you, but you know I’m here if you need me. Love you so much baby girl. Don’t drink too much! Let me go grab Fall-Fall and Arlie…. GIRLS COME SAY NIGHT NIGHT TO MAMA!”

I stifled a laugh and held the phone away from my ear as she screeched out for the girls. She’s the only one that uses those ridiculous nicknames but the twins love their GaGa fiercely. It’s funny, my Mother and I had a complicated relationship growing up. I was always closer with my Dad as she drove me bonkers, but ever since having the twins, they’ve had an attachment to her in a way I never did. Giving her the twins’ was giving her the relationship she and I never had. The unspoken apology I’ve never been able to muster up. GaGa knew that as well.

I hung up the phone with a single tear rolling down my cheek. It’s unbearable to think that life as we know it will change as soon as I decide to unleash this secret. I should be ugly-crying by now but I feel numb. How did we get here? Why am I the sole holder of this bomb when I’m not even the one that lit the fuse?

More questions. No answers. Well one answer… wine.

But wine is only a half truth for me right now. I’m still alone in this house with this deafening silence.

‘Fuck this.’ I thought. I do not have the mental capacity to be near people right now, but being alone was also not an option. This silence is crippling.

I grabbed the keys to my Bronco and texted my assistant Phoebe, “Hey Pheebs! You know I hate texting you on a Saturday, but please set up a meeting with Audra for Monday. Tell her it’s urgent.”

“Of course love! You okay? Anything else she needs to know?” she responded almost instantly.

That’s what I loved about Phoebe. I by no means expect her to be at my beck and call 24/7, but she’s dependable, reliable, and my constant. I would not have been able to build Nayvie Sinclair Designs to be what it is today without her, and she’ll be one of the first to know about this bomb I’m carrying, but not yet.

“All good, I’ll share with you soon. Can you also schedule us a private dining room at The Ravello for our meeting? She’ll know what it’s about. Love you so much, thanks for everything!”

“Okay Nav, your seriousness isn’t lost on me, but I won’t pry… yet. Don’t worry about anything, I’ve got it covered.”

“You know I’d die for you.” I texted back ending our exchange.

I hopped in the car and pulled out of the driveway. I started driving without a specific destination in mind, but a few things were for certain, my marriage was over, I couldn’t be in our house alone, and I wanted to go somewhere where no one knew my name.

The latter is difficult when you’re married to a top Cardiologist and you yourself have a lucrative design firm that’s helped curate a majority of the town's residential and commercial spaces over the years, making the Sinclair name a pillar of our community.

However, while my name was recognizable, Charles’ face was the one everyone knew. Charles would not approve of me going to West End, a side of town that’s more ‘coming’ than ‘up’, but that’s all the more reason it felt right to head that way.

Thirty minutes later I’m on Lee St. passing a dive bar simply named O Bar. However, only the letters B-A-R in the neon sign were illuminated making it look at first glance like this fine establishment didn’t even have a proper name, not that O Bar was a proper name either. The wood paneled exterior, blacked out windows, and the biker chick taking a smoke break out front only added to just how cliche this place really looked.

Type the words ‘Dive Bar’ into Google and this would be the exact picture that would pop up first.

The parking lot was empty aside from a blue pick-up truck, the shade of the Caribbean, and two Harley’s. I looked down at my crisp oversized white button down, straight leg blue-jeans, and Gucci slides and couldn't help but laugh.

Yup, this is exactly the place for me.

#writerscommunity #tumblr writer #first draft #first time writer #fanfic #romance writer

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eskiix · 2 years

Note

B, C, Q and U for the ask game please!

Thanks for the ask!

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

None of the actual plot for my published ones are my personal experience, however I did get a little self inserty with Jess while writing An Infinite Deal of Nothing. I used to work as a receptionist, had a little red car and a cat, and go clubbing in London with my friends on the regular - but other than that not really!

---

I answered C in a different ask, so I'll skip over that one :)

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

Ooo, I looove reading collabs and maybe if I have more time one day I would take part in one. But my life and upload schedule are all over the place as it is and I wouldn't want to mess anyone around/leave them waiting too long.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Oooo, great question!

@sparxaf because she shares my taste for delicious angst. She also writes the most beautiful detailed stories that breaks my heart and also fills me with so much joy and warm fuzzy feelings at the same time.

@longbobmckenzie because I'm forever in awe of how she can write single pov fics that are the slowest slow burns and keep me so invested in both the MC and the LI that I'll be screaming when they look at each other, let alone when they FINALLY kiss! Also, she's the most helpful person ever and knows how to use commas properly.

@mrsbsmooth obviously she writes incredible smut, but let's be real - her fluff and funny dialogue are seriously underrated. Welcome To Racers lives in my head rent free!

#bea talks #ask game

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luckyqueenreign · 2 years

Text

Come Back Home x Jaded

I was in awe and Inspired by @mrsbsmooth JADED writing prompt re: Suresh/MC – that I had to write from the MC perspective. I tried to follow their timeline but did change a few things around. I wasn’t sure if I should change the conversations fully, and decided I should keep them similar but change them a little as this was coming from the MC’s POV.

This is my first time, so please be kind lol.

** This also contains the spoilers from Episode 11 **

Story Inspo and credit: JADED @mrsbsmooth Suresh / MC

Come Back Home - Suresh / MC - MC POV

TODAY

For the past four months, Jade, had been hiding a big secret from Suresh. And tonight, it would all be revealed.

It all started the night of their one-year anniversary…

**4 Months Ago**

Jade walked into her apartment and gasped. All around her were beautiful, elaborate arrangements of all of her favorite flowers that took up every inch of her small flat. Short vases with pink hydrangeas and tall and large ones with different types of exotic flowers. As she walked around the maze that was now her apartment, she found Suresh sitting in the living room taking in her sheer delight.

“Babe!” she shrieked as she hurried over to him and jumped in his arms. She kissed him passionately, biting down on his lower lip before releasing the kiss.

“Happy Anniversary,” he said smiling.

“How did you do all this?”

