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thegoodomensdumpster · 4 years

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(1) I'm fat and I fucking love the crumbs, it's such a bummer that they won't be around anymore. Besides, stereotype or not, some fat people (like myself) are messy and gross and some aren't and that's okay. I liked seeing myself represented in Aziraphale here, and it sucks that it's now being cencored. I'm fat and I'm messy and the fact that people want to hide that that's a thing makes me feel more ashamed about who I am than I wouldn have been if it was just left alone.

(2) I'm sick of the trope that fat people have to always be pristine and constantly ON AIR just to be given the same respect that a thin person would have, even if they themselves were also messy. I loved your crummy Aziraphale, he made me feel like I was still worth something and capable of great things and worthy of a dedicated love. He made a lot of people feel like that. Art shouldn't be cencored. This asks breaks my heart a little, because... I’m not the authority on validating people of course, but in case anyone needs to read that: OF COURSE you are worthy of love and respect and just being a human if you are messy, if you are fat, if you are messy and fat, or if you happen to fit a stereotype that mainstream media have rendered harmful. Because you are people, not fictional characters, and you exist beyond these stereotypes boundaries. You are complex, and alive, and your existence matters.

More under the cut for discussion on character design, stereotypes, tumblrfoolery, and my own incapacity to know what to do. The most important bit is above, but if you guys want to take part into a bigger conversation with me, either by replying to this post or MPing me, I’m welcoming you with open arms. It got a bit long, but hopefully it isn’t too confused.

(Also, quick side note: I’m not deleting any of the crumb jokes previously made, so if you miss them, you can still find them in the archive of this blog under the crumb omens hashtag.)

My opinion on character design is actually this one: there is no inherently harmful trait for a certain type of people, it is all a question of context and quantity. In the case of a character that is fat and messy, if it just happens that, among other fat people, one of them is messy, then it’s not a stereotype, and it’s not harmful. However, in our current media landscape, those two attributes happen to be associated way too often, enough that it leads to essentialisation of fat people ( aka: if you’re fat, you’re necessary messy, lazy, etc... these reductive associations are almost systematic ).

In the context of my blog and my work at large, if you’re familiar with it, I think it’s safe to say that I, personally, don’t use the fat and messy character as a stereotype, because I also depict other fat characters as non messy characters. Thats for my context. That’s also probably why, when I made all the crumb jokes, I didn’t even think about this stereotype.

But the thing is, I don’t post my fanarts in a vacuum. Especially on Tumblr where posts tend to have a life of their own when they get reblogged. They get cut from their context, hence only showing the tip of the iceberg, which is what I consider to be a harmful stereotype. And even within their context, it might still come as insensitive and hurt people who have been badly affected by this stereotype. And this has nothing to do with my original intentions.

This would lead to the consideration of how much of a private / public venture exactly a blog is, and to what extent should we take mainstream depictions into account when we design characters ourselves, and how much can we expect people to take things into the context of the OP’s work, or the OP’s blog, or the website it was posted on... This is something I’m scratching my head over, I’m not sure I have an answer to that. I’m not even sure there is an answer to that. But what I know is that this specific blog, though it still is MY blog, also has a following big enough that I cannot fully consider it as private ( although, I never consider any internet space to be really private ...).

However, I one hundred percent agree that there is a huge issue in, as a reaction to these harmful strereotypes, not allowing minorities and oppressed group as appearing any less than perfect. This is a terrible response, a terrible pressure, and it’s as much dehumanizing as only seeing people through the prism of stereotypes. And I know I can not satisfy everyone when I make a choice, but I do try to make the choices that hurt the less, or at least the ones that won’t hurt the group of people I care about (and by that I mean: I would not hesitate to make fatshamers feel ill at ease, but I do not want to hurt fat people over fatphobia).

So, yeah, it does feel like I fell into another trap that ends up guilt tripping people. But I don’t know how to react, I don’t where to stand, because I don’t know which reaction would bring the less suffering. It seems that there is no perfect answer, and fat people might get hurt either way. I just know that, since I’ve been made aware of the kind of hurt the crumb jokes could do, I’m feeling uncomfortable myself continuing them. So, this is not strictly censorship. Because, at least right now, I don’t feel like I want to continue them either. Maybe my mind will change, I don’t know, but I have the feeling that maybe my issue is mostly based on the media (aka: a tumblr post) rather than the joke itself. Because if, for instance, I had one messy fat character in a comic book where you can see other fat characters in all their diversity and complexity, then it wouldn’t feel like I’m tapping into a stereotype, and therefore I doubt it would make a lot of fat people ill at ease. Because that one messy fat character could hardly be cut from the context of its book. But with a tumblr post that can escape its context or directly be surrounded in a tumblr search on my blog by other similar post declining the same messy joke with the same fat character... I don’t know.

I just, really, really don’t know.

I feel saddened by the hurt I’m doing to people either way, and I’ve received several messages of fat people telling me they liked the crumb jokes. But I cannot know if people who were actually hurt are just silent on this issue or if I’m just ... anticipating a hurt that wasn’t there to begin with ( because the original message that made me aware of this issue wasn’t actually written by someone who personnally felt ill at ease at that joke, it was just pointing it out as fatphobic, which I agreed to be an issue as well ).

So, yeah. If you have any insight on this issue, absolutely feel free to contact me. This is an important conversation to have, or at least it is to me, and it touches on many important topics so it’s ... potentially long and convoluted and confusing. But I want to learn, I want to do better, and I want to help people feel good about themselves. This is possibly my number one goal as an artist.

#yiha blogs #long post #crumb omens #fatphobia #Anonymous #ask #my stuff

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matildainmotion · 3 years

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All That We Carry - and the launch of the MWM Peer Mentoring Programme.

Image by Zoe Gardner @limberdoodle

“How are you?”

“Oh, you know, surviving,” I say.

“Taking it a day at a time.”

“Just about upright!”

Or sometimes I say nothing but describe a hilly landscape with my hand - “Up and down,” I might add.

Over the last ten years, since my son was born, I have accrued a ready-made stock of replies when someone - at the school gate, the shops, on a zoom call- asks the generic “how are you?” I can’t bring myself to smile gaily and say, “Great, thank you!” so my responses are designed to indicate just enough of the truth not to make the questioner worried or burdened, but do not tip me into the territory of barefaced lying. Because, the fact is, it’s hard.

‘It’ means everything - my son, my daughter, their school, my mother, time for my husband, the house, my work, my health, my sleep, the world.

‘It’ is a tiny word. In this context ‘it’ makes me think of an ant - the way they clamber across the dirt track by our house, carrying a stick, twice their size and weight. We do this. Parents and carers do it. Women do it. Non-binary people too. We carry A LOT, and often we do it in relative silence, either because we are too exhausted to shout about it, or even to notice or fully acknowledged it to ourselves, or because we do not know who to tell or how to tell them.

This is not new. Not news. We have been doing this - carrying a lot - for a long, long time. In fact, there is even a well-researched theory that the first thing that a mother ever made was probably a net or sling* - a thing to put things in, to enable her to carry more than she could manage to hold with just her hands, just her arms. We have been carrying stuff around in nets, slings, sacks, pots, on our heads, on our backs, in our bellies, in our hearts, we have had loads on our minds for millennia. The act that is less well documented, because it happens less, is that of us setting things down. Of course, some brave pioneers have done it, through acts of radical art, or resistance: Hildegard of Bingen, Rosa Parks, Mary Wollstonecraft. But all too often when we hear of someone ceasing to carry it all, it is a story of crisis - of dropping the lot, out of exhaustion, ill health, burn out. Because mostly, as a carer, there are so few opportunities to set things down, we just carry on carrying.

Six months into motherhood, when I was feeling the hardness of it already, I enrolled on a support course for parents and I still remember the phrase that the course facilitator used: most parents, she said, walk around with “a huge empathy deficit.” Empathy, I believe, involves someone else bearing witness to all you are carrying, acknowledging its full weight. It is a miraculous thing, but this acknowledgment in itself lightens the load, or perhaps, more accurately, the load gets no lighter but we feel stronger, better able to bear it. Earlier this year - still feeling the struggle - I enrolled on another course, a Hand in Hand Parenting one. The founder of Hand in Hand, Patty Wifler, did so out of a recognition of the severe lack of support that parents receive in our culture to do the enormous task of raising children. A cornerstone of her approach, her answer to the ‘empathy deficit’ is the idea of Listening Partnerships - a peer support arrangement that enables parents to offload regularly, safely, with another adult.

For a long time now, I have wanted to run something like this within Mothers Who Make- a way to provide one another with support, encouragement and accountability, as we do the almighty work of caring and creating. It is the same impulse that informs our peer support groups, but there is something vitally different that can take place in a one to one exchange - a more precise sharing of the weight of what you are carrying, a chance, for however brief a time, to set it down and take a good look at it. This month then, I am delighted to announce the launch of the MWM Peer Mentoring Programme. I ran a trial in July and it was everything I hoped it could be, so I am very excited to offer it again now. Please read about the programme below - what it is, how it works, how to enroll. Before you do, however, I want to use this moment as I might a peer-mentoring session, to set down what I am carrying, not because I need empathy (though, like everyone else, I do!) but because I hope it will give you permission to do the same. One thing I love about writing is that, despite the distances of time and space it traverses, it is strangely intimate, like a one on one exchange - just me, telling this to just you.

So, in answer to the question, “How are you?” here is the fuller response, which I do not give most of the time:

I am tired, always, and tired of being tired. The nights feel like dark imprints of the days, a negative image, not restful but grainy, smudge. Last night I slept on the children’s bedroom floor because it was easier to relax without the pressure of being in a bed, with the hardness of the floor against me. Today my breasts are tender even though I am only partway through my cycle - I googled it - another symptom of the perimenopause. Next door, as I write, my son is playing Lego Star Wars on the TV and my daughter is watching Lego Friends on Granny’s iPad - their daily dose of screen time so that I can have my daily dose of this, but it never sits easy. I dread the week ahead, of dressing them in bed, still half-asleep, readying them for school, where it is uncertain how their day will go, how long they will stay before I get a call asking me to pick them up, how they will be when they come home - it is a shock, although it shouldn’t be, to realise that both my children are neurodiverse. This is a trendy term nowadays, one to celebrate, and I do, but it is also a weight, to carry all the not-fitting-in-ness that goes with it. The last two nights my son has thrown up with anxiety, from the fear of anything bad happening to any one of us. I managed to get the potty-as-sick-bowl there in time, on to his top bunk, calmed him at last, till he fell asleep just before midnight. I went downstairs to turn off the lights - I always stop at this moment, to look through the back window into the tiny dark of the garden, to Granny’s room, or shed, at the end of it, and wonder how long my mother will live and if it will be long enough to see my novel published - apparently it takes two years even once you’ve got a publisher. I told her this yesterday and she frowned, said she would have a word with God, thought she ought to be able to manage it. I am wondering, though, how I will manage it - manage to do the rewrites the book needs, to do the work MWM requires, and the work I have taken on for Improbable, the finding of a new home for the company, but also for us, a new school, a place for us to be. And meanwhile, the house is overspilling – every room - with toys, books, dvds, with plastic trinkets from the inside of Kinder eggs, dried up felt tip pens and stale biscuits, stored in tins too late, which I should throw away but I can’t face the waste and so I continue to pretend that one day they may get eaten.

That’s me. And all the short answers are still true - I am surviving, I am still upright, taking it a day at a time, through all the ups and downs, and I am, actually, in a position of great privilege, on many levels.

And you? How are you? That’s my question for the month. And I’m interested in the long answer. Here are some ways you can respond:

You can post below this.

You can participate in the MWM Peer Mentoring Programme - read all about it and apply here: https://motherswhomake.org/peer-mentoring

You can attend a peer support meeting - read all about that and book your space here: https://motherswhomake.org/international

*The Carrier Bag Theory of Evolution by Elizabeth Fisher in Women’s Creation (McGraw-Hill 1973)

Image by Zoe Gardner @Limberdoodle

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s13e06 · 5 years

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The Start of Something

Draco Malfoy / Female Reader

Harry Potter AU

Summary: Hogwarts Professor AU in which you are Scorpius’ favorite professor and you happen to meet his father, Draco Malfoy, out and about one day...

Warnings: mentions of passing

Words: 3.1K

Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4

Chapter 1

“So, do any of you know the answer to this question?” you asked while pointing your hand towards the board. Your class of fifth years only stared back at you with dumbfounded looks as they listened to your lecture. As you scanned your eyes over the room you found that most of them were desperately trying to avoid your gaze. You smiled at this, although they’d been at Hogwarts for all these years they were still just a bunch of goofy kids; uninterested in schoolwork.

Just as you were about to answer the question yourself a timid hand raised into the air. You instantly recognized the student who so bravely volunteered to answer.

His name was Scorpius Malfoy ad he was by far your favorite student. Unlike a lot of them, he always listened intently to your lectures. He took notes fluidly and participated well in class. Although it was clear to you that the other students didn’t seem to like him all that much. You assumed it was most likely due to who his father is and the famous stories around him that everyone knew. Poor Scorpius didn’t deserve the ridicule he got and as a result of that, you found yourself mentally favoring him even more.

“Yes, Mr. Malfoy?” you acknowledged him with a gentle smile.

“I believe the answer is that there is no way to kill a Boggart. You can only banish them really, professor” he replied a little shyly.

“Excellent! You’re exactly right. Ten points to Slytherin” you exclaimed proudly.

Scorpius beamed at your response as a few of the other Slytherins seemed to thank him quietly.

By the time class had ended you felt particularly drained. You hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and although today’s class itself had gone well, you were exhausted none the less.

A lot of pressure came with teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. You knew that the position itself was considered to be “cursed” and because of that they never held a professor for too long. However, this was already your third year and going strong. Nothing could shake you. You were at the top of your game.

Just as you were organizing your things to leave and head to the great hall a little knock sounded from the doorway. You turned slowly a little confused as to who it could be; usually, students seeking after class tutoring would just barge in with sighs and whines. Their informalities always amused you.

But when you turned to the doorway you saw no other than Scorpius Malfoy standing there looking a little awkward.

“Oh, hello Mr. Malfoy. What can I help you with?” you asked with a friendly smile.

“Ah, well you see professor... I just wanted to thank you” he said returning the smile.

His words threw you off a bit as you gave him a questioning look.

“What possibly for?” you laughed.

“F-for giving me a chance since day one. A lot of students… a lot of people really. They treat me different because of who my father is and what he has done in the past. What the Malfoy family has done… They always compare me to him in ways that are good and bad. They think I don’t hear the whispers in the halls or the see the curious stares they give me in class. I hate it… all the unnecessary attention. You were the first person to really treat me equally. To see me simply as Scorpius Malfoy. Not Scorpius Malfoy, the Draco Malfoy’s son.” He told you with a little sigh of relief at the end of his sentence.

You listened to his words with curiosity as you studied his body language. He was being so sincere at this moment. You couldn’t describe the sense of joy that washed over you as you realized that something as simple as teaching a class as you normally would… made all the difference for this boy.

Of course like anyone else you had heard all the stories, seen the headlines in the paper, and heard the adults whispering all about it. “Seems like that wretched Malfoy boy is getting off with a slap on the wrist” or “I always knew that family was no good. The whole lot of them should be thrown in Azkaban if you ask me”. By the time you had started your first year at Hogwarts, it had been two years since the infamous battle. So naturally, you hadn’t met any of the people that everyone loved to whisper about. Therefore you felt like it was unfair to believe everything you heard… and the thought never even occurred to you to hold the children of these people accountable. They weren’t even alive when it happened.

“Scorpius, you are by far one of the brightest and most interesting students I’ve met since teaching here. Your family name shouldn’t define who you are beyond your placement on my rollcall. Anyone who can’t see that clearly has nothing better to do with their time than spread ridiculous drama” You told him with a reassuring smile.

“Thank you, Professor” he returned your smile.

He seemed to be about to leave when the urge to address something overcame you.

“I know that it’s not really my business… and you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t feel comfortable” you started with an uneasy glance towards the boy. But he simply looked back at you awaiting your explanation.

“I know that things at home changed recently… and I’ve heard the whispers the other students have thrown around about you. I’m sure you have too and I just want to make sure that you’re ok. That you’re not letting them get to you too much about it.” You said a little anxiously.

“Are you referring to my mother passing?” he asked you as he leaned his body against a nearby desk seemingly to relax a little.

“I uh I am. I’m sorry if that’s crossing a line I’m sure it must be a sensitive subject” you hastily replied.

Scorpius only gave out a small chuckle before looking towards the ceiling of your classroom and giving a little sigh.

“Don’t worry, Professor. Enough time has passed now that I can handle discussing it. Not that many people want to do more than throw me a pitiful glance” he said a little spitefully.

You frowned at his tone, sincerely hoping that he didn’t think you were trying to make him feel helpless.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m pitying you, Scorpius. I can see that you’re a strong and educated young man. But I do know that even the toughest people can be torn down by the loss of someone close to them. We all deal with grief and move on from it in different ways. I just feared that the way people treat you is doing little good for you.” You spoke tentatively.

Scorpius turned to face you then. He studied you for a moment before his face twisted into an expression you’d never seen before. It was sadness.

“I won’t lie to you… it hasn’t been easy. I think that right after she passed was definitely the hardest. To have to come back to school to all the whispers and glances. I hated it. Things haven’t been the same since. Not really… not here ad not at home. But I know that mom wouldn’t want me to mope around. She was strong… and… and so I am” he breathed out confidently. “I appreciate your concern for how I’ve handled it… but honestly, the best thing you or anyone could do for me is to just treat me for me. Not for who I’ve lost and where I’ve come from… and so far professor you’ve done just that. So, thank you”

You felt a tightening in your chest as emotions overcame you. This boy has endured so much and yet all he asks is that everyone treats him without bias. It was honorable far beyond his years. But just as you were about to reply he interrupted you.

“I better be going. Albus is waiting for me in the great hall. I’ll see you later, Professor” he bid you goodbye with a smile as he shuffled out the door.

Staring at the empty space where the boy once stood you let a smile grow on your face. What a great kid.

The holidays were always the best times for you and your students. It meant a break from the busy school life and a chance to relax at home. But mostly for you, it meant a chance to catch up on everything you needed to do, and as you popped in and out of the shops on Diagon Alley that’s just what you were up to.

You desperately had to restock on some classroom supplies and the holidays were the perfect opportunity to get out and check off your list.

As you left Amanuensis Quills and headed back onto the street you gave your arms a little content sway as you walked. There was something oddly calming about shopping alone. It was almost therapeutic to just go about your business alone while watching all the witches and wizards around you laugh and scramble.

You didn’t want to head back just yet though, you were much too content with just walking around. With that decision in mind, you figured you’d just pop into Obscurus Books and peruse around a little. They always had something interesting to find there.

Making your way towards the shop you found that it was surprisingly busy for this time of day. There were so many people going up and down the streets it would have surely made you annoyed if you’d been in any hurry. Instead, you found it was nice to simply be a part of the massive crowd.

Stumbling along to your next destination.

Just as you were about to reach the front of Obscurus your shoulder collided harshly with the person beside you. You were in a slight daze before so it was safe to assume you veered into him without much thought. He was taller and much steadier than you and as a result, you stumbled back a little at the impact.

“I’m terribly sorry, sir” you apologized without even looking up to face the man; feeling a little embarrassed from the collision.

“Oh! Professor Y/L/N” spoke a voice from in front of you.

You knew that voice.

Raising your head up from its previous fixated stare on the ground you found yourself looking at none other than Scorpius Malfoy.

But he wasn’t alone.

No, standing directly beside him was the man you’d bumped into and as you looked at him you quickly realized who it was.

This was Draco Malfoy; famous wizard and father to your student Scorpius.

Suddenly you felt much more awkward than before.

What a first impression you thought to yourself.

“Hello, Mr. Malfoy” you spoke politely while giving the boy a warm smile. “a-and you must be his father. It’s a pleasure to meet you” you stammered out while extending your hand to the older Malfoy.

He gave you a quick once over before taking his hand in yours for a firm shake.

“Ah, of course, Ms. Y/L/N. Scorpius has told me much about you. The pleasure is all mine.” He spoke smoothly with a smile that caused your nerves to falter.

You hadn’t really noticed upon first glance but Draco Malfoy was quite handsome still considering his age. The last time you had seen him in the papers would have been at least fifteen years ago.

“Oh, well, I don’t know what he’s told you but I’m sure it’s more than I deserve” you laughed a little too lightheartedly as you looked at the stunning man before you. “Your son is by far one of the best students we have at Hogwarts right now. He is an absolute delight and I’m grateful to be his professor. You should be very proud of him”.

