#muse ;; kai

[gccdstories]

@wickedpeachie (Paedyn) sent an ask to (Kai) //

"Kitt betrayed me, and I betrayed him. And you betrayed both of us, in a thousand different ways."

Dark eyes glare at her, his body almost preternaturally still. Like every fiber of Kai's being is strung tight enough that the slightest hint of anything might unleash all that he's been holding back. He wants to scoff, he wants to deny every little word she says.

❝ Really? I betrayed both of you? Oh do enlighten me on what made you come to that conclusion, Gray. ❞

[cobra-wives]

sam and kreese being the two characters that end up mentally manifesting their "true enemy" (tory, terry) in their head via a dark hallucination in which their true enemy points out their real flaws, tell them how it really is to their face, and says something really gay to them (i know exactly who you are, princess) (you're my weakness, johnny, but i'm not yours), and then they have a sick fight scene with the part of themselves they believe is their weakness. the feminism is strong with this show

[wear-this-for-me-sweetie]

One of the wonders of my childhood and early teens was the mail order catalogue.

In the 70s/80s these were a big thing in the UK. Basically a shopping mall in a book, where you could browse the aisles from your sofa.

When you decided what you wanted, all you had to do was fill out a lengthy form by hand, writing the long product codes with a bic biro, post it with a cheque for the total amount, and hey presto, in as little as two weeks, the postman would deliver your items to your door.

Hi tech magic!

Kays was one of the most popular catalogues, and my mother made sure we always had the latest edition in the house.

As far back as age 5 or 6, I remember spending hours looking at the girls clothes, thinking how pretty they were, imagining myself wearing them, and feeling sad that I couldn't. My parents were of their time and explained, kindly, that these were not the things that boys wore.

But I carried on. For years.

When I was older, I took more interest in the underwear and lingerie sections. A lot of my friends did the same, and for them, it was a bit of innocent naughty fun.

For me though, leafing through those pages was like coming to terms with the fact that this is what I wouldn't become. I would never have this kind of body and I would never get to wear this...stuff (Not true because of course I do now, but I couldn't foresee that back then).

The muted sadness of that was ever so slightly offset by the persistent glowing appreciation of the majestic women adorning those pages.

In my teens, I did find these images somewhat arousing too of course. Girls, women, females in general...they were 'other' in one sense. They weren't like me, they were magnificently mysterious creations and I loved the way they looked, dressed, sounded, moved, thought, smelled, gestured, held themselves and were regarded.

But in another sense, they were like me. Or rather, I was like them, inside myself, and that's where I had to keep it, hidden away. Learning to talk, act and even think like a 'proper' boy. Girl envy was a motif of my formative years; they had the girl bodies that allowed them to be the way they were, but I didn't.

I should say here that I did okay as a boy, and did not spend my life out of my skin 100% wishing I was someone else all of the time. This is the blessed curse of being non-binary - not resonating with your assigned gender but not being fully at odds with it either. It's exciting and confusing in equal measure.

Over the years, like many people, I started to come to terms with just how much of me was concealed by the male front. And I realised that wearing female clothes was indeed just one aspect of self expression I was denied.

And that's why now, along with dressing the way I want more and more, I'm enjoying letting more of my true female self come through in many other ways.

Annnnnwayyyy back to the catalogues.

Below is a selection of catalogue excerpts (mostly Kays) that were the staple of my childhood reading. And although they represent the frustration I felt, they were also a beautiful oasis for me, allowing an hour or so each week to take a well earned break from performative boyness.

[ghost-bxrd]

A while ago you posted a prompt about Jason getting drugged with something inappropriate warehouse that slows his heartbeat/pulse so his family thought he was dead again.

How would the Owl Song batfam react to that? 🦉

Dick would work through every single resuscitation measure and refuse to stop long after Tim tells him it’s useless. (Bruce can’t make that call. Bruce can’t. Not again… and that’s— that’s what Tim is for. Right? He’s just— not sure he can pull them back from the brink a second time. He wants to plead with Jason to wake up desperately. But someone has to keep it together. Someone has to— has to—…)

It’s Ethiopia 2.0. Only that Dick knows that this happened because he wasn’t paying attention to his owlet. AGAIN. But it’s okay this time. It’s okay. Because Dick is here. and he’s not leaving ever again. It’s fine. The casket’s just gotta be big enough to fit two this time.