“I don’t want to give away my accomplice, but it might be nice if you give a certain lovely downstairs neighbor by the name of Mrs. Atkinson one of these bouquets as a thank you.”

Jade got up to take in all of the beauty around her, she could feel Suresh starring at her and when she looked over all she saw was pure adoration. He got up and hugged Jade from behind, she melted into his arms as he whispered, “We’re not done yet.”

She turned around to face him with an excited look on her face. He grabbed her hand before she could say anything else and led her to the bedroom. There were more flowers in this room, but on her bed sat two beautifully wrapped boxes. One much smaller and thinner than the other. Suresh grabbed the bigger box first and handed to Jade.

She brushed her finger across the lush white and gold wrapping paper, the satin bow gleamed. Even the tape felt expensive. “It’s almost too pretty to open,” she said.

“I’m sure you’ll like what’s inside way more than the wrapping paper,” he laughed.

She smiled at him as she started to unwrap the first box, she noticed a familiar name at the top. Her favorite boutique! She slid the first half of the box up and it revealed a gorgeous, sequined black mini dress.

“Oh my god, babe. It’s stunning. I absolutely love it,” she said as she pressed the dress against her body and looked at herself in the mirror.

“I would love for you to wear it tonight, that is if you don’t have another outfit, you like more.”

She rushed over to him, “Of course I’ll wear it! I love it so much.”

“Good, and here’s another one,” he slid a skinny envelope looking box over to her. It was wrapped in the same paper as the first package, as she started to unwrap it, she noticed it was a non-descript box. She opened It just as delicately as the first, there were what seemed to be plane tickets in the box as she took them out, she realized he purchased two tickets for them to go on holiday in Turkey in two weeks.

Before she could even say anything, he said “Don’t worry, I already spoke to your boss, and he approved your time off. We leave in two weeks.”

She ran towards him and kissed him fervently. “How are you this perfect? I love you so much.”

“Well get ready, because the surprises aren’t over yet,” he said as he walked back to the living room. He had a few more tricks up his sleeve before the night was over.

Over the years, Suresh dated his fair share of women, but he could never truly commit to them. After a few weeks of courting, he became bored with them and would ghost them. Jade was different. From the very first day they met he knew she was someone special. She was fiery and put him in his place. She was kind and funny. She constantly put others before herself and she was loyal to the core. And it didn’t hurt that she was drop dead gorgeous. Tonight, Suresh was taking Jade to the restaurant they went to on their very first date. He had one more surprise in store for her that was tucked away in a small box in his pocket.

As they arrived at the restaurant holding hands, Suresh got a call from his office. They knew this was an important night for him, but he was also on the fast track to partner. Jade saw the name pop up on the screen, “If you need to get it, I can wait babe. I’ll go inside and grab my first glass of bubbly.” He loved that she was so willing to compromise with him and because of that he declined the call and ushered her into the restaurant.

They hadn’t been back to this restaurant since their first date, after a few glasses of bubbly, Jade and Suresh were having a hard time keeping their hands off each other. Much to the chagrin of their waiter and nearby patrons. As their hostess lead them to the same table they sat at on their first date one year ago, Jade turned to Suresh and whispered “I hope they have stronger glassware this year. It’s been a year but I’m still having a hard time keeping myself together when you look this good,” she said as she bit her lip. He winked at her and nodded to the table.

And that’s when she noticed them – two plastic champagne flutes. She turned around to see he was grinning widely at her.

“I thought these might be a better option, so we don’t risk almost getting kicked out again,” he said smiling.

“I don’t think I can possibly love you more than I do right now,” Jade said as she leaned in to kiss Suresh. As they parted from the kiss, she noticed there was a small box under Suresh’s hand. “What’s that?” she asked with a mischievous glint in her eye. Suresh looks at her with an intensely sincere and passionate look, “Jade I’m utterly and completely in love with you. This past year with you has been incredible and I want to take our relationship to the next level.” He pauses and slides the small gold leaf box over to her. Jade stares at the box before making any motion to open it, in her mind she screams to herself OMG!!!! IS HE PROPOSING?!?!?! But when she takes the box in her hand, she realizes it’s flatter than a normal ring box. She starts to open it and she sees a brand-new shiny set of keys. As she looks back to him with a smile he asks, “Will you move in with me?”

“Yes! Of course!” she exclaims as she sidles over to him to give him another kiss. And this was the exact moment when the scheming and the lies began.

After returning home and properly celebrating their anniversary in the bedroom, Jade lied awake while Suresh slept peacefully beside her.

Moving in together.

She’d never lived with a guy before this and realized that the next step would be marriage. They never discussed marriage before, but she couldn’t imagine that it wouldn’t be in the cards for them. She believed Suresh loved and cared for her deeply, it was the healthiest relationship she had ever been in, and she wasn’t sure how she got so lucky. As she laid in bed listening to the rhythmic sounds of his breathing, she thought about the moment he gave her the keys to his apartment. Deep down she believed he was proposing, thinking it over now she knows she would’ve said yes to him, had he asked.

As he stirred in bed moving closer to her, she realized there was no reason why she couldn’t ask Suresh to marry her. It wasn’t traditional, but neither were they. She knew she’d have to lie and sneak around for a few weeks until she figured out what kind of ring, she wanted to get him. She knew that a lot of jewelry companies were moving to online, and it might be easier and more discrete if she would be able to receive samples of the ring in the mail.

I’ll keep my post at my old apartment after I move and have Mrs. Atkinson hold my mail for me! She absolutely adores Resh, and I know she will be so happy for us.

TODAY

Jade checked the time on her phone again, where was Mrs. Atkinson? She called last night and earlier in the day to confirm she’d be home at 5. It was now 5:15 and Mrs. Atkinson was nowhere to be found. As she tried to call her for a third time, Jade noticed her elderly neighbor’s car pulling into Jade’s old street. For the past four months, Mrs. Atkinson had been Jade’s one and only accomplice in Operation: Propose to Suresh.

“Darling, I’m so sorry. The lines at the market were out the door today!” Mrs. Atkinson said as she shifted a brown bag of groceries in her arm from the back seat.