Scorpius seemed to grow visibly embarrassed by your words as he shuffled his feet. Draco, however, seemed to take your comment to heart as a warm smile spread across his face. He looked from his son back to you as he delighted in your comment.

“Well, I’d love to stay and chat some more but unfortunately we have some places to be after this” Draco told you with a calm voice. The way he spoke was so polite and reassuring… and yet you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was trying to get away from you.

“No worries. Of course, carry on. I’m so sorry to have distracted you” you apologized with a gesture of your hand towards the shop door.

Draco simply gave you a nod before turning to enter the shop as Scorpius followed closely behind. Just as they were about to completely disappear into the shop Scorpius popped his head back out a bit.

“Goodbye, Professor. It was nice seeing you” he said before ducking back inside.

Completely abandoning your previous plans to enter the book shop you continued to make your way down the busy street instead. Mentally replaying the encounter you just had. The more you thought about it the more you wanted to slap yourself for being so obviously star-struck with your own student’s father. It was ridiculous and unprofessional. It doesn’t matter how handsome and devilishly charming he seemed to be. It just wasn’t appropriate you decided.

If you ever saw the older Malfoy man again you’d be sure to compose yourself.

Definitely

Just before the end of the holiday break, you found yourself walking willfully into the Leaky Cauldron. You’re not sure what it was but the strangest urge to just relax into the background with a good fire whiskey in hand.

As you settled into a chair near one of the darker corners of the pub you couldn’t help but partake in a little people watching. You could easily admit that it was one of your favorite pass times. People were the most interesting when they think no one is watching them.

Your eyes shifted across the pub as you studied each patron. One woman in the corner opposite to you was fiercely arguing with the man in front of her who looked quite guilty. You’d love to know the drama behind that one.

Another man sat at a table in the middle of the pub was calmly writing something onto a piece of parchment. You really wondered what it could be about seeing as the entire page was nearly full.

Then as your eyes were about to drift on to another unsuspecting individual the doors to the pub opened as a man walked through.

But not just any man. No, of course not. It was Draco Malfoy.

You were in utter disbelief as you watched him stride slowly through the dimly lit establishment. It wasn’t just the fact that this would seemingly be the last place you’d expect to see Draco Malfoy but also the fact that you just so happened to be the professor for his son. The coincidence of this situation was uncanny.

You silently hoped that he wouldn’t notice you; given your inability to stay composed in front of him before.

But alas, you never did have the best luck.

You watched anxiously as his eyes met with yours. He seemed to be momentarily shocked as he analyzed your sitting form. You weren’t sure what he was thinking but he seemed to come to some kind of mental decision as he made his way over to you.

Unsure of where to look you shifted your gaze from down to your glass as he drew closer.

“Fancy seeing you here, Ms. Y/L/N” Draco spoke warmly in front of you.

You gave him a meek smile as you greeted him with a timid hello.

You gestured your hand to the seat across from you inviting him to sit.

“Please, join me.” You offered with the most confident smile you could muster.

“Don’t mind if I do. I suppose I’m long overdue for a decent chat” he chuckled.

“What brings you in here?” you asked him with a curious stare.

“Ah, I suppose it is rather odd-looking right?” he questioned playfully.

“N-no, it’s not that you don’t belong here… just that you were the last person I was expecting to see walk through that door” you defended yourself with a nervous string of words.

“Don’t worry, love. I take no offense. Really I just had the strangest urge to get away for a while. To sit somewhere quiet and just blend into the scenery. These days I don’t get recognized as much. A lot of the stories surrounding me are dying out with the newer generations anyway.” He shrugged a little as he talked.

“Well, I wouldn’t say you’re completely forgotten.” You replied hoping that your well-intended words were being received that way.

A short silence followed as he simply hummed in response to your remark.

“So” he began while leaning back against his chair “What’s it like teaching at Hogwarts?”

You blinked at the question slightly surprised he was taking interest in you at all.

“Well it’s a lot different from life as a student there” you chuckled “My school days were so boring though… I actually quite like teaching there. Every year a new group of interesting young witches and wizards I’ve never met arrive… and I have the pleasure of getting to know them”

Draco grinned as he listened to you speak.

“What year did you attend Hogwarts if you don’t mind me asking?” he questioned.

“Ah, my first year was 2000. So I wasn’t really around for any of the… well… you know” you trailed off a little unsure if it was appropriate to discuss such matters with someone who’d been directly involved.

“I see… Well, consider yourself lucky, Ms. Y/L/N. It wasn’t exactly a joyous time.” He said with a sort of forced smile.

You assumed he was trying to make you feel less awkward.

“You can call me Y/N if you’d like. Being referred to by my sir name makes me feel like I’m working” you laughed lightly.

“Alright then, Y/N. You can call me Draco” he replied.

“Okay, Draco” you spoke teasingly.

You watched as he smiled back at you in response.

There was a kind of flirtatious change in the air as too many giggles and smiles came from the two of you. It may seem like harmless fun between two consenting adults. But deep down you knew this wasn’t right.

This was the father of one of your students… and not to mention he was recently widowed only a few years back. It wouldn’t be right to expect anything more than casual friendship from him.

After all, he was just being polite.

----

Author’s Note: Hello! I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in forever. I had so much going on with me personally it was hard to find the free time... and when I did I had a serious case of writer’s block. Although I have another unfinished series I couldn’t stop myself from starting this one. I already have it all planned out and I hope you guys like it!

#Draco Malfoy #Draco #draco malfoy fic #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco fanfiction #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter au #harry potter imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco malfoy imagine

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lil-rosequartz-princess · 4 years

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I decided to grab a couple articles on cultural appropriation of smudging as well as ethical issues. Please feel free to discuss your feelings on this if you are of a tribe that uses smudging.

Smudging

Smudging, or saging, has become a trendy wellness practice that some people use to cleanse "bad energy" from their homes or their space. Smudging is an important ritual for many indigenous people: An article by Indigenous Corporate Training, Inc., a Canadian organization that delivers anti-bias trainings, says that “Smudging is traditionally a ceremony for purifying or cleansing the soul of negative thoughts of a person or place,” and that it is a term mostly originating from indigenous tribes in North America. So when non-native people burn sage to "smudge" their homes or other spaces, it can minimize the cultural importance of this ritual, and have a negative impact on how the herbs are grown. Instead, advocates say non-native people can learn to cleanse their spaces in ways that are culturally and ecologically sensitive. There are lots of ways to achieve the benefits of smudging by using more ethical practices, terminology, and materials.

“It was illegal for Natives to practice their religion until 1978 in the U.S., and many were jailed and killed just for keeping our ways alive, including my great-great grandfather,” Ruth Hopkins, a Dakota/Lakota Sioux writer, tells Bustle. Smudging is part of those practices. It’s so important to certain indigenous cultures, that Native people are fighting to be able to perform it in hospitals. Smudging, therefore, is not to be taken lightly.

Because white sage is in such high demand, thanks to this recent trendiness, the Chumash people (of what is now called Southern California) are concerned that the plant is being overharvested. The United States Department of Agriculture says that white sage has important medical benefits — it is used to cure colds and aid postpartum healing — and it’s a crucial part of the surrounding ecosystem. But some brands continue to sell white sage, despite Native communities speaking out against it. Hopkins says that this behavior is unacceptable. “It’s exploitative and amounts to silencing Native voices and erasing our cultural heritage,” she says.

For Hopkins, the appropriation of sage is made worse because the plant is often not being harvested correctly. “When using medicinal plants, it’s important that the plant is used sustainably. When we pick sage, we always leave the root and say a prayer of thanks for our harvest. This is as much a part of smudging (or saging) as burning the plant is,” Hopkins says. To explain further, it’s important to leave the root, because that’s how the plant grows back. If someone is harvesting white sage and doesn’t know to leave the root, they’re preventing more plants from growing.

If you have used herbs to cleanse your space in the past and enjoy the ritual, you don't have to give it up in order to so in a culturally conscious way. Smudging refers to a specific healing cultural spiritual practice, but smoke cleansing can look a lot like smudging, but it’s just the simple act of burning herbs, wood, incense, or other safe-to-burn materials that possess unique cleansing properties. The smoke is then waved over the area you want to cleanse. You can smoke cleanse whatever you want, as much as you want. Some cultures may have spiritual practices connected to smoke cleansing, but the act of smoke cleansing is not inherently spiritual or specific to a certain culture, like smudging is.

Personally, I like to smoke cleanse with a cinnamon stick. It leaves me feeling spiritually focused and relaxed. And there are other materials, including lavender, pine, and cloves, that can be burned safely. Palo Santo ("holy wood” in Spanish) sticks have been getting more popular as an alternative to sage, but buying this Central and South American tree used by Amazonian tribes can also be harmful, in similar ways to sage. Palo Santo has been added to the International Union for Conservation of Nature’s (IUCN) list, because its overharvesting can lead to extinction, although the tree is not nearing extinction currently.

If smoke cleansing is something that makes you feel calm, then go for it! It's important, however, that in the process, you're respecting Indigenous cultures and the land's ecosystem. That may mean harvesting your own sage or other herbs sustainably, contacting brands to ask them to stop selling white sage without giving due to Native cultures, or using another material. Ultimately, being intentional about how you implement this practice in your life — and being mindful about its origins and significance — is helpful for everyone.

Source: https://www.bustle.com/p/is-burning-sage-cultural-appropriation-heres-how-to-smoke-cleanse-in-sensitive-ways-18208360

Sage

This year it was evident due to the social media reaction that people were expressing anger and concern over the increase in commercialization of white sage (Salvia apiana) and the cultural appropriation and offensive marketing that overlooks ethics and ecological, cultural awareness of a deeply sacred and spiritual plant.

The rumblings on social media in regards to those who claimed to wildcraft white sage, along with selling the wildcrafted material that was being gathered from public lands, were clues that the balance between respectful wildcrafting and the use of terms like “ethical wildcrafting and sustainable wildcrafting” for personal use versus commercial gain was being pushed to its limit.

In October of 2018, “Cleaning Space Kits” including white sage bundles appeared on the shelves of Anthropologie, and with the collective social media outcry they were removed from the stores almost immediately—thank you, Anthropologie. At this time white sage can be purchased on Amazon and Walmart websites and on the shelves of stores such as Urban Outfitters in pre-packaged new aged kits. This is a serious indicator of alarm for many who know and respect the ecological and cultural fragility of this plant.

One of the most active voices in the social media outcry is the IG @Meztliprojects. Meztli Projects is an Indigenous based arts and culture collaborative, based in Los Angeles. Meztli Projects brilliantly updated the Wikipedia page on white sage to provide information on the recent controversy, citing the illegal harvest arrests and current press on this issue over the last two years.

Commercial harvest of wild white sage populations is a concern held by many Native American groups, herbalists, and conservationists. In June 2018, four people were arrested for the illegal harvest of 400 pounds of white sage in North Etiwanda Preserve in California.

It is very difficult when companies make claims of sustainable harvest when we have no accountability within a very secretive trade. In some cases permits are given on public lands for commercial harvest of economically valued plants, but in the case of white sage no such permit exists. The only way this would be legal is if harvesting took place on private land with permission. What I learned when I was in California and visited the Etiwanda Preserve was that it is the epicenter of the current commercial harvest. The rangers that I spoke with described a very difficult situation in that it is mostly undocumented individuals that are desperate for the work, putting themselves in danger, sneaking into the Etiwanda Preserve to harvest. The residents living near the preserve, working with law enforcement to help coordinate efforts to address the issue were responsible for the recent arrest in June of 2018. This came about when four undocumented individuals were arrested with over 400 pounds of white sage harvested from the preserve.

The North Etiwanda Preserve is a unique Riversidean Alluvial Fan Sage Scrub plant community that provides protection for a number of sensitive plant and wildlife species, several of which are Federal or State listed threatened or endangered. Listed endangered species that may occur on the Preserve include the least Bell’s vireo, California gnatcatcher, the southwestern willow flycatcher, and San Bernardino Merriam’s kangaroo rat. Sensitive species include Los Angeles pocket mouse, San Diego black-tailed jackrabbit, American badger, coastal cactus wren, San Diego horned lizard, coastal western whiptail, Southern sagebrush lizard, San Bernardino ring-necked snake, coastal rosy boa, Coast patch-nosed snake, mountain yellow-legged frog, two-striped garter snake, Parry’s spineflower, and Plummer’s mariposa lily.

The Management Plan for the preserve acknowledges that the area is considered to be a sacred site by the Gabrielino-Shoshoni Nation and Serrano people and is currently being used for cultural purposes. It further states in the management plan their priority actions of conducting historical research, coordinating with tribes to facilitate access for ceremonies, and collection of white sage. When I spoke to a preserve manager, she confirmed the Preserve’s efforts to provide permits to tribal members for collection of sage for ceremonial use.

The San Bernardino associated governments along with multiple state agencies, federal/USFWS, local universities, and non-profits manage the preserve, which was first established in 1998 and expanded with highway mitigation funds in 2009. Working together the management plan establishes its principle goals.

Management Plan principal goals:

Preservation of Native Species, Habitats, and Ecosystem Processes;

Protection and preservation of Cultural Resources;

Monitoring Existing Habitats, Species, and Physical Conditions;

Restoration of Disturbed On-Site Habitats;

Develop and Maintain an Informational Database

What is important to stress is that this underground sage mafia is not ethical or sustainable wildcrafting as it is portrayed in hipster IG accounts and stores! The scale of white sage commercial trade on the Internet and demand in China is alarming. United Plant Savers is working with agents at the USFWS and at the State level to provide as much insight as possible into the trade so that law enforcement can be informed to protect the preserve. I was invited by the owner of a white sage company to meet at the Etiwanda Preserve in March of 2019; he wanted to show his sustainable harvesting methods. I quickly pulled out my phone to show him that it was against the law to do so, and that recent arrests had been made. He carried on as if that was not the case, and fortunately law enforcement arrived and I was able to get confirmation of the laws in regards to the preserve from the officer on the spot. His story quickly changed, and he claimed he no longer wildharvested but had a farm where he is now growing sage for his company. I tried to convey why the preserve did not allow commercial harvest permits and the level of community engagement that goes into ensuring safe haven for threatened and endangered species. Certainly he was proud to show off his harvesting technique and make claims to be a former student of Michael Moore, but he lacked ecological knowledge of the diversity of species in the habitat he claimed to sustainably harvest, not to mention basic laws surrounding wild harvest of plants on state and federal lands.

It can be frustrating when attempts to inform stores who sell sage bundles respond that they are getting their sage from those that claim sustainable harvesting techniques and have all the right verbiage on their social media and websites. Consumers and retailers need to understand laws in regards to wild plants because even if one’s techniques are sustainable, if it is not permitted, then it is illegal. A first step for a buyer or consumer is to ask to see a permit.

White sage is abundant in its local habitat as a keystone species of its plant community, but that habitat is under threat due to development and it is fragile, apparent by the many endangered and threatened species that rely on its habitat. Most important to note is that it can be grown, and if it is to be in any form of commercial trade and certainly on the scale it is now, the only sustainability claims should be that it is coming from a cultivated source, and a buyer should always visit the farm to verify the claim.

Traveling throughout California to understand the state of sage habitats and the cultural teachings of white sage, I came across the recently published book Kumeyaay Ethnobotany at the Anza Borrego Visitors Center. The photograph by Rose Ramirez caught my attention and through a Google search I was able to locate her and ask permission to use the image for the cover of this year’s journal.

We then began a dialogue on the issues and concerns over its recent popularity and I asked if she would provide me a quote to share from the perspective of an indigenous elder. Here is the quote she provided me.

“We do not sell white sage. If you need it as a medicine and we have it, we’re going to give it to you. We discourage selling medicine plants, spiritual plants, because we don’t know if the person collected them in a good way, with a good heart. But if you have white sage growing in your own back yard, you would know because you would be taking care of it.” – Barbara Drake, Tongva Elder

I found the quote she shared from Barbara Drake that speaks to why they discourage selling of spiritual plants on a commercial scale because one does not know if the person who is collecting them is doing so in a good way, with a good heart as very profound. Wildharvesting can be detrimental to the plant and/or the species that relies on the plant, but often it is most harmful to those who are harvesting, when they are forced into doing so for very little because they are in a desperate situation. This is why programs like fair wild are important because they address the fair treatment of those communities of harvesters and the plants, and this is important. If we the consumers want to be healed by the plants, then should we not want those who are harvesting to be treated fairly? Conversely harvesting wild plants when regulated and when harvesters are treated fairly can result in beneficial relationships, for both consumer and harvester, and the harvester and the plants, as well as for the plants and their habitat. It seemed serendipitous that my year would be filled with two impactful sage encounters, when I learned about the wild sage native to Albania facing overharvesting in the wild due to unregulated trade and the herbal companies working towards a solution by transitioning to cultivated sage and support to small scale farmers. The Ethnobotany Project is a collaboration among Rose Ramirez, Deborah Small, and the Malki Baliena Press, working together to document southern California and northern Baja California’s Native people’s contemporary uses of native plants. The primary goal is to create a resource for Native people in this region to share and learn traditional knowledge about native plant uses and gathering practices. The project began in 2007. Two publications have resulted so far: a 2010 large-scale calendar and a book in 2015. The Malki Museum, founded in 1965 by Native Americans (Dr. Katherine Siva Saubel and Jane Penn) on a California Indian Reservation, is the oldest non-profit museum and has been the inspiration for several other museums. My journey to understand the complexity of white sage has been a learning journey to the many state and federal recognized tribes and the diverse projects and museums working hard to revive and celebrate cultural and ecological diversity that is more beautiful and powerful. I would encourage those who are drawn to white sage to spend time researching the cultures that have tended its habitat and choose a smudge that you build a personal relationship with and question the idea of ethical wild crafting, considering the habitat, the harvester, the laws, the cultures, and the medicinal teachings. Source: https://unitedplantsavers.org/what-is-going-on-with-white-sage/

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catholicartistsnyc · 5 years

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MEET: Jenna Mohr

JENNA MOHR is a cosmetologist and hair stylist living in NYC. (Instagram / email: [email protected])

CATHOLIC ARTIST CONNECTION (CAC): What brought you to NYC, and where did you come from?

JENNA MOHR (JM): I moved to NYC after college to start a new job as a tax accountant in Midtown Manhattan almost 4 years ago. I came from Charleston, South Carolina, where I was ready to take a position at a local firm and live a comfortable life eating lots of great food, listening to local music and enjoying cheap libations with friends. Living in New York and working as a hairstylist had always been a dream of mine; but as time progressed, I grew to accept the notion that my dreams might end and not materialize into reality.

A friend from high school, who was studying accounting at Clemson University, mentioned that his classmate had just finished an internship at a firm in NYC that was hiring. We were able to get a hold of the recruiter, and the rest is history. Now, I am living out my dream working at a Big 4 accounting firm to pay the bills and going to Arrojo Cosmetology school part time, contemplating what my next move will be. I would love to style/cut hair in the film, theater or print industries and am excited to explore those avenues once I graduate in February. I have close to no free time and eat mostly Cliff bars, but, hey! Living the dream!

CAC: What do you see as your personal mission as a Catholic working in the arts?

JM: I have never contemplated the term “Catholic artist” until answering these questions, but I suppose I can call myself one now. I definitely define myself as a Catholic but feel that I am growing into the term “artist” since I had to convince everyone around me in New York that I was an accountant first until I started cosmetology school in September 2018. Now my mission as a Catholic cosmetologist is to help bring out the innately good and beautiful in whoever I am working with. Although my profession as a cosmetologist is seemingly aesthetic only, I have come to discover that how you treat the individual you are working with and make them feel, regardless of what they end up looking like, is where the value is. Being in this profession, I have realized how truly selfless I need to be in order to give of myself to the client. As a result, I feel that my faith has strengthened because I recognize that only God and his grace can give me the emotional energy I need to make whoever is sitting in my chair to feel like the best possible version of himself/herself.

CAC: Where have you found support in the Church for your vocation as an artist?

JM: Sister Virginia Joy with the Sisters of Life! I first met Sister Virg in middle school where she was the assistant soccer coach and also a high school academics/college admissions counselor. I told her how I wanted to be a hairstylist but that my parents wouldn't let me and said I needed to get a 4 year STEM degree instead. Throwing in the towel, I thought I may study engineering but Sister Virg challenged me to not give up on my dreams. She helped me to to devise a plan where I could study accounting, specifically tax since it is seasonal nature, and then pursue cosmetology down the road in the "off seasons". My sophomore year, she told our soccer team she was moving to the Bronx to become a nun. Fast forward almost a decade and I also am moving to New York and reconnecting with Sister Virg. She helps to keep me Catholic by inviting me to Catholic events throughout the city and I have even gone to the house to style one of the mother's hair for a gala.

