#musings; buffy

[st-just]

Honestly this extremely slow Buffy rewatch mostly just making me more and more angry at how nothing gets 20+ episode seasons anymore. The zany bullshit filler is great! It adds so much charm and character! And lets you really make a status quo feel status quo-ey before upending it!

[esthercism]

"And in a few week's time..."

"The stars will align and smile down on us."

"And then, God, this town will burn."

[leagueofdccm]

PLEASE LIKE THIS IF YOU WISH TO BE MAINS WITH MY MUSES The only thing I do ask of you is that if there is a certain muse you want, please write in the comments on who you want. It doesn't matter how many you want. but least i know if i ever send memes, or starters for y'all i know WHO YOU WANT already.

DOING THIS BECAUSE if anything needs organization it's this damn blog. lmao. Hello yes, to have things going on this blog I think i gotta make it organized, and see who wants to do things with my muses. If we are mains it means i will work on our threads first, the memes you send me will be worked on as well. any ideas you want, you can throw it my way without an issue ! also forming ooc connections along with our ic connections. if you want to ship, we don't have to go through the process of friends,or strangers-- we can establish the relationship between our muses. I am doing this to be more organized on my blog, and seeing who actually wants to interact with any of my muses to begin with.

Please, I ask of you-- trust it's annoying I know lmao. but do leave which muses you want for your muses if you are a multi-muse. As much as you want. I do crossovers do please throw in something you always wanted to do ! and those who aren't multi-blogs well just comment on which muses you want for your muses as well. To anyone who wants to be my main you will be my priority !! All the edits, all the love and all the plotting we can work on together !! ooc chit-chats and forming many amazing dynamics ! Headcanons, you name it !!! So please like this, and comment on who you want. I will also list names of my muses below to make it easier for y'all. go nuts. toss your oc's at my muses. whatever you want.

boys :

twd male muses : rick , daryl , oc jack smith , alden The boys : soldier boy, homelander, a-train, boomer ( ppg adapted to the boys ) you male muses : joe riverdale male muses : jughead , sweetpea , archie horror series muses : chucky , ghostfact caos male muses : nick until dawn : mike soa : jax taller last of us : joel Got : ramsay

girls :

twd female muses : maggie , rosita , michonne, beth the boys : starlight, bubbles ( ppg adapted to the boys ) you female muses : beck , peach riverdale female muses : betty horror series muses : tiffany caos male muses : sabrina got : sansa

[redhatmeg]

Well, people, it's time for "dumb crossover ideas nobody asked for"!

Buffy and co. go back in time and end up in Camelot where they meet Merlin.

Long story short, while they learn about how Camelot has strict magic ban and try to figure out how to return to Sunnydale, Merlin and Buffy bond over sharing an impossible destiny that ruins their social life. (Also Giles learns he comes from a Pendragon bloodline and he's kinda disturbed by our boy Uther).

Come to think of it, I wouldn't be surprised if this already exists somewhere on ff.net or AO3.

[theajaheira]

sometimes i think about that one vintage angel fic set in s2 about his integration into the group and his journey towards true happiness involving moments where he looks at the scoobies and sees people he killed who remind him of them. that fic changed my brain chemistry

[yoursummerfrost]

i think you'll stay

I really don't know what to tell you. Twenty-two months ago I started writing a silly little coffee shop AU where Buffy was a long-suffering barista at Giles' coffee shop and Spike William was the dorky customer she ran illegal latte experiments on and who definitely didn't have any weird secret hobbies or anything. Then it turned out that this fic was cursed and/or prophetic and I stopped being able to write for a year and a half. But now I'm back and I finished the motherfucker. Welcome to the Bean Box, bitch.

—

Rating: E

Word Count: ~75k

Pairing(s): Spike/Buffy, Buffy & Dawn

Summary: 

Buffy says, "No, but see, the thing is that good things look a lot like good things until you find out they're bad things, and I am really just full-up on bad things forever, thanks. Only lukewarm things for Buffy."