Jade rushed down to help her, “Please, let me help you, I can carry the bags.”

“Oh, thank you dear,” she said as she swung her large brown purse over her arm and shuffled up the drive. She fiddled with her keys as she excitedly said, “the package arrived this morning!”

“Thank goodness! I’m planning on doing it tonight,” Jade beamed as she simultaneously called an uber on her cell. 4 minutes away. As she entered Mrs. Atkinson’s flat, she realized her whole life was about to change tonight. Her elderly neighbor shuffled to the kitchen where she returned with a box, and some of Jade’s mail.

“Here you go dear!” She said as she handed Jade the package. “You know in my day I would never have been as bold as to ask my Henry to marry me. But I’m so happy that the times have changed and that you are going to be able to show that lovely man how much you love him. Please send him my love, I always loved when he would come around and help me around the house.”

“Thank you so much Mrs. A, we will be back round soon enough.” Jade said as she heard two car horns outside, a sign her uber was outside. “I’m sorry I can’t chat longer today, I’m running behind. Bye Mrs. A!

She ran down her old drive and got in the uber and checked how long it would take her to get home. Normally this drive would be 15-20 minutes but an accident on the main road had caused a massive delay and it would now take her 35 minutes to get home. She was going to be late. As if on cue, Suresh texted her.

S: babe are you close? We need to leave here in 20 minutes.

J: got held up but im on my way…there’s a massive accident

S: jade….

S: you know how impt tonight is for me

“You know how important tonight is for me” …if only he knew how important it actually was, she thought. He’s going to be my fiancé tonight!

As she opened the door to their penthouse apartment, she could see Suresh sitting at their kitchen island, ready to go.

“Sorry, sorry, I know, I know. I got held up and there was so much traffic,” she said as she rushed to their bedroom, in their massive master closet she pulled her favorite clutch bag and snuck the ring box in the inside pocket. She slipped on the new dress she bought for this exact occasion and rushed to the bathroom to do her makeup and touch up her hair.

Her plan for tonight was simple, but she knew he would love every second of it. After he got his much-deserved promotion, Jade would let him revel in his accomplishments with his co-workers and suggest that the two of them go celebrate. She made reservations at the same place he took her on her first date and their one-year anniversary. She had already called ahead, and the staff knew to reserve their booth and bring them dessert first with the ring in the middle and “will you marry me” written on the outside of the plate.

When she emerged from the bathroom, Suresh looked at her incredulously and gave her the sweet half smile that she loved so much. He opened his arms, and she ran into them. All of the nervousness of the day washed away as he held her.

Once they got in their car headed to his event, they started to make small talk about their day.

Be normal.

Talk about everyday things.

Don’t think about the ring burning a hole in your purse.

Jade was a terrible liar and she felt it was always best to keep her lies as close to the truth as possible. So, when Suresh asked her about her day, she inadvertently mentioned the one thing she knew would make him kick off.

“I had to run some errands and I had to go pick up a package all the way over…” before she could finish, she stopped herself and noticed that his body stiffened and shifted over a few centimeters.

She could see his jaw clench as he asked her “What was in the package?” This had been a major point of contention for Suresh, he didn’t understand why Jade still hadn’t changed her mailing address from her old place and why she continued to collect her mail from Mrs. Atkinson.

“Oh, um just a few things…” she didn’t want to dwell on this further and cause a fight in the back of the car.

“Jade…. you promised,” he said as he shifted his body closer to the window and looked outside at the foreboding dark clouds above.

“I know, Resh, I will. I promise.” As she said this, the sky began to open up and pour all around them.

“You said that the last time,” he whispered under the roar of the rain around them. The rain, to him, was synonymous with how he was feeling right now. Hurt and angry.

Why did I have to mention the stupid package, I could’ve just said I got held up at work, or traffic, anything else. I wish I could just tell him the truth about why I haven’t changed my address. He’s probably assuming the worst right now. At least tonight he’ll know I had a very good reason to not change my address.

Jade sidled closer to him and held his hand. He squeezed her hand and gave her a light kiss on her thumb, as if to say let’s not fight.

Less than two minutes later, the car came to a stop at a beautiful modern building where the event was taking place. He exited the car in one fluid motion and ran to her side to open her door and cover her from the rain. He held her tight against him as they walked quickly inside.

Once inside, they walked over to the bar, and he ordered two glasses of champagne. Jade couldn’t help but stare at him from afar in pure adoration. Everything about the way he moved felt like a beautiful song.

As they moved about the event, Jade was charming the senior partners and his fellow co-workers. They found her to be charismatic, amusing, and witty. She knew the night could not be going any better.

“So how long have you two been together?” one of the partners’ wives asked, her face warm and inviting.

“Just over a year,” Suresh said smiling down at Jade, who met his eyes as if he were her entire universe.

“Ohhhh,” she squealed. “So, it must be getting near time to….hmmm?” she asked, as she motioned her own ring finger to him, with a chuckle.

“Who knows?” Suresh chuckled. They hadn’t talked about it, so he just shot her a smile and a coy wink, silently apologizing for putting her on the spot. “Maybe?”

Jade’s eyes widened like she’d been stuck with a branding iron.

“What?” She laughed, loudly. “Don’t you even think about it!"

How could this women know anything about what was to happen tonight, it’s just a coincidence, Jade thought to herself. Did I come across too awkward? Did I sound like I hated the thought of marriage? At least I’m doing this tonight.

She felt a small buzz from her purse, her phone lit up with a message that read. “Update?” it was from the waiter, at this point it was about 1 hour to the time she told him they’d head over.

J: Not yet. They haven’t announced the promotion yet.

As she finished hitting send, Suresh’s boss Charlie started to clink his glass as he held a microphone with the other hand.

This is it.

She squeezed his hand and smiled up at him. The moment he had been waiting for, for the past 6 months.

Charlie launched into a long speech about hard work, loyalty and their massive success stories this year. She knew Suresh had been integral in bringing in three huge accounts this year that had easily pushed him into junior partner territory.