A special shout out to St. Patrick's in Midtown because I have the opportunity to go to daily mass and confession at one of the most beautiful churches in the country and arguably the world. Also, it has been a safe haven for me where I would go to nap during my lunch break during the gosh awful tax seasons where it was not unusual to leave the office before 2AM for months at a time.

Finally, reading the daily liturgy has given me the daily courage and reminder of what it means to be Catholic. Through daily readings, I have discovered one of my favorite passages where Jesus wakes the young girl up from the dead saying, "Talitha koum", or "Little girl, arise". This phrase is my own personal, "YOU GO GIRL!", from Jesus. I got it tattooed on my finger (highly advise against finger tatts, they fade and will look a little silly) as a reminder to keep pushing and pursuing my dreams.

CAC: Where have you found support among your fellow artists for your Catholic faith?

JM: I don't know a lot of Catholics or a lot of artists but Renee Roden (the editor of the newsletter!) has been instrumental in supporting my art and faith. She asked if I would like to be one of the featured artists on this blog. When she asked, I think that is one of the few times where I really felt like an artist and more importantly, a Catholic artist. She has invited me to plays, readings and is always excited to explore art and our faith. I am incredibly grateful for a friend that shows so much gumption for a world that I love and admire so deeply.

CAC: How can the Church be more welcoming to artists?

JM: My first reaction is: how can the two be separated? The Church and the arts have so much in common and both are all about exploring, discovering and seeking truth in some form. I think if we look at it from that angle the Church will naturally be more welcoming to artists. Seeing that my free time is limited, I am not aware of a lot of "happenings" in the city; however, I think if parishes hosted open mic nights or other art forums and extend it to the general community that people would be receptive. I understand that Church and religion can seem scary and rigid but I think a forum that allows people to express themselves free of judgement can create a bridge to a safe space that the Church needs to extend to the outside community.

CAC: How can the artistic world be more welcoming to artists of faith?

JM: I think it is a 2-way street! The outside world, particularly NYC, can seem scary to a law-abiding Catholic. However, these safe spaces, created through art forums can help to bridge those gaps.

CAC: Where in NYC do you find spiritual fulfillment?

JM: I am a parishioner of St. Patrick's Old Cathedral; however, I have been attending St. Cecilia's in Brooklyn lately due to its proximity to where I live. I highly recommend both! While Old St. Pat's is the cool, hip place for young folks to be, St. Cecilia's, at a fraction of the size, has also been great and just as welcoming! Both have beautiful music and the priests are very kind, welcoming and give great homilies. If you are in Brooklyn, you should definitely check out St. Cecilia's, us Catholics are out here too!

(Side note, St. Cecilia's is close to McCarren Park, Graham Avenue with so many cute places to eat and stroll around. I am currently answering these questions at FourFiveSix an outdoor bar with eclectic decor and food inside. Only a 2 minute walk to St. Cecilia's and they have WI-FI!)

CAC: Where in NYC do you find artistic fulfillment?

JM: I like to sit at the park and listen to my thoughts and take in the sites. I love North Brooklyn Farms in Williamsburg (you should visit since it will be closing soon!). You can see the Manhattan skyline and the old Domino sugar refinery factory, my favorite building in the city, is located there as well. I love the industrial look that parts of Brooklyn has to offer. I think a lot of that architecture and scenery influence the styles I like to create as a hairstylist because it is all about embracing the imperfections and bringing them to light in a romantic and beautiful way.

Due to my schedule, I haven't had a lot of opportunity to join many other extracurricular activities outside of work and school; however, I believe there is so much to be inspired by in our everyday lives that may transpose into another medium. You never know what may trigger an idea for a new hairstyle; it may be a building, a sign, someone on the subway, construction sites throughout the city, even a podcast!

CAC: What is your daily spiritual practice?

JM: I read the daily readings/reflections from the Laudate app on my phone on the way to work every morning. It is a great way for me to set the tone for the day. Sometimes I will go to daily mass and/or confession at St. Patrick's.

CAC: What is your daily artistic practice?

JM: Right now, my daily artistic practice is going to class every evening. On the weekends, I may do hair for my friends. In the past, I have gone to a music festival to braid hair. I love music and the performing arts in general so I was very excited to be in a setting where I could experience both!

CAC: Describe a recent day in which you were most completely living out your vocation as an artist. What happened, and what brought you the most joy?

JM: I love cutting and styling hair. I enjoy challenging myself, learning new skills and most importantly, seeing a client's reaction when they are feeling the LOOK! I am actually surprised by my most recent day in which I was most completely living out my vocation as an artist. I braided my friend's hair this past weekend. I was nervous because I am not super experienced with braiding add-ins (adding additional hair so that braids can be longer/fuller/more colorful, etc.) or working with natural hair. I was satisfied with the outcome and enjoyed the process but there was still plenty of room for improvement. What caught me by surprise was my friend's reaction. She was so grateful and excited that I was open to learning and pursuing a skill, being able to work with multiple hair types, particularly natural hair types, that is so under served in the beauty world. I am realizing that my sense of fulfillment, as far as living out my vocation, does not need to come from a high-profile job but can emerge from small encounters and bring a massive impact to myself and the client.

CAC: You actually live in NYC? How!?

JM: Friends of friends, my alumni group on Facebook, and the good Lord! This is the first time I am renewing my lease since I've lived here and I couldn't be happier! For one apartment search, I posted on my Facebook alumni group to see if anyone was looking for a roommate and reconnected with a girl I had interned with years ago for Charleston Fashion Week! Whenever I was searching, I think it was very helpful to start with the resources I had - friends of friends, alumni groups, or anybody I knew that was already living here. The options can be very overwhelming but I found that using my current network, as small as it is, to be very beneficial.

When I first moved here, I wanted to be in Manhattan so that I could ensure I was able to navigate life and get to work. Then I discovered North Brooklyn Farms and Brooklyn and cheaper rent and I've been moving further east ever since.

CAC: But seriously, how do you make a living in NYC?

JM: I became an accountant first and got my CPA. It was brutal. I know that my vocation is to be a world class hairstylist ideally in film, theater or print. However, I wanted to make sure I had a practical course of action to get there that would allow me to pay for my education and support myself in the city. My plan A started with my plan B. It took years of discipline and I know that I am coming into my vocation a little later than most; but Hey, look at Sarah! God's timing can be worlds different from ours; but patience, practice, discipline and most importantly faith has helped me to reach and keep striving for my goals. How much would you suggest artists moving to NYC budget for their first year? I think the important things to consider are transportation, food, rent, laundry and maybe a flight home to see mom every once in a while. If the budget allows, you may consider a gym membership that has a shower...you never really know the quality of the apartment you are about to be living in or the responsiveness of a landlord. Having a gym membership proved to be very helpful when my bathroom was out of commission for about a week. After that, you really need to tailor it to your lifestyle and figure out how much you want to spend.

CAC: What other practical resources would you recommend to a Catholic artist living in NYC?

JM: Find a good coffee shop or cafe! Some of my favorite coffee shops are closing due to increased rent prices so if you have a local coffee shop that you love, keep loving on them! These types of places will also host great events for artists and can be a great way to connect with others with shared (or different) interests. I love working outside as much as I can or to find a space with great natural light. I have enjoyed North Brooklyn Farms, Domino Park, McCarren Park, Little Skips, 19 Cafe, Bushwick Grind, FourFiveSix and runs along the east river through Williamsburg into Greenpoint or across the Williamsburg Bridge.

CAC: What are your top 3 pieces of advice for Catholic artists moving to NYC?

JM: GO TO CHURCH (and confession)! Even if you feel like you are losing your religion as an adult, stay open to God's grace. I think NYC is an incredibly challenging place to live - spiritually, financially, emotionally. If anything, allow the church to be a quiet place to sit and find solace in the silence, and let the Big Guy do the rest. I love going to confession in the city, because nobody knows who the heck you are!! It's such a weird and liberating sensation knowing that the guy behind the screen may never see you again. Also, I have had some of the best confessions of my life at St. Patrick's in midtown. You would think that it could potentially be an assembly line of people expecting a dry, one-size fits all confession and absolution; but it could not be more the opposite! The priests will make jokes, advise you on your life, provide tailored insight and give you a penance that will make you feel awesome.

Make friends with the non-Catholics and non-religious. I am a cradled Catholic and love my faith but God gave us free will and I want to use such an incredible gift and what better way than to learn about others who do not share the same beliefs as you. I recently met a man who said that he has always wanted to be religious. He considers himself spiritual but his parents never took him to church and religion is something he has always wanted to explore but didn't quite know how. These kinds of people need you in their lives. You don't need to turn them religious, or Catholic, but being there and listening is sometimes all it takes. I try not to tell people that I am religious or go to church because realistically, it can scare people off sometimes. However, some of my friends that I have become close with in NYC say that they admire that I still practice and have even asked if they could come to church with me. We are just mediums for God's art; sometimes we just need to show up and he will take care of the rest.

Call mom. Like St. Monica (also my mum's name!), our mothers are likely worried sick that we are turning into delinquents hustling in the city. Let her know you are doing OK, brushing your teeth and still going to Church. And if you aren't doing those things, call mom anyway and tell her you love her and thank her and then try to go do those aforementioned things.

If you know anyone looking for a hairstylist please don't hesitate to reach out! I am new to the artist world and would love to become as immersed as possible in my spare time while I am waiting for school to finish in February 2019.

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mtr-amg · 6 years

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I’d like to begin by recounting of one of the bravest acts I’ve ever seen. Earlier this year I attended the Australian Romance Reader Awards, where Melanie Milburne was the guest speaker. At the table beforehand, she told me that she wasn’t sure how her speech would be received, that she was nervous because what she had to say was controversial. And then she got up and said that after a stellar career and nearly 80 titles to her name, not only were there some books that she wished she could go back and rewrite, but that there were some of which she was actively ashamed.

Melanie’s growth as an author and as a person meant that books she had written earlier in her career were now deeply uncomfortable to her. She said that some situations, characters and scenes transgressed into areas that made her profoundly uneasy, and, given the option, she would have them taken out of circulation.

I was taken aback but also impressed that in this age of backlist gold and constant self-promotion an author would not only admit that some of her books made her uncomfortable, but also that she would do so publicly and unreservedly.

Melanie is not alone—there are aspects of our history and traditions that we need to talk about, which raise uncomfortable questions for all of us, as readers, writers, publishers and advocates for the romance genre.

Romance has always existed in the margins of the literary world. Not economically, of course, but within the broader literary landscape, romance is kind of equivalent to Wakanda, the mythical land in the Marvel movie Black Panther. Those outside it see only a desolate village, starved of real culture and devoid of literary merit. But once you find the book that takes you from outside to inside, you’ll find a vibrant, thriving community that is supportive, organised and running on a mythical, powerful element that the rest of the world does not even know exists.

In Wakanda, the element is Vibranium—used to make weaponry previously unheard of—but in the romance genre, that powerful element is something else entirely. Romance harnesses hope.

Hope has been built into romance stories from the very beginning, and it’s tied so strongly to what has made this genre so subversive for so long—the idea that women’s lives can be better. It’s what the ‘happy ever after’ ending means. It’s the kernel of motivation in every one of our stories—that no matter where we are now, or what is happening, things can get better. Things will get better.

At the beginning, hope in romance was tied to finding the right husband—one who would make sure her emotional needs were met as well as her physical needs. We hoped that he would see her as a whole person and not just a possession.

But it didn’t stop there. Romance hoped new hopes for women: personhood, careers, ambition, self-acceptance, self-love, sex, great sex, mind-blowing sex, sexual autonomy, bodily autonomy, lively and nourishing friendships, and passionate and enduring love affairs. But mostly romance hoped for women’s lives to be well-lived.

Along the way, romance also hoped that emotional would no longer mean weak, that fear would no longer turn to anger, that feminine would no longer be an insult. It hoped that men would be able to cry, dance, feel joy and unshakeable love, and express those things out loud. It hoped that everyone would be able to find a happy ever after with whomever they loved. Romance hoped a lot of hopes for many different people, but mostly it hoped for a world better than the one that currently exists. In our own little bubble, we read and wrote and edited and published and shared our stories and hoped.

But what does romance look like in 2018? What hopes are we hoping for ourselves and for our future, for our daughters and sons and their children?

Suddenly, stories of triumphant women matter more than ever. The world is both bigger and smaller and the strides that we have taken forward seem to be but a façade for a deeper, more insidious malevolence, one that hides behind humour and innuendo and the demand for hard proof. One that requires a constant, exhausting vigilance.

Many of the behaviours that are now being called out—sexual innuendo, workplace advances, stolen kisses because the kisser couldn’t resist—feel in many ways like an old friend. They exist in the romance bubble. They show up in our stories, with a long history of providing a way to hope when we weren’t sure how to do so, and they readily tap into that shared emotional history over and over again in a way that feels familiar and safe.

Something that a friend once said changed the way I think about the romance genre and our responsibility to the greater world. She said: the media and the art that we consume are the most powerful influencers on our lives and our actions. If that art is romance novels, then we have the potential—and the obligation—to affect women around the world.

I keep coming back to this idea of potential and obligation. Because I think this is why romance has been so important to so many women for so long: it shows the potential within all of us, and it honours its obligations.

Now, obligations are slippery. And in a genre as big as ours, they’re hard to pin down. The romance readership contains multitudes, and it’s impossible to be everything to everyone. And, as one cogent argument goes, we’re not the only genre. Why is romance being held accountable in a way that other genres are not? Why must we answer to this ingrained malice in a way that no one else is expected to?

Because it’s obligation. If we want to call ourselves a feminist genre, if we want to hold ourselves up as an example of women being centred, of representing the female gaze, of creating women heroes who not only survive but thrive, then we have to lead. We can’t deflect and we can’t dissemble. We need to look to the future and create the books that women need to read now. We’ve been shown our potential. To rise to it is our obligation.

And this is where it gets tricky, because as a community, we have to do the one thing that romance has never taught us how to do: breakup.

It’s okay to grieve the loss here. It’s healthy. After all, in a relationship as long as the one that romance has shared with these familiar behaviours, there were good times, and we should acknowledge that our relationship with these behaviours was healthy for a time. They allowed to us to begin hoping for women’s sexual authority and gratification. They allowed us to write and publish the first descriptions of women’s sexual desire and satisfaction in such a way that she didn’t have to die at the end for the ignominy of having enjoyed an orgasm.

Our decision to move forward now—to recognise the toxic underpinnings that exist underneath these behaviours—doesn’t erase the good aspects. It just recognises that this relationship has run its course, and that we as a genre have grown beyond it.

Be strong, because no break up is easy, and this one is especially hard. There is still seduction in stolen kisses. An intense romantic onslaught can still provoke excitement.

We have been conditioned to respond to coercion. The pursuit. The games. The inclination to play hard to get. The value judgements wrapped up in our responses to our bodies and our desires.

I read an article once that said you should never trust your first response, because that is how you’ve been trained to respond—by your family, teachers, the media, society. Your first response is your conditioned response. But the second response, which follows immediately afterwards, is your thinking response.

We have been conditioned to respond to coercion. Now it’s time to start relying on our thinking response.

And part of this breakup needs to include compassion for ourselves for the things we weren’t yet aware of. We must forgive ourselves for not knowing what we didn’t know until we learned it. But we do know better now, and that comes with an obligation to do better.

Much of my thinking here has been informed by sex positivity, and how it can be applied to fictional worlds. There are two key principles to the movement: first, active, informed consent in all aspects of sexuality, and second, anything that happens between consenting adults is natural. I particularly like how principle the first flows into principle the second: if you have active, informed consent, then anything consenting adults do afterwards is natural.

And yes, it means consent for everything. Recognising the heroine’s bodily autonomy, her right to decide what happens to it at every point is crucial to these discussions. We need to divorce the idea of sexy from the idea of surprise. Your heroine can be pursued, but she must not be prey.

It means empowering your heroine’s choices—write that contraception scene. This is the genre where it should become so ingrained that women engage only in safe sex—protecting themselves and their partners—that it becomes cliche. Empower your heroines to demand safety, and empower your heroes to deliver it without being asked.

Write options. Secret babies are a treasured part of our genre, but unwanted pregnancies have serious financial, emotional, and professional repercussions for women without a support system around them. Use this plot point, by all means, but be deliberate in your choices and don’t romanticise it. You don’t know who’s reading.

Progress isn’t made without sacrifice. Privilege isn’t shared if the privileged don’t make space beside ourselves. It won’t be an easy transition—none of it. But the alternative is to continue normalising coercion and domination and disrespect and powerlessness in our romantic relationships.

We are all in the business of imagination, and we’ve all chosen the genre of hope. I hope that you understand the power that you hold in your hands to influence the world and make it better. And I hope that you continue our long tradition of hoping for better lives for our heroines, and the heroines around the world who read these stories and learn to hope for themselves.

#romance writing #kate cuthbert #long read #I was going to post a couple of paragraphs and then just pasted the whole thing

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introvertchill · 7 years

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Hogwarts Houses - A really fricking long post by Kayleigh Indigo

Because I have nothing better to do with my life, I’ve surveyed a whole bunch of people in an attempt to calculate the best predictors of Hogwarts houses. I asked them about their Hogwarts house and nine other questions which may or may not be relevant to their house. I will lay out the statistics below and point out some of the trends. However, there is one issue I have had to face: Tumblr users are different from the general population.

GASP!

Shocking, right?

But seriously, I used a very small demographic, and that will become apparent in the data. Tumblr users are much more likely to be introverted than most people, and since I run a blog specifically aimed at introverts, you can see that introverts are going to be popping up everywhere. I will try to point out all the answers that may have been skewed one way or another by my chosen demographic. Additionally, a lot of the questions will be scored differently, because some have a less even distribution or more variables to contend with.

Overall House Percentage

First off, I asked the participants what house they were in.

Out of those surveyed, 31% were Ravenclaw, 29% Slytherin, 24% Hufflepuff and 16% Gryffindor. This distribution may pose an issue, since we have almost twice the number of Ravenclaws than Gryffindors, but it could’ve been worse, trust me.

House Satisfaction

My second question was which house the participants would most like to be in, since the Sorting Hat is supposed to take your preference into account.

This is one question that I believe may be impacted by choosing to survey Tumblr users. Tumblr’s Potterheads have made post after post about house pride, so it makes sense that the lesser-seen Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs would be happier with their sorting than they would be if they didn’t use Tumblr.

Slytherins had the highest house satisfaction, with 75.86% of them saying that Slytherin was their house of choice. Ravenclaw was close behind, with 75.86% of members choosing Ravenclaw, followed by Hufflepuff with 54.17%. Gryffindor had the lowest house satisfaction with 43.75%.

Worst Fears

My second questions was a choice of which frightened the participants most. The options were:

“Destroying my relationships, upsetting people or creating conflict.”

“Becoming corrupt or immoral.”

“Being unexceptional, having no one respect me or remember me after I die.”

and “Losing myself, restrictions, being under someone else's control.”

The first and last were by far the most selected. While the first one is pretty self-explanatory - not all people strive for greatness, but near everyone wants others to be happy and not to fight with them - the “restrictions” one may be Tumblr-specific. This is only speculation, but think about the things Tumblr is known for. While the website has a large range of purposes, two of its biggest are art/aesthetic blogs and LGBTQ+ safe spaces. This combination of creativity and progressiveness may lead Tumblr users to be more afraid of restrictions than others. Anyway, back to Hogwarts.

Gryffindor and Hufflepuff mostly chose “destroying my relationships” (56.25% and 50% respectively), while Ravenclaw and Slytherin were most likely to choose “restrictions” (48.39% and 48.28%). Out of the four houses, Hufflepuffs were most likely to choose “becoming corrupt” (20.83%), and Slytherins were most likely to choose “being unexceptional” (13.79%). Absolutely no Hufflepuffs chose “being unexceptional” as their worst fear, which is unsurprising. Our Hufflepuff pals just want to be happy.

Use of Magic

My third question was a choice of how the participants believed they would handle magic. The options were:

“I would use it as a tool and a weapon. I like to apply things practically, and fighting for my beliefs is my purpose in life.”

“I would use it to better the lives of others. The best gifts should always be shared.” “I would use it cautiously and secretively. I can't risk exposing wizards or causing some horrible disaster.” and “I would use magic for its own sake. I would explore its potential, push the boundaries and learn as much as I possibly could.”