"That's the spirit, B!" Faith claps Buffy hard on the back, spilling some of William's coffee onto her shoes. "Let ole Willy warm ya up."

"Extremely not what I meant," says Buffy.

AKA: The one where Buffy works at a coffee shop and William is her favorite customer.

Read here on AO3!

[bangelism]

‘i look in peoples windows’ is SOOO angel i’m going to be sick.

and because i can’t edit, i will ramble:

‘i look in peoples windows, in case you’re at their table, what if your eyes looked up and met mine, one more time’ every time i hear those lines i INSTANTLY see those bangel scenes in btvs 4x08, AND the connor scene at the end of 4x22 when he’s watching connor and his new family from the window. and my heart breaks every single time.

angel is forced to live life by ‘looking through windows’. this idea he must instead imagine or fantasise about a life he *could have had* because he isn’t allowed to have it. the life he sees through ‘windows’. windows acting as a literal, but also a metaphor for longing and dreaming, as she describes how she fantasies about the ‘if only’ and the agony of ‘not knowing’ how something could have turned out.

in my opinion, the two major loves and losses of angels life that fundamentally change him in the most significant ways, are buffy and connor. people whose lives he has to seperate himself from, out of fear of hurting them, and so he is forced to watch their lives through windows. both in the literal and the metaphorical swift uses in the song.

the window of ‘i will remember you’. the what if’s. what if there was more time? if the day didn’t have to be reversed? where would they be now? how would their lives have changed? would they live in sunnydale or somewhere else? would they be married yet? what if they started a family? or got a cat. maybe a dog. or maybe pets just aren’t for them. if only…

the window of connor’s childhood. what if he was never taken? what if angel got to raise him? who would he have been? what would his favourite toy have been? what was his favourite colour? what would have his first steps been like? or his first day of school? and the last? would he have been quiet and shy like his dad or the complete opposite? would he have been the most bubbly bright boy you’ve ever met. was he really going to be left handed? if only…

knowing angel, knowing how introspective he is, how much time he must spend inside his mind. how he ruminants and sifts through memories with the most intricate detail (just like how swift describes doing in the song as well) i have no doubt he has spent hours combing through the what ifs of his life.

all those times he spent staring out of those huge wall length windows at wolfram & hart, staring out into the sunlight, transfixed by rose golden glows and a world he cannot touch.

[angelique-of-the-volturi-guard]

So here’s the thing: I think a good chunk of the BTVS fandom thinks of Giles as a father figure to Buffy (of which I am one). But he discourages her from it, and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that his trauma with his own father wasn’t healed. His representation of who fathers are supposed to be is already unhealthy, and he can see the absence of Hank in Buffy’s life is a void that needs to be filled in terms of guidance and wisdom. But he’s also very aware of what he’s capable of (i.e. Eyghon, what he did to Ben, etc.) and believes (as many abused children do) that he doesn’t fit the idyllic version of fatherhood that he might have wished for for himself. He isn’t particularly warm on first glance (though he can be), did a lot of terrible things in his life, doesn’t have a steady partner. He can anger and isn’t an infinite well of patience and forgiveness. He cannot conceptualize the idea that he’s the closest thing she has to an involved father figure in her life because that idea is terrifying. Because as a Watcher he can do his job fine but what the hell does he know about being a dad when his own was terrible to him? He doesn’t want her to get hurt by another father figure in her life, and especially not by him. Not because he doesn’t love her or care about her that way but because he feels he is deeply inadequate for the role.

Giles is already traumatized severely. He was attacked at the watcher academy at age 18 by a lorophage demon that killed several people as part of his training. Several watchers including his father had to stop the demon and save him before he died. He wasn’t much older than Buffy when he faced his own mortality, but being alive far longer than her, he faced far more death with little time to process it. His friend Deirdre who died when he was rebelling with dark magic. Not to mention that as a watcher he’s seen a ton of death by his job alone. Then you have Buffy’s first death and Jenny’s brutal death in season 2, not to mention the whole thing with Ethan being back and dragging up his past, then losing his job as a watcher, and a librarian by the end of Season 3.