[daetrng]

went back and painted over an old sketch ^_^

[toranoya]

Book 2: Secrets

@leafageinthewind​​

In the morning, Kai sighed as he looked at the sleeping Otaku and smiled as he tucked in his snoring cellmate some more. “Sorry buddy, I can do this on my own. You get some sleep.” Kai said as he dressed into his flight gear and snuck out of his room and snuck around the temple to go unseen as he got down to the stables to get his ride. “Hi Lefty, sorry it’s so early buddy but we got to go.” Kai said as he fed Lefty an apple in apology and then got his bag and saddles and was off to do his patrol…

Tenzin wasn’t going to happy about this…

[modelsof-color]

Kai Newman and Mohamed Muse by Chris Lensz for Arena Homme Magazine Issue 60

[babyyarlert]

Kai Hensdale

Full name: Malakai Hensdale (he/him)

African British, Japanese

• Cis man, demisexual

• Age: 25 (Aug 9)

• Signs: Leo𖤓, Aquarius☾, Taurus↑

• Personality: Can come off a bit intimidating at first but he’s really a sweetheart, loves hard and hurts harder but very quick to shield his heart when we he’s hurting, scared of being vulnerable, golden boy, perfectionist, intelligent

• Height: 6’1 or 185cm

• Eyes: dark brown

• Hair: black

Occupation

• Veterinary assistant

• Currently in veterinary school

Family/Background

• Kai was born in the countryside of Henford-on-Bagley to a farmer father and a teacher mother. His parents were well-mannered, middle-class citizens and very traditional, conservative Christians.

• Shortly after Kai was born, his family moved to Mt. Komorebi for better job opportunities. He grew up speaking Japanese with his peers and immersing himself in the local culture.

• After high school, Kai moved to San Sequoia to pursue an undergraduate degree in biochemistry.

• Coming from a traditional and conservative background, Kai has always struggled with self-acceptance due to his sexuality. He aims to please his parents and has never come out to them for fear of their reactions.

Friends

• He’s known Jett since grade school.

• Other friends that may be mentioned in the story but aren’t important

Relationship

• Single

• He and Jett started off as friends then grew closer and eventually fell in love and began dating. They broke up when Jett ‘moved’ away in their teenage years.

• His worries/insecurities in a relationship are mostly that he will never be enough.

Hobbies

• He enjoys watching and playing basketball

• Taking his golden retriever, Lila, for long walks and hikes

Random facts

• He’s a polygot and speaks about 5 languages. 3 of them fluently.

• He’s left handed

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

Having consulted with my chief creative officer (myself), I have decided that the current passage is insufficiently thirsty for a Dime who has expressed interest in Kay before.

This shall be revised.

[signedarollermain]

Ugh, I had things to get to today!

[gccdstories]

@wickedpeachie (Paedyn) sent an ask to (Kai) //

“I hate that I would crawl on my knees to you, for you. And you can’t even look at me? Do I mean so little to you?”

His mind screams at him to turn around. Even as his shoulders are tense, his back is straight. Even as his fingers clench into fists so hard that he's sure his nails are digging marks into his palms. A breath exhales, steady. Slow. His eyes close, but whether that helps Kai keep from turning back to face her or not, he's unsure.

Unsure if it helps--or makes it worse.

Oh Kai knows what he needs to say. What he should say. The words whisper so sweetly in his mind, and it'd be so easy to say them, right? To deny any feeling, any emotion. To bury whatever might have tried to rise up, to convince himself that it had died, shattered and destroyed and burned, the night his father was murdered in the mud--

He's been lying to himself for months. Why does this moment seem any different than the others?

And yet, despite what he's convinced himself of-- Kai sighs, shakes his head, but still doesn't turn back to face her.

❝ You're not mine. I don't-- I don't guess you ever were... ❞

[cobra-wives]

it’s always “eli and the hawk persona as a metaphor for masculinity/the queer experience” but it’s never eli and the hawk persona as a metaphor for the neurodivergent experience and masking. hawk is CLEARLY eli’s way of masking - he is literally following a social script, adhering to social cues and speech patterns he created to look tougher out of a need to SURVIVE. he literally distances himself away from demetri who is LITERALLY THE DEFINITION of neurodivergency (misunderstanding social cues, special interests, slower development when it comes to karate) out of fear that he might be perceived as anything that isn’t his neurotypical persona.

sure we talk about it, but we don’t talk about it in the sense of how powerful that makes the bond between him and demetri - “this is who you are.” “a loser?” “my best friend. i know you think that that mohawk defined who you are. but it didn’t. not to me.” it is the most POWERFUL thing to me when we get this narrative where demetri will stand by his side not in spite of or because of his neurodivergency but just understand that it’s a part of him. no babying, no shoving one part or another down - just acceptance. and only when eli gets that acceptance is the mohawk not a mask anymore, but a facet of his own personal beliefs, dreams and interests. hell, it’s why i can finally say that YEAH - I’M LETTING HIM WEAR THE AMERICAN MOHAWK. it isn’t some persona he wears anymore like a lie - it’s his enthusiasm for his special karate interest. and i like joking about flag desecrations, so why not.