The last option was by far the most popular. It was the most picked in Gryffindor, Slytherin and especially in Ravenclaw, with a whopping 54.84%. The only house where it wasn’t the most likely to be selected was Hufflepuff, who instead chose “better the lives of others” and “cautiously and secretively,” with 41.67% each. Both of these options show how caring and responsible our good badger friends are. Not a single ‘Puff chose to use magic “as a tool and a weapon.” Slytherin had the highest percentage of people choosing “as a tool and a weapon” (still only 17.24%). Ravenclaws were least likely to choose “better the lives of others,” which you can interpret however you want. Surprisingly, Gryffindors were the only ones who were actually more likely to use magic “cautiously and secretively” than “to better the lives of others.”

MBTI Types

Agh. Tumblr, I love you, but your personality types are not really all that varied, and you make statistical analysis VERY DIFFICULT!

I asked those surveyed to select their Myers Briggs type, and it turns out Tumblr users are much, much, MUCH more likely to be INxx types than the average person. INTPs, INTJs, INFJs and especially INFPs are very common in Tumblrland, which makes a lot of sense. INxx types often feel the desire to escape from our world or to explore fictional ones, which is a desire we see all over Tumblr. Additionally, there are a few types missing from the survey altogether! The group of participants contained no ESTJs or ENFJs, who are presumably out doing whatever people do when they don’t have Tumblr. (Sports? Parties? I really don’t know, that’s a research project for another day).

I’ll break this down by house. The most common personality types in Gryffindor was INFP, with 33.3% of all Gryffindors identifying as INFP. The second and third most common were INTP and ESTP, with 20% and 13.33% respectively. The first two are pretty much just a Tumblr thing, but ESTP is the important one. In the group of participants, ESTPs, ISTPs and ESFPs were only found in Gryffindor, showing that Gryffindors have strong Sensing and Perceiving preferences. This isn’t surprising at all - in fact, it explains their focus on objective accomplishment and their, um, shaky relationship with rules.

The most common personality types in Hufflepuff was also INFP, with, *sigh* again, a third of all Hufflepuffs identifying as INFP. The second and third most common were INFJ and ENFP, with 20.83% and 16.67% respectively. All Intuitive types, as we’ve seen often on Tumblr, but also all Feeling types, which seems to be a more Hufflepuff-specific trait. What’s more, ISFJs were only found in Hufflepuff, which makes sense - they’re hardworking, kind, loving, helpful and loyal, all traits of the house of the badger.

The most common personality types in Ravenclaw was INFJ, with 26.67%. INFJs are actually the rarest type in the general population, which makes sense as to why some might find themselves in Ravenclaw, where eccentricity and creativity are praised, not shunned. The next most common were INTJ and INFP, with 20% each. Like I said, Tumblr seems to be the natural environment for Introvert and Intuitive types, and Ravenclaws represent these traits best, being independent, thoughtful and contemplative.

The most common personality types in Slytherin was INTP, with 32.14%. The second and third most common were the inescapable INFP with 28.57% and INTJ with 14.29%. Both ENTJ and ESFJ were only found in Slytherin. Both are highly ambitious types, but in different ways. ENTJs are probably the type you think of when it comes to ambition. But ESFJs are very ambitious too, albeit in subtler ways. The ESFJ desires not fame or money or reign of eastern Europe, but popularity. More than anything else, they want to be liked, and they will do anything to make this happen - I’ve seen it over and over again, especially in my brother. ESFJs will constantly give up more and more of their time, change their opinions and do things they don’t want to do in order to remain popular. They are making sacrifices to attain a goal they perceive as important - what could be more Slytherin than that?

Enneagram Types

I asked those surveyed to put their Enneagram type, which, while lesser-known than MBTI, is still valuable for this kind of personality assessment (and there’s fewer types. Yay! Less writing!) All the Enneagram types are numbers. Tumblr is absolutely filled with Fours, Fives and Sixes. However, I still managed to get people from every Enneagram type, so the data is somewhat reliable.

Ones, who are idealistic, principled and perfectionistic, were most likely to be Ravenclaw (16.13%) and least likely to be Gryffindor (6.25%). I’d predicted Gryffindor Ones to be more common, since Gryffindors have a strong sense of right and wrong.

Twos, who are caring, social and people-pleasing, were most likely to be in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff (12.50% each) and least likely to be in Ravenclaw (3.23%). This isn’t surprising - the confident Gryffindor and kind-hearted Hufflepuff are much more likely to be Twos than the self-sufficient Ravenclaw.

Threes, who are ambitious, driven and image-conscious, were most likely to be in Slytherin (7.41%) and least likely to be in Ravenclaw (0%). This is fairly self-explanatory - Slytherins are goal-chasers, meaning many of them are Threes, whereas Ravenclaws couldn’t care less for “succeeding” as others see it, i.e. popularity, political power or riches. Their idea of success is probably either knowledge or self-expression, depending on the person.

Fours, who are expressive, individualistic and emotional, were most likely to be Ravenclaws (25.81%) and least likely to be Slytherins (11.11%). Ravenclaws are very individualistic and can be very expressive if they build up the confidence. But even though Slytherins can sometimes act in self-interest, many of them are actually pretty-group minded when it comes down to it and like to have friends/minions to help them achieve their goals. They also tend to be more intellectual than emotional.

Fives, who are cerebral, independent and isolated, were most likely to be in Ravenclaw (32.26%) and least likely to be in Hufflepuff (4.17%). Fives are probably the stereotypical Ravenclaw, being quiet intellectuals who love learning. While Hufflepuffs can definitely be intelligent, they don’t pride themselves on it as much as Ravenclaw, and are very unlikely to isolate themselves.

Sixes, who are responsible, protective and anxious, were most likely to be in Gryffindor (31.25%) and least likely to be in Slytherin (14.81%). I will admit, this one threw me a bit - I’d never thought of Gryffindors as having self-doubt or Slytherins as irresponsible. But the description of a healthy Six matches Gryffindor pretty well - they are described as “internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.” And after all, bravery is as much about conquering self-doubt as it is about conquering ultimate evil.

Sevens, who are spontaneous, fun-loving and scattered, were most likely to be in Gryffindor (6.25%) and least likely to be in Ravenclaw (3.23%). There’s not a lot to say here.

Eights, who are confident, determined and confrontational, were only found in Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. This just goes to show that you should never mess with badgers, as even though they are nice they still have potential to destroy you.

Nines, who are easygoing, peaceful and passive, were most likely to be in Hufflepuff (20.83%) and least likely to be in Ravenclaw (3.23%). Hufflepuffs typically seek to avoid unnecessary conflict and like to please others, however they can fight back when necessary.

Big Five Personality Traits

I asked the participants to rank their scores in the Big Five personality traits highest to lowest, 1 to 5. Of course, this yielded a wide variety of results that are somewhat difficult to interpret. Tumblr users seem to be higher in neuroticism than the general population, which is why you see so many posts about mental health. They are also lower in extroversion, which I’ve hopefully beaten into you enough already. This was the most-skipped question, with 16% of people not answering it, so the data will be less accurate than it would’ve been if the sample size was larger.

For Gryffindor, agreeableness was the highest scoring trait, followed by neuroticism, extroversion and openness, with conscientiousness scoring lowest. As the only house where extroversion didn’t score lowest, we can assume that in the general population a large number of Gryffindors would be extroverts. This was also the only house where neuroticism didn’t score highest, meaning that Gryffindors tend to be emotionally stable. However, they are also the least open house.

For Hufflepuff, neuroticism was the highest scoring trait, followed by openness, agreeableness and conscientiousness, with extroversion scoring lowest. This is the same order the traits were scored in overall, so we can’t deduce a lot from this.

For Ravenclaw, neuroticism was the highest scoring trait, followed by openness, conscientiousness and agreeableness, with extroversion scoring lowest. Ravenclaw is the least agreeable house, not because of maliciousness but because they are detached from reality, wandering around inside their own head and not really caring if they come across as cold. I’ve driven a lot of people away because I didn’t realise I was coming across as hostile, and many of my fellow Ravenclaws have admitted to the same thing. Smart as we are, we really don’t know how others think. (A̶n̶d̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶e̶.)

For Slytherin, neuroticism was the highest scoring trait, followed by agreeableness, openness and conscientiousness, with extroversion scoring lowest. Even though they are thought of as the “bad-guy” house, Slytherins are incredibly charming and loyal. While this may be manipulative or to further their own ends, often they just want to befriend people. I have a Slytherin friend who is incredibly good at getting people, even total strangers, to warm up to her, even though she is quite introverted and independent. Slytherins are just good at the people thing.

Four Temperaments

For this question, everyone selected which of the Four Temperaments they were. Tumblr users tend to be either phlegmatic or melancholic. Can you guess why? (Hint: it starts with an “i” and ends with a “ntroversion.”)

Sanguine people are enthusiastic, boisterous, expressive, active, and social. They were most likely to be in Hufflepuff (12.50%) and least likely to be in Ravenclaw (3.23%).

Choleric people are short-tempered, determined, irritable, proud, and charismatic. They were most likely to be in Slytherin (24.14%) and least likely to be in Gryffindor (0%).

Melancholic people are analytical, wise, quiet, sensitive, and perfectionistic. They were most likely to be in Ravenclaw (70.97%!!!) and least likely to be in Hufflepuff (still a respectable 50%)

Phlegmatic people are helpful, meek, kindhearted, calm and peaceful. They were most likely to be in Gryffindor (43.75%) and least likely to be in Slytherin (10.34%).

Gasp.

Did you see what just happened?

Each house scored highest in a trait exactly once, and scored lowest in a trait only once too. Does this mean that the Four Temperaments are the one true indicator of Hogwarts house? Nope. Not at all. (I mean, a large portion of Gryffindors aren’t meek.) But it shows that they may help to predict your house if you are unsure. Since both Hogwarts houses and the Four Temperaments are somewhat themed around the four classical elements (water, fire, earth and air), albeit not the ones they ended up corresponding with, this was probably a good question to include on the survey. Pat on the back for me.

7 Roles

This is much more spiritual than scientific, but I felt like I should include it in the survey anyway. Some have suggested that every human soul is drawn to a distinct purpose, and it will keep that purpose over its many lives. For Servers it is service, for Artisans it is creation, Warriors persuasion, Scholars knowledge, Sages communication, Priests motivation and Kings mastery. Fortunately, there are statistics on how common each role is in the general population (thanks, personalityspirituality.net). Servers make up 25% of people, Artisans 21%, Warriors 18%, Scholars 14% Sages 11%, Priests 7% and Kings 4%. Tumblr users are much more likely to be Artisans (29.47%) or Scholars (37.89%). This explains all the science, art and useless fact blogs. Servers and Warriors are also much rarer on Tumblr, probably because they are all out doing stuff with their lives. No, I’m not jealous.

Anyway, Priests were most common in Hufflepuff, with 12.50% of ‘Puffs identifying with this role. They were completely absent from Gryffindor and Slytherin, who prefer to focus on their own virtues and vices rather than motivating other people. There’s nothing wrong with that. Think of the “somebody’s Watson” Tumblr post. Achieving things for yourself and helping or inspiring others to do their best are equally important.

Egh, this is getting way too deep. Moving on. Servers were most common in Hufflepuff and Gryffindor (12.50% each) and least common in Slytherin (4%). There’s not a lot to say here - Hufflepuffs help others, Slytherins are destined for greatness, blah blah blah, the usual stuff. However, I do think it’s interesting that Hufflepuffs are both Priests and Servers, while Gryffindors are only Servers. I believe that this is because Gryffindors do not seek to reason with, negotiate with or inspire people as Priests do. They choose to help the common good more directly as Servers.

Artisans were most common in Ravenclaw (36.67%) and least common in Slytherin (20%). And this makes sense. I’ve met a lot of creative Slytherins, but few see their artistic expression as their greatest purpose or pursue it as a career. Ravenclaws, on the other hand, see creativity as vitally important, and often find things like art, theatre or music, the best way to express themselves to others since they keep their emotions bottled up. If you want to upset a Ravenclaw, make them hang out with boring people.

Next, the Warrior. Did you guess that they’d be mostly Gryffindor? Because you’re wrong. Warriors were mostly badgers! 12.50% of Hufflepuffs were Warriors. Don’t be so surprised. Think about how many of them took part in the Battle of Hogwarts. (Um, spoilers.) J.K. Rowling herself said that not all, but some Gryffindors took part in the battle for the thrill or to show off rather than out of duty, while with Hufflepuff it was purely a case of morals. No Warriors were in Ravenclaw. They don’t fight for their beliefs - they seek to influence things subtly. Which makes them sound like a secret government operative, but whatever.

Sages were most common in Gryffindor (12.50%) and least common in Slytherin (4%). This actually illustrates the difference between the two quite nicely - Gryffindors are good at communication, while Slytherins avoid it. What you see is what you get with Gryffindor, but Slytherins are a lot more secretive.

60% of Slytherins were Scholars. In fact, more than one third of all Scholars surveyed were Slytherin. Slytherins just love knowledge. We think of Ravenclaw as the “knowing stuff” house, and they are, but it’s just as much a Slytherin thing as it is a Ravenclaw thing. Knowledge is power, after all. Hufflepuffs were the least likely to be Scholars, with 20.83% of them identifying with this role.

Only one King was found in each house, so that data is unreliable. I’d put them as Slytherin myself.

Cardinal Virtues

I’m glad most people I surveyed actually answered this one, since I doubt that many of you had heard of them before! Basically, they’re just like the Seven Virtues or the Seven Sins, but in four, because Ancient Greeks liked fours. The four virtues are (Fortitudo: Courage, willpower and drive), Prudentia (Wisdom, caution and logic), Temperantia (Self-control, practicality, diligence) and Iustita: (Justice, fairness and equity). If you look at them, you can probably see that they’re the root words of “fortitude,” “prudence,” “temperance” and “justice.” (Sigh. I love etymology way too much.)

I asked the group I surveyed to choose which one came most naturally to them. Fortitudo was most common in Gryffindor (31.25%) and least common in Ravenclaw (0%). Obviously Gryffindor would be the bravest house. Some Ravenclaws do have courage, but not so much willpower or drive.

Levels of Prudentia were highest in Ravenclaw (61.29%). Again, this makes sense - wisdom and logic come natural to Ravenclaw. Prudentia was least common in Hufflepuff (16.67%).

Temperantia was mostly found among Slytherins (39.29%), who value self-preservation, resourcefulness and ambition - of course they’d be thorough, practical and self-restraining. Ravenclaws scored lowest (9.68%). They’re just not that practical.

Iustita was most-chosen in Hufflepuff, with 58.33%, while Slytherin picked it least, with 14.29%, which…

IT HAPPENED AGAIN!

Okay, it’s not as neat this time. While each house scored highest in one virtue, Ravenclaw scored lowest in more than one. Still - this is really good! It means I chose the right kind of questions, thank goodness.

Now, for the final part - documenting the trends I’ve noticed. Please keep in mind that these are just that - trends. You don’t have to fit all, or even any of them, to be in a certain house. This is just research and a bit of guesswork.

Summary - GRYFFINDOR

Likely to be phlegmatic, unlikely to be choleric

Fortitudo comes naturally to them

Typically Extrovert and Sensing types

Are scared of destroying their relationships, upsetting people or creating conflict

Enneagram Type Two, Type Six, Type Seven and Type Eight are good examples

Score high in agreeableness and extroversion, but low in conscientiousness

Tend to be Servers or Sages

Summary - HUFFLEPUFF

Likely to be sanguine, unlikely to be melancholic

Iustita comes naturally to them

Typically Feeling types

Are scared of destroying their relationships, upsetting people or creating conflict

Enneagram Type Two, Type Eight and Type Nine are good examples

Caring and responsible, would use magic cautiously and selflessly

Tend to be Priests, Servers or Warriors

Summary - RAVENCLAW

Likely to be melancholic, unlikely to be sanguine

Prudentia comes naturally to them

Typically Introvert and Intuitive types

Are scared of losing themselves, restrictions or being under someone else's control

Enneagram Type One, Type Four and Type Five are good examples

Score high in neuroticism and openness, but low in extroversion and agreeableness

Tend to be Artisans or Scholars

Summary - SLYTHERIN

Likely to be choleric, unlikely to be phlegmatic

Temperantia comes naturally to them

Can be any MBTI type - anyone with a dream and a goal can be in Slytherin

Are scared of losing themselves, restrictions or being under someone else's control

Enneagram Type Three is a good example

Score high in agreeableness and neuroticism

Tend to be Scholars or Kings

So if any of you are unsure of your house, and can somehow make sense of all of this, great! You’re one step closer to finding your Hogwarts house. I wish you luck on your journey.

- Admin Kayleigh, INTP

(A/N: You may notice that I almost always put the houses in the following order: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. This is because they are introduced in this order during the Sorting Hat’s song, and so when I’m thinking about them I tend to remember them in that order. Now, I’m stuck that way, and sometimes I even get a little uncomfortable if they’re in a different order. TL;DR I am very weird.)

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uclaradio · 6 years

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Interview with CJ Harvey

Interview and photos by Megan Hullander

We caught up with photographer CJ Harvey on tour with Ron Gallo, The Nude Party, and Twen.

You can check out her work via her Instagram and her website.

You seem to be very close with everyone you tour with. I’m sure it did not start off that way, so how has touring with people who are also your friends changed your work?

It has influenced me so much. I am kind of one of those people who mostly just listens to whatever my friends are making. I think it's more fulfilling to listen to because if I am sad or bummed out I can just put on my friend’s music and it’s like my friend is just singing to me, and I am very lucky to be surrounded by such talented musicians where I can kind of do that and get by with only listening to my friends’ projects which is so awesome. And I'm definitely most inspired by my friends who are, you know, making art and touring and playing shows, and I would always rather watch my friends play than, you know, someone else.

I have kind of reached a level of success with tour photography at the point where I can be more selective with who I'm touring with, where it's not like, oh, this is the only band willing to take me out like this year, so I'm going to do it because I want the experience and I want a tour. I can kind of pick and choose who I'm working with and, you know, my best friends are going on tour, I want to go with them and I'm now experienced enough so they want to go with me, and I'm learning a lot by being so close with my subjects because there's just kind of a level of trust that wouldn't have happened had it just been like a random band that hired me. And that is not to say that there is anything wrong with touring with bands that I am less close with but it takes a long time to develop that kind of trust. It will take like two weeks into the tour for you to actually feel like you're comfortable with each other and you're not being like a burden. Everyone is so busy on tour, everyone is exhausted, everyone is doing everything at once, nobody wants to go out and go on a photo adventure, but when it is just your best friends, its like hey, if you don’t have time to do this right now, you tell me, if you do, let’s do it. It's so easy and a lot more exciting because it's more involved and it’s more personal and it’s people I care a lot about.

I always get spooked out when I use flash, it just feels so invasive.

Yeah, it can feel so scary! But like with Ron I am just like in his face, I’m on stage, I’m walking around, I don’t feel like I need to hide behind a curtain where if anyone sees me I am doing it wrong. There is a lot more creative freedom in that situation which is awesome.

Going off of that, it seems like you feel a connection between artists and their art, which kind of goes into people disowning music when allegations come out about artists. Where do you see the line being between separating art from the artist and is it okay to continue to have a relationship with their art?

So, obviously, everyone feels very differently about this subject and I would never judge someone for continuing to support someone. Say their friend fucked up and it was an honest mistake and they apologized and they are genuinely trying to get help, like that's awesome, everyone fucks up and everyone deserves a second chance and everyone you know deserves love and respect in their healing process, but I just get so turned off as soon as something sour comes out about someone. Especially if it's someone that you respected or looked up to or like supported in any way, it just feels like such a personal attack, like I can't believe someone that I know did this or like this happen to like my friend, like fuck you forever.

I am pretty unforgiving in terms of actually listening to music. For example, if there was someone who did something kind of shitty and they kind of handled it as best they could and they're like I take full accountability and I'm so sorry this is me, genuinely apologizing, and here are the steps I'm taking to get better, I got sober, I'm in therapy, I like contacted this person that I've hurt. If they are going about it the right way of course they deserve a second chance and of course they deserve to keep making art, but I just won't want to listen to anything that they made because for me I see it as they made this at a time when they are doing the shitty thing and I don't trust them and I don't respect this version of that person therefore I want nothing to do with this and it's going to turn me off and it's not going to be fun to listen to.

With that being said there is nothing wrong with having important emotions and memories, all of the emotions and memories you have to certain artists and memories that is totally valid. Those memories should not have to change, but I just can’t do it. I can’t pity someone enough to be like, oh its okay, its still a good album, it makes me feel so good.

Yeah, it is tough, because there is just so much out there that it is pretty easy to replace it.