She could sense Suresh’s nervousness as Charlie continued his speech, “So we’re here tonight to announce and welcome our newest junior partner, and the youngest to ever be offered the role….Marisol Io Truglio.”

She could feel her heart beating through her chest, through her ears and she realized she was holding her breath. She looked at Suresh but realized he had let go of her hand and was now applauding Marisol loudly. She knew he was compensating for his own disappointment.

Jade was frozen, as she watched Charlie pull Suresh aside to explain the decision.

This isn’t ideal, but maybe I should still propose tonight. He will have something really special to look forward to, even if he didn’t get what he originally wanted tonight.

She was lost in thought when she noticed Suresh bounding past her towards the bar. He was clearly fuming about the promotion, so she let him have a minute to himself. She walked over to Marisol and congratulated her on her promotion, and they chatted for a bit. In the corner of Jade’s eye, she could see Suresh downing a double scotch and ordering another one. He immediately drank that one too and ordered another.

As she was about to walk over to stop him, she got a text from the waiter, who she just had saved as W.

W: update?

J: we may need to postpone…Think it may need to be another day.

W: im so sorry I know you had ur heart set on today

J: its ok. Thank you so much for your help.

In the few minutes she spent texting she could see that he had now ordered another drink and was downing that one too. Jade picked up her pace as she walked towards him. She noticed that most people had headed over to the stage area where soon they would be shown a few presentations for their year ahead.

“Babe, it’s time to go” she said.

“I’m staying out for a while” he said.

“Resh, you don’t want to do this here. I know how badly you wanted this, but you can’t beat yourself up over this. They probably went with Marisol because she’s ….”

“Committed,” he growled.

“I was going to say extremely boring, but sure, why not?” she smiled trying to make light of the situation.

Suresh slammed his scotch back down on the bar, louder than he expected. This made Jade jump and the few people that were still in their vicinity look over to see what the commotion was.

“Is that what you think? That being committed to something is boring?” he snarled.

Jade looked at him confused, and she could sense the conversation wasn’t about Marisol and the promotion anymore. “That’s not what I said Suresh. Can we please go? We’re surrounded by your co-workers and although you may not care right now you will care tomorrow.”

“As if you fucking care about me Jade,” he snaps.

Jade looks deeply hurt and offended by this accusation.

“Go on Jade! Act shocked. Act like it’s a fucking surprise to you. Act like you don’t know how much if fucking destroys me. I swear, it’s like you enjoy watching me suffer.” He snarls.

“Excuse me?” She asks, absolutely incredulous.

“You’re so desperate to cling on to that one link to your single life. Anything to remind yourself that you’ve still got an out. Just fucking admit it. That’s why you won’t change your fucking address and why you shot down marrying me in front of half the fucking partners.”

“You’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, Suresh.” She picks up her bag, still holding the ring inside, turns around and walks out the door. Jade holds back tears as he screams behind her “Bye Jade. See you at the apartment you apparently don’t live in.”

Jade is burning red hot with anger and embarrassment. Their town car is still waiting out front, and she asks the driver to please take her home.

“Are you alright miss?” a low sweet voice comes from the driver.

Tears have started to flood out of Jade like the storm that continues to rage on, even angrier than before they arrived at the event tonight.

“I’m ok. I’m ok” she says as she takes a deep breath and looks out the window.

When they arrive at the apartment, she thanks him, and her doorman George is rushing to get the door for her with an umbrella in hand. The driver looks at the rear-view mirror and says to her, “don’t let any man make you cry. Even a handsome geezer like Suresh.” She laughs and thanks him once more.

Jade walks into their apartment defeated. She is exhausted from the turn of events tonight. She heads to her closet to undress and as she opens her purse the ring box stares back at her. She takes it and shoves it in her bed side table for now. She takes a hot shower and puts on one of Suresh’s oversized university t-shirts as she locks the door to their bedroom.

After his antics tonight, he can sleep on the couch or in the guest room, but he won’t be sleeping with me until he apologizes.

She settles into bed around 11 but goes into a fitful sleep. She tosses and turns half awake and half dreaming about Suresh telling her she doesn’t care. She’s awoken by a phone call; she sees the name on the screen. Babe <3, it’s Suresh but she notices It’s after 2AM… where is he?

“Hello?” she croaks. Her voice sore from crying and lack of sleep.

All she could hear at first on the other line were whimpers and someone crying. This woke Jade up and she sat up in bed.

“Hello, who is this?” she asked again

A woman’s voice answers back “I’m sorry I didn’t know you were together,” she cries as she continues. “Please what’s your email address??”

Without thinking Jade tells her, her email address but asks her, “Please who are you and why do you have Suresh’s phone? Is he ok?”

“I’m sending you an email, and this will explain everything.” The mystery woman continues to cry but is able to get out, “Suresh is a bad guy” before the call ends.

The soft tone of a dropped call plays.

Jade tries calling again, and again. But the phone seems to have either died or been turned off.

Jade rushes to the office and checks her email. She stares into the void of her emails and clicks refresh again and again. It takes another minute because the file is so large, but in her inbox is an email from McGee’s pub with the subject line, “I’m sorry I didn’t know he was married” with an attached video.

Jade instantly feels uneasy, her chest is pounding, her head is throbbing, and her hand trembles as she moves to click play. On her screen she makes out a tiny, cluttered, dark office space. It looks exactly like what a pub office would look like. Papers strewn about on a wooden desk haphazardly, stacks of beer bottles in a corner, a small folding chair and an out-of-date computer. She notices there’s a timestamp on the right-hand corner of the video with today’s date, 12:55AM. And then she sees him stumble into the office with a waitress. His hand is bleeding, he’s clearly hurt himself and she’s helping him. There’s no audio but she laughs at something he says. He can barely stand up and he falls into the waitress, she turns around and kisses him. He pulls away from the kiss but pulls a condom out of his wallet. She helps him put it on and he bends the waitress over the desk, he starts to fuck the waitress with zero hesitation. She snaps the laptop shut, she’s seen enough for today.

Jade can’t believe her eyes; she lets the tears come and she cries a guttural cry. She quickly reaches for the waste basket underneath the desk and throws up into it. She doesn’t understand how or why he would do this.