By season 4 Giles is struggling. He has no employment, Buffy is growing less dependent on him, and he’s struggling to come to terms with what to do with his life. But as he’s trying to prepare to move on with his life, Buffy tells him she needs him and he stays because he loves and cares about her. But after Joyce’s death and her resurrection, he realizes that she’s relying on him so much that she’ll never move forward with him as a crutch. When he’s stepping back he doesn’t perceive this as an abandonment. He’s trying to give her a chance to figure it out on her own. And despite the fact that he is sad to go he knows he’s trying to do right by her. She perceives it as an abandonment and so do we, because why wouldn’t we? This is her show and her perspective. We’ve seen all the love they both have for one another and the respect. But this is a man who has lost so much already. Who has had no time to really process the fact that he has suffered egregiously. Who doesn’t really know a life outside of the job. Who has been shown to seek normalcy when he can.

Of course he loves Buffy like a daughter, and of course leaving her was incredibly hard. He’s been by her side for years. He’s not leaving her as she perceives, he wants her to grow. She can’t see it that way because of all of the trauma she’s gone through, and who could blame her? Getting ripped out of heaven must have been awful. For the life of me I’ve been trying to figure out why he left right after that (okay I know it was Tabula Rasa but close enough) and what I keep coming back to is the fact that he’s not just watching her fall apart- it’s everybody. Dawn is a Kleptomaniac, Willow is getting into the dark magic, Buffy is depressed and a shell of her former self, and Xander and Anya have their share of issues. He’s been the go to man for all of them for so long, and I don’t think his decision was driven as much by Buffy alone as it was by a feeling of burnout and pressure. He cannot carry all of this by himself but this is literally what he’s been doing the whole time.

This is a man who has tried to make up for his mistakes. He’s held himself accountable for his actions. And Buffy and her friends aren’t taking that accountability for their problems by that point. He told them at one point to think of him as an uncle because he can’t see himself as a father figure, but ultimately stepping away to take care of himself and allowing all of them to find their footing is very much akin to a dad stepping back from the lives of his kids to give them a chance to stand on their own. And they all end up rising to the occasion in the end like he believed they would. And despite that, he always shows up for Buffy when she needs him most.

He is a Dad to the lot of them (Buffy especially of course) in the ways that matter, but is completely blind to it because of his own thought distortions and trauma, and I think he gets penalized a lot for it in S6 & 7. And while I absolutely hated the way his arc was handled (he deserved a way better S6 & 7 in terms of his character development, finding his place in the world, and healing himself), I get why he saw things as he did. The early seasons are a better reflection of who he is on the whole as a person (esp seasons 2 & 4) but I get riled up when I hear people talking about him abandoning Buffy in later seasons when he’s literally in the midst of some of the worst trauma of his life. It’s not an accurate representation of what he was trying to do and I think he deserves more grace. He was trying to do what he thought was right, and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love or care for Buffy or the rest of the Scoobies. But he is a whole person, who suffered massively, and deserved the same compassion that he gave those he cared about and didn’t get it back from the Scoobies and the fandom when he deserved it and needed it most.

Anyway just my two cents but this has been bugging me for a while.

[drvcxrys]

(¸.• ♛ → "hey, listen to me." the blonde says looking at angel. "i don't know what's going on here but i need you to help me with this, okay? if something happens to me in this chaos...promise me you will try to make me remember, whatever the means necessary." she needed him to promise her that, just in case.

random starter for @mischiefxmuses (angel)

[kyliafanfiction]

The insistence that a long-lived (as in, centuries or milennia) character absolutely must be something other than straight, specifically because they live so long has got to be one of the most annoying and infuriating things in canon.