You can easily replace any artist, everyone sounds the same, nothing is original. That's actually kind of funny, there should be a website, like oh you found out about this person, here is like five other bands you might like that sound exactly the same. Here are much better humans who make very similar music.

You have posted quite a few times about just being considerate of other people at shows, and women specifically. Where do you see this boundary being between being in the moment when experiencing live music and being conscious and considerate and respectful of other people and their boundaries?

I think especially for people it shows who identifies as a woman, like it's so easy to just be the victim of everyone around you. It takes just one shitty person at a show to make you feel like you don’t belong there and you aren’t welcome and nobody cares about your safety and well being. Especially at a show, especially if it is a band who is so progressive and welcoming and kind. I tour with really great people, and that is not always the case of course, but at least for the people I am touring with, if anyone was in the crowd and someone was dancing on them in a way that made them feel uncomfortable or someone was touching them inappropriately, if they got someone on the stage’s attention, that would be it. That person would get kicked out, get sent to the other side of the room, or have security called on them. My friends don’t tolerate that.

As someone who has been the victim of weird things happening to them at shows, I am a lot more aware of my personal space. I feel like it is not hard at all to have fun and dance and have a good time, and even if you are someone who enjoys moshing, that is awesome and there are definitely other people who want to mosh with you and it is so easy to slowly start a mosh pit. You just start slowly, feel it out, test the waters a little bit. If there are people who look uncomfortable, help them get out before you start the pit. Just mosh with the people who want to mosh. People make such a big deal about it and are like, “I just wanna have a good time at the show,” but it’s so easy to also not violate other people’s space.

I feel like the people who mosh with people who clearly don’t want to are also the people who mosh during the wrong songs too.

Yeah! And I hate moshing 99.9 percent of the time because I always have a camera on me, and I have broken a bone at a show before, I have been slammed to the ground and trampled. I have been through all of that shit and I am kind of claustrophobic too. I am usually at the front because I am taking pictures and not paying attention to what is going on behind me, so if you come crashing into me, you are going to smash me to the ground. As I am falling I am gonna protect my camera over my body and end up getting really hurt because you are an insensitive asshole.

I always get scared of people with drinks, and they start to like lean into you a bit.

And you’re like, I hate that you are ruining this! And then you can’t pay attention to the show at all, you are just looking through you peripheral vision hoping this person won’t crash into you and spill their drink and vomit all over your stuff. It sucks not trusting the people around you at shows. There is a mosh etiquette that most people just don’t understand.

We need to add to our website with the artist redirection - like how to mosh, how to not spill your drink on someone at a show.

Maybe just don’t have a drink on you while you’re moshing. If you are gonna be thrashing around, don’t hold liquids. Easy. There should be mosh cups that are paper, or no, use like a camelback. That would be awesome.

Another easy add to our website. Lets add moshing camelbacks.

What other business endeavors should we start? As a result of shitty people in music.

You’ve been around for a bit within the music scene, do you feel the dynamic has changed at all since you first started?

Women have always existed in the music industry, but within the last year especially, there has been this huge boom. I work with a lot of bands who are all straight, white dudes, like zero diversity, but that’s not to say they are uninteresting or bad people. They are so lovely and welcoming and kind and they have really gone out of their way from what I have observed to get women on their shows and trying so hard to work with the female agent instead of the other agent who was recommended to them, or bringing me out not because they feel like they have to but because they want to support me as a female and my work and give me a safe space where they will look out for me. The bands I tour with are also really good at picking up on social cues and I am definitely really vocal about stuff that makes me uncomfortable and I am gonna call them out. Even this tour, all of the guys in Ron Gallo and The Nude Party and Twen have all gone out of their way to check in with me. There was this guy who was super drunk and close to me and talking in my ear and it was totally fine, but I can see how it might look like it was maybe a sketchy situation and Dylan while drumming was looking at me like mouthing, “Are you okay? Is everything good?” He is like looking out for me mid-song! All of the guys I surround myself with have my back. I can’t speak for other touring women, but you can educate your friends and get them on the same page. Like you may have not have had this experience but I have and this is why it’s not okay, and even if you didn’t know before, now you do and you know how to look out for that.

It is crazy to see how quickly people’s mindsets will change, like as soon as they become aware of this kind of stuff. Even with social media platforms, just the number of people you can reach.

Exactly, I have even had men DM me on Instagram and be like, I had no idea that was happening or still is happening. Thank you for sharing this and now as a guy I can look out for it and help out my female friends. Its really cool to see that -

*** CJ was then interrupted by a man who approaches and asks if we need tickets, and when I reply no, he says, “Just send your girlfriends on over to me.” ***

Love the timing. I was just starting to feel warm about everything.

That’s the thing! I know this is still on the record, but I am just gonna shit talk someone at the show in Santa Cruz. You think you are surrounded by such loyal, loving men who are there to look out for you and it’s awesome and you feel invincible. This tour specifically is full of so many good people and you get in this head space where you are like everything is fine, this is a safe space and you forget that there are external people who come into that group.

There was this one man who comes up to me at the merch table and is like, “Oh, is that your boyfriend?” And I get that question all of the time and I hate it. I’m like, no it’s not, you see me here selling the merch, why would you not assume that it’s my job to sell merch? He just found it really hard to believe instead of being apologetic. And I said no, but why would you assume that I simply must be dating someone on stage? And he said, “I am not assuming that you have to be dating someone.” But like he did! That is the very first thing he said to me, he didn’t even introduce himself! There were people in line and I didn’t have time to talk to him too much and Ron was still doing the encore so it’s kind of hard to hear. And he said, ”Well, so you aren’t dating anyone in the band, what are you doing?” And I am like, let me tell you how many hats I wear on tour and how I work my ass off for these bands and pour my entire heart and soul into this. Let me tell you about all of the jobs I am doing right now.

Really everything except dating them.

Yeah that’s exactly it. This man was like, “Sure, well for your sake I hope you are being important and helpful and creative. For your sake I hope one day you can be one tenth the creative genius as that guy on stage.” I just was so mad, I had other people to sell to, I was just done, I can’t be upset right now, and I tried to brush it off. I am usually pretty good at doing that, but I saw him talking to Ron after the set and I was like I need to say something, not to make him feel bad or put him on the spot, but I just needed to tell him that it is not okay to say that to people. So I go up to him and I say, “Hey, man. Next time you see a woman identifying person at a show, don’t assume they are there to sleep with someone in the band. Don’t assume that is their job. If you see someone working a show, assume they are working.” And he was like, “Look, sorry you have some problems you are projecting on me. I am a lot older than you are. I have been to way more shows than you have and scientifically speaking, women at shows are usually dating someone in the band.” And I was like interesting because let me tell you how many shows I have been to in the last five years alone and how few of the women I have interacted with are sleeping with someone in the band and I told him that that is bullshit. He said, “I am a realist, I speak the truth, I am not gonna lie to you to protect your feelings.” I had kind of complained about this guy earlier and in that moment Pat from The Nude Party noticed that I was clearly upset by this guy and he asked me to come help pack stuff up so I had an excuse to get out of it, but I was like, “You’re an asshole!” And he was like, “No I’m not!” I was just shaking I was so mad. Usually someone is close minded and then you explain it to them and they apologize, but he just would not have it. I started crying and it’s so frustrating because people like that are never going to change. They don’t want to change.

I just never even understand the intention behind it, like what are they getting out of asking you that in the first place, even if you were dating someone?

Like what satisfaction would that give you if one of the guys was my husband of twenty years? Now that I have started tour managing too, I love having that say because you’re at the top of the touring crew, so if something like that happens, you can get them kicked out. I like knowing that I can do that to help people out. But that night I just could not handle it and then The Nude Party came to pack up their merch and I am sobbing and they are like, “What happened?” And Alec is like, “What is he wearing, is he still here? I need to talk to him.” And I was like no, no, no, no, no. He just ran outside to try and find him, but he had already left.They are just very good boys. I cannot speak highly enough of them. There are good boys in music.

Catch the good boys and sweet gals of Ron Gallo, The Nude Party, and Twen on tour now with CJ.

#cj harvey #ron gallo #the nude party #twen #cj harvey interview #ucla radio #uclaradio.com #ucla #college radio #ArtistInterview

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alittlelessdemocracy · 7 years

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The Parapolitics of Art

Lately I've been working from the hypothesis, adapted from my early adoption of Danto's end of art thesis as a student, combined with my own weird take on the differences between early modern painters like Picasso and Matisse, and mid-century modernist critics like Greenberg and his followers, as well as more utopian/progressive modernist projects like the Bauhaus, which I lump in with them as regards their mutual rejection of individual expression, that artists perform a compensatory function in the west, or for global capitalism. I think artists take on the excess perspective, affect, attention, attachment, and ennui that do not find utilitarian applications within capitalism and its surrounds, or rather they are the product of that excess, since I think picturing any of us as being in a position to adopt a perspective rather than discover one doesn't get our own agency quite right (even though rejecting the possibility of choice of perspective also falsely ignores our responsibility for how we choose to play from our perceived position.) Roughly speaking the artist is as much a symptom of the inadequacies of the system as the addict. I think the difference has to do with the public aspect of making art. To be an artist is to demand to participate in public life in some form while largely refusing to participate in the available democratic terms of engagement, utilizing instead socially neglected aptitudes and sensitivities (like imagination and perceptual awareness of the visual world) and drawing upon faculties constituted by alternative traditions and alternative takes on those traditions nurtured on the margins of public life...aka "the arts" or our version of shamanic traditions (“shamanism” itself being a fantasmatic projection of Western anthropologists to begin with anyway.) What's especially confusing for artists about the politics of this moment is that the margins that artists have historically constituted, and the margins who supported them were generally ones of privilege, not abuse. So to the extent that one identifies as/with the artist as a role or orientation, one loses the oppression Olympics. Even to die penniless in the proverbial garret is a privilege. I think being an artist (or choosing the ceaseless path of “becoming an artist,” to borrow my own language from a few years ago) also has recognizable affinities with what some have called the warrior ethos. In other words, I reject the category of "art worker” or “creative” as an attempt to recoup the artist for the left as a “responsible” citizen. The system is fucked, but at least artists get to fuck with it...not so much from a position of radicallity, as so much of our own PR would have it, but from an ironically embedded position of deep identification with tradition in opposition to the institutions that the tradition upholds and depends on. Irony is only possible within the relative safe space of stable institutions, which ironically protect this privilege to object, even as they attempt to stamp it out completely as a possibility. As I also wrote some time ago: “to be an artist is to experience dislocation as a virtue,” and anyone can join (or recognize themselves as belonging to) this pirate tradition, and to the extent they opt into this alternative worldview, they are (becoming) artists. Artists turn their status as misfits and outsiders into a counterfeit passport, and traditionally have always looked to members of the elite to provide them with the space and resources necessary to facilitate their "travels." As artists, we actually have a deep psychosocial connection to the elite which goes far beyond our own dependence on their money: we aspire to be as outside of the village as they are. I think in a lot of ways, our patrons understand and accept this fact more than artists, who generally think of themselves as being on the side of “the people,” and the revolution, believing that revolution is about making everyone an artist, rather than what it actually comes down to, which is closing the loopholes in the system so that no one would still desire to escape it. Until then, some artists need a lot of resources to make their journey, and some need less, but all of them are resident aliens in one way or another, looking for places to get away with something that exceeds the demands and roles available within the "straight" world. It’s interesting that the iconography of elitism (the illuminated eye on the pyramid, the skull and crossbones) is such that it could also represent the artist. So the question of painting (or making art) like a native (which is an interesting term because it's one constituted from the outside looking in - and here I'm thinking of the colonial context) is apropos. Disregarding the problems with the native/non-native distinction, and provisionally assuming the existence of the native for purposes of discussion, I think the difference the distinction is intended to mark is also close to the heart of the distinction that artist/non-artist is intended to make salient. We (westerners at least) constitute these distinctions because we do not feel at home in our own culture (the concept of culture itself, in the anthropological rather than elite sense is also a symptom of this internal disunity.) These roles (anthropologist, artist) emerge in the context of the modern world mostly (attempts to locate ancient artists, or non-western artists, are always provisional distortions, even though, like the idea of the artist as leftist, they come from a place of “good” intention.) Nevertheless, it's also complicated by the fact that there's been a lot more global culture a lot earlier than this picture accounts for. Enlightenment Europeans drew on their understanding of Chinese and Indian thought and statecraft when coming up with their plans to reorder society in a way that erased "superstition" and the authority of tradition. On top of this I'm not so much of a postmodernist that I would say that we can't actually talk meaningfully about non-western art or philosphy (which would sort of be the implication if I was - which ultimately leads to Quine's radical translation argument, and Foucault's relativism of force, or really to the belief that we can't actually talk meaningfully to anyone, even ourselves.) I'm enough of a structuralist in my leanings to think that maybe it (the emergence of art) has more to do with what we used to call "civilization"...as something like a gradient from nomadic hunter gatherers to tribal settlements and agriculture, to towns, to cities, institutions, architecture, politics, etc...so - to get to my point - if art meets certain needs within the context of "civilization," those needs, to the extent that they are universal, are met in different ways in different civilizations, and in even more different ways in less "civilized" contexts. Again - the language is problematic, but listing the differences between what we used to call prehistoric or "primitive" groups and more "advanced" settings would expand an already overlong explanation to the point of losing whatever coherence continues to cling to it. Or to put it more simply - civilization produces native non-natives, and/or non-native natives, but within civilization, and further in within any pocket of civilization, the same thing occurs on a smaller scale. Within the worlds of contemporary art, their appear to be distinctions between those who appear to one group as natives (again looking from the apparent outside in) and those who feel themselves like non-natives. In the company of fellow artist/aliens, I vacillate in my feeling at home and my feeling excluded, and compensate for these feelings by imagining that some other participants feel more at home with the privileges of being an artist, and around the privileges that those who support us enjoy and gain by their association with us. By imagining that some other artists are more native to the situation than I am, I constitute myself as more free than them, more "awake" than them, and more of an "artist" than them. So again - I can't help seeing art as some kind of compensatory outlet for pent up aggression, or under-employed imagination, or unsatisfied appetite for creative expression or initiatory annihilation of existing limits, which we all know are temporary from the perspective of eternity - which is the perspective that all art really is coming from (this too shall pass.)

The problem with art that seeks to be democratic or representative or communicative - i.e. “accessible” - is that insofar as it succeeds, it does not really meet the deeply antisocial desires that we look to art to fulfill. It attempts to resolve the external contradictions that its continuing existence - even in such a diminished form - proves have not been resolved.

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trentteti · 5 years

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Predictions for the January 2020 LSAT

Folks, it’s that time again. We summoned our in-house LSAT prognosticator from his lair, and he arrived in a tattered red tunic and blue wizard hat embroidered with good stars and crescent moons. (We ask if he’s been paying close attention to the LSAT, but by the looks of it he’s mostly been watching Fantasia on Disney+.) Nonetheless, we retrieved his crystal ball and his LSAT-themed tarot cards, we hired an astrologer-consultant to assure everyone that Mercury is in fact not in retrograde, so we need not expect a crazy weird logic game — and our prognosticator will finally to make some predictions for the January LSAT.

But before making these predictions, His Clairvoyance has prepared a brief statement about the nature of making LSAT predictions. And, just so you’re prepared, he only speaks in arcane riddles and analogies. Anyway, here’s his statement:

“In most ways, predicting what’s going to be on a given LSAT is similar to reaching your hand blindly into a bowl of trail mix, and predicting what will be in that handful. In a broad sense, that prediction is very easy to make. You’ll retrieve some cashews, some raisins, some almonds, maybe a morsel of chocolate or two. On any given LSAT, you’ll get some conditional logic, some common fallacies, some cause and effect, and maybe a difficult passage and game or two.

“But in other ways these predictions are quite inexact. Exactly how many cashews, raisins, almonds, and morsels will I pull? Might I uncover a pistachio? Will the morsels be chips or M&Ms? And, if the latter, which colors? So we ask, ‘How many questions with conditional statements will appear?’ ‘How many times will we see an exclusivity fallacy, or an absence of evidence fallacy?’ ‘How hard will the difficult game truly be, and what form will it take?’ All I can do is tell you what has occurred the last time I reached my hand into the proverbial trail mix bowl, and make an educated guess from that.”

OK, if you were able to follow that, you’re now ready to hear our predictions for the January LSAT …

Logical Reasoning

After turning the tarot cards, peering into his crystal ball, consulting the learned astrologer, our prognosticator thinks this will be the distribution of LR questions …

The prognosticator notes that there were an abnormally high number of Must Be True and Soft Must Be True questions on the last few LSATs, so he expects that number to regress in 2020. The number of questions asking you to characterize a formal aspect of an argument — those that ask you to break down an argument and identify its main point, or the role of a given statement, or its technique of argumentation — has been increasing recently, and our prognosticator believes this will continue into the new year. Flaw and Strengthen questions will be the most prevalent. And His Clairvoyance believes that four of those eight Strengthen questions will be Strengthen Principle question (i.e., the ones that say, “Which one of the following principles, if true, most help to justify the above reasoning?” or, “The reasoning above most closely conforms to which one of the following principles?” They say “following principles” in the prompt, basically. These require you to find a broad rule that will connect an argument’s reasoning to its conclusion). And, of course, our predictor has the Operation family taking up the lion’s share of LR questions, with twenty-three Operation questions in total (compared to the seven Implication questions and twenty-one Characterization questions, adding up to the typical fifty-one LR questions).

Our predictor’s cashew count — if we followed his analogy correctly — has this test at twelve diagrammable questions. Expect those to appear in the Must Be True, Parallel and Parallel Flaw, Strengthen Principle, and Sufficient questions mainly, but also watch out for a diagrammable Flaw or Necessary question as well. And our predictor’s going chalk on the common fallacies — he thinks the typically dominant causation, exclusivity, and equivocation fallacies will continue to dominate these tests.

Our predictor also thinks abstract, difficult to parse language is going to be pretty common on some of the more difficult LR questions, so he advises everyone to read up on how to deal with confusing and abstract answer choices.

Will this be, on the whole, a difficult Logical Reasoning section? Our prognosticator does not think so, but is quick to note that your opinion may vary. And that’s sort of the nature of Logical Reasoning sections. A section that prominently featured questions suited to one test takers’ strengths would feel easy to that test taker; the same section with the same questions may be ill-suited to another test taker. Or, as he put it, “One may prefer cashews to almonds, another may only enjoy raisins. The same handful cannot suit the tastes of every mouth. The same questions may not suit the strengths of every test taker.”

Logic Games

Our prognosticator notes that the last few Logic Games sections followed a familiar template: three manageable (though-by-no-means-easy) games and one very difficult game. The oracle thinks the January 2020 will follow the same template. The one difficult game was the fourth game in June and November 2019, but it was the third in September 2019. Our predictor is getting a fuzzy read on which game will be the difficult one in January. He doesn’t know which morsel of chocolate you’re going to get, to extend his metaphor. So this is what he’s recommending:

After finishing games one and two, take a look at games three and four. Set each up, represent the rules, if there’s an Elimination question first, try doing that one (without making any deductions or scenarios or anything like that). At that point, you should have a strong sense of which one is more manageable. Do that one first. Take the time you need to do it perfectly. Then try the really difficult one. If you have a surplus of time to do the last game (like ten or more minutes), make scenarios, and try to answer the questions. If you don’t have that luxury of time, however, just try to answer the Conditional questions (the ones that start with the word “if”) with whatever time you have remaining.

Our prognosticator notes, smugly, that you don’t need a crystal ball to notice that a lot of recent games have been “underbooked” — which means that there are more spaces in your set-up than players available to occupy them. November 2019 had three underbooked games; September had two. Our soothsayer believes there will be one underbooked game here — specifically an underbooked stable grouping game. The seer thinks there will be only two groups in that game.

Elsewhere, His Clairvoyance believes there will be a 1 to 1 ordering game, a tiered ordering game, and a combo game — a game with both ordering and grouping. Recently, the makers of the LSAT have been fond of throwing in small twists to this otherwise common games, so our prognosticator advises you to watch out for those. Mainly, he recommends not letting any small twists derail you — usually a small change to your set-up or rules is enough to account for these twists.

Finally, we’d all like to remind you to look our for rules or constraints in these games that will enable you to construct scenarios. Scenarios have made almost every recent game a whole lot easier, so don’t forget to look for rules that are suitable for scenarios, or for very constrained players, groups, or slots that can allow you to construct scenarios.