He went on and on about commitment, but he was cheating on me? I need to get my shit and get the fuck out of here.

Through heavy sobs, Jade begins to pack up all her things. At around 7AM she called her brother David, her voice hoarse from crying. He asked her what was wrong, but she couldn’t get it out without crying.

“Do you want me to come over?” David asked. “what’s he done? Are you ok?”

“Come over please…. We’re done” Jade croaked.

David rushed over and was there within 10 minutes, he hugged her tight.

“Where is he?” David asked

“Probably with the girl he’s been cheating on me with.” With that Jade started to bawl all over again. It took David an hour to get her to stop hysterically crying and to attempt to load up their cars with her things to get her out of here before he returned. When Jade came back for the last of her things, she saw a picture of Suresh and her in Turkey. They were both smiling back at her so happily. In her anger she ran to the kitchen and pulled out garbage bags. She threw one at her brother.

“All the pictures of us in the trash.”

“Jade are you sure?” he asked nervously.

“If I’m in it, toss it. I don’t want him having any of these memories of me.”

She headed into their bedroom where they had a nice gallery wall of pictures from their year together. The two of them at Christmas last year with his family. A selfie of the two of them giggling on the hot air balloon. A picture of them at his birthday last year. One of him kissing her under the Eiffel Tower. One of them in Italy. In a fury, she ripped all the frames off the wall and tossed them in the bag. The glass breaking inside as she tossed the frames in without abandon. It was almost 11 when she finally threw the last bag of broken glass and broken dreams down the garbage shoot.

She walked back into the apartment one last time, went into the office and got his laptop. She then started a new email. No subject, no text. Just a video attachment and sent it to Suresh. She left the laptop where she knew he would see it, and with his emails opened.

“Are you ok to drive,” her brother looked at her with concern.

“Yes, let’s go” she said as she put on her biggest, darkest sunglasses and tried to not let brother see her cry.

As she got in her car, she grabbed her phone and blocked Suresh on everything. She deleted all their pics on IG and went private. He wouldn’t be able to call her, email her, dm her, nothing. There was no need for an explanation for what he had done.

The next three months seemed to pass by in blur for Jade. She couldn’t taste food anymore, jokes weren’t funny, music sounded dull and altogether impossible to listen to without taking her into a black hole of grief, it seemed like life itself had lost color and vibrancy.

Her friends pestered her to hang out, but she couldn’t force herself out of the house. It was bad enough that he haunted her dreams nightly, some nights with apologies, other nights the video just replayed in her mind on a loop. Everywhere she went was a reminder of him and she saw his ghost everywhere. The first time she went to the coffee shop by her brother’s flat, she almost choked on her scone as someone who resembled him walked in. She didn’t want to be reminded of him. She didn’t want a chance of seeing him out with someone else.

She’d heard from some friends that he had reached out imploring them to connect them or arrange a meeting for him to explain. Jade vehemently refused every ask and told them to stop asking. She couldn’t imagine a day where she would be able to see him and it wouldn’t shatter her in two.

The pain of it all seemed insurmountable for months. And then on an ordinary day, about four months after their breakup, she laughed again. This wasn’t the fake laugh she had taught herself to do, but a real laugh. She realized that the ghosts were also haunting her dreams less frequently. She knew she wasn’t over what happened to her, but she was definitely at a better place, and life started to feel good again.

8 Months After the Breakup

Jade was leaving the gym one afternoon when she saw she had 15 missed calls from her best friend Gemma in the hour she had been at the gym.

Gemma answered in one ring “Jade, OMG WHERE ARE YOU? You’re going to kill me. Please, please, please don’t kill me. Omg I never thought this would actually happen. We did it for a laugh. Me and Fran. We thought it might be good for you if you were picked….” She continued to ramble off a bit.

“GEMMA! Stop, calm down!” she said. “Please tell me what’s going on”

“Can you just come over and I’ll explain everything? Fran is on her way too,” Gemma said.

“Ok, I just need to shower first, and I’ll head over.”

“JADE, there is no time for showers. Come here now please.” Gemma shrieks.

Jade calmly says, “Ok, I’m on my way.”

As Jade pulls up to Gemma’s drive, her and Fran are already opening the door and bounding outside to greet Jade.

“Ok, what is going on? You guys are scaring me now.” Jade says.

“We first need you to promise that you won’t be mad at us,” Fran says.

“Yes, I promise. Now out with it,” Jade says.

Gemma starts to explain, “I hate to bring up that sad sack excuse for a man but after Suresh you were really down, and we felt terrible that we couldn’t do anything for you. We mentioned it to Fran’s boyfriend, and he jokingly said, ‘let’s get her in next season of love island’ and we were like actually that’s a great idea, what do we need to do?”

“Wait….what?” Jades face is pale, and she looks terrified.

“Jade let me finish! So, Fran and I told him what happened, and he told us he just needed us to fill out an application form and he would bring it to the head casting director. We sent them your pictures and some fun videos of you on night outs and they loved you.”

“What does that mean, they loved me?”

“Babe, they want you on the show,” Fran exclaimed!

“This is your chance to have the summer of your life, meet new guys and maybe even leave with a relationship.” Gemma said. “So, what do you say?”

Jade looked at her two best friends in disbelief as she said “I can’t believe I’m saying this but…I’m in.”

#litg #litg suresh #litg s5 #love island the game #litg mc #litg ex in the villa #fusebox games #fanfic

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mrsbsmooth · 1 year

Note

If your headcanons weren’t immature like a horny teenager, I wouldn’t have said anything.

DID SOMEONE JUST ACCUSE ME OF NOT BEING KINKY ENOUGH

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

omfg I'm actually PMSL right now, this is the first time EVER that I've had someone imply I was prudish or didn't go far enough with something smutty I did OMG I feel like such a lady!

MrsBSmooth who?? Changing my blog name to MrsBWellBehaved 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 literally what in the world !??!?