The explanation, insofar as there is a coherent one, is that if you live for that long... of course you'd be into your own gender because... boredom? Or... something? It never really makes sense to me.

Like, by that logic, someone who is gay or a lesbian who lives for centuries can't be that either, because obviously they'd get bored and want to be with the opposite gender too?

But I've never seen anyone argue that. But like - either sexuality is a choice, or it's not. Now, yes, it is more complicated than that, but some people are just straight. They can live a thousand years, and they may indeed even try their own gender out of boredom, but they may not. And there's no promise they'll like it.

Like, hc whatever sexualities you want for this that or the other long-lived character/type of being/etc that you want, but the argument 'they have to be not-straight because long lived' is not a good one, and really, really, really treading onto tricky ground, to put it lightly.

I run into this the most wrt to Vampires in fandoms, and more specifically, BtVS with Spike, Angel, and Anya (not a vampire, but a 1000-year old demon nonetheless) and like - yes, fine, if you want them to be gay or bi, go for it, but length of their life really means nothing on whether someone is bi or not?

And with Anya in particular, I just - look, this is just me, but for someone who likes sex as much as Anya, and hates men as much as Anya, if she could get orgasms from women without any male involvement, I'm pretty damn sure she'd be doing that and she'd never dated Xander in the first place, even if she was technically bi. But she doesn't do that, so like... pretty sure she's straight?

But again, regardless of that, her age doesn't mean she has to be 'not straight'. Makes no damned sense.

[angelthemanspanker]

tumblr I can't help it if he's fucked 26 or more guys

[theajaheira]

i feel like at some point i have to write my latest bangel plot bunny just to counterbalance all the violent hatred of them??? like they’re FASCINATING. y’all just think the show doesn’t know that this is a deeply fucked up relationship, which is sorta fair bc the show can’t decide + wants to have its cake and eat it too (buffy and angel are somehow simultaneously Teenage True Love and Genuinely Fucked Up Power Dynamic) BUT “the show can’t decide” is so hugely different from “the show doesn’t know it’s fucked up and thinks it isn’t” and so sometimes i will see bangel hater takes and they will actually hurt my soul

[blue-eyed-banshee]

This songs gives me so many feels about many of the muses! Sylvanas dancing with Jaina in their two-story home they had claimed somewhere between the shores of Tiragarde Sound and a forest where Sylvanas would feel more at home. This also reminds me alot about Willow and Tara's relationship as well and the Faith/Buffy ship! There are many others this remind me of, but it would be a long post. This is one of my favorite songs and it's so sad about Selena's death but she left a legacy of greatness and a heartwarming presence.

[annoyangle]

NOW, NOTHING IS LESS FUN THAN COURT-MANDATED FUN, BUT BY ME WE SURE NEED SOME DING DANG WHIMSY AROUND HERE! ALSO FRANKENSTEIN REMINDED ME: MAYBE I SHOULD GO TRACK THIS GUY DOWN AND MAKE A DEAL WITH HIM JUST FOR THE GIGGLES. WE MIGHT HAVE FUN, AND THE DUDE HAS SNAKE AMBITIONS! HOW CAN I NOT REWARD SNAKE AMBITIONS AND EATING A BUS FULL OF KIDS AT THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR?

I COULD LIFT THIS GUY FAR ABOVE ONE PETTY LITTLE HELLMOUTH AND ONE PETTY LITTLE CLASS OF HIGH SCHOOLERS. PLUS, SUNNYDALE DOESN'T HAVE A WEIRDNESS FIELD. HMMMMMMMMMMMM. MAYOR BILL-KINS KINNA HAS A NICE RING TO IT! HAHAHAHA

[heathtalbot]

ogden npc students be like:

[rainbowxfmuses]

//Now that I have Buffy I had to. I kind of want to make some kind of story when I get Spike and other characters in the future. Wil looks really short because I lost her stand, but it just looks like a cute forehead kiss.