Reading Comprehension

Recent Reading Comp sections have all been fairly similar. Each section of late has featured one passage about the sciences, one related to the law, and one related to the arts or humanities. The remaining passage has been somewhat variable, but is usually related to history or culture or some combination of the two. So our crystal gazer doesn’t feel like he’s going out on a limb in predicting that January 2020 RC section will take a similar form.

The topics of these passages are notoriously hard to discern for our soothsayer. He does note that many of the recent passages on the arts have discussed either types of artistic media (like film) or a specific genre of literature or film or music or theater. The prognosticator suspects that painting or another static visual art — which haven’t been featured in quite some time — might be the topic in January. He thinks the passage might be about some specific genre or movement of painting — its goals, its aims, its practitioners, and cetera. He thinks the legal passage will be about international law — especially with multiple recent passages focusing on international environmental law, he thinks this is a pretty safe bet. A slightly less safe bet our prognosticator is willing to make: the science passage will be the comparative passage, something that hasn’t happened on any published passages since September 2016’s comparative passage on muscle memory.

Finally, His Clairvoyance thinks that Reading Comprehension will be, on balance, the most difficult section for most test takers. As a fortune teller, it is his duty to tell you that he wishes you good fortune.

The Curve

Finally, here’s the curve he’s predicting for the January 2020. He notes that he’s probably wrong about at least a few of these figures, but with a nondisclosed test like January’s, where the curve never gets released, we’ll never know one way or the other. As always, these figures refer to the number of questions you can get wrong and still earn a given score:

Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be the most forgiving curve. But it wouldn’t be the least forgiving curve either. And in the end, neither I nor our prognosticator thinks you should worry about the curve all that much.

————

But before we go, our prognosticator wanted to share one final note. Here’s what he said:

“Of course, in any handful of trail mix, some cashews, some almonds, some raisins, and some morsels of chocolate are bound to appear. A true trail mix connoisseur acquires a taste for these components both individually and together, and can stomach any combination or permutation of them. Likewise, the truly prepared LSAT taker learns to relish the components of the LSAT that are bound to appear — conditional reasoning, common fallacies, cause and effect, ordering and grouping games, passages about the sciences, the arts, the law. No matter the permutation, the truly prepared LSAT taker can vanquish any exam.”

OK, sure. Good luck next Monday, every one.

Predictions for the January 2020 LSAT was originally published on Blueprint LSAT Blog

#January LSAT #LSAT #predictions #trent teti #lsat

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jdlmpo · 5 years

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Of Pixels and Spaces

I was once a happy child curious of the world. Finding questions. Seeking joy out of discovery. Sneaking into silent, unknown corners of mind. Transforming scraps into fascinating child’s encounter of knowledge and basic shapes of art. Always eyeing for moments of adventure in some of the most quiet and isolated place. Hearing these little voices once touched the grass, trees, rocks, soil, dirt, materials of knowledge being found. Even I used to play with air by containing it in a small plastic bag and try to sink it in water as if I could drown air just to learn pressure. I used to keep looking for nature to respond. It was innocent. There was always somewhere to fill in. Like a space that I could claim. Safer than the safest behind a close door. The world was open.

Until age came over with a new kind of world. This world is overwhelmingly bigger but hollow, open but crowded where space cannot be safe and be contained or claimed.

I was in early high school when I got fully convinced that I am a “user” even my accounts were born during their beginning of unprecedented domination on my early childhood. I enjoyed MySpace for its side-scrolling home page but it’s just once and I never had the chance to get an account there. I prevented Friendster for everything I’d heard from my childhood friends maliciously enjoying its alleged feature from where they could find anyone with their scandalous “bold” pictures of other persons with their photoshopped heads on it or even videos by searching their names. It was hilariously convincing. But I never had visited the site even up to this day.

The only Social Networking Site of this time was the rocking dominating Yahoo! Messenger. Once in that time, when I decided to stay at my uncle’s friend’s house, I was enjoying her unlimited access to Internet that I could freely open sites anything I knew. She used to join in many chat rooms. She showed me how it works: permission before the group to lead and talk, like there is protocol, they called themselves “DJs”, users could open their microphones and cameras, or just only join in the message conversation. She told me, as I remember, anyone could join in, including users around the world, as I noticed she was talking in English, in mic and in messenger. I just got to discover that this was then simply open but not safe, when one male chatted to the group tagging someone: this is for you, and danced maliciously, beginning to remove his shirt and short. My uncle’s friend turned off her shared view of the group video, but it was till opened for the rest of users who wish to view.

Digital space is open and free that it has been easily invaded by malevolent people who adore to play with fire.

As a toddler, I was addictive to playing simulation and sandbox games such as CityVille (occasionally, FarmVille). It was a time when PSP, GameBoy and DS were replaced by easily accessible Internet, especially Facebook. There were players I encountered cursing and sending senseless messages to insult people during the game, as well as in most of the games on the site. I was often bullied in my childhood. Bullying would extend to using my ignorance of the Internet. My computer illiteracy had made me vulnerable for making me ignorant to malicious sites. That time when I’m with my uncle’s friend, that’s even the first time I had opened a porn site because I trusted suggestions of my classmates when I asked for popular gaming sites, like Friv, Y3, Y8, Y100, etc. We were Grade 4.

‘Pisonet’ then popped up rampantly around the town. It was the cheap alternative of ‘comshops’ (computer shop/rent shops), but both are then used interchangeably. In the worst case of machoistic culture of Filipinos, playing Counter-Strike or Special Forces require boys to be mocked and questioned if you are gay or straight to play the game. So I was stuck playing children games that were likely more appropriate for my age that did not fit for their masculinity. Bullying was the line between these classes of younger users. Of those games, DOTA became the very toxic game for children playing in comshops, where there would be inescapable influences of gambling, bullying, bad behavior and attitude, cigarettes, alcoholics, and even drugs from adult costumers of these shops. At that time, managers could not help but tolerate this behavior of children and adults alike as they generate the most of their income.

Mostly, these irresponsible shops contribute to the worsening situation of Internet use in the Philippines. When CCTVs were not prevalent before, younger users had no direct guidance in using the Internet as renting it became it as their personal territory where they were free to visit malicious sites. Oftentimes, I would see children watching porn and, much worse, aware adults just ignored those kids.

It was a horror for parents that they have to ban their children from these shops or pushed shops to act. Implementing strict and stricter rules to maintain discipline in playing games and using the Internet.

These risks were even not resolved even to this day of high level of security and management in Internet. Children also turned to higher means of escaping restrictions with the rise of VPN and uncrackable levels of anonymity. Total control was not even the cure.

As a teenager, Facebook is the staple. Early on high school, it was posting updates that broke personalities of the Filipino teenager. Everyone has to have a Facebook account otherwise you will look like the uncivilized.

Internet is breaking free from limitations of humanity with digital space had begun to be the playground for crimes at the turn of the 21st century.

As you know, Internet is the greatest democracy in history. That how miracle was the EDSA revolution came with technology, was the very power made as the advancement of Internet created revolutions around the world, affecting the actual physical world. By turning into hashtag activism in Twitter. Fighting against ignorance on Facebook. Sharing educational videos, evidences for protest from YouTube. Googling knowledge at the entire immeasurable catalogues of information. Hiding in the corners of this ever-expanding space. Or even deeper than the surface, the world protest for the crisis of truth and false information have used the Deep(er), Dark(er) layers of the Web and to declare history must never forget the power of Internet.

#PowerOfInternet #Cyberbullying

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feathersandblue · 8 years

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hansbekhart

reblogged your post and added:

I’d rather discuss what you think of my argument.

Then I hope you don’t mind me putting this in an extra post, as the original thread is getting quite long.

I’m copying/posting your last reply here:

I don’t think it’s a contradiction though. I think it’s a miscommunication, stemming mostly from privilege. The disconnect in this argument is over what, exactly, is problematic.

Fandom has always imagined itself as a place of progressive values - a place where (predominately) women can explore their own sexuality and recreate community in a way that isn’t hostile to them, as a lot of the real world is. But this world we’ve created still has all of the prejudices that each member was brought up with - there’s no way that it couldn’t, firstly because many of our prejudices are invisible to us, and secondly because a lot of fandom works were created specifically to remix that already-existing culture: fan fiction is a mirror that we bend to find stories that include ourselves.

I think that the expression “fandom has always imagined itself” is a bit of a generalisation that does not hold up to close scrutiny: fandom is extremely diverse, and I don’t necessarily think that everyone who participates in it - or even the majority of people who participate in it - frame their contribution in these terms, or see it in that light.

So while such a narrative exists, especially when it comes to the defense and representation of fandom in media, I wouldn’t agree that this idea of “progressiveness” is at the center of fandom for a majority of fans - at least not for those who never engage on a meta level. People often politicize fandom, but I’d argue that fandom, as such, is personal rather than political.

I absolutely agree wtih you that fandom content reflects our perception of the world, and all of our biases. But for me, that’s pretty much a given, and I’d like to add that the same applies to every kind of art and literature: whether we try to avoid it or not, everthing that we create is a reflection of our environment (geographical, historical, political), our personality, our prejudices and biases, our personal issues.

And since it’s squeezed through what could arguably be called a feminist lens (because it positions female sexuality and self-exploration at its center), we fool ourselves into thinking that all the bad stuff - the parts of the world we were so alienated by that we were compelled to fix them - all that ugliness, we think it all gets left on the other side of the glass.

I don’t think that is the case, actually. At least I can’t confirm that from my own perspective and experiences. Very few people that I’ve spoken to - very few people who I argue with - would claim that fanworks are necessarily “better” or “less problematic” than the sources they derive from. Such a statment, I think, would be difficult to uphold when one takes a closer look at the average fanwork, the 90% between “My Immortal” and your Personal Favorite.

I think that there might be a bit of confusion - or disagreement - about the nature and purpose of fanworks. In my understanding, fanworks are a form of wish-fulfillment and self-empowerment for those who create it. Fanworks can be progressive, sure, and they can be political, but I see that as side effect rather than a primary purpose. First and foremost, fanworks are hedonistic. They are the self-expression of individuals, the purely self-indulgent outlet for personal creativity.

Of course, I have no idea what goes on in the mind of any given fan creator or writer. But speaking from my own perspective, when I write fanfiction, I write things for my own, personal enjoyment, for my own, personal amusement, or, if I wanted to be flippant: Because I can. Nothing inherently progressive about that.

I’m saying “we” not just as a fan, but as a demographically representative one. Fandom is majority straight, white, and female - I’m two of those things, and can pass for the third. The reason I called this the White Feminism of discourse is because that’s where I think it comes from: a centering of a certain sort of narrative and victimhood to the exclusion of all others. Not necessarily out of maliciousness, but because a large proportion of fans don’t see the persistently racist problems in fandom - because it doesn’t affect them. Because they’ve never experienced racism personally, and are blind to the way they (we) perpetuate the microaggressions or outright racism that literally every fan of color has experienced in fandom. It’s a language we can’t hear unless we really, really listen.

Fandom is mostly white and female, though not necessarily straight, but that’s another matter.

I think we need to make a distinction here, and that’s between fandom as a space for individuals, and the idea of fandom as it is currently presented in media by pro-fandom voices, which indeed often paints fandom as a beacon of progressiveness and female empowerment.

When it comes to the individual fan and their contribution to fandom ... I hate to say it, but there is no reason why any given fan should priotitize anything but their own, selfish enjoyment. I’m not in fandom to contribute to the joy and happiness of other people. I’m here for my own.

Creating art of fiction is always a selfish act. No writer writes something they don’t want to write (unless they’re paid for it, or course), no artist paints something that they don’t want to paint. That’s how we create: it’s our personal, self-indulgent vision that we turn into something that other people might enjoy. Or not enjoy, whatever the case may be.

The argument that I often hear is “if your personal enjoyment comes at the price of other people’s hurt feelings, it’s oppressive and immoral”, but that only applies when I actually force people to consume the product of my imagination. But as long as they have the freedom of choice, why should their feelings take precedence over mine?

Especially, and I feel that this is an important point that doesn’t get stressed often enough, when I don’t even know who these people are? We’re on the internet. I have no idea whether the person I’m dealing with is actually who they claim to be. I have no idea what their life looks like. I have no idea whether they were actually “triggered” by something (I’m using quotation marks because the way the word is used here on tumblr, it can mean anything, from mild annoyance to great anxiety) or are just striving strive for power and control.

I can totally get where the people who write this sort of positivity posts about fandom are coming from, and I can get why it seems like these are attacks out of left field. But when you (and not meaning you specifically, OP - all of us) claim essentially that all media/fandom is good, and all ways of consuming media/fan fiction are good, that ignores the way that media/fandom continues to be a really hostile and ugly place for a lot of people. You may mean, “There is no bad way to explore your sexuality,” but it can sound like you really mean “Even if it includes explicit, unqualified racism.”

But who says that media/fandom has to be “good”? Who made that rule when I wasn’t looking? When I “joined” fandom, I never agreed to limit my own, personal enjoyment to what minorities find acceptable. And while I get that some people think they’re entitled to that - that it should be my goal as a “decent person” to make them feel included, safe, welcome, and cared for - that’s not what I’m here for.

You may find this a controversial statement, but actually, it shouldn’t be controversial at all. I get that some people would like me to sign a metaphorical contract, with the fine print written in their favor, but the truth is that such a contract does not exist within fandom.

No other person has the actual authority to tell me that my own enjoyment should not be my sole and ultimate goal. People might think they have the moral authority to tell me that, but there is no reason why I should have to accept that.

Why should I let other people dictate what my contribution to fandom should look like? Or, what’s more to the point, why should I let a bunch of strangers with funny urls do that, who willingly choose to engage with the content that I post on my blog or to my AO3 account?

ESPECIALLY because, when confronted with that exact challenge, a lot of people double down on that and admit that yeah, the racism doesn’t really bother them. Which is what’s happening here.

It’s not a contradiction, but an unwillingness to confront an ugly truth about fandom because it doesn’t personally affect you. Fandom has a huge problem with racism, and pointing that out is not an act of The Morality Police.

Well, I’m one of these people. Though I think it’s fair to say that while racism does, in fact, bother me, my understanding of racism does not conform with the US American definition, and I’m not inclined to re-frame my worldview according to US American sociological theories just because fan culture happens to be dominated by US Americans.

It’s not only racism, though, is it? It’s “abuse” and “homophobia” and “transphobia” and “ableism” and “misogyny” and so on, and I can tell you that most of what I’ve written and published would raise the hackles of one minority or another, if they came looking.

Or rather, raise the hackles of some individuals, which is another issue: very rarely, in my experience, has there been an agreement within a minority group on whether something was actually “harmful” or “offensive”. So, when I’m faced with a couple of people who come to my inbox, often in a very hostile manner, to tell me that something is offensive to people of color, or Jewish people, or trans people, or disabled people, and so on, they might be making a lot of noise, but I have no real means to say whether they are actually representative of the minority they claim to speak for.

In reality, it might look a little like this: My piece of dark fic, which was clearly labeled as such, got twohundred hits. Ten people left kudos, one left a positive but trivial comment, and now suddenly three people, one after the other, leave their comments in quick succession, neiher politely worded nor inviting a discussion, informing me that this piece of fiction is problematic and needs to disappear. Because they say so.

That’s the point where I have to ask myself: if I give in to that kind of intimidation and pressure, am I doing it because these people are in the right, or because I’m afraid? Am I willing to follow their moral code, which apparently includes dogpiling, intimidation, and name-calling, or do I trust my own?

Meanwhile, the people in my comment section are in all likelihood not willing to take my opinion into account. Any attempt on my side to justify myself just leads to statements like “check your privilege”, “you’re a nazi apologist”, “white (cis, straight, abled) people don’t get a say in this”. Disagreement is not an option. They’ve decided that my content problematic, that I am problematic, and that’s that.

I’ve seen this play out in a variety of instances, and quite honestly, I think it’s very important that people don’t give in to that kind of bullying.

Finally, let me just add, for good measure: I think you’re right in one point, and that is that we might want to stop pretending that fandom is all about progressiveness, when progressiveness is mostly accidental, and yes, we can absolutely point out that fandom content reflects the preferences of those who contribute to it. If that’s mostly white women, the content will reflect that, as we’ve basically agreed above.

On the other hand, if everyone keeps making the kind of content that they want to see, instead of bemoaning that others don’t make it for them, fandom will continue to change.

Just don’t expect fans to go to great length to make fandom a better place for others if that’s not what they signed up for.