Do you want me to give him some kind of filthy kink? Lewie's the most vanilla dude ever, he's literal golden retriever boyfriend. He'll barely do ANYTHING naughty, he's too much of a softboy 🤣🤣🤣 Making him super kinky would make him OOC, and God knows people get the BIG MAD when I do that (My Tom Smut lolllll)

How about instead of having a go at me for not READING YOUR MIND and publishing the exact headcanons that YOU WANTED you go FUCKING WRITE YOUR OWN you entitled, rude, piece of human shit for brains. I'm so over people getting mad at me because I didn't publish the exact curated content they wanted.

I'M NOT FRANCIS I DON'T HAVE A THIRD EYE! And even if I did, babe, it would just be rolling like the other two are right now.

#litg lewie #hoes mad #fuck off #literally fight me i'm in the mood #come at me brah #let's fucking gooo

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rebelrayne · 2 years

Text

James One Shot

Title: The Other Side - AO3 or under the cut

Rating: T - Teen

Pairing: James x OC

@mrsbsmooth I expect my payment to arrive in 3-5 business days (joking - mostly because I couldn't make it smutty for the life of me...)

James groaned at his keyboard. How could his agent expect him to write a love story with more romance? Uh, not that he’d openly like to admit that it was something he lacked in real life… Romance, that is. He’d had a few girlfriends but they never went anywhere. James would lie to you though, he would tell you it was because he was too inexperienced and shy. He was just much too self-conscious to put himself out there like other guys, like his best mate, Bruno. But no, this wasn’t the case. He knew it was because of Estee.

Who was Estee? Oh my God, who was Estee? You couldn’t ask James a question like that, not unless you wanted to see his eyes light up as he gushed over how amazing his best friend was. Estee was something. No, no, wait. Estee was everything. She was beautiful, she was brave. She was so smart. Her coffee and cream colored eyes hung the moon and the stars. The way she demanded attention with just a smirk in a crowded room? Or what about the way she giggled even when things were barely funny?

That was all beside the point. He was meant to be writing a novel, he was meant to be accepting his fate as being ‘friendzoned’. He would never be anything more than the best friend, the guy who inevitably watched these terrible boyfriends come and go like a revolving door. First there was the landscaper, Hazeem. His jokes were so terrible that James could still see the wrinkles he’d caused on his own face by forcing a smile. The guy was bland, he was boring. James could still hear the suppressed groans in his mind lingering around, and that was two fucking years ago.

Then of course, we could never forget the barber. Oh, man… The barber. Did Kobi have a backbone? No. No, he did not. He would laugh about something, or he would talk to James about football for hours. He’d clasp James’s shoulder like they’d been best mates forever then his eyes would spot a pretty girl in the crowd and stare for too long. He was fine, it was fine, but needless to say, James wasn’t upset when he was kicked to the curb.

Who else? Oh! The “professional” volleyball player, of course. Dylan the Villain, as James had dubbed him (at least internally). Thank heavens that guy was only around for a hot minute, even if that minute was still 60 seconds too long. He wore his shirts too tight, and his brain was most certainly two sizes too small to match it.

Oh, but now? Now, he has the privilege to deal with the narcissistic French model. ‘Oui, I’m Youcef, bonjour. I’m a model.’ The guy was a damn intern for a fashion magazine. You walk in one runway show because they need a filler at the last minute and suddenly, you’re a professional fashion model. “Le loser,” James muttered under his breath.

He still hadn’t written another word in his document. He was wasting time, he knew he was avoiding the task. He placed both hands on the edge of his desk and pushed himself away softly. He sighed, leaning his head back on the back of the chair for a moment before picking himself up and rising to his feet. He stretched his arm out to shimmy his long sleeve up and checked his watch. Dammit, he had to be at work in thirty minutes. And he got nothing written for his book. Again. “Why am I like this?” he asked himself out loud.

He shuffled over to the front door and snatched his keys off the side table. The very side table Estee promised him he’d use all the time. He never did, but she looked really happy when she picked it out for him so he bought it. He really was in deep. Not that he’d ever admit it to her but… in the safety of his own mind, he knew. He knew he had it bad.

He wrapped an apron loosely around his waist behind the bar. He’d told himself this was temporary a thousand times over but here he was… Five years later and the best damn veteran bartender there was at Hattrick’s. It wasn’t something he was particularly proud of… Especially at parties. He hated parties. Not that he didn’t want to be social, or anything, but um… Well, he didn’t want to be social but he also really hated being in charge of making everyone’s drinks, too. It was just work without the tips. Wouldn’t that be called free labor?

“Hey James!” Cora yelled over the music as she leaned herself over the bar. “Didn’t know you were working tonight. How’s Estee doing?” Oh how his friends loved to ask him. It almost felt like they were teasing but the pitying look on Cora’s face… Well, that almost made it worse.

James grabbed a white bar mop from the shelf closest to the floor and whipped it over his shoulder as he stood up straight again. “Uh, good, I guess,” he said with an unsure shrug. “Same as always.”

Cora’s eyes widened, almost in horror. “Oh my gosh,” she said, “you didn’t know?”

“Huh?” He pulled out a glass and placed it on the counter. “What didn’t I know?” He grabbed the soda gun and started to fill the glass with water.

“Hello?” Cora leaned back and placed one hand on her hip in a sassy motion. “Estee and Youcef? They broke up yesterday? Geez, I thought you two were best friends.”

“What?!” He hadn’t even noticed he moved his arm… Which caused him to clumsily spray water all over the surface of the bar. “Dammit.”

Cora shook her head. “You know she’s going to come here, right?”

James knew it all too well. She did this thing, this thing where she would date assholes then cry on his shoulder about it. No, no. He couldn’t think that way. He needed to be supportive, right? That’s what best friends do, right? God, why was he so pathetic… “Yeah, I guess I do…” He grabbed a few more bar mops and started tossing them onto the bar. “It’s a shame I’ve got Find My Friends on for her,” he said. “She’s definitely coming for a few free shots.”

“Maybe you should take your shot,” Cora answered sternly. She was right, he knew she was but he couldn’t do that. No, she liked this guy. She was entranced by this man… He wouldn’t hit her with his feelings now, not like this.