this is a very happy/positive ramble, so i’m not going to get into complaining about how more often than not the mischaracterization of eli peeves me off so bad because my brain unconsciously connected it to people infantilizing autistic characters. LET AUTISTIC CHARACTERS HAVE FLAWS AND EXPERIENCE EMOTIONAL TURMOIL IN THEIR HIGH SCHOOL JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVERY! IT’S FUN!

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

From all of the cast who's best friends with who? Like who would call dibs when teaming up?

Welp:

It's no surprise that Cole's go-to choice is Zane, but beyond the elephant in the room, they are each other's oldest + longest-lasting friend, and know each other best. They often fall into line with one another without even having to ask!

Similar to Cole and Zane, Kai and Jay tend to fall into sync automatically, as despite their tendency to take shots at each other their elements complement one another well and they both know how to get the most out of each other's fighting style.

If Nya and Lloyd weren't already Ride or Die, they'd wind up with one another anyway given how much the Core Four tend to head off doing their own thing a fair chunk of the time. Suits Nya just fine though—although we gotta be careful that Lloyd's enthusiastically destructive tendancies don't rub off on her snknksnk

Antonia probably shouldn't be weaseling her way into anything remotely dangerous, but when she does she's obviously tagging along with Jesse (at least, until Nelson gets into the picture). Jesse never fights it because he knows he's not gonna win shgfdhggd

Sunni's de facto best friend may be Samantha, but whenever she does wind up entangled with some Ninja Things, she's tag-teaming with Miranda (in which they may get distracted talking about Jay or sci-fi topics), and/or Harleigh (depending on the point-in-time...and Harleigh's mood)

This is prolly gonna sound somewhat bizarre, but I plan to have Skylor and Pixal team up often because they are both badass and cool and I desire more of their dynamic. We had a teeny taste in Crystalized and I want MOAR (...at least, once Pixal starts to warm-up to Skylor after, y'know, Skylor's dad tearing her apart and stuff.)

Olivia: Since Nya has replaced me with garbage, I'll just have to take Bridget instead 😤  Bridget: No, no you're nOT—

Brad/Sally/Gene and Chad/Maggie/Meghan all come as packaged set within their trios, though while they're not ~main~ characters, they'll show up often enough during shenanigans to be mentioned and I love their dynamics with one another (despite Chad's group being jerks at this moment in time) but aaaah I'm so excited to use them more—they're not exactly friends but they do eventually see the similarities in one another and it's so fun

Harumi, meanwhile:

[yellowarchivee]

Cassidy's Art

[rxcklessdxvotion]

(crew-from-capulet) Text From Kay: Hello. Where are you? And are you currently fucked out of your mind?

Most of the time his phone vibrated, it was about business he was involved in. Only when a longer but temporary relationship was in the offing, be it drug dealing or other circumstances, did he give anyone his number, but this time when he looked at the display, he was overcome first by a strange new feeling... then anger.

Matthew quickly reached for his cell phone and typed.

[TXT]: The fuck u talking about…?

Then he remembered that the last time they had parted ways was in some sort of argument. He believed that Kay was the only one to blame, because he had acted like a petulant bitch.

[TXT]: What do you want? [TXT]: Weed? [TXT]: Sex? [TXT]: Or both…? ;)

As always, he just couldn't help himself.

@crew-from-capulet

[littlequeenies]

Books We Own

Some of our muses are also authors, specially autobiographers.

Here are some books we own by or about some of our favourite muses:

Aumont, Tina:

Jean Azarel: Waiting for Tina (2019).

Barrymore, Drew:

Little Girl Lost (1990).

Boyd, Jenny:

Jennifer Juniper (2023).

Boyd, Pattie:

Wonderful Tonight (2007), My Life in Pictures (2022).

Buell, Bebe:

Rebel Heart (2001), Rebel Soul (2022).

Corr, Andrea:

Barefoot Pilgrimage (2019).

Courson, Pam:

Patricia Butler: Angels Dance and Angels Die (2007).

Doherty, Shannen:

Badass (2010).

Hunt, Marsha:

Undefeated (2005).

Parrott, Demri:

Ruth Stacey and Krista Kay: The Dark Room (2021).

Happy World Book Day and Enjoy Your Readings!