#hansbekhart

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deathghost8 · 5 years

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Origin 1

First fragments **This forms a broad timeline however the specific breaks and amounts of time between have been mostly left out, though you may occasionally note formatting artifacts which somewhat mark the break points.** I guess this all started late one night when a passenger in my car asked a strange question- What are you like as a person? My mind locked up for a moment trying to produce the response. I’m very inward, as in there’s so much thought swirling about my mind that it can be a struggle to pull any of it down into verbal communication. As you just saw. So I used to misinterpret my inwardness as solitary, but as I’ve grown up I have learned that I vitally seek people. I seek to help them. I need the energy, being needed. I started with just me, a fragment of me, inside, and worked my way out. I refused external wisdom. I had to figure it all out my way. That’s what I’m like as a person. In kindergarten I would refuse to do the art projects, desiring to make my own design than to reproduce the suggested themes. Another night, in the deep suburbs near where I lived, I stared into the vacant shops and offices, brooding. A very typically slow Friday night. Nothing at all is going on out here, even on a weekend night. What’s so convenient about this store, I demanded to know. All you fucking sell is sugar water, candy, junk food, nothing real. The overhead signs glowed back at me defiantly. Over 112 energy drink. Flavors to choose from. Deli. Restrooms. Ice cream. Energy zone High Voltage. Cold drinks. This ain’t convenience! This is shit! It’s not just the health less ness… It’s the infuriating marketing we’ve all been force fed for generations now asking us to accept healthlessness. Near the start of that night, waiting for any ride requests, I stared into the library across from my place. Imagining an old library man, the keeper of the establishment. It brings him joy, and he’s lived there and kept the place in order for as long as I can remember. But no. No we don’t have that. We have economics which have divided us up, kept us living separately, just coming together to grind through the workday, scarcely interacting, then back to our disconnected residences. We need to rehumanize everything. We need old library men. The concept of the library is theoretically just right, but under implemented. It needs to be a center point to a village, a place where everyone can convene and receive nurture, knowledge, nourishment. It needs to have a kitchen and other community driven facilities. Even housing units, as an option for anyone experiencing a conflict at home or difficulty finding a home. I would love to cook for my neighborhood. Nothing brings people together in belonging like good free food. We need to rehumanize everything. We can’t continue on like this. Several weeks before that, I sat in a parking lot, which happened to contain a cell tower. I posted it to all of my blogs and accounts. Behold the beacon of our dystopia ~ a state of civilization in which our communities keep us separated instead of unified, and this technology tethers us to the employer and gives us the illusion of connection to each other so we scarcely notice the actual distance of humanity from itself #wireless #lifeless #dehumanized #dystopia A little after that, I drove past a curious mass of parked cars. So many all parked, but the location did not seem to be a public parking lot or car dealership. Maybe they were rental vehicles. I think that sight planted the seed of thought that continued to haunt me. But I realized I’ve been haunted by this for as long as I can remember in my adult life. I’ve always peered into partially lit, empty offices or residences with dim lighting spilling out, just longing for some purpose, some life. Who I am has formed almost completely upon the basis of this haunted sense of the scarcity of actually living. The emptiness all around me. I don’t know what to do. But just now, having come up with the right words for my relation to the other humans here and now, I can see that my calling is to spark rehumanization. I have to do it. Everywhere I go, every way within my control, I have to positive initiate. Break the insecurity. Unite with those around me. Give them permission to be alive for once just by crossing paths with me. The things people say to me, mostly drunk ones, in my car have confirmed this thought process. My city is populated with beautifully vibrant people just doing their best. For the first time ever I feel a kinship with my actual place, that I only could have gained going around serving the people, lightening their load - there is immense freedom in being transported without having to drive. It is similar to minimalist housing. Far lower emotional overhead. Zen af. All on its own before we have exchanged one word, my efforts are toward rehumanization when I am out on the road taking people out, or to work, or getting them home safely. ~ Hey employers- are you sick and tired of unmotivated, whiny employees always trying to get more time off and get off the hook for being late when they barely even work while on the clock? Look no further, I have the answers you need. My new human efficiency program will help you schedule your labor and time off provisions so that work will get done when it needs to and the employees will be happy and engaged in your organization’s goals. My seminar will teach you everything you need to know about engaging your workforce as human beings, trusting in their talents, and structuring work the way real people actually work. You’ll learn how to treat people who actually have more important priorities in their life than your profit margins and performance bonuses, so you can unlock the true potential of the parents in your workforce rather than constantly working against it. I’ll teach you how to avoid the 3 most common productivity and morale busting mistakes employers make when it comes to allocating human resources, to achieve astonishing levels of occupancy you never thought possible. ~ Spent most of today experiencing waves of furiousness… The rare state in which life is screaming at you in every color. The one where it’s like you’re going cry, but you just linger in that space without the catharsis. How much suffering and loss is it going to take before we acknowledge it. We are complicit in every death. Every murder and every suicide. It’s on us, while we yet continue to stand by whilst human beings are thrown away, and treated like garbage by elitist economics. I’m ready for open revolt against the extreme wealth that has decimated any semblance of fair free market. Donating my platelets every other week has imparted to me a sense of vitality, a willingness to bleed and physically give of myself in defense of fairness for my kids and my brothers and sisters, all life on our earth. I grew up through a large amount of grief and trauma, having lost my mother at age 10 and suffered numerous abuse and neglect following this, developed PTSD. I spent the last few years recovering and learning what I needed to do in order be the real authentic me in defiance of the PTSD suppressing myself, to hide it even from my own consciousness - dissociation is the primary feature of symptoms. I realized that all the work I want to do, all the life dreams I have involve non monetary gains. Work whose value isn’t money, but love. I bounced several ideas off my sister (first born, and grew up in an adoptive family, I am 2nd born, we just met last summer)- everything from family campus / super libraries to update for the needs of families in today’s economy, to an emergency life crisis ambulance/center (for the purpose of providing access to first response in critically life threatening EMOTIONAL / DOMESTIC injury rather than physical, to a housing program designed to complement the first response so victims of economic tyranny or domestic oppression would have somewhere to go to escape the trauma source, to a restaurant that operates sort of like facebook where you do not actually have to pay to be a patron / participant in the product. I don’t want to be making food just to throw it away. I want to feed the people, and teach them how to make great food for cheap. I want to apply this same aesthetic to all aspects of living/service industry, from housing, to gym/shower, communication/internet cafe, clean drinking water, and early preschool (0-5 education) that is DIRELY needed for our generation’s families with kids. Ever since I lost my higher paying IT job I’ve been very focused on the entrepreneurial attitude toward making a living. It got me thinking about the actual term, living… and I realized that it’s not living at all to sell off most of your time in order to pay for housing and nutrition. I drove with uber and lyft for the better part of this year, but I also worked on a food truck and in a grocery delicatessen. We throw away almost all of what we make to be sold, hot or cold, day by day. Why not operate as a non profit, remove the pay to play and ridiculous markup that is done to create a profit margin, and serve all who are hungry, whilst accepting tips / pay what you want and running a recipe blog / school to promote Budget gourmet as a brand while attracting sponsors who want to be part of the ecosystem of community consciousness and hunger security inclusiveness. Thus the idea is dual faceted. I want to run as a food truck, going where there are likely to be a lot of hungry and economically rock bottom or near to it community members. But I also want to have the ability to share the recipes and the knowledge for our frugal gourmet minimalism theme in a way that builds community. So there is serving in house but also the to go / DIY element that has done very well for brands like blue apron. The bicycle collective near here has an earn a bike program where kids can come learn how to build the bike and get to keep it. The idea is to give to the community, not serve a bottom line or a profit target. Pay to play is a garbage aesthetic and we need to start acting against it immediately. I have to start somewhere. I cannot keep flushing my time down the toilet for an hourly wage. what this really comes down to is this you have the permission to be you and the power to do so that is your authenticity and your creativity that is who you are whatever you feel makes you powerful and special and worthwhile if anyone looks upon that, your truth, and feels saddened or threatened, or uncomfortable because of your truth. That is not on you! that is on them, on their unwillingness to be vulnerable, or to hold space for human truth death makes you stronger when i am gone, u will become more powerful than can possibly imagine because you will experience the spiritual level up that is only found when your close connection or bond passes on i am trying to teach this to layne when she asks me all the time what will happen if me and her mom die ok? no it’s not ok ok. thats true but being not ok is not bad being broken and enraged and furiously lost are all natural and fuckin true and human and im perpetually stuck in that state, so much so that i can almost not participate in the routines placed before my by my society That’s why creatives are often furiously volatile. The creation is like an answer to our dread, our fiery abandonment. Not even that. It is a song. The dread is instrumental and our creation and product is the vocal. Anarchy… he eyed the borrowed body wash bottle critically, turning the word and the concept over in his mind as he scrubbed his hands clean of the filth left from the cleanup in the back. It was a disgusting job but someone had to do it. The funny thing was, he surmised, that anarchy would be a context in which everyone operated as individuals without any sort of manufacturing and packaging that made this body wash what it was. Fake, mass produced, inhuman. Anarchy would be human efficient and free of the corporate entities peddling this Branding. Just then, he heard the door open. It seemed his friend had decided to join him for a shower room chat after all. how lovely. This whole idea about charging for emotional presence / attention is interesting to me although I hate monetary currencies. Because you either have insufficient amount or else zero worry. It’s too much of an extreme. It’s the core essence of the dynamic between a client and a professional that my fascination has been fixed upon. Not the currency. The exchange of affirmation / support. The audience / receiver offers something non monetary just as the performer. Each of them needs the other. The two roles are in perfect balance. The thing that’s corrupt and fucked up is the monetary racket on human rights such as housing and nutrition access. So we’ve ended up radically having to Charge for something that is actually built in to relational structure of a tribe / population as a life guard / social infrastructure. ~~~~~~~~~~ Now, I’ve begun to think about money a little bit more intricately / focus on the nuance. There are two monetary exchange contexts that I think stand alone as good pure implementations of the abstract ideal of numeric currency. 1- when you pay your ex in the absence of any other tangible interaction, reason or desire for them to respect you or accept that you’ve done something useful - child support is actually an empowerment to the party who wants to be more civil toward the one who is being irrational. 2- tipping for attention/emotional presence. This is therapist, dancer, cam model, even tips you give to your driver or waitress. It’s similar to Play. You choose to do it freely, you aren’t exactly trading a numeric sum for a fixed quantity of something the provider creates. It’s in flux. What you get is the nurture of that person and the fulfillment of having given on your own choice, not on the structure of Product A costs X dollars. So we are talking about power. Emotional power. I once wrote something about becoming powerful being the cure for vengefulness. If you become powerful there’s no need to venge. The really intriguing thing there is the wondering whether without money’s influence we would just be naturally exchanging the emotional attention currency very freely and in a two way fashion, and money has muted us, made us withdrawn and uncertain and insecure….. crippling us with respect to emotional capability. It was funny because Layne was telling me that we should just throw away all your money. Then we can be free. She was so right! She’s always right. Kids are are smartest citizens. We just fail to listen to them or give them any freedom to choose their own passion. If they aren’t free to make their choices how can they ever reach their real potential to contribute to the human race ? Danksgiving thoughts: Be an Oregon person. They are nice to a fault! Let being nice to someone be the mistake, not failing to include people without meaning to. I talked to a random maverik worker while I was getting my soda. (Granted, she had just shot me an incredulous look questioning why I had punched the mtndew Pitch black button for one sec with no cup under it - but I responded by speaking to her without even thinking about it. I read a cue and then responded to it. I wasn’t even high yet) -Sorry, I’m a little disoriented, they don’t have any soda machines in Oregon, all their soda setups are ultra basic. I haven’t seen code red anywhere out there. Ah found it sweet (on this machine, I meant) Of course though, that’s because every restaurant and fast food just about in that state will sell you 10 different kinds of beer on tap, they just don’t care about soda. At the register she continued the thread, smiling and asking me if I was from Oregon originally. After I had realized I was taking forever to go and get to her register to pay for the drink. Commenting that I was sorry my friends were blowin up my phone today as I walked up, in recognition of how long I’d been standing there sipping the drink and looking at the phone. Once I danked up, and got home, I was thinking and realized what I’m writing, and telling right now. I realized that I positive initiated her, and I need to be an Oregon person and not a muted non participant. Just before the knowledge hit me, I was having a discussion with myself about how great the medication felt. How Utah was starting to drag me a bit but how totally recharged this was making me feel. And then pontificating further how my personality is such that I only need really small amounts of medications, the ways parts of me are magnified and variated is significant without large alteration, they scale up powerfully. However, the degree to which I am the full complete me without any med is very low. I’m far from the fully realized me, baseline. Further from it than the more normal people are from theirs in a fully unmedicated state. So that’s the trade off for my kind of neuroatypical. Further from my communicable self much of the time. Normal are a lot more authentic automatically. But I’ve learned about myself that the best thing I can do for others is automatically include them even if it isn’t necessarily otherwise beneficial to me to do so. That’s what Oregon and its people are giving to me. Potent inclusiveness affinity. * What if some works of fiction we enjoy are actually just the very clever way of certain individuals publishing their alter ego, their actual deeds, which they otherwise are unable to fully reveal to their peers or family. If this were to be read by someone who knew me, they wouldn’t know it was fiction. They would read it as factual based on contextual links to their perception of me. This is my art. What’s depicted here represents my attempt to understand the full fledged version of me, the one that interacts intuitively and doesn’t withhold any thought or feeling, just expresses itself authentically. * He had ultimately realized the folly of having a low amount of human bonds at any given time. If you’re only close and bonded with one (or none), you start to go a little loopy. it’s an echo chamber. You need a robust emotional support grid in order to access your full emotional capability. Your sanity… your intellect. The echo chamber itself can drive both partners into a place of slight unwellness, spawning toxicity and abuse within the interaction.He had finally realized what had gone wrong with his ex. They just corroded away in the convenience of each other. Then finally the bond was just too brittle, broke, and became jagged, so they had no choice but to part ways. Lesson learned. Make many friendships, and love hard, love often, love as many as you can. Not doing so is literally poisonous. Taking human risks is absolutely crucial for survival. So take them… or die inside. Bringing a child to existence can inflict the beginnings of this state on someone. Now you may be wondering how this enlightenment equates to a broken state for Stanley. Well…. I’ll explain it to you. Loving is really painful. Pain is power.Joy is sharp as fuck and we rarely actually encounter it in its pure form, the agonizing one. The one that stops time and makes us question if we may have just died and are now just experiencing the mind’s last few fantastical random musings. Its preamble is a stark, icy, disorienting space we feel when we connect most deeply with another. It’s a space that at first we fear, we respond with adrenaline, and a need to escape it. Only once we stop running away from truth, as in with death, do we begin to become capable of perceiving the power, the raw energy presented before us. The fear it triggers is so deep and primal, that only once we have mastered that fear can we harness the full spectrum and array of human capability found there. Stanley had explained this to his friends. The strongest entities are those who have risen from being REPEATEDLY shattered and destroyed. Aliveness literally only exists within the boundary of that moment of rising. Not the bottom, not the apex. Only during the rise do we experience life. ||||||| Prior fragments Missing some that are voice notes which describe plot pieces and character elements ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5TH JANUARY 2016 HAUNTER It had been only minutes, it seemed, since he collapsed exhausted into bed. Crushing, enormous pain filled his mind, hurling him back to consciousness. Crying out in the darkness, simultaneously involuntary and yet labored. It was so hard to exert the force, yet all he could do. He could not yet pry himself from the bed. He was frozen in pain. Was it an evil spirit, visiting disdainfully? *What have I done to deserve this, please go away, you. I’ve nothing against you. I just need my rest. I beg of you.* No. No, that was nonsense. I’m actually dead. I am doomed to whimper in the dark for the next foreseeable while, with no end to it. My peace has been stolen away, he thought to himself as he continued to bend under the weight of the cold oppression on his mind. I can’t even have a reasonable death. He would have chuckled except for the pain exceeding anything he had ever felt. It occupied him. Self was lost, faded into the background, the sharpness in his head was the only thing in existence. And the only thing keeping him conscious. Finally he managed to leave the bed, still moaning. Oooow. He stumbled in the dark to the kitchen for a pill. He stumbled into the study for a bit of a breath from his herbal inhaler. If there was any hope for him now it was the relief that God’s plant could bring to him. There he sat on the sofa bed. And the dark one sat beside him. The pain throbbed and lurched. He stared the entity in his invisible face. Why have you come here? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [stanley p] . . . He sat, continuing to wonder for quite some time. Hours seemed to pass, yet there he sat. Perhaps he had become lost in something deeper than the ability to express whatever it was. [powerful selves] I contain dark wisdom. Well, being wise feels a little too similar to being delirious. I’m realizing that I am as traumatized by my experiences up close to death itself as I am by what it took from me before that…. Knowledge of who I am. If I become powerful, then revenge itself loses meaning. If I become powerful, I become able to engage, provide affection, and harness total honesty to those I care about and wish to receive care from. [dreams of my death] This is my other recurring dream. One is brightness and belonging. With someone, within somewhere, that I don’t currently know. This one, is one of the other kind- Dreams about the end. It’s a very short dream. I am in some kind of elementary school. It’s daytime. I feel extremely heavy and altered. I take your hand and tell you I need to go out by the trees and lie down. It is hard to walk because I am so heavy. I am going to walk as far as I can and then collapse beside the trees. The sun is shining. I am going to die on this day- something is wrong with me and I am going to lie down and let it happen. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter /0/prologue, part 1 Success is the worst. no question. he’s the picture and definition of why our capitalism has failed. it has cultured the bacteria of ignorance, growing to absolutely terrifying levels. Most ignorant and least ethical ones have risen to hold the modern resource, wealth. in so doing, they have denied this resource to the common citizen. A system which primarily accomplishes this rather general prosperity shared by the vast majority of a populace simply should not be permitted to continue. What this amounts to is a new collective wisdom. That another few sorts of crime exist beyond what we original presumed in our legal system. Financial violence, and cyber abuse. These are the new evil. Based within the imaginary realm of monetary value and electronic communication, these wrongs currently dominate present day (modern) life. The amount of power that our number 1 criminals of today actually command is beyond the level that could’ve been imagined by civilization 200 years ago. It is a greater tyranny than any previously encountered in human history. Entire wars have been fought over less tyrannical situations. Why am I telling you this? What does this actually matter now. Their power is so great it can never be defeated now. Knowing is not half the battle. The battle is already over. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chaper 0, part 2 in 2016, Ronnie goes on to win presidency… but it turns out the illuminati is real and in direct control of the US government, where wall st has really just been a front for this secret organization, closely run by (along with other ultra wealthy elitists) Frank Success. who, it turned out, just decided to enter the race for some laughs. To amuse himself, fabricating the presidential run of a fictional character- a ridiculous and bigoted simpleton with too much money- when in actuality he is a brutal intellectual who just borders on extremely sadistic. so although the working class had won the presidency, subsequent attempts to elect purple party working folks into the government to create legislation of the new democratic socialism for human efficient and parent positive egalitarianism, what wouldve truly been the end of harsh collectivism as well as rugged individualism…. all attempts fail because voting is somehow overpowered by illuminati trickery. Ronnie’s administration discovers this by employing the most clever cyber spies recruited from anonymous, and ex-nsa whistleblowers (After it was permanently shut down a little before the 2017 inauguration of Ronnie) and at the same time covertly running a candidate in direct cooperation with actual illuminati agents. beating them at their own game once again, the reality is clear to the sandman… Ronald Sander, that there is no democracy possible while such large amounts of power exist in such concentration in the hands of essentially state-less tyrants. that their power exceeded that of monetary funding.. so no matter how resonant the political revolution, the elite stood as immovable objects.. threatening more and more every day to hire private armies in order to wage war on the former serfs at whom they used to scoff. he’d realized that american democracy couldn’t touch this enemy. as a result of this discovery, ronnie is forced to lead a global revolution against the corporations and elitist individuals who have rendered democracy completely unusable until they are disarmed. in essence a battle for what would become this.. The New States of America. the problem is, the elitists haven’t been defeated. not yet. we’ll get to that later. just be patient. [hello, newcomer / ch0 p3] Hello. My name is I don’t have one. My discipline is positively cultivating life. nurturing and supporting young people, myself, and my community. I am a lifeguard, a quiet fellow who doesn’t apologize for my refusal to recognize the worship of money, or imaginary beings supposedly influencing life in the known cosmos. The only worship I find honest is the worship of life’s beauty. Human beauty. Joy and pain. Living, dying. Adoration, and grief. All beautiful. All powerful. All real. I reject interruptions of my real life by imaginary constructs such as currency and deity. Now, my work and effort is largely ignored. I am so unvalued by the intentions of my so called civilized society, I barely even get to do the work that matters to me. Most of my attention is spent toiling for wages to exchange for basic necessities. Due to institutionalized bullying, present day history features an upside down paradigm in which work and specifically wages supports living. In this paradigm, the most important work goes ignored at least and very often completely undone. Only work in the pursuit of monetary profit gains is incentivized. That’s a strange terminology, incentive, but I swear to you it is the prevailing lingo of my people. Allow me to explain. It is a word that describes the intention to get someone to do that which has little to no actual vital value. This ‘Incentive’ is only necessary when your economics are so backwards that meeting basic human needs is considered success. In my location in space time, not being homeless is considered success. It’s not only possible but fairly likely that you can be completely excluded from the economics we have, as most wages to be found are far too low as compared to the cost to obtain housing. As a result, housing is a temporary arrangement for the vast majority of my people. We enter into an agreement to surrender the majority of our wages in exchange for the living space. This is called rental. It’s just a really fancy term invented to conceal the utter ludicrousness of the actual arrangement. The place you rent to live is called apartment. You live there, but it isn’t home. Welcome to my apartment. My tiny little sliver of society I’ve been granted the privilege to temporarily occupy. Due to the smallness of employment wages, several individuals often join together and split the rental fee, resulting in the only significant clan structure being composed of groups of us spending almost all of our time on the wage gather. We’re alone together, scarcely accruing the necessary energy to meaningfully spend attention on one another, those rare moments we even cross paths outside of the Employment scuttle. What’s the point, you wonder. Why do they continue to serve the wage, why do they not demand that the wage serve them? Like I said - institutionalized bullying. Around 1% of the people take the gains, the major portion 90% or more of what is produced by our hard work. In the beginning, this is what they did. Since then, they have created new imaginary funding known as credit, and increased it through various crooked means, to the point that now, they have infinite income. Infinite access to any item or resource that they might find useful, entertaining, or intoxicating. Oftentimes, something’s use to 1%ers is purely in its superiority value. The privateness- Its ability to exclude others. Vacation houses. Private aircraft. It’s a great big club. The party to which we aren’t invited. That is why they do not demand the wage serve them. Those from whom we would demand it are secluded away in this infinite privateness, hidden from us, untouchably elite. Using their limitless resources, they create a second version of the truth, obscuring further yet their ultimate superiority. These are the two vices - dishonesty and theft. Through these, 1%ers continuously augment the elite status to which they are addicted. They have corroded from the inside out. They are cancer on life and its beauty. They are the definition of evil, in my view. They have continuously diminished that which sustains and vitally support living, pushed it down, degraded it…. This is what we are left with: Wageslavery, notfreedom, emptiness and collective loneliness. We have nothing. The things that we have represent little more than the debts incurred to receive them. It’s good that you are here now. The private club is approaching its end. The people are awakening. The truth is being reassembled bit by bit. Employment is being circumvented by a new practice known as sharing. Stick with me, newcomer, and you will see.

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reincarnatedasacupcake · 6 years

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art by Stellaarts

Another month has gone by and I am really enjoying this whole summer vacation thing. That being said, I can't wait to go back to school in the fall, but I will take the time to relax and read while I have it. Here's what I read this month:

Long May She Reign

by Rhiannon Thomas

422 Pages (10:30 Hours)

Freya was never meant to be queen. Twenty-third in line to the throne, she never dreamed of a life in the palace, and would much rather research in her laboratory than participate in the intrigues of the court. However, when an extravagant banquet turns deadly and the king and those closest to him are poisoned, Freya suddenly finds herself on the throne. She may have escaped the massacre, but she is far from safe. The nobles don't respect her, her councillors want to control her, and with the mystery of who killed the king still unsolved, she knows that a single mistake could cost her the kingdom-and her life. Freya is determined to survive, and that means uncovering the murderers herself. Until then, she can't trust anyone. Not her advisers. Not the king's dashing and enigmatic illegitimate son. Not even her own father, who always wanted the best for her but also wanted more power for himself. As Freya's enemies close in and her loyalties are tested, she must decide if she is ready to rule and, if so, how far she is willing to go to keep the crown.