“It’s not the right time I don’t think…”

“Then when will it be the right time? Come on! Live a little. Tell her how you feel!”

“I just think–”

“Who is James telling how he feels?” Both Cora and James snapped their neck to find Estee placing her purse on the bar and sliding onto a barstool.

“Nothing!” James exclaimed. “I mean, no one! No one, there’s no one.”

“Smooth,” Cora muttered. “Uh, well, I better get ready for my set. I’ll catch you two later.”

Great, now she’s going to keep asking me about it. Thanks a lot, Cora. James grabbed the now-soaked mops from the bar and threw them into a hamper. He grinned, but he knew it looked forced. Oh, she was not going to let up on him. Not at all. “So,” he said, “What can I get you?”

Estee sighed loudly as she placed her elbows on the bar. “Patron,” she answered, “double shots. Four of them.”

Oh boy. “Uh, that bad, huh?” He grabbed three double shot glasses and spun on his heels to grab the bottle from the top shelf. “So what happened with Youcef then?”

“First of all, how do you know something happened?” Estee sat up straight and rolled her eyes. Why did she have to look so perfect? Even when she was frustrated with James, she looked flawless. “Second of all, I asked for four. Having trouble with basic counting there, Barker?” Even when she was sassing him, she was downright exemplary.

James poured the tequila into the glasses carefully, ensuring he gave her every bit plus a bit more in each of the glasses. “If I remember correctly,” he said, “it was you cheating off my math exams and I was mediocre at best in that subject.” Yes, he’d been in love with her since they were 16-years-old. No, he’d never had the damn courage to tell her. Not even once. Or, no, actually he did have it one time when they were drunk one night but she passed out while he was talking… Even though he was the only one there that remembered it, it was still quite embarrassing. “And I see you’re avoiding the question…”

He pushed the three shots her way. He reached under the bar and flipped the lid on the fruit tray. “Normally, I would charge for the bartender therapy session,” he laughed, “but for you, I’ll discount it.” He placed three limes on a plate for her then handed her a salt shaker.

“Won’t be needing those,” Estee answered as she pushed the plate away. She grabbed one of the shots and threw it back quickly. James hadn’t even stopped to look at her yet. Why hadn’t he stopped and looked at her yet?! She wore her hair in long beach waves, her signature look. But tonight, she did her makeup differently. It almost looked… It looked like she went for an understated look. He found it odd, she always did herself up. Maybe the breakup was bad… “It’s one of those nights, I guess.”

“Ah,” he mumbled. “Want to talk about it?”

“No.” She took another shot then cleared her throat. God, she looked beautiful even when she was making that face every time she took a shot. “Yes.” She wrapped her fingers delicately around the last glass, but she just kept her eyes fixated on it. “Broke up with Youcef.” She looked over at James. “Yeah, yeah, I know, he was a jerk. Go on then.”

“I don’t think I need to rub it in,” James said. He grabbed one of the empty glasses and poured another. “This is the last one you’re getting, by the way. I know how you get when you drink tequila.”

“Thanks for looking out for me, dad,” Estee answered with a hint of sarcasm. She removed her elbows from the bar and reeled them back into her. She was even wearing something that didn’t quite look like her; Estee was a pretty fashion-forward type. She loved anything glittery but tonight? Tonight, she wore a simple black dress with spaghetti straps. “Don’t think I forgot about the conversation you and Cora were having.” She looked down at the bar, seemingly staring at the two shots filled with liquid gold. “What’s her name?”

She seemed… Sad? Why would she be sad? James tilted his head and scrunched his nose. No, it couldn’t be because of him. She was so clearly upset that yet another relationship hadn’t worked out. James knew she was excited about this one. Youcef was just so ‘worldly’ according to Estee. “Oh, um…” he trailed off. He had to think of something, anything to get her off his back. “Uh, no one. Cora was just teasing me.”

Estee nodded solemnly. James had never seen her so docile before. All this over some French guy? No, something else had to be up. This wasn’t like her. “Oh, I see.” She met his eyes, the smallest and most heartbreaking looking smile on her face. “When are you done here?”

He grabbed one of the glasses from under the bar, which was still wet, then started to dry it off with his bar mop. “Um,” he paused and looked back at the clock on the wall then back at her, “it’s a slow night so I can probably get away with leaving after Cora’s band is done playing… I mean, if you need me to…” He placed the glass down. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh! Yeah,” she nodded her head like a bobble head. “Yeah, everything’s great! Peachy even. Uh, what are you doing tomorrow then?”

She’s acting weird… Maybe this breakup was worse than the others? “Hanging out with you?” He said it like a question, almost like he was asking permission in a way. Why am I like this?

But her golden eyes sparkled at the response. God, what he wouldn’t do to see that smile. He’d go to the ends of the world if she asked him to, all she had to do was mutter the question. No, that wasn’t completely true. She just had to start the question, he’d jump up and do it before she even finished the sentence. Yes, he was in that deep, he was all in that much.

“Yeah! You could come to my place,” she said.

“Your place?” He frowned. “No, your neighbor hates me.”

“She does not hate you.” Estee laughed, that gorgeous laugh. He felt himself falling further as she carried on with that laugh. “Angie’s just rough around the edges and to be fair, you did wake her up pretty late…”

James groaned. “I tripped and hit the shared wall by accident! It’s not like I meant to do it!”

“Yeah, but it was like two o’clock in the morning, James.”

“Uh, I guess you’re right…” He threw the bar mop over his shoulder again and placed the glass under the bar. “Tomorrow at um, what time?”

Estee pushed her two shot glasses forward, the two James should have damn well known she wasn’t going to finish. “Maybe like eleven? In the morning, I mean,” she said, “I know you like to write in the evening and it’s when you do the best work. Plus, I mean, um, I’d like to talk with you about some things.”