This was a lovely book that I truly enjoyed. Only in fantasy can you find an awkward girl who loves science and has severe anxiety who becomes queen simply because she couldn't stand to be social. I love it! As soon as I finished it I went to look for the next book in the series, only to find out that it was a stand alone book! Don't see much of that these days. It's kind of nice that it can stand on it's own, although I would totally read more about this amazing woman trying to do her best to be queen and still be herself.

Soppy

by Philippa Rice

108 Pages

True love isn’t always about the big romantic gestures.

Sometimes it’s about sympathizing with someone whose tea has gone cold or reading together and sharing a quilt. When two people move in together, it soon becomes apparent that the little things mean an awful lot. The throwaway moments in life become meaningful when you spend them in the company of someone you love.

SOPPY is Philippa Rice’s collection of comics and illustrations based on real-life moments with her boyfriend. From grocery shopping to silly arguments and snuggling in front of the television, SOPPY captures the universal experience of sharing a life together, and celebrates the beauty of finding romance all around us.

This is a very sweet book and I see a lot of reflection of this love in my real life, which is super nice. It reminds you that love is in the little things and that we all show our love differently. I had always loved when I came across some of these comics online, so I was thrilled when I found the whole collection of them.

The Kitchen House

by Kathleen Grissom

369 Pages

When a white servant girl violates the order of plantation society, she unleashes a tragedy that exposes the worst and best in the people she has come to call her family. Orphaned while onboard ship from Ireland, seven-year-old Lavinia arrives on the steps of a tobacco plantation where she is to live and work with the slaves of the kitchen house. Under the care of Belle, the master's illegitimate daughter, Lavinia becomes deeply bonded to her adopted family, though she is set apart from them by her white skin.

Eventually, Lavinia is accepted into the world of the big house, where the master is absent and the mistress battles opium addiction. Lavinia finds herself perilously straddling two very different worlds. When she is forced to make a choice, loyalties are brought into question, dangerous truths are laid bare, and lives are put at risk.

A masterfully written book that really hits you in the heart. This was one of my LLB for the year and I'm really glad that I finally decided to pick it up. It's one of those books that discuss race, gender and the terrible treatment of each in the past. For people that loved The Help, The Secret Life of Bees, The Invention Of Wings and other similar books that break our hearts and remind up that we need to do better.

Garnet's Story (The Lone City #1.25)

by Amy Ewing

100 Pages

In The Jewel and The White Rose, we follow Violet in her servitude under the Duchess of the Lake. Now we’ll hear the Duchess’s son, Garnet’s, story in this digital novella—a companion story to the New York Times bestselling Lone City trilogy.

Garnet, the son of the Duchess of the Lake, has always been a spoiled playboy. But now, for the first time, Garnet is beginning to realize the horrors that his family, and the ruling community, have perpetrated. And he just may be ready to do something about it.

Unlike the other short stories for this series, I actually really enjoyed this one. Yes, it is a reiteration of the other book, but is a totally different, unique story. I really enjoyed watching Garnet and the beginning of his transformation.

Adventure Time Vol. 1 (Adventure Time Volume 1; issues 1-4)

by Ryan North, Braden Lamb & Shelli Paroline

128 Pages

It's ADVENTURE TIME! Join Finn the Human, Jake the Dog, and Princess Bubblegum for all-new adventures through The Land of Ooo.

The totally algebraic adventures of Finn and Jake have come to the comic book page! The Lich, a super-lame, SUPER-SCARY skeleton dude, has returned to the the Land of Ooo, and he’s bent on total destruction! Luckily, Finn and Jake are on the case...but can they succeed against their most destructive foe yet? Featuring fan-favorite characters Marceline the Vampire Queen, Princess Bubblegum, Lumpy Space Princess and the Ice King!

Adventure Time... come on and grab a friend... This was pretty much what you would expect from an Adventure Time comic. I think my favorite part was that they introduced a new princess; desert princess, who is a cupcake who had sand powers. Love it.

It's All Absolutely Fine

by Ruby Elliot

256 Pages

IT'S ALL ABSOLUTELY FINE is a darkly comic, honest and unapologetic illustrated account of the daily struggles with mental health. Ruby Elliot, aka Rubyetc, is the talent behind the hit tumblr account, 'Rubyetc', which has over 220k followers and growing. Taking readers on a journey through the ups and downs of life, the book will encompass everything from anxiety, bipolar disorder and body image to depression and identity, shining a light on very real problems - all framed with Ruby's trademark humour and originality.

Ruby balances mental health with humour, making serious issues accessible - and very funny. With the superb talent to capture the essence of human emotion (and to make you laugh out loud), this book is as important and necessary as it is entertaining. IT'S ALL ABSOLUTELY FINE will include mostly never-before-seen material, both written and illustrated, and will be an empowering book that will make you laugh, make you think, and make things ok.

This is another of those comics that I always loved when I saw online, but wow was this book intense. I wasn't quite expecting that. Her comics can be too real and really hit you when you aren't expecting it and her writing gives you a look into her sometimes gritty reality that she tries to deal with through her humor. That be said, the humor is great, but not something to read to cheer yourself up. I made that mistake.

666 Park Avenue (666 Park Avenue #1)

by Gabriella Pierce

320 Pages (9:28 Hours)

What if your mother-in-law turned out to be an evil, cold-blooded witch . . . literally?

Ever since fabulously wealthy Malcolm Doran walked into her life and swept her off her feet, fledgling architect Jane Boyle has been living a fairy tale. When he proposes with a stunning diamond to seal the deal, Jane can't believe her incredible luck and decides to leave her Paris-based job to make a new start with Malcolm in New York.

But when Malcolm introduces Jane to the esteemed Doran clan, one of Manhattan's most feared and revered families, Jane's fairy tale takes a darker turn. Soon everything she thought she knew about the world—and herself—is upended. Now Jane must struggle with newfound magical abilities and the threat of those who will stop at nothing to get them.

This is the other LLB for the month. Yes, I am trying to catch up, since I am already so far behind with these. I tried to read this book a few times and kept putting it back down in favour of something better. Finally I found a copy of the audiobook on the Library and decided to listen to it instead. MUCH better idea. That being said, it still wasn't a great book. There were so many red flags going on that it was hard not to grimace through most of it. I'm glad it ended like it did, but I'm not going to pick up the next book.

A Wicked Thing (A Wicked Thing #1)

by Rhiannon Thomas

337 Pages (8:42 Hours)

A spinning wheel.

A prick of a finger.

A Terrible curse.

One hundred years after falling asleep, Princess Aurora wakes up to the kiss of a handsome prince and a broken kingdom that has been dreaming of her return. All the books say that she should be living happily ever after. But as Aurora understands all too well, the truth is nothing like the fairy tale.

Her family is long dead. Her "true love" is a kind stranger. And her whole life has been planned out by political foes while she slept. Everyone expects Aurora to marry her betrothed and restore magic and peace to the kingdom before revolution tears it apart. But after a lifetime spent locked in a tower for her own safety, Aurora longs for the freedom to make her own choices. When she meets a handsome rebel, she is tempted to abandon everything for a different kind of life.

As Aurora struggles to make sense of her new world, she begins to fear that the curse has left its mark on her, a fiery and dangerous thing that might be as wicked as the witch who once ensnared her. With her wedding day drawing near, Aurora must make the ultimate decision on how to save her kingdom: marry the prince or run.

A Wicked Thing is a surprising, spellbinding reimagining of what happens after happily ever after.

I enjoyed Long May She Reign (see above) so much, I looked to see what else she had written and came across another series by her that was right up my ally. What? A retelling of Sleeping Beauty after she wakes up waaaay in the future! Yes! Gimme gimme gimme....

I inhaled this book, listening to it as often as I could and finding excuses to have it on in the background. I would've gone right into the second book (yes, this one has a second book!) had I not had a few other audiobooks waiting in my auto-checkout. But I can't wait to get back into it.

Suffragette: The Battle for Equality

by David Roberts

128 Pages

2018 marks a century since the first women won the vote in the United Kingdom, and Suffragette tells the story of their fight. This is a tale of astounding bravery, ingenuity, and strength.

David's conversational style is accessible and his artwork full of rich detail, bringing to life the many vivid characters of the Suffragette movement - from the militant activist Rosa May Billinghurst to the world-famous Emmeline Pankhurst. Covering the whole range of suffragette experiences - from aristocrats to the middle and working classes, as well as a look at the global struggle for universal suffrage, Suffragette is a fantastic introduction to a fascinating topic.

This book was really neat; part book and part comic. History always seems to skip over these brave and crazy women that got us the vote and it was really neat to get to know more about them. Wow, some of them were super intense with their methods and suffered awful consequences. The one thing that I was sad about was that the last couple of pages were dedicated to women of colour who had helped in their own countries, but there was almost no acknowledgement of the fact that WOC fought along side these other women and were relegated to the back of the parades and congregations.

Temporally Out of Order

by Joshua Palmatier & Patricia Bray

294 Pages

It’s frustrating when a gadget stops working. But what if the gadget is working fine, it’s just “temporally” out of order? What would you do if you discovered your cell phone linked you to a different time? Or that your camera took pictures of the past?

In this collection, seventeen leading science fiction authors share their take on what happens when gadgets run temporally amok. From past to future, humor to horror, there’s something for everyone.

Join Seanan McGuire, Elektra Hammond, David B. Coe, Chuck Rothman, Faith Hunter, Edmund R. Schubert, Steve Ruskin, Sofie Bird, Laura Resnick, Amy Griswold, Laura Anne Gilman, Susan Jett, Gini Koch, Christopher Barili, Stephen Leigh, Juliet E. McKenna, and Jeremy Sim as they investigate how ordinary objects behaving temporally out of order can change our everyday lives.

I pick up this book because it had a Seanan McGuire story in it and not really realizing that it was a bunch of short stories. As all collections like this, they can be super hard to read. I'm not a huge fan of short stories and I find very few people can tell them well. There were only a few that I really enjoyed and they others ranged from okay to (when will this be over) terrible. The authors I did like I ended up looking up to see if I could find other books by them, so if nothing else, I did find more books to read.

Spell on Wheels, Vol. 1 (Spell on Wheels #1-5)

by Kate Leth, Megan Levens, Marissa Louise, Jen Bartel & Nate Piekos

136 Pages

A road trip story. A magical revenge fantasy. A sisters-over-misters tale of three witches out to get back what was taken fom them.

Andy, Jolene, and Claire aren't your average twenty-somethings. They're legacy witches making their way through a modern world. When a jealous nonmagical ex breaks into their home and steals a spell that could awaken potentials with magical powers, the witches plan their revenge. Traveling down the East Coast, they must retrieve their powerful stolen artifacts and strengthen their friendship... the big bad is even worse than they imagined.

I need more of this. Why isn't there more of this? This comic was so fun and fabulous that I couldn't put it down. I want more stories about these 3 women. I want novels about them; full series of them. Or at least more comics if you please.

Lumberjanes (Lumberjanes #3)

by Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis & Brooke A. Allen

27 Pages

The girls have a lot more to worry about than crazy creatures and supernatural events...they have FIELD DAY. It's a competition between the Lumberjanes and the Genteel boy camp next door that's going to be filled with surprises!

I love this gaggle of girls who are ready for crazy adventures. I really wish that these comics had been out when I was younger. It's nice to see. In this volume they come across a secret cave full of magical traps and pit falls and it will take all of them working together to make it through.

A Tangled Web (Five Hundred Kingdoms #5.5)

by Mercedes Lackey

91 Pages

Kidnapping Persephone should have been an easy task. But in the Five Hundred Kingdoms, nothing's ever simple—and the wrong blonde goddess is stolen by mistake, leaving Prince Leopold without his new bride. At least until he braves the realm of the dead to get her back...

I think I've mentioned over the last couple of years that I've been disappointing in the material that Mercedes Lackey has been putting out. But I remembered loving this series of fairy tales turned on their head and couldn't wait to read this short story about Persephone. I shouldn't gotten my hopes up. It wasn't very good. The story takes place on Olympus and in the Underworld, which was interesting, but none of the characters had any life to them. Some of the main characters are secondary characters from the book before, but I can't recall them at all. It spends half the book trying to remind you of their adventures from before (which I am still coming up blank on. 2010 was a long time ago) and doesn't really go into the story that it's in. The only flipping of the story is that these 2 other people are involved in helping and that Persephone knows who Hades actually is from the beginning.

Henchgirl

by Kristen Gudsnuk

304 Pages

Mary Posa hates her job. She works long hours for little pay, no insurance, and worst of all, no respect. Her co-workers are jerks and her boss doesn't appreciate her. He's also a supervillain. And her parents... well, they're the most famous superhero couple in Crepe City, along with her sister. Cursed with a conscience, Mary would give anything to be something other than a Henchgirl, but no matter what she does her plans always seem to go awry.

This was a really fun comic. Sometimes it's nice to read about the bad guy or his henchpeople. This comic takes a lot of wacky twists and turns that I wasn't expecting and has a great cast of heroes and villains. I also love all the little pop culture Easter-eggs that keep popping up. This is another series that I want more of.

Fraggle Rock: Journey to the Everspring #1

by Kate Leth & Jake Myler

27 Pages

When the water supply of Fraggle Rock mysteriously runs dry, the Fraggles have to journey deep into the caves of Fraggle Rock to find the fabled Everspring where adventure awaits and no Fraggle has gone before! It's the beloved characters of Fraggle Rock in their biggest story yet!

I thought this would be another fun volume to read, but it turned out to only be the first comic. It's very cute and reminded me how much I use to love the Fraggles. I actually had to stop and think about what each of them sounded like so I could get a better sense of them in the comic I wandered around for the next few days with the theme song stuck in my head... and there it is again....

Dance your cares away. Worry's for another day. Let the music play. Down in Fraggle Rock

Antigoddess (Goddess War #1)

by Kendare Blake

333 Pages (10:28 Hours)

Old Gods never die…

Or so Athena thought. But then the feathers started sprouting beneath her skin, invading her lungs like a strange cancer, and Hermes showed up with a fever eating away his flesh. So much for living a quiet eternity in perpetual health.

Desperately seeking the cause of their slow, miserable deaths, Athena and Hermes travel the world, gathering allies and discovering enemies both new and old. Their search leads them to Cassandra—an ordinary girl who was once an extraordinary prophetess, protected and loved by a god.

These days, Cassandra doesn’t involve herself in the business of gods—in fact, she doesn’t even know they exist. But she could be the key in a war that is only just beginning.

Because Hera, the queen of the gods, has aligned herself with other of the ancient Olympians, who are killing off rivals in an attempt to prolong their own lives. But these anti-gods have become corrupted in their desperation to survive, horrific caricatures of their former glory. Athena will need every advantage she can get, because immortals don’t just flicker out.

Every one of them dies in their own way. Some choke on feathers. Others become monsters. All of them rage against their last breath.

The Goddess War is about to begin.

I picked this book up because I really enjoyed Blake's Three Dark Crown series. But the 3rd one isn't out in audio form yet, si I though I would give this one a go. Like a lot of Urban Fantasy, the first book of the series didn't start out very strong. It's not that it was bad, it just seemed to be ramping up. As in setting the stage for the later books. The Olympians were interesting and I loved reading about them, but Cassandra and her posse were down right boring most of the time. Again, I realize that not much can happen until they find her and get her on their team. I will read the next book for sure, hoping that it will follow the trend of always getting better.

The Young Queens (Three Dark Crowns 0.2)

by Kendare Blake

112 Pages

Three black witches, born to a descending queen. One would rise to become queen in her place. Perhaps the strongest of the three. Perhaps the cleverest. Or perhaps it would be the girl born under the best shield of luck.

Katharine, Arsinoe and Mirabella - three young queens born to fulfil their destiny - to fight to the death to win the crown. But before they were poisoner, elemental and naturalist, they were children, sisters and friends . . .

I find it strange that there seems to be a trend of writing these novellas that fir in between other books. I mean, I get it, but I just find that most of them aren't very good and don't really fill my need of them. This was one such book. It was ripe with possibility, but the mark was totally missed. She could've written the entire thing about Arsinoe's attempted escape from the island, but she just skipped over it entirely. I don't get it. It was okay, and I liked reading about the Black Cottage and the old Queen, but the rest fell flat for me.

Lumberjanes (Lumberjanes #4)

by Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis & Brooke A. Allen

27 Pages

After a lot of convincing, the girls are able to agree to get Jen to take them on a hike. Making their way up to the tower and hoping to finally get some answers, they make their way closer only to be stopped by the neighboring boy camp! April, Mal, Molly, Jo, and Ripley have to figure out how to get to the tower, even if they have to use Jen as a distraction to do it.

Another great comic! I still really love this story line. Sadly this was the last comic I had so I have to go out and get the rest so that I can find out what happens next.

The Emperor and I (The Emperor and I #1)

by Mato

147 Pages

One day something emerges from high school girl Kaho’s refrigerator—an emperor penguin, the largest of all penguins! When this emperor joins the household, fun and wacky antics with family and friends ensue!

When I was a little girl, I used to dream about one day having a pet penguin and all the fun things that we would do together. This comic made me long for those dreams again. I've got to admit, I've been looking a little longer and harder into the fridge every time I open it. Can't wait to read more.

Herding Cats (Sarah's Scribbles #3)

by Sarah Andersen

108 Pages

Adjusting to life as a world-famous cartoonist isn't easy. Terrifying deadlines, piles of junk-food wrappers under a glowing computer screen, and an ever-growing horde of pets....umm, never mind--it's pretty much the same.

With characteristic wit and charm, Sarah Andersen's third collection of comics and illustrated personal essays offers a survival guide for frantic modern life: from the importance of avoiding morning people, to Internet troll defense 101, to the not-so-life-changing futility of tidying up. But when all else fails and the world around you is collapsing, make a hot chocolate, count the days until Halloween, and snuggle up next to your furry beacon of hope.

This book wasn't long enough. I loved it so much and I want it to go on forever. This comic always finds the right spot of funny, sad and relatable that I love so much. I hope she puts out more books in the future.

The Winter Long (October Daye #8)

by Seanan McGuire

358 Pages

For once, it seems like the Kingdom of the Mists has reached a point of, if not perfection, at least relative peace. Queen Arden Windermere is getting settled on her family's throne; no one's going to war with anyone else; it's almost like everything is going to be okay. Even October "Toby" Daye is starting to relax her constant vigilance, allowing herself to think about the future, and what it might entail.

And then Simon Torquill comes back, and everything begins to fall apart. In Faerie, nothing stays buried forever. No matter how much you might want it to.

After 8 books, I finally thought all of my questions would be answered. Turns out only some of them were. I need more answers! I guess I'll just have to keep reading. Good thing I've got the next book sitting on my shelf just waiting for me. As always, it was hard to put this book down at any time. Usually it was because my eyelids were getting too heavy and I kept reading the same paragraph over and over.

Leia, Princess of Alderaan (Journey to Star Wars)

by Claudia Gray

409 Pages (9:53 Hours)

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY....THERE WAS A PRINCESS WHO BECAME A LEGEND.

Sixteen-year-old Princess Leia Organa faces the most challenging task of her life so far: proving herself in the areas of body, mind, and heart to be formally named heir to the thrown of Alderaan. She's taking rigorous survival courses, practicing politics, and spearheading relief missions to worlds under Imperial control. But Leia has worries beyond her claim to the crown. Her parents, Breha and Bail, aren't acting like themselves lately; they are distant and preoccupied, seemingly more concerned with throwing dinner parties for their allies in the Senate than they are with their own daughter. Determined to uncover her parents' secrets, Leia starts down an increasingly dangerous path that puts her right under the watchful eye of the Empire. And when Leia discovers what her parents and their allies are planning behind closed doors, she finds herself facing what seems like an impossible choice; dedicate herself to the people of Alderaan--including the make she loves--or the galaxy at large, which is in desperate need of a rebel hero.

I wanted this to be amazing. It wasn't. It was still pretty good though. My main concern with it was that Leia didn't feel like Leia. She didn't have that cockiness and temper that makes her who she is. She felt a little more like a generic fantasy heroine in a Star Wars novel. This book is more about her "coming of age" and felt a little young at times. I loved that Amilyn Holdo (aka the kick-ass purple-haired Vice-Admiral from The Last Jedi) was a character in it and that her and Leia were friends, but at times she felt like she was just Luna Lovegood in a different skin.

Books that I am currently reading

A Fine Balance

by Rohinton Mistry

65 of 603 Pages

Ascent of Women

by Sally Armstrong

150 of 320 Pages

The Forbidden Heir (The Four Arts #2)

by M.J. Scott

155 of 352 Pages

The Mermaid Chair

by Sue Monk Kidd

50 of 368 Pages

#star wars #Talk Star Wars To Me #review #52 Books #new 52 #another 52 #Princess Leia #comics #Adventure Time

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