“You’re making me nervous,” he said as he grabbed the two empty glasses and placed them onto a tray to be cleaned. “Did I do something wrong or–”

“No! The opposite actually,” she said but her eyes widened, “uh, no not like, opposite but… Wow, I’m talking in circles. Must be the tequila, huh?” She giggled nervously, but he knew she was trying to pass it off. She had this habit, this habit trying to make herself seem calm but she ended up in a fit of awkward giggles. Normally he would find it adorable, his palms would sweat and his heart would race but in a good way… Not tonight though. Tonight his heart sank hearing that nervous giggle. Oh God, what could have possibly happened? What could he have possibly done? Did he forget her dog’s birthday? No, no. That’s next week. You’re fine, it’s fine. Calm down.

“It doesn’t sound like something that can wait,” he said. “Let me talk to the other bartender and I’ll meet you at your place. Are you alright to walk there by yourself? You could aways–”

“That’s sweet, James but you know my place is only one block over. I mean, um, if you don’t mind coming now…” She stood up from her seat and smirked. But… This smirk… He’d never seen her give him that smirk. He gulped. There was no way. “I could use the company.” She flipped her hair as she turned on her heels. She glanced over her shoulder, giving him a sweet wave as she headed off. Of course, she left without paying but she knew she didn’t need to. Oh, she had to know with him behind the bar, she would never need to. But he couldn’t help but wonder… What was that about?

James had somehow talked his boss into letting him go early. The man wasn’t happy about it, he cursed under his breath and complained the whole time while James tried to explain that he needed to help out his friend. The compromise, of course, was that James would be working all weekend as compared to his Friday and Saturday only schedule. James didn’t have the desire to push back on it. Sure, he could have stood and argued about it but what good would it have done? It would have only caused him to stay at the bar later and he didn’t have time for that. He was too busy overthinking, too overcome with the thoughts of what Estee could possibly want to speak to him about.

It couldn’t actually be what I hope it could be, could it? Wow, did that even make sense? He shoved his hands into his jacket pocket as he rounded the corner on the street. Estee swore that she didn’t pick this place because it was close to James’s work, but she always seemed to stop by when he was working. He would actually be able to count on one hand the number of times she didn’t wander into the hole-in-the-wall establishment, it would be easier than counting how many times she did come in to visit him. I’m thinking in circles now.

He took a deep breath as he lifted his hand and knocked on the door. Being Thursday night, it was quiet out on the street. He glanced around but saw no one else around. He put his hand back into his pocket, shrugging his shoulders as if it would help him warm up.

The door flung open and Estee was smiling ear to ear. What the– Did she change her clothes? She had. She had definitely changed but… into something less comfortable? She was now wearing a lacy red tank top with tiny jean shorts. James felt his jaw drop, he knew he was staring… But he couldn’t quite figure out if it looked like he was entranced or if it looked like he was confused.

“Hey! Come on!” She grabbed his arm, which caused him to pull his hand from his pocket as he followed her inside. She practically led him to the couch, finding that there were already two glasses of ice water on the table. What is going on? “Sit. I need to… We need to talk.”

“Those words are usually not good when strung together in a sentence like that,” James answered. He sat down next to her on the couch, his knee bounced uncontrollably and he fiddled with his fingers. “Um, what’s up?”

She sighed then shifted her eyes, seemingly glancing at something right behind him rather than keeping her eyes on his. “I just… I just can’t be friends with you anymore, James.”

Wait… Wait… No, what? “I don’t… I don’t understand. Is this because of Youcef? I mean, I get it, I guess… If that’s what you want…”

“No, it’s not because of Youcef,” she said. Her brows were furrowed, her lips parted but would open and close the gap as if she was searching for the right words. “I just… I need to get over this, I think.”

Get over… this? “What do you need to get over?” James tilted his head but then it finally clicked. It couldn’t be happening, could it? No way. Him? James? Estee was perfect, she was exciting and she was interesting. God, why couldn’t he think straight? “Are you saying…” he paused, because he wasn’t exactly sure if he was correct, “are you saying you like me? I mean, like… like me?”

She met his eyes but her cheeks were flushed bright red. “This is awkward,” she answered. “But it’s… it’s more than that, James…” She looked down at her lap, chunks of her golden brown hair falling to hide her face.

Was it really happening? He had to have been dreaming. He wasn’t big, rugged and buff like Hazeem. He couldn’t be cool and collected like Kobi. He’d never be as handsome as Dylan. There’s no way he could ever be charming or suave like Youcef… He was just… him? “Estee,” he whispered. He watched her twitch her head, almost looking a bit frantic, like she was contemplating on the reason why she chose to even speak up. It was now or never, he told himself. If he wanted her, he had to do something. Now.

He grabbed her face with both hands and lifted her head. Her eyes looked glossed over, they looked regretful. Oh God, did she regret saying something? Did she want to press rewind and pretend like this hadn’t happened? He couldn’t let that happen, he couldn’t let her think that. “Estee, I–” He had to be brave. Say it, just say it so she knows. “I’m in love with you.”

Her eyes grew wider, her lips gapped. There wasn’t really much else to say… He felt the magnetic pull as they leaned closer to one another. His heart flipped and leaped with each inching movement. Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God. He was a nervous wreck. The second their lips met, the moment they crossed the line… Nothing could ever be the same.

And that… That made him move quicker. He felt his hands trembling but he never wavered, he didn’t move them from her face. He’d imagined what it would be like to kiss her so many times but nothing he conjured up in his mind could have ever measured up to this. How was she so perfect? Why did her face fit so perfectly in his hands? Why was it so effortlessly easy to fall into rhythm with her at that moment?

She threw her arms around his neck. “I’m in love with you.”

He rested his forehead on hers, breathless and dumbstruck. She could have anyone, anyone in the entire fucking world. And she was choosing to have him? He couldn’t believe his luck. She was staring back with that infamous, flawless signature smirk of hers and this time… This time she was looking at him. Not a buff gardener, not a barber. She wasn’t throwing a glance the way of a handsome French model. She was looking at him. Maybe he’d be able to finish writing that book after all. With her by his side, he could do anything. He was sure of it.

#litg season 4 #litg bombshell #love island the game #litg ff #litg fanfic #litg james #they said it wouldn't be done #look at us now #a bone for my james stans #love y'